#idk why i feel the need to be real personal rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

swinging-stars-from-satellites · 11 months

Text

why is everything (showing other people respect. being patient and kind. not flying off the handle about stupid things. emotional regulation and self-control. et cetera.) so easy when I'm not around my parents and so so so so hard when I AM around them?

#this is a genuine question btw I need advice bc I'm STRUGGLING. idk why everything makes me frustrated and angry #when I'm around my parents and it's SO hard to be kind and respectful to them and my sister #but so easy literally everywhere else #I hate that I'm like this I wish I could genuinely be a nice person but apparently the person #I REALLY am is the horrible selfish lazy brat I am with my parents.#even though it feels 100% easier otherwise APPARENTLY the real me is the one I revert to at home #but being nice away from home comes so naturally?? so is THAT the real me??? idk what to do I'm so frustrated right now #Lu rambles #can my mutuals please weigh in bc I feel like a terrible horrible emotionally illiterate person rn #bc of a conversation in which I fought with my mom over the fact that I have a hard time respecting my middle school aged sister #bc I don't want her (bold. confident. sometimes a little bit of a brat as well bc humanity) thinking she can walk all over me #the way she acts always makes me feel like she thinks she's better than me but maybe it's just my mindset. bc I KNOW #that my middle schooler sister IS better than me in most ways and I HATE that. how can someone #so much younger than me be better than me at basically everything she sets her mind to?#and how can I ever have confidence in myself when I know that's the case??? it's so frustrating!!#ugghdnfnsngsmkgnskfnskd I need advice and prayers. and probably to go to bed early tonight.

71 notes · View notes

perilegs · 9 months

Text

ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion

#ngl karlach would be too good for me and i wouldnt deserve it #shed probably ask me stuff like 'what do you want?' upon which i would be paralyzed with fear my mind completely blank unable #to process why i can't answer a simple question #and she's so up front with her emotions which i absolutely adore but i could not reciprocate that #wait am i actually for real avoiding the karlach romance bc i feel like this fictional character from a video game is too good for me #a real human being. like. i think i would feel guilty about romancing her #which makes no sense bc i romance characters too good for anyone all of the time. but idk #in those cases ive always had like a strong character i play as who is very divorced from who i am #but playing as durge there is no past so idk who my tav is yet so all i can do is project so he feels very. personal #im v sleepy and also ive had brain fog all day so yea idk #i mean i do genuinely like astarion and his character but in his case i dont feel guilty bc i feel like i #i have no idea how to finish that sentence without it sounding like 'i can fix him'#bc i dont want to fix him i want to show him compassion and respect him and his boundaries so he'll be able to reclaim tje feeling of #being in control of his life #so he'll stop putting people down to feel like hes on a pedestal #like i get him and why he is like that but i just feel like being kind and caring towards him would feel so good #it wouldnt fix him and thats a good thing bc i dont want him to change who he is but i do think he needs support #also hes hot im so mad at myself for being so atteacted to him #we wouldnt b here if i didnt have a thing for voices #besides thag back to the main point of astarion its like. ugh! im so frustrated rn bc i dont have the words #to express my emotions toward him bc everything ive said lacks the nuance that im feelikg but idk how to put it in words #i guess i want to protect him? that such a terrible sentence and still not what om going for

23 notes · View notes

tiredstressedemotionalmess · 1 year

Text

everyday i get closer and closer to writing wholesome fluffy gerbert rpf entirely out of spite for the bert villianizers who turned me away from listening to the used for years

#every day i feel the need to apologize to bert mccracken for just. blindly taking fanfic depections of hom as fact #in my defense i was in middle school and i had never heard of the used to i didnt realize he was a real person for a WHILE #and then once i figured out he was real i literally knew nothing abt him aside from what was in fics and they all treated him the same way #so i just assumed there was some fact behind it ig?? 😭#and then as i got older it just sort of clicked that Oh Yeah all of this shit us Made Up and maybe i should Fact Check This #and now the used is one of my favorite bands and i love bert so much and i am still so fucking angry that everyone fucking treated him like #shit for absolutely no reason they just. needed a villan?#actually no ik the reason is bc he fucking struggled with addiction and people love to villianize addicts #especially bc hes seen as more masculine than gerard so even tho gerard struggled with addiction too HES not the villian bc hes too SWEET #and PURE and SOFT #but bert's seen as more masc and tough and loud so OBVIOUSLY that makes him a violent and abusive addict bc ppl love to equate masculinity #with 'strength' and violence and i could absolutely write a whole fucking paper on this topic if i had time to organize my thoughts #and idk if im even articulating this well rn but yeah. it makes me so fucking angry and disappointed and maybe its a stupid solution but i #know there are still SO many fics out where that do this shit and ik its still fucking with ppls perceptions of bert bc ive seen it!!!#ive seen ppl talk shit abt him and they dont even know *why* theyre talking shit #they just think hes an asshole bc of bullshit theyve heard/read and im sick of it!!!! im gonna write a novel where hes the hero just to #spite you fucks!!!! fuck!

23 notes · View notes

munamania · 6 months

Text

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love #what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it #why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties #of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often #so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk #and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore #i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them #. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec #but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd #but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE.#OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL.#and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness #but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart.#this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it #that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too #and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch #now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it.#because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do #something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope #and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude #this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post #ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting #all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever

5 notes · View notes

wrecking · 8 months

Text

edit: i ended up just ranting abt like the current vibe™ in the tags... sorry abt that but like also whatever i don't care anymore

#d #my food therapist really said the most real thing on planet earth when she said i'm meeting me at the same time everyone else is #i feel like a cringey overzealous emotionally dumb teenager who's a total embarrassment to everyone around me while i'm trying 2 say fuck i #cuz like this is the first time in my entire life i feel like i get to actually explore my identity and do like normal young people things #and i feel just. so so exposed in the sense that everyone is watching me make a fool of myself without a single shred of self-awareness #and it makes me so fucking mad cuz like i'm finally happy with myself!! i'm finally starting to feel like a fully formed person #instead of a 2d projection or an object or something monstrous hiding in the shadows because that's how i've spent until now imo #and like. it's hard to emotionally make peace with the fact things in my social life are changing because like. there's some part of me #that thinks that maybe if i stayed in that miserable place that maybe i wouldn't have any of the problems i have now #and like my life is a lot better. and i know that and i wouldn't change a thing. but like emotionally i guess i'm just #processing it as a fault of mine to have changed bc it's changing my relationships to others #and this isn't about any one specific thing like i've been having lots of small growing pains with a lot of ppl in my life rn i just am lik #there's a lot happening to me rn emotionally so i feel like everything i do is a fuckup and i'm just bracing for more people to go ig #which might happen or it might not and tbh either is ok at this point. i need to do this in order to live i think #idk why i'm even rambling about this i just have a lot of thoughts and i want to share them i guess. not like it does anything but like #what else is this app for at this point lmfao i barely even want to talk on here anymore because i feel like everything i say on here is #just pointless. i'm thankful i have a strong support system rn cuz genuinely i don't know what i'd do if i didn't like #i feel like everything is so much more emotionally Big to me on E and it's kind of hard trying to figure out how to manage it #like i'm basically finally getting to be me. for worse AND for better. and i just am like. insecure on some level i guess #not even over my appearance tbh i've kinda made peace with that. moreso my personality and what things i share with others #this whole post is so wholly unnecessary but i feel like i'm going to go insane if i don't get this out of my head #i've genuinely been avoiding talking about my emotions or my private life on here because i don't exactly feel safe on here anymore #which is like great. love it when my primary outlet for like. socially interacting with people casually gets compromised i love it #i literally softblocked like 30 ppl off of here so i could talk abt my weird sex stuff and my body and my deeper thoughts with ppl i trust #and then i still am too conscious about it! this always happens when i make a blog for myself to talk on #maybe i'm just not meant for talking abt things

3 notes · View notes

fantasy-costco · 1 year

Text

.

#Tmi #Vent post #Kind of #Me. Unshowered. Teeth clenched. Wearing a hoodie. (cringefail) (I only wear when I don't have the energy for a binder or sports bra)#Gripping the sides of the bathroom sink like a pathetic man in an art film.#'I bet miles Edgeworth from the hit murder mystery video game ace attorney also got worse ptsd symptoms during December and he got through #Law school so I can definitely go to class today. Writing 1500 words in two days is probably way easier than law school. I'm so #Mentally healthy that's why I'm contextualizing my very real mental illness and trauma through a very fictional lawyer. I'm so normal.'#I'm fine its fine I have health insurance again so I'm going to call a therapist today and set up an intake appointment #I'm just exhausted rn #'Logan why are you posting mental health stuff on the internet you hate when people do that' yeah yeah #This is safe though because none of you know my actual ptsd triggers and even if you did I can literally just log off #Anyway I need to put on jeans for class now because I'm at a low but it's not a 'batman pajama pants in public' low. I'm not 19 anymore.#(other people can wear batman pajama pants in public it's just not my thing personally)#(also my symptoms literally only include depressive episodes during December and I've never learned how to handle them so if idk #You have tips on getting through depression finals week™ and your comfortable sharing I'd be happy to hear. Don't feel obligated though #It's not my business)

9 notes · View notes

danielnelsen · 10 months

Text

hmmmm it’s possible that i’m witnessing many coincidences and interpreting that through whatever fucking schizotypy i’ve got……but i think this time things are Actually Weird

#idk how to tag this #unreality #just to be sure #like yes ok i know i know i know i know #i’m just in a weird place emotionally and probably very vulnerable to Weird Ideas rn #but if one more Thing happens in the next half hour or so……..it is Real i swear #i don’t talk about psychosis here because i don’t want people to think i’m crazy!!!! but i am!!!!!!!!!#i think i just need to take some ativan and try to sleep before..?#personal #i do know exactly why i’m feeling this way rn and i have also actively made it worse #but i’m also feeling like my sleep is gonna be weird now so i kinda. don’t wanna #but if i don’t sleep i’m gonna Actually start hallucinating so. urhrnm #i think the next 2 weeks will be pretty bad for me on this front

2 notes · View notes

zarovich · 2 years

Text

feels like everyone around me is living while i make no progress whatsoever. just barely surviving

#personal #vent #guess i feel down cuz my cousin is having a baby. really puts in to perspective how im a failure compared to my family lolz #like im one major breakdown from kms fr. and it wont even be intentional either cuz it aint like im planning anything im just impulsive #idk i dont like thinking about it i need to not think about these things i remember im alive and i start to panic #bc i shouldnt be. i dont feel like i am and i know im not alive but why am i still here then?? makes no sense #in a lot of pain rn too. my knee is blue. and my body is very weak. it doesnt ever feel real #maybe im just bitter but can you truly blame me. i didnt ask for any of this. none of us did did we?

18 notes · View notes

hecksupremechips · 2 months

Text

Ooooooghhhhhhhhh stressed 🥺

#dont wanna see family tomorrow and im sleeping saur bad lately i couldnt sleep last night and then had a typical fever dream #which gave me a really cute idea for a movie so im gonna keep it in my pocket #but it was one of those things where its like it says a whole lot about me and my trauma and its stressful #um um um and also im juggling all these different things like im sewing im trying to finally write im trying to draw again #while feeling like im failing at it all and then like i still gotta find fuckinnnnn job i neeeeeed money #this time of year is always really hard for me i hate when its warm again i hate easter and i hate knowing that summer is coming #aaghhhh rn im ticking and stimming really bad and im having trouble breathing hnnghhh #and im very sweaty lol i always get so sweaty when i dont sleep good i dont get it #also i think im just horrible like the one person i wanna talk to probably is getting tired of my constant life crisis and how needy i am #and theyre probably off being better without me there and im just a burden and then my therapist idk about him #i dont feel like hes really giving me anything like when i talk about how stressed and unsafe i am hes like you gotta find a way to cope #and he doesnt really tell me how exactly i should do that like mate thats why im here i need the help you cant just listen to me panic and #go ‘wow you need to fix that’ ughhhh and i think hes mad at me because i dont think he believes me anymore when i say im in an abusive #situation and that ive been controlled my whole life by everyone and i have never felt safe #and its just like ughhh like i feel like no one believes me anymore and theyre all fed up with my bullshit incompetence and constant #bellyaching and im a horrible friend and a liar and probably just being dramatic as fuck making myself believe im being abused when in #reality im the abuser the ungrateful brat who treats his family like shit and cant trust them even though they seem so perfect to everyone #and im so stupid and toxic for trying to run away and for being scared to death here #thats how its feeling anyway idk everyone is just. weird and im losing my grip on reality and cant tell whats real anymore

0 notes

smooth-boob · 6 months

Text

-

#I’m gonna be so real rn #the more I look at tv kathony the less I understand why they fell for each other #like book kathony makes so so so much sense that it makes tv kathony look contrived #they are literally each other’s comfort person in the book #they invariably anticipate each other’s needs by paying attention to one another #they process their trauma together #they become friends first #and before they really acknowledge their feelings they’re engaged for convenience reasons which FORCES the issue #because they’re both emotionally closeted #most importantly Anthony actually proves himself and shows her his good side not even on purpose #he’s just the way he is #and she knows he’s a complicated mess but tbh so is she #in the show I will say Kate has way more of a driving force which is appreciated and mirrors him well #I do think they trust each other if nothing else #they share these moments where they openly recognize the part they play in their plot #which is fascinating #anyway maybe this is my excuse for struggling to write them getting together without all that #but I do feel slightly bereft knowing what they could have had #idk maybe I just need to watch the show again #.braindump

0 notes

snekdood · 7 months

Text

i knew ppl who were more dedicated to being counter culture than having any real morals or convictions would end up being nazis lmao

#if i say this to you will you knock it tf off and develop an actual personality?:#'omg dude you're so cool and different and you have totally unique/niche opinions on politics and also your politics are perfectly #fine and never need to be criticized and you never have to change' is that reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally the validation you need?#it might be the validation you *want* but is it reaaallly the validate you *need*?#bc idk how stroking your dick 24/7 will ever make you realize when you're fucking up but do you ig #bitches gotta be counter culture to feel unique. dawg at that point just give up lmao #if you constantly gotta be the white to someones black to *feel* different and *feel* unique then well a. you still havent found who you ar #yet and b. you're just a boring fuckin person rn dawg. you might not think it but it makes you entirely predictable.#its the same thing as becoming a satanist. you are akin to a 14 year old edgelord boy betraying christianity and you havent even grown up #yet. no wonder my abusive ex has no real personality.#mimicing ppl isnt a personality. being the exact opposite of ppl isnt a personality either. who you are is deeper than that.#unironically meditate fer fuckin' once. shut your mind entirely tf up about your external life and get to know you from inside.#if you hate yourself? cool! at least you have a better grasp on who you are now. at least who you are *for* now. you dont hafta hate #yourself forever yknow. you CAN change. but pushing away your feelings aka ignoring that you hate yourself and pretending you dont will #never get you close to actually loving yourself. genuinely THINK about why you hate yourself. feel the actual emotions of being a pos.#feel the actual emotions of regret. then cry about it. its normal and natural to do when you realized you've failed your own expectations.#and then move on and try to be better. you'll never forget what you did but it'll be a learning experience for future situations.

0 notes

cryptic-twink · 1 year

Text

Why does everything with them have to be do fucking complicated like just give me a break. I literally just want to hang out with my friends and spend the night, but noooo, we have to make it stupid and complicated. Nothing bad is going to happen if i spend the night at my friend's apartment, i promise. I dont even have that many friends anymore i just want to be able to hang out with the ones i have left with out it being a production. Why does this have to be so fucking annoying?? Cant sleepover with my lesbian friends because uh oh, two lesbians cant share a room (i can and have without anything happening) i cant let my straight friend sleep in my room because idk (i can and have done it in the past) and i cant sleepover at my friends house, bitch he has a bf. (I wouldn't even be in the same room) i hate this so fucking much how much loger before i can get out of here like 2 years isnt that long but its going to feel like 100. Like i want to scream but i just have to sit here and pretend that sure its fine ill just let the few friends i have left slip away and never seriously date anyone for more than two months. Sure its fine that all of my friends can hang out with each other whenever they want but i have to give a whole dissertation on what we're doing and who'll be there give me a fucking break as if they didnt do the same things when they were my age. Sure its fine if you misgender me at every opportunity (my pronouns have been the same for longer than ive been out, over a year) and call me a lady and a girl. Im so tired of this shit i just want to leave. I know it would make things a million times more difficult but i just want to be able to have new years at my friends house without having to justify every single thing i do

#Ik it was a little vague #I just needed to rant though #my ramblings #Im so sick of this #I feel bad complaining too because my friends have it so much worse than me but im also fucking miserable #Like my mental health has never been worse and idk why i know im insanely privileged #Mental health #mental health talk #Ive lost so many friends idk how or why #Im just trying to hold onto the ones i have but its hard when almost all of them will have graduated in a year #The one person i can talk to about anything serious graduated and im trying desperately to stay friends #I know hes struggling too but im afraid hes going to give up on putting in effort #Im just trying to exist without any real mental health help #its not going great #If u actually read all the tags illy #Kissing u on the lips rn

0 notes

mclqren · 2 months

Text

STARTING ANEW ★ CL16

PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!ex girlfriend!reader ; niall horan x fem!reader

SUMMARY ✦ when your relationship with charles ends up falling through, you find comfort in a certain singer's arms [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing, some hate comments here and there but idk if that's actually a warning

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ to preface: i usually don't write for anyone other than f1 drivers & football players, but i liked the idea of this so i decided to go ahead with it! for the plot of this, charlotte & charles broke up september 2022, and the dating timeline for charles & y/n is nov 2022-dec 2023. the logistics honestly make not a lot of sense but BARE WITH ME PLEASE. the fc i've used is hailee steinfeld, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

liked by yourbsf, charlottesiine, and 194,310 others

tagged yourbsf

yourusername bigger and better things are coming in 2024 🪩

view all comments

user4 oh she is glowinggg!!

user5 y/n is living her best life and we love to see it!

yourbsf nyc was sooo much fun w you 😘

yourusername had the best timeee 💗💗

user6 SHE'S IN NEW YORK RN??

user7 OKAY SHE'S STRAIGHT FIREE 🔥🔥

charlottesiine you're sooo perfect! 🤍

yourusername all you cha!! 💗💗

user8 MOTHERS SPOTTED TOGETHER??

yourusername

( caption one: the only cha i need 😘 | caption two: night out 🌃 )

liked by charles_leclerc, charlottesiine, and 210,998 others

tagged charlottesiine

yourusername idk this weekend's been kinda fun!

view all comments

user13 THIS FRIENDSHIP IS SOMETHING IM ABSOLUTELY HERE FOR.

user14 charlotte x y/n WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!

user15 okay but the mysterious guy in the third pic??

user16 she's in another relationship??

user17 how has she already moved on that quickly tf... neither of them deserved charles.

user18 shut uppp!! you have no clue about y/n's personal life, for all we knew that literally COULD be charles, or it could be someone else! she should be able to do whatever she wants without some troll deciding they have a relevant opinion ❤️

charlottesiine the best weekend everrr!!

yourusername love you 💗

user19 CUTIESSS

user20 the way charles liked this ☹️☹️

user21 missing them hours

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,081,007 others

charles_leclerc testing is all doneee - let's smash the race next week!

view all comments

user22 MY OH MYYYY

user23 he knows what he's doing w those pictures of himself

user24 no real im sweating over here.

user25 sooo...are you ever going to mention the breakup??

user26 or the new pics of y/n and her mystery man??

user27 to everyone asking charles to speak on his breakup: leave him alone! it's clear him and y/n are still on good terms as they're still liking each other's insta posts, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're together! they're people too, i think we all need to just leave them alone to process their breakup ❤️

user28 okay but y/n clearly is over him?? she's already processed the breakup, so why shouldn't he have?

user29 everyone needs to honestly just leave them be. this is sooo old rn and they're probably tired of it.

carlossainz55 all ready for the new season 🏎️🏎️

charles_leclerc 👊👊

liked by charles_leclerc, niallhoran, and 190,201 others

yourusername sitting still, looking pretty! 😘💗

view all comments

user30 OH SHE'S STRAIGHT FIREEE

user31 THE DRESS THE MAKEUP IT'S ALL SO PERFECT

user32 i needdd a grwm asap ur gorgeous girl!!

user33 okay but the second pic??

user34 we already knew she was over charles?

user33 yeahhh its just so strange to see her soft launching another guy

user35 idc what anyone says i LOVE that y/n has found another man she's happy with!!

user36 sooo real for this!! she deserves all the happiness in the world 💗

charlottesiine 😍😍

yourusername chaaa!! 💗

yourusername

( caption: heyy just came on here to say that me and charles are still broken up. i’ve seen a lot of rumours floating around the internet about the nature of our relationship, and while it is no one’s business except our own, i would like to just say that the break up, as previously stated, WAS mutual & we are still friends. mine and charlotte’s friendship also seems to be coming under a lot of fire recently, for whatever reason. she is an amazing woman and has been so supportive during this time of my life, so i kindly ask you stop bashing us on social media for simply being friends. thank you to all of the people sending me lovely messages - ur support isn’t going unnoticed 💗 )

liked by charles_leclerc, niallhoran, and 303,331 others

tagged niallhoran

yourusername the best thing life could've thrown at me 💗

comments for this post have been limited

niallhoran and who's that handsome fella 😘

yourusername just some annoying irish guy i met, idk how to get rid of him

yourbsf Y/N!! 😍

yourusername MY REAL LOVER 😘

charles_leclerc ❤️

yourusername 💗💗

charlottesiine me when i have to third wheel now ☹️

yourusername no neverrr ur my baby angel he can third wheel us 😍

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

712 notes · View notes

daffodiline · 2 years

Text

i wanna chew my arm off.

#i want to be loved i want to be accepted and it hurts when i keep feeling that i'm not good enough.#idk how to calm myself down i'm having a breakdown and crying all the time bc i feel so lonely #and now my closest friend that i felt like i could always rely on #has been acting distant the whole month and i finally confronted her and asked her whats up #and she said she needed to step away and evaluate all her relationships and that she sometimes feels stuck in the past with me #and god i get her i really do #but it hurts so much that i'm not good enough for her and i'm not what she wants or needs rn #i know it's not healthy to depend on someone but also isnt' that what humans do. we love and we care #why can't i find anyone that loves me and cares for me and texts me in the middle of the day #and does stupid shit with me #cooks with me and goes shopping #i really want to find a new family and i keep searching for it but i never fit in #i never belong i'm not funny or chill or smart or whatever enough #and i never quite feel right around other people #and that means that i'm the problem #i really want to believe in humanity and love and kindness and friends and found family #but real life keeps proving me that i can't find that i can't find a person that's gonna stick with me #i know this could be a lesson for me to like learn how to be happy with myself but pls!! i want to hang out with friends i want that so bad #i can't be alone all the time i've been alone for three days and i'm going crazy #i'm gonna delete this later but for now i really needed to get this out #idk if what i'm feeling is right or healthy or normal but i needed to get it out i was gonna go crazy

0 notes

jjwho · 2 months

Text

What You Need To Hear RN.

1-2

3-4

.

Pile 1

Cards pulled out: Seven of cups, Nine of cups, The highpriestess and Five of cups

You have a lot of options laid in front of you or are coming in, but it may have not been the thing or option you have been seeking, but it could be something that's taking you on the right path, but I see you being upset or more focused on this other option you'd like have instead of looking at these many options being given to you. The way you may be looking at your situation right now might be you only seeing yourself having to take this path step by step in your way, but you may not understand that these other options will lead you to your future dreams or your future career path ect ect where you're actually happy doing what you're doing. Be okay with not knowing what's coming towards you and learn to not be so upset and stuck on the last because you weren't able to take the path "that was right for you", because there's a reason why you weren't able to take that path and that's why you have many options coming in now or are in front of you now, because your path is taking you to a different place which will still keep you happy in the end with your true dreams coming true in the end.

Signs: white butterflies, red wine, stars, Aries, virgo, pisces and Sagittarius. Green vines, 777, 333

.

Pile 2

Cards pulled out: Five of cups, five of swords, hermit and four of wands

Omg, I literally wrote this whole bitch ass thing out and it didn't save. Idk maybe that'd how you've been feeling lately pile 2. Anyways so let me try to retype everything exactly as how I remembered it if I can remember. You may have been going through some unexpected changed or something unexpected might have been stoned upon you so that had you really depressed and not feeling good at all causing you to want to surrender and give up to your circumstances that are put on you and you just feel so destroyed. It's time for you to really look back at this and really think is this is the right decision and just give time to yourself to reflect and think things through as you should know that you hold so much power and it might seem that you don't but you do, take pride in your achievements and take back what's yours from the people whether it's fake friends, or bitchass family members, take back what's yours. Honestly. Likeee. Better your self esteem girl you need it and celebrate what you've gone through and achieved with some real friends and family and their support will give you enough courage to take back what's yours with sass.

Signs:Violet blue, green eyes, green apples, parachute song.

.

Pile 3

Cards pulled out: Four of swords, seven of pentacles, five of pentacles and the lovers

Pile 3 you need to rest-

You've been working really hard and you should take a break, you could be working off financial debts or student loan debts and we get that but that can cause you to go off balance, you should learn to work and also give yourself time to rest cause you gave yourself a lot of anxiety and sleepless nights and are disturbing your studying or just your normal life routine. Learn how to ask people for help if you need, don't assume you can handle everything at once. If a person truly cares about you they'd help without a second thought. But mainly learn how to be in harmony with your body, mind and soul and self care is essential for you to step up girlie.

That's all that's coming through so the reading is super short

Signs: cereal, white wans, documentaries, student in university, medical field.

.

Pile 4

Cards pulled out:six of cups, queen of cups, lovers and ace of pentacles

Pile 4 it seems like love and stability is coming in for you. With love to come in you may need to emotionally heal yourself and reflect on your childhood and childhood trauma and maybe connect with your inner child or you next partner may be someone who reminds you of your childhood and that's why spirits wants you to heal on your last as you may try to run away from this lover or get triggered by this person. Be more gentle with yourself and be aware of your own emotional needs and don't shame yourself for having needs. I see you needing stability when it comes to these things before your next partner can come in. But that's all im getting pile 4

Signs: Aries, blue moon, riviera, ocean, water, blue glass, dark roses

#tarot community #astrology #free tarot #pick a pile #intuitive readings #psychic readings #tarot deck #pick an image #free readings #pick a pile reading #pac #pick a card #advice tarot

222 notes · View notes

whyse7vn · 10 months

Text

SEVEN -

[ ot7 x reader ]

sevendaysafreak

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

tae: we are watching jungkook slowly become alpha

namjoon: can you be normal today

jk: do you really mean that bro…

tae: with all my heart..

oh my god i’m tearing up

this is what being a real man is about

jimin: begging for pussy??

jk: I DID NOT BEG??

hobi: you harassed that poor woman for a whole week

yoongi: all for a hand hold

y/n: crazy!

tae: okay??

but it was literally real as fuck so does it matter??

jimin: it was real fucking sad

jin: personally if i was her i would of called the police like sexual harassment hello???

yoongi: right

namjoon: it was a great song jungkook

jk: > //// <

i’m blushing

that was me blushing

and i giggled a little

smiling rn

hehehehehe

namjoon: a thank you would of done it

jk: thank u >.<

jimin: she should of punched him

jin: was there need for an explicit version like??

we got the point the first time

i didn’t need to hear how horny you were for a second time

hobi: he just wanted to swear

tae: no he’s just real as fuck you wouldn’t get it

jk: real as fuck

yoongi: ig it was real as fuck for jungkook

he begs for pussy on a daily

jk: proof?

hobi: by bts

y/n: i’ll leak our dms

jk: DON’T DON’T DON’T

i’m sowyy 😣

jimin: i’m gonna punch him

hobi: fucking seven days a week doesn’t seem right

is that not how you get an std?

jk: no?

yoongi: is that not when you fuck multiple people?

y/n: you fuck multiple people jk?

jk: NO?????

jimin: why is ur no a question

hobi: suspicious

jin: jungkook has crabs

tae: that’s a real man disease

y/n: that’s gross

jk: i’m real

jimin: real itchy

namjoon: can we not talk about stds pls

y/n: i bet jay park has a couple of those

jk: ???

jimin: REALLLL

jin: that’s why him and jk are friends bonded over the burn

jk: i’m not his friend anymore

y/n: character development okay!!!

yoongi: was that bcs he stole from you?

jk: stop talking to me rn

jimin: OMG GUYS

yk i had the worst dream ever yesterday tae was in it

tae: and?

jimin: wdym and

tae: i hope you die

namjoon: pls don’t wish death upon people tae

jimin: yeah tae

tae: all of you can fucking die idc!!!

not jungkook tho he real as fuck

y/n: say real as fuck one more time and i’ll snap ur neck

jin: hot asf

yoongi: ew?

tae: nobody wants to see us winning jk it’s sad 😞

jk: i’m sobbing 💔💔😞😞💔💔

tae: they literally told us to kill ourselves

namjoon: literally no one said that

jimin: in fact YOU said you hope i die

jk: he could of meant by natural causes

tae: right i would never tell you to kill ur self that’s sick and evil

yoongi: kys

tae: ur not going to heaven

yoongi: aw man 🙁

hobi: what if we put tae in the electric chair

jin: what if we put tae and jungkook in the electric chair

jk: wtf ☹️

tae: i could easily survive the electric chair it would feel good to me actually

y/n: i’ve been telling you guys for years we need to lock them up

do you actually read the bullshit they say on a daily it’s actually insane they need help

like professional help

jk: i didn’t even say anything

jimin: you don’t need to

we just know

namjoon: i agree

we could send them to a camp

or something

tae: why are you talking about us like we’re not RIGHT here

jungkook get them omg

jk: i can’t go to camp

too much raw air exposure is bad for my skin

and i have a dentist appointment soon

yoongi: raw air?

jin: how soon is ur appointment?

jk: so soon that i can’t go to camp

tae: JUNGKOOK STAND UR GROUND

WE WILL NOT BE PUSHED AROUND

REPEAT AFTER ME

WE WILL NOT BE PUSHED AROUND

namjoon: tae shut up

y/n: right

tae: i liked it better when you guys just ignored me in this gc

now all you do is be mean

jimin: maybe u deserve it

*you definitely deserve it

hobi: stop talking then idk

yoongi: i will gladly ignore you again

jk: i love you tae i’ll listen to you talk

jin: jungkook the biggest dick rider ever

tae: he’s my little dick rider 🥰😍❤️

hobi: yeah definitely stop talking

namjoon: okay!

y/n: oh my god

jimin: ???

yoongi: um

jin: this is what seven was really about

jk: bro..

tae: lol

jimin: you're really gorgeous i would deadass fight 3 mountain lions in a mcdonald's handicap bathroom stall with my hands tied behind my back and my only weapon is a shake weight glued to my forehead just to get a chance to get to know you and take u out tbh

jin: nurse he’s out again

jimin: wrong chat lol

tae: and you wanna put ME in the electric chair

ur all out of ur minds

namjoon: you were gonna send that to someone????

jimin: is it bad?

y/n: so unbelievably bad

jk: blushing

yoongi: wow

tae: yikes

hobi: bts never beating the rizzless allegations

y/n: who were you gonna send that too?

jk: was it me?

yoongi: that was flirting?

jin: probably the notes app

jimin: no one

jin: told you

notes app.

jk: it wasn’t me?

tae: i’ll be nice and give you some better lines jimin dw

jimin: the only lines you have are of coke

tae: nvm fuck you stay bitchless

namjoon: leave jimin alone

jimin: right leave me alone

namjoon: he’ll open up in his own time

jimin: i fucking won’t

you guys deserve to know NOTHING about me

yoongi: okay don’t care kys

jimin: i have a crush

jin: i’m hungry

hobi: is this the same crush you talked about like 4 weeks ago??

jk: on me?

sorry jimin i’m already in love with someone else

yoongi: didn’t ask

jk: i won’t tell you who it is it’s a secret

namjoon: a secret from who??

jk: what does that mean…

namjoon: don’t we all know…

jin: i SAID i’m hungry

jimin: all you do is eat like omg??

get a job or something??????

jin: i have a job

i serve face for a living i would suggest you look into it since you have so much free time to BULLY and HARASS others but with a face like urs idk if you’ll make the cut

y/n: wow

jimin: i’m not reading all that 💀

y/n: never use that emoji again ew

jimin: 💀💀💀💀💀

y/n: this is why whoever ur trying to rizz up probably thinks ur a loser

yoongi: is it taemin again?

tae: ew you run back to taemin every 4 months it’s kinda embarrassing

jimin: taehyung you actually need to shut ur mouth

breathing the same air as you is embarrassing

and at least i have someone to run back to you are actually genuinely bitchless

tae: u are taemin’s bitch

so technically ur as bitchless

yoongi: gay

jk: don’t be a homocrome

namjoon: stop talking

jimin: it’s not even taemin so shut the hell up

i’m not talking about this anymore

moving on

hobi: what is your mbti guys

jk: physical touch

namjoon: that wasn’t the question

y/n: just say ur horny and go omg

jin: don’t

seven was actually enough

i will hear NO more about jungkooks sex life

everything i have learnt has been without my consent

my lawyers will be in touch

jk: my lawyers are ur lawyers

jin: not anymore

jk: omg…

hobi: oh my oh my god

namjoon: jin stop facetiming me i’m not answering

jin: pls joon pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee

namjoon: i’m not sitting there for you to look at urself in the camera for an hour

i have things to do

jimin: that sounds like very jobless behaviour to me tbh

jin: you can’t be ugly and jealous pls pick a struggle

tae: and rizzless

hobi: i know ur not talking…

tae: ????

hobi: tae i need you to do some self reflection

tae: okay?

i’m hot as fuck

cool as fuck

and real as fuck

i feel well reflected ty for suggesting that hoseok

y/n: i told you i’m gonna snap ur neck if you said that again

start running

jin: coming to watch 🥰

425 notes · View notes