#if i had three years experience i'd feel a lot more confident in my ability to be a competitive candidate for the job

[togekissies]

my supervisor is apparently going to retire this year (we'll see if she actually does, she's been saying this for at least five years) and man i know i would be good at that job but god am i sad that i have no management experience to make up for the fact that i've only been here a year lmao. if she DOES announce her retirement i'll ask her if she thinks i should throw my hat in the ring but i'm not counting on it

[bookwyrm35]

I've seen a bunch of theories circling about what makes a person's Talents stronger so here's a compilation/my two cents on the subject.

1. The closer you've been with death, the better you can sense it. The first example that comes to mind in A. J. Lockwood himself. Orphaned at age six, his sister murdered three years later, and his uncle passing after a stroke somewhere along the way, Lockwood's life has been filled with death and maybe that's why he's able to see it so clearly. Lucy Carlyle, the greatest Listener since Marisa Fittes, has also had her fair share of nearness to violent ends. Her entire team from Jacob's was killed by that ghost and even if she doesn't dwell on it in the books, she carries their deaths with her forever.

A counter point to this theory is the fact that it implies your Talent gets stronger as you have more experiences with death, which isn't something we really see as the books go on. Lucy mentions after she (spoilers!) leaves that she feels she's getting stronger and more confident in her Listening abilities, but she hasn't had any brushes with death in that time.

If it's true though it does make me wonder what kind of life Marrisa had before the Problem that made her gifted enough to hear Ezekiel...

2. When you meet your soul mate, your Talent gets stronger. I remeber this being illustrated with Locklyle by saying that Lockwood seems surprised at the brightness of Mr. Hope's death glow in 62 Sheen Road. Despite knowing the abruptness of his end, Lockwood didn't think the death glow would be bright enough to warrant bringing his sun glasses. Lucy likewise seems to be surprised by the clarity of what she hears and the impressions that come when she connects to Annabel Ward's ghost, making me think that this is a new development.

It's a bit of a romantic spin on a gift that's only good for dealing with the dead, but in this fandom something like that is inevitable.

The counter point again stems from Lucy's resigning from Lockwood and Co. but this time it's a bit more complicated. Yes, she is physically far from Lockwood during this time, but it's only because she cares for him that she left. This is an entirely different tangent that I might get into later, but I truly believe her leaving was an ultimate symbol of love in her (subconscious) mind.

3. Talent in simply tied to your physical senses. I personally like this theory the best because I see a lot of evidence for it. Lockwood had good Sight because he's got good sight. If you read carefully you'll notice he's usually the one who tunes in to visual things first. He'll see someone coming to answer the door, detect movement from far away before the others do, and spot clues that have led them to sources many times. There's not as much on this for Lucy but I think that might just be due to the fact that she's the one narrating. The others don't hear what she does but she doesn't realize it. George, as we know from the scene when they're trying to get information from Carver before he dies, has very bad hearing. (that or he just has a hard time focusing on soft sounds when he's stressed. Which is valid, but really George? Bogeys?) While we're talking about George though, it's a good time to bring up that they never mention his Talent in Sight because, if this theory is correct, he's as blind to ghosts as he is to everything else with his glasses off. It's also worth noting I think that ghosts are best seen in the corner of your eye, an obvious blind spot to any glasses wearer.

It also explains (in my mind at least) why Touch isn't as talked about as the other senses. It's hard to gauge how physically sensitive you are, so I'd wager it'd be the same for the psychical side.

4. Strength in Talent is genetic. This one has the least going for it in my opinion. We know that some of Lucy's sisters and her mother had Talent when they were young, but it was barely enough to qualify them for Night Watch. We don't know much about the abilities of Lockwood or George's family, but I feel like we would have gotten some snippet of information if they were.

5. It's random, there's no rhyme or reason, and I spent way too much time thinking about this 🙂.

Thoughts anyone?

[dark--whisperings]

Fic Tag Game

Tagged by the lovely @mischievouschan4 & @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart! 💖✨

How many works do you have on ao3?

Thirteen!!

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

101,352. And almost all of that has been in 2023!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, only Star Wars! In the past, I've written for Transformers as well, but I wasn't as dedicated to writing for that fandom as I am Star Wars. I actually started out in fandom as a beta reader and an artist; writing is pretty new to me!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

the way you say my name - 332 kudos

Those Eyes Like Fire - 205 kudos

Falling Deep Into You - 167 kudos

out of our hands - 143 kudos

Suffocate Me (I'm Still Breathing) - 131 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always! I adore all of my readers and love a good joint flail in a comment thread!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Falling Deep Into You. Let me tell you... the boys have it BAD in this one, but we do love their inability to communicate. This is the first part of a three part series. The second part (Falling For Your Body and Soul) also has an angsty ending, but things are slowly starting to resolve in this installment. There will be a third (and final part), but I haven't started working on it yet!

7. What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?

That would be out of our hands. This one starts out angsty as fuck, but resolves into the most tooth rotting, disgustingly soft fluff I've ever written. Close second would be Those Eyes Like Fire, which is mostly snark with a side of fluff.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far! Though I have had hateful comments on my art in the past, and it's never fun to deal with. Fuck the haters!

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

Do I write smut... *checks AO3*. Yep, everything I write is smut. 🤣🤣🤣 I do lean towards more kink-focused/taboo smut. You know what they say... write the things that you would want to read as a reader!

10. Do you write cross-overs?

Not so far, and not sure I could do it justice!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, but if anyone would like to... feel free to drop me a dm! 👀

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have! Unfortunately, it's no longer posted, but it was a lovely experience that I would do again in a heartbeat. ALSO planning to cowrite one with @mischievouschan4 in the new year. 💖

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

I have a few! Obikin, Kylux, Kalluzeb, and Snarry!

15. What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I actually don't have one of these! I only have two WIPs at the moment... one of which I'm about to post the final chapter to (Suffocate Me (I'm Still Breathing)). The other is a long fic that I've been picking away at for a while, but fully intend to finish.

16. What are your writing strength?

I like to think that I'm really good at conveying emotion and building tension with words. I've also been told by others that I'm excellent at figurative language.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm long-winded. Pretty sure I could get the point I'm trying to make across in a lot fewer words than I end up doing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I actually LOVE reading fics with dialogue in another language! I'd love to do one myself, but I'm only somewhat passable in French, and I wouldn't want to post something in another language unless I was confident in my own ability.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Transformers... which also happens to be the first fandom that I was heavily involved in! 🤖

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

the way you bend, the way you break and Suffocate Me (I'm Still Breathing), hands down. Both of these drew on some very real personal vulnerabilities, and I feel like they more than adequately represent the piece of my life that they were intended to. I'm very proud to have put them out in the world.

---

No pressure tags: @tideswept, @innepttia, @anakinschmanakin, @ineffable-snowman, @tennessoui, @fishnamedsushi

[lgctaeha]

 「 ❀ 」  ━━ ˗ˏˋWORKSHOP OPPORTUNITY 002 ! ( 1-on-1 ; © )

"Hi, hi, hi!" Taeha enters the small conference room with a bit of a bounce in her step. It had been quite a while since she'd last had a sit down with Kwon Soyi, and she all but greets the woman with a giddy hug before nodding her head and flopping into a seat across from her. "Where should we start?!"

The conversation flows smoothly with Taeha hopping from topic to topic as she's known to do. Finally, after a few rambles about Osaka and plucking chicken feathers out of her hair, the acting coach is able to ask - what do you think are your strengths right now?

"My strengths?" Taeha parrots, chin pinched between her thumb and forefinger. "I think that this year I've really been able to improve on stage! I was watching a few clips from my first big performance as a trainee compared to an LGC Girls' stage, and I think that I've really grown overall as a performer," she nods affirmatively, folding her hands in her lap. "I came here a pretty confident dancer but with everything else I just... Sort of... I was very unsure of myself? And I think that showed whenever I performed. My face just always looked like I knew I was about to make a mistake... But now I think that I have a lot more fun? I feel a lot more... like the stage is home? So, performance definitely! I also feel a lot more confident about my rapping ability! Before LGC Girls Japan, I hadn't really thought I could ever see myself as a rapper... But now, I think that I really hold my own. Even my older brother who used to rap was impressed by how far I've come - and, I beat him in a rap battle over Chuseok!" She gives the coach a playful grin, flipping a lock of her over her shoulder. "And of course, Japanese! I'm really proud of how far I've come in such a short time as well. Being on tour and getting to interact with all the fans in Japan really helped sharpen my language skills, and of course there's always more to learn, but for now I think I've made a lot of good progress and can chat pretty okay!"

What are three skills that you would like to work on in the next few months?

"Oh! If I got to choose? I would really, really, really love to spend more time on dancing. It's always been one of my strengths, and although I've been doing a lot of choreography while being part of LGC Girls, I would really like to devote serious time to trying out new styles of dance, and maybe... possibly choreographing more of my own? Then, of course, singing. Over the past few months I've felt very good about my vocals, but I know that I'm not as strong of a vocalist as some of the other trainees. I've been planning to meet more with the vocal coaches for one-on-one sessions, and maybe even trying to sing some ballad-type songs? I'd like to become very versatile in that way! And then... maybe some acting? I haven't done too many acting workshops outside of those we were assigned for the Project Origin musical... but I do think a lot of the skills that I learned in those have helped me become a much better performer now, so... maybe more of those?"

If given a chance, what types of gigs would you be interested in participating?

"Oh, oh, oh! Drama acting and variety, for sure!" she beams, clasping her hands underneath her chin. "I loved being on Charms Japan and Invisible Youth, and I would love, love, love to try out more variety. I think that I've done pretty well so far so I'd like to do different kinds of shows too! Maybe... The kind of variety shows that have a lot of puzzles to solve or, or, or more traveling type shows? Like Charms but in other locations around Korea? Or even internationally, like... Hawaii!" she grins, well knowing that a show like that would be nothing more than a ploy to take a quick vacation trip home. "And for acting... I think I would really like to star in a drama one day! I've been watching them since I was a kid and although I don't have much acting experience, I do think it would be super fun to try!"

During your time here in legacy, what are some of the lessons that you’ve learned about yourself?

"Lessons?" The question gives Taeha pause, gaze wandering up to the ceiling. "I think... I think - I think that I've learned its okay to go at your own pace... To be where you are, when you are, in this moment!" She points to her lap, knees bouncing up and down once for emphasis. "Sometimes, I can get really trapped in a... bubble of worries? But lately, I have found that I really enjoy... the journey of all of this? No matter where the road is taking me, and all the ups and downs and bumps and blips on the way - I really am happy where I am, with everything that I'm learning and... I'm always hoping to learn and grow, but I still feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Here and now." She tilts her head to one side with pursed lips. She wonders if she should add the most important lesson she's learned thus far - 'never try to ship coaches.' ...Nah.

[salty-pixel]

Its coming up on a year since I started using this blog, so its time for a little reflection I think. Long rambling thoughts after the cut.

When I started posting here I had three goals: To motivate myself to improve, to motivate myself to share more of my stuff, and to havge a sort of archive of my models. The results have been mixed.

I do think I've improved, maybe not a lot but enough that I can see it. My texture work in particular I feel way more confident in, both in creating the textures themselves and applying them. Unwrapping models for textures has gotten easier too, so that's good. Besides that tho I can't really tell if I'm getting any better.

I'd say my weakest point is still animation. Frankly I think my animations suck. Most if not all of my attempts look mechanical or awkward, which can work for the aesthetic of old video games, but I want to be able to animate well. I have so many projects in mind that are being held back by my animation ability and my improvement has been sloooooow.

Now the second and third goals have been less successful. I spend most of my free time making these 3D models, and have for a few years now, but I never used to share them, not even with friends. No goals, just the joy of creation. At some point I started thinking about that, and how if no one ever sees them they aren't really real. I decided that if I started sharing them it might push me to share more. That has not been the case. In the past year I have made at least double, maybe triple, the amount of stuff that I have posted. Some of them I don't feel are good enough, which is understandable, but for a lot of it I either feel like no one would be interested, and I don't want to waste their time, or I have no reason not to share. I don't know why I do it, but I'll finish a project and then just, do nothing with it. I'm not sure how I can start getting past it, but I do want to try.

I also find myself thinking of things in sets, and I hate the idea of not finishing a set. When I made Raz, my brain said I had to make all the campers. When I made a Motobug, my brain said I had to make ALL the classic Badniks (I did get past that by lowering it to just the ones from Sonic 1). It gets frustrating because I have several models done that I don't want to post because the either the set isn't done, or I'm not motivated to continue the set, and my brain HATES the idea of not having the finished set posted. As for the actual experience of posting, its been fun overall, but I find myself sort of struggling with how to post. If you look back you'll see that sometimes I'll just post a model, and sometimes I'll talk about my thoughts on it. I have no clue what anyone wants to see, so I've been sort of flip-flopping on that. If anyone has actually read this far, feel free to let me know: what would you like to see? Should I include more info about my models? Do you want to see the poly counts? Wireframes? Textures? Or should I stick to just the models and let them speak for themselves.

Just wanted to write this to get my thoughts in order, and hope if you stick around that you enjoy what you see.

[sunset-a-story]

Good day! I had a couple of questions for you, no need to feel pressured to answer if they don't apply ^~^. I've recently run into an issue while writing and I'm looking for advice.

Do you have beta readers? If so, how do you handle the ones that try to take over your writing? I.E. They try to bully you into writing in a different voice, they assume to know more than you about the story and try to tell you how characters act, or tell you that you're writing your own plot wrong- including any foreshadowing bits or lack thereof (for plot reasons, of course). And finally, how do you handle the ones that act like their your friend only to steal major elements of your story because "I can do it better than you"? (Or conversely accused you of stealing from them just because something you did was apparently really close to something they did?)

Thank you for your time!

Uh, first off--what the cinnamon toast fuck. That sucks and I'm very sorry that any of that is shit you have come up against. Gottdamn. I am far from an expert here but as far as pushy beta readers: I went to a very small college for my creative writing degree and the brutal critiques taught me something they probably didn't intend: the ability to recognize that sometimes everyone else is wrong and it's okay to throw their opinions in the trash.

I got used to getting shredded in workshops, sometimes justifiably so and sometimes not. Sure, it's vital to be open to critique but not all feedback is equally valuable. Ex. I once sat there listening to the whole class and professor harping for half an hour on not understanding who these characters were to each other in a story of mine while I, not allowed to speak, sat with my pen--circling all the instances of the word "sister" that they'd somehow all failed to read.

So I got a lot of experience getting 12 different, very confident opinions of what was wrong with my story & how to fix it and being able to look at that and recognize, "Nope, you're all wrong."

To have a meeting with a professor to receive suggestions/feedback on a senior project and say, "I'm not doing that. You've missed the point," and have that be an acceptable answer--and get an A.

That's not every time. It's not like I was always right. Far from it and I got lots of constructive crit that improved my writing which I am beyond grateful for. But for the kind of feedback you're talking about? You know your characters and story better than anyone. And yeah, you're not writing the story the way they would write it, but you're the one telling the fucking story. You are under no obligation to put their notes into action. Not doing what they suggest is not an attack on them. If they're mad about that, they've misunderstood their role.

So I'd probably handle that by reiterating the type of feedback you want. I've specified certain things to my readers like "Can you follow the plot/world-building?" "What/who is keeping you interested?" "What/who is losing your attention?" That kind of stuff. Or stop giving them any more fiction.

I currently have three beta readers for Sunset and all three are close, trusted friends. Despite working on this story for around a decade, prior to a year or so ago, we hadn't shared it with anyone (except our best friend who sadly died in 2020) because of anxiety around exactly what you're talking about. Even when I know everything above to be true, it's still stressful.

I can say I've had readers either coming in with their own expectations or narrative getting a character completely wrong and kind of hanging onto that point of view and forcing it into the story. "I don't think X would do that." etc. It's frustrating but I just set it aside to compare with other readers' take on it to see if it's a them-problem or a me-problem and decide what needs refining to prevent that reaction. As far as stealing, I wish I had an answer for you. That all sounds terrible. People are always going to steal and, again, I'm sorry you've dealt with that.

I'm naive I guess because I could never imagine doing that to someone but people do. Hell, we had a visiting big-ish name writer come to our college who outright copped to stealing a line from one of our professor's books. It's gross. People kinda suck. It's something we worry about.

All I can say there is, they can't tell the story the way we can. They can steal the interior design but we have the foundation in our heads. We know what's on the second floor and which stairs squeak when you step on them. I guess that's what I would tell myself.

I don't know if I got too wordy there or too serious or whatnot, but those are my thoughts. Feel free to throw my suggestions in the trash too. You know your story.

Thanks for the questions and good luck!

[callisto-rants]

Starting a new ✨series✨ that no one asked for! ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

Callisto-Rants presents...

Here's my Two Cents

Where we just throw down our two cents on how we would change a series to make it better, in our own personal opinion.

[You can Block this tag if you're not interested in this series: #Here's Our Two Cents]

Here's my Two Cents

Yarichin Bitch Club.

Ever since I had the misfortune of having that opening theme song stuck in my head because of countless memes and tiktok edits. . . I have wished for days to have the ability to create a time machine to prevent myself from saying. . .

"okay, fine I'll bite the bullet and check out the source material."

Now if you're reading this and thinking, "huh. I never heard of this series..." let me just tell you, GOD I WISH I WAS YOU RIGHT NOW.

No one was going to tell me this BL Manga about a "pHoTogRaPhY cLuB" wasn't completely INSANE? I was just supposed to find out Three Volumes Later??

Now some of y'all who have read the source material might be thinking. . .

"Okay Callisto, get over it it's obviously supposed to be a comedy it's not meant to be taken seriously 🙄"

And to that I say... I mean I guess??? But do we really need all of THAT to make it a comedy?? I feel like you could still have an entertaining comedy BL Manga without 90% of the shit that goes on in that series..... But that's just ✨my two cents✨ take it or leave it.

FIRST THINGS FIRST, here's all the stuff I'd automatically remove from this series off the bat.

💀 The Gang Bangs.

💀 Teacher x Student Relationships.

💀 In fact all instances of unconsensual acts & sexual assault committed in this manga. Throw all of that away.

💀 the fact that the term Bisexual was used as a replacement for the term switch, and had nothing to do with the sexual orientation itself whatsoever.

💀 The High School Setting.

💀 Whatever the fuck Yuri was on.

💀 90% of the hyper sexualized traits these characters had.

Now here's what I'd change to make it better... Basically here's an AU of what if it was actually a normal photography club....

Actually make it a fucking Photography Club. Not a sex club that's in a fuckin HIGH SCHOOL. Hell, you could just throw this in a college setting too, for more mature themes.

Main character, Takashi Toono a college student that's trying to get out of his comfort zone more. So he decides to join the photography club, because he thinks it's not demanding to require anything of him compared to any other club on campus. He knows completely NOTHING about photography, and doesn't have any passion for the art media. His Character growth would be learning to appreciate the art media While learning what it means to him, as well as who he wants to be as he enters the adult world as a young adult.

Yuu Kashima, can stay as Takashi's love interest. Also, I feel like all the members should have a specific style of taking photos that correlates with their personality in some way. Yuu's photography style would be something the lines of Candid photography which is a type of photography style that's main focus is to take photos in the moment or in surprise. Something he has already done when he took that photo of Takashi. I also feel like Yuu would be the one to keep pushing Takashi to love photography, and understand it's more than snapping a photo.

Kyousuke Yaguchi, can stay as the Love Rival for Yuu Kashima and overall keep his personality? It was actually pretty interesting and I liked his Character dynamics with everyone else. Kyousuke Yaguchi can also stay as the outsider that directly / indirectly influences Everyone else in the club. Causing Takashi to explore his feelings and expand his social group, and make him think about what he wants to capture in his photos. Overall the same interaction between Kyousuke & Yuu Kashima with their rivalry and brotherly relationship at it's breaking point. As well as, Kyousuke and Yui's relationship being tense with miscommunication.

Yui Tamura, I imagine Yui's photography style would be more of Adventure (capturing shots in the great outdoors, usually involving extreme sports; mountain-climbing, skiing, kayaking, sky diving, etc) & Sports Photography. Which could create interesting interactions between Kyousuke and Yui. Cue Yui trying to cover up the fact that, every time the soccer club commissions Yui to take some photos of their club activity to promote their club, all of Yui's photos are of Kyousuke playing soccer. Causing Yui to complain to Kyousuke to get out of his shots and that he's ruining them by being in all of them. So, Kyousuke just shouts back "then stop following me around with your camera, DUMBASS". Just imagine Them bickering, because Yui 100% did not delete the photo he captured of Kyousuke getting knocked out by a soccer ball to the face.

Itsuki Shikatani would definitely be in the club, but only because he prefers to have his photos be taken, more than he likes taking photos himself. He would probably be a cross dresser, who enjoys dressing up in feminine articles of clothing and posing for photos. Everyone on campus who doesn't know Itsuki personally, always asks who the beautiful woman in these photos are, the club president and vice President always just says it's one of their cousins that happen to be in town. If Itsuki had to have a style of photography, it would probably be fashion.

Toru Fujisaki. . . This one is difficult only because his Character is purely centered around Yuki's Character. . . So I'm going to take some creative liberties here. . . Probably really insecure about himself, because he feels like he's a wall flower that's really forgettable, that no one cares about. Although, it's mostly because he's shooting himself in the foot by not letting one have the opportunity to get to know him to give him a chance, in the first place. Until, he meets Yuki who makes him realize that not everyone sees him as a wall flower and someone can notice his nicer qualities about himself that he's hiding away. Toru's Character development in this AU, would be for for him to learn to love himself more and try to trust people to accept him. As well as to expand his social circle with the support of not only Yuki, but the Photography Club as well. At first I bet, he would only feel comfortable with Yuki taking his photos and modeling only for him, but over time he'd let the other club members take his photo when he gets more confident in himself. While also, developing his own style of photography, that isn't just "cute photos of Yuri", it would probably be Still Life or Portrait.

Ayato Yuri, okay first. . . I'm still not over the fact that this boy was written like a deranged feral child, that was given access to a pornhub account way too early in life. While being dropped on his head several times, before and after his first words. Anyhow. . . I feel like Yuri would fit the trope of the genius, that no one understands in any capacity. His mind is 10 steps ahead of everyone else and he forgets to slow down and explain what the fuck he's talking about, when he goes into a passionate rant about photography. With endless rambles about golden ratio, gold lighting and blue lighting, and how he needs these specific props, that don't seem to fit the theme of the photo at all to make it perfect. But despite that, his photos always come out beautifully. No one can deny that his methods might be extremely weird, but they always work out way too well to give anyone the opportunity to chastise him. Anyone trying to work with Yuri often leaves the experience with a beautiful photo in hand, but an enormous headache. Even members within the photography club can't keep up with Yuri most of the time either, he's often in his own little world that just makes sense to only him. He can be a eccentric and passionate about his hobby and goofy to not make people feel too uncomfortable with the huge distance he unintentionally places between himself and others when he doesn't bother to slow down for anyone. But, he still has a good heart to make sure everyone gets a piece of art that'll always be memorable to them. Additionally, with that being said I feel like Toru would be the few people that would consistently attempt to keep up with Yuri, when he's a light year away from everyone else in his rambles. Toru wouldn't shut down and show disinterest in what Yuri says when he can no longer keep up, he's always being supportive and encouraging Yuri to continue because he knows it makes him happy to be able to express his passion. And sometimes, Yuri will pause and explain a bit to let Toru keep up with him, because he just truly appreciates someone trying to get closer to him, without making him feel bad. I would say Yuri is a jack of all trades when it comes to Photography styles. There isn't a single style he is terrible at, but he truly excels at Abstract Photography.

Koshiro Itome I think Koshiro would fit the silent type trope, but with a lot on his mind. Always over thinking things, and although he looks calm his mind is always buzzing with 500 things at once. Because, of this the only way he can find some semblance of peace is by going out for a nature walk and letting the environment take his mind off things. He's always worries about deadlines for projects, meeting up with clients face to face for the first time, whether or not a company will like his photos he submitted, if his boyfriend Akemi is okay, what if he doesn't find anything to take a picture of or if he's missing the perfect shot right now, will the club be okay after they all graduate, what else can be learn to improve his skills etc etc. Akemi can always tell when he's actually calm and when he's just zoned out and drowning in his own worries behind his calm demeanor. Luckily for Akemi, he knows exactly what to do to make him feel better, like a life boat to his pleas for help in the vast ocean of his thoughts. Koshiro is 100% the mom friend in the club, always helping newbies out on how to properly take care of their equipment, and the general basics, stopping people from bickering and carrying around a Mary Poppins bag of useful items. "Damn I forgot to bring my infrared lens with me!" "It's okay I brought a spare, here you go." Koshiro's photography style would be Nature & Wild life, cue everyone wondering how the hell he managed to capture a photo of baby bear and it's mother so close up with such clarity with the equipment he has on him. It should be impossible there's no way he could it's just unlikely, but all Koshiro does in response is just shrugging calmly "I just slowly walked up to them, and took some photos and went my way after I was done, they weren't bothered at all." At first no one believes him, until they see the next photo of him petting the mother bear, and within the next photo of him holding the baby bears paw. I like to think Akemi is always bragging at how his boyfriend is basically a Disney Prince, with the way animals just trust him enough to let Koshiro approach to take the photos. Of course Akemi has the proof that his Boyfriend is not making any of these up. With photo evidence he had taken from a incredibly safe distance away, of Koshiro just interacting with wildlife at such a close distance. Because, Akemi was not in fact gifted the ability of a Disney prince, to be doing that shit that Koshiro pulls on a daily basis. I feel like because of this Akemi can be a bit over protective of Koshiro, always telling him to text him before he goes to work and he gets back home, so he knows a feral bear didn't devour his boyfriend in the woods. He tries his best to join Koshiro while he works so he can be at peace of mind that Koshiro is in fact safe, but they both know it's very difficult for Koshiro to focus. When his boyfriend is being incredibly cute how could he remember he's here to take photos of the wild life and not his boyfriend? That and Akemi always accidentally scares away the wildlife, when he accidentally reads the animals body language wrong as any attempt to devour his boyfriend. Akemi will lose 25 years of his life with amount of false alarms, he has encountered in those damn woods.

Keiichi Akemi, Akemi is definitely one of those smug bastards, that has an ulterative motive or an ace up his sleeve. Appearing sweet and kind until you realize it was a facade. But one way or another you find yourself wrapped up in his convoluted plans, where you're either in his photoshoot as a model or you're carrying all his equipment, while he goes from one job to the next. Akemi's photography style would be Wedding Photography & Landscape something he definitely would've picked up from the countless outings he had with Koshiro in the outdoors. Akemi's friends are almost always married or paired up together, and that's no coincidence. This man is a match-making demon, a hopeless romantic who loves to see a budding romance finally bloom. So, he can snag a fat check when they thank him for brining them together and hire him as the official wedding photographer. His intuition is never wrong about the perfect pairings and how to push the right buttons to move things along, without getting directly involved until the right time comes. Something, that will be a pain in Toono's ass down the line as he stays in the Photography Club.

Overall, I feel like this could've been a really nice BL Manga which was a love letter to the art media of Photography. As Toono figures out what Photography means to him and how he wants to use it to express his feelings. "Why do you take photos? What do you want to say in these photos and tell people without the ability of using your words?" I feel like at first Toono, would just be confused "it's just a photo what's so special about it? You take it as a cool momento for something."

But, as time goes on, and he learns why everyone in the club enjoys photography and why they're here, he learns it's more than that. Whether it be to vent something you're unable to express in words, express your love for something or someone, to tell a story, to inspire others, to feel free, to share something with someone. All these different forms of expression, will let Toono figure out what he wants from photography and how he plans on expressing it.

Also instead of the whole "have sex with someone in one month or we gang bang you against your will" dilemma. . . I feel like another suspenseful situation could have been, "Create a photo album, that will impress all of us in one month, or you have to help us all out with our next projects." Which at first doesn't sound terrible, until you remember...

Yui is a thrill seeker, and would probably push you off a cliff to snag a cool photo. Or force you to be his pack mule as you climb up serval mountains.

Itsuki would force you to cross dress and model different fashion styles to make you look like a clown for his own amusement. All the while he revels in your shame, and points out how these colors don't suit you at all, but ignores the fact he's the one who put you in that outfit in the first place.

Yuri is such a wild card that you honest to God don't know what the fuck will happen to you, it'll be like being on an acid trip the whole time. And not knowing what will happen brings you more fear than knowing what will.

Koshiro would probably bring you to a wolf den full of hungry ravenous wolves, and let you accidentally get eaten alive by a pack of wolves. While he takes pictures of puppies, without a care in the world.

Akemi... Akemi just scares Toono, he seems like the safest bet out of everyone else. But Toono knows better to trust that sweet smile. Toono would be safer walking into Satan's house than spend a day with Akemi at work. Whatever he would have planned for them if he were to lose this challenge would not be good for his sanity. He hates how he knows Akemi wants just that for Toono to know he's not going to be safe either. Akemi would probably make him cry with prying questions about his romance life. While hitting too close to home with all his assumptions about him that he can't argue back. It's losing battle from there on out.

The only problem for Toono is Everyone in this club is so different, that it's almost impossible to be able to impress them all. None of them agree, which style is better or having almost anything in common photography style wise. Toono can't just half-heartedly replicate anyone's style either, he's going to actually try and fail miserably to understand this art media better, like everyone else. I think after losing the challenge and spending time with everyone, Toono would come to really like the club and everyone else in it.

And that's my ✨two cents✨ on how this story could've been better if it didn't focus too much on the whole pwp aspect.

Take it or leave it.

[windless-hurricane]

She's the One

Chapter 2: Your Name

A Billy x Reader x Steve Fanfic

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SUMMARY: You're One, one of the many kids experimented on in Hawkins lab. Eleven's sister. You were found and now you're here to stay.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This took a lot longer to write than I anticipated, but here it is! I'd also like to apologize to anyone who sent me an ask. I accidentally responded and now I can't find y'all. If you're still interested, just let me know in the comments. Thank you.

WARNINGS: Language, violence, and scenes involving blood and/or death.

WORD COUNT: 2.8k

TAGLIST: @cherrym4rk @torntaltos @bun-dpdbny @5sosxgrethan @acidrain707 @evelynfreakinaddams @qtmeryr @kayln97 @uwu-bucky @book--butterfly @laurmillen @art-flirt @thecornerstoreoftheuniverse

LAST CHAPTER

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“What can you do?”

“How old are you?”

“Are you Eleven’s sister?”

“Just how strong are you?”

“Can you show us?”

The kids continued to throw question after question at you, expecting them to be answered, but leaving you with no time to answer them. You just stared at them with wide eyes until Hopper cut them off with a harsh tone.

“I’ll be asking the questions here.” And silence befell on them once again. Wow, you thought. He really had a talent for getting people to shut up.

You looked to him and he reeked of frustration and worry. However, when he spoke, there was an ounce of sympathy in his voice. “Why were you in that chamber?” You knew he was going to ask that. It was obvious enough, but it still made you cringe with discomfort. You didn’t want to talk about that chamber, because for you, that thing was a personal hell you thought you would never escape from. It was frightening and you never wanted to go back. However, answers were something that they deserved. Not only would it have helped them through this crisis, it would also give them some trust in you.

So, you cleared your throat and began to speak, slowly but carefully. “Well...since you know Eleven...you must already know...what the lab did…to her...to us.” He nodded. “I was the first one...they did it to… They always said that…they got lucky with me. That I was their best experiment and...would lay the groundwork for the others after me. That's why...all the kids who did survive the experiments, got one or two of my abilities.”

“And what exactly are your abilities,” Dustin asked with a grin, but Hopper wasn’t amused. He shot Dustin a death glare, but he didn't seem to notice it.

“I-I can move things...with my mind,” you revealed. “And make people see what I want them to see… I can read minds too and...tell what people are feeling.”

“Can you control people?”

“No. I haven't been able to that...not yet at least.” You caught a glimpse of Hopper's annoyed expression and gulped nervously. “Anyway... The reason I was in that chamber in the first place is because...I helped the other kids escape. Three, Seven, and Eight.”

“You mean there's other kids out there right now,” he asked.

“Well, not ‘here’ here, but...around. That day...I wasn't able to get Eleven out, but luckily...she was able to get out on her own.”

“While I was in there though, I could hear things - voices. At first, I-I didn't know who they belonged to, but I slowly started to realize what was going on. The first voice I heard was from that woman, Joyce...and she was talking...about him.” You pointed to Will who was asleep on the couch with a blanket over him. “He went missing and you found him, but now...something's wrong with him.”

“You know what's wrong?”

You nodded, while never breaking eye contact with him. “I know everything...because...I heard everything. I know all of you too. I recognize you from your voices.”

At that, everyone glanced between each other in astonishment. You, you were someone that they just met, someone who had just entered the picture without warning. Yet, you seemed to know more about what was going on than they did. Hell, you even knew all of them without a proper introduction. So if that didn’t show a fraction of what you were capable of, then they didn’t know what could. You were someone worth the bargain. Even so, Hopper felt compelled to ask one last thing.

“How long were you in there?”

You shrugged, “5 years, give or take.”

“Shit,” one of the kids breathed out and you could make it out as Lucas. Hopper sighed deeply and you could tell it was from a mixture of sympathy and desperation.

“I'm sorry to ask this of you, but...we need your help.”

“And I'll give it,” you blurted out without hesitation. “I was going to give it regardless.” You said more quietly as you looked over to Will. “There’s a darkness in Hawkins that we need to stop...and it starts with him.”

__________________________________________

“Okay, so if this thing is like a brain that’s controlling everything, then if we kill it...we kill everything that it controls.” You nodded as you continued to stare at the page from Dustin’s D&D manual. Mike’s deduction made sense, but the same question still stood. How do you-

“How do you kill this thing? Shoot it with fireballs or something?”

You jumped in surprise as Hopper snatched the manual away, trying to find the answer for himself. Dustin eventually spoke up, but it was less than confident.

“Well, uh, you summon an undead army, um, because-because zombies, you know, they don’t have brains.” He began to stumble over his own words. “And the mind flayer, it-it… It likes brains. It’s just a game. It’s a game,” he finally confessed.

“What the hell are we doing here,” Hopper groaned. Things weren’t looking good and that became more evident as Hopper and Dustin started to argue.

“I thought we were waiting for your military backup.”

“We are!”

“How are they gonna stop this? You can't just shoot this with guns.”

“You don't know that! We don't know anything!”

“We know it's already killed everybody in that lab. We know the monsters are gonna molt again. We know that it's only a matter of time before those tunnels reach this town.”

“They’re right,” a voice interrupted. Joyce. “We have to kill it.”

Your face softened as you turned to face her. She was being overwhelmed by grief, sadness, and anger, but who could blame her obviously. She lost someone she loved.

“I want to kill it,” she declared.

“Me too, Joyce. Me too.” Hopper was doing his best to calm her; but deep down, he couldn’t even do that for himself. “But how do we do that?” And it hit you.

“Will knows.” Everyone stopped and turned to you. “Will knows how to kill it, because he’s connected to it. He already knows everything about it and that includes its weaknesses.”

“I thought we couldn’t trust him anymore - that he’s a spy for the mind flayer now,” Max reminded, causing Mike to shake his head.

“Yeah, but he can't spy if he doesn't know where he is.”

“Exactly,” you confirmed. “This will work.”

__________________________________________

You all decided that the shed in the backyard would be the best place for Will’s interrogation. It was small, making it perfect to disguise in a short amount of time. So, you all went outside to find materials that could help in your endeavor.

You were encouraged to not use your powers until the real threat came and while that wasn't a terrible idea, you also hadn’t used your powers in five years. You were rusty and needed as much practice as you could get. So, whenever the kids came upon an object that was either too heavy to carry or too high on a shelf to reach, you helped them. It was enough for now.

You let out a small sigh as you wiped the blood dripping from your nose. “You okay,” you heard someone ask and you turned to find Hopper. You nodded.

“Ye-yeah, I’m okay. Thank you.” You moved to go back into the house since most of the preparations were finished already, but stopped once he spoke again.

“I’m sorry again that all of this was so sudden and that...we weren’t able to save you under more normal circumstances.”

“Oh… That-that’s okay,” you told him. “I’m just glad that...that you got me out...and honestly, this couldn’t have been a more perfect time. You need my help to stop this thing. So… I guess what I’m really trying to say is...thank you. Thank you for saving me.” You managed a small smile as you looked up at him and he simply nodded in response. However, the tiniest of smiles reached his lips as well.

“I know you said you already know me, but I think...you at least deserve something more proper than this,” he reached his hand out. “Jim Hopper.”

You gazed down at his hand for a bit before taking it like you thought you were supposed to. You tried to match his grip as you smiled wider, “One.”

__________________________________________

You sat in the kitchen, hugging your knees to your chest. It was the first time you were left alone since being freed and now, you couldn’t ignore all the emotions floating around you. Anger, fear, regret, guilt, sadness, pain. To make it worse, you could hear every sad thing being said in the shed. It didn’t matter if you weren’t there. You could still hear everything like you always did.

Do you know what March 22nd is? It's your birthday. Your birthday.

Do you remember the day Dad left? We stayed up all night building Castle Byers… just the way you drew it.

I just felt so alone and scared, but… I saw you alone on the swings and you were alone too.

Tears ran down your cheeks and you couldn’t tell if they were for them, yourself and the life you could’ve had, or both. It was all becoming too much to bear and you couldn’t help the tears that kept falling and the sniffles that started to leave you. It wasn’t until you heard someone walk in that you tried to contain yourself. You tried to get rid of the tears with the sleeves of your shirt, but it seems like you didn’t try hard enough.

“Hey… Hey, are you crying?” And you froze. No one had ever spoken to you like that before. No one had ever used a voice that was so genuine and calming that it was enough to make your tears stop. That voice provided instant relief and you didn’t know why. You looked up to the owner of that voice and it was none other than Steve with a face of worry plastered on him.

You gazed into his eyes for a bit before answering. They were brown, just like most of the world’s, yet they still managed to be different. They still managed to be incredibly warm and beautiful. It was quite soothing. You gulped softly before averting your gaze.

“No,” you uttered, but of course he wasn’t convinced.

“Then, what’s all this,” he asked, gesturing toward your glossy eyes and red nose.

“Um, I- It just comes with the power.” You smiled softly in an attempt to make him believe you.

“Oh, so a bad case of allergies comes with your powers?” You looked at him in astonishment before bursting out in laughter, something you didn’t even know you were capable of.

“What? No.”

“Well, that’s what you said,” he began to laugh as well as he grinned a smile that could’ve made your heart stop.

“That’s not what I meant,” you tried to explain. “It’s just that...with my power...I can feel the emotions of everyone around me, but it’s not something I can really turn off. So sometimes... it can be very overwhelming...like right now.”

“Yeah, it really isn’t the best time, huh?” You shook your head, causing him to hum in response. “What if you just focused on one person?” Your eyes widened.

“Huh?”

“What do you feel when you feel me?” His eyes widened too. “Wait, that sounds weird.” You let out a small chuckle as he started to panic. “I mean, what do you feel when...um-what do you feel when you see me?”

You tilted your head to the side as you felt him. Not physically, but just through the way you gazed at him.

“Worry and...nervousness,” you confirmed. “You’re a lot more tame than everyone else here.”

“Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is,” you chuckled, and you didn’t notice the way his eyes scanned over your features or the way he smirked after.

“So, your name’s One, huh? Like the number?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Yes.”

“But it’s not your actual name.” You shook your head, only confirming his thoughts.

“No. I don’t remember what my actual name was. One was just the name they gave me. We were never...people to them. We were just numbers...experiments.”

“That’s really messed up. I’m sorry.” You shook your head again.

“It-it’s okay.” However, he could still tell from you expression that it wasn’t.

“How about...we give you a new name? A real name?”

For some reason, your heart flutter at his suggestion and a warmth flushed your cheeks.

“Um, I think-I think I’d like that,” you told him and his eyes gleamed.

“Ok, names names. What do you look like?” He brought his hand to his chin and pondered for a bit. “How about… Stacy?” You grimaced without meaning to and he took that as a no. “Alright... Oh! Heather.” You shook your head. “Really?”

“Really,” you responded.

“Ok, ok. How about… Let me think. (Y/N). That’s a nice name.”

(Y/N). It was simple and different all at once, and the way it rolled it off his tongue made you like it even more.

“I think that’s it,” you smirked and he mimicked you right away.

“Well, (Y/N). I’m Steve Harrington.” He stuck his hand out and you took it gently. His hand was a lot bigger than yours in comparison, but a lot softer. It was warm and careful, like he was afraid he would crush your hand if he squeezed a bit too tightly. It was sweet.

“Well, Steve Harrington. I’m…(Y/N).”

“Nice to meet you.” You both giggled softly until you were cut off by Mike yelling ‘We got something!’

“Duty calls,” Steve sighed and you nodded, letting go of his hand reluctantly.

Although the moment was short, you appreciated Steve going out of his way to make you feel better. He comforted you and even made you laugh. It was like for a moment, you weren’t in this situation. For a moment, it felt like it was just the two of you - living and living happily.

_________________________________ 

While you and Steve were talking, the group in the shed was able to bring Will back. Not fully, but partly. It turned out that the recollection of his memories was helping him gain some control within his body. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. He tapped his fingers until he spelt ‘Here’ and with every memory someone spouted, a new letter came after. Eventually, you all got the answer that you had been hoping for.

“Close the gate,” you all read aloud in unison. Before you could even process that however, the phone started ringing and a nauseating pain was sent to the pit of your stomach.

The feeling only worsened when Nancy yanked the phone out of the wall. You already knew it was too late.

“They know where we are,” you stated and the monsters screeching in the distance only proved that.

“That’s not good,” Hopper muttered. “Come on. We gotta go.” He motioned for everyone to follow him, but there was nowhere to go. It was too dangerous to leave. It was too dangerous to even think about leaving. You could already feel those things nearby. 

You shook your furiously, “No, no. Get away from the windows!” Everyone was stunned by the volume of your voice, but seeing as you were the only strong enough to handle these things, no one complained. They easily compiled and started huddling up in the living room, preparing themselves for attack. You subconsciously put your arm in front of Steve and the other out in front of you. The growling steadily grew closer and closer and the closer it got, the more you tensed up. You weren't strong enough yet and you knew it, but that wasn't an excuse. You still had to protect them. You would protect them. 

So you waited, waited for something to come crashing through the door... But it never came. Instead, the growling was replaced by thrashing and you instantly knew who it was. 

Something came crashing through the window and everyone pointed their weapons at it. You glanced over and it was one of the monsters, freshly dead. Everyone else was alarmed but you. 

“It's okay,” you whispered, but they were more confused than reassured. The lock to the door slowly started to turn and everyone aimed their weapons at it.

With a small click, the door unlocked and creaked open. Once they set foot into the house, you smiled softly. 

“Eleven.”

[skriaki]

TOP 10 NINTENDO SWITCH GAMES 2019 - my arbitrary list!

Sometimes it's good to be proven wrong. I was pretty sceptical when the Switch was first announced, as it didn't seem too different from the Wii U's gamepad. Then I spent two years watching Nintendo enjoy a complete reversal of fortune, to the point of potentially amassing a more compelling library than Sony's or Microsoft's consoles. So that's how I quite suddenly found myself buying a Switch in October 2019, after having resisted the PS4 and Xbone for five whole years, and my free time has since been dominated by this little machine that defied the odds.

Some of Nintendo's business decisions can still seem inexplicable, but releasing a powerful handheld console that can also be docked with a TV at a moment's notice has proved to be an inspired idea, rather than the gimmick the Wii U's gamepad mostly turned out to be. And along with Nintendo's dependable series of top-notch exclusives, the Switch has enjoyed much better third-party support, which is how I ended up buying Dark Souls for the fourth bloody time just because the option to play it portably was too tempting to resist.

The Switch is the first console I've bought since the PS3 and for all Nintendo's quirks, there's a reason the Switch has dominated Christmas wishlists for three years running. Games like Super Mario Odyssey feel like full-size adventures that just happen to have a portable option, as opposed to handheld games you can also play on the big screen. This is the first year in a long while that I've actually played enough topical titles to justify a "games of the year" list, even if my recent Nintendo bias is pretty blatant.

So with that caveat in mind, and in no particular order, here's my entirely subjective list of the best Nintendo Switch games of 2019.

Luigi's Mansion 3

This is a franchise I'd always been curious about and can finally have an opinion on. The process of going from floor to floor of the hotel hoovering up ghosts and solving puzzles is pretty straightforward, but Luigi's Mansion 3 has so much polish and personality crammed into the cartridge. Luigi is immediately lovable as a determined coward, and each level has a wildly different theme that's realised with extravagant audio and visual flair, so progress always feels rewarding. Though this isn't true horror by any means, there can be an unsettling atmosphere and some of the bosses are pretty freaky. I officially love this oddball franchise and am desperate for a chance to play the story again in co-op. Unquestionably a first-class exclusive.

Doom (Switch port)

Not to be confused with the impressive Switch version of Doom 2016, this is the iconic Doom made cheap and accessible. While purists may take issue with some minor technical deviations, this is the first time I've got most of the way through Doom because the portability and *glorious* true dual-stick control makes this easily my favourite version. There's even a cheat menu for when I just want to mindlessly punch hell beasts. The main thing that ages Doom is its maze-like structure, but playing it casually experience alleviates that frustration somewhat. At a grand total of four pounds, this is a BFB (big fucking bargain).

Untitled Goose Game

You know a game is good when the only asterisk I put on my recommendation is that it *may* be overpriced. Untitled Goose Game took the internet by storm this year because it's the quintessential indie game: cute, simple and with anti-authoritarian undertones. As a horrible goose, it's your mission to cause havoc in an unsuspecting English village, interacting with people and objects to cause chain reactions of chaos. Some of the puzzle solutions are maybe a bit obscure, but 90% of the time just messing around with everything in the area will lead to a solution. Untitled Goose Game makes up for its brevity with sheer comedic charm, feeling much better-designed than a "lul so random" affair like Goat Simulator. A honking good time.

Terraria (Switch port)

I have spent literally hundreds of hours on the PC version of Terraria, so when I was broke after buying my Switch the new Terraria port was an obvious cost-effective choice. While the controls aren't as precise, the amount of time spent mining and sorting through loot makes this a great handheld experience. I can't comment on the multiplayer options but few games represent such a sheer value for money, as there's always a new cave to explore or a new boss to overcome. Time has been kind to this 2011 classic, grind notwithstanding.

Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair

While I personally enjoyed the original Yooka-Laylee, it was definitely flawed and I never seriously expected to see a sequel. But Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair launched quite abruptly and did a pretty spectacular job of upstaging its predecessor. All the previous game's half-baked feel has been replaced with clever design touches, like the equippable tonics which grant helpful abilities at the cost of a currency penalty. The titular Lair is actually the final level and available to throw yourself at right from the beginning, but beating it without first obtaining more hitpoints by completing other stages is incredibly hard, which is a great way to incentivize progress without denying more confident players the option of beating the game earlier if they can meet the challenge. Impossible Lair might be this year's biggest surprise, and despite a modest budget I think it's worthy of comparison to excellent 2D platformers like Rayman Legends. Just don't expect to defeat Capital B on your first attempt.

A Hat In Time (Switch port)

I recently reviewed A Hat In Time but at the risk of repeating myself, it's one of the most charming games of the last few years and an incredibly impressive crowdfunded achievement. Mario's offerings may be a grander technical feat, but A Hat In Time is a fast and fabulous journey through a series of weird and wonderful worlds that all feel distinct in content and tone. It's very openly inspired by GameCube-era platformers like Mario Sunshine and Psychonauts and it easily scratches that itch. Simply one of the best original platformers of this generation, and I defy you not to love Hat Kid's cheeky antics.

Spyro Reignited Trilogy (Switch port)

As someone who thinks the original Spyro trilogy holds up better than most early 3D games, I'd have actually preferred a simple port rather than a full remake, but The Reignited Trilogy is honestly impeccable. The updated visuals are gorgeous while maintaining the general style of those old, jaggy models, and very little of the gameplay or content has changed except for sensible updates like the ability to immediately warp between every level you've visited. Having full dual-analogue control is also an absolute godsend even for a PS1 veteran like me. Though Spyro may seem a bit basic these days when faced with modern platformer marvels, the Reignited Trilogy makes these old favourites accessible again at a generous price point.

Ring Fit Adventure

Yes, I have a Wii kicking around in a box somewhere. No, Wii Fit never held my attention as anything more than a curiosity. Ring Fit Adventure, meanwhile, is limited only by my cholesterol-encrusted heart and dislike of excessive showering. This is an honest-to-goodness attempt at making an RPG out of a workout toy, and the amount of polish put into the game's presentation and hardware implementation is pretty remarkable. Levels involve jogging on the spot and squeezing the ring accessory to collect goodies and overcome obstacles, and periodically you'll engage in turn-based combat where you use a custom selection of exercise moves to deal damage. It's a fantastic idea pulled off much more elegantly than it sounds. The ring accessory unfortunately makes this quite an expensive game, so it'll take a lot of regular use to get your money's worth, but I can honestly (and surprisingly) say that exercise suddenly becomes more compelling when it's presented as a light RPG adventure with anthropomorphic gym equipment encouraging you to take breaks and drink plenty of water.

Pokémon Sword/Shield

Disclaimer: I can only give my impressions from 25 hours of playing Pokémon Shield, so this is DEFINITELY not a full review. That being said, this is still an easy recommendation to existing Pokemaniacs and a good starting point for any new acolytes. While the core formula hasn't evolved (har har) much since the very first Pokemon, Sword and Shield still has a number of modern quality of life improvements that make previous generations show their age. I've had so much fun building a core crew of cute and/or badass 'mons in a weird Nintendo version of Britain, and the online features combine with a VASTLY improved random encounter system to make grinding far less of a concern. The wild area takes some getting used to, but it's satisfying to come back and capture the huge Onyx you had to run away from a few hours before. Even if Pokémon Sword/Shield has some technical blemishes and could have pushed the series further in some regards, it's still easy to see why this franchise has maintained such a beloved status for so long.

Red Faction: Guerrilla Re-mars-tered (Switch port)

Along with Dark Souls, Red Faction was a game I never even knew I needed on the go, but now I've got it I can't imagine ever going back. A cult classic due to its amazing destruction physics, Red Faction sees you leading a proletariat revolution on Mars, literally tearing down corporate monuments to free the working class from systematic oppression. The open world is a bit claustrophobic and the shooting isn't exactly mind-blowing, but there's a reason I've beaten Red Faction every couple of years ever since its original 2009 release. The Switch port does the game justice and if you set the difficulty to easy then this is one of the best rage-venting experiences money can buy. So yes, I recommend getting your ass to Mars.

[silver-elysium]

Hi :) I'd love to hear about your thoughts on the season so far. And also if possible your Worlds experience. Also very cool that you've been skating seriously since you were 7.

Hi! I’m so happy to receive this from you because you’re one of my favourite blogs out there and I’ve been visiting it since way before I created one of my own :) 

Thank you :) Skating has been an absolute roller coaster through all these years but also incredibly rewarding and I am so grateful for it.

I will make a separate post about my Worlds experience because it’s also going to be really long and to separate these two subjects, but I still have to edit that one, so it’ll be up sometime next week :)

Apologies for the late reply, it had been a while since I’d logged in last and then I wanted to write a semi-coherent answer to this because I have a lot of thoughts. I still think this is a mess of a text but didn’t want to drag it out even longer. Also wanted to wait until Cup of China to be able to cover more or less all top skaters. And wow, sorry this turned out so long. 

First of all, I hate how many recycled programs we have this year. I think it’s unacceptable when it comes to top senior skaters and especially medal contenders, because it sets an example of staying in your comfort zone and generally feels like they know they’ve come up with something good once and don’t think they can do it again. 

Now, I think ladies is pretty much clear. Medvedeva will most likely win everything she enters. I don't quite get her crushing Mao and Yuna's records, especially her very high PCS, but this is figure skating. I don't get her hype, but that's a whole other topic. I am interested to see Medvedeva vs Zagitova at Russian nats and (probably) GPF, though I don't think Zagitova can quite dethrone her on her first attempt if Medvedeva is clean (or falls once), I see her as the most likely challenger, especially next season. Kaetlyn Osmond is my current ladies love, and I am very excited because it looks like her mental game has become very strong and she looks very confident, which I think is the most crucial part to her skating, because she has lovely technique (swooning over her jumps every time). So if she's clean, she can definitely be top of [the rest of] the field (I consider Medvedeva currently untouchable, but personally, I would put Kaetlyn ahead of her). I am glad she went back to Piaf because she makes it magical, although I'm always against reusing programs when you've been a senior on a high level for more than a couple years. I think the American and Russian nationals will be the most interesting ladies competitions before the Olympics. I would not bet my money on any one of the American ladies to make the team right now, which is why this season is going to be very interesting in that regard. They all look a bit shaky at the moment? Then the Japanese ladies is also a very deep field. I am very impressed with Wakaba Higuchi, she's been beautiful and very consistent this season. I think she should have beaten Zagitova at CoC. While being only 16, she has very strong skating skills and relatively mature interpretation (I think she lacks that abandon but it'll come with experience I guess). I am also looking forward to every of Carolina Kostner's competition. She is one of the most beautiful skaters in history whom I've loved for years and I love her FS this year. I am also really looking forward to her getting that 3Lz on board and seeing what she could do vs Osmond if both are clean.

The men's field this year I think is going to drive me out of my mind. Quads left and right! Yuzuru's 4Lz I think is going to only get better and better, and if the others (like the jealous type 4Lo lol) collaborate, he might be unbeatable because he is probably the only one who gets PCS equal or even higher than Chiddy's? Don't quote me on that, because I haven't looked at protocols in a while. Nathan Chen looks to be getting more and more consistent and artistic, which makes him such a huge threat. Then there's Shoma Uno, who is probably the most beautiful skater after Patrick to me, and his speed across the ice and especially during spins is out of this world! Also, quads galore. So these three (in no particular order) so far seem the front-runners to me. Shame about Javi now not having a chance to make the GPF, but at least it's not a persistent issue he's been battling (from what I've heard he had a stomach issue in China?) Then my baby Chiddy I'm really worried about. I hope he can go out there at the Olympics and lay down two skates he's content with and handle the quads. I have been thinking that maybe the ISU should reconsider the factoring of the components scores now that the base values have gone up like that? Because the technical now outweighs the artistic, and I think they should be at least equal. Also, really want to see KRey's quad loop!! Hopefully he can land it the next competitions. Super happy for him at CoC FS. Boyang Jin I feel is the black horse that'll shine through if others falter? Because of his technical base, because components wise, I prefered his last year's programs. I don't like his SP this year yet but I do like the free. I just felt like PCS wise, he was not the same skater I adored at CoC last year?

When it comes to the pairs, Sui and Han look like the current favourites. I loove their SP and their FS has this great build up of energy, which is always good. I expected to love Savchenko/Massot's programs more? Especially after their last year's programs were such favourites of mine. Nevertheless, I have been a fan of Aljona and Robin's for so so many years and looked up to her, and I really think she deserves that Olympic gold. Therefore I hope Bruno finally gets the citizenship because I'm getting worried about them being able to go at all! Tarasova/Morozov seem to be scoring high with their elements, so if consistent, they could place really high (not sure if they could beat S/H right now, guess we'll have to see more competitions). Duhamel/Radford I still look at carefully, because last season they also had a really strong SCI and it went downhill from there. Just feel like their programs this year are not bringing anything new (well obviously, when one is recycled). James/Cipres' programs also look like replicas of what they did last year (which makes sense, because it brought them success, but is a bit disappointing). I wonder if she'll land that quad throw this season? Because she seems to be double footing the fully rotated one just like she did one year ago. Speaking of what, SO MANY teams are doing quad throws? I am really interested in this, to see whether it is landed or scrapped.

Honestly, in dance, no one should come 30 points or less in the range of Tessa and Scott. Because they are giving the term GOAT a run for its money, and I honestly have no words to describe how I feel about them. Every littlest nuance, from turns and steps and speed, to interpretation and chemistry and musicality is out of this world. I might be a little biased, but I've shown their programs to completely non-skating people, some random, some professional dancers, and they all said the same thing. I am adding the turns bit from myself because oh my gosh nobody will ever have cleaner turns. They can do a three-step and it'll cover the whole width and half the length of an Olympic sized rink? PC are nowhere near them and everything is unfair and sad. I mostly hate the part about their "artistry" because she is literally making so many faces and it's pretty disgusting to me that people have the gut to call that good interpretation. It's very novice-like to me. Also, Papadakis should learn to straighten her knees. And also x2, what on earth is that sd lift?!! It looks so awkward and easy and it's not even that musical and makes me want to rip my hair out when I see their scores. Their SD makes me cringe so hard (especially the attempts at artificial chemistry) and their FD puts me to sleep. I will never get them. I was a little surprised with 2nd and 3rd place score at SCI. Hubbell/Donohue look so strong technically and constantly improving. I think if clean, they can be real challengers for the bronze. I want to see Weaver/Poje skate abroad to see how they're scored. I like their SD, but Je Suis Malade just doesn't do me anything and I wish they'd stuck with Spartacus because I felt like I was going to love that program as the season progressed (but it could be my bias against the music, they're beautiful skaters). Now this is my most unpopular opinion ever, but I love the Shibs. I go weak in the knees for their technical abilities to be honest. Whilst I am disappointed with them doing the same thing (even down to the costumes) for the third year in a row, I think that Paradise is a very Olympic program. The music is highly audience-friendly and they have a great cut. The build up in energy and music during their twizzles is so powerful. I think this program could be (not counting Moulin Rouge in this because bias lol) a fans' favourite and by fans I mean once-in-four-years viewers lol. I also will praise Marina as a choreographer every opportunity I get, because I'm crazy for how she uses every nuance of the music on either the man or the woman. I really really love her creations haha. I expected a different Imagine cut from Chock/Bates but my silver lining is that they left a few lines of John Lennon's voice in it. I like their SD sans the costumes. I am cringing over Bobrova/Soloviev's FD because of the quintessential Russian pantomime choreography, but I love some of their lifts and they're great skaters, so interested to see where Russia's top team plays into this season. Stepanova/Bukin have really grown on me and I loved their FD at Rostelecom. Hawayek/Baker are my babies and I love their Latin and their FD is beautiful. Really interested to see how the American dance nats will play out with all the newly turned seniors and H/B (and the top teams). It's gonna be a popcorn kind of event. Loved Cappellini/Lanotte's programs, can't wait to see them at NHK (add them to the list of skaters I have a soft spot for).

[13eyond13]

Do you have any headcanons about B? Like if B had an older sister what would their relationship be like? Sorry if that's weird but I'd like to think If he had a better support system he wouldn't have done the whole LABB thing

Hi Anon, thank you so much for asking! I love getting headcanonquestions, especially about B.This is such an interestingquestion! I’ve never imagined Beyond as anything but an only childbefore, just because B’s only relatives mentioned in the novel arehis parents. He was seemingly orphaned after their deaths, so you’reright, he likely didn’t have a good support network or other closefamily capable of taking care of him. We were only told a fewvague sentences about B’s past: We were told:

[1]B had a father who was murdered by a mugger.[2] B had a motherwho died in a train crash.[3] B had the shinigami eyes sincebirth, somehow.[4]B knew what the lifespans meant, and knew that he was incapable ofever changing the numbers.

I really do like the idea of Bwith a protective older sister, though, and how that might have changed things for him. I’ll run through how Iimagine this AU might have looked if he did:(this turned out VERY long and very in-depth lol, like approx. 2500 words, and I totally understand if you don’t want to read the whole thing! I’ll put it under a cut here):

B’s BABY YEARS:

B’s sister is seven years older than him, because he was a surprise pregnancy for his parents.

She hates him at first, because she’s so used to being an only child, but he’s actually a very pleasant baby – quiet and alert and cheerful, doesn’t cry much.

His sister still hates him until he’s about two. She sometimes stands over his crib whispering mean things to him, but he just gazes up at her adoringly and smiles and coos at her until she feels very guilty about it, and goes away again.

B’s TODDLER YEARS:

 B follows his big sister everywhere as soon as he can walk. He is very affectionate, always asking to be picked up and carried around. He snuggles into her neck and plays with her hair, and calls her a funny bungled version of her name, because he has trouble pronouncing his R’s. This melts her heart pretty quickly, and she soon forgets she ever resented him.

B’s sister finds she really likes playing mother with him – she loves getting him dressed and feeding him snacks, and teaching him things whenever he asks – which he does often, because he is a very curious & bright child.

B hits his childhood development milestones very early, and it’s speculated that he’s very intelligent, likely a certifiable genius. His medical checkups reveal nothing unusual about his brain or his eyes, but he always seems much older than he really is – about double his actual age, mentally at least.

B seems to daydream a lot, and to easily be distracted, especially if he’s in large crowds of people. He often says strange things that nobody can make sense of, but his family mostly writes it off as a personality quirk, or a byproduct of his big imagination.

His sister is very interested in nurturing B’s intelligence; their parents are always busy, both working hard to make ends meet, and so when she babysits B she starts teaching him to read and do math. He’s reading grade six level chapter books out loud to her by the time he’s three. B starts asking his family very strange questions soon after he becomes literate.

B’s EARLY CHILDHOOD YEARS:

B starts asking his family about all the floating numbers and the names. He points to the spot just above people’s heads and recites exactly what he sees out loud. He is shocked that nobody else can see them. He knows the name of anyone he sees, whether or not he’s ever met them before. “Why are your numbers so much longer than hers?” he might ask his sister, or “Why does the man’s name say this when we actually call him this?” “Why don’t I have any letters or numbers above my own head when I look in the mirror, or when I look at pictures of me?”

His family is astonished, and somewhat frightened. They quickly realize it is not just the strange imaginative games of a small child. 

They start doing little experiments with him to make sense of it, and find it seems to be related specifically to B’s vision; he has to see a person’s face for it to work. He can point to any person in any photograph and tell you exactly what their name and number is, as long as their features aren’t obscured. The people in photographs only have numbers sometimes, he says; for example, his family shows him a book of old black & white war photographs, and according to B not a single person in it has numbers. He says the numbers are always changing for people he sees everyday, but that their names never do; he says that the numbers only ever get shorter for everyone, not longer. 

B’s parents ask him about their own numbers. They ask about his sister’s, too, but B senses that the whole thing is making his sister feel very anxious. B trusts his sister’s intuition with all his heart and is very loyal to her, so he refuses to divulge any of his family’s numbers to anyone. His sister is very relieved by this, though she doesn’t fully know why yet; she is very proud of B and his unusual gifts, but something about the numbers part of it always gives her a queasy feeling in her stomach.

The whole numbers thing starts making sense for everyone once their elderly landlady dies and they attend her funeral. Four year old B says her numbers are completely gone now when he looks into the casket. He says the numbers are always pretty short for old people, but that hers were the shortest ones he’d ever seen.

B’s LATER CHILDHOOD YEARS:

Once it’s discovered what the numbers actually mean, B’s parents start fighting about it. His mother wants to use B’s abilities to make money, and pressures his father constantly about it.

B’s dad is just obsessed with finding out his own lifespan. He tries to coax it out of B nicely at first, then pressures him with guilt, but B will not budge on the matter, and remains very tight-lipped.

Theirparents start fighting secretly every night when B and his sister arein bed, and it’s always about whether or not they should attempt to make money off B’s talents. They try to be quiet, but the kids still overhear all of it. They could use the money to put both the kids through school and to move to a nicer neighbourhood, his mother says. It would be good for the whole family, if they were smart and careful about who they partnered up with, she says.

B and his sister become inseparable through all of this familial stress. B often asks to sleep in her bed with her when he has bad dreams, and so her pseudo mothering of B continues as he grows. 

B’s sister never asks him about the numbers or the names, and just treats B like a normal person. She tries to focus his mind on other things, and aims to keep him feeling good about his abilities instead of guilty or stressed whenever he mentions them. 

He confides in her during one of their sleepovers that he knows how to mostly work out the lifespan formula automatically now when he looks at people, but that it’s not totally flawless yet; the numbers are very tricky, but he thinks he can narrow the timeline down accurately to within a few weeks of the death date. He does these calculations automatically without meaning to every time he looks at people now, and he hates it. 

He is very sad about finally understanding the lifespans of their parents, and says he wishes more than anything he knew of a way to make people’s numbers get longer instead of shorter.

B’s PRE-TEEN YEARS:

B’s dad loses his job, and starts seriously considering his wife’s insistence that B is their ticket out of their financial struggles. They start seriously scheming about maybe contacting some talent scouts to meet with, secretly after B goes to bed. 

 B’s sister internalizes B’s morbid knowledge about their parents’ lifespans, and starts growing up very quickly as a result. She takes on two part-time jobs while finishing up her final year in high school and saves up a lot of money. 

B’s parents never end up actually monetizing his talents, but they do end up divorcing due to the constant fighting.

B’s sister moves out on her own as soon as she turns 18, into a crappy two bedroom apartment in the city near her work.

B’s parents both die soon after, within a year and a half of each other. It’s a very rough time for B and his sister, as they loved their parents dearly in spite of their flaws and have no other living family. Their parents left them with some debt, but B and his sister are each other’s emotional support all throughout the grieving, and manage to stay strong all throughout.

B’s TEEN YEARS:

B’s sister becomes his legal guardian, and he moves into her spare room. They happily stop talking about his strange abilities altogether.

They make a pretty good team when it comes to splitting the domestic duties. He loves to clean and does it for fun, so the place is always absolutely spotless. 

B’s sister is generally an awful cook, but she knows how to make a mean sandwich, and she always keeps the place cozy and smelling nice by burning incense, and furnishing the rooms with the perfectly good things she finds thrifting. She has a real knack for interior design, and plans on maybe pursuing it someday, once B is finished high school and able to better financially contribute to the household.

When B is about fifteen years old, his sister notices that he’s never once shown an interest in girls. He also is very curious about her morning routine, and watches how she gets ready for work very closely. She never lets on that she notices this, but she starts casually narrating the steps she takes to apply her makeup and do her hair.

One day, B’s sister finds some of her foundation and eyeliner missing. It’s replaced again the next day, and neither of them say a word about it.

B is consistently the top student in his high school in all grades. He’s generally well-liked, though very shy, and doesn’t have many friends. His sister senses he’s afraid of getting attached to people because of his eyes, and feels sorry for him. She encourages him to join some sort of extracurricular program, saying he’d definitely have a better chance of getting into his dream schools if he was more involved.

B joins the drama club at school, and it helps him come out of his shell socially. At first he just volunteers as a stage hand, helping the actors with their costumes and their stage makeup, but eventually he works up the courage to audition for a play, too. He is a natural, and gets the lead part. B’s sister tries to help him practice his lines when she gets home from work, but she’s often too tired. She suggests that maybe he could invite some of the other cast members over to practice sometime, instead.

B invites only one other cast member over to practice; a very cute guy with long blond hair, leather pants, and a rosary around his neck. This guy seems to have been under the impression that there were other people coming too, and looks very uncomfortable about the whole situation. B’s sister feels the awkward vibes between them immediately and wants nothing more than to makes herself scarce, but she feels too bad for the guy to leave. She hangs around all night despite B’s pointed glares, and makes a pot of mushy, overcooked spaghetti for them all to share. The cute blond guy chokes it down politely and leaves as soon as he can, saying he just remembered he needs to go pick up his best friend Matt from work.

B’s school play goes very well, and the student newspaper reports his performance as the stand-out highlight of the whole thing. B tells his sister that maybe he’d prefer to move to Hollywood someday and pursue acting. She’s torn between encouraging him to follow his less practical dreams, and wishing he’d make something of his incredible smarts and aim for an ivy league school, instead. She decides to hold her tongue and let him decide on his own.

Eventually, B’s sister gets a nice boyfriend named Stephan Gevanni, and he moves in with them after a few months. He’s a sweetheart, and a very good cook, and he fills that hole in their home nicely by making delicious suppers every night. B is very blushingly awkward around Stephan, and hides in his room all the time, writing in his diary, obsessively reading manga, and listening to dramatic movie soundtracks on repeat. He gradually stops being embarrassed about his interest in makeup, as his time as a stage hand helps him feel more comfortable about it. Soon he’s wearing subtle eyeliner and foundation every day, and it looks very good on him. That cute blond guy he invited over even asked B for tips on how he pulls it off so well, he says with pride.

At some point, B comes home from school saying he’s just had the oddest day at school. He was pulled out of class all day for some very cryptic testing, which he was told was a standardized government thing. B didn’t believe for one minute that it was, but he couldn’t make sense of what else it could be, either. He said the test was the hardest thing he’d ever taken in his life, but that he had a lot of fun with it, too.

Two weeks later, B gets an elegantly embossed letter in the mail. He’s passed the cryptic testing with flying colours, and is one of the elite few finalists being invited to meet with a man who runs some of the most prestigious private schools in the country. The one they think B would make the best fit for is called Wammy’s House in England, which they would allow him to attend on full scholarship, no questions asked. B reads the letter out loud to his sister and Stephan over dinner with shaking hands, though he claims to find it silly and acts like he doesn’t care at all.

B’s sister thoroughly researches this school for the gifted, and finds she can figure out very little about it outside of the fact that it indeed exists. She’s extremely proud of B for being selected as a candidate, but her sharp intuition is giving her a very nasty feeling about it, nonetheless. She chooses to hold her tongue and see what B will choose, deciding she will whole-heartedly support his choice either way.

B decides after a lot of agonizing to politely reject the offer from the mysterious school, saying he’s finally feeling at home in his own skin for the first time in his life, and would miss his new friends at school too much. He said he needs some more time to figure himself out, first, no matter how flattering the school’s offer is. His sister breathes a secret sigh of relief, and she and Stephan makes B a lovely cake with strawberry filling for dessert that night, because they knows it’s his very favourite.

[csbooth12-blog]

Patient training

Whether it's waiting for a good time to make a move or coming back from an injury, patience is most certainly a virtue of any good bike racer. Unfortunately, my patience leaves something to be desired.

When I explained to Hannah that I would be writing my next blog on the importance of patience she challenged me - "why are you doing that?" she said "You can't even wait for chips to finish in the oven". She makes a good point, I can't. For some reason beyond my understanding, I'd rather eat slightly raw bits of potato now than wait for them to turn into delicious golden brown chips in 5 mins time. It's the same with a lot of things.

In reflection, my past experience in sport is littered with errors in patience. I was too impatient to work on my flexibility when I was a rower and overtrained on the ergo instead - this later contributed to a serious back injury. I felt that as a 20 year old late starter, I needed to make up for lost time quickly. In my early bike races, I was so impatient to prove I was a strong rider that I would just ride solo off the front and as you would expect, I'd blow up and be caught. I did this a number of times. Looking back, I shake my head and wonder what the hell I was thinking but the truth is I'm still making impatient mistakes now, particularly in relation to my training.

Last season, I did finally learn how to choose a move to follow or how to wait for a good time to attack. This gave me a good level of success as I got into a number of decisive moves. Yet still my impatience would shine through every week in training. I recall my 2nd to last race of the year - the Bob Swailes road race at Old Hutton. I really wanted to do well after puncturing the week before but due to work, I missed 3 days of training on the week running up. The day before the race I planned to do 1 hour easy but I felt uneasy about missing training. I knew it would do no good but I felt good and wanted to make the most of this training session. That 1 hour easy turned into 3 hours with an average speed of over 20mph. My strava ride title called it 'steady three' but I knew I'd over done it. Despite feeling rubbish i remained confident in my ability and the race started well. I made an early break with Ben Barlow and we were joined by one other. Almost inevitably, my legs failed on lap 4 of 6 and the other two went on to take 1st and 2nd. I wondered what could have been if I had just been patient and stuck to the training plan.

It's now January, l am in good shape. My recent FTP test was decent with an average of 414 watts for 20 mins (see pic below). However, this is making me feel so impatient to race that I am pushing as hard as I can in training. I am chomping at the bit to get going but I know I've still got two months until my season starts and it's a long season. I know that I am at risk of over training or 'peaking' too soon. Certainly, looking at my training diary, if I was a rider I was coaching I'd tell myself to back off a bit but it's not that easy to change emotions and behaviour. My emotions want me to make the most of every day and every effort in my training. My head is telling me that I am being impatient or perhaps even greedy. I want all the fitness I can get and I want it all right now but the key to progress is consistent training and this comes with patience. Greedy riders will likely lose more than they gain over the course of a season as pushing too far beyond current physiological limits causes the body to burnout, get sick or get injured. Being patient allows the body to fully adapt and grow stronger. This takes time. It can't be rushed. I just need to adhere to my own advice.

I am trying to stay relaxed and my patience has improved building up to this season. I allow myself to have a full day off the bike and a steady ride once a week but I find those days hard mentally even when as a coach myself I know exactly how important recovery is for adaptations to occur. I am also been more patient with my diet, allowing myself treats whilst steadily bringing my weight down by eating in moderation. This is particularly difficult for me as my mindset is fixed on all or nothing extremes. I either eat as much as I can or if im trying to lose weight I eat next to nothing. More on my diet some other time.

My patience levels are a work in progress but as with most things, I believe it is something I can improve by challenging what I know and reflecting on how I feel and behave (cognitive dissonance). Patience is a mental battle and I hope I will win the war over the course of next season. Ive got big objectives and i believe that patience is the key to my success.