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#idk the sads are back i guess
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Every time my hair dye fades, I stop feeling like myself
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offkilterkeys · 2 months
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I don’t know how to feel about this Eridan because while I was drawing it I got the news that an older family member I loved had died. Anyway finals are basically over so now I can interact on the internet without guilt yippee
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robinfollies · 3 months
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Been really pondering Fantoccio and the cursed citizens lately… like, if you’re stuck in a city for 15 years with some of your only company being these cursed globby versions of the people that used to surround you normally, you’d start to Notice Things that remind you of who they used to be, right?
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snowangeldotmp3 · 11 months
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hoh nancy wheeler
(tagging @netflixnormalthings for their awesome research and screenshots and @lumaxramblings bc we had Many discussions abt hoh nancy)
so a few weeks ago i made this post, about nancy not wearing earplugs and using the shotgun (and guns in general over the seasons) and how this affected her hearing. but then it really did get me thinking: why don't we see more content about hard of hearing nancy wheeler?
i see hoh steve all the time, which is fair! steve has gotten his fair share of head trauma and no doubt has problems from this. (and i do love hoh steve! don't get me wrong!) but i rarely see anything about hoh nancy, even though she has consistently dealt with firearms since season 1 without the proper ear protection.
just for reference: whispering is around 30 decibels, normal speaking voices around 60 db, and anything above 70 db for extended amounts of time will start to damage the ear, and anything over 120 db will cause immediate damage to the ears.
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for reference: in season 4, nancy fires the shotgun four times while blasting vecna out of the window. in season 3, she fires hoppers shotgun a few times during the fight at the cabin, and this doesn't include firing at billy or the fireworks they all set off inside starcourt (which, should've given them all a little hearing damage, if we're honest).(fireworks decibels + info under the cut!) nor does it account for the times she shot at the demogorgon in season 1.
anyway, the point is: there is no way that nancy is not hard of hearing. firing a shotgun once without protection is enough to blow your hearing out, but four times? and it's not even the first time she's dealt with firearms. she's shown to be one of the most, if not the most, proficient with guns. noise induced hearing loss is a very real thing, it damages the hair cells within the ear--these cannot grow back. and shotguns breach the threshold where just one close and sudden exposure can cause instant and permanent hearing loss.
there isn't much else for me to say here, this was really just a comprehensive guide, or even "proof" that nancy should be hard of hearing, or at least a wider accepted headcanon than it is. give me nancy, who, after even season 1, starts to have a hard time hearing what other people are saying, and learns to read lips instead. give me stubborn nancy who won't admit that there's anything wrong, that she can hear just fine, thank you, and she doesn't need help. i know nancy typically has the best hearing out of the main cast, usually the one who hears the danger first, but i don't know...it just seems more plausible to me for nancy to be hard of hearing.
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ecoqueer · 2 years
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I wish that people gave a shit about nonbinary people who don’t use they/them pronouns. You can literally give your friend group (which includes another nonbinary person) a list of your favorite pronouns, none of which include they/them, and mention several times that you don’t like they/them pronouns for yourself, but they’ll make the switch from she/her pronouns to…they/them. And feel super proud of themselves for being sooo progressive as to use they/them pronouns for you….when those aren’t your pronouns.
I think that saying “he she and they are my least favorite but are fine in combination with other things…I’m really fine with any neos but here’s a list of my faves that you can choose from!” Is polite and not a difficult request. I’m not good at being a pushy person, and I shouldn’t need to be.
#it screams#i guess I’ll pull the lists out again and re-link them#but the aforementioned friends view messages from me as a chore and check them rarely so when they do they’ve built up and so just skim#everything#which I’m fucking tired of#I’ve been going back and forth on whether it’s better to have no friends or a few friends who make you feel shitty#dunno which is worse#they also are extremely cavalier with covid while knowing I have no health insurance#and have supported some statements/actions that really make me sad#so idk I might be basically friendless at this point#i hold on for too long to people who have clearly moved on and don’t much care about being my friend anymore#I’ve tried reaching out a few times to no avail so idk I might just give up#try to cultivate online relationships more#which feels pretty impossible to me#sigh#I’ve been not able to sleep well#because of issues in my life with…all of the few people in it#issues that could be solved if I had kept a wider support network#instead of getting trapped with someone who was abusing me and my friends who don’t seem to give a shit about that and expressed more#concern for him than for me when the news was revealed to them#again I don’t have health insurance so no therapist#which I fucking desperately need right now#i have no one separate to talk to#the one who knows all of the different factors from all of the angles…is the abuser#i feel like I’m in so much fucking pain and I feel so alone and all of the people in my life who are supposed to be my loved ones#are standing around me ignoring me completely and acting like everything is okay#just causing me more and more pain#well this didn’t start out intended as a vent but it sure turned into one huh#i wish I could convey to y’all the desperation and loneliness and aching that I feel#vent
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youngyoo-apologist · 2 months
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OG Choi Han they could never make me hate you cause if some random rich boy was yelling at me and telling me my family deserved to die like a day after it happened and all I wanted was to know how I could get help I’d beat him up too
This plus the added fact that the Harris Village people were the first people to take Choi Han in and take care of him after years and years in the dark forest. Like he’s obviously not going to be mentally stable after all that, and he was so young when everything happened to him like I cannot blame him at all. I don’t think I can ever hate OG Choi Han like ever, he’s flawed, he has problems, but I love him dearly. He deserves the world. This kid who had to fight for his life, was taken away from his family, and in the process had to give up parts of his own humanity to survive, and like went to war two years later, they could never make me hate u OG Choi Han…
Like yeah violence is bad I guess but OG Cale had it coming(saying this as an OG Cale fan, I love him, but he was mean as hell when he was younger!)
If I’m honest, I think they were both in the wrong to an extent. Like OG Cale shouldn’t have said all that no matter the circumstances, and OG Choi Han shouldn’t have beaten him up so much. But u say mean shit and you get hit, that is how it will work when you’re talking to the guy who just saw his entire village get murdered like idkkkk man
I understand where OG Cale was coming from, but he had many issues and while he wasn’t an awful person, he was capable of doing bad things because of his own internalized pain and emotions that he never got to properly process because of his emotionally distant childhood and relationship with his father who should have been there for him more when he was younger.
Okay speaking of his childhood, Deruth isn’t the WORST father in the world but there are a lot of things he could have done better. I think a lot of Deruth’s flaws come from his fear of failure and messing up. He’s scared of doing the wrong thing, and so he sticks to doing what he knows and using what he knows best. That’s why he uses his money, that’s why gift giving is his way of showing affection, he knows that it is one thing he cannot mess up.
The problem is that money and gifts is NOT what OG Cale needed. I think what that guy needed the most was a parent who wasn’t afraid to talk to him, to ask him questions. Not to say that Deruth gave up on OG Cale, but I think in a way he gave up on OG Cale by giving up on himself. Deruth didn’t trust himself to have the capabilities to talk to OG Cale, which is why he never did. It’s because that Deruth was scared, and didn’t trust himself, that he could never face OG Cale
If Deruth was able to trust himself a little more, and pull himself together, I don’t think OG Cale would have turned out the way he did. As a kid, he probably thought the only way he could help his family without relying on anyone(no doubt this whole ‘I have to do it myself’ thing came from the fact that he couldn’t rely on his father when his mom died, and instead was acting as a pillar of support for his father when it should have been the other way around) was to sabotage himself, the only heir. If he was shown to be unfit to be heir, then everyone else would have no choice but to direct their hatred towards him instead of his family.
If Deruth had talked to his son at least ONCE when he was a kid, asking him why he was upset or why he did the things he did, I think OG Cale would have told him. Why? Because he’s a kid!! A kid will obviously want to rely on his father, if he just had one sign telling him that he didn’t have to do it alone I’m 90% sure OG Cale would have said something.
Basically, while Deruth isn’t the worst father, he’s not really a great father either. I think he does do his best, but he has issues with communication lol
OG Cale and OG Choi Han are both complex characters and had their own reasons to behave the way they did. The thing is with people is that they’re complicated and have layers, so the situation with them would have layers behind it as well with multiple co-existing truths and stuff
#guys I’m a big fan of Choi Han#and I get sad when people bring up this scene and all the blame is on him#like okay he was wrong but if YOU saw your entire family dead and some random rich boy started yelling abt how their lives were worthless#you’d be mad too no?#like his feelinsg were totally justified cause OG Cale was REALLY mean in that scene#‘their lives are worth less than the bottle in my hand’ OHHHHH OKAY OG CALE THATS ENOUGH THATS ENOUGHHHH#I love OG Cale but u have to admit he wasn’t very nice when he was younger#like the statements ‘he had his reasons’ ‘being trash was an act’ ‘he wasn’t a bad person’ ‘but he did say bad things’ can co exist#yes being trash was an act but he is ALSO capable of saying mean things and things that are wrong#LIKE TELLING THE GUY WHO JUST GOT HIS FAMILY MURDERED THAT THEIR LIVES WERE WORTHLESS#HE WAS NOT INNOCENT FOR THAT#Younger OG Cale is not a black and white character#and neither is older OG Cale but this post isn’t abt him#okay I’m gonna bring up someone who isn’t from TCF#but take Eunyung Baek from no home as an example okay#eunyung did bad things and was a bad person because of his childhood right#the reasons to being a bad person do not take away the bad things he did#but just cause he did bad things and was capable of them did not mean he could not change#I love OG Cale a LOT and I just think that his character has a lot behind it#Older OG Cale is obviously very different from his younger self#years and years of war and tragedy have matured him and like he’s not the same person he was anymore#okay back to Choi Han I love that guy I will defend him with my life#beating up people is wrong yeah but with the circumstances I’d say OG Cale had it coming#like okay it would be different if it was unprovoked but it was very much provoked#I swear I love OG Cale I just think he was very wrong for that#not to say he can’t change or isn’t capable of change he definitely is#idk I guess my point is that OG Cale was wrong but he changed as a person#and OG Choi Han was wrong for beating him up so much but it wasn’t unjustifiable#tcf#lcf
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forestgreenlesbian · 3 months
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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what sort of outfits do you think 14 wears like 6 months into retirement. i mean the costume is the doctor right? it's a uniform, it's part of it. hes not being the doctor he doesnt have to wear it. we already see him starting to take it off in the last special
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tonariofjananda · 1 year
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Based on a this ask
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8cfc00 · 4 months
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cant believe my posts have not been explodinf w notes this is so fucked im drawing grant wilson mitski a pearl
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brokendoor16 · 26 days
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Istg there’s actually something so surreally heartbreaking about remembering a friend you lost. Like. I don’t even know how to express it in anything but questions: do you miss me? why don’t we talk anymore? how could you do that to me? couldn’t you see I needed you? do you remember how it felt to love me? It’s never a good enough reason, always a stupid fucking thing to lose a friend over, but I don’t think there’s anything worse than knowing you can’t have that back.
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xxbimbobunnyxx · 4 months
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I’m sorry it’s been a minute since I posted a ST fic guys… just with the way the fandom has been I truly haven’t felt inspired to write for Eddie or Steve lately. It actually makes me very sad, but I think I just need a little break from writing about them… It’s not forever and I’m definitely still going to post ST stuff, and reblog fics. But I understand if you unfollow me because you don’t wanna see stuff for other fandoms, that’s totally fair.
-xoxodolly
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papas day
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judasisgayriot · 13 days
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I rly like making gifs and I have ideas but I can’t help but feeling slightly demoralised abt my fav creative fandom activity when half of the fob fans on tumblr who might enjoy looking at them have me blocked and it keeps happening live crylaugh love
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chrisbangs · 6 months
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hello... (and bye ig 👋)
#👋😭 hi...#i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone#i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭#i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh...#uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂#i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but#i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause#i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say...#i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu#it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media /#without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao#i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy#pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on#i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a#depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think#i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just#sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ????#i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become#even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it#i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it#like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi#i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda#makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd#not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what#they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling#anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀#i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say#this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel#like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭#who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡
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caimitos · 28 days
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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