Tumgik
#idk it all discomforts me a lot
piosplayhouse · 2 years
Text
Today I got a notification that someone tagged one of my posts "he's just a family pet they trained to defend their kids" and at first I was like oh haha this is probably in response to when I called Liu Qingge bingqiu's pet right funny. And then I clicked on it and it was actually on my post about wwx having privilege in the cultivation world due to his status in the Jiang family and I was just like hm.
52 notes · View notes
willowser · 1 year
Note
the way u write about rei and touya is just :( so heartbreaking and tender and GOD it just. buries myself into pillow. it makes me so soft
wow, thank you !! 🥺💕 i just have so many thoughts about them like sjfhwjwbq all my own perceptions on their relationship and what-not. i think that's his mama at the end of the day 🥺 and he'll always be vulnerable to her ?? which is why he's never sought her out, bc he knows he'd fall right away. sometimes i think about all his motives and stuff to go after endeavor — and he has plenty LOL don't get me wrong — but i imagine him like a little boy still, trying to protect his mom 🥺 and now he's a grown man with the ability and he'll never not see her like that ?? and another thing is like, the whole quirk marriage and rei's purpose to produce these kids for this powerful man; and touya was her first little bundle 🥺 his first little love 🥺 amfbeiehakqn i'm actually about to cry let me SHUT UP LOL
14 notes · View notes
hecksupremechips · 2 years
Note
Ok genuinely your tags on my post are so so so true like. It feels to me esp during the cross dressing scene that it was trying to idk retcon a lot of what happened and it's genuinely really infuriating
That scene made me so uncomfortable lol like I’m pretty sure Kanji actually says to Naoto when the subject of wearing a bikini comes up something like "please wear a bikini so I can prove that I’m a man", implying that he wants Naoto to wear revealing girly clothes so he can prove that he’s not gay. Which is so fucking gross on every level. And you as the mc have to like. Convince Naoto to wear a bikini??? I’m glad that they didn’t end up having Naoto participate in the pageant but still everything else was so awful. This was the point when the game was straight up like "yeah Kanji was straight all along he fell for the trans guy see?" It sucks I hate p4
15 notes · View notes
merry-the-cookie · 2 years
Text
ykno i feel ive rambled about ash being quite gentle with mike before
but im realizing the reverse is also very very true
12 notes · View notes
musical-chick-13 · 2 years
Text
...That...sure was a reveal wasn’t it.
#Idk I feel like this example of 'mental illness plaguing my mind so it inspires me to hurt others because I see life as inherent suffering'#was done a lot better and a lot less overtly ableist than most examples#kind of like...it wasn't saying that having The Brain Disease is inherently Evil™ but more...lending context to the character's worldview?#I think it helps that as soon as he realizes that he's not changing anything and that there's a flaw in his logic he gets better#like he backtracks and apologizes and tries to help people in earnest#but I'm also just kind of...Idk do we really NEED another story where a mentally ill person is harming people because of their illness?#is that in and of itself an ableist trope?? I don't know!!! I am conflicted in this Chili's tonight!!!!! and by Chili's I mean my room with#a giant tub of ice cream I had delivered to me!!!!!!!!!#mc13 watches anime#but then again I don't consider my icon aka best character of all time to be an ableist stereotype for the reason of 'mental illness is not#why she's bad. she's bad because she chooses to be' and 'it makes her sympathetic and isn't some 'Inherent Reason Why She's Evil'#so obviously it can be done. and I think it's counterproductive to say that we can never write villains with mental illness at all#I also think. in this case. it's important to note that EVERYONE is a pretty bad person and none of the OTHER bad people are called 'crazy'#or referenced as being mentally ill in any way. it's literally this one person and he's the most fleshed out out of all of them?#so it's like. is my discomfort because I'm tired of seeing mentally ill Bad People in fiction due to Personal Issues or is this particular#instance an actual example of the 'demonization' problem#MANY THOUGHTS HEAD FULL (distressed)#the real horror was the ableism we found along the way
3 notes · View notes
daeluin · 2 months
Text
i don't like sp patrick on my dash. i don't enjoy watching that man. he should be on suicide watch
1 note · View note
tkbrokkoli · 2 months
Text
wanted to write smth abt top surgery ⬇️
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#trans stuff#ok so ive been wanting top surgery longer than ive wanted to go on T. my chest makes me the most dysphoric and if it wasnt so hard to acces#top surgery i wouldve gotten it long ago lol#so the hardest for me is the many steps that are involved. finding and contacting a surgeon. getting there for a 1st appointment#for the sugery for getting the stitches out. getting Surgery in general and its risks. staying at a hospital which is not my#Routine environment. possible pain itching restriction in movement complications. the results might no be as expected#just a lot of steps involved that require me to step out of my comfort zone and stay out of it for a longer time as well.#but what are a few weeks of discomfort compared to a chesticle free rest of my life right. so i def Want it#but. there are like 3 decent top surgeons that have a lot of experience in my country that i know of. id have to travel at least 4 hrs#or longer and ive never driven my car for that long and im too scared to take the train/bus by myself and i dont think i could make myself#do it. like. if it didnt involve all that other scary stuff i might manage to try taking a train by myself. but just the train. nothing els#i just cant tackle several things that are difficult and uncomfortable at the same time.#ive read that a few ppl have gotten top surgery in the city i live#ive taken the bus and tram here. no problem. this would be perfect#only problem is there are almost no reviews on those surgeons. there seem to be at least 2 thatve done top surgery. idk who the 'main'#surgeon is. ive seen like 4 result pictures that ppl have posted. ive talked to 1 person whose currently 3 mo post-op but said they#might get a revision done if the results wont look better in a few months. the surgeons themselves dont mention top surgery on their websit#one mentions doing surgery for gynecomastia so this is probably the one ill contact first#basically there is barely any information available. if it comes down the surgeons might not even have done many top surgeries#so my results might not look good. i dont necessarily need it to be perfect. i just want my chest flat. i dont plan on being shirtless#except for doctors appointments and sex if ill ever have any. its unlikely ill go swimming in public and there i would probably wear a#rash guard anyway to protect myself from the uv rays. so my priority is a chest that looks flat underneath clothes. and if it looks like#shit i can get a revision if i want to . i think im gonna contact the surgeons here and prepare a list of questions for the appointment#i feel like i can take these steps. but i cant take them w the far-away surgeons. im gonna talk to my therapist abt this as well. maybe the#have some information on the surgeons here. i also contacted the local queer organization but i havent heard back yet :/
0 notes
succubi-tch · 10 months
Text
So tiresome that I can't trust my supposed best friend of almost two decades to be honest with me if he's unable to offer me support. I could always ask but I never know if he's being truthful
0 notes
xiao-come-home · 1 month
Text
Boothill relationship headcanons;
┏━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┓
✰ Characters: Boothill x reader.
✰ Words: ~1k.
✰ SFW+N//SFW ; SFW mentions no pronouns or gender of the reader. N//SFW section was written with fem!reader in mind.
Tumblr media
Warnings: THIS HAS A NSFW PART. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS skip this section if possible. some of these hc are based on this post, since i wanted to write a little more about it.
A/N: BRAINROT gRR he truly gives me doctor by Miley Cyrus vibes. idk how to explain it but take it
┗━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┛
Boothill:
Tumblr media
SFW
he's such a gentleman! opens doors for you, pulls out a chair, kisses your hand when he sees you first for the day, it doesn't get boring for him at all. if you ignore some of his unhinged behaviors, then he's a perfect man.
like i mentioned in my previous post, he's VERY possessive of you. he does like to go to unknown clubs or bars with you to try out their best drinks in his spare time, though he doesn't have you attached to his hip (even.. if he wouldn't probably mind at all), he does keep a sharp eye on you. if a weird guy approaches you and you're clearly uncomfortable, he tries to intimidate the guy away and clearly let him see that you're his (aka placing his arm around your waist and pushing you into him), if being polite doesn't work, well, they have a rough night. not in a good way.
this man SCREAMS BACK HUGS!! since his body is like 90% metal and machines, he loves to embrace you from behind and wrap his arms around your tummy, while his chin rests on your shoulder. he misses the softness of his own skin, so having you gives him a lot of comfort; the warmth you're radiating makes him reluctant to ever pull away. boothill often finds himself touching his cheeks with his robotic arms, when they get warm enough - the feeling almost long forgotten in his mind.
speaking of back hugs: he's also very big on neck kisses, mostly giving than receiving, depending on how he feels, they're either very innocent and loving - very soft, paired with butterfly kisses, or biting you and then kissing it better, when things get steamy.
boothil finds it funny when his hair tickles you when he hugs you from behind. if he's feeling particularly like a little shit that day, he can annoy you the entire day like that, only to respond with "hmm? what do you mean? I'm not doing anything, baby!" ...don't tell him his smirk gives it away, but honestly, at this point, he probably doesn't try to hide it that well.
he DOES slap your ass when you go past him. EVERY time. it doesn't get boring for him, he likes the sound it makes AND how soft it is, bonus if it jiggles, then he's even more proud. he might offer "an apologetic massage," which you rarely agree to (but he'll try until u say yes).
if someone ever tinkers with his Synesthesia beacon, he cannot swear for his life. you might catch him trying to cook, spilling something, and then hearing loud "YOU LITTLE DAISY FLOWER! CUTIE PIE! CURSED FROG!" it's kinda impressive how colorful they can get...
speaking of his voice, he's probably able to manipulate it so it sounds the best according to your taste. although his flesh heart has been gone for so long, he still feels that familiar, warm feeling and squeeze of his own, mechanical one, when your answer is always the same - to modulate it so it sounds the closest to what it used to be, or that the current one is just as pleasant to hear.
he likes to kiss you. no matter where, or when. if he wants to, he'll get one, pressing you against him, cupping your face with one hand, and kissing your puckered lips. once you give in, he kisses you properly, caressing your cheek ever so slightly to ease any discomfort left, only to hold you tightly on your hips and whimper on purpose just to tease you more (i believe in boothill is a little shit theory).
if we assume his face is the only human part of him left (besides his eyes). In that case, he just truly loves the softness of your lips on his. he kisses you as much as he can, and will get all fussy and whiny if he doesn't get his good morning kiss, we-see-each-other-for-the-first-time-today kiss (note: this is not the same as good morning kiss), goodnight kiss and so on. yes, he could get it by himself, but he wants it from you first. he's just very stubborn.
watch out! he likes to draw blood on your lower lip when his intrusive thoughts win. he licks the blood off later, and gives it a loving kiss.
his hair is genuine, so he loves whenever you play with it, brush it, or take care of it in general. it's probably one of the very few human features of his, so if your boothill lets you carefully pamper it, let alone without flooding his cords, he's not only very impressed, but also very willing to indulge in more sessions.
finds it absolutely adorable when you wear his hat when he isn't looking. or, well, when you think he isn't looking.
N/SFW. minors and ageless blogs shoo!
the council has decided that he has a vibrator in place of his real junk. but if you're into experimenting and want him to feel a bit more, hm, natural - he's more than happy to change his parts. shape, size and pace - everything for his lady.
you can probably guess, but that's an absolute ass man. he sees you in tighter pants that hug you just so nicely and might go feral.
eats pussy like a starved man. he has no shame and licks, sucks, and fucks you with his tongue and THE SOUNDS could put the devil himself to shame. boothill always wants everyone to know that you're his, how you scream and moan for him, so in return - he never lets a drop of your juices go to waste, slurping and moaning into your slit.
he's literally so flexible, that he'll fuck you in every position you want him to. if it means he'll get deeper, he's on board. and probably on top of you too.
likes to grope you through your clothes. sounds very tame, but it really gets him going, and might sometimes cause trouble in public.. unless you WANT that trouble.
adding to the headcanon above - he truly just gets turned on by your skin, especially imperfections. stretch marks? he'll kiss them all, scars? he has them all memorized. when he touches you through your clothes, he already remembers what is where, it's like he's edging himself knowing that soon enough he'll undress you completely and see it clearly; he quite literally worships what truly makes you... you.
he. is. so. SO over when you pull on his hair. when you make out, when he fucks you - doesn't matter. DO IT and he'll go absolutely crazy, hissing in pleasure and grinding into you.
1K notes · View notes
awearywritersworld · 9 months
Text
tell me you don't want me
gojo satoru x reader summary: gojo adds falling in love with his dead best friend's little sister to the list of things that keep him up at night w/c: 1.8k tags/warnings: angst to fluff. gojo takes care of reader when they have a migraine. they watch shark week together, so shark haters beware. arguing, but nothing super harsh. protective!gojo. reader is referred to as a sister but there are no pronouns. gojo is around 27, reader 23. curse words. no out right smut, but a heavily suggestive ending so lets say 18+ a/n: i've been writing purely fluff for gojo, so it seems about time to return to my angst/fluff roots. today's epi made me had me feeling some type of way. may write a part two to this? idk lemme know what you think! masterlist check out my latest work for gojo here
Tumblr media
after you arrived at jujutsu high as a first year, everyone wore the same expression when they looked at you, their eyes full of pity and apprehension. you really couldn't blame them though. after what happened with suguru, you were left a shell of yourself, paranoid that you were destined to the same fate as your older brother.
however, the boy that suguru called his best friend held something different in his gaze whenever his eyes fell on you. understanding, maybe? gojo knew that if there was anyone in the world who missed suguru as much as he did, it had to be you.
for most of the year, the two of you really only talked in passing, dancing around a discussion neither of you were brave enough to initiate. then your brother's birthday rolled around and you found yourself drenched in rain, sneaking into the boys' dormitory to knock on gojo satoru's door.
he wasn't surprised to find you standing there.
"that idiot always refused to let me celebrate his birthday," you blurted out, damp hair sticking to your forehead.
he laughed. it was just a breath, but it was still genuine. "right? he couldn't stand being fussed over for one day."
and as you both stood there, rain pattering against the window, you felt months of unspoken tension melt away. "well, come in. i bought cake."
after that day, gojo took on the roll of your older brother and he really leaned into it. flicking your forehead to annoy you, threatening anyone he thought had a crush on you, giving you advice whenever he deemed you needed it.
you weren't sure if he was aware, even after all these years, that he'd saved you— pulled you away from the brink. you became like the little sister he never had, while he tried his best to fill the hole suguru had left in your heart.
Tumblr media
gojo spends more time in your apartment than his own, so it's no surprise when he barges in one afternoon, singing out your name (rather terribly, one might add).
"i have a migraine, 'toru," you groan from the couch, pulling the blanket up over your head as the bright light from behind his figure worsens your discomfort. all of your blinds are shut, the curtains pulled together. "can you please close the door?"
he hums, stepping inside and pulling the door shut quietly. "you seem to be getting them a lot lately."
"probably because i spend so much time with you," you whine facetiously.
he gasps, hand clutching at his heart. "i come all the way here to visit you, only to be ridiculed. my devastation is untellable."
after grabbing a washcloth from the linen closet, he pads over to the kitchen sink. you peer at him from under the blanket as he runs it under cold water, noting how the veins in his forearms become more prominent once he wrings it out.
you're laying across the entirety of the couch, but you scoot away from the edge and he situates himself in the space beside your hip, his body facing you. the corner of his mouth is turned down, evidence of the worry swirling in his chest. he presses the back of his fingers to your forehead before folding the cloth neatly and laying it there.
"you should mention the migraines to shoko," he suggests earnestly.
"they just flare up sometimes, you know that. it's really not a big deal."
"yeah, maybe.. but i still worry about you."
you can't help but notice how close he is and while it feels casual, it also feels... intimate? the cold cloth does bring some relief to your head, though you'd have preferred it if his hand had remained there instead.
"have you eaten?" he questions after a moment, pulling you from your thoughts.
"not yet."
"then i'll go pick up some food," he offers, rising to his feet. "do you need anything else-"
"no," you say a little too quickly, your fingers wrapping around his wrist. "i mean.. can you just stay?"
he suddenly looks very smug. "oh, what's this? are you sure spending more time with me won't make your head feel worse?"
you attempt to roll your eyes but the movement sends a sharp pain through your skull, causing you to grumble. "don't make me hurt you satoru. i was joking."
"i know," he smirks, decently self satisfied. "but you do have to eat, so-"
"there's leftover egg drop in the fridge, can you just warm that up for me please?"
"'course! anything for you, (y/n)-chan!"
his tone makes it sound as if he's teasing you, but he knows it's the truth. he's painfully aware that there isn't a thing you could ask of him that he'd deny. he tries not to think about that though, because he can't bring himself to admit what it all means.
once your soup is ready, he joins you on the couch. you move to sit up and while that makes plenty of room for him, he still lifts your legs, sitting so that they lay across his lap. one of his hands is resting on your shin, the other on your knee.
"shark week?" he suggests as you reach for the remote.
you nod eagerly. "yes."
Tumblr media
the two of you have never fought before.
well, maybe that's not entirely true. it isn't uncommon for the both of you to argue over video games, the latest chapter of a manga, or other things of that nature. but you and gojo have never had a genuine disagreement.
that is, until you mention wanting to challenge a decision made by the higher ups. he's well aware of how they deal with people they deem troublesome, so he can't help the vexation that bubbles up in his chest at your words.
"absolutely not," he tells you. his voice is low, not one hint of amusement to be found.
the tone leaves you narrowing your eyes, and you sound a bit misbelieving when you ask, "what do you mean 'absolutely not'?"
after everything that happened with geto, the higher ups have been wary of you. honestly, they're probably just looking for an excuse to pull another stunt like the detention center and he can't risk that. he can't risk losing you.
rather than express any part of that sentiment, however, he just goes all stone faced and vague. it's weird, so naturally it's followed by a bit of back and forth that goes nowhere, the conversation growing unreasonably volatile with each passing second.
why can't you just listen to him? why can't you give him the benefit of the doubt? he's earned that by now, hasn't he?
"i don't understand!" you hiss, your chest heaving with indignation. "why are you acting like this?"
because i love you. because i need you. because you mean more to me than everything else in this world put together.
he can't possibly say that though.. can't lay his shame bare for you to see.. can't bring himself to admit the feelings he has for you.
he's in love with dead best friend's little sister and it's wrong. it keeps him up at night. claws away at his self respect.
"i'll take care of it," he promises, sounding a bit defeated. "just please stay out of it."
"quit treating me like i'm a child, satoru. you're not my father."
your assertion makes the air in the room shift, and the feeling that forms in the pit of gojo's stomach is not unlike a cord being pulled too taut before snapping.
"so what am i then, huh? what am i to you?" he interrogates, taking a step toward you.
his eyes burn with intensity and the conviction in his voice is dizzying, especially since it's meant only for you. he immediately notices the way you stiffen, suddenly unable to meet his eye.
he swallows thickly, any restraint he has left ebbing away once he hears your small, nervous voice. "'toru, w... what do you-"
you're cut off when he takes another step in your direction, your back meeting with the wall after you attempt to maintain the space between the both of you.
one of his palms presses to the wall beside your head, though the other remains at his side. he doesn't want to trap you there, not when he still doesn't have a clear idea of how you're feeling.
his breath fans across your face, your mind struggling to process what was happening. you whisper his name, unsure of how else to respond.
"i want you." he nearly chokes on the words, the pain of admitting them evident in his voice. "want you more than anything."
and he does. he wants you more than the sleep he never gets. more than he wants to honor suguru. more than he wants to be a good man.
his head dips down, your breath catching in your throat when his lips find the spot on your jaw just below your ear.
"please, tell me to stop," he begs, sending a shiver down your spine.
your hands move to his chest, the rise and fall of it uneven and sporadic. god, you make him so fucking weak it's almost pathetic.
his lips shift to your cheek, closer to your mouth, and his hand reaches up to cradle the other side of your face. he sounds irrevocably desperate now, "tell me you don't want me."
your heart's beating so loudly in your ear drums, you can hardly hear yourself speak. "satoru, please."
"please what?" he asks, and for a moment you're unsure of the answer.
you try to open your mouth once more, but the words are lodged in your throat. confusion and frustration rattle around in your head, making it difficult to string together your thoughts. finally you just give in, grabbing his face between your hands and pulling his lips against your own.
he let's out a strangled noise, some unknowable mix of pleasure and relief. his hands land on your hips at once, greedily pulling your body against his own.
his lips are chapped, but they're perfect in the way they move against yours. the kiss isn't clumsy, nor is it unsure. it's ardent and comfortable, as if it's the most natural thing in the world.
you pull away first, each of you holding the other's gaze. you're both hazy eyed, your mouths curved into giddy, lovesick grins.
gojo doesn't hesitate when you glance down at his lips, your words easing that bitter self loathing he'd been enduring for longer than he cares to admit. "if you want me... then make me yours."
taglist: @torusmochi @moonmalice
4K notes · View notes
redabeliz · 1 year
Text
Soon all the white fur will be gone
Off of all our clothes and
Off of the couches
And off of the bed
With the hums of sickness
The cold of the season
A wet spot is left
At the end of the bed
With changes so sudden
And chances lost
My legs twitch at the feeling
Of the wet spot
At the end of the bed
Grief unheard
Grief blocked off
Grief, confusion
There's loose fur in my throat
Or it feels just that scratchy
The dryness doesn't help
This home that is stuffy
My arms are cold
And he can't lay next to me
I wish that health were controlled
So I could have my baby
That wet spot
Of pedialyte and spit
Even though it's just a dot
My mind is obsessed with it
Was it a lack of attempt
In this day and a half
A feeling of contempt
Or regret at this kitty print autograph
How to move forward
How to move back
Of his wet spot he left
I have my own
At the top of the bed
1 note · View note
nouearth · 8 months
Text
blue current.
clark kent x male reader headcanons.
warnings: fluff, co-workers at the daily planet, maws!clark, soft!clark, intern!reader.
a/n: it's been a hot minute since i've written anything! i feel so bad because i've been swamped with school, so hopefully this will hold you guys over until i post my next fic! it's not much, but i've been feeling fluffy as of recent, and clark is the perfect candidate, HAHA. idk, i've been feeing low-key creatively stuck for writing, so hopefully this well get me out of the slump!
gif credits to: fukutomichi!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
—clark was smitten from the moment he first laid eyes on you.
—it had only been the fourth month into his internship, but it was no secret that the higher-ups, and even his colleagues, have been impressed by clark's rapid growth.
—it was enough to ensure their trust in clark to train the new intern as the lead journalist had taken a month off for vacation. while he had his doubts if he would do a good job, clark always loved challenging himself.
—his mother had always reminded him: one who feared failure will never achieve greatness.
—sure, you weren't being mentored by the best journalist in the city. though, you had to admit that you felt defeated since miss lane was the only reason why you chose the daily planet over other internships.
—but bitterness turned to throat-drying, cheek-flushing, and hand-flexing sweetness when you came in your first day and met the man who would be training you.
—for clark, it was the drowsiness in your gaze that suddenly brightened when he met your eyes. if he could have seen his own face, clark would reckon that his eyes lit up the same way yours did upon meeting you for the first time.
—he's so... handsome. maybe training him wouldn't be so bad after all...
—his blue eyes sucked you in like heavy ocean current, but instead of fighting back the pull like any sane person would, you allowed him to drown you in the gorgeous wash his gaze doted on you with.
—god, are you toying with me right now? have you finally come around to my reckless behavior back in high school? i knew you always would!
—it began with a handshake. when clark's large hand cupped into yours, a current of sparks flickered from the bone of your knuckles to his own, and you both released with a gasp.
—"sorry! it must be my vest or something—has a lot of... cotton, i think—" clark assured with a laugh, but cursed his lame excuse in between breaths.
—"no, you're fine! i guess your sweater vest knew i was half-asleep, huh?" you laughed with him, and almost as if it was choreographed, you reached back to rub at your nape when he does, and the discomfort left the collective laughter in a fleeting dance.
—"well, lucky for you, our first stop is the break room! i'll show you how to make a poor man's mocha if you get sick of the coffee here!"
—from then on, you two had quickly become close friends.
—where clark would teach you more hacks to spice up an ordinary roast of coffee, you would return the favor by surprising him on random days with lunch that you prepared the night before.
—on nights where you were too tired to function, you simply settled for sandwiches and prepared an extra meal for clark.
—whether he claimed he forgot his lunch, or was too busy to even take a glance at his lunchbox; eating lunch had become a rarity for him.
—unless it was with you.
—even before opening the brown paper bag, clark knew it was going to be delicious.
—you always remembered what ingredients he liked and disliked since the first time you had lunch with him.
—clark smiled to himself as he ate the meal you didn't have to prepare for him in big bites.
—and then laughed when you watched in amazement and mirrored him like a parrot with messy bites.
—somehow, the thought of cared for was more filling than the actual meal.
—in moments where clark suddenly felt guilt for liking you as more than a friend, he sat silently, staring blankly ahead, with the tissue crumpled in his hands.
—and you sat beside him on the bench, compelled by his silence, while the birds watched from their home of oak and birch.
—it had been happening more frequently: clark's sudden mood shift. no matter how much he tried to deny it, how much he attempted to pacify your silent worries with his handsome smile, it was clear that something was bothering him.
—at first, you tried to break him with a joke.
—"geez, was my sandwich that bad?! i guess i shouldn't have used that expired mustard..."
—you've studied clark enough to anticipate a half-hearted chuckle from him; weak, but still had the intention to please. to masquerade his thoughts.
—instead, the birds chirped in his absence, and your frown only deepened as clark maintained a fixed gaze to the pavement.
—"clark?" you nudged him once on the arm, and he immediately dropped his head in between his legs with a heavy sigh.
—"what's wrong?"
—"there'ssomethingigottatellyou..." he muttered into the crook of his elbow, and your brows knitted together in worry, despite your amusement at the fact that he was behaving similarly to a puppy throwing a tantrum.
—"huh? didn't quite catch that when your mouth is full of linen." you gently nudged him once more to vacant the space between his legs, then another with a gentler squeeze to his arm when he doesn't.
—"clark, come on. talk to me." you squeezed harder to the sound of his groans. "people are staring—"
—then another squeeze.
—"there's something..."
—and another.
—"i gotta tell you..."
—and before you could alert him once more, clark returned the pressure into your own palm when he suddenly took your hand into his, and held it as if it was a pirate's lost treasure.
—the warmth of your skin compelled him to sit back up, but he refused to look at you. instead, he gazed every perimeter that didn't involve your eyes.
—the birds again, the sky, the trees, anything to drown out the sight of potential rejection.
—but how you wished he would turn to you right now, because you smiled. wide enough to sting the apple of your cheeks, and as much as you wanted to yell out his name for him to do so, you wanted to let clark do it for himself.
—to take upon the challenge of potentially meeting failure or success.
—heat crept onto his cheeks as he stared at a couple who were charmed by chubby ducks floating on the nearby lake. for a brief moment, he could see you two walking hand-in-hand, while the other free hand threw feed at the eager ducks.
—he was lost in his imagination. a blink turned into a dream, and a dream turned into a desperate paradise.
—it wasn't until the trail of your hand that looped your fingers into his, tightly sharing the warmth of anxiousness with a sticky clamp, that clark opened his eyes again and finally turned to you.
—wet eyes and shaking blues, they told a story that you didn't need to read into.
—silence filled the space between the two of you, then groaned in annoyance when you scooted closer until your knee was pressed to clark's. you folded his hand into yours, still clutching onto him tightly, and laid the joined affection on your lap.
—"i like you too, smallville." your thumb ran several laps over his knuckles to calm the tremors clark had possessed.
—he watched, open-mouthed as if he was about to respond, but the shock trapped the remainder of his words within his throat.
—you lounged back and squinted at the radiance of the sun, the brights of the sky.
—"(m/n)..."
—the sunlight faded into the background as the beauty of your best friend came into frame once again. he absorbed all the color and light of the world until your focus was on him.
—"i really like you."
—the sigh on his lips told a different tale compared to the previous exhales. it curled his lips upwards and finally pacified the shakes that had been bothering clark for months.
—when he pressed his palm back into yours, folding his fingers over your own, you braced for impact as you felt the electrical current from the first day you met him return in stronger pulses. it nipped at your skin, then at clark's, in its desperate escape.
—but clark held tighter, as did you, until the shockwaves melted in his skin, into his veins, then into his blood, and became one with the victorious cheer of his heart.
Tumblr media
© nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. and if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like! feedback is also much appreciated!
2K notes · View notes
toonbly · 2 years
Text
hiii does anyone know how to make posts nonrebloggable on desktop
0 notes
littledovesnow · 3 months
Text
a growing family | part 4
a/n: the finale!!!! i had so much fun with this mini series, i hope you love it!
warnings: childbirth (but traumatic), idk... hospitals? inaccurate medical stuff (i worked in a hospital but i don't know shit about medicine!!!!)
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
-----
Following a few Peacekeepers back to the train, you and Coriolanus talked softly about the conclusion of the tour.
“How did you like to see my old stomping grounds?” He asked, referring to the quick stop you two had made in the Hob so you could use the restroom.
“It certainly looks like the place that could draw a crowd.” You smiled, thanking the Peacekeeper as he helped you into the train.
Coriolanus walked dutifully as you more-so waddled down the aisle to the private car. “Are you feeling okay?”
He had noticed you taking more breaks while walking, discomfort on your face.
Nodding, you toed off your shoes and lounged with your feet on the opposite bench, letting your husband rub them once more. “Just ready to get these babies out of me. I feel like a beached whale.”
Coriolanus laughed, looking out the window as the train began the two-day journey back to the Capitol. “I’m sure they’re excited to be out in the world, have more space to move.”
You snorted, letting your head roll back and lean against the plush booth. “How long do you think we have until they come?”
“A couple more weeks, I hope. It’s still a little early.” Coriolanus chuckled as you let out a moan when he got a particularly rough knot out of your foot. “What are you thinking for dinner tonight, my love?”
You two continued the conversation while you both watched the trees go by, content in your last days alone.
-----
The following morning, you woke before your husband, smile coming to your face when you saw the Capitol’s skyline in the distance.
Slowly rising from the bed, you paused for a moment when the world went off-kilter.
You stood and walked over to the exit of the private car, moving into the dining one for something to drink, never understanding why your mouth was so dry when traveling on the train.
 “Goodmorning, ma’am. How are you feeling?” A Peacekeeper asked, soft smile on his face as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
“Tired. How about yourself?” You replied, eying the mug of coffee with envy.
You two kept a quiet conversation until the door opened once more, Coriolanus entering the car.
“You could’ve woken me; I would’ve gotten you something to drink.” He chastised, pressing a soft kiss to your head.
Rolling your eyes, you smiled as the Peacekeeper left to give you and Coriolanus some privacy. “Coryo, I’m going to be holed up in a bed for weeks in a few days, let me get movement while I still can.”
Coriolanus tsked as he looked over what would be served for breakfast shortly, smile coming to his face when you pulled his free hand into your own, fiddling with his wedding band. “How are the babies doing?”
Shrugging, you looked out the window as the snow-capped mountains drew nearer. “They’re getting anxious, certainly hope they’re both in the correct position now.”
Coriolanus chewed on his lip as he hummed in agreement, not wanting you to experience surgery if it could be avoided. “We shall see, you’re meeting with the doctor the day after tomorrow, correct?”
Nodding, you sipped the tea that was placed in front of you. “Unless I go into labor beforehand.”
The elephant in the room was finally mentioned, and Coriolanus’ frown returned.
“Coryo, you know as well as I do that there’s a high possibility we’ll become parents before the end of the week. I want as much as you do to wait until it’s safer, closer to the due date, but twins come early a lot.”
Nodding, the blonde took a long sip of his coffee. “As long as you’re all okay, that’s all that matters.”
-----
You woke to a loud screech, groaning into Coriolanus’ chest as the train stopped moving, stationed back at the Capitol.
“Good morning, welcome home.” Coriolanus whispered, voice hoarse with sleep.
“Good morning, Coryo.”
Both of you getting up, albeit you at a slower pace than Coriolanus, there was a small crowd cheering when you two disembarked the train, publicity-trained smiles on both of your faces.
Several reporters for the Capitol News had come to the station, vying for questions about the tour and wondering it’s success.
You sucked in a breath while Coriolanus spoke with Lucky Flickerman, keeping your face neutral as you interrupted the conversation. “Excuse me, Lucky, but Coriolanus and I have prior engagements we need to get to.”
Coriolanus sent you a look as you dragged him away from the cameras. He leaned down to ask you a question, voice soft to keep it off of the microphones. “What are you talking about?”
Looking up at him, you sent him a tight-lipped smile. “I’ve been in labor since four this morning. We’re going to the hospital.”
-----
You groaned in pain as your OB/GYN walked into the room, smile on her face. “Didn’t think we’d be seeing each other so soon, my dear.”
“Well, we like to keep you on your toes.” You grumbled, letting out a sigh as the pain dissipated.
“Where’s Coriolanus? I expected him to be stationed next to you the entire time.”
Laughing, you watched as the doctor put some bands over the bump to monitor the twins. “He stepped out to call Tigris and my mother. He should be back shortly.”
Moving to examine you, you looked on the monitor to watch the babies’ heartbeats.
Coriolanus re-entered the room soon after the examination ended, smiling at the doctor when he noticed her, though when he saw the tears brimming on your lash line his smile dropped. “What happened?”
“Baby B is still in a breech position, we’re going to have to do a C-section.”
At the doctor’s repeated explanation, Coriolanus was next to you in an instant, clasping your hand in his own. “It’s going to be okay, dove. You’ve got wonderfully trained doctors, the best in all of Panem, you’ll be fine.”
It felt like a whirlwind while you were being prepped for surgery, contractions getting worse as time went on.
Coriolanus stood next to you, wanting nothing more than to help take the pain away, willing the pain away.
“Mr. Snow, we’ll be going to operating room shortly. We don’t normally allow this, but you are able to sit in the surgery with us. Meet your children.”
You frantically looked up at Coriolanus, nodding rapidly. “Please, please Coryo. I need you, I can’t- I don’t want to do this alone.”
Coriolanus nodded, allowing himself to be layered in the sterile gown and booties, nerves skyrocketing as if he was the one on the table. “You’ll be okay, my love. It’s going to be okay.”
There was an oxygen cannula pressed against your face, IV into your arm, short curtain set up on top of you, inhibiting your view of the doctors at your other end.
Coriolanus pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, salty with the sweat still beading along your skin.
You felt the pinprick of a local anesthetic, the sounds of medical instruments being picked up and jostled, and the low voices of the surgeons and doctors birthing your children.
“You doing good up there, Mrs. Snow?” One of the surgeons asked, glancing up at your stats.
You nodded, too afraid to speak.
“Alright, let’s meet Baby Number One.” Your OB/GYN smiled, and a piercing cry erupted into the room. “Welcome to the world, Little Girl Snow.”
“A girl, we have a girl, Coryo.” You looked over at Coriolanus, ignoring the pressure in your head.
“We have a girl, love.” Coriolanus smiled, tears threatening to spill over.
You heard one of the machines behind you beeping more incessantly, the voices of the doctors growing muffled and distant.
“Coryo, some-something’s wrong. I feel- something is wrong.” You mumbled, words slurring.
Coriolanus felt his heart drop onto the floor at your admission, head snapping to the doctors who had started to rapidly soaking blood up, and he could pick out a few phrases from their rapid chatter, the words “obstetric hemorrhage” sending chills down his body.
“What’s wrong, what’s going on with my wife?” Coriolanus yelled, terror on his face.
“Mr. Snow, you’re going to have to head to the waiting room.” A nurse spoke, ushering him out of the operating room.
He saw one of the doctors pressing his fingers onto the second baby’s chest, while a handful of other surgeons and doctors focused on you, and Coriolanus had never felt fear quite like this.
-----
Four hours had passed since you were ripped from Coriolanus’ sight, four hours since he last saw his children. “A boy and a girl, Mr. Snow. Congratulations.” The nurse had said, smile on her face.
How she could smile in the face of a man whose wife could be dead, he’ll never know.
Coriolanus’ knee was bouncing a mile a minute as he awaited any news on your state, on the babies, on anything.
“Mr. Snow?”
His head shot up when he heard a soft voice call his name, and he saw a nurse approaching, hesitant smile on his face.
“Is my wife okay?” He asked, eyes frantic.
Nodding, the nurse lead him to a private room, away from any prying eyes. “Mrs. Snow is stable. She experienced a large quantity of blood loss during the birth, but with some transfusions, she is stable and should wake up shortly.”
Nodding, Coriolanus let out a sigh. “The babies? Are they- can I see them?”
The nurse paused, and Coriolanus saw a tick in her jaw.
“What’s wrong with my children?”
“The boy, I’m not sure if you’ve decided on names yet, but the boy will need to be monitored for a few weeks here. His lungs weren’t as developed as his sister’s, but with some supplemental oxygen and time, he should be a fighter.”
“My daughter, is she okay?”
“Would you like to meet your daughter, Mr. Snow?”
The nurse lead him to the nursery, motioning for him to sit in one of the rocking chairs. “Newborns do best with skin-to-skin, if you unbutton your shirt, I can place her on your chest.”
Coriolanus quickly undid the buttons, ignoring the nurse’s gasp at the few bruises on his chest from back on the train, and gently placed the newborn in his arms.
The baby was smaller than he expected, having never held a newborn before, but he felt enamored by her, by his daughter. Already, he was wrapped around her little finger, wanting nothing more than to give her the world.
“She has her mother’s eyes.” Coriolanus whispered, soft smile on his face as he rocked slowly in the chair.
Looking up at the nurse, Coriolanus asked about you, when you would be awake and ready to meet the twins.
“It’s hard to say, some mothers wake up shortly after birthing. Others, ones who had complications not unlike your wife, it can be a few hours to days before they wake. Rest assured, your wife is being monitored closely, and you will be able to bring your daughter to meet her mother.”
Coriolanus nodded, blinking back the few tears that threatened to leak.
He was thankful you two had decided to have the hospital facility to sign NDA contracts, not wanting his soft side to be released to the public.
“I’ll let you two bond, just press that green button when you need anything.”
Coriolanus thanked her, looking down at the small baby in arms.
“Welcome to the world, little one. You and your brother aren’t going to have to worry about a thing, I’ll make sure of it.”
-----
Coriolanus looked at himself in the mirror of your hospital room’s bathroom. The man staring back at him did not look like the Coriolanus Snow who was on the presidential election posters that were recently debuted to the public.
No, the man staring back at Coriolanus had greasy, unkempt hair, stubble popping up along his face, and bags under his eyes. Tigris had stopped in with a change of clothing and something to eat, knowing her cousin wouldn’t eat if it meant leaving your side.
The twins were recovering well, the boy’s lungs growing stronger with each passing day.
You were now Coriolanus’ top priority, you still haven’t woken from the emergency surgery and complications from days prior.
The doctors were unsure of why you hadn’t woken yet, speculating your body needed more rest than you let on, the tour taking a toll on your body.
Coriolanus walked back to the chair on the side of your bed, cracking his neck as he sat down and took your hand in his.
“The babies are doing well, doctor’s speculate we’ll be able to take them home in a few days. We have to name them first, and I know we decided on what to call them, but it feels wrong to sign the certificates without you there.”
The blonde man had taken to talking about his day, explaining things the twins were doing, hoping you would wake up and respond to his ramblings.
The only response he got was the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor, the only thing keeping Coriolanus sane.
A knock on the door drew Coriolanus out of his stupor, tight smile coming to his lips when he saw Tigris.
“How is she?” The older Snow asked, dropping a small box of baked goods on the table next to your bed.
“The same.” Coriolanus croaked, voice raw from the nights he spent crying, hoping you didn’t suffer the same end that his mother did.
It was as if Tigris could hear his inner monologue, as she hugged her cousin tightly. “She won’t be like your mom, she’s going to wake up, and she’s going to raise those babies down the hall, and she’s going to be your First Lady.”
Coriolanus nodded, dam breaking as tears escaped his eyes, racing down his chin to meet each other.
-----
Two weeks after you had become parents, Coriolanus had to make an appearance in public to show the Capitol he was still strong, and he would be Panem’s next president.
He was sitting next to Lucky Flickerman, answering lukewarm questions and entertaining the premise that he was running on a full night’s sleep, not the coffees he had been all-but bathing in.
While the show was at a break, one of the Capitol News associates came over to the two men, serious look on his face. “Excuse me, Mr. Snow.”
Coriolanus looked over to him, Lucky frowning that his story had been interrupted.
“Mr. Snow, I’ve just gotten a call from a Tigris Snow? She said that you’re needed at the Capitol Medical Center urgently.”
Coriolanus felt the blood rush to his ears as he left the station without a single look back, commanding his driver to what had become his second home at this point.
-----
Footfalls echoing off the walls, Coriolanus’ eyes were wide as he turned the corner and entered the room that had become familiar over the last weeks, the room seemingly brighter when he saw your smiling face back at him.
“Love.” Coriolanus sighed, rushing to your side, kissing you as if he was starved.
You kissed back just as eagerly, only breaking the kiss when you felt your stitches pull. “Hi, Coryo.”
“Hi, dove.”  
-----
a/n: the end <3 maybe you'll see this beautiful family in some future fics!
745 notes · View notes