#idk im just annoyed i needed to get this out of my system

[purpleshadow-star]

I'm watching this girls review/talk about all of the Percy Jackson books, and tbh I've never seen someone with so little media literary. She's turning me into a Jason Grace defender, and I don't even care for Jason that much.

[nexus-nebulae]

i feel like half of my posts are just hidden from other people's dashes bc like 80% of what i post is just not seen by anyone

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[orcelito]

Me starting fe engage rolling my eyes at animated sequences, hating the voice acting + the overdramatic sprite animations, being taken out of the battle I was enjoying to watch more animated sequences & being like "just Let Me Fight! The Fuck?????"

In other words my engage game is going swimmingly, it seems

[toastsnaffler]

had a very weird dream the place I worked was in the marine exploration industry and I was presenting a review of a deep sea probe we were retiring and then woke up extremely abruptly bc my body started digging my uterus out with a million tiny blunt spoons YOWIEEEEOWWW

[sammygender]

sometimes i see a take and i go. hmmmm. have i thought about this long enough to get across my opinion? no? then i won’t engage. but i’m still a bit annoyed with the take. reblogging is a way to say you agree but there’s no passive way to say you disagree, or agree a little but want to make a little aside. so i just sit there like :/

[prosciuttoon]

Toshiro/Shuro is overhated

(mirror of my thread on twitter)

ever wanted to talk abt something so bad but u have so many thoughts so u cant even begin to organize a sentence. thats me abt shuro and its why i cant give my thoughts on him. i NEED to get this out of my system bc its takign up so much memory in my brain i need that space for thinking.

so i was really surprised to find so much hate for him even tho he seems pretty normal and rational out of the whole cast. ive deducted that its mostly abt his laios fight and that the ppl who hate him probably had bad experiences w social cues and relationships w neurotypicals bc of that. theres no way to avoid it bc its pretty much Right In Your Face that laios is ND. but thats not the only factor in why their relationship is rocky. its also the culture barrier. u have to understand toshiro was raised as JAPANESE NOBILITY ofc he would be a little conservative

also culture shock. idk if u know this but jp culture is very Mind Your Own Business like a lot of other asian cultures . ofc hes gonna be weirded out by a stranger invading his space. also his names not even Shuro. its just yt ppl not pronouncing his name right and settling for whats easiest.

img src: fan translation by savaralyn2 , i think its from the adventurers bible Complete Edition bc i dont remember it in the old one

ok you get the gist of the culture aspect of it. lets go into the ND/NT clash aspect of it. yes i understand its pretty hurtful to never be told when youre acting inappropriately. i am autistic too lmao. but you have to understand that shiro is one guy and he even does realize that repressing things is one of his fatal flaws. again. asian culture. non confrontational. that sorta thing. but these are genuine frustrations. if i were him id be annoyed too but id speak out about it. set boundaries. bc im blunt. shiros not. he was taught crazy strict manners (hierarchies, respect, politeness, etc).

his problem isnt ableism its a culmination of culture barriers, how he was raised to behave, and terrible lack of communication as thing caused by "all of the above" plus he just generally keeps to himself a lot which means repressing frustrations that will explode leading to a pathetic fistfight while hes starved, exhausted, and dehydrated. also. if he was ableist he would hate laios. he doesnt hate laios. at the end of the day, they are friends. NT and ND ppl can be friends u know. there will be rifts (like their fight) but you just have to communicate misunderstandings. theyre gonna be fine lol

anyways that was my whole spiel abt it. i think i got everything out that i wanted to? my head still feels a little full so i may add more later when i remember something

also i think its a little unfair to rule out the possibility of laios and him just being 2 very different kinds of ND bc its very common for misunderstandings to occur even then. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT BUT WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! but for the sake of interpreting the Fight as a commentary on NT social rules and ND frustration, ill say toshiros NT. will we ever know? hes so far in the sidelines... youd really have to dig in the extra content to see the intricacies of his character.... please give him a chance

[superspecial-awesome]

s0 queerosexual hcs. for pride month

basically my interpretation of the cast in this regard is that theyre a bunch of annoying queer teenagers who will never discover this about themselves because they live in 1990s japan and all think there's only gay and straight and that being the former is grounds to be beaten in the streets

Yugi: the only one who has his shit figured out. transmasc and bi and he plans on taking that to his grave. he has a strong preference for women though so that part never really comes up. "attracted to every woman ever and one guy i met at a gas station six years ago" disease. also bonus points anzu knows he's transmasc and helped him figure out binding and shit

Miho: huge lesbian but "oh no it's just that girls are objectively more attractive than guys everyone knows that, i just haven't met the right man yet, besides every girl wishes they could date women instead that's why bakura is so popular it's because he looks like a woman." I also like to imagine that in an ideal world, she'd fuck with genderfluidity

Bakura: aroace and agender transfem. he gives me he/it/any vibes. I think partly due to The Mega Autism he never really understood the deal with traditional masculinity so he feels disconnected from manhood as a whole and would be a lot more comfortable being able to exist as something entirely detached from gender. I also think the swarms of girls at all times made him view women as some sort of other species entirely and he's got a lot of deep-rooted misogyny going on about it, but tbh anzu and miho could fix him. and make him into the vague girlthing he always was

Anzu: Idk what label to slap onto her but I don't think physical appearance or gender plays any role in her being attracted to people at all. maybe like demiromantic asexual. but i dont think demi is the term im looking for. definitely ace though.

Honda: "WOW I LOVE BEING A MAN I LOVE WOMEN AND RULES AND ORDER I DON'T AT ALL FEEL LIKE I'M CURSED TO FIT MYSELF INTO A BOX THAT'S TOO SMALL FOR ME" and he believes that wholeheartedly and then wonders why he needs to constantly prove himself over things that don't matter to avoid his mental health crumbling to dust. I don't think he's trans though I just think he needs to chill out. also he's bi and poly and the single most useless hopeless romantic ever.

Jonouchi: bi but i think his refusal to accept that as a possibility has made him very aware of a lot of other things he has going on psychologically. like his homophobia has somehow made him a more self-aware and chill person. "honda put his hand on my shoulder for more than 0.5 seconds and my entire nervous system took a screenshot does this mean im g--wait no im just touched starved huh i wonder if that has ever impacted my poor decision making in the past." also him being used for the cartoon standard "guy wears girl clothes and likes it" joke is grounds for me to hc him as genderqueer. I could absolutely see him getting really into fem presentation.

Yami Yugi: gay gay homosexual gay

Kaiba: transfem in the super dysphoric way but will absolutely never find this out because any time she becomes remotely aware of something bothering her about herself she just looks in the mirror and says "no." i also wanna say arospec and aspec but idk she's fully either. i think if i wanted to give you an accurate idea of how attraction works for her i'd have to pull up the homestuck quadrants and i'm not joking.

Yami Bakura: agender is a way that's like "dude I'm a ghost in a ring who cares." If you called him a she he'd be like "what" and then after you got two words into explaining he'd go "nvm I underestimated the amount of shit I don't give about this." His sexuality is no time for dat goku

[compassionatereminders]

my controversial opinion is just that i get annoyed at how people (my friends included) call everything ableist because it doesn't fit in with their specific needs. like, this nightclub isn't ableist because the music is loud... it's a nightclub. if they turned it down it wouldn't be fun for the majority of people. this thinking exercise about genocide isn't ableist because they didn't account for your RSD, the entire point of the thing was to be upsetting and make you realise how easily genocide can happen. this coffee shop isn't ableist because they shout out the order too loud, they just have to do that to grab the attention of the orderer. also if they said it any quieter my hard of hearing ass woudn't hear it. idk im just getting a little tired of my friend circle calling everything ableist when a) sometimes its just not feasible to think of every accessibility need and b) it's definitely not possible to implement all accessibility needs at the same time

On one hand I agree that ableism is systemic and everywhere, but on the other hand I don't think any and every manifestation of competing access needs is a worthy battle against ableism. Because unfortunately we can't accommodate everyone everywhere at the same time. Disabled people often need wildly different accommodations to thrive, and that means we need a lot of different spaces out there, not that nothing should ever be inaccessible/unpleasant to anyone - because that's an impossible goal

[hydrxnessa]

Heeeyyyy Hydra! How ya feelin after floor 2 dropped?

hiii !!!! this is gonna be a long rant

okok after several playthroughs and gave up n just ended up watching kreekcraft beat it, i got a Lot of thoughts

floor 2 is DEFINITELY difficult but there's no surprise there. the only nitpick i have is the stark difference with the hotel - as in, in the hotel there are a lot of rooms to breathe, like take a quick breather between the chaos that can happen throughout the hotel.

in the mines, there's hardly room to breathe - screech constantly spawns which is def annoying and i feel they should balance it a bit more; there's waayyy less safe rooms (i.e. infirmary, curious' room etc.) and it sorta feels like the backdoor in terms of you need to leave every room like quickly.

i definitely love the update !! i like the new entities, though keep in mind i havent gone past door 50 so im not sure about the halfway point/ending. the new mechanics are nice, i just think there's room for balancing since yes the difficulty is insane.

i think the devs really outdid themselves and red talked about them revamping their whole system and engine(?) so future updates shouldn't take as long as this one

anyways few more spoilers down below, including the ending vv

guiding and curious getting new death screens, it really does feel more personal that these otherworldly beings are speaking to us personally rather than just floating text on a rainy texture. hiii guiding hiii curious :3 :3

hide getting a redesign + new mechanic was something i was not expecting - i thought that odd red entity that was leaked a while ago was a new entity but apparently not. the heartbeat minigame was a cool twist, definitely had to readjust to the new mechanic. getting ambush in the early doors was Not it as an introduction to it though, seeing as you can no longer jump in and out (despite guiding telling me to, unless im doing something wrong) and have to do a minigame that gets more and more difficult the longer you stay in. could be that you have to get out before hide spawns to get back in but idk.

i just didnt like the fact that hide spawns Instantly in later rooms, or that it also happens in the hotel. i'd rather keep the timed closet than the minigame in the hotel tbh, and just make it seem like an enraged version of hide in the mines.

i reaallyyy love eyes new mechanic - it teleporting around instead of just staying in one spot? love that. also the sound it makes is so satisfying.you're doing great sweeties

screech is like. Super annoying. like i get that its his whole thing but theres a slight difference between bearable annoying and frustrating annoying. i think screech spawns waaayy too often especially with a screech and eyes combo. definitely should lower the spawn rate if they want screech to constantly be a threat throughout the mines and not like it only spawns in dark rooms in the hotel.

i loovee what they've done with halt's new hallway. the hotel one especially, its fucking sick and probably one of my favourite rooms. the mines' one is alright, i dont like the meanders but i guess its a switch up to the linear one in the previous floor. i love u halt keep doing what ur doing

the new seek chase was absolutely amazing, i cant believe we can Jump now. new music is banger, lsplash drop the spotify release NEOOWW . only nitpick is the rng of having to crouch right before an intersection, so you cant see where guiding is trying to lead you before its too late. probably a skill issue on me, but so far i havent beat seek chase yet.

next ramblings are gonna be based on kreekcraft's playthrough since i never got past door 50.

new environment in a sewer-like area is pretty cool, nice switchup tbh

ok the grumble entity is Hella cool. bigger giggle, could be like the mother of a hivemind. whatever it is its pretty cool. again, haven't played through it so idk how to counter grumble other than Hide. can you maybe lure it away somewhere? idk. tbh its giving that final bendy boss in dark revival

the whole 'locate the transponder(?) and enter a code then come back' is cool but definitely drags on for WAYY too long even for its size. library probably takes a third of the time it takes to beat this one. though i do like how the main transponder points to where it is.

ok the ending is Absolutely insane. another seek chase sure, in the new environment. then once you go in 100 (or rather, 200), he fills up the Whole place. like jesus christ seek what is your problem. the parkour looks like it feels a bit janky but that's probably a roblox thing. seek can be worm. silly worm. would you still love me if i was a w

the ending ENDING. my god. literally my jaw was open the whole time. leaving through a pipe into the outside, seeing a motherfucking CASTLE???? a CASTLE. dude. WHAT. hotel>mines>castle is a crazy pipeline.

and grumble comes out of the path behind you but not until SEEK shows up and practically suffocates him. i actually think screeches are just giggles. i have a theory. i wnot go into it in this post. BUT I HAVE A THEORY. CALL ME MATPAT.

and once the door closes seek stares you DOWN. definitely gives the main antagonist vibes unlike figure. also what happened to figure is he just stuck in the mines. seek's following us ig.

oh i forgot about figure tbh. sometimes its sections are a bit janky but i think? i think its cus im always in the section where gloombats spawn beforehand, and figure does NOT like the gloombats. also alarm clocks in the hotel's library, its so funny seeing figure run to it, stomp on it and scream. you fucking toddler/aff

overall i feel like the main issue with this floor is difficulty and also how every room feels like it drags onn. like waayyy too long. but overall, cool update, will be playing a lot more later. i Need to beat this damn floor. literally less than 800 people have beaten it.

ANYWAYS. if u reached the bottom, thanks ??? thanks for listening to my dumb ramblings LMAO. doors art to come soon ... though remember i Am mainly an oc art blog so . don't expect a lot. but asks are always open <3

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[crguang]

I feel like there’s a lot of sacrificing for a joke in hsr, which is definitely annoying especially when it just…doesn’t make sense, tonally and just logically. And I really do wish we found out more abt the TB, and I would’ve like even like a tidbit from firefly since we talk to her sm, we even play as her at the end. Or maybe get an offhand mention abt how she’s not supposed to tell us bc of the script or smth . I def agree w you, I cannot take the ipc seriously, bc there’s all this stuff abt how they’re doing stuff for their own benefit and profit but idk the stuff w the stellaron hunters and them is just so goofy, like it doesn’t make any sense.

ok so, I was looking thru ur blog and I realized I sent a message abt two-ish weeks ago, tumblr probably ate it smh. I was just saying how it was silly that Kafka’s wanted poster literally says she likes coats on it, and her bounty, like that’s it. Shes so sjsjshbsbddbbewv. And I also came up with another fic idea, like Kafka in an idol/band AU, but also I think her being an actor w the other stellaron hunters would be funny. But yk if I ever get around to writing anything instead of Kafka just living in my brain, who would she be in a band with, I was think abt using some of the characters from the animated before the show starts thing, but the instruments just don’t go together. Also I think I need to work on writing Kafka in general, bc she’s so complicated and it’s fun but I also overthink things too much.

And the leaks were unfortunately right abt 4 characters on one side. I’m not as devastated as you ofc, but hopefully I win my 50/50. Hjskalskskskndn I will cry if I loose.

also, no need to apologize for ranting, your rants always make more sense than mine, and I really enjoy your thoughts. -🌠

i agree with you 100%!!! missed opportunity with firefly and the tb reconnecting it could have been so nice. and omg i think i read that ask, it sounds familiar but i have so many (most are really old reqs, the recent ones are the event reqs i keep to answer eventually) and sometimes things get lost or i’ll click on the notification, answer in my head, then go do something else and forget to actually post my reply, im sorry😭😭 but YES i was thinking of kafka’s description in the game and while i know its the objective writing of the game and not the ipc, i find it funny to believe that whoever was in charge of her wanted notice thought she was hot as fuck because “dashing” and “beauty” in the same sentence is crazy work. her bounty is even funnier bc im wondering how they found out that she loved coats like😭 did she steal a bunch (she did), are they rlly monitoring her credit card and seeing all the purchases of expensive coats, is she always found in a store— what is it?!

actor au stellaron hunters would be really fun… you could also just put then in a band together for the idol/band au because i do think they’re the people who understand her best. the thought of kafka and jingliu practicing together is so funny because jingliu would hate that woman like GDJFBFNG her arrogance would have liu clenching that instrument so tight

i dont think you should worry about overthinking when it comes to writing, it can be a weakness because then you focus too much on details and forget the big picture, but personally i also think j too much into things when i write characters like kafka especially. when every genuine emotion is in the twitch of a finger, there’s kinda no choice lol

“im not as devastated as you” is killing me but its true… im the biggest victim of this banner system bc if i dont get my swanie i’ll @)&$(&)@)£<£#%. i hope u win the 50/50, unless i lose mine in which case i hope everyone else also loses <3

[cometcrystal]

okay i have to tell you guys about the absolute piece of shit day i've had. buckle in. or don't. you probably have better shit to do than read this. i've color coded it for your convenience

so to start with, there have been consistent issues about the other two tellers not greeting customers/doing as much as me. i consistently had hundreds more transactions than both of them and i was the only one trying to push the promotion shit. so there was a meeting on tuesday telling them that they need to start putting in the effort. my manager was PISSED

so That c*worker either does not absorb this information, or her lack of a filter just starts working against her. because we had a situation the very next day where she didn't greet a customer when they came in, and made a comment under her breath about it. like "manager was doing this other thing, that's why she didn't hear me greet them" and i snitched on her because im a rat who hates her and my manager was like that's it i'm moving you guys around. (because part of the issue is that my window is the first one people see when they walk in due to how the building is, and the other teller's is like. in a corner)

so we get a message from the manager in the group gmail chat this morning saying dott and other teller will be swapping desks this evening at 4pm.

MEANWHILE. the closest branch to us has been down for more than a day now. they are not able to operate at all. so they sent their tellers to the branches closest to their houses to work at today so they're not just sitting around. the one that is sent to our branch is someone who NONE of us like. like my manager had an argument with HER boss earlier because she was like we don't fucking want her here with her piss-poor attitude.

so the whole day all she does is COMPLAIN. as soon as she gets here, she complains about getting put in the drive thru (when its literally the ONLY open teller box we had). she complains about not having the pink finger stuff. etc etc. she's just a miserable person to be around.

and another annoying thing is that she was at a third, DIFFERENT branch for well over a decade that closed down recently, whose customers we received at our branch. and they all recognized her from THAT branch and were like OHH LOOK ITS (NAME) WE LOVE YOU (NAME) ARE YOU HERE PERMANENTLY NOW??? so that's just fucking obnoxious to hear all day

these two issues come to a head at 4pm. i begin trying to wrangle That c*worker into swapping our boxes because it's a really fucking annoying process. and idk how to explain to you guys what it's like to work with her. but she doesn't fucking listen to anything. and she has no filter. and she just keeps talking.

so i count into her box and she's out of balance, over $1000. the guest teller does a trial balance, and she's SHORT $1000. so the two of them start chattering about how to fix it. and im like OKAY LETS JUST COUNT MY BOX AND MAKE SURE I'M GOOD AND WE'LL GO FROM THERE. i have to try this 3 times.

so they try and fix it, and they do it wrong, and now theyre both $2000 out of balance in opposite directions. at this point my manager comes out to try and help. she has asked That c*worker MULTIPLE TIMES to stop talking so she can think it through. because when u fix a buy/sell, it's always the opposite way of what you think it is. so she pulls me aside for us to try and talk it through before we process anything else on the system. That c*worker tries to talk to her again and my manager makes a loud buzzing AH-AH noise at her. which i loved.

it takes us 45 minutes to get our boxes swapped. this whole time, the guest teller asks multiple times, visibly annoyed, "can i get some help over here?" "is someone gonna help me?" WHEN THE 3RD NORMAL TELLER IS LITERALLY BUSTING HER ASS

did i mention we are FUCKING BUSY?????? we're getting the down branch's customers in addition to our own so we've got people in the lobby and people wrapped around the building in the drive thru. but everyone is doing ALL THEY CAN. if she would just shut her fucking mouth and DO THE TRANSACTIONS she could have made a dent in the crowd easier while me and That c*worker were tied up.

and THEN guest teller says "this probably should have been done on a monday morning or something" and i said "well you'll have to take it up with (manager)". i report this comment to my manager once everyone else had left for the day and i think it made her snap because she immediately started saying cusses and swears and went to her computer to write an email.

today was very dense.

[butwhatifidothis]

Help me, i've been looking at bleach stuff again and suddenly feel that i was too harsh on the thousand year blood war when it first published, and now im desperately scrounging for good byakuya/hisana content.

so with that in mind, what do ya think about the sternritter in bleach? personally i've always felt that for all the cool aesthetics and powers at play, they're just a bit too unsympathetic/monsterous in terms of character writing that it hurts a lot of the drama of the tybw. But also recently I have considered how that was arguably the point in terms of ywach creating an army of metaphorical and literal monsters because the value of their lives mattered so little to him that all he looked for was strength. which... seems somewhat obvious in retrospect but still. idk, i guess all these years later bambiettas fate still unnerves me. and i wasn't even much of a fan of her until all that happened to her.

You asking this on the SAME DAY that I bought six zanpakuto at a con is HILARIOUS timing lmao

The Sternritter are in a sort of weird spot for me. There was always a hint of sympathy from me to them just on the basis of what had happened to so many Quincy by the hands of the Shinigami, and how on top of that many were under the culture Yhwach cultivated of pure-blooded Quincy needing to rule over everyone else as the strongest and if they can't live up to his exacting standards they will be considered just as worthless as impure-blooded Quincy/non-Quincy - for the majority of them it's kinda just a no-brainer that they would end up being as cruel as they are even to each other, after living in what is essentially a dog-eat-dog world filled with Uber Racism. And you can see how deeply some of the Sternritters buy into this, how even being sentenced to death or having their powers stolen from them does nothing to shake their belief in this man who stabbed them in the back. The dogmatism is engraved into some of these characters, to the point where literally nothing will make them ever see Yhwach as anything other than their leader.

Along with that, some of the Quincy, like Bazz-B and Liltotto and others, realize (at least somewhat) how shit their system was once they see how easily they are thrown away after doing everything right (or, if nothing else, never doing anything more wrong than the Quincy Yhwach chose as "the best"); they're willing to work with Shinigami to get justice against what was done to them by a leader they genuinely saw as god.

And in the middle of absolute dogmatism and rebellion, there are ones like BG9 and As Nodt, who seem to follow Yhwach not out of outright loyalty but out of a fear of death itself. Given who they're fighting (literal death gods) and who they both are as characters (As Nodt being someone who induces fear into others, BG9 being a robotic lifeform), it's definitely A Neat Choice to have these two specifically follow Yhwach not out of a sense of loyalty but out of an intense internal fear that they feel Yhwach both alleviates (by giving them the means to avoid death) and induces (by promising to kill them should they fail him).

They aren't all a monolith even with how deliberately isolated they were from pretty much all non-Quincy society, which honestly makes them pretty interesting as a total group.

But, yeah, on the other hand a lot of them don't really have much in terms of individual personality outside of cool one-liners or My Power Is My Personality. And some others have that issue and their power is just fuckin' annoying as shit and makes them inherently unlikeable GERARD. FUCK YOU GERARD HOLY GOD WERE YOU THE ACTUALLY THE WORST QUINCY EVER. There will be Bazz-B and Jugram's immensely interesting dynamic with each other, there will be Bambietta's genuinely tragic fate despite how deeply despicable she was as a character, there will be the Femritters' absolute determination to continue living and not letting anyone including Yhwach kill them... and then there's fuckin'. Pepe, the Bootleg Zommari that Kubo bought on the black market loose in an envelope. Or The Yapper who literally died in a montage and whose name no one gives a shit to remember. Some who really have nothing to them at all despite being elite enough Quincy to be given Schrift at all.

So, like. Overall I actually like them quite a bit? At least definitely as a generalized group. Individually there are some really really good stand-outs here and some really really wet farts there. And Gerard fucking sucks and I hate him

[crumchycow]

a get to know you better meme

thanks for the tag @thestrangeillusion

do you make your bed?

Nope never, if something doesn't need to be tidied it will not be tidied, have left a bucket in the middle of my room for 9 months because of this.

what's your favourite number?

Don't have one

what is your job?

Currently just a student I kinda need to get a job but studying and working is a lot for me and acquiring a job is annoying and hard so uethggghhhh

If you could go back to school would you?

Um will I continue studying? Maybe....

can you parallel park?

No

a job you had that would surprise people?

None? Probably the most interesting way I have earned money is the only commission I've ever had, which was my mum commissioning me for her work (kindergarten) because they needed 30 little icon drawings that each kid has at like their bag hook and on their stuff to identify them, she didn't like the person who used to do it because they were weird about it for some reason and the designs were kinda cluttered and ugly so my mum was like my child can draw? Yes! and this way I can be really fussy and specific with it.

(dw she paid me quite well)

do you think aliens are real?

In the sense of any life existing outside of earth? yes 100% would be weird if there isn't. In the sense of complex or intelligent life? probably. In the sense of there are human equivalent creatures that have achieved space travel and are equally or more technologically advanced than us, unlikely but possible. Just thinking about how much time life has existed without humans and how long humans have existed before any ideas of space exploration and the very specific technologies and discoveries that were necessary for space exploration I wouldn't be surprised if we are the only ones. Also just like how incredibly difficult space travel beyond our solar system is I think it's unlikely we will truly know or make contact.

can you drive a manual car?

No :) do not care to learn. fuck cars and driving is boring i only learn to drive because its kinda necessary where i live :( get me good public transport government please

what's your guilty pleasure?

im guilty about alot things like drinking milk, eating too much sugar, spending too much money, doing literally anything i will find a way to feel guilty about it but thats just my general state of being since i was a child and i mostly ignore it or work around it.

I guess in the more traditional sense of things i like that are embarrassing and i wouldnt want people to know, it would be reading fucked up smut. Particularly my fondness for incest ships? Don't know why I suspect it is the codependency. but yeah umm...

Tattoos?

Not yet but I wanna get a spider (not decided which) on my back soon.

favourite colour?

Peach

favourite type of music?

Um I mostly listen to kpop because uh autism? idk, but I genuinely like a lot of music. Some of my favourite music is like objectively awful and difficult to listen to, I think I often like music that is complex and has lots of things.

Some of my favourite artists trying to include multiple genres I like:

Mamamoo

Stray Kids

Taemin

F.T. island

Jeff Satur

S3rl

Enaria

Chopin (I'm learning one of his preludes atm it's v pretty)

Vivaldi

BabyBeard

GHOST (vocaloid producer)

also gregorian chants slap (not christian, vocal harmonies just make me feral)

do you like puzzles?

Yes! I just recently was like y'know what I haven't done in years but suddenly really need to do:

But also just generally like I LOVE maths and figuring out things and patterns and stuff so fun.

any phobias?

Nope

favourite childhood sport?

Um not that into sport, I guess I wanted to play netball when I was like 8 (but that might've just been because that's the thing you do) but I missed the trial periods 2 years in a row but kinda glad I didn't I know multiple people with permanent injuries from playing netball as a kid/teen and my joints are not the most functional in the first place. Do still enjoy playing casually every now and then.

do you talk to yourself?

Yes my favourite hobby, I have the best conversations with myself, will stay up for hours just talking to myself. Also great for preparing for real conversations. I love it when a topic I fully thought about and talked to myself comes up in conversation and it's like fuck yeah gonna ace this one.

what movie(s) do you adore?

Hmmm not the biggest fan of movie as a story format but uh have seen how to train your dragon at least 20 times and I need to watch it again sometime soon, been craving that animal/human enemies to deep emotional connection best buds.

coffee or tea?

Love coffee, but over half of my daily water consumption is through tea (usually multiple kinds)

Would be less alive without tea also its just like so diverse, green tea!black tea! rooibos! masala chai! rosehip! liquorice! peppermint..... camomile! and so much more with sugar! with milk! with honey! or lemon! hot! cold! literally my favourite, shoutout to whoever invented plant in water. Also soup different kind of plant in water but still absolutely banging humans peaked at plant in water best things invented.

and caffeine doesn't affect me like at all? so i only drink these things for taste.

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

Idk the first but I know at some stage I wanted to be an author or a marine biologist (why is this so common who put it in our heads? Actually maybe David Attenborough....) probably the first was an animal or something

egh its rambly and may not make sense but whatever, also revealing any information about myself on the internet scares me even though literally nobody could do anything with this information like guys pls dont dox me through knowing my mum is a kindergarten teacher

tagging @gaylittlepieceofsh1t @mousydentist @mr-bazongos @wildelydawn @thestarscanalwayslookatus @fiddlepickdouglas @ae-azile and any one who wants to, no pressure tho <333

[oncamelliastreet]

how are you doing today :)

if i’m being completely honest: absolutely awful.

today was my first day back at school and it was the worst. i’m not talking to a lot of my “friends” (read:all but one) because they’ve all collectively shown me that they’re not great friends, and i don’t like to surround myself with negative people, but unfortunately at my school that’s pretty much everyone so it just makes for a very lonely day. and plus my best friend has cancelled on hanging out with me 3 times in the last week, and we were supposed to do something thursday this week but she cancelled yet again this morning because she spontaneously has to go to a theme park thursday :( and also whenever i talked to her today i could tell she wasn’t really listening, or we would be hanging out with her boyfriends friends and one of them very clearly doesn’t like me so i felt so awkward everytime i tried to participate in convo…

and my school is changing a bunch of their policies even though everything was completely fine last year, so now we can’t even use our phones in the halls during pass period because if they’re seen they’ll get taken, we’re not allowed to listen to music during class, the only time we’re allowed to have them out is during lunch. and ik a lot of schools are doing that but it’s still super annoying because as a queer person in a catholic, homophobic, sexist school filled with homophobic, racist, sexist students, i’m not very interested in making new friends, so i’m just extra lonely and i really have to sit in my loneliness now. and they changed our lunch system so there’s only two lunches instead of three, so it’s extra crowded and they had to open up a whole new room for people to sit in because it’s not big enough, and it’s an unorganized mess

plus, i have chronic migraines, so i woke up with a headache because i was clenching my jaw from stress all night, so i had a really bad headache all day and it felt like my head was just gonna roll off and i literally almost passed out like 3 times because i would get so dizzy when i stood up. i came home and went straight to bed with an ice pack, so its better now, but that was still very not fun and i won’t be surprised if it hurts again tomorrow :/

and…idk. i just hate the school year in general. it’s so hopeless to get home in the afternoon and feel like i can’t start anything because the whole day is done. by the time i find the motivation to do what i enjoy, it’s already 9 o’clock and i don’t feel like starting something like writing just to stop in a couple hours. or i’ll do it and stay up and then i’m so exhausted in the morning so i feel like im dying. i really wanna leave this school, but im staying because they have one of the best art programs in the country. senior year i might just give up.

and i don’t really get to relax for the rest of the week, tomorrow i have therapy (which i definitely need but i really hate doing things after school during the school week), wednesday i have to go wedding dress shopping with my sister pretty far away so ill probably get home from school, leave, and then come back and go to bed which will definitely make me feel like shit, thursday i have nothing thank god. and then i have friday off because it’s a holiday weekend but i have to move my sister into her dorm, and that will be depressing as fuck because she’s literally my best friend in the world and we have a really small age gap between us so we’ve always been super close and i’m gonna miss her like crazy. so.

sorry, i dumped all my problems on you :/ how was your day? hopefully better <3 thanks for asking