#idk what the fuck it is about me because there is NO resemblance whatsoever

[vitospaghetta]

Compliments I have received this week from strangers: -That I'm a very bubbly person -That I seem to have a very nurturing personality -That I'm like Taylor Swift but "with a whole goth thing going on"/"if she was cooler" LMAO

I'm just ????!!!!?!?!?!?!! thank you???????????

[a-gay-shipper247]

TODODEKU CINDERELLA AU

I was looking for some tododeku Cinderella au, but like.... there isn’t a lot, so I raise you,

Shouto is Cinderella. Mostly people put Izuku as Cinderella, but hear me out

No need for evil stepmother. Todoroki Enji is the scum of earth war general who hates all his children and Shouto the most since he’s the most disrespectful

He doesn’t take Shouto anywhere public since He will say something bad about Enji.

. “might as well do work around the house and train be my punching bag while You stay locked in the house

Enji hates the king Toshinori. they were both knights, and the previous King was childless and named Toshinori as his heir.

as for Izuku

Toshinori married Inko, a peasant woman or named Izuku his heir. 

Bakugo still bullied Izuku when they were little and you can bet your ass his attitude is still bad after Izuku became Prince out of nowhere.

Hanging out with Kiri helps though, so that’s nice. Also Kiri and Izuku are friends due to pure sunshine energy and Bakugo doesn’t want to make his boyfriend sad.

Back to Cinderoki, His siblings are the mice because a) none of them would hurt Shouto like the stepsisters and b) Enji is bad enough for three people anyway.

He does take them with him though.

 Shouto wanted to go to the ball because he Doesn’t get to go outside and He needs to defy Enji like he needs Oxygen. Shouto has literally no interest in the prince. Or anyone else.

None whatsoever

Even if the green haired guy he met is really adorable.

The ball is a masquerade and happens for three days because I said so.

Cinderoki’s Fairy Godmother has and uncanny resemblance to his supposedly dead Older brother other than having half of his face burned off. Yes. I am doing that.

He also has no magic, but some good friends who help him find clothes, and to get a wig.

The first night of the ball Shouto hears Izuku say something good about Enji and challenges the Prince to a...... IDK spar? (he doesn’t know He’s the prince yet shhhhh)

They don’t have powers to say they are theirs, but they do talk and Shouto maybe, probably decides he likes the boy he met and sparred against at the courtyard..

he has to leave because his father leaves at midnight . what a dick.

Anyway, “fairy godmother” and his friends do all of Shouto’s work so endeavor has no reason to suspect anything. 

The second night of the ball, Izuku just nyooms to Shouto and they escape to Talk The Night Away. Untill midnight that is

Both our boys are catching feelings but “he’s not interested in the Prince” “Why would he be interested in me He’s perfect” 

Unfortunately Fuyumi recognizes him, but She’s a good sis so doesn’t tell Enji.  But they do talk the next day and She agrees to keep his secret because “Please Fuyumi, Tonight’s the last time I’m going to see him don’t take that away from me”

“I didn’t realize you had feelings for the prince” “I have Feelings for who now?” 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CHALLENGED THE PRINCE TO A DUEL???” “I DIDN’T KNOW HE IS THE PRINCE! HE SAID SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT DAD WITHOUT KNOWING HIM!’”

Fuyumi’s not that good an actor though, so Enji suspects something, but not enough.

Shouto confronts him about the prince thing and Izuku surprisingly manages not to cry..... yet

“you said before you had no interest in the prince! so I thought you didn’t like me as the prince! And I really wanted you to like me because I love you!”             cue the waterworks.

They were kissing when the bell rang. Shouto’s Wig came of when he ran. Izuku just stood there, because he knew Shouto was hiding from his father who’s name he mentioned not, but a wig? well his hair is really recognizable, add to that his mismatched eyes and he would be really recognizable, and he said his father is abusive so it makes somewhat sense.... and other mutterings

so instead of the fucking shoe, the prince set out looking for the half red half white hair.

Enji meanwhile caught a glimpse of Shouto when he left, and by Shouto I mean his hair cause everyone saw that boy running but only Enji realized that It was Shouto.

Shouto gets the mother of all beatings when he gets home (sorry bb) 

The Todoroki house wasn’t the last because it was in a corner of the kingdom, it was last because no one suspected the War general.

Shouto was locked in the attic when Izuku got there. but when he was leaving, he threw something of Enji he found out the window in frustration. It hit one of the Prince’s solders coughbakugocough on the head

“general Enji, are all your children *side eyeing scared Fuyumi and Natsuo* here on the porch ? 

“of course” 

“Then where THE FUCK DID THIS COME FROM TO HIT ME HUH????” 

Cue Endeavor sweating, because as much as he hates Toshinori, the man is still the king, and he hates child abuse. “There is nothing you need to worry about”

*hand chopping motions* “General there might be some one in the attic! we should check”

And that kids, Is how General Enji got thrown into jail, and Shouto got his freedom.

The wedding was huge, Inko loves Shouto, They find that Rei was wrongfully banished and bring her back

ya’ll get the gist

[bananahut]

hey um i just had a good cry lmao, i think i’m going to take a break from simblr. the only reason why nikita has blue eyes is because her father and she is half white so idk i was just trying to make her a bit resembling of her father. same goes for her brother. they are half white. i never mean to be racist whatsoever. and if i seem to be fetishising asians again i’m sorry.

i just wish people would come to me instead of spreading hate on sc. this stuff really affects me and i’m kind of scared to post now. there’s always going to be something no matter what i do. i’m very respectful of other ethnicities and i very much try to stay in line. if it offends u that much i’ll give nikita and lupo darker eyes. but again they’re light skin because they are half white. and again i have sims that are poc but yall refuse to see that and now i’m even fucking scared to post about them.

so yeah don’t expect any content from me for a while.

[caemthe-a]

Favorite Cú Chulainn’s moments (part one)

First tale: The birth of Cú Chulainn (Second version)

Context: The tamer version of Sétanta’s birth, in which Dechtine actually likes Lugh and things are less confusing. This is a much happier tale and it’s really amusing to read about all these noblemen discussing over their right to raise baby Sétanta. And no, Sétanta is baby so he doesn’t do much except coming into the world. 

(...) In the morning, when they arose, they found in the hut a little baby boy, but just born, who bore a strong resemblance [?] to Conchobar. "Take thou this child, Finnchoem," said Conchobar to his sister. She received the child with joy. "Already my heart goes forth to this little child," she cried; "he will be for me a second Conall cernach (the Victorious)."

1) I completely forgot of this detail the first time I read it, but the fact that Cú and King Conchobar, look similar is terrible, I hate it makes it more understandable(?) why Queen Medb would later hate the guts of 17yo Cú. 2) Conchobar really yeeted the newly born baby and responsibility to his sister. This is very IC of Conchobar actually. 3) Finnchoem is literally the cutest and nicest woman of Ulster and I love one ( 1 ) auntie Finn. I get a bit emotional whenever I remember that, even if Cú’s life was filled with tragedy and so many bastards, he was surrounded by people that truly loved him, not just admired him as a hero. 4) Conall Cernach and Cú Chulainn being raised like brothers... my heart... it’s so cute... *remembers Conall and Cú’s promise to avenge the other if they were killed unfairly*... oh no...

(...) "His praise," he [Morann] cried, "will be in the mouths of all men ; charioteers and warriors, kings and sages will recount his deeds ; he will win the love of many. This child will avenge all your wrongs ; he will give combat at your fords ; he will decide all your quarrels."

Sétanta vc: Hey, don’t you think that’s a lot of pressure for a baby that was born literally hours ago? How come I don’t get a say in this?

Morann’s judgment is so ridiculously perfect that it almost feels like he made a prophecy or maybe he sealed Cú’s fate right then because all he said would become true in the next years. So many responsibilities and expectations for the newborn child! But Morann kind of forgot to mention that all of them would also be throwing hands with the child and that Cú was 99% gremlin in the form of an adorable puppy. I especially like the ‘he will win the love of many’ because yes, simply yes. That applies to both the universe where his story takes place and everyone ever that read the tales of Cú Chulainn because honestly how can you not love Cú Chulainn after reading his stories? Like listen Cú is a little shit, but he’s OUR little shit.

Second tales(s): The boyhood deeds of Cú Chulainn

“This boy,” said Fergus,

Fergus, staring into the distance and sighing loudly before grumbling in the most resigned and tired tone of voice: This boy...

But anyway this is how pretty much all tales related to Cú Chulainn start. Either Fergus or someone else just sighing and gulping down a jar of ale in one go before they proceed to narrate whatever the hell Cú thought would be a good idea at the time and the consequences of it. Important! Sétanta is 5 years when his boyhood deeds begin so he’s baby.

Context: Sétanta wanted to go play with the boys' troop because, well, he’s a child so he wants to have fun too. But then things escalate really fast because the cool kids TM don’t want 5yo Sétanta to play with them and therefore they try to kill him. Children are scary... But no worries 5yo Sétanta kicked their asses without much trouble. He also did his first ríastrad, which is pretty cool! Bonus exp! 

“‘Hold, my little fellow,’ said Conchobar, ‘I see this is no gentle game thou playest with the boy-corps.’

Little fellow.

Also, Conchobar what the actual fuck?! They were literally trying to kill Cú aka your nephew just a minute ago. But because surprise! surprise! Cú is strong as fuck and can give them a taste of their own medicine, he needs to hold back?! I call this bullshit. Anyway, Cú got scolded and promised not to do it again... but as soon as he leaves Conchobar’s presence, he goes back to kicking the boys’ asses once again! Beautiful, simply beautiful. 

A couple other details: 1) Conchobar asked Sétanta who he was when he first saw him chasing the boys’ troop and... seriously? Like seriously? Already forgot that you have a nephew? This is peak Conchobar. 2) Sétanta calls all his adoptive fathers and Conchobar ‘Phopa’ (like Phopa Fergus, Phopa Conchobar, etc.) which translates as foster-father but it appears that the term has other applications, like guardian! 5yo Sétanta vc: My guardian Conchobar, please allow me to go beat those kids that tried to murder me. :0c 3) Unrelated to this tale but Cú Chulainn also calls Láeg, his charioteer and best friend and the mumfriend, ‘Phopa Láeg’. And Láeg’s nickname for Cú was ‘Cúcuc’, which means ‘little hound’. I find this extremely endearing.

And then we pass to Hound of Culann’s story! Cú just turned 6 and still is going strong in beating the shit out of the boys’ troop whenever he’s given the chance (this time he’s winning some game in which it was just him versus the entirety of the boys’ troop). Conchobar is so amazed by how cool his nephew is that he decided to take the child to the banquet (even though the host of said banquet told him not to take more people with him...)

‘Have the child called to us,’ said the ~, he may come with us to share the banquet.’ “‘I cannot go thither just now,’ said the boy. “‘How so?’ asked Concbobar. “‘The boy-corps have not yet bad enough of play.’

Don’t mind me, I’m just going to go cry in a corner and die a little from cuteness overload because of this small reminder that Sétanta is a smol and therefore why he doesn’t want to join the banquet until he’s done playing... He’s so teeny tiny, I cry... My son... But then Conchobar kind of forgets that he invited Sétanta so Culann UNLEASHES HIS VICIOUS HOUND! Conchobar vc: Oops I did it again.

Luckily Sétanta is our OP anime protagonist so he doesn’t die (yet) and manages to kill the hound in self-defense. Soon Fergus catches up and rushes to scoop smol Sétanta up (dawww) and everyone praises him. (I mean obviously if Cú hadn’t been, well, Cú, that would’ve been a certain and violent death). But Culann isn’t happy for obvious reasons... and he’s kinda mad at Sétanta but alright, sure, blame the 6yo trying not to die instead of the kid’s guardian...

“The little boy replied, ‘If in all Ireland there be a whelp of that dog’s breed, by me he shall be nurtured till he be fit for action as was his sire. In the meantime I, O Culann, myself will do thee a ban-dog’s service, in guarding of thy cattle and substance and stronghold.’

Like I said, Sétanta is a little shit but he’s an endearing little shit. Also, wow... let’s take a moment to picture 6yo Cú raising puppies by himself and teaching them how to become ferocious hounds like... Smol Cú vc: if you see an intruder, you have to look at them like >:O grrr! Puppies vc: >:O grrr! I’m sorry but... it’s cute... And Cú earned his new name too!

Cathbad vc: You’ve acquired a new name! Cú Chulainn! Sétanta: Whack. Cathbad: No, it’s pretty cool actually. Cú Chulainn: True.

The next deed happens when Cú is 7 years and takes arms (weapons), sealing his fate to become a hero but to die at a young age. This part never ceases to make me upset so you get nothing from me here. But-

“‘O king, be not wroth,’ the boy pleaded; ‘(...)For when they asked him what special virtue lay in this day, he told them that the name of whatsoever youth should therein for the first time take arms, would top the fame of all other Erin's men, nor thereby should he suffer resulting disadvantage, save that his life must be fleeting, short.’ “‘And it is true for me,’ said Cathbad; ‘noble and famous indeed thou shalt be, but transitory, soon gone.’ “‘Little care I,’ said Cu Chulainn, ‘nor though I were hut one day or one night in being, so long as after me the history of myself and doings may endure.’

:’)

After that, smol Cú hops on a chariot, drags an unwilling guardian with him because he needs parental supervision and someone to drive for him, and just goes out into the world to do some adventures and murders. But his moment glory doesn’t last long because Conall Cernach wanted to tag along to do the protecc. Smol Cú pouts. But let’s not forget that Cú is a little shit so soon Cú tricks Conall to force him to return to Ulster and not interfere in his first adventure-quest! Cú Chulainn’s My First Errand! (Btw, yes, Cú actually calls it his first adventure-quest!) His current charioteer is lowkey terrified of smol Cú and the fact that they’re going towards the territory of some of the greatest enemies of Ulster but he still obeys the child.

And then Cú has a fun time beheading Ulster’s enemies and calling his charioteer a little bitch. Before returning, Cú decides that he wants to be extraTM so he captures a flock of swans and a herd of wild deers. He also returns angry, ríastrad levels of angry so the people of Ulster went ‘oh shit, he’s gonna kill all of us’. But Conchobar pulls a ‘trust me on this one, guys’ plan and made some of the women bare their chests at Cú so that he would get embarrassed and cover his eyes, which he did! So they took that chance to dunk Cú into 3 barrels of cold water (the water of the first barrel evaporated, the second one boiled and the third one got warm). After that, smol Cú was wrapped in a mantle, sat on Conchobar’s lap and received plenty of head pats. The end.

A couple last details! Whenever Cú gets too flustered, he blushes ‘a beautiful pink-red all over’ (aka from head to toe). So that’s a thing apparently? Finally, this is how the people of Ulster + narrator have called Cú so far: babe, little boy, little fellow, little one, beautiful boy, small boy, stripling. In other words, he’s baby.

[37q]

back when your blog was 37q you'd occasionally talk about your guam yin devotion. could you please tell us more about your faith and religious/spiritual practices and beliefs? i find that super cool!

omg hi ! i have no idea how long this has been sitting in my inbox so i apologize if i kept you waiting! im flattered you remember me and my faith!

funny enough ive been experiencing a spiritual resurgence over the past few months, probably due to the fact that quitting smoking (on and off, im currently in the “quitting” part of the cycle) has helped with my dedication, critical thinking, and passion. i guess i could give you a general synopsis of my history as a buddhist?

so i started practicing in like, 2013. my world history professor, who was a buddhist, was super compassionate and structurally aware, so i guess you could say ive always felt drawn to how the faith plays into my understanding of justice and my critique of patriarchy, imperialism, capitalism, and white supremacy since i was a freshman in high school.

ive always been far too philosophical for my own good, so when i first began my pursuit it all just made so much fucking logical sense. idk how deep you want me to go into the actual beliefs, so follow-up if you want further explanation about what exactly made sense to me, just so i dont overexplain then. the long and short of it is that impermanence is the only permanent thing we have in this world. however i felt detached from the reality of the faith due to the fact that a lot of western secular practices of buddhism turn away from theology. reading nagarjunas mulamadhyamakarika and tsongkhapas essence of true eloquence is really what tied together the logic and the faith for me. impermanence is one thing, but dependent origination and emptiness are even better baselines to walk thru life with imo.

i also just found it terribly boring to actually practice plain self-reliance, with no involvement of bodhisattvas or anything else whatsoever. the Just Sit attitude never vibed with me, since i find that an enriching spiritual practice involves far more ritual and dedication then what can be chalked down to self-help enlightenment. aspiration and visualization are like fertilizer for blossoming bodhicitta. the path wasnt handed to us on scrolls, it was developed by individuals before us who suffered and then snuffed out the flame of suffering. i dont implant my face onto another bodhisattvas body, i see the striking resemblance between my innate buddhanature (which is to say, the negation of the negation of the negation of the self) and the different powers and aspects and trials that bodhisattvas and buddhas repressnt. lotuses dont bloom without sunlight, after all.

then i officially came out to myself in a transish lesbianistic sense (despite always actually being a lesbian lol, just this time it involved weird gender stuff), and i not-so-suddenly found myself drawn to avalokiteshvaras female form, guanyin. i consider myself a devotee of hers; ive had an altar for her in my living space since like 2016 i think? when i developed a self at 14 i vowed to be less hateful, when i grew a soul at 17 i vowed to be compassionate. guanyin is literally compassion embodied, and i adore how her endless merit helps in the here-and-now as well as in the realization of the ultimate reality. ive always resented the idea that worldly problems can be solved exclusively with enlightenment. this is why ive always been attracted to the mahayana path anyway, because bodhisattvas dont reach nirvana until EVERYONE does.

im also mostly into tibetan tradition, which doesnt exactly involve guanyin but a little mitotic bud of avalokiteshvaras tears, tara (namely the green tara). as you can tell, female iconography is important to me, and its a political choice to practice in this way for me. one of tara’s vows really speaks to me, a translation of which can be found here. heres a short quote from it, the cheekiest part tbh.

"There are many who wish to gain enlightenmentin a man’s form,and there are but few who wish to work for the welfare of living beingsin a female form.Therefore may I, in a female body,work for the welfare of beingsright until Samsara has been emptied.”

before i even found tara or guanyin, id ALWAYS said that when i reach bodhisattvahood id willingly rebirth myself as a female. it was a little too apt of a similarity for me to pass up.

so what i generally do is some general stuff like prostrations, offerings, refuge, vows, repentance, and then i invoke tara and guanyin individually thru prayers, sutras, and mantras that are associated with them. this can range from the heart sutra to the 25th chapter of the lotus sutra. i chant guanyins name and i pay homage to all of the taras just so i dont show favoritism for her greenliness. im always curating my daily practice to make my future the way i see it, and involving a lil bit of goddess worship that may or may not have buddhist origins has never hurt my practice.

tl;dr connecting with women is one of the main ways i develop bodhicitta (reaching enlightenment purely for the sake of aiding the cessation of all living beings suffering). transferring merit from wholly compassionate females to those seeking relief is my inspiration. finding that in an ultimately patriarchal religion has been difficult and requires creativity and a dash of syncretism. i find joy not in a solitary path to enlightenment but one that requires not just ritual activity but ACTION.

[bleusarcelle]

I think one of the most impressive things about you and other writers on tumblr is that it seems like you understand the god awful text formatting.

watcha mean bro?

bc I see the word impressive and the word awful in the same message so im getting confused. 

like…text formating as in the text format my blog has? or like, the text format my writing has? 

bc, I mean, if it is the second one OH BOY LET ME TELL YA. LET ME TELL YOU MY FRIEND ABOUT THAT. 

LIKE

EVERYONE THINKS BEING A FUCKING WRITER IS THE EASIEST SHIT EVER. LIKE, PSH YEAH YOU A WRITEr? WHATEVEEEEER ~

WHILE NO. ITS NOT WHATEVER BC ITS ACTUALLY THOSE TINY DETAILS THAT MAKES READING PLEASEANT YOU PIECES OF SHITS, LIKE??? 

CAN YOU BELIEVE? THIS IS AN EXTRACT OF A WRITING I DID BACK IN 2010: 

Porcierto, olvide mencionar que soy una enamoradiza de primera?, si?, que buenoque ya les dije, no es que me obsesione como algunas chicas que no tienen vidani nada, pero para mi es algo fácil enamorarme, & eso es el causante de mi únicoproblema, bueno, claro quitando de lado los exámenes de ingreso a la prepa,presiones con el estudio, Xv a los cuales soy dama & tengo que asistir, lasclases de baile, etc., mi gran problema es EL!,si, EL!, pueden pensar que no es tanmalo como suena,…PERO LO ES!, les explico, ELse llama James  Underwood Kingrom, tiene15 años, al igual que yo pero el es mayor por 4 meses, es el Señor-mírenme-soy-popular-atlético-&-todas-las-chicas-se-mueren-por-mi,esta largo no? Déjenme decirles que ese es su apodo corto! es en serio!, cuales mi problema con el?, pues…que esun engreído, arrogante, presumido, orgulloso, mujeriego, celoso, entrometido, chicoque puede haber en toda la secundaria!, & LO PEOR!; ESTOY ENAMORADA DE EL!, no me malentiendan , es solo que,hay algo en el que me atrae ciegamente, un no-se-que!, & me molesta esoporque me pongo tan pensativa-romántica al pensar en el, después de todo puede llegar a ser…amable, caballeroso, educado, responsable, amigable, guapo,divertido, con unos ojos azul cielo como el cielo despejado, & una sonrisaque ilumi…….VEN DE LO QUE HABLO!!??, ugh! Ya notan mi problema?, el punto aquíes que me gusta & no me agrada para nada eso!, me falta mencionar que estamosen el mismo salón pero eso no quiere decir nada, el no me toma ni como su amiga, solo como otra compañera del salón,es decepcionante, & mas su mala actitudde “tengo a todas las chicas que quiera, lero lero!”; tengo ya queaceptarlo, es decir, como YO? Alguien que elya creo que ni se da cuanta de que existo le puedo gustar?, suspiropesadamente, mejor ya me olvido de el, no vale la pena, no valieron aquellaslagrimas por el, no vale la pena elpara pensar en el, no la vale.

That’s a fucking entire paragraph. No fucking space. No ….sense whatsoever. It’s jsut. Cringy. cringy. cringy. cringy. 

And this is me now, in 2017: 

Lance would take the bait, he really would, but he can’t, not when Keith’s eyes shine with playfulness and mischievousness, arching an daring eyebrow at him. Not when Keith’s cheeks are colored in a soft pink color and his hair is pushed back, allowing Lance to see his dark blue eyes clearly.

There’s something hypnotizing about Keith under the three moons of the planet they are currently on. Maybe is the fact that Keith’s wearing his jacket? Nah, can’t be, even though it looks like it was made for him and it makes Lance’s heart flutter.

Maybe it was the trees? The big tall trees filled with small flowers that resemble to the roses back on Earth, except these ones were covered in a pale red color mixed with green.

Lance doesn’t know, and it’s not like he wants to figure it out. He’s just glad that whatever is there around them stays, because it’s been so long since he has seen Keith so carefree, so at ease.

He doesn’t want it to end.

SURE OK, IT MIGHT STILL BE CRAP BUT IT’S NOT 2010 CRAP. SO LIKE???

THE FUCKING TEXT FORMAT AND HOW YOU PLACE THINGS IS SO DAMN IMPORTANT. 

I HAVE SEEN FICS THAT HAVE EVERYTHING IN ONE SINGLE PARAGRAPH AND I CLOSE THAT TAB LIKE LIGHTNING BC MY EYES HURT TO SEE DIAGLOUE AND NARRATION ALL CRAMP UP. 

 LIKE? 

IDK WHY IM YELLING, THAT’S PROBABLY WHAT YOU DIDN’T EVEN MEANT TO TALK ABOUT BUT I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND I THOUGHT MIGHT AS WELL RAMBLE ABOUT IT BC I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THAT. 

CONCLUSION: I NEED FOOD AND A NAP BC IM REALLY TIRED BUT I ALSO MISS BEING ON TUMBLR AND TALKING WITH YOU ALL. 

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

Riverdale request!!: something with Jughead having a bad Bad cold and sneezes all over betty while she takes care of him and she ends up getting Sick. Thank you!! Idk if you're taking requests so I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you!!

(Yo anon! Since my Jughead is aro/ace, or maybe gray aro, this is platonic Bughead!! :)) Hope that’s cool with you!! Anyway, thanks so much for the prompt, it was fun writing it! I absolutely love Jughead and Betty interactions and I think they work so well together!! Also anon ur not disturbing me, silly! I loved it!! I’m always up for your requests!)

Jughead sneezed harshly into his t-shirt for what was probably the hundredth time that morning. The process of sneezing over and over again was exhausting and he felt so drained from the repeated process.

Archie winced  as he watched the boy weakly muster out his sneezes, despite how weak he clearly was his sneezes still came out with brute force, which clearly didn’t help his weakened state.

Jughead had been sick for about two days at this stage. He had given off the odd extra sneeze and cough here in there to begin with, then his voice became a little stuffy and Jughead initially blamed it on allergies, then went to bed. The next day he had a full blown cold, and had gone to school. Archie found him standing outside his history classroom when he had gone to the bathroom sneezing his lungs out, and then learned that he was kicked out of the test because of how much he was disrupting the class.

“I don’t want to leave him alone like this, dad,” Archie expressed to Fred who was standing a few feet away from him.

“Neither do I, Archie. Maybe we can postpone–”

Jughead shook his head violently, “No! Don’t! I know how much seeing your mom means to you, Arch–trust me, I would know–and it’s honestly just a bad cold. Nothing that can kill me.”

Archie did not look convinced whatsoever, “Still! You look dreadful, Jug.”

Jughead shot him a thumbs up, “Thanks dude.”

Fred raised an eyebrow, “Jughead, you know what he means. But still, it doesn’t feel right to be leaving you here..”

Jughead groaned loudly, “Guys, honestly, I’m fine.”

“What if you died?!”

Jughead grinned, “Then I’d be the first person to die of a cold! Wouldn’t that record look great on the mantle??”

Archie looked genuinely terrified.

Jughead rolled his eyes, “Oh my god, Archie. It’s a joke. I’ll be fine–if anything goes wrong, I’ll call the Coopers who are literally next door.”

Archie nodded, while obviously still anxious, “Okay, fine.”

Fred nodded as well and whipped his car keys out, “Okay, so we’ve left you more than enough money for the weekend, money for food, medicine and some snacks..but there is enough soup and other easy to heat up food, and enough medicine and Archie loaded you up on snacks. And I think you’re okay on refills.  Uh, yeah, ring us if there’s anything wrong.”

Jughead shrugged and smiled, “Honestly, I’ll be fi–” he was cut off by an abrupt, loud sneeze he barely managed to turn to the side, and grinned sheepishly, “fine. I’ll be fine. Have a good weekend, you guys.”

Archie gave him a smile, but the congestion laced in his hoarse, baritone voice as opposed to his usual tenor got him super worried so he ran to him and gave him a huge hug, for good measure.

Jughead pretended to vomit, “Eugh, I’m going to get the Andrews disease.”

“Please don’t die, Jug,” Archie laughed and gave his hair a ruffle and followed his dad to the doorway.

“Yeah kid, look after yourself, okay?” Fred smiled as he left the house and unlocked the car.

Once they took off and were out of his sight, Jughead leaned back and slumped against the cough, pulling the fleece blanket tighter around his shivering frame. As he rummaged around, he accidentally hit the remote and switched the channel to a Transformers film, and instantly, his nose began to twitch and an extremely intense tickle began to brew in his nose.

Now that he was alone, he really didn’t care about how stupid his pre-sneeze expression was, and how ridiculous his twitchy nose looked, and how loud he was hitching. He also didn’t care about how explosive and loud his release was, the fit lasting for about 5 sneezes. He didn’t bother covering either. He made a face at the mist he saw forming before him and shrugged.

He glared at the shitty movie before him, “I’m fucking allergic to your bullshit, Michael Bay.”

Jughead hadn’t even realised he had been dozing off–he didn’t realise he could, the Big Lebowski was on–until the doorbell rung out. He jolted awake and sniffled, wondering who it could have been. He figured it was some advertiser dude or someone trying to get him to convert to some religion, and he really wasn’t up to that. Hopefully he would scare them away with how awful he looked.

Jughead padded over to the front door and opened, only to be surprised to see the bright and bubbly Betty Cooper, holding a pink bag that resembled a Children’s Nursing Kit.

“..Betty?” Jughead stammered, not even sure if what he was seeing was real or if this was some weird fever illusion.

“Jughead! You look worse than I thought,” She frowned as she took in his sickly appearance.

Jughead sniffled, wiping his nose quickly on the back of his hand, “Hm, didn’t think I could possibly downgrade even more, thought I was already at rock bottom in terms of the look department.”

Betty looked shocked, “Juggie! Don’t say that about yourself–”

Jughead laughed at her softly, “Betty–I don’t care about that sorta thing, it’s cool. Just a joke.”

“Anyway, how did you know I was–Archie,” Jughead growled, groaning loudly at the very thought of Ginger Judas himself.

“Well I’m glad he told me, Juggie! I wouldn’t want you all sick by yourself,” Betty exclaimed, taking in his features and pressing the back of her hand against his cheek, frowning.

Jughead rubbed at his nose, his eyes growing hazy as he turned away from Betty and sneezed harshly twice into the crook of his arm and turned back to see her worried eyes. “M'fine,” He said stuffily, not sounding very convincing.

Jughead stepped back to let her in and flopped back at the couch, resting his head on one of the pillows. Betty walked into the house and put her bag down.

“Archie called me like 10 minutes after I saw him and Mr Andrews leave the house panicking because he was so worried about you. He thinks you’re going to drown yourself in your own snot,” Betty explained, taking off her jacket.

Jughead raised his eyebrow at his friend’s antics, “..Well, I’m flattered.”

Betty shrugged as she pulled a container of homemade soup out of her bag, “He’s only worried about you, Jug. So am I, actually. But hey listen, I’m here to make it all better!”

Jughead gave her a small smile, “Your everlasting sunshine and youthful glow is seriously withering my dark and gloomy aesthetic, Betty but I–is that soup?! Did you make me soup?! Jesus, you didn’t have to!”

Betty tutted, “Don’t raise your voice! That’s not good for your throat. But I know you love my soup when you have a cold, with my secret formula and things! That’s why it took me a little bit to get here.”

Jughead chuckled lowly, “What’s the secret ingredient? Mr Krabs’ secret formula?”

Betty simply rolled her eyes as she made her way to the kitchen to retrieve a spoon, “I’ve got to text Archie that I’m here, he’s probably making Mr Andrews’ brain burst at this stage!”

Jughead could picture that perfectly–Archie spluttering and spitting out nonsense and gibberish at his dad, making Fred seriously reconsider his choices. Hopefully Betty would text him soon, for Fred’s own sanity, of course.

Betty came back with a spoon and gave Jughead the bowl with the spoon, throwing another blanket around him as she noticed his shivering, and how the bowl seemed to rattle when she placed them in his shaking hands.

“Are you warm enough?” She asked gently, for Jughead to nod in response.

Jughead dipped the spoon into the soup and placed it into his mouth, despite his congestion and impaired taste sense, he could taste the signature creamy, flavourful goodness of Betty’s soup.

He smiled at her, “Betts, you never cease to amaze me.”

Betty shrugged, opening up a packet of chips she had taken from the kitchen ,“It might just be because all you eat is fast food junk so this is a nice change for you.”

Jughead rolled his eyes and continued to eat his soup, and changed the channel as Ratatouille came on.

Betty raised an eyebrow, “I didn’t know that film noir, art house film loving Jughead Jones would be into Pixar.”

Jughead huffed, “They’re particularly good on sick days! I don’t want to spend my sick day trying to decipher the hidden meaning behind some Nicolas Winding Refn film.”

Jughead’s breath began to hitch and he turned his head to the side, away from Betty and raised an arm to his face. He pitched forward twice and caught two explosive, wet sneezes into his arm.

Betty jumped, “Jesus! That was..quite a sneeze.”

Jughead sniffled and laughed softly, “They’re the absolute worst and I hate them. I can’t for the life of me control them–it’s awful when you’re someone like me who doesn’t want attention. I try to stifle sometimes–but then I just can’t stop!”

Betty smiled fondly at him and reached over to ruffle his hair, only noticing that he was without the signature grey beanie. It was still a little odd to see him without it.

“They’re fine, Jughead. No one really pays attention half the time,” She reassured.

Jughead’s eyes grew distant once again and his breath hitched once again, inhaling sharply, but found that the sneeze just wouldn’t come out and he was left continuously gasping for breath and nose twitching like a rabbits. He let out a tiny groan before looking up at a window, and once the light hit his eyes the next two sneezes came out.

Betty looked oddly impressed, “You’re one of those sun people!”

Jughead laughed a little at her excitement and rolled his eyes, “Yes, I’m an alien from the Sun. I come in peace–I only wish to learn about the human’s odd, odd ways.”

Betty hissed playfully and whacked his arm, “Ugh! You know what I mean!”

Jughead laughed at her, “Yeah yeah, one of those sun people. My body hates me, we’ve all established.”

Betty munched on her chips and watched as Remy the rat began to roam Paris, “Uh, I know this is a little awkward but..are you okay?”

Jughead grinned, “My entire body is consumed by what appears to be a plague but otherwise, yes, I appear to be functioning and not on the brink of death.”

Betty sighed, “No, Jug. You know what I mean.”

Jughead laughed, “Oh, you mean that my best friend has gone off to see his mother who loves him with his father who is stable enough with said mother that they can be in the same room as each other?? And I can’t have that? Y'know because my mom hates me and my dad loves me but is still deadbeat and also in jail?”

Betty bit her lip, knowing that Jughead used humour as a coping mechanism and that it was probably the fever talking. Jughead was also known for his darker humour, but one thing she couldn’t ever know despite knowing him since childhood was wether things were affecting him or not.

“..Jughead, you know that none of these things are your fault?”

“Yeah, I know that. I genuinely do Betty.”

She still looked concerned.

Jughead sighed, “Betty, I’m doing better than I’ve been in a while. Yeah it sucks and sometimes it makes me really anxious and sad but today..everything’s fine. Well, I have an awful fucking cold but aside from that, I’m fine.”

“like meds help–like I was so against it to begin with because Fred is paying for it and I hate the fact he’s spending on me, but it helps, Betts,” Jughead said, a lot more genuine and slow.

Betty smiled at him, relieved and more relaxed, “I’m glad Jug. We’ve all been so worried about you these past few weeks..”

Jughead chuckled, “You and Archie, you mean?”

Betty shook her head, “No! Veronica and Kev too. Honestly Jug, your self esteem is almost as low as..as..Veronica’s height.”

Jughead burst into laughter, “Fuck! I wish I had recorded that! I’d kill to see her face if she knew you called her that.”

Betty flushed red, “You wouldn’t tell her, would you?!”

Jughead raised an eyebrow teasingly, “To blackmail you, maybe.”

Betty groaned loudly and smacked Jughead on the head playfully, ending up grabbing at a curl and twiddling it around her finger. She seemed a little impressed.

“I didn’t expect your hair to be so soft?” Betty commented.

“Makes up for my cold hard, stoic exterior,” Jughead replied.

Betty scoffed and chuckled lightly, “You are a massive softie at heart, Jughead Jones. Who went to Kevin’s little cousin’s birthday party and bought her a present because she had a crush on you?”

Jughead went slightly red, not wanting to admit how soft he genuinely was, “It was just..uh..Kevin pressured me.”

Betty laughed, knowing full well that was not the story. The gang had all gone to Kevin’s house, who was surprised by his little cousin and aunt being at his house. His little cousin clearly took a liking to Jughead and drew him a picture. Jughead’s heart burst but when confronted by his friends, he pretended he didn’t care.

Betty left it for now, and took the bowl from Jughead who had finished his soup and took it to the dishwasher. Once that was done with, they spent the remainder of the movie in a comfortable silence, with a few interruptions from Jughead’s coughing and sneezing, as well as a few funny comments here and there.

As the two moved on to Inside Out, Betty pulled out her bag to retrieve a bag of chamomile tea.

Jughead raised an eyebrow, “Since when have you become Nurse Joy?”

Betty laughed, “I figured we should do the thing when we were kids and we played sick and I always took care of you. In fairness, you were sickly then, so chances were you probably were actually sick.”

She left the room to make the tea in the kitchen and by the time Riley had acquired all of her emotions, she returned with the tea and the medicine Fred had left.

“Don’t dry swallow these, it’s why I made you the tea,” Betty warned, and passed him the two objects. Jughead obliged.

Jughead reached for the toilet roll to blow his nose when Betty slapped his hand.

“No way are you using that! That’s awful for your nose, here, I brought you the nice lotion ones,” Betty explained as she pulled out her pink bag and passed them over to Jughead.

Jughead raised an eyebrow, “Is that Mary Poppins’ bag? What else do you have in there?”

He then proceeded to pluck one out and blow his nose, wincing at the sound and chucked the tissue into the bin. He then took the tea back and continued to sip at it.

“Speaking of bad tissues, look at your nose, Jughead. It’s literally bright red and chapped! Here, I’ve got something that can help..” She pulled out some ointment out of magic bag.

Jughead looked impressed and also shocked, and hadn’t had time to react until Betty was standing before him and applying ointment onto his already tender, sensitive nostrils.

His nose reacted quickly, his nostrils beginning to twitch as a result of the rubbing. His nose tickled so bad but he couldn’t quite cover his nose because he was holding onto the rather large tea mug and couldn’t put it down anywhere without spilling it everywhere.

“B-Betty..please..I’m gonna..hhh..!! I really need to..hehh!!snn..” He hitched breathlessly, trying to scrunch up his nose and withhold his sneeze. His disobedient nostrils kept twitching with desperation, desperate to sneeze.

Betty laughed softly, “Jug! You look like a little bunny..”

“B..be..betty..p..p-please!! hhh..” Jughead pleaded but alas was too late, his body fully committing onto the sneeze, inhaling sharply, eyes shutting as he let out a loud, harsh sneeze that caused the tea to rattle and spill a little bit on his lap. The worst thing is that he knew that that sneeze certainly was not dry in any sense of the word.

“Fuck–Betty im so–” This time Betty did move to the side so he could aim his sneezes elsewhere and sneezed three more times, so harsh and powerful they completely drained him of energy. He was exhausted when he finished.

“Bless you!” Betty exclaimed, competely unfazed by the entire debacle.

“Betty, I’m so so sorry, that was so gross and horrible! I’m so sorry, you’re gonna get sick now, I’m really–”

“Oh my god Jug, stop. It’s fine, honestly. Honestly it was my fault, I didn’t move out of the way, but your pre-sneeze face is just so cute??”

Jughead gagged, “Eugh, how can any aspect of sneezing be cute? But now you’re going to get sick and–”

Betty shrugged, “I was destined to get sick the moment I stepped into this house. It’s fine, Jughead, really. I want to help you.”

Jughead sighed, “I just don’t like it when people are nice to me at their own expense, it makes me feel awful.”

Betty tutted, “Hey, c'mon Jug. You’d do this for me. You’re always such a giver, sometimes you have to be a taker! And stop with this I don’t deserve kindness bullshit, you deserve it just as much as any of us. Now shut your emo ass and let’s watch Inside Out, okay?”

Needless to say, Jughead was right. Betty had done Jughead a good at her own expense, and about three days later Betty had come down with what he had. Granted, her better immune system made the illness not quite as bad as he had it, but the illness was dreadful, so of course it was still miserable.

Jughead made his way up the stairs, still at complete disbelief on how he was even allowed onto the Cooper household. As a child he had never been able to step in, on very few occasions he was, but rarely. Alice didn’t want FP Jones’ son in her house. However, Hal was the only one home, so perhaps that would explain it.

He knocked gently before walking in to see Betty curled up in bed, blankets strewn about as she watched a rom com on her laptop. The room smelled of tea. She was pale and sick looking, but Jughead didn’t really care. He really wasn’t one for appearances anyway.

“Hey, I’m so sorry about this, this cold sucked,” Jughead expressed guiltily.

Betty looked up and when she saw it was him she smiled, “Really, Jughead. It’s not a problem. Actually..as awful and dreadful as this is..My Mom wanted to bring me to some lecture about Good Behaviour and Respect today, and I would actually die if I had to go. Now I have an excuse.”

Jughead scrunched up his nose, “..Yeah..I’m sure this cold isn’t as miserable as that.”

Betty laughed hoarsely and gestured towards her bed, “Here, sit over here. We can continue our Pixar Marathon. You were right, Pixar is great for sick days.”

Jughead grinned, “What are we watching?”

“All the Toy Story’s. Wait, what’s that,” She asked, pointing at Jughead’s hands.

Jughead turned a little red, “..Uh..it’s soup. I figured that it was only right since you got me soup. Um, it’s not that special or as nice as your soup. I-it’s Campbell’s, actually, but uh..”

“Its soup,” Betty chuckled and took the bowl from him and dug in. She coughed softly, and moved over a little to give Jughead some space.

“It’s not bad,” Betty commented.

Jughead shrugged, “You’re just saying that so I don’t tell Veronica you said she was short.”

Betty laughed, “But she is. She’s like a little cupcake, adorable, but tiny! She can try all she wants to be tall with killer heels, but there’s no escaping the fact she’s a tiny little fairy!”

As she finished her sentence, Jughead pressed ‘stop recording’ on his phone.

“Jug..oh my god, Jug! Delete that!” She squealed.

“No way, Josè!” Jughead laughed, as the two began to play fight and ended up a giggling pile of mess.

[flame-cat]

idk why im making this but its fun, maybe some fahc writers can use it

note- since im making these notes to fit into fahc-verse, i use she/her with jack. more to be added... uh... whenever

asset seizure and firewall protection

almost immediately- gavin calls money "bundts." ryan immediately understands what he means :25- jack points out ryans fish tank is broken. ryan insists its supposed to look that way, and that jack doesnt understand art :47- ryan insists everyone try on costumes. michael is the only one not upset about his fashion choices 1:10- gavin admits that "none of these outfits are more douchey than what i usually wear." michael agrees

1:50- michael explains jack is replacing jeremy. gavin says he feels sorry for jeremy. michael says "you feel sorry for him, but thats not stopping you from joining." gavin agrees 3:20- "michael, you wanna fistfight on the helipad?" gavin says, with no prompting whatsoever. michael nonchalantly agrees, but says he cant make it up there, and suggests gavin jump from the roof to the lobby below. gavin does so. jack immediately runs at gavin and punches him in the face. michael joins the brawl against gav soon after. gavin loses. ryan, meanwhile, just sorta lets them have their fun 5:20- gavin: "because this is the vehicle that most, closestly, resembles, my face, can i drive it?" *referring to the "nose car"* 5:30- ryan expresses discomfort at the others' revealing attire. michael jokes "you know you want it" 5:54- gavin: "oh, jack, nice pair of tits!" jack: "oh, thank you! ive been working out" 6:10- *no prompting* gavin: "oh, dude, im jumpin' out!" ryan *nonchalant*: "why?" jack: "bye, gavin!" gavin: "wheee!" ryan: "dont die this time." 6:20- ryan: "its on hard. cause we're hard... core." 6:35- gavin *confused and slightly disappointed*: "i dont think theres anyone to shoot" 7:05- michael: "oh, ryan, youre in the coolest spot" ryan: "yeah, no, this is the death spot" michael: "yeah, youll die, but youll look cool doing it" 7:15- jack *a little sarcastically* "good thing we all have body armor on" *everyone but michael laughs* michael: "i do..." 7:40- *gavin nearly flips the car, everyone yells* ryan: "gavin! this is why we dont let you drive the car!" michael *nonchalant*: "its ok, im still hangin on" noteworthy throughout- everyone appears to cringe and make distgusted noises at civilians being hurt, but laugh at the same time in a grotesquely fascinated way 8:40- *gavin crashes, everyone falls off* gavin: "ive found the first road block" ryan: "didjya??? is it your driving skills??" noteworthy- ryan always appears most peeved at gavins lack of driving skills. michael usually takes it in stride noteworthy- jack is usually the least vocal in times of crisis 9:20- gavin expresses pride in taking out some trucks and cars. ryan is preoccupied with the fact that he was shot multiple times. michael, indignant, says he "was bippin" noteworthy- michael and ryan tend to argue in times of crisis. its usually michael who starts it 9:40- ryan abandons the vehicle in favor of shooting people on foot, unhappy with gavins driving. he passes it off as "being able to shoot better" but its a thinly veiled passive aggressive jab at gavins apparent unconcern for his friends wellbeing noteworthy- ryan is the king of snark 9:45- gavin sends a car flying into the river, and cheers and hollers. michael nonchalantly says "that was actually... the was pretty awesome." he doesnt seem sarcastic 9:45- meanwhile, having said nothing this whole time, jack is on foot trying to actually complete the mission, probably aware ryan is also, but not with him. she launches an explosive and sets it off, very close to ryan, who appears alarmed. jack just intones "thats me dont worry," and ryan just responds "ok" and doesnt bring it up again noteworthy- jack likes to get things done on her own. so does ryan. ryan and jack appear to have a silent agreement not to get in each others way. ryan appears more forgiving to jack when/if she screws up noteworthy- gavin is always the first and loudest to react to things. ryan follows close behind, more agitated than elated, michael next, and then jack, who mostly seems peeved noteworthy- ryan always gets most agitated with gavin, but its usually when gavin comes close to hurting him noteworthy- though they go off on their own a lot, they keep up constant communication 10:20- ryan: "oops, i shot gavin a bit" gavin: "ah, thats alright." ryan: "dont die. nobody die" *sounding strained* 10:50- not planned, but ryan and michael end up on loading, gavin keeps cops off them with the truck, jack is on foot doing the same 11:40- ryan: "uh, probably someone else should drive... since gavins gonna have to hop out and get drugs" gavin: "nah, ill hop out when we get there" ryan: "...okay" 11:44- unprompted, michael checks to see if ryan is ok. which he is not. short while later, michael mentions hes not doing much better, to which ryan expresses a small amount of concern. no one else comments 11:48- michael falls out somehow. gavin just laughs 12:10- jack: "woohoo! bye, fuckers!" noteworthy- michael seems very subdued here 12:13- michael mentions inevitable failure. gavin: "dyou think we will?" *genuinely suprised* 12:25- michael eggs gavin on as he crashes into and flips cars. he then remembers that he should probably be doing something about the cops behind them. jack agrees, apparently not paying attention either 13:10- gavin makes zooming sounds as they drive off. this appears to be something he does a lot. no one else comments on it 13:35- *approaching a road block* gavin: "dude, which one should i hit?" ryan: "ALL OF THEM!" 13:45- everyone else yells in excitement. michael just seems a little shocked and says, a little louder than usual: "oh my god they fucking exploded" noteworthy- ryan is usually the one to remind the others of the task at hand. jack is content to ride back seat, and gavin and michael are busy being... well, them 13:50- michael *shooting cops*: "bipbipbipbipbipbipbip" gavin: *mimicking intense chase music* the others dont make a comment on it noteworthy- ryan and jack seem content to just let michael and gavin be weirdos without really paying attention to it 14:20- michael freaks out about being shot and dying. ryan, slightly panicked, just tells him not to die over and over again. it doesnt work noteworthy- when gavin asks a question, michael is quickest to reply. ryan is right behind him 15:00- gavin, probably realizing its only fair, asks if anyone wants to drive. ryan accepts after giving everyone armor noteworthy- while jack always gets pinned as "team mom," its more ryan than anyone else. jack tends to just do her own thing. i imagine she would be an excellent mercenary, since she tends not to ask a lot of questions 15:40- jack is not sitting very lady-like 15:45- everyone: *freaking out about to crash* *make it out ok* michael *calmly*: "we're good, we're good." it should be noted he's driving noteworthy- if we're assigning familial roles, then michael is the big brother 16:00- gavin falls out. michael says sorry through his chuckling 16:30- ryan: "its a linear plowing apparatus." what a massive dork 17:00- when jack laughs, theres no holding back. you wanna talk about cancer-curing laughs? right behind geoff ramsey 17:15- gavin is usually a step ahead of everyone else when thinking of ideas. when it comes to focusing on the present, though, he gets caught up in his own head noteworthy- gavin is always the first to admit when he's lost control of a situation noteworthy- ryan never outright rejects anyones ideas, almost ever. if he does, he usually provides sound reasoning, or is joking 17:30- gavin: "oh, i felt bad about that. a cop landed after your smash and i just executed him in the head." no one comments 17:55- roles are switched now: ryan is on foot as a mercenary, michael is doing the same in the truck, and gavin and jack are getting the goods. noteworthy- gavin uses birght fuscia weapons far more than gold ones 18:40- jack is focused and nearly kills ryan 19:20- gavin starts singing. jack boisterously joins in immediately. jack then goes on to talk about something he watched recently, and gavin seems interested 19:55- the truck nearly tips over. everyone freaks out briefly, but once the crisis is averted, gavin and jack immediately go back to their conversation. it should be noted michael is driving 20:20- this time the truck does flip over. michael runs over gavin accidentally. gavin doesnt seem perturbed, though, even when michael apologises. seconds later, he even comments that this "might be the best mission yet" noteworthy- gavin doesnt appear to care a whole lot for his own safety 21:20- jack starts singing. this time gavin joins in 21:40- gavin: "this is, like, fast and furious material. did they ever have one of these?" ryan: "uh, they shouldve" noteworhy- ryan appears to always have some sort of heavy weaponry on him. no one comments on this noteworthy- they discuss team responsibilities while theyre doing things. absolutely no planning whatsoever: they "work" on the fly 22:20- gavin panics about dying. ryan, again, helpfully tells him to "dont die, dont die, please." remarkably, this doesnt work the second time either