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atalentedwriter · 1 year

Text

— love is a million things

paring: e-1610!miles x blackfemspidey!reader (both spider people)

a/n: i don't speak spanish i'm sorry but i used the most accurate translator i could find. if i made ANY mistakes, feel free to hmu and tell me i will certainly change em. gif from @luvjunie

sypnosis: in which the reader is in love with miles but there's really no way of winning if in his eyes, you'll always be just a friend (he loves gwen not you) (ノへ￣、)

wordcount: 1,870 words and 9,904 characters

genre: fluff, teenagers, romance, unrequited love, angst, slightly suggestive but not really

translations: "no lo parece" - "doesn't seem like it." "dime ya las pistas." - "just tell me the hints already. "dime otra pista." - "tell me another hint."

"I'm just saying, love is a million things. Sometimes it feels good, sometimes it doesn't." You say as you sit on Miles' bed, the male looking at you from his desk, turning around in his chair and shrugging you off.

"Yeah right, and have you ever experienced love to know what that feels like?" Miles asked and you paused, hesitant with your response before you bite your lower lip and nod.

"I'd like to think I have, yes." You say, looking down at your feet and then up at Miles who looked at you intently. Wow, he had really beautiful eyes.

"Oh yeah? And did it feel good or bad?" He questions as a small frown forms on your lips. "Sometimes...a lot of times..it...- it differs okay, it differs but that's besides my point-" you say and he laughs, your heart fluttering at the sound, despite knowing him since the first day he walked into Brooklyn Visions, his laugh and voice just did something to you.

"How'd that end out for you? The guy didn't like you back or what?" He says, turning around to his desk as you grab his pillow and hold it up to your stomach. How are you gonna describe him to him without him figuring it out?

"Well, let's just say, there was 3 of us in the situationship.." you start off and you notice his ears perk up. "Oh?" He asks. You roll your eyes. "Not in that way silly, it wasn't poly or anything it was more of an unrequited love situation."

He picks up his sketchbook and turns back to you. "That must suck." He said, looking up at you. "It did.." "How did you get over it." You frown. "I didn't, it's hard to stop loving someone when everything they do makes you fall back in love with them."

He laughed again and shook his head. "That's so corny." He rolled his chair over to where you sat on the bed and open his sketchbook, placing it in your lap.

"Another drawing...of Gwen..." you seethe.

"Yup, I really think I got her suit down but I'm just relying on memory here." He says as you bite your cheek. "I mean I'd like to think she still kept her hair, I mean it's a bit weird to walk around with someone's handprint in your head- gosh I still get ptsd from that da-"

"Why do you bother liking her?" You blurt out.

uh-oh. word vomit.

"What?" Miles asks, taken aback as he looks at you.

"I mean, she's in a completely different universe Miles, it's never gonna happen." You say, your words coming out a bit ruder than you had wanted it to.

He frowns and looks at you. "Well damn (y/n), sorry. I can't control what I feel." Miles said as he picks up his notebook from your lap and rolls away back to his desk, his eyebrows furrowed and a frown on his face.

"oh my gosh.." You mutter out, running your hand over your face before you look up at him. "Miles I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean it like?" Miles asks, not bothering to look at you.

"I just- don't want to see you get hurt. You're my best friend okay and...I care a lot about your feelings and...-"

"No lo parece." He grumbled under his breath, and thanks to your enhanced senses, you picked it up.

"Excuse me?" You say, as a hothead, you were already getting defensive but you sighed and unballed your fists. That's why you liked Miles, why you needed him around, he calmed you down without you both even knowing it. "It's just....sigh..interdimensional love never works out, I've seen it in the movies-"

"Pfft-"

The small muffled laughter catches your attention. "What?" You question as you look up to see Miles staring at you, hand over his mouth. "Are you laughing at me? I'm pouring my heart out to you man."

"Sorry, I just can't take you seriously everytime you talk about movies like that one time we got stuck in that elevator-" he starts.

"I thought we were gonna run out of air!" You counter, whining as he starts laughing at you. And just like that, you were back to your regular state, neither of you guys can be mad at each other for long.

You stayed silent for a few seconds before you look up at him to find the boy already staring at you and it sends butterflies down your stomach. "Hey Miles..?"

"Hm?" He hums, rolling his chair to get closer to you until he was sitting right next to the edge of the bed where you currently were.

"Um, what would you do if you loved someone- in this dimension-"

"Ouch.." the boy playfully said and you rolled your eyes.

"But they loved someone else.." you finish.

"First of all love is a very strong word." Miles starts off and narrows his eyes at you, causing you to straighten your back at his gaze.

"Well in this context it's accurate, like I'd do crazy things for this man...like a lot-" you start, and Miles rolls his eyes.

"I don't need to know what you'd do twin." Miles jokes as you smile before he crosses his arms. "Does the guy know you like him?"

You look at Miles and shake your head. "No."

"Have you given him hints you like him?" Miles raises an eyebrow and you bite your lip.

"What kind of hints?"

"Touching."

"Define that, cause we're touching right now." You motion to how his arm that was on his knee was barely grazing your leg. He looked down and then looked up before breaking out into a grin.

"If that's your definition of touching then you're super touch starved." Miles laughed as you sigh.

"Dime ya las pistas." You say, agitated.

"Okay okay, so touching, just subtle touches...like...this." Miles looks down and moves his hand and places it on your lap, using his thumb to work on rubbing small circles on your inner thigh, rubbing his hand slowly but subtly on your lap before looking up and smiling at you. He was flashing that oh-so-beautiful smile at you.

The fact that you were wearing shorts made it easier to feel his warm skin on yours. The sparks that this simple movement sent coursing through you made you wonder if he was using his zap on you.

"See, you're blushing." He says, cooing at you jokingly.

"Am not!" You counter as you snap out of your trance, looking at him. Had it not been for the melanin on your face right now, you would've been red like a tomato. Lord, this man knew just how to touch and rub your skin. (pause, what are you thinking about? 🤨) Your cheeks were hot.

"Or like this." He moved his hand from your lap and you almost whined at the absence of his hand on you but then he moved his hand to your arm, caressing it softly.

Your eyes followed his hands, almost in a trance-like state before you look back up at the boy.

"Now that's just one tactic.." he said as he started talking but you couldn't hear a damn word.

His beautiful face so close to your skin and the fact that he still hadn't stopped caressing your arm, ugh. You hated this, he was so lovable, it was hard to just let go of these feelings especially since this man never gave you an ick! His dorky nature fit him and was cute on him and his teenage awkwardness was even more adorable. And he's so attractive when he's spiderman- hold up, what was he saying again?

"...kiss me." He spoke out, ending his sentence.

"What?!" You say, shocked, where you daydreaming or something?

"What?" He asked as he raised an eyebrow. "Were you even listening to what I was saying?"

"Somethin' kissin' or somethin' i don't know.." You mutter out as he laughs.

"You're unbelievable. I meant you have to be bold with your actions but not too bold and you have word vomits a lot so don't just like tell him to kiss you or something like that." He said as it dawned on you.

"Oh, that made much more sense."

He bit his lip and smiled causing your eyes to flicker down to his lips that looked just too kissable. Damn. You looked back up to find him already looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face, just now realizing how close he was.

"What..?" You say, your voice coming out breathless. He looked down, shaking his head before looking up at you with a smile, your eyes meeting.

"...You're like...the weirdest girl I've ever met." He spoke out which caused you to put your hands on his chest and push him back.

"Whatever!" You say, snapping out of the trance he had pulled you into once again.

He chuckled and moved back but only momentarily before leaning back in again, confusing you. He put both arms at the side of you, resting it on the bed as he leaned in closer.

You thought he was going to kiss you, it looked like it and so you tensed up unknowingly to which the boy raised an eyebrow, cracking another one of his contagious smiles.

"Relax, I'm just getting my markers." He moves up his right hand to show the markers he already had in his grip, he was just leaning in for them, you felt stupid. "I'm not gonna hit you or anything." He says, leaning back into his chair as you sighed.

"Dime otra pista." You say. You can't belive Miles was teaching you how to rizz him up.

"Well another one would be like teasing or like going out of your way to talk to them and eye contact is a big one." Miles concluded, resting his leg horizontally on his other one.

A few moments of comfortable silence passed with Miles looking at you and you just looking at your lap.

"Miles...?" You asked as he hummed again in response. "Do you ever plan on leaving Brooklyn? And have you ever thought about what would happen if you do? Like with spiderman and stuff?" You ask as he takes a moment to consider your question.

"Well.." He pauses. "I'm not sure, I do know I want to study outside Brooklyn for university that's for sure, I mean there's people out there that can-"

"Teach me stuff I want to know." You finish his sentence for him and he pauses and looks at you.

"Freaky." He says with a grin as you giggle. "But it'll all fall into place, I'm sure, I don't want to worry about the future too much yknow?"

"Yeah.." you mutter and look at him again.

"What about you?" He asks, tilting his head to the side.

"I'll go wherever you go Miles.." You reply subconsciously as you smile at him.

"Okay you've gotta get better life goals for yourself." Miles jokes as you two fall into a heap of giggles, leaving you with a new-found goal already.

You were going to confess to this man.

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oh-archivist · 1 month

Note

What did your natural hair look like before hair loss and what does it look like now?

Howdy!

These two are when I shaved it and grew it out for about a 2 years

I was 2.5 years on T ish!

Then in 2017-2019 I started noticing a lot of my hair falling out in the shower, I didn't think anything of it since my sister also loses a lot of hair in the shower. But that was definitely me experiencing hair loss through testosterone. I should have started finasteride and rogaine then 🤷 That doesn't cure hair loss but it slows down the process.

Below are two photos of me in 2018 having a rough time of it and feeling very self conscious about my thinning hair

Fast forward to 2022 and I did my mohawk and dyed hair a lot because It kind of better disguises the fact that you have/ thinning/ balding happening

And currently? I have a shaved head! Cause a character I cosplay frequently has a majority of his head shaved as well I wear wigs most of the time!

Here are some recent photos of natural hair and my main wig 💪

In the end, it took me so long to accept the fact I lost a HUGE part of me. I wasn't aware that the hair loss genetic was on your mother's father and not my own. My dad and his mom have thick hair. But my mother and her father have VERY THIN hair. 🤷

In the end, I love wearing wigs! I can have a new hair style/color pretty quickly at a relatively affordable price depending on the wig I pick! I know how to cut them and dye them since I did my own hair for over a decade. I was self conscious no one would find me attractive with a shaved head or after finding out I wear wigs, but literally, since this part of my life has started, no one gives a shit. They're like oh? Cool!

My confidence is back after being lost for all those years and it shows. And it speaks volumes if someone wants to get to know me, and then upon finding out that it's not my natural hair, they don't want to talk to me any longer, I do not need those types of individuals in my life.

Anyways, if you want some advice or any more questions, hmu.

I also have experience with hair pieces! I did then for a year and a half total. They are EXPENSIVE but can be worth it for the right person.

#ask fox

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hopelessdelusional · 1 year

Text

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷bad for business

‧₊˚♡pairing: bakugou x singer! reader

‧₊˚♡tw: slight mention of injury in the beginning, but that’s abt it

‧₊˚♡word count: 4K

‧₊˚♡a/n: Literally got a dream after i read this prompt, went insane, and then basically wrote a whole book…so it’s safe to say im obsessed

‧₊˚♡masterlist

inbox is open so hmu!!

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ─ ✩ ─⋅ ⋅ ──╮

Bakugou Katsuki is a hero.

He is a Pro Hero, number 2 to be in fact (damn Deku). He has made a living fighting battles and saving lives, jumping off roofs and flying in the sky. He is a real life super hero, putting his life in danger. Every morning he wakes up has to prepare himself for the things he may see that day. The blood he might shed, and the people he may not be able to save. He has learned to be fearless, never finding himself nervous when jumping into the fight.

And yet, he’s never felt more terrified right now.

He met you three years ago, after quite literally crashing right into the very studio you record your music. He was battling a woman who had the ability to make and control giant vines, and apparently are explosive-proof. Todoroki almost hit him with a blast of his shitty ice, making him turn to his so called “partner” and cuss him out. However, that gave the villain the chance to grab him, and send him flying.

Bakugou soon found himself miles away from the fight, as he had to use his quirk in order not to fall to his death. But as many know, his quirk is sporadic.

That is how he crash landed into your studio.

It hurt like hell sure, but when he opened his eyes and saw you standing over him with nothing but concern in your eyes, he instantly forgot the many injuries he gained. You were breathtaking, and not like anyone he had ever interacted with. You immediately made the terrified people in the studio help him up and you found the nearest first aid kit and fixed him up as best as you could before an ambulance came.

He was dazed, but you were so kind and made small talk. Bakugou had always been one to hate any type of small talk, but he loved every word that left your mouth. You were newly moved to Japan, some sort of opportunity came to you that you couldn’t turn down (Bakugou was severely concussed so a lot of what you said was a blur).

Bakugou does remember Mina and Kaminari mentioning you, playing your music whenever he came to either of their houses. You had such a unique voice, a bit raspy that caught the attention of millions of people. Surprisingly, also caught the attention to Bakugou, as he would play it during the rare nights when he’d be cooking alone in his kitchen. Your story telling was incredible, your lyrics were anything but bland. Making music about the bad and good exes you’ve had, your friends and family, your past, and even wrote songs about random characters your beautiful mind came up with. You always made sure to use all sorts of instruments, and the notes that you compacted into your songs never ceased to amaze Bakugou’s standards.

Now he was here, sitting on a table asking you all sorts of questions about you. Maybe it was the concussion, or maybe it was just your personality but Bakugou began to get addicted to you, never wanting you to stop talking.

“Here.”

You turned away from him, your hand leaving his knee instantly making him already miss the warmth of you as you shuffled through your bag.

He watched you with curiosity (and took the chance to shamelessly check out your ass) before you turned around with a newfound grin on your face. You were holding a pen, and he cocked an eyebrow at you, not understanding the excitement of this pen in your perfect hand. You walked back over to him, your perfume becoming addicting to him, and you gently grabbed his hand. You were making intense eye contact with him, and Bakugou suddenly felt…nervous? You smiled at the blush that rose on the hero’s face, before you clicked the pen and began to write something on his wrist.

Bakugou watched, feeling somewhat like a child, and once you finished and allowed him to look. He was pleasantly surprised to see your number on his arm.

His head instantly shot up, almost not believing this was happening.

“If I text this and it’s a scam, I’m gonna hunt you down.”

His gruff voice didn’t match the face he was making at you, and you threw your head back and laughed.

Once you caught your breath, you smiled at him, making him blush even more (he didn’t even know that was possible!).

“As fun as that would be, I promise that is in fact my home number. I would never trick my favorite pro hero like that.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw two paramedics walking through the door, ready to help him out of there. However, he chose to ignore them and smirk at you instead.

“Favorite eh?”

You giggled, still holding his hand.

“Don’t get too cocky mister, or else I’ll write a mean song about you.”

His grin widened, using his other hand to lead your hand to his lips. He gently kissed it, hating how chapped his lips were, but the blush that quickly appeared on your cute cheeks made it worth it.

“I’d rather the song have another meaning.”

The two of you held eye contact, and he soaked up every second of it not ever wanting to forget what color you eyes were.

You smiled at him before you turned to the paramedics that began to replace your presence. They helped him up, and walked him over to the bed that was rolled in by another paramedic. Once he was comfortable (as comfortable as someone with many broken ribs and a concussion could be) he looked back up at you. Bakugou was annoyed to see one of the paramedics talking nervously to you, asking for an autograph. However, the jealously slowly turned into admiration as he watched you beam at the man as you excitedly signed the crinkled piece of paper he had in his pocket.

“My daughter just adores your music, she started learning guitar because of you actually! It’s truly incredible watching her play, just makes me so proud of her.”

Your lip was pouted, as you stood listening to his words. You looked so genuine, so happy that he was telling you this. Bakugou could tell this means the world to you, watching you enthusiastically hugged him. The two of you quickly made your goodbyes, and you immediately turned to look his way. Bakugou would have been embarrassed that he was caught looking at you if you hadn’t beamed at him like that. You jogged over to him, making him chuckle how eager you were to be back in his presence. Bakugou instantly grabbed your empty hand again, not a single ounce of shame for how “down bad” he was acting.

“Talk to you later?”

Your voice couldn’t have been any louder than a whisper, making sure he knew these were words only for him to hear. Bakugou grinned, giving your hand a squeeze.

“Of course.”

Instead of one of your flashing smiles, your whole face softened and a small smile appeared on your face.

“In the meantime then, I’ll definitely be writing a song.”

That’s when Bakugou realized there was no coming back from you. He was officially obsessed, never wanting anything more than your hand in his.

Unfortunately for him, the two of you were rudely interrupted by the dumbass that got him here in the first place (not that Bakugou is complaining). Todoroki loudly coughed, making you jump and him scowl.

“I see you’re in good-“ his heterochromia eyes looked down at Bakugou and your interlocked hands, and then looked back up at Bakugou with a smirk.

“Good hands?”

Yeah, Bakugou definitely got teased for the rest of the day, and soon the rest of the week by all the people half-and-half told. But honestly? Bakugou couldn’t give two shits when had you texting him all day.

Besides, they were just jealous.

Kaminari and Mina especially lost their shit, begging for him to tell them all about you, even asking for your number. Obviously, Bakugou kindly told them to stop asking (he told them to fuck off and mind their fucking business) and soon enough the two of you began dating.

It was so easy being with someone like you. The two of you worked so well together, and you already understood the pressure of paparazzi constantly swarming you like hawks. Crazily enough, the reveal of you guys dating didn’t release until after your one year. Of course there were plenty of news articles and random fans on the internet who speculated it, but you interacted with enough people for your fans to also say you were dating them as well. Besides, the idea of you, an international singer/songwriter dating the number two hero in the world was not something that people could believe easily. But it was the truth, and people everywhere went crazy when you posted a picture of the two of you.

It was the picture of Bakugou picking you up by the waist in his kitchen. You were wearing his shirt and some random sweats because you had just gotten home from a concert the night before. Ochako was the one able to capture this beautiful moment of the couple. You had been teasing him for being able to cook but not bake, and he had enough of your jokes and simply picked you right off your feet. In the picture the both of you were smiling widely, especially Bakugou. When you posted the picture, fans analyzed the picture like crazy.

Bakugou knew he wasn’t the most well liked Pro-Hero, but the amount of people who tried to make a video showing the picture and claiming it was “obvious” that he was abusing you was a little annoying. You always reassured the blond when you caught him watching those videos, turning off his phone and climbing in his lap. His hands happily making his way on your waist as you ran your fingers through his hair while the other hand held his face gently. His eyes would close and you would whisper sweet nothings in his ear, praising him for anything and everything, sometimes even singing the songs you wrote for him.

Bakugou still remembers when the two of you were almost a year into the relationship (ten months and 6 days to be exact) and in the mist of him casually scrolling on TikTok a video of you performing at your concert popped up. He was certainly surprised to see videos already posted, since the concert had quite literally just ended. Obviously he watched the video, adoring how you talked to your fans.

“Now children, calm down so I can talk. I am not gonna talk over your borderline screaming, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna be able to sing after this if I talk like that.”

Bakugou snickered. He always loved when you were sassy and continued to watch.

“So whilst on tour, I’ve had a song stuck in my head,” the crowd went wild, probably thinking you were going to play one of your songs called “stuck in my head.” Your face lit up in realization, and you laughed at the mistake you made.

“Oh my poor babies, I’m so sorry but I am not playing that song.”

You gave your crowd an apologetic smile as they booed you. Bakugou’s eyebrows furrowed, upset as to why you were being booed, but continued to watch nonetheless.

“Oh my gosh get over yourself,” you rolled your eye waiting for the crowd to settle down before starting up again.

“I had like, this chorus just repeating itself over and over again. It was so annoying y’all! I felt like I was going crazy! And what made it even more annoying is that I couldn’t go to my safe place and sit down and write it cus-“

You gestured to your surroundings.

“-I’m on tour.”

The crowd went wild for longer than Bakugou liked, but you let them get it out, shaking your head like you were disappointed but the smile gave you away.

“Instead I had to settle with my oh so very empty tour bus bed, and write the song there. It was literally like, what? 3AM? And I was sitting on that bed with my guitar, notebook, and my laptop. I’m so glad I wasn’t sharing or like in a hotel because I was up until 5…”

You bent over to laugh, and the audience as well. Meanwhile, your now very grumpy boyfriend was about to close the app and text you not to do shit like that. You put on full fledge concerts for crying out loud! You should not be staying up that late just to write a goddamn song.

“And that was last night.”

The concert booed as Bakugou’s patience started to thin. What the hell were you thinking? You even texted him goodnight at like 2! Rest is very important and you need to-

“But I’m glad that I did, because I think this is my new favorite song. And I just can’t wait anymore, so is it okay if I play it for you guys?”

The crowd literally went feral. The person recording was screaming along with every goddamn person at that place. Bakugou was now fully sitting up in his bed, eager to listen to this song. He was a little hurt, he will admit. You always send him a video of the many songs that you write sporadically on this tour, and you’ve written a lot. So why didn’t you do the same thing here? What was so different about this song that he couldn’t be the first to hear it like usual?

“That sounds like a yes,” you reached for one of the many necklaces you were wearing and pulled out a very thin necklace with a familiar pendant. Bakugou immediately recognized it, as it was the one he got for you on your six month anniversary. It was one of the petals of a rose that you saved from your first date. He had it dried and put into a charm of a necklace when he noticed you getting upset that you couldn’t keep the flowers he got you. When he gave it to you, tears were falling down your face as he kissed you. That’s when he swore to himself that if he met any of your exes he wouldn’t leave without giving them a brand new scar.

You pulled it out and kissed it gently, before whispering into it.

“This is for you baby.”

Bakugou’s eyes widened, the crowd losing their minds and you started playing guitar. The two of you would make the smallest hints that you were in a relationship, but never as bold as this. Not that he was complaining.

Secretly he had been wanting to let the public know that you were dating, he wanted everyone to know you were his and he was yours. He was honestly sick of seeing people “ship” him with extras and he especially hated when the same happened to you.

He’s good for my heart but he’s bad for business

Tears me apart when he grants my wishes

All of my friends think I’ve gone crazy

But they don’t know me like my baby~

Bakugou remembers that moment like it was yesterday. His face instantly blossomed a bright blush, and his lips formed a soft smile. The crowd finally settled down after the beginning and he was able to listen to the song, closing his eyes pretending like he was there in the audience. He put the phone up to his ear and laid back down, soaking up every word and every note.

He’s good

It’s bad

The best I’ve ever had

And he’s so nice

It’s sad

He ruined all my plans

And he just makes me so crazy

I know everyone sees

He’ll be the death of me

That’s how he got here, standing in a special area in your sold out venue wearing your newest merch.

And Bakugou Katsuki was terrified.

 This was the first time he had come to see your concert, because last time you toured it was when your relationship was a secret. Now, he sat nervously in his chair, his colleagues on either side of him. You had given all of them tickets, making sure they had the best seats in the house but also allowed them to not be disturbed by fans.

Bakugou was bouncing his leg, picking at his fingernails as he watched the crowd. It seemed that nobody knew they were there, everyone waiting in anticipation of your show. Your music was so diverse, everyone knew that it would contain all sorts of emotions and energies. You were the type of performer who liked to be as close to the audience as possible, you loved adding commentary to your songs during the pauses, making faces, and dancing around. You loved to have fun, and let loose. When you got the green light to plan the tour, you were practically bouncing off the walls of your now shared home. You spent three months planning it, which was a new record for you, before announcing. However, there was just one thing that Bakugou didn’t like about the tour.

He knew absolutely nothing about it. In fact, you made sure of it. Hiding your notebook, changing your laptop’s password, making sure your manager didn’t tell him shit about it. That’s why he was terrified. His partner, his very famous singer/songwriter of a soulmate was about to do the very first night of the tour in Japan and Bakugou didn’t know a thing.

That’s why Bakugou Katsuki was terrified.

Soon enough, the lights began to dim, and people started to stand up. A hush fell over the crowd as the venue blacked out, and the wrist bands on everyone’s wrists lit up.

“Holy shit it’s happening.” Kaminari whispered to Bakugou, grin spreading across his face.

Ochako, Kaminari, and Mina happily took the evening off to see you, while the rest of your invites weren’t able to. Kirishima made Bakugou promise at least one photo of the two of them after the show.

A soft hum came out of the speakers, and suddenly a spotlight appeared to reveal you standing at the very far back of the stage. The crowd went insane, and you walked down the stage.

When it came to your outfits, you always had to keep it comfortable. You loved to jump around dancing, sometimes fall to your knees dramatically. You especially loved to squat. Jumping around in that position and when you stood up you always made sure to flaunt the ass that you worked very hard on in the gym.

You came out strutting down the stage in very baggy and flowy black pants and a very cropped black long sleeve sweater that allowed you to show off the lace bra that went down to your belly button. But that wasn’t where it stopped, nor was it the best part of your outfit. To Bakugou’s surprise you were wearing boots with an obnoxiously thick heel, that were very obviously Dynamite themed.

Bakugou smirked at the sight, taking in the rest of the little details of your outfit. You wore a giant ring on your index finger that was also Dynamite inspired, as a fan gave it to you, and Bakugou could see his initials sewn into the bottom of your sweater.

You stopped at the end of the runway, pulling the microphone away from your face in a dramatic motion. You slowly looked around, taking in your crowd. A smile spread across your face, and when your gaze looked straight forward to look for Bakugou, he made sure to make little sparks from his hands to let you know he was right here. You pointed at him with the finger that had the Dynamite ring on it, and Bakugou honestly felt like it was just you and him in the stadium. You mouthed an ‘I love you’ at him, and Bakugou was now ignoring the new roar from the audience.

“You guys should get married already.” Mina whispered in Bakugou’s ear, and instead of blowing her face up, he just smiled, still looking in your direction.

“I plan on it.”

The first song you sang was one of your oldest ones, which also happened to be a much slower and sadder song. Instead of listening to the grim lyrics (not because they were bad, just because Bakugou hated to remember how bad some of your relationships were and didn’t want to get angry) the hero closed his eyes and listened to your voice. He wanted to take in his environment and all the notes you sang. The song started to drift off midway, which confused Bakugou. His eyes suddenly snapped open when he heard your newest song, which was much more upbeat. He watched you jump in the air and sing the song with much more passion than the original version. The crowd recovered quickly from the switch up and was singing along happily.

You sang a couple more of your newer and upbeat songs, making sure to add new notes to them and even belt a couple of notes to get the crowd excited. You were having so much fun, and Bakugou had never seen you look more alive. This is where you belonged, and he wanted to be right here every time watching.

There was a pause for you to sit down at the edge of the runway. You sat criss-cross, and much closer to the audience for Bakugou’s liking. He always got nervous when you reached out for a fan’s hand, scared that they would do something that could hurt you.

Thankfully, that hadn’t ever happened, and you sat very cutely waiting for the audience to quiet down so you could speak.

“Wow. We’re halfway through already? Well, I think we all know what that means…”

You cocked your head to the side, and a soft piano started to play a familiar rhythm.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between, get out your tissues. It is now time to remember why you are no longer dating your ex, and for you to be reminded that your trauma isn’t just a thing that makes you funny.”

The crowd screamed, but almost immediately stopped when you began to sing in a much softer and lower register than before. As depressing as these songs may be, Bakugou firmly believes that these types of songs bring out the best in your voice. It allows you to challenge your breath control, and truly sing with so much passion and emotion.

A couple of songs pass, and Bakugou finds you when the stage gets lit up again. You’re in the middle of the runway, standing with your head down waiting for the band to begin. As soon as the piano starts, the crowd screams and yells. This is one of your all-time most popular songs, it was the one that caught a lot of people’s attention and boosted your popularity. Funnily enough, you actually hated this song because you wrote it in high school, so Bakugou was surprised to see you preform it.

“Is this Sick of Losing Soulmates?” Ochako yelled, because of the screaming of your audience.

Bakugou turned to her and confirmed her suspicions, making Mina and Kaminari start screaming along with the audience (as they were doing the entire time).

Bakugou watched as you began to sing, and noticed how you really got into it. You added a lot more dramatic pauses before certain lines, and even speaking some of the lyrics, making it feel more like anger than sadness.

Yeah, I’m sick of losing soulmates

Won’t be alone again

I can finally see you’re as fucked up as me

So how do we begin?

At one point, you laid down on your back, reaching for the sky as you sang your heart out, and Bakugou noticed you choking up a bit at certain lyrics.

We will grow old as friends

I've promised that before, so what's one more in our grey-haired circle, waiting for the end?

Time and hearts will wear us thin

So which path will you take, 'cause we both know a break does exactly what it says on the tin

The song soon ends, and your last pose has you on your knees, head looking down at the floor. The stadium goes pitch dark, including the wrist bands, before they light up again along with your stage. Bakugou sees you wipe a tear off your cheek, and you sit there once more taking in your fans that take the chance to start chanting your name. You put your lips together, closing your eyes and putting your hands on your heart. Your eyebrows are furrowed and Bakugou can tell you’re still crying. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to go to you and hold you, wiping away your tears and replacing them with tender kisses.

You open your eyes, putting the mic back to your mouth and the audience quiets down in order to let you speak.

“Oh boy, I am so overwhelmed by emotions. I mean that was the song that started it all right?”

The crowd was still practically silent, as you’ve trained them well. You get off your knees and get into a more comfortable sitting position (criss-cross of course) and continue.

“I used to absolutely loath that song, because I wrote that when I was at my lowest. I was so sick and tired of love, having to try again over and over again. Every relationship that ended seem to break a piece of me off, and I was honestly starting to give up.”

You let out a broken chuckle, putting your free hand over your eyes momentarily before starting again.

“But then I met Katsuki, in which he literally crashed into my life.”

The crowd stayed silent, but Bakugou could tell they wanted to start screaming. You were not looking at him, and to his surprise Bakugou felt a tear run down his cheek.

“Three years of paradise. I’ve always had a fear of losing you, but it especially hits when I sing songs like that.”

There was a pause, and suddenly Bakugou felt like he was back in that studio where he met you. Staring at you and falling in love all over again.

“I love you baby, forever and always.”

Bakugou smiled, and all that fear that was with him before left. You were his and he was yours, and that’s all that he needed.

“I love you too,” he whispered, and you knew.

Bakugou Katsuki was no longer terrified.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ─ ✩ ─⋅ ⋅ ──╯

none of the songs quoted are not mine!!! the first one is “Bad for Business” by Sabrina Carpenter, and the second one is “Sick of Losing Soulmates” by dodie

i hope you enjoyed bc boy oh boy i did

literally took me 4 hours to write but i couldn’t pull myself away from the keyboard

i rlly need to start writing other characters for x readers but oh well

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugou katsuki x reader #singer! reader x bakugou katsuki #sobbing #my hero academia #mha #whew #this one is a biggin #definitely got a little too into it #but oh well #i couldn’t get this out of my head so #love love love

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problematicfactive · 1 year

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New intro Post

New intro post! How exciting! This is my celebration for reaching 25 followers so fast! Thank you all for your overwhelming support in this journey, it really has been a lot.

If you're new here, my boyfriend and I are both introjected from extremely problematic medias revolving around a very bad person that lived in real life. We are both from fictional medias, bit the person of which we introjected is very much real, and We've gotten a LOT of shit for it.

Spaces that claim to be safe spaces for systems-- or God forbid, safe spaces for *problematic* introjects and alters, tend to be rude or spiteful towards individuals who are factives from problematic sources.

I firmly believe this hateful stance comes from a place of not understanding, so I've created this blog to give people who don't understand a chance to talk and speak to us without losing their cool as we also stay anonymous on this blog. They're always nice until they find out who you are /hj . Since it's creation, the blog has since turned into a big place for problematic factives to just feel safe and seen. I'm beyond happy about this, and glad my blog can serve both purposes. More under the cut!

We post a lot of everything!

We answer asks from people who have questions about us or about being problematic factives, we make positivity posts for problematic factives, problematic factive culture is... posts, and lots of other things you could think of. Feel free to vent in our askbox or message us for a chat! We'd love to have a friend.

Some things off the top of my head that I can't do on this blog (but if you end up making a blog for these things and need a mod, totally hmu!)

Stimboards/Moodboards etc. - I would literally love to do these but the problem is I know like nothing about anyone. Of you were to ask me for a Donald Trump moodboard I honestly do not know what I would do my mind would just blank. That being said, in decently good at making them so if there were a person I knew well enough to do a stimboard on, I definitely could

Icon edits - This is somthing I'm capable of doing, but it isn't something where I would want this entire blog to just turn into requests. If you're making a blog specifically for these creative requests things totally hmu

Art - I cannot draw but my hope is that that changes in the future.

Meet us!

My last intro post didn't really have any information on us as people let's try and fix that.

I can't tell you my name, but you can call me Anxiety. I'm the main mod and significantly less source connected/more source ashamed. I go by he/Anxiety with Anxiety being able to work in place of either a name or a pronoun. Unless the host is helping out with something, anything that isn't labeled comes from me. I'm the only one out of the two of us with the physical ability to type so when he posts something, it's a little special occasion and deserves a label.

My boyfriend doesn't have a name option other than a source one. On the blog he has only been referred to as my boyfriend, but if you need a name for him, call him NPC. He uses he/him pronouns and will sign off any post that he thinks up all on his own with -NPC and tagged with # npc posts

Tagging

Here is some of the tagging we use on this blog

# problematic factive culture = Problematic factive culture is.. posts

# kindness and positivity = Kind and Positive asks we've received

# good thoughtful questions = Good questions we received as asks

# positivity post = Positivity posts

# problematicfactive blog things = things that ate moreso related to one of the mods or running the blog than they are about problematic factives

# rainy day drafts = drafts that could be super old because I made them and them left them in the drafts so I could post when I don't have anything else to post

# queued because I am asleep 😊 / queued because hopefully I'm sleeping = posts that I queue to be 5-ish hours away from the last post. I often post somthing at 12 am Eastern Time regardless of the last something was posted, so those early morning positivity posts tend to also be queued with the tag

If you come across us and like what we do, consider boosting or realigning this post! I'd love for as many people to find out we exist as possible

# askers experience = Asks sent in where an asker tells me about their life

# npc posts = posts my npc wrote as a mod on this blog (does not apply to posts where "my boyfriend's answer" is me paraphrasing or trying to speak for him)

#intro post #problematic factive #problematic source #problematic introject #factive #introject #plural community #plural #system #sysblr #problematicfactive blog things

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themaraudershavethephonebox · 4 months

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15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Thank youu @florenceafternoon for the tag <<33

1. Are you named after anyone? I'm not actually sure where my name came from, just that it's French (Chelle is a nickname) and I've got some french heritage like 200 years back or something, but my middle name is my grandmother's name.

2. When was the last time you cried? Like two hours ago rewatching the twilight series (Seth's not-death will always make me so sad) - or my last proper cry was yesterday watching Space Babies (Thanks RTD)

3. Do you have kids? HA No.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes, but not so much online, I find I'm way more sweet and flowery on here.

5. What sports do you play/have you played? Netball for nearly 10 years, tee-ball when I was a kid, and I played futsal for a spell when I was in year 5

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Their teeth (it's terrible I hate it) and how they engage in conversation - if they cut others off or ask questions etc.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings all the way, I love a good brain off viewing and a cry.

8. Any special talents? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can do weird bodily things that alot of people are supposed to not be able to like unfocusing my eyes and thunder ears, hyperextending my thumbs etc etc.

9. Where were you born? About 4ks from where I currently live (which is sad to think about if you ask me)

10. What are your hobbies? Knitting, crocheting, yapping, thinking about writing, buying books I will likely not read.

11. Do you have any pets? I've recently adopted a stray and her kittens (only 1 left bc I've rehomed the other 2 this week) and she has another litter on the way. (If anyone wants a cat HMU)

12. All-time favourite piece of media? I am just a simple woman - Pride and Prejudice 2005

13. Fave subject in school? Legal studies - it's like listening to a true crime podcast but you're talking to other people instead of yourself.

14. Dream job? Trophy wife? Deity? No job at all? Or at least anything where I'm not on my feet 40 hours a week talking to the most ignorant people in Sydney and worrying about being assaulted by teenage girls lmao

15. Eye colour? My best friend once described it as hazel that turns more green in the sun, with specs of gold and honey through and honestly at that moment I wondered if he had been reading James Potter fanfiction bc how many times have we all read that description?

Tagging @apalapucian @annabtg @nena-96 @starlingflight @petals2fish @emeralddoeadeer @charmsandtealeaves @jfleamont

And open tag bc while I do have 15 mutuals that is A LOT of tagging babes x

#TY for the tag Maya <<33

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jumexju · 8 months

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🕸️.. INTRODUCTION !! :

John 11:35 - "Jesus Wept."

ᰔ This is my favorite verse from the Bible because it reminds us that Jesus, too, had human feelings. I feel that it is often ignored and that people see him as someone who you can't relate to. When really, that couldn't be farther from the truth ! Jesus cares about you and what you feel. And with that..

Hola <(o.O)^~ !! Im a 17 y/o goth Christian n' I use she/they pronouns !

I'm an artist & I like to write/rant every once in a while :3 I like anime and reading manga too (death note + naruto r peak idc)

L is in a qpr with me 💯💯

+ I'm latina (Nicaragüense) 0.o

My favorite flavor of anything is chocolate 😋

🕸️.. REQUEST STATUS !! :

Writing Requests/Ask Box : OPEN ; To request something, check my rules !

Art Commissions : OPEN ; for more info click here ! OR : See my Carrd !

🕸️.. BEFORE YOU FOLLOW !! :

I may write dark content (obvs not any problematic stuff, i will put warnings too) (Mostly stuff dealing with SA, SH, Depression, Disassociation/Derealization, etc..)

I talk a lot abt my (declining) mental health and vaguely abt my family issues wit no filter (cuz this is my acc lol)

Do not try to befriend me if you're younger than 14.

As for my artwork : Ask for permission to repost it on other platforms & please give credit.

Lastly! My asks aren't limited to requests. If you have a question about anything or just wanna hmu, im open to it ! Just be respectful.

🕸️ OTHER SOCIALS !! :

TWT - @jumexju

TikTok - @jumexju

Instagram - @jumexju

Please do not sexualize any of my ocs.

Lastly : there's no DNI, Be respectful and open minded & we gon' be aight 🙏🏼‼️

★.. MASTERLIST (1)

★.. MASTERLIST (2)

Wanna donate? Here's my Ko-Fi!

#goth #atsv #Jume Speaks ★#gothic #art #artist #small artist #latina #goth latina #punk #post punk #new wave #goth rock #alternative

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kingxlinkwrites · 3 months

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Whumpmas in July #1: (Re)Introduce Yourself

(Re) Introduce yourself

i feel like i just did this lol, but hi! i'm link! i write a combination of fandom (usually ocxcanon) and oc whump, but I've been focusing more lately on my oc stuff, especially the things i work on with my friend & roommate nyx! (they get mentioned a lot but aren't an active tumblr user so i don't bother tagging them in non-creative-content posts, jsyk)

i don't have a masterlist yet, but I've posted a couple of pieces that might interest you if you haven't seen them before, with more on the way!

Ask Game: Tied to a Pole #1 (Kane Foster)

Never Saw It Coming (WoW Birthday Whump Event Day 1: Kidnapping, Bound & Gagged, "I have your loved one")

my favorite whump things to write are kidnapping/captures & the following rescue (or lack thereof), humiliation, begging, used as bait scenarios, caretaker comforts, human or nonhuman whumpees and whumpers, pet whump, dub-to-noncon, and institutionalized slavery...but honestly that's just what i can remember offhand - I'll write almost anything and I'll read about the same! (i also draw, though I don't often draw whump...though that's slowly changing lol)

i have a bunch of stories in progress and a mountain of OCs (over 200, most of which have stories even if they don't have visual designs) and I will jump from muse to muse as i see fit XD but always hmu if you wanna see something of a particular character (like sequels to previous pieces or new prompts, whatever!).

i refer to my main story as "the multiverse" and it is the thing I work on with nyx. most every idea i have is passed by them first before i work it into a fic bc most of them have to do with nyx's characters or the worlds they've built. ^^ there are also a ton of AUs for it which will randomly show up in fics when I get the vibe. i also roleplay on discord, though i don't have any current whump partners 🤔

i also LOVE getting asks, whether they be writing/art prompts or questions

i haven't been in the community very long, but i've been writing whumpy stuff since i was a kid - so here's hoping i hit my stride here and nestle in with all y'all whumpy weirdos /affectionate

#kingxlinkwrites #wij24day1 #whumpmasinjuly2024 #whump community #whump intro

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opencommunion · 1 year

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Hey, I have lebanese heritage and recently found out my family was maronite. I don't know anything about maronites, though, besides some basic history, and I want to learn more as part of my reconnecting journey. Do you have any tips on how I can do that? God bless you, thanks in advance

welcome!!! I'm so happy you asked because I had a somewhat similar experience -- I was aware we were maronite but only a few members of my extended family were active churchgoers, so I didn't know much until I started researching on my own as an adult first and foremost, if you're lucky enough to live near a maronite church, don't hesitate to drop by for a service and introduce yourself!! for maronite clergy in the diaspora, helping people reconnect is like 90% of the job lol. and the liturgy is the heart of our tradition, it's what differentiates us from other churches in the catholic communion, so immersing yourself in it brings an understanding of aspects of the faith and culture that can't fully be conveyed otherwise. but if you don't live near a church, no worries!! a lot of churches livestream services and have youtube channels where you can watch past streams: Our Lady of Lebanon Cathedral St. Anthony of the Desert Church St. George Church ... and many others

my #1 book recommendation is Captivated by Your Teachings: A Resource Book for Adult Maronite Catholics by Anthony J. Salim. sadly I can't find a pdf but if you can only buy one book it should be this one imo the essays linked here, especially Seely Beggiani's series on the sacraments, are also a great place to start Seely Beggiani's Early Syriac Theology: With Special Reference to the Maronite Tradition is another personal fav of mine bc it goes deep into the early theological underpinnings of our liturgy. Beggiani also wrote a more straightforward breakdown of the liturgy in The Divine Liturgy of the Maronite Church: History and Commentary The Hidden Pearl is an academic organization for syriac studies in general, but with a strong maronite slant. their website is kind of a pain to navigate but worth the trouble -- lots of free books, articles, and videos. they also have lectures up on youtube

Beth Mardutho is another syriac studies group with a massive digital library and an online journal the Maronite Servants of Christ the Light, a monastic community in the US, also have a YT channel. a couple years ago they hosted a webinar series for lent that I really enjoyed. my favorite was the session on the divine office learning about our saints can also be fruitful. the most famous are st maron (of course), st charbel, and st rafqa (my fav). some saints that weren't maronite themselves but are particularly revered in our tradition are st ephrem the syrian, st isaac of nineveh, and st jacob of serugh. this directory of syriac saints is also fun to browse

the version of the bible we use is the peshitta. I often refer to this site which lets you compare the peshitta NT side by side with various other translations. I especially love the lexicon search function

have fun, and hmu if you have any more questions or just want to chat!

#resources #maronite #syriac

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jaxfromthatcircus · 11 months

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question 4 the mod; howd you start this ask blog? like what inspired you and then gave you the motivation to keep going +any other tips/tricks you'd like to share)

A message from the mod!

Hiiiii omg I love to be interacted with :D

I don't know if im the best person ever to ask, cause this is my first ask blog that I ever made but I can tell yall a bit about it!!

So, my first inspiration ever was @pomni-xddcc and I always pride myself in saying this cause she's actually a great person, all shoutouts possible to her, I think she was the one who inspired all the askblogs in tadc tumblr rn? Yea she's amazing go check out her blog, honestly she fucking rocks!!

As to "motivations to keep going" it's pretty simple: I HAVE AN INCREDIBLE BRAINROT RIGHT NOW AND IT'S NOT GOING AWAY EASILY

Plus (aside from some weird situations that we the mods had to deal with), there's such great people here who follow and interact daily with the blog, I would be sad to let them behind, even if its just a silly askblog for a silly dumbass character, it really makes my day to see the stuff that you guys come up with lmao

I could be here talking all day long about this but the thing thats gives me more motivation is you guys who are here, interacting and doing funny bits, or some angsty shit, in any way its entertaining :D

Hmm now for tips that's not so hard, all these ask blogs are made for the funsies only so if you're planning on making one, don't need to stress about it and make it too canon or too serious, just vibe with it cause there's always people here who will like you anyways

and you people making asks, don't be shy!! just have fun with it too, send whatever you want, I'm here reading all of it!!

and I want to say sorry for not answering all the asks, after the blog has gotten a big bigger, especially with new anons coming, sometimes the asks gets too much and I try to clean them all the time in order to answer the most I can, so if you have not been answered, I'm so sorry!! I'm trying lol

uhhh i guess that's it??

also I'm here always open to talk about anything ever! both my askbox and my dms are open for you guys, so don't need to be shy, hmu!!

tho I want to ask some of you keep the sexual interactions to the minimum, mod coffee here is an adult but there's a lot of minors following, ya freaks >:(

oh well I went a lot off topic lol I guess thats how it is

anyways, thank you guys forever and I love each one of you!!!

#the amazing digital circus #ask jax rabbitoid #jax rabbitoid posts #a message from the mod

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guiltygearpl · 1 year

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Time to spread some polish sinbed propaganda!!!

Disclaimer admin 💀 has nothing to do with this. I’m not sure if I’ve told them I’m posting this. This is all me. The other admin. Be warned. I am going to ramble about these two under the cut :)

Now that we’ve got that out of the way let’s get into it.

-The only reason this is possible is because back in the day, when this all started, me and the other admin established that Grześ is bi comphet. In normal words, he is bi but he has not quite realized that he likes men yet. Bartek is gay and unaware because I said so (fucking LOOK at him)

-They are both mildly homophobic. Grześ was raised by his conservative father, which of course can’t end in anything other than lots of internalized biphobia. He also acts like a ladies man he loves flirting with women. Bartek is a reddit user which I feel explains a lot. Technically he’s not super actively bigoted but he says some questionable stuff sometimes. Enlightened ‘centrists’ actually lean in to the right and he is no exception.

-They meet because Grześ is failing BRAND SCHOOL* and needs a tutor. Desperately. Kamil was recommended to talk to Bartek, and since the price wasn’t high, he hired him.

-Bartek does not like Grześ at the beginning. Actually that’s an understatement he is genuinely appalled at how dumb that boy is. The first hour of their first lesson is a disaster, as Bartek keeps using language and terms Grześ does Not Understand. Bartek has to try and explain very basic 5th grade math to him.

-Eventually, they get somewhere when Bartek realizes the best way to get Grześ to understand something is through examples and de-structuring methods step by step, and slowly progressing forward to the actual material. He ends up enjoying the challenge of explaining things to a total idiot.

-Meanwhile Grześ is just really happy to finally understand something. He’s doing his best!

-Eventually, outside of learning, they start chatting as well. Mainly initiated by Grześ, because of course. He’s very friendly all around and loves talking. Bartek tries not to care, but the urge is too strong and he ends up showing Grześ terrible reddit memes. He does Not quite get them, but laughs anyway.

-Hey, Grześ is really good at one thing, and that’s sports. Since Bartek doesn’t care much about his attendance anyways, he eventually gets roped into going to the other’s school to watch a football tournament, even though he literally hates P.E. and anything related more than life itself. Grześ is so touched he almost cries.

-One time, during a voleyball game, Bartek goes to spectate. When Grześ notices him, he tries to wave and hit the ball at the same time and ends up accidentally hitting Bartek in the face with it. They don’t speak for a week but Grześ does LITERALLY everything to make it up so Bartek can’t stay mad.

-One Grześ learns that Bartek doesn’t really have any friends, he makes active effort to hang out with him way more, like after school and online. Bartek is, once again, unenthusiastic at first, but he now has a person other than Dalia to send reddit memes to, so he can’t really complain. They eventually become something like friends.

-They both like videogames which ends up being one of their main ways to hang out. It’s something they’re both quite good at, and they end up playing lots of competitive games.

-They mostly hang out at Bartek’s house because aside from Dalia, it’s empty and way bigger than the Kiszka family house. Grześ also hates his dad so he takes any opportunity to be away from home. It used to be hanging out at his neighbor’s place, but now he has an actual friend he can come over to play games with :)

ok ive been writing this for like 3 fucking hours and i still have more to write but i keep getting distracted to have part 1 i guess. see you when i go even more insane

- 🛏️

*i meant Szkoła zawodowa idk how to translate this. the other admin helped me but if u know a more accurate word hmu hihi

#guilty gear #winna zebatka #bartek senny #grzes kiszka #bedman #sin kiske #polish lore #bartek senny lore #grzes kiszka lore #sinbed #zebatka art #🛏️ admin

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kazoosandfannypacks · 1 year

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"Open to Interpretation" by kazoosandfannypacks

Chapter 15/16: Mug Cakes and a Movie Pairing: CaptainSwan Rating: General Word Count: (3.2K/24K) Summary: Emma Swan is appalled at works by modern artist Killian Jones- until a handsome stranger convinces her otherwise- and after introducing himself as the artist in question, he invites her out on a date. As their relationship develops, they find that they might not be as different from each other as originally thought. Chapter Summary: Emma invites Killian up to her apartment, where he learns one of her secrets. Tags: au, fluff, captain swan, modern au Author's notes:I hope you guys don't mind a chapter roughly three times longer than a lot of the chapters in this fic! Before any of you get your hopes up, no. "Mug cakes" is not synonymous with "pancakes." this is still a G rated fic. Sorry not sorry. (but yes, the mug cake recipe used in this fic is legit. I highly reccomend!) Taglist: @zahara @kmomof4 @jonesfandomfanatic @booksteaandtoomuchtv @jrob64 @tiganasummertree @anmylica @teamhook @undercaffinatednightmare @gingerchangeling @lonelyspectator @caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @cs-rylie @pirateprincessofpizza @lfh1226-linda @pawshapedheart [if you'd like to be added to or removed from this list, hmu in my dms or askbox!]

Also on Ao3!

From the minute he helped her out of the car- which she insisted she didn't need his help for and he insisted he would help her anyways- Killian hadn't taken his eyes off Emma for even a second, watching her with awestruck and delighted smile- and Emma only knew that because she hadn't taken her eyes off him for even a second either. He also seemed to have made it his goal not to stop touching her, either, if he could help it- wrapping his arm around her side as they walked into the restaurant, holding her hand as they read the menu, their feet tangled up under the table as they ate.

And when he dropped her back off at her apartment, and they stood outside the door, he continued as he had, one hand holding hers, the other wrapped around her waist, his eyes fixed on hers.

Emma smiled as she took in the beauty that was Killian Jones, stroking his stubble with the back of her fingers.

"Thank you so much for coming with me, Swan," Killian said, "you have no idea how much I appreciated your company today."

"Not nearly as much as I appreciated yours," Emma said, "and I'm sorry if I made things awkward between you and your dad."

"You did nothing wrong, Emma," Killian said, and for the intensity in his eyes she believed him.

"I know," Emma said, "I just… I wish things could be better for you."

"I have a promising art career and the pursuit of the most beautiful woman in the world," Killian squeezed her hand, "what more could I need?"

Emma smiled, but she saw in his eyes that even he didn't fully believe it.

"You still wish you could have a family," Emma said, "one that cares about you."

He opened his mouth, but no words came out- instead, he nodded and sighed.

"Don't take offense to this," Killian finally said, "but sometimes I almost feel like an orphan."

"I know the feeling," Emma reassured him.

"You feel this every day, and more," Killian said, "you must be the strongest woman alive."

"After a while it doesn't get so heavy," Emma said.

They stood there a little while longer, neither needing to say a word, just staring at each other and holding each other.

"You're perfect for me," Killian whispered.

"What?" Emma replied.

"You're perfect for me," he repeated, "I know, we're not anything official- we're still open to interpretation- but I just want you to know that you're everything I've ever wanted."

Emma didn't know what to say- his declaration was bold, and real, and as much as she wanted to say the same thing to him, she couldn't. With all the other men she'd dated, she'd echoed their declarations of affection, knowing they were both lying anyways- but she couldn't lie to Killian- not just because she didn't want to, but because if she told Killian he was everything she ever wanted, it wouldn't be a lie. He was gorgeous, passionate, protective, successful, talented- he really was perfect for her.

Not only that, but he wasn't perfect to her anymore. She saw him today get into a heated argument with his dad, get cut off in traffic a couple times, and stuff his face with pizza in the least elegant manner imaginable- and still, she liked him. Usually, she'd put someone on a pedestal, and he'd fall, and that pedestal became a tower, a wall, a high barrier he'd have to get over to earn her trust. But this time, when she saw Killian no longer as perfect, she liked him even more.

One time in school she'd read that gemologists are often excited to find a flaw in a diamond, because that way you know it's real, not one of those perfect fake synthetic crystals. Killian was a diamond in the rough, and when Emma saw the flaws in him it only made her want him more- because it showed how genuine he was, that his sparkle wasn't made in a lab. He really was everything she'd ever wanted.

That truth scared her, scared her so much that instead of responding, she leaned closer to him, laying the next stroke of the masterpiece on the canvas of his lips, kissing him.

He tucked her even closer and tighter under his arm and let go of her hand so he could grab the back of her neck, his fingers in her hair. When he let go of her hand, she placed it on his side, then wrapped her arm around him, her other hand wrapped around his neck.

Though she'd been afraid to use her words, she soon hoped her lips could say it all- he was perfect for her, and she never wanted him to leave.

But that realization scared her too, scared her so much that she pulled away, staring at him in awe.

"I never want him not to be in my life," Emma thought, "It would kill me if I lost those passionate eyes, and his talent, and accent, and the beautiful man behind it all."

She could tell by the look on his face that he felt the same way, that he didn't want her walking out on him anytime soon. How much did it kill him not to know how she felt- how she was too scared to admit she felt- to live with the fact that she was still set on leaving things open to interpretation, that she still hadn't committed to him as openly as he had for her?

But with the desperation that comes with knowing your time is running out, Killian closed the gap between their lips and kissed her yet again, with the same fervor and zeal as in the last, like a continuation of his previous stroke.

Time moved differently as they kissed- Emma didn't know if they'd been kissing for three seconds or three hours by the time he pulled away from her.

They smiled at each other, a little flustered and a bit disoriented, still in a bit of a daze from the sparks that flew between them.

She didn't want their evening together to end, and wondered what was saying it had to yet- the night was still young, and she had a netflix subscription and a couch with their name on it.

A stupid smile spread across his face- probably mirroring the stupid smile on hers.

"Hey, Swan," Killian asked.

"Yeah?"

"If I tell you that was the worst kiss of my life, will we have to do this again next week to make up for it?"

"With the way things went today, we already have to do this again next week to make up for it," Emma said, "but if you tell me it was the worst date of your life, I might invite you up to my apartment for mug cakes and a movie."

"Oh?" Killian asked, with a raised eyebrow and flirtatious smile, then a wink from one of his dangerous eyes as he asked, "is that supposed to be a euphemism for something?"

"You wish," Emma smiled with a playful eye roll.

"Only if you wish, love," Killian smiled.

"Not tonight," Emma said, running her fingers through his hair, "but I don't wanna say goodnight yet either."

"Then pardon me for lying, to you, Swan," he leaned a touch closer to her, "but that was the worst date of my life."

"Well then," Emma said, "I suppose a do-over date is in order."

She took his hand in hers again and led him through the door to her apartment,

"Sorry I don't have too many options for mugs," Emma said, gesturing to the small collection of mugs by the coffee maker in her kitchen, "but feel free to use whichever one you want."

"Wow, love," he said, picking up a blue mug with a cartoon character on it, "I didn't know you were such a Peter Pan fan."

"Shoot," Emma thought, wishing she'd thought ahead enough to hide anything embarrassing before she left- including the tacky Disney mug featuring Captain Hook maliciously twirling his mustache.

"It was a white elephant gift," Emma explained, "a work thing. I just haven't had time to get rid of it yet." "Get rid of it?" Killian asked, feigning being offended, "this is a beautiful mug."

"You can't be serious," Emma rolled her eyes.

"I'm using this mug," Killian said, clutching it close to his heart for dramatic effect.

"Okay," Emma said, pulling a Pillsbury boxed cake mix from the pantry, "now, I'm not much of a baker, but I can bake from a mix. Six tablespoons of this stuff, four tablespoons of water, one minute in the microwave and bam! Instant pick-me-up in two minutes or less."

"You're bloody brilliant, Swan," Killian said, grabbing another mug for Emma as she dug out her measuring spoons.

"I found the recipe online, nothing special," Emma said, "hope you don't mind devil's food cake."

"I didn't know you had such a dark side, Swan." he smiled.

"It was on sale at Wal-Mart," Emma blushed, "the cake mix, anyways, not the dark side."

They assembled their mugs of cake batter, fingers brushing against each other at every opportunity as they handed measuring spoons back and forth. Then, Emma put the first one in the microwave.

"Here," she said, picking up the remote off a nearby counter, "why don't you go pick out a movie while I finish up in here?"

"Sounds like a plan, love," and while anyone else could've just grabbed the remote from her, Killian grabbed the hand that was holding it, then kissed her forehead, before sliding his grip and taking the remote from her. He walked around the island counter to what could probably be called the next room over, though the apartment was small enough that they may as well have been one room- there wasn't even a full wall between them, just the counter.

Emma finished cleaning things up in the kitchen as the mugs took their turn in the microwave- smiling as she picked up her mug, as realizing the mug he picked out for her happened to be her favorite mug, a white one with a silhouette of a swan on it.

Once both the cakes were finished, Emma grabbed a couple forks, then went to join Killian in the "living room," which, as mentioned, was more like the living half-a-room. She noted first that he hadn't even turned on the TV, and that instead of reclining on the couch looking at the TV, he was sitting on the edge of the couch cushion, looking at the coffee table. At first, Emma wondered what could be so interesting about the coffee table, but then she remembered the last thing she did before Killian came to pick her up yesterday- adding the finishing touches to her most recent painting.

"You didn't tell me you paint, love," Killian said, almost sounding betrayed by the realization.

"I, uh," Emma knew she couldn't find some kind of defense against the painting in front of him being her work- if the newspaper, brushes, and paints on the table weren't enough to tell him that, her signature in the bottom corner was, "I didn't ever think it was 'relevant to the discussion.'"

Emma took a seat next to him, setting the mug cakes down on the coffee table.

"Why not?" Killian asked, "It never occurred to you that I'd want to know that the most important thing in my life matters to you too?"

"I," Emma shrugged, "I didn't think it was good enough."

"Not good enough?" He looked over at her, then back at the painting. He picked up the painting carefully, with an artist's touch, holding the edges rather than the front, careful not to smudge it, "Swan, this is breathtaking."

"Really?" Emma asked.

"What do you call it?" Killian asked.

"Small," Emma said.

Killian smiled. "The title says everything the painting does."

"Sometimes when you live in someone's shadow for too long," Emma explained, "you just feel so small."

"I know the feeling," Killian said, "remember the poem about the masks?" Emma tried to quote it as best she could, "He had blue skin. She had blue skin. He hid it. She hid it. They searched for blue and never found it- and passed right by each other."

"Pretty close," Killian smiled, "Emma, when I look at this painting, I see someone with blue skin like mine."

"Because your family makes you feel small?" Emma reasoned, "just like my ex did?"

"And we could've passed right by our whole lives and not known what we share in common, Emma," he said. He then set the painting back down on the table.

Emma looked at him with a shade of wonder. Here was a renowned, successful, talented artist, telling her that her paintings were good- if anyone could know that, it would be him. A little voice in the back of her head told her maybe he was only faking, that he was just playing some kind of cruel joke with her emotions- but that voice was drowned out in the pools of sincerity in his eyes.

"Do you have any others?" He asked

"Others?" Emma asked.

"Other paintings," Killian said.

"I have some paintings, I guess," Emma said, "and a few sketchbooks."

"Then may I have the honor?"

"Of looking at them?" Emma asked, a little surprised. No one had ever seen most of her art before- no one had wanted to- and yet, Killian did.

"Only if you want to share them."

"I can go get them," Emma said, giving Killian a kiss on the cheek before getting up, "I'll be right back."

"I'll be waiting here, love," Killian said.

They didn't end up doing anything beyond warm mug cakes and a movie- though admittedly, they didn't even end up watching a movie, and by the time they finally got to their mug cakes, they were cold. Instead, they went through Emma's paintings together, and then a couple of her sketchbooks, Killian pointing out a few clever details about all of them, making Emma fall in love once again with even the self-proclaimed "worst" of her works.

"Do you have any more?" Killian asked, after an hour or two of looking through her art.

"I think that's the last of it," Emma said, setting her last sketchbook down on the coffee table, "To be honest, I was surprised you even sat through it at all."

"I'm surprised you expected me to be so bored," Killian said, "It was an honor and a delight."

"Are you just saying that?" Emma asked, yawning a little.

Killian yawned in return, in so doing wrapping his arm around her, "and would I serve to gain from lying to you?" "I don't know," Emma snuggled a little closer to him, "build my trust to get close to me, just so you can stab me in the back later."

"You know I wouldn't do that, love," Killian said.

"I know," Emma said,

"And I mean every word I've ever said to you," Killian said, "and especially tonight. You're one of the most talented artists I've ever met."

He kissed the top of her head, and she fell back into his embrace, resting her head against his chest.

"That means a lot, coming from you," Emma said.

"I mean it."

"I know."

Killian wrapped his arm around her more tightly and rubbed her shoulder, which was followed by both of them yawning again.

"I suppose I should be heading back soon," Killian said.

"Already?" Emma asked.

"Emma, love, it's already one thirty in the morning."

Emma groaned a little and wrapped her arm around him tightly. He sighed a little.

"Don't go," Emma whispered.

"What?" Killian asked.

"Stay here tonight," Emma said, "you're too tired for a half hour drive anyways."

"I'll be fine," Killian yawned.

"I can't let you do that," Emma said, "I don't want to see you get into an accident." "I'll be fine, love," he smiled, "one thing I've always been good at is surviving."

Emma grumbled to herself a little, not wanting to get up or say goodbye yet.

"But do you really want me to stay here with you?" Killian asked, yawning again.

"Yeah," Emma said, realizing it wasn't hard to let her walls down for someone who had already gotten inside them, "I don't want this moment to end. I want to fall asleep right here, next to you,"

"If that's what your heart desires," Killian said, "I'd be a fool to deny it."

"Good," Emma said.

As she curled herself up in his arms, Emma couldn't help but think about how natural it all felt, how nice it was to be with Killian, unlike with any man she'd ever met. She suddenly realized that she wanted to spend time with him without having to say goodbye and goodnight. She wanted to get to know all his family members and friends, go with him to all his benefit dinners and art showings, and to comfort him on his harder days.

But more than that, she realized she wanted him to be there for her the same way. She wanted to show him off to all her friends, to curl up in his arms like this after a hard day of work, to go shopping with him and make meals and do chores with him, and to let him be a part of her life too. She wanted to do all kinds of things with him- grab a cup of coffee together, go dancing, or for a boat ride, or to watch the fireworks on the fourth of July- or even just get grilled cheese and onion rings at a diner together. She wanted to celebrate little moments with him- and big moments too, like Christmases and birthdays and anniversaries- she wanted them to have anniversaries.

"I want him to be my boyfriend," Emma thought.

"Hey, Killian," Emma mumbled, half hoping he was already asleep.

"Yes, Emma?" he asked.

"Maybe I'm just tired, and maybe in the morning I'm gonna regret this," Emma said, "but remember on the way to the graduation, when you asked me if I wanted to commit to a relationship yet?"

"Indeed," he said, sitting up a little, and she did the same.

"I don't think I want to leave things open to interpretation anymore," Emma said.

"Oh?" Killian asked.

"If the offer's still on the table, I'd like to be your girlfriend," Emma said, "and I'd like you to be my boyfriend."

"I must be dreaming," Killian smiled, his arm that wasn't still wrapped around her touching her cheek.

Emma took his face in her hands. "We're still awake," she said, "and I want to make our relationship official."

"I said earlier I only want your heart's desire," Killian smiled, "but you've no idea the joy I feel knowing our hearts desire the same thing. I would love to be your boyfriend, if you'd love to be my girlfriend."

"Sounds like a deal," Emma said, smiling.

"Care to seal the deal with a kiss?" Killian asked.

"Yeah," Emma smiled. They both leaned towards each other, slowly, and painted another kiss across each other's lips, this one like a gentle staccato before drifting off to sleep in each other's arms.

#captain swan #once upon a time #killian jones #emma swan #ouat #cs ff #cs fanfiction #cs au #once upon a time season 6

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