#idk if this makes sense or is applicable but this has been my experience!

[soartfullydone]

Did you ever read ACOSF? What did you think of the twilight baby plot?

Everything I know about ACOSF I've learned against my will lol. One of my best friends kept a play-by-play of each chapter in a Google Doc, so she could spare me the reading experience but also so we could make fun of it mercilessly.

In all seriousness, I knew I was never going to subject my eyes to it directly because I hate Nessian with a burning passion. I one-hundred percent believe that Nesta deserves better than everything she got, and she should've been meaner actually. Even when I somewhat liked ACOMAF, I felt utterly indifferent to Cassian. Who is this bland rice cake taking up the space where Lucien should be? No good dialogue or anything out of that guy. And then SJM wrote Nessian into MAF with all the subtlety of a clown show, and it was over. Nesta hates him! Keep him away from her! If she doesn't kill him, I will!

Most baby plots are horrendous in fiction, and I hate them deeply also. They often reduce women to being pure idiots (why do I have morning sickness after unprotected sex? a mystery!) or they reinforce this false idea that women can only achieve ultimate happiness by having their One True Love's baby. Ah, the number of women I know who are stuck in unhappy marriages, their sense of self completely lost because being a Wife and Mother comes first! Can those things be fulfilling? Absolutely. But a lot of folks are selling a romanticized idea of both, and SJM is no exception here.

Because look at what the Twilight baby plot does. It takes away all of Nesta's power, asserts her feelings of worthlessness, and encourages her to be a breeder for Cassian, who never even told her he loved her in their romance book. It puts her firmly and forever under Rhysand's and the Night Court's boot. It confirms that Feyre has also lost all her agency, that the High Lady title is meaningless, that her found family and Court do not respect her, that Rhysand will lie to her and trap her if it serves him to do so. That, ultimately, her body does not belong to her and she doesn't have a choice.

What really gets to me, too, is that these two women have to change their bodies to accommodate their love interests, their supposed fated mates. Methinks if it was fated, if they really were perfect for each other, this kind of change wouldn’t have been necessary 🤔. But also if this really were a fantasy story with all-powerful magical beings, there’s no reason why Feyre’s pregnancy should’ve been so risky to begin with. Barring that, there’s no reason why a C-section couldn’t have been an option. It was drama for the sake of drama, pain for the sake of pain. All filler, no substance.

Everything surrounding the baby plot and Nesta's forced captivity prove ACOMAF for the lie it is, a romanticized idea about overwritten trauma and choosing the Perfect Guy because he can read your mind and tell you the things you want to hear. I mean, how else do we go from Feyre earnestly believing she wants time with her new love, that a child can wait, to a Feyre who can't think of a single gift to give Rhys besides the news of her pregnancy? (Cue him cumming to the sight of their unborn child. I will never forget, and neither will you, dear anon, I'm sorry. But I didn't write it!)

And idk, given how much pregnancy in general squicks me out despite being a woman myself, how much medical care for women generally sucks, how many people are going through such pain with miscarriages, unviable pregnancies, and unclear yet strict abortion laws... This ain't it, fam! If SJM wants to talk real-life application with her trauma bullshit, then let's talk real-life application! Because no one, not a single person, has an I Am Become Death magic sister who can pull a dying mother and their dying baby back from the brink where medicine and the law have failed them. No one can have their premie who can't survive on its own suddenly turned into a healthy six-month-old. Who does this plot serve? Neither the reader nor the characters benefited.

I genuinely can't understand how SJM, as a mother herself, could write something so tone deaf, without even being brave enough to explore this kind of fear and pain with any care whatsoever. If she wanted Feyre and Nesta to actually bond over something... Feyre's pregnancy and what that means as a human-turned-fae and a mother could have been it. That could have been something the sisters discussed and helped each other with, where they could have learned more about each other and their deeper fears as young women in a society that does not truly respect them. Both of them share in family trauma, for fuck's sake! Now here Feyre is starting a new family at great risk while Nesta is still guiltily mourning the one she lost! The dots are there!

But no. Instead, not even Feyre is allowed to learn the truth about her pregnancy until Nesta tells her, and then Nesta is painted as a villain for doing so. Feyre isn't allowed to have any real opinion or lingering fears or doubts about her fate whatsoever. Because none of this stuff really matters, especially not the trauma. It's about the fucking, rutting, animal sex. It's about the smirking males, their dripping seed, and their inability to be anything besides horny at any given moment. It's about the washboard abs. Hey, a sexy story would be just fine with me! I just wish SJM would fully embrace that (and also write it better lmao) and get off her "I'm God's gift to feminism" soap box. Maybe take off the girlboss shades, too, because ain't none of her female characters even living up to the shallowness of a girlboss. The narrative undermines and undervalues them too much.

Actually, I have to clap my hands to SJM for this baby plot. I've never seen one that destroys two main female characters in a single stroke before. That's how powerful Rhysand's dick is.

[justajsworkshop]

Idk how to phrase this but- I lack faith in myself. It's like I'm always doing something wrong, everytime I notice my desire not being here or if a negative thought pops up. I feel like I am truly getting in my own way. I understand the law to the point I can explain it to a beginner but when it comes to applying it as part of my own practice, I can never seem to trust myself.

Each time I decide to go all in and change my state of being, I am in constant doubt that I'm not doing it right. There is this sinking feeling that I have not successfully changed self. I end up being hyperaware of what I'm feeling. I read other experiences and they talk about this deep knowing that comes when you change your state of being but I don't feel that and I keep checking the outer world (despite knowing that it is a reflection of my past state)

I have been studying Neville and Edward Art for a while now (like 4 years) and I've tried to fulfill the inner man and everything but you might have guessed-nothing changed. I know this is because I didn't change SELF successfully (I don't doubt the law at all). But after such a long time, I'm kinda tired and I just want to escape.

Sorry for this, but I feel incredibly tired now.

hey, anon. ok, so i have a lot to say on this. you’re welcome to choose an emoji if you wanna keep the convo going. i get the concept of “there’s no one to change but self,” and this is true… to a degree. and to be totally honest with you, i had a very similar experience with edward’s teachings. LOVED his content but struggled in the actual application of it. so, if you haven’t checked out tom’s stuff yet, i highly recommend it. it bridged that gap for me.

here’s my initial thoughts on everything you said:

you’re struggling to change because you think you need to need to change. reality creation, manifesting, shifting, whatever you want to call it isn’t about changing anything; it’s all about choosing. we manifest based on who and what we’re conscious of being, and from everything you’ve said above, you are conscious of being a person who struggles, who doesn’t feel change, who doesn’t get what they want, and who knows the law well but struggles to apply it.

each and every moment is the opportunity for redemption of the self: i.e., to CHOOSE who you want to be. and that’s really what we’re doing with affirming; it’s a proclamation of “i am that i am.”

the limited linear mind is always going to want proof and evidence. that’s ok. you just have to also hold the awareness that you are greater than what you see with your physical senses, as edward talks about in his amazing lecture on organ perception.

the definition of illusion, if you look it up, isn’t about reality vs. unreality. it’s about the fact that things aren’t what they seem. right now, you’re not seeing a full picture of yourself. and you—the greater you, your I AM awareness—already IS perfect, total, unconditional, and absolute fulfillment. there is nothing to change. there is nothing to fix. there’s only the decision to make that you are already that which you desire to be.

tom often quotes a line from the chosen where jesus, your I AM awareness, says, “i don’t need you to feel anything to do great things.” you’re judging your experience as nonfulfillment because you feel crappy inside yourself. but the emotions you feel aren’t who you are. i get wanting the feeling of peace. i really do. but recognize you are not your thoughts, your feelings, or any physical sensations happening within your body.

you are god; the absolute one changeless reality. but that unlimited being has to be filtered through limitation to experience itself (like edward’s talk on god becoming man so man could become god). right now, you’re god filtered through the limited perception of “i am not.”

this experience you’re having, as rotten as it is, is just one option within the infinite ways you can experience yourself. my recommendation would be to drop all judgments of yourself. and when you noticing yourself judging yourself for judging yourself, drop them again. deny the non reality of your nonfulfillment and CHOOSE to be that which you desire to be here and now. even if you feel like shit, choose it anyway. even if you doubt, choose it anyway. if you struggle to believe it’s possible for you, choose it anyway.

doubts are doubts, but i am. feelings are feelings, but i am. appearances are appearances, but i am. your faith may not be perfect, but you are. your belief may not be perfect, but you are. your application and technique may not be perfect, but you are.

if there’s anything to start affirming, i really recommend “i am that i am, and i am perfect.”

because it’s true. you are. remember yourself as you desire to be. judge not by appearances or the seemingly “unchanging past.” judge righteously; judge yourself as you desire to be: perfect, unconditional, and total fulfillment.

[inkykeiji]

hi! i have a dumb question but was film school scary? i majored in lit for undergrad and now i’m going to a film program for screenwriting for my masters BUT IM SO SCARED LMAO….like ahhh idk idk!! i have one friend that majored in film for undergrad and she was always studying, working on projects, etc. and now she has so much experience on her resume (w internships, projects etc.) n i don’t have any but got in to the same uni as her (both w screenwriting as our major) so i’m just scared i’m not prepared…

eeeee anon that is so exciting!!!!!! congrats!!!

ah i may not be the best person to ask as i didn’t technically go to film school in the literal sense (aka a program where you are constantly making films & getting hands-on experience), i got a degree in cinema studies (which, in my program, has a program within the cinema studies program for screenwriting that u have to submit a whole application and portfolio for etc). i chose not to go to traditional/hands-on film school because i was privileged enough to have film classes offered at my high school, which i took throughout my entire high school career. i felt like, after four years of practice, i had a pretty good grasp on the practical side of film + editing + all the elements of production n post production, and didn’t want to spend $$$$$ on something i already knew.

but!!! if your masters program is focused on screenwriting, then i don’t think you’ll be doing much hands-on pro / post production stuff??? unless they talk about like on-set rewrites and script doctors, but even then i’d assume that would only be a very small portion of your program. if you can look at the syllabi for a few of your classes you might be able to get a good idea of what to expect!

my point is, if your program is heavily focused on screenwriting (which i assume it would be???) then practical experience on-set + with post production wouldn’t really serve you all that much. if your friend studied film from an academic standpoint & studied film narrative and writing etc or had an internship with a screenwriter (not sure those exist???) or a writers room, then they’d probably have a bit of an upper hand.

either way, i wouldn’t worry too much anon bb <3 you got into the program because the faculty deemed you worthy and capable of being there! they most likely won’t just jump into the material and should offer some sort of refresh/review on the basics before they get started. better yet, they might even fully teach you the basics right off the bat! i can’t say for sure because i don’t know the program u got into obv, but there’s a chance they accepted other lit students too that have a writing background but not a screenwriting background. you probably won’t be alone! and worse case scenario and you feel like you’ve totally been thrown to the sharks, there are tons of incredible screenwriting resources online & in textbooks that you can check out, too!

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Hiii, sorry if it's weird to ask stuff like this but do you think you have any advice on what to do when you're way of loving ends up hurting the people around you?

hii anon, its not weird dont worri ^^ i dont kno the context of ur situation so this is my vague advice,i hope its applicable . first you must try to forgive yourself, cus u are trying. even just by asking this, it shows u are a loving person. idk if this makes sense, but your love doesnt hurt ppl- what hurts them is the process of misunderstandings and conflicts that comes w opening urself up to love. it hurts us all, and for many ppl it hurts so bad that they avoid love altogether. we see ourselves in others, when we are put thru trials together, and we see our own weaknesses mirrored back by the other person.. plus+ this is happening to both parties at once,each perceiving the conflict by their own unique lense of the world that has been shaped by their previous experiences.. the pain of feeling misunderstood can send things spiralling, aaah its so incredibly messy to try to love!

so this is why you must forgive yourself. if you can forgive the parts of you that hurt to see mirrored by others, at least when misunderstandings happen there's one of you that is more likely to respond better. which ultimately begins to create new feedback loops in the relationship, however small, it is how new cycles begin. this is how trust is built. so i think self forgiveness is a good place 2 start.

if things just rly arent clicking w the ppl in ur life and you've tried all you can.. sometimes its the best thing to apply distance, altho it can be so hard to let go. it doesnt mean u have to leave their life forever or something drastic. maybe something in the dynamic just has to shift. giving someone space and loving them from afar is a noble thing. its a lot healthier than smothering.

pray for the people in ur life! prayer for others is the most powerful kind of prayer there is. its a sincere act of love, to sit alone and think about the ones u cherish, asking for them to be protected and happy and nurtured. no one asked you to do that, you just do it, because you love them. i believe thats how you like, send ppl holy exp or something. i don't know how to explain what i believe without typing out a novel. just send people love, especially when they dont know ur doing it. also, when ur sad n anxious, it can help a lot to occupy ur mind n reshift ur focus to a loving place. it feels so good aaahhh it feels so warm..

all im rly trying to say is...love does not hurt! being vulnerable hurts. confronting urself hurts. challenges hurt. growth hurts, letting go hurts. but #LOVE is what makes the #PAIN worth it....so LOVE no matter what anon ToT send out unconditional love into the world cus it will only get bigger and bigger, if everyone could do this, the world would be healed... GANBATTE ANON!!!!!!!!! LOVE SAVES!!!!!!!!

[euthaneyez]

Hi, nice to meet you! Hope you're doing well

I've been following you for a while both here and on Twitter, thank you for staying active✨️

You've visited a few BT lives last year, I'm sure you liked them a lot. They're always fun😏

So, I decided to ask you how you managed with getting the tickets. It seems to have become quite problematic for foreigners...

My experience visiting the lives was between 2017-2019. Back then, they used another app but basically the same scheme. It did work for me; but the recent BT app is failing me. Moreover, its ticket tab has started showing an error screen when I push the button "proceed to phone...". I've also read reports that foreigners from different countries couldn't gain an access to the app's functions.

So, what was your experience? Did everything go smoothly (if yours is a non-Japanese phone number ofc)? I hope it's OK to ask. I just want to understand if there's any sense for me in going to the next tour🥲🫠

Hey!! Thank you for following!

As for tickets, the app isn't available in a lot of countries so you will probably have to use a VPN just to be able to download it (but you seem to have already done so). Once you have it the process of verifying your phone number can take literal months of error messages and reattempting as someone without a jpn #, the trick for me was to make sure i was using my data and not wifi while attempting to get the verification code(idk why). However once your phone is verified it's an extremely smooth process to enter concerts! Just make sure you register your face pic!

If you bring a companion who isn't an ft member though then you Will have problems. So far all 3 times i or my friends brought companions we've had to go to customer service at the venue and get wristbands for our companion's tickets.

But all in all it's totally worth it and very easy once you have been able to verify your phone number, and if you never can you will still be able to get your tickets through customer service, they just check your passport and ft ID # and give you a wristband!

(imho the worst part is usually ticket applications now bc you have to jump through a lot of hoops as a foreign fan when it comes to entering addresses and stuff)

also feel free to dm on twt if this didnt answer ur questions/if u have more! this goes to anyone!

[bongkillua]

im SUPER late to the ask game however. 5 & 9 for all of them

anon you are never too late i love talking abt these guys and these r rly good questions

5. How did you figure out your oc’s identity?

TUCKER - Tucker's has definitely ebbed and flowed with my own identity! He initially had a very different backstory that was explicitly about him being a stealth and closeted gay trans man. the way i played him made it so that it didnt really work for him to be trans but i hate playing cis characters so there was some weird magic and memory shit involved to make it work. but it just didnt make sense with the reworked story. took it as an opportunity to make him more openly trans but he was still an exclusive gay man for a while. and well then xander came around and i realized i was bisexual so now tucker is unlabeled because i just know hes going to keep changing with me. but like i truly dont think his character can wholly by separated from Gay Trans Man because so much of his personality and identity was built around that in the beginning.

XANDER - i made xander for the sole purpose of having fun with him. like seriously i made him for a school assignment because i didnt have a "cunty, whorish enough" character for the assignment and then she just stuck around so like... her identity has always just been "whatever is fun!" in the beginning he was like explicitly transmasc but i was playing around with using she/her pronouns for myself again so i gave them to xander to see if it would help me gain more confidence and it did! as i fleshed her out more tho her backstory started to rly revolve around changing identity and like specifically masculinity vs. femininity and how she performs both, and wuth that came the idea of transitioning back and forth over periods of time. because of THAT i wanted her to be really into drag because thats what drag is all about... and because shes rly into drag i wanted to explore her relationship to the transFEMININE experience because drag really cant be separated from that. so ive rly focused on embodying binary identities as performance for her gender. and because she sleeps around a lot ive just made her super fluid in terms of sexuality. shes not picky!

JORDAN - jordan was a he/they from the jump but i struggled a lot with their design and development for like YEARS but once i finally started fleshing them out i was immediately like "nah this guy prefers they/them and tacks he on for normies" and it genuinely helped me solidify his perception of not only their own identity but also life in general? theyre very "go with the flow because theyre extremely confident in themself and dont care how others perceive them". and then bisexual just seemed Right. idk. he sorta embodies "cool bisexual kid in high school that helps u realize ur also queer" and i just kinda went with the stereotype lol. also he seems like a Megan Fox Enjoyer.

KONAMI - i designed konami at a time where i was rly interested in the intersection of neurodivergence and queerness so his identity was def informed by that! along with queerness in childhood as a theme. ive always associated aesthetics like his with the rise in usage of neopronouns (in a good way!) so it just made sense to have them use it/its. if i wasnt a coward id throw some more fun pronouns on there but konami is also just a little guy so i honestly default to he/him a lot in the same way that you'd refer to like. a dog. and once again bisexual just made sense. i established pretty early on that his parents were super accepting of him being trans (konami was a binary trans guy when he was alive!) so i feel like sexuality just wasnt a huge concern for him.

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THIS IS LITERALLY THE ENTIRE UNDERLYING PREMISE OF WOLFSBANE SO HERE WE GO LOL

TUCKER- ok so the more independent tucker became as a character the more i really leaned into how lycanthropy influences his identity and specifically his queerness. its always been a big part of his story but i rly got to Focus on it once he was mine and mine alone. so in wolfsbane lycanthropy is like. almost directly a metaphor for neurodivergence and like. how do i say this. Being Weird And Feeling Wrong As A Child. which you could argue also makes it a metaphor for transness but like i feel like his lycanthropy makes him trans in other separate ways? like lycanthropy in wolfsbane canonically causes an increase in testosterone production so tucker naturally has facial hair and body hair and a rly deep voice and "male-aligned" body fat distribution. despite being afab. and thats like a big struggle in the story bc his father wants him to Hide that but tucker is very Confident in that, both because he wants to embrace being a werewolf but ALSO because it gives him gender euphoria. and it takes him a LONG time to figure out that those are simultaneously separate things ("im not trans i just look like this!" (you are. you are trans)) and also intrinsically tied (transness as a feeling of Other as opposed to a distinct Gender Identity). AUGH idk if that makes sense. sexuality works pretty similarly. tucker has to repress a lot of himself because his family is scared that his lycanthropy will make him unruly and uncontrollable, and that he will hurt WHOEVER he loves. and in trying to control him they want him to Assimilate (aka Be Heterosexual). so he faces a similar struggle where he spends a long time trying to figure out if hes queer because he Likes Men or if hes queer because he Likes People, BOTH of which have been withheld from him.

XANDER- xander is an energy vampire and relies a lot on the balance between Taking and Giving. this means that he has to hide his true identity and give people a false one in order to get what he needs from them. and when you are performing an identity day in and day out is it really a performance anymore? or is it such a performance that it cant possibly be who you are? so thats like the Central struggle that vampirism invokes onto his identity. sexuality works similarly (can you tell that i have a hard time distancing gender from sexuality?) where he spends so much time forging these fake bonds and hooking up with anyone who will give him the time of day that he really doesnt have the time, energy, or maturity to figure out who he's Truly attracted to. her constant need to perform makes it nearly impossible for her to feel authentic in any way.

JORDAN- im gonna start sounding like a broken record at this point but my understanding of transness and queerness is so far removed from the idea of gender itself that i have no choice but to talk about identity as a whole. SORRY. anyways jordan's identity is heavily influenced by his schizophrenia and his dad. and the way THAT influences him is that he wants to Minimize his body because they do not feel attached to their body at all. and Maximize his ability to Reflect his Father because those experiences were the most important to him. so like. really thinking about it now i feel like a big reason why they even identify as transmasc is a. They Need To Remove Any Unnecessary Part Of Their Body NOW And That Means The Tits Have Got to Go amd b. he can distance himself from who he was as a child and align himself with his FATHER who is like the most important and influential figure in his life. in terms of sexuality they're kind of similar to xander but like the reverse side of the coin? They are so authentically themself that its hard for them to find room in their life for another person. so like while jordan identifies as bisexual i often say they also align themself with aromanticism because romance is just very difficult for him to figure out. a lot of the times it boils down to utility over attraction. which works for some people! (tucker) and not for others (all of his ex's).

KONAMI- konami died and forgot what gender and sexuality were. i explain this more HERE but because of konami's history it doesnt have a reference point for what gender Is. so a lot of his identity boils down to concepts as opposed to things like masculinity and femininity. i really want to do more deep exploration into how tucker, xander, and jordan's queerness influences konami's own identity as well as his perception of gender and identity but i guess for a quick answer he latches onto Connecting Words before he latches onto Individual Labels. so things like "dad" and "aunt" make more sense to him than "man" and "woman" because they have a purpose and a role attached to them. but then again those roles have been defined by queer people who don't perfectly fit into the Status Quo of that role but enact/perform it in unique and nuanced ways. this is also why he more quickly latches onto "son" and "boy" (and specifically how boy fits into a Family structure) than any other gendered labels. again like ive stated before, bisexual came pretty easily because with a lack of gender awareness just came an understanding that gender wasn't a factor in regards to attraction. hence bisexual.

this is so long omfg but what it all boils down to is um. my relationship to queerness is founded on experience, intersectionality, and bodily autonomy, not gender as its own concept. so nonhuman identities (and sometimes just Different Human identities) are always going to influence identity and Be A Metaphor for HOW experience influences identity and vis versa.

[fersrsbizniz]

The next episode is called “Double Jeopardy”.

I remember nothing but I see Blackarachnia and I’m all in. She was one of my favorites, too, and I can’t wait to see why and how she will be a favorite again!

*Note: this was in my drafts for a minute, but since the new news is out regarding the movie, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to continue on. I’m having fun at least.

Opening song, guitar riffs, sound effects, etc…

They’re cold 🥶 and something about that is adorable and I don’t know why. I mean, it makes sense. Their insides are machinery that can very much freeze up, but it’s just…awwww, they’re cold!

I’m also thinking about how harsh I’ve been regarding the Maximals (and here I thought I’d been going easy). I rewatched a few episodes before touching on this one (yeah yeah, I just started and have two more seasons after this one, but it’s the principle of the thing) and they are just some serious newbies, aren’t they? Like they have “training” because their world (that to be fair I know absolutely nothing about other than it is robot planet off in the distant ether that is no time or budget to touch on right now) seems like it needs at least some for whatever reason, precaution? idk, but these are just some space nerds with only a few of them having any sort of combat experience and a batch of half-formed Maximals in stasis pods who had the misfortune of just being those unlucky bitches to come across the ship everyone is losing it about.

No wonder it’s a shitshow out there in battles. Honestly, Optimus, I should buy you a drink or something. I’m sure being commander of what might have been some maybe minor scuffles running into jackass supreme really made you want to renegotiate your contract at some point. If you could, that is.

And now it makes sense as to why they have little “teenage” Cheetor over there. Or however old he is supposed to be.

Tbh, makes me more critical of Megatron, though. Clearly, you can plan things and past performance has been a little embarrassing for you. I don’t want you to win, but come on, you’ve got the upper hand in a lot of this.

Okay, back to the episode…

And here we see a good application of that Predacon upper hand.

“Our strategic disadvantage is considerable”

“Work with it!” *promptly gets shot in the back*

I’m dying with that timing.

Omfg, I had to rewatch but Dinobot fell as if he got hit before he got hit with anything. Oh good old cgi…

Now the race continues with Optimus and Waspinator, while Dinobot gets a good shot in.

Yeah, no. Like I know they lose it, but it really was clear from the start they weren’t going to save this one. While Optimus and Dinobot are possibly the two most prepared for such a fight, there’s too many shenanigans (and they already got Tigatron) going on.

OH WAIT! Is this the one where they find out the place is…?

Oh it IS. I DO remember some of this.

Lol, Cheetor’s “Well, I never” hand gesture when Optimus plays at not trusting Rattrap.

I think that this is a pretty good example of how Optimus has some special bonds with everyone, and how some of it is off screen growth. Being able to pull this off with Rattrap means he could trust him not to just lose it by putting on a show, and be savvy enough to pull off looking like he is angry while still getting things done. In turn Rattrap is actually participating in something he very much would not have been inclined to do in the first few episodes, when he flat out would disrespect Optimus’ orders. Now look at him, getting ready to go into the enemy’s lair. Well, territory, but the lair is going to have info they need.

I know I’m also going to be reacting to this now with a better memory, and knowing the end game, but I do want everyone to know as a child I was SCANDALIZED at Rattrap’s mid-episode choice.

“Everything we could desire”???? Well, just telegraph what you wanted there, buddy. I’m so glad she has a mind of her own because, like, for real, Tarantulas is striking me a blend of “mad scientist” (something I’m all for mind you) and a variant of a certain type of individual who would perhaps use a jar and collectible figure in a very non-wholesome way. Which is concerning.

Really, though, she is pretty awesome. Dunno if you needed the chest area to be so pronounced, but hey, she looks cool as a whole, so that’s my complaint for the day. Let’s just watch her…do whatever that was. Checking out her abilities? Being a little weirdo? Idk but she did that.

Megatron may be calling him thirsty here but there are also a lot of other things he could be saying with that. I’m going to keep with my interpretation. Tarantulas is not being subtle in the slightest.

Ouch…low blow Rhinox. Dinobot might not be right but he was trying to help…in his destructive-no chill way. At any rate, I love the whole drama in this scene.

Terrorsaur being full of himself and easy to manipulate, as per usual

Hahahahaha…yeah he wanted someone pretty to look at. Was that why I didn’t like him? No, probably something more substantial. I feel you on that sigh though Blackarachnia

On the Maximal side of things, They’re talking about getting Rattrap, while I’m here nursing a budding feeling for a certain pair up. During a basic perusal I found some fandom shipping material—as one inevitably does—and admit that a particular ship that I never would have thought too hard about is growing on me like ivy…or perhaps more like a burr throwing flower. Is there much to go on here? Of course not. But Dinobot agreeing with Optimus, and the growing respect he has for him IS growing the interest necessary to delve further.

Oh I’m in the toils that is a fixation. I feel it.

In other news Dinobot is saying Rattrap needs to be brought to justice which is just so…Maximal of him if it weren’t a blatant suggestion to have him killed after he’s been interrogated.

See Megatron, these are the smarts I expect from you. Is it really your ego holding you down that badly? The answer is yes. Yeeeeesss.

There’s not too much to say about this other than this is the episode when I was younger that solidified my like for Rattrap (once I realized what was going on), and it is once again confirming that he is just a bad ass and I love it. He’s the reason that they are able to stop the whole internal spying thing, and does it with the style of my favorite class in any rpg.

And he even has a wrist blade. That’s cool and you all know it.

AND he shoots Tarantulas before he becomes a bigger issue. Smart. Sure it’s more of a knock out than anything lethal, but it’s the thought that counts.

Here comes the big fight, and I will say, I feel highly energized by it. Also, count me as torn between amused and logistically concerned about Rattrap being accurate when hitting Optimus. Guy had his reasons—but it could have screwed them over.

Cue the moment where Blackarachnia was almost unfazed by being shot multiple times, and Cheetor actually hit her a few times, again not lethally.

Huh, that makes me wonder…who is the most accurate shot in this show as a whole?

Then cue Dinobot head butting Terrorsaur (who I stg just said “oh no”), Megatron’s ultimatum, and Rattrap showing his true Maximal colors.

Cool move Rattrap, cool moves Dinobot. Like no joke, in that short amount of time they both did more damage than in half of a regular old shoot out.

And yaaay handshakes and jokes!!!

Be honest, though, Rattrap. You hit him a little on purpose (I don’t want to take away my previous praise for your aiming abilities so I’m just going to go with that).

And with that the episode is over. That was fun!

Also, Blackarachnia just like, fucks off and I love the audacity of it. Yeah, she’s a fave.

[colemckenzies]

hi sorry to bother you but do you have any advice on how to make friends in your 20s? seeing you happy and enjoying your friendship group is so good and wholesome and everything i kind of want out of my life lol <3 any advice appreciated!

aw this is so nice!!!

i mean the biggest impetus for me was moving to a new city where i knew literally not a single person and then living alone in said city, so i had no choice but to go out and meet people like there was nothing else i could do. and i will say it has been really hard, particularly as i work full-time and study part-time, and have been recovering from some Stuff that happened in 2020, and even now it's sometimes A Lot because it does take me a solid 5 years of knowing someone before I'm like Yes Okay We Are For Real Friends And I Can Be Myself With You lol. but it has also been really gratifying and i do always recommend getting out there and connecting w people irl!!!

i obviously don't know what you're situation is or how much it aligns w my experience but with that said here are my Top Tips:

apps. when i first moved i met most people my age through Bumble BFF which is a bit cringe and awkward but it was a great starting point, it basically kick-started my entire social life bc you know that the people on it are ALSO actively looking for friends (literally the first person i met was so invested that they threw loads of networking events for everyone they had met and started a groupchat and i met a lot of people that way). also tinder lmao the two people i talk to/hang out with most are both people i met on tinder it's a great way to specifically roll with the el gee bee tees

clubs/societies. personally i find clubs really hard to commit to (see the work/uni time commitment lol i just get too tired) but the thing to remember is you don't have to do them forever. i joined all sorts of groups for a few months, and then when there were people there i really liked (who i knew shared an interest in whatever thing it was) i just stayed in contact with them. and then obviously if you really like a group you can keep doing it (i still do theatre and LOVE literally everyone there). these groups are good as well because they really cultivate Local Community investment in particular and i think it's important to interact w people from different backgrounds/age groups you wouldn't necessarily be Friends with but like they ARE your local community

community centres/local businesses. like that tiktok that says about Just Show Up Somewhere Regularly, like this could be going to your favourite coffee shop/community space and then just keeping an eye out for who else is always there at the same time as you, but ALSO could be more active than that. most of my main friend group are big contributors to the local queer arts scene and organise events w the local arts centre/pubs/etc so don't be afraid to ask your local institutions what's going on or if you can volunteer. again i think actively investing in local community is really key here and provides you a wide net to rely on and full of more individuals you can meet one-on-one

group chats are your friend. i love a groupchat these days i used to hate friendship groups in school bc it was so cliquey and required so much maintenance and ive always preferred hanging out with people one-on-one (still do) but now im in sooo many groupchats and it's nice if i have a free evening and feel like doing something and i can just post 'hey is anyone free' and then people r free and sometimes they will bring people THEY know and then i meet more people.

reddit. was not expecting this to be a thing and i only had an account for a very short while but my city's subreddit was SO useful when i first moved for finding out about events/clubs that weren't advertised elsewhere and getting local insider info. i personally didn't meet anyone this way but i know they did organise meet-ups and have a CITY DISCORD SERVER so that may work for u if your city has something like that lmao

be open to making friends. with the above said as ways to meet people u have to be willing to actually make friends with people!! in my town instagram seems to be the main way to low-committal connect w people so i made a public account and now whenever i meet the vaguest stranger at an event who seems cool im like oh yeah let's follow each other lol. say yes when people invite you places and be willing to invite other people to hang out if you think you would be friends! a good way to bridge the gap between Acquaintances and Friends is to tell the acquaintance abt something you're doing anyway so then it's no pressure. like if you're part of a local group (see point 2) or going to an event (see point 3) just be like 'oh I'll be at this thing maybe see you there!' and then if they are there you can talk to them more and if you do this enough times you are now friends. or just in general be willing to (casually) do nice things for people even if it might seem a bit weird like when I got new neighbours i put my phone number through their letterbox in case they needed anything i got someone i didn't know That well a gift just because it was something specific they'd been talking about i thought they would like i saw someone on instagram say they loved handwritten letters so i asked if they minded sharing their address - as long as you're polite and not pushy about it and don't mind if people just ignore it then it's nice!

cast a wide net. as u may have noted from the above points lol i think it mostly comes down to meeting EVERYONE and being open to EVERYTHING and not putting too much pressure on anything or anyone in particular so that you will just organically get closer with the people you're supposed to get close with and nothing is forced. its great to find your Platonic Soulmate or w/e but you do also just need a certain base level of socialisation and u gotta work with what you have. if you just assume that most human beings you interact with on a day to day basis are kind people with good intentions not only does life feel a lot easier but it's easier to remember that you are just Someone Who Lives In A Place and so are they and it's all fine.

think about people you already know. obviously it's great when you really Click with someone and meeting new people is refreshing and interesting but is there anyone you already know nearby who you've never been Friends friends with but you get on and could see yourself being friends if you actually invested time in it? reach out!! i think this is esp good bc as much as personality is a factor in friends never underestimate the power of just Knowing Their Name For A Long Time lmao. shared reference points in your history are huge even if you didn't actually talk to them at the time those reference points happened.

still take time for yourself. obviously the above takes a lot of time and energy and emotional effort and it's taken me over a year to get to the point that im at. sometimes it's really hard because i will have plans literally every day of the week and ive met so many people i COULD be friends with and then i feel guilty bc i haven't seen X person for three months lol. but i think it's nice to know that you COULD meet up with someone and invest in any one of those friendships you have but instead you are going to Choose to spend the weekend by yourself bc you are an individual WITHIN this large web of interconnected people and u still exist the whole time. like at the end of the day i am still in fact an introvert and when im with people i don't know that well i still mask a lot so i do need to take time to be by myself sometimes! and everyone is fine w that !

[appleflavoredkitkats]

i’ve been thinking about this lately but idk if people from western/ex-imperialist countries could ever stomach the everlasting effect colonization has done onto our countries. like. for the longest time i’ve had multiple crises on my own culture as a filipino because even if i was raised filipino within the mainland, i grew up surrounded with western pop culture and western city structures and western brands and western educational material. i can speak tagalog but nothing too intricate, and it’s difficult to learn tagalog now because there are barely any accessible resources online that would help. think about the non-tagalog, filipino languages that barely have resources either. and not only that but the general filipino society barely question these norms instilled in us by our colonizers. my family, who HAD more experiences with traditional filipino culture, just didn’t care about whether i could speak tagalog or not. they didn’t even bother teaching me shit when i didn’t understand because it’s seen as normal. and now the interest to preserve the longevity of filipino culture is decreasing due to how most of the newer generations learn from the internet, which is controlled by western algorithms and media. and shit continues to be normalized because western fucks think that their contexts are universally applicable. like when you talk about your western fast food chains and then talk about your issues using words like “everyone” and pretending like other non-western countries fit under your big umbrella and western statistics when it isn’t. it’s western data and western news and western contexts and the way no one bends down and immediately assumes we Get it makes so many non-westerners feel obligated to Know your contexts ourselves and. istg so many people here know everything that happens in the west even when it’s barely APPLICABLE here. y’all are gradually making us adopt your beliefs. and then when we introduce our shit y’all immediately think we’re the “different” ones. like whatever y’all sometimes colonial beliefs and imperialism and westernization can be seen in the smallest of actions and ideologies and they barely get questioned. sucks to see my country’s culture and my own sense of culture get sucked down the drain because none of u refuse to acknowledge it. like, how were you able to kill my people's interest in being themselves?

[cryolyst]

thinkin abt this awful homophobic kid tht i went to elementary and junior high with

[pumpkinpaix]

hello there, hope you're having a nice day <3

so i've been reading a lot of fics lately, uk for sanity's sake, and i've noticed that in most of them, lwj doesn't use contractions (eg., says do not instead of don't)?? and i think he doesn't in the novel either but i don't remember lol so i can't be sure but anyway that made me curious - does chinese have contractions as well? does he not use it bc it's informal?

hello there! I’m doing all right, i started to answer this ask while waiting for a jingyeast loaf to come out of the oven 😊 many thanks to @bookofstars for helping me look over/edit/correct this post!! :D

anyways! the answer to your questions are complicated (of course it is when is anything simple with me), so let’s see if I can break it down--you’re asking a) whether chinese has contractions, b) if it does, how does they change the tone of the sentence--is it similar to english or no?, and c) how does this all end up with lan wangji pretty much never using contractions in english fic/translation?

I’m gonna start by talking about how formality is (generally) expressed in each language, and hopefully, by the end of this post, all the questions will have been answered in one way or another. so: chinese and english express variations in formality/register differently, oftentimes in ways that run contrary to one another. I am, as always, neither a linguist nor an expert in chinese and english uhhh sociological grammar? for lack of a better word. I’m speaking from my own experience and knowledge :D

so with a character like lan wangji, it makes perfect sense in english to write his dialogue without contractions, as contractions are considered informal or colloquial. I don’t know if this has changed in recent years, but I was always taught in school to never use contractions in my academic papers.

However! not using contractions necessarily extends the length of the sentence: “do not” takes longer to say than “don’t”, “cannot” is longer than “can’t” etc. in english, formality is often correlated with sentence length: the longest way you can say something ends up sounding the most formal. for a very simplified example, take this progression from least formal to absurdly formal:

whatcha doin’?

what’re you doing?

what are you doing? [standard colloquial]

may I ask what you are doing?

might I inquire as to what you are doing?

excuse me, but might I inquire as to what you are doing?

pardon my intrusion, but might I inquire as to what you are doing?

please pardon my intrusion, but might inquire as to the nature of your current actions?

this is obviously a somewhat overwrought example, but you get the point. oftentimes, the longer, more complex, more indirect sentence constructions indicate a greater formality, often because there is a simultaneous decreasing of certainty. downplaying the speaker’s certainty can show deference (or weakness) in english, while certainty tends to show authority/confidence (or aggression/rudeness).

different words also carry different implications of formality—in the example, I switched “excuse me” to “pardon me” during one of the step ups. pardon (to me at least) feels like a more formal word than “excuse”. Similarly, “inquire” is more formal than “ask” etc. I suspect that at least some of what makes one word seem more formal than one of its synonyms has to do with etymology. many of english’s most formal/academic words come from latin (which also tends to have longer words generally!), while our personal/colloquial words tend to have germanic origins (inquire [latin] vs ask [germanic]).

you’ll also notice that changing a more direct sentence structure (“may I ask what”) to a more indirect one (“might I inquire as to”) also jumps a register. a lot of english is like this — you can complicate simple direct sentences by switching the way you use the verbs/how many auxiliaries you use etc.

THE POINT IS: with regards to english, more formal sentence structures are often (not always) longer and more indirect than informal ones. this leads us to a problem with a character like lan wangji.

lan wangji is canonically very taciturn. if he can express his meaning in two words rather than three, then he will. and chinese allows for this—in extreme ways. if you haven’t already read @hunxi-guilai’s post on linguistic register (in CQL only, but it’s applicable across the board), I would start there because haha! I certainly do Not have a degree in Classical Chinese lit and she does a great job. :D

you can see from the examples that hunxi chose that often, longer sentences tend to be more informal in chinese (not always, which I’ll circle back to at the end lol). Colloquial chinese makes use of helping particles to indicate tone and meaning, as is shown in wei wuxian’s dialogue. and, as hunxi explained, those particles are largely absent from lan wangji’s speech pattern. chinese isn’t built of “words” in the way English is—each character is less a word and more a morpheme—and the language allows for a lot of information to be encoded in one character. a single character can often stand for a phrase within a sentence without sacrificing either meaning or formality. lan wangji makes ample use of this in order to express himself in the fewest syllables possible.

so this obviously leads to an incongruity when trying to translate his dialogue or capture his voice in English: shorter sentences are usually more direct by nature, and directness/certainty is often construed as rudeness -- but it might seem strange to see lan wangji’s dialogue full of longer sentences while the narration explicitly says that he uses very short sentences. so what happens is that many english fic writers extrapolated this into creating an english speech pattern for lan wangji that reads oddly. they’ll have lan wangji speak in grammatically incoherent fragments that distill his intended thought because they’re trying to recreate his succinctness. unfortunately, English doesn’t have as much freedom as Chinese does in this way, and it results in lan wangji sounding as if he has some kind of linguistic impediment and/or as if he’s being unspeakably rude in certain situations. In reality, lan wangji’s speech is perfectly polite for a young member of the gentry (though he’s still terribly rude in other ways lol). he speaks in full, and honestly, quite eloquent sentences.

hunxi’s post already has a lot of examples, but I figure I’ll do one as well focused on the specifics of this post.

I’m going to use this exchange from chapter 63 between the twin jades because I think it’s a pretty simple way to illustrate what I’m talking about:

蓝曦臣道：“你亲眼所见？”

蓝忘机道：“他亲眼所见。”

蓝曦臣道：“你相信他？”

蓝忘机道：“信。”

[...] 蓝曦臣道：“那么金光瑶呢？”

蓝忘机道：“不可信。”

my translation:

Lan Xichen said, “You saw it with your own eyes?”

Lan Wangji said, “He saw it with his own eyes.”

Lan Xichen said, “You believe him?”

Lan Wangji said, “I believe him.”

[...] Lan Xichen said, “Then what about Jin Guangyao?”

Lan Wangji said, “He cannot be believed.”

you can see how much longer the (pretty literal) english translations are! every single line of dialogue is expanded because things that can be omitted in chinese cannot be omitted in english without losing grammatical coherency. i‘ll break a few of them down:

Lan Xichen’s first line:

你 (you) 亲眼 (with one’s own eyes) 所 (literary auxiliary) 见 (met/saw)？

idk but i love this line a lot lmao. it just has such an elegant feel to me, probably because I am an uncultured rube. anyways, you see here that he expressed his full thought in five characters.

if I were to rewrite this sentence into something much less formal/much more modern, I might have it become something like this:

你是自己看见的吗？

你 (you) 是 (to be) 自己 (oneself) 看见 (see) 的 (auxiliary) 吗 (interrogative particle)？

i suspect that this construction might even be somewhat childish? I’ve replaced every single formal part of the sentence with a more colloquial one. instead of 亲眼 i’ve used 自己, instead of 所见 i’ve used 看见的 and then also added an interrogative particle at the end for good measure (吗). To translate this, I would probably go with “Did you see it yourself?”

contained in this is also an example of how one character can represent a whole concept that can also be represented with two characters: 见 vs 看见. in this example, both mean “to see”. we’ll see it again in the next example as well:

in response to lan xichen’s, “you believe him?” --> 你 (you) 相信 (believe) 他 (him)? lan wangji answers with, “信” (believe).

chinese does not do yes or no questions in the same way that english does. there is no catch-all for yes or no, though there are general affirmative (是／有) and negative (不／没) characters. there are other affirmative/negative characters, but these are the ones that I believe are the most common and also the ones that you may see in response to yes or no questions on their own. (don’t quote me on that lol)

regardless, the way you respond to a yes or no question is often by repeating the verb phrase either in affirmative or negative. so here, when lan xichen asks if lan wangji believes wei wuxian, lan wangji responds “believe”. once again, you can see that one character can stand in for a concept that may also be expressed in two characters: 信 takes the place of 相信. lan wangji could have responded with “相信” just as well, but, true to his character, he didn’t because he didn’t need to. this is still a complete sentence. lan wangji has discarded the subject (I), the object (him), and also half the verb (相), and lost no meaning whatsoever. you can’t do this in english!

and onto the last exchange:

lan xichen: 那么 (then) 金光瑶 (jin guangyao) 呢 (what about)？

lan wangji: 不可 (cannot) 信 (believe)

you can actually see the contrast between the two brothers’ speech patterns even in this. lan xichen’s question is not quite as pared down as it could be. if it were wangji’s line instead, I would expect it to read simply “金光瑶呢？” which would just be “what about jin guangyao?” 那么 isn’t necessary to convey the core thought -- it’s just as how “then what about” is different than “what about”, but “then” is not necessary to the central question. if we wanted to keep the “then” aspect, you could still cut out 么 and it would be the same meaning as well.

a FINAL example of how something can be cut down just because I think examples are helpful:

“I don’t know” is usually given as 我不知道. (this is what nie huaisang says lol) It contains subject (我) and full verb (知道). you can pare this straight down to just 不知 and it would mean the same thing in the correct context. i think most of the characters do this at least once? it sounds more literary -- i don’t know that i would ever use it in everyday speech, but the fact remains that it’s a possibility. both could be translated as “I do not know” and it would be accurate.

ANYWAYS, getting all the way back to one of your original questions: does chinese have contractions? and the answer is like... kind of...?? but not really. there’s certainly slang/dialect variants that can be used in ways that are reminiscent of english contractions. the example I’m thinking of is the character 啥 (sha2) which can be used as slang in place of 什么 (shen2 me). (which means “what”)

so for a standard sentence of, 你在做什么? (what are you doing), you could shorten down to just 做啥? and the second construction is less formal than the first, but they mean the same thing.

other slang i can think of off the top of my head: 干嘛 (gan4 ma2) is also informal slang for “what are you doing”. and i think this is a regional thing, but you can also use 搞 (gao3) and 整 (zheng3) to mean “do” as well.

so in the same way that you can replace 什么 with 啥, you can replace 做 as well to get constructions like 搞啥 (gao3 sha2) and 整啥 (zheng3 sha2).

these are all different ways to say “what are you doing” lmao, and in this case, shorter is not, in fact, more formal.

woo! we made it to the end! I hope it was informative and helpful to you anon. :D

this is where I would normally throw my ko-fi, but instead, I’m actually going to link you to this fundraising post for an old fandom friend of mine. her house burned down mid-september and they could still use help if anyone can spare it! if this post would have moved you to buy me a ko-fi, please send that money to her family instead. :) rbs are also appreciated on the post itself. (* ´▽` *)

anyways, here’s the loaf jingyeast made :3 it was very tasty.

[rosesastrology]

hey, do chiron aspects matter much in natal chart? i know someone whoose chiron is so badly aspected and idk how much attention i should pay to it? for example:

chiron opposite moon and ascendent

chiron square mercury, venus, jupiter, uranus, neptune

chiron inconjuct saturn.

his chiron is in scorpio. would it actually point out to a great wound that troubles someone on an active scale? thanks!

Good question. Inner planets, aspects and houses matter most. Then outer planets and their aspects (and outer houses). Then the biggest asteroids or cosmic points such as Chiron, BML, Vertex, Pars Fortunae, etc. Then smaller asteroids and fixed stars for specifics. Asteroids and cosmic points are used for specifics.

So the specifics of Chiron are related to mythology. Essentially, Chiron is astrology portrays trauma, abandonment, pain, selflessness and gifts/purpose. Chiron was the centaur who was abandoned by his mother, he was a healer, shot by an arrow that wasn't meant for him—he was unable to heal his own wounds and begged to be switch places with Prometheus, where he got his liver gnawed upon by vultures every day. It would grow back over night. For eternity. Essentially, Chiron is what you could call purpose or dharma. Chiron is your duty and responsibility, it is the healer who could not heal himself. His purpose was to heal others, it was his gift.

In my experience, it depends largely on the direction of Chiron. Retrograde in Astrology means the energy turns inwards, so I see retrograde Chiron as a purpose of inside work whereas direct Chiron tends to be an external purpose, which can still have to do with the self but the energy is less reflexive and tends to be less troublesome/'slow'. Chiron R is an inner gift to relieve the inner burden, Chiron D is an inner gift to relieve an outer burden. That's how I'd see it.

I don't think there's such a thing as bad aspect, necessarily. Although it's true that harsh aspects come with tensions, they also come with gifts that are much more intense and a sense of duality.

Chiron opposite the Moon: emotions/the emotional self is seen as an enemy due to traumas or the ego. Difficulty accepting certain emotions (both internally, from the self and externally, from others). Can feel or be taught at an early age by experience that they're not allowed to feel certain emotions or at all. Emotions tend to be suppressed, overly protective of the self and deepest darkest parts. Gift lies in overcoming emotions, talking it through, therapy, etc. Their story can give them power, instead of overpowering them.

Chiron opposite Ascendant: Physical scars that are associated with traumas or 'bad' stories/memories. Look tired or wounded, almost as if they're always carrying their heart on their sleeve in a way that you know they're hurt. Depending on the rest of the chart, they will or won't talk about this. Traumas relating to appearance or how the native comes across, ex. Maybe everyone finds them intimidating or no one likes them so they feel unlovable and don't know what's wrong with them. They may seek for external reasons, such as appearance. They may also have been bullied for their appearance (voice, demeanor). They could seem wounded and very closed off, at the same time they have a gift of taking care of and standing up for the underdog.

Chiron square Mercury: Quick thoughts and rationalization. Extreme opinions and high intuition. Can retain information quickly and truly thrive in the right environment. Sharp mental faculties, makes for a good motivational speaker or speaker/writer in general. They can use their story for their purpose.

I could keep going but I'll give these basics: Chiron shows a wound but Chiron also shows a solution that will break you and then make it better. Chiron is courage, it doesn't feel good. It only feels good when it's done and it bears its fruits. Not everyone uses their 'gift' traditionally, some don't break their cycles and that too is okay. To me the person you described sounds like they have a lot of talent. They're very innovative, perhaps artistic or good at improvising? They sound like they're good with words, or at the very least have a very quick mind and capability to use their words in a way that just works for them. On a subconscious level, they have very intense and deep emotions that they suppress because of said intensity. They may use their logic or rationality as a defense mechanism. Self-critical, overly self-aware. That's what it sounds like to me. However, the inconjunct shows that these traumas, these wounds, are used as gifts. Chiron is learning, Saturn is application. I don't think this person has an easy route, but it's theirs and it looks very interesting to me. Of course, all of this is dependant on the chart... But I hope this gave you more insight!

Thank you for your question.

[bettsfic]

Hello i hope you are doing well! I was just wondering if you had any advice re: writing kissing/sex/etc scenes effectively without making it sound super clinical and "insert tab x into slot y"? I know there's a balance to be struck between writing out all the physical bits vs what your audience actually needs to get the gist of the scene, and you do it so well in your writing.

sorry for the delay answering this! first i’d like to direct you to @star-sky-earth‘s tips for good sex writing. truly, she is the master of smut, and her breakdown is better than anything i can tell you. 

here are some big-picture thoughts i have about sex writing, in no particular order:

recently i’ve been asking myself of the purpose and function of sex scenes. when i started writing, every sex scene de facto had to be pornographic, with the intention of reader arousal. over the last several years i’ve really stepped down from that idea, because most of the time i’m writing sex scenes to 

unveil character 

increase or release romantic/sexual tension

explore some facet of sexual identity and intimacy.

with that in mind, i haven’t necessarily been artfully describing throbbing cocks or slick folds lately. i’m more interested in the lead-up and consequences of a sexual interaction between characters. i’ve been practicing what i call the gloss-over and fade-to-black, where i either summarize the scene or skip it entirely. it felt a little bit like a self-betrayal the first time i did it, because i always like to read sex scenes even if i’m not reading them as porn. i’ve been playing with a “less is more” approach to sex. 

in original writing, particularly literary writing, i think smut can sometimes be a hard sell (see: taking years to publish my short stories, which are all very, uh, porny). i had to practice writing sex as exactly how you put it, insert tab x into slot y. i think there’s something to be said for sex writing that is the opposite of pornographic, but also isn’t cringe, you know? like writing sex that is an honest and loving portrayal of the act. sometimes i think that’s hotter than throbbing cocks and slick folds. by that i mean, keeping the sex scene exactly the same sort of narration as the rest of the story, just another thing that happens in a greater conflict (pwp notwithstanding). 

in a romance, sex or the first kiss is the highest-stakes moment. it’s the scene where characters are the most vulnerable. the greatest stakes most stories are capable of are creation and destruction. creation being sex, in either a literal baby-making way, or a metaphorical “creating a relationship together” kind of way. destruction being, of course, death. romances and comedies tend to end in creation; tragedies in destruction. so the first kiss, the first time having sex, and the wedding are all narratively emblematic of one of the greatest possible stakes. death and failure fall at the opposite end of the spectrum.

so, with all that said, i think sex writing very much comes down to the sentence-level construction. here are some smaller-scale thoughts:

in terms of genitalia epithets, personally i’m not fond of any words other than cock, cunt, and clit, with the occasional dick thrown in. i don’t mind other epithets when i read, but i just don’t like them for my own writing. let’s use “cock” as an example. “cock” is a noun, which means it’s either the subject or object of a sentence, which in turn means it’s the thing doing the action or receiving the action (pun, sorry). as the subject, it would be “his cock throbbed.” as the object, it would be, “he touched his cock.” navigating the naming of genitalia is i think one of the hardest (sorry) thing about porn writing. i try to use “cock” et al very sparingly, because when it comes up (sorry) it’s more jarring/surprising. that means i have to construct sentences around nouns which, as you might imagine, is difficult. often, when cock is the object, i’ll refer to it as “himself” instead, which i’m sure has a fancy rhetorical term i can’t think of right now (update: metonym. it’s called a metonym). (and i’m sure some linguist or rhetorician has probably written a whole paper on how problematic it is to refer to genitalia as one’s entire person). for example, “he stroked himself.” out of porn context, you get a very ambiguous image. one can stroke any part of one’s body. however in context, even though it’s not directly stated, we can assume he is, in fact, jerking it. 

generally speaking, in non-porn narration, i’m not fond of adjectives. again, i’m speaking to my own style here, and not prescribing it for others. but it’s taken me a lot of time and thinking to figure out how to construct my own writing style and i made the executive decision to use adjectives somewhat minimally (explaining why is probably a separate post). however, when it comes to sex scenes, i let myself use them a lot, as a treat. adjectives can concisely develop and complicate images. “cock” doesn’t tell me much about what image to conjure. “red, swollen cock wet at the tip” tells me a whole lot about what said cock looks like. here, red and swollen are adjectives and “wet at the tip” is an adjectival phrase. developing images is key to an arousing sex scene. imagery establishes physical response without resorting to “it felt good.” there’s nothing wrong with “it felt good” but if you’re trying to get your reader off, “red, swollen cock wet at the tip” is going to do a better job of it.

now to verbs. verbs are my favorite because they neatly package (sorry) action and imagery together. the word “thrust” conjures a different image than “grind.” both, however, push the scene along. once you establish that the fuckening is happening, you don’t really have to do much else. when you watch porn proper, you get however many minutes of said thrusting, and that’s what, for some people, is alluring. however, in writing, you can’t really write that exactly as it happens. it would be “he thrust. he pulled out. he thrust. he pulled out.” and nobody wants to read that. presumably. maybe someone would dig that, idk.

so instead of “he thrust x100″ or whatever, you use verbs to notate changes in the scene. on a big scale, it would involve changing position. on a smaller scale, it might be, colloquially speaking, “hit the spot that made him see stars.” each change, or verb, is usually increasing the tension to lead to the (literal) climax of the scene. the number and scale of the changes dictates the explicitness and pacing of the scene. the bigger the change in a single verb, the less explicit and shorter your scene will be; the smaller the verbs, the longer and more explicit it becomes. for example, “he got undressed” is different than describing an entire paragraph of removing each article of clothing. “she came” is different than describing each wave of orgasm, etc. which you choose depends entirely on, as i mentioned earlier, the purpose and function of the scene. 

okay so that’s enough about the nitty gritty of sex writing. i’d be remiss to spend so much time theorizing about sentence-level construction without giving you an activity or exercise as practice. so here’s how you might start out writing a sex scene if you’re totally lost. please note, this is not a rule, or even a guideline. it’s an experiment to help you get words on a page so you can revise it into something better.

try out a paragraph with a sentence of each of the following, in this order:

action: character A does something to character B 

reaction: character B reacts (moan, crying out, etc.)

image: dependent on what POV character is seeing, but the point is to pause in the action to describe something

repeat

if you stick to this too closely, you’ll definitely sound clinical, but also if you keep this pattern in mind, at least you’ll get a scene down. when you go to revise, you can move things around, throw in some dialogue, and most importantly, internal narration. internal narration during the sex scene is the key to moving forward whatever the actual plot of the story is (if applicable). 

god i hope this makes sense. if it doesn’t, feel free to drop back in and ask for clarification. anyway, happy porning! 

[swimfuel]

okay humanstuck thoughts under the cut

i owe a lot of this to @/rhythmic-idealist's kankri/vantasposting bc holy shit theyve got such a big brain (ill link to their individual posts when im on desktop since im using this to keep all my thoughts straight and i agree with most of what they say wholeheartedly)

general status quo stuff:

signless works in an extremely demanding career involving helping others (i'm leaning towards an attorney who works with organizations and does pro bono work), and is also extensively involved in social justice work outside of his job... he is very rarely home

he loves and cares for his children deeply and tries to express it whenever they're face to face, but the couch in his cramped and messy office has seen far too much use over the years for him to have been able to say it enough

his habits of working himself to the point of exhaustion are handily passed down to his kids btw

the kids had to grow up quickly because signless was out of the house so often and so consistently—kankri, who was already pretty high-strung, has to learn to take care of himself and karkat

they grow up near ms firuzeh maryam, who's their pseudoaunt/grandma (she took in a nine year old kavana vantas when she was about twenty), but they just call her ms rosa

they spent a lot of time in the maryam house growing up, with miss rosa's two nieces. porrim is a year older than kankri, while kanaya and karkat are the same age

kankri grows kinda sensitive to people trying to mother him since it rubs against the notion that he's the "adult of the house" and that he can take care of himself and karkat just fine

(and it also kinda underlines the fact that kankri has no idea what he's doing at the best of times)

and ironically enough, kankri becomes overbearing and naggy towards karkat in his own right, which forestalls them becoming close in any brotherly sort of way

they grow up really just... unable to communicate with one another clearly

karkat develops his ornery exterior in response to kankri's constant stream of opinions and frantic attempts at making up for the presence of a guardian in the house

i think there would actually be some really interesting parallels with rose in this au.. maybe i'm drawing from my own experiences as well but i think he'd begin to assume that every time his brother opens his mouth, he's going to criticize karkat

but instead of reacting like rose with the "making yourself more of a puzzle"/passive aggressive stuff, he gets a more defensive/hackles raised/"argue with you before you can argue with me" approach

and the thing is that they do love each other and would take a bullet for the other etc etc etc.. but they don't know how to express it because they've fallen into these shitty patterns

and it really doesn't help that kankri has grown somewhat resentful of signless over the years... that mix of resentment and fear and love gets more extreme and more polar every time signless gets injured during a political demonstration

i think kankri and signless would also be slightly closer than karkat and signless, as signless' job really only started to ramp up when karkat was less than years old and kankri was in his early double digits

kankri autistic btw its word of god (i am god)

karkat has a pet crab. its name is also karkat. he vents his frustrations to it.

i feel like the vantases exemplify both the best and worst parts of their aspects with one another as well... the strength of their bonds keeps them together and grounded, but TOO grounded. [insert Blood rant here]

the Blood rant:

i define Blood as bonds, responsibility, and the "core". if Life is the fertile soil and everything living on a planet's surface, then Blood is the gravitational core of the planet keeping everything together

i also think Blood, Heart, & Mind work in tandem to define a person just as blood serves to connect the pieces of the human body... Heart is the soul and the self, Mind is the application of one's self through active choices (agency), while Blood defines both the self and the choices one makes in greater detail [and, as an aside, Life provides the physical spark of life needed to keep the heart pumping blood]

OKAY wow that got tangential anyways

SO BASICALLY! too much Blood makes you stagnate, so for example:

kankri is split between staying home with karkat or going to college across the country and being truly unbound for the first time in years

another crisis of Blood: signless is caught between his empathy and responsibility to the whole world and his responsibility to his own children

okay so here's more status quo stuff:

the maryam and vantas kids grow up together and its hilarious because you'll see them all together and its just like (girlboss) (girlboss) (physical manlet) (emotional manlet)

the maryam girls are actually miss rosa's nieces but she took them in when they were both pretty young

the pyropes know the vantases well enough considering pyrope senior and sign have known one another from their respective legal practices for years, but they live on the other side of town

the leijons lived in town when kankri and meulin were very young, but they moved and travelled for a long time before coming back and reestablishing their roots

the captors (psii being one of sign's oldest and closest friends) move into town with the peixes family pretty early on though

the condesce is.. a horrible spouse and guardian, to put it plainly. she's very emotionally manipulative and isn't averse to smacking people around, including her own family. she moves herself and her perfect little family into town so she can properly oversee a new business venture close by

feferi is one of the best young swimmers in the country and has a pretty good shot of getting onto the olympic team.. a lot of this drive to be perfect and to be better results from the condesce's unrelenting pressure and thinly veiled resentment throughout her whole life

so yeah psii, )(ic, feferi, and sollux all live together and it's really not great for anyone involved. (meenah ran away years ago, and crashed on aranea's couch for a pretty long while—mituna moved out with latula for college before psii and the condesce got married)

it gets bad to the point of sollux staying with the maryams for two months while the adults try to sort out that absolute clusterfuck and get the divorce proceedings going (meenah finally convinces feferi to get out and come stay with her and aranea for the duration as well)

in terms of relationships i think latula and porrim were really really close in high school, and probably had some kind of unacknowledged thing going on for a while that never actually turned into anything because latula and mituna were going steady

kankri has had a crush on latula for years but never acted on it for similar reasons

meenah still carries a lot of that give no fucks attitude (it's developed moreso as a defense mechanism here) and can't understand why feferi refuses to leave the condesce with her

okay back to VANTAS MANPAIN i also think that karkat feels the weight of a lot of expectations on his shoulders as well

he feels responsible to live up to the example his dad and his brother set, even if it's to his own detriment—and kankri's oblivious rambling about his grades and his teachers and all his clubs certainly aren't helping the matter

kankri is one of those overinvolved kids taking a million AP's while simultaneously shitting on the collegeboard at every single step

hes this super overachiever anal retentive perfectionist type dude and (just as karkat preemptively criticizes others to forestall their criticisms of him only to harshly criticize himself) kankri subconsciously holds the people around him to the same expectations he holds for himself

so karkat also develops this sense of lacking which, in combination with everything else, culminates in self loathing and thinking he has to solve everyone else's problems and getting horribly mad at himself for every little mistake

GOD i have a lot more but lemme post this before i accidentally close out of the app and lose it all

more little details:

vriska's mom and terezi's mom HATE each other like HATE HATE HATE one another it's so bad

karkat wrote a ten page review of my immortal in middle school

jade is one of nepeta's best online friends

sollux can't raise one eyebrow at a time.. karkat gives him so much grief about it

the vantases eat a lot of shitty renditions of persian dishes until karkat learns to cook because literally the only person in the world with a CHANCE of getting KANKRI VANTAS to make an EDIBLE DISH is miss rosa

kanaya is really good at persian dance too but is VERY VERY embarassed to perform in front of people.. however porrim definitely is not

karkat has insomnia while kankri just stays up stupidly late for assignments that really shouldnt be taken that seriously.. but they both have the same rumination/sleep anxiety thing where your brain goes insane with horrible and depressing scenarios as you try to sleep

and more ideas that i thought were interesting but idk how to fit in the context of this au:

signless and disciple getting married pretty late in life after having been in love for years, the vantases move in with the leijons and karkat suddenly has two sisters

nepeta and karkat are both juniors at this point, meulin is probably in her third year at a local college nearby while kankri is about to start his second year at a university pretty far away

the kids in general honestly but ill figure it out

more random hcs this time with kids:

kanaya and rose get into a flame war online that gradually settles into elaborate courtship rituals

also nepeta + jade online besties

also bec can inexplicably still teleport

the first sbahj movie comes out and the next six months of dave strider junior's high school career are absolute hell

actually hc that dave senior goes by d strider professionally. the d stands for a lot of things

aradia and dave frequent a lot of the same forums but never end up really interacting

meanwhile karkat and john frequent a lot of the same forums and DEFINITELY end up interacting. this turns into grudging (at least on karkat's part) friendship after they find themselves fighting for their lives defending an objectively shitty movie together on the same thread

[chemicalpink]

Hey, I hope you are doing good this was a thing that was wondering me so there are lot of bts future spouse /soulmate/twinflame videos being made on youtube and honestly everyone is being psychic like it has become a shitshow and what was previously just for curiosity fun and entertainment are becoming extremely emotionally invested in the topic especially for maknae line soulmate it would be interesting if the can do a tarot reading or your spiritual experience why is the future spouse saga turning ugly and does universe what us to know something through it !? Because it's becoming pretty crazy right now

Okay so I believe that yes, the spiritual part has a lot to do behind this occurrence, but I also think its roots lay on psicosocial matters and honestly I could go on for days about this but I’ll try to restrict it to a few points that you’ve mentioned

Why all of a sudden everyone seems to be tarot readers/astrologers/psychic?

The capitalism behind celebrities and how does that play a part in what is going on?

Are these people accurate at all?

How does energy shifting play a part in this?

Is the soulmate journey even something a third person would be able to note?

But first a Disclaimer: this opinion/rant is based on my experience with spirituality, I am obviously a mere mortal, so I do not hold the absolute truth. Spirituality is a constant learning process and it is open to discussion and interpretation of each person. I am also now a proud sociologist graduate that specialises in a lot of the stuff that has to do with what anon is asking, I’m a social behaviouralist applied to the entertainment industry as well but I’ll also provide my resources in the end.

A/N: Some of you might not yet be ready to read all of this, if I see ANY of you trying to start beef with me, even after the disclaimer, I'm gonna block you. If you want to talk more about it or want to discuss it further, DO SO OFF ANON. ISTG you’ve been warned, I’ve been working on this for the longest time, it even has resources to back all of it up! I’m so glad anon asked, I’m done being diplomatic on this topic (I know people that usually ask stuff are so respectful and i love you guys for it, this note is for those people that regularly jump on my asks to stir things up)

You guys are in for a whole academic article if you decide to read this

SO FUN AND EXCITINGGGG Let us start with behavioural economics as our base to understand the whole phenomenon, it's such a broad and kinda complex concept (especially since I’m trying to extrapolate it to this particular scenario) so let me do my best. It has a lot to do with trend following, although at least to me, it's unclear how exactly this content came to be (soulmate readings, channeling messages, etc) I am guessing it had something to do with an intersectionality between the general spirituality boom that we’ve met with during the pandemic and some person that just as any other marketable opportunity, saw a bridge between fandom life and this spiritual life (both prominent trends in the last two years or so) and honestly, it worked perfectly, whatever their initial intentions were, they threw out a new “product” and it kind of sold itself, two different trends coming together… turned into a behavioural game theory where if you played the part that allows your content to be consumed, you’ll get rewarded for it. In more simple words, tarot meets fandoms (alternatively, tarot meets BTS) is great as it is! but the fan behaviour (which we’ll talk about in a bit) positions the most private parts of the celebrities’ lives to be much more interesting than things that we are already able to see (personal experience, love readings do so much better than idk career readings and it all comes down to behavioural trends of perceiving ‘love’ as something very intimate)

Now, this is where we’ll begin to talk about capitalism as a whole, even in non-monetary systems like social media, where it takes more of a rewarding system via likes, views, reblogs, etc. The whole principle of us living in such a system is being aspirational, we see others profiting off of something, we might want to reach out and do the same so we can profit ourselves, which honestly, I think is what happened with the whole BTS soulmate readings boom, they get a lot of attention, and as a basic market law, as demand goes up and a few people that initially did these readings are no longer capable to satisfy the need of the people wanting to know all the tea, there are market opportunities for other people to do the same thing and increase the offer, although since this whole theory is behavioural, it is very context-dependant, which ends up not following the principle of the consumers being rational about how much and what content they consume, they just sort of consume all of it, regardless of whether the content creator is qualified to offer such content or not, which ultimately only adds onto a never ending cycle of more people claiming they are tarot readers/astrologers/psychics and fear nothing because this is the internet, you don't really have to enter any qualifications to be able to create content, whether someone is reliable in internet terms is basically all about how many likes they’ve got (which is why I always tell you guys to please consume content responsible).

When it comes to accuracy- I guess that’s the hardest part of all, we can’t just have pointers that would automatically tells us if someone’s craft is valid or not, since everyone’s craft is different all craft is valid to a certain extent (you can easily find scammers of course but that’s another story) what we can have are personal standards and deciding what content to consume or whose content to consume, but that’s entirely a personal decision and since so many people are invested in it- it seems really hard that these “market tendencies” might change any time soon. On that same note of accuracy, I really feel the need to talk about a major occurrence I’ve come across in this whole soulmate scene, minors. Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a minor and approaching spirituality (I was very much a minor when I started) but there’s a huge difference between just playing around and deciding to create content for the whole world to have access to. Of course I’m aware not all tarot readers in the BTS fandom are minors, and ARMY is very diverse and even if they were only minors it would be wrong to invalidate them, but we can’t ignore the statistics of it when touching this particular topic, according to 2020 data, 50,31% of ARMY are below 18 years old, and 42,59% are between 18-29 but why is this important? because the exact historical and economic moment we are living in mainly impacts these two age groups, thus making all 92,90% of ARMY a potential target to consuming or falling in a behavioural game theory of creating this content without them necessarily being qualified for it. But hey, why do you keep talking about the importance of being qualified? Glad you asked, creating spiritual content all comes down to one amazing term: accountability.

And this will explore two main phases of it, one applicable for that 50,31% that could potentially be drawn to create spiritual content and other for the 42,59% that could potentially be dragged to creating that content without much spiritual knowledge. For the first one, it has a lot to do with cognitive aspects, young people tend to do stuff without much further thought about how their actions impact other people, which, as they should, they are kids, they shouldn’t have to worry too much about emotional responsibility as us adults do, furthermore, they are in life stages where they can’t really comprehend many abstract concepts that we later learn in life, and spirituality is one of those concepts, so they tend to just have fun with it with no regards on how their content might impact other minors (this is where the whole feeding a false scenario that is potentially delusional in exchange of more views, likes comes into play) on a more spiritual level, they also aren’t able to comprehend the boundaries of the celebrities they’re reading for, us readers have to always be careful about the information we give out since it is not ours to give. As for the second group, some of this is still applicable since theorists consider a full cognitive maturity until 23 years of age, but since it is very intersectional itself, i would found it more to a spiritual responsibility, since they are young adults, and if they haven’t been spiritually guided as kids, they’re most probably eager to learn and just awakening yet to some of them the drive to this spirituality is content creation instead of inner work, so they get their hands on a tarot deck, might kind of read a few things, call it a day and start reading for BTS (note: not all of them, I’m aware)

As for the maknae line being the most sought out people with this content, I guess it kinda makes sense now that I’ve said all of the information above, maknae line is closest to the age group of 92,90% of ARMY, so they instantly become more marketable to this content creation and the whole Game Theory that we are seeing. With all that being said, and just adding a note coming from my own spiritual experience, soulmates in any form are a difficult topic for a third person to prode, which is why I, personally, tend to not touch that topic, love is one hell of a concept, especially since we all have different conceptions of love and interpersonal relationships. I do know for a fact that there’s only so far we can go in terms of fated connections, like with astrology, but even then, we would have to know their birth times exactly (so we can check for any indicator or a soulmate connection), and/or compare BTS with the rest of the world’s population in order to accurately tell if someone has a soulmate synastry/overlay/composite with them. Also, soulmate journeys are intimate and we are all just fans, what right do we even have to look for things that do not and will never belong to us?

This is why I’m always telling you guys to PLEASE consume content responsibly! Really! Us content consumers also have our part to play that can help us get more accurate, more drama-free content

REFERENCES (what? you thought I was joking? they’re in alphabetical order)

ARMYCENSUS 2020

Loewenstein, G., O’Donoghue, T., & Rabin, M. (2003). Projection bias in predicting future utility. Quarterly Journal of Economics, 118(4), 1209-1248.

March, J. G. (1978). Bounded rationality, ambiguity, and the engineering of choice. The Bell Journal of Economics, 9(2), 587-608.

Markus, H. R., & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the self: Implications for cognition, emotion and motivation Psychological Review, 98, 224-253.

Mazar, N., Amir, O., & Ariely, D. (2008). The dishonesty of honest people: A theory of self-concept maintenance. Journal of Marketing Research, 45(6), 633-644.

Murphy, S. T., & Zajonc, R. B. (1993). Affect, cognition, and awareness: Affective priming with optimal and suboptimal stimulus exposures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 723-729.

Samson, A., & Voyer, B. (2014). Emergency purchasing situations: Implications for consumer decision-making. Journal of Economic Psychology, 44, 21-33.

Schwartz, B. (2004). The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York: Ecco.

Shah, A. K., & Oppenheimer, D. M. (2008). Heuristics made easy: an effort-reduction framework. Psychological Bulletin, 134(2), 207-222.

Thaler, R. H. (2015). Misbehaving: The making of behavioral economics. Allen Lane.

Thaler, R. H. (2008). Mental accounting and consumer choice. Marketing Science, 27, 15-25.

Wood, W., & Neal, D. T. (2009). The habitual consumer. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 19, 579-592.

[miskatonique]

HERBERT WEST CHEAT SHEET !

since my muses are not super well known in the contemporary rpc ( and i’m too lazy to do a full about page at this very moment ) i decided to put together little posts for them that give their general backgrounds, vibes, and plot possibilities !

this is a mix of canon and headcanon, and these are subject to change / adapt as i get more used to writing the characters

BACKGROUND:

Films: Re-Animator 1985, Bride of Re-Animator 1990, Beyond Re-Animator 2003

We don’t talk about Beyond Re-Animator......

Dr. Herbert West, 24 in the first movie, 27 in the second movie, idk like 40 in the third movie. Mad scientist to the MAX. In the novelization Herbert is an orphan who gets passed around in foster homes before eventually going to undergrad at NYU and pursuing his theory about the re-animation of dead tissue. Mostly people think he’s sort of crazy until one of his articles catches the eye of Dr. Hans Gruber at a university in Switzerland, and he invites Herbert to come work alongside him. Herbert eventually grows to respect Gruber as both a mentor and father-figure.

Herbert and Gruber develop a reagent that affects re-animation in dead animal tissue but they know that for their results to be taken seriously they need to do a human trial. Dr. Gruber volunteers but the dosage of the reagent is too large, and though it brings Gruber back to life it quickly overwhelms his system and he dies again. Herbert is taken into psychiatric custody in Switzerland but is eventually released.

Herbert returns to America and specifically sets his sights on Miskatonic Medical School in Arkham, Massachusetts because one of the staff, Dr. Carl Hill, used to work with Gruber years ago, and even went on to plagiarize some of Gruber’s work and publish it in America. Herbert makes it his secondary goal to absolutely terrorize Dr. Hill, and because he’s a chaotic gremlin in human form he’s very good at it.

Herbert continues working on perfecting the reagent, rooming with Dan Cain and eventually pulling Dan into the experiments as well when Dan’s cat dies and Herbert is able to prove his research by reanimating it. Herbert isn’t perturbed when Dan’s talk with Dean Halsey goes south, and just digs his heels in and insists that the only way to truly prove that the reagent works is to reanimate a human cadaver.

Results are just as bad as you’d expect. Sure, the cadaver reanimates but it also wrecks the morgue and kills Dean Halsey. RIP. Herbert insists that they reanimate him and the dean comes back less like himself and more animalistic, trying to kill both Herbert and Dan before his daughter Meg shows up and stops him. Despite it all, Herbert manages to wriggle his and Dan out of any suspicion from the police but Dr. Hill takes an interest in Herbert’s work once he does exploratory surgery of Dean Halsey and finds out he’s technically dead.

Dr. Hill confronts Herbert in his laboratory and threatens to steal Herbert’s work and take it for his own, offering Herbert the meager honour of being his assistant. Herbert promptly murders Hill via decapitation but decides not to let his fresh corpse go to waste and reanimates both Hill’s head and his body, which come back to life and knock Herbert out and steal all of his work.

Yada yada, Herbert gets Dan to help him go after Hill, the big climax happens. Herbert is able to prove his theory about overdose by shooting up Dr. Hill’s headless body with a bunch of reagent, which backfires and Herbert is left for dead all tangled up in Hill’s intestines, but not after he ensures that his research is safe with Dan.

They never explain how Herbert survives the first movie but he sure is alive in the second movie! It’s roughly 3ish years after the first film, so he’s got his doctorate now and he’s drug Dan all the way to Peru so they can be volunteer medics in a civil war. This obviously gives Herbert an unprecedented access to fresh bodies for his experiments.

Eventually he and Dan head back to Miskatonic Hospital, where they’re able to get jobs and a creepy cute little house that used to be a mortuary so they can continue the work. Herbert is now obsessed with the reanimation of separate parts and convinces Dan to help him build an entirely new life from parts. Dan’s not on board until Herbert shows him Megan Halsey’s heart and promises that they’ll build the body around it.

Dr. Hill’s head also somehow survived the first movie and it tries to terrorize Herbert, along with a cop who’s investigating Herbert for stealing corpses. Herbert eventually kills and reanimates the cop, and then gets into even more trouble when all of the other strange creatures he’s been reanimating start coming after him because they’re being mind controlled by Dr. Hill’s nasty head ( don’t ask me okay, this script was written in literally 6 weeks it makes no sense )

Anyway Herbert and Dan successfully bring their creation to life right before getting attacked by Dr. Hill and his army of weirdos, all while Dan is having a mental breakdown because he thinks the creation is his dead girlfriend Meg. In the chaos Dan and the creation escape separately while Herbert and Hill and co. get trapped under buried rubble and are left for dead ( AGAIN ).

But surprise! Herbert isn’t dead! We don’t know how he survived but we do know that at some point in time Dan turned over evidence to the authorities that led to Herbert’s arrest and imprisonment. The third movie picks up with Herbert who’s been in prison for 13 years and the dumbass new hospital doctor is a fanboy of Herbert and brings in some of his reagent. Herbert basically starts a prison riot, chaos ensues, this movie is Not Good, but the important thing is that Herbert escapes prison with his work and gets to walk off free and definitely alive into the night <3

VIBES / PERSONALITY:

His work is EVERYTHING to him -- there have been multiple times where Herbert has put his work above his own bodily safety or chance of survival, and I guarantee he would do it again, too. Herbert is mostly focused on being able to do the impossible simply because it’s “impossible.” He’s able to convince Dan to help him because he reasons the practical applications of his reagent, like saving lives by aiding in surgeries or helping with amputations, but at the end of the day Herbert is only concerned with discovery, acclaim, and giving classical science a big ‘ole middle finger.

He can be incredibly manipulative when looking for a specific action or behavior in the people close to him. This mostly is seen in how he treats Dan, often reeling him back in with promise of how much good their work will do in the world when Dan starts to get squeamish. Herbert is also really good at finding the sorest spots in someone and pressing on them, but usually only does this when he wants to prove a point or if he really hates someone.

He gains a lot of power by seeming like the more “level-headed” person in an altercation, but he can get extremely excitable or aggressive, especially when something goes well with his research or if it’s being threatened.

He’s genuinely a good doctor, doesn’t freak out under pressure, has neutral-good bedside manner, is very decisive and isn’t afraid to make difficult decisions when it comes to a patient’s life. However, Herbert considers himself a scientist first and a doctor second. The work on reanimation will always come before anything else.

He’s a HUGE fucking nerd, he loves making puns or little zingers whenever he can fit them into a conversation. He also likes playing practical jokes, though he doesn’t do it often. He’s got a great evil giggle.

Oh he’s terrible at taking care of himself. There’s a deleted scene from the first movie where Herbert is shown to be injecting himself with a weakened version of the reanimating reagent because it helps keep his brain sharp and makes it to where he doesn’t have to sleep. What a NUT. I think he probably weans off this habit, by force or choice. His sleeping and eating habits are still pretty bad, though. Definitely the kind of person who doesn’t eat/sleep/rest unless he’s genuinely about to collapse because of it.

Oh he’s also sooooooooooo gay. gay gay gay homo sexual.

There are very few people he outright respects or enjoys spending time around, and with everyone else he is absolutely so bitchy and rude. He doesn’t give a single shit about being polite. Also ACAB.

PLOT POSSIBILITIES:

Got any canonically dead muses? Want them to be alive again? Herbert can help with that! He’ll definitely want to make sure they stick around and observe them to see why the reagent worked so well, maybe do some extra tests, so he can also double as a really annoying, creepy roommate. Score!

Med student muses? I have a new classmate for you

Ever wondered what your muse would do if they saw someone graverobbing, or smuggling body parts into their house in the middle of the night? Do they stop him? Ask questions? Offer to help? Now’s the chance to find out!

He could always use a new assistant since Dan keeps abandoning him after every movie, jfc, loyalty is so hard to find these days

Meet-cute where one of his reanimated creations tries to murder you and he saves you from it <3