#idk man it might be because im reading richard again.

[applescabs]

I was tagged by my buddy @phoenixfangs so lets goooo

Are you named after anyone? I've heard this story a buncha times so I'm pretty sure my mom got my birth name from a singer. She heard it on tv and liked it a lot, back then it wasn't a very common name in my country. My names as of now are 50/50, Tom didn't come from anyone but Teddie was 100% something I picked up from Teddie p4, hahah.

When was the last time you cried? Last Sunday when I rewatched ep 11 of Bucchigiri. especially during the part where Zabu got the absolute shit beaten out of him. Finn came home right after that and doesn't understand that one of the big points of media is to reach you emotionally, so he thought it was weird that I was crying.

Do you have kids? Nah, but I'd like to some day, if fate allows it.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not nearly as much as I used to, because most of my friends are autistic and don't get it most of the time, so I just end up upsetting them whenever I do use it. Being sincere is much more fun anyways.

What sports do you play? None, but I would love to swim or ice skate (or, hell, do some skiing). Neither are really possible for me atm, unfortunately (do you have any idea how expensive skiing is btw. it's crazy). When I was a kid I did gymnastics and streetdance, I also played tennis briefly as a teen, but had to quit due to a lack of people in my age group playing at that club.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? I usually take note of how someone dresses and does their hair. Ever notice how dull most people's clothes are? I like seeing styles that stand out.

What’s your eye colour? Brown, it's not a particularly dark shade, but I wouldn't call it hazel (my dad has hazel eyes though).

Scary movies or happy endings? This ones a little... vague? But I guess if I had to choose... I wouldn't. I don't care about genre or what type of emotional impact it has, as long as it's coherent and entertaining in its own right. (That doesn't mean I don't care about quality btw. I literally just. watch anything and judge it for what it is.)

Any special talents? I'm a boss at packing in groceries quickly and efficiently. Not a talent that everyone possesses, I've learned (sorry Minke <3).

Where were you born? Netherlands babeyyy ✌ North-Holland to be a bit more precise. I lived next to a dyke (not that kind) so I got the real under-sea-level experience. I still live around the area but not in my hometown anymore.

What are your hobbies? Drawing, (writing?), translation and the nuances that come with it, watching movies, tv shows, animes, cartoons, playing video games, reading books, comics and manga. (and then talking about cinematography, parallels, themes, symbolism and the likes) I also collect soda cans (+ the occasional glass bottle), candy packaging, and anime figurines + other merch.

Do you have any pets? My little baby Jody (dog) who I've had since I was 7 years old! She's about to have her sweet 16 on the 23rd (that's in 2 weeks!) she's getting blind and deaf as hell but she's still lively and sweet as ever <3 And my sweet Tiger of course, who's of undetermined age (around 8/9 the vet said) and currently living with my good friend Minke and their 2 other cats (he does not like them) and dog (he is ok with her). He's not with me rn because my mom's bf is allergic, unfortunately.

How tall are you? 1 meter 59. that single centimeter haunts me. I would've also preferred an additional 10 as well.

Favourite subject in school? Art history used to my favourite in high school, and when I was in film school for a brief period I loved film history. I just love anything pertaining to the arts and it's history that involves analysing and comparing it to other time periods, really.

Dream job? I wanna be someone's househusband and make a buncha weird art on the side. Not kidding btw. But if I had to choose a more conventional dream job... it had to be something in the creative or design industry, otherwise I'll probably die of unhappiness.

tageroonie @kuwupikaa @sunflowermews @xrd @isleofair @spunktrumpetsasara and uhhh other mutuals who feel inclined to do this 👉👈

[ireallydontunderstandpeopleatall]

i talked to my therapist today and broke down when she asked me about richard since he took care of me during surgery and after. i told her my feelings came back and it hurts to know we can't be together and it made me hopeful that maybe we can try again but then after a few days he went back to the person he usually is that rather play a game with his cousin than watch a travelers guide to love on netflix with me and Aden. And how he got argumentative and lost patience for me when i would snap at him when i wish he would just roll with my punches and let it go because he loved me, but he doesn't. therapist told me that it sounds like i desire having somene i told her i have always been a long term relationship type of person and i wuld still like to find my person. she told me i should seriously think about what i really want so when i go to look i will know what i want. she said it can be fwb if iwant some more years with my son or meet someone for long term, whatever my heart desires but i think she doesnt want to see me sad over richard anymore, and i agree. still not sure if i want or ready for a relationship right away or if i even have time but the thought of meeting more people is nice. then later in the day im reading about a woman trying to cope with being cheated on and the experiences other women posted really got me emotional because i felt all of that that they went through and i started crying. then i showed it to richard and told him he doesnt deserve me. then he didn't text me until he got off of work. i was still feeling emotional at midnight so i msged him and asked how was his nap, then i started pouringmy heart out to him and told him i want to meet someone else. i cried so hard, i was not angry, i just wanted him to know how i feel. i told him i love him and i wish we were still getting married. i miss us . like alot . i remember when he was here i loved looking at his perfect body even thoug he has gained weight it did not bother me because he will always be attractive to me, i love his long salt and pepper hair, i never thought i would find grey hair attractive but it looks so damn good on him i remember when i saw it in person for the first time and i couldnt stop staring and i remember thinking it's actually very hot, like he's a greying man in his 30s but he rocked it so well and it would make me weak when i saw it everytime after that, down or in a ponytail i loved it all, brushing it was so romantic. his beautiful green eyes that i could look at forever. hes not even the hottest guy ive been with, he might not even be in the top 5 but certain features of his are just so magical and straight up sexy. i was estatic when i thought of us gettng married. but anyway, i told him i cant get over him cheating on me and how i will never be the same, also that i didnt want to live my life being sad over him. he probbly did me a favor though bc i can't do all his rapture talk, his hate for things that did not affect him and his crazy ass animated over talkative personality and of course his cheating ways and sexism and how he is just clueless about women bc he never took the time to learn us. he is a whole ass cringefest and the most toxic thing is how he isn't even aware of it. when men think that being like that is just "a part of their personality" and changing it would be "chnging them" and how they act dramatic like it would be stealing their identity. eye roll. that's just their pathetic excuse to never do better. this started out sad and nis now feeling like it ended in realizzation but maybe that's bc I already cried all i could tonight and the emotional stuff has left and I'm only feeling logic now or something. idk

[straighttohellbuddy]

wilbur actively knowing that he feels like he has no reason to lash out but still being upset and creating sex sells and not reading the poem and being in love enough to drive to france im eating dirt /pos i love you holy shit. -🐈‍⬛

BESTIE IM GOING TO SCREAM AND ALSO TALK ABOUT BOOT THEORY (im making litany its own post because i'm insufferable)

I like how it's formatted but also here is a plain text version for accessibility;

Boot Theory; Richard Siken

A man walks into a bar and says: Take my wife–-please. So you do. You take her out into the rain and you fall in love with her and she leaves you and you’re desolate. You’re on your back in your undershirt, a broken man on an ugly bedspread, staring at the water stains on the ceiling. And you can hear the man in the apartment above you taking off his shoes. You hear the first boot hit the floor and you’re looking up, you’re waiting because you thought it would follow, you thought there would be some logic, perhaps, something to pull it all together but here we are in the weeds again, here we are in the bowels of the thing: your world doesn’t make sense. And then the second boot falls. And then a third, a fourth, a fifth.

A man walks into a bar and says: Take my wife–-please. But you take him instead. You take him home, and you make him a cheese sandwich, and you try to get his shoes off, but he kicks you and he keeps kicking you. You swallow a bottle of sleeping pills but they don’t work. Boots continue to fall to the floor in the apartment above you. You go to work the next day pretending nothing happened. Your co-workers ask if everything’s okay and you tell them you’re just tired. And you’re trying to smile. And they’re trying to smile.

A man walks into a bar, you this time, and says: Make it a double. A man walks into a bar, you this time, and says: Walk a mile in my shoes. A man walks into a convenience store, still you, saying: I only wanted something simple, something generic… But the clerk tells you to buy something or get out. A man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river but then he’s still left with the river. A man takes his sadness and throws it away but then he’s still left with his hands.

Fic context for the poem: The reader is in love with Wilbur but doesn't know how to say that out loud. They know Wilbur's also in love with them, but they're scared to make the first move. However, after breaking up with their abusive boyfriend (Mark), who told them they 'didn't know how to love [Wilbur]' during the breakup, they've told Wilbur they need space to figure out who they are on their own, and have not spoken to him in several weeks, also because they're scared that Mark was right and they need to figure out if they're capable of loving Wilbur in a way he deserves before proceeding with a romantic relationship. They bring up Boot Theory on their first ever live stream, which is something they've wanted to do for a while, but never had the chance. They have seen that Wilbur is watching the stream and say there's a poem they've been wanting to show him, mid-stream, live to 15k-ish people.

THIS IS VERY RAMBLY AND IDK HOW MY TONE COMES ACROSS, I MIGHT SAY THE SAME THING A LOT I'M SORRY I JUST HAVE IT ALL IN MY HEAD AND AM TRYING TO WORK OUT HOW TO TRANSLATE THAT TO A WAY OTHER PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND

Also, in fic analysis:

“I think the thing that this poem tries to convey is… everything in your life can change in an instant, and no-one may notice. Your life can keep changing, your world can keep shattering and being completely remade in a new image but,” you wet your lips, opening the book to where you’ve used your finger as a bookmark, “you thought there would be some logic, perhaps, something to pull it all together, but here we are in the weeds again,” you flick a nervous look to your audience, suddenly rather self conscious, “here we are,” you continued, “in the bowels of the thing: your world doesn’t make sense.” You give a small, but bright smile, “And then the second boot falls.”

“There is always change, but there’s always the moment after change where you have to get used to it, and the moment after that where you realise the horrifying truth that you were the only one who had to get used to the change,” closing the book, you leaned back, shrugging a little, “but everyone goes through that. The world keeps turning.”

and NOW i'm putting the full analysis through-the-reader's-lens under the cut!!!

Let's get this started;

in the first two stanzas, the You is Wilbur.

in the first, the Man is Mark, and 'take my wife please' is the reader meeting Wilbur for the first time, finally being away from Mark after years, however it's also Brighton, in it's own way, it's Mark refusing to treat reader well and Wilbur filling that void with kindness and love, and brighton specifically is the connotations behind 'So you do. You take her out into the rain and you fall in love with her'

'You take her out into the rain and you fall in love with her and she leaves you and you’re desolate. You’re on your back in your undershirt, a broken man on an ugly bedspread, staring at the water stains on the ceiling.' it's understanding, it's projection, it's the recognition of the self through the other, because going back to Mark after brighton leaves the reader desolate, and she can tell it's hit Wilbur in a similar way because --

'And you can hear the man in the apartment above you taking off his shoes. You hear the first boot hit the floor and you’re looking up, you’re waiting, some logic, perhaps, something to pull it all together' - back to the focus on wilbur as you, because the reader knows she's leading him on, and knows it must fucking suck to hear about Mark, even in passing. so he's trying to figure out, how to cope with your absence after brighton when you know he's in love with you, trying to figure out how to make it go back to feeling okay the way it kind of did before. Hoping in a strange way that Brighton was a fluke.

'but here we are in the weeds again, here we are in the bowels of the thing: your world doesn’t make sense.' it's her way of saying i see you, i feel this too, i love you and i don't know where to go from here or how. the situation wasn't ideal but you are not alone, though perhaps admitting that, admitting that this really is love while Mark is still in the picture, is the scariest truth to voice.

'And then the second boot falls. And then a third, a fourth, a fifth.' is the cruel acknowledgement of this shift in reality, because the truth is that even before the brighton trip it was love, but you both go back to acting like it's not when you're talking to each other. For now, that was the reality you both continued to live.

STANZA TWO

This you is still Wilbur, but the reader is the man in question, and when you're saying 'Take my wife–-please.' its a cry for help; Mark is the wife.

So when the poem says 'But you take him instead. You take him home, and you make him a cheese sandwich, and you try to get his shoes off, but he kicks you and he keeps kicking you.' the reader is shamefully self aware, when Wilbur has been kind, has sheltered her and let her into his home, showed her the love she'd never felt, she instead refuses to simply tell him that she loves him when she knows he loves her too, and instead makes him knowingly complicit in her cheating on her boyfriend, makes him guilty by association.

'You swallow a bottle of sleeping pills but they don’t work. Boots continue to fall to the floor in the apartment above you.' of course the reader's interpretation of the sleeping pills line is much less dark, it's more acknowledging Wilbur willfully wrote and released Sex Sells as a vaugely self-destuctive coping mechanism, and as an attempt to get the reader to come to their senses HOWEVER --

It works. You know Mark is bad for you. You know you love Wilbur too: 'You go to work the next day pretending nothing happened. Your co-workers ask if everything’s okay and you tell them you’re just tired. And you’re trying to smile. And they’re trying to smile.' But for now, you can't bring yourself to leave Mark, you don't know how. You wish you did. Wilbur wishes he knew how to help you, how to help you both escape this reality.

STANZA THREE MY BELOVED

'A man walks into a bar, you this time, and says: Make it a double.' -- this is simple, you only call each other when you're drunk. You're both you in this situation. You're both trying to cope.

'A man walks into a bar, you this time, and says: Walk a mile in my shoes.' -- you're still both the man, both you. Walk a mile in my shoes is Wilbur reminding the reader that Tommy hates Mark, is writing Sex Sells and Perfume, trying to show how he can see that Mark is making them miserable and it's making him miserable when he loves you and can probably tell you love him too, but you won't leave Mark and he doesn't understand why. But walk a mile in my shoes is also reader telling Wilbur that their situation is bigger than him, but is also the reader playing Wilbur the audio in that French cafe so he finally understands the full scope of why they couldn't leave.

'A man walks into a convenience store, still you, saying: I only wanted something simple, something generic… But the clerk tells you to buy something or get out.' -- you is Wilbur again, just Wilbur, making his music public. He exposes how he's hurting, but no-one else knows the truth behind the words, they just enjoy him as a content creator.

'A man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river but then he’s still left with the river.' -- The Reader, the man in these last moments, can run away to Brighton to fall in love with Wilbur, but they know Brighton was just an escape from Mark, and they couldn't stay there forever. Until they deal with their sadness, Brighton will always be Just An Escape.

except, finally;

'A man takes his sadness and throws it away but then he’s still left with his hands.' -- The Reader loves Wilbur, and chooses to keep him in their life, but they chose to keep Mark in their life (though it hadn't felt like a choice, after breaking up with him, they regret not doing it sooner, not realising they were capable of it). Throwing away sadness may have been a choice they made, but they hadn't identified it as such until they realised they were capable of important choices like that, like leaving Mark.

now, some excess thoughts and breakdown;

that first reality alluded to by the boots falling, the 'they're both in love but pretending like they're not and also Mark is a factor' is the same reality they live in at the end. when sadness is thrown away, it's not creating a completely new reality, it's not pretending like it's completely seperate from the first reality that's just better.

the boots upstairs in the first stanza belong to the man (Mark) who the wife (reader) that you (wilbur) fell in love with; hearing the first is the fact that you're pretending that you're not in love with each other, but the world doesn't make sense because now because surely the being in love is new...

except then you hear the second boot fall, etc, and it feels like before, it feels familiar, except that confusion about the being in love doesn't diminish, no that fits right in. 'your world doesn’t make sense' is your worldviews shifting, surprised to see that you've always been in love... but you're still both pretending like you're not, and Mark's still a factor.

in the second stanza, the reader is the man, and you (Wilbur again) is kicked when he shows kindness, possibly with the same boots he keeps hearing, because he shows you nothing but love and yet you won't just tell him you love him, and you sleep with him while you both know Mark is still definitely a factor.

So he writes Sex Sells to work out his feels and bring you to your senses, but you're still with Mark, still pretending like you're not in love. He keeps hearing the boots.

and finally, in the last few lines, there's no mention of boots, of the constant reminder of the the man and his wife (in this moment, all both are Mark, as well as the fact that both you and Wilbur pretend not to be in love).

going down to the river to throw away sadness is those moments in brighton when it felt like the love was simply implied rather than avoided, like this is what it would be like to simply just be in love with each other without the pretending or mark

and finally, in throwing away their sadness and being left with their hands, with no mention of kicking or boots, the reader acknowledges that they have choice, and that they have all along, in hindsight, that they were capable of throwing away their sadness initially, using their hands instead of kicking they coming to understand that they didn't realise they had the option of using their hands, of throwing away sadness, instead of using their boots to kick, to remind Wilbur of the worst part of their shared reality.

i will also say, they don't realise they can throw away sadness until they go down to the river (brighton). removing themselves from the terrible apartment and the sound of the boots, and going down to the river, is a series of choices. and finally they finally see that yes, brighton makes them feel like this is how their reality should be (going to the river to throw away sadness), but they were capable of knowing what would make them happy and doing it (throwing away sadness) and realising that not only are they capable of choosing joy, but they've always been capable of choosing joy, and while they may not have been able to see that before because of the situation they'd been in, they now have the power and self possession to go forth in life choosing joy (still left with his hands)

so yes, this is very long and A LOT i know, and the last few moments also have kind of two meanings, but i've had this all in my head for days.

BUT ALSO a little bit of thoughts, finally, about what the reader says when they show wilbur the poem and what she's kind of saying with the vague analysis, and why she'd showed him when she did

“There is always change, but there’s always the moment after change where you have to get used to it, and the moment after that where you realise the horrifying truth that you were the only one who had to get used to the change,” closing the book, you leaned back, shrugging a little, “but everyone goes through that. The world keeps turning.”

the timing is entirely self reflective, it's the whole 'we've been in love this entire time but neither of us was able to see a solution until we'd both been suffering for a while', it's apology for making him wait after the poem's final revelation and for their personal hand in perpetuating the unfortunate parts of their reality, when they're still incapable of saying that out loud in their own words.

now the whole thing about 'change -> the moment after change -> the moment you're horrified to realise that the change only effected you' is broad, and when I, Artie, think about this poem, that is how I interpret this poem, and how the reader interprets in a more general sense, however when she thinks about her relationship, its 'properly acknowledging that reader loves wilbur -> realising she's been in love with him as long as she's known him -> understanding that loving wilbur has fundamentally changed the reader, which allows her to clearly seeing mark's ongoing abusive behaviour for what it is and how he acts as though he can continue with it because he's wilfully ignorant of the change and prefers to feel like he has complete power over her'.

so what she's trying to say to him is 'i now see clearly that we were both miserable because we loved each other but couldn't say it out loud, and that i know i had a hand in perpetuating that, and i'm sorry. i'm also sorry neither of us was capable of admitting our love sooner, but you made me realise i'm capable of choosing joy, and worthy of love, for the first time in my life.'

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TEDTALK WHY DO I PUT THIS MUCH THOUGHT INTO MY GD FICS

[eddiekasprzak]

how do u see book richie in the 27 year period between Everything? i remember u vaguely talking abt this once and im curious!!!

Yeah, I’ve talked about it before and ty for this ask because now I get to put a summary of my thoughts in one place! 

First let’s cover what’s 100% canon wrt Richie and the 27 year gap: Left-Winger Richie Tozier. 

Here in this private restaurant dining room Bill felt its presence so fully that it was almost personified—but not as an old man in a white robe with a scythe on his shoulder. It was the white spot on the map which lay between 1958 and 1985, an area an explorer might have called the Great Don’t Know. Bill wondered what exactly was there. [...] Richie Tozier carrying a sign which said STOP THE WAR on one side and GET ROTC OFF CAMPUS on the other?

and

“We had talked a lot about kids, and had pretty well decided we didn’t want them even if we decided to legalize the relationship. Irresponsible to bring kids into such a shitty, dangerous, overpopulated world . . . and blah-blah-blah, babble-babble-babble, let’s go out and put a bomb in the men’s room of the Bank of America and then come on back to the crashpad and smoke some dope and talk about the difference between Maoism and Trotskyism, if you see what I mean.“

Richie Tozier was a canon hippie!!! He and his gf Sandy were hippies!!!

Anyway, onto my headcanons:

Richie went to college in California? And he attended anti-war protests? He went to UC Berkeley. There is no fucking way Stephen King didn’t have Berkeley in mind when he wrote about Richard Middlename Tozier’s college life.

(I googled “anti-rotc berkeley” and found a fucking news clip as the first result lmfao I KNOW YOU WERE THINKING OF BERKELEY STEPHEN I KNOW IT!!!)

He’s also v. pointedly left-wing during his time as a college radio DJ 

His break-up with Sandy is messy as hell but once both have cooled off there’s a lot of residual fondness. Like, “you’re really not the one for me but we had some good times together, so w/e”

also i lowkey want fic where he calls her up again post-canon to say he has a boyfriend now and she’s like AHA I KNEW IT

Speaking of boyfriends, I actually think Richie would know he isn’t straight even if he isn’t out to the outside world? I’ve also talked about how the language Richie used makes me think he’s hooked up with men before i mean I am sorry to go on about it but going gaily in bareback? Hello??? 

Richie would def trivialise his attraction to men as like, purely physical though. A throwback to his past as a pinko free love hippie. It’s nothing serious or anything I mean it’s not like he could fall in love with a man or anything right? (wrong. extremely wrong.)

He also has....a type. That type is Guys That Remind Him Of Eddie. Y’know. T*****.

He definitely rocked the nastiest pornstache for pretty much the entirety of the 70s.

idk i’m running out of ideas rn but I know i’ll come up with more later. 

also read this fic because it has brief Reddie-during-the-27-years and author’s understanding of Richie is so chef’s kiss it’s INSANE

stan socialist richie tozier

[forehead-enthusiast]

A Buncha Tag Games (and yet not all of them)

tagged by: @eggyukhei mwah

tagging: this is a LOT of games so i’ll only tag @atinyphobe @nsheetee and @veonjun for the SECOND (2nd) game. if they or anybody wants to do any of the other games, absolutely go for it and say i tagged you <3 i’d love to see what you guys say!! (also, tk if you felt like you wanted to answer my questions from the second game i’d be interested to see!)

One:

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

ok SO the song that probably got me into rv 100% (also yes ik this blog is 99% nct but rv is my forever fave no question) was probably ice cream cake!! i had been a casual listener of many groups up until that point and had never really stanned anyone, but icc was so infectious i found myself watching it over and over. i had heard happiness and be natural before but hadn’t really listened too closely, so icc was the song that captured me. after that, dumb dumb only cemented my love for them more, and the red is still one of my favorite kpop albums to date. rv attracted me primarily because of their incredible vocals and their versatility in genres and concepts. i still get so excited wondering what they’ll tackle next!! they’re just soooo unique and have one of, if not the best discographies of any group. i cannot stress enough, I. Love. RV!! also they’re funny and gay so. anyway stream monster once it drops uwu

Two:

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

1. what is your favorite song that’s been released during quarantine? ooooo honestly??? probably something off of Sawayama. literally every song bangs so hard i highly recommend that album to anyone!! i can’t pick a favorite off it but who’s gonna save you now is awesome and xs is just,,, chef’s kiss

2. what is your greatest mishap when you tried cooking? (or something you’ve witnessed) one time, while making soup at my late grandmother’s house on her like gas stove, i put a lid on a pot and somehow that led the pot to be engulfed in flames. IN MY DEFENSE i was like 7, and i’m great at cooking/baking now

3. what’s your go-to outfit or article of clothing? oh i love a nice dress. they can be casual or formal, and you look like you put effort into your outfit except i didn’t because i didn’t have to match anything yo!!!! also shorts have trouble fitting me cause i’m a weird body type so dresses tend to be very comfy for me

4. what is your comfort food? am i allowed to say like all food??? eating in itself is comforting,,, that sounds depressing but also i just like eating yummy food. i guess i’d say like my dad’s fried rice?? its my fave and no one makes it like him soooo

5. what singular moment in your life would you like to relive? i couldn’t tell if this meant like, a good moment you want to re-experience or go back in time and redo a moment and fix it. it’s kind of a hard question so i might cop out and go with a bit of a silly answer: i want to relive the hi touch with astro...... i wanna look at rocky’s beautiful eyes and touch moonbin’s hand ok,,,,

6. what is your favorite line and/or character from a movie, show, or book? i got a bunch but a few off the top of my head are genie lo (the epic crush of genie lo), ty lee, suki (atla), klaus, and ben (umbrella academy) 

7. if you could only choose one ice cream flavor and pizza topping/style for the rest of your life, what would it be? ice cream flavor: this very specific one from a local store that is banana ice cream with strawberries and oreo mixed in. it is heaaaavenly. as for pizza topping, i love a breakfast type pizza with an egg on top and like sausage and stuff!!!

8. what is the worst injury you’ve ever had or witnessed? funny enough, i’ve actually gotten badly injured quite a few times, and always on the face!! god hates me. the worst was probably when i hit a metal bench with my face and it took a chunk out of my cheek. i still have the scar! as for “witnessed” i accidentally broke a grown man’s rib once as a child, so i guess that would count.

9. would you rather explore the unknown of space or the bottom of the ocean? oceaaaan!! i answered this in some other game, but i like how mysterious and yet close the ocean is. like proximity wise it’s so near, yet there’s an insane amount we know nothing about. that’s so frightening but so intriguing

10. if you could be any cartoon character, who would you be? my first thought was literally “kirby. eat fast” GOD my followers are gonna think i’m just a glutton and they’re not even gonna be wrong im dying. but uhh idk mulan or smth?

my questions:

what is your go-to feel good movie?

are you the type of person who’s indecisive about buying, or the type to impulse buy once you see something you like?

do you prefer chocolate-y or fruity candy?

what idol do you think is most similar to you? (not your bias necessarily)

do you have any silly dealbreakers? if so, what are they?

what do you do to unwind?

what is a small thing you like to do for people you love? (be it sending memes, remembering their favorite shows, etc)

what’s/who’s your favorite myth/mythological being?

what is a non-typical pet you would want to have?

do you say pronounce data as day-ta or dah-ta?

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people. 

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot and then tag a few blogs you’d like to get to know better! 

PERSONAL

name: sarah

nickname: bells

birthday: april 17th

zodiac: aries

nationality: chinese american

languages: english, some spanish, some korean

gender: female

sexuality: baby bi bi bi~

height: 5′10

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: i suppose nct since i write for them the most?? but i feel like sometimes i come up with the idea before i think of a member so sometimes the muse is just my own fantasies oops

meaning behind my url: i made it at a time where loads of idols were getting bangs and honestly i believe most of them look infinitely better without them, thus i was and still am enthusiastic about foreheads.

blog established: like winter of 2018...?? i think

followers: over 2.5k but most deactivated/left during my hiatus lol

FAVORITES

favourite animals: sharks, chickens, snakes, cats, penguins

favourite books: the epic crush of genie lo and then iron will of genie lo, PERIOD

favourite colour: pink and purple!!

favourite fictional characters: lol, again, genie lo, ty lee, suki, klaus, ben, and just a few more: richard and evelyn o’connell (the mummy), dave (dave), michael (the good place)

favourite flower: sunflower

favourite scent: baking chocolate, heating butter, blackberry, wisteria

favourite season: probably spring! i like warmth but not HEAT

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: ugh idek i sleep horribly

cats or dogs: both, but unfortunately i’ve never had either

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea but then hot chocolate

current time: 5:29pm

dream trip: go to paris and eat loads of pastries and enjoy the fashions and beauty of the city, and also learn to bake better maybe?

dream job: actress

hobbies: making jewelry, drawing, singing, reading comics

hogwarts house: according to the quizzes, all of them. people who have just met me think slytherin or gryffindor, people who i’m friends with think ravenclaw or hufflepuff, people who know me really well know you can’t box a person into oversimplified archetypes :’) in my assessment of myself, it varies by the day, but i think perhaps gryffindor today?

last movie watched: hot fuzz (a classic)

last song listened to: summer breeze by sf9

no. of blankets you sleep with: like 2

random fact(s): i won lego building competitions as a child, one of my dream roles is anastasia from the musical named after her, i played violin for a very short time, i bake the cakes for all my family and friends’ birthdays, i have strangely strong grip strength

SIX

10 songs i can’t stop listening to:

love me 4 me- rina sawayama

cherry- rina sawayama

in & out- red velvet

crush culture- conan gray

manic- conan gray

the king- conan gray

summer- pentagon

told you now- jeremy jordan (originally sung by sam smith)

fuck this world (interlude)- rina sawayama

someone who loves me- sara bareilles

[brief-creation]

Rules: answer 30 28 questions then tag 20 people you'd like to know better

tagged by the brilliant @sure-as-eggs (thanks btw, I was giddy to see my name after I finished reading your thing, surprised me and prbly made my morning)

<p>1. Nicknames: honestly I don’t have any friends to give me nicknames. However, my childhood nickname was Roo (like from Winnie the Pooh, because I was bouncy we loved tigger). My actual name is Marley though! (I think) /yes like the dog<br>

2. Gender: female? <br>

3. Star sign: Taurus ♉<br>

4. Height: 5'0"<br>

5. 6:44 PM <br>

6. Birthday: April, 30th (allegedly) /fun fact, this is also the day Hitler died<br>

7. Favorite bands: I usually have favorite songs rather than favorite bands,,,, Imagine Dragons, Fall Out Boy, Arctic Monkeys, Flat Sound, Queenand probably many others <br>

8. Favorite Solo Artists: I listen to a lot of P!nk (recently), Frank Sinatra, Ed Sheeran, Bon Jovi, uhhh,,, Sam Smith, Taylor Swift (recently) Marina and the Diamonds,,,idk,, yeah OH RICHARD WALTERS DEF<br>

9. Song stuck in my head: I’m listening to music rn so this is sorta hard, but I hard Secrets by Pink stuck in my head earlier. Now I’m all about Toms Diner tho.<br>

10: Last movie I watched: fuck uhh,,,, I think Princess in the Frog but I watch a lot of tv so that might not be accurate. (random movie related, I’m playing to do a batman / marvel movie marathon in a couple days when I’m on break, I’m super excited). <br>

11: Last show I watched: lmao no idea I jump around too much. Probably Gotham, Girl Boss, or something else honestly who knows (hey recommend me some shows to watch I need something). <br>

12. When did I create my blog: who,,, who knows man, , not me. Probably sophomore year. But I had another tumblr before this <br>

13. What do I post: on this blog? Although it’s my main blog, it’s my junk blog. All my other blogs are themed and have certain things that are reblogged to them (I have a compulsive need to be so organized, everything needs to have a place), this blog is for the leftover things the don’t fit in my blogs; mainly memes, animals, and neat stuff. But whatever really. <br>

14. The last thing I googled: good question, one sec; lyrics to Tom’s Diner (an aforementioned song, I heard Robin Lord Taylor singing it and I wanted to know what song it was so I looked up the lyrics he is singing). However have 38+ other tabs open bcs I am an animal. </p><p>

15. Any other blogs: lol, yeppp. A lot. Too many really. I don’t necessarily use them all either. My Gotham one is my most actively, constantly using that one. Then this on I’d second most used, then the positivity one, then so forth. I honestly basically have a blog for most everything. (my personal-personal blog is beforethelion, I haven’t updated for a terribly long while but I plan to start using it again verrrry soon for photography, poems, videos, art, like basically whatever Im doing that day;; so like self promo I guess lmao)</p><p>

16. Do I get asks: nope, neverr. however I leave them to others all the time. I genuinely enjoy complimenting people and spreading a good vibe. </p><p>

17. Why I chose my URL: for this blog, I just liked these two words so I put them together, then voila. But for my beforethelion one I actually have a significant reason, but if I were to talk about it I would ramble and make this thing 10x longer than it needs to be (like it already is) so I won’t explain. But if anyone does wanna know my ask box is open 😉as for my others, about half have reasons and half are aesthetic </p><p>

18. Following: 1880

19. Followers: 241 for this one, 33 for my Gotham one (I weep because I want to be more part of and involved with the fandom but;; I don't know how to like do that''' I can't engage, ,,, then beforethelion has 54 (simultaneously surprised and disappointed)</p>

20. Average hours of sleep: depends if I'm having "issues". Lately I have been so not very much, but majority of the time I have my full 8 hours

21. Lucky number ugh

22. Instruments: trying to grasp the piano, played saxophone in middle school, own 3 guitars but just don't

23. What am i wearing: black pajama bottoms and a marble tee ;))

24. Dream job: fuck.. Actor tbh but like yeah. Currently attending a career center because I wanted to be an animator/film developer buttt the entertainment industry is a mess. Love love to be a surgeon not school is expensivvvee and what if I suck. So I've lowered my goals to history professor (college grade is the dream but I might end up settling for high school).

25. Dream trip: god,,, I never travel oh,, honestly actually probably New York. I'd love to leave America and indulge km another culture and land of course but god, new york. I gotta go.

26. Favorite food: im hungry right now so, everything.

27. Nationality: American

28. Favorite song right now: no, no, no-nonon, we are not doing this, no. I,, have a lot of music. Whenever I see a song title/lyrics/artirst/whatever or hear something that's interesting I just gotta screen shot it/ write it down. I do this a lot (I screenshot other people's answer to this if that says anything). So I have a good amount of music I need to listen to. So t the end of the day I try to listen to a good chunk of it. Whenever I like one of the new songs, I save it. On average I approximately add 10ish songs every day. It's a lot of music,,,,, I refuse

Okayokayokay,, finally, here we are: the end. I was soso happy to be nominated for one of these things. I never pay attention to my existence/acknowledge myself/ever talk about myself/ever talk to anyone/ever talk/ever have done one of these before :) So really it was a lot of fun. I'd like to nominate people but, all my mutuals are on my Gotham blog and god, can you imagine that : engaging.