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#if i could apologize to some people since i matured more now i would
soaps-mohawk · 3 days
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(i apologize in advance as this is probably gonna be long as hell. I love Price so my brain just honed in on him this latest chapter, sorry for the rant but i. am. invested.)
Since Price always has and always will be my favorite character in both canon and AUs, it breaks my heart (in a good way) to see him doubt his entire person. It almost feels like he could sit on the edge of the bed after yet another sleepless night, sigh and just go "i'm leaving the pack". Saying Simon can take over and that he never should have marked anyone, not even Kyle, because of his lifestyle and personality. Not sure if it's the same as canon in this fic, but Price has been a military man since he was a teen. He's not going to leave it, not even sure he can even if he wanted to and it has shaped him as a human. With him now being so experienced, (traumatized), mature and capable of cold hard logic, I could see him looking at the current situation and just going "this isn't working", identifying himself as the biggest reason for it not working and attempting to remove himself just as coldly as he would leave fatally wounded soldiers in the field or blowing up civilians (like in the 2019 game with the bomb hostage) because that's just what you have to do sometimes for the greater good. I could see him sitting down and having this talk with Simon over a cigar. Not sure how this AUs Simon would respond though, especially with the current situation..
A lot of focus is always on omegas (for understandable reasons) in omegaverse AUs when it comes to weakness, doubt and hurt because alphas are the strong providers and protectors with all the power, both physically and emotionally. It's nice to see fics where alphas aren't some indestructible machines that don't get affected when things happen. They're even more sensitive than omegas if you look at things close enough. Just look a little too long at their omega and they're ready to throw hands like immature teenagers.
All that to say; Even if it hurts, I'm always glad to see Price get some focus, especially as the packs leader. And always looking forward to updates!
I love long as hell asks, so bring it on!!!
Mhm mhm I agree with this 100%. John is such an interesting character to flesh out because he's totally committed to his job, even if it means sacrificing others. And now he's having to face that in this fic, not just with his team and pack, but also with 'mega. He's being hit with that reality right now. He has a lot of hard decisions to make. Does he continue with his lifestyle or does he leave the military? Does he leave the pack and live with that pain forever for the sake of doing what he's always done, or does he face the fact that his life has changed drastically and now he has to leave to take care of his pack and omega? That's a huge conflict for him in this part of the story, as well as the rest of the pack. His decision is going to change them forever, one way or another. They all have decisions to make, but they can't really do that without knowing what he's going to do.
I do 100% agree with that too. Alphas get portrayed as these big, tough people that have no emotion except provide and protect and they get watered down so much when really they'd be so emotional. Probably more-so than omegas at their core.
I love showing stuff from Price's POV. He has such a contrasting POV from 'mega and I think it's important to show kind of what's going through his head in different situations since there's so much that weighs on him and his decisions. It's also just fun to show other POVs besides 'mega's. I love exploring things from other perspectives.
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chuunibyou · 7 months
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Man every blue moon I get back on and look through my old posts and I miss this site a lot. :( No matter what happened or who had beef with who back then Tumblr was some of the most fun I've ever had online tbh
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losersiren · 5 months
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𝓨𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓭
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"𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝑜𝒽, 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝓈𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝒶 𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶����𝓊𝓇𝑒.” CW: Fem reader (she/her), possessiveness, suggestive Note: This is my first time writing something like this and posting it...go easy on me o(>< )o
The chandlers decorated the ceiling above the spacious ballroom, giving a gentle glow to the people filling said ballroom. The social season has just started to blossom, giving men and women room to court each other if one is blessed with the opportunity for such an experience. Catching the eye of a reliable suitor is quite troublesome– most of the men here do not fit any of your requirements, and if they did, they would suddenly be caught in a scandal of sorts, causing them to be an outcast. Not a good look on you or your family name.
You idly toy with the fan in your hand, your gaze sweeping over the sea of faces in the room. The task at hand feels insurmountable, and finding a suitable suitor in this town is daunting. Perhaps, you muse, debuting late was a misstep, a decision that now seems to mock you. You could always become a spinster…and ruin your reputation and lineage because you choose such an idiotic choice… regrettably it may be the easier option. 
“Pray tell why you’re glued to this corner as if you’re some wallflower,” A witty baritone voice whispers in your ear, the hairs of your neck standing upright while a cold shiver runs down your spine.
The sense of familiarity washes over you, and the resentment still lingers from years ago makes its way forward. The Earl’s son, your childhood close friend, who left you without a word after he said he’d be there for you.
What a bastard
“Have you ever heard of personal space? Or have you forgotten the amount of lectures your mother ingrained into your head on etiquette when you were just a brat?” You bite back with venom coating every word you spit out. You place your fan on your left ear.
”Ah, I see.” He steps back and gives you space. “You’ve become cold-hearted towards me since my departure overseas. I was only gone for a mere moment.” He switches his position from behind you to in front of you. He takes up your whole vision, his maturity, more evident now since the last time you saw him as a juvenile boy. It's been a few years, hasn't it? Yet he still has his teasing nature; no boarding school or amount of lectures can take that away from him. He bows a little lower than he should, his right hand to the opposite shoulder and his left arm behind his back. He looks up at you with those oh-so-regretful grey eyes. “I wholeheartedly apologize for departing overseas in such an impulsive matter without even notifying you in any way. I should’ve sent you letters and a hoard of messenger doves to accompany you”. “But I did not, and for that, my Lady, I've made a significant sin in your eyes– I do not deserve your forgiveness, but oh, if you could grant me such a pleasure.”
His voice is as quiet and soft as a starving mouse stealing food from a kitchen, careful for only your ears to pick up his pleas for forgiveness. Just as though you were a goddess punishing him, which he should be reprimanded tenfold in his eyes, who was he to abandon you without a trace? Though the situation before was entirely out of his hands, he didn’t want to go to that goddamned private school that was away from you; he fought tooth and nail not to go. Every house servant had to push and hold him down because he kept fighting; even his family members were victims of his wrath. His father, The Earl, still has fading scars from that night years ago.
He should’ve fought harder for you.
People around you start noticing; who wouldn’t? One of the most prestigious Earls of this country’s only son is bowing dishonourably low, borderline grovelling like a peasant caught stealing a measly loaf of bread. You feel eyes turning onto you, women whispering between their fans to one another, wondering in what predicament the next-in-line Earl would be for him to be embarrassingly bowing to a one-of-a-mill daughter of a viscount—a rank lower than him and a woman at that; your fan placement is not making it look better. Immediately change the position of your fan from your left ear to twirling it in your left hand, hoping he understands the situation he has put not only him but you in.
 He only smiles in return. “Stand straight; You look like a fool.” You hiss, “Do I have your forgiveness, Darling?” a scoff escapes your mouth. “That is either here or there! Be proper. Others are watching.” That doesnt deter him, nor does he care about them. “So my apology wasn't sufficient? Since you are thinking about everyone else but me.” More eyes make their way onto the pair of you, and whispers grow with the exchange of gossip. “You’re acting like a child-” He cuts you off. “Shall I go on my knees for you? I mean, I wouldn’t mind, but preferably, I would love to be in a more…secluded environment.” A smirk graces his lips at the thought. “Or shall I kiss your feet-” 
“You are a soon-to-be- Earl! Has that school taught you nothing? God, you’ve become more insufferable, I swear.” Your face feels warmer now, and embarrassment takes over you from his childish yet sincere teasing.
The young lord’s eyes fixated on you, on your lips, how your dress accentuates your already perfect self, your hands, oh, how he wishes to feel them against his. The years it's been since he saw you, he could listen to you scold him for hours on end; it doesn’t matter what you are saying. Just hearing your voice is enough. God knows it's been too long since he’s been deprived of you. He thanks his past self for sabotaging whatever male decided to even think of courting you. Though he was far away, his social standing never changed.
The lord decided by the second month he was away from you to pay his old servants to send him as much information as possible on the vermins that would try to nestle their way into your life. He would…No, he has ruined anyone who wanted to get in between you two. And he’ll keep it that way. You’ve stolen his heart since meeting him as a lad.
“So you wish for me to kneel? As you wish.” He starts to kneel; gasps can be heard. But you stop him, holding his shoulders upright; his eyes widen as you touch him.
You’re so close
“I forgive you…I forgive you…”
“I forgive you, Ambrose…”
Oh…
His name on your tongue….
His mind blanks. Has he gone to heaven? Oh, you sweet angel, you have him wrapped around your finger. And he wouldn’t want it any other way.
His smile is blinding as he stands and looks down at you.
“Then now that's settled…May I have the honour of a dance with yours truly?”
.." Or shall I beg more?"
End Notes: Fun fact (not really): I based most of this post on The Regency era, and that includes fan language! That is why I described the readers' actions with it. Placing the fan on your left ear means "I wish to get rid of you." Twirling the fan with your left hand means "We are watched." Thought that would be something fun to add (^.^)
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joelsmochi · 1 year
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Dirty Lies
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SUMMARY: Joel realized how much you matured since he last saw you 4 years ago and can’t resist you. WARNINGS: age gap [reader is 22, joel is 35], smut minors dni, no descriptions of reader aside from having shoulder length hair & having a girly sense of fashion, pervy!joel, shy-ish!joel, needy!joel, reader seduces joel. 18+ WARNINGS: infidelity if you squint (technicalities people), brief objectification, masturbation (f), oral (f receiving), dirty talk, reader was a lying little shit in high school but it paid off WC: 7.3k [please read author's note]
A/N: this was originally going to be a 15k word long smut as part of my LDR series, but........ I figured the more parts I can make out of it the more content I can produce, so here is part one of Us Against The World. Enjoy :) Edit: I’m rereading this and noticing a few typos, I apologize about those! Grammarly isn’t so helpful sometimes…
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There you were in your blue tank top and yoga pants laying with your father’s dog in the middle of the front yard. You had just returned from New York a few days earlier from college, which your father amicably told Joel about over a few beers the week before.
Joel was expecting to see your 18-year-old self: long hair, sparkly eyeshadow, dressed in your late mother’s hand-me-downs from the 80s. But that was no longer you.
You dressed more modern and age-appropriate. Your hair was shorter, looked curlier, and you had highlights. Your eyebrows were thinner and your face was free from the loud makeup your teenage self was accustomed to. Joel would make jokes from time to time about how he believed you were just born with glitter all over your eyes.
Joel felt a little silly thinking you wouldn’t have changed. Who doesn’t make a drastic change when they leave high school? He hadn’t found the time to stop by and say hello but he wasn’t necessarily rushing it.
He’d met your father when you guys moved in next door in 1993 and he remembered you introduced yourself the second you saw him and Sarah playing outside despite your father’s protests.
You told Joel about how your dad was only being grumpy because he’d just turned thirty-six. Something about getting old. You didn’t bother to retain that information.
But here you were: all grown up. It reminded Joel of the day he overheard you and your best friend talking about how handsome you thought he was. He wondered if you still felt that way.
You sat up, feeling the sense that someone was watching you; your eyes scanned around until instinct made you look to the same window Joel was standing in.
For some reason, he didn’t feel embarrassed about being caught staring. He offered you an energetic smile and you took in his appearance.
He hadn’t changed much — his hair was a little longer and he had a few more fine lines across his face, but he was still the handsome man you remembered and admired.
You stand up and walk over to the window prompting him to open it.
“Hey, creep,” you teased with a big grin, “how ya been?”
Even your voice sounded different with its blend of Texas and New York. It was sultry with a hint of confidence. He tried not to let his weaknesses show.
“I’m doing all right… Sorry for starin’. Could hardly tell that was you,” he responded.
You just barely saw his eyes glance down to your chest, and it made you smirk.
Had this been any other man you’d have your fist meeting their jaw, but it wasn’t any other man. It was Joel. You hadn’t forgotten that he was attractive, but you did forget just how attractive. Or maybe his sexiness came with his age.
Not like it mattered anyways. It wasn’t like you could make a move.
“I been gettin’ that a lot… Dad tells me you’re a contractor now with Tommy.”
Joel nodded and said, “Yep, hated workin’ for other people, so…”
You were unsure if you were being awkward or if it was just… Awkward.
“Cool. Yeah, no, I get that. How is Tommy, by the way? Is he still really cute?” You giggled.
This made Joel roll his eyes. “Not cuter than me,” he answered begrudgingly. You watched how his eyes faltered again, trailing from your lips to your belly ring. “Your dad let you get that?”
You scoffed and waved your hand lazily as if you were swatting his condescending tone away. “One, Dad can’t tell me what to do with my body. And two, Tommy was always the cuter one.”
“S’that so?” Joel grunted as if he were tempted to laugh.
You gave him a cunning look and nodded. “Yeah. But you were always more handsome.”
Joel found himself blushing at the compliment, trying to wipe the redness away with his calloused palm to no avail.
You let out a quiet teetering laugh and looked back to make sure your dog was okay for a moment. “He get that dog after I left?”
Joel focused on you again and confirmed it once he noticed the dog again. “Yeah. I think your dad likes having something to take care of.”
You looked back into Joel’s eyes and bathed in them for a moment. He seemed more like himself, more certain of who he was. It made you a little sad to know how much time has passed, but maybe it was better this way.
“He was always like that. I think it started after… Well, you know.” You took a deep breath and tried to change the subject. “How’s Sarah? She still my little rockstar?”
“She’s more of a pop star, now,” he said. “She still wears that bracelet you let her have, the… The silver one.”
Your chest swelled with joy and you couldn’t contain your excitement. “Really?! Aw, man, that’s so cool. I remember I would throw a fit if I didn’t have that damn thing on.” The dog barking grabbed your attention once again. He was just barking at the mailman but settled once the worker started petting him. “Sorry!” You shouted before returning your focus to Joel. “Well, Joel it was nice seeing you. We should… Catch up. I could use some… Life advice.”
“I’m free tomorrow night if that works?” He tried to contain his excitement.
You slowly backed away, giving him one more nod and smile. “Perfect. Just come over whenever like old times.”
Joel decided to be respectful enough to not ogle over your ass as you walked away. He turned away from the window wondering how the hell he was going to get over this… Crush?
Is that what this was? A crush?
He decided to not torture himself with his intrusive thoughts.
“Hey, kid,” Joel greeted. You rolled your eyes at the nickname but greeted him back. He entered the backyard slowly trying to get a feel for the mood. He sat next to you in the extra papasan chair and snatched your beer out of your hands. You glared at him, unable to hold it for long when he shot you that infamous smile. “Everything all right?”
He tasted your strawberry chapstick around the rim of the glass and let the taste linger on his tongue. His eyes fell to your lips as he thought about how the chapstick would taste coming straight from you. Raw and unfiltered.
You held your breath, wishing you had enough courage to ask your father these questions. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust your father, you just wanted an opinion from an outside perspective. You were hoping Joel wasn’t as inclined to protect or embarrass you as much as your dad.
“There’s this guy I’ve been dating for a few months now… I…” You sigh frustratedly with the tension surrounding the question meanwhile Joel grew tense and jealous? He asked himself why that was the way he felt about you having a boyfriend.
You apprehensively said, “We had sex a few times before I left and it wasn’t…good.”
“Okay?” Joel asked as a way to tell you to keep going.
“How should I go about telling a guy that?”
He cleared his throat uncertain of how to answer your question. He didn’t want his newly discovered feelings to cloud his judgment as the chances of you two becoming a thing were slim to none. He wouldn’t want to sabotage you or your relationships. Especially when you trusted him enough to ask such a burdening question.
Joel accepted the awkwardness of the topic and put it aside. He didn’t want you to feel embarrassed. “Well, have you tried suggesting things that he can do to make you—it feel good?” He asked.
“Yeah, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s me,” you admitted.
“Does he do the things you ask him to?”
“Kinda?” Your cheeks flushed and your eyebrows furrowed tightly.
He gave you a look that said come on now.
“He like… Does half of it?” You could just die of embarrassment right now.
“Wh—? How does he do half of it?”
You groaned obnoxiously and chugged some more beer. “I don’t know?! He does what I ask for like five minutes and then just does what he’s used to I guess.” He watched you poke your bottom lip out to pout as you stared into the glass bottle. “I really like him, Joel.”
“Does he like you?”
“Well, yeah,” you said as if it were obvious. “Fuck is that supposed to mean?”
He inhaled sharply through his teeth and stole your beer bottle again. “All I will say is that a man that truly likes you would try harder, especially during sex, and especially if you’ve told him how he could make you feel good.”
“So… What do I do?”
“Do you think he likes you?” He asked again. “Think about it for a second. What does he do for you?”
“Well, he…” Your voice trailed off into silence as your mind went blank. Surely this guy did something for you to make you like him, right? But anything that did happen to come to mind was the bare minimum. You didn’t want to give Joel the satisfaction, so you said, “I think it could work.”
“Who’re trying to convince? Me or yourself?” He saw the frustration on your face and propped a finger below your chin to make you look at him. “If a guy really likes you, sweetheart, you wouldn’t have to ask more than once,” was all he said after he took a sip of your beer.
“What do you mean?”
Joel’s sigh almost sounded irritated. “I mean… A guy that truly likes you and deserves you won’t make you suffer through sex. A real man’ll take care a’you.”
“A real man, huh?” You bantered.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Like you?”
“I’d like to think so.”
“Do you like me?”
Why the fuck did I ask him that?! You thought as soon as the words left your mouth.
Joel didn’t couldn’t answer right away. His voice just stumbled over his tongue and out of his mouth.
“I think you’re a sweet girl,” he finally said, “and you’re smart enough to know who’s worthy of your time and attention. Doesn’t sound like it’s him.”
You couldn’t defeat the growing smirk on your face as he fought the urge to look over your body. He wasn’t so good at hiding it.
You turned your body in the chair slightly and dauntingly lifted your leg to touch your bare toes against his calf. You watched his breath get caught in his throat and your mouth fell open in awe at how easy it was to get him riled up.
He looked at the ground, not moving a single inch of his body. He was overwhelmed by your confidence.
The amount of attention Joel’s given you in the last ten minutes already seemed to surpass the attention your “boyfriend” (can you even call him that?) had given you.
Your foot trailed up Joel’s leg before you rested it upon his knee; Joel’s eyes screwed shut as if he were praying to not get caught like this, but your voice brought his gaze back to you.
“You didn’t answer my question, Joel,” you whispered seductively. Your foot left his leg and you got on your knees in the chair, then you leaned forward, hands around the rim of his own seat, and leaned in devilishly close to his face. “Do you like me?”
He swallowed hard, his fingertips turning white as they pressed into the bottle.
His lack of an answer caused an impatience to grow inside you. You leaned in even closer and strengthened your eye contact with him. Your fingers absentmindedly trailed over his knee to the midpoint of his clad thigh.
His spine shivered and his arms grew goosebumps. “Why don’t you have this attitude with your boyfriend?” He asked lowly in a poor attempt to further evade answering you.
You snickered and looked over his beer-covered lips, craving to taste them. “If I’m being honest he’s technically not my boyfriend… You’re tellin’ me things about men and how they should act. It’s making me feel like… He just can’t handle me.”
He smirked at you, fighting the way his body pleaded to touch yours. “If that’s the case then, sweetheart, I don’t think he’s the one for you.”
“Oh?” You got even closer, your nose touched his and you heard him choke on his breath. “Do you think you could handle me?”
He chuckled rashly and straightened his posture, now sensing you tense up. “I could,” he confidently confessed. “But this ain’t right, sweetheart.”
“Please,” you scoff, “you can’t keep your eyes off of me.”
“If you keep actin’ like a spoiled brat you won’t be able to keep my hands off of you.”
“Maybe that’s what I want,” you retorted, a cocky essence in your eyes.
“That so?”
“Maybe you can show me how a real man should be taking care of me.”
Joel had to stop himself from speaking as it would have potentially led to consequences. His flustered cheeks and wide lustful eyes created a hunger you’d never felt before.
However, you wanted Joel to earn it. Push him to the point of begging for just a taste of you. You needed to know if he craved you. Something you longed for from other men that just could not deliver.
You hovered your agape lips over his so dangerously it tickled his nerves. You gave him a soft kiss on the cheek then sat back in your original position.
Joel was both relieved and disappointed with the kiss. Relieved it didn’t end up with his head buried between your thighs, and at the same time disappointed that it didn’t.
For the next few days, you settled into your room as best as you could and got everything how you wanted it to be. Well, almost. You wanted a shelf to go over your closet so that you could display your most prized possessions.
When the idea sparked in your head you remembered that your dad said he was going to be gone for most of the day. You figured you could hold off for one more day. That was until you heard some power tools and heavy grunting from beyond your window.
Joel.
Joel had followed your lead as best as he could and you had to admit that the lack of physical contact was making it harder to resist him.
You felt a bit strange, however. After all, this is Joel. Sweet, caring, next-door neighbor Joel. You and your friends had a crush on him and his brother, Tommy, sure, but this wasn’t that. And you surely weren’t a child anymore. But still, you couldn’t help but think of how strange the dynamic is.
It wasn’t enough to stop you from taking your sweatpants off and changing out of your t-shirt into a stretchy tank top. You poked your head out of your window and shouted Joel’s name a few times until you successfully got his attention.
“Hey!” You said with a proud smile.
“Hey, kid!” He shouted back.
“Can you build a shelf for me? I wanted to get my room done today, but my old man’s gone!”
“Right now?” He tried to seem indifferent.
You just smiled harder and motioned for him to come over. “Please?!”
He huffed and looked at his half-done project, ultimately deciding to help you instead. The sooner he helps you the sooner he could create distance, he figured. Though deep down he knew that wasn’t the real reason.
You patter downstairs to unlock the door for him. He could see from the corners of his eyes that you were half naked, only in white panties and your top.
“Couldn’t a’put pants on?” He asked grumpily as he walked past you, not giving you the satisfaction of staring. You shut and lock the door before guiding him upstairs.
“Yeah, but I figured since you were doing the job for free I could at least give you something to look at,” you flirted. He didn’t even bother trying to stop you.
“What d’ya need done exactly?” He asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
“I want those shelves to hang over my closet right… Here. I have a power drill here already, I just couldn’t figure out how to get it.”
He was doing a decent job at keeping his eyes anywhere but on your body, but in his mind he had already taken your clothes off and fucked you against the wall.
“S’alright, I can get it for ya,” he said while giving you an earnest look.
“What?” You asked after a moment of silence.
“Nothing,” he answered with a shrug and a smirk. You lightly smack his arm and plop down on your bed.
You lay on your stomach and flipped through a fashion magazine, occasionally smelling some of the perfume samples. You snuck glances at Joel’s broad back as he made sure everything could be lined up, smiling to yourself at how efficiently he worked.
“How’s your boyfriend?” Joel randomly asked after about ten minutes. You looked at him through your eyelashes as he peaked over his shoulder. 
You stifled your laugh and began looking at the magazine again before answering him. “He actually ended things with me two days ago. But like I said, he technically wasn’t my boyfriend. He never asked.”
“Oh… You doing okay? Seemed like you really liked him.”
“I like someone else more,” was all you said. Joel took a second, then just nodded even though you weren’t looking at him anymore.
“This someone have a name?” He asked after a few more moments of silence.
Joel’s internal conflict was teetering between giving in and giving up. He wasn’t sure why he was so drawn to you, but that’s what fueled his filthy thoughts even more.
“Yep, he sure does.”
Your tone was the exact opposite of what you were feeling. You felt hot and desperate, but you (almost) fooled him by sounding bored. He didn’t want to give into your childish game of beating around the bush, so he kept his mouth shut and began hammering a nail into the wall.
Suddenly you had an idea. An awfully sinister one.
You tossed the magazine on your nightstand and sat up in the bed, leaning into a few pillows and angling yourself so that Joel could get the perfect view if he dared to look.
Your hands traced uneven lines and patterns over your clad breasts and you gasped softly at your nipples perking up quickly. He couldn’t hear you over his hammering.
You rid yourself of your wet panties, kicking them to the edge of the bed. You spread your legs and began working big and slow circles over your sensitive clit. You used your free hand to pinch your nipple over your shirt, the combination of stimuli making you give a more audible moan.
Joel didn’t think much of it at first — he figured you were moving around on the bed to get more comfortable. So when the next moan came and he stopped his work to look at you he was taken aback, to say the least.
He said your name, but you shook your head in protest. “Is this okay?” You asked, innocence spreading across your face.
He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe.
“Joel?” You snapped him out of his daze. “S’this okay?”
He nodded and watched your trembling hands dip down into your glistening slit, collecting your wetness and coating it over your clit. Your body was stiff with anticipation, watching him watch you.
He took in all of your beauty like the way your eyes fluttered halfway shut and how you bit your plump lip to quiet your mewls. One hand cupped your breast so gently and the other rubbing steady, taunting circles over your sensitive bud. He watched the way you pleased yourself and let this picture of you engrave itself into his memory.
One day, Joel thought, I’d be able to make her feel as good as she makes herself feel.
He ignored the hardening of his cock pressing against his jeans, not caring enough to touch himself if it meant he didn’t get to feel you. He found the situation quite sexy and the lack of physical contact made him feel good.
You were showing him that he didn’t need to touch you or talk to you. He didn’t need to do a damn thing. All he needed to do was stand there and let you look at him.
Your moans were quiet and soft, barely heard by him. You squeezed your nipple harshly and jolted at the shock of electricity it sent throughout your body, your eyes screwing shut and your legs curling up into an almost fetal position at the feeling.
He saw you swallow the lump in your throat as you looked into his eyes again, soon scanning over his body and imagining how he would feel on top of you. The imagination was more than enough to get you going.
You imagined he felt strong and heavy above you, trapping you with his burly arms and using his lean thighs to keep your legs open for him as he rolled his hips to meet yours.
You absentmindedly curled your middle and ring finger into your creamy pussy, chasing after the feeling of being stretched out by Joel. Your pussy effortlessly squelched as your discharge poured out of you like a waterfall, coating your plump ass cheeks in your juices.
You got a bit louder but remained mindful of the open windows just a few feet away. You watched the movement in his jeans from his cock that twitched, longing for just some fucking relief. But he didn’t move, he didn’t even adjust his pants. He wanted you to know that you were the one in charge and that he was willing to suffer just for you.
“Joel,” you breathed out in between helpless murmurs.
He almost caved at how sweetly you said his name like you were asking for help. You reached even further into your sex, pressing into your sweet spot carefully. You pretended it was him.
Allowing your eyes to shut and your mouth to open, your mind dove deeper into the fantasies of Joel. You imagined him fucking you slowly, steady enough to not make your bed squeak too loud. Your fingers followed your mind, bumping against your g-spot the same way you wanted him to: carefully, yet forceful.
Joel felt awkward just standing there watching you, but you looked so beautiful. Sprawled out just for him with your fingers dipping into your sopping cunt as if you were made just for him. He saw your shoulders twitch and a hiss escaped your lips.
A ripple of ecstasy shocked your nerves, your walls tighten around your fingers, and your clit tensed up with a tickling sensation.
Your face twisted from the overwhelming feeling that began to encapsulate you from your core to your mind. Your moans became shallow and louder. Your clit throbbing beneath your palm motivated your to work your fingers faster. You fucked yourself with more desire than you had before, still twisting your perky nipple between your other fingers.
You were a lot more gentle with yourself than Joel would have expected. You took your time, didn’t overwhelm yourself.
He knew he loved it when the ever-growing pressure inside of you burst into a million flames throughout your trembling body. He saw that the slower you were with yourself the more intense the orgasm was.
He accidentally groaned at the sight of you: clinging to your bedsheet with the very hand that toyed with your breast, eyes refusing to open from the immense pleasure soaring through your veins, curling up into a ball because your body couldn’t comprehend just how good you were feeling.
He noticed how your cum gushed around and below your fingers creating a wet spot on your blanket. He carefully watched as you opened your eyes, still slowly fingering yourself. You continued to feel your orgasm, exploring how much of it you could endure.
You moved your free hand to your clit and rubbed tiny and fast circles around it. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you refused to moan anything but his name.
You shoved your fingers deep inside of you to press against your g-spot relentlessly. Your toes curled at the mix of pleasure.
You knew your orgasm was coming back more powerful than before already, and you braced yourself when your walls flexed against your fingers basically forcing them out; you chewed hard on your lip and laid your stiff fingers flat against your clit to rub from side to side at the arrival of your squirt. You squealed behind your swollen lip and let your squirt splash everywhere.
Joel palmed his rock-hard cock for some relief as he watched in awe at how you came for him. You looked so fucking delicious soaking yourself in your juices. His heart punched against his chest and his mind nearly blank, only filled with you.
Your lips formed an ‘o’ shape as you eased up on your clit. You let out sweet hums of bliss and you opened your eyes again, carefully analyzing his body language.
He practically reeked of inferiority. He was your marionette, your toy, whatever you wanted him to be. He didn’t recognize you in the best way possible. You were an unwrapped present that he couldn’t wait to open and play with. Your confidence grew at his puppy eyes that were low and dark, filled with a need to serve you.
Your fingers collected some of the creamy nectar between your folds before you brought it to your mouth and darted your wet tongue out to taste it.
You never broke eye contact once, observing how his body shuddered at the filthy action. His breath was heavy, his chest heaved in anticipation. You stuck your fingers inside of your mouth moaning at the salty goodness coating every single taste bud.
It wasn’t until your fingers dropped back down to your side and you gave him a shit-eating grin that he finally looked away, sighing loudly.
He felt ashamed of himself.
He’d known you since you were a child.
How could he ever look you in the eye again?
How could he ever look your father in the eye again?
You slipped your panties on again while he wasn’t looking and just grabbed your magazine, flipping through the pages again like nothing ever happened though the wet spot on your bed clearly said otherwise.
When Joel saw you had returned to your previous activities he did the same. Drilling and hammering your shelves onto the wall like nothing fucking happened.
“Here you go sir, you have a lovely day,” you chirped at the customer as you handed him his food waiting until he left. You turned around to straighten up the counter behind you when the bell on the door jingled. “Hello, give me just one moment and I’ll be with you!”
You gave the counter a lazy wipe with the wet washcloth before tossing it into the sink nearby and turning around, being met with a smirking Joel.
“My, my, you working at a burger joint? Never thought I’d see the day,” he teased.
You made a face and told him to shut up. You tried not to notice the sheer layer of sweat that coated his partially exposed chest. “What can I get you, sir?”
His face contorted with arrogance and he placed a hand over his chest. “Sir? You callin’ me sir now? Oh, you are just too cute.”
With a roll of your eyes, you huffed out a stream of air, waiting for him to stop fucking with you.
“Okay, okay,” he laughed, dropping the act. “Can I get a burger and some fries?”
“You don’t want a drink?” You asked before writing his order down quickly and sliding it through the kitchen window.
“Are you tryin’a make me tip you more?”
You shrugged. “Nah, it’s just that the cola here is really good.”
“Mmm,” he hummed as if he didn’t believe you.
“If you want a cola I’ll make it extra cold for you,” you whispered as if you were telling him a dirty secret.
“Mhm, okay. Fine, I’ll take your word for it. Gon’ and get it f’me then.”
“You can ask that a little nicer,” you scoffed. You walked off, breathing in a gust of smoke on your way to the soda machine. “F’here or to-go?!” You shouted.
“Mm, I was gonna get it to go, but I think I’ll stay and keep you company.”
You could just hear the smile in his voice.
“Awe, how thoughtful of you,” you bantered before rinsing out a clean cup and filling it with ice. The cook called out the order was ready and you thanked him before finishing up with Joel’s drink. You grabbed the tray and walked over to the end of the counter where the stools sat, setting the food in front of Joel with a weak smile.
He watched you closely as you leaned onto your elbows waiting for him to try his food.
“What r’ya doing workin’ in a restaurant? Didn’t you graduate for like… Fashion or some shit?” Joel asked, unable to keep his smile down at how pretty you looked in your uniform: a teal skirt and a mustard yellow shirt, but so, so tacky. You hated the fucking outfit, it was everything you would never wear, but Joel thought you made it look good.
“I did,” you confirmed, “but I wanted a humbling job before I truly entered the world of fashion.”
Joel’s thick and somewhat dirty fingers unraveled his greasy burger after he dumped the fries out chaotically. He took an unnecessarily big bite, not seeing how your eyes watched the trail of juice trickle down the corner of his mouth to his chin before he swept it set with his thumb.
“Humbling, hmm?” He questioned before swallowing his barely chewed bite. “You’re a wise girl, you know?”
“So I’ve been told,” you smugly replied. You stole a fry off of his tray and smiled at his frowning face while eating it before washing it down with his fizzling soda. “Best drink that ‘fore it goes flat.”
You walked away momentarily to help a customer that just walked in; she only wanted a dollar milkshake so you told her not to worry about paying. You took a dollar and some change from your tip pocket and put it in the register before grabbing a styrofoam cup and packing her cup.
Joel noticed halfway through you making the shake that whenever you tapped the bottom of the cup against the counter your breast jiggled against your arm. He felt the lady nearby staring at him so he turned his head just enough to see the mix of disgust and concern on her face.
If only she knew how filthy you were for him just last week…
He didn’t care enough to stop though, he just went back to looking at how your clothes hugged your body.
You finished up her shake and popped a lid on it before grabbing a straw and walking back to give it to her.
Joel heard the lady ask if you were okay, and he promptly rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and tried his best to not laugh. You were confused by her question, simply nodding your head and saying, “Yeah?”
She looked at Joel once more, choosing not to say another word before leaving.
“Fuck was that about?” You asked, watching her walk away.
“She saw me starin’ at your tits,” he said between obnoxious bites. “If only she saw—“
Your eyes widened. “Do not finish that sentence.”
“Whatever you say, doll,” he teased before taking another bite.
You pretended to be grossed out by seeing the chewed-up food in his mouth as he spoke, swatting his hand gently. “You’re so gross.”
“You love me,” he quipped with a simper. He took a sip of his drink, humming at how refreshing it felt. “This is good,” he told you.
“Told ya.”
“What time are you out?”
You looked at the door when your manager came in, apologizing for taking longer than she expected.
“You’re fine, it’s a slow day,” you told her as she walked to her office. You looked at Joel and slammed your book and pen on the counter near the register. “I’m out now. Why?”
“Your dad asked me to pick you up.”
You felt a rush of worry. “Why? Is he okay?”
“Yeah, honey, everything’s fine. He forgot about pickin’ you up today and got drunk with his buddies and called me—well, he called Tommy. Said he wouldn’t be back home ‘til tomorrow.”
You raised an eyebrow at the mention of his brother’s name. “Oh? Well, why isn’t Tommy here?” You strutted around the counter and stood next to Joel as he inhaled the last of his food.
“Think you know why,” he grunted.
Anxiety pang inside of your chest, but you convinced yourself it was excitement. You were hoping that he wanted to get you alone somewhere and fuck you into the next week.
But you didn’t want to seem desperate. You kept a straight face, waiting for your boss to come back out before getting your things and punching out.
You followed Joel to his Chevy and thanked him when he opened the door for you. He huffed when by the time he got inside the car himself you were already flipping through his book of CDs.
“I got a good one in already—“
“Is it The Writing’s On the Wall by Destiny’s Child?” You interrupted after you found said CD.
“No, b—“
“Then it’s not what I want to listen to.”
Joel endured your (arguably bad) singing for the ten-minute ride back to your house. He thought about a few things in that ten minutes:
-Sarah wasn’t home, so he didn’t need to worry about food (or getting caught), so this time was optimal to make a move on you.
-If he were to make a move on you, then you two wouldn’t get caught.
-If he were to make a move on you, how exactly would he do it?
Once he arrived in his driveway, you both stepped out of the car and he walked over to your side.
“You not working tonight?” You asked.
“No, we finished early.”
You looked at him with lush eyes and bit the inside of your mouth, a flirty smile coaxing your lips. He looked hopeful for something, anything.
“I was just gonna watch TV all night,” you started, “and maybe make some dinner. I know you just ate, but you and Sarah are welcome to come over.”
“Sarah’s at a friend’s tonight, doing some studying,” he answered. His voice trailed off as if he weren’t finished speaking his thought aloud, but you picked up where he reluctantly left off.
“Do you want to come over, then? Just you?”
He looked around the quiet neighborhood as if he had to think about what he wanted. “Uh, yeah, sure.”
You lead him to your house, kicking your shoes off at the door and he followed. He felt unsure of his decision. He wondered if this night would play out platonically and just be filled with conversation and dinner, or if this was truly the beginning of a secret he’d have to keep forever.
“Spaghetti okay?” You asked him once you both entered the kitchen, decorated with oranges and reds, and yellows, reminiscent of your late mother. You tossed your half apron on the island before making your way to the refrigerator.
You heard his feet patter on the linoleum quickly but before you could turn around on your own Joel did it, pinning your back against the refrigerator and knocking down some of the bottles inside of it.
You gasped when his fingers peacock over the outsides of your thighs, gripping at the hem as a means to pace himself.
His eyes were bright yet lustful as his proximity alone sucked the air out of your lungs. Your chests heaving against each other’s created the only other physical contact you had with him.
He then dropped to his knees before you got the chance to speak; his calloused hands rose beneath your skirt, hiking it up enough for him to pull your wet panties down to your ankles. You stepped out of them for him and he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder before meeting his mouth to your clit tongue first.
You moaned at how he just dove into it, not bothering with kissing or easing you into it. Your digits laced through his messy curls while his tongue coated itself in your juices.
His tongue did crazy laps around your clit and he smacked a couple of firm kisses in between his licks. You tried to watch his work but your stupid fucking skirt was in the way. You settled, however when his eyes opened, the only visible part of him from your view.
You tasted so good to him, he tasted your day of work mixed in with your salty precum and he couldn’t get enough of it. He moaned when you tugged at his hair, burying his face as deep as he could and closing his eyes.
You let out a stream of obscenities while using your calf to push into his back, afraid that if you didn’t hold on tight enough he’d vanish.
He wrote out his full name over your clit like he was casting a spell that anything you or someone else touched you there you would only think about him.
You were amazed at how good he was eating you out — you didn’t think he’d be bad. You just didn’t know it could feel this good. It was like you felt him touching and kissing and licking all over your body, swimming in an endless pool of dissolution.
His touch was decadent through remembering how careful you were with yourself. He wanted to cater to you and to make you feel as good as you made yourself. And on top of that, he just really wanted to eat your pussy.
Savor it.
Taste it.
Drink you until you fucking ran dry and begged him to stop.
Nothing could have torn his lips away from your pussy. Hell, someone could have walked in and he’d still keep going.
“Joel,” you gasped, throwing your head back and grinding on his face.
He loudly moaned, tightening his grip around your thighs and wagging his head furiously from side to side to provide more stimulation.
Your hips bucked into his face roughly and you screeched, pulling even tighter on his hair.
“Joel, oh—fu-fuck!”
He smirked and pulled at the skirt to unveil his eyes again. His dick angered in his jeans, but he ignored it. He’d much rather focus on the way you writhed from his touch. Your panting growing heavier fueled his already intense movements. He began to suck while still shaking his head earning another screech from you.
You never felt out of control with how loud you were before. Every motion sent a million shockwaves throughout your body. You always did a good job at keeping quiet enough so that the neighbors wouldn’t hear, but fucking hell was Joel the one to break that evergreen streak.
You felt his hot breath collide with the fluids coating your sex and his nails leave indents on your flesh.
His tongue darted out to collect a stream of your cum, but his nose butted against your clit as he continued shaking his head making your hips buck once more. Then he realized… He got to stimulate your sensitive bud and lick between your folds.
He loved it.
Your moans became more distressed and uneven; he felt you chasing that high. He wanted you to cum so fucking badly. To let all of your pent-up cum pour over him.
You held the back of his head gently and he angled it just right enough for you to ride his face.
“Use my fucking face,” he moaned loud enough between your legs for you to hear. “Use my fucking face to cum.”
Your body gave in finally at his hoarse voice; your hops sped up, still using his nose and lips to overstimulate yourself. The orgasm was forceful, your moans strident.
Joel felt a pool of your cum leak out and drip down his chin onto his neck. He watched you crumble and curl into him and he was attentive enough to hold you steady while your balance dissipated.
Your head was dizzy and your vision blurred. You slowly halted your movements and just stood there being held by him while he placed light, but loving kisses along your dripping cunt.
He finally pulled his face out from underneath your skirt and carefully put your leg down before standing. He tucked some loose hairs back or behind your ears, then caressed your cheek and gave you a peck.
You wiped some of your cum off of his wet chin with your thumb and held it up to his mouth which he gladly sucked on. He grinned at you afterward and fixed your skirt for you.
The silence was soothing because frankly, neither of you knew what to say. It left you speechless, but that could just be the aftereffect of your climax.
The night was beginning to close in sooner than either of you wanted it to. You two just talked, truly catching up on the past four years. He was a lot funnier than you remembered, your cheeks were aching from how much he was making you laugh.
"You are a real gentleman, Joel Miller. What can I say? Dinner and an orgasm?!"
He lifted you up from your spot on the couch and pulled you into his lap so that you were straddling him. "I don't have to be," he murmured against your lips. His fingers flexed into your feverish skin, holding you upright and close by. He chased you with his lips until you finally let him kiss you. "Be honest with me... Did you really think I was handsome in high school?"
Your face grew warm and you hid behind your hands in embarrassment. "Oh, my God."
"Why are you actin' all shy now?"
"Because you weren’t supposed to know about that."
"Know about what exactly?"
You crossed your arms, deciding to let him win this time. "You want details?"
He smirked and leaned back to get more comfortable.
"Well... I used to lie and tell my friends that we fucked," you admitted.
"Really?" Despite his surprise the smirk never left his face. If anything it grew wider.
You sheepishly nodded. "I used to tell them how good you were. Everything you would do to me."
"What would I do to you?" His cock was already throbbing against his jeans, and just like every other time, he ignored it.
"You would fuck me up against the wall," you explained. "Sometimes, you would bend me over the edge of the bed and spank me for being naughty. Or just 'cause you felt like it. I'd even tell them about how you played with my ass so gently because you didn't want to hurt me."
Every word went straight to his dick, making it jerk and prod your thigh.
"Maybe I do need to bend you over and spank you for all that lyin' you were doin'. Your friends probably think I'm some creep now," he said; his tone wasn’t scolding or cold. He sounded thirsty for more of you. Like his throat had already run dry despite how much of you he drank earlier.
"I'd tell them the truth, but if I were to do that now then I'd be lying again," you whispered against his lips.
"We certainly cannot have you spreadin' no more dirty lies, now. Can we?"
-
Read Part 2 here.
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reiderwriter · 29 days
Note
hey, i really love your writing esp fluff hehe..
I was wondering if you could maybe write a story where gf!reader has anxiety and decides to spend night at spence's but constantly keeps apologizing cause she is like afraid to be inconvenience but he keeps hugging and comforting her just some really fluffy story
Love yaaaa🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶💕💕
-🍓
A/N: FINALLY getting back to some classic requests! Thanks for this cute one 🥰 I love fluff where Spencer is so caring and considerate, so I hope you like this one, too!
Summary: After a traumatic experience, you avoid confronting new fears with your new coworkers until a late invitation lets you find comfort in Spencer's arms.
Warnings: mentions of kidnapping, guns, other cases details etc.
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If any other member of your team had so bluntly asked you the question ‘are you okay?’ you'd have lied to their face, convincingly, and not felt bad about it for even a second. 
It had been, after all, long enough since your kidnapping to have become comfortable with new surroundings again. You went on cases fine. You dealt with similar unsubs perfectly, and you were absolutely a professional. 
But with Spencer Reid in front of you asking you that same question, you felt like you were one slight breeze away from crumbling entirely. 
The night had grown old as you sat with Spencer looking over some case files. You weren't shipping out for this one, thankfully, but you still wanted to be sure you knew every detail of the case so you could help find your guy and get him off the streets. 
But having worked from 6 pm to 2am, your eyes were growing bleary, and you had to finally look up to the clock to see how long you'd been zoned out for. 
“Shit,” you murmured, wiping the sleep from your eyes. 
“I have to go, Spence,” you scrambled for your keys, pulling your bag onto your shoulder as your heart started beating. 
It was okay. You'd be okay. It was dark outside, but you'd driven in the dark before now. The roads were clear anyway, and you weren't on a job. You could drive home, get some sleep, and forget anything happened. 
“Y/N, it's late, you’re tired,” Spencer said gently from opposite you, grabbing your bag from your hands and gently placing it down again. “It's okay, you can just… stay over tonight.” 
In the few weeks since you'd been kidnapped, you'd told everyone you knew that you were okay and doing fine and that it would take a lot more than that to get you down. And then you'd go home to an empty apartment, triple check every lock, barricade yourself into your room, and sleep with a gun on your bedside table and a knife under your pillow. 
You didn't drive in the dark. You didn't eat or drink anything you hadn't personally prepared, and you didn't dive head first into cases anymore. A few people had remarked about how you'd matured as an agent. They didn't understand that bile rose up in your throat every time you thought about being alone in a room with men. 
Being alone with Spencer was different. He was your Spencer. You'd seen him kill unsubs, but you'd more often see him peacefully trap and release spiders instead of killing them. You'd seen him fumble talking to women by pulling out magic tricks, just as often as you'd seen him be approached by every single working girl you'd interviewed on a case. 
You'd slept over before. This wasn't any different. 
“Yeah… yeah  you're right. It's probably not a good idea to drive this late.” 
He smiled at you as you abandoned your path to the door, and went to grab you some clothes to change into. You paused, and tried to breathe deeply as you assessed the situation. 
You'd been to Spencer's apartment before. If you slept in the living room, your best route out would be the front door. The kitchen didn't have any good exits. The bathroom window didn't open wide enough. The fire escape was connected to both the living room and the window in Spencer's bedroom. If anyone came through the front door, it would be safer to sleep in the bed and jump out the window before they had a chance to pursue you. 
But if they came up the fire escape, they could choose between which window to come through. Without a second thought, you crossed to Spencer's window and checked the locks. They worked, but they were old. They could easily be forced open. 
You checked, and you still had your gun on you, thinking about where the best place to store it would be. Next to the bed, under the sofa, somewhere it'd be easy to grab and shoot. 
You worked yourself up walking yourself through your plan that when Spencer came up behind you again, without thinking, you turned the gun on him.  
“Whoa, Y/N!” 
“I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I don't - I was just thinking about what I would do in a h-home invasion, and it seemed safer to have the gun close, but-” 
Slowly taking the gun from your hand, Spencer pulled you towards him and into his arms. 
“Are you okay?” he asked again, and though it was the 100th time you'd heard the question in the last few weeks, you finally, finally broke down and told him the truth. 
“N-No.” 
Stroking your hair, Spencer held you as you began to quietly sob, not pulling away as you clung to him for dear life, letting the fear slowly drain from your body. 
“It's okay. It's going to be okay, I'm here,” he whispered. After a few minutes, you gathered yourself and pulled away, wiping your eyes as you looked up at him again. 
“I'm sorry, I must just be really tired. I'll just crash on the couch-” 
“No, Y/N, you can't do that.”
“It's fine, I'm fine now. I've crashed on your couch before, and-” 
“And the couch is next to the door. You're going to sit there all night with your gun in your hand, waiting for the door handle to turn. You won't rest.” 
You opened your mouth to retort, but he grabbed your hand and led you to the bedroom again. 
“I know what it's like, not being able to sleep at night. Feeling anxious and alone and scared all the time.” 
He handed you a pile of clothes and let you sit on the bed as he began to untie your shoelaces. 
“Sleep in the bed. The window has a secure lock, and it's covered by the alarm system. The bedroom door locks as well." Finishing, he looked up at you from the floor, smiling weakly before standing up and pressing a kiss to your temple. 
Your heart, which had been resting comfortably with the new details of your security, flared up into a fast-paced drum beat again as he left for the bathroom. You weren't sure if you were scared still, or if somehow a small kiss and care he'd shown you were enough to have you flushed like a middle-schooler. 
You quickly slipped on the pajamas, which you recognised as old FBI training clothes, and hopped into the bed before your brain could decide to investigate any further. 
Spencer returned quickly and climbed into bed right beside you, turning off the lights beforehand. 
“Thank you,” you whispered, looking at him as you laid on your side. 
“What for?” 
“For not making this awkward.” 
“Awkward? Is it weird for us to share the bed? Should I have taken the couch? I should have taken the couch, let me go-” 
You leant over the small space between you and wrapped your arms around him.
“Thank you for not letting me spiral. Thank you for letting me be not okay.” 
He relaxed into your touch as you spoke and pulled you into him for a hug quickly. His hands rested awkwardly still on your shoulders and waist, as if he were scared to touch you more, to seem inappropriate somehow. 
“Spencer?” 
“Hmm?”
“I think I'd feel safer if you just held me a bit tighter.”
With your head on his chest, you heard the short rumble of laughter that popped out of him as he relaxed into your hug, closing your eyes and falling asleep to the sound of his heart beating. 
485 notes · View notes
ezdotjpg · 4 months
Note
Hi!!! Sorry if you've been asked this before but is it possible for you to summarize the Bonus Links' personalities? Just asking because I'd like to get a general idea, apologies if this is too much of a pain to answer 😭🫶🏻
hey! luckily I already wrote up character intros a while back that I never posted to tumblr lol, so I'll go ahead and post them now! under the cut since this is mega long lol
Loft
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Skyward Sword
Age: 22
Height: 5’3”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: World’s Nicest Man Pushed To His Limit. It’s his nature to be light-hearted and easy-going, but ever since the events of Skyward Sword he’s been unable to let the implications of Demise’s curse and Zelda’s connection to Hylia go. He’s usually mild, but he’s got a lot of suppressed anger in him that comes out at inopportune times. He tends towards being optimistic, but has lately been caught in a depressive spiral. As a result of all these conflicting emotions, he hasn’t felt like himself in a while. Before everything, he could have been described as a little bit lazy, but these days a better word would be lethargic. He’s got a mischievous and thrill-seeking streak that often surprises people. He knows he’s powerful, but he’s lost some confidence in the years since his quest. He’s wracked with guilt about the way everything ended.
Slate
Pronouns: tends to use he/him, but really any
Game: Breath of the Wild (ignoring TotK for now)
Age: 21
Height: 5’0”
Communication: Mainly signs, speaks occasionally
Personality: The Reviews Are In: Friendly Guy, Vaguely Off-Putting. He knows he’s not pre-calamity Link, but he’s not exactly sure what he is instead. He’s accepted this about himself, and it grinds his gears that other people refuse to. He’s not sure what to do with all these memories inside him that aren’t his, and that he feels nothing for. He’s become more expressive, but when he’s upset his face goes entirely blank. He has a tendency to be distracted, blunt, intense, impulsive, somewhat abrasive. But he’s not unkind, and can even be outright friendly. He’d offer his help to anyone who asks, and he makes it a point to know everyone in Hyrule. He’s happiest out in nature, and doesn’t mind the solitude. He only ever lies by omission, and otherwise says exactly what he means. There’s something a little otherworldly about him.
Mask
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask
Age: 15
Height: 5’2½”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: Local Teen Needs Hug So Bad, Will Bite If You Try. He’s prickly, hot-tempered, moody. He’ll pick verbal battles he probably shouldn’t. Everything is a touchy subject. But he’s developed this behavior as a coping mechanism. He’s kind by nature, and it takes effort to lash out. The person he is with Malon- gentle, more soft-spoken, with a good sense of humor and a love for harmless mischief- is a lot closer to the person he’s comfortable being. He’s a scared kid. He feels out of place, both mature and immature, of this world and not. Sometimes, he gets scrambled between Termina, the Hyrule he’s in now, the Hyrule he left behind, and the Hyrule of the war. He has a lot of resentment for both the gods and the royal family, and all he wants is to be left alone.
Wolf
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Twilight Princess
Age: 23
Height: 5’5”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: Thank God I’m A Country Boy. He’s a gentle soul, probably the gentlest out of all of them. He likes to be useful, and he has made being the problem solver of Ordon Village part of his identity. He’s a bit of a mother hen and likes to take care of people. Midna was good at bringing out a little bit of attitude and snark in him. He’s got a bad case of Resting Bitch Face, but he’s not an angry person. However, he’s had a hard time adjusting to life back in Ordon. He’s usually even-tempered, but lately he’s been irritable and easier to anger. He feels isolated by his experiences, and has been avoiding most of the villagers, including his loved ones, even though it makes him lonely. Mostly he just doesn’t want to take it out on them, but it’s also about his pride. He enjoys the company of animals far more these days. He wants a quiet life, and has been avoiding Zelda's attempts to make "Hero" a political role for him to fill.
War
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Hyrule Warriors
Age: 25
Height: 5’7”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally, had Proxi speak for him at one point during the war
Personality: Link “This Is My Jaeger, I Make The Tactical Decisions” Faron. He comes across as a very charming young man, witty, helpful, pleasant in conversation, well-adjusted. In reality, he is constantly doing complicated political 4D chess in his mind at all times, even when it’s not necessary. Many years of being subject to the whims of the Royal Court and pressure to be a perfect symbol have poisoned him: he’s become calculating, manipulative, superficially polite, two-faced. He has to be the one holding all the cards, considering all the variables, fixing all of the problems, because he can’t trust anyone else. If you were to strip him of all pretense, he'd actually be a dry, resigned person, perpetually annoyed with everyone around him. He values status and reputation, and he wants more power than he has. His appearance is important to him because he knows his pretty face is an asset. He holds deep respect for the gods and the mantle of the hero. He has a strong sense of duty, but one that often leads him to justify terrible actions. The ends justify the means.
Mirror
Pronouns: he/they
Game: A Link Between Worlds, Triforce Heroes
Age: 22
Height: 5’1”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: Local Link Doing Pretty Well Actually, All Things Considered. He’s just living his life, having a mostly pleasant time. He used to be quiet and reserved when he was younger, but has come out of his shell in a big way. He’s a bit vain, and fond of doing things with a dramatic flair. They like to have an audience, they like to make people laugh, they like to have your attention. Rather than being poisoned by court politics, he thrives in them. He doesn’t pretend to be charming, he just is. They can be on the arrogant side. He’s interested in fashion and art more than fighting these days, but still keeps his skills up to date. He pretends the scar on his face doesn’t bother him, but it does. He’s particularly obsessed with the legend of the hero before him.
Mage
Pronouns: he/him
Game: A Link to the Past, Link’s Awakening, Oracle of Ages, Oracle of Seasons
Age: 32
Height: 5’3”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: Weird Uncle You Just Stopped Hearing From One Day. He’s a difficult guy to get a read on. He comes off as deeply serious, imposing, no-nonsense. He is actually full of nonsense. The fact that no one can tell what is and isn’t part of the bit is part of the bit. He mostly ignores his own problems by dedicating his life to solving other people’s problems. He wanders from place to place, helping people and becoming a bit of a larger than life folk legend in his own right in the process. He’s leaned into learning magic more than the sword, and has built up quite the arsenal of spells. He doesn’t speak often, and is content to let other Links lead despite being the oldest and the most experienced. He’s difficult to rile and even more difficult to get a straight answer out of.
Spirit
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Spirit Tracks
Age: 16
Height: 4’11”
Communication: Mainly signs, speaks occasionally. He has a stutter when he speaks.
Personality: Wants To Be Anywhere But Here, Preferably On A Train. He’s fully given up swordfighting, and basically just wants to go back to being a Royal Engineer like nothing happened. He has no interest in gaining any kind of attention, authority, or power from the mantle of the hero, and would actually prefer that everyone stop looking at him. He’s quiet, sweet-natured and generally non-confrontational, but he’s not afraid to stand up for himself when pushed. It’s just that it’s easier to let Zelda stand up for him instead. He’s pretty mature and in-tune with his emotions for a 16 year old. Seeing spirits everywhere, he has a lot of private thoughts about grief and death that he doesn’t share with anyone. The gears in his brain are constantly turning, and once he’s stuck on an idea, it’s all he can focus on. He often doesn’t give himself enough credit for how capable he is. Please let him tell you about trains.
Mini
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Minish Cap
Age: 14
Height: 4’3”
Communication: Only signs, mute.
Personality: He’s Just A Little Guy, Only 2 Pixels Tall. Mini doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do. He’s not very expressive in the face, and it can be hard to tell what he’s thinking or feeling. Mostly, he’s a little rascal. He likes to root around in the garbage and build strange little machines from what he finds. He spends a lot of time hanging out with the Minish, moreso than humans. It’s a little bit of an escapism thing. He hasn’t really processed what it meant to become the hero so young, and is actively trying to avoid doing so. He’s very independent, and simply doesn’t compute attempts to coddle him.
Wake
Pronouns: he/him
Game: Wind Waker, Phantom hourglass
Age: 20
Height: 5’5”
Communication: Mainly speaks, signs occasionally
Personality: Everyone’s Favorite Cousin At The Family Function. He’s a fun person to be around. Friendly, energetic, laid back, good-natured, outgoing. He is always up for a good shenanigan. But he can get serious when he needs to, and often plays the important role of mediator in group dynamics. He’s the glue that holds the team together! He seems to take everything in stride, and presents himself as unbothered by the things that have happened to him. Whether that’s actually true, or he’s just compartmentalized everything too well remains to be seen. He has a strange way of being very open, and yet a closed book at the same time. He’s sentimental, and family is important to him
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xxsabitoxx · 5 months
Text
xxSabitoxx is now archived. 
After some heavy consideration over the last few months, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to be archiving xxSabitoxx. 
I have poured nearly three years of my life into this blog. I have seen several friends come and go. And most of all, I have been blessed with such a large following that I truly don’t deserve. 
However, my love for writing has slowly diminished, just as my love for this site has. I am not going to go into boring detail as I do not want it to seem like I am searching for pity.
But, before I go, it has been brought to my attention that many are displeased with the way I handled a particular anon ask last week. I wanted to take a second to apologize, as I agree that I could have answered that question much more level-headed and maturely. It has since been deleted because I did not like the way I was spoken to, and I especially disliked the way I spoke to them. 
I could have responded to that ask in several ways and I chose to be rude, and for that I am sorry. 
With that being said, I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs on Tumblr over the last decade under a few other usernames and aliases. I’ve witnessed the steady dumpster-fire decline of Tumblr etiquette and people's genuine disregard for others on here.
I am simply one person with a life outside of the stories I choose to write. I have several priorities that will always outweigh my hobbies.
After all this time, I can say I am finally done. I’m over it. There is no point in putting effort into a hobby I no longer have a passion for. So I am closing this chapter today to start fresh tomorrow.
I cannot begin to thank you all enough for choosing to read my work and support my blog. Whether you’ve been with me since the start or just followed me today, you supported me in some way and I’m forever thankful for that. 
I’m deeply sorry I couldn’t do more, and I am especially sorry for those who were waiting on stories that will never be written. I hope you can forgive me but I understand if you can’t. 
It has been both a wonderful and terrible journey as xxSabitoxx / May. And as much as I would love to be done with this and simply click the “delete blog” button in my settings – I know many of you enjoy the stories I’ve posted and quite frankly I have grown attached to this blog as well. 
So, it shall remain an archive that may one day revive itself but please do not hold your breath. If the day comes that I decide it’s time to delete this blog, I will take the time to move as much of my work as I can over to ao3 before doing so. 
So, until we meet again, take care.
- May
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denwritesandcries · 2 months
Text
Later you'll laugh about this – H.C
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing: loser!hazel x fem!reader
Summary: Later you would say that you only got into this stupid situation because of a cotton candy. PJ and a cotton candy. A goddamn cotton candy you bought for Hazel Callahan.
Word count: 4,3k.
Content: cursing, fake dating, pining, kinda angst, insecure!loser!hazel, toxic situationships, dialogues. lots of dialogues, reader having a beef with pj, idiots in love.
Note: This fic is supposed to have 3 chapters, I didn’t mean it to be so long but I couldn't stop adding new things to the story and now it's a series cause it got out of control. So basically, Hazel is a loser and the reader is a loser for her. That's it. That's the plot.
English is not my first language.
>>
Coming across Hazel's sad face pressed against the precariously clean table you always sat at in the cafeteria, with her puppy eyes seeming to wander forlornly every damn day was becoming really depressing.
“I… I simply don’t understand.” Hazel starts and you let out a tired sigh when you turn your head to follow her gaze and find PJ gesturing to Josie in the lunch line, because of course she would be talking about this. Again. “It’s been weeks since the game and she just acts like nothing happened between us.”
Stella-Rebecca squeezes her shoulder in solidarity and you all exchange a knowing look without her noticing. None of this is really new, but it's getting more and more painful to watch now.
“I thought she liked me too, but lately she’s just acting like…”
You sip your juice audibly, absentmindedly nibbling on the straw in the box: “A bitch?”
Hazel gasps in alarm, “I wasn’t going to say that!”
You notice Sylvie stifle an incredulous laugh next to her as Isabel scolds you with a slap on the shoulder.
“Ouch! 'M sorry, Haze, but we've talked about this before.” You say gently, brushing aside a strand of dark hair that has fallen on her face. “PJ is a bitch. She's a bitch to everyone who's not Josie and especially to you, it's always been like this. You can do better.”
“Like who?” she whines and you huff.
Maybe it might seem a little rude the way you're talking now, but Hazel is your best friend and you've been having this conversation for months, even before the fight club, and it seemed impossible to give her any advice and talk some sense into her head. After the game with the big fight against Huntington and your group of friends grew, things only got worse, because now there are finally more people to hear about her longtime passion.
It turns out that there is no one to listen to you about your long-time passion for her.
It's ridiculous, sitting here next to your best friend, listening to her talk about another girl. The girl she likes.
Still, all you really take into consideration is the way her eyes shine against the sunlight streaming in through the windows, the way her hair falls in thick, unruly locks across her face, the way she rolls up her sleeve of the colorful jacket wrapped nervously around her wrist and the dreamy, yearning tone of voice with which she speaks so desperately about what ails her.
Isabel turns her attention to Hazel, looking almost apologetic: “Y/N is right. You have a crush on her since, what, third grade? And she’s being a bitch with you even after you guys made out in front of, like, the entire town.”
Annie leaned on her elbows to join in the conversation, holding a half-bitten apple in her hand indignantly: “She’s literally acting like a straight guy!”
Everyone at the table looked at her at that.
“What? It's true! She’s giving all those confusing signs: sticking her tongue on your throat after barely apologizing for calling your mom a whore, being nice with you for a while and then getting right back to her bitch act without giving you a word about it.” Annie rolled her eyes, “Aren’t gay people supposed to be more mature than that or whatever?”
Hazel shrank even more in place: “Guys, please.”
“Girl, what are you even talking about—”
“You could, you know…” You rest your chin on your palm, “Ask her what you guys are.”
Hazel seemed to suffer in anticipation just imagining this, “I don't want her to move further away and stop being my friend by insinuating anything. I just wanted her to be nicer.”
You shrug, looking away from her tiredly to unwrap your grilled cheese, “Then I’m afraid everything will stay exactly as it is, sweetheart.”
“Yeah, way to show some self-respect, Haze.” Annie added sarcastically.
Hazel dropped her weight back against the table, putting her face in her hands dramatically and you silenced everyone when you saw Josie and PJ coming towards the table, pulling Hazel a little closer and putting your arm around her back to push her away when PJ sat on the other side of her.
You change the subject quickly and you choose to ignore the look Isabel and Brittany exchange as Hazel gratefully leans into your touch.
“Why are you whining like that?” PJ asks, looking disdainfully at the scene. “Aren’t you going to eat anything?”
You thought you could get through the rest of the day, or at least your lunch, without any more arguments, but that unfortunately doesn't seem to be the case.
“Leave her alone, PJ.”
Hazel sighed, finally sitting up straight to cast a disgusted expression at the tray in front of her.
“I would,” she said, “but now my fries are all cold and limp and the texture gives me shivers.”
Already feeling another nasty comment coming, you decide to interrupt quickly, shrugging: “I’ll trade you for my grilled cheese.”
Hazel immediately brightens: “Really?”
You can't regret your impulsive decision when she looks so cute like this, pushing the package towards her and giving a little smirk in response to PJ's annoyed look.
“Yep,” you highlight the P at the end of the word, “I'm sure.”
Mind you, it's not that you hate the girl exactly. It's just that you hate the way she treats your best friend, which makes you not like being around her most of the time.
And maybe – just maybe – you're a little bitter, because you make a point of giving her a smug look from across the table to the sound of Hazel's excited exclamation of 'you're the best!'.
Your lunch goes without a hitch other than your sad fries and Isabel's eyes burning holes in your head and you're happy to remain quiet and listen to your friends talk for the rest of the time.
Isabel still looks thoughtful when the bell rings and everyone starts to leave for their respective classes. Luckily, the two of you shared the next period, so you could just go ahead and ask her if she had anything to say.
…Which ended up not being necessary, as Isabel pulled you aside with Hazel as soon as she said goodbye to Josie while you looked at each other in confusion as you were suddenly practically dragged through the hallways under Hazel's protests because that was definitely not the way for her to go to class – and your own too because, damn, the cheerleader had a surprisingly strong grip on your arm.
“Isabel, what the hell are you doing?” You ask, perplexed and worried, narrowly avoiding bumping into a random kid carrying a stack of books.
“You know, Hazel, about your problem,” she blatantly ignores you, “if you want PJ to actually choose to be with you and ask you out for real, you could, like, just make her jealous.”
You don’t know why you’re hearing that, “What?”
Isabel shrugged, “It worked for me and Josie, and we know they think kinda alike.”
Hazel stopped abruptly in the middle of the hallway, interested: “I’m listening.”
“Oh man.” You groaned.
Your head is hurting just at the concept of such an absurd idea, with the three of you standing in the empty hallway, talking about some crazy plan.
“Josie only made a real move on me when she saw me getting back with Jeff,” Isabel grimace in disgust as she recalled, “She got all tearful and jealous when the group broke up and I started ignoring her. That made her act.”
Hazel seemed to drink in every word of what she said, nodding her head at the reasoning as Isabel explained it as if it were the most logical thing possible.
You leaned your head against a locker behind you, crossing your arms around your body defensively. If Isabel brought you along for the conversation, it's because you're definitely part of what she's planning.
“And you didn’t bring this up when we were all arguing about it because…?” You asked.
“I would have said something sooner, but you two were so busy having a moment that I didn't want to interrupt.”
You gave the finger to the sound of Isabel's laughter and Hazel dismissed what she said with a gesture, even though you noticed how red her face turned.
“This is so stupid.”
“It’s brilliant!” Hazel grabbed your shoulder, shaking it excitedly, “It might actually work! What do you have in mind?"
Isabel shrugged, “You just have to, like, get someone to make out sometimes and show it to her face.”
“Like…?” Hazel asked, not understanding what she was getting at.
But you did.
“Like her,” she pointed at you.
“Oh.”
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
“Oh, but no freaking way!” you exclaimed, face burning with embarrassment, “Don’t bring me into this. It’s not my problem!”
“But didn’t you want to help her?” Isabel asked, sounding too innocent and you realized that this was what she had been planning from the beginning.
“Yeah, with advice!”
This is stupid. This is really so stupid. You should have been in class for a good few minutes now, paying attention to anything on the board and counting down the remaining hours so you could put it all away and leave, because it was Friday, there were no club meetings to be at and it was your movie night with Hazel. That shouldn't change.
“No, she’s right.” Hazel walked in between you, shaking her head in denial: “It’s not happening. I thought about, like, flirting with someone in front of her, maybe making up a date or something.”
“PJ’s not gonna buy this. You, suddenly showing up with someone new? Very desperately obvious.” Isabel pointed out, “Besides, just flirting with someone probably won’t hold her attention long enough.”
She was right. Isabel was painfully right and you knew it. You two, by the way Hazel's expression changed. By the way she seemed to be seriously considering it.
“But I,” she stammered, “I can’t just ask someone to do that for me and use them like that.”
You took a deep breath, “Thank you!”
Isabel cast one last glance between you, before finally raising her hands in yield, “Well, it was only a suggestion. It's just that you guys already act like a couple anyway so I thought it would make more sense.”
She turns and resumes her walk down the now completely empty hallway – only now do you wonder where the hell the monitors were –, leaving you and Hazel standing there like idiots with distraught expressions, before shouting over her shoulder:
“At least it would be more convincing!”
Your movie night starts late and turns into a sleepover because you all got detention for being so late to your periods and now it's too late to be worth going home anyway, so you stay.
In all the years you've known each other, you've slept at Hazel's house more times than you can count as much as she has at yours, you know this huge place inside out. It's like your own home too. There's nothing weird about curling up in her ridiculously large bed, wearing an old sweatshirt you left there and a pair of sleep shorts she lent you, pulling the covers up so they wrap around you perfectly, and getting as close as possible with her laptop between you, playing some animation on it. Is not strange. It's familiar, it's recurring.
Except it isn't.
There's a tension, a slightly awkward silence that has hung between you since you left school and were alone for the first time since that conversation, that damn conversation, that leaves you nervous and upset with the expectation that something horrible is about to happen and change everything between you. Because Hazel seemed too quiet and thoughtful for someone who wouldn't do anything.
God, you don't like this, this stillness and how it affects you. You don't like how you can't help but notice the way her shoulder presses against yours every time she takes a slow, deep breath, how warm and soft her arm feels where it touches your skin, and how comforting is the weight of her chin resting on your shoulder. You hate it even more to see the soft features of her face illuminated by the blue light of the screen, making you squirm nervously because Hazel is all you can focus on.
And the thing you hate most, without a doubt, is the fact that she must not have noticed any of these things, nor your behavior in general. There's no reason to do it, nothing should be strange to her. Because she doesn't like you that way.
You don't pay attention to a single minute of the movie until it's over and Hazel is moving to turn off her laptop, snapping you out of that trance you've put yourself in without realizing it. She gives you a smile and stretches her arms above her head, tired.
The two of you exchange a few words as you get ready for bed, getting around the elephant in the room, and then you're in bed again, this time without any lights, Hazel staring at the star-decorated ceiling and you with your back turned to her, fidgeting for what feels like the thousandth time and trying your best not to make things even more awkward. Anyway, you can't sleep, even with the tiredness of the day and you know she can't either.
“Hey,” Hazel calls out to you in the darkness, her sleepy voice suddenly startling you. “It was, uhm, really crazy what Isabel suggested, right?”
“Yeah,” You replied hesitantly, turning to her to see what she was getting at: “But you can’t stop thinking about it.”
She hums in agreement to her statement and turns to you as well, keeping her eyes on the sheet.
“It’s just that it seemed too good to pass up the opportunity, you know?” Hazel's hand traces meaningless patterns on the fabric, “As if in those fanfics and books where these things happen, the couple always ends up together and, I don't know, I guess I just felt like I was finally going to give a step and do something about it.”
The way she looks so upset and frustrated breaks your heart and you resist the urge to move even closer and take her hands in yours, seeing Hazel sad feels terribly wrong no matter how many times. You want to help solve her problem. You wish the problem didn't even exist in the first place, but man.
It would be so, so much easier to just be a good friend and support her if you didn't have these stupid feelings bottled up in your chest. Make crazy plans, smile and wave and encourage her to chase the person she wants. It would be enough.
“Things will work out, Haze.” You say it instead, because saying whatever is going on in your head right now might just make everything worse.
“You're right,” she turned around again, gesturing with her hands nervously: “I probably wouldn't even be that good of a girlfriend anyway. I wouldn't know how to plan dates or give gifts, or act all cool and smooth when I'm with her. What if I'm too embarrassing? What if she found me too annoying and ended up breaking up with me?! I think that would be worse. Being romantic seems so hard.”
“I think it should be something unconscious if it’s with someone you really love,” you shrugged, playing with a loose thread on your clothes, “But, no, you’re not like that. I mean, I think you'd be more of the kind of girlfriend who makes thousands of kind gestures to show that she cares without even noticing it, like, writing notes, opening doors, bringing flowers or something. At least I’d like to get flowers, I don’t know.”
Hazel turned her head to you, meeting your gaze hesitantly, with eyes so bright and hopeful that your heart swelled so much it could pop out of your chest at any second.
"You really think so?"
"Yes." You sigh, “Yes, I’m sure.”
The weekend had been relatively peaceful, with you having returned home by the morning after a very bad night of sleep that you spent mainly staring at the ceiling with Hazel sleeping next to you, the rest of the day passed in a blur and now it was Sunday night.
Sunday night and you and your friends were all gathered at the city fair, some event organized purely because there weren't many other ways to entertain yourself living in a small place like that, but there was a lot of junk food and stupid games to spend your money on, so of course everyone always went to it.
Everyone except Hazel, apparently, since she's late and you and your friends are all gathered together, waiting for her. Oh, and there's a cotton candy almost melting in your hand from where you're leaning against Brittany's fancy car.
Later you would say that you only got into this stupid situation because of a cotton candy; PJ and a cotton candy. A goddamn cotton candy you bought for Hazel Callahan.
“Hi, lads!” And there it is the source of your teenage angst.
One look and you know there's something wrong with Hazel. You haven't seen her since that night, but she seems a little distraught, panting and with her hands resting on her knees from running up to you.
“Finally!” Sylvie exclaims, fixing the beanie over her head, “The fair started already, I want to go before they take all the good prizes from the game stalls.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hold you guys here,” she waves awkwardly and the group dismisses without further comment, you all heading towards the colorful event.
You walk beside her, noticing how nervous and distracted she looks, eyes focused on the floor and hands twirling the rings between her fingers. She doesn't seem to have noticed your presence.
“You're late.” You say, without the expected bite because you're honestly more worried than angry right now.
She squeaks in fright, making some of your friends look over the shoulders to check on you. She recovers quickly, however:
“No, I'm Haze.”
You let out a nasal laugh at the completely adorable, stupid, and alarmed expression on her face. Of course she would answer something like that.
“Here,” you hold out the candy toward her, trying your best to appear indifferent. “I got you one before the line got too long.”
Her jaw dropped a little before breaking out into a shiny smile: “Oh, you've got my favorite!”
You shrug, “Just don’t let anyone throw it away this time.”
“I won’t.” Hazel swears.
She seems to be strangely close to you as you walk together, shoulders side by side, your hand would probably brush hers if it weren't properly hidden in your pockets and Hazel still has that nervous look of someone who has something to say.
You turn your head to her when your friends decide to stop on a stand, frowning and placing a hand on her arm gently.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” You ask and she gulps.
“Yes, uhm,” she clears her throat, shifting her weight from one leg to the other, “It’s just that I really wanted to ask you a favor.”
For a moment you don't even think twice about it, leaning back on her playfully.
"A favor? You know I don't do anything for free Haze,” you smirk, patting her on the shoulder, “Win me a stuffed animal or a goldfish and maybe I'll consider it.”
She doesn't smile and respond wittily like you expect, instead she looks even more shy, shrugging her shoulders as if she wants to disappear and folding her hands comically with the cotton candy behind her back.
“Look, I know we’ve already talked about this, but please.”
Oh, so it's about that then. Seriously.
“Haze,” you sigh.
“Please,” she repeats, “I just need you to—”
And that's when things derail out of your control.
“Guys,” Josie waves, pointing to the others, “let's go before Sylvie picks a fight with the stand dude.”
You hadn't even realized how long you spent standing around talking, but now PJ is staring at you, looking somehow uncomfortable.
“Are you done flirting there? We have more things to do, you know.” She points indifferently.
Hazel looks pleased for a moment, a determined look covering her face, which makes you suddenly nervous. A determined Hazel is an impulsive Hazel.
You clear your throat, “We weren’t.”
PJ rolls her eyes at your response and then she approaches, with Josie watching the exchange hesitantly before taking a step back and resigning herself to returning to her girlfriend, lucky girl.
PJ is too close, in a way that makes that bitter, unfair feeling come back to you, she reaches out to grab Hazel's cotton candy, just like she did at the last fair you all went to.
Except this time Hazel stops her from doing it.
“Hey, don’t.” She takes the candy out of her reach easily, looking upset, “Y/N gave it to me.”
"So what?" PJ protests angrily, “You act like she's your girlfriend or something.”
Oh god.
Hazel looks deep into PJ's eyes for a moment and whatever she was looking for in her expression, she seems to find exactly what she wanted.
“That—”
Oh my fucking god, this was exactly the opportunity Hazel had been waiting for. The opportunity to make an impulsive decision that may or not ruin your friendship.
“—Is because she is.”
You look at her in alarm, grabbing her free hand and squeezing in warning, which perhaps wasn't a smart choice of action for what you wanted to avoid.
“What?” PJ flicks her gaze between you and your hands repeatedly, as if she didn’t expect such a turn of events, “What?”
Hazel lifts her chin and pulls you closer, as if challenging her indignation, but you see the exact moment her breath hitches as you open your mouth to question all of this, her eyes meet yours, nervous and pleading, begging you to just play along.
And then, because that girl in front of you is annoying as fuck, because your best friend is convincing you with her sad puppy eyes, and because you spent 8 dollars on some stupid cotton candy, you stay quiet and let PJ think whatever she wants.
“Fine,” she huffs and turns around, “Whatever.”
You feel Hazel trembling slightly against your grip and she sighs audibly in relief when PJ finally leaves.
“Dude,” her shoulders slump tensely, “Thank yo—”
“Dude?” You repeat in disbelief, dragging her behind the nearest empty corner, “What the fuck were you thinking about?”
Hazel flinches at the sound of your screams, letting go of your hand instinctively, the false confidence from seconds ago immediately disappearing.
“I panicked!” she exclaims.
You inhale deeply, “Haze, I told you not to get me involved in this.”
“I know, I'm sorry,” she looks away, completely embarrassed and you notice that she inevitably dropped the candy along the way as she reaches her hands out to grab both of yours. They're cold and sweaty against your skin.
You know she didn't mean any wrong and you can't stay mad at her anyway.
“Why didn’t you talk to me again before making a scene like that?” You ask, as softly as you can.
"I was trying! That's what I was going to ask you. I—” She lets out, “Ineedyoutobemygirlfriendforawhileplease!”
It came out too quickly and all as if it was a single word, but you're sure you didn't get it wrong.
Hazel keeps talking to stop you from protesting – which is exactly what you were about to do –, letting go of your hands and gesturing:
“I had even prepared a speech to convince you that it was actually a good idea, seriously! It would only be for a while, just a little. But I was desperate because earlier Stella-Rebecca told me that Josie told Isabel that PJ is interested in that short cheerleader who just joined the club and I wanted to cry because I'm losing my chance and wha—”
“Haze, sweetheart,” you interrupt, grabbing her shoulders to stop her, “Slow down, okay?”
She mumbles another silent apology, squeezing the rings between her fingers and you don't know what to do. There's a warm feeling in the pit of your stomach from when Hazel pulled you close earlier, almost protectively, when she stated that yes, you two were a thing, and for a moment you think about being able to have moments like that with her every day, in her acting like this around your friends and you showering each other with affection all the time and a yearning in the back of your mind to show her that you could actually be a good partner for her.
“It was… it was pretty ridiculous, my speech,” she begins again, “I was going to say something like 'come on, don't you want to think about this a few years from now and be able to laugh and brag about how you were the one who helped put together your friend with her crush like that?'” Hazel chuckles awkwardly, “But I think it sounds too arrogant.”
Hazel tugs at the sleeves of her sweater anxiously when you don't answer, it's been getting a little cold lately and she's wearing the sweater you gave her for her birthday last year. You feel yourself giving faster than you could think.
“You know I wouldn’t ask that to hurt you, right?” she questions hesitantly and you instantly know it's true. “I just wanted to show that I’m worth it.”
You sigh, defeated, “You’re worth it, Haze.”
Hazel looks at you hopefully as you take her hand, intertwining your fingers and pulling her into the crowd.
"Let's do this." You agree.
Screw it. Maybe you'll laugh about this later.
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indecisive-capricorn · 6 months
Text
Yandere Cullens Family's Reactions to You Attempting to Escape:
WARNINGS: Yandere, running away, mature language, manipulation, toxic relationship, gaslighting, etc.
SUMMARY: You tried to run away from your kidnapper lover but your attempt failed and now you have to face the consequences of your actions. Problem is, how will your beloved yandere react to it and what are the punishments that lie ahead for you?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: We had the Volturi guards and now, we'll have the Cullens! I guess, I'm in my active writing era for tumblr, so don't be surprised if I end up posting a whole lot more. It can be about Twilight or even other fandoms. I'll definitely be posting more for Miguel O'Hara too. Also, I was supposed to post this later on but it got put on queue and I didn't know how to put it out of the list, so I apologize if it seems a little rushed.
MASTERLIST & REQUESTS: Have some wine before you leave, or suggest a good brand to me. any form of messages are a delight.
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EDWARD CULLEN aka THE MIND READER
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He's a mind reader. That is the only thing you need to know about him to know that it's useless to even try to escape because Edward is already reading your mind to see the potential plans of your escape. He'll do everything to ensure you won't escape and if you managed to find a single hint that could bring your hopes up to do so, he'll immediately eliminate it by fixing the problem. If you had somehow— no one knows precisely how —managed to find an escape, then just know that he'll find you soon enough. Not even just because of his abilities as a vampire since he can easily track down your scent with them, but also because well— he can read your mind. Edward will know where you desperately want to go to and he'll know about the decisions that you'll make as you try to escape. So, good luck but it's practically impossible, unless you managed to outsmart him by thinking of some sort of distraction. But yeah, it's almost impossible because he's constantly reading your mind! Very nosy indeed for a vampire but even worse as a yandere vampire.
CARLISLE CULLEN aka THE DOCTOR
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He would be disappointed. Carlisle isn't the type to get angry at people, but he would get disappointed in you when you try to run away because he thought you knew better than to do that. Honestly, out of everyone in the family, Carlisle is the yandere who gives the most freedom to his darling partner. Carlisle gives a lot of trust to you but after your attempt escape, which was most likely ruined because of another family member, he will definitely be keeping a closer eye on you. Carlisle will either give you a scolding after your escape or he will be quite silent while checking if you got any injuries while being outside. The latter is actually scarier than the first because it's unusual for Carlisle to be giving you the silent treatment and it would mean that he would be more cautious and give you less freedom from then on. However, instead of immediately locking you up in the house after your attempt escape, Carlisle will show you all the reasons to keep you in the house. It could be by showing you the wounds and deaths caused by a rogue vampire or even just by bringing you to the hospital to show you the potential wounds you could get by being outside.
ALICE CULLEN aka THE PSYCHIC
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Same situation as Edward. She's a psychic. Alice can easily check through her gift when you feel even the slightest want to go against her. She'll immediately fix the problem and spend more time with you and be much more attentive too. However, if you decide to rebel against her far too many times, she might just let you attempt an escape. Under her watchful eye, of course, since she doesn't want anything to happen to her precious darling but Alice is sure she can make an accident or two happen around you or maybe worsen your day with some horrible mannered humans to get you thinking that going outside and rebelling against her isn't worth it. She'll be faking her worries when you finally decide to come back home to her and she'll fuss all over your health. Alice might hide it from you but she is strategic and quite smart, especially when it concerne you. Your attempt had also given Alice a chance to guilt trip you into being her personal dress up doll. Not that you already weren't before, but things are certainly much smoother if you follow her order like a sweet darling right?
ROSALIE HALE-CULLEN aka THE BEAUTY
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Rosalie would be scoffing at your attempt. She's definitely annoyed and angry at you, but she is also blaming herself for it. Rosalie should have known you would try to escape and she probably had a feeling on that as well, yet she still decided to trust her darling. You could say that she considered it as a test to see your loyalty to her, one in which you had failed horribly. After she has finally calmed down from her anger, which could take a few days, she will return to you with a sweet smile and continue treating you as her precious jewel like she usually does. Now, you can ignore her attempts to win you back over with her charms and even insult her for it, but do remember that Rosalie could be the sweetest person in the world towards her darling, constantly spoiling you with affection and cherishing you with her gentle words. Her actions causes you to be awfully conflicted about your want to escape because why would you want to get away from someone who loves you more than anything in the world? Your doubts could be added if you had terrible partners in the past.
JASPER HALE-CULLEN aka THE SOLDIER
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Jasper will definitely be hurt. I mean, which yandere wouldn't feel hurt at some point if their darling tries to escape? But out of everyone, Jasper is the one who shows it the most. He's trying so hard to adjust for his darling on everything. He had made renovations to his home, specifically to accomodate to your taste and comfort. He had to endure more trainings to keep his blood thirst under control because he doesn't want to hurt you, and so much more. Jasper doesn't expect you to return anything, not even your affections since he understands he needs to earn it, but you attempting to escape is almost like you were dismissing all of his efforts in one go or even worse, you didn't give a shit about them in the first place and that was what probably hurted him the most. Jasper will probably get stricter with you after that. He had tried to be fair and tried to respect your space before and to be quite honest, he is the yandere who gives the most freedom to you after Carlisle. His only rule was for you to not leave him. But you had to break the rule and now, you'll pay for the consequences.
ESME CULLEN aka THE LOVER
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Esme has the same reaction as Jasper. She's hurt but she is also confused as well. Esme is really patient and she understands that you needed time and space to adjust living in her house, your new and sudden home that was completely foreign to you, and she's trying hard to get you adjusted and be as comfortable as possible. Like Jasper, she's doing everything she can for your comfort but unlike Jasper, she expects your acceptance in return. It's not as if she is expecting it in a cruel type of way with the mindset that she's doing something for you, so you should do something for her. No, Esme is nothing like that. However, Esme made sure she was doing everything right and she expected for your relationship with her to go more smoothly, not for you to suddenly escape. Your failed escape made her think she did something wrong, but she's confused because she had done everything right so far. Esme never forced you to return your affections, she wanted to slowly earn it, which is why after your failed escape, she had a talk with you and asked you why you tried to leave. Esme knows that she's flawed but she wants to improve herself and do everything she can to fix the problem but in no world would she ever let you go.
EMMETT CULLEN aka THE JOKER
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Emmett is silent. He was so fucking silent that it actually scared you more than if he got angry at you and he had never gotten angry at you either but it's probably much better than the silent treatment you're getting. No teasings or even some bad jokes. Heck, not even his cheesy pick up lines. Emmett still takes care of you and spend time with you during his silent treatment though. He still cooks meals for you and cuddles with you while watching a horror movie, which is actually his favourite activity to do with you, but he still didn't say a single word. And it was starting to get to you as well. You had no one else besides Emmett in the house, sometimes his "siblings" would visit, but they don't talk much with you and you were beginning to slowly grow insane from the lack of conversations. It didn't matter how long it took but after some time, you broke down and begged for Emmett to speak to you because if the silent treatment continued on, you were sure you would go completely insane. Emmett was surprised when you begged him but he was pleased as well. He was silent all this time in order to make him more tolerable to you, but Emmett also knew that he would eventually break you and hoped it would be enough to get you to want to talk to him.
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reallychaoticwoo · 4 days
Note
Can i get an ateez Reaction to you having period stain at send off?
⛓️This is gonna be fun lol! Please remember in this household we are most definitely delusional so these will absolutely not be the most realistic scenarios⛓️
✨️ Ateez reacting to y/n having a period stain at send-off✨️
❤️Pairing: Ateez (individually) x reader
⚠️Warnings: cussing, fluff, some suggestiveness 🤍👀 Pretty tame, I think? Lmk if I missed anything, tho!
‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️
🖤Hope you enjoy!🖤
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Hongjoong:
Noticing it he'd be quick to have his manager pull you aside as discrete as possible. Having a staff member get you a jacket or hoodie to help you cover up the red stain. He'd offer to take you to his hotel room and give you a change of clothes and new sanitary items letting you stay with him until your original outfit could be cleaned.
Seonghwa:
His need to be a caregiver takes over instantly. He'd discreetly hand you a photocard or note telling you which staff member to go to. You'd be given new sanitary products and taken to a private room until send off was over. He'd take you back to his hotel room, get you a change of clothes, and offer pain meds, cuddles, food, or to help with cramps (iykyk) whatever you needed he would be more than willing to provide.
Yunho:
Yunho would somehow make a big deal about it without making a big deal about it. Taking off his jersey and signing it before handing it to you with a soft whisper in your ear telling you to use it to hide the stain and meet him after send-off. Naturally that would cause everyone to look at you but at least you had a shield now. After everyone left he'd take you to go buy some new pants and out to grab a bite since you two were friends now anyways.
Yeosang:
The chaotic sweetie he is, would probably notice it a little too hard making you question why he kept looking at you the way was. Feeling guilty for basically staring at your vag he'd nervously lean closer and inform you of your definitely noticeable stain. Your wide eyed reaction would have him offering to let you hide out in one of the back rooms for the time being until he could meet you to help you find a solution. The solution? We'll you were now in his bed napping naked while he had someone run and grab you new clothes. Don't worry you definitely ended up getting some pain relief when you woke up 😉
San:
It's almost instant that he's asking you if he can "help you out with that" a smug but sweet smile on his face as he glances down and back up. The panicked reaction to his not so subtle words causing him to chuckle before handing you his hotel room info. Once he arrived you'd be well taken care of, fed a nice warm meal, and be put in his clothing afterwards. If you didn't already know, he's adopted you now, somewhat like a stray kitten. So you're his 🤷🏻‍♀️
Mingi:
As much as I love this man, my first instinct is that he'd try to be discrete and end up letting the entire room know somehow. His voice being way to loud and him being way too hype after the concert. Feeling guilty for informing an entire room of people of your situation he'd then offer to take you out to buy some new clothes. Shopping with him somehow turned into an arcade date and then ice cream. He thinks you're dating now? You're 100% cool with that.
Wooyoung:
As soon as he spots it he's running to either San or Hwa to get you help in the hands of a more mature adult. Meeting up with you after send off to apologize for not getting to address you properly amidst his childish panic. Trying to make light of the situation he'd probably ask if you had a "blood kink or something" to which you'd definitely be hitting his arm huffing at, earning yourself one of his famous Cheshire grins. He's gonna go ask San if they can keep you now. San would then ask Seonghwa to ask Hongjoong. To which the captain would reluctantly agree due to the request of his favorite member.
Jongho:
For the first time in send off history this man stripped off a layer of his clothing. He'd seen the stain a few people down so when he made it to you his hoodie was already dropped over his arm and ready to be given to his manager who would pull you to the back of the room and hand it to you. Stopping you on your way out he'd hand you a pair of sweats from his bag he kept in the dressing room and ask if you'd like to change here and go grab a coffee.
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womicatly · 5 days
Text
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Synopsis: You met in college, when Geto introduced you, he has philophobia, despite this he was madly in love with you.
Painting. Gojo Satoru x f!Reader
Content. MDNI. fem!reader, enemies-to-lovers, philophobia, creampies,oral (fem), swearing, spitting, pussy-slapping, female and masculine masturbation, pregnancy quote, explicit content,big cock, fingering, smut, anything else I may have forgotten.
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There he was, a disheveled mess of feelings, he looked at you as if only that could calm the pounding heart in his perfectly sculpted chest, oh that man was a vision of the gods, a feast for the eyes.
The man was panting, you knew him better than anyone, he was insecure, fearful of any decision he had made.
— "I think I'm in love with you [Name], it scares me" — the words reverberated through the vast immensity of the dark and starry night, there was a wide layer of stars visible that night, although your vision was purely fixed on the white complex in front of you— "I know this came up suddenly, but I've been spending my early mornings awake, you've been on my damn mind for a long time, I need you to stop this." — the man reinforced the epigraph, he was panting, perhaps from the arduous race to get there before you fell asleep.
You were friends, college brought you together like nothing else would, Suguru introduced you when you were still in high school, you never separated after that, you were like flesh and nail, you got along like no one else, you shared the same humor and understood each other, despite that, none of the scenarios you shared could be considered profitable when in general you were completely tied to the weight of insecurities held back like prophecies.
You had drifted apart a long time ago, you didn't even know where you were, this feeling had been taking over you more and more, you had changed, you were no longer the reckless and impulsive children of 7 years ago, you were different now, you were mature, aware of your own actions, thinking about it brought you anguish, you no longer knew people you used to cling to like a puppy.
You came back to reality when your heart pounded, an inevitable reaction made only for him. A long time had passed, but you were still susceptible to glimpses of love. You were really a fool, believing like a theist believes in his God, like a prognosis dictated by some prophet.
— "What are you doing here, Satoru?"— your voice sounded tremulous, embroidered with the lines of longing and pain. You longed for him to understand your emotions, even though he was here, standing at your door like a curse brought by your past while the clock made its second complete turn.
— "Why are you asking me something you know the answer to? Are you expecting to receive a different answer? I already told you why I'm here"— the sentence sounded rude, exactly like when he started to move away from you. Well, after all, Satoru was still the arrogant egotist you had known.
You laughed, although the taste was bitter, as much as a lemon, your words sounded treacherous to your own feelings, you wished he would come back and apologize for his actions unworthy of pride or words of exaltation — "I see that you are still the same man I knew, childish like a child, do you still think it's nice to yell at your parents or have you passed that phase?" — A deafening silence permeated the entrance to the house until a deep sigh escaped through your half-open lips — "If you came to test my patience and tell me lies, I ask you to leave, I don't feel like dealing with you now"
His lips curved into an indecipherable expression, since he became impassive and stoic with you it was unreal that you could interpret the expression that took over the platinum-haired man's face — "Is that what you think of me? That I'm at the door of your house desperate only for lies?"
— "What?"— the voice sounded broken again, the displeasure of the memories made itself present in your exhausted brain again, your eyes threatened to tear up, although you refused to admit that you were both cut from the same cloth and that you were as proud as Satoru.
— "Did you really think that? Listen carefully."— He approached, swallowing hard, he really didn't want to throw the confession at you, but for some reason, he was simply unable to keep it to himself, repeating next — I'm in love with you.
They were direct and clear words, impossible not to understand, any observer in the background noticed the man's apprehension, his palms were sweating, he didn't know how to deal with things like love, he was a man of one-night stands, but such a name was a mask for the absolute truth: he was afraid of love.
— "Are you crazy? The Satoru I know isn't like that, who are you and what did you do to him?"— The words had a hint of humor, as if trying to alleviate the stress that was sneaking up the small stairs of the small apartment's initial passage.
— "Don't pretend to know me, we haven't seen each other in 7 years, [Name], you know that very well and you know what? I've been going crazy all these years thinking about you 24/7 and it's been like hell, even though I'm addicted"— The statement made her cheeks genuinely burn, probably because she was would be painted a pastel pink shade at that moment.
— "But... you've never dated, not that I know of at least."— Your voice sounded curious at the same time as it reflected on the situation. You had never considered the idea of ​​having your feelings reciprocated years after all the misunderstandings.
— "Yeah, because I don't want to deal with that romantic crap. Being alone seems simpler. I don't understand how people fall in love, how they have the energy to care so much about another person to the point that it consumes them."—Your voice was like that of an unstable little boy.
— "What are you doing here then?"—You asked, trying your best to prohibit the understanding thoughts that were incessantly arising in the deepest part of your brain. Maybe Gojo suffered from philophobia?
Satoru's gaze fixed on yours at the simple question. He looked away as his expression turned into a mixture of irritation and sadness. “No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I say, you’re still on my mind. I can’t have a moment of peace without you popping into my head.” Satoru clenched his fists as his gaze lingered on your lips, the sight of them, parted, stirring lustful desires in the man. You were the epitome of fascination, even when all you did was exist. Although he wasn’t a watchful man, no matter what you did or didn’t do, just the sight of you would be more than enough to make him want to pray. Gojo stood in front of you, his presence overwhelming. Before you could protest, he stepped forward, and with one swift movement, he pushed you into the house, closing the door behind him with a soft bang. The sound echoed through the silent apartment, but all you could focus on was the closeness of your body to his. His blue eyes shone with an almost dangerous intensity, and you felt a shiver run down your spine as you realized how close he was.
— "Satoru, what are you...?" — Your voice trailed off, choked by the sudden intimacy of the situation. Your back met the cold wall of the room, the shock of temperature contrasting with the heat emanating from his body, now mere inches from yours.
Gojo smiled, but it wasn't the provocative smile you were used to seeing. This one was different, loaded with something darker, more carnal. He raised his hand, long, pale fingers closing around your chin, tilting your face so that your eyes met his. — "Do you really think you can keep avoiding me? Do you think you can run away from me, [Name]?"
Your breathing quickened, the tension in the air becoming almost palpable. His scent was intoxicating, a mix of freshness and something indescribably masculine, that made your body respond instinctively. You wanted to push him away, tell him this was a mistake, but your words were lost when he leaned in, his lips hovering close to your ear.
“You have no idea what you’ve done to me,” he whispered, his voice low and husky, making your senses light up. The touch of his warm breath on your skin made you close your eyes for a moment, trying to gather the strength to resist his overwhelming magnetism.
Gojo pulled back just enough for your gazes to meet again, his fingers still holding your chin with surprising firmness. His eyes swept every detail of your face, as if he was absorbing every nuance of your expression. Then, almost as a punishment, he leaned forward, his lips touching yours with a deceptive softness.
It was a kiss that began almost as a question, exploring, testing your limits. His taste was intoxicating, and before you knew it, you were responding, your mouth moving against his, as if the long-suppressed desire was finally finding an outlet.
The kiss deepened, his fingers now sliding down your neck, pressing lightly, as if he wanted to feel the accelerated rhythm of your pulse. Your hands, once hesitant, now held his shoulders, as if seeking some kind of anchorage in this whirlwind of emotions.
He pressed his body against yours, your hips meeting in a perfect fit, and you felt the hardness of his body against yours. It was a closeness that made your heart beat wildly, and a heat spread through your body in a way you couldn't ignore.
"Why do you fight it?" he murmured against your lips, his voice husky, full of desire and frustration. His eyes were fixed on yours, so close that you could see the conflict in them, the fear mixed with the desire. "Why keep pretending you don't feel the same way?"
You opened your mouth to respond, but any words that were about to come out were lost when he kissed you again, this time with more intensity, more need. It was a kiss that made it clear how much he wanted you, how much he was willing to ready to break down any barrier you put between you.
Your body reacted despite any rational thought, your skin crawling with every touch, with every movement of your lips against his. The wall behind you seemed to be the only thing keeping you upright as he explored your reactions, every touch of his fingers, every press of his body against yours, sending waves of heat that threatened to consume you completely.
You knew you were on the edge of a dangerous precipice, where the lines between reason and desire were quickly blurring. But in that moment, with Gojo Satoru so close, so real, so irresistibly tempting, it was hard to remember why you had ever wanted to run away from this.
Gojo didn’t seem to be in a hurry, but the urgency of his movements revealed the pent-up desire that was building up between the two of you. His mouth moved with precision over yours, alternating between soft kisses and teasing bites on your lower lip, enough to make you gasp involuntarily. His fingers slid down her neck, down the line of her collarbone until they found their way under the collar of her shirt, where her skin was most sensitive. The touch of his fingers against her bare skin sent a shiver through her body that made her shiver, an immediate and uncontrollable response. The sound of her ragged breathing seemed amplified in the silence of the room, as he explored her every reaction with the confidence of someone who knew exactly what he was doing. Gojo wasn't just a natural tease, he was a man who had mastered the art of seduction. And at that moment, he was determined to disarm her completely. "Holy shit, when did you dominate me like this, princess?" he murmured, his lips hovering over her jaw as he traced a path of kisses along her neck, each one slower and more deliberate than the last. The sound of his low, husky voice in your ear made your body react treacherously, your head tilting to give him more access, even as your mind screamed that this was wrong.
But when Gojo spoke, there was no room for regrets or doubts, only for the overwhelming feeling of shared desire. — "I spent so long trying to ignore this, [Name]. Trying to pretend that you weren't inside my head, that it wasn't you that I wanted... But here we are, and now that I'm here, I won't stop."
His fingers found their way to the curve of your waist, where he pulled you closer, making your bodies meet in a pressure that was both intoxicating and unbearable. With every movement, with every touch, it felt like he was burning down your defenses, one by one, until all that was left was the raw, undeniable truth: you wanted him as much as he wanted you.
You could feel the tension in his body, the muscles in his arms tightly defined, as if he was holding himself back with every fiber of his being to keep from going too far, too fast. But even in that control, there was a palpable danger, a promise that if you made one false step, he would take everything he was offering.
— "Satoru..." — His name escaped your lips, a mix of warning and plea. Your mind was struggling to maintain some sense of rationality, but your body was in complete betrayal, moving involuntarily in response to him, seeking more of the touch that was setting you on fire inside.
Gojo lifted his head, looking directly into your eyes, and what you saw there was the perfect combination of desire and vulnerability. He was exposing something he had probably never shown to anyone: the depth of his feelings, the fear of love that haunted him, and the way you broke all his resistance.
— “I know I shouldn’t be doing this,” he admitted, his voice deep, almost regretful, as his fingers traced the contour of your waist, slowly moving up your back. “But damn, I can’t fight it anymore.”
With that last confession, Gojo leaned in again, capturing your lips in a kiss that was both desperate and possessive. There was an intensity that went beyond physical attraction, it was the kind of kiss that spoke of years of repressed desire, of emotions he’d tried to stifle but that were finally escaping his control.
His fingers tightened around your waist with palpable need, and you felt his heat seep through the thin layers of fabric that separated you. It was as if each touch was a silent promise of something more, something you hadn’t explored yet but that you both knew was about to happen.
He pulled away just enough to look at you, his blue eyes dark with desire, his lips parted as he fought to control his breathing. — "Tell me to stop," he said, almost as a challenge, but also as a plea. — "Tell me to stop, and I will. But if you don't don't tell me, [Name]... I won't hold back."
Your heart was pounding in your chest, and for a moment that seemed to last an eternity, the world was reduced to the heat of his body against yours, the intensity of his gaze, the closeness of his lips. It was a decision that you knew would change everything between you.
But when you opened your mouth to speak, the words that came out were not the ones he expected.
"I don't want you to stop," you whispered, and that simple admission seemed to set the last of Gojo's restraint ablaze.
He didn't wait any longer. His lips crashed down on yours with renewed ferocity, and this time, there was no hesitation. His hands slid over your skin with the urgency of someone who had waited too long, and as he pulled you even closer to him, you knew this was going to be the best sex of your life.
The air around you seemed to grow thick, charged with an almost tangible electricity as Gojo's touch grew more intense. intimate, more needy. He didn’t hesitate as he slid his hands over your body, his long fingers exploring every curve, every contour, as if he wanted to memorize the feel of your skin against his.
The sensation was incendiary, each touch making your skin burn as if he were tracing lines of fire on you. When he pressed his body against yours, you felt the weight of his desire, the palpable urgency in his movements. His hands, once hesitant, now moved firmly, one hand gripping the base of your spine, pulling you against him, while the other moved up your back, pausing just long enough to unbutton your shirt with a precision that could only come from practice, but the impatience in his fingers betrayed his haste.
When the fabric slid down your shoulders, exposing your skin to the cool air, the sensation was a stark contrast to the heat of his body pressed against yours. He let out a husky sound of approval, his blue eyes becoming almost predatory as he took his time to admire the sight of you, partially undressed before him. But he didn’t just stare for long. In one swift movement, Gojo leaned down, his mouth finding its way to your neck, where he placed hot, wet kisses, his tongue gliding teasingly over the sensitive skin.
Every touch of his tongue, every press of his lips, sent waves of pleasure radiating throughout your body, making your legs tremble. It was an addictive sensation, and you found yourself unable to resist, your fingers burying themselves in his white hair, pulling him even closer, as if you needed every shred of contact between you to calm the flame he had lit.
“Satoru…” His name escaped your lips in a shaky whisper, his voice thick with need, with desire. But before you could say anything else, he interrupted you, lightly nibbling on your earlobe, eliciting a soft moan from your lips.
His response was immediate, as if every sound you made fueled the fire inside you. He pressed his hips against yours, and you could feel his hardness against your body, undeniable evidence of his desire. The sensation was overwhelming, making your heart beat even faster, as if it were about to explode in your chest. Your bodies were so close that the friction between you became almost unbearable, each movement generating a new wave of pleasure that seemed to burn under your skin.
Gojo seemed to be delighting in your every reaction, his lips moving along the line of your shoulder, down your collarbone, while his hands explored more intimate territories. He slid one hand down, past the curve of your waist until it stopped at the edge of your high-waisted denim shorts where his skilled fingers began to unbutton the fabric, moving with a mixture of eagerness and haste, as if time were both an enemy and an ally in that moment.
The sound of the zipper being pulled was muffled by the pounding of your heart, but the anticipation that followed was almost unbearable. When he finally slid his hand inside the fabric, his cool fingers meeting your warm skin and the soaked fabric of your panties, the sensation was so intense that you let out a ragged gasp. Gojo's hand moved with surprising familiarity, as if he knew exactly where to touch to pull every sigh, every moan from your lips.
He pressed you against the wall, his lips never leaving your skin, moving back to the curve of your neck as his fingers explored the heat of your body with a slow, teasing rhythm, each touch making you writhe beneath him. It was as if he was reveling in prolonging the moment, keeping you on the edge of the precipice without ever letting you fall.
“You’re so… perfect” he murmured against your skin, his voice husky and thick with desire, his eyes closed as he held you close lost in the feeling of you beneath his fingers. The inside of your pussy swallowed his fingers in a fucking delicious way, the wet noises echoing through the room like a prophecy — "I never thought I'd be here, doing this... But now that I am, I want to keep going until you can't move properly."
You gasped as he pressed his fingers a little deeper, exploring your every reaction with an almost scientific knowledge, as if he was mapping every sensitive spot on your body. The sensation was almost overwhelming, and you found yourself holding him tighter, your fingers digging into his shoulders as your head fell back, your lips parted as you tried to breathe.
— "Satoru... please..." — Your voice came out as a sigh, a plea that you barely knew how to complete. All you knew was that you wanted more, needed more, and he seemed more than willing to fulfill that desire.
— "Fuck, fuck, holy shit, girl, that mouth of yours is going to kill me, be quiet, please" — Gojo whispered against your skin, a satisfied and almost arrogant smile, before capturing your lips again in a deep and passionate kiss, as if he were sealing a pact between you. At the same time, his fingers moved with more determination, more intensity, eliciting from you a response that could not be described as anything other than pure pleasure.
Your eyes met his, full of silent provocation. You could feel the weight of his desire, like an electric current between you. When your hands finally moved, it was as if time had slowed down. Your fingers slid slowly down his firm chest, tracing the outline of his god-sculpted muscles through his shirt, feeling the texture of the fabric before boldly moving to his warm, bare skin.
You heard the soft sigh that escaped his lips as your fingers began to explore the line of his abdomen, moving up to his chest, while your eyes never left his. There was a glint in your eyes, something that said you knew exactly the effect you were having, and that you were enjoying every second of it.
— "Satoru..." — Your voice came out as a seductive murmur, full of unspoken promises. — "You always thought you were so in control, didn't you? But look at you now..."
The provocation was clear, and his reaction was immediate. He growled low, his eyes shining with a mix of frustration and desire, but he didn't pull away, instead, he let himself be guided by your hands, his own movements becoming less controlled, more desperate.
You slowly lowered one hand, your fingers tracing a dangerous trail as they explored lower, passing along his waistline until they found the button of his pants. The touch was light, almost ghostly, but enough to make his muscles contract in anticipation.
— "You like this, don't you?" — You whispered, a smile playing on your lips. — "You like to see me like this, taking the reins." He tried to answer, but his voice failed when you opened his pants with a quick gesture, sliding your hand inside to touch the warm skin that was waiting for you, he was hard as hell. The ragged sigh he let out was music to your ears, and you reveled in the feeling of having him under your control, even if only for a moment. Your hand moved with a gentle firmness, your fingers exploring, pressing the glans as you caressed the skin with care and firmness. And he shivered, his body reacting to the touch with an intensity that made pleasure ripple through you, feeding the flame inside your own body. — "Hold on tighter," He said as he moved his hips, fucking your grip around his cock, one of his hands going to yours, guiding the strength with which you should hold him while the other continued to move in your wet pussy. —You don't order me around — You said, your gaze focused on his blue eyes that seemed to beg you to become obedient at that moment.
Your own hands began to tremble slightly as they explored, pressed, drawing sighs and moans from him that made your own body feel empty despite his fingers moving inside you incessantly.
— "You're... unbearable..." — He murmured, his voice hoarse as he tried to regain control, but you just smiled.
— "Just enjoy it, Satoru..." — You whispered back, your voice full of promises and moans that you could barely suppress despite your great effort.
As you continued to tease him, you felt a wave of pleasure rise through your own body. His touches became more intense, your own legs trembling as he finally reacted, pulling you towards him with an urgency that made you gasp. He was on the edge, and so were you, each touch, each movement building the tension until it became almost unbearable. You were so fucking close to cumming that you barely noticed when your fingers left the hardened flesh to scratch his back with a force that made them remain there like temporary tattoos.
When you were on the edge of ecstasy, your body already trembling, he stopped. His fingers, which had previously moved with precision and intention, now remained still, leaving you adrift in a sea of ​​unsatisfied desire. The shock of being interrupted at that moment was so intense that you let out a groan of frustration, your body still trembling with the need for something more, something he was deliberately withholding from you.
Gojo looked up, a dangerous and provocative glint in his blue eyes. He knew exactly what he was doing, and the satisfaction in his smile showed that he was enjoying it.
"Not so fast, princess," he murmured, his voice husky and full of desire. "I want to enjoy every second of this, every second of you."
Your breathing was ragged, your heartbeat was racing, and the heat in your body felt like it was about to consume you completely. But he wasn’t in a hurry, and his ruthless control only increased the desire you felt.
Gojo pulled his fingers away from your pussy, but he didn’t pull away from you. Instead, he moved down slowly, his hands exploring the path he was about to follow with his mouth. The heat of his breath was a prelude to what was to come, and you felt every muscle in your body tense in anticipation.
“Satoru…” Your name escaped your lips like a pleading sigh, but he only smiled, his lips brushing your skin with a torturous lightness.
“Only I can make you feel this, can’t I?” he whispered against your skin, his voice a combination of trust and lust.
You didn’t have a chance to respond before you felt the heat of his mouth replace the touch of his fingers, he spat on your pussy, the cold saliva came into contact with the warm, wet skin due to the natural fluids of his own body, he gave a few light slaps there smiling at you, his lips and tongue exploring every inch of your pussy. The sensation was overwhelming, a wave of pleasure that left you gasping, gripping the sheets tightly as he worked you with a dedication that seemed inconceivable for a man like him, who never allowed himself this kind of intimacy with any other woman.
Gojo was a man who did this casually, but something about you had the power to break his rules, to make him want to taste every part of you, to make him want to prioritize your pleasure over his own. The way he moved, alternating between soft kisses and firm licks, made you feel like you were being devoured by a fire that only he could light.
Every sound you made, every sigh, moan and tremor of your body, seemed to feed him, intensifying the way he explored you. He held you tight, keeping you in place as he slowly brought you back to the brink of ecstasy, but without the rush of before. Now, he was in complete control, and you were completely at the mercy of his will.
Your body began to arch involuntarily, the need growing again, but this time he didn't make you wait. When you felt the pressure building once more, he intensified his movements, his lips and tongue working in perfect harmony to take you to the peak of pleasure you so desired.
And when it finally happened, when your body could no longer resist and gave in to the pleasure he was providing, it was as if every part of you had caught fire. Your body contracted, the explosion of sensations tearing a scream from your lips, as he continued, taking you deeper and deeper into this spiral of ecstasy.
When everything finally began to calm down, you realized that he was still there, his lips still gently brushing your skin, as if he wanted to savor every moment, every reaction he had drawn from you. The satisfied smile he gave you as he climbed back up to meet your eyes only confirmed what you already knew: he had savored every second.
When Gojo finally pulled away, his eyes met yours, and there was a dark intensity there, something that went beyond the usual teasing. He slowly climbed over you, his body pressing against yours, creating an unbearable tension. Every movement was calculated, every touch felt charged with lust.
“You’re so selfish, you know that?” he murmured, his voice husky and full of desire. His eyes glittered as he leaned closer, his lips almost touching yours. “Don’t you think I deserve to feel that too?”
You barely had time to respond before he shifted his hips, positioning himself between your legs. Anticipation built inside you, the heat of the moment heightened by the way he held your hips firmly, keeping you in place as he prepared himself for what was to come next.
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to fuck that dirty pussy of yours…” he whispered, leaning down so his lips brushed yours shell of your ear. — "How many have fucked you?"
You felt his body pressing against yours, and the sensation of his size, hard and aching, brought a mixture of excitement and apprehension. He was big, and the idea of ​​what was about to happen sent a shiver down your spine.
— "Cat got your tongue, princess?" — He asked, his voice full of teasing, but also with a touch of genuine concern, he didn't even care that some man had entered there before him, he knew he would make you feel much better than any other son of a bitch could dream of doing.
He began to enter slowly, the pressure intensifying as he advanced. Your eyes closed instinctively, and you felt his body moving carefully, despite the obvious desire to simply lose control. He was trying not to hurt you, but the feeling of fullness was overwhelming, making you gasp as you tried to adjust to his size.
— "Slow down..." — He murmured, his hips thrusting forward and backward in a slow, controlled rhythm. — "I don't want to hurt you... But you're making this so hard."
Each movement was a mixture of pleasure and slight pain as you adjusted, but soon the pain began to fade, replaced by a wave of pure pleasure. He continued to move forward, filling you completely, until your bodies were completely joined, and the feeling was almost unbearable, so good, if it had a name other than pleasure, it would be heaven.
— "You're going to satisfy me too, aren't you?" — He teased, moving slowly, with a control that seemed ready to unravel at any moment. — "I want you to feel how much I want you... How much I need you."
Your body reacted to every movement, each thrust of his causing waves of pleasure that reverberated throughout your being. The combination of intimacy, desperate desire, and growing pleasure was almost too much to bear, but you didn't want him to stop. In truth, all you wanted was more.
When he finally found a rhythm that was both slow and deep, something inside you ignited again. The pleasure grew in you, and each thrust of his brought you closer to the edge, each word, each touch, fueling the fire that burned between you. He was completely in control, but at the same time, he was giving in, moving with a need that was almost palpable.
And when he lost the control he was fighting so hard to maintain, his movements became faster, more intense, causing you to come undone under his cock, it was something almost transcendental. The feeling of him inside you, the way he filled every part of you, was like nothing you had ever experienced.
Gojo mumbled unintelligible words, losing himself in the sensation, he had completely surrendered to you, just as you had to him. Satoru watched your body, arched beneath him, seeming to radiate an ethereal, almost intangible beauty. The contrast of your skin against his, the sheen of sweat on your forehead, the way your hair fell messily around your face, all contributed to an image he would never dare forget. As he moved inside you for the last time, he felt your body tighten around him. The heat of your pussy enveloped him, and the feeling of you cumming because of him, losing yourself in the pleasure, was enough to make him cum. Your face was taken over by an expression of pure ecstasy, your lips parted in a silent sigh, your eyes closed as you gave yourself completely to the moment. To Gojo, it was as if he was witnessing something divine, something that only he had the privilege of seeing and feeling. Every little tremor, every involuntary movement of your body as you clenched around him, intensified his own pleasure. He let out a deep groan, almost a growl, as he surrendered to his climax. Your body tensed, muscles tensing as he released all the pent-up tension, filling you with hot liquid, each wave of pleasure reverberating through him in an overwhelming way. His eyes remained fixed on you, taking in every detail, etching the image of you into his mind.
The moment he finally reached his peak, he felt you tighten one last time around him, the heat and pressure nearly taking his breath away. The intensity of everything that was happening, the pleasure, the intimacy, the mystical beauty that you radiated, made him let out a guttural sound, deeply satisfied and at the same time reverent, as if he were thanking you for this moment.
He held himself there, inside you, feeling the last waves of pleasure wash over him, each second prolonged by the deep connection that you shared. And as your bodies finally began to relax, he couldn't help but look at you, admiring the sight of the woman who had the power to transform him completely, that had made him want to savor every part of her, body and soul, that had made him fall in love.
As soon as he took his own cock out of you, he smiled seeing his own cum dripping out of you, he ran his thumb through the liquid injecting it back into your pussy "What do you think about having a baby?"
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xomakara · 1 year
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Inked By You
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SUMMARY |  You're best friends with Johnny and have had feelings for him for awhile. You think he's only attracted to you because of your tattoos but it's so much more. PAIRINGS | Johnny/Fem!Reader GENRE |  non-idol au, college au, friends to lovers, smut, unprotected sex, oral sex, dirty talk, fluff towards the end RATING |  Mature LENGTH |  10,114 words AUTHOR’S NOTE | This turned out longer than I expected LOL. So in this one, all the members I mentioned are the same age lolol. I hope it makes sense. Does it make sense?? I feel like my writing style has been wonky lately.
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“Those are real, aren’t they?” Johnny asked you as he leaned against your bedroom wall. Taeyong and Yuta were lounging on your bed before joining the party that was going on in your living room. Johnny was looking at the various tattoos that were on your left arm.
You and Johnny have been best friends since your freshman year of college. Although you both have very different personalities and interests, there was one thing that kept you close together: partying. It's your last year of college and despite all the stress from studying and taking exams, you still got together every now and again to do what you all did best.
Drink, dance, and make memories.
Johnny is wearing a silk button-down shirt and black slacks. And then there was you in a tight mini skirt and a one-shouldered top that accentuated your figure and showed off your tattoo sleeve.
You looked good.
Even though it wasn’t what most people would consider a typical Friday night out, you, Johnny and other mutual friends seemed happy enough as you stood in front of the mirror checking out each other.
That was until you caught Johnny staring at your body with an expression that suggested he wanted more than just a quick look. The silence between you both grew awkward and uncomfortable until you finally broke it by saying, “What? Are my tits distracting you or something?”
He snapped out of his trance with a surprised look on his face, causing you to smile. He quickly apologized for staring, but said that he was genuinely interested in your ink. You nodded in response, knowing exactly what he meant by that. There was no denying the amount of attention you always got when wearing a low-cut top or a revealing dress. Your tattoo sleeve was another story though. People either loved them or hated them.
Despite the interest from many men, you never really considered getting any more tattoos after you finished your sleeves because, frankly, your current ones turned heads even if you wore a burlap sack. It wasn't uncommon for you to get double takes from people you knew as well as complete strangers when walking around town. On top of that, you didn't want to mess up the awesome artwork that had already been drawn onto your skin. Your current sleeves represented some of your favorite memories, which you didn't ever want to lose. So while others spent thousands of dollars on inked bodies, you got yourself beautiful pieces of art that couldn't be taken away.
Still, you couldn't help but notice how excited Johnny appeared whenever he saw you in your sexy outfits. As far as you could tell, he never missed an opportunity to stare at your tattoos, or check you out whenever you walked by him. Sometimes you would catch him ogling you in such a way that you felt like he wanted to rip off your clothes right there in public. Of course, there was no way he'd actually do anything like that. He wasn't that kind of guy.
Besides, you knew for a fact that he had a girlfriend who also attended the same college as you. They had been dating for about a few months, so she was obviously important to him. Still, whenever he caught you wearing something tight or sexy, he couldn't help but show off those sinful eyes of his.
With everyone gathered in yours and Ten's living room, you tried to ignore the eye candy standing across from you as you and your friends continued to talk about meaningless things, like where you should go for dinner later tonight. You weren't even sure why you brought it up. Maybe you were bored, maybe you were drunk, or maybe you just needed something to keep your mind occupied. But whatever the reason, somehow the conversation ended up on the topic of sexual partners. When it comes to sexual encounters, your friends tend to live by the motto: if you haven't had sex with anyone, then you're not having fun.
You hadn't given much thought to that phrase until Jaehyun wiggled his eyebrows at you. "We all know that Y/N has fun doesn't she?"
You rolled your eyes, a smirk on your lips. "I've been told I have a knack for keeping people entertained."
"She can entertain me anytime!" Ten shouted. "Have you seen her ass in that red dress she wears?"
You couldn't help but laugh. That comment got everybody else laughing too.
"Anyways," You muttered before clearing your throat and turning towards Taeyong, "How many women have you slept with?"
Taeyong glanced over at Yuta and grinned, "Four, but it's probably more. Do you need me to give you a count?"
Ten let out a small laugh before replying, "Four isn't bad. Don't think I'll ever get that high, although the number would probably increase if Yuta would stop trying to fuck everything that moves. Especially anything that moves."
You burst out laughing, followed by Yuta who laughed even harder. Eventually Ten joined in, as did Jaehyun, and everyone else that was listening.
“But back to the question at hand,” Taeyong spoke up once he was able to calm down. He looked over at you, “how many men have you slept with?”
Johnny grabbed a bottle of beer from the kitchen counter and took a swig of it. He looked at you curiously.
"Well...if we include Jaehyun, Doyoung, Mark, Hendery and Renjun..." You counted, the men you called out looking at you for a brief moment before going back to whatever they were doing. "Five. But hey, who's counting? Sex is sex."
That answer seemed to satisfy Johnny, although he continued to watch you carefully. You noticed that he was taking an interest in your tattoos again. You shrugged it off as you and your friends continued talking, however your heart began to beat faster when you realized that he was no longer looking at your tattoos. His eyes were locked on yours.
"Hey guys,” Jungwoo called out to the rest of your group, waving a hand in front of their faces. “Who wants to get more beer and food with me?"
Thank you Jungwoo, for your timely interruption. You weren't sure how long you could last with Johnny staring at you. In fact, your knees started to feel a little weak when he cleared his throat to gain your attention. It was almost like he was daring you to say something. Something inappropriate, to be exact. But you had to be strong. After all, he was with his girlfriend.
"Uh, yeah," You replied, forcing a smile onto your face. “Let's go get some food and drinks."
You turned around, ready to follow Jungwoo into the kitchen. You paused for a second to take one last look at Johnny, and saw him watching you intently. You smiled sheepishly before stepping inside the kitchen to join your friends.
You turned around to see Johnny coming towards you. He didn't speak for a minute, so you waited patiently. "So, have you had fun yet?"
Your brows furrowed. You expected him to ask you if you were enjoying yourself. Instead he was asking you a completely different question. You wondered what this was all about, so you replied, "Of course I'm having fun! Why wouldn't I be?"
Before he could respond, Xiaojun called out. "Yo, Johnny! Jieun is here."
Fuck. Johnny's girlfriend.
You sighed inwardly as you watched him walk away with Xiaojun to greet her. If only he wasn't dating someone you actually knew. Then maybe he'd pay you the proper amount of attention. 
Oh well. No use thinking about it. 
You shook your head and focused on your friends. You hadn't seen them in awhile, so you welcomed the chance to hang out with them again. Plus, the alcohol helped to loosen your tongue, which allowed you to ask some of the questions you had been wondering about for quite some time.
"So, guys," you said, pouring some vodka into a glass. "Is it true that Renjun hooked up with someone last week?"
Renjun choked on his beer. You covered your mouth to hide your laughter. Kun let out a loud groan. Haechan let out a loud chuckle. Even Taeyong chuckled quietly.
You couldn't believe that they were being so open with you. It was like you were part of the group, and you liked it. You weren't sure if they realized that, but you were grateful nonetheless.
As soon as you saw Renjun regaining his composure, you spoke up again. "So, how many girls have you banged so far?"
Mark snorted. "Including you? Like eight or nine."
Kun guffawed. "More like twenty."
A shocked expression formed on your face. It was funny to hear their numbers compared to yours, but even funnier was hearing their reactions. Their reactions made you realize just how ridiculous their answers were. For example, Kun's claim that he had fucked more than twenty women in his lifetime was preposterous. However, you didn't dare bring it up.
Renjun shrugged. "I dunno. A lot."
Mark nodded. "At least ten."
Jungwoo scoffed. "No fucking way. Five tops."
"Bet none of those girls were as good as Y/N." Jaehyun reminded them, giving you a look. You rolled your eyes as he continued to talk. "And to everyone at this party that had sex with her, admit that she was good."
"I admit, I'm a good fuck." You shrugged, a small smirk on your lips. You nudged Jaehyun's shoulder. "Now shut up."
You all stared at each other for a minute before bursting out laughing. The alcohol was definitely starting to hit you hard, making you forget all about Johnny and his girlfriend. All that mattered was that you were surrounded by friends, having a good time, and drinking.
It wasn't long before Ten, Mark, Kun, Haechan, Taeyong and you were sitting on the floor, passing around beers and shots as you waited for Jungwoo and Yuta to return with the food. And even though you were tipsy, you managed to hold your liquor fairly well. Until you drank the tequila shot you took right before going to get more drinks.
“So, Y/N.” Haechan drawled out, looking at you intently. You glanced at the tequila in your hands, your vision getting hazy. How much have you actually drunk so far?
“What?” you asked, shrugging. “What are you talking about?”
Haechan frowned. "You okay? You look wasted."
"Yeah, you look wasted Y/N." Taeyong said, as he put his drink down.
Your vision was getting worse. You felt dizzy. Your body was hot, then cold, then hot again. Fuck, you were going to pass out if you kept this up. You reached for the bottle of water next to you, holding it tightly against your chest. You closed your eyes for a second, concentrating on slowing your breathing. You managed to slow it down a bit, but you still felt lightheaded. Before you knew it, your vision blurred again. When you opened your eyes, you found everyone staring at you. Except for Taeyong. He was standing in front of you, looking very concerned.
"Taeyong." You whispered, unable to form any words. He held out his arms, inviting you to step into them.
"Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you to bed." He said gently.
"Y/N." Johnny stepped forward, his face showing concern. His girlfriend laid a hand on his arm, suggesting that he stay put. "Are you okay?"
You nodded and stumbled, reaching for the couch, only to find it further away than you remembered. Without thinking, you leaned against Haechan instead. As you dozed off, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer.
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"Johnny, what's wrong?" The pretty girl next to him muttered. "Is everything alright?"
Johnny watched from the corner of his eyes as his friends helped Y/N up from her drunken stupor. Was she okay? "It's nothing, Jieun."
"I hope she's alright." Jieun muttered, arms still clinging to him. "She seems so drunk."
"Don't worry about her, babe." Johnny assured her. "Just relax and enjoy yourself."
"Why are you always protecting her?" Jieun released a soft sigh.
"Because she's special to me." Johnny answered simply. 
He gave her a small smile before turning his attention back to his friends. He really missed the opportunity to spend time with his friends and Y/N.
He sighed. Of course he missed her. Even though he hadn't been able to spend much time with her lately, whenever they were together, they always had fun. She was kind and caring. Whenever they hung out, he felt a sense of comfort wash over him. It wasn't until tonight that he realized how lucky he was to have her in his life.
In the beginning, it was all easy. They met at a party thrown by their classmates. Since Johnny had recently moved to Seoul, most of his friends struggled to communicate with him. So when his friend Jaehyun told him about the event being held by another foreign exchange student, he figured that it would be a good chance to meet new people. Little did he know that meeting Y/N would change his life forever.
They hit it off instantly, flirting shamelessly. They had no problem joking around and teasing each other. At first, it had been innocent, simple conversations, whether it was about the weather or their favorite movies. They stayed as friends since Y/N was currently in a relationship, but every once in a while, they still got together to hang out. On those occasions, they spent their time watching movies, going to karaoke bars, eating out, and shopping. They had mutual friends who always seemed to drag them along to the hottest clubs and parties.
Those times together were always memorable. He remembered the time when he helped Ten and Y/N find an apartment together since they were going to be roommates. There were nights where Y/N had gotten sick from drinking too much, falling asleep on Johnny's chest. Or times when he found himself helplessly straddling Y/N as they snuck into his apartment. He never questioned the level of their intimacy; after all, Y/N was a beautiful, smart, and sweet girl. In return, Johnny was respectful of her relationships with other men.
But the thought of Y/N with anyone else made him physically ill.
For several months, things continued this way. Eventually, they both became more serious with their respective partners. When that happened, they had trouble finding time to see each other. The good news was that they'd grown closer, becoming each other's best friends. During those moments when they saw each other, they'd always make sure to give the other person plenty of affection. It was obvious that neither one of them wanted to lose their friendship. Still, it was difficult not to get hurt every now and again.
Johnny would often ask himself why he didn't act sooner.
What stopped him from telling Y/N how he truly felt? He knew that he was attracted to her, especially after seeing how they interacted together. She made him laugh, genuinely enjoying his humor. It was impossible not to notice how sexy she looked when she was laughing at his jokes. Plus, she smelled amazing. When he breathed in her scent, it reminded him of chocolate. Or strawberry ice cream. Something sweet and fruity that melted his heart every time he inhaled it. But still, he kept his feelings bottled up inside.
Today was no exception.
Seeing Y/N dress in that mini skirt and that top that accentuated her figure, he had to try hard to stop himself from kissing her senseless. Heck, he knew she had tattoos but at the time, there were only a few. Now she had a whole sleeve of them. All over her left arm. Most of them seemed quite intricate and detailed, depicting nature scenes, symbols, even people. She had an incredible eye for detail and, based on her art, Johnny guessed that she had a lot of patience. It was one of the many reasons why he loved hanging out with her. They could talk for hours, even if they had absolutely nothing in common. There was always an instant connection between them, almost as if they were two halves of a whole.
Johnny glanced over at Jieun, his current girlfriend.
No.
Just the girl that he’s currently just sleeping with.
Jieun was pretty, don't get him wrong. She had short hair and bright brown eyes, delicate features and a slender frame. But when compared to Y/N, she didn't stand a chance. Compared to her, Y/N seemed like a goddess. Y/N was tall, slender, toned in all the right places. She was tan, and had long, black hair that she often ran her fingers through. Not only did she possess all of the qualities that Johnny desired, but she also had a personality that stole his heart. For years, he had been silently pining for her. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't deny the fact that she was perfect for him.
But no matter how much he liked Jieun, he could never forget Y/N. The truth was that Y/N was just so different from everyone else. She never hesitated to show her true self, whatever that meant. Whether she was crying over a sad movie or dancing ecstatically at a club, he knew that she wouldn't lie to him or hold anything back. Her honesty made her extremely endearing. She was funny and carefree, and unlike some girls, she had a positive outlook on life. If it wasn't for Y/N, Johnny doubted that he would've made it through all the crap he went through during college.
No doubt, Johnny had fallen for her. But he refused to act on those feelings. To do so would be unfair to Jieun, despite them not really dating. More importantly, Y/N deserved someone better than him. Someone who actually appreciated her beauty and unique traits. She deserved someone who loved her unconditionally and showed it in every aspect of their relationship.
Johnny watched as Jieun struck up a conversation with the other party-goers. His attention went back to Y/N and how drunk she looked earlier. He wished that he could've done something to prevent her from embarrassing herself. Y/N was the last person he wanted to hurt.
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The next thing you remember was waking up on the couch, your head resting on someone’s lap. Haechan was still sleeping soundly, and so were all of your friends except for Yuta. He was leaning against the wall, eyes closed. Everyone looked so peaceful.
"Ugh, my head." You moaned as you sat up. "This hangover is going to kill me."
"Can I get you anything?" Ten asked, coming out of his bedroom. He looked around the living room, noticing that the people who didn't make it home last night, were all passed out on the floor or on the couch.
You rubbed your forehead, getting up and padding towards the kitchen. “Coffee, please.”
He handed you the mug and a pack of Advil. "Are you feeling better?"
"Just peachy." You replied sarcastically. "Not at all.”
Ten laughed. "Don't worry, you'll feel better tomorrow."
As soon as he walked back into the living room to wake everyone up, you finished your mug of coffee and padded into your bedroom to freshen up. You went through your closet, trying to figure out what to wear. You needed to dress casual, since you planned on spending most of the day lounging around the house, drinking coffee and playing games. Unfortunately, you couldn't decide between wearing sweatpants or shorts. Finally, after much deliberation, you chose to pair leggings with a gray tank top. Once you were done, you wandered back into the living room to wait for everyone else to wake up.
You didn't need to wait too long. Before you knew it, Taeyong and Renjun joined you at the kitchen table with cups of coffee. Mark rubbed at his eyes, sitting up from the couch, Haechan stirred next to him.
“Where did you two sleep?” You asked Taeyong and Renjun, curious.
Taeyong gave you a pointed look. “Like on the floor. At least Yuta was against the wall.”
You grinned. "I'm surprised no one took over my bed."
"I'm surprised no one put you to bed," Yuta muttered as he joined the group.
"Haechan was hogging her on the couch." Mark sleepily muttered.
"I was going to help her to her room but then I got sleepy and she was sleepy," Haechan yawned. "So we both passed out on the couch."
"Who didn't go home last night?" You asked Ten .
"Mark, Haechan, Renjun, Taeyong, and Yuta." Taeil replied. "Oh. Kun passed out on my bedroom floor."
“Haha. Let's go get breakfast once they wake up. What should we do today?” You asked the group of hungover men.
“Eat breakfast. Drink more coffee. Play video games. Whatever you want.” Kun shrugged, coming from Ten's bedroom. He stretched and yawned loudly. “Today is a free day. We can do whatever you want."
“Okay, sounds good. Can I shower first?” You asked, rubbing your eyes.
“Of course. Don't take too long. We're waiting.” Taeyong smirked.
“Whatever.” You replied. You slowly trudged upstairs to your bedroom. Once you were inside, you stripped off your clothes, letting them fall to the floor. You slid under the warm spray of water and scrubbed your hair vigorously. Soon, you stepped out of the shower, toweling off your hair and wrapping the towel around your body. Then you pulled on a pair of black yoga pants and an old, faded red t-shirt. Once you were ready, you padded downstairs to grab your purse and keys.
Once you returned to the living room, you found everyone waiting for you. They all sat around the living room, sipping on their morning coffees.
"Alright, let's go get breakfast." You declared happily.
"Good idea." Yuta agreed, getting up from the couch. "Let's not waste another minute here."
"We don't need another minute." Mark commented, looking around the room.
When you arrived at your favorite restaurant, everyone piled out of the car, stretching and yawning. The restaurant was fairly empty, save for the employees. So, when the owner came up to greet you all, you smiled.
"Morning! Glad to see my favorite group of hungover college kids." She beamed, her arms wide opened.
You stepped into her arms. "Morning mom. Can you feed us now?"
"Anything for my favorite daughter." Your mom kissed your cheek, ignoring your comment that you were her only child. Your mom looked at the rest of the group. “Now what can I get for you hungover kids?”
“Your egg sandwiches, auntie.” Ten muttered.
“Coffee.” Mark yawned. “Lots and lots of coffee.”
“Can I get toast, bacon, and fries, auntie?” Renjun asked.
"Oh, god, come on." Taeyong groaned, sitting down at a nearby table. "Just give me some coffee and bacon, I'll be fine. Please auntie."
After you placed your order, you settled down at the table, joining your friends.
"Why are we meeting here every morning?" Yuta yawned, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Because it's close to campus, you get free food and you know my mom loves you all." You shook your head, helping the staff pour everyone coffee or orange juice into their mugs and cups. You made your thanks, the staff smiling.
"One of the perks of being Y/N's friends," Kun laughed. "Free food from her mom's restaurant. Lucky us."
"True that." Ten nodded, finishing off his egg sandwich. "Man, I love her mom's sandwiches."
"She makes the best ones." You agreed, stealing a fry from Renjun's plate.
A few minutes later, the rest of the food was delivered.
"Can I have your bacon and eggs?" Ten asked, pointing at your plate.
You raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think you deserve to eat someone else's bacon?"
"Doesn't hurt to ask." He grinned, grabbing your plate. "But you can always share."
Everyone chuckled as you shoved a fry into Ten's mouth.
"So where did Johnny end up going last night?" You asked suddenly. “I really didn’t see him last night. I mean I saw him before I passed out.”
"He didn't stay long." Mark answered. "Around midnight, he left with Jieun."
"Ah." You frowned. "Makes sense. They never stay long whenever I'm around."
"They probably just wanted to spend time together." Kun explained. "Jieun and Johnny were really cute together. She followed him everywhere he went."
"Did you ever tell him that you liked him?" Yuta asked you suddenly.
"What?" You blinked. How did Yuta know about that?
"You did flirt with him a little." Renjun reminded you. "At least, that's what I saw."
"Whatever." You rolled your eyes. "It was barely any flirting."
"Come on Y/N," Mark shook his head. "Johnny was staring at you the whole night before Jieun came."
"It's the tatts, Mark." You replied. "He was asking me about them earlier."
"Seriously though." Yuta continued. "If you like him, why didn't you ever say anything?"
"I thought he'd never notice me." You sighed, knowing that there was no way to escape the converstation. "I'm not the type of girl that guys usually like."
"Really?" Mark raised an eyebrow. "There's nothing wrong with you."
"It's the tatts, huh?" Taeyong muttered, looking at your tattooed arm. "I mean, I love a girl that has tatts."
"Guys will always find something to complain about." You nodded your head. “But thanks for that Taeyong.”
"Well," Renjun interrupted, chuckling slightly. "There's nothing wrong with your tattoos."
"Yeah." Haechan agreed. "They're pretty cool."
"I agree." Ten smiled. "And sexy as hell."
You blushed, ignoring everyone's laughter. But it wasn't long before you were in a conversation about your tattoos again. About how pretty you thought they were and about how unique each tattoo was. It felt good, having such amazing friends that were willing to talk about your ink. You knew it would probably never happen with other groups of guys you hung out with. Not because they didn't care, but because they were afraid to offend you. Which is why you weren't surprised when the subject turned to sex.
It was always sex with these guys.
Why were you friends with these sex-crazed guys?
"So..." Taeyong started, shooting a pointed glance at you. "Are there any guys here you want to bang?"
"Hear me out. I know he has a girl and I know someone's going to beat me up for saying it or even thinking of it," You decided to just tell the truth. You looked around biting your lip, making sure your mom didn’t hear you. "Johnny. He seems like a good fuck."
"Damn," Haechan raised his eyebrows. "Y/N and Johnny would be hot, to be honest."
"No shit." Renjun nodded. "They'd be the hottest couple on campus."
You rolled your eyes and laughed with the others. You and Johnny? If only that was possible.
He still has a girlfriend after all.
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The days passed quickly. After hanging out with the group for breakfast, you usually went off on your own, doing homework or just spending time alone in your room. But one day, after lunch, you decided to join your friends again. This time you met up with Taeyong, Doyoung, Winwin, Xiaojun, and Jaemin.
You sat at the table, eating as everyone told you stories about who they hooked up with last night. You rolled your eyes when Taeyong started telling you about his drunken hookup with a girl named Minah.
"Drunk sex?" You scoffed, giving him a look. "Really?"
"Don't act like you haven't done that." Taeyong narrowed his eyes. "With as many times as you had drunken sex with Doyoung."
"Please don't bring that up. Every time you guys mention it, I feel bad." You groaned as Doyoung sputtered on his food. You reached out and patted his back. “But admit it Doyoung, the sex was good.”
"We don't mention it!" Taeyong responded to you, rolling his eyes at Doyoung’s reaction. "It's not our fault you're always horny!"
"Shut up. Just shut up." You threw your napkin at him, the others laughing.
You were surprised when the next person you noticed looking at you wasn't Xiaojun or Doyoung or Jaemin or even Winwin. Instead, it was your very handsome friend, Johnny. You didn't even know he would be here. He was out with others that were in his classes.
His dark brown eyes met yours across the room. There was something about the way he stared at you that made you blush. Your cheeks were hot. Even your ears felt hot. Why was this guy looking at you so intensely? And so much?
“Is there a reason why you’re staring at Johnny so much?” Xiaojun asked, leaning back in his chair.
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. “Um…”
"She wants to fuck him." Jaemin muttered. "Renjun told me the other day."
"But then again, what girl doesn't want to fuck, Johnny?" You asked, shrugging your shoulders. "Jieun is one lucky bitch."
You tried not to look at him anymore. Because whenever you looked at him, your stomach would flip. He was just too beautiful. Too sexy. Too perfect. It didn't help that he was already famous for dating the popular girl. Not that you weren't popular.
No wonder every single girl kept trying to hit on him. You included. You've been fighting the urge to kiss him since you met him at that event you hosted with Mark for the foreign exchange students. But he still had a girlfriend. A serious girlfriend.
Yet, here you were, constantly looking at Johnny like he was a piece of candy that you desperately wanted. Or maybe like you were salivating at the sight of him. Yes, that sounded more appropriate.
Like you wanted to eat him alive.
You wanted to suck on his lips. Suck on his tongue. Slap his hard cock against your naked pussy.
God, you wish you could touch him. Touch his face. His arms. His chest. Hell, just touch his skin. To see if it was as soft as it looked.
Or if it was rough.
Maybe Johnny likes rougher sex than the girls he normally slept with. What do you know about him, huh? Nothing. And yet, you keep imagining yourself with him. Imagining how it would feel to lay beneath him, letting him fuck you from behind. Thinking about how incredible it would feel to take his load all over your face. Or maybe deep inside you. The possibilities were endless. You just couldn't seem to stop thinking about him.
Your friends didn't know about the way you fantasized about him.
At least, they hadn't said anything. Yet.
"Ah, fuck." You let out a sigh, running a hand through your hair. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Doyoung gave you a concerned look. “You okay, Y/N?”
You nodded in reply.
You were seriously losing control. That was a first. For as long as you could remember, you had been able to hold yourself back from acting on your urges. The fact that you had no self-control around him should've made you realize you shouldn't be with him. It should make you run away. But instead, your heart yearned to feel his body pressed against yours.
Why? You wondered. Why did you keep wanting him?
You took another bite of your salad, listening to your friends talking amongst themselves. And once again, Johnny’s name was brought up.
“Yeah, I heard he spent most of the weekend with Jieun.” Xiaojun said casually.
You sighed softly, hoping that he wouldn’t ask any questions about it.
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The next week was rather uneventful. Since it was your last year of college, you have stayed late almost every night studying or doing homework. Sometimes, if your apartment was occupied, you would go to Hendery’s, Jeno’s or Yangyang’s rooms and study there since they often partied, playing sports or going to the gym. So you were surprised when Wednesday afternoon found you walking back to your apartment alone.
As you approached your building, you noticed Johnny standing near the front doors. Of course he was there. No doubt he had been waiting for you.
His posture screamed 'alpha male'. All six feet one inch of him stood rigidly, like he was prepared to strike at any moment. And the muscles in his arms and chest were clearly defined under his tight black shirt. Damn. You wanted to get closer to him, to see if those bulging biceps were real.
You swallowed nervously. How does a girl like you even get a chance to meet the guy that every other girl wants? What makes you different from all the rest? You were one of his best friends that's for sure.
You watched as he began talking to someone. A girl. And she seemed to respond well to his attention. She smiled as he leaned down to speak to her. She giggled. She touched his arm lightly. She probably thinks she's special. Probably thinks that he's interested in her. As if.
But he looks happy. Smiling. Even talking to her. Ah, this must be Jieun, the girlfriend. She was actually really cute. Much prettier than you expected her to be. Short hair cut in a layered style. Brown eyes. And a small nose.
The way his gaze lingered on her for a few moments longer than necessary, she seemed to be flattered. She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing him tightly. Her head resting on his shoulder as she gazed at him with longing. It was then that you realized that he was completely oblivious to your presence.
What was wrong with you? Why are you watching them like that? Why can't you turn away? God damn it! Stop acting like some sort of pervert.
You cleared your throat. Maybe he won't notice you if you ignore him. It worked the last time. Didn't it?
But to your dismay, he did.
"Hi Y/N!" He said cheerfully, looking up and meeting your gaze. "I've been waiting for you."
Oh god.
"Hey Johnny," You forced yourself to say. Your voice came out low and shaky. You struggled to find your words. Suddenly, you felt like an awkward teenager again. Like your face was on fire.
Johnny nodded towards Jieun, causing her to frown slightly. Then he shot you a mischievous smile. "Let's go up."
It took everything you had to push past him and enter your building. Thankfully, Jieun left before you reached your apartment door. You were grateful. You didn't need her prying questions right now.
Inside your home, you stood in the living room, suddenly feeling extremely nervous. Ten wasn’t home yet, so you felt a bit nervous that you were left alone with Johnny. This had never before. Why all of a sudden were you feeling nervous in front of your best friend?
"Do you want a drink?" You offered nervously. "A soda or water? Wine?"
"A glass of red wine sounds nice." He replied without hesitation.
Relief flooded you as you hurried to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Thankfully, you had stocked the fridge earlier that day.
When you returned to the living room, Johnny was sitting on the couch, sipping his wine and watching TV.
He's so gorgeous. Why does he have to be so goddamn beautiful?
"So..." You started awkwardly. "How have you been?"
"Same old, same old." He shrugged. "What about you?"
You frowned. "Nothing new. Apart from hanging with the guys.”
He glanced at you quickly. Something passed between the two of you. Something strange. Something exciting. You squirmed in your seat, trying to focus on anything else besides the way his eyes smoldered at you. You felt like your whole world was going crazy. Everything around you became fuzzy. The way his voice sounded. The way his muscles flexed underneath his clothes. The way he gazed at you. Oh god.
Fuck.
Stop it. You chided yourself. This isn’t happening. Don’t give in to him. This is bad. Really bad.
“I’m glad we finally got to hang out tonight.” He said after a few moments of silence.
“Me too.” You replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “I mean, I guess I haven’t seen you since you’ve been busy with Jieun.”
Johnny nodded thoughtfully. “True.”
"You never talked about her." You pointed out quietly.
He grimaced. "We don't really talk about her that often."
"Do you like her?"
"Who?"
You exhaled sharply. "Jieun. Do you like her?"
Johnny furrowed his brows. "Why do you ask?"
You hesitated, wishing you hadn't brought it up. "Well...you look pretty happy when you're with her."
He smiled briefly. "It's complicated."
"Are you two together?" You questioned. "Is that why you always sit with her during class?"
"Well, we're definitely close." He said simply.
And then, he was silent.
“Isn’t she your girlfriend?” You blurted out. “Shouldn’t you spend time with her instead of me?”
He cocked his head to the side. “No, we’re not together.”
“Really?” You felt relieved. Thank god.
Johnny laughed. “Of course. We aren’t dating. We’ve slept together a few times but we’re not dating.”
You breathed a sigh of relief. Good. At least he was being honest. You tried not to think about what kind of relationship they had. What kind of relationship they had had. But you couldn’t help but notice how they interacted with each other. The way they looked at each other. How they held hands.
“Was my best friend jealous?” Johnny peered at your face, a smile on his lips. “Because I could swear that you were staring at us.”
“I was not!” You denied. “There was nothing to stare at.”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t try and deny it.”
“No, I’m telling the truth. There was nothing to stare at.” You insisted.
“Sure there was.” He grinned, taking another sip of his wine.
“Trust me. There was nothing.” You responded forcefully. “There was no reason for me to watch you and Jieun together. You weren’t kissing or anything.”
“Really?” His expression grew serious. “What if I asked you to kiss me right now? Would you?”
“Fuck, Suh.” You burst out. “That’s impossible. You know that, right?”
“But would you want to?” He persisted. “Would you kiss me right now if I asked you?”
“I…” You stopped.
How the hell was you supposed to answer that question?
This conversation was turning into something you never expected it to be. Was it really just a friendly request or something more?
And what would your friends say if they saw you two making out in the middle of the living room? If they saw you grinding against him on the couch?
“God dammit.” You groaned, slumping back onto the couch. “Johnny, what the fuck are you doing to me?”
“Hmmm?” He peered at you curiously.
“Why does this have to happen?” You groaned, trying hard not to panic. “What are you trying to do to me?”
He gave you a playful smile. “I'm not doing anything to you.”
Your shoulders slumped in defeat. “Then why am I feeling this way?”
“Because you want me.” He replied simply. “Because you’re attracted to me. Because you can’t resist me. Because you feel something when I look at you.”
His confession sent shockwaves through your body. You sat motionless on the couch. Unable to comprehend what he just told you. Unable to believe him.
“Are you attracted to me too?” You whispered. “Is that why you keep looking at me?”
Johnny stared at you silently for several seconds. Then he grabbed your hand and squeezed it gently.
“Yes. Yes, I am.” He confirmed.
You gaped at him.
“Really?” You repeated hesitantly.
“I'm not lying to you.” He assured you. “I want you. I want you so badly that I can barely breathe sometimes. But if I tell you that, will you run away? Will you break our friendship because of this?”
“No.” You answered instantly. “No. I’d never do that. I wouldn’t even be able to think straight. Not to mention the fact that the guys would kill me.”
He chuckled. “Why’s that?”
“They know that I have a thing for you.” You admitted. “They see the way I look at you. They tease me about it all the time. I guess it’s easier for them to accept it if they knew that I’m attracted to someone who likes me back. Someone who I can be myself around. That’s why they won’t mind if we date. As long as I’m with someone who accepts me.”
He grinned. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“So…what should we do?” You asked tentatively.
He raised his eyebrows. “About what?”
“Um…this.” You gestured towards yourself. “This attraction between us. It seems like we both want it. So…is it possible that maybe we could…I don’t know…do something about it? Maybe meet up somewhere private? Or at least have sex. In my bed? On your couch?”
Johnny’s eyes lit up. “You want to have sex with me?”
“Fuck, Johnny.” You ran your hand through your hair, noticing his eyes on your tatted arm. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” He murmured huskily. “Like I'm going to take you upstairs and rip your clothes off? Like I'm going to shove my cock inside you and fuck you until you scream?”
You moaned. Fuck yes. That's exactly what you want.
“Don’t you want to?” He pressed. “Don’t you want me to make love to you? To touch every inch of your skin? To lick your nipples and suck on your breasts?”
You bit your lip.
“Fuck. Please stop talking. Just fucking fuck me already.” You moaned, unable to contain your arousal any longer.
He smirked. “All right. All right. But just to warn you. I plan on treating you like the goddess that you are. Every part of your body is going to feel good to me. I’ll make sure you come over and over again.”
A fire ignited within you. This is exactly what you needed. Exactly what you wanted. The idea of getting fucked by him sent a thrill throughout your body. You loved hearing him say those words to you. Words that only a man like him could utter. And knowing that you wanted to have sex with him didn’t hurt either. It made you feel incredibly desirable.
“Tell me. Tell me what you want me to do.” Johnny said softly.
“Do whatever you want.” You replied breathlessly. “Just please. Make me cum.”
He chuckled. “If that’s what you want.”
You nodded eagerly. A devilish grin formed on his lips.
He stood up from the couch. Grabbing your hand, he pulled you up from the sofa. With one swift move, he tossed you over his shoulder.
He strode quickly towards the staircase. You shrieked, clutching at his shirt tightly. You kicked your legs wildly, desperately trying to escape from his grip.
Johnny was much stronger than you realized. Within seconds, he had thrown you down onto your bed. With one quick movement, he jumped on top of you. Your heart thundered against your chest.
He leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours. Kissing you fiercely.
Your body responded instinctively. Your pussy throbbed, begging for attention. Your nipples hardened beneath your shirt, yearning for a hard squeeze.
As his tongue probed into your mouth, his hands slid underneath your shirt. Pushing it up and off your shoulders.
His warm fingers trailed over your skin. Sending chills throughout your entire body. His lips trailed down your neck, licking and sucking at your sensitive flesh. Every single movement was driving you wild.
Every stroke of his tongue and caress of his fingertips set you on fire. You were soaking wet, longing for him to take you. For him to fill you with his cock. To give you the pleasure you deserve.
The moment his fingers brushed against your nipple, you let out a moan.
You arched your back, thrusting your breast towards him.
He chuckled. “God, Y/N. Are you trying to kill me?”
He grasped your bra, tearing it apart with ease. Your nipples sprang free. He rubbed his thumb over them, sending shocks of pleasure coursing through your body.
“Oooohhhh, Johnny.” You moaned.
He grinned wickedly. “Does that feel good, baby? Do you like it when I play with your tits? When I suck on your nipples?”
“Yessss.” You gasped. “More. More. Fuck.”
“Oh god.” He groaned, biting down gently on your nipple.
He continued to flick his tongue across your other nipple, flicking harder each time. Your cries became louder. You felt like you were going to explode. It took everything in you not to reach down and unzip his pants.
Instead, you threw your head back and wrapped your arms around his neck. Tugging at his hair as he teased your nipples. Moaning loudly whenever he touched your skin.
Johnny smiled. He licked his lips hungrily, giving your breasts one last slow suck before letting go.
Leaving you panting for air.
“I've got to be honest with you, baby.” He breathed, pushing himself up onto his knees. “You taste amazing. Better than anything I've ever tasted before. And there's nothing else I'd rather do right now than to spend hours tasting every inch of your gorgeous body. Touching you. Kissing you. Licking you. And slowly entering you. Until I fill you with my cum.”
“Mmmmm. Fuck yes.” You whimpered, your voice sounding like an echo in the empty bedroom.
“Now where were we?” He asked slyly. “Ahh yes, your tits. Did you want me to suck on them some more? Maybe eat you out while I played with your tits?”
“Yes.” You breathed. “Please. Oh god, yes. Please.”
He chuckled. “Anything for you, baby. Anything.”
Slowly standing up, he began to strip off his shirt. Each piece of clothing was removed with great care. His tattoos were displayed prominently. They looked beautiful as always. The sight of them caused you to sigh in appreciation.
Once his shirt was completely gone, he leaned forward, placing a tender kiss on your stomach.
“That's better.” He whispered. “Now you're ready for me.”
His hands sliding your pants off. His lips kissing the insides of your thighs. Caressing your inner thigh with every kiss. Leaving you quivering with desire.
“Fuck!” You cried out. “Stop teasing me. Please. Just fuck me. Now!”
“Shhh.” He whispered. “Not yet. Not yet. There's still so much left to do first. Don't worry. You'll get what you need soon enough.”
Your hands dug into his hair, pulling his face closer to your pussy. You moaned loudly. The sounds of your pleasuring filling the room. His hot breath tickling your inner thighs. Your panties drenched with your juices.
Johnny looked up at you, his dark eyes darkened with lust.
“Look at me. Look how beautiful you are.” He said huskily. “Watch me taste you. Watch as I rub my tongue over your clit. See how good it feels. Know that I'm doing it to you. That I want to eat you out so badly.”
He gripped your hips, tugging you upwards. Opening his mouth wide. Licking your entire pussy, slowly spreading your juices.
Lapping at you slowly, teasingly. Going lower and lower until his tongue found your swollen clit. Pressing hard against it, rubbing his tongue in circles.
“Fuuuck.” You cried out. “Johnny! Johnny!”
“Such dirty talk, baby.” He said with a laugh. “Let me hear it. Let me hear you beg for me to make you cum. I want to hear you screaming for me.”
You clawed at his back, trying to pull his face deeper into your pussy. Screaming obscenities. Making animalistic sounds. Biting down on your pillow as he gave you all the pleasure you deserved.
Finally, his tongue plunged deep inside your pussy. Flicking over your clit in rapid succession. Sucking on it and flicking it. Pulling away occasionally to tease you. Tasting your juices. Giving you an extra burst of pleasure every time.
His pace increased rapidly. Pulling away for brief moments only to return immediately. Giving you even more pleasure than you expected. Soon you were trembling, nearing the point of no return.
It took everything you had not to lose control. Your entire body was consumed by ecstasy. Your pussy contracting rhythmically around his mouth. Pumping his tongue inside you, trying to keep yourself from coming. From exploding with orgasmic bliss.
But you couldn't hold it anymore. You began to cry out. Your body shuddered.
Sensing your impending climax, Johnny stopped sucking on your clit. He withdrew his tongue, but kept his lips firmly pressed against it. Keeping your orgasm contained.
His hands remained firmly on your hips. Tugging at your hips, forcing your body further upwards. You cried out as you tried to pull his face back into your pussy. Trying to force yourself to cum.
You came with a loud scream, your entire body tensing. Johnny followed your lead, groaning loudly as you pushed your pussy back into his face. Your thighs squeezing tight around his head, pulling him tighter against your clit. Your entire body trembling violently. Spasms racking your body. Bringing forth the most intense sensation you had ever experienced.
Suddenly, he stopped. Letting go of your hips. Sliding off your sweaty body. Standing up from the bed. Looking down at you.
“Baby, I know you came, but I'm not done yet.” He said quietly.
Looking down at your spread thighs, he smirked. He began to undo his pants.
You panted, waiting impatiently for him to reveal his erection. You knew what was coming next. You knew this would be the moment of truth. Would he be able to satisfy you? Would he actually be able to give you the satisfaction you were craving?
With one swift motion, his erect cock sprung free. Your eyes widened, almost as if you were surprised to see it. You hadn't been expecting it to be that big.
And you weren't wrong. His cock was absolutely enormous. Longer than any penis you had ever seen. Bulging with potential. You wondered if he could possibly fit inside you.
If he would hurt you.
But you know he wouldn't.
You stared at his cock hungrily, staring at it in disbelief. In awe. You reached out tentatively, touching it lightly. Fingers shaking slightly. Shaking as they traced their way along its length.
You felt the weight of it in your hand. Thicker than any cock you had ever felt. Fuller than any dick you had ever seen.
Before you could fully appreciate his massive erection, he grabbed hold of your wrist. Moving your hand to the tip of his cock.
“Just think about it.” He said quietly. “Imagine how amazing it will feel. Just imagine the sensations running through your body. Imagine how incredible it will feel to have this inside of you. How much more powerful it will be than any dick you've ever had before.”
Thinking about how large his dick would feel stretching your pussy open. Knowing that once he penetrated you, he would never leave. He would be inside you forever. Bringing you so much pleasure.
Giving you such pleasure. Satisfying you so deeply. Giving you what you needed. Allowing you to finally release all your pent up sexual tension. Giving you the ultimate sexual experience.
Feeling overwhelmed with emotion, you placed your lips against the head of his cock. Your tongue darting out. Drawing the warm liquid from his shaft. Overwhelmingly delicious.
Moving down, your lips parted. Your tongue sliding out of your mouth. Stretching out towards his cock. Swirling around it like a tiny tornado. Slickly coating his member with saliva. Getting him nice and wet. Allowing you to slide it further inside your mouth. Gently sucking on it, making sure to take it all in.
“Fuck.” He growled. “Oh fuck. You are so fucking sexy. So beautiful.”
Smiling brightly, you returned his compliment. Leaning forward, your tongue moved further into his crotch. Taking him even deeper inside your mouth. Tongue twirling around his thick base. Up and down the full length of his shaft. Playing with his balls. Feeling the resistance of his perineum.
Slowly moving back up to his tip. Taking him deeper inside your mouth again. Working your way down, taking him all the way to the bottom. Running your tongue along the underside of his shaft. As you slid back up to the tip, you sucked on it gently.
He groaned loudly, reaching out to grab hold of your head. Pushing you downwards so he could sink even deeper into your throat. Your nose pressed against his pubes, inhaling the musky scent. Sucking on his cock like it was a popsicle. Gagging a little bit. His thick length hitting the back of your throat with each movement.
Panting heavily, he held your head firmly in place. Gasping for air as he let out another moan. His dick pulsating wildly inside your mouth. Fluid seeping out of the end of his cock. Massaging your throat. Causing it to tingle pleasantly.
As he released his grip, you released his cock from your mouth. Pausing for a moment to catch your breath. Smiling happily at him. Proud of yourself for being able to handle his huge cock.
He smiled back at you. Reaching down, his fingers wrapping around your chin. Pulling you close to him. He kissed you passionately. Wrapping his arms around you. Holding you tightly. He tasted wonderful. His scent intoxicating. His warmth reassuring.
Gripping your ass tightly, he pulled you onto his lap. Sitting you down onto his hard cock. Watching as it filled your pussy. Slowly slipping inside of you.
Stopping halfway inside you, he gently lifted you up. Removing his erection from your pussy. Grinning as he laid you down on the bed. Positioning himself between your legs. His hard cock positioned at your entrance.
Pulling back slightly, he looked down at you. Seeing the desire in your eyes. Waiting for him to thrust his thick cock inside of you.
Taking a deep breath, he gripped your waist tightly. Slowly pushing forward. Delving inside of you. Feeling you wrap your legs around him. Tightening them around his body. Moaning loudly as he filled you completely.
Releasing his grip on your waist, he grabbed hold of your wrists. Placing them above your head. Hanging limply as he slowly fucked you. Gently pumping his cock into you.
Grinding your hips against him. Panting as you struggled to breathe properly. Wanting desperately to touch his cock, to stroke it. To watch it twitch in your hand. But he didn't allow you to do anything. He continued to thrust into you. Stroking his dick as fast as he could.
“Please.” You begged. “I need you to come inside of me. Please.”
Chuckling, he responded. “Not yet, sweetheart. Not just yet.”
His words spurred you on. Suddenly wanting nothing more than to feel his load splatter inside of you. Needing to feel his seed filling your pussy. Pouring into your body. And you would love every minute of it. Every single second.
He suddenly pulled out of you. Rolling over onto his back. “Climb on top of me. Put your tits in my face. I want to suck on them while you ride me.”
Lifting your ass, you quickly straddled his naked body. Hooking your fingers behind his neck. Settling yourself down onto his hard cock. You moaned loudly as you impaled yourself on him. Your hips bucking back and forth.
Johnny gripped your breasts, tugging on your nipples as you rode him. Squeezing your nipples hard. Twisting them as you slammed your pussy down on his dick. Slowly increasing the speed. Riding him faster and harder until he felt the familiar pressure building up inside of him.
“Hang on baby. Hang on. I'm going to come. Oh god.”
Moaning loudly, you brought yourself closer to climax. Johnny's dick pounding your walls relentlessly. Your whole body shuddering uncontrollably.
Feeling his climax building, Johnny wrapped his arms around you. Holding you tightly. Ensuring that you remain steady. Bringing you closer to release. Kneading your breasts, milking them roughly. Pleasuring them until you were completely overcome by pleasure.
Your orgasm ripping through your body. Crashing down upon you with relentless force. Sweeping you away into an ocean of pure bliss.
He moaned loudly, holding you tight. Panting heavily as he came inside of you. Your pussy gripping him tightly. Keep his semen within you. Silencing his lustful thoughts. Pushing them away, allowing him to rest peacefully.
Holding you closely, he watched as your climax slowly faded away. You lay on his chest, your breathing still erratic.
“So good.” You breathed softly.
“So fucking good.” He agreed. “That was the best. The absolute best."
"The best sex I've had in a long time." You let out a small laugh. You heard the front door of your apartment opening and closing, hearing voices talking about Johnny's coat and shoes. Someone, sounded like Taeyong, laughing at how you and Johnny finally fucked.
"I can hear you guys!" You yelled.
Johnny chuckled. "So I guess the guys are right outside, and they know exactly what happened."
Groaning, you buried your face into Johnny's shoulder. "I can hear Renjun and Haechan asking me all sorts of questions."
Smirking, Johnny spoke. "We can just tell them that the hot tattooed people are finally a couple."
"A couple?" You asked, lifting your head up. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"Well, I originally came to see you tonight because I was on a mission." He laughed. "Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N?"
Laughing loudly, you hugged him tightly. "I'd love to be your girlfriend, Johnny."
Letting out a sigh of relief, he relaxed against you. "Thank god."
He mumbled, resting his head against yours. Breathing in your lovely scent, he listened to the sound of your heart beating. "This is the first time I've been with someone I really care about. So I don't want to mess it up. It has to work."
Snuggling against him, you smiled. "Don't worry. We'll figure it out together."
"Can I tell you something?"
"Yes." You answered, curious to hear what he was going to say.
"I love you." He told you. "And you need to know that."
"I love you too." You mumbled, running your fingers through his messy hair. "Forever."
He closed his eyes, biting his lower lip. A mischievous smirk appeared on his lips. He looked down at your tattooed sleeve, running his finger over a sunflower one. "I really love this design. What does it mean?"
You chuckled. "Sunflowers remind me of you."
Johnny froze, looking down at your tattoo.
You were shocked to see tears forming in his eyes. But you didn't have time to worry about it because he immediately placed a tender kiss on your lips.
Your heart fluttered wildly at his actions. Never had you felt so alive.
So happy.
So loved.
You hugged him tightly.
"Remember when you used to tease me about getting tattoos?" He asked you, giving you a sheepish smile. He caressed your cheek. "Remember when I told you I wouldn't get another one unless you joined me?"
"Yup." You nodded. "What happened to getting one with me?"
"I eventually got it with Taeyong and Yuta since I wasn't sure whether you wanted one with me or not." Johnny explained. "I'm still waiting to get one with you."
"What if I gave you the tattoo?" You offered, tracing his shoulder tattoo. "One of my designs so it's like you're taking me with you anywhere you go."
"I would love to be inked by you." Johnny whispered, turning his gaze towards you. "Anywhere you want."
Your breath hitched. This is exactly what you wanted.
You could only imagine the gorgeous tattoos you would create together. They would be so incredibly beautiful. A masterpiece. You would cherish them forever.
It would also make you feel special. Knowing that no matter where you went, Johnny would always carry part of you with him. Always be thinking of you. Remembering you. Cherishing your creations.
You didn't know how you could express how grateful you were for his words. Or for him choosing you. Loving you. Being with you.
All you knew was that you were going to treasure these feelings for as long as possible.
319 notes · View notes
becauseimanicequeen · 5 months
Text
Don't Ask Me for QL Recommendations Because My Taste is BAD
Bad as in TRASHY.
For your own good, don't ask me for recommendations.
I'm writing this because I've gotten some asks lately for QL recommendations and I wanted to spare you the pain.
If you still don't trust me (because to be fair, why would you? I'm just a random weirdo on the internet), let me tell you how bad my taste is so you'll know why I'm doing you a great favor by sparing you the pain.
(I also watch, and rewatch, series/films for ridiculous reasons, yet another reason not to listen to me. I’ll come back to this in a minute.)
Let's start with a brief rewind to a couple of decades ago (because it matters in this context).
The first queer content of any kind I can remember watching was Xena: The Warrior Princess in the late 90s and early 00s (I was a child/pre-teen at the time). It was such a pivotal point for me, which is why I remember it vividly. Not only was Lucy Lawless (the actress playing Xena) the most beautiful human being I had ever seen at that point, Xena was also queer and I loved her.
The series, though? It’s bad.
It’s over-the-top, contains ridiculous humor, face-palm-worthy fight scenes, etc., etc. (But, it was also the 90s, so it was quality television at the time, no matter what anyone else says.) It was so bad that it was ridiculously entertaining. I would watch it today (if I could find it anywhere…). That’s how bad my taste is (or how attached I am to bad shit).
That’s when the groundwork for my bad taste was laid. I blame THANK Xena: The Warrior Princess for it.
Then there was a huge skip until July last year when I found the Asian QL world, because I had no idea it even existed (I’m from Europe, btw).
(My personal story is that I fell into the queer/gay film world before the QL world, and the queer films I could find were made and released very sporadically. But ever since I found the treasure trove of Asian QL series in July 2023, I’ve watched 291 series/films as of right now.)
The reason I fell into the Asian QL world was thanks to a Short on YouTube with the main characters from Roommates of Poongduck 304 kissing. (Want to know what convinced me to watch it? One of them was wearing blue and the other pink, two of my favorite colors. Yep, that’s the reason. Told you it would be ridiculous.)
Since then, I’ve been exploring this rabbit hole and loving every second of all the bad shit that’s out there (there’s some great shit too, and some great things that aren’t shit at all, but they’re not really my taste because my taste is trashy, remember?).
I quickly noticed what my taste was pulling me towards and, in some cases, the trashier it was, the more I liked it.
(I’m talking about fiction here. I’m mature enough to be able to separate fiction from reality. Just because I enjoy watching a series/film that depicts a problematic topic, and sometimes do it in a problematic way, doesn’t mean I condone it in real life. I’m just putting this here as a disclaimer because people on the internet are easily offended nowadays. And I honestly don’t have time to respond to people who are venting their anger after purposefully misinterpreting what I’ve said, unless there’s a very valid reason, which there usually isn’t.)
So, what are some of my favorites that I absolutely do not recommend you watch?
Unless you want to watch trash, then, have at it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.
(Btw, if you like any of these, I apologize for calling your taste bad and trashy. But, if you like any of these, I think you already know your taste is bad. Also, if you like any of these, hey, bestie!)
Let’s start with the less extreme ones so I don’t scare you away from the start. After that, they’re in no particular order.
(With the issues/TW section for each series/film I include possible trigger warnings, taboo topics, what viewers/commenters have brought up as problematic, my possible issues with the writing, etc. I won’t list everything (because some of them would have looong lists) but I’m including some of the major ones.)
Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan)
Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.
Both couples in this series have their own set of issues. Ai Di and Chen Yi are the “adoptive” brothers who become lovers while Ze Rui and Zong Yi have an age gap (I can’t remember how big of an age gap but I think it was close to 10-ish years).
(Before I move on there’s one thing you should know about me… I was born into a family with a varying degree of age gaps within marriages, from 2 to 23 years. Even though we’ve talked about the bigger age gaps occasionally, it’s never been an issue. I don’t mind age gaps as long as they’re legal. Does that mean I would hook up with someone in their late teens or early twenties? No. I would rather hook up with someone who has a fully developed brain, which science suggests doesn’t happen until somewhere in the mid-to-late-twenties. But it does mean that age gaps (as long as they’re legal) aren’t something I’ll be bothered by or judgemental of.)
Kiseki: Dear to Me is one of my favorite series because:
It’s from Taiwan, and the Taiwanese QLs are generally great at dealing with more difficult and taboo topics.
Ai Di is the feistiest, most colorful, and pettiest bitch and I love him with my entire ice-cold heart.
Chen Yi looks amazing in black.
The neon lights (because I’m a slut for that).
Also, the kissing (from both couples) is great.
You know, I did say that these would be series/films I absolutely do not recommend you watch. But I’ll actually recommend this one. Watch it. It’s great.
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Unknown (Taiwan)
Issues/TW: Age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.
This is another one I’ll actually recommend you watch because it’s great.
The main couple (Qian and Yuan) are the “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers while the age gap is most prominent between San Pang (Qian’s business partner) and Lili (Qian’s younger sister). There’s also the fact that San Pang is part of their chosen family and has seen Lili grow up and stuff. So, if that bothers you, then don’t watch it.
The biggest reasons I would personally recommend it to those I know aren’t particularly bothered by taboo topics are because:
The yearning is palpable (and I love shit like that).
Qian would move heaven and earth for his family.
The great story.
The even more amazing acting.
Some moments made me bawl (and since I'm an ice queen, I get obsessed with shit that shatters my ice and makes me cry).
I know I said my taste is trashy… but I would actually give myself a gold star for loving this one.
Now, back to the real trash…
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Love in the Air (Thailand)
Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, rape, MAME, etc.
Everyone and their aunt (or however the saying goes in English) seem to have an issue with MAME (the original creator of LITA and several other trashy BLs) and for good reason. (I would say that she improved a lot with Wedding Plan, which is the least problematic thing I’ve watched from her and it’s the latest series of hers, as of right now.) If she’s grown, remains to be seen. But it doesn’t change the fact that LITA has some issues.
Honestly, I just watch this for the visuals, as in the motorcycles and the neon lights. That’s it. That’s the reason.
I mean, if you look at the whole first sex scene between Sky and Prapai, you get what I mean with the neon lights. It’s divine. (I recently rewatched LITA for this very reason. A waste of time, you say? Not when you’re a slut for neon lights.)
Don’t watch this though! Just enjoy this gif instead…
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I just saved you 13-ish hours of your life. You’re welcome.
TharnType and TharnType 2: 7 Years of Love (Thailand)
Issues/TW: Dubious consent, homophobia, domestic violence, MAME, etc.
Don’t watch this. This is bad. As in, really bad. And all the issues are in the main couple’s relationship.
But, since my taste is really bad, I rewatched this recently for horny reasons (it’s Mew, after all, and he’s got me in a chokehold for some reason). It’s still as bad as I remembered it, but I would still rewatch it for Mew’s sake (and because Techno is ridiculous throughout both seasons, which means I love him).
To be fair there are other, a lot spicier, series that I watch more often for horny reasons (yes, some of them are in this post because they’re trashy too), but none of them include Mew. And since I have to get my dose of Mew from time to time, I return to TharnType (especially the second season).
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Big Dragon (Thailand)
Issues/TW: Dubious consent, blackmail, etc.
This isn’t that problematic in my opinion, but there is definitely a drug-induced sexcapade that’s taped and used for blackmail for a while. And that's how the series starts.
I recently did a rewatch of this and it was still bad (in a good way) and I loved every second of it.
What I love about this series are:
The visuals. The set designs are beautiful (especially Yai’s home and the bar, before he demolishes it). As a visual artist, this is speaking to my soul.
The chemistry between Yai and Mangkorn.
Pong and Park. Two idiots I love with my whole ice-cold heart.
And the title track because it’s addictive as hell to listen to.
Also, the sex (which my horny ass needs). Let's not forget the sex. Those scenes were also visually stunning, which made me love them even more.
Honestly, I'll kneel and bow down to this shit because it's that great.
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Don’t trust my judgment, though, because my taste is trashy.
Only Friends (Thailand)
Issues/TW: Manipulation, stalking, promiscuity, etc.
This series is messy in terms of intrigue (especially from Boston and then Boeing’s part). The ending had some issues. The sex isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, either. I, on the other hand, would drink a whole pot of this.
Overall, I loved this trash. Mainly because of:
How visually stunning it is.
Sand. He’s a hardworking, good person. He’s also a proud bi!
How they depicted and handled Ray’s addiction and recovery. (I know some watchers were upset that the focus of the series landed on Sand and Ray towards the end while neglecting the other characters, which is a valid point. However, setting that aside, the way they portrayed Ray’s addiction and then his road to recovery in the last couple of episodes was realistic, and I loved it.)
The promiscuity, because I loved it and the mess it created.
Boston being a slutty asshole. The more of a slutty asshole he was, the more I loved him. (I know, it’s a me-problem.)
Boeing coming in and kissing (almost) everyone.
It’s trashy, it’s messy, and I love it!
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But, I don’t recommend it to anyone.
My Beautiful Man 1, 2, and 3 Eternal (Japan)
Issues/TW: Dubious consent, obsession, bullying, lack of (or no real) communication, etc.
I love this series (2 seasons + 1 film), but I honestly don’t see it as particularly problematic. But I know others will disagree with me, so here it is on my list of trashy QLs.
I don’t mind Hira’s obsession because I know Kiyoi is just as whipped for Hira (even though he doesn’t know how to communicate it to Hira at first, especially in a way that Hira understands). Would I be okay with someone’s obsession and stalking in real life? Of course not. But, as I mentioned before, I’m mature enough to separate fiction from reality.
Also, I love miscommunicating characters, especially when the misunderstandings they create bring out all the emotions (angst, hurt, anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc.) and even the flight response. I especially love miscommunicating characters when they learn to communicate throughout the series/film. And this series is especially delicious on the miscommunicating part.
But, it’s also problematic, apparently. So, don’t watch it.
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The End of the World With You (Japan)
Issues/TW: Blackmail, biphobia, cheating, etc.
I’ll be honest and say that I’ve only watched this series three times. And that’s because the biphobia is fucking annoying. In this series, the bi character is depicted as a cheater (which is common in QLs, btw). It’s an exasperating stereotype. Cheating has nothing to do with your sexuality and everything to do with who you are as a person.
(I mean, you can be a proud bi like Payu in LITA or Sand in OF. They have eyes only for one person as soon as they’re pursuing or dating someone. Give me more bi characters like this, please.)
We could discuss how cheating can be used as characterization in certain stories. But not in this one. Here, they’re basically using Ritsu’s bisexuality as the reason he’s cheating (since he’s sleeping with Masumi while having a thing going on with a girl, and then sleeping with a girl when he has a thing with Masumi), which is why it’s bothering me in this series.
If I’m going to tell you why I like this series, however, it’s for 2 reasons:
It’s about getting a second chance, a topic I love.
The sex (laser-focused horny Ritsu is my favorite Ritsu).
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Check Out (Thailand)
Issues/TW: Biphobia, cheating, lazy writing, etc.
(It should be mentioned that I’ve read some comments about some issues involving the company behind this series. I haven’t dug deeper into this so I don’t really know if there’s any substance to the comments I’ve read (like official statements from the company or the other people involved, etc.). But I’m putting this out there in case this might be a potential issue for you (even though I’ve already told you that I don’t recommend you watch any of these because they’re all trashy).)
When I first checked this out at the beginning of this year, this series seemed to have created a storm of bad comments and reviews on MDL since it first came out. So, obviously, I needed to watch it because my taste is trashy.
And, you know what? I loved it!
Besides having the bi character depicted as a cheater (again, the use of this biphobic stereotype is so fucking annoying) and the sporadic clunky and stale scenes, I loved this series because:
It’s about second chances. As I mentioned before, I love that topic.
Best (the actor playing Daonuea) is the best in this series. There’s just something about him that grabs my attention every time. He has me in a similarly tight chokehold as Mew.
There’s sex (and my horny ass needs it).
But, it’s also trash, so don’t watch it.
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Pit Babe (Thailand)
Issues/TW: Domestic violence, non-consensual, SA, age gap, etc.
This became popular. Really popular. I saw people comment about it everywhere. And usually, when stuff becomes popular, it’s more than likely reduced to trash quality by the general public. So, obviously, I had to watch it.
Did I end up loving it? Yes.
Honestly, the biggest issue this series had for me was the whole omegaverse thing (this was a new thing for me because I don’t come from an erotic fiction background, my head was rather stuck in fantasy fiction). And, from my limited understanding of this, they didn’t seem to fully commit to the omegaverse thing in Pit Babe, which was unfortunate.
The racing was also so-so for me, which hurt my soul because I usually love racing (cars, mcs, boats, etc.).
What I did like, however, was:
The chemistry between Pete and Kenta (and I’m so sad I only got crumbs of this).
Pavel (the actor playing Babe). I would watch and listen to him recite product placement scripts for toothpaste all day long.
The sex, especially the scene with Babe and Charlie in ep. 9 (even though it was mixed with clips from the racing) and Jeff and Alan’s scene in ep. 13 (because it was sensual, if we ignore the music).
The neon lights (have I mentioned that I’m a slut for neon lights?). I mean, just look at this:
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I can watch that pinkish light all day long, even though Babe and Charlie are trying to distract me. (Especially Pavel!)
Dead Friend Forever (Thailand)
Issues/TW: Grooming, bullying, suicide & suicide attempts, etc.
Besides the issues listed above, this also suffered from lazy writing at the end. BUT, I fucking loved DFF anyway.
I never expected to love this series because it’s just a bunch of teenagers stuck at a house in the woods. How interesting could that be? Turns out, very.
DFF wasn’t perfect (perfection doesn’t exist anyway), but what I loved about it was:
The morally ambiguous characters.
The revenge plot.
The poetic justice.
The questioning of what was real vs hallucination.
The visually stunning shots.
The mask!
And Tan’s mask!
The beheading scene.
I could go on, but you get the point. I just love this piece of trash.
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But, please, don’t watch it. You will suffer from brain rot. Trust me.
I, however, am currently rewatching this because I choose the brain rot. And my taste is trashy, remember? Or, perhaps I just love watching chaos unfold…
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HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count (Taiwan)
Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, tragic ending, etc.
Everyone and their aunt and even their dog have an issue with the ending of this one. And it’s understandable.
I don’t necessarily like or dislike the ending. Obviously, the bury your gays trope is tragic in itself, and, tragically, it’s still being used. That’s why I couldn’t find myself liking the ending, even though I don’t mind tragic endings. (Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite classics, which people tend to forget is a tragedy and not a romance, btw, but I digress…)
At the same time, though, this series made me cry for a whole episode before tragedy struck because I could feel it. And you have no idea how obsessed I get about shit that makes me cry (since I’m an ice queen).
(Another side note: one of my favorite BLs is Once Again, which made me bawl throughout the whole series. It’s not on this list because it’s neither trashy nor bad, but it’s still one of my favorites because it broke me in the best ways. But, anyway…)
The best part of this series from beginning to end was the other couple, at least for me. This couple is the one with the age gap (which, again, doesn’t bother me) and I fucking love them! One, because Wilson Liu (the actor playing Bo Xiang) is such a gem. Second, because their first time was such a spur-of-the-moment thing fueled by a desire that went from 0-100kph in less time than a Ferrari would. And I loved it (just as much as the squeezing of boobs from behind, which, for some reason, appeals to me).
Also, the twins are so pretty it’s annoying.
Do I recommend it, though? No, because I don’t have time to respond to the clap back I’ll get when you come to the end.
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HIStory 4: Close to You (Taiwan)
Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, obsession, age gap, stepbrothers becoming lovers, etc.
This one has some problems (especially the relationship between Yong Jie and Xing Si), but I love both the series and its problems (yes, I’m trash). You could say that I’m as obsessed with this series as Yong Jie is with Xing Si. Would I get this series drunk and fuck the living daylights out of it? No. But I would watch it once every 3 months or so. Oh, wait… I already do that. Because I’m trash.
What do I love so much about this series (other than what I mentioned above):
It’s from Taiwan.
Li Cheng is ridiculous, which is exactly why I love him.
Every time I rewatch it, it gets funnier.
The chemistry between Li Cheng and Teng Teng is amazing.
As well as the chemistry between Yong Jie and Xing Si.
The kissing is just as amazing.
The main fujoshi girl, Mei Fang, is so cute I can’t handle her.
And the bathroom scene! In that lighting! It’s iconic!
I don’t care what anyone else says. This is fucking gold to me. But, then again, my taste is trash. So, don’t listen to me.
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KinnPorsche (Thailand)
Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, torture, Stockholm syndrome-ish, etc.
This is some next-level trash, and I fucking love it.
Two of the major relationships in this series (Kinn & Porsche and Vegas & Pete) are problematic at some point. Especially Vegas and Pete who have this whole captor/captive, torture, BDSM-ish type relationship. Of course, I love Vegas and Pete because my taste is super trashy (yes, it’s a me-problem, but I don’t force my taste on other people, so, for the love of all that is holy, don’t watch this!).
Other reasons I love this series and rewatch it from time to time:
It’s visually stunning! The cinematography is amazing. As I mentioned before, I’m a visual artist, so this is a very valid reason for me to watch it again and again. And again.
The neon lights.
The whole mafia thing.
The sex (because my horny ass needs it).
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Playboyy (Thailand)
Issues/TW: SA, homophobia, suicide, etc.
I was debating whether or not to add this to my list solely based on the ending. However, up until that point, I really liked it.
The fact that every episode starts with a whole ass list of trigger warnings tells me this is my shit. And it was.
At times, it was so bad that it was good (until the ending, which was just so bad it was bad). The things I liked were:
The mystery.
Win (who played Nuth). His acting was great.
The chemistry between Nuth and Phop.
The tattooed daddy that’s Aob and his chemistry with Puen (there’s also an age gap here, btw, but as I’ve mentioned before, it’s fine by me as long as it’s legal).
The weird ass sex scenes (and the underwear).
And the not so weird ass sex scenes (like the ones between Aob and Puen and the ones between Nuth and Phop).
But, this series is trashy. Keep as far away from it as possible. If you still decide to dip in, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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Red Wine in the Dark Night (Thailand)
Issues/TW: Obsession, blood, human blood bags, etc.
This is a queer film that’s BL-ish with some dark themes. Mainly, it’s about how far Wine would go to help the person he’s fallen for (or become attached to).
What I loved about this film was:
Fluke (who plays Wine). He’s such a great actor and I love him in everything he does.
Wine who is so desperate to love someone and be loved that he ends up doing some weird shit.
The darker and sadder vibe, which I love.
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Irresistible Love 1 and Irresistible Love 2 (China)
(This is also called Uncontrolled Love.) 
Issues/TW: Obsession, homophobia, codependency, adoptive brothers becoming lovers, etc.
This is another queer film (in two parts) that is more BL-ish than the films I’m getting into below.
This depicts a weird relationship dynamic between Xie Yan and Shu Nian where Shu Nian was basically adopted into the family to become Xie Yan’s friend/babysitter/lackey. This is some weird ass shit, and I love weird ass shit so I really enjoyed this rare, uncensored, gem from China.
But, it’s also trashy. So, don’t watch it.
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The next couple of films I’ll mention are (obviously) trashy, but also complex and deep (which is why I love them).
One Summer Night (South Korea)
Issues/TW: Obsession, dependency, oppression, etc.
This is a low-budget film from 2016 (so, production-wise, it’s definitely nothing like the usual stuff from South Korea you can watch on Netflix), but I love it.
It’s gritty, it’s raw, it’s explicit (an emphasis on explicit because you’ll see dicks), it deals with being a North Korean defector but ending up in an impoverished situation in South Korea, and it ends with a dubious ending you can interpret in different ways.
This is definitely not for the general QL viewers who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.
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And it's trashy. So, don’t watch it.
Dangerous Drugs of Sex (Japan)
Issues/TW: All the trigger warnings! Seriously. I feel like it’s better to say that so you’ll look up the TWs for yourself (if you choose to watch this, which I'm asking you not to) rather than me mentioning a few and forgetting others.
With this film, what others see are all the trigger warnings (and, yes, I see them too, they’re fucking obvious). However, I can see beyond that and watch it for what it is at the core: Two characters dealing with incredible grief.
Grief is a topic that often affects me and I can relate to it because I’ve had to deal with a lot of grief in my relatively short life. Watching a film like this where grief pushes the characters to their very limits will (often) get a special place in my heart, especially if done well. And it’s done very well in this film.
Do I condone the characters’ behaviors? No (especially not Yoden Ryoji’s). But I do understand that grief can send you over the edge (and in some cases throw you off the edge) because I’ve experienced it. I do understand that grief can cause you to make horrible decisions because I’ve done it (though, not this extreme). I do understand that grief can be self-destructive because I’ve been there. This film shows it all. That’s why I love it so much.
Do I recommend you watch this, tough? No. Don’t do it. This is not for everyone. It’s definitely not for those who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.
But it is for me because I love trash. Especially good trash. And this is the best trash I’ve ever seen when it comes to gay films.
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Anything by Scud Cheng
Lastly, I want to mention any film by Scud Cheng because…
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And I’m an artist so art means everything to me.
Cheng is a screenwriter and director from Hong Kong. His films, the ones I’ve seen, are gritty, nude, and real. They are more on the art side than the others I’ve listed above, which is why they have a special place in my heart.
They’re also deep and explore themes like introspection (are we doing things because we believe they’re the right thing to do, or because external forces have “brainwashed” us to believe they’re the normal thing to do?), the porn industry and how it exploits young and queer men, death, politics, and love, to name a few.
These are not for the average QL watcher. They’re not for the faint of heart. They’re not for those who want an entertaining watch.
These films require multiple viewings. I’ve watched some once, some twice, and some more times, and I still find new themes and meanings woven into the stories. So, they’re complex and deep.
But, don’t watch them because I know you’ll come at me later. So, to spare us both the time and energy it would take to argue about this shit, just don’t watch any of it.
Now, if you still want to ask me for recommendations after all that, don't tell me I didn't warn you!
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HEELLOOO!! Firstly,How are you? I hope you are doing good(sorry for my bad english its not my first language😭)
I absolutely loved the way you wrote hazbin hotel characters ESPECIALLY angel dust.I was wondering if you could write what would Angel Dust be like if its fallen angel!reader's first time? Reader is also insecure about their body since their wings and some parts of their body(not their face) burned when they fell and they are trying to get used to their new appereance(if you are comfortable with writing it ofc).Thank you so much!!🩷🩷
To make sweet love - Angel Dust x fallen angel!fem!reader
MATURE CONTENT AHEAD! MINORS DNI! Hey there, hun! I'm doing well, thank you! Hope you're doing great too 💕 And don't worry about the English, haha! It's not my first language either, so I totally get it. But honestly, your English is really good, so no need to stress! 💕 I absolutely loved your request, and I apologize if it took a bit longer to get to you. I usually try to get things done ahead of time because there are days I'm not home, so I like to have things in the queue to make sure I don't forget to post. So, sometimes new requests might come after the ones already lined up. Anyway, I had such a great time working on this—it was so sweet. You have no idea how much I adore Angie, and I really wanted to make sure he's showered with extra love💕I wasn't sure if he and the reader would be in an official relationship, so I wrote them in a more casual, really close, and comfortable dynamic—kind of like dating, but not quite officially dating, if that makes sense (but i guess you can consider them together by the end of it? It's up to you really). Hope you enjoy it! 💕
Words: ~3800 TW: corruption kink, cursing, first time sex, fingering, vaginal sex, oral (female receiving)
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It wasn't easy to adjust to a whole different world. After refusing to participate in the Extermination Day anymore, you were exiled into the realm of nightmares. You found yourself alone, your body bruised and torn after the flames engulfed it in your downfall. Your wings were no longer the ones of a divine saviour, worn with pride and confidence. They were burnt to ashes, only a few feathers managing to offer you a pang of comfort as you would gently wrap them around you.
But one day, gentle hands lifted you up from the ground. You were too tired to fight back, too hopeless to even care about your fate anymore. You closed your eyes and waited for the sweet death that would ease your pain, wondering what other tortures you'd have to endure at the hands of the ones you considered to be monsters. But you didn't die that day. Instead, you found yourself surrounded by the ones who were about to become your family.
Angel Dust was your saviour. You found it quite amusing when he told you his name because, for you, that's what he was - someone who saved you, who listened to your endless prayers and saved your life when you least expected.
Despite everyone's kindness, you found yourself growing more warm towards him and he seemed to enjoy being around you as well. He'd ask you to come to his room where you'd spend hours just talking. He'd ask endless questions about your life in Heaven, and you could sense that part of him wondered if things might have turned out differently for him under other circumstances.
But one day, after overhearing a conversation among sinners, your curiosity got the better of you, as you became quite curious about a topic that was a bit taboo among angels - fornication. You knew that for many people this simple thing led to their damnation, but you couldn't help but wonder - was it really that good?
Being an exorcist made you only focus on your job, not really having time to think about stuff like these. But now that you were here and had nothing else to do, you couldn't help your mind from wandering off at times.
You knew what Angel Dust did for a living and you also knew how much he actually hated it, so you tried not to ask about stuff like these too much around him, trying to take his mind off the horrible things he had to endure. But as you lay next to him, watching him scroll numerous messages from Valentino, you couldn't help it.
"Angel...?" you whispered, a dark blush on your face while you fiddled with your fingers.
"Yeah, hun? What is it?" Angel Dust said in a casual and lazy tone as he continued to scroll through his phone, reading the messages from his boss, rolling his eyes as usual as he read through them one by one.
"How... does it feel?"
Angel Dust raised an eyebrow and shifted his focus from his phone to you. "How does what feel, exactly?"
"You know..." you said, your face getting redder as seconds went by. "Fornication?"
Angel Dust chuckled and put his phone down, gently resting his arm behind his head, a look of subtle surprise spreading across his face as he looked at you. "You want me to describe sex to you, darling?"
"Yes... Is it really that good?" you calmed down a bit when he seemed comfortable with your question. After all, it wasn't really something he was ashamed to share.
"Oh, baby doll..." Angel Dust said with a smile and a laugh, clearly amused by your question. "Yeah, it's pretty damn good. Of course, it's a lot better if you actually love the person you're doing it with, but even just casual hookups feel pretty good, too."
"But... why do you hate to do it sometimes then?"
Angel Dust's expression became a bit more serious, and he sighed as he looked away from you for a moment before speaking again. "There's a big difference between doing it by choice with someone you like, and doing it because you 'have to' in order to pay the bills. Valentino makes me do it way too much and with... less desirable people."
You nuzzled against his neck, as his arms wrapped around you, the warmth of your body against his always managing to make him feel a little fuzzy. "Do you think anyone would want to do it with me?"
Angel laughed and gently ruffled your hair as he held you close, his hand wandering across your body, tracing the curves of your figure. "Oh, sweetheart, you're adorable if you think you'd have a hard time finding someone to do it with you. Any guy would be damn lucky to have you in his bed. Or gal. Either works."
You chuckled, but a hint of sadness could still be noticeable in your eyes. "I don't know... I feel like people would be... repulsed by the way my body looks..."
Angel rolled his eyes, an amused expression on his face. "And what do you mean by that, darling? Your body looks gorgeous as all hell."
"But these scars..." you said, slightly lifting up your sleeve to reveal a part of those dark memories.
His expression softened, and he gently touched the scars, tracing them with his fingers. "Darling, these scars just make you look more badass. Anyone who judges you by them isn't worth spending time on. Believe me, sweetheart, you look absolutely gorgeous."
You smiled softly at his compliments. He always lifted you up when you felt bad about your appearance. "And like... does it hurt when you do it... the first time, I mean?"
"That depends on a couple of things, darling..." He said in a slightly more playful tone, gently tracing his fingers across your skin. "If the person you're with is careful and takes their time, probably not. If they're too rough and hasty, it could hurt like hell."
"They're supposed to be someone... you trust then, right?"
Angel Dust nodded and gently moved his hand to caress your cheek. "Yeah, it's supposed to be someone you trust. Someone who cares about you, who'll be gentle and take good care of you, y'know?"
"Angel... Would you want to..." you began, your face burning as words came out of your mouth. "... you know..."
Angel Dust's expression changed to surprise as he looked at you. He wasn't expecting you to ask such a thing, not from you. He gave you a sly smile as he began to gently move his hand down your body. "Are you serious, darling?"
Your eyes widened as you moved away from him. "I... I'm sorry... I didn't want to make it weird..."
Hi's expression softened and he gently pulled you back towards him, wrapping his arms around you. "No, no, you didn't make it weird, darling. I'm just... I'm surprised, that's all." He let out a little laugh and looked at you with a smile. "Are you sure you want this, hun?"
"Well... you said it has to be with someone I trust... And I trust you, Angel." you caressed his hand, gently tracing your fingers against his. He let out a long sigh and looked at you, his eyes travelling down your figure. He was torn; on one hand, a part of him always wanted to do it with you. You made him feel safe and he couldn't help but want to make you feel good, but he never told you anything for fear of making you feel pressured. On the other hand, he was afraid he might destroy this sweet little thing that you two had. It was so innocent and nice and only the thought of him messing things up and you not wanting to talk to him anymore was too big of a risk for him.
He gently pressed his forehead against yours, looking you in the eyes as he spoke. "We can do it, darling. On one condition." You watched him with big eyes, curious of what he was about to say. "If at any point you want to stop, you tell me, ok?"
You smiled, placing a small kiss on his lips. "You too, Angel."
He chuckled and returned the kiss, gently caressing your skin with his fingers. He slowly moved against you and pinned you down on the bed, hovering over you with a small smirk on his face.
"I'll be fine, beautiful..." he said in a playful tone, his hand gently tracing down your body down to your hips. "Now, there's something else I need to ask you, darling. How much experience do you have, exactly? Like... I get that you never had sex, but you must've done things, right?"
"No... not really."
Angel Dust's eyebrows rose, but he didn't lose the smile on his face. "So you've never found any freaky angel up there, huh? Not even had fun by yourself?" You shook your head, feeling a bit embarrassed by your lack of experience.
He chuckled and gently brushed a few hairs out of your face. "Darling, you're way too innocent for your own good, you know that?" he leaned down, placing soft kisses on your neck that sent tingles down your spine. "You know... I'd lie if I said I didn't... fantasize about this moment from time to time..."
"R-Really?" you asked, as his lips softly caressed the skin.
"Mhm..." Angel Dust hummed as he started gently nipping your neck, leaving a trail of kisses along your collarbone. "The thought of seeing someone so pure like you do such things... Kinky."
His fingers intertwined with yours, gently squeezing your hands as his other two caressed your body. His hand slipped underneath your shirt, the warm touch making you tremble in excitement. His fingers quickly found your nipple.
"No bra today, sweetheart?" It pleased him how much you trusted him and allowed him to touch your body like this, and the feeling of your chest, completely naked under your shirt, gave him a certain... satisfaction.
"Ah~ fu- Angel!" you gasped when he grabbed your hardened nipple, gently playing with it.
Angel Dust let out a little laugh, watching your every reaction as he touched you. The way you gasped and squirmed, your body hot against his, it all made his chest fill with excitement. "You're so sensitive, darling... I can't wait to see how you'll react to everything that's coming~"
He pulled away from your body, gently raising your shirt as his eyes looked for any sign that you wanted to stop. You looked away as he revealed your boobs. You two were close, yes, but you always hid your body, so the fact that he's seeing it for the first time made you a bit self-aware.
"Don't look away, darling... You're beautiful," he said, his eyes admiring your body. "I want to see every part of you." He leaned down, his lips crashing into yours, as his hold on you grew tighter, his tongue gently sliding into your mouth.
He took your hands, placing them around his body, your fingers brushing against his soft fur, tugging it slightly. A soft moan slipped from Angel's mouth against yours as he felt your touch, sending waves of pleasure through him. He pulled you closer to him, his body pressing against yours, and you felt him getting excited against your skin.
He pulled away from your mouth and went lower, placing kisses along the path. He gently licked one of your nipples, a soft gasp escaping you. He was enjoying every reaction you gave, the way you squirmed and trembled, it made him want to keep going, to keep teasing you and make you want more. He harshly started to suck on your nipple, as his other hand played with the other. You arched your back into his touch, feeling yourself getting hotter with every moment.
"Angel... Please... I want more!" you pleaded as you felt yourself getting wetter with every moment. You were desperate to feel some pressure. You needed this.
"Patience, darling... You'll get what you want, just wait a little longer~" he said in a teasing tone, enjoying how you were at his mercy. You let out a desperate scoff and you moved your leg slightly, touching his clothed hard cock. He let out a soft gasp, his eyes snapping back to you, his expression a mix of surprise and excitement. "Mmm... now that's a good girl. Getting impatient, are we?" he smirked, his expression growing more sly as he spoke. "Alrighty then. I guess we can skip a few steps," he said and traced the waistband of your pants. "You alright, babe?"
"Yes, Angel. Please! I want this!"
Angel Dust smiled, his heart fluttering slightly as you begged him for it, your voice pleading and desperate. "Okay then, darling..." he said, gently starting to undo the buttons of your pants. "I'll give you what you want, don't worry." He slowly caressed your legs, looking at you with a mischievous smirk on his face. "You ready, sweetheart?" he said, his eyes full of excitement. You nodded, your heart beating like crazy. "Alright. You tell me if you want me to stop." Gently, he took down your panties, his eyes fixed on your pussy, your juices shining in the dim light of the room.
He placed your legs on his shoulders, lowering himself, his breath hot against your skin. You gasped when his mouth attached to your heat, his tongue making a mess of you. Your back was arched, as your hands tightly grabbed at his hair, his arms strongly keeping you in place.
"Oh, shit! Angel- Fuck, yes!"
Angel Dust smirked against you as he heard you swear, your curses making his heart pound as he continued to use his tongue. "Mmm, honey... you taste so good, no wonder I have a sweet tooth~"
His tongue moved in circles on your clit, as you lost yourself in pleasure. The sensation was electrifying in your body, sending waves of pleasure that left you shaken. You felt his finger slowly entering you.
"Ah, fuck…" you breathed, your body gradually adjusting to being spread, even though it wasn't much.
"Does it hurt?" Angel asked, his movements measured and careful.
"No. Don’t stop, please…" you whispered, and he began to move just a bit faster, his tongue and finger working together in perfect rhythm. The sensation was intense, and as you felt another finger trying to enter, there was a slight discomfort. But with how wet and needy you were, it only made you more eager.
"Jeez, are you already close?" he murmured, noticing how your body reacted, tightening around his fingers as they slid in and out, your juices making everything slick.
You couldn't find the words to answer, too focused on the way his fingers moved inside you, each drag against your sensitive walls sending shivers through you. He kept going, the knot in your stomach winding tighter with every passing second. Just as you were about to unravel, he pulled back, sensing how close you were.
"Woah! Slow down, honey," he said with a soft chuckle, pulling away and leaving you with a whimper of frustration.
"Why'd you stop?" you asked, feeling your orgasm fading slowly as you tried to regulate your breathing. He came closer, placing a kiss on your forehead.
"Listen, toots. If you want me to keep going, I need you to be just as horny as you are right now. Finishing now can make you a bit... sensitive and it might hurt more." he explained, running a hand through your hair. "But if you're not ready for this, we can finish this up and then grab a snack and watch something." You let out a sigh, looking at him and you could tell he was concerned, not wanting to push you too far too quickly. "It's your call, baby! Just tell me."
You cupped his face, kissing him softly. "I want you, Angel... So, do as you know it's best." Angel Dust smiled against your lips, feeling your body still shiver slightly in his grip. He let out a soft chuckle and looked down at you.
"Alright, darling... just relax. I'll take good care of you, I promise. Just let me know if it gets too much, alright?" You nodded and he kissed your forehead again, getting up to undress.
You watched as the clothes gracefully fell off his body. You always admired the way he looked as he never missed a chance to show you as much as he could. But this time it felt different. It felt intimate. It felt right.
He noticed the way your eyes locked on the tent in his boxers, a bit taken aback by how big it was. He approached you, gently cupping your face. "Hey, I know it might seem scary to... see a dick for the first time." he chuckled. "You don't have to continue if you don't feel like it."
"I do! It's just... I'm a bit nervous, that's all." you smiled, caressing back his hands.
"It's okay to be nervous, darling. You have nothing to worry about, alright? I'll be gentle... Just trust me." He kissed your lips as you both leaned back on the bed, his arms gently propping himself up above you. His hands caressed your body, running down your sides, feeling the softness of your skin as you lay beneath him.
He lowered his hand down to your core, his fingers coating themselves in your wetness. You moaned in his mouth as his long finger entered you once again, the motion a bit faster than earlier. His lips brushed against yours, his thumb drawing circles on your clit as you felt yourself getting close again.
Feeling you getting tighter, he pulled back, taking off his boxers. Before you could realise what was happening, he crashed his lips against yours again, as you felt something brush against your entrance.
"You ok, honey?" he asked, drenching the tip of his penis in your juices.
"Yes. I want it, Angel! Trust me!" you said, feeling a bit nervous, but not regretting any moment of it.
"I do, baby," he said and pressed his tip inside of you, slowly. With slow movements, he gradually entered, pulling out from time to time and entering a bit more after. You hissed at the stinging sensation but felt a bit more calm when you realised it was not as bad as you thought it would be. You kept a hand on his chest, slowly pressing when the stinging sensation became too much, and he would immediately pull back.
With one hand he started rubbing your clit, his movements less painful as the pleasure made you relax more. He kissed you as soft whimpers filled the room. "It's almost in, baby. You're taking me so well." His praise sent a tingle in your stomach, as his dick came in and out of you.
The sensation of fullness combined with the way his fingers teased your clit was surprisingly arousing. Your body responded eagerly, your juices flowing freely around him, as he bottomed out inside you
You looked at each other, desire visible in your eyes. There was something so special about this, so erotic, but pure at the same time. Angel's heart was beating loudly, as his hands roamed through your hair. It felt like he didn't only stop to give you time to adjust, but as if he wanted to spend some more time like this, in this moment.
His thrusts were slow and deliberate, allowing you to feel every inch of him. You moaned in unison with each movement, his pace on your clit quickening.
Without realizing it, his thrusts deepened, sending waves of pleasure through your body. He froze, concern flashing in his eyes, but you wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him to continue.
"Angel, please, don't stop!" you said as his pace fastened, the knot in your stomach getting tighter with every move.
"Shit, toots... You're a freaky one, ya knew that?" he said in between grunts, his breath tickling the skin of your neck. The feeling of his cock brushing against that sweet spot over and over again shot a strong, electrifying wave of pleasure through you, a moan escaping his mouth as you got painfully tight around him, your body trembling at the sudden feeling.
With a few deep thrusts, he finished inside of you with a guttural growl, his body collapsing on top of yours as he breathed deeply. He looked down at you, a lazy smile on his face. "You okay, darling? I didn't hurt you, right?" he asked softly, his breathing slowly steadying.
You hugged him tightly. "I love you, Anthony..." you whispered, hiding your face in his fur. Angel Dust's heart practically melted at your words, the way you said his real name always made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer against him, his face nuzzling in your hair.
"I love you too, sweetheart. So, so damn much," he replied, his voice a soft whisper against your ear.
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"So... can we do it again?" you asked, as you rested your head on Angel's chest, his breathing still heavy.
"Toots... it's been the fifth round already... Aren't you tired?" he said, a soft, exhausted smile on his face.
"Nope," you said, making a pop sound at the end. "Cherri told me about a sex position and I want to try it."
Angel Dust let out a laugh and let his head drop onto the pillow, his eyes locked with yours. "Oh my god, you are unbelievable. How much stamina do you have, darling?" he said, slightly shaking his head.
"I'm an angel so... a lot."
Angel Dust chuckled at your reply and rolled his eyes playfully. "Of course... of course you are." He let out a sigh and looked at you for a moment, trying to think. "Alright, tell me about this position."
Your smile grew wider as you started to explain this new idea, but he wasn't fully listening. He got lost as his eyes adoringly looked at you. Yes, you became a little sex gremlin since your body got used to it, but it was the kind of sex he always craved - it was loving, safe, and warm. It made him feel special, wanted for more than his body.
Someone like him, who had nothing to live for anymore, finally found a reason. A reason to fight through the miserable life that he was cursed to have for eternity. And he wasn't willing to lose it.
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Tags: @ratsematary @littlebluefishtail
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dollcherray · 3 months
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۶♡ৎ OBLIVION ˚﹕⋆⊹
۶ৎ Lambert/The lamb x ambivert cat reader with social anxiety ۶ৎ
♡ Notes : Cult mentions, death mentions, Lambert is head over heels for u, i really love this floofy friend shaped lamb, just a writing to feed y'all something until my summer break starts 😸🫶🏼 ill post some cotl in my other blog tomorrow (probably), i use they/them pronouns for the lamb, i did the social anxiety part based more on myself so im sorry if something's inaccurate.
ᶻz Type: Headcanons, romantic, fluff
✮⋆˙ Music: Dove (doll version)
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۶ৎ I headcanon Lambert to be aroace, so, whenever they get a crush on someone, i think it would be a down hard crush, making them fall head over heels for the person.
۶ৎ They noticed your lack of talking since the first time they bumped into you, they expected for you to somewhat dramatically apologize to them like the other followers.
۶ৎ But you just stood there, silently, as you just made a little gesture with your head as if minimally apologizing to them before continuing your way, they couldn't help but feel a spark of curiosity light inside of them.
۶ৎ Lambert probably fell for you because of how you act, you were always quiet and somehow collected, of course your habit of trying to distance yourself from social interaction mildly worried them at first, but you looked okay with being alone so they didn't really bother you much.
۶ৎ you talked only when necessary, you never got into any fights, always did what you were told and were always the first to go to your tents when it was time to, sometimes even before that, they found your way to act very odd but somehow mature? they knew cats do have a strange nature but not a very silent one, more of a grumpy one (Ahem, Narinder) so you were one strange cat.
۶ৎ Lambert started to slowly attempt to form a relationship with you, it wasn't anything lousy or something like that, just quiet hangouts like drinking diverse drinks together, quiet walks around the cult's territory, Lambert babbling somethings about the cult not expecting you to answer, and things like that, they knew you weren't one to talk much so he started off slow to not scare you.
۶ৎ Lambert would be surprised if you start to open up one day to them, even if its just bit by bit, they will be over cloud 9, Lambert could appear calm in the outside but in the inside they were exploding in happiness that you started to trust them enough to try and be more outgoing with them.
۶ৎ After you started warming up to them, your hangouts would get more interactive and agitated, like dancing together in one of the cults celebrations and events, some late night gossip and stuff like that, Lambert would be more than happy to interact with you and hear more of your soothing voice.
۶ৎ Now when you started dating, Lambert had to stay more with you, because people would start be all over you since you are now partners with the cult leader, since you have social anxiety they know how overwhelmed you can get in crowded places, especially in a crowded place where all the attention is on you, so Lambert will make sure to be by your side in moments like these.
۶ৎ Lambert makes sure you are always comfortable whenever you are in a situation that requires social interaction and with large crowds, such as events, rituals and etc.
۶ৎ If you ever get too overwhelmed in a situation like this, Lambert will excuse you and them, immediately running off to find you an empty or at least a significantly less crowded place.
۶ৎ Would hold you in their arms until you feel better, reassuring you and comforting you the best they can, which might not be the best but hey, it's pretty decent.
۶ৎ They will 100% pet you, sorry not sorry.
۶ৎ Lambert likes petting between your ears and play with your tail sometimes, its like a fucking stim toy for him.
۶ৎ Lambert honestly thinks its cute how you can be very shy whenever theres a stranger near you and then suddenly switch to a very charismatic and happy person whenever your alone with them.
۶ৎ But it also worries Lambert, that can heavily prejudice you and your social life and they really don't want that for you, they just want what's best for you.
۶ৎ They would probably try to make you socialize more, of course, always talking to you about it before doing that, they would try to make you interact to others with them by your side and slowly starting to let you interact with others by yourself.
۶ৎ Would be so proud of you if you ever mention to them you got to make a new friend without feeling anxious and awkward.
۶ৎ They really love you<3
“I would praise you forever if i could. ♡”
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acalamity · 4 months
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author's note
first time using tumblr, this account has been untouched for a while. I'm sorry for any mistakes (typos or anything else) and hello!! :D
this idea was supposed to be for a fic (vibrant ribbons weave astral reverie) but I scrapped it since it was too much, so this is a snippet. here's part two
lookism! jake kim x reader as seperated childhood friends. reader is an aspiring tailor.
more under the wubbaboo!!
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Jake Kim wondered what else changed in the time you were apart. He used to be your partner, your ride and die. Now, after so many years of seperation, you are different.
Of course you are, you've matured and gone through puberty. You've graduated high school while he dropped out, and chased your ambitions while he was rooted in Big Deal. The two of you lived very different lives, and somehow— no matter how close he is to you physically, the gaping distance is always there. In his heart, he is always a step away from you.
"Jake."
Maybe you'll have to part ways again one day. Criminal life is very dangerous, and he would rather not have you involved in any fights.
"Jake?"
Or maybe you'll grow too big for his little and humble street. He's sure you'll reach great heights and he looks forward to the day you'll stand on a grand stage. A stage grander than he can imagine.
"Jake!"
"Ow!"
He winced, face crinkling as his hand unwittingly travelled up to his face. From beside him, he could see you staring at him with your arms crossed over your chest, very much unamused. Instantly, the leader pieced together that you had probably pinched his cheek to snap him out of his stupor, "What was that for?"
"I've been calling your name for a while." You sighed, "What we're you thinking about?"
"Oh, you know. . ." Jake trailed off, he's not sure how to tell you about the thoughts rampant in his mind, so he settled for a question instead, "[Name], since when did you pick up archery?"
Oh, you realised, bringing up your bandaged fingers and palms, glancing over your hands swiftly, he was concerned.
The words that fall out of your lips are slow— and Jake realised you were unravelling an old, old, hidden wound, ". . . Out of my own frustration, I ran away from my mentors once."
"I was alone and young so a few people came up to me. Although I managed to escape in the end, I promised hat I would never let something like that happen to myself again." You huffed through your nose, "I had to start somewhere and my mentor just so happen to have a bow."
". . . I'm sorry." If he was there, a part of your life instead of living in bloodshed and chasing dirty money that did nothing to save his own predecessor, he would have ran away with you. Yet he was not there, and he can't take the wounds on your hands or your invisible battles away, "Sorry."
"Hm? What are you apologizing for now? Did you accidentally ruin my mannequins again?" Even you didn't know how he did it that one time, but he did.
His reply was instant, eyes wide and dumbfounded, "No!"
"You broke my belongings when we were children too. Then you'd come to me apologizing with that wide-eyed, kicked puppy look on your face." You stared at this face, holding back a laugh with a sigh, "Exactly like that face you're making now. Some things never change."
Jake blinked, once, twice— and just like that he was smiling along with you, "Do you still like the cookies I gave you?"
Gave you after everytime he kicked you in his sleep, kept you up with his snores and unintentionally roughhoused your items, he meant. Of course, like a good elder (of one year) and role model, he'd give Jerry some too.
"Those peanut cookies you received from Uncle Jinyoung and gave Jerry and I as an apology?" There was a nervous chuckle, "Yes, why bring it up?"
"I wanted to know." The beaming gleam in his eyes gave his simple answer away, "That's all."
And two days later, Jerry handed you a bunch of deformed peanut cookies, "Boss Jake wanted to give this to you personally, but he's stuck in his office."
"Well, drag him out." You took the package, and walked pass the second-hand. From what you could tell the cookies were homemade, with plenty of effort and struggle and not much success— though it probably wouldn't taste good, it makes your heart feel warm even in the chilly wind. With a huff, you turned to your friend, "Jerry, let's bother him for old times' sake."
"Please go ahead, Boss Jake is in his office now." And though Jerry is very much against bothering his boss, he can't find it in him to stop you, especially when he knows you'll never actually be a bother his boss. True to his thoughts, Jake's face lit up when he sees you.
"There you go again. Were you waiting for me to come?" So perhaps Jake was hoping you would barge into his office, like you barged into his life many years ago. You sat down next to Jake, placing the pouch of cookies down, "I received the goods—"
"You make it sound like I'm dealing drugs."
"— thank you."
A light remark, perhaps a bit teasing, "Can I have some?"
A pointed look without heat, "After you finish your paperwork."
"[Name]." He called out to you after moments of silence, "Hm? What is it?"
His expression was warm, tainted by overflowing affection, and whisper gentle, like a muted memory of a lullaby, "Thanks for coming."
The person in front of you is no longer the not-so-little bratty menace with chubby cheeks, he has grown beyond your expectations. In the future, the both of you surely continue to change, for good or bad, no one knows. But you (the no-nonsense peanut cookie muncher) are still the same person crafted by your childhood together, and he will surely have many more moments together with you. And those too, will be just as precious as the old stories that shine in his memories.
In the little office, so that he may witness the rest of your life, Jake weaved your name into his heart.
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