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notnctu · 4 years

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push & pull | kim doyoung

❀ slytherin!doyoung x hufflepuff!femreader ❀ genre - SLOW BURN, smut, fluff, a bit of humor (idk not rlly) ❀ details - hogwarts!au, fwb to lovers?, y/n is a player lol, jealous doyoung, mutual pining, doyoung is a lil mean ❀ word count - 9.7k ❀ warnings - explicit language, possessiveness (a concept of marking), dom!doyoung, angry sex?, slight dirty talk, penetration, fingering, praise kink ❀ synopsis - in which a prideful slytherin and an oblivious hufflepuff play a clueless emotion game of tug of war.

❝I thought Hufflepuffs are to be loyal, so why do you sleep with other men?❞

❝People say Slytherins are ambitious, so why didn’t you pursue me?❞ ❀ a/n - i changed the plot a little bit as i was writing lol but hopefully it still fits everything! i said this in the teaser, but i want to preface and say that the magic/marking is not canon to harry potter, and that the only thing im using are the sectional houses/subjects. besides that, everything is made up LMAO also pls b lenient with me, i read hogwarts!au but writing it is very out of my comfort zone and am very bad at creating anything magical

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Kim Doyoung, the Slytherin boy of your dreams, mindlessly and imperfectly steals glances your way across the dining tables and under several hundred floating lit candles. He sits huddled with his few posh friends that wear the same green and silver tie situated so tightly underneath their necks. And you, just looking as dazzling as ever, with your yellow and black tie hanging loose and a few buttons undone from your dress shirt.

He hates how easily you catch his attention and his ability to spot your figure in a dense crowd. You barely even look his way in public now, often distracted by a broad Gryffindor that tries to make flirtatious advantages at you. And when he thinks it can’t get any worse, it does… as you’re flashing your bright beautiful smile back at him and the shift in your body language.

“You’re staring again.” Yuta flickers between his friend and the subject of his focus.

Doyoung clears his throat, smooths his tie and physically turns his body away from the horrendous scene. “It’s very hard not to stare when she’s flirting with other men in front of me.”

“Does she do it on purpose?” The silver haired boy raises a questionable eyebrow and Doyoung reacts before he can speak.

He perks up and narrows his eyes at Yuta. “Purpose? Like to make me jealous?” Doyoung scoffs, laughs almost at the ridiculous thought. “The answer is no. We’re not exclusive, we’re nothing.”

“If you two are nothing, then why are you acting like you two are something? Get a grip, it’s practically sickening watching you fume over a ditzy Hufflepuff.” As Yuta prepares to bite into his delicious soft bread roll, it flies out of his grip, down the long table and onto another person’s plate.

Both boys are quick to stand to their feet and face each other chest to chest. Neither one of them is intimidated by the other, but their other friends around them are rather shocked by the sudden discrepancy.

Doyoung forcibly brushes off an imaginary dust off his good friend’s shoulders and draws a perfectly strained fake smile, knowing that others may be watching and he is a Prefect after all. But most importantly, you could be watching. “Call her that again, and your dinner won’t be the only thing that’s thrown across the table.” His threat is loud enough solely for Yuta to hear.

Yuta, with glaring eyes, picks up his dinner tray and walks off with his chin held high and a brisk in his stride. Doyoung clears his throat in the midst of the brief silence and out of habit, fixes his tie back in place. He takes a seat back down and the chatter at the table resumes, but he’s beyond embarrassed and disappointed at his loss of temper that everything drowns out.

Almost everything. He feels a light tap on his shoulder and out of annoyance, he spins around hastily and sharply snarls, “what?” But his eyes land on your fearful wide eyes and the slight cower in your stance, knowing that you caught onto his bad mood. And he’s half in disbelief that you’re approaching him right in the center of the Great Hall, that you’re standing so beautiful a foot away from him.

Instant regret and guilt fills his chest, his sharp eyes soften at your pout and the concerned furrow in between your brows. Nonetheless, he doesn’t have any words to say… he can’t get himself to apologize for his behavior.

“Do you want to walk to Herbology with me?” The quiver in your voice made you seem so small, so desperate for him, that he can hear the reactions of his friends. They’re laughing, at him, at you, at the whole scene that’s unfolding. He feels mocked, being a laughing stock isn’t something he’s very fond of.

His lips form a tight line, and in a snarky tone, “you don’t know your own way, Puff? Mind you ask your own Prefect to guide you.” Fuck. He tried to find the nicest way possible to brush you off, but his friends laugh a bit louder and intensely. And you didn’t like that one bit.

Your lips part slightly in a frown, an eyebrow raised and a hand on your hip. You look as if you’re ready to attack him, to jinx him, to probably pinch at his skin. But he knows you, and you’d do none of the above. Instead, you say the one threat that causes his heart to sink into the pit of his stomach, “don’t talk to me in class.” You’re slipping away from him as you pick up your pace, exiting all the commotion in the Great Hall.

He tries to hide the disappointment that stems from his chest, and his heart beats with an inexplicable dull pain. All he can think about is the twist of your expression and he’s gathering his things rather quickly to follow after you, without even a bid goodbye to his clique.

Without any knowledge of what you two do behind closed doors and the complex history that you two share, one may view your relationship as practically nonexistent; you two are strangers, barely passing acquaintances.

Doyoung does not approach you in the halls, in anywhere that necessarily has many witnesses. You smile at him, maybe even a wave depending on your mood, but no one questions it … as you wave at almost everyone who passes by you.

Classmates might see interaction during the one class you two share, if they pay attention close enough. However, you and Doyoung are much more to each other than passing acquaintances. Although he’s starting to see himself as another name on your list of individuals you sleep with, you are much more to him than you could ever know.

He’ll never forget the first time you two met. He was patrolling the halls for anyone lurking past curfew with his nose dug deep in his heavy book on magical creatures, when you walked right into him and caused the both of you to fall to the granite.

He was beyond ready to dock off points for whoever the rule breaker may be, but you took his breath away when you hovered above him and clasped your palm over his mouth before he can scold anyone. You looked a bit frazzled as your hair was all over the place and he noticed your minimal amount of clothing in the middle of a cold winter night.

He saw the signature Hufflepuff badge on your thin sweater and the sound of your voice completely threw him off his tracks.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper at the stunned Prefect underneath you, whose body feels warm against your own. But your eyes remain frantically on the lookout for anyone else passing, despite the lack of light in the cobblestone hallway. You most definitely do not belong in this wing of the castle and knocking down a Prefect caused more of a problem in your escape route.

Quickly standing up, you lend your hand out for him to take. His long fingers accept your hold as he pulls himself up and dusts the dirt off his robe. His green emblem glows in the dim light and you’re internally screaming at the mess you just made for yourself. But you recognize his features: the sharpness in his eyes, the small curves of the corners of his lips, his neatly parted black hair.

“You’re in some deep---”

“---Kim Doyoung.” The boy freezes at the sound of his name and he blinks at you, curious as to where you know of him. Being a Prefect has its small perks of popularity, but he didn’t expect for it to go this far. “Y/N, we had brooms together.”

As he repeats your name and examines your pretty features, a light bulb goes off in his head. “The clumsy Hufflepuff that fell off her broom in the highest altitude?”

“If that’s how you remember me by.” You smile proudly, and he scoffs at how someone could possibly hold pride in something so silly. “It’s nice to see you around, you’re a Prefect! Wow! That’s incredible.”

“And you’re still as clumsy as you were a year ago. Falling all over the place.”

“Unfortunately, some things don’t change! But you certainly have.” Doyoung looks at you with hooded eyes and a cautious gaze, but you’re so outlandishly bold despite swaying with your hands behind your back. “Please, don’t take that the wrong way. I meant it as a compliment! I used to have a tiny crush on you, baseless, but you helped me catch my broomstick and I’ll never be able to forget that.”

Doyoung, unknowingly, lights up at your shameless confession and takes another good look at you. You're much more mature now, and if he stared into your alluring gaze any longer, he’d be completely mesmerized without the need of a love potion. “So you liked me over a meaningless chivalrous act?”

“I liked you because you were charming and yes, perhaps I am someone who finds attractiveness in men who are chivalrous. There’s nothing wrong with that.” You bat your sweet eyelashes at him so endearingly, and he’s a blushing mess all over the place.

Doyoung has had anonymous love letters passed on from his friends, but they were all Slytherins who yearned greedily to be associated with his status. So knowing that a Hufflepuff, with an innocent youthful approach to love, festered some form of infatuation with him does flatter him quite well. “I’ll let you go.”

You’re about to exhale an exasperated sigh of relief until Doyoung continues, “under one condition.”

“Okay, I’ll do anything.” Your gleaming eyes sparkle like stars paired with the night sky.

He rolls his eyes at you, “don’t be so quick to jump at conditions without hearing them first.” Doyoung groans and you passively brush off his comment.

“If it’s harmless, I’ll do it.”

And in the dead of the night, where only you two stand in the middle of an empty cobblestone hallway, Doyoung requests, “I want to see you again.”

Although that night marked the beginning of your friendship, public interactions were still scarce and this was mainly on the fault of Doyoung. The times you met were late nights past curfew where he was stationed at and he grew to enjoy your wondrous personality. This boy grew up in a Slytherin bubble his whole life, no one outside of his house ever dared approached him … at least, not with the warmest smile as yours.

You were everything he was not, but he liked it so much. You were a half that completed his whole, and there were growing pains he couldn’t confide in anyone else. Surprisingly, you knew his imperfections more than he did himself and yet, you still wanted to be around him to encourage him. Not to mention, you had a sudden growth in other parts of your body and formed into your features very beautifully.

He wasn’t the only one who noticed, as there were more male counterparts who smiled at you, talked about you, fawned over you. And he felt something heighten inside of him along with his existing romantic feelings, and that he began seeing you in a new light.

With you experiencing new things, like hand holding and being showered by love letters on Valentine’s Day, it was wrong of him to fester such envy over the ones who publicly adorned you. He was so blinded by his hot headed rage that he completely missed the fact that you never accepted anyone who confessed, maybe the hand holding, but everyone else was a complete rejection.

All this time, you had been waiting for him and when you two shared your first kiss together, you had an assumption that Doyoung was going to finally confess that he felt the same way. But he never did. You two did, however, further your relationship into something more intimate and taking each other’s virginities opened a whole pathway of possibilities --- none being one where you two end up officially together.

He was the first to sleep with someone else, that was his first of many mistakes that he was going to make in his relationship with you. It also became the drop of the needle for you to start seeing other people as well, to explore what Doyoung couldn’t offer, to rid yourself of the feelings you had for a boy that didn’t seem like he wanted anything more.

Chivalry was dead and Doyoung believed that the innocent youthful Hufflepuff love had disappeared from within you.

As his present day runs after you, you’re abruptly stopped by a Ravenclaw for a small chat. Damn you Hufflepuffs for being friendly and social. So, he rushes past the two of you and into the classroom to await for your arrival. The quick shade of green flashes by your side and you’re fuming incredibly at how Doyoung continues to play you like a harp.

When you slide into your assigned seat next to him, he goes off like a canon. Doyoung starts spewing backhanded excuses and endless shameless rambles about his behavior. “I told you. Don’t talk to me during class or I will jinx you. Won’t be able to talk with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth.”

“You’re not going to jinx me.” With a subtle flick of his wrist, your chair is pulled closer to his. “And if you were to do so, you wouldn’t do something so cynical.” Yelping at the abrupt usage of his magic, you’re irritably pressing your ink into your journal with a newfound annoyance.

“You’re right. I’d turn you into a duck, so at least, you’re still cute to look at.” The mindless scribbles on the paper make no sense in your head, as you’re primarily zoned in on the disrupted energy you have about your Slytherin companion. These ill feelings make you almost sick, wanting to shut out any bad replay of the moments before and forgetting about the attention you seek so much from Doyoung.

“For you to successfully cast a jinx on me, you must make eye contact first.” His finger lifts your chin and you’re eye to eye with his lustful dark stare. Doyoung licks his lips, a shine shimmers from his saliva, and he’s tempted to bring you into his chambers for an intimacy he’s been craving. “My, oh my. You’re looking very charmed today.” A grin curves up and taunts you, and you’re blinking away down at the table.

“Doyoung, we’re in class. Please, focus.” Your desperate whisper turns into a whine once his cold hand slyly smooths over your bare knee.

“Are you free later tonight?” Doyoung peers over at your side profile and your skin feels soft at his fingertips. He’s imagining your intoxicating scent mixing with his sheets, your light playful kisses along his neck, and gripping onto every naked part of you. For a whole minute, he’s forgotten that he’s in class with other no name individuals and a boring professor. He has tunnel vision whenever he’s with you.

“I have an arrangement.” The grip on your knee tightens at your quiet answer. An arrangement.

“The Gryffindor who had leafy greens in between his teeth?” Doyoung treads lightly, because you’re both well aware he’s made harsher insults than that. He retrieves his hand and picks up his pen as if he’s never touched you.

He sees your head shake out of the corner of his eye, you’re rolling your lips together sheepishly. There’s something odd about your stance and he’s growing a bit more curious…. A bit more spiteful at how closed off you are being. There’s something you’re hiding from him. “Then, who?”

“Is there something you’d like to discuss with the class, Mr. Kim? If not, I’d like for everyone to head over to the greenhouse.” As the class slightly snickers and the classroom empties, you and Doyoung are stopped by your professor.

Professor Sprout, wearing her worn out Dragon hide gloves and a thin lined smile, shoves a potted plant into Doyoung’s hands, “behave, you two. Your conversations are never very secret when spoken aloud.” She gives both of you a warning before proceeding out along with the rest of the class.

Doyoung scoffs at the absurd encounter and rolls his eyes. “Ah, you’re getting me in trouble with you now.”

“I’m sorry, Doyoung. It’s better that you don’t know.” You say this every time, when will you realize that keeping your hookups a secret only causes him more agony? He catches your wrist as you both exit the corridors, he barely ever has you alone now. And to say the least, he fucking misses you.

“Spare me some of your time after class.” He’s disgusted by himself, knowing that his eyes are begging for you to say yes. Him, a highly admired Slytherin, has settled for scraps and if anyone knew, they’d never let him live.

Your hand gently clasps over his and when you look up with your starry eyes, something inside him feels at peace. “Did you miss me?” He gulps at your question and blinks at you like a deer in headlights. If said by anyone else, he would not hesitate to snap his fingers into a malicious spell. But you ask the million dollar question so sweetly, there’s no taunt… there’s no mockery in your tone. It’s full of genuine curiosity.

So, he answers you with part of his heart that you know too well. “Unfortunately.” His body falls slightly in defeat, and suddenly the potted plant is alive in his hands. It’s wailing a dangerous and annoying loud cry, completely ruining the moment.

Doyoung quizzically ponders the monstrous green plant and its magical capabilities puzzle him, possibly reminding him to pay more attention to the actual curriculum than on your unbuttoned shirt.

Moreover, your giggle surprisingly calms him in this stressful situation and you lightly pat his hand that’s still gripping your wrist. “I’m all yours after class.”

Taking the wretched plant, you hurry off toward the greenhouse to find someone to diffuse the crying creature. Doyoung laughs in disbelief at your comical animated figure running around with a pot over your head and shouting for any student to help you. So you’re not paying attention in class either?

Doyoung takes you to your favorite place, despite the rule that you’re not allowed access to it. The Prefect Bathroom remains spotlessly clean and fresh paired with an immediate scent of rosewater and wild honeysuckle. The white polished marble gleams prettily under the twinkling diamond chandeliers and you’re twirling enthusiastically in the center of the large undressing area.

He observes and smiles widely to himself at the sight of your happiness and cute giggles. It’s always a risk to have you use their bathroom, but he is always abusing his privilege to seek your enjoyment that he truly doesn’t care about anything else. Your morality has beaten him enough and he’s heard plenty about his wrongdoings, yet here you are… sweetly dancing in the one place that’s absolutely wrong. Perhaps, you two have rubbed off a little too much on one another.

“I can never get sick of this place.” As you plead to Doyoung to cast a bubble bath, you’re already stripping out of your skirt. He shields his eyes to give you some privacy and recites the charm to run hot dazzling water in the ginormous pool. A nice soothing bath is exactly what you two need after a stressful day playing in the dirt.

“This is your favorite place.” says Doyoung with a matter of fact edge to this tone.

“It’s my favorite place because I only get to come here with you.” You jump on his back and he hoists you up by your thighs. His heart skips a happy tune. “I refuse for you to tell me the password, even if you do wish for me to enjoy the simple pleasures of a bubble bath.”

“You and your right and wrongs.” With eager hands, you’re loosening his tie from around his neck. “You stripped so fast that you’re going to get a cold.”

“It’s going to get steamy really soon. Plus, I know you like me best without any clothes on.” Your hot breath tickles the shell of his ear and a blush scatters across Doyoung’s cheek. Button after button, his open shirt exposes his toned build. He sets you on the edge of the elevated step before the bath.

Doyoung smirks at your nakedness and your hot lustful expression. Leaning in until he’s practically breathing against your lips, he stares straight into your eyes. “My Puff knows me best.” And dives into you with all his soul. Fruitful drags of his lips along yours, his long tongue enters your mouth. His large hand carefully caresses your cheek to pull you further into the kiss, noses pressing into skin and with a desire to never part.

His heart swells lovingly, kissing you feels like the best thing in the world. There are no tricks, no spells, no recited charms, but you are more than magical. The same surge of energy runs through his veins, but unlike his impressive ability as a notable wizard, he can’t control it. You make him lose control. As meticulous and cautious as he is, you’re the first thing he doesn’t think through.

Your needy hands push off his dress shirt and he hurriedly unbuckles his belt. When you break the kiss, he automatically pouts and pulls you back in for one more lingering peck. “Are you going to scrub my back for me?” You smile, dragging him closer to the overflowing bathtub.

Large puffs of white bubbles spill from the rims and disappear with your every step. It reminds you of sea foam that washes upon the shore, with a floral fragrant that fills your lungs. “That’s quite an intimate gesture, but yes.”

After removing all his garments, he joins you in the large pool of glossy bubbles and the clouds of steam that rises from the water suffocates him warmly. He sits with his back against the wall and eyes unwavering on your alluring expression.

The bubbles do a great job at covering your breasts, but his sneaky hands snake under the water to grip them. Doyoung grabs a full tit and thumbs over your erect nipple, all while he holds the most sensual gaze with you. Slowly, you naturally end up in his hold and your wet back relaxes against his chest.

The beating of his heart is too loud and surely, you can feel the way it jumps out of his chest. Doyoung attaches his lips on your skin and as you’re melting at his harsh suckling. However, you perk up and snap out of your dazed arousal at the realization of his purposeful licks. “You’re trying to mark me?”

His hand continues to rub and twist your aching nipples. The sensation stimulating the growth of pleasure to sprout below and your mind to wander.

“Possibly.”

A lovers’ mark is the ultimate testament of mutual love. Engraving the skin with your beloved’s Patronus, wherever the giver chooses to mark. Love emblems are meant to be something sacred to the couple, a way to make someone completely untouchable to everyone else. Not only does the symbol glow with an iridescent shine whenever love is felt, it also numbs any romantic feelings for all others besides the partner.

Besides the use of possessiveness, it’s a beautiful way to discover one true love since the engraving of their Patronus shows up on the skin under the conditions that both individuals must be madly in love with one another. And if it doesn’t end up forming, the receiver is left with a bright, sparkling star hue in its place before fading away completely. If it does appear, it fades when both fall out of love.

“Doyoung--” His name falls from your lips as a moan and he’s running down to explore the beauty between your legs. “--can’t do that unless you actually want to commit to me.”

“I am committed to you.” The more your neck cranes off to the side and exposed to him, the more he wishes to etch the symbol of his love for everyone to see. A hand is hooked under your thigh to keep your legs spread open and you’re gasping at the slight pressure from the water.

“Romantically committed to me.” You remind him, but your train of thought is cut fairly short as Doyoung begins rubbing circles on your needy clit.

“You’re afraid of it showing up?” He’s lathering your breasts with bubbles and dragging his long finger along your slit. His greediness overtakes him and with wandering hands, he’s gripping every part of you that they can reach. Doyoung’s guilty pleasure is always going to any form of physical affection from you specifically. When he finally gets ahold of you, it’s hard for him to let go.

Your warm skin is delicate and smooth beneath the very tips of his fingers and every exploration of your terrain makes him feel inexplicable explosions of fondness. Perhaps, you’ve captivated him and although he believed it would take something as extreme as the Amortentia to have him falling for someone, you did it as easily as being yourself. His better half.

So, he’s impressed by your genuineness and how he’s willing to give up parts of his reputation to unapologetically be himself around you. No one else matters, nothing else matters, but why must it be so difficult to tell you that?

“I’m afraid of it not showing up.” You’re more than convinced that Doyoung has confused his strong sense of lust with love and there would be no possible way his Patronus would appear. It’s better to save the embarrassment for the both of you.

Spinning in his arms, the water twirls to the curves of your body and he’s admiring parts that expose above the surface. He’s matched with your beauty before him, resemblance to the stained glass window that situates above the large bathroom.

However, the doubt in your statement finally reaches his ears and he’s grabbing your ass as you settle over his thighs again. His furrowed eyebrows bring together a rather upset expression --- lip pout and all.

“Why wouldn’t it show up?” Doyoung puzzles, bringing your arms to wrap around his neck. Leaning into him, your pruney fingers trace his smooth chin and he notices your quick flicker between his eyes and his lips.

While your gentle kiss reassures him of your subtle endearment, your next words do the opposite. “You tell me.” All you do is push him away with your vague doubtfulness, like you’re constantly testing him and using his poor guessing skills to your own advantage. He can pull you close after any altercation he wants, but you push him away in any emotionally romantic sense.

“You’re rather mischievous and mysterious today,” Doyoung squeezes your ass and smacks it lightly, causing ripples in the water. “I liked it better when you told me everything you felt.”

Suddenly, his fingers poke at your entrance and his other hand drops in between your legs again. Your mouth opens in shock when his long fingers enter slowly and he enjoys the pleasurable contour of your reactions. “Like this, for example.” The pad of his fingers working rapid flicks against your sensitive bud. “How does this feel?” His whisper dances across your shoulder, landing a kiss at the end of his question.

Your moans echo in the lavish bathroom, bouncing off the marble walls and encouraging Doyoung to keep a steady pace. There’s no worry about how loud you may be, Doyoung charms every room before every lustful encounter. This allows you to let go, let free, let him know how he makes you feel.

He curves his fingers into you, pumping and dragging into your tightness until you’re practically screaming. He only has one thought, as his eyes trail down your intoxicated needy figure, how beautiful you are as a moaning mess under his control. Your head is thrown back, eyes are squeezed shut and opening them to see nothing but tiny yellow starlight.

Dainty kisses line your exposed neck line and his ego swells with so much pride. Doyoung has mastered every flick of his wrist to have you under his trance, spewing nonsensical words and forgetting anyone else that exists. He gives your erect nipples harsh licks and with a faint drag of teeth, the sensation pushes you to your end.

Sporadic pleasurable convulsions cause your legs to close around Doyoung’s hands, but the strength of his knee keeps them apart. “Doyoung… I’m going to free fall.”

Leave it up to you to beautifully announce your climax. He snickers, applying more pressure on your clit and a rubbing motion against your walls. “I’ll catch you.”

Moon crescents embed into his skin as you’re holding onto him with your whole life. As your scream hits every octave, the massive collection of bubbles that cover the surface of the bath fly and splatter every corner of the pristine room.

White and wet bubbles drip down from the walls, falling from the diamond chandeliers, and coating every steamy mirror. Doyoung’s eyes light up from the chaos, making sure you’re riding out your high for as long as he can provide.

Your body trembles with euphoria, falling forward into Doyoung’s chest and squeezing around his lazily pumping fingers. For a brief second, your mind is wiped and nothing in the world feels better than being in this perfect moment with the one person who’s Patronus you hoped would etch your skin.

If one possesses feelings that are practically unbearable to contain, one should confess… right? For all your life, you’ve lived by this statement. Friends do not hear the end of it and most surely, one should follow their own advice… right?

So why do you yearn for Doyoung in your gaze as he stands across the Great Hall as if he doesn’t know of your existence? As if he wasn’t kissing you in the Prefect bathroom a few days prior?

It’s not an understatement to say that you catch the attention of almost every person in the room, but the one head that refuses to turn your way… the one who’s looks you wish to steal… is the one person who looks right through you.

Feelings have become a nuisance ever since the first time you confessed to him and it was worse than landing on cobblestone after falling off your broom. The reason why you’ve buried them deeper than any chamber is that you’re positive that the prized Slytherin would rather be with another, preferably one from his own house.

While you try to remain optimistic and playful for the time being, you’re simply replaceable to him. He can barely care to acknowledge you in public when Gryffindors boast about you in their arms like winning a trophy. You’ve kept good relations with every Ravenclaw you’ve slept with. You’ve kindly rejected every romantic gesture another Hufflepuff has offered.

But if there is one thing you’ve learned about him is that he’s lived in his Slytherin circle for as long as he lives. And it will stay that way. You’re his sweet Hufflepuff that he’ll push away at no cost, then pull you back in secrecy.

Now if one feels as if they’re wasting their time, one should leave… right? Wrong. Kim Doyoung has skewed with your morality… and your feelings remain loyal to him since the day he confessed to see you again.

“Lemon-drop, I’ve been looking all over for you.” An arm slings around your shoulders and the notable red and gold tie is the first thing you see. Jung Jaehyun, Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, flashes his deep dimples at you. “Walk with me.”

He extends his palm out for you to take and your friends painfully elbow your sides to wake you from your hesitation. Taking his hand, you get up from the dining table and follow him out the Great Hall.

Doyoung sees the scene unfold before him and rolls his eyes at how Jaehyun’s dimples are all it takes to have you wandering off with him. Despite every wicked intent to follow you two, he heads out in the direction of the dormitories to fume in his room.

“It’s such a nice and sunny day today.” Jaehyun runs a hand through his luscious brown locks. You both exit into the front courtyard as other students are scattered on the lawns mingling with one another. When you peer up at the sky, the sun is barely seen past the layers of clouds.

“Jaehyun, is there something you needed to speak with me about?” His laughter roars, full of hefty song and amusement.

“Listen, lemon-drop. I like you and I have a feeling you feel the same way. I want to mark you if you’d let me.” Jaehyun smirks and just as he brings your hand up for a kiss, you gently let go. “Am I coming off too strong? We don’t have to do it today, I just wanted to see if it would show.”

“Jaehyun, you’re going to find an extravagant person one day. A person who is going to know all your favorite castle balconies to swing from and how you like to be kissed on the nose.” His ears grow a bright red and for once, his gaze drops to the ground. “I am, unfortunately, not that person for you so I must kindly reject your confession.”

As you turn on your toes, Jaehyun lightly holds your wrist to stop you. “But, you know all those things about me. Is there anything I can do to prove that we belong together?”

“I know them because I care enough to remember things you tell me, not because I loved you enough to observe these things about you. I give you my word that there is nothing you can do to prove me otherwise.” The corners of his lips dip downward and you’re running to the one person that will erase this sad rejection from your memory.

When you’re scanning the Great Hall for any sign of him, he’s not there and it leads you to his only hiding place. Doyoung loves to shut himself out from the rest of the school whenever he gets the chance. However, a lost Hufflepuff wandering outside the entrance of the Slytherin dormitories is rather an odd sight to see and you haven’t had the chance to form many connections from this house.

The sparse amount of Slytherins you know aren’t going to be passing by, unless with some stroke of luck, someone will be kind enough to open the door for you. Every person passes by you with questionable stares until a silver haired boy blinks at you with wide eyes.

“Who is it that you’re trying to see?” He asks abrasively, but softens his tone when he realizes that you mean no harm.

You bid him a small grin, “your Prefect.”

“And what for?”

“There is an urgent matter that involves him and he’s practically unreachable when he’s hiding away in his private room.” The boy narrows his eyes at you, but beckons you to follow him down to the Slytherin dungeon.

Excitedly, you hurry behind him and whisper over his shoulder, “what’s your name?”

“Nakamoto Yuta. No need to tell me yours, I’ll doubt he’d want me to know.” He spits and then, mutters the enchanted password to reveal the large green common room. “Come this way.” He leads up the boys’ dorms and walks briskly. Although you never mentioned a name, Yuta seems to already know who you’re here to see and it makes you wonder how he must know.

“Open up.” Yuta stops and knocks at the wooden door, Kim Doyoung written in a fancy penmanship on the center. “You have a guest.” He looks your way before rolling his eyes at Doyoung’s irritated tone through the other side.

“Tell them to leave.”

“He wants you to leave.” Yuta repeats, mostly to satisfy Doyoung’s nag.

“That’s fine. Thank you for bring---” The door swings open abruptly and Yuta almost loses his balance. Doyoung frantically turns his head side to side to comprehend what he is seeing. His ears felt deceived, hearing your voice through the door, he had to make sure it wasn’t you.

But you stand before him and Yuta. Here you are approaching him whenever he least expects it. “What are you doing here?”

“I came by to see you. I’ve been here plenty of times.”

“What are you doing bringing her in?” scolds Doyoung and the other boy shrugs carelessly.

“What was I supposed to do? Let her bat puppy eyes at several other Slytherins and have her telling everyone who passes her that she came here to see our Prefect? It was also getting cold out.” Yuta mumbles, but finds great entertainment at seeing how frazzled Doyoung has gotten by your presence.

“It was a bit chilly.” You admit and Doyoung groans, pulling you into his room and shutting the door on Yuta. “Thank you, Yuta.” You whisper through the crack between the door frame.

“It’s too risky for you to be searching for me around other Slytherins.” Doyoung paces the room and you notice his tie is loose and shirt is unbuttoned around his neck. “Why are you here?”

“A Gryffindor blew me off. I thought I’d come and see you with all the free time I can get.” Taking a seat at the end of his neatly made bed, your legs swing adorably and Doyoung almost doesn’t hear you.

“Jaehyun? Does he think he’s too good for you or something? That cocky dimple Gryffindor, with the draw of my wand---” Doyoung whips out his intricately customized Dragon Heartstring, and you’re on your feet to calm his temper down.

“Will you put that thing away? I’m here for you.” Your giggle warms his tight chest and puts out the fueling flame for anyone who dares to hurt you in any way. “It’s not a big deal and it’s not the first time it has happened.”

Doyoung uncomfortably clears his throat and withdraws his wand. Buttoning up his shirt, he fixes his tie back in place. To say the least, your words erupted his festering jealousy and this may have been a small tipping point.

Before you had entered, he was so frustrated with himself and you. You can just walk away with another man without a second thought, in front of him too. He remembered the soft feeling of your body and how he’s not the only one who’s needy hands ran their course over you. That may be the one pain he can never get rid of.

“I never understood why you give other men the time of your day when they just brush you off undeservingly.” He stings and you’re slightly surprised at his sudden attack. When you respond in silence, he continues.“I thought Hufflepuffs are to be loyal, so why do you sleep with other men?”

Crossing your arms, your weight is barred on your left leg and there is a shift in your overall mood. With an eyebrow raised, you sass him back, “People say Slytherins are ambitious, so why didn’t you chase after me?”

Doyoung swallows hard and blinks at you speechless. A clammy hand runs through his black strands as he tries to find any possible explanation without confessing his feelings. If he had a plan to confess, it would never be in the middle of an inquisition with you.

“I guess you didn’t think before acting on your desires.” And how he hated how correct that statement is. He doesn’t ever think whenever he’s around you. All his actions are conducted with his emotions and the feelings that overtake him.

Doyoung scoffs, rolling his eyes at your rash comment. “Aren’t you supposed to have the strongest morality among all the houses?”

“Sleeping with multiple men isn’t morally wrong. There’s nothing wrong with it…” The slight hurt from his question is difficult to ignore, but you must remember one thing if you want to protect your heart on your sleeve. This is nothing serious to be bickering over. You two aren’t anything serious, so why feel the need to squabble over nonsense? “... it would only be wrong if someone liked me and wished to commit to me.”

Your eyes meet and Doyoung blinks at you with wide eyes. His Adam’s Apple bobs as he gulps again, completely whiplashed at how the conversation has turned. “And if that’s the case and you like me, would that make you jealous, Doyoung? That’s why you’re trying to poorly attack my character?” He’s never heard such a strong taunt in your tone and he’s baffled by it, slightly aroused, but shocked.

“I don’t like you.” His voice is small and he pouts his lips at you. Doyoung crosses his arms and perhaps, his sad expression reveals a little more than it should have. Your heart softens at his ridiculously cute response, had you expected something much more angry and vindictive.

“Then this conversation is over, right? I’ll be on my way now. I have herbology.”

“We have the same class.” He grumbles, grabbing his robe from his desk chair.

You open the door to make your exit, “but since you don’t want to be seen with a Hufflepuff, I’ll go ahead first.” When you stumble out into the hallway, a recognizable face brightens at your appearance.

“Haechan! Hello, I haven’t seen you in a while.” You’re cheering and Doyoung chews the inside of his cheek. His pride is left at the door and along with all the things that hold him back from you, he doesn’t want to push you away anymore.

“My favorite Hufflepuff, are you just leaving?” Haechan walks up to open his arms, wishing to embrace you in the longest hug. However, Doyoung quickly takes you by your hand and rushes past him.

“She came to walk with me to class. Bye Haechan.” And Haechan is left standing in the middle of the hallway, confused and watching your backs as you’re both briskly walking out the common room.

Doyoung looks back at you, “you think I’m going to let you walk out of my room and have another Slytherin walk you to class? Don’t be so foolish.”

But you are foolish. Your heart beats foolishly and loudly for Kim Doyoung. And may you be foolish enough to wonder if his heart does the same for you.

And it does. Foolishly. Loudly. Lovingly.

You both wonder if this vicious cycle will ever meet its end. Doyoung pushes you away by ignoring your existing relationship, but pulls you back into his embrace as if it never happened. You push him away by running off with other men, but come back to him as if he’s the one person you’re loyal to.

But on this particular night, after mass circulation of rumors reaches the ears of the lovesick Slytherin, Doyoung is pulling you away from your huddled group of friends in the middle of the long corridor hallways. Without any greeting, any spoken words, he’s dragging you to his room right in front of everyone to see. His hand around yours like it was two days prior, but with an expression so grave on his sullen face.

The silence between you two brings no comfort, but you don’t dare say the first words. Doyoung, finally, approached you first in public and it is possibly for a greater reason. Perhaps you’ve done something horribly wrong, and the moment you two step into his room that you’ll hear a mouthful.

However when he closes the door to his room, your hand immediately drops from his embrace and he turns to face you. There is a darkness in his eyes, one that light cannot touch, and his lips are tight in a line.

There is an eerie silence that fills the dark room and the murky windows paint the area an ominous green. Doyoung focuses on your confused, yet adorable expression. “Why did you lie to me?”

The door catches your slight stumble and you’re blinking cluelessly at him. “About what?”

“Jaehyun.” He breathes the name in spite and aggressively loosens his tie. “He didn’t blow you off. You rejected him and he’s telling everyone it's because you’re in love with someone else.”

You scorn at such a ridiculous rumor and for the fact that it’s even made its way around to Doyoung. Another realization hits you. All it took for him to approach you in public is a meaningless rumor.

So in response, you laugh and it mocks him further. “This is not a laughing matter, y/n.”

“I’m sorry, but why are you so upset at that? Fine. I did lie to you, but I never told Jaehyun I was in love with anyone else.”

“Are you in love with someone else?” Doyoung says with balled fists at his side. There is a mixture of anger and sadness running through his veins and he’s so sick of feeling this way.

Your hesitation speaks for you, “It’s better that you don’t know.”

“You say this every time and it does nothing to ease my conscience.” Doyoung throws his hands in the air and stares at you with sharp eyes. “Is that why you were afraid that my emblem wouldn’t show up? Because your heart belongs to another. Yeah, I heard Jaehyun wanted to mark you too.”

Men and their constant want to prove something to themselves with their marks. Everyone has a twisted reality of markings now. There have been many others who have tried to mark you, feeling as if lust would be enough to suffice its appearance. As one's Patronus is special to their own protection, a beloved’s Patronus mark holds the same value.

You’re quite at a loss for words, “I was afraid that it wouldn’t show up, not because of myself, but because of you.”

Doyoung points at himself in disbelief. Him? He loves you more than anyone he’s ever encountered, even if you didn’t know it. “I wouldn’t have almost tried it if I wasn’t sure of myself.”

“You don’t love me, Doyoung. I don’t even know if I can even say you romantically like me.” Those words hurt the both of you and it lingers in the room for longer than you’d like.

“Do you think I fuck you meaninglessly like all those other losers you sleep with?” Doyoung steps forward, pulling you into his chest and admiring everything he’s fallen in love with. A pain spreads across his heart as he thinks of you with another person, of someone else kissing you, of someone else making you happy.

“You really don’t feel it in the way I kiss you?” He asks once more and your own stare drops to his shoulder, a bit ashamed to maintain eye contact with such pained eyes.

“And if I did? How would you explain that? That you are actually in love with me?” Your questions pelt him like rocks. As he pushes you on his bed, you pull him down with his tie.

Doyoung drinks you up like fresh water, a crisp and refreshing love that encourages him to reach heights. His hand cups your face and his feather touches reminds you of his gentleness. Your lips taste like sweet honey, dripping and coating him with a sticky sugar.

He’s happier with you and he’s the happiest kissing you. Perhaps, it’s hard for him to express with words, but he’d always hope his actions speak louder. So, his lips press against yours with a whirl of passion and every good feeling that grows in his chest.

The collar of his shirt is wrinkled in your fist and you’re holding him as if you’re afraid of him letting go. Doyoung runs a hand down your torso and lifts the end of your skirt up. A warm hand pushes your legs apart and a finger presses your clit through your cotton panties.

Your mouth opens into a moan and he takes this opportunity to shove his long tongue inside, lapping with your own. As a wet spot forms on your panties, he pulls them to the side and gathers the slick to gently rub your erect clit. His name is lost and muffled in the kiss, but you tap at his chest.

When he breaks away and halts all movement, he looks down over you with a fire burning in his dark orbs. And a confession falls from his swollen lips, “may I mark you?”

“And if it doesn’t show up?” Though, you’re wishing to the most powerful wizards that it does or else your heart would shatter into a million pieces beyond repair.

He bites his lip and every possible outcome scatters his thoughts. It’s too hard to concentrate, so he doesn’t at all. He focuses on your pretty lips and the way you look at him like he’s the only person that matters. “Then, we’ll deal with the consequences later.”

With your quick nod, Doyoung attaches his lips to your neck and harshly sucks at your skin. For the most part, it’s a pleasurable feeling and sends a shiver down your spine. So, he licks and nibbles until he can barely breathe. Your faint scent of patchouli and ginger intoxicates him, wraps him up in a fuzzy coziness that is unmatched.

Your hands unbutton his shirt and a final gentle bite seals his mark. If the love is reciprocated, the emblem would take a moment to form. Doyoung is rather hopeful and excited, as he’s never seen his Patronus before. “You look beautiful.”

“And you look dazed as if someone charmed you.” You giggle and kiss his red lips.

“You’re quite the powerful one, my Puff.” He smiles against your jaw before proceeding to your mess down below. He gives your aching clit a few licks, which cause your body to twist and turn at the sensitive sensation.

“Please, I haven’t felt you in so long.” Whining and tugging at his hair, Doyoung leaves a lasting kiss and gets up to remove his pants.

“Did you miss me?” Doyoung raises a suggestive eyebrow and cocks his head to the side in mockery, a smirk growing on his face.

You reply with a silly response that only he knows and causes him to chuckle, “unfortunately.” And he’s finding every way not to confess his endearments for you.

His dick stands tall and proud against his abdomen, giving it a few jerks as he watches you strip out of your own clothes. You turn around and sit on your knees, with a slight tilt forward and the arch in your back to accentuate your ass.

Doyoung rolls on the protection as quickly as he can. His hands lightly smack your cheeks and slowly enters your dripping hole. His hands grip your hips as he slides deeper into you, both being moaning messes at the delicious feeling.

“Have you always been this big?” You look back at him and to which he devilishly smiles at you.

“You know just the way to fuel my ego,” when his length is fully buried inside of your tight walls, he wraps an arm around your waist and a hand on your tit. “After all the times you’ve been fucked, your pussy is still as tight as ever.”

Doyoung slams hard into you, showing no mercy and causing you to jolt up. He takes every frustration, every feeling of anger, every ounce of jealousy into his thrusts. “But you take me so well, darling. I’ve never seen someone as pretty as you.”

His compliments cause your heart to soar, despite the soreness you’re beginning to feel in your pussy. He’s relentless, bottoming out until his tip is practically in your guts. “Just like that, baby. You’re the only one who fucks me this good.”

He blushes under the low light and leans forward to kiss the top of your head. “My Puff, you’re so sweet to me.” The loud squelch of your tight pussy gripping his dick fills the hot room, “and so wet.”

You’re shamelessly dripping on his green velvet blanket and Doyoung picks up his speed. Your knees give out as you fall face forward into the mattress, hands in fists from the incredible pleasure of every hit. Your ass now in his full view and every tingle of magic lights up in his veins.

Your throat is raw from screaming and moaning, Doyoung holds your hips steady to thrust into a new angle. Automatically, your body twitches as his tip hits your special spot and he’s well aware that you’re close to releasing.

And with his fast thrusts, he asks you an intimate question that is fueled by envy and rage. “If I fuck you the best, then why do you sleep with other men?”

There are no thoughts in your mind to even give him a white lie, to mask the truth of your actions. He’s fucking you into an oblivion that it’s hard to even focus on anything besides pleasure. The books on his shelf begin to tremble as you’re crying out, “I- I don’t know! Fuck, please… ! I’m tipping over.”

“Answer the question or I will stop.” He’s absolutely cynical and you have every reason to believe his threat. Doyoung lifts your limp body upright, against his torso and an arm secured around your middle as before. His hand snakes to your clit, rubbing feathering circles over the neglected bud.

Nonetheless, his single action paired with his tip grazing harshly against the particular spot causes your legs to tremble. “Do you want me to stop?” His threat rings in your ears when you still left him without an answer.

You’re so close, you’re starting to see white. So, you say what your heart tells you and the truth falls from your lips in a loud confession. “Because I wanted you to love me instead! I fucked them to forget about my love for you… fuck, I’m--”

“I’ve got you. Let go of yourself, baby.” Doyoung slows his hips when your walls squeeze around him sporadically. Every book flies out and hits the opposite wall, clattering the floor with heavy academia. However, he repeats your proclamation endlessly in his mind and his heart surges with the most intense romantic desires.

“I do love you, y/n.” He whispers, cumming into his rubber and simply holding you tightly. He lets go of every prideful arrogance in his body, tossing the lame reputation he always tried to hold onto. He didn’t need that if it meant losing you. Doyoung chuckles to himself for being an obvious cliché, announcing one’s love in the midst of a lustful act. He pulls out and gently tucks you into the covers.

Breathless, you’re finally realizing his confession. “You do? Are you sure?” Any subtle movements has your aching lower half in pain, so you settle with resting on his plush pillows and await for him to join you in bed.

All this time, from beginning to now, you’ve been oblivious to his yearning looks across the Great Hall. The intensity of his kisses had been lost upon you completely as you had convinced yourself that he was incompatibly of loving you back. Even now, as you lay in slight doubt, you’re wondering how you managed to have everything fly over your head.

When he discards his used protection and with a quick flick of his wrist, every book finds its original place on the shelf again, he enters the warm covers. Your arms wrap around his neck and you’re admiring each other’s expressions in the low light. He spots the notable twinkle in your eyes and his thumb lightly rubs your cheek.

“If the symbol of my Patronus doesn’t show, I promise to love you harder until it does.” Doyoung leaves the softest, most loving kiss on your lips. He’s more than thankful for the lack of light as he’s bashfully red all over his cheeks.

“Usually, people just give up.” Your voice is harsh, possibly from the deafening screaming of pleasure prior.

Doyoung shakes his head. He’s made too many mistakes in this relationship with you. Sleeping with another. Ignoring your existence. Being too prideful to be seen with another house. All these incidents have made him feel nothing but ugliness and distraught, and pushed you away further than how much he is able to pull you back.

He loves you. He’s in love with you. He’s fallen for you recklessly as you did off your broom the first encounter. You’re everything he’s never been and never will be, yet you don’t care. You’re by his side, despite his spitefulness and you never miss a beat. That innocent youth approach to love, oh how he wishes it never faded, and though he thought it did, it didn’t. You remain true to your character when he fights with himself internally.

“That would be a mistake and I can’t afford to keep making them.” A glossy sheen over Doyoung’s regretful eyes, but you pull him closer and you refuse to let his eyes wander.

A tired harmless sigh escapes your lips and a dreamy haze overcomes you. Besides the reminder of needing to use the bathroom flashing in your mind, there is nothing else you want to dissect. Feelings are too complex to discuss at the moment and the resolve has already passed.

Regardless of the marks appearing, you’re content with the night and for the rest of your days. Kim Doyoung, the Slytherin boy of your dreams, loves you back and the power of that alone beats any spell in those dusty old textbooks.

“Why can’t we lay here forever?” Your heavy eyelids fall slowly and your voice grows small.

Doyoung kisses your shoulder, then your neck. “That’s impossible. I can’t give you forever.” He mumbles against your skin, sending vibrations across your throat.

“You are my forever.” Doyoung halts and is left speechless as a white glowing entity catches his eye. And the absolute perfect outline of his Patronus sits underneath your jaw, brightly shining with iridescent brilliance --- he makes out the outline: a White Swan, representing his love for you. Doyoung smiles to himself and hopes for it to never fade. Perhaps, he can give you forever.

some fun critical questions to think about hehe -

why do you think y/n lied to doyoung about jaehyun confessing? why do you think yuta helped y/n enter the Slytherin dormitories? what is the meaning behind the White Swan Patronus? Why do you think y/n continued to like doyoung after all this time?

there are no right or wrong answers, just something fun to have you thinking a little more about the fic haha if you want, you can send me an ask about it :) but overall, no pressure and thank you for reading! please leave me some feedback if you can! happy new year!

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nancydfan · 3 years

Note

You and himboethanwinters’ post about Ethan’s character in RE7 is so true. I think that I read somewhere that Capcom wanted to put the player in the front seat of the game, to make it feel as though it was really happening to you and not a character in a game. And so that’s why I get why Ethan doesn’t say much in game, because they were probably afraid that too much dialogue would make it feel like it wasn’t you in this situation but a character you play as. Like you guys said he was supposed to be a blank slate. However I freaking hate that, because (to me) it never felt like I personally was in this situation. It felt like me and Ethan were in this together but Ethan was just my mostly silent buddy lol. Honestly they kind of missed the mark, and that’s the most criticism I think there was towards Ethan’s character after RE7 was that his reactions were very underwhelming. And you bring up great points where he does show emotions but in subtler ways and how he would have been in shock since this is an average man who has never been subjected to this kind of horror would definitely be a lot more just at a loss for words instead of someone like Leon or Chris who have dealt with shit like this on a regular basis and have fun one liners. That’s probably why in RE8 in a way it makes sense for him to react more because he’s been through hell before and it doesn’t leave him speechless anymore. But yeah, that was one of my biggest complaints about RE7 because they didn’t quite nail the whole “you ARE the protagonist”, and because of that Ethan’s character suffered a bit (still love him tho lol). But the whole “I’m glad” thing at the end of RE7 was so bad?? Like?? Sir Ethan just went through hell for his wife, and we KNOW just how panicked (we can literally hear it in his voice) he was throughout the game when Mia is in danger and how heartbroken he is when he thinks she died (ie sacrificing herself to save him if you go down the curing Mia path), and all of a sudden when he sees his wife is alright and well he’s just like “great! Anyways-” like that doesn’t fit his character. They really should have just done something like a chokey / emotional “Mia, I thought I’d lost you again. I’m so glad you’re alive” at least, but no instead he just sounds cool and casual which makes no sense. Anyways I think Capcom got the message tho about our criticisms with him because Ethan went from like 12 minutes of dialogue to 45 minutes in RE8 which is DEFINITELY an improvement lol. It’s one of the things I love the most about the game because Ethan feels more fleshed out and more “real” instead of a “body” so to speak for us to play the game. His reactions make so much more sense and he feels so much more alive which I love.

First off, I’m so sorry for the delay! I have a meeting in 20 minutes I’ve been prepping for all morning so I’m a bit delayed in my response cause I wanted to give it my full attention.

I am so there with you! I didn’t really think of it that way until you mentioned it but I talk out loud when I play games. And I talk to ethan the whole time. I do talk to the antagonists too as if I’m Ethan but a lot of the time I’m encouraging Ethan on like come on, buddy, you can do this. And I’m apologizing all the time like when we’re down to zero bullets and zero health and he’s limping pathetically and I’m like IM SO SORRY ETHAN. I SUCK I KNOW.

Also every time I get snippy at him for doing something stupid he reminds me I’m the one driving this train Ahahahaha

But...yeah we’re never gonna be the protagonist. I’m here defending Ethan. It’s like w the Nancy Drew games. They always said, “It’s up to you as Nancy Drew.” But I never thought I was Nancy. I was just controlling her lol

I’m glad they upped the dialogue just cause I think Ethan is such a great character with such a funny wit we finally get to see. I mean he laughed at his own jokes, I can’t love him more. But also we FEEL his rage. His devastation. His pain but determination. It makes this game so visceral to me which is why I can’t still go back in because I’d be an emotional wreck. We are there with Ethan experiencing village but we’re not Ethan. That’s how re7 should have been written - I totally agree with you!

Also lawl the ending...I can rant all day. It’s one of those moments I’m like did no one review this? Think that Mr Ethan “I have mias name tatted to my ass” Winters wouldn’t idk respond further? This man isn’t afraid to cry and Capcom was like yeah no I’m glad is fine.

I get there were two routes but he mourns Mia in the zoe route if you don’t choose her. It’s the biggest miss w Ethan’s character in re7 for sure.

#thanks for the ask my friend!!#resident evil #ethan winters #resident evil 7 #resident evil 8 #mrs joe speaks #long post

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willowistic22 · 4 years

Text

Red (Redfinch)

Despite their breakup, Albert still wanted to go see Finch perform in one of his concerts when Race asked him if he wanted to come. This is the perfect chance for them to talk things out again but words aren’t cooperating for either of them. With that, Finch decides to triy a different form of communication.

Words : 5233

Part : -

Warnings : Alcohol, cursing, cigarettes, angst in general

A/N : Woah that’s a crazy word count uhh,,,, hi i’m back with another fic. Another redfinch and for that we stan lol (well idk maybe yall are annoyed by all these redfinch fics but yknow what? i’m thriving off of it) But fr I’ll eventually get into writing other ships but for now have one more redfinch combined with another tswift songs (as you do) this time with Red. Wow we are so surprised who would have thought of redfinch being associated with the song red no we aren’t surprise :D This one specifically exists in my bandsies au. you don’t need to read that first to understand this (i think?) but it wouldn’t hurt if you checked that out as well:) Tbh i can’t decide whether i love it or hate it but at least i like it enough to post it. N ee wayysss enjoy!!

His brain is screaming about how much Albert shouldn’t be doing this. Comprising a list of cons that goes on forever. And although he thinks all of the cons his brain had written is logical, that one pro his heart wrote beside the long list was all it took for Al to say yes. All the cons will be worth suffering through if he finally gets to see Finch again. And maybe it’s for the better since he’s not doing well by distancing himself from the boy.

Unfortunately, the world isn’t black and white. Meaning that even if he did choose to follow what his heart wants, all the horrible feelings will still be there. And with every step he takes, inching closer to the entrance of the building, he’s getting even more terrified by the second. Thankfully, the line for the entrance is going pretty slow which gives time for Albert to calm down.

But it’s not helping. The line is crowded and full of fans, talking excitedly about the band’s awaiting concert inside. For some odd reason, he can only hear the conversations between fans that contain one specific name. He doesn’t hear anyone mentioning Romeo, Elmer, or Jojo’s name. Not even Crutchie, who he’s been told to be the fans’ favorite. Just the name Finch, being repeated all around him. With adoration and excitement lacing the name. The line is delaying the inevitable and the people around him makes him a bit overwhelmed.

“We can still turn around if you want. I’m sure they’ll find a way to give us a refund”

If he’s actually being honest, it was his best friend that got him to come. Race returned to their shared apartment a few weeks ago and rushed to ask Albert if he wanted to go see their friends performing tonight. Race knows about Al and Finch’s break up but it’s worth asking him first. And to his surprise, he said yes.

“No, it’s fine” Albert replied, “I’m fine”

“You’re picking your pimples right now”

“So?”

“It’s one of your nervous habits”

That piece of information really caught Al off guard. He didn’t think a tiny random fact about himself would actually corner him the way Race is doing now. Eyeing Albert through his glasses and raising his eyebrows despite his forehead being mostly covered by his beanie.

“Well… I-” Albert tried to come up with bullshit as fast as he could, “I like to do it on purpose too, alright?! My fingers just... get a little itchy!”

He slowly puts his hands down from previously reaching up to pick his face. And the line is still going slow, one step at a time. It’s not doing any favors for Al.

“Dude, it’s alright if you’re not ready to see him” Race continued, “It takes time, I get it”

“Race, I’ll be fine! How many more times do I have to tell you?” Albert argued, which finally made Race back down. And to make sure it’s no longer gonna be brought up, Al changes the subject, “By the way, where’s Specs and Mike? You said they’re watching too”

“They’re already backstage with the others for... obvious reasons” Race answered casually, catching on to Albert's intentions to change the subject. “So is Kath, by the way. We’ll meet her in there though”

To that, Albert simply nods. His jittery movements turn into rocking his body on the ball of his feet while digging his lips with his teeth. Race tries to pretend he doesn’t notice, but he does. Albert knows he does. Although he’s glad he’s not bringing it up because it might make it worse.

He’d be lucky to know that he’s not the only one panicking over this. In the dressing room, an aggravated Finch throws his phone to the cushion of the couch after sending the last text to his friend Race. It sounds unlawful for Race to be ‘secretly updating’ Finch on how Albert is actually doing because it’s obviously something Albert doesn’t want to directly tell his ex.

Finch groans, placing his elbow on his armchair to support his head. The room is spinning in his view and he wishes it all to stop. Taking deep and long breaths to stabilize his shaky limbs. A little prayer starts playing in his heart, it follows the tempo of his fast heartbeat.

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

Finch opens his eyes and looks up to meet his bandmate sitting on the couch across from him. He hadn’t even been talking for a good hour because he’s too fixated with the first text Race sent him when he and Al first started making their way to the concert.

“Yeah, he’s in line” Finch replied, looking up to the blond boy who’s holding his bass.

“How are they not being mobbed?” Another voice rang. This time it’s not coming from one of Finch’s bandmates. It’s coming from Race and Albert’s bandmate, sitting next to the shortest member of Finch’s band on the couch.

Specs only ask that because their two bands have a long connecting history and their fanbase tends to be sort of the same in a way. With Specs dating Romeo and Mike dating Jojo, Race and Albert are bound to be recognized and mobbed by at least a few fans. Especially seeing that Albert is Finch’s former lover, although the fans know that as a rumor since the two never publicly addressed it.

“I’m assuming they’re wearing a lot of shit to cover their faces” Another answered, the other VIP of the show alongside Specs, Mike. He’s twirling his drink in his hand while the other keeps Jojo cuddled close to him, “I mean, Al’s head is really fucking bright!”

With the mention of that specific name, Finch sulks back in his armchair with a groan. He covers his face with his hands, hoping it’d make the world just stop for one second. He could hear a loud clean slap echoing the room, followed by overlaps of whispered scolding. If he had to guess, it was Mike who was the one getting slapped and scolded.

“This is a disaster…” Finch exclaimed to himself, still not lifting his face up.

“It doesn’t have to be unless you make it like that” this time a feminine voice spoke up. A voice he recognized to belong to Kath.

Finch hears footsteps approaching him. He feels the motion of someone softly kneeling down in front of him. His hands were gently pried open and he was met with Kath’s friendly smile.

“It takes time, but you gotta trust the process”

It’s not necessarily the words he needed to hear right now, but it still warms his heart to hear his friend still being there for him despite the sticky situation he has gotten them into.

Everything would’ve been just fine if Finch hadn’t been so pushy and upset over Albert’s decision. He was the one that decided to put his music career on hold to go get that engineering degree, which frankly seems pretty useless. Finch was so dirty for pulling the ‘you’re being selfish’ card at him when it’s not even his band at all. Race, Specs, Mike, Ike, and even their manager Denton were very supportive about his decision to get that degree. Heck, all their friends were! But not Finch. His boyfriend at the time. He argued like he secretly knew how the others felt about Al leaving when really there aren’t any secret feelings for him to know. All his arguments came from his own feelings.

However, he knows Albert’s ‘own decision’ was secretly coated by his father’s persuasive words. The whole ‘just in case the music career doesn’t work out’ argument was basically the copy and pasted words from his father. They both know it. Despite the arguments, it still seemed that Al was determined to fully focus on college anyways. Instead of following his fellow musician friends’ college path by getting a degree in the non-lecture-hall way, he followed his father’s words and actually attended his college classes in a proper campus.

In the moment, Finch was just too focused on Albert leaving. Maybe he was the one being selfish. He had only realize now that most of his arguments were because he didn’t want Albert to go. It’s too late now, since the last time they saw each other was when Al slammed the door of their apartment one last time with all his stuff and a plane ticket to Seattle. At that point, Finch was finally tired of all the arguing and told him that if this was his plan then he’s on his own.

The tears that came after were filled with sorrow and regret. Sorrowful because he missed him. Regretful because he only realized then that there was no valid reason for Finch to lash out in the first place other than for his own needs. The feeling is still present to this moment. And it’s currently the strongest right before a show because he knows he’s gonna be in the crowd.

“Look, we’ll let ya drown out your feelings with some booze later” Crutchie finally said, “But right now we got a show”

The band was all getting up from where they were seated, bringing whatever they needed to the stage. Crutchie gets some help from Jojo to bring his Bass till he properly sits on the stool on stage. But Finch stays perfectly still, holding Kath’s hand as if his life depends on it.

“I know I should talk to ‘im, Kath” Finch finally said, slowly joining the others in standing up. Kathrine follows along, eyes still fixed to her friend, “But… I can’t. I wouldn’t know what to say to him”

“Then don’t talk” Mike suddenly inserts himself in their little conversation. He gets up and approaches the two, “Sing him the new single”

“You’re fucking insane, Mike!” Katherine instantly snapped.

“Alright, your mouth will be legally sealed shut till the end of the concert” Specs joins them only to drag Mike away. There were some protests from the boy, but it was totally shut down by everyone else in the room.

“No, wait. He’s got a point” Finch suddenly exclaimed, which quickly got the whole room to freeze in time.

He looks at his bandmates, all standing by the doorway ready to kill the concert. A half confident smile appears on his face and he says, “Let’s sing that single”

The concert is held in a bar like-venue with multiple floors, slowly being filled to the brim by excited fans. Their excitement bounces off the walls of the venue, creating an ecstatic kind of environment despite the tight space. The concert is going to start any minute now and while the fans surrounding him are shaking in excitement, Albert is shaking in a nervous fit.

“Still okay there, Al?”

Albert looked to his side, seeing his good friend Kathrine looking up to meet his eyes with concern. She had just joined the boys in the midst of the crowd after hanging out behind the stage with the band.

“What? Yeah, I’m okay” He replied, “What makes you think I’m not?”

“You’re squeezing my hand a little too tight”

Al had only realized he’s been holding Kath’s hand just now. His brain was too focused on his fears about meeting Finch again to the point that he hasn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. He gets bashful all of a sudden, cheeks going a bit warm, harshly pulling away from her grasp.

“It’s okay, you can hold my hand if you want,” Katherine said gently.

“Kath, I’m fine!” Albert said, “Why won’t you and Race believe me?”

“Because we know it’s utter bullshit”

The pair looked back towards the crowd behind them where the familiar voice originated from. There, Race struggles through a sea of people with two drinks in hand. Oddly enough, he still seems to stand the heat despite still wearing his face disguise. A white cotton mask, black-framed glasses, and a grey beanie mostly providing cover for his blond curls. While Al, seeing that the venue is pretty dark and speculations has led him to believe that the fans would be focused on the concert rather than the people attending it, had already put away his mask. However, his fears still made him wear his snapback and grey-framed glasses just in case.

Albert takes his rightful drink, and with a free hand, Race takes off his own mask and stuffs it in his pockets. He complains about the stuffiness from wearing the mask all while doing so, which made Kath laugh. It appears the Albert-scolding has been forgotten for the time being, as Kath and Race starts engaging in their own conversation, which Al doesn’t mind because he’d much like to down his beer quickly.

And then the concert finally starts.

An exciting intro starts playing as the band enters the stage. The wild crowd welcoming the band is deafening to Albert’s ear. Time freezes and everything in between fades away. All he sees is Finch, up on stage wearing a smile brighter than the lighting of the venue itself. He’s using his old dark green guitar. The same one he uses when he’s writing songs in bed or when he just feels like strumming the strings. Albert remembers the memoirs of all the guitar string scars he had earned throughout the years of knowing him. Some of them were even caused by Albert himself.

Lucky that Finch hasn’t noticed Albert has been staring at him the whole time. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of the boy since the start of the first song, shimmering under the spotlight with amazing vocals. Laughing about at his fellow bandmates’ antics on stage. Oh, that laugh. It gives him butterflies in his stomach like it was the first time hearing it.

He can feel two pairs of familiar eyes on him. But he’s too far gone to care. Albert really did make a big mistake for letting Finch go that easy. Because at the end of his previous college days, he still loves him and misses him dearly. His little Finchy. It doesn’t matter to Al anymore if Race and Katherine are eyeing him with sorrow or the whole world were to look at him weirdly for fixating his own eyes towards the beautiful boy on stage. He was his beautiful boy. Good lord, does he long to see the days when he got to call Finch his.

“Holy shit, I fucked up” Albert muttered under his breath, only Kath and Race could hear it, “I should’ve never had left”

His friends were definitely not expecting Albert to verbally exclaim his regret. They already knew from the start despite the redhead’s previous denials. But hearing him say it just makes it all more real. Even Albert himself was hit by a truck of reality just by loudly announcing it.

“Well, now you know” Katherine started, gentle voice on the same volume as his own despite the volume of their current surroundings being incredibly loud, “Go tell him that after the show”

“I can’t. I shouldn’t” Albert replied, fully turning away from the stage to properly look at his friends. A glint of sorrow and desperation flashes before his face, “I might make things worse!”

“Well, you’ll never know till you try” Race said, sounding a little hesitant at the start. He offered a warm smile at his friend and a hand on his shoulder, since there isn’t much he could do in the moment.

With a heavy sigh, Albert turns back towards the stage only to witness the biggest surprise of his life. Finch looked back. Straight into Albert’s eyes, it pierced right through to get his heart thumping loudly in his ears. He just realized the song the band was previously playing had ended and they were waiting for the fans to quiet down. While Romeo playfully over-dramatize his thank you’s to the crowd and gets scolded by Elmer and Crutchie, Finch was continuously staring at Albert. The hands that were previously used to play with his guitar hang idly because his center of attention wasn’t at his instrument right now.

It might just be some form of hallucination Al retained from the high, but Finch seemed to be smiling at him a little. Just a little curve at the end of his lips while he’s still staring back.

Albert doesn’t know how to interpret this other than to just stare back. Deep down, his heart is flipping in all kinds of ways and his thought process is no longer comprehensible. He’s trying to read the other boy’s emotions but it’s too neutral to tell. Other than the fact that he’s smiling a little at him but that still doesn’t give him a proper answer.

Eventually Finch becomes the first one to look away, seeing that the audience had settled down for the band. Albert’s eyes were still glued to Finch, retaining his focus back to the concert. He opens his mouth for a moment to say something into his microphone, although he unexpectedly stopped. The flow of words seemed to cut short. He saved himself by pulling himself away from the microphone up front and towards the rest of his bandmates. Judging from the body language, they seem to be whispering.

“What’s happening?” Albert whispered, more to himself rather than to his friends.

“I’m not sure…” Race replied, taking a step closer to where Al is standing.

The band kept the discussion short and quickly got back to their places. Finch seems to hesitate the second time he opens his mouth to speak. But this time, he gets the words out.

“Uhh… sorry ‘bout that. I uhh… I just got the urge to go a bit out of our fixed setlist and uhh… hope you guys don’t mind” Finch explained with a little giggle at the end. The crowd couldn’t care less and cheered on. Finch smile widens at the agreement, “We thought we’d give ya an early access to our newest single that hasn’t been released yet”

A euphoric feeling passed through the crowd as the cheering got louder. It baffled Finch so much that he laughed into his mic.

“Oh my god, they’re actually doing it” Katherine commented under her breath.

But Al’s ears were sharp enough to catch it. He snaps his head around to face the girl behind him, “Do what?”

Katherine was rendered speechless to that question, despite obviously knowing what’s going on. Albert turns to Race but he has no idea. He finally turns back to the stage where Finch’s gaze was already waiting to be returned by Al himself.

Without breaking the gaze, Finch speaks into the mic with a little smile, “It’s called ‘Red’”

It was Albert’s turn to be speechless. He had no knowledge of a new single since he’s mostly been staying away from his ex’s social media for the sole purpose of moving on, which he had failed miserably. And none of his friends had told him anything about a single that’s title was a secret language only Finch and Albert share, littered with all sorts of vintage romance.

“Holy shit…” Race exclaimed, “...I had no idea they were gonna play this song”

The opening of the song starts with Jojo lightly plucking a few strings of his acoustic guitar. The crowd goes wild once again, energy bouncing off one wall to the other.

“Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly”

Crutchie sang the first line smoothly. At this point the other’s had joined in with their instrument. Finch fully ignoring the crowd and focused on looking at Al. Those blue eyes are trying to send a message to Albert and it’s being coded with the song they’re currently playing.

The song had carried on till it reached the chorus. All the instruments peaked at that moment and collaborated with each other to create a very euphoric sound. The crowd jumps along to the beat of the song along with a loud cheering, obviously enjoying the tune they have yet to listen to. Some were holding up cameras to capture this moment, most likely to later share it with the fans that didn’t get the chance to witness it live.

At this point, Finch had turned his face away from Al. There was a troubling look in his expression but it was quickly covered by closing his eyes as if he’s trying to concentrate on singing the chorus with the others. But Al is no fool. He knows that look on Finch’s face is when he’s trying to avoid something, and that something is him.

“Losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

But loving him was red”

The words moved something in Al. It was written in a way Albert recognized it to be Finch’s writing style. Every single part of the song. From the melody, the chord progression, even the lyrics. Especially the lyrics.

“Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword

And realizing there's no right answer

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out

That love could be that strong”

As Finch harmonized that line with Jojo, he stole a little sad side glance at Albert. The song returns to the chorus once again, Finch gets dragged with the beat and lightly moves his body along.

Albert gets captivated along with the music. He can feel the corner of his lips slightly rising up, which is pretty ironic seeing that Finch is singing a breakup song about them. Maybe because he’s relieved to hear Finch sing about how he’s not fully over him. Or maybe it’s because he gets to see Finch embracing the break up, which could potentially mean that he’s okay with it. But whatever it is, he’s happy seeing Finch like this. Or just seeing him in general.

“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head”

The chord progression’s pattern slightly changed. Finch sings his line into the microphone, closing his eyes as if to soak up all the intoxicating energy he gets from the crowd. Of people flailing their hands into the sky and a loud chorus of undecipherable shouting. But at the last line, he steals a proper glance back at Albert.

“In burning red”

The lyrics really says it all. There’s no more hidden message that Albert needs to decipher, as it's being presented right in front of him.

Finch takes over the next part of the song, shredding his guitar which makes the crowd go wild. At the moment, it looks like he’s feeling himself. Moving along with the motion of his fingers that creates each note.

“Oh, losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

'Cause loving him was red”

The song is supposed to be a punch to Albert’s guts, and yet he finds himself laughing at it. He catches a glimpse of Finch’s eyes, sneaking its way to look back at Albert every so often. And this time, he wears a smile while jumping along to the song. And it made Al smile back.

“His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street”

As the song ended, the fans went wild. The look on Finch’s face seems satisfied at the success of the single they have yet been released to the world, shining at the sight of a hype crowd. He steals one last glance at Albert with a little smile on his face. Albert would dare to say he’s being a bit shy. To that, Albert smiles back with a disbelief laugh escaping his lips before Finch pulls his gaze away from the other boy.

After playing a few more songs, the concert ended. There was only one thing in Albert’s mind, which was talking to Finch. Race and Albert quickly put their disguise back on before the crowd had realized who they were as they exited the venue. The three stay behind as the venue gets emptied, Race and Katherine making quick work with their fingers on their phones to contact their friends backstage.

Jojo was the first to respond to either of them. He said that Finch is smoking behind the venue alone. One could only assume that he’s not in his best state after spontaneously choosing to sing that single. But Jojo assured them that he’s still good to talk to. Crutchie then responded, saying that Specs and Mike can pick them up to get them into the backstage.

It didn’t take them long, but Albert wasn’t keen on seeing the others right now. After being pointed towards the back door, Albert was already off. Adrenaline coursing through his veins as he makes quick steps towards it.

He gently opens the door, to avoid surprising the boy in case he was nearby. Albert steps out to a parking lot, open-spaced with another parking lot above it as its roof. At a first glance it was completely empty, only a few lights turned on to keep the area lit. His eyes gandered even further and spotted the boy he was looking for, back facing Al and his body leaning on metal bars as he enjoyed the nightlife of the city.

Albert took a deep breath to calm his adrenaline, slowing down his walking pace. The area is eerily quiet. Only a few things that can be heard: his footsteps, his thumping heart, and the sounds coming from the streets three stories below them. With every step closer, he slowly unraveled his makeshift disguise. Shoving his mask and glasses in the pockets of his jeans but left the snapback on.

“‘Loving him was red’” Albert said to catch Finch’s attention, “Did you mean it to be that obvious?”

Finch didn’t fully turn his head around, only halfway so Al can see the little grin of amusement forming on his face. A little chuckle escaped his lips, causing his chest to pulse along before he continued, “Not really. But it has a nice ring to it”

Albert takes a few steps closer towards the metal bars, leaning his body on it like what Finch is doing. Now he can clearly see the half burnt cigarette on Finch’s hand. Al tries to make eye contact with him, but Finch is purposely turning his head the other way and giving Albert his head full of blond curls.

“You came back” Finch suddenly said, voice hushed and low.

“Of course I came back” Albert replied, “You didn’t think I’d fully leave like that, did’ja?”

“Well, no. It’s just that you seemed so hellbent on going to college”

Albert slowly nods at that, moving his gaze towards the streets below like the other boy. They sit in the silence for a few minutes. Hearing different vehicles pass by the street below them and honking from the distance.

“Finch, I’m so sorry I left ya like that” Albert suddenly started, fully turning his face towards him. He couldn’t find a way to word it and so he resorted to just telling him the truth. Finch stays quiet to let him continue, “I was an idiot to let ya go that easily and all because I was selfish”

“You weren’t actually being selfish” Finch said, smiling a little at his words, “You did it because you wanted to. And it wasn’t hurting anyone anyways”

“It did. It hurt you”

Finch turns his head towards Albert. Now their eyes are looking into each other closer than before. The closest they’ve ever been since their breakup. A mixture of unsaid emotions made the gaze feel so intimate and it terrifies Al a bit.

“I hurt myself trying to get you to stay” Finch said softly. His next words got stuck in his throat. He gives his brain a few seconds to focus with a sigh out of his mouth and dragging his gaze away from Al, “I knew you never wanted to get that engineering degree in the first place which is another reason I didn’t want you to go. But at the end of the day, it was your decision to make and not mine. I lashed out on you and said you were selfish but… I was the one that was being selfish”

Finch turns his eyes back towards Al, his face looks more sorrowful than before, “I’m sorry”

A small smile formed on Al’s face, tilting his head to the side by a few inches, “It ain’t your fault for knowing me more than I know myself”

They leave the conversation at that for the time being. Letting the streets below fill the void of their silence. Both boys focusing their gaze towards the view they got from this height they’re on again. Finch and Albert left speechless at each other’s words.

Albert’s hands unconsciously reach up to his forehead, itching to pick a pimple like earlier. His next words almost got stuck in his throat but he was able to pull through just enough to get to his point, “Well, at the end of the day we uhh… we both fucked up. Fucked our relationship, that’s for sure-”

“Stop picking on your pimples, Al” Finch casually said. The surprise look on Al’s face got Finch to side eye him with a giggle.

Al pulled his fingers away, stuttering in his movements but still continued on his words with more confidence, “What I’m trying to say is… I want to try again as long as you’re willing to”

There was a good few seconds of silence that Finch used to just stare at him. Albert could only wonder what he’s thinking about inside that head, “So we just… what? Forget the breakup ever happened? Move back in together? You know I can’t just do that, right?”

“That’s not what I mean. We don’t need to rush things. I know you can’t do that” Albert said, “Just… let me start by making it up to you? Whatever you want. Just name it”

Finch didn’t respond instantly, letting the silence between them linger for a few more minutes. But it’s deeply agonizing to Albert’s ears. A blank space of two eyes locked in a gaze, and one is obviously dying to get out of it.

“Please, say something” Albert begged. Hands suddenly reaching back up to his face to pick on his pimples again.

With a free hand, Finch reaches towards Al’s hand on his face. He pulls it down to the bars, holding it in place to make sure it doesn’t repeat its mistakes again. The grip was firm, but warm and calming to Albert’s soul. It made him go blank for a good few seconds from being so touch deprived of Finch’s soft hands. He retains his sense of reality when their eyes finally meet again.

With a little smile forming on Finch’s face, he finally answers, “I’d like that very much”

#random writing #newsies #redfinch #redfinch newsies #albert dasilva #albert newsies #finch cortez #finch newsies #tw cursing #tw alcohol #tw cigarettes #tw angst #validate me pls and thanku:)#unless you don't ship redfinch #which is understandable

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calpalsworld · 3 years

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Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

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diggersofgraves · 5 years

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Man, I love Stranger Things, but im not really in the fandom, so idk what going on with this specific topic, but it's just something that I noticed and am connecting to my own experiences.

So Will's sexuality????

Idk if they did this on purpose or not, but he is at the very LEAST coded as gay (but like I said, this is also heavily based on my own experiences as a lesbian lol)

First, that whole "I'm never going to fall in love" conversation he had with Joyce??? I had that ALL the time with my family. They would tease me, saying "oh you'll understand when you meet the right boy" but I could not, for the life of me, see myself falling in love with a boy. Ever. So I told them. I'm never going to get married. I'm never going to all in love. It wasnt a "boys are gross" thing. It was me not feeling like I could fall in love with a boy, before knowing that girls were even an OPTION. As soon as i realized girls were an option???? I was out there planning my wedding in my head and shit.

Second, his attitude toward all his friends dating and shit. From what I know, a lot of LGBTQ+ people miss out on that teenager experience of dating and being silly and having a basically normal teenage experience. I can only imagine this is tenfold in the 80s. When my friends started dating boys, I was jealous, I guess??? That they got to grow up before I did. Because they forgot about me and payed more attention to their boyfriends. I wished it was like the old days. When we would go out to the mall or just hang out after school and watch movies. That's all i desperately wanted to do. It always felt like they were going everywhere together. I couldnt hang out with them one-on-one because they always wanted to bring their boyfriend. And I just wanted a day with no boys. Where we could go out and have fun again. I guess I was sad that my friends were becoming more distant, but I was also jealous that they got to experience this with no backlash from society. I think that attitude that Will holds toward his friends dating is very similar to that. And i dont think people have to know they're gay to feel that way. Theres also the frustration of not knowing why your friends are prioritizing these people over you while theyve known you longer, and the frustration of not being able to feel the same way as them, thus feeling estranged over the entire situation.

Lastly, I've seen people talk about the "Its not my fault you don't like girls." I agree with pretty much all that I've seen about that line, about how Mike doesnt seem to mean "yet" or anything. Will looks pretty betrayed. I took his reaction more as if it's something that everyone has noticed, but he didn't expect anyone to point out. Y'all, I feel this on the DAILY when my brother points out something to my mom that even slightly implies that i dont like boys. A feeling of panic-how did they know?- and a feeling of betrayal- if they figured it out, why would they say it out loud?. You just expect these people to keep quiet and if no one says anything, it's fine. But once confronted with it, it's a bit more real, no? Its just a feeling of panic and betrayal. I really felt that scene.

I'm not really good at categorizing my feelings nor am I good at any sort of analytical stuff, but these things felt so on the nose about my own experiences, I couldn't help but point it out. Like I said, all these things are based very heavily on my own experiences and I felt like Will's were very relatable to mine. Idk if this was on purpose on behalf of the writers or it was just a coincidence, but that doesnt change the fact that i,,,,, feel Will's character and experience on a personal level. And I wanted to talk and reflect on it. So there it is.

(And while we're on a similar subject, Robin makes me fucking CRY because her experience of liking a girl is also VERY relatable and I love her. So much. Y'all dont even know. Fuck.)

#stranger things #st #stranger things spoilers #st spoilers #will byers #idk what robins last name is #bc i dont pay attention #but also they probably didnt say it lol #also like i said #i have no idea what the general strangers things fandoms' stance is on this subject #so oops if this is something they dont like lmao #also sorry if this is very messy #as stated before i uhm #have a hard time categorizing my feelings

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kurainburdened · 6 years

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m a y a p o l l o

Who said “I love you” first

Maya did. In her teens she was very guarded, not getting too deep and keeping everything light. But as she got older kind of became much more…open with her affections? Her saying I love you was something very natural and matter of fact. Something said without much weight. She doesnt want him to feel weighed down by it, doesnt want him to feel like her saying this is a demand. She wants him to know that she cares deeply about him but also to feel like it’s ok. A phrase as light and as matter of fact as a greeting.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

THIS IS SO MAYA. She takes a lot of selfies and a lot of pictures. Maya has to leave a lot, has to take long trips and long periods where she cant see him. So while a lot of the pictures she takes are for the pretense of teasing him for the most part she takes them to remember him by while shes out and about. It’s probably a picture of Polly taken by surprise. A picture of them making a cake for someones birthday and started a flour fight or something like that. A small thing to make her smile while shes out and about treking in some freezing mountainside

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

A lot of the time there are days where one has to wake up earlier than the other and cant be there for the other when they wake up. So to make up for that silly messages are left in the bathroom mirror! Things from silly pictures, to dumb memes, bad puns. Maya likes to try one upping the other, but one time Apollo left something funny enough to make make maya double over then trip and bump her arm. There’s a large bruise and she ends up being like. YOOOO ok so heres what happened. An alien space ship came and beamed me up saying I was the chosen one to end this giant war that-

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

Apollo! I feel like he’s the type to see something small that would make her smile. Because as much as Maya goes off about how in a relationship it’s all about money and looks she’s really just joking. Or half joking at least lol. Honestly, he’d probably see a bottle of slime in the dollar aisle while he’s out and be like. ‘maya would get a kick out of this’ and bring it back just to see her eyes go big and that giant grin before inevitably bringing him into a big hug and exclaiming how he’s the best boyfriend in the whole world before going to entertain herself for a surprising amount of time.

Who initiated the first kiss

You know. You know. I really…. I don’t know. That’s such a huge step for both of them . It depends on what she deems is for their relationship. I feel like…I feel like for Apollo, she’d…GOODNESS DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR THIS. IM EARLY INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP SO THIS IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE AS I LEARN MORE ABOUT THEM AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP BUT. She’d be more inclined to wait, see how he feels, and let him be more comfortable to make that first move. IDK. She’d be more guiding him towards being comfy enough for him to do that and when hes good and ready let him make that first move. Though I can easily imagine him leaning in for a kiss and maya moving in like shes going to and as soon as he closes his eyes maya pulling back and watching him as he holds his breath getting all anxious and when that kiss doesnt come he may or may not pout and then she’ll kiss him. IDK IVE NEVER DATED WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT ROMANCE/

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

I feel like it’s Maya? Or rather I know she’d do something like that in the vein of ‘he works so hard, I at least want him to wake up to something nice and relaxing and happy’. Mornings like that are nice and relaxing, he wakes up to her, foreheads pressed together with a smile and shes like ‘good morning apollo!’ As soon as hes awake she finds herself going off about something fun. Something she wants to show him on tv. A show that made her cry. Share stories about what happened in the mountains. It’s mundane but I feel like Maya loves the mundane small things. When so much is chaos it’s the simple that you take refuge in, ya know?

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

maya is the only one of the two who would be so bold and can confirm that she WILL DEFINITELY SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Honestly as a bit of a joke, something to take him off guard so she can poke fun at him. Saying stuff like that to kind of tease him is fun for her. Though i think, if it’s deep into their relationship, he might take her off guard and be like sure. And maybe some stuff would follow man. She won’t shy away from it either.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Definitely can go either way and honestly I kind of like that. Maya wants to take care of Apollo she knows hes always looking out for others and she wants someone to look out for him too, kind of thing. AT the same time, Maya is also the person whos looking out for others, in her own way that is. She’s not exactly COMPLETELY SELFLESS but it’s kind of like. Whens shes selfish SHES REALLY SELFISH but when shes selfless shes REALLY selfless, if that makes sense. Anyway, Apollo going out of his way to take care of her is important. Goodness if it’s Apollo I could see him taking that long train ride up there to drop off some lunch for her cause he KNOWS if she’s meditating she won’t be taking care of herself. Sometimes hes like oK ENOUGH OF THAT ITS LATE YOU GOTTA EAT. other times he can tell shes really in it and needs the concentration so he just leaves it for her, for when she snaos out of it. She jsut opens her eyes and sees the bag of burgers and smiles. When she ends up going back down he’s greeted by a giant hug.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

Polly for sure! Though Maya takes it in stride and goes out of her way to get him out of this mindset that OOH WHAT IF IT GOES BAD. She probs is acting like a huge goof, doing things to throw him off to stop him from worrying and just over all like just really casual. She tries to keep it in the same vein of when theyre normally together. She just for the most part is keeping him having fun and getting him out of his anxiety.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

THAT WOULD SO BE POLLY. poor guy gets drunk and affectionate and loud(tm) Maya gets drunk with him and the two are a lovefest mess. Which both of them get more than a little embaressed over the next day I’d imagine. though seeing as im new to getting drunk myself its hard to imagine.

#justicedefended

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survivormetaverse · 3 years

Text

Episode 10 - "I've been channeling Raffy's chaos and messy style" ~Amy

Colin survived omg omg. I went on call with him after tribal council and I smoothed things over with us. So I'm like the only person he's not hating right now. Also I literally told Colin everything. I told him exactly what happened which is so awkward if anyone finds out I tolf him that they all backstabbed him. Also Elle cannot be trusted!! Why would she do this? She's probably working with Colin and at this point I'm ok with voting off Elle. She really backstabbed the entire plan. Also Elle's idol is gone so it would be easy. BUT, we need to rid of the advantages that remain. There's not any time to get off people I don't trust. We need to expose every last idol we can. Also I know Brayden has an idol and I'm working with him but I might have to backstab that guy because if he makes it to final tribal council with an idol that will be big on his resume. Honestly Brayden will be seen as the most popular social player so that will look really good compared to me. So I might have to backstab my best friend before the time runs out.

Wtf was that tribal. Literally besides Colin, the only person left out of the vote and lied to by my own partner. Just when i thought things were looking up for me in this game, the rug gets pulled from underneath me again. I literally dont feel like i can trust any of them but for the sake of playing nice, I have to pretend that everything is fine and be a fake bitch for a day or two. Ugh 😑

I understand Colin is probably really upset and hurt because he felt personally close with me, but I don’t understand why my reasons for not saving him weren’t valid. When he tried to save Dennis, it rubbed HIMYM the wrong way and I didn’t want to betray 5 people for 1 person the same way he did that because it’s what gave everyone distrust. He said he didn’t tell anyone about HIMYM until after he heard his name, but that’s a lie as Josh and Jay both heard of it by round 8. I said that and then he said “well that’s still one person”. It’s more than one and even then, one person is one person. You gave us a reason to distrust you and that’s why you were targeted. I never told anyone about his SWP because I didn’t want to give him a reason to tell others I’m not trustworthy or for him to target me with. Ultimately, of course I knew Jay wasn’t going to send me out, but there was a real concern that Babs had an idol and that between me and Anastasia, I would go. So yeah, my concerns were indeed valid as it could’ve gone to a point where I go. I really want immunity this round. So bad. But if it’s not me I’ll be ok with my allies having it. But please I want immunity!!!

[this was earlier, but put it wherever✨] Sooooo so much drama these days, I used to be in an alliance with Jay, Brayden, and Anastasia but they're all in a megasix alliance except Jay is relatively new bc they swapped him out for Colin recently, Jay is completely in Jodi's pocket and RIP honestly bc I was hope our little Corn Tribe (we're both from Ohio lol) would make it far, Colin and I are firmly allies now and we have an alliance with Amy (who is currently Colin's no. 1 ally and I respect that she risked it all for him lol understandable) and are goin to make another one with Josh. Josh and I are allies and I trust him a lot partially bc ppl lied to him almost as much as ppl lied to me and Colin and being at the bottom is a good way to know your allies are true, they have little to gain 😂 oh and Brayden and Anastasia and I are still "allies" and idk Jay hasn't talked to me yet sooooo let's see what happens there!

I accidentally said that Josh was on the bottom out loud when I was answering him for the question who doesnt deserve to be here. Omg I literally ruined our relationship. I am sooo stupid. I literally told him i was sorry and he said K. Ok but he is on the bottom. Obviously he doesn't need me as an ally and that whole side has a plan. Omg Im ready to be blindsided lol. But also maybe dont vote out me. Josh really isnt that forgiving is he? That is crazy to me. I wouldve pretended to forgive at least. Now I feel even more awful because he never said he forgave me. Pain. Anyways I screwed up and now I'm just praying Josh doesn't gun after me now. But I did tell Josh the whole truth and apologized genuinly about the situation. Oh god I hope he doesnt hate me. I dont even want him as a jury vote I just cant take anyone hating me or disliking me. It makes me want to throw up. But I deserve to feel this way since I emberassed him infront of everyone i am so so stupid. Anyways time to plan who to get out. OMG JOSH JUST TEXTWD ME "It's fine Im on the bottom. My feelings dont matter" WHAAATTT OF COURSE HIS FEELINGS MATTWR I CANT BELOEBE IHURT HIS ACTUAL FEELINFA I AM SO STUPID WTF I AM AWFUL I WILL GO APOLOGIZE MORW NOW GOODBYE

it appears either jodi or jared are going tonight, and although they’re my allies, i selfishly don’t care. I’ll still be in the game, so that’s nice i suppose. I love jodi, but she’s paranoid and it’s a whole deal trying to work with her, if she got voted out i could maybe get some sleep every once in awhile. I love her to death, but frankly whatever happens tonight as long as it ain’t me I don’t really care. Hell, even if it is me, then whatever lol, I can get caught up on sleep then. Frankly this is where the game gets ugly, and i’m cool with staying out of the drama. it still sucks that josh hates me though, i genuinely like him, and i feel like he doesn’t want to be my friend beyond the game anymore. To me, i’m going to keep doing me. I’m gonna chill, i’m gonna relax, and i’ll play when i feel like it. My mental health is important, so even if i’m not playing as hard as others, it’s just a game. If i lose, i will not lose any sleep over it.

DAMN last tribal really killed the vibes in the game. no one wants to talk. everyone is scared of stuff getting leaked or turning on people. BUT ON THE FLIP side that means everyone is flipping on everyone SOMEHOW amy managed to escape unscathed. They have NO idea she's in with us and with them. She's telling us everything. it's actually insane to watch her do it. Truly international superspy behavior. We have our numbers and they have theirs. They made another majority alliance except they replaced me with Jay. Whatever, expected. its fine. I truly did not talk much to people before the challenge, I just laid back and let Amy gather information for us. The immunity challenge was absolutely crazy good for us. Elle winning immunity is perfect, and the fact they GAVE AMY the other immunity is also amazing, a testament to how much they do trust her. THEN THIS IS WHERE THINGS STARTED GETTING EXCITING so I still have my handy chaos idol. I was thinking about numbers and I came to the realization that we could get Jodi cirie'd out this tribal. Their side is splitting votes on Josh and I, and there's four of us. If we vote the other 4 people in that alliance and then play the chaos idol, it leaves Jodi the only one without a vote and she's automatically out. It was a huge risk but I brought this plan to Josh, Amy, and Elle. because of the touchy subjects it made me truly feel that I could trust my allies right now. I was voted "Who is your closest ally" and I'm almost certain it was those three that put me down. That means I can trust them with this plan. (I hope). Elle, however, brought up the very good point that Jodi might be idoled, it's very obvious for us to go after her. SO we also decided that we should leave no votes on Brayden and then theres a revote between the two. SO TLDR THE PLAN RN: play chaos idol and coordinate votes so there's a revote between Jodi and Brayden. Also we're telling everyone else our plan is to vote Jared, that way it's not too obvious we have shit up our sleeve. there is the prospect of them splitting the vote 3-3 and then we don't even need to use the chaos idol, we just have the numbers. The other option is they put all 6 votes on one person and then we do have to play it. Thats why its so good we have Amy as our inside source telling us everything that's going on with them. so yeah right now we're still playing it by ear. not a lot of people are online and available to we're just waiting to get it all sorted out. Updates soon! uwu

Hahahahaha omfg so after we yeeted out of last tribal and then elle used their idol apparently anastasia and jodi changed their vote to Babs so they still went home and we kept Colin's idol. We jumped back on the tribe call and it was only host Jay and Raffy left lol like we were ready for a tribe fight! But I think it turned out better because I am still getting all the info in the group. Touchy subjects was interesting and almost exposed us bc colin and jodi tied for closest allies lol which I'm sure it was like 3-3-whatever. But she said I'm the group maybe it was like 2-2-1s. So that's a relief. However. Everyone is being really quiet with me and our brayden - jodi - me alliance is silent. I'm concerned they think it is me who's leaking but from what I can tell jodi (and thus anastasia, brayden,jay, and jared automatically) believe it was elle who leaked the plan to vote colin. So idk how but I'm in the clear. I'm just waiting to be found out bc I'd be an easy vote out. BUT I think they believe I'm still with new himym because brayden chose to give me immunity in touchy subjects!! And elle got first out!! So we are both safe and the current plan for Jodi's group is to tell Colin josh and elle they are splitting but they will put all votes on josh so that colin flushes his idol. Except lol it's a chaos idol. And if that's the case colin wants me to vote him ☠️ but it actually keeps him safe so I'll do it. I would just hate for the chaos idol to be fake. I think I know where all remaining advantages are except the idol I think Jared has lol. So for the break down brayden has an idol he believes is real but is fake and he is not telling anyone in the group or jodi or me so as much as I like brayden I can't wait to see him play it and it's fake. Then Colin has Dennis's chaos idol and one more regular idol. I have the merge idol and a steal a vote. That leaves only jared's idol that we might be able to flush this go if they actually believe jared is the target from Josh elle colin. But if they don't we can leave votes off jared and jodi and we can vote out the unplayed idol or vote jodi out and her minions have to regroup. My biggest concern has been josh bc he really seems to not like me ☠️ and here I am risking it all to keep colin, elle, and josh in the game lol. So now colin elle and I have a three. Colin filled them in and they trust me. And we waited until josh calmed down bc he was really mad that I cut his rope in the challenge. Unfortunately I knew that he wasn't winning bc he's at the bottom, none of them were giving him immunity, and I needed to keep up the facade that I was with them 100% so I was guessing like everyone else on the most allies even though I knew it would be colin lol. So now colin has talked to Josh and josh knows about the chaos idol so I just hope he's 100% with us. Because if we play this right it's 4-4. And then I'm gonna have to reveal to them I have a steal a vote lol they might be upset I didn't tell them before but I've never said I didn't have anything (except to jodi whoops). Also now jodi is thinking worst case like wants me to say I'll vote out anastasia if it's a revote and also at 6. I was like "oh I'm a revote? I got you" as in if vote you out sorry girl. Listen I know I'm not winning and I know I'm not getting to the end because it would be stupid to take me at this point. I'm literally a double agent secret spy lol. However the entire jury WILL despise me but all I could hope is they respect the moves I made. But it seems like a lot of people in this game take things very personal so I really think it would be a completely bitter jury against me not that I'm getting there. I kind of don't want to use my steal a vote at 8 and hope they still think I'm with new himym because then we could simply idol where their vote is and I keep steal a vote for 6 and my idol for 5 and I'm golden lol 😂. And here I was gonna hard quit the game lol. I mean tbh they could just vote me here... Wait lol I'm immune jk thanks. Literally i think Babs is indifferent and dennis did like me but his vote would still go to colin. But if I was in f3 IMAGINE the story of have to tell lol and convince them all. It's the struggle of playing more behind the scenes but I really think someone is going to leave the info. I hope josh stays quiet until 7 when we should have numbers. Anyway all of this to say I wanted to play this game doing the absolute minimum and I'm spending hours and hours a day like copy pasting from the group to colin 😂 and now to our group. The problem is colin really believed jared when he said he'd flip and I was like colin no that's EXACTLY what he detailed he'd do in the group. And then Colin and josh were like wait anastasia and brayden may consider flipping and here I was like no y'all they are telling me / us they're saying that. Unless it's like a double play they are lying to you and that's their plan. All I can do is copy paste their exact messages and hope they believe me. I really do think they trust me bc I'm risking my life here. I just need to talk to Josh and explain the situation and I am with him not against him! Honestly this is such a great cast and they are playing very well. It'll be fun to see how it all works out. I don't think I'll be at the end but I would love to see underdogs take it. I would actually love josh elle and Colin at the end and I'd vote colin to win lol he put in work! I'd also vote anastasia to win because she has laid low so well with still having pull in the game. Idk it's a fun one that I think will blow up on me soon but I've been channeling Raffy's chaos and messy style bc I'm just here to have fun not to win actually lol. I am writing this while on a flight so I'll have updates later. Oh right our 4 group plan is to use the chaos idol and throw votes around so that like 2 or 3 people don't have votes then they are the only ones vulnerable in the revote and everyone who got votes is safe. Then we can vote either jared or jodi like that's the thing if jodi doesn't play an idol here I don't think she has one or no one is giving her one. I think my only chance to make it farther is to let the 4 group know I'm with them 100% but still keep my idol for myself hopefully until 6 or 5 but lol idk about that. Like I can see them wanting to take me out then. Okay that's all my thoughts right now.

https://youtu.be/ji7K8HkLmRY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Ru1J0iXYA&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/rVRVR2zzkPc

https://youtu.be/PAjCL7-GWV

[😬 Not me completely forgetting to send this oops here i'll add a fun quote at the beginning] Jodi is Regina George, we are the schoolbus✨ Sooooooo Colin has a chaos idol how fun for him and tbh im kinda tired so here's the voting plan and the rest you can just kinda glean: Amy - Josh Elle - Colin Josh - Anastasia Colin - Jay ~~~

Edgic:

Power Ranking:

Amy: She has managed to escape suspicion from last round. Nobody believes her to be the rat leaking things to Colin. She is in the best position in this game right now being on all sides and having every single option open to her.

Colin: King of idols. King of chaos. He has it all locked down. Has capitalized on those the Jodi side has burned. Will continue to capitalize on it. The power struglle ends here.

Elle: Mostly just floating behind Colin’s shield which is what she should be doing atm.

Josh: If he stays out of people’s periphery, he can make it far. Might be dragged to end, but could make a great pitch for himself.

Jay: Ruined his position with multiple people last round. Is sort of in the middle? Sort of not? He is definitely aligned with Anastasia and Brayden who are protecting him.

Brayden: If he betrays Jodi, he will shoot up in this ranking. Needs to become a free agent instead of being locked into an alliance.

Anastasia: If she betrays Jodi, she will shoot up in this ranking. Needs to step away from Brayden and Jay who are clouding her good judgment. She is being iced from the other side.

Jared: I don’t know why he is going to use his idol on Jodi? His loyalty to her will be his downfall.

Jodi: Seems to have accepted being voted out this round. Seems to have backed herself into a corner based on her logic. Too worried about advantages to see the right path.

#episode #episodes

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1800-seungshine · 7 years

Text

responsible.

member: bae jinyoung genre(s): high school!au, hoobae!jinyoung, fluff summary: all the matters regarding bae jinyoung’s grades is now placed in your hand but it seems like it’s not just his grades that you’re going to take responsibility for. (requested - bullet point format) word count: 2.3k

note: a requested scenario by an anon! i’m so sorry if it’s really lengthy hahah but i really really hope you like it ;; thank you for requesting, once again it means a lot! as well as that, many thanks for the likes, follows and reblogs - words can’t say how much i truly appreciate it, thank you thank you ; ~ ; < 3

all a’s with a rank that never goes below than top five

you wouldn’t be a member of the student council for no reason

warm, friendly, responsible and hardworking - you’re the definition of being a blessing

esp to the teachers bc you’re one of those kids who actually help them and not give them a headache (unlike me smh)

like tbh you’re not the school president

but somehow people treat you like you are bc why aren’t you the school president??

you’re even more responsible than the school president and your attendance is better

the votes are rigged!! jk it’s not

a lot of students know you, not just because of the student council

but because you’re a really great tutor

like the greatest

you could probably take over the teacher’s job bc everyone just comes to you and asks

that’s why the teachers love you so much lmao

you have so much patience and kindness that you don’t mind getting bombarded by questions and taking your time to teach others

like forget the religion of hwang minhyun

that doesn’t exist here bc the religion of the “angelic sunbae” does

yeah you earned that endearment after some random seventh grade kid yelled that out loud when you were in tenth grade and somehow it stuck with you all the way till your last year of high school

now everyone just refers to you as that name

and that’s how bae jinyoung knew you at first

“jinyoung-ah. you see that sunbae? she’s the school’s angelic sunbae.”

jinyoung looks at the direction of his friend’s point, the smile that lights up on your face and the way your eyes crinkle as you laugh with your friends causes his stomach to churn

but this boi isn’t really the brightest so he thinks he ate something

yeh like his feelings oOHOOHOH

“angelic sunbae?” jinyoung softly repeats to himself, his eyes never leaving you.

that of course wasn’t really proven until his grades drastically dropped

apparently it dropped so much that his teacher deemed it as concerning

like the boi only went from 98% to 70% - at least he passes look at me i winged an aural test and if i get 50% i’ll be over the moon

but this cute baby did admit he was struggling with the topic they were currently learning despite feeling so insecure confessing it

so the teacher was like “issok boi, i gotchu.”

and by that his teacher meant “lemme hit you up with the only student who i know can do this bc im not dealing with your crap”

idk if your life is all sorted or you just don’t seem to have one but you happily agreed tho bc why the hek not

hence why you enter the school library and start searching for this student

you weren’t really expecting much bc you’re obviously used to helping other people when it comes to academic things

bUT HOT DAMN THIS CUTE GUY WITH A SMOL ASS HEAD STARTS CHALLENGING YOU INTO STARING COMPETITION

and bc he was the only person in that area, you assumed that he was the one you were gonna teach

i mean you were prepared to teach him

didn’t mean you were prepared for the fact that he was really handsome

you walked up to him with an apologetic smile bc even if you came right on time, he still had to wait and you felt guilty for that

“sorry, were you waiting long? i didn’t know you’d come earlier.”

meanwhile jinyoung’s just staring at you, looking all flustered and cute bc he’s freaking out on the inside

he just doesn’t know what to do in front of you so he simply shakes his head bc sha sha sha yknow

so there’s like this five second silence of awkwardness before you flash a smile at him

and your smile makes him feel alive again like is that even possible when he’s been living the entire time

“well i’m y/n and i’m going to tutor you from now on but don’t fret, i’m not that strict and as your tutor, i’ll do my hardest to make things easier for you to understand but don’t be shy and speak up if you have issues okay?”

he’s not really giving you a reply bc he’s just listening to how nice your voice is since it’s really soft and gentle

after all he hears on a daily is daehwi whining and jihoon with his stupid aegyo experiments so your voice is something he could get used to

but bc he aint answering, you’re just looking at him waiting for a reply and he’s making this entire thing more awkward than it should be so he just nods

apparently for you, that nod is enough to make you feel happy and giddy so your smile widens and he swears that the whole room just became brighter

“so, do you wanna get started??”

tIME SKIP WHOOSH WHOOSH BOIS

okay so you’ve been tutoring for about a few months, three days a week

at first he clearly wasn’t the talker but that was okay

your social skills were as good as the visuals this boi was blessing you

but bc you were really friendly, he opened up to you pretty quick

and now he’s just being a little piece of r00d crap

nowadays he’s treating you like you’re the younger one by patting your head and using his height advantage to tower over you before giving you that damn cheeky smile

sometimes he even drops honourifics and calls you whatever he feels like

“did you just call me a little kid- ” “no, sunbaenim. i didn’t say that you must have been hearing things.”

lol who says you were complaining tho, you’re growing fond of him

but ofc i made you oblivious so you wouldnt really know that you’re not just fond of him, you like him ahah howbowdah

meanwhile underneath cheeky!jinyoung is filled-with-anxiety!jinyoung who ain’t up for the fact that he could get busted anytime soon

busted for numerous reasons

cos for one, he basically knows everything you’re teaching him bc he’s outright smart

that topic that he confessed he was struggling with?

yeah that was highkey a lie, he just didn’t want to outright tell the teacher that he binged watch fancams and fan-made videos of pristin’s joo kyulkyung instead of studying for the exam (pls support pristin btw)

and second, jinyoung may or may not have started liking you

it was weird bc at first he thought he was just sick

but what sickness includes symptoms of making excuses to see a person, trying their hardest to make that person laugh and being restless at night bc all they to do is think about the person??

that’s right folks

influenza

i mean,,,

love yeh that

so those marks of his that doesn’t necessarily show improvement??

lmao jinyoung purposefully answers them incorrectly to keep his scores down

bc you tutoring him is the only way he can keep seeing you

but haha guess what it’s that time of the semester again where he gets more exams

this time tho you were gonna motivate him even more

“okay, baejin.” you say to him, pulling out his favourite drink and placing it on the table

he’s just looking at it with a cheeky grin, “wahh sunbae, i didn’t know you were the type to bribe people.”

you playfully glare at him but a smile still reaches up to your face a nano-second later

“i’m not really the type to and it’s actually my first time.”

jinyoung just grins, his eyes never leaving you as he leans forward on the table, “i must be special then.”

of course, you roll your eyes bc wow this kid used to be so shy towards you at the start and look at the boldness he has now tsk tsk

“you are special.”

enter jinyoung’s heart going ‘dugeun dugeun’ (totally making a snl reference)

jUST KIDDING HIS HEART’S HAVING A HEART ATTACK IT’S DOING BACKFLIPS IN HIS CHEST

ok ok why am i getting excited i know the ending to this wheezes

“ever since mr. jung gave me the responsibility to tutor, your grades also falls into my hands,” you begin in a rather serious tone that is immediately contrasted when he sees you grin again, “and whilst there isn’t really noticeable changes onto your results, this test might determine things so i’d like to propose a deal with you.”

jinyoung simply raises an eyebrow cos he aint taking you seriously after all the silly antics you’ve been showing him for the past few months

“y’know, this would have been more effective at the start when i actually took you a little more seriously, sunbae.”

“well, i didn’t think of it earlier okay! i’m human too,” you slam your fists on the table gently with a pout,

srsly not a good idea to be happily stuffing your face with food bc he took a lot of photos of you, reasoning that “you’re just too cute. i can’t help that.”

“bUT OI- IM NOT DONE YET. LISTEN TO ME.”

jinyoung just watches you, laughing to himself bc you’re cute when you’re annoyed. “okay, okay i’m listening.”

“right, well if you get at least over 90% for two out of your upcoming exams - regardless of any subject, i’ll reward you by granting your wish.”

lmao this boi was doing his best to maintain a poker face and not let out that mischievous smile of his bc he’s gonna pass these test with flying colours.

“well what if i don’t get a 90% for my exams?” he questions causing you to think about it.

“i don’t know, you can be my slave for three months or something. i’ll think of the consequences later but do we have a deal or not?”

he leans back on his chair, holding his chin almost as if he’s thinking about it thoroughly

a huge lie cos he’s just damn pretending

“hmmm, 90% for all exams and you have yourself a deal.” jinyoung says with a confident smile

you let out a sound of approval, slowly clapping “since when was little jinyoung so confident? are you sure?”

“of course! so deal?” he extends his hand

grinning, you take his hand and firmly shake it, “deal.”

wHOOP WHOOP ANOTHER TIME SKIP COS HAHA WHY NOT.

you were waiting for him to arrive, casually sipping your favourite drink and his on the table

once you see him enter the library, you instantly jump out of your seat

his exams are finished and the results have been finalised, resting in his bag

but he’s walking towards you with an unreadable expression

suddenly you’re feeling anxious and worried bc he looks upset and you don’t like seeing him sad

“baejin...did it not go well...?”

he’s looking down, not giving a reply and just lets out a sigh

your heart’s close to breaking bc he must have put so much effort and hardwork into studying

yet the next thing you know

there are these exam papers on the table and it certainly aint yours so you look over them

and all his exam papers were all marked with a’s and nothing below 95%

so now you’re just confused and standing there frozen bc your brain isn’t processing it well

five seconds later you look up at him, a fist raised in the air bc you were gonna punch this guy for tricking you

your tears were gonna come out wth this guy srsly

but you see that smile of his, eyes filled with so much joy that you can’t help to forgive him

“yah! i got so scared - i was gonna start crying.” you whine, slapping his arm lightly

jinyoung just lets out a laugh, ruffling your hair. “sorry, i just wanted to tease you a little.”

you roll your eyes but still grin, “whatever, weirdo but i guess i have to keep the promise so as a reward, i will grant one of your wishes! have you thought about it yet??”

he sends you a wide smile before nodding, “yeap.”

“okay, what is it?”

“spend a day out with me.” jinyoung says but instantly back pedals by stuttering a little, “i mean - if you want to though. i’m not forcing you or a-anything.”

you look a him, trying your hardest not to blush and ignoring that slight skipping of your heart. “so, like a date basically?”

“i-if you want to consider it as a d-date.”

“okay. it’s a date then.”

jinyoung just pauses then looks at you with widened eyes, “wait- what?! really? you’d go on a date with me?”

so now he’s just freaking out mentally and emotionally bc he was expecting a cold-hard rejection

he even practiced the situation with daehwi

you’re just laughing, shaking your head in amusement bc this boy can be really cute, “yeah why not? it’s not every day i get asked out by a cute guy.”

jinyoung with his red ears, blushing cheeks and grin that goes from ear-to-ear feels like celebrating

he could go on the table and just dance right there and then if he had no self control

“but can i ask you something?” you stretch your arm to poke his cheek and he immediately nods his head

“how did you get above 90% for all your exams? i thought you were struggling with these concepts.”

jinyoung sends you one hell of a mischievous grin and you can sort of tell that something isn’t right, slightly stepping backwards as he begins to explain, “i may or may not have been lying about my low grades...?”

“oH MY GOD. BAE JINYOUNG - WERE YOU JUST TRICKING ME THE ENTIRE TIME??”

“ONLY BECAUSE I LIKE YOU! FROM NOW ON, YOU HOLD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY GRADES AND MY HEART.”

“THAT DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR IT - i mean it does bUT STILL! COME BACK HERE!”

and hence to end the day, jinyoung blasts out the library and into the beautiful sunset, laughing away as you start to follow suit and beginning the chasing game.

#bae jinyoung #jinyoung #wanna one #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #baejin #jinyoung imagines #jinyoung scenarios #produce 101 #pd101 season 2 #so many words #im so sorry #i hope you like it

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imanes · 3 years

Note

do you think that "influencers" and celebs should speak out about "political issues"? (putting it in brackets bc. it's clearly an understatement n not accurate but idk how to word it) re: palestine? cause i've seen a lot of people be like "yeah they shouldn't talk about it if they're not educated or if they're just doing it for the trend" (even tho at this point its been so all over social media that ppl cant use the "im not educated enough" excuse anymore) n all and i guess it's a fair point and all but also? idk when i'm on social media and i see ppl talking about what's happening in palestine, and then i scroll down and see ppl be like omg new haul uwu! vlog with my friends! and thats just so???? idk. idk what to think bc on the other hand ofc performative activism is bad ykw? (like....re: blm ppl just posting a black square on their ig....) but i don't know what to think about it and i would love to hear your thoughts!!!

inchresting question to which i have no concrete answer to provide (except a lot of ramblings) because it is a thorny subject related to the ubiquity of digital society and the social weight we give to a certain class of people who frame their existence as something that could represent us but actually doesn't at all. and everybody and their mother - including me - has an opinion on it but at the end of the day it's just an opinion, not an empirical fact to be presented, and not even one i think about a lot bc it isn't a primary concern of mine on a day to day basis. so i'm like not looking for a debate with some random tumblr user (not talking about u anon, but talking about whoever might care too much about my inconsequential opinion) bc this is a question i'm answering, not a question i'm asking so to anyone tempted to "well according to the encyclopedia of pfppspfpsp" me, make ur own post!

i guess we can start with "should influencers/celebrities/people who are famous by virtue of being well-known even exist and should we lend weight to their words?" the answer to that may vary from person to person but social media accounts with a very large following can indeed turn tides with regard to socio-political crises, such as demonstrated by bella hadid who single-handedly educated a whole generation of south-korean netizens through her posts on palestine so we can see the good effects of that. now obviously bella hadid is personally concerned by the ethnic cleansing of palestine and has a lot more at stake than say rihanna with her all lives matter bullshit statement (someone said "saudi dick must be potent" but i think it has more to do with her contract with puma who is actually on the BDS list) or even jameela jamil who has a terminal case of "everything must be about me always".

people can say whatever they want about what well-known ppl are allowed to speak about or not but i'll just remind that these "influencers" and whatnot are people and they're bound to want to talk about stuff, especially when it is relevant or when prompted by their own following, because literally everybody with an account on a social media platform expresses their opinions about smt at one point or another in time. that includes random ppl on facebook commenting under news with their stale hot takes. famous ppl or "influencers" are no different.

I'll also say that "influence" only goes so far so I'm not *particulary* concerned with whatever whoever that i don't take seriously says. let me take the queen of talking out of her ass jameela jamil as a case study for this. people who agreed with her bizarre and narcissistic takes are already bound to agree with her because people flock to opinions that are similar to theirs. in my opinion that is not influence, that is attracting similar weirdos in your sphere and consequently creating impenetrable echo chambers of idiocy. did her stale ass take become a "consensus" amongst the indecisive? i don't know for sure bc i haven't run a survey but my assumption is that people who have critical thinking skills were rightfully put off by her rancid take and called her out publicly for it, providing sources and information, which i think is visible enough for anyone 2 look through. and people who like her talk and think out of their asses were like "wow preach i've been saying!" so they are themselves inconsequential.

so in my opinion it is less about influencing - because at this point i think someone can be influenced by a single person into buying a product but your fave singer is not going to make you buy into their ideology just because they released one lukewarm-at-best statement - and more about signaling where you stand. when viola davis and idris elba (amongst many others) stated that they stood by palestine, they made it clear that they stood against apartheid and ethnic cleansing and people who already agreed on these basic principles saluted their stance. do i believe they changed anybody's mind? not really, that is the job of well-informed people such as activists disseminating information and other people sharing the info. do i think that mark ruffalo lost all credibility with his flip-flopping? absolutely, and it doesn't reflect back on palestine, it reflects badly on HIM. we're in an era where people are bombarded with so much information from all sides that one person saying something is a drop in a bucket no matter how famous they are. this is also why we say that israhell lost the PR war. we were and are too loud 2 be ignored now and a few celebrities showcasing how inane they are doesn't change anything. the famous-ppl-market is too saturated for their opinion to matter a whoooole lot. support is appreciated but not hailed as the second-coming jesus u know what i mean?

to address ur final point about finding it weird that some people flat-out ignore some stuff while you are neck-deep into it, I think it's an understandable situation to find yourself in and as subhi taha said, it just looks tacky. i think it should be your cue to just unfollow whoever doesn't align with your interest content-wise. i unfollowed a loooot of people lately because of that like I really didn't give a fuck about Michelle phan's cryptocurrency peddling (which was already yikes on principle) in the midst of real-time live-stream decolonisation and liberation struggles against apartheid and ethnic cleansing, and at this point I don't think I can go back to caring about using social media for frivolous things (except cats and memes account bc they bring me joy) and following bigger accounts that are trying 2 sell me some shit, because I've changed in the past weeks, one could say I've become more "radical" (lol) and I'm ready to sustain an online space that caters to my concerns and abandon all content that I indeed find tacky in between two posts that talk about some serious shit. it's not to say I'll never post a pic of the sunset on Instagram again or that I don't consume content that has literally nothing to do with informing myself and disseminating information on decolonisation and anti-capitalism (I literally watch study vlogs from med students to unwind lol), or that "everybody should use their account in this specific way because it's the only one that is valid" (it's not and i don't care what other ppl do) but u are obviously dissatisfied with ur feed for valid reasons and while some ppl may not share your opinion it doesn't mean that you shouldn't take steps to make ur user experience less jarring.

it's again just an *opinion*, not a to-do list or smt that i'd ever want 2 present as a "fact", at the end of the day everybody curates their online spaces the way they want to and if you find your current configuration to be distasteful, that's understandable. and everybody is entitled to believe that celebrities/influencers/glorified sellers of products and lifestyles and disorders talking or not talking about certain things can be harmful or beneficial, as there are arguments and examples for and against it and i am personally not interested in participating the debate even tho i wrote a long ass text about it akjdlkfjgd I'm sorry about this u might be regretting ever asking me this question. hope i made sense!

#as an aside and given the decades-long israhelli propaganda against the palestinian cause #i do not believe it is at this point even possible to be performatively standing with palestine #but that's another topic!#ok i put it under a read more bc scrolling past this shit was exhausting

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paradox-oflife · 4 years

Text

massive q and a post part 4 ignore this pls

1. Is the grass greener on the other side? It depends on perspective I guess. To me, not really. All of us are going through some stuff in the inside.

2. If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one around to hear it does it make a noise? uuuuuh yeah, i’d say so!

3. Why does it always rain on me? (idk how to respond to this)

4. Have you ever sailed a boat? One time. It was kinda scary ngl but my brother basically did most things for me.

5. Do you love or loathe Harry Potter? Love. Bro, 2nd grade me reading books under the covers. Catch me with some Percy Jackson or HP.

6. Do you do your utmost for the environment? Of course mate. Though one person won’t have much effect on global warming, you gotta respect your surroundings.

7. Do you love or loather Eurovison? I only watched it once. Reminds me a lot of the Voice. I don’t really watch that type of stuff though.

8. Have you ever wielded a sword? YEAH. I got a plastic one for a skit in school and god it was so much fun doing choreographed fights. I felt cool.

9. If you were famous would you want a statue or a building names after you? Maybe something small. Nothing too big. Depends what I did to become famous too.

10. Whats your favourite type of fish? Why the Blobfish of course.

11. Which do you prefer pony tails or pig tails? Ponytails. I wear low ponytails like everyday because my hair makes my face irritated sometimes.

12. Whats the ultimate cake topping? Fruit. Enough said.

13. Do you like marzipan? It’s no bad.

14. Whats better? Center Parks or Butlins? (I’m assuming this is another British thing for hotels)

15. If you were in a band, what instrument/role would you play? I actually was in a band during high school with my friends, except we barely performed. We just hung out in the garage playing songs we liked. I was the bassist, or sometimes when the keyboardist couldn’t make it I’d play piano. I wanted to try drums but i can’t move my limbs independently enough. I tried picking up the guitar but there’s too many strings lmao i can’t memorize enough chords

16. Can you erect a tent? Nope

17. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck it until I get bored, then i CRONCH it

18. Have you ever used a telephone book? (yeah im old enough to remember these things) I used it as fuel for a fireplace lol

19. If you have an mp3 player what size is it? I used to have one. It was smaller than my hand.

20. Do you still have any music on vinyl or casettes? No :( I don’t have a vinyl player but I have old casettes of Chinese Children songs lmao

21. Do you still have a camera that uses conventional film? My dad has one, but it’s out of batteries.

22. Approximately how many DVD's do you have? A lot. I have one of those books with DVD holders and they’re just movies like Shrek.

23. Approximately how many Albums do you have? Downloaded on my phone - a lot.

24. Do you talk to yourself? When I’m alone. I’ve done it before at school and I got crazy looks

25. Do you sing to yourself? ONLY when Im by myself. God forbid anyone hears me singing.

26. Do you know any identical twins? I know two pairs that’s my age, and a pair that’s 27 I believe.

27. Have you ever given blood? No, I really should as someone with blood type O+ but im a big WUSS when it comes to needles.

28. Could you ever be a medical guineapig? Nah. I need something that’s been tested. Because if they screw up, chances are they won’t know how to fix it.

29. Whats your favourite radio station? Classical music station for short drives because I don’t know like any of the “mainstream” stuff. But I just connect my phone to the car and listen to my own playlists.

30. Whats your favourite letter of the Alphabet? X feels so exotic

31. Which is better? rollerblade or rollerskates? Rollerskates.

32. Have you ever written a love letter? No

33. How many valentines cards did you recieve this/last year? 5. They were all from my friends :)

34. What are cooler? Dinosaurs or Dragons? Dragons for SURE

35. Have you ever made your own ice lollipops? No

36. Have you ever made your own Ice cream? No

37. Which foreign language did you have to learn at school? and do you still remember enough to hold a conversation in that language? I did two years of Spanish in middle school, but for high school I went the easy path and took Chinese. Then again, most people who take Chinese already speak Chinese. I did it to jump to AP faster.

38. Do you know CPR? Only from the Office, but I’ve never had to do it before. I heard you have to keep pushing until the ribs break??

39. Do you have any swimming badges? Nah, I can swim but I sure am slow

40. Do you prefer digital or rotary/analogue clocks? I’m alright with either

41. How tall is the tallest person you know? 6′7″. Mate, I’m 5′1″, I literally have to tilt my head so high just to talk with him.

42. Have you ever got lost in a maze? omg yeah in New Zealand there’s this thing called a sensory maze. And at one point you go into this room where the seizure inducing lights are flashing on and off super quickly and it’s filled with mirrors. Me and my cousin were basically crawling on the floor because we kept crashing into mirrors.

43. Have you ever been attacked by a wild animal? No and I hope I never do

44. Have you ever ridden a camel? No. Don’t see a lot of camels in California

45. Whats your opinion on rats? They’re alright. As long as they’re not in my house

46. Have you ever been to a gym? Yeah.

47. Have you ever been in a helicopter? No, but it seems kind of fun

48. Have you ever cheated at a test? Okay, maybe a couple times but after 9th grade i STOPPED

49. Have you ever ridden a tractor? Yeah, I even wore a bandana.

50. Are you a gossip? No. I only spill tea around people I know who can keep secrets.

51. Have you ever cried at a film? Yeah. The last time was during Avengers Endgame when Black Widow sacrifices herself.

52. When you're ill do you struggle on regardless or just curl up in bed as much as possible? Well, coming from an Asian family, I developed that type of mentality where if it’s just a cold, then I keep going. If I have a fever, then I stay home.

53. Do you need to write down things to remember them? Most of the times

54. Do you keep a diary/journal? I’ve kept one since 6th grade. It’s so interesting to see how my mentality and thinking has changed over the years. From my lowest points to my highest, it’s so cool.

55. Are you scared of thunderstorms? Nah, unless there’s lightning close by. One time I was at Taiwan and there was lightning like right outside my house. Bro it’s the scariest thing ever. You see a flash of lightning next to the window and the house rattles with a BOOOOOM. Legit, it’s so loud

56. Do you have any unusual fears or phobias? I mean, needles are a pretty common fear so I guess not.

57. Whats your favourite disney movie? Lion King. The remake wasn’t that bad imo.

58. Have you ever slept in a caravan? Nope

59. Have you ever painted a house? I’ve painted inside one

60. Have you got green fingers? I mean, I’m alright with plants.

61. Whats the tallest tree you've ever climbed? Not that tall because I slipped and fell one time and had the air knocked out of me. Thought I would die there lol

62. Have you ever dialed the talking clock? (another uk thing)

63. Do you always wear identical socks? I try to but hey, if I don’t care, then it’s a free for all

64. Do you live by any motto or philosophy? A couple actually. A lot of comes from the Bible, specifically the whole Matthew 5-7 sermon on the mountain

65. Do you lick the yoghurt or desert lid? Yes, there’s so much on there.

66. Do you lick the spoon clean after making something sweet? Usually, unless it’s like raw or something

67. Do you like the sound of music? (the musical/film) I remember watching that on those old TVs during elementary school. I think it’s a pretty nice film!

68. Have you ever made your own orangejuice? Yeah

69. Have you ever sucked on a lemon? yes and i think i had a sweet lemon because it was honestly not sour

70. Have you ever licked a battery? no WTF

71. Are you a good aim with a rubber band? Ah, not really.

72. Have you ever played golf? Yee

73 .Whats the most unusual name you've ever come across? I met a Jezebel before. The name meaning itself isn’t bad, but that character in the Bible is associated with pretty bad things

74. Do you prefer to wash in the mornings or evenings? Evening showers>>>> you literally CANNOt change my mind

75. Have you ever danced in the rain? No. because I hate getting my shoes wet.

76. Do you like long or short hair? Long hair

77. Have you ever sworn at an authority figure? Nope. I’m a good kid

78. Have you ever walked into a wall? Yes. So embarrassing.

79. Whats your favourite precious metal? N/A

80. Whats your favourite precious stone? N/A

81. Could you ever hunt your own meal? No way.

82. Have you ever read any comics? None of your standard American DC Comics, but yeah.

83. Where do you like to go to on a first date? Somewhere personal. Doesn’t matter where really. I mean personal like, a picnic on a grassy plain, or under a starry sky. Studio Ghibli vibes.

84. Do you prefer vertical or horizontal stripes? Horizontal I guess

85. Have you ever baked your own bread? Yeah and it came out like pita chips lol

86. Can you believe I can't believe its not butter is in fact not actually butter? I don’t eat that much butter, but I guess it’s what it says in the title?

87. Can you name all 50 American states? Yes. Capitals though? Maybe 70%

88. Have you ever owned a goldfish? Ive had a beta fish and two guppies in second grade.

89. What was your favourite school subject? Orchestra and Literature. A lot of people are surprised at my choice of lit. But I actually love reading and analyzing, though writing papers kind of suck. The problem for me when it comes to writing papers isn’t coming up with a topic, it’s wording it in MLA format. Like I could discuss with people all the time but its hard to organize my thoughts.

90. What was your least favourite school subject? Math. Which is a bit odd because I’m actually not too bad at it. But I’ve had the most mental breakdowns when it comes to math. Geez, AP Calc was a ride. I also cried in Chemistry once.

91. Have you ever passed wind in an embarassing situation? Not that I can’t think of. And Im sure if I have, it would be engraved in my memories.

92. Have you ever played the bongos? Yeah. Pretty fun.

93. Have you ever handled a snake? Yeah it was a smol milk snake. He was a shy boy.

94. Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself? OMG YEAH from Ikea it was such an experience. The satisfaction of sitting in a chair you built all by yourself is so satisfying.

95. When did you last go to the beach? Like... a while ago. A year ago maybe.

96. When if ever did you last go to london? Haven’t been there, but totally would!

97. What do you do to cool down when its hot? Sit inside with a fan, or A/C

98. Whats the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Okay now don’t judge me on this one but i LOVE century eggs. It’s not too uncommon to find them in Taiwan.

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chickenstuffedwithmozzarella · 6 years

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Holii! Yesterday your inbox was hungry again and ate the ask number 8 :( (i don’t really know if the problem lies on your inbox or im doing something wrong when sending the asks tbh). Im sending it again only bcs it was the first part of the two asks i send about my sister, and maybe getting only half of it doesn’t make that much sense. You don’t have to answer, it just bothered me, sorry xd

Awwwww, I have customer that always says holiiiii!!! When she comes. And now she reminds me of you, jajajaa. But I read your holiii!!! with her voice 😅. I counted yesterday asks and there were 10, so maybe this time the problem was in your end 😝😝?? I see we’re both geeks of tech things,jajajajaja. Also, where is the message about your sister again??? jajajajajaj 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ what a pair. I thinks is just Tumblr, that is shit… jajaja

I saw the video of SOOT/Durkink. I wasn’t expecting that and i laughed too loud. JAJAJAJA. Also, i don’t know if you have instagram, but did you see Liam’s stories? He tried singing JBalvin parts and it was a mess. I guess they can now understand my struggle. He looked so lost, poor baby. That was even better than “una sacapuntas”. 😂 Anyway, i’m going to answer you now. (oh, and i’m sorry but for me its no under the cut. No even if i log in and read it on my dash).

Jajajajajja, it was very funny, wasn’t it? I’m gonna tag you in everything that makes me laugh,jajajajaja. Awwww, liam was so cuteeeee. I laughed so much as his puppy face. He looked so lost. He was so convinced he was talking Spanish… ayyyyyy. It’s a 10 for the effort. I kept thinking: that’s how I must sound singing in English,jjajajaja.

Here we go. Okay, first of all,i have to say that this new distribution was so confusing the first time i read dit, bcs it took me a while to figure out what were my asks and what were your answers, so at times i started reading and went…uuumh, that sounds familiar, i could have written that. Waaait… 🤦 🤦 🤦 Quite lame, jajajajaja. (1)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’M SO SORRY FOR THAT MESS!!! I wrote everything in a note. And your asks were in bold. And when I started I thought: remember to check later that it stays this way on tumblr!! Butttttt, when the time came I was SO SLEEPY!!! I totally forgot!!! 😅😅. So, I’ll go back to normal this time, just in case (though I’m writing it the same way. I hope I don’t forget later🙏🏻). Also, I wanted to tell you a lot more, but I forgot everything,jajaja.

Yees, im feeling better, thanks for asking

Well, if it was fatigue, you have the whole weekend to rest. Hope your feeling better. Lol, I feel the same, jejeje, when I see you’ve messaged me, I’m like: how do I let her know I’ve read it, but I can’t answer now??? Asjkxs;sjdhcbuidsljd

I’ve been streaming it since yesterday, and imo is not bad. There’s only one sentence im feeling a bit ambivalent about, bcs im picky like that, but i think its quite good. I cant wait to hear it on the radio and tell everybody “THATS MY SON”(My friends are gonna freak out when they discover that for once, i know the lyrics of a JBalvin song. JAJAJAJ). You have to work 10h each day? That’s a long shift. Is that your usual schedule or is only this weekend? Espero que te sea leve 😘 (3)

I heard it again today, for a bit. And it isn’t reggeatton exactly? It doesn’t have that rhythm that I hate, jajjaja. So I think I’ll be able to listen to it. I haven read the lyrics yet, so I can’t tell you anything about it :/ Same about my friends,jajajjaa. I think mine are gonna be more shocked about me knowing a song in Spanish,jajajaja. They’re always teasing about not liking Spanish music. Which is not true, but well… 🤷🏻‍♀️ What sentence you don’t like? And my shit is parted, so al least I have a couple of hour of rest. It’s how small shops work. So 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t have to be back till next Saturday, so… jajajajaja

Ohhh. (I see what you did with IICF lyrics. Smart girl). I was indeed paying attention. I swear. I took notes and answered you at the same time. I’m used to take notes of the subjects while doing essays, so it wasnt hard. Your taxes are on safe hands, don’t worry. My indecisiveness help me broke the system. You choose the pink??? Well done!💖 (4. I think? Why do i lost track so easily?)

How lucky you are, you can pay attention to more than one thing. If smartphones and SM had been a thing back on my student days, I would have failed everything. In fact I did. The first time I had internet at home, I was 15. Oh god! The memories. Back then, Terra’s chat (that you probably don’t know what it is. I myself, don’t remember exactly either) was very popular to talk to people. I met a guy. Ah! My first real crush. We talked everyday via Messenger!! Awwww, he was 17. We talked so much… jajajajajaja I was pretty obsessed. We talked from 6pm (it was when my internet started to be cheaper), till 12am (bc we both had to wake up early the next morning. Oh my god!!!!! Jajjajaja. One day I told him my real age (he thought I was 16), and then we lost contact. Ay! my first love,jajajaja. We never met. ANYWAY!! This all just to tell you that I failed 6/11 class subjects that the first trimester!! It was the first time I had failed ANY class! And ended failing the whole year 🤦🏻‍♀️. So, good for me to not have had an iPhone back then,jajajaja.

Yes me too. With some of the shirts from Harry’s merch I feel like they didn’t even try. Lyrics with a font that looks like Times New Roman… Really? And yes. They are expensive. You haven’t decided it yet? Do they usually have the same things that in the web? Do they have more As you see, im not very versed in merchandising or concerts. Enlighten me pls. (I must say, i’m loving the Honey updates). (5).

I don’t even know what/where/IF they sell merch at Niall’s concert. I would think they do, but 🤷🏻‍♀️. I think I’d buy a shirt. I have the shirt Steve sold for JHO (all black, with Louis and Steve’s silhouettes on the breast, and just hod on written in the back); and the shirt of Harry’s concert. So I’ll like to have one for each of the boys. I’ll see.jejeje.

Yes, it makes perfect sense. I totally get it. When I first heard OMO I thought “lol, me”. And when i heard Mirrors i though “not so lol. Me too”. I was so touched when he explained what was the reason that made him wrote Mirrors. He is too pure. We are so lucky to have him. After hearing your story i can assure you; i’m never going to get a lip ring. Never. Do you still have it to this day? 9 ear piercings? I still have to find the energy to go and get a 2nd one. (6)

One of the things I’m loving about the hiatus, it’s my new love for Niall. When I first knew the band I thought: I can understand why people like all the boys, but Niall? What’s is there to like??? And oh girl, was I wrong! In my humble opinion, he’s the one who’s having the best solo career. Not based in awards or anything like that ( I don’t think successfulness is marked with that). But I don’t know, he’s making a name for him. He had it so “difficult”. Because when people heard his name, they didn’t put a face or a gossip story behind it. But step by step his making himself known, and I’m very proud. And I love his music. And I love to hear him talking in interviews. And those work out sessions are paying off, ajajajajajjaaajsj. So, all my respect to him. (To te rest too, eh 😜)9 ear piercing plus the ones you “get born” with!!! Jajaja. Those were the 00s,jajjajaja.

Well, they cant be much cheaper than now, right? Bcs now we have to pay for separate tickets. That way would be just 1. Let’s see. They would play all of their songs from Four. Almost all of the tracks from Made in the AM and MM. Compulsorily. But i let them have creative license choosing which songs from UAN & TMH they want to play. Im no dictator. What about you? What would you choose? A camera? Which kind of camera? I’m sure you’ll use it again. There’s plenty of occasions, trips & so. (6)

See? I was very sleepy, I didn’t thought about that. It would be just one ticket, not four like now. I seriously hate them. They only want me for my money 😡😡😂😂😂😂. My setlist would have to have! Over Again (indispensable), Four’s songs, MITAM’s songs, solo’s songs. Also, the stage would be small, so they had to talk with each other and walk around each other. And I don’t know, I just want them back together, jajajja. The camera I bought is the LUMIX TZ70. I saw someone has posted videos of Harry’s concert from very far away, but it was only his face. Like it had a big BIG zoom. And I went to their IG, and they had the name of their camera as a bio,jajaja, bc people asked them too much. So I looked it up in Amazon. And I bought it. Mymy. Now I only have to go on trips and those things to use it…😅.

Right direction? What a responsibility. Idk. All that topics are really related to what im studying, so i just learn about it in class, and then, outside the classroom, i read as many articles and books as i can. I just read whatever seems interesting to me. Sorry i’m useless. What i wanted to say is that im no expert on any of that subjects, but i find them interesting. Thats all. (Your mom cant recognise Liam? Im surprised bcs Liam has quite a distinctive voice, at least to me). (7)

I think it is interesting. I’d love to know a lot more. I just like to learn new things. And I love when people tell and explain me things when I’ve said something wrong. So, that’s what I meant, jejej, that if I ever say something wrong, feel free to call me out on it, please.I don’t know why she can’t recognize his voice!! She just says: it’s not this or that, so it has to be him,jajajaa. (I need your opinion on zayn and j Bieber, before I go on with this,jajaja).

JAJAJAJ. Sadly i get too many “hmmm, if you want…” with my friends. And they are usually followed by “You all are crazy”. But yeah, whatever. I’m living my truth. I’ll definitely come and talk to you. Dont worry. (8),

Yes please!! You’re always welcomed here with every wild thought you have!! Jajja. I’ll do the same. I’ll write tags post to you whenever I have something to tell you, jajajaja. Now, I’m gonna check my inbox again, to make sure I had t left any ask without answer. You sent 12 asks today?? You’re amazing!! Thanks!! Ayayayay!!! I have to talk to you about a fic I’m reading. I haven’t finish it yet, but girl! It’s one of those I’ve had to stop reading bc it was to cute!!! I have even hugged my iPad because I couldn’t hug Louis,jajaja. Do you read fics?? If that… lets talk, jajajajajja.Last, Honey came to say hello a while back. Their cousins (my sister’s dog) is spending the weekend here with them, because my sister is on a trip, so it will be an eventful weekend, I’m sure, jajajaja.Byeeeee Love!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Pd: answering to the last thing you said yesterday :) LOU IS BACK!!! But how predictable that was!!! Jajajja. Even I said we would see him now that Harry was a world away. Anyway, I love seeing his face. Can’t wait for what it’s to come!! Bring it!! Jajajja

#anon #this looks better doesn't it #jajja #AHHHHH!!! it's 1am!! I’m going to go to bed!!!!#cdncuedndnciefc #I tried the read more again #I don’t know why it doesn't work 😒

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