Tumgik
#idk yet I'll see how people feel
raven-cl · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Working on some silly stuff...
79 notes · View notes
dazzlerazz · 4 months
Text
I should play CF again with a fresh clear head just to see if I actually like it without fandom bullshit clouding my mind
19 notes · View notes
majestic-kestrel · 4 months
Text
oh dear.
from what I've seen (on my dash) I feel like I'm the only one who was okay with that ending?
BBC ghosts spoilers in the tags
4 notes · View notes
lisianthoma · 11 months
Text
i miss a hat in time
10 notes · View notes
storybook-souls · 2 years
Text
ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6 notes · View notes
solarisposting · 2 years
Text
.
#sooo so often i'll see men like in person or in pictures or film or whatever else#and have intense moments of 'god i wish that were me god i wish i looked moved existed like thag' and so on#but like. i've sat with myself and my thoughts so much over the years since i came out as bi in my own mind#just like. ruminating on gender and identity and how those things work and look in my life#bc like it took 21 years to even entertain not being straight without immediate repression and 23 to come out to myself#so anything's possible!!! but...calling myself a woman feels right and is right. cisgender does feel right and comfortable and good#yet i still have these feelings of...idk wanting masculinity and femininity and androgyny and nothing and everything#while i also feel good and right in my identity as a woman#a queer woman absolutely and of course gender is gonna be more...deliberate i guess when i do perform#aspects of gender as related to my queerness or in certain ways BECAUSE of being bi#and expressing it in how i look act dress carry myself etc#idk man i know i don't have to have an answer or label for everything#but i also feel like all of this is a niggling little itch at the back of my mind#that kind of pops up when i have a moment where i find myself envious of men and also masculinity regardless of the gender of the person#or people performing or embodying it. sometimes in my own mind i 'try on' they as a pronoun. and the deviation from she/her feels important#but 'they' also isn't me i don't think. i know there are endless possibilities for pronouns and they also don't determine gender#mostly i think it's the act of considering how i relate to gender and mine and what it could or couldn't entail more than pronouns in and#in and of themselves#happy pride idk whats happening. my gender and sexuality revolve around 'god i wish that were me' whatever that means!
5 notes · View notes
myname-isnia · 3 months
Text
It's that "spend hours sobbing my eyes out in bed for several reasons, including but not limited to the fact tomorrow is Monday, the fact my social battery has been completely drained and won't recover anytime soon, the fact my landlady is due to show up tomorrow evening and will likely piss me off again, the fact I've had the urge to write since Friday and ended up not writing even a single fucking word, the fact exam pressure keeps rising and I still don't know what to do with my life after I'm done with school, and the fact I'm both completely overwhelmed and so terribly lonely at the same time" kind of Sunday evenings
#I'm so fucking exhausted. both mentally and emotionally#I spent the night at my grandma's and then my friend came over and spent the night the following day#and I don't count it as a day off unless I don't go anywhere or see anyone#so you could say I didn't really have a weekend#idk how I'll go to school tomorrow. I think even one person talking to me would make me fucking explode#and yet. despite all that. I feel completely alone#because no one I know irl can provide me with the comfort I so desperately need#spending time with people is all a big distraction from my depressive thoughts#and the second everyone leaves.. I feel more alone than ever. so completely and utterly lonely#I try to fill the void with my imagination. lose myself in my oc verse. and it helps sometimes#but when I'm not feeling particularly inspired or can't some up with anything good... I just end up feeling worse than I did before#everything I do is to distract myself from my mind because the second I'm left alone with my thoughts..#they go to a very dark place very quickly#like now. when my wrists itch and I can't stop crying and know full well that I'll go to bed in a few hours wishing to never wake up#and I'm left with nothing but a gaping hole in my chest. aching for arms to fall into and a shoulder to cry on#despite knowing it's not something I'll ever have#so I grit my teeth and bear it and hold on. for whatever reason#I don't know why I haven't give up yet. it's all arbitrary reasons like 'my friends would be sad if I was gone'#even in matters like these all I end up worrying about is what other people would think. not my own feelings#well. nobody has anything to worry about concerning me anyway. I'm too much of a coward to do anything#if I wasn't I wouldn't have lived to see my 14th birthday#and yet 4 years later I'm still here. wishing for an instantaneous way out that didn't involve me raising a hand against myself#because I really don't know how long I'll be able to take all this for. I don't have much left in me#I'm holding on by a thread. one too close to snapping. I'm scared of how few reasons I can come up with to keep going#I don't see a future ahead of myself. no college or uni or job or relationship or anything that might be worth staying around for#any attempts to imagine what life would be like after graduation are just.. dark and bleak and empty#I haven't got a single clue what I'm going to end up doing. maybe that's why I see so little worth in trying to figure it out#nothing in this world will make me truly happy. I don't have a future#and if I don't have a future... I don't have any reasons to stick around any further#if only I wasn't so much of a coward
1 note · View note
airenyah · 4 months
Text
.
#i've had some some uh. thoughts. about last twilight#possibly some unpopular opinions even that i haven't mentioned so far bc i couldn't be bothered#and also bc i don't know enough about being blind to confidently state my opinions on the matter in question#but over the last few episodes i've definitely had some questions that i'd absolutely love to ask some actual blind people#the fact that i've been watching matthew and paul's videos on instagram over the past few months doesn't help either tbh#bc i'll see the way paul goes about his day and then i watch last twilight and see how day is portrayed and i just go I HAVE QUESTIONS#i sometimes wonder what matthew and paul would think of last twilight tbh like. i wonder what their opinion would be#what would they love about it? what would they be able to relate to? what would strike them as odd? that kinda stuff. i wanna knowwww#anyway if you're reading this do go check out matthew and paul (and mr. maple the goodest doggo) <3#they're fun and their vids are also informative about the daily life of a legally blind person#tag geplapper#adrm#another thing is like. sometimes the show just feels a little TOO dramatized to me in a way that... idk it's a bit uncomfortable somehow#and now with the preview about the eye transplant and day maybe seeing again? uh.#not sure how i feel about this?#but also i'm not blind nor am i friends with any blind people so idk!!! would love to discuss this with a blind person tbh#anyway there i said it. a little bit at least#i have not yet talked about. the pebbles#or the house#anyway bye
1 note · View note
straykats · 1 year
Text
.
#kats personal#not horrendously personal i just. its not smth i would openly blurt about yet but idk where else to say this lol#like it still feels too serious for me to tell people#but anyways for the first time ever in my life i'll be discussing actual diagnoses w my counsellor/gp#bc i recently started going to the uni gp lol and i mentioned smth and they asked smth about any mental health diagnoses#and im not currently dx (can the shorthand be used like this idk) with anything#but like i havent really thought about it as well#not since like 4/5 years ago#and sure its passed my mind while i learnt about different things in OT but i never teally thought ahout seeking out a dx#and i brought it up w ny counsellor today (completely unpromptef meeting w her and she said to come have a chat so i was like oh okay??)#but then she mentioned she'd been considering me as potentially having adhd as well and i was like :0#now that one i never really considered#like yes i do see the symptoms but i always thought it was just like#idk thats just me HAHA idk how to explain it#but anyways so we're gonna talk more about it in a few weeks when i have a proper session#but rn im thinking too much about it with a clinical interest (she says i have my OT hat on) and not.. in a personal sense#like if i decide to get tested and i do end up w a dx or two like#what does that actually mean for me#sure it might mean nothing bc at the end of the day im still me and i'll live the same way i do now#but like#idk i realise i should maybe think about this more seriously than just 'oh this is interesting i wanna know how this works'#??????? idkidkidk#lots of thoughts and yet none at all#im here for a good time not a long time my dudes this is harf
1 note · View note
queenendless · 6 months
Text
😷🤒Sick Day(Adult!SatoSugu x Sick!Fem!Reader)🤒😷
A/N: Yep this is part of that SatoSugu Teacher AU alongside Moving Day and Nights.
Also, announcement. I have smut writing fatigue after just putting out one and I'm down with a cold right now. So that vampire AU gang bang piece is happening next month. I'm so sorry for this yall. Thanks though to everyone who commented on that and helped me decide.
But I will hopefully be posting a JJK Halloween piece to make up for it. A headcannon/ imagined scenario where the JJK cast celebrate Halloween with my ideal fave pairings in couples costumes and such in this what if AU. And yas it gonna be SatoSugu x Fem or GN reader, idk on that part yet.
All credit for JJK and its characters goes to the madman that is Gege.
* Please DON'T plagarize, translate, or repost my FANFIC content. Reblog, like, and follow instead.
I hope you enjoy!
Tumblr media
Your throat feels raw.
Your nose feels stuffy.
And you kept coughing every few minutes.
You should have figured spotting a curse forming from a virus epidemic happening in the hotel across the street would pose a high ass risk of getting infected yourself.
But as a Window, it was your job, as life risking as it was.
The more people inside and around the building got infected, the Grade 4 grew closer to Grade 3. If it kept up, dozens upon hundreds would die.
"Ijichi-san. Disease curse. Transitioning from Grade 4 to Grade 3. Requesting sorcerer help here immediately." You struggled speaking over the phone as you kept coughing, dispatching the address to him, seeing the revolting curse grow in size as its toxic presence spilled, tripping as you tried keeping your distance.
Your head was pounding and you could barely focus as Ijichi-san panicked on his end.
"L/n-san!? L/N-SAN!"
In a moment of ailment, you dropped your phone, causing it to disconnect from the impact.
You were barely able to keep a grip on your phone or walk without faltering as you felt more drained with each passing moment. You blinked a lot as you tried staying alert, stumbling before collapsing against a parked empty vehicle on the street, sliding down to your bum just to rest your aching head against your knees, hugging your legs to your chest.
That curse's smogs began spreading down the streets, into traffic, and nearby occupied establishments.
Believing help wouldn't get here in time through the systematic process, you opted for your wild card, shakily picking up your now cracked screen device.
"Toru. Curse problem. Get here ASAP. Please." Texting the address in your feverish haste, you pressed send before curling in on yourself, welcoming sleep to rest your aching self.
In just under the next few minutes — more like moments — you felt a boom in the cursed energy atmosphere, that curse no longer being sensed. At last, it was done.
The shift from freezing metal to cozy soft fabric stirred you awake a bit. Along with the feel of solid warm arms draped around your shoulders and under your knees. Those big smooth hands squeezing your shoulder and your kneecap had you tugging weakly on the front of that top, pressing your face against your makeshift pillow, struggling to open your eyes as your hearing painted the picture for you in the meantime.
"A majority will spend weeks recuperating. The ones closest to the cause will spend months in the hospital at best. Still though, no casualties. Thank you for the help." High chances it was one of the many medics on site for post cleanup.
"You can thank the young woman here for that. She was the first responder, after all. I'll tend to her recovery myself. Sayonara." You know that voice right away, even when he was muffled, relaxing further in his hold.
"This cold isn't going away anytime soon. Too bad reversed cursed techniques don't make the common cold go away." Your half lidded eyes still had him swooning at how frail and precious you were in his arms.
You murmured, noticing him in his black long sleeved top, matching sweatpants, and face mask with the blindfold. "Blindfolded giant." That's when you realized a face mask was put on you as well, your muffled coughs hitting cloth.
You could already picture him beaming, grinning, as he laughed a bit.
"Correction. Your blindfolded giant, darling~ Now then, let's get you home."
°•○•°•○•°•○•°
Geto typing away on his computer, working on his latest reports.
Gojo straddling his lap, hugging him as he napped against his dear best friend slash hubbie.
The former smiling fondly at the motion before picking up where he left off was their situation before both men's phones began vibrating and ringing.
"Geto-san! L/n-san has reported a disease curse spotting! But she was cut off before I could get further details!"
"She just texted me the location." The sleepiness was wiped away, replaced with firm seriousness, as Gojo started getting off of him to get some shoes on.
"Ijichi-san, do not fret. Satoru will handle the curse." Geto calmly responded over the phone before speaking concerningly to his snowy-haired hubbie. "Toru, bring a face mask in case the affected area reaches where you land post teleport."
Said man smooched his hubbie in kind before slipping on the black face mask to match his current apparel. "Wait up for us, Sugu~"
Seeing you both back, teleporting into your home office, Suguru smooched Satoru the moment he took that face mask right off. Pressing the back of his palm against your forehead to double check for a fever, Suguru's dismay was warranted.
So being there when you awoke from your fever dream tucked in the middle of your guys' giant bed meant Suguru patting your now sweating forehead with a wet rag, you trembling from chills raking your skin followed by feeling warmer the next minute as you coughed into a tissue he handed to you.
"Well dearest, you've got yourself a nasty cold here." Suguru noted with a gray face mask on as well, seated by you on his side of the bed.
"Ah bah." Your raspy spat earned you a cough into your fist before you were offered a filled up water bottle by Satoru who was sitting behind you on his side; blindfold off but face mask back on.
"Welp, I exorcized the curse and brought your cute self back here. Plus I got that report to work on in your precious stead. So you're welcome." He gently ran his fingers through your hair to ease you in whatever way he could.
"Thank you Toru." You slowly sat up and were then handed some cold pills by Suguru to down some water with. "Thank you Sugu."
"Now that we've made our home Ground Zero, you are hereby confined to this room. Drink plenty of fluids. Take your medicine. Get lots of rest. Do you hear me, young lady?" Suguru's smart ass tone made you pout.
"Yes mom." You murmured raspy.
Satoru snorted behind his face mask to which Suguru whacked him in the shoulder across from him with narrowed eyes. "At least Megumi and the twins are living in the dorms now and Tsumiki was able to convince her classmate to stay at her place for a while. Meaning we three have the place to ourselves~"
"Does that mean … I have to sleep by myself?" You whimpered, cracking their resolve. "Neither the Gojo Geto bears, nor the Gojo Geto cats, not even the Gojo Geto giant round plushies can substitute for the real deal." You moped, pointing at said custom made toys lined up on the window seat on the far side of the room.
"Aww, Suguru, how can we deny our lovely sweetheart the company of her valiant handsome knights in the flesh, huh~!?" Satoru dramatized his own cries, muffled though.
Suguru sighed, consigning. "At least one of us should. Who else will be teaching the first years in the meantime?"
"Round robin, then? Last one left standing tends to that noble martyr and gets our dear sweetheart to be their own personal nurse in the end … huh …" That hum and those inquiring eyes could only bode mischief. "I volunteer Suguru to go first!"
"Not gonna happen, Satoru." He immediately denied.
"But to be fed by, bathed by and be doted on by our angel is heaven sent~!" Satoru gushed.
"Which is why you shouldn't be the only one getting that special treatment!" Suguru being jealous at possibly being left out on that.
"Hey!" Your strained shout ends in a coughing fit, curled up in bed, sniffling to which Suguru hands you a big enough tissue to blow your nose in. "I'm dying here."
"Hmm … Yu could fill in." Satoru suggested.
"He is working as a teaching aid part time. And he did say he could help out whenever we needed it." Suguru added.
"Plus Nanamin is on a business trip for the week~ He'll need something to do while waiting for his beloved's return~!" Satoru teased.
"That settles it then." Suguru was smirking behind that mask, you could just tell.
"How lucky you are, darling, to have the strongest duo be your own personal nurses~" Satoru was so smirking his ass off.
"Even though you'll literally get sick of me?" You shyly asked, squeezing your bottle, apprehensive.
"We have strong ass immune systems, Y/n. Comes with over a decade of immense training." Satoru prided on, kissing your flushed cheek.
"If we can risk ourselves in the face of death as sorcerers, this is nothing." Suguru assured, kissing your other flushed cheek. "I'll call Haibara."
"I'll start up a bath for us all. Thank you big ass bathtubs." Satoru clapped to that.
"What do I do?" Even when sick, tilting your head and batting those eyes made the duo smooch your lips at once.
"Just be a good little patient for us, alright, honey?" God that wink of Suguru's left you more hot than usual as he walked off to make that call.
"Besides, being sick with you means being granted a sick leave and getting paid for it! Ah, thank you, my darling sweetheart~!" Satoru did hug you, nuzzle his face in your hair, and left you a wheezing mess.
"Y - You're w - welcome!"
Well, on the bright side, at least you'll all be sick together.
Snuggled in bed, among discarded tissues, wrappers of cough drops, and smooshed in one big embrace of entangled limbs while binging nothing but sitcoms, movies, and anime.
You would eventually get better in a week's time then later tend to your two enamored, affectionate partners and get them back into tip top shape.
But until then, being in their cozy arms, sleeping smack dabbed in between them, that might as well be the key on your quick road to recovery.
The SatoSugu cure, indeed!
2K notes · View notes
eggmeralda · 2 years
Text
helllllllo
#that guy who i go to uni with and also live with and am in a band with and is sort of my best friend who i had a crush on ages ago#before i realised i was aromantic#so i technically don't have a crush on him but like the platonic feelings are intense#but anyway#he was telling me yesterday how he likes this girl on my course and she seems to like him and i was weirdly fine with it#finer than i thought I'd be#bc i get along with her so the thought of them dating isn't that bad i guess?#but still i woke up with that feeling of 'oh thank god it was just a nightmare...wait no it wasn't :('#i guess it's that whole feeling of like why does he choose her over me bc me and him know everything about each other#and like we've both told each other things we've never told anyone else etc. and we have loads in common and stuff#and i guess it's just general low self esteem stuff bc i'm never the one that people are attracted to so idk#even though i wouldn't want people to actually fancy me bc?? imagine the aroace panic#like i just want it in theory#but also it feels like i'm at that age when everyone around me starts getting into relationships and eventually i'll be everyone's 2nd best#okay so usually when we're out with friends he'll talk to them more bc we're both horrendously introverted#and so we usually just talk to the extraverts in groups bc they're easier to talk to when there's loads of people around#but then afterwards once we're at home we'll have some whole deep conversation and it's fine like that#but if he starts seeing this other girl then maybe he'll start spending all his time with her instead#and it'll be yet another once best friend who i now talk to occasionally#but yeah anyway aro loneliness being exposed to other people's romance is pain i hate amatonormativity and all that etc#ramble
0 notes
sunkissed-zegras · 7 months
Text
✮ 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡, jack hughes
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
♡ ─ word count | 10.7k (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. UM?? MB?? got a bit carried away with this one sorry y'all)
♡ ─ summary | y/n had always been in love with jack since she was a kid, but he had always chosen everyone else but her.
♡ ─ warnings | kind of mark estapa x reader as well but guess who she chooses in the end??? unedited (i'll edit in the morning y'all i just wanna get this out ASAP) SOOO MUCH ANGST OML, childhood best friends trope, unrequited love (for the most part), description of sex (like two sentences u could blink and it's gone), lots of cursing, fighting (sm of it), asshole!jack, idk they may be more but i'm lazy (promise they're not bad if i'm not mentioning them rn)
♡ ─ taglist | @valluvsu (check link in navigation for taglist form if you are interested!)
♡ ─ ev's notes | WHOOOHOOO! it's finally done yayyaa, i got this done in like two days bc i was so excited. jack hughes is very much gold rush coded, pls argue with the wall if you disagree. but anyway! this is a long one, so strap in!!! so much feelings in one fic lol i'm done, but i'm actually very proud of myself. as always, i'm open to respectful critics as i love to improve my writing for you all!! anyways, pls enjoy this fucking novel LMAOO, and let me know your thoughts!!!
Tumblr media
Jack Hughes had always been the most beautiful person you'd ever seen.
Not just physically, he'd always been one of the sweetest people you'd ever met. He genuinely cared about how you were feeling and listened attentively when you spoke. His kindness and compassion were qualities that drew you to him from the very beginning.
But it wasn't just his sweet personality that captivated you; it was the way he looked at you with those mesmerizing eyes, filled with warmth and kindness. Whenever he gazed into your eyes, it felt like he was seeing straight into your soul, understanding you in a way that no one else ever had. But never in the way that you wanted.
Every time he smiled, it lit up the room any room he was in, and your heart simultaneously. His laughter was infectious, and being around him brought a sense of joy and happiness that was unparalleled.
He'd always been the special one in the room, with his skills on the ice or his undeniable beauty. It wasn't Jack's fault that he had such an effect on people; it was simply a consequence of his charm and charisma. What sometimes made you feel inadequate was the way other girls looked at him, with admiration and longing in their eyes.
Every time you saw him with those adoring eyes gazing at another girl, it was like a dagger to your heart. What hurt most though, was the way he looked back at them. His gaze held a attraction and desire that you craved, but it was a warmth he reserved for them, not ever for you.
You couldn't fault him for it; he couldn't control where his heart led him. You watched him from a distance, silently cheering him on in his pursuits of happiness, even when it meant seeing him with someone else.
Yet, despite the pain it caused you, you couldn't help but be there for him when he needed it. Whenever he faced heartbreak or disappointment, you were the one he turned to for comfort and understanding. It was bittersweet, being the person he leaned on while secretly thinking how you could never ever hurt him the way those other girls did. Your heart ached every time he told you about his the girls, and you would listen attentively, offering advice and consolation. You wanted to be the one to mend his broken heart, to make him see that you were right there, loving him in a way no one else ever could. But you kept those feelings locked away, hidden beneath the guise of friendship.
And you knew he loved you, he truly did. He would just never love you the way you'd always wanted. You felt selfish for wanting more. He was already yours in some regard, others would dream of being that close to the Jack Hughes. You were already an important part of his life, someone he trusted and cared about. Being close to Jack Hughes in any capacity was a dream come true for most, and you felt incredibly fortunate to have him as a friend.
But deep down, you couldn't help the longing that tugged at your heartstrings. You couldn't help the desire for something more, something that went beyond friendship. It was a complex mix of emotions, and you grappled with the guilt of wanting something that might change the dynamic between you two.
It was hard seeing him repeating those mistakes over and over again, and him running back to you wishing he had someone to love him fully and truly, for who he was. You often found yourself on the verge of screaming, wanting to shout, "What about me? Don't you see what's right in front of you?!" But you remained silent, as you always did, playing the role of the understanding friend who listened without judgment.
And each time he came to you with a broken heart, you wished he could recognize the depth of your love, the unwavering support you offered, and the fact that you were right there, ready to love him fully and unconditionally. But it seemed that he was blind to your feelings, or perhaps he was simply too caught up in his own search for love to notice what was right in front of him.
It seemed everyone else saw how much you loved him, Quinn giving you sympathetic smiles and Luke giving you advice. They saw the way you looked at Jack when he wasn't watching, the way your eyes held a mixture of adoration and hurt. They noticed how you were always there for him, ready to offer a comforting word or a reassuring hug when he needed it the most. It wasn't just your words or actions that revealed your love; it was the unwavering presence you provided in his life.
And so, you continued to sit still and listen, even when every fiber of your being screamed for him to see you, to love you, and to choose you. Your love for him remained a silent, unspoken truth, buried deep within your heart as you watched him repeat his relationship mistakes, hoping that one day, he would finally realize the love that had always been right beside him.
He was always grateful for your presence and care until he wasn't. Until he started taking you for granted, choosing his shiny new friends over you.
The pain of unrequited love was compounded by the feeling of being cast aside, as if your friendship and support no longer held the same value they once did. You couldn't help but wonder if he had forgotten all the times you had been there for him, the countless moments you had shared.
It was a painful realization that the person you loved so deeply was no longer the same person who had once cherished you. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to walk away, holding onto the hope that one day he would remember the bond you had shared and the love that had always been there, waiting for him to see.
──
"Where have you been?!" Ellen, Jack's mom, exclaimed as you walked into the Hughes' lake house. She immediately walked over to you, embracing you tightly.
Over the past couple months, you had declined numerous invitations to Hughes family events over the past couple of months. You had told them that school was taking up most of your time, which was partly true. In reality, you just didn't want to see Jack.
"Just busy with school," you replied, returning her embrace warmly. Ellen Hughes had always been like a second mother to you, and her genuine concern warmed your heart.
Ellen held you at arm's length, her kind eyes studying your face. "You know, you don't have to disappear just because of school, sweetheart. You're always welcome here, no matter what."
Her words tugged at your heartstrings. You knew the Hughes family cared about you deeply, and it pained you to distance yourself from them as well. "I appreciate that, Ellen. It's just been a hectic semester, but I promise I'll make more time for you guys."
The bond between you and the Hughes family ran deep. You had known Jack and his brothers since childhood, and your connection had only grown stronger over the years. You were there for them through thick and thin, and they, in turn, had become an integral part of your life. You'd been close with the family since you were young, you'd been there for the brothers since day one.
From building sandcastles at the beach during summer vacations to sharing secrets by the campfire during family camping trips, your memories with the Hughes brothers were countless. Ellen and Jim Hughes had always treated you like one of their own, and you felt a sense of belonging that was unmatched anywhere else.
As the years passed and feelings grew more complex, you found yourself at a crossroads. You had always been there for Jack, offering your support and friendship without reservation. However, as your feelings for him had deepened, it had become increasingly challenging to hide your true feelings. You couldn't risk damaging the close-knit relationship you had with the Hughes family, especially when you knew Jack didn't share the same romantic feelings.
So, you made the difficult decision to take a step back, to create some distance in the hope that you could regain control over your heart. It wasn't an easy choice, and it meant missing out on moments with the family that had become a second home to you.
Ellen smiled, her eyes twinkling with understanding. "We've missed you, sweetheart. And I know someone else who's been missing you too."
Your heart skipped a beat at her words, and you couldn't help but wonder if Jack had noticed your absence more than you had expected.
"Luke! Sweetheart, look who's decided to show up!''
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. Of course it wasn't Jack.
Your heart sank as Luke, Jack's younger brother, bounded into the room with excitement. You were confused, you loved Luke equally as Jack (you tried to convince yourself), but Luke wasn't exactly the most enthusiastic person when it came to you. Now, you knew something was up.
"Hey, you," Luke said with a warm smile, giving you a bear hug that nearly squeezed the air out of your lungs.
"Hey, Lukey," you replied, returning his hug with a raised eyebrow. Luke's behavior was unusual, and you couldn't help but wonder if something was going on.
As Luke pulled away, he scrutinized your expression. "You've been MIA for a while. School must really have you swamped."
You nodded, not trusting your voice to betray the mix of emotions you were feeling. Luke was perceptive, and you wondered if he had picked up on your recent distance.
Thankfully, Ellen chimed in, rescuing you from the awkward moment. "Well, we're just glad she's here now! Dinner will be ready soon, so you two catch up while I finish up in the kitchen."
With that, Ellen left you and Luke alone, and you couldn't shake the feeling that Luke's sudden warmth and attention meant that something was amiss in the Hughes household.
"What's up?" You cleared your throat, looking at Luke with a knowing expression.
"Well we all know why you've been really gone," Luke sighed as he glared at you. "You don't have to cut us all of just because Jack got a girlfriend."
"Jack got a girlfriend?" That felt like a dagger to the stomach. Luke's expression, once irritated, softened into one of sympathy as he nodded slowly.
"He didn't... tell you?"
You shook your head, struggling to find your voice. A whirlwind of emotions swirled within you – hurt, confusion, and the sting of betrayal. Jack hadn't confided in you about something as significant as this, and it hurt more than you cared to admit.
"Who is she?" you finally managed to ask, your voice a mere whisper.
Luke hesitated, as if debating how much to reveal. "Her name's Nicole," he began cautiously. "They've been dating for a few months now. It's been pretty serious, which is probably why he didn't want to... you know, complicate things."
You listened to Luke's explanation about Jack and Nicole while a storm of emotions raged within you. The pain of knowing Jack was in a serious relationship was difficult to bear, and the fact that he hadn't told you himself only added to your hurt. You felt like an outsider in his life, someone he had pushed aside.
But then, Luke's words took an unexpected turn, and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "But that doesn't matter now, you have to move on and I have the perfect guy for you," he said, his tone surprisingly enthusiastic.
Oh, now everything made sense. It was clear that Luke had an ulterior motive, and you couldn't help but feel a little exasperated. "Luke, I appreciate your concern, but I don't think I'm ready for that kind of thing right now," you replied, trying to be polite even though you didn't appreciate the idea of being set up with one of his friends.
They were all fuck-boys from what you've heard. Luke would go into great detail every time you'd call him for an update. You had heard enough stories about Luke's friends to know that they were often more interested in casual relationships than anything serious.
"They were all fuck-boys from what you've told me," you said with a wry smile. Luke had a tendency to share his escapades in great detail, and you couldn't help but be amused by his candidness.
Luke chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, well, they can be a handful sometimes, but I promise this guy is different. He's actually a pretty decent guy, and I think you'd get along. Would I ever set you up for failure, Y/N?"
You raised an eyebrow, still skeptical. "And what's in it for you, Luke? Why are you so invested in setting me up with your friend?"
Luke's expression shifted, and for a moment, he looked genuinely serious. "Because I hate seeing you like this, distant from the family and hurting because of Jack. I just want you to be happy."
His words touched your heart, and you couldn't help but soften a bit. Luke may have had ulterior motives, but it seemed that his concern for your well-being was genuine.
"And um, well, I have a thing for his cousin." Luke cleared his throat and you couldn't help but playfully roll your eyes.
A playful smile tugged at your lips as Luke admitted his own motives. "Ah, I see how it is. A bit of matchmaking for both of us, then?"
Luke grinned, his boyish charm on full display. "Exactly! We help each other out, and everyone's happy."
You chuckled, feeling a sense of warmth and camaraderie with Luke. "Alright, fine Luke. Jeez, the things I do for you."
Luke laughed, appreciating your willingness to humor him. "You're the best, Y/N. You won't regret it, I promise."
──
Dinner had been ready and Ellen decided dinner would be fun outside. The sun was setting, casting a warm, golden glow over the lake, and the sound of crickets filled the air as the family gathered around a long, rustic wooden table set up on the deck, the same one they'd had a decade ago, when you were children.
You took a seat next in between Luke and Jim, Quinn across from you two and Jack nowhere to be found. Before you could ask, your question was answered.
"Where's Jack?" Ellen asked as she sat next to her husband.
"With Nicole," Luke and Quinn had mumbled in response as they both took knowing glances at you. You couldn't help but sigh, would you always be known the girl who's helplessly in love with Jack?
"Wow, you really outdid yourself, Ellen with this chicken. What did you do?" You tried to change the topic with a smile, as you ate dinner.
Ellen beamed at your compliment, clearly pleased that you appreciated her cooking. "Oh, I found it on the TikTok, it was amazing and so easy! You should start making it, it's so easy for school."
The conversation shifted towards discussing recipes and school, and you found it easier to participate in the lighthearted chatter. As the evening went on, you made an effort to focus on the present moment, enjoying the warmth of the Hughes family and pushing aside thoughts of Jack and his new relationship.
After dinner, you and Quinn helped Ellen with the dishes and you found yourself in deep conversation with them. The warmth of their company, along with the shared memories and laughter, made you realize that distancing yourself from the Hughes family wasn't the right course of action. They had been a significant part of your life for so long, and you cherished the bond you shared with them.
You were so engaged in conversation that you didn't hear footsteps that entered the kitchen.
"Hey,"
The sound of the familiar voice calling out "Hey" made your heart skip a beat. You turned around to find Jack standing there, a somewhat sheepish expression on his face. It had been a while since you'd seen him, and the mix of emotions stirred within you once more. And next to him, you assumed to be "Nicole." She looked sweet and you forced a smile at her.
"Hey," you replied, your voice friendly and polite as you acknowledged both Jack and Nicole. You couldn't help but notice the way they stood close to each other, the subtle intertwining of their fingers, and the affectionate glances they exchanged. It was a painful reminder of the gap that had grown between you and Jack.
"Hi, I'm Nicole," she introduced herself with a warm smile.
"Nice to meet you, Nicole. I'm Y/N," you replied, extending a hand for a friendly shake.
"Yeah, I know. These two don't ever stop talking about you." She laughed playfully and you felt heart start beating faster at the prospect of Jack talking about you to his girlfriend.
"Well it was mostly me─" Quinn tried to intervene before you laughed along with her, he was trying to soften the blow.
"Really? Well that's sweet," you replied with a warm smile, even though a small part of you wished Jack would stop talking about you to his girlfriend. It was a complex blend of emotions, wanting to be close to him but also wanting to distance yourself from the heartache.
Ellen smiled, "Well now that you're here, you all can finish the dishes and catch up,"
You nodded, "Okay, sure. Go relax, Ellen."
"Yep, and me." Before you could protest, Quinn left. He certainly didn't want to be there once you started "catching up." You cursed at Quinn in your head as he left the kitchen, alone with Jack and his girlfriend.
The clinking of dishes filled the kitchen as you, Jack, and Nicole worked together on the task at hand. You decided to break the silence with some light conversation.
"So, Nicole, how did you and Jack meet?" you asked, genuinely curious about their relationship.
Nicole smiled, her eyes lighting up. "We actually met at one of his hockey games. My friend had an extra ticket, and I've always been a fan of hockey, so I decided to go. I didn't know I'd end up meeting Jack Hughes in person but now, here we are!"
Jack nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it was a lucky coincidence. We hit it off right away."
"That's so sweet, right out of a book." You laughed and she nodded, blushing. You couldn't help but smile at their story, even though it felt like a bittersweet reminder of what could never be. You were genuinely happy for Jack, and yet, a part of you couldn't help but wish for a different outcome.
Nicole blushed at your comment, clearly smitten with Jack. "Yeah, it does feel a bit like a fairy tale sometimes," she admitted.
"So, Y/N, what have you been up to lately?" Jack cleared his throat, breaking the conversation away from their relationship. You both gazed at one another and you suddenly felt empty. It had never been like this between you two, he never asked what you'd been up to because he always known.
You forced a smile, your chest feeling heavy as you replied, "Oh, you know, just keeping busy with school and spending time with family." It was a vague response, deliberately leaving out the part about missing him. You didn't want to make things awkward, and you certainly didn't want to burden him with your own emotions.
Jack nodded, seemingly accepting your answer. "That's good to hear. School can be pretty demanding, I bet."
"Yeah, it keeps me on my toes," you replied, trying to keep the conversation light. It was becoming increasingly clear that the dynamic between you and Jack had changed, and it was going to take some time to adjust to this new reality.
Before he could respond, Luke came into the kitchen and he immediately looked like he regretted it. He forced a smile, "Um, is there any ice cream in the... fridge?"
You couldn't help but chuckle at Luke's somewhat awkward entrance. It was clear he was trying to give you and Jack some space, even though the tension in the room was palpable.
"Luke, you know where the ice cream is," you replied with a knowing look, amusement dancing in your eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, I just... thought I'd ask," Luke stammered before quickly retreating from the kitchen, leaving you, Jack, and Nicole alone once more.
As the last dish was placed in the drying rack, you couldn't help but glance at Jack, his profile highlighted by the soft kitchen light. He turned to you with a smile.
"Anyways, Trevor and Alex are coming tomorrow, you excited to see them?" Jack added with a friendly tone, trying to bridge the awkward gap that had formed during your conversation.
You nodded, appreciating the effort he was making to include you despite the new circumstances. "Yeah, it'd be nice to catch up with them. I haven't talked to 'em in a while."
All three of you exited the kitchen and you went to go find Quinn to give him a lecture. That was until you felt your phone buzz with a text message,
luke my friends are here they wanna meet u
Before you could type your answer, Luke gave you another text.
lukejack and his gf aren't here. just come 😑
You rolled your eyes at his attitude and quickly went to go find him and his friends. You quickly found them by the pool and you opened the sliding door, his friends whipped their heads to take a look at you.
"Hey, Luke," you greeted him with a smile, momentarily ignoring the curious glances. "You wanted me to meet your friends?"
"Well you said yourself you wanted to meet 'em earlier," Luke nodded and you got the memo.
You nodded and smiled, deciding to go along with Luke's plan. After all, it was a chance to distract yourself from the complicated situation with Jack and his new girlfriend. Luke's friends seemed friendly enough, and you were always open to making new acquaintances.
"I'm pretty sure you've met Ethan and Dylan before,"
You nodded politely. You had met them when you had helped him move in a few months ago and they were nice enough. "Yeah, nice to see you guys again."
"Yeah, you too." They replied in union, making you laugh.
"And this is Mark," Luke glanced knowingly at you and you instantly knew that this was the guy who had developed a crush on you.
When Luke introduced Mark, you couldn't help but notice the subtle shift in his friends' expressions. It was clear that Mark's crush on you wasn't a well-kept secret among their group. You offered Mark a friendly smile, wanting to make him feel comfortable despite the awkwardness of the situation.
"Nice to meet you, Mark," you said, extending a hand for a handshake. "Luke's told me a lot about you guys."
Mark's cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as he shook your hand. "Yeah, he's talked about you too."
Luke sat back down and you took a seat next to him, right across from Mark. "Oh does he?" You teased him.
Luke, attempting to play it cool, shrugged nonchalantly. "Just mentioned how nice you are, no big deal."
Ethan and Dylan exchanged knowing glances, trying to suppress their laughter. It was evident to everyone at the table that there was more to Luke's mention than he let on.
"Nice?" You couldn't help but laugh and exchange glances with Mark, a grin on his face. He was cute, you had to admit that. He was exactly your type, he looked sweet and had a cute smile. Maybe Luke was a pretty good matchmaker, so far.
"Yeah, he told us how cool you were. And then he showed us your instagram and all of us fell in love," Ethan mentioned, quickly pausing and glancing at Mark before continuing. "Well not in love but we all thought you were pretty. Well, I mean you are but like-"
"I get it," You laughed at his nervous rambling. You took another glance at Mark and gave him a smile, his cheeks turning even redder (somehow).
The table erupted in laughter, and it was clear that everyone was having a good time. Even Mark seemed to have settled into the friendly atmosphere, and you couldn't deny the chemistry you felt with him. It was lighthearted and fun, a welcome distraction from the complicated feelings you had for Jack.
As the night wore on, you noticed that Ethan, Luke, and Dylan began to exchange glances and sharing quiet conversations. It was clear that they had some sort of plan in mind, and you couldn't help but wonder what they were up to. You decided to play along, knowing that whatever they had in store was likely meant to bring you and Mark closer and anything would help to make you forget about Jack.
"Hey, Mark, do you want to check out the lake?" you suggested, giving him a sweet smile. The lake house had always been a place of fond memories for you, and it would be a great opportunity to spend some time alone with Mark.
Mark's face lit up. "Sure, that sounds like a great idea, let's go."
You excused yourselves from the table, and as you walked towards the sliding glass door that led to the lake, you couldn't help but notice the mischievous smiles on Ethan, Luke, and Dylan's faces. They were clearly up to something, you tried to ignore their expressions.
Once outside, the two of you made your way down to the edge of the lake. The moon reflected on the calm water, casting a romantic glow.
"So, Y/N, tell me more about yourself," Mark began, his voice soft and inviting.
You smiled, feeling a sense of warmth in the cool summer night air. "Well, there's not much to tell, really." You chuckled before continuing, "Just trying to finish up school and move to Europe."
Mark's eyes widened with curiosity. "Europe? That sounds amazing. What's drawing you there?"
You gazed at the shimmering reflection of the moon on the lake, lost in thought for a moment. "I don't know, these past months have been hard. And I never thought about moving out of the states but recently, I just wanna let go and start fresh, you know?"
Mark nodded, understanding what you meant. "I get that, a change of scenery can help with that feeling."
You sighed, feeling a sense of relief in opening up to Mark. "Exactly. I just want to explore new horizons, experience different cultures, and maybe find a new perspective on life."
"I've always wanted to go to France, I know it's basic but I heard they had good hot chocolate and had to try it." Mark smiled down at you and you couldn't help but let out a soft laugh.
"That doesn't sound basic at all," you replied with a grin. "I would love to visit France, even if it is every person's dream."
Mark chuckled, his eyes locked onto yours. "Maybe we can both make our way to Europe someday. Who knows, our paths might cross in a cozy café in Paris."
The idea painted a vivid picture in your mind, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to indulge in the possibility. "That sounds like a dream."
A sudden breeze began to pick up and you felt yourself shiver and Mark noticed. Without saying another word, he took off his jacket and quickly wrapped it around your shoulder.
It was a cliche, you know that. But as you looked at Mark, you felt a sense of warmth that had nothing to do with the jacket. His kindness and consideration made your heart skip a beat, something you hadn't experienced in a while. You smiled at him gratefully, the cool breeze forgotten as you were wrapped in his warmth.
"Thank you, Mark," you said softly, your eyes meeting his. In that moment, under the moonlight by the lake, you felt a connection that was unlike anything you had experienced in a long time.
Mark smiled back at you, his eyes holding a glint of something more. "Anytime, Y/N."
As the night wore on, your conversation with Mark flowed effortlessly, you found yourself drawn further into Mark's world, and the thought of Jack and his complicated situation faded into the background even if only for that night. In Mark's company, you were starting to feel a glimmer of hope for the fresh start you had been yearning for.
──
You awoke with the sound of laughter. Your eyes opened groggily and you felt your back scream in pain and it took a minute to realize exactly where you were.
You laid on Mark's chest, a blanket laid out on the both of you. You were on the couch and the memories of last night quickly flooded back into your head.
"Aww, Marky, you got yourself a girlfriend finally!" Ethan exclaimed as Mark tried to cover your face with the blanket, an (failed) attempt to not to wake you. They hadn't noticed you were awake.
"Ha ha ha, so funny." Mark mumbled in false amusement as he yawned.
You decided to remain quiet, pretending to still be asleep, curious to hear how Mark would handle the situation. A smile stretched your lips as you continued to eavesdrop.
"Seriously though, Mark, she's pretty," Dylan chimed in. "You two looked really cozy last night."
"Yeah, yeah," Mark replied, his tone still somewhat defensive. "We were just talking. You guys are reading too much into it."
"Sure, Mark, whatever you say," Ethan teased, and you could practically hear the grin in his voice. "Just talking, my ass."
"My clothes are still on, right?" Mark groaned quietly. "Could you guys be quiet, she's sleeping."
"Awww, Marky!" Ethan let out a booming laugh and you took that as your cue to 'wake up.'
You let out a yawn and pushed down the blanket from your face and they all quieted down. "Good... morning?"
"You have a good sleep last night?" Ethan teased and you tried to ignore the warm feeling in your cheeks as you got up from the couch. Mark frowned as you got up, feeling his body get cool.
You stretched your arms and stifled another yawn before responding to Ethan's teasing. "Yeah, it was quite comfortable here, actually."
"I bet," Ethan replied as he wiggled his eyebrows and you rolled your eyes.
"Okay, well, I'm going to brush my teeth."
"Wait, let's go eat first." Mark quickly replied, making Dylan and Ethan exchange glances.
"Before... brushing my teeth?" You smiled at that. He was cute, for sure.
"Yeah, Mark, let her go brush her teeth. Knowing what you two did-"
"Shut up," Mark groaned as you let out a chuckle. "Yeah, go brush your teeth."
You nodded and walked away from the living room, quickly ascending up the stairs and into the bathroom. The smile hadn't left your face and you felt like absolutely nothing could ruin your mood.
Well, you were wrong.
As you brushed your teeth happily, you heard the familiar noise in the next room other. The rhythmic banging, the moaning─
Oh no, you thought to yourself. You felt your stomach twist in disgust as let out an audible gag. The room next to the bathroom was Jack's and the only couple in the entire house was Jack and Nicole. You connected the dots and you suddenly felt nauseous.
You spit your paste and quickly rinsed your mouth. You needed to get out of there immediately. As you walked out of the bathroom, you bumped into one person you did not want to see.
"Oh shoot, sorry."
You looked up to see Nicole. She looked tired, her red hair messy and her neck filled with marks. They were obviously busy last night and you tried to push the visual of them having sex out of your mind as you forced a smile. "No, you're totally good."
She smiled and gave your shoulder a pat before walking to the bathroom. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and let your shoulders fall as you walked down the stairs.
You smelled hash browns in the air, your favorite, but somehow you still felt sick to your stomach. The imagery was still stuck in your head, you felt disgusting.
You made your way to the dining table and took a seat next to Quinn, crossing your arms and he immediately knew what was wrong. Your disgusted facial expression, your annoyed attitude, everything.
"They're like fucking bunnies," Quinn mumbled to you and you looked back at him with a nod. He looked tired, too. It looked like they kept him up and you were suddenly grateful you slept downstairs, even with the ache in your lower back. He put a hand on your shoulder in comfort. "Hey, if it makes you better, he lasts about a few minutes. You wouldn't want that."
His unusual teasing tone still didn't make you better, you knew Quinn was trying his best to make you feel better. You forced a smile and nodded, "Yeah. That's gross."
"What's gross?"
You turned your head to see Jack; his disheveled appearance making you gag internally, knowing what you know. You made eye contact for a few seconds before averting your gaze to the table.
"Nothing, buddy." Quinn responded with a smirk and they both exchanged a laugh. Jack then, took a seat right across from you. Now you literally couldn't move your gaze anywhere else without making it obvious.
Quinn seemed determined to keep the mood light, though, and he continued with the banter. "I heard you and Mark spent the night together last night."
There was a pause and a few awkward glances before he continued, "Um, not like that."
Jack looked directly at you and he had unreadable expression on his face. Confusion? Annoyance? Jealousy? Maybe a mix of all three.
"Well, we just-"
Before you continue you heard Ethan and Dylan's booming laughter as they entered the dining room, plates in their hands. They immediately exchanged glances as they realized who was in the room before putting sitting down with their plates.
"Your mom has food in the kitchen, if you guys... want any." Ethan tried to diffuse the tension as he smiled and looked at Dylan. "Mark's in there, Y/N."
As you got up to find Mark, you couldn't help but exchange a glance with Jack. His expression was hard to decipher – there was a mix of emotions, but it was clear that the mention of you spending the night with Mark had affected him in some way. You couldn't dwell on it for too long, though, as you headed to the kitchen to find Mark.
In the kitchen, you found Mark helping himself to some breakfast. He looked up and gave you a warm smile as you entered. "Hey, good morning."
He quickly noticed your expression and he turned to you with confusion, "Everything okay?"
You nodded, trying to shake off the lingering discomfort from the dining room. "Yeah, just... things got a bit awkward in there. Thanks for last night, by the way."
Mark chuckled, handing you a plate of food. "No problem at all. It was fun."
As you both made your way back to the dining room, you couldn't help but wonder what the day had in store for you, especially with the lingering tension between you and Jack.
You sat down next to Quinn as Mark quickly made his way to the empty seat next to you. Finally, everyone started piling into the dining room and everyone started eating.
The atmosphere in the dining room remained tense as everyone continued eating. Nicole was sitting next to Jack and noticed the slight change in him, he seemed more... moody. You tried your best to focus on your plate and engage in conversation with those around you, but it was hard with Jack's presence so close.
As the meal progressed, you felt Jack's gaze on you, a burning sensation that you couldn't ignore. Finally, after a while, Jack spoke up, his tone casual as he said, "So, Y/N, Mark seemed like a nice guy. How long have you known him?"
Mark exchanged a glance between the two of you, choosing peace and continued to eat.
His seemingly innocent question struck a nerve. You knew he was deliberately bringing up Mark to gauge your reaction, and it irritated you. Trying to maintain your composure, you replied, "Just met last night."
Jack's eyebrows raised slightly, a hint of surprise in his expression as he processed your response. It seemed your terse reply had caught him off guard. Mark continued to eat quietly, not wanting to get caught up in the tension.
After a moment of silence, Jack cleared his throat, attempting to sound nonchalant but failing to hide a hint of sarcasm. "Well, you two certainly seemed close for people who just met." Before you could respond, he continued under his breath, "Didn't know you were that easy."
Quinn kicked Jack's leg under the table and Nicole seemed distressed, too.
You bit your tongue. You clenched your fork tightly, your frustration mounting. "We were just having a conversation, Jack. Is that not allowed?"
Jack's gaze didn't waver as he replied, "Of course it is, Y/N. Just making conversation here because apparently I don't know anything about you anymore."
That really struck a move. He didn't know anything about you anymore? Jack's words hit you like a dagger to the heart. The pain and frustration were evident in his tone, and you could sense the turmoil in his emotions. It was clear that your distancing had affected him more than you had realized.
The tension at the table was palpable as everyone watched the exchange between you and Jack. Quinn cleared his throat, trying to mediate. "Guys, can we not do this right now?"
You felt yourself get more heated as you heard Ellen say something but you couldn't even comprehend it, that's how angry you were. Without thinking, you pushed your chair back and got up from the table. Your voice was strained with anger as you addressed Jack.
"Do you have no idea what it's been like for me, Jack?" You couldn't help but raise your voice, your pent-up emotions pouring out. "You just assume things and make stupid comments, but you don't know the half of it. This distance isn't just about you, it's about me trying to protect myself too."
The room was now filled with an uncomfortable silence, and it was clear that your outburst had taken everyone by surprise. Nicole placed a comforting hand on Jack's arm, silently pleading for him to let it go. Mark, too, looked uncomfortable, not wanting to be caught in the middle of this argument.
Jack's expression had shifted from surprise to a mix of anger and hurt as he absorbed your words. He clenched his jaw, clearly struggling to find the right response. Nicole's gentle touch on his arm seemed to be a calming influence, and he took a deep breath before speaking, his voice more controlled.
Ellen, sensing that the situation had become too tense, interjected again, her voice gentle but firm.
"Let's all take a step back, please? Y/N, sweetheart, maybe you could use a little breather, and we can all reconvene when things have calmed down."
You felt embarrassed as you looked around the room, all eyes seemingly on you and Jack. Feeling the weight of everyone's eyes on you, you nodded, your initial anger having dissipated into a mix of regret and awkwardness. You understood that your outburst had been uncharacteristic and uncomfortable with everyone there. With a forced smile, you mumbled an apology.
"Yeah, maybe I do need a little breather. Sorry about that, everyone." You turned away from the table and quickly exited the dining room. Outside, the fresh air greeted you, and you took a moment to collect your thoughts.
As you stood there, lost in thought, you couldn't help but wonder if there was any way to mend the growing rift between you and Jack, or if it was time to accept that things might never be the same again.
You stayed outside and spent the most of the day alone, outside in the pool trying to get a tan. The boys had all been playing pool inside and you were glad alone.
The sun beat down on you as you lounged by the pool, trying to soak in the warmth and forget about the tension from earlier. The sound of laughter from inside the house was a stark contrast to the solitude you sought outside.
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to clear your mind. The cool water of the pool offered a refreshing escape from the heat, and you decided to take a dip to cool off and clear your thoughts.
As you swam in the crystal-clear water, you couldn't help but replay the argument with Jack in your mind. It weighed heavily on your heart, and you wondered if there was a way to make amends and rebuild the bond you had once shared.
"Hey,"
You let out a yelp as you heard Mark's voice and he let out a soft laugh as he walked over to the pool, dipping his legs into the pool.
"Hey," you laughed, pushing a wet strand of hair out of your face. "Sorry, you scared me there."
Mark chuckled, the sound light and soothing. "No worries, didn't mean to sneak up on you. Just thought you could use some company."
You appreciated his gesture and nodded. "Thanks, Mark. It's been definitely been a... day."
He nodded in understanding, his gaze sympathetic. "I could tell. The argument with Jack didn't look fun."
You sighed, the weight of it all still pressing on you. "Yeah, it wasn't. Sorry about him throwing you in the middle of it, I don't know what's going on with him."
He stayed quiet as he listened and nodded. You looked at him, waiting for some kind of response. He looked like he was weighing something in his head. "Well... it seems like he's jealous."
Jealous? You blinked in surprise, not expecting Mark to say that. "Jealous? Why would he be jealous?" You knew why, but it hadn't even seemed like a possibility in your mind.
Mark had a thin-lipped smile as he continued, "I mean why else would be an absolute dick about me spending the night with you?"
You stayed quiet, you had no idea how to deal with this. Of course this would happen to you on what was supposed to be a peaceful lake-house trip.
"Can I ask you a question, Y/N? But you have to be 100% honest with me." Mark's tone seemed serious as he spoke and you felt your heart drop. "Have you and Jack ever hooked up? Or like, dated?"
"No," that was the true answer but it looked like Mark hadn't bought it. "Well, I've always liked him." It felt weird to admit that and Mark's expression looked hurt as you continued. "That's why I stopped talking to him. I realized it would never go anywhere and I was still living in my head, it would've never worked out with me and Jack."
Admitting it out loud hurt more than you expected. You would never work out with Jack, no matter how hard you wanted it to.
"You still like him?"
You weighed your options but as you looked at Mark and everything that could happen, you knew the right answer. "No."
──
"Y/N!"
You heard Trevor's excited shout and you turned around, you felt Trevor embrace you tightly. You let out a laugh as he continued hugging you tightly, it had been a couple months since you'd last seen him.
He was always just as close to you as Jack, he was your true best friend. He had been there for you when Jack wasn't.
"Trevor!" You returned his hug with equal enthusiasm, feeling a surge of warmth and happiness at the sight of your close friend.
He pulled away with a big smile on his face, "Wow, why do you actually look good?" He said with a playful flirty undertone, making you laugh.
"Don't know, maybe it's the lack of Jack." As you turned to look behind him, you locked eyes with another close friend, Alex. He smiled and walked up to you; he was definitely the calm one in the friend-group. He gave you a hug before Trevor continued.
He rolled his eyes, "You still on that? Come on, Y/N."
You chuckled at Trevor's playful teasing, realizing that his presence had indeed lifted your spirits. "I can't help it, Trev. It's like a curse or something."
Alex joined in with a gentle laugh. "Well, we're here now, so you don't have to think about Jack for a while."
With your friends around, the atmosphere lightened even further, and you felt grateful for their presence. It was a chance to forget about the tension with Jack and simply enjoy the reunion with your closest friends.
"Oh shit." Alex mumbled, "I forgot my phone in the car,"
"Oh no worries, I'll come with you," you offered, eager to catch up with Alex and have a moment away from the group.
As you both headed to the car, Alex spoke in a hushed tone, "How have you been, Y/N? I know things have been tough."
You appreciated his concern and gave him a small smile. "I've had my ups and downs, but I'm good now. I'm glad you decided to come to the lake house, I've missed you two."
Alex nodded, his expression thoughtful. "We've missed you too. And I know things have changed with Jack, but we're here to support you no matter what."
As you arrived in the hallway, you had no time to respond as you heard yelling in the garage. You and Alex exchanged confused glances as you tried to listen in.
"What, Jack?! What's the excuse now, she literally said she's liked you forever!" You heard Nicole's voice and you felt your heart drop. She heard you in the pool?
You and Alex exchanged concerned glances as you strained to hear the conversation in the garage. Nicole's voice had a tone of frustration, and it was evident that she was upset about something. The mention of your feelings for Jack made your heart race.
Jack's voice responded, his tone defensive. "Nicole, it's not that simple. Y/N and I have a complicated history, okay?"
Nicole sounded exasperated as she retorted, "Complicated history? Jack, she's moved on. Why can't you?"
Their voices grew louder, and you could feel the strain in their relationship even from a distance. It was clear that your presence had stirred up emotions and issues between them, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt.
As you leaned in closer to the door, it suddenly opened and you and Alex jumped.
The sudden opening of the door startled both you and Alex, and you found yourself face to face with a frustrated-looking Nicole. Her eyes widened in surprise at seeing you eavesdropping on their argument.
"Y/N..." Nicole began, her voice trailing off as he seemed at a loss for words.
You quickly glanced at Alex, who was equally taken aback by the unexpected confrontation.
"I'm so sorry, Nicole, I didn't know that you heard me and I promise you I would never, ever try anything while you were with Jack-"
She cut you off with a forced smile, "I get it. It's not your fault." She sneered at Jack before continuing. "It's not your fault Jack can't get over his childhood crush."
"Nicole, let's not do this here," Jack said, his voice tinged with frustration. He glanced at you and Alex before turning back to her. "We'll talk later, okay?"
"There is no later! I'm done." She yelled back at him, her eyebrows furrowing in utter anger. "You already made your decision, it was either me or her and we all know your choice. I won't be a second choice, Jack. I've been second to her our entire relationship and I just met her, can you imagine how I've felt?"
The raw pain in Nicole's eyes was impossible to ignore, and it was clear that she had reached her breaking point. Her outburst had laid bare the insecurities and frustrations that had been festering beneath the surface, and it left everyone in the room with a heavy sense of unease. You could see the hurt in her eyes, and it was clear that their relationship had reached a breaking point. You couldn't help but feel guilty, was it your fault?
While you knew you weren't responsible for the choices Jack had made in his relationship, it was impossible not to wonder if your presence had somehow worsened the situation. You had never intended to come between them or cause any harm.
You exchanged a glance with Alex, who looked equally uncomfortable with the situation. The unease in the room was palpable, and there were no easy answers to the complex emotions and dynamics at play.
Jack's shoulders slumped, and he looked defeated. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. It was a painful silence, and you could feel the weight of the history and emotions between Jack and Nicole.
Finally, he managed to speak, his voice soft and filled with regret. "I'm so sorry, Nicole. I never meant for any of this to happen-"
Nicole didn't respond. She simply turned and walked away, leaving Jack standing there, his face etched with a complex mix of emotions.
Jack ran a hand through his hair before he quickly pushed past you and Alex to run after Nicole. "Fuck, baby please listen!"
You and Alex exchanged looks before he sighed heavily, "Wow. What the hell did me and Trev miss."
"You have no idea," you sighed as you began walking to his car for the thing you had came in there for.
──
You sat next to Mark as you both dangled your feet in the water, everyone was outside and it finally felt like relaxing trip. It finally felt like the lake house; no drama (for the most part), cool summer air, and all your close friends in one place.
Sitting by the water with Mark, you felt a sense of calm wash over you. The drama from earlier had dissipated, and you were grateful for the opportunity to unwind with your friends. The cool breeze, the soothing sounds of the lake, and the laughter of your friends created a serene atmosphere that allowed you to momentarily forget about the complexities of your relationships.
You turned to Mark and offered a genuine smile. "Thanks for being here today, Mark. It means a lot."
He returned your smile warmly. "Of course, Y/N. I'm here whenever you need someone to talk to or just hang out with."
As the stars began to twinkle in the night sky, you found yourself leaning in closer to Mark. His presence felt comforting and reassuring. You locked eyes with him, and there was a shared understanding between you.
In that moment, you realized that Mark had become more than just a friend. He was someone who had been there for you, who had listened, and who had shown you support when you needed it, something you hadn't experienced from any partner. And perhaps, in the midst of all the chaos, you had found something unexpected: the possibility of a new beginning.
As your faces drew nearer, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in that quiet, starlit moment. It was a moment of choice, a moment where you could let go of the past and embrace the future.
With a gentle, lingering touch, your lips met Mark's, and for that brief, stolen moment, it felt like the world was right where it should be.
Then it felt wrong. You pulled away and you turned your head almost instinctively and there he was. Jack, standing there, watching the scene unfold.
The shock on Jack's face was undeniable, and it was as if time had frozen in that moment. His presence shattered the tranquility that had enveloped you and Mark, leaving an awkward and tense silence in its wake.
Mark pulled away from you slowly, his expression a mix of surprise and uncertainty. You could feel your heart racing, caught between the past and the present, between the familiarity of Jack and the newfound connection with Mark.
Jack scoffed and walked away, leaving your heart shattered; like he always did. As you began to get up, Mark gripped your arm. You looked down at him and found yourself at crossroads.
Mark or Jack? Mark or Jack? Mark: the sweetest boy with the sweetest smile, or Jack: the person you'd loved your entire life.
You knew the answer. Everyone knew the answer. You moved your arm from his grip and got up, leaving him seated in the pool. You ran after Jack and it suddenly hit you. He'll always have this power over you, his beautiful smile always had this effect on you.
It made you nauseous as you tried to find where he was, like you always did. He would always pick someone else and you always had to pick him, that was just how it worked.
You ran after Jack, your heart pounding in your chest. The familiar ache of chasing after someone who always seemed just out of reach gnawed at you. It was a pattern you had repeated countless of times, a dance of longing and rejection that you couldn't seem to break free from no matter how hard you tried.
As you searched for him, you couldn't help but feel a sense of desperation. You knew that choosing Jack meant choosing the same cycle of heartache, but it was a choice you had made so many times before. His smile, his presence, his history with you—it all had a hold on you that was impossible to shake.
Finally, you spotted him by the edge of the lake, his silhouette illuminated by the moonlight. He turned to look at you, his expression a mix of surprise and uncertainty, as if he couldn't believe you had chosen him once again.
You didn't say anything as you approached him. Words felt meaningless in that moment. Instead, you simply reached out and took his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, and with that simple gesture, you made your choice.
It might have been the same old pattern, the same old dance, but it was your choice to make, and for now, it was the one that felt right.
As you looked into his eyes, the same ones you'd adored since day one, you felt deja vu. You felt angry; how could one person have such control over you? In the depths of his eyes, you saw a reflection of your own emotions, a turbulent mix of desire, frustration, and longing. It was a maddening feeling, to be so deeply ensnared by someone who seemed to hold all the power in your relationship.
The moonlight cast a soft glow on both of you as you stood by the lake, hand in hand, the weight of your choice settling in. It was a choice that defied reason and logic, a choice that defied the very patterns you had tried to break free from. But for now, it was your choice, and you would face the consequences, whatever they may be, with Jack by your side.
You felt an unexpected sob ripple from your chest and you ripped your hand from his, covering your mouth with your hand. You closed your eyes and you felt Jack pull you closer, into his chest.
As the sobs wracked your body, you felt Jack's arms around you, offering a comforting embrace. It was a mixture of relief and hurt, the weight of your choice bearing down on you. You had chosen to follow your heart, even if it meant stepping into the same cycle of uncertainty and longing.
Jack held you tightly, his own emotions undoubtedly conflicted, but in that moment, it was a silent understanding between the two of you. The night was still, and the moon illuminated the path you had chosen, as well as the challenges that lay ahead.
"It's okay, shh. I'm... here now, I'm sorry." He mumbled as he planted a kiss on your head.
You felt such anger in your stomach as he said those words so easily. Was it okay? Was he really here, with you? Was he truly sorry. You pushed him away and you saw him fumble back, hurt in his eyes as you fell on to your knees, taking a seat on the cold sand of the lake.
The anger, the hurt, the confusion, it all swirled within you as you sat there on the cold sand, tears streaming down your face. You couldn't make sense of your emotions, and Jack's words, well-intentioned as they might have been, didn't provide the solace you needed.
Jack remained a few steps away, watching you with a pained expression, unsure of how to bridge the gap between you. The silence between you was heavy, filled with unspoken words and unresolved feelings.
"Do you know..." You sniffled, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. You didn't even know where to begin. "I've spent my entire fucking life pining after you. Every single moment has been dedicated to the great Jack fucking Hughes, did you know that?"
Your bitter words felt like a dagger to the heart to the both of you. You continued, "I always choose you. I always fucking choose you!" You screamed out angrily, as Jack flinched. He'd never seen you this angry in his entire life.
"Why do I always choose you? You're like every other guy in the world." Your tears streamed down your face. "But you're special to me," you mumbled as Jack's breathing became heavy with emotion. "You always choose everyone else but me. I never knew why." You were just rambling at this point but you would be lying if you said it didn't feel good.
You looked up at Jack. "I watched you fall for people who didn't see you the way I did, who didn't know you the way I did, and I stood there, invisible, as you gave your heart to them."
Your words cut deep, each one a painful reminder of the years of unrequited love and longing.
"And then," you whispered, your voice barely audible, "when I finally thought it might be my turn to finally be with someone who actually liked me, who wanted me, I choose you again." Your voice cracked as you mentioned Mark.
You wiped away fresh tears, and the pain in your eyes was palpable. "It hurts, Jack. It hurt more than I can put into words. But I still chose you, again."
A sob caught in your throat, and you continued, your words heavy with emotion. "I've cried myself to sleep, wondering why I wasn't good enough for you, why you never saw me the way I saw you. And every time you got hurt, I was right there with you, helping and being there." You paused. "And when I was hurt, where the fuck were you? Probably with some girl who never knew you like I did. Who will never know you like I do."
Jack's eyes were filled with remorse, and you could see the pain in his expression, but you couldn't stop now. You had to let it all out.
"I convinced myself that if I just kept waiting, if I just kept choosing you, someday you'd see me for who I was, you'd choose me. But it never happened, Jack. It never happened, and it broke my heart a little more every day."
Your voice broke again as you sniffled, "I've missed out on so much because of you," you continued, your voice trembling with emotion. "I've given up on amazing opportunities, on people who genuinely cared about me, all because I thought someday you'd choose me too."
Jack took a seat beside you, the weight of your words sinking in. You didn't fight it, you were too tired.
The lake's gentle waves lapped against the shore, providing a soothing backdrop to the turmoil of emotions swirling around both of you. He didn't say anything for a while, the silence between you heavy with unspoken regret.
Finally, he broke the silence, his voice soft and filled with remorse. "I didn't know. I didn't mean to... hurt you."
You turned to look at him, your eyes meeting his. You saw the sincerity in his gaze, but it was accompanied by a sense of helplessness. It was as if he had finally realized the depth of the pain he had caused you.
"I couldn't like you, Y/N." It sounded harsher than it actually was as he continued. "I just couldn't. You were too good, Y/N, you are a sweetheart. I was scared to taint you, and I would've never forgiven myself if I did..."
"Taint me?" You scoffed, pain in your tone. "You tainted me the moment you met me, Jack."
Those words hung in the air as he swallowed, taking your words into consideration. "I'm so sorry, Y/N," he whispered, his voice filled with remorse. "I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted any of this."
You sighed, the anger and frustration slowly giving way to a sense of resignation. It was a complicated situation, and both of you had made mistakes along the way. "I know, Jack. I know you didn't."
In that moment, you both shared a painful understanding of the past and the choices that had brought you to this point. You would always choose him, and he'd always choose them. But as he put his hand on top of yours, your body entire body felt like it was on fire.
As you looked into Jack's eyes, you saw a mixture of emotions - regret, longing, and a hint of hope. It was as if he, too, was wrestling with the undeniable connection that had always existed between you.
"I'm not saying it'll be easy, Y/N," he murmured, his thumb gently tracing circles on the back of your hand. "But maybe... just maybe, we can find a way to make this work."
His words hung in the air, and for the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to entertain the possibility of a future with Jack, a future where you didn't have to choose between him and anyone else.
Maybe all of that pining wasn't for nothing. Maybe in the end, he would have chosen you. But would you choose him? Could you finally resist him?
As you sat there, the gentle breeze ruffling your hair and the quiet waters of the lake before you, you contemplated Jack's words. The years of pining and longing, the heartaches and frustrations, all seemed to converge in this one moment.
Maybe, just maybe, this was the moment where the tides would turn, and you could choose a different path, one that didn't revolve around Jack. But the choice was yours to make, and it wouldn't be easy. You knew the allure of Jack, the history you shared, and the magnetic pull between you two would always be there.
For now, you decided to savor the night, knowing that the future held uncertainties and challenges, but also the potential for something beautiful. As you gazed at the moonlit lake, you couldn't help but wonder what lay ahead and what choices you would make when the time came.
Tumblr media
-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-
thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
2K notes · View notes
kadwrites · 9 months
Text
different yet the same | T.S
Tumblr media
previous part | next part
or check out the series masterlist
summary ; nothing stays the same, but how can you explain that to the people you love?
warnings ; arranged marriage!trope, soft!tommy, reader has a voice kink? idk, typos probably, reader likes starting shit, REALLY slow burn.
a/n ; let me know what you think<3, also keep in mind that my first language is not english <3
-
you felt like you were overheating, his hand was barely even touching your lower back but you could definitely feel it. he led you back to the office, to grab his coat , where he finally stepped away from you.
"ya didn't 'ave to do that" you needed to cut the tension
"do what?" he was putting on his coat
"fire 'er."
he stopped in his place , looking back at you with a raised brow "you'd rather i keep 'er ?"
you really wouldn't "i mean...." you trail off, trying to find the right words
he steps closer, until he's right before you. a little too close maybe "what do ya mean?" his voice is soft and deep.
it really didn't help you , that his voice had that much of an affect on you. "would ya've fired 'er if she spoke this way to anyone else ?"
"like who?"
"i don't know, anyone else." you repeat your words
"but she didn't say that to anyone else" his gaze was so intense, it felt like you couldn't take your own eyes off his "she said it to you"
he then took a step past you before you spoke again "did ya do it because she offended me or was it because it might've hurt your reputation?"
he stops again and sighs when he closes his eyes , he turns "why are ya fightin' me on this?"
"i'm not!" you chuckle "i'm just wonderin'..."
"well stop wonderin' , we got shit to do. let's go" he motions with his hand and heads for the door, you huff and follow him.
but your questions don't stop there. once you're in the car , you're back at it and with more resilience.
"why 'aven't i met your family yet?" you're in the passenger seat, your arms crossed as he drives
"jesus fucking christ" he mumbles, a cigarette hanging from his mouth "what's gotten into ya today , eh?" he glances at you
"what? i'm just trying to make conversation" you try to sound as innocent as you can.
"ya've met polly, 'ave't ya?" he takes a drag of his cigarette, smoke blowing in the air "there ya go, she's family."
"polly doesn't count , i knew 'er as a child. before i knew ya."
"she's my aunt , how does she not count?" his brows furrow and he laughs
"ya've brothers, and a sister, and sisters in law." you're not giving up, "ya've met my family already , why don't ya want me to meet yours?"
"i barely did" he looks at you , then back at the road "they don't exactly like my company now , do they?"
"they're shy!"
he looks at you with a half smile, as if asking you if you're serious "really?"
"come on tommy, i'm serious. how am i going to marry into a family that i don't know?"
"you're not marrying my family are ya? you're marrying me"
"tommy" you click your tongue
"why do ya want to meet them so badly?"
"i just..... i've always wanted to be close to my husband's family when i'd get married."
he sighs , looking back at the road "it'll take time for them to warm up to ya and they're hardly as polite as your lovely family is" he mumbles with a sarcastic tone
"probably" you nod "but i do want to meet them"
"fine, don't say i 'aven't warned ya." he sighs again, "i'll see what i can do"
"mum says that thomas shelby proposed to ya" sarah and amy are in your room, they're celest's daughters.
"mhm" you're still in bed and they're beside you. your sister's children are rascals, just like their mom they, don't knock when they come in, they lay in your bed with you and wake you up whenever they're bored. you're eyes are still closed when you mumble, not that it would stop them from pestering you. you try to hang on to any crumb of sleep you can get.
"can we see the ring?" amy asks , you can hear the smile in her voice.
you raise your hand, wiggling your ring finger. at her.
you tried to keep this whole thing from them, to not let them know what really happened. they're smarter than you think though. after all , sarah is already 14 and amy is 13. they already have an idea, they just never wanted to bring it up.
"oh my god..." amy's voice is filled with excitement and a little bit of disbelief "is this a real diamond?"
"of course it fucking is." you grumble. you turn, so you're laying on your side but facing them now
"are ya happy?" sarah pulls the covers, getting under them next to you
"why wouldn't i be ?" you chuckle sleepily "i'm gonna be fucking rich" you wiggle your brows
they both chuckle with you, but they are still looking at you with a type of look, and you know what it meant.
"mum says that his house is far , that we wouldn't see ya as often." amy mumbles
"your mum is dramatic. of course ya will." you reassured them, but the thing is you didn't even know how life would be after your wedding. "ya're not getting rid of me that easy."
"are ya nervous?"
"a little bit yeah" you shrugs "but it's normal, your mum was nervous too ya know? she'd cry every time she saw me." you say with a snort "and look at 'er, she still comes over every other day."
"but that's different isn't it?" amy dares to ask
"what is different?" you ask softly
"everything is going to be different" she mutters and you can feel your heart crack at that "this wedding is different, you're marrying ... 'im, and moving away, and it'll be different." her voice cracks, and she looks away
"nothing is going to be different amy..." you get up, and scoot next to them "but even if things change i'll still be me, ya'll still 'ave me"
sarah leans her head on your shoulder "i'll miss ya"
you look at her then at amy, "aww , hey now" you hug her, laughing as you kiss her head "i'm not going anywhere," you speak into her hair
-
taglist ; @tardisloverz , @optimisticsandwichgladiator, @theshelbyslimited , @illuminwtesz , @goldensunflowe-r , @gruffle1 , @warrior-of-justice , @mgdixon , @babayaga67 , @goblinjnr , @justaproudslytherpuff , @budugu , @twlegit , @amberpanda99 , @aesthetic0cherryblossom , @capswife , @lets-turn-and-burn , @affabletimelady , @edencherries , @globetrotter28 , @eg-dr3amer3 , @sadroses98 , @aliceindrugland
1K notes · View notes
m4tthewsgf · 3 months
Text
Daddy's girl
Tumblr media
Dad!Matt x fem reader
request: it was basically just dad matt so yeah
author's note: idk what the fuck this is but it's been a while since i've written something so...
---
“Before you get into a relationship with a man, question yourself if you'd like your kids to turn out like him” my mother would always tell me in my teenage years.
Obviously looks matter. Anyone who argues with that hasn't probably grown up. One's beauty is what attracts you, it's the first thing you notice in someone and what intrigues you. However, their personality is what makes you want to be with them. It's the factor that will determine whether or not they are for you.
So, my whole life I've been following my mother's advice. Even though kids weren't in my plans for the foreseen future at the age of 18 or something I was sure I wanted or was going to have someday, I made sure that the possible father of theirs would be a good one.
Someone who valued me and his family, who had ethics and was a respectful, not selfish man. Someone who teach them how to see the beauty in themselves and in life. Someone who would protect them and kill and die for them. Because if you want to be a parent, you should be ready to sacrifice yourself for your children, in my opinion.
And Matt was just that and so much more.
Him and I met 5 years ago and we instantly clicked. Our shared passion for writing, music and reading were the things that we noticed first, but as the days became months and the months became years, we discovered that we were so much alike, and yet so different.
He is such a beautiful person inside and out, and because I instantly saw myself in him, I started to love myself through him. I realised that love was possible for me, too. Because I love him, so I could easily love myself as well.
Matt and I have been married for almost 2 years now and we've been blessed with a baby girl and I am now pregnant with our second one, a baby boy.
The moment I told him I was pregnant still replays in my head. Both times were magical and full of emotion, but when I announced my pregnancy with Lily, our firstborn, was totally different from the second one.
flashback
“We're having a baby?” Matt asked with his mouth open. His expression held both excitement and worry.
“Yeah” I breathed with a shaking voice. We weren't even trying to have children. It was something we've talked about very often, but we were for sure not ready for that big step. Shit, we were only 21!
I was well aware that Matthew was going to be an amazing dad. I feel like there are certain types of people where you can just tell that they're going to be thrilling parents and it was no doubt that he was one of them.
He was a rare man, one that I could only wish I could clone and replace every other man there is with his duplicates. Every woman deserved a man like him. Someone kind and caring, someone patient who valued his lover's dreams and goals.
If anything, I was sure that I have found the father of my children and I wouldn't be prouder if they ended up being just like him.
“We're having a baby!” he beamed and stood up from the couch to enclose me in his arms, swiftly lifting me off the ground and spinning me around. His laughter and my giggles were the only sounds that could be heard.
“Are you okay? How are you feeling? I mean- Holy shit!” Matt stuttered.
“I- I don't know. I am excited and I'd love to be the one to make you a father, but I’m-,” I choked, “I'm scared” I admitted with teary eyes.
“I am scared too,” he whispered and cupped my cheeks, “but I promise you, you'll be the best mom there is. You are so loving and caring, baby, how could you not be? And I'll be right there with you through everything, every silly craving you have I'll make sure to get you, every time you feel sick I'll be there to comfort you and take care of you. We’re in this together, y/n. You're not alone, you have me, my parents, my brothers. We will all make sure you're okay, I'll make sure of it, my love” he reassured me with a warm smile.
End of flashback
Once we told everyone about the new roles they were about to have in their lives, the ones of grandparents and uncles, all of my worries vanished. I knew that pregnancies were a difficult thing and should be treated with a lot of caution, but with Mary Lou by my side who has been through it twice, and once with triplets, I was sure that I was in good hands. And the boys of the family, Matt, Nick, Chris, Jimmy and Justin, all treated me as if I would break in any moment. They wouldn't even let me move my pinky which was kind of funny, if i'm being honest.
The day we found out that it was going to be a girl was one of the happiest I've ever been. Before that, Matt would lay his head on my tummy and whisper sweet nothings to the little human that was been formed inside of it, and he would always mutter the phrase “I hope you're a girl” before drowning my flesh in kisses. Obviously, we would love our child nonetheless. Boy, girl, gay, bisexual, transgender… It didn't matter to us. We just wanted them to be happy and safe. That was our role, we would be their caretakers and our job would be to accept and love them no matter what. However, the both of us daydreamed about having a little girl with big blue eyes and dark hair running around our living room in cute dresses. And in my opinion, Matt was born to be a girl's dad. It just made so much sense.
So here we are now, in our said living room, with my husband and my daughter running around the kitchen table. She indeed got this blue irises and my almond shaped eyes as well as his dark brown locks. She was adorable. She had taken her dad's clumsiness and laugh while her intelligence came from me, thankfully.
Lily is laughing, practically squealing, while her father, who has been turned into a princess, is chasing her. The girl insisted on her daddy’s makeover, saying that he would make a very beautiful princess. So, without any hesitation from his side, she painted his nails a hot pink color, put purple eyeshadow on his eyelids, pink blush on his cheeks and red lipstick on his lips. He looks…ravishing, must I say.
“What about our tea party, huh? Mr. Hopps is waiting for us!” Matt laughs from across table.
“Mommy! Help!” my daughter screams when Matt abruptly shoves himself next to her and scoops her in his arms. I smile fondly at the sight.
“Oh no! You may put down my daughter right now!” I played along, my tone coming across as a harsh one.
“She's mine!” Matt roars as he lays her next to me and starts tickling her. Once he is pleased with his work and the amount of giggles that have fallen from his daughter's lips, he starts to place red kisses along her round cheeks.
“Daddy stop! You have lipstick!” she squeals and manages to get out of his grip.
“What?! You don't want kisses from daddy anymore?!” he asks with disbelief, making Lily laugh harder. She shakes her head playfully at him as she buries her face in the crook of my neck.
“Then maybe mommy wants some kisses?” he looks at me with a smug smile, the same one he gave me years ago when I confessed my feelings for him.
“Oh, such a pretty princess and she wants to kiss me?! I'm honoured” I tease him and he rolls his eyes at me.
“I'll always want kisses from you, my love” Matt says before molding his lips with mine.
“Ew!” I hear Lily gag at the sight, making me giggle in response. She's so innocent.
When Matt pulls away from the kiss, he lifts up my hoodie, revealing my very pregnant tummy, and starts leaving red lipstick marks in its perimeter.
“Matt! It's gonna take forever to take this off!” I push him away.
“I don't care” he mutters before continuing his action.
“My pretty girls” he smiles at my daughter and I, his eyes scanning both of our faces.
“I think you outdid us today, hm?” I smirk at him, my hand coming up to caress his plump lips that are still covered in the red tint.
“Yeah dad! You're so pretty!” Lily beams and places her small hand on her bicep.
“Not prettier than you, angel” he voices softly and places yet another kiss on the top of her head.
"Now come on, dadda! Mr. Hopps is waiting!" she quickly stands up from the couch and tugs on his arm with as much strength as her little body holds.
"Is mommy allowed to come too?" he asks her and looks down at her puppy eyes that make the both of us melt.
"Of course mommy can come!" she cheers and grabs my left hand, her right one holding her father's.
"Oh my gosh, is Mrs. Wiggles gonna be there too?" I ask excitedly as Matt's unoccupied hand moves around my shoulders to support me as I stand up.
"Yeah, you're gonna sit next to her!" she chuckles and imitates her father's actions, placing her small hand in my hip bone for support. She may doesn't have the strength to physically help me out in my condition, but it's acts like this one that make me love her ever more.
601 notes · View notes
Text
I think about Sun and Moon's original versions a LOT, and I don't get why people say they're not expressive!
Or perhaps, I do, and I just wanna ramble. Anyways! Big ol warning for lots of talking, some fursuit gifs and analyzation of body movement.
So, they have flat, immobile faceplates, right? Technically, yes!some argue that this makes them immediately inert and expressionless and opt to enhance their expressions. And this is a-okay! Do what you like!
But as someone who used to be a costumer, and wears a fursuit on occasion,
Tumblr media
(Sorry, I love this gif so much)
BUT! When in a mascot costume, fursuit, or any other costume with a mask over one's face, the performer has to learn how to move in order to portray the emotions necessary for character engagement with the audience! Whether it's exaggerated head bobs, using your hands to talk, or making everything a bit of a spectacle, even the way you tilt your FACE can affect how you look.
Even MUPPETS do this with their limited range of expression. And we can easily draw those conclusions of how the boys were programmed to act in canon!
Take Sun's default animation in the daycare, just standing there.
Tumblr media
It's very obvious here what he's trying to portray, and who his programmed audience is- little children! When costuming around little kids, you wanna use big gestures, and get on their level because you can seem HUGE AND SCARY to them! You wanna get down towards the ground, make big sweeping cartoon motions, and make sure all your movements are ROUNDED- not jabbing, sharp, or sudden- so that the kid isn't ever surprised, but rather delighted by your performance as a costumer. I'll show you an example by the amazing performer, Temba the Bat! (Made by Toxicoon, I believe.)
Tumblr media
Big sweeping motions, slow without being too spooky, and generally friendly motions while swaying the head! Looks kinda similar right?
Another point is, though, these exaggerated motions don't really... turn off when feeling other things. Sun and Moon don't have a customer service mode, and that's WILD to me that their programming requires them to act like this all the time. Exhibit B: Sun's pain in the transformation scene.
Tumblr media
He's making such exaggerated motions and movements to INDICATE he is in pain or holding something back. He's gripping his face like something is trying to come out of it, and even dramatically falls backwards to indicate a loss of control in his body. Whether the way the fall looks so cartoonist was intentionally programmed in, I couldn't tell you.
And then... there's Moon.
Tumblr media
This is SO cartoon villain sequel, isn't it? The hands tapping delicately on the surface, the exaggerated head tilt, all of it is so wildly exaggerated in such a smooth way to let you know "Ah! I'm in danger! Great!"
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And yet... he still is low to the ground. Still in that pose of going after someone SMALL. Performing for someone small. His evilness is almost completely exaggerated and, dare I say, fabricated by his programming. Of course, the virus probably had something to do with it but LIKE! Look at that range of motion!
Idk what the point of all this is, I just wanna say: it's totally understandable to make the boys super duper expressive in the artistic, flat 2d styles i see a lot!
But man I do hope someone draws them biblically accurate while expressing something else because that would be hilarious to see Sun throwing a temper tantrum by banging his fists on the ground and flailing while his face is just
:D
2K notes · View notes
etherealstar-writes · 3 months
Text
I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 4
Tumblr media
pairings: lionesses x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: four
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
elton
how is everyone on this fine evening?
the REAL karate kid
great until you rudely woke me up
from my peaceful nap
stairway
L
the imposter
eh not too bad
but my friend keeps on spamming me
with these tiktok edits
neev
tiktok edits you say 👀
what of?
the imposter
these girls she's kinda obsessed with
and finds them incredibly good-looking
and wants to know who my fav is or
who i find the most good-looking
elton
ooh really?
i wanna know who
let us google em and say our opinions
the REAL karate kid
and which one did you find
the most good-looking?
the imposter
i don't really know who any of them are 😭
but they're playing football in some clips
so i'm guessing they're football players?
elton
oh 😳
stairway
Tumblr media
this will be interesting
earpsy
ah well describe them
so how many were there?
and who was the best looking?
i wanna keep an eye out if they
turn up on my fyp
the imposter
well there were quite a few
there was this one specific blonde
that she continuously spammed me
edits off the most
and i think she was the captain idk?
willybum
i feel like i've seen that blonde before!
i reckon she's everybody's favourite
since she's the most good-looking
stairway
what a big fat lie
elton
as if
the imposter
eh, everyone's fav?
i mean i see where people are coming
from but that's kinda stretching it ...
there are so many more players
that seem to be just as great if not better
the REAL karate kid
see
thank you
you get it
just like everyone else
someone just needs to knock
some sense into leah
and i'll gladly do it rn
BACK TF UP 🤺
lotte
who is your favourite player tho, y/n?
neev
i'd love to know too
stairway
come on, that's easy
it's gotta be stanway
right?
the REAL karate kid
y/n, my love
it's russo isn't it
elton
hey hey hey
we forgetting toone too
the REAL karate kid
shush
the imposter
um i'm still uncultured okay 😭
i don't know any of their names yet
oh but i do know one of their names
i think she's pretty cool
neev
ooh do tell who this lucky person is
that you find pretty cool
the imposter
it's lucy bronze
willybum
NAHHH
SHUT UP
stairway
NOT THAT OLD RUSTY GRANDMA 😭
OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE SHE COULD PICK
rusty metal
OI
who you calling an old rusty grandma?
stairway
YOU
WHO ELSE
rusty metal
i'm very delighted that
she is your favourite y/n
she's mine too <33
earpsy
LMAO 💀
just so you know y/n
you've broken a lot of hearts today
the REAL karate kid
lemme just go and find the nearest cliff
and fling myself off of it
stairway
i'm joining you
willybum
count me in too
the imposter
IM SORRY 😭
ALL THE LIONESSES SEEM AMAZING OKAY
I JUST ONLY KNOW ABOUT HER YET
elton
nah
you've made your choice
the imposter
YOU GUYS
it's really not that big of a deal
you all are acting like i've
personally rejected you guys
lotte
this whole thing was so funny to read omg
meado
honestly
top tier entertainment
made my day
thank you y/n
the imposter
you're welcome ...?
part five here
504 notes · View notes