#idk it's the fantasy of it all! the wishful thinking! yes we know it did not happen but lets imagine it did. lets wish this posthumously

[satoruhour]

POCKET P*SSY!

a/n: idk where this came from. tagging @nc-vb @papersirens @crysugu

wc: 2.8k

warnings: fem!reader, m! masturbation (two scenes), use of fleshlight, unspoken feelings, reader listening in on nanami, f! masturbation, brief clit stimulation & fingering, pet names, ambiguous ending, n*sfw under the cut

nanami kento was an organised, work-oriented man. he submits his sorcerer reports on time, he reports to work right at nine in the morning and clocks out at six o’ clock sharp, his office is prim and proper with all things where they should be and his (various) suits are always pressed and clean, smelling like sandalwood.

so why was the sight of you so compelling and striking that he swears he can hear his heartbeat through the freshly ironed blue button-up shirt? when you’d come to his office in the school to pass him his morning coffee — which wasn’t forced, you did find yourself heading to the café more and more — and the times when you’d engage in simple conversation with him about bread and gojo (negatively).

it was always a breeze to be around you, a fresh air from the intricacies of being a sorcerer. the violence, the bloodshed, the fatigue. but it’s so much of fresh air that sometimes he wonders why he chokes on his words and feels out of breath whenever he talks to you.

nanami has unwillingly checked his phone for the umpteenth time whilst doing his report, glancing over ever so often just to make sure you wouldn’t cancel on that friday drinking outing you proposed to go on with shoko. gojo was undeniably left out of the picture because of his tolerance and the two were the best drinkers in town, but he just wished he could work out the courage to ask you to be alone with you.

but nanami valued his sanity and heart. he wouldn’t know what he would do if he ever lost you to a curse even though you could hold your own, and the amount of sorcerers who are sent out just to die never deserved any of it. but if they didn’t do it, who will?

it’s question after question that’s mixed in with thoughts of you as he stays focused on the blinking cursor of the word document. appear. disappear. appear. disappear. nanami finds that he can’t think of anything else to say in this dumb report, staring blankly yet again at the annoying flickering cursor that reminds him that this was far from done. he glances down to the first drawer of his office table, the brass lock drawing him in. he thinks that he’s not ready.

just as he wants to type his next word with newfound determination, you’re barging through the door with a loud “nanami!”, a big grin plastered on your face with shoko under your arm, trying not to fall under your intoxicating happiness. god knows why you’re so happy, and if he didn’t know better he would think you were already drunk.

“she just got news that her holiday was approved,” shoko nods as she takes a drag from her cig, blowing the smoke into the office.

“please do not blow secondhand smoke into this room, shoko.” nanami’s monotonous voice cuts through the air like a knife and you would think it’s a reprimand, but both of you know the 7:3 sorcerer is just like that.

“why so boring . .” you tsk, a skip to your step when you round the table and peek at the work, and nanami has to ignore the bounce of your breasts under your outfit and the proximity in which you lowered yourself to. he tries to subtly take in your scent, not listening to your question under you wave a hand in front of him and nanami has to break away from his fantasy of you riding him while your tits bounced in his face. filthy.

“nanami? it’s already 6:02, i thought you violently rejected overtime?”

he clears his throat, catching the brief, sly glance of shoko before he turns to you, “y-yes. i do. just give me half n’ hour, ladies, and we can head over to the bar right after.” he didn’t even realise the clock had already striked 6.

shoko puffs out more smoke to nanami’s dismay, “what the hell do you need half n’ hour for?”

“just to clean up this report, promise.” he mutters, pushing up his reading glasses, “i’ll get it done as soon as possible.”

“oh? the great nanami kento doing overtime?” you giggle, reaching over to type a little cheeky “:)” into the word document before waving goodbye a little dazedly as you walk out behind shoko. the pace at which your heart raced matches the man inside at seeing him in his clear, dad glasses.

“you are down bad, girl.” 

“shush!” you swat at her arm and all she responds is with smoke in your face that she laughs and you just huff, heading off back to the morgue where she felt most at home.

nanami never did submit the report on time. he was given a reluctant extension. what was he doing? anything but the report, instead locking the door to his office and lying awkwardly on his office sofa, that was cleverly placed behind a partition wall. it took a bit of discipline — he typed a few words, deleted them, typed some more and realised they didn’t make sense and by now it’s 6:15. he takes one glance to the locked door and to the partition and down to his hard-on with that familiar feeling in his stomach. it’s been long since he’s jerked off, and sure, he has done it mindlessly just to calm the morning wood but it’s been long since he’s gotten aroused by someone.

the man palms himself through his pants, imagining it was your dainty hands instead, a soft groan leaving his lips at the feeling. his pants have never felt this tight, throbbing and just begging to be released as he slowly fishes it out. nanami was big, a pretty little curve to his cock with a tip that’s leaking pre-cum, and he strokes at it, a shaky breath leaving his mouth that it sounds pathetic. here he was, in his own office sofa fully clothed, with one leg digging into the floor and the other propped onto the armrest. 

“f-fuck . .” he swears lowly and starts setting a pace, conjuring up your face as you bob your head over his length while you play with yourself. “right there—”

nanami whines, unintelligible words muttered out as he pumped his cock. he spits into his palm and continues his ministrations with the most lewd noises that have never graced his office before. so many thoughts of you occupy his mind, you fucking yourself back onto him, how sweet your pussy would taste, the sort of sounds you’d make, how you’d feel around him — nanami cums with a quiet, strained groan, hips lifting off the sofa as he spurts his cum all over his suit, and he doesn’t care, too lost in the feeling as he squeezes his eyes shut. the idea of giving you a creampie sounds too good at the moment, how much cum he’d shoot into you, how he’ll watch it drip out—

“fuck my life.” he simply murmurs when he sees the translucent liquid settle in, and yet nanami doesn’t regret it one bit.

the next week is torment. it was particularly difficult, especially after the moodiness you possessed after getting one worded answers from nanami at the bar. he couldn’t even hold eye contact with you, how rude! he was also gone for quite a bit once, coming out of the bathroom all sweaty and out of breath and you wondered if he found a cursed spirit in the sketchy, dingy restroom of the club.

“relax. a thousand yen he’s just stressed out by . . external factors at the moment.”

“but he’s nanami! if anything, that man is internalising all that’s stressing him out,” you groaned into your hands, “also why are we betting on my love life?”

“it’s fun.” shoko defends herself with two hands when you point a finger at her; you go back to your sulking stage soon enough. she merely settles for a hand on your back. “but you’re not wrong. this is just, a little different.”

you only can sink further into your hands when you recall how nanami pulls uncomfortably at his tie, a distraught expression on his face when you asked if he wanted another round of drinks. the avoided eye contact, the conversation mainly existing between them, it was all you needed to know about his feelings of you. the coffees and hangouts meant nothing, and yet you were so clueless at how you’ve awoken something entirely new for nanami that he’s cumming thrice a day just at the thought of you.

another day, another report to fill in. he had dealt with a first-grade curse this time, the casualties, brutal and infrastructure was severely destroyed. it was going to be a hell of a word count, he notes, but what he doesn’t want happening, or rather, the unavoidable, happens. his mind drifts back to you again and everything that you stood for, of your blinding smile and kind gestures. you knew how he liked the right amount of sugar in his coffees and the right place to massage when his upper back was hurting. there was many times he was sure you both had crossed the line of co-workers and lovers, but it was never spoken or defined.

it was a grey area, he admits. tethering along the lines that he wasn’t even sure was there any more: a gaze held longer than usual, a brush of your hand on his, the not-so-secretive glance at your ass, the quick gaze from his eyes to his crotch when gojo makes a dirty joke. it was already between the lines, yet none of you wanted to act on it.

nanami groans into his hands, taking one more look to that locked drawer, thinking it would magically unlock itself and he wouldn’t have to go though the torture of submitting to his desires and unlocking it like a sex-crazed man in the victorian era after seeing a woman’s ankles. it was humbling. but his mind seems to have a different plan, descending into fantasies that he would rather take to the grave than let gojo pry out of him and he shoots up, fumbling for the key hidden under his documents.

within a second, nanami unlocks it and lets out a breath and takes out a box — a hilarious (at the time) but stupid, stupid thing (it was a fleshlight) he let gojo talk him into buying while they were both drunk. but the more he looks at it, the more he wishes to feel your walls around him and his bulge is not going down. he takes out the fleshlight eagerly, looking at it with wide eyes before he swallows and nanami feels like a teenager again.

his heart pounds when he removes his pants. his laptop, open with his undone report and him standing wide-stanced in front of his desk like a loser and his underwear pulled down just enough for his cock to spring up, you would think he was an alien from another planet. nanami does away with all rationale when he slaps his tip along the pocket pussy, thinking it was yours before his tip slips in and he gasps. the sorcerer stumbles forward and he has to rest a hand on his office chair.

“gojo, you fucking dick,” nanami hates that he’s enjoying it. “haah . . shit—” 

he pushes it down his shaft and the instant pleasure is prominent. soon, nanami is moving the fleshlight over his cock, walking with unplanned steps to the sofa. he falls into it easily, hands still pumping the device along his dick and he already wants to cum from the tightness.

“fuuck . . baby,” there are soft pants that leave his mouth, the device already filling up with all of his pre-cum. the slick noises that dominate the room is loud. nanami is too far gone in this, hips thrusting up into the fleshlight with all his might as he imagines it’s you straddling him instead. biting down on his fist does little, sure he was drawing blood from how hard he was sinking his teeth into the skin there. the way he slips inside feels so much better than his hand, and yet there was something missing — your sounds, the sight of your pussy. he needed to know he’s making you feel good. he cums with a cry of your name and mixed in profanities, pelvis basically rutting into the pussy as he shoots his load deep inside. 

and it doesn’t end there for nanami — like a deranged man, he’s grabbing his cushions and stuffing the pocket pussy in between it and the sofa, dragging his tip along the silicone clit. this shit was embarrassing, fucking something fake just so he can simulate the fantasy of being in you, but it felt fucking divine, so much so that the soft “nanami?” doesn’t even reach his ears. he reenters the pocket pussy, body hunched over the sofa as he presses down on the couch cushion and wishing it was your lower back.

the long, loud groan nanami lets out sends a straight chill to your core and you hear it before you see it. you think maybe your chances are ruined, he has someone else and the dancing around each other was done just for fun, but you think a little peek wouldn’t help. your self care sessions are getting a little boring anyway.

the gasp doesn’t reach his ears either when you glance around the partition and you get the sight of your life: nanami thrusting into the sofa while still fully clothed, eyes closed and expression pulled into pleasure. you’re torn between arousal, modesty and relief and despite all that you still listen out for how turned on he was, the gross, dirty sounds of him rutting into something and yet you don’t know what. but you decide to play it safe, flipping back around to rest your back against the walled partition, hand reaching up your skirt and into your panties.

“(y/n) . . baby, g’na cum—” 

your eyes widen, your jaw drops but your hand on your clit never stops, rubbing in time with his thrusts as your other hand is probably making marks on your face by how hard you were trying to stop your moans from coming out. you’re already so wet that your ministrations are all messy and smeared, drawing haphazard circles just for a taste of that high as you soak and soak your panties.

“baby, baby, baby . . o-oh—” you swear under your breath, because who knew nanami kento could sound so damn good? you’re continuing the assault on your pussy, going past your clit and into your entrance and you wish it was his cock instead, but instead he’s fucking a pocket pussy imagining it’s you. too bad you don’t know that. “gonna cum in y-you—”

there’s a little crack in his voice and you involuntarily let out a soft moan and the movements are halted all of a sudden. in your panic, your foot spreads and the bottom of your shoe grazes against the wooden floor and your presence is fully made known, now.

“hello?” man, what the fuck? now they’re really not going to answer. nanami sifts through the possibilities: it couldn’t be any of the men, they know not to interrupt nanami when he’s working. shoko would only for alcohol . . you? you dig a deeper grave by making an incoherent noise in your throat and that’s when nanami’s fear really settles in. he wasn’t hallucinating anything — there really was someone calling out to him the first time and the gasp and now the little moan? but nanami has anything but luck, not being able to catch the person because you’re booking it out of there immediately, not exactly quiet due to the clicks of your heels and you want to go back into that exact grave to die.

you can hear and feel your heart in your throat, back lined with sweat more than it would be when fighting a curse. whilst, there was only one thing on your mind that slowly induces you into a downward spiral; he called your name, your name, your god-given name, the people address you by, he called—

standing by the little zen garden of the tokyo school, you can feel your clit throb and the breath taken out of you as the vision replays again and again in your head and you think yourself stupid for running out of there. but before you can turn back, gojo’s approaching with a big, shit-eating grin on his face and waves to you (“yaga told me to come get you, you’re not busy, are you?”).

swallowing, all you can do is shake your head, but not before you spare a last glance to nanami’s door which is now closed shut. you hear a click.

[howcouldtheyletmebeanadult]

So like i know i just posted about the "You're so reliable Fushiguro" scene with itafushi lenses. But i want to talk a little more seriously about from Megumi's pov.

Look, I know that we itafushi fans usually interpret it as a scene of Megumi being down bad for Yuuji. After all after the compliment his irritation subsided and he looked away. And i loved that interpretation, I really, really did, but then I read a tweet that completely changed the scene for me.

I cannot find the tweet, trust me i tried, but basically what it said was that the scene was actually Megumi being unable to respond to the compliment, not out shyness or tsundereism, but because Itadori praised him for "saving a lot of people" (by giving them a escape route for both them and the possible survivors), when Megumi didn't have any intention of saving anyone at all.

Which makes a lot of sense, honestly, the tweet also pointed out that while Nobara agreed with Yuuji about saving the woman's son, Megumi kept quiet.

And this paints the scene, and Megumi's reaction in a very different light. In the anime it feels more lightheaded because we see a chibi Megumi go from annoyed to surprised, but in the manga...

The way he looks down and changes the subject. I could be wrong, but I wonder if part of him feels guilty, maybe not for not being interested in saving the prisoners, but for "deceiving" Yuuji into thinking he's a better person than in reality. I joked about this in the "simptadori" post but Yuuji basically did call him a hero (his hero).

Megumi sometimes feels like a very conflicted character to me because he genuinely seems to believe in his own beliefs about who deserves to be saved, to the point it causes conflict between him and both Tsumiki and Yuuji, and he genuinely seems to be frustrated with them, yet at the same time, he clearly admires the goodness in them.

This might be a hot take, but i sometimes wonder if Megumi wishes he was more like Tsumiki and Yuuji. Yes, he thinks their kind of thinking only causes pain, yes, it frustrates him, but idk man... he tells Tsumiki he finds her goodness disgusting, but was the disgust he felt actually towards her, or himself? Megumi has never thought very highly of himself, especially compared to the pedestal he puts Tsumiki and Yuuji on.

Even before Jujutsu Kaisen as we know it, back in Sousen when Megumi was the MC, he thought highly of them, and little of himself.

I kinda wonder if he might resent himself for not being able to be more like them, someone he could see as "good" and deserving of the carefree life he wanted for Tsumiki.

Even in the latest chapter, Megumi pictures Tsumiki and Yuuji walking side by side, with their backs to him and talking about "sending her off" alongside someone like Itadori. Like, even in his dream world he pictured Tsumiki leaving his side, alongside someone like Yuuji, someone "good" that would "deserve" it.

Actually...what if that whole thing wasn't about a romantic partner for Tsumiki (??) or even my own belief that it was about Megumi simply wanting Tsumiki and Yuuji to be side by side the way they are in his heart, but about Megumi being replaced instead. Like, between the image in the panel and the expression used, it gives that vibe of a goodbye. As if Tsumiki was moving on from Megumi, with someone just like her to keep her company. Like in his own fantasy, Tsumiki would be freed from him.

[broooooo]

(writing this first story of mine, for me specifically, to experience my own fantasy)

My name's aaron

Im in my 3rd year of highschool, I'm 19 years old, long hair, ace, nothing going for myself, not exactly bullied, not exactly popular, just Invisible most of the time, sitting alone and watching the masses, Im not a fan of school either, math can suck ass, and everything else is annoying, for years I look upon the popular seniors, all so hot, all so popular, when ever I was noticed, they would talk to me , they are so kind, the jocks in the group are nice to, although they are very horny, since I'm older, I never played sports, I was a protected child, but I always fantasize about playing football, to be a jock, iv loved the look of muscles, cleats, beer, iv jacked off to many pictures, to fuel my insecurities, maybe one day I could fit in, oh how I wish to be one of them

I said this under my breath, just so I could hear it, to calm me , I sigh and go back to listening to music to wait for my next clas

Without me knowing it, one of the jocks (Jason) ended up vaguely hearing me from close by, mostly the part about I wish I could be a jock, muscles , beer...,

He has a blank but grinning smirk, he gathers his other jock bros and rushes to coach, coach is an eccentric man, large muscles and gym lesson workouts that leave the students in pain for days.

Jason tells coach about what he heard , coach has a evil grin with his hand rubbing together,

"jason- bring him... to me"

"yes coach"

While I wait for my next class, listening to music, I see Jason and his buddies come up to me, I'm kinda shocked and happy someone acknowledged me, wonder what they want

I look up at Jason making eye contact.

"What up Aaron, my bro, coach would like to see you*

I'm visibly confused

"me? Why?"

"nothing bad, your gonna like this"

" eh, ok, what's the worst that can happen"

"ALL RIGHT LETS GOO" jason and his buddies are cheering,

In my head I think, why are they so happy xd, I wonder what could be happening, I hope Its nothing about how I skipped gym class last week,

I enter coaches office-

I say - " yes coach, you wanted to see me?"

-" yes I did, come sit over hear"

I sit across from him, taking note of the musk in the room, an intoxicating smell to say the least.

We make eye contact

"soo Aaron, I hear you want to be a jock"

Shock runs through me,

"wait what?, But how?"

"my boy Jason told me, a friend of yours I asume?"

"well I wouldn't say "friend" but we have talked in the past"

My heart's racing , breathing faster, the smell in the air ain't helping either, but I am getting hard under my trousers.

In coaches mind" don't worry my boy, Jason and the others will soon be your best BRO'S"

"now what do you say Aaron?, Want to join us?, To become a jock, I can teach you everything like your my son"

I'm a little scared, but also excited, like what the fuck is going on rn?

"umm .. y yeah , sure, I wouldn't mind coach..."

Coach smiles,

"well answered, hear, for starters, drink this son"

Son?, He hands me a can of beer,

"go on, drink, it's a staple jock drink"

Shaking, I click open the can and start of sip , gulp , and then slowly down the drink,

"how do u feal Aaron, anything different?"

"well idk, besides me being hard as a rock and sweating hard, maybe a little tipsy, I don't drink all that often_ I start to drool a little

In coaches mind he says ( well it's sure working fast I'd say, he wants this, so there's no resistance, soon he will be drinking all the time), coach smirks

"Well come with me son, leave your things, you won't be needing them, and don't worry about your next classes, iv got you covered"

I leave my jacket, and bag behind, as I get up, I feel dizzy, but a happy dizzy, Jason takes hold of me

" you good lil bro?, Don't worry, things will bet better"

lil bro ? I think, hah,sounds cool

"yeah thanks Jason, I owe you... Big bro"

Jason smiles ,

He's my big bro hehe, drool keeps coming from my lips, my head is dizzy

I'm moved into the locker room, coach orders Jason to put me down on one of the benches facing a TV, usually used to watch the game

"Jason, help Aaron undress"

"yes coach"

I become undressed, my top, my trousers, my boxers are soaked in pre ,and my hard cock is a sight to see,

Drool keeps coming

"Alright Jason, sit next to him, while I set this up"

Jason and his bros sit next to me ..

A video starts to play, Jason holding me up, as I stare at the screan.

Jason Whispers into my ear" don't worry lil bro, master coach and I hear for you" with a big dumb smile,

I continue to drool in a dazed state, my cock rock hard and leaking a fountain of pre

I stare at the video

Coach comes out of the back with a football kit, cleats, jock strap, pads, and a helmet,

"now stare Aaron, stare, become who you wish to be me, who's your meant to be,

A dumb jock"

I , Jason and the bros start to laugh, as we all stare at the screen, we are all hard, but I'm the most affected, seems they have been through this already,

"what do u wish you Aaron?"

Slobly I say

"dumb... Jock.... To becum...beer..... Bros.... Muscles ...... Football..... Wish.... I am dum , I obsy, I .... I must obey, .... I jock bro.... Bro.... Cum."

Coach grins- "good boy, now who do you obey?"

"i..,..I obay....yoouoou.... ... Master coach"

"and what are you?"

"a... Dumbbro... Jock..."

"good boy my son, we are almost done here, stand up boy, don't look away from the screen

I sand up, my bro Jason holding me steady

Coach then dresses me up in the kit, all soaked in something that soon my skin soaks up

It's all too big for me, but then,

My muscles are , my body, they are growing, my stomach hardens into 6 pack abs, my triceps and bi ceps , my arms are inflating and hardening with pure muscle, my hands beef up with hardened fingers from years in the gym and the field, my neck thickens and chest widens with huge hard nipples, my legs thicken and elongate , tree trunk muscle legs form, my feet expand, grow , while my hardened dick, grows longer, harder, leaking even more, a 12 inch monster , my body start to stink,

The kit starts to fit against me, tight, the cleats feel snug and the gloves give energy, my body fully soaked the liquid from before , coach stands back holding the helmet

"good boy Aaron, now recite the screens words, submit to me, to your new life

My thoughts are changing, my memory fading, changing, I recite the screens words..

"I am a jock,

I am a jock, I am a jock

I am a bro, a jock, a dumb

A dumb jock bro, football

I must obey coach, I am a jock, football jock , I m obedient, I am dumb , I am a bro , I am A dumb

Football jock...."

"who do you obey"

"I obey you coach"

With that, coach places the helmet on my head

My mind stops, I go blank, my memories reshape,

I am a dumb jock, I am a bro, quarterback of the team, Jason and the other bros have been my bros for years, we love sucking each others dicks, no homo bro, only us men know how to to work a dick, better than any chick,, Jason is my big bro, we workout, we get drunk together,, we obey

We obey master coach

Coach then pays attention to my hard leaking jock, were all my old memories are in the lemon sizes ball churning with new jock cum

"sit down boy" I sit down to coaches orders, Jason and others relax against me, we are all about to burst

Coach starts to jack me off, I start to grunt in a deep voice.

"good... Good boy Aaron , good jock boy , relax, let it sink in, you are dumb jock my son, your dreams have been fulfilled, who do you thank?"

" I thank you coach"

" good boy... Now CUM"

We all moan and grunt as cum, CUM , rods of cum shoot out all over us, puddles of cum stain our Kits, the walls, the bench, some got on to coach , he licks it off of him.

Coach lets go of my cum covered dick, and pushes it back into the cup jock strap, then tightens the tight football leggings to complete it

My huge muscled body sits,against the wall,

"stand up Aaron my son"

My head starts to clear, thinking only of beer, cock, coach football, the bros, football.... . muscles. Working out... Beer..

Me , Jason and my bros stand up

"yes coach? My dick still hard , ready for more , very horny

" we are gonna do some training for the game, Jason and the others , go, your bro Aaron needs his picture taken for the year book.

"Yes coach!, Hehe, welcome to the team lil bro, we'll be waiting outside , Jason bro bumps my back,

_" see you there big bro"

"stand over hear Aaron my son"

"yes coach"

Click, the pictures are taken

As the flashing light fades, my dick explodes once again, cum pooling in the jock cup,

I am a dum football jock.

" run off to practice boy, ill meet the team there,

"YES COACH"

I run to the field, my loud steps echoing

Coach takes one last pic of me on the field, to commemorate this special day,

"soon he will be bringing others to me.

So happy to make Aaron's dreams come true"

Coach runs to the field, proud , ready to get us to the championship games

" ALRIGHT BOYS, 6 laps, GO, there's beers waiting for ya"

____________________________

The end, ahhhh , the dream... Atleast I made it come true in writing xd

If anyone sees this, what do you think?

I sure enjoyed my first story

[marumafan]

Hello, I am an old fan of KKM and I am really glad that I found your blog. Especially, since I have seen your conclusion about some additional information: You are right. Indeed. Yuuri is gay or bi...and he did go on dates with guys before or he would have had no reason to feel bad at a certain point in time, when the one whom he had defended resigned the team.

Yuuri has basically no interest in going out with girls, but pretends that he is solely interested in them.

What I also considered interesting is that he basically was thrown out of the team because of defending a love interest...He punched the coach, when I remember correctly...and he did get himself into the engagement with Wolf, because he did not dare to really punch him with a fist, because he felt at least attracted to him physically at that time.

So thank you for your your analyses up until now.

Hello there! Yes, but it's not like he goes around acknowledging it. I think that Yuuri is deep in the closet.

He's a character of his time. No way a teen would admit to being gay in the 2000s (they don't even do it in the 2020s here in Japan).

Just go to wikipedia and look at the summary table at the end of the article here to see how many rights LGBTQ+ individuals lack. Every red cross is an inequality. The dates Yuuri went on with those guys were very hush-hush, and I don't think he could quite admit to himself or others that he's gay or bi. For me, the clearest acknowledgement that he's 'not straight' is when his mom asks him if he's into 'people who wear uniforms' and he starts crying in Change /(Convert) the same story where he goes on a 'Christmas date' with the other guy.

After that story, there was no doubt in my mind that he already knew he was non-straight before meeting Wolf; but also that he was keeping it quiet.

I think his extreme closetness is difficult to understand by younger people and/or people who do not live in Japan. Anyone who lived in the 2000s America and is or knows LGBTQ+ people knows very well how closeted people were, especially after Matthew Sheppard. All of my closeted friends went deeper into the closet... and the ones out of it, quietly went back. It was a time of horror and I can only imagine it was worse in the past. That's simply the case that I recall as the horror of my time in the West.

I have many personal stories about the cruelty in treatment of LGBTQ+ people in the 2000s by Westerners AND Japanese, but I don't wanna get into it.

I'm just saying, I get Yuuri. Anyone living as 'non straight' during those years 'gets' Yuuri. And his wishful thinking about how 'getting a girlfriend will magically make him straight ', I know well and have seen myself.

This is a very realistic character of the 2000s.

It gets annoying at times, cuz he is a fictional character and why can't he just get it on in this fictional world with the cute guy that he's very much into?!

Stories are fantasies that we go on to escape the cruelty of reality, and when this guy 1) goes to a place with no sexual discrimination, which is what has kept him closeted 2) is surrounded by cute dudes and 3) the cutest dude is also into him , also he's like the king, you wonder... why can't he just accept the blessings the rest of us don't have?XD

But I think he struggles, like a lot of people, with his sexuality, and so he doesn't know really what to do.

Having said that, idk.... I feel like once they 'start sleeping in the same bed and have a child', there's a very clear innuendo that they're banging , but idk. The author keeps everything in a state of 'deniability' .

Which again... understandable.

You didn't read this from me, but def she's writing herself in Yuuri.

I think it's clear though, as the years go by, that she turns Yuuri and Wolf into a very solid couple with stories like Do you want an Exorcism, Crossheart, Misepan 2. Misepan 2 was released with the ending of the anime on DVD (2010s when she stopped writing), and Yuuri showing his love for Wolf in that story with the 'I would give you anything, Wolf' phrase, really sealed the deal for me.

After that we've gotten quite a few stories, and she even married them in It happens to everyone 2 and Shibuyas , two of the last stories that present them in the 'future'.

Like I said many times, they've been end-game for a while... it's just that no one noticed, cuz they're two guys.

[greg-montgomery]

Ivy - Part 10

gif by: @hotch-girl <3

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader (Sean Hotchner x Fem!Reader)

Series summary: Your relationship with your boyfriend, Sean, is going great. Well, that is until you meet his older brother, Aaron.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

my besties <333 i'm sorry it took me a while to update, but i'm here!! don't yell at me for not tagging anyone in this, no one gets notifications from me anymore, so there was no point. idk who is gonna see this without any tags but i'm posting it for the people who ask me about it and are waiting for an update 🥹 ilysm!!!!! this chaper is hurt/comfort and they're all gonna be okay! i promise!

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“I’m saying we should double the prize. A hundred thousand dollars for your one and only. Sounds fair to me.”

Spencer held the button of Garcia’s device so he could speak without being heard by the people on the other side of the phone. “Agree with him.”

Sean nodded, looking at his almost empty apartment, left alone now with only Spencer and Penelope.

“Fine. A hundred thousand dollars. Tell me the place and I’ll bring them to you,” he said with confidence.

“I’m not telling you the location more than half an hour before our meeting. Do you think I’m stupid?”

Yes, Sean wanted to say, but he held back. “Alright. I’ll have them ready by eight o’clock tonight.”

“Good. Wait for my call around that time then. Say goodbye to pretty Y/N for now,” the man’s mocking voice replied, before hanging up.

Sean closed his eyes, exhaling as if it was the first time he had breathed all day. “Jesus…”

“You did a great job,” Spencer said. “They think you’re gonna meet in the evening so they won’t attempt to move locations for now.”

Reid’s reassuring words were comforting, but the weight on his chest was still heavy. “I won’t feel okay until Aaron calls me and tells me he has her.”

You, in his brother’s arms. His greatest fear had somehow turned into his greatest wish. As long as you were safe, nothing else mattered to him.

--

Being tied up and alone in a basement left plenty of time for your thoughts to travel wherever they desired. At first, those thoughts were filled with Aaron, and Jack, and Sean. But after that last phone call, your fantasies had shifted. This time they were violent and they involved the chair you were currently sitting at, and you using it to hit your kidnappers in the face.

They had, at least, finally shut up and left the room; although you were certain they were still in the house. You closed your eyes to appreciate the silence before a loud bang disturbed your little moment of peace.

“FBI! Drop your weapons.”

Aaron.

Aaron was here.

You smiled. Aaron was here and it was all going to be okay.

You could hear loud noises and yells from the other room, but you couldn’t make out everything that was being said. Two sentences, though, arrived perfectly clear to your ears.

“Where is she?”

“Hotch, slow down, you’re gonna kill him.”

Listening to the mess that was taking place on the other side of the wall and not being able to see any of it was actively killing you, but that torture ended fast when the door opened and you finally got to see the love of your life after a day full of agony.

Your heart melted at the sight of him and the tears you didn’t know you still had inside you spilled.

“Baby…” you cried, as he rushed to get next you.

Derek and Emily followed him, still pointing with their guns. “There’s no one else here,” you informed them.

“Sweetheart…” Aaron’s voice got your attention again. He kneeled in front of you, and started untying you gently.

It was hard for you to get any words out, your voice choked by your sobs.

“I’m here now. You’re okay.” he said.

“You’re here.”

“I’m here. I got here on time,” he said, kissing your forehead. You weren’t sure if he was talking to you or himself. “I got here on time,” he repeated against your skin. “You’re alive, I wasn’t too late this time. I wasn’t too late.”

“What did you do to them?” you whispered.

“That’s not for you to worry about,” Aaron answered softly, helping you to stand up and then immediately lifting you up in his arms.

You could feel the eyes of his team on the two of you. You knew how it looked, yet you did not have the energy to care. You hid your face in the crook of his neck, holding onto one of the straps of his vest, as he walked you out of the building, protecting yourself from seeing the reason behind the blood that had stained the sleeves of his white shirt.

--

Getting checked up by the doctors didn’t take long since - besides the scars on your wrists and ankles by being tied up - there wasn’t a single scratch on your body.

You shut your eyes letting yourself surrender to the safety of being in Aaron’s car. He was talking on the phone with someone from his team, but you didn’t pay attention to what he was saying, his voice muffled with the sound of the few drops of rain that were falling on your windows, the soft melody coming from the radio, and the sound of the other cars passing. His hand was holding yours, resting on his lap. He squeezed it softly every few seconds as if to make sure you wouldn’t suddenly disappear.

“Sean…” you whispered.

“I called him. He knows you’re okay.”

“Good.” You smiled, and finally dozed off.

--

Your nose was buried in something soft. A hand was playing with your hair and the sweet feeling of sleep was taking over your body, but you resisted it. Where were you?

Your eyes fluttered open, being met with the fabric of a gray t-shirt. Turning your body to lay on your back and looking up, you saw a pair of brown eyes staring at you sweetly.

“What time is it?” you asked, not recognizing your own voice.

“It’s four in the morning.”

“Four?” You palmed your forehead and closed your eyes, feeling tired and confused.

“I know you needed to shower and eat, but I didn’t wanna wake you,” he explained himself. “How are you feeling?”

“My throat is dry.”

“Here.” Aaron offered you the glass of water that was sitting on the table right in front of the couch you were laying at.

The feeling of the cool water down your throat was worth a million dollars.

“I feel like shit,” you said, handing back to him the now empty glass.

“Wanna take a shower?” he suggested. “Then we can eat something. I cooked.”

You nodded.

You didn’t have the energy to talk; you didn’t have the energy to cry. And you felt immeasurably grateful it was Aaron that you were with. Someone who understood you, someone you didn’t need to fake it with.

He led you to the bathroom and quietly removed your clothes. An action he had done before, but this time there was nothing sexual in his movements. There wasn’t lust in his eyes. Only care and worry.

“That’s it,” he whispered, as you stepped into the shower. He made sure the temperature of the water was perfect and then he placed the shower head above you so the water would be poured all over you. After a few moments, he opened the shampoo bottle, and dropped some of the product on his open palm. The feeling of his fingers scratching your scalp was what broke you.

Your sobs were soft and your tears blended with the shower water. Still, it wasn’t hard to miss that you were crying. But Aaron didn’t acknowledge it, giving you the space you needed, even though he was right next to you. Just when you thought it was impossible to love him more, he made you fall for him even harder.

“I love you,” you attempted to say, not sure if the words even came out.

“I love you,” he answered, cupping your cheeks. His lips touched yours, the kiss light as a feather; a reminder that he was right there and he loved you.

Aaron moved onto washing your body, his touch reaching every single inch of you, washing away every reminder of that experience.

His clothes had gotten wet and some parts even had soap on them, so you figured it was okay if you did something that would make an even bigger mess. When he was done rinsing all the soap of your body and hair, you opened your arms and pulled him into a tight hug. You held him as close as possible to your body and Aaron lost no time before wrapping his arms around you protectively.

“Thank you for saving me.”

“Thank you for coming back to me.”

--

“Your hair is still wet. You’re gonna catch a cold,” Aaron said from the kitchen, as you made yourself comfortable on his couch. You were dressed entirely in his clothes, seeking comfort in every little thing of his.

He walked towards you, with a bawl of soup and his famous Aaron Hotchner disapproving stare. He didn’t fight you, though, letting you settle in his arms even with wet hair, and fed you the soup he had prepared when you were asleep.  

“Baby?” he said, carefully, as you devoured the food.

“Mmm?”

“Are you feeling okay enough to call Sean now?”

His question took you by surprise.

“He asked me if you could call him at some point,” he explained. “He wants to hear your voice.”

“Of course,” you said. “I’m an idiot for not thinking of it earlier. I should have called him as soon as I woke up.”

“No, you’re not. You went through a lot today.”

“Still.”

You were in the middle of dialing his number when you realized what time it actually was. “Aaron, the sun is not even up yet. Isn’t he probably sleeping now?”

Aaron’s gaze dropped on his lap, in what you figured was guilt. “He said he wouldn’t sleep until he heard your voice. He…he thinks all of this is his fault.”

“It’s not.”

“I know. But you know Sean.”

“Yeah…I do.”

As hypocritical as it sounded, you both shared a love for Sean that you were afraid he would rightfully not accept. Sean would beat himself up for what happened to you, and you would not let that happen. You had already damaged his heart enough.

Part 11

[himluv]

DA Review Series - The Stolen Throne by David Gaider

Since I finished my original fiction novel at the end of February, I've started replaying the Dragon Age games and the long process of re-reading all the Media Tie-Ins. I thought, since I'm doing all of this, I might as well share my thoughts along the way.

I'm following this list that I made last year, if you'd like to follow along :). Now, onto the review!

Title: The Stolen Throne Author: David Gaider Publication Year: 2009 In-World Year: ~8:96 Blessed to ~9:00 Dragon (there are discrepancies) Verdict: Skip. There isn't any real lore value here, and it's mostly just teen angst wrapped in sexism.

The Stolen Throne is a prequel to Dragon Age: Origins, which introduces us to teenaged Maric Theirin just after his mother has been assassinated. The book follows Maric and his friends over the course of about four years as they lead a rebellion to free Ferelden from Orlesian occupation. We also meet young Loghain MacTir and Rowan Guerrin – both important figures to the Ferelden we experience in DA:O.

Unfortunately, I don't have much good to say about this book. I first read it in 2011, and remember really liking it then. I was 21, and while a voracious reader, I was not a reader of much Fantasy at the time. I've grown a lot since then, and this book does not age well.

I tried to re-read it in 2020 and couldn't finish it. I tried again in 2023 and, again, abandoned it. But this year, while playing DA:O I was able to slog through it and FINALLY finish it.

So, why was it such a slog?

The writing is, uh, bad. Just, on a basic prose level, this feels like a rough draft. Adjectives and adverbs run rampant over this book. Descriptions are winding and don't always make sense. The amount of times I rolled my eyes while reading this book, y'all. It was a lot.

But, if the story had been good enough, I could have overlooked the bumbling execution. The problem is, the story isn't all that compelling. Yes, I expected the overthrowing of Thedas's most influential political force to be an exciting read. Instead, this book isn't so much about the politics of Thedas and the tolls of war, but about... love triangles? Quadrangles?

Without getting lost in the details, basically Maric is betrothed to Rowan, but Loghain loves Rowan. And Maric is in love with Katriel (which is a whole 'nother problematic can of worms) and cheats on Rowan. And Rowan... is upset about this, but I don't really know why because she doesn't love Maric. And she sleeps with Loghain, but also.... I don't think she loves him either? IDK, man. None of it made sense.

And that is the crux of this book. So little of the characters' motivations made sense. And so much of the book hinged on those supposed motivations and feelings. But they didn't make sense – at least, not to me.

Sadly, there wasn't much lore to be gained from this book, either. we learn a little about Maric and his mother Moira. A little about Loghain, but even what I did learn didn't make me more sympathetic to him. He's still a dick. In fact, the only characters I did like were Rowan and Katriel, both of whom are dead by the end of the book. Neither of whom had any real power over their own lives. In fact! When Katriel attempted to flex what little power she did have, Maric KILLED her. And he supposedly loved her??? No. Uh-huh. And Loghain basically goaded him into it, so they both suck.

The one good thing from this is I think it does make the Orelsian hate in DA:O more believable. When the Warden comes on the scene, it's only been ~30 years since Maric and Loghain ousted Orlais. People are still living and working who fought in these battles, who lived under occupation. So, that's some good context. Don't think we needed over 400 pages of misogyny to get it, though.

David Gaider wrote two more Dragon Age novels, so wish me luck. I think I'm going to need it...

[florallylly]

side a: eddie munson

side a

side b side b: steve harrington

explanation post

just going to go straight to my very very stream of consciousness commentary about each song but i want to clarify that i'm an eddie munson is dirty and gross truther and also i hate that rat man (endearing). so yes it might play into some of my thoughts

some songs are kind of vibe-y and you can tell when my explanations start getting contrived and bad but bear with me. i DO have some specific keystone songs idc KEYSTONE i love the word ok anyway

“I” Black Sabbath; eddie munson you are a LOSER with OPINIONS we get it. like yes you are so persecuted by everyone sure you’re going to prove us all wrong 

“Heaven and Hell” Black Sabbath; tbh added to match with heaven/hell in the other playlist, but somehow it’s kind of giving munson doctrine to me. literally googled and supposedly it’s about like band kids (??) but i think just like “the world is full of kings and queens/who blind your eyes and steal your dreams” i can literally hear eddie munson quoting it

“Fade to Black” Metallica; UGH why are there so many long periods of silence at the beginning and end of these songs. but just adding to the eddie munson i’m so outcast bad boy drug dealer thing and like. had to have metallica

“I Don’t Wanna Be Me” Type O Negative; idk if anyone can tell that i think eddie is a big dramatic loser who thinks he’s the main character (endearing?) like I AM RIGHT… 

“skins” The Haunting; okay this song is saur…. like normal people scare me i’m such a freak coded

“Nosferatu” Blue Oyster Cult; a nod to Eddie Munson being a BIG LOSER NERD. ugh whatever honestly parallels a lot of kas theory fic imo, like innocent maiden steve offering his blood to vampire eddie … why have i read it several times over. in my head, this is like. eddie munson having a dirty dirty loser fantasy about king steve 

“Teenage Dirtbag” Wheatus; need I say more………. 

“The Sun Always Shines on T.V.” a-ha; yeah… YEAH. it’s a steve song on here. i like tried to do this thing where on each playlist there are keystone songs and this is one of them. like, the song that’s in the other’s genre is the moment they fall in love even if they don’t realize it yet. but re: the song like it’s so eddie having this realization that when he was picturing king steve, he only saw him through snapshots and now that he’s live and an actual tangible human it’s different. like  LIKE

“18” Anarbor; tbh i am trying so hard to add some of these songs bc they are so quintessential to me and my connection of music to fandom, BUT IDK…. ITS HARD…. but yeah it’s very steve harrington would never really want to be with me, i’m such a bad boy. okay….  

“Poison” Alice Cooper; eddie munson ur horny . eddie munson we’re sworn enemies like ur a jock and i’m a nerd and like could i light my cigarette with ur cock please please 

“Falling In Love” Scorpions; “falling in love, it happens to me every day” okay eddie munson i did NOT see u doodling hearts around steve’s name in the fourth grade

“Around the Fur” Deftones; i do not know why but for some reason feeling like steve still hanging around his old crowd, and eddie getting all weird about it. IDK !! does it not just feel so eddie munson

“Closet” Fleshwater; an interlude-y song here kind of an angsty moment for eddie 

“I Was Made For Loving You” KISS; SECOND KEYSTONE SONG…. this song signals the first time they sleep together. i am so sorry eddie munson but this music actually DOES give me migraines but i tried very hard  

“Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)” Deftones; eddie’s dreams about leaving hawkins and becoming famous. just in general his wishes to be somewhere he’s wanted and where he belongs. idk i feel like it’s eddie talking about all of these grand plans for his future and turning to steve and being like “and what about you?” and steve doesn’t have an answer.

“Covet” Basement; “you are everything/my most demanding dream” like like like eddie munson loving and hating that he’s in love with steve harrington who is hawkins to the bone and seems determined to die there. 

“Ghosts” Scarlet House; in my head this is eddie munson angsting after seeing steve hanging around nancy wheeler or robin buckley depending on when exactly we’re setting this. but it’s very woe is me i’m lost without you. idk it could literally even just be they fought and steve is at the grocery store chilling and eddie munson is literally frothing at the mouth sobbing in his van 

“Saturnine Saturnalia” VV; “there is no end to the hurting/i love you” saturnalia was a roman festival where they indulged in mischief and partying and whatnot. feeling like at this point, even if it’s fake, even if it ends up hurting me, i’ll take whatever i can get kind of feeling. maybe it’s like realizing he won’t be free of hawkins unless he lets go of steve or thinking that he’s just a stop on the way to a white picket fence. and i think that maybe this is the moment when eddie begins to realize how deeply he feels for steve.

“Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want” Deftones; PLEASE LET THE MAN GET WHAT HE WANTS !!! FOR ONCE !!! he is out here every single day dealing drugs PLEASE give him a sexy passenger princess to come with him on deals

“Black Butterflies and Deja Vu” The Maine; ik it’s a jump scare but KEYSTONE SONG…. the moment when they admit they’ve fallen in love. this is their aha moment. their AHA! moment not a-ha… but yeah…. eddie munson finally being like wait i’m in love with steve harrington and idk for how long but i’m in trouble

the future holds IDK ... just this part took me this long so PLEASE spare me i literally wrote this out on my notes app

[lipslikethegardensofbabylon]

#ttpd analysis day nine - Guilty As Sin?

there are not enough words to convey how in love i am with the repeated motif of love being a religion. ex, sacred prayer i was there, stained glass windows in my mind, we bless the rains on Cornelia street, lord save me, etc etc etc. it’s difficult to neatly identify all of the lyrics this track parallels but the two primary songs are False God and ivy. this is one of my fave tracks she’s ever done and my only hot take is that this should’ve been a track 13. without further ado -

drowning in the Blue Nile - this line is genius for all of the implications, yes it’s a band, it’s also that (continued) metaphor for depression (ocean wave blues, I’m with you even if it makes me blue, etc), and in discussing with @aslowmotionlovepotion she also said denial is not just a river in egypt

falling back into the hedge maze is one of my favorite lyrics, there’s something so deeply romantic to me about falling (or as she says, crashing) fully into someone and getting tangled up/lost in the feelings. if you follow the imagery and previous tracks she basically describes being lost at sea, clinging (even white knuckling) the raft, and it’s almost like she comes to shore and enters this Alice in Wonderland type labyrinth as partially a reprieve but there’s also this residual guilt (am I allowed to cry?). I just love the imagery; she describes something lush and green when she could’ve described it more clinically like a chess game as she did in Dear John. idk it just speaks volumes to me. continuing with the lush imagery, the song parallels a lot of ivy

one slip and falling back into the hedge maze /your ivy grows and now I'm covered

oh, what a way to die, I keep recalling things we never did/I'd live and die for moments that we stole

my boredom’s bone-deep/I’d meet you where the spirit meets the bones

these fatal fantasies/I wish to know the fatal flaw

If it’s make believe/I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland

what if I roll the stone away/my house of stone

it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it/my sheets are ablaze

also the religious imagery and the False God (my other beloved) parallels are just

throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks/we were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us

oh, what a way to die/remember how I said I'd die for you?

why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?/we might just get away with it

religion's in your lips/messy top lip kiss

the altar is my hips/what if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh?

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?/I know heaven's a thing, I go there when you touch me

I choose you and me religiously/even if it's a false god, we'd still worship this love

I keep these longings locked in lowercase, inside a vault could be directly referring to folkmore. it could also be journal entries, poetry, or woodvale! (jk about the last part, lol). but i think the most obvious connection would be to loml on the same album, there are also religious lyrics within that track, but in going through the album I’m trying not to fully discuss later tracks until it’s their turn in the tracklist.

i also want to include this little bit

"La petite mort", from French: Small death, is an expression meaning "short loss or weakening of consciousness / consciousness".

it’s interesting considering the sex/orgasm euphemism and how closely it follows the repeated glimmers of death in Guilty As Sin? these fatal fantasies/building up like waves crashing over my grave/oh, what a way to die/they're gonna crucify me anyway

ending it with the dreamy am I allowed to cry? also reminds me of gold rush which “takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it”

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time! last night we watched voy's "day of honor" and "nemesis."

day of honor:

this one was...fine. i like tom paris more since he didn't fuck b'elanna but i don't always like how he talks to her

at the same time, even though it is both racist and fantasy racist to give your latina klingon character the temper, b'elanna DOES snap at people a lot and i can't exactly blame tom for taking offense, ESPECIALLY since most of his recent episodes have just him being perfectly normal like "omg hey how did your klingon thing go :)" "SHUT UP, TOM!!!1!1!!"

but also, if this was her big "i love you" moment, i feel like we could have had a better buildup than them having the same argument they've had for the last couple of tom and b'elanna episodes which is b'elanna telling tom to leave her alone in all capital letters over anything from a minor offensive to something that's legit and tom going "damn b'elanna if you keep pushing me away then yeah i'll stop trying [doesn't stop trying]"

i did like b'elanna's realization here at the end that she was a coward emotionally even if she was willing to throw down. women's wrongs!! it just felt like it didn't have enough buildup and what buildup there was was old ground

also did not like the aliens this episode. the prosthetics are always jaw-droppingly impressive, but they are not necessarily unhorrible to look at. furthermore, janeway was like yeah man we'll give you as much food as we can possibly spare and these aliens were like damn thats it? you guys suck! kind of a dick move.

nemesis:

i know other people like this episode, but...eugh.

the alien language could have been good. i think the way they talked about time was neat. in the soonafter or the wayafter. other times it was just replacing words with other words, like "smart" and "sharp." i get what they were doing, slowly having chakotay speak it alongside them, but it was a little much

also like...you can say they raped people without having this soldier ACTUALLY TOUCH this little 8 year old's face in a suggestive manner. jesus

like...yes, hate bad, you are not immune to propaganda, and we love to see chakotay have problems, but the first half of this episode was boring and the second half was a little heavy-handed

that said, i do really conceptually like giving chakotay a baby, especially since we got baby-baited back in season 2. i just wish the circumstances had been more fun

i also did really like that it was tuvok who went in after him and tuvok whomst he almost shot AND tuvok who successfully talked him down. i want them to hate fuck so so so so so so bad <3

this episode could have been good but idk the execution just didn't do it for me. it has been awhile since we traumatized chakotay though and i can't wait for the next one

TONIGHT: voy's "revulsion" and "the raven."

[xxbimbobunnyxx]

1. 2. 4. 8. 10. 11. 14. 17. 32. 33. 46.

This or that?

3. 6. 10. 16. 21.

For people with vaginas

1. 4.

ILYSM! This is so many questions I’m so sorry!!!

Hiii baby🤭

1 - What are the ideal nudes that someone could send you? With girls seriously I’m such a fucking simp if you send me a picture of your thigh or some side boob I’m gonna go crazy. But ideal I love ass pics omfg, tiddy pics too. Like a tiddy pic but your hand covering your nipples? So hot. For guys? Send me a video of you busting a nut or of you pulling your boxers down and your cock popping out or keep itttt.

2 - Have you ever humped a pillow until you came? Would you? Yes, not since I was like way younger but I definitely have lol. Would I now? Yes, preferably with someone watching me and saying shit like “oh look how pathetic you are, you’re so desperate you’re gonna cum just from humping your little pillow?” Phew whoa, new fantasy unlocked. Did I just come up with a fic idea rn?

4 - Genie granted you three NSFW wishes. What are you wishing for?

• I’m definitely gonna have to jump on that Steddie threesome train.

• Also I’m agreeing with you on having a girl sit on my face while I get railed… (you, me, & Eddie when?)

•VAMPIRE SEX I WANNA FUCK I VAMPIRE AND GET MY BLOOD DRANK IDC!!!

8 - Something you never did in bed and would love to do? I wanna squirt so bad but I just can’t idk how? One day I will I’m determined.

14 - What kink/fantasy of yours are you the most embarrassed about? Why? Hmmm I’m not necessarily embarrassed but I know a lot of people are as into pet play but god I wanna be someone’s lil pet so bad. Or even like slave idc. Just put me in a cage honestly. Ownership kink is craaazy.

17 - What body part would you worship on other people to the end of time because NGHHHH? On guys? Handssss just ugh, I love hands. Girls though? Thighs, ass, tummy. Literally in the whole entire body an option?

32 - What is your most unusual turn on? Honestly when people info dump about things they love it’s so cute/hot to me. Like I just want to tackle them and make out with them and fuck them and let them still talk about it.

33 - Do you have some songs you wanna get railed to? Listen… getting railed to deftones? Life changing. Getting railed to the QOTD soundtrack? Mind altering.

46 - What scent you find arousing? Oooh with girls I really like sweet scents, but also if you smell like essential oils and like you’re gonna know my life story based on my astrology chart? That’s hot too. With men I like more musky scents. Honestly overall though? I’m gross and I like the scent of peoples natural musk/pheromones.

This or that?

Ropes or Cuffs? I’ve never used ropes before, so I’ll say cuffs since I’ve used them and liked them. I’d like to try ropes though.👀

Creampie or Throatpie? CREAMPIE ALLLL THE WAAAAY!! I’m getting my tubes removed on Thursday and I can’t wait to get FILLEDDD y’all.😩

Forever watch porn or Forever read porn? Definitely read, all the way. Or listen to it. Audioporn is 😩🫨

Multiple orgasms vs Orgasm denial? Fuuuck I’m gonna say multiple bc I love overstimulation like hold me tf down and make me cum again.

Bites vs Slaps? Bites for sure, I love biting omfg. But I love some good slaps don’t get me wrong.

Questions for vagina owners

Do you like your clit touched? How is it best? Yes fuuuck I love it, I like having it sucked but if I’m getting it rubbed I like it wet and kinda light but quick. Idk if that makes sense LMAO.

What’s the nicest compliment you ever got about your vagina? What you think should be complimented on it? That it’s pretty, that it’s the tightest they’ve ever fucked. She’s cute or whateva we Stan her.

[melloncollliegirl]

🌷 may questionnaire challenge 🌷

(i did these a while ago but forgot to post it)

1. How did your relationship start? Was it you who did most of the initiating?

i first met her on introduction day but we didn’t talk, then on the first day of classes we were the first one in the class so she initiated a convo with me and some friends

2. How often do you think about them?

too often like a lot A LOT

3. What kind of weather matches their vibes? What about yours?

she’s such a fall person. she just radiates that coziness and her red hair perfectly matches the leaves. i am probably a spring person

4. May the fourth be with you! Do they have a favorite movie franchise? Do you?

i’m not sure if she has a favourite franchise but i know she loves horror movies (like me). i love the hunger games and the scream franchises

5. Do you have a playlist dedicated to them? what are your favorite songs on it?

i do!! my favourite songs on it are 1979 by the smashing pumpkins (one of our favourite bands, hence my username), just like heaven by the cure and first time by hozier

6. What's your go to fantasy/day dream about them?

it varies a lot but really i just dream about spending a day with her, getting to hug her and hold her hand, lay in her lap etc

7. If you had the opportunity, would you go on a date with them? (If they're married/taken, imagine their partner is out of the picture) If so, what would you want to do?

YES no question, i’d wanna do something with movies or music cause it fits us

8. Do you dress up on the days you see them? How so?

i do🫠 i like to put on an outfit i feel very pretty in, that gives off vibes that fully fit me. and i do my makeup a bit better and when i arrive at school i make sure to fix it up. and i wear a lot of jewellery

9. What's your favorite memory with them?

a certain class given by another lecturer but she sat next to me and we joked around

10. Have you ever thought about a future with them?

i’ve day dreamt about it, but i know it’ll obviously never happen

11. Does she give you physical affection?

nope

12. Happy Mother's Day to all who celebrate!

Have they ever told you anything about their family? Have you told them about yours?

she doesn’t know anything about mine but i know she has a daughter, a boyfriend and a sister

13. Do any of your classmates have a crush your tc?

no thankfully lol

14. What's something you wished they knew about you without you having to tell them?

my name??? idk😭 my other teachers have talked about me so im hoping she picked something up

15. If your tc was invited to a wedding and asked you to be their plus one, what would you wear, and what would you want to see them in? (Theme of the wedding is up to you, so you can choose your outfits)

i would wear the most beautiful silk dress and i would like to see her in a suit, probably dark blue because that’s her favourite colour and with some nice jewellery

16. Do you have any photos of them? Either those that you've found on their social media or ones you've taken yourself?

i have some i took from the school social media account and i have one postcard that she’s also on which i got from another lecturer. i also have a picture i took in class of her when she was explaining something (she doesn’t mind)

17. Have you ever listened to break up songs/love songs and thought of them?

all the time i love crying ✌🏻

18. What style/haircut/tattoos/facial hair/etc do you think would suit them best?

i love her current hairstyle it fits her so well. she has some tattoos and i love them, id love for her to get more. i know every arm tattoo she has and where they are by memory. my fav is a swallow

19. Which color would you assign the feelings they give you? (Ex: happy → yellow or something bright)

like a beautiful sunset orange!!

20. Which decade would they be best in? How about you? (Based on fashion, technology, art, music, the fun stuff.)

80s/90s for us both! love the music

21. Have you ever run into them in public? (Or tried to?) How did it go?

i haveee once, and it was the best thing ever. i was walking around in the city and i just ran into her. i had been debating going home early but thankfully i didn’t!! i was genuinely freaking out and couldn’t stop smiling lol

22. What pushed you to create your blog?

i’ve been crushing on her for a while and while i’ve been writing about her in my journal, it was nice to communicate with other people going through the same thing, i felt very seen :)

23. If you could know anything about your tc, what would it be?

if she’s into women, like at all 😶

24. How do you think you'd react if they confessed their feelings to you?

i honestly don’t know. i think she would find it strange cuz we aren’t that close but she might find it brave that id tell her?

25. Have you ever done/read/watched/listened to something you may not have been interested in because they like it?

while we listen to a lot of the same bands, she recommended one in an insta page i’d never listened to before. i love especially one song now, but the rest i can’t really get into

26. If your tc was your age, would you date them? Do they have any red flags?

i would even tho i have a massive weakness for older women. also shes the greenest flag ever

27. If your life was a book series/tv series/movie and you had a fan base, would your fans realistically ship you and your tc? (Got this one from TikTok lol because I love the thought)

maaaaybe, it would probably be so obvious i’m into her so i guess

28. What's something that always makes you think of them?

a bunch of music/bands/vinyls, the colour dark blue, swallows, cherry’s

29. Let's chat for a sec! What's something you've been dying to talk about regarding your tc?

our favourite bands!!! we got loads in common and she doesn’t even know

30. Do you flirt with them? If so, how??

i just stare at them trying to look pretty😔

31. What's something you're manifesting happening between you two? (If you don't manifest, what's something you hope happens?)

i’m manifesting getting into her class again in september and for her to remember me:3

[musecraft]

alright ! i've had a full 24+ hours to Process — which may have involved a bottle of prosecco ( i don't drink btw ) & going through a few waves of tears — & i'm here ready to talk about the finale. of.md spoilers below the cut, obviously !

some things i actually did like ( a short list ) :

the plot on paper. the beats of a good story were there but it was so rushed through & poorly executed that it just felt messy, unearned, slapped together.

ed thinking stede is dead & disassociating so hard he goes on a rampage & murders several of the soldiers in very sexy ways, ie: bayonet flip. also ed coming out of the ocean like aphrodite, ready to murder in his black leather. slay.

jim & archie kissing Like That before going to battle. also jim throwing knives from in the trees. very hot, powerful trans energy there, i really enjoyed it.

unfortunately everyone on the crew looked very sexy in stolen navy uniforms.

spanish "you best believe everyone in this household is poison trained" jackie.

zheng existing ( i would like to formally request a whole show about her )

stede yelling 'for love !' when attacking the british. romantic stede my beloved.

most of izzy's main dialogue — especially telling ricky that what really matters about piracy is belonging to something in a world that has told you that you are worth nothing. & yes, even most of of his conversation with ed. izzy telling him it's ok to just be ed ? killed me. & blackbeard was both of us ? don't even. i did want him to apologize to ed properly & am still glad that he did but be careful what you ask your god for am i right.

the final panning shot of the crew on the revenge. beautiful shot despite it all.

issues i had ( a longer list ) :

the editing ? why so many harsh cuts ? the way it was spliced together only contributed to the chaotic & disjointed feeling. & of course, the pacing. i think these two issues are connected & probably not the fault of the writers themselves. the show clearly really needed all 10 episodes to do what it really wanted to do, & this finale is just begging for that lost hour of screentime.

it wasn't even a good fuckery lol.

i wish lucius & pete's wedding had been... idk, just more. something more akin to calypso's birthday, a proper celebration for them. i also wish they would have given an indication they're still poly. "i now pronounce you mateys" was good tho.

ed apologizing & saying i love you & stede not doing either one in return. stede not being sappy in his irl fantasy ? impossible, im really confused by that choice.

0 resolution for stede's entire arc ? 0 indication of self reflection on his part ? & thus no resolution for the primary conflict of the show's central relationship ? they didn't even talk about their future, it just cut to them standing there & stede saying "so i guess we're innkeepers now" as if that's all he would have had to say about that ? i know that this show handwaves away a lot of things, like travel times & the realities of sailing, but i thought the story was literally about this relationship, & we don't get to see them decide on what their future together will look like. it's framed as stede just kinda going along with ed's latest whim ( since you know, they've always worked out soooo well for him in the past ) even though it's the exact opposite of what he's been moving towards personally lately, all without even saying a word about it ? i'm not even saying that i don't like this ending, but it just again felt so unearned.

very little actual resolution for ed's arc. his whole deal this season was about deciding who he wants to be, but he flip flops every time something doesn't go his way & the episode gave us no reason to think that would be different now with their inn. also he just killed a bunch of soldiers after having serious trauma surrounding the act of killing throughout the entire series, but i guess we're just supposed to believe that's ok, he's totally fine, he's an innkeeper now ! (will say more on this topic in the final section.)

poly things not being handled well or outright forgotten about. like olu / jim / archie / zheng has all the potential in the world for a beautiful poly love story & we barely got to see them interact together at all. & to think i was all :eyes: when izzy was dubbed the unicorn because i actually thought for a few episodes there that they might be doing the same thing for polyamory in s2 that they had done for queerness in s1, showing the audience that it's ok to see ourselves in stories & not just on the fringes, we're not stupid or freaks reading into something that isn't there. but turns out, it wasn't there, & i was the freak & the clown all along. live & learn.

the elephant in the room ( rip izzy you beautiful freak ) :

here's the thing. obviously i was never going to be happy that they killed my most favoritest old man. the fact that he's dead just when he found something real to live for is literally heartbreaking to me. but i could have swallowed it as a natural & important part of the narrative if one small thing was done differently: izzy could have had an actual sacrifice. & not for ed, but for the crew. after his speech about living for the crew, him choosing to act in a way that compromised his safety but earned their freedom would have felt like a completion of his arc. but instead it was a stray bullet to the left side which he earned in stede's so-called suicide mission ( don't even get me started on that line given where izzy started this season ), an injury which the show has told us previously is 100% survivable.

in the crew sacrifice scenario izzy could have acted as the symbol of piracy itself, a way of life that is dying. he is, after all, The Pirate (aside from blackbeard himself) on the show. & he has a history of letting shit slide that kinda doesn't align with the way of life they're trying to build on the revenge, not just in s1 but also in the scene with lucius in s2 ("& you? are you happy with all this?" "well, this is a pirate ship, & i'm a pirate so... yeah, i'm good with it.") ricky says they are at "the end of piracy" & izzy is the last REAL pirate (including ed because at this point as he is moving away from that life). & as izzy himself says in s1, "the only retirement we get is death." izzy also shows pretty intense self-preservation, & most of his shitty actions in s1 are motivated by often misplaced survival instincts, ("i'm not dying. not for you & not for that ponce,") so having him go against this longstanding character trait to protect the crew would have felt earned after his dramatic growth. it could have worked. it still would have hurt, but it could have worked.

instead, the way it is actually framed, the narrative actively robs izzy of this symbolism & instead makes his death entirely about ed & ed's relationship to piracy. having him die in a random incident & then having his death scene be followed up by ed finally "officially" (for the third time) giving up piracy honestly flattens everything i find interesting about them as characters & their dynamic to each other.

ed & izzy have very clearly been in clearly a mutually toxic codependent relationship (platonic or otherwise) for decades, but the framing of izzy's death being the only thing that can free ed from piracy (& blackbeard) turns izzy from a complex character of his own into a 2-dimensional plot device. & if izzy truly couldn't exist without blackbeard, then it would make sense — but we've just seen that he can, actually ! that he is a person outside of that relationship, despite what he himself thought for most of his life ! that they can both exist outside of them, & there is a very real possibility that neither of them actually need blackbeard anymore. so instead his death feels cruel to me. & because we know this is the show where injuries simply don't matter unless we need them to, we know that this was a conscious choice, that the writers genuinely felt he had to die for the story (ed's story) to continue.

& you know, that's fair on some level. he's the lead after all. but i also think this framing is actually kind of reductive to ed's character ! i don't write ed, but part of what makes him so compelling to me is that he is... kinda a "bad person," but he wants to be better. he's extremely complex. he has trauma & big feelings & he doesn't always act on them in the right way. & he feels guilt & remorse — he knows he has done wrong in the past & wants to be better, even if he doesn't always know how. & izzy has admittedly been an obstacle to him reaching that end in the past, but to frame it as if ed's actions were because of izzy, & actually izzy was making ed be blackbeard & manipulating him into doing bad things that he didn't really want to do, then i guess now that izzy is dead ed is free to skip off into the sunset happily ever after with his man ! the bad influence in his life finally gone, so he is all healed ! never mind that his most recent return to piracy & killing spree as blackbeard had literally nothing to do with izzy & everything to do with thinking he'd lost stede again. never mind that ed's trauma has its roots in things that happened to him before izzy (his father) & things that also happened to izzy (hornigold). nope, izzy was the real shackle all along. he has to die so ed can be free, & he only ever existed solely to develop ed's pain. that's what this narrative feels like. & i just... don't like the taste of it on any level. izzy says himself that blackbeard was both of them. so why does izzy have to die while ed gets to move on, given they both have shown the capacity to do so ?

the bit that i think i like least about how it's executed is izzy saying "i want to go," especially considering how he & ed are both shown to be actively suicidal in the opening of the season, & he has since started to regain his self confidence from that lowest point. & maybe that line could be read as him just trying to soothe ed in the moment, but idk, it rubbed me the wrong way for him to say he still wanted to die when in fact he had just found something he actually wanted to live for.

so ! i think that's all i have to say about that ! if you've made it this far, thanks for reading ! i'll be working today on writing up a basic canon divergence for both stede & izzy, since i don't like how either of them ended the season out. sorry, but stede's simply not ready to give up pirating just yet, even for ed. & in my head, izzy is fine because he was shot on the left side & "science" tells us there's nothing important in that half of the body anyway. : )

[aella-targaryen]

I guess for me it depends on the context of how he calls her “weak” by frustration but idk if I still like it. I think the writers were trying to make a parallel with him calling viserys weak. I’m just mostly nervous because this is the last episode before season 2 and who knows if the writers are going to mess it up with mysaria or even nettles. Ryan doesn’t seem to like them either with the way he said daemon abused rhaenrya and it’s shapes her to how she is so I wouldn’t be surprised if he ruins the relationship moving forward. Also apparently they don’t talk about it afterwards according to the leaks which is weird in my opinion and how he doesn’t apologize. I’m sure we’ll get the context of why he wants to go to war in the scene but idk… I can’t help but be nervous cus this could be the downfall of their relationship. Who knows if we’ll get any touching moments anymore

DAEMON AND THE ABSOLUTE LOVE.

Well, there is a possibility that their romantic relationship will end, yes.

Which would be stupid considering that Daemyra is the best couple ever created in the entire GOT universe.

And yet one thing I've learned from Daemon is that: Once he loves someone, he loves that person forever. Just like he did with Viserys.

The more I analyze Daemon the more I am convinced that the fundation of his emotions is not romantic love, the fundation of his emotions is absolute love. That kind of love that exists only for itself, regardless of any relationship and appreciates all aspects of the people Its directed to. Daemon will always be what Rhaenyra needs: her husband, her lover, the father of her children, her consort, her family, her soldier, her uncle, or her warrior. She just has to ask him honestly and if he opposes her wishes I think he will be to protect her or their family.

His romantic feelings for Rhaenyra are only the effect and not the cause of his absolute love for her. Daemon will never stop loving Rhaenyra no matter what happens and whatever she does.

We have all been somehow contaminated with Disney fantasies and children's fairy tales where the prince always has to profess his love with dramatic speeches, kisses or sexual acts and emotional talks of apology if he offends his delicate princess.

But we usually forget that those things are not the only ones that show that a person truly loves us.

Still, unfortunately we always hurt those we absolutely love, sometimes in irreparable ways that cause us to take differents ways . And that's fine. We should never stay close to someone who hurts us. But but we can always love someone from the distance, even if we never see them again but, if our hearts allow it, we can always love someone who has hurt us.

Honestly, at the moment, romance is the last thing I care about Daemyra. Yes, I enjoy it. But I can also enjoy true and unconditional love stories even if there is no romance involved.

I understand that there are many who do not like that idea. So don't feel bad if the course of their story disappoints you. Trust me, I have experienced the same situation and the truth is that no one has ever died for disappointment. It is better not to take things so seriously, after all it is only a television series. I am sure that at some point you will find a couple in fiction that you completely like.

And i don't think Daemon will ever apologize in words for his actions. He seems more like the kind of person who apologizes only through his actions.

He never told Viserys "I'm sorry"

And for that reason his relationship with his brother was "ruined" ?

[copsecore]

My Thoughts About Hot Boi Summer ‘23:

CW/TW: i will be non-specifically AND specifically referencing at least semi-nsfw content so please dont read if that doesn’t fly with you in any way, please be responsible!

[PSA: THIS IS MY OWN OPINION OKAY - AND I MEAN NONE OF IT WITH ANY MALICE - TY]

DAVID:

Holy shit what the fuck this was Amazing (im referencing the poll on this post because erik did the results on stream, so yeah). David was in my top three picks for the poll and I was gutted that he didn’t seem to get very high - but i think that’s coz it was the first video, so maybe people had forgotten about it/it wasn’t as much in the forefront of the majority’s minds by the time the poll was released. Pretty much no negative thoughts.

VINCENT:

WE NEED MORE CUTE 7/11 DATES OKAY PLEASE ITS SO SWEET. Ofc the snack puns coming in Clutch ugh i loved those. My only issue (“issue”) was literally the same as why i wasn’t over the moon when sam was voted for the ba (sue me. i liked it anyway) and that was just that we had a vincent one a few months ago, and also a pretty pre-sexual vid after that. Also the fact that lovely literally grabbed his junk in semi-(hah, pun)public, but it’s the anti-PDA in me that disliked that part, so feel free to ignore it!

AVIOR:

Also in my top picks!!! I was a tad gutted when we didn’t get his. Saw a lot of posts begging for people to vote for it because yk him n starlight have been in literal Hell for years and therefore they deserve some smut time. Super cute vid, “A Romantic Night” is totally the right descriptor for it and also AYO WHIMPERY AVIOR??? YES. sorry ahem it’s the demons.

GAVIN:

It was so good. The premise of getting a more subby gavin? chef’s kiss, more please. everything about it was good and i WISH the ba had been how i expected it to go, but we aren’t here for my criticisms of That, so whatever. It links back to an old non-canon Huxley preview vid that was taken from us (RIP) when the channel lost loads of vids, or at least thats what it reminded me of, with the whole BBQ-and-somewhat-sexual-teasing aspect it was amazing and i would like to see more switch-esque gav in the future (*manifesting*)

LASKO:

Not too much to say considering I started this post as a way to lightly complain about the poll results, and Lasky wasn’t on the poll, obviously. Regardless, I’m glad this video went the way it did, I think we’ve seen a lot of lasko being quick to jump the proverbial gun in the last few years, with his non-canon vids, and hooking up with gavin, etc, so it was nice to see him break away from that and ask to move slower coz hell yeah dude, progress and growth!! and i think it shows how much he wants the relationship to be more natural, and not racing ahead, even if he does in part want that - it was sweet as hell.

ELLIOTT (ft. The Dragon):

I gotta say it right off the bat that i just found the video on the more boring end. *POLICE SIRENS BLARING IN THE BACKGROUND* AH FUCK-

I’m just not overly surprised that i think Eli got some of the lowest results on the poll, I enjoyed the video, and i liked it (this will be a recurring statement) but i just didn’t like it As Much. Lots of people (including me, ngl) wanted more of the dragon - but erik’s not about to do weird fantasy not-fully-bestiality-esque stuff guys - and i’m pretty sure I only liked it coz cmon it’s erik doing another hot voice, im gonna be down horrendous BUT NOT FOR AN ACTUAL DRAGON. i am Not donkey from Shrek. And yeah, i know Eli’s powers can be kinda limiting with what they can bring to the (pun not intended) sex-table, but does all of his spicy stuff have to be in a Dreamscape? idk.

ASHER:

My Second Favourite Hands Down. How people picked Sam over riding Ash in the front seat of a rental, i’ll never understand /lh the horn may make me jump every time, but it’s okay, there’s repentance in the tongue kissing, and i stand by that, it was the best bit (or one of the best bits), No Criticisms (except Ash please don’t have sex in a RENTAL. wait until you get to a bedroom at least PLEASE-)

GUY:

Again, i liked it but not as much. I love Guy, he’s one of my favourites, i can’t really say why i didn’t like this video as much as I normally would, maybe the concept just wasn’t rolling with me as well - the whole idea of post-concert seemed vaguely random, but you could argue that about all of these, so it doesn’t count. did anyone else see this or was it just me, coz if it is then i will quietly wave my flag of solidarity from my hole in the ground where nobody can see it.

ANTON:

I voted Anton. It was the sadness with the feelings and the horniness spicyness towards the end, ugh I loved it, Anton come home from war soon please (im terrified he might die because despite everything, nothing Death Related had happened in project meridian yet, and let’s face it, it’s gonna.) - it was nice seeing a different but also soothing take on the “your lover is leaving for an indefinite amount of time” thing, and how it changed in comparison to James’ video on it. Anton deserved the continuation okay. No aggression though.

SAM:

This is where I might get more argumentative because I was so disappointed that Sam won the poll, even though I love sammy. It seemed slightly out of character?? with everything we know about Sam, it just seems so unlikely that he would go to a club, let alone start getting, uh, “busy” n shit while at one. he’s not a big fan of PDA because of his past, in my opinion, and i think overall he’s very private, so the setting and stuff just seemed out of place, it would’ve made more sense for Milo’s or smth to be set there - but hell I can’t tell erik how to write his own characters lmao - and still, the ba was Great. with a capital G.

MILO:

I fell asleep listening to this the first couple of times, which says a lot already. The sensual massage trope has been used as a gateway to presumably spicy off-screen things before (Aaron’s HBW ‘21, Asher’s HBS ‘22) but idky it wasn’t hitting as well as it normally does, maybe it’s wearing thin on my brain. ofc it’s redacted content so i’m gonna eat it up like it’s ass (crude but true) but i listened to it through without falling asleep and was like “yeah it’s good, i like it, but also eh,,,” - like i mentioned, it would’ve made more sense to me if Milo’s and Sam’s were swapped around - anyone agree?

CONCLUSION:

as always, all the videos were really good, and despite whatever came across through this post, overall, i enjoyed all of them, so please don’t take this as a criticism towards erik or any of his work, trust me, i absolutely adore it - i say it every time, but every time it’s worth saying, and also please don’t cancel me. this was a really long post, so a lot of people probably won’t read it, so if you made it this far; well done! have a star 🌟- don’t be afraid to leave any agreements or disagreements in the notes, i love discussing stuff with people! thanks for reading

[ftmcutiepie]

Answering All The Questions From "Ask Game For FTMs <3" Because I'm A Needy Filthy Slut

I'm an attention whore! I love letting internet strangers know intimate details about me, it gets my girly pussy so wet.

And while I appreciate every single ask I got so far - thank you to everyone who sent one (or two) - that didn't cover all of them so here we go.

Do you have large labia or small labia?

Uhhh not sure what to compare it to? My labia minora are bigger than my labia majora lol if that helps paint a picture?

How high is your cervix? Can you touch it?

Too high for me to touch🥺

How large is your clitoris?

I don't have anything to actually measure it rn so I have to guess.

When not aroused I'd say it's... less than one inch. God I feel pathetic even typing that out😖 In the metric system I'd say it's a bit more than one 1cm that feels like more of an accomplishment. But that's still less than one inch which is. Humbling.

Aroused it's a bit more than 2cm I think. Still less than 1 inch😖 It's embarrassing I thought any one would care about the difference. It's still so tiny and girly it's pathetic🥺

How wet is your vulva on average?

Very wet. Wetter when I'm edging and not cumming. Even wetter when I'm no touch.

How big are your breasts?

Like I said before. Small. Idk the cup size.

But I wish I could get implants to make them bigger🥺

Maybe too big to bind even so I can never hide what I really am. Give real men, lesbians and other ftm girls something to play and torture me with <3

How many kids do you think your husband will want?

My stupid little bimbo brain is a bit confused by this question. Who is this imaginary future husband? Surely I would need to get to know him first to know how many kids he would want?

But in my humble opinion, the ideal state for a confused fakeboy ftm girl to be in / the fastest way to fix us is to keep us permanently pregnant. The second we're done giving birth (or as soon as that's realistically safely possible if that's more your drift) fuck another one into us.

I want my tits to be heavy and swollen with milk, leaking at the most embarrassing of moments. My hips even wider now, undeniably feminine.

And of course, a big belly, proving I'm serving a real man in the most devoted way I can - my letting him fill me with his seed and carrying his children.

Bullet vibes or wands?

I have never tried either, but @aimymisgenderme kindly mansplained the differences to me.

I think I'd choose the bullet vibe because I can shove it inside me my needy pussy🥺

But I also think it could be fun if someone overstimulated me by holding a wand to my clit until I cry😳

Have you ever rimmed a man? What about another girl?

Sadly not. But I want to so badly!

Would you lick another girls vulva if she told you to?

Yes! I want to have lesbian sex so bad🥺

Do you like being spanked?

I love it! Especially having my pussy spanked it hurts so good and makes me kinda dysphoric🥴

What would you cook for a first date?

I really suck at cooking so I would probably go for something easy like pasta or pizza.

What do you look for in a real man?

Not sure what this question is aiming at?

In fantasy, any real man is superior to me and deserves to use my body for his pleasure. I don't deserve to have standards, and I'm a slut desperate for male attention anyways.

More realistically, I want a Dom who gives me guidance and rules and helps me become a better girly slut <3

Are you an undewire girl or a bralette girl?

I only own underwire bras but they tend to get a bit uncomfortable after a while, and most bralettes look more feminine in my opinion and more appropriate for my smaller tits. So as soon as I get a job I'll go shopping for those!

Have you realized you're just a confused girl yet? If so, when did you realize?

Well, getting called a (confused) girl is getting my pussy wet, and my pussy doesn't lie, so that must mean I'm a girl, right?

But sometimes I still get dysphoric delusional and get silly ideas in my head about being a boy.

But @aimymisgenderme is helping me work through that, setting me straight and fixing me! Sir is helping me become a good girl again and I'll be forever grateful for his hard work <3

[teabookgremlin]

hello friends here are my official thoughts on yellowjackets 02x02 brought to you by my four pages of notes from last night (spoilers below cut)

ok so breaking this up by starting with what i didn’t like. this is the first episode of yellowjackets where i really had moments where i was pretty unhappy with some choices so i wanna talk about those, why i didn’t like them, and how i wish it had gone

- very upset that jackie said the thing about shauna wishing she was her. like i feel like that is not the direction things were going in! we all know how homoerotic everything between them is and especially given the bit last episode where adult shauna told jeff about her fantasies of him with someone else (jackie). i am holding out hope for ghost jackie coming back and getting the love confession out of her so fingers crossed

- not thrilled with how the taissa confronting shauna about jackie bit went. i think that the makeup being the thing that pushed her over the edge was weird. i think they should’ve gone with what a lot of us were predicting where tai caught shauna kissing and/or eating the corpse and that being what made her be like ok we gotta get rid of this body. i just wanted more fucked up corpse stuff, ya know?

- did not like the random concern for the baby from tai, like idk i just feel like none of them are really focused on it rn and it just wasn’t necessary like she was concerned enough for shauna as a friend

- i didn’t love that there was more focus on travis looking for javi, idk i feel like that time would have been better used otherwise but i’m glad he now has fake closure at least so he stops being so obsessed with finding javi

- the nat/travis sex scene with lottie just there was just ugh. idk i wish the lottie/travis thing wasn’t going so in depth, wish they had chosen one of the other girls to be that figure but i mean watching travis’ descent into lottie’s shit is interesting

- i really wish they had put off the group cannibalism for at least one more episode. i’m bummed that shauna wasn’t the only one to eat jackie and i think some of the others just logically aren’t at the cannibalism point yet? like yes they were kind of trancelike but still idk it felt a little like they just wanted to get it in there so people would stop asking when it was happening

now onto what i liked/just general liveblog style thoughts (which there will probably be more of)

- gotta say the makeup scene was great (should’ve ended in a kiss tho) and i loved jackie encouraging shauna to eat her, the guilt of it in shauna, wish she actually had made the leap though

- ok taivan time! my favorite people to talk about lets go. van chasing after tai when she sleepwalked was great, i wonder if the pit she walked to was The Pit as in Pit Girl Pit but that’s a question for another time. when they get back to the cabin, van suggesting tai get help from lottie was really sweet although van being into lottie’s shit is obviously sowing the seeds of conflict between them. finally the little head kiss and the “i can feel your heartbeat” was so soft i love these girls with my whole being

- liked the snippets of the misty/crystal loser girl friendship in the background cannot wait to see more of them

- adult tai is going through it, i was excited to see the mirror thing start interested to see where the kind of “mirror self” thing goes

- lottie spying on nat since travis died is creepy but also great for the lottienat agenda and her going you’re welcome i think misty and lottie should work together on the keep nat from being self destructive project

- shauna being my poor pathetic little meow meow in the scene where tai calls her out teehee, wish she had put up more of a fight about cremating jackie like just lay on top of her or something girl be crazy just do it

- “so you lied to the cops to be feminist?” this is the season of callie being iconic i feel so bad for her though

- tai hallucinating sammy being at her place was SO interesting i really liked it

- travis going to lottie about the wilderness coming back to haunt him. i wanna know what’s up with that/if the wilderness is haunting the rest of the survivors similarly

- GHOST LAURA LEE THIS IS NOT A DRILL hope we see her again at some point <3

- i do wonder if lottie had more of a hand in travis’ death than she told nat but i do believe her honestly

- mari keeping up her being a cunt and making soup we love to see it!

- i LOVED shauna’s pre lighting jackie on fire speech: “i don’t even know where you end and i begin” YES and her ending it with saying she loves her when jackie’s last thoughts were being loved by shauna i need to lay down. also so appropriate that shauna was the one to light jackie, no one else could’ve done it

- tai and simone’s car crash, i feel like tai is probably gonna put blame on herself bc it was her fault and likely that and the conversation with simone in the car will be what leads to her seeking out van

- alright cannibalism time babey lets go

- “she wants us to”

- i adored the cutting between the like imagined feast and the cannibalism that was super well done and just overall a fantastic scene that will stick with me. also the girls all looked so hot in the feast scene so i am gay about it

- do wish there was more of the cannibalism shown but overall just incredible way to start things off

- also shauna would’ve eaten all of jackie even if the others were like ew no wtf lets be real

- poor coach