#if i'd done that at his age they wouldn't have let it last 5 minutes and i'd have been grounded

[diagonal-queen]

thungo thursday double feature??

hey gang i missed last week's ep because i was lazy. i'm posting them both one right after the other since they were too long as one combined post lol

ep 5

i wonder if the decay like. knows poe exists or that his ability is like allowing the entire agency to hide anywhere they want. like his ability is very similar to lucy's. maybe he'll trap fukuchi in a novel and kill him (imagine the one to defeat fukuchi being fucking POE i'd cry tears of euphoria)

wait we didnt get the part where tanizaki and kenji crawled out from under the table?? we were SCAMMED

i love that tanizaki and atsushi are visibly sweating and nervous while listening to ranpo while kyouka and kenji are just like •_•

'the armies can't tell who is and isnt a vampire' HAVE THEY TRIED IDK LOOKING AT THEM THOSE VAMPIRES ARE UGLY AS SHIT I FEEL LIKE I WOULD NOTICE IF ONE OF MY COWORKERS BECAME SUPER UGLY OUT OF NOWHERE

yeah actually tanizaki + ranpo have a point why DIDNT they destroy one order. like why didnt they just. chuck a shot put ball at it and be done with it lmao it really could have been that easy

ranpo getting the pretty treatment this ep (he's already a pretty boy the anime has just decided to fully embrace his beauty now so he's transcended to an ethereal being of pretty)

cannot believe a group of people aged like 10 - 26 (excluding fukuzawa) are the ones who have to save the world. im sure the boomers in their universe will still find a way to complain about them and thats the saddest part of all

AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA AYA

virgin page: literally alters reality so that nobody believes in the agency's innocence chad aya: *unaffected*

not jouno just fucking knocking aya to the ground T-T

i love her. jouno is literally being like 'i will brutally murder you and everyone you care for' and this ten year old girl is like 'fuck you + L + ratio + skill issue + nobody asked'

w tecchou what would jouno do without you bby

LMAO BRAM'S FACE ◓-◓ also why is jouno reacting surprised?? how did you hear him bro. did you hear the flutter of his babygirl eyelashes or some shit. i KNOW bram is physically heartless he can't rely on a heartbeat this time around

fukichi: will u be angel jouno: BUT do i get to bdsm fukuchi: ye jouno: SIGN ME UP

wait the vampires can talk???? akutagawa just said 'space time continue um' or whatever the fuck but i thought he was supposed to be like a mindless drone even if he is doing what bram wants i didnt think they could talk???? whatt

stop why is vamp akutagawa so fucking ugly i hate this reality

jouno be like 'ok so this physically unkillable man is gonna take over the world. shit what do i do. uhh ok let's entrust the fate of the world to this ten year old girl i just found'

NOT THAT SHOT OF FUKUCHI TURNING AFTER THE FLASH LMAOOAOAOAOAOAOAOA THATS ALMOST AS BAD AS THAT ONE JOUNO TURTLE SMILE (you guys know the one)

yooo there IS an ending this season. i miss sunny and peaceful yokohama T-T season one feels

oh boy what an adventure!! what will dia see next?? wouldn't it be so silly if she read one subtitle and spent the next ten minutes laughing so hard she almost threw up?? that would be CRAZY haha it definitely didnt happen. or did it?? stick around for ep 6 of thungo thursdays

[thetreeturnedoff]

i cry every time i'm on my period and i have to shower with the lights off so i don't see my body and i'm terrified of eating anything cause i don't want my chest to get any bigger and i've contemplated suicide before because of my dysphoria and yet somehow my parents think it might be better for me to not let me transition

like, they think me starting on testosterone could give me cancer, as if i'm the first person to ever transition. and they said they'd talk to a doctor to find out if it's safe, but when i asked if they'd made the appointment they laughed and said they wanted to talk to a counselor?? for some reason??? before deciding if it'd even be worth it to go find info about all this but i don't think they've even looked at counselors yet despite it being a few weeks and i just. and they refuse to use my name and get pissy when they're corrected for using the wrong pronouns but somehow they still think they have the right to say they support me and "love their trans child"

[buttercream-squad-imagines]

Tinder in Real Life

Pairings: Harry Lewis x fem!Reader, Sidemen x platonic!Reader Word Count: 2k Warnings: Language some people may find offensive, sexual themes, recycled lines from Sidemen Tinder in Real Life because I'm not at all creative Request: Hey! Could you do reader x Harry imagine where the sidemen do a collab video with the reader who is also a big youtuber and Harrys celebrity crush. And during the video the reader is very flirty, leaving Harry a flustered mess when the flirting is directed towards him, but very jealous when its with any other sidemen.

The Sidemen were one of the biggest groups on YouTube and one that you were very familiar with. At the age of 23, you were a fair bit younger than some of its oldest members but yet you had a close relationship with JJ, whom you had met through YouTube.

You had started your channel when you were 17, just under four years ago, making makeup videos, which was a passion of yours when you were younger. Not that you were any good at it back then. Those videos quickly become unlisted when your channel started blowing up in late 2016, now nearing 20 million at the present time.

It wasn't long before you expanded your horizons and had started making different sorts of videos, including vlogs of your everyday life - which wasn't and still isn't that exciting in your opinion - and those where you just had a laugh, attempting to do stupid challenges that were so popular back then. It was those, however, that grew your channel. Your fans seemed to love them and so you gradually started to make more.

As your small channel began to grow significantly, it caught the attention of KSI, a member of the Sidemen, who reached out to you to for a collab. You were ecstatic. You couldn't believe it at the time, why would someone like KSI with 20 million subscribers want to collaborate with you? By that time, you couldn't exactly call yourself a small channel anymore, with almost 5 million subscribers but it still didn't make any sense to you.

You and JJ quickly bonded after filming together. You had a very similar sense of humour and interests. As the years went, the older boy became one of your best friends, the nature of your relationship being very teasing and flirtatious but the both of you knew it was a joke. It was just the way you both were.

Though despite having known him for nearing 3 years now, you had never met the rest of the Sidemen, with the exception of Simon, as he lived with JJ. Which is why when he texted asking you to collaborate with the Sidemen, you couldn't turn the offer down. You were a fan of the group and the content they were producing. You thought the videos that they made were exceptional, that they were pushing the envelope of the standard of content on YouTube and often found yourself excited for new videos.

He had explained that they were filming another of their 'Tinder in real life' but a YouTuber version with the likes of BambinoBecky and ChiWithAC. You were so excited. You were finally going to meet the rest of JJ's friends and you had the opportunity to be a part of a Sidemen Sunday.

You arrived at the studio the boys were filming at in the afternoon, finding and greeting JJ before he introduced you to the other sidemen in addition to Lux, Freezy and Stephen.

"And you've already met Simon." He finished.

"Yeah. Nice to finally meet you all. JJ tells me a lot about you guys." You laughed.

"Because that's assuring." Ethan pointed out with a chuckle, the other boys letting out agreements.

"Not all bad, I promise." You teased, winking at him. Ethan felt the blood rushing to his face, immediately becoming flustered and stumbling over his words. You found that you often had that effect on people as you could be very direct and flirtatious even when you didn't mean it. To you it was just friendly banter.

"Geez Y/N, stop flirting with people you met literally five minutes ago." JJ rolled his eyes.

"You sound a bit jealous, Jide." You smirked, a teasing grin spread across your face.

"Nah, allow it." There were eruptions of laughter around the room, coming from the boys. You were quick to notice Harry standing out of the way and was significantly quieter than the others, with what seemed to be a forced smile on his face.

Harry was in his own head, barely paying attention to what was going on around him. When JJ had told him that you were going to be in the next Sidemen video, he panicked. You were an accomplished YouTuber who he was quite fond of to say the least. Well, that would be an understatement, he had a fairly large crush on you. A crush that no one but Freezy and Lux knew about.

He knew that JJ had been friends with you for some time now but never considered the possibility of even meeting you. His anxiety acted as a barrier to even the thought of it. But he was currently in the same room as you and had said nothing more than a short 'hello'. He longed to have the confidence Ethan had to speak to you, even more so for you to look at him the way you were.

Already you were flirting with JJ and Ethan, something that caused a pit to form at the bottom of his stomach. He wouldn't admit it, but he could slowly feel the jealousy forming. Not that he had anything to be jealous about in the first place!

You continued to speak with the boys as you got your mic set up, telling them stories you were sure would embarrass JJ.

"Y/N, stop." The older boy whined. He could be like a child sometimes, but it was one of his more endearing qualities. He simply wouldn't be JJ if he wasn't.

"No, carry on." Simon laughed.

"Oh, don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from." You teased.

"I think it's time we started, don't you think?" Harry grumbled.

"Right." You smiled at the boy, who's cheeks became tinted red. He ducked to hide his face and walked around to stand in the line, hiding himself in the middle.

"Hi, I'm Y/N, I'm 23 and I'm from Y/H/T." You spoke to the camera once you were given the go ahead.

"I'm Simon, I'm 28. I like to practice safe sex."

"Always a good start."

"I could tie you to the bed, so you don't fall off." He finished with a giggle. You acted like you were pondering it for a moment before letting out a laugh and swiping right.

"I'm down for that." You teased. The boys all let out rumbles of laughter

"Hi, I'm Ethan, I'm 26 and kiss me if I'm wrong, but you're gonna swipe right."

"What would you rather?" You joked. Ethan shrugged his shoulders and walked closer to the board, sticking his head through with his lips puckered, eliciting a cry of protest from Harry that this wasn't allowed. You laughed and made an over exaggerated motion to swipe to the right, causing him to pout playfully but walked over to the right anyway.

"Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 28. KSI has a top ten single, but you're the only hot single I can see."

"Wow, that was smooth!" You said with a grin. "Definite yes from me."

"I'm Callum, I'm 26. Are you into fitness?" Freezy asked.

"Can't say I am." You replied, unsure of what turn this could take.

"How about you fitness dick in your mouth?"

"I wouldn't get too excited babes, I gag on my toothbrush." You laughed. "We could try though."

You swiped right on him, chuckling as you watched him let out a yes before joining Simon, Ethan, and Josh. You frowned slightly, a crease forming between your brows as you saw Harry whisper something furiously at his friend but ultimately got distracted by Vik stepping up to go next.

"I'm Vik, I'm 25. My ex-girlfriend always said I'd never do better than her, wanna prove her right?" You could hear the cries of the boys in the background, some scolding him, others laughing.

"Man actually said prove her right. Not wrong." JJ shrieked with a shocked look on his face, holding his head with his hands.

"You need to find someone for that." You snarked, swiping left on the boy, who shrugged and walked off.

"Damn! You got told!" Lux cackled.

"Uh hi. I'm Harry. I'm uh 25, no I'm not I'm 24." He stumbled. "Are you sure you're a muggle? Because that ass is magical."

"You should see how magical it can be." You spoke before cringing at yourself and laughing, swiping right to avoid a reply. The boy's face grew a bright shade of red, closely resembling the colour of a tomato.

"Geez, is that an offer?!" Freezy yelled from the right side. You laughed, observing how Harry whispered furiously to the boy to stop and winked at him once he had could see. Your laughter only increased as you watched JJ step up.

"I'm JJ. I'm 28 and are you a raisin? Cause you're raising my dick." The boy in question stood in front of you so confidently, hands clasped together in front of him so seriously that you just lost it. By the time you composed yourself, there were tears almost falling from your eyes.

"A* for effort." You laughed, swiping right eliciting a cry of success.

You had wrapped up filming your segment of the video, which conveniently was the last of the day. You found JJ who you spoke to whilst the other boys were otherwise occupied talking to each other.

"Cheers for coming, Y/N/N. You've been great."

"Anything for you." You joked.

"Don't tempt me." He laughed. You could feel eyes on you, eyes that were burning into your side. You turned your head to see Harry staring you and JJ down before looking away after being caught in the act, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"Does Harry not like me or something?" You whispered to JJ, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Not that I know of." He frowned looking at the younger boy. "He can be a bit awkward at times and gets flustered a lot."

"Right." You agreed. You excused yourself before sauntering up to the boy in question, calling his name to snap him out of the daze he appeared to be in.

"Oh, um hey Y/N." He stumbled.

"Hi." You smiled gently. "I uh, I was just wondering, do you... have I done something to offend you?"

"Offend me? Why, uh, why would you think that?" He rambled.

"It's just... it's nothing, it's probably just me overthinking things." You waved it off, feeling like a complete idiot.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I don't like you. I don't not like you, in fact I really like you! Oh, um I mean I like you, you're very pretty." The boy couldn't stop rambling which made you laugh. "No, wait."

"You think I'm pretty?" You blushed interrupting him. Harry felt his mouth go dry, not being able to get anything coherent to come out. "Well, Harry, I really like you too."

"What?" His eyebrows shot up so far it was almost comical. "Really? So, you don't like the other guys?"

"What? No." You laughed. "That's absurd. Why would you think that?"

"You seemed very..." The boy trailed off, not wanting to offend you after you had admitted to liking him.

"Flirty?" You finished, causing him to nod. "I'm like that with everyone, I don't mean to be half the time."

"Oh."

"Well, how about you give me your phone number and when you finally grow a pair, you can ask me out?" Your confidence levels had shot up spontaneously.

"Uh, sure." His cheeks had become a dark shade of red as he passed his phone to you so you could put your number in. You kept looking up at him as you typed, putting your name under 'Y/N x' in his contacts before handing it back to him.

"Y/N! Come on! We're going to Nando's!" JJ called from the other side of the room.

"Call me." You winked. Your bottom lip was caught between your teeth and was currently the only thing from stopping the wide grin from spreading across your face. A grin that hadn't disappeared from your face for the rest of the day, much to the curiosity of JJ, who was disappointed when you refused to tell him why, or more appropriately who, had put the smile on your face.

[laskyy]

Hey guys! So today (October 6th) is my bestie's (@newkyumilk) bday! And since it's already the 7th of October (Jiung's bday) in korea I decided to post this imagine as a present for my bestie and as a birthday special to Jiung! I really hope you enjoy this 💖💖💖

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Memories

Tw: Kissing, crying, mentions of trains (let me know if I missed something)

Genre: fluff

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Friends come and go, was what everyone always said and you didn't really believe them until you completely lost touch with your childhood best friend, Jiung.

You and Jiung had met when you were both only 5, your parents were good friends so it was only natural for you two to hang out when they hung out.

Jiung had seen all of your awkward phases, and he stuck with you through all of them, well that is until he moved cities without even telling you and that always made you think if you did something wrong or if he didn't want to hurt you.

That was 3 years ago, now you were a college student and you were very focused on your future, wanting to excell so you could have the life you always wanted.

You were very tired from all of the assignements, but you could finally rest as your college would give students a small two week break, and honestly it was just what you needed to relax.

You and your parents had planned to visit some friends in another city, but you didn't bother asking who they were, you just wanted a little get away.

"Honey, do you have everything packed?" Your mom asked as you went down the stairs of your house into the living room where your parents were waiting.

"Yes, I double checked everything!" You said as you reached the living room and sighed.

"You're gonna love these few days I promise!" Your dad said as opened the door for you and your mom.

"I'm sure I will, I really need to rest! I hope your friends are calm people!" But instead of answering, your parents just stared at each other with knowing smiles as they exited your house and locked the door.

You guys headed for the train station and in your mind was only the thought of how th house was gonna be and who were the friends you were gonna be visiting.

All those thought came to a halt when your mom called you to get on the train as it had already arrived.

You got on the train and let your mind run wild. Train rides brought you a certain nostalgia, because you used to ride the train with your childhood bestriend Jiung all the time.

But well, now that he wasn't here you couldn't hope for it to happen again. And besides that he just left you with no trace.

"Honey, hey, sorry to interrupt your thought, but I just wanted to tell you that we're almost there!" Your dad said as he gave you a small smile.

"Ok dad, thanks for telling me." You answered as you looked out the window and saw a field of flower. More specifically one that reminded you of your childhood with Jiung.

Flashback

You and Jiung were 10 years old and were just playing hide and seek in a field of flowers, somewhere you'd go to after school every friday.

"I'm coming!" Jiung said as he tried to look for you as you were hidden behind a bush. You were hoping he'd take longer finding you but he found you with no time.

"Got you!" He said as he laughed cutely and you looked at him laughing as well. "How are you so good at this?" You asked as you both sat down in the grass.

"I played a lot with my cousin last summer, so you better watch out." He said as he tried to look scary, but you just laughed.

You stood there looking at the field when you spotted a beautiful sunflower. "Look Jiung, how beautiful is that?" "It's very pretty! Wait a little bit!" He said as he stood up and disappeared for a few minutes, and when you were about to look for him he appeared with a flower crown made of sunflower and put it on top of your head. "There, now the flower is wearing flowers!" Jiung said as he giggled and booped your nose.

End of flashback

You were already tearing up at the sweet memory when you mom tapped your shoulder for you to exit the train with your parents.

This place looked oddly familiar, but you couldn't wrap your head around where you've seen it, so you decided to wait until you reached the house you were staying at to try and ask someone.

You arrived at the house and as soon as your parents knocked the door opened revealing a couple around your parents' age who welcomed you sweetly.

"And you must be their Child! You're so pretty!" The lady said as she pulled you in a hug.

"I'm sure you'd love to meet my son! He's around your age! TAEYANG!" She yelled with full force. And Taeyang? You were sure you knew someone named like that, but who?

The boy came down stairs and immediately recognized you as he hugged you and told his and your parents that he was going with you to his room.

"Hey! You remember me right? I'm Taeyang, Jiung's cousin!" So that's why you knew him.

"Oh! I do remember you! How are you? I haven't seen you in so long!" You said as you tried to get the conversation going.

"I'm great! Even better now that I'm seeing you! You've grown!" He said with a smile. You both kept talking for a while until he mention Jiung.

"So you're probably wondering why Jiung hasn't beeb talking to you or why he didn't tell you anything about the reason he was moving right?" He asked as he looked at you with his doe eyes.

"Well, yeah, but he probably wanted to cut me off no?" You asked as if it was obvious.

"Do you really think he'd do that? No, he's not like that, he didn't tell you anything, because he knew he wouldn't be strong enough to not break down when he saw you! It wasn't his best decision, but well it's done right?" He said with a conforting smile.

"I appreciate the information Tae, but why are you telling me all of this?" You asked as you were genuinely curious about this random outburst about his cousin.

"Well, I knew you were coming and I also knew about his situation, so I may or may not have invited him over for you guys to talk." He said so fast that if you weren't so invested in this you wouldn't have caught a word he said.

"You what? I haven't talked to him in over 3 years! Tae it's going to be awkward!" You said sounding desperate.

"Calm down! Everything is going to go well! And he hasn't changed! He's still the same as he was when he lived near you! The only difference is that he lives near me now!" Taeyang said in hopes to comfort you.

A few hours had passed and you heard the doorbell ring.

"Oh my god, Tae it's him!" You said as you nervously paced around the room.

"Calm down things are going to go well I promise! And he's gonna come up stairs. If you need anything shout, I'm going to be in the living room!" Tae said as he exited the room to invite Jiung inside.

You were a nervous wreck, but you were still curious about how Jiung would look now, probably more mature was your guess, and as he entered the room you realized your guess was absolutely right.

"Y/n" Jiung said as he ran in your direction and picked you up in his arms. You were so overwhelmed you started crying and you didn't miss the fact that Jiung also shed a few tears of his own.

"I missed you so much!" Jiung said as he let you down on the floor to look at you.

"I missed you too, but why did you avoid me? Why did you hide everything from me?" Although Taeyang had already given you the answer you still wanted to hear the answer from him.

"I was stupid and I didn't tell you because I knew that if I told you I wouldn't be strong enough to actually move, it would be harder so I thought it would be the best for the both of us, But I was so wrong! I missed you everyday!" He said with glossy eyes.

"Oh Jiung I missed you too!" You said as you teared up again and wrapped you arms around him.

When you guys both calmed down you went to the living room where Taeyang was staying.

"So are you guys ok? Are you friends again? Something more?" Taeyang asked as he said the last part softly so only Jiung would hear.

"Yes we're good now! But Me and Y/n are going for a walk, we'll be back before dinner." Jiung announced as you both went out of the door.

You were just catching up while walking until Jiung stopped at the flower field you'd seen while in the train.

"Wanna know something? I came here everytime I missed you badly, because this flower field really looks like the one next to your house!" Jiung admitted as he mitioned for you to come with him.

"Actually, when I was in train I saw this field through the window and I thought back to us playing hide and seek and that one time you made that flower crown for me." You said shyly as you weren't playing attention to Jiung's actions, but when you saw him again you noticed him walking towards you with a sunflower crown.

"Jiung, that's so cute!" You said as he put it on your head the same way he did when you were kids.

"Now the flower is wearing flowers!" He said just like before as he booped you nose.

"Oh my god, I miss when we were kids!" You said as Jiung sat down next to you.

"Yeah, I also miss living next to you! I was so sad my mom got a promotion, I just wanted to live near you!" He said as he scooted closer to you.

"Maybe in the future we'll be able to live close!" You said as the both of you moved backwards to rest your backs against a tree.

"Yeah maybe!" Jiung said as he gave you a knowing smile.

"Ok, I've been keeping this in for like 5 years so I need to let it out!" Jiung exclaimed.

"Go ahead Ji!" You said calmly.

"I like you, well, that's a lie. I love you in a romantic way. And honestly it's okay if you don't feel the same I just needed to tell you!" Jiung said as he was now blushing furiously and you think you were too.

"I actually love you too Jiung. I have since a few years now. And when you left I was so heartbroken, because I thought I'd never see you again." You confessed while looking straight in his eyes.

"But now I'm here and we could do something about these feelings, that is if you want to of course." He said shyly.

"I'd love to, but we're gonna have to do a long distance relationship." You said sadly.

"And what if I tell you we don't?" He said in a questioning way.

"What do you mean? We live quite far from each other." You said while confusion was written all over your face.

"I'm moving again! My mom found a stable job back in your city! We're gonna be able to meet everyday almost all the time!" He said and as he finished his sentence you threw yourself in his arms.

"Jiung that's literally the best thing you could've told me! I love you so much!" You said as you hugged him tighter and felt him kiss your head gently.

"I love you too, so much, you have no idea." He said as he looked deep in your eyes, grabbed your cheek gently and leaned in to kiss you, but before he could reach your lips he lifted his eyebrows as a way to ask for permission to which you granted by nodding and Jiung then kissed you softly.

You guys broke apart after a few seconds to make eye contact and you smiled sweetly at each other, a smile that showed your feelings for one another completely.

"I love you." You said as you smiled at Jiung.

"I love you too." Jiung said as he smiled and leaned in to kiss you again.

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I hope you guys enjoyed it! Specially my bestie, my first Tumblr friend @newkyumilk! Everyone go wish her a happy birthday! And In Korea it's already Jiung day, so happy birthday to our hardworking Jiung 💖💖💖

Have a great day/afternoon/night! I love you 💖💖💖

[dormarunt]

Rafael (presumably) de Fonollosa - human male, subspecies "stereotypical nerd", aged 31 according to the Money Heist fandom wiki, electrical engineer with a post-graduate degree in cybersecurity.

Given the fucky timelines in this show, I'm going to assume that he's 31 years old in 2019, when the Gold heist happens, which means he was born in 1988, when his father (born 07/04/75 according to his police file) was 13. So okay let's all assume that Andres changed his identity entirely, that's why they find nothing about Sergio in part 1 when the police finds his file - Andres chose a new name and, like the vain man he is, he chose to make himself younger too. Because why the hell not, amirite?

So we meet Rafael de Fonollosa some vague time after Andres and Martin have their time in that monastery (which was around 2014), when he meets his father and his beautiful wife Tatiana in Copenhagen.

The guy was a mystery to the entire fandom ever since Pedro shared that image of them two in Copenhagen. The fandom was abuzz with speculations of him being his son (later kinda confirmed when Pedro spoiled the entire subplot that Rafael sleeps with Tatiana in a painting he shared on Insta; love him, he's flawless).

So we meet Rafael. Who, throughout the show, seems to have the spine of an overcooked spaghetti strand. Homeboy just does what the plot needs him to do, and he does it with a bumbling laughter like the stereotypical nerd that he so clearly is (he has glasses and wears headphones - see? nerd. I, too, have glasses, wear headphones all the time and am an IT nerd; trust me, he's legit)

First thing he tells his father is - "I'm not going to rob with you in my life, dad!" and just a few short scenes later there he is, robbing with his dad.

Andres asks him, "Do you want to sleep with my wife?" To which he bumbles a, "If things were different--" only to see him, a few short episodes later, admitting to his dad that he "couldn't help it" and has been indeed sleeping with his wife for thee whole weeks.

Last episode, we have Tatiana basically speak for him and say that they won't give the gold back (love her, you go queen, you were done so dirty but hey, you got a total of what, 10 lines and an upskirt shot in part 5?) but then, a slip of a paper and some nostalgia later, Rafael decides, aaah, fuck it. It's suddenly a ~family matter, we will give Sergio the gold back! Tatiana isn't sure that Sergio will give them half of the gold back (and I mean, if I were Sergio I wouldn't, plus I'd send him to his room and ground him for like, a month) but Rafael is suddenly all about family - his super recent stealing from his family notwithstanding.

So yes, this is Rafael. A guy who's been building his life to be an honest cybersecurity expert (think "anti-hacker") but then he meets his absent father and immediately accepts the way he's still horrible with him. I'm specifically referring to the "I've forgiven you for being born" line, which should have made him go, "wow, fuck you" and leave. But he doesn't leave. Not only that, but he completely folds on his idea to live an honest, law-abiding life after-- his dad explains to him the Viking Gold Heist? Whatever, Andres de Fonollosa is charismatic and persuasive I guess.

And then he steals his wife, and steals Sergio's gold, but gives half of it back and I wonder - had Andres asked nicely and mentioned family a bit more, would he have folded on Tatiana too?

And, let's not forget - his last and most important contribution to the show was a last-minute addition - Alex Pina only thought to link the fake Viking Gold plot to the main plot at the very last second, which means-- We were only supposed to see Rafael entering Andres' life, doing a heist with him (that we know of, there might have been more off-screen), then stealing his wife? So the entire "purpose" of Rafael was to explain why Andres divorced Tatiana, just because in season 1 Berlin says he's been divorced five times and in part 3 they make it clear that Tatiana is unlucky no 5? He was there only to close that plotline in the most dramatic way possible (while also coming with a reason for Andres to go to prison, since he was good enough to never have been caught until then or since).

...we're going to see him in the spin-off, aren't we? Since it's unclear for how long the three de Fonollosas have been heisting together (boringly, according to Tatiana).

Maybe we'll find out what he and former Mrs de Fonollosa were doing during the Mint heist, were they just sitting on their bums, sad that they couldn't swoop in at the last second like they ultimately do with the gold one? Was selling Sergio and the team to the police out of the question, while stealing from them is aokay? Anyway, I do not understand Rafael.

[thefirsthogokage]

Time to Hate-Watch Turner and Hooch, Episode 5

Because I am bored. And I hate myself. Of you aren't ok with me hate-watching and commenting, well then this is not the post you are looking for. Please move along.

Ah, yes, reminder of the love triangle they put in a kids copaganda show for the parents. Again. Because reminder: they did that last week.

Ew, bad shaky camera work.

Oh god she was listening to that music as a personal stake out sound track by choice? Like, why?

"You're all hopped up on juice boxes and I don't like it." I did like that line.

Laura is 5 years old.

I do like the theme song.

You know what also is weird about this supposed kids show? The episodes are nearly 50 minutes long. No kid is going to pay attention to that long of an episode.

So much natural lighting and making Hooch very yellow in some scenes and not others.

I'm probably too tired to watch this tonight.

Honestly that poor girl. Such a big crush on a very oblivious dipshit.

Branden is a fucking gift to this show. Again, I am just so glad he kept acting after Power Rangers SPD. Not many former PRs stay in the business, let alone get steady work. I'm really proud of him!

Rain. This show must be filmed in Vancouver. Actually, I vaguely remember hearing it was shot there. ... (Googles)... Haha

I mean, air cold enough mid-day to see their breath + rain had to = Vancouver. I mean I guess Portland too. But either way, California my ass.

Dreary natural lighting. Classic Vancouver. I can't believe anyone could actually think this would look like California.

Having Laura recognize a lot of people so that they could give her information to make her getting the information super easy is certainly a choice... by writers who don't want to work to hard. Then again, I think this is supposed to be a a family friendly show...kind of. Line, this isn't a straight up specific demographic this is targeted towards. They just have done a few things I absolutely would not put in a kids show this day and age. Like, it honestly so bizarre to watch.

I'm not fond of stories like this. Guy is getting married, all aspects of the case have a relation to weddings. It's just too much happenstance in this episode. And I'm tired, I should have very little ability to notice most of the is shit tonight.

Oh god, this would be so painful if I wasn't so sleepy. Like, what the fuck are you doing, Laura. Well, at least this is showing Lyndsy's versatility and expressiveness. My god this is such a different character then Alex on Nikita.

Tired sidenote, my watermelon is very good.

Laura gets up to leave after getting this woman to hang out with her. The woman has to remind her that she doesn't know where she lives. I liked that.

"Thank you for your never-ending aquatic references." Ok, this show does have some good lines.

(This is honestly like kind of watching Lucifer. I hat the show, but occasionally there are so lines that I really like. Though I did stop watching Lucifer because I just hated it too much. I was only watching it out of boredom.)

I am really glad that they have a Native guest star. It's nice to see more Native rep on shows the past couple years.

Messaging: Kids, you gotta stand up for other kids being bullied because you are just as bad as the bullies if you just stand there. I'm really ok with this messaging. Good job, so that I mostly don't like.

I'm sorry, I'm so tired.

"His name was Jean-Luc-" Me: stares at camera in 'Robert Duncan McNeill directed this episode and is the primary Executive Producer on this show.'

For those of you who don't know, RDM was Tom Paris in Star Trek Voyager and a character who's name I can't remember that he also played on Star Trek TNG.

Fun fact, Tom Paris was initially going to be the same character he played on TNG, but something about rights blah blah blah, made that a no-go.

Sorry, back to me hate-watching while tired.

Oh god there are 21 minutes left.

Why is Laura holding a guinea pig? And why does she have a karaoke machine?

Why is Branden's character having a romantic time with his fiance while on a case? Ugh, the unprofessionalism. Like, aren't they only a two hour drive from home? Why is this happening? Do they think of distance like the British? Or people who live in Saint Louis? (Seriously, in Saint Louis some people think 20 minutes is a long drive. Granted, ten minutes is a long drive for me, but the position I have to sit in to drive really aggravates my Interstitial Cystitis (meaning I have to pee so, so bad the whole time I am in the car)).

I want to take this moment to apologize. I am very sorry about the tangents and the personal health and whatnot. But at this point I'm too tired to go bad and delete things or care about what else I'm going to write, so I'm just going to keep going without my filter on. Of you make it through this whole thing with me, bless you you sweet, sweet, probably bored soul.

🎶Ooo Heaven is a place on earth 🎶

Oh god, so much tomato stuff. All over the bathroom. The very white bathroom. Good luck with that...Scott? Is that our main characters name? Scott? I don't care to look it up at th- yeah it's Scott, Laura just said it.

Uh, shouldn't that have been made of metal? Either way, shitty craftsmanship if the dog could break it that easily.

That can't be how you train a bomb sniffing dog.

No way someone who's been a police officer for a few years wouldn't know that there are drugs on literally every bill.

Again, family show why?

Neither of them thought there would be a back door?

This while thing is insane. Not in anyway that I find entertaining. But I'd probably be more pissed if I it was more conscious. You should probably be reading all of my angry sounding things as just very tired and a bit sedate because of the tiredness.

I'm sorry Branden's character was a soldier in combat and he's never been shot? Unless I'm misremembering. But seriously, he doesn't know what getting shot in the vest fells like.

Oh look, the girlfriend fires at vehicles driving towards her too. In the same episode..I hate when things are related like that. Not upper level writing.

Why was the Secret Service also looking for those people? What? That can't possibly be their preview.

(Before I finished the episode, I discovered that for the second time this week, I did not get to the litter box fast enough (as in since this morning) to prevent my cat from moving the liner enough to pee between it and the box. So, at 11pm I had to go clean that out.)

Like this guy wouldn't know that he was copping to extortion by saying that.

God, why are they making this case the dad was working on (stupid arching plot in a family tv show why? For the adults who can tell this show is bad already?) even more complicated? Like, is this going to get Heroes level stupidly complex? Because that shit killed that show. Ok, so it probably won't be that bad...just the kids show equivalent of that bad.

Oh good for you, girl who's name I never learned! Quit the job with the evil boss! Please let her be OH NATALIE! Once again, thank you Laura for saying the name of the character whose name I wasn't sure of. What was I saying... Of yeah, I hope Natalie comes back and wasn't just on one episode. More native characters on TV please!

Oh wait, am I just realizing the girls in the live triangle were both on Glee, or did I remember that in a previous post? I know they were both on Glee from the moment I saw them in this show, but, like, I somehow didn't realize it was a very mini Glee reunion when they were in the same scene?

Wait, where did Scott wash Hooch if it wasn't in his own place the first time? Where was that bathroom? Wait, unless this isn't the bathroom in him home? I was definitely too tired to watch this. That might be saving me on the anger level, but it's certainly making it a bit difficult to keep track of some stuff.

Oh bad edit/consistency moment with the foam on Scott's face. Always hating to me.

Episode over.

Closing Thoughts: This show is still driving me insane with it's not on point demographic aiming and just silliness that isn't really good-silly, more like bad-silly. Also, I'm tired.

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 9/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Sorry for taking so long to upload! I've had a hard week but everything is fine. Here we are - the end! Wanna know something interesting? There was actually going to be more to this story. Like, we were gonna get more flashbacks from when Brie and Juju went to college. There they would meet Tatianna, who was a badass feminist. And she'd be the one to help Brianna with her glow up. But the story was already going on too long and I couldn't fit any of it in.

Also I was going to go down a completely different route for the story. If any of you have actually seen the music video for Gimme Love by Joji, it ends on a more darker tone. And that's how I was gonna do it with this fic as it was based on it. But I just couldn't do it.

So I hoped you guys enjoyed it. I know I didn't get a lot of reads on it, but I'm glad knowing it was recieved by some. Anyway, on with chapter 9!

Major TW's for this chapter: Alcohol, mental health discussion.

2020

It was the day of the pre-party. It was going to be held at my place. I was prepared for possible drunkenness, embarrassing moments, but celebrations of everything we had accomplished. This was something I had worked my ass towards for so long, and it was finally happening.

I smiled, proud that I had finally punched myself in the face (figuratively, of course). I opened my eyes and saw how easy it was to rekindle with Mom. I was scared about seeing her in a few weeks, knowing we'd have to talk about my issues. But I knew now. If I didn't, I would just continue to get worse and worse.

On top of that, the Ed Sheeran problem was over and done with. His team understood fully, and he was set to perform at the launch.

And finally, I would meet Blair again. And it would be different this time. I wouldn't be the shy, insecure teenager she had always seen me as.

However, despite all these promising signs, my smile dropped. I imagined this morning playing out entirely differently.

Jujubee would be the first person to message me. Fuck, she'd probably even break in just to make sure I was up.

None of that happened. I know one should manage their expectations better. But it still hurt.

After two cups of coffee, some soggy cereal and a shower, I tried calling her. It rang a few times but went straight to voicemail mail.

I didn't bother leaving another message. I didn't wanna freak her out.

I probably wasn't helping my case. She probably thought I was relying on her, that she was life support for me.

But that wasn't the case. I mean, I couldn't just stand up and be like, "OK later, bitch," after practically growing up together. How could I just let go of someone I held so dear to my heart?

My eyes travelled across the kitchen, at first only her disappointment during our argument, how I had never seen her so angry.

On the counter, beside the fridge, there was my memory box.

What would Grandpa say in this situation?

Remember how I would write things he'd say to me? Just little bits and pieces of advice as something I could hold on to? I gave it to Mom to put it away for me. It had to be in the box.

I stood up, the stool making a scraping sound along the ground.

But a knock at the door tore my attention away.

Why did I hope it would be her?

Well, because it wasn't out of the ordinary for her to come and visit in the morning. Maybe this was it. I was forgiven.

I rushed to the door with the slight fear that if I wasn't fast enough, I'd miss her.

I unlocked the door and flung it open, a smile on my face, ready to greet her.

5 people were standing there; the decorators. I tried not to let my smile falter as I let them in.

-_-_-_-

8PM and my place had never looked livelier. For my first time hosting a party, it didn't feel like there was much hosting to do.

It felt like any other party I had been to, a room crowded with people dancing or talking to each other.

The music wasn't too loud, so the disorientation wasn't there.

I held back from drinking with the fear of doing something embarrassing, especially around Blair.

My bathroom was still clean when I went to apply a fresh coat of gloss. Good. Nothing to worry about.

I made my way back downstairs to the party, crossing the barrier at the bottom. The only place off-limits to the guests was upstairs. I'd hate to think there would be some people who'd want private time, especially in my bed. It happened at college once.

After a small party in our dorm, I found a couple midst coitus in my bed. Never again, I had said.

"Brianna!"

My head whipped in the direction of the voice, every bit of hope I had inside building up.

"You look stunning." A raven-haired woman approached.

"Thank you," I said in more of a questionable form. My brain couldn't figure out who this was.

"My name is Raja. I'm a writer for Cosmo," that explained it, "I was wondering if I could ask a few questions for a piece I'm doing. It's on the most influential women of the year."

I wanted to say no in the case I missed the arrival of Blair.

As if she read my thoughts, she spoke again. "It won't even be five minutes."

She was right about that. 15 minutes it lasted. We were locked in my bathroom, the four walls making the place feel cramped.

She asked me questions about how I reached this level, my morning routine, and what I put in my hair to make it so voluptuous. And all the while, I just kept fearing that Blair had arrived. That she had searched around for me and left when she couldn't find me anywhere. I would discreetly glance at my watch, hoping too much time didn't pass. But around 5 minutes in, I didn't care for subtlety. Not that Raja noticed. The questions seemed endless.

When she turned her recorder off, she further complimented my outfit. I thanked her, inching my way to the door. This lasted another 3 minutes.

She said I was a tiny woman with a lot of heart. I held back from saying I was a tiny woman with a lot of baggage.

When I finally escaped, I searched the place for Blair, and when I didn't find her, the panic started.

"Did anyone come in in the last 15 minutes??" I asked the workers hanging by the door.

"Yeah, there were 2 people. And I've never seen them around work. Could be anyone, Brie." They said with worry in their tone.

"OK, was one of them a girl? Blonde hair. Around my age?" I questioned further.

They glanced at each other for clarification, then looked back at me and shook their heads.

"Nope. Just two guys." One said.

"Probably on a pussy hunt at their local party." The other said.

"Or dick hunt."

"Or both."

"Nah, how would they even get in?"

Realising this was not Blair they were talking about, I thanked them and excused myself.

So she wasn't here yet. That's fine. Probably just running late.

I gave in and had one glass of champagne. Just to calm my nerves.

And the last person I wanted to see started to approach.

Ed fucking Sheeran. He raised a glass to celebrate and thanked me for the hotel room we paid for. I said it was no problem. And just as he was about to suggest some pictures for his Instagram, I quickly navigated away.

But I was caught by another person who just so happened to be Joey.

"I am so glad you changed your mind about the whole Ed thing. Like...girl…" he sipped his own drink.

"Yeah, it was easier than I thought." I shrugged. "Kinda feel awkward being in his presence now, though."

"I'll distract him if you want. British guys are kinda cute." Joey smirked.

I tsked, cocking my head at him. "Joey, you didn't like the guy a few weeks ago."

"I never said I didn't like him." He smirked.

"I mean, you can try." I rolled my eyes, a small smile appearing on my own face, "don't expect it to go anywhere."

Joey winked and brushed past me, making his way in Ed's direction.

Setting my glass down in my sink, I made my way to the bathroom just to check my lip gloss. A woman couldn't be too careful.

Once inside, I felt cramped again despite being alone. Maybe it was the underlying feeling of worry from being trapped in the room with Raja.

I told myself to breathe but then questioned why I was even doing such an exercise. Everything was fine. Life was good.

Looking in the mirror, my gloss was fine. But I applied a new coat anyway, just a reassurance.

And upon leaving, I set out in search of Blair again. She had to be here, just somewhere lost amongst this large amount of people.

Maybe she found someone else to talk to. Maybe not.

I moved to the balcony, the cool night air a relief.

But she wasn't there either.

I sighed, wanting a cigarette or something. Anything to calm the rising panic I was feeling inside.

I closed the door and moved further into the night, peering over the balcony and out into New York. The twinkling lights were pretty. I took a picture and sent it to my Mom. And in a few seconds, she started calling me.

"Hey, Mom."

"Hi, baby. I just thought I'd see how things are going." She asks, sounding pretty optimistic.

"I mean... it's OK, I guess. A bit crowded at my place right now." I replied.

"You nervous for tomorrow?" I hear the mischief in her voice.

She believed I'm not nervous, that I was a confident, strong woman. But she was wrong. "Of course I am. I mean, we've gone through all the precautions, so it should be fine. But still…"

"Well, baby, I promise you, everything will work out fine. It's you we're talking about."

I smiled, trying to teach my brain to agree with her.

"I would say I'd have a drink for you, but I'm trying to keep away from it tonight." Even though that was a lie.

"Yeah, you don't wanna go do something embarrassing like flashing anyone or whatever." She laughs.

"Wow. I didn't realise that was something I did." I quipped sarcastically.

"How about Jujubee?" I could still hear her smile.

But mine slowly dropped. Fuck, I had no idea. Immediately I stood back from the balcony. "Ugh...yeah, she's fine. She's good."

I moved to the door and looked past the glass at the large number of people. Fuck, I didn't even know if she was inside.

"Am I gonna get to see a picture of your outfits? You two always look like the stars of a party."

"Yeah," I faked a small laugh. "I'll go find her and get a picture. I'm gonna get back inside, OK?"

"No problem, baby. Love you."

"I love you too." I clicked end call and quickly made my way back inside.

How the fuck had I forgotten about her so quickly? Not like she was in my mind that morning or anything.

Now I had to find 2 people. I rushed inside, looking out for both of them. I checked the kitchen, dining area, lounge, the bathroom. Fuck, I even checked upstairs in the case Jujubee was there.

But there was no sign.

Where the fuck was she? Where was Blair?

It was getting harder to hold down the anxiety. Was Jujubee right about Blair? Was this another instance of my childhood crush getting my hopes up and flaking out?

The next drink tray I saw, my hand went straight for another glass. Two wouldn't hurt.

"Hey, you made it!" I heard from the front of the room, by the door.

I quickly downed the champagne and practically ran for it, too afraid to miss who had arrived.

Just as my hopes were quickly up, they fell just as fast. It was just Alex, Joey hugging him at the door.

"Fuck...Fuck...Fuck…" I whispered to myself.

A third glass of champagne found its way into my hand, and in a matter of seconds, it was down the hatch. I grimaced at the taste now, feeling like I could throw up at any second. Was that all just the anxiety, though?

Another bathroom break, I was fixing my gloss once again, scared to ruin my makeup. My hands were trembling. Fuck.

It wasn't stopping.

Back out in the main room, I tried to scan the crowd, standing on my tiptoes to try and see past everyone. It didn't help much.

Despite the music and rambling chatter happening around me, I heard the front door open, my eyes shot in its direction.

I struggled to move past a small group of coworkers, trying to get a good view of the door.

I didn't even get my hopes up this time. And, of course, it wasn't Blair.

Jujubee was right. Blair wasn't coming. Once again, she had led me on to believe I did mean something to her and that she'd give us a chance.

My hand gripped my scalp, turning away from the door. I growled, "Fuck," which didn't go unnoticed.

There was Nina with a hand on my arm. "Are you OK?"

"Yes." I lied so quickly. "I'm fine. Just... it's a little crowded in here," I fidgeted with my hands, "Is Jujubee here?"

"Yeah, you haven't seen her?" Nina raised a brow, rubbing her hand up and down my bicep.

"No." My eyes looked around briefly. "Where is she??"

"I dunno. She's you're best friend." Nina squinted her eyes. She didn't mean to sound accusatory. I guessed she was more concerned.

"She is." I reaffirmed, even though now I wasn't so sure.

"If it helps, the last place I saw her was the kitchen."

"When?"

"Half an hour ago."

I rolled my eyes and groaned. "She could be anywhere."

"Girl, it's fine. Not like we're in a labyrinth. You'll find her eventually." Nina smiled, rubbing my arm again.

I paid her no more heed and hurried towards the kitchen in the hope I'd find her there. But like the rest of my apartment, it was crowded. I stood on my toes again to try and catch a glimpse of black hair.

But there was no sign. Stressed, a shaking hand reached for another champagne. Usually, my tolerance for alcohol was high, but right now, I was feeling it. I was wavy.

In my now weary state of mind, I decided what was the fucking point? Blair had 100% flaked, as per usual, and Jujubee was obviously avoiding me at all costs.

Nina had followed me, taking my hand. "Follow me."

I didn't fight it. She moved to the staircase, pulled back the barrier and let me pass through.

She ushered me to walk up to the top before moving no further.

Turning towards the crowd beneath us, Nina addressed the people with a raised tone. "Can we have your attention, please?"

The people went quiet, beaming up at us.

Nina talked about how much of a good night it was, all while the alcohol was taking me over.

My eyes scanned the crowd, in the final chance of hope, wanting nothing more than to see Jujubee's glowing smile shining up at me.

But I couldn't. Not because I had double vision. But because she was nowhere.

I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing hard out through my nose.

Nina put her hand on my shoulder. And only then did I realise that I had blacked out, missing everything she said. I blinked a few times, trying to clear the film that had glazed my brown eyes.

"But we all wouldn't be here without our leading lady." She smiled warmly. "Everything she's achieved, it's all brought us to this moment. Let's raise a glass to Miss Brianna Caldwell."

Everyone started cheering, only a few raising a toast, the others clapping. My eyes widened, feeling all those eyes on me.

"Hope you have a speech prepared," Nina whispered in my ear.

And me, being the queen of saying just 3 lines and quickly evacuating the scene, decided no. Fuck it. I had something to say.

When the crowd began to settle down, I began to deliver the messiest speech ever.

"Well, funny you should mention achievements, Nina, because, yeah, I'm standing here before you all, having done the impossible. But what does that matter?" I laughed, shrugging. "Yeah, it does matter a whole fucking deal. I mean, look at you all. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't?" I laughed awkwardly again, but as I continued, my smile began to disappear. "Well, sometimes you just want a certain someone to give a shit. And they make you believe that they do. Just for like 5 minutes. And it feels so so fucking incredible. It feels like...like you matter. You're not just plain old Brianna Caldwell. You mean the world to them…" My tone dropped, "And then...you realise you're the most gullible, unaware, stupid fucking idiot in the world. They don't really give a fuck about you. They don't see all the things that you've achieved in life and think…' Wow...What an incredible person.' They just... don't give a fuck about you."

Everybody looked confused, uneasy even, while others giggled. Glad to know I was serving as the entertainment for the night, and I was in the same room as Ed fucking Sheeran.

Then, as if some higher power looked at me with a shaking head, maybe my grandpa, there was a glimmer of light at the back of the room, a flash of movement. And my eyes were drawn to the source.

My heart stopped

There she was. Finally. Blair St. Clair smiling apologetically at the few people who were looking at her. They smiled back as they should. She was breathtaking.

And her eyes moved to where everyone else was looking.

Right at me.

Such a familiar feeling was falling over me.

Everyone else in the room. Gone. Like they just stepped into another world, leaving the two of us in this reality.

She panted, out a breath, like she had run to my place. Impossible, she looked like an absolute angel in her gold wrap dress.

Nina nudged me. I snapped out of my daze, reminded of the whole crowd of people looking up at me with confused stares.

Fuck...what do I say now? How do I backtrack?

"But...you know what?" I started to speak again. "You realise, you're just overthinking again. 'Cause, that's a very on-brand thing for you. Every little incident of the past has taught you to doubt that good things actually can happen to you." My smile was returning. "Because the people who give a shit are there. Because you've done the impossible. And they couldn't be happier to be part of your story." My eyes were moving through the crowd, "Do what makes the ones around you proud, and what makes you fucking proud. And don't let anyone or anything hold you the fuck back. Because you have a purpose."

Thank fuck for the fact everyone started cheering again. I thought I had fucking bombed that I would see a recording of the same speech the following day all over Twitter, along with comments about how dramatic it was.

But it was fine. I saved it. I smiled at everyone and hugged Nina, suddenly overcome with happiness.

"Fuck you for not telling me you were gonna drag me up here," I whispered in her ear.

"Well, if I had asked you in the first place, you would have said no, honey." Nina grinned.

We pulled apart, and my eyes went back to the front door. I smiled, expecting to see Blair. But she had vanished. Fuck, I hadn't imagined her, right?

I tried to carefully make my way down the stairs without tripping, ready to look for her once again.

And upon reaching the bottom, Joey grabbed my hand and pulled me close, "someone on the balcony requires your attention."

He winked, and the butterflies in my belly went mad.

She was playing games with me. Not a very Blair St Clair thing to do, but the thought excited me.

I hurried to the balcony, ready to feel that cool air on my skin, her warm body pressed against mine.

And just as I was passing through the doors, feeling the cooling breeze, I stopped dead in my tracks.

I froze.

This wasn't what I expected; seeing her standing there, only noticing how radiant she looked in her orange suit dress.

Fuck. It felt so long since I had last seen her.

But it had been only a few days.

"Hi, Juju," I spoke quietly.

"Hey," she inhaled her cigarette, looking out to the city. If she hadn't replied to me, I would have guessed she failed to realise I was even there.

I swallowed, my eyes glancing down to the ground for a moment. The alcohol in my system was telling me to just turn and leave her alone. She didn't wanna see me.

But my brain said, "you idiot, she obviously invited you out here."

So I moved forward, rubbing the backs of my arms nervously.

I stood beside her, not even daring to look her in the eye. I looked at her orange suit, how Mom would have adored it.

"You invited me out here." I leaned my elbows on the ledge, my gaze following hers over the twinkling lights of New York.

"Yeah, I did." She did offer me a cigarette, but still, she never looked at me.

I shook my head, declining her offer, "Why didn't you just come and ask me yourself?"

"I was dying for a cigarette." She breathed out a stream of smoke. "Also, I've already spent most of the night trying to find you."

I couldn't help but breathe out a laugh through my nose. I glanced at her and was glad to see the smirk appear on those lips.

"I've been trying to fucking find you." I continued to laugh, a crack to my tone, however.

She finally looked at me, turning her body to face me. Her brows were knit together, yet the smirk remained. "No. I," she stressed, "have been trying to find you."

"So...what have I been doing for the past...I dunno, few hours?" I raised a brow. "Did I take 10 hits of acid earlier, or did I not search this place from top to bottom?"

She gave me a hopeless smile like she knew there was no point in arguing. She sucked on the cigarette, offering it to me.

I gave in, taking it from her hand, my fingers touching hers with a light touch. Her eyes moved to our hands as if she was thinking about it too. The feeling like this was a moment we needed to remember.

I took a drag on the cigarette, passing it back. She looked away, briefly turning her gaze to the ground.

But I kept my eyes on her like I'd never get another chance. "I really miss you, Juju," I spoke quietly, almost through a whisper.

She looked at me again. Her mouth moved around slightly yet remained closed like she wanted to say something. But she couldn't figure out what it was she was going to say.

I reached out, took her hand in mine. She seemed taken aback at first. But as my thumb stroked against the soft skin of her hand, a small smile began to resurface.

"There are…" she paused, "things that I would love to say to you. But I just... I'm afraid."

"Is it bad? Come on, Juju. You can tell me. You can tell me anything. I mean, we've grown up together. We've always told each other everything."

She looked apprehensive before taking another drag from her cigarette. And stubbing it out in the ashtray, she turned towards me once again.

She looked ready to say it. Whatever it was. I didn't even know the words yet. But I could tell this would mean a lot to her.

The muffled sound of the many people behind the closed glass doors became clearer, amplified even. Jujubee looked in its direction. My eyes followed.

"Blair," I uttered.

She looked slightly taken aback like she didn't know how to react to seeing us.

Jujubee dropped her hand to her side, a small puff of air leaving her nostrils.

"Jujubee." A smile appeared on Blair's face as she finally approached us both. "I didn't expect to see you here!"

"Likewise." Jujubee nodded slowly. She glanced at me, and I reciprocated.

Before I could figure out her exact emotion. But now, she was hard to read once again. My brows knit together, telepathically questioning what she was feeling.

Jujubee looked back at Blair. "Talk about awful timing though, I was just leaving." Jujubee smiled back at her.

Blair's smile was disappearing. "Oh." She paused, unable to say anything else.

"You don't have to go, Jujubee." I took her hand once again, stroking my thumb over her skin another time, just to remind her of the tender moment we were just having.

She smiled again, but only now, I knew the true words behind it. She pulled her hand away. "Early rise, actually. Gotta get up and ready for the big day tomorrow, right?" She raised her brows at me. Then she looked at Blair, "It was nice seeing you," and then back to me once more, "I hope you have a good night, Brie."

She averted her eyes, not even sparing me another glance. The clacking of her heels was deafening, each step away causing something inside to sting.

"It was nice seeing you again," Blair said before Jujubee could make it through the doors.

I heard a mumbled "yeah, yeah," before Jujubee went back inside.

My gaze still followed her, watching as she navigated the crowd.

"Did she...seem off to you?" Blair asked quietly.

"Yeah," I said without thinking. "I just...I don't know what's wrong with her...I can't...work it out…" my eyes never left the door, hoping Jujubee would reappear.

And feeling Blair's soft hand in mine, I was brought back to reality. I looked at her, seeing the concern in her eyes. Fuck, what a great way to reunite.

"Is something going on?" She asked softly.

I shook my head frantically, "N-No. We're fine...I guess I'm just overreacting. Yeah, she's just been...really busy with everything."

"That's probably true." She shrugged, glancing at the door, "Well, actually, I haven't seen what goes behind the public eye, but I bet it's taxing." Blair was facing me again, her eyes widening briefly.

I let out a small laugh, "Oh, you have no idea." And only then did I get a real chance to take her in. The girl had not changed. Well, call me corny, but she only got more radiant looking.

"I didn't think you'd come," I spoke with a hushed tone.

"Sorry, I was late. I couldn't get a cab for ages." She gave a half-smile. "I guess New York really is that kind of place."

"Fuck, I didn't think about traffic. I could have got you a driver or something. "I started rambling.

"No, it's OK. I'm here now anyway." Her eyes looked me up and down, "you look great, by the way. Pink always was your colour."

Funny how the last time she gave me a compliment, I shut her down. But now, I couldn't bring myself to do so. "Thank you."

I wasn't expecting her to hug me, but she did. It was very welcoming. If I could rate it out of 10, I'd give it a 9. Why the missing point? Cause she pulled away too soon. I needed that time, just to soak up the moment.

My arm was still around her waist when she put a hand to my face.

"It's so good to see you." She beamed, the city lights reflected in her eyes.

"You wanna go upstairs? We'll hear better up there. And it's kinda chilly out here." I hoped she didn't find that creepy or like I was suggesting something because that was not my intention, believe it or not.

I almost jumped, the sound of her sweet voice dragging me out of the storm that was my inner ramblings. "What about your party?" She looked over her shoulder at all the guests behind the closed doors."

"They'll be fine," I said too quickly.

"Oh. Well, if you say so."

She didn't find that weird. Good. I finally pulled my arm from her body but took her hand instead, leading her into the apartment.

I ignored the side glances we received, too focused on her presence behind me. Still so in disbelief that for once, she hadn't flaked out. She really did give a fuck. Walking up the stairs, I only noticed how my vision had cleared. I no longer felt drunk. Had it just been a quick rush of nausea that left me feeling so weary before? Or had the shock of seeing Blair literally walk into my life again shocked me so much to the point it sobered me up?

"Here we go," I said quietly, welcoming her into the upper level.

"Wow, you got another living room up here." Blair's wandering eyes landed on the couch.

"Yeah. The one downstairs is for fucking business and parties. And this one," I gestured to where she was looking, "is for hanging out mostly, and…" Why did I have to be so nervous?

"Hookups?" She looked at me with raised brows and a smirk.

I laughed nervously, moving to the fake fireplace and turning it on. Why didn't I just say no? She probably thought I was a slut or something. "Sit down if you want. Do you want a drink? I'd love a fucking drink right now."

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks, though." She replied, sitting down on the sofa and relishing the feeling of it.

"I need some fucking water." I rushed to the mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle.

Turning back to face Blair, she was looking at me in confusion. "You OK?"

"What?" That was all I thought to reply with.

"You seem kind of…" she paused, trying to figure out her words, "on edge."

"I do?" My hands played with the water bottle.

"Yeah, you've included the word 'fucking' in every sentence since we got up here." She allowed herself to smirk.

Subliminal, Blair. I like it.

Fuck, I dragged my mind out of the gutter and practically rushed to the couch. "Oh, it's just...tomorrow. The nerves, you know." I sat on the other end of the sofa, took a gulp of water and made myself comfortable.

Blair turned to face her body towards me. "Am I wrong, or was Ed Sheeran downstairs??"

"Yeah, he was. It's kind of a long story, actually." I laughed. "You a fan?"

"No, not really," Blair replied.

"Good, me neither. Not really into the whole wedding dance song vibe."

"Me too." She groaned, "If I hear Thinking out loud at another wedding, girl, I'm just...I dunno."

"I get it. 100%"

"Well, enough about him," Blair sat up straight, a bright smile on her face. She laughed for a moment before even speaking, "Fuck, I was just about to ask what you've been up to." She gestured a hand around the room, "I mean, duh."

"Yeah," I returned the laugh, "It's pretty much just that. This project has taken up most of my life over the years."

"God, I remember reading in the paper...fuck, I can't remember the exact title. It was this tiny article just squashed into a corner. 'Scientist seeks to prove the existence of other realities.' Yeah, it was something like that. And…" She shrugged, "I just knew it was you. And, I knew you'd go far."

I felt the blush creep onto my skin. Hearing this from Blair felt otherworldly.

"I mean, I knew before. When you told me at Prom, I knew you'd be able to do it." She added.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"Just hearing how you talked about it. Like, you really believed in yourself. It made me believe too." She swapped around the legs she crossed.

"It was hard. Trying to get people on board with everything. Not a lot of people believed it was even possible in the beginning." I unscrewed the cap from the bottle of water. "And now look at me; I got the government behind this whole thing." I shrugged and took a sip of the water. Before she could go on, I took the conversation on another route. "But what about you? Where are you in life?"

I knew where she was in life. Hadn't I Facebook stalked her not too long before?

"Well, it sounds far fetched, but I'm trying to get into the music scene." Blair sat back in her seat, eyes wandering off, looking at nothing in particular.

"You always did like performing," I noted. "Starting out in the school playgrounds. Soon you'll be playing an Arena with a sold-out show."

Did I sound cheesy? Was I too much of a kiss ass? Because to me, this was honesty. I always thought Blair had the potential to be a famous singer. She had the voice, the looks, style and personality. Who wouldn't want her as part of their label?

Fuck, it only hit me that I could have gotten her a spot to perform at the event.

Blair had stood, a small sigh emitting her lips. "An Arena? Imagine that." She smirked for a moment, stepping away from the couch. For a hot second, I thought I had stepped on territory I shouldn't have, and she was leaving. But she made her way to the window, staring out over New York. So I naturally went too. "Well, I've just been singing around bars for a while now, even had 2 gigs. Nothing too amazing." She explained. "I mean, I know you say Arena and all, but, actually, I wouldn't wanna be that big. I just...want people to hear my music."

Her smile faltered somewhat, and it spoke volumes. It wasn't happening fast enough for her, the growing number of ears that would someday listen to her words. She wanted it all now.

I sidestepped a bit closer. My fingers were so close to brushing against hers, then stopping myself in realising that was too much. "It does take time, these things. I mean, I didn't get here overnight. It will happen, Blair." She flashed me a gracious smile, and I was glad she didn't find any of that condescending. That was not my aim. "Anyway, I'd love to hear your music."

"You would?" Blair cocked her head to the side, turning more to face me, her hand on the window cill closer to mine.

"Of course," I reply. She should've known that anyway.

"Well, I'm not gonna break out into song for you right now. But I have a few videos on my Facebook. You should add me." She suggested.

I had never opened Facebook so fast. "There. I sent you a request." I scrolled through her timeline, my back now to the window, "Lemme see."

"Oh, God. Please don't. Not right now." Blair panicked.

I lifted my gaze, my eyes almost wide. Blair St Clair, the girl who wasn't hesitant to approach a mic, was embarrassed. I found this to be adorable and oddly made me feel more relaxed. "Don't be shy, Blair. I'm sure they're great."

"Brianna, don't." No joke, Blair attempted to snatch my phone away like a child.

I found it highly amusing. "Why not?" I smiled mischievously.

Blair continued her protests, trying to swipe at the phone more and more, all while laughing nervously.

Eventually, my teasing led to a chase. I still scrolled her Facebook as I ran around the room, Blair behind me.

"Which one should I look out for?" I stood at one end of the couch.

Blair stood at the other end, letting out a pant. "Brianna, you better not."

I stepped to the right, throwing her off, and she ran to her left, ready to run straight at me and take the phone out of my hand.

But I tricked her. When I took that step to the right, I pulled back and moved to the left instead. And without thinking, I threw myself down on my bed.

Before I could even get up, Blair was already there, too, crawling towards me. She reached for my phone, still pleading with me to stop.

And finally, giving the current circumstances, I gave in. "OK, OK. You win. I won't play your music in front of you." I giggled mischievously, shuffling so my back was against my headboard. "You're gonna have to remind me to check it out, though."

Blair remained at the bottom of my bed, kicking her heels off and folding them like a pretzel. It was as if we were teenagers again, catching up on all the hanging out we never got to do. She fluffed out her hair, "God, Brie, I came here to have a good time. Not to work out. Why are you still looking at your phone?"

Now that I was on her profile, scrolling back to the top, I saw a familiar picture. "Wow, this George guy's kind of cute."

Blair smiled warmly, her eyes looking upwards. And I had the slightest sinking feeling she was about to tell me this was her fucking lover or husband.

"Ah...George. What a guy." Blair blinked. "He does music too. If you like my stuff, then you'll like his too. He's got this song Gimme Love. It's my favourite."

"Is he your boyfriend?" There was no hesitation in asking.

Her brows briefly crossed. "What? No. He's one of my closest friends. Really helping me find places to perform. He's just...really cool."

I mouthed a silent 'Oh' before going on and cocking my head to the side, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Was it normal to ask shit like this? Maybe it was. But considering I had confessed to her I liked her very much in that accidental message, perhaps I shouldn't have said it at all. Didn't want her getting sus.

I got the feeling she knew I was trying to find a way in as she raised a brow at me, the corners of her mouth turning upwards. "Nah, Brie. I'm done with boys."

I lowered my phone. That could have meant anything;

She was strictly into girls;

She had just gotten out of a bad relationship with someone, and she was going through that typical 'men are trash' phase;

She used the term 'boys' when referring to immature fuck boys who still thrived in toilet paper bombing people's houses and still fought with feminists online. She was now looking for 'a real man' who would love and respect her.

She wasn't speaking, just lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Before the silence could go on and get awkward, I shifted in my own spot. "Do you wanna elaborate on that?"

"Oh. Yeah, if you want to hear it." She said like she didn't want to, and before I could stop her, she went on, "Well, the last was Conrad. He cheated on me. Before him, there was Ethan. I found out he'd talk shit about me to all his meathead buddies, said that my ass wasn't big enough. Then Bryce with his superior attitude. And…" she sighed, "Fucking Trevor."

Just hearing his name did something to me. I could feel how my shoulders had tensed, how the breath got stuck in my throat for a moment. But my ability to talk was unaffected because I spoke up, "I remember you saying he was controlling." I moved away from my headboard, shuffling closer to her, so close she could have put her head in my lap if she wanted.

Blair nodded, "he was," she breathed out a sigh, "I can't believe I'm even admitting this, but after high school, I started seeing him again. He promised me he would change, that things would be different. And I always feel like such an idiot for believing him."

That was upsetting. My hand squeezed in a fist. "So, what was the final straw? The thing that made you end things for the last time?"

Blair took in a deep breath, rolling over onto her front and propping her head upon her hands. She looked up at me with sad eyes. "He was just the same, Brie. Always controlling me, telling me how to act, who I could and couldn't hang out with. He was like that from the beginning to the end. I mean, you remember how he reacted about that one sex-ed class? And that time, he yelled at me in front of everyone for not sitting with him at lunch one day?"

I had no idea about the last thing. And I wasn't even surprised. Trevor was that type of guy, and you just knew it within the first few minutes of meeting him.

I was curious to know, but I kind of already had a feeling. Yet, I needed clarification. "Is that why you never came back to the library? Because he knew people would talk if you were seen with the school loser?" She leaned up now, but I continued. "Is it why you never came to speak to me about the prom?"

Blair was just watching me in silence. But I could see it, the realisation in her face.

"Fuck." She sat up and moved closer to me. "Oh my gosh, Brianna. I am so sorry. I had...no idea it would hurt you." We were both face to face, and she put her hands on mine, her eyes apologetic. She cussed, briefly looking away. "Fuck, I knew you hated me. The years of silence, of course, you did."

"Wait, no. Stop. I'm sorry. I don't wanna make you feel like a bad person. That's not what I wanted to do." I said profusely, my hands tightening just slightly.

"No, no. I'm sorry. You have every right to be upset." She spoke quietly, her blue eyes pleading with me. "Just be honest with me. I owe you that. You deserve to be heard."

"Really, Blair, it's fine. It's - -"

"Brianna. You're upset. You're not really good at hiding it, no offence." She smirked at the last comment. But the smile disappeared, and she waited for my response.

I stared back at her, my gaze shifting between both those eyes. My mind debated what to do, refuse to say a thing and let it all continue to build up. Or vent years of pent up emotions that needed to be said.

I looked away, deciding the latter decision was probably the best. I really didn't want to, what with the risk of upsetting her.

But maybe she wouldn't.

But maybe she would.

But maybe…

Her hand left mine and swept a strand of hair away from my face. I didn't even know it was there. "You're really hurt, Brie," she spoke softly.

I looked back to her finally, her hand lowering back down. And I finally found my voice. "OK." I shifted in my spot, highly uncomfortable. Come on, Brie. Just tell her.

"Do you remember the prom? When you asked me how we never talked more?" Just say it. "Because I always felt inadequate. Like I wasn't enough for you. And, not just you, even my…" I paused, feeling the lump form in my throat, "...my parents. Ummm…" saying that out loud to her, it hit differently. My voice was cracking. "I always associated you with my parents. I don't know where the connection came from, and I know now that that's fucked up, and I know I probably should go to a therapist about that, but..." I quickly explained. "But yeah, I just...never felt enough. Like 'why would Blair the cheerleader want to associate with someone like me? How could Blair ever love someone like me??'"

Fuck, it just slipped out. I studied her face for a reaction, expecting her to back away.

But she didn't. She just nodded in understanding, squeezing my hand reassuringly.

"But, um...I know now. It wasn't that you didn't care. It was just...fucking Trevor." I practically growled that name.

Blair breathed out a laugh, rolling her eyes. "Fucking Trevor."

"Yeah, fuck that asshole," I allowed myself to smile before continuing on. "I just... didn't understand how hard that actually was for you."

"It was very hard. God, it bothered me so much because I really did have a soft spot for you, Brianna. I really did, ever since we were kids." Blair smiled warmly. "And that's why I'm so glad you replied to my message. After all these years."

I gulped, thinking about that damn message, and now seeing her loving smile. "Y-You didn't think it was weird?"

Blair sighed, yet her smile remained. "Brianna. Do you think I'd be sitting here if it was?" She moved her hand to my elbow, up my shoulder, caressing my cheek gently.

I almost said something. I couldn't even remember what it was. Not that it mattered because I didn't get the chance. The moment I had been waiting for, it was happening. Her face was moving closer to mine, eyes slowly closing. And as soon as I felt her lips brush against mine, the feeling of her touch caused the butterflies in my stomach to flutter. I closed my own eyes and accepted what was happening.

The kiss my teenage self craved, dreamed about even.

It was reality.

We hadn't just slipped into some other world.

This was real life. The feeling of her hand on my cheek, that was real. The butterflies in my stomach fighting against the walls, also real.

And how I lifted my hand and held her face, also real.

She pulled away first, but her lips were still close, "was that OK?"

"Yeah," I moved my face back towards hers, initiating another kiss. I was savouring every bit of this moment. The sweet taste of her was too much to not let go of.

But she pulled back again, letting herself fall back against the mattress. I stared at her for a few seconds. Fuck, this was happening. Something inside me was hesitant to do this. The nerves, the fear of not being enough for her.

Blair reached out for my hand, and I knew I was just overthinking again. I took her hand and allowed her to pull me down to her.

Lowering my face to hers, I kissed her again, more hungrily this time. For a second, I didn't know where to go from there, still so in disbelief that my luck had turned around.

When I pulled away, my hand travelling down the side of her face. "Oh my God...is this real?"

"Of course it is." Blair giggled, her hands roaming up and down my back.

"OK. Good!" I panted, moving my kisses to her cheek, then her neck, and I could feel my heart beating a bit faster.

But because I am Brianna Caldwell, the most awkward person to have ever lived, I had to go on with the questions. "Hey, Blair, can I ask you something?" I kept my lips where they were.

"Mhmm?" She purred when I kissed that point where her neck met her shoulder. The pathetic noise she made almost made me melt, I swear to God.

"Were you…" come on, Brie, just say it, "were you gonna kiss me at the prom?"

She chuckled, "Yeah. But Trevor had to be an insecure loser."

I appreciated the cute giggling sound she made.

I lifted my head away from her skin and leaned up. I looked at her with a raised brow.

Blair was smiling still, but I knew she was getting impatient.

"So...you like-liked me back then too? Even when I was ugly?" I asked.

"Brianna, you were never ugly." Blair's brows connected, a hand stroking up and down my side. She really was getting needy. "And yes. I always like-liked you. God, that's so cute. You still say like-like." She took my hands and guided them to the knot tight at the side of her wrap dress.

"Shut up. Fuck, you're so beautiful." My hands began to untie the knot while I lowered my face and kissed along her clavicle and the only bit of exposed chest I had access to.

"Fuck. If only you knew how long I wanted this." Blair mewled. "I didn't think this was ever gonna happen. Even when I saw you and Juju out on the balcony, I was like...fuck. I'm too late."

Confusion immediately took me over. I pulled back again, looking down at her. A brief flash of frustration appeared on her face, but I ignored it. "Wait. What?"

"Yeah, I just…" Blair looked away for a moment as if debating on continuing or not, "always saw how you were around her. Always so happy. Like you were on top of the world. And I just didn't want to get in the way of that."

Her hand was trailing along my thigh, but I ignored it.

"Wait...Jujubee?" I knew that's who she was talking about, but even the sound of her name, it made something inside hurt. Not a hurt that she caused. Something...so different yet familiar at the same time.

"Yes. I never saw you that happy around anyone else…" Blair leaned back, balancing against my propped knees. "I mean, the prom? The way you looked at me, it was nothing compared to when you're with her. With Jujubee, it was...always so different."

Realisation dawned on me. I knew what she was getting at.

I opened my mouth to speak, ready to say I didn't like Jujubee in that way. But the words wouldn't surface. No matter how much I willed myself, I just couldn't. Even the thought of saying it made that feeling of hurt feel 10 times worse.

"You OK?" Her fingers danced around my thigh again, only with more wanting now.

"But…" I began, "I gave you my Valentine's card in first grade."

Now she was silent, her gaze shifting between both my eyes. She leaned up on both elbows, realising my questions weren't going to stop, and her pussy wasn't going to be eaten any time soon. She gave a nervous laugh, "um, no. You gave it to Jujubee."

I squinted my eyes. "No. I gave it to you, Blair."

"Girl, you gave it to me, and when I asked if it was mine, you shouted at me, saying it was for Juju and you just wanted me to check it out." She was laughing again. But seeing my still confused face, her smile began to drop. "You don't remember that?"

I was silent for a moment. Blair was in front of me, the love of my life, but all I could see was the image of Jujubee in my head. Her perfect little face, the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she laughed, that bright smile, her silky black hair that always smelt so good.

I thought back, all the way back to that specific Valentine's Day. I remembered handing the card to Blair, her confused face, how the kids snickered as I stood there feeling sorry for myself. And Jujubee shouting at them all for making jokes.

But that was all.

"I... don't remember that," I spoke quietly, my eyes squinted.

"Not even the card she gave you?"

My eyes widened at that. "She did what?"

"Yeah, she gave you a card."

Now that she mentioned it, there was a flicker of an image in my head; something pastel pink. My tiny painted fingers holding a heart shape. Baby Brianna smiling, only to lift her head and see the other kids making fun.

"Oh, shit…" I whispered. I climbed off Blair and got up from the bed.

I was on the verge of pacing, my hand in my hair, "Oh my God."

"Don't be embarrassed, Brie." Blair was fully sat up in the bed now, her legs spread as if trying to beckon me back. "Not a lot of people can remember so far back."

I needed to prove if this was real or not. I'd call Jujubee. But then again, would she have even answered? If what Blair was saying was true, that explained why Jujubee was behaving the way she was. She was hurt. She was pissed because I didn't remember her card.

But how the fuck could I have forgotten something like that? All my life, that was all I ever wanted - to know I was loved by someone. Such a memory like that…

"Brie, are we...you know...gonna…" Blair spoke quietly.

My eyes widened. A memory like that. A memory that would be worth keeping.

I turned to face her. "Blair, wait here. I'll be right back."

"OK. Sure." Blair blinked a few times.

I wasted no time rushing downstairs. Taking a moment to observe the crowd, it seemed, quite a few guests had left already. At least it would make it easier to navigate.

I made my way to the kitchen. The memory box was still there. For a millisecond, I feared someone would have stolen it.

I took it to the counter, no one was around, so I felt safe enough to open it.

My nerves were wrecked as I lifted the latch to the box. I only had a small idea of the things that would be in here. Old photos, movie tickets, childhood drawings.

But I hadn't planned on opening it up so soon.

No. I needed to know the truth.

Opening it up, I saw a bunch of photos, tickets and pieces of folded up paper. I removed them, planning to possibly look at them at a later date.

The more I pulled out, the more confident I felt that Blair had got it all wrong. And she was the one who remembered things differently.

But there was a flash of pink at the bottom of the box. I gulped, pushing aside the scraps of paper burying it.

And there it was; A pastel pink heart-shaped card, 'Happy Valentines Day' writing in glitter gel pen on the front. "Shit…" I said quietly, pulling the card out.

Opening it up, I breathed out a puff of air.

'Dear Brianna, I know people in class are mean and say nasty things. But I think you are the prettiest girl in the world. Happy Valentine's day. Love from Juju xxx'

I could hear the younger version of myself reading it out loud, the insults from the other kids, Jujubee yelling at them because they were just jealous.

I put the card down as I realised Blair was right. And memories resurfaced, reading completely different.

That Valentines Day in which she refused to tell me who she had eyes for

That time she didn't invite me to stay for dinner.

How her smile would drop every time I mentioned Blair.

How I never danced with her at the prom

And finally, our recent argument.

It all made sense. Jujubee was in love with me. And instead of recognising it earlier on, I was too caught up with Blair to see it.

And what about me? How did I feel about her? Yeah, Jujubee was my one and only friend. She had gotten me through so much throughout the years. If it weren't for her, who knew where I would have been.

I couldn't pinpoint any time that I had thought of her as more than just a friend.

Well, maybe the times we'd lie in bed and just...stare into each other's eyes. Or the time she held me as I sobbed into her chest after the incident at the prom. Or maybe the times she'd smile, and it would brighten up my day. Or the exact day that I noticed how cute it was when her lashes fluttered.

Or…

My eyes met the heart-shaped card again, how the very sight of it made my heart skip a beat.

"Fuck." I ran my fingers through my hair as it was clear to me.

My eyes ventured away from the card, moving to the scraps of paper.

'Grandpa's tips for life'

My hand told me to examine the piece of paper further, so I did so.

At the top of the list, there it was. A sign.

'Go get her, kiddo. You've got nothing to lose.'

I needed to tell her.

I packed the box up and quickly left the kitchen, noting that a few more people had left.

"Blair!" I called, rushing up the stairs.

She was still there, laying in the bed, in just her white lacey lingerie.

I covered my eyes. "Oh my God. That was unexpected."

"Fuck. Sorry. I kind of had a feeling that would have been inappropriate." She asked.

"What? No. You're fine. I just... wasn't prepared for that." I stuttered, still covering my eyes. "Could you just...cover-up for a second."

"OK." I heard her say. "You can look now."

I looked back. She did pull the duvet up, but just below the wire of her bra.

"OK," I breathed out, trying to ignore her cleavage, "I think you're right about Jujubee."

"You think?"

"Yes," I replied before shaking my head profusely. "No. I know. You're right, Blair. I...I like her. Maybe even love her." Fuck, saying that out loud, it did something to me, "And yes, I liked you for so long, but you're right. I was always happiest with her."

I was expecting her to be disappointed, but she smiled. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

"What?"

"Go get her."

Grandpa's words reiterated.

"You're not upset that we're not gonna have sex right now?"

"No, Brie." Blair threw back the covers, picking up her gold wrap dress off the floor, "I already learned how to deal with it. Knowing you belonged to someone else." She wrapped her body up in the dress effortlessly, fluffed out her hair and turned to look at me again. "I know you're meant to be with her. So, go. Go tell her now before it's too late."

Despite this revelation, I couldn't help but feel like a dick. Blair was smiling, but I knew she had to feel some level of hurt. I walked towards her and brought her into a hug.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you, Brie," Blair whispered in my ear.

I only held her tighter, "Don't be," and I pulled away, my hands still on her shoulders, "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have ever opened my eyes."

I kissed her on the cheek, and she smiled warmly. I turned to leave, and before I made my way downstairs, I looked at her once more. Her hand was on her face where my lips had been. I was glad I could give her that one last kiss, just something to hold on to.

"You really helped me, Blair," I said.

"Good." She said graciously. "Now go."

The urgency in her voice only fueled my determination.

I was under no time limit, but I couldn't help but want to reach Jujubee as soon as possible.

When I was outside, I shouted for the first cab I saw. Thankfully it pulled over. I got in and pulled out my phone.

But the car was still.

"Go! Drive!" I raised my voice.

"Lady. You haven't even told me where you're headed!" The cabbie turned in his seat.

Fuck, I sounded crazy. How he hadn't thrown me out was beyond me.

I only realised that I had no idea where my destination was. Jujubee could have been anywhere.

The driver was still looking at me, his patience growing thin. So I barked out Jujubee's address.

He seemed relieved to be on the road again. Only then was I aware of the honking cars behind us. Typical for New York, but this was too much.

I found Jujubee's number, trying my luck at the chance she'd answer.

It rang.

And it rang.

And it rang some more.

"Come on, come on," I repeated quietly to myself. Relax, Brie. It's not like she's catching a plane to the furthest state.

The phone went straight to voicemail. "Fuck!"

The cab driver glared at me in the rearview mirror.

I ignored him and tried again. Still nothing.

A few minutes passed, and I tried once more. But again, my luck was shit on.

I dropped my hands to my lap, sighing frustratedly. All I could do was just see if she was home.

My eyes trailed to beyond the window, just hoping to get there as soon as possible.

And there she was. Walking out of a pizza place, a solemn look on her face.

"There she is," I said aloud to myself before turning my attention to the cab driver. "Stop! Pull over!"

He came to a grinding halt. "Jesus Christ, lady! You really need to stop all that yelling and - -"

I handed him a $20 bill, "keep the change. Thank you."

I got out of the vehicle, eyes looking to where Jujubee once was. She was gone.

"Fuck." I looked down one path, not there. And looking down the other, there was Jujubee, rounding the corner and eating a slice of pizza.

I ran in my heels, people moving out of the way to dodge me.

I knew I was an inconvenience to so many, but Jujubee at that moment was my priority.

Rounding the corner, I saw she didn't get far. I couldn't help but bend over for a hot second, trying to catch my breath.

And when I recovered, I shouted out, "Jujubee!"

She turned, eyes wide like she had never heard my voice before. And when she saw it was me, her face sort of fell.

My hand reached into my bag, and I pulled out the Valentines Day card.

She looked confused at first, but then recognition settled in. And the disappointment was replaced with fear.

I stopped panting. And finally, I could speak. "You were right. Approval; That's all I ever wanted. And I thought that if Blair gave that to me, I'd be good enough. Because I never felt that. I never felt good enough. I wasn't good enough for Blair, I was never good enough for my parents, and I'd never be good enough for anyone."

Jujubee was silent for a moment, eyes falling to the pavement and then back up again. "You were good enough for me."

I breathed out. "I know. But I was...too caught up in my own shit to think about how you felt. Too caught up that...I didn't even think about how I felt." I paused, thinking of how the fuck I should say it. No, I didn't need to think. This wasn't some cheesy movie. "I...I love you, Juju."

She let out a breath, a shaky one like she was on the verge of tears. And her eyes became glossy. I really wanted to tell her not to cry, to be happy. But this moment, she wanted this all her life.

A tear slipped down her cheek, but she laughed. "Fuck, I got this fucking pizza 'cause I needed heartbreak food."

I returned the laugh. "Hey, it's OK. You can still eat it. It can be normal pizza."

"No. I'm not even hungry anyway." Jujubee admitted, passing the pizza to a random passerby (who was taken by surprise but accepted the free food anyway).

Jujubee walked towards me. I smiled, already smelling that sweet perfume.

But she pushed me back. "Fuck you for forgetting about the card. I knew you did. I always remembered yours."

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why I forgot. But," I paused, "Blair reminded me."

"She did?"

"Yep."

"Wow. She remembered. But you didn't."

"Yeah. I'm...really really sorry."

"Wow. Is this our first couple fight?" Jujubee put her hands on her hips.

"It could be. If... that's what you want to call us." I suggested.

"Perfect. Seal the deal?" She raised a brow.

I knew where this was going. "Oh, absolutely."

Jujubee stepped closer, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pressed her lips against mine. And that unfamiliar spark coursed through me, like it came from somewhere inside her and travelled through my body.

And I didn't care for the fact we were in the middle of the street, probably inconveniencing others. All that mattered was the happiness coursing through me, the feeling of...being complete.

I pulled out of the kiss first. "Wanna get in that rocket and be the first to go to the other world?"

Jujubee smiled but quickly stopped. "I-I'm kinda unprepared. I mean... I'd need a toothbrush, my clothes..."

"Where we're going...you don't need 'em." And then I played the words back in my head. "Oh. Oh shit, no. Not in that context. I just meant... you'd get new ones, you know? Fuck, I'm terrible at this."

"No. You're just you." Jujubee laughed, and fuck, I adored how her eyes were crinkling at the corners.

We grabbed the nearest cab. When we told him where we were going, his eyes widened. It would be a journey. But we paid upfront, so the driver remained silent.

When we got to base, I almost cursed myself for not thinking about how we'd access all the areas.

But there was that mastercard. And they couldn't say no. They knew who I was, after all.

When we were in the gowning area, Jujubee and I helped each other into spacesuits. I was high with anticipation, ready to see what was on the other side, ready to do it all with Jujubee.

This was our dream.

Jujubee grabbed two helmets. One for her and one for me. She tossed it my way, and I caught it.

"Ready to go?" She asked.

"Absolutely." I extended my hand, and we made our way to the door.

The cold cool air was refreshing. My eyes travelled up and down the rocket. It was bigger than I imagined, and for a small second, I felt worthless. Like I was just Brianna Caldwell, a girl from a small town with no real purpose in this world.

But Jujubee slid her hand into mine. And I was reminded that all I had to do was shut my inner demons up. Because I did have a purpose. And I was something to someone. As long as I had her, that was all that mattered.

Jujubee smiled mischievously, pulling me along the bridge, leading me to the already opened door. She ducked down and climbed into the small space, and I followed.

It was disorientating at first, what with the rocket facing the sky. I feared I'd fall trying to get into my seat. But Jujubee continued to pull me along.

When we were seated, I wasted no time putting on my helmet and initiated the activation process.

I could feel Jujubee's smirk as I flicked at switches and pressed buttons. It only fueled my excitement.

A voice came through the radio, one of the engineers. We were bombarded with questions, demanding to know what we were doing, how it was too early for take off with no press to film it, all sorts of complaints.

But we didn't care.

When everything seemed ready to go, I put my hand on the lever. But before I pulled, I turned my head to her.

"Ready to see the flying horses?" I raised a brow.

"Just as ready as I am for the cats that bark." She breathed out a laugh through her nostrils.

With another smile, I pulled the lever. The ship was rumbling now, and my stomach was doing somersaults.

We both turned our attention to the sounds of protest from the engineers. They were livid now, shouting about how the media wasn't going to like this.

I lifted my hand up, flipping the source of the sound off. Jujubee cackled to my delight.

I put the intercom on mute. And the ship took off. Mom was gonna kill me for this. I'd definitely bring her back a gift. A new vase, maybe? Yeah. A vase from an entirely new world. Something new.

I looked forward, unable to see the ground below us. How high were we already? How long was left until we reached that crossover, the gateway?

My question was answered as the ship was illuminated by a bright light.

We did it, Grandpa. We did it.

[jd-loves-everyone]

Who are these 9 boys?

Kim Woojin: The 3rd year, chicken enthusiast with an angelic voice and an adorable smile.We met when we got paired up for a school trip. I was so nervous about being next to a 3rd year (that I didn’t know) that I barely looked at him for at least the first 30 minutes of the trip. His age plus his broad shoulders and tall stature, only served to intimidate me more. Oh, how wrong I was to think he’d be any bit intimidating.

In truth, his body type only added to his personality in a way that made him resemble a giant, cuddly, teddy bear.

He was gentle and polite as he tried to get me to come out of my tightly sealed shell, with lame jokes and the cutest laugh.

We even shared my earphones, which was how I found out about his utterly divine voice. After complimenting him, he blushed a pretty pink, and asked about my own hobbies and talents. After much prying, he was able to figure out that I also loved singing, but had little to no confidence at all in my own voice (especially after hearing his).

So by the end of the trip, he promised to help me show my voice to the world. And he’s unknowingly succeeded, considering that when we’re alone, he’s my whole world.

Bang Chan: The 3rd year, Student Council President and an aspiring artist, who was too afraid to take a step in the direction of his dreams, so he is now stuck in a path that he doesn’t want to follow.

He is also my neighbor, who gives me a ride to and from school everyday, I’ve learned a lot about him during these rides (and I can only guess, that so has he), like the fact he has a puppy (from the dog hair in his backseat) and that he writes music (really good music). He’s seen all of me: he’s heard me sing more than once (sorry Woojin) and I’ve even broken down in his car (and he held me through it).

I’ve already followed his advice many times, so I hope he follows mine, just once, and goes after his dreams.

Lee Minho: My first crush and the one who made me fall in love with dancing (and him too, in the process). No wonder he’s the captain of the school’s dance club. He’s just mesmerizing to watch.

Despite his very flirty nature, he’s not a player, just very friendly (maybe too friendly). And in spite of this, he still likes to fiercely declare that cats are better than people (especially his 3 cats: Dori, Soon-ie and Doong-ie). The reason why his contact name on my phone is “Crazy Cat Minho”.

Considering that when we first met (at 12 years old) we only spoke briefly, I didn’t expect him to remember me (or for him to have such a… colorful personality, considering his cold demeanor upon first meeting me), let alone want to get as close to me as he has become recently. He even invited me to his house a few times (his little brother is adorable, but he always seems to be staring oddly at me. Is there something on my face?)

I hope my longtime-brewing feelings for ‘The school’s dancing gem’ don’t change how close we’ve gotten, because I’ve really come to value him as a friend, more than just a crush.

Seo Changbin: The 2nd year “bad boy”, who’s really just a softie. Despite him being known as such for being part of the boxing club (and doing pretty good on it) and owning a motorcycle, he also works part-time at the cafe (there, I discovered that he has the cutest smile).

Even the way we met goes against the way he’s been stereotyped. He showed me (on my first, nerve-filled, day) the way to my class (which I later found out was nowhere near his own class).

I refuse to admit that my increased number of trips to the small, cozy cafe is for me to catch a glimpse of that beautiful smile, the fondness in his eyes as he talks to his little sister when she visits him at work, but it is most definitely not because of how much I’ve come to enjoy the giggle-filled conversations we have during his breaks and slower days. I instead like to blame it on my borderline addiction on coffee and hot chocolate.

I hope that, as time goes by, we can talk more. I’d love to see that wonderful smile directed at me more often. I just wish that he never invites me to one of his fights, because I don’t think I’d be able to handle seeing the wounds beneath all those band-aids he always wears.

Hwang Hyunjin: The school’s certified pretty boy (and the most popular one). He sits next to me in most classes, so I got to know him for not just his looks, but his intelligence as well, and during dance club, I got to know his humorous side and the passion he holds for dance. I also found that he is a lot shier than most would expect him to be.

There are just a few problems with my growing interest for him: 1- his crazy fangirls (who drive me crazy for only appreciating his visuals), 2- my childhood friend, Jisung, hates him (and it seems to be mutual) which makes for some interesting classes, considering I sit between them and 3- my, infinitely more talented, best friend, Maia, has a crush on him (at least she did last time we talked about it, which we don’t do often, for obvious reasons, so maybe it’s passed?)

Despite all of this, I can’t help but feel attracted to the boy with the purest giggle and an eye-smile brighter than the sun itself.

Han Jisung: My childhood friend, we’ve basically been joined at the hip since we met. Despite this, even he doesn’t know some of my deepest secrets. I didn’t tell him about most boys in this ‘list’, but every time I spoke about any of them, he acted like an overprotective brother, talking about how they didn’t deserve me and things like that. I don't even want to imagine what he would have said or done if I told him about my interest in Hyunjin, considering they're basically mortal enemies.

He’s the one Maia keeps pushing me to reveal my feelings to (because apparently, he'd be the most likely to return them. Something I don't agree with). Although she'd also like our boyfriends to be able to at least look at each other without rolling their eyes.

And I can see why she does this, I mean, he's handsome, adorable, thoughtful, reliable and knows me like very few people do. But, as cliché as it sounds, I don't want to ruin our friendship because it really means a lot to me.I sometimes wonder if simply by being his friend, I'm only hurting myself more.

Both his sisters treat me like family and I see them as the sisters I never had, during broadcast club (which we have together) I not only get to listen to his soft voice for long periods of time, I also get to experience how truly thoughtful and attentive he is everyone around him as he solves all the problems sent in by students with a gentleness I sometimes wished was directed at me more often.

Lee Felix: The 2nd year, australian transfer student, with the cutest freckles. I never thought I had a thing for accents, but Felix proved that, in fact, I do, and don't get me started on his voice, deep enough to make basically anyone swoon, it has nothing to do with his cute face (and even cuter personality). Before meeting Felix, I had no doubts that Hyunjin was the most handsome boy in school, but now I'm questioning that fact. There’s just something about him, everything fits so perfectly.

I still remember how lost he looked on his first day. With barely any decent English speakers other than myself and a few others, I inevitably became his korean tutor and quite close to him. With his talent for dancing I doubt he'll have problems getting a job, but I hope I can help him become fluent in time for the exams.

Kim Seungmin: My mother’s best friend's son (confusing, I know). The 1st year from the photography club, who asked me to go with him when he went abroad to continue his studies in college (at the time I said I’d think about it but I know it wouldn't be possible).

We met at his mom's birthday party, where we kept each other company throughout the (screeching-filled) event, as the other kids were much younger than the both of us.

In that one afternoon (that dragged on to night), I found out a lot about him, like the fact that his dream is to become a world-known photographer, or the fact that he is incredibly shy (I had to start the conversation even after about 5 minutes of sitting in awkward silence) and because of this, he doesn't smile much, only giving me small, polite and tight smiles in the beginning of our conversation. I was only able to get a real smile out of him when I glanced at one of the pictures on the wall, complimenting him on it. He immediately got this light in his eyes, even if he (at first) tried to act bashful. After I praised his vision, his smile turned wide, broad and genuine as he went on and on about his passion.

On that night, I also found out something about myself, the fact that I'd do anything to keep that beautiful smile on his face, even if it took him away from me.

Yang Jeongin: My new, 1st year, neighbor and Seungmin’s best friend.We actually met once Seungmin told me how desperately in need of help he was in English. So, despite my already busy schedule, I offered to help him. And, after discovering that he had recently moved into the house across from mine, we walked home together (after cancelling my plans with Chan).

The boy was friendly from the start, lively, energetic, and all around an actual ball of sunshine.

With so much love to give and so little confidence in things like his wonderful voice, I suspect he hasn't received a lot of love back. I wish I could be the one to give it to him. I guess I should take Woojin’s advice and get him to come out of his shell too.But with how often he seems to blush around me, I doubt he has enough experience with girls to know what a crush even feels like and I'd hate to confuse him with my own feelings.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: never seen a kid 😢 at a haircut Jimmy: before you say owt, it ain't even done yet so it don't look shit Janis: Poor Bobs Janis: bribe him with sweets after like it's the dentist Janis: I can get some on my way back Jimmy: throw him at your family pinging and well mad fer the party 😂 Jimmy: tah for the invite lads Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you know Janis: can't get him on the pre drinks so Jimmy: I'll set him up with a shot glass full of fizzy pop Jimmy: sorted Janis: 🙌 Janis: party don't stop Janis: what about Twix Janis: she'll feel left out Jimmy: 🎶 or start til you walk in, babe #obvs Jimmy: 💔🐶🎻 Jimmy: I'd reckon on letting her trash the place but that's any day she's left alone for 1 sec Janis: Naturally Janis: why else would I need to be there so bad Janis: she's just bored #relatable Jimmy: life and soul, my dear Jimmy: you and your true love wasted on this place Janis: sad but #truthbomb Janis: [sends him socials of the decor that are already up] Janis: I know I've been telling you but seriously Janis: see and believe and prepare Jimmy: fucking hell Jimmy: too late to ask 💀👑 to be your date instead or what? Janis: hmm Janis: would probably be my easy ticket out Janis: and she'd be thrilled for so many reasons Jimmy: crack on then Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on, no challenge in it Janis: only a further challenge on my sanity, like Jimmy: turn round, I've sent the orchestra after you Jimmy: Bob's gonna save you a tissue an' all Janis: lovely Janis: just one he's not blown his nose in, tah Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: buy us 🚬 when you're at the shop Jimmy: 🤞💀💀💀 Janis: sure Janis: death pact sounds good rn Jimmy: right there next to you, Juliet Jimmy: headfirst off the balcony if nowt else Janis: honestly Janis: love to fuck up their marble floor Jimmy: least if you play up enough you might get a new pony out of it Jimmy: fuck knows where we'll put it but the kids will be #buzzing Janis: piss off Janis: don't even like horses Janis: or you Jimmy: I know that's bollocks, rich girl Janis: glue factory, both of yous Jimmy: 💕🐴 Jimmy: 💕😎 Jimmy: I'll buy you a heart shaped locket when our #truelove turns 1 Jimmy: space with pics for all your faves Janis: 😒 Janis: I'll throw it into the ocean Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: gonna make me 😢😢 too Janis: s'alright, draw a masterpiece and I'll share the door Janis: don't hate you either, not completely Jimmy: every bit's a masterpiece with you as my muse, baby Jimmy: 🥇🎨 Janis: gonna get whiplash if you keep doing these 180s boy Jimmy: get you out of this party, won't it? 😘 Janis: your plan all along Janis: 💔 me so I've got a get out of jail free card Janis: not worked for Gracie, like Jimmy: gotta be 💕 to get 💔 Janis: she was Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: our fake was realer than that Janis: not with him, obviously Janis: 💀👑💕 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you know it's real Janis: as real as she gets Jimmy: a love story to rival me and my ex that one Jimmy: bout as many break and make ups as we had too, like Janis: I wouldn't try and console her Janis: never get away Janis: more 😭 than the kid Jimmy: I can't 💪 and 🤐 you said Jimmy: I ain't cuddling her Janis: better not Jimmy: not in my 💰💰 party clothes, tah Jimmy: wouldn't be 💋 on my collar, it'd be half her face Janis: 😂 Janis: you have no idea Jimmy: I'm not trying to find out what she #wakesuplike or owt else Jimmy: 💔 Gracie I know Janis: 😏 reckon she's over it, babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💔 I know Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: [sends selfies that Bobby has taken of himself post haircut] Jimmy: heartbreaker not heartbroken now he is Jimmy: he needed you to see ALL 23 of them identical pics so he reckoned Janis: He looks so good Janis: very 😎 Jimmy: using every bit of my 💪 to stop him taking my phone to give you a bell Janis: n'awh he can if he wants Janis: am at the shop so get your order in Jimmy: [cute little phone call moment including Jimmy telling Bobby to ask her to buy all kinds of silly stuff cos nerd] Janis: [so cute, when they'd all be used to each other now and like a mini fam soz ian not soz] Jimmy: [even Cass would like Janis by now, such a squad, fuck off Ian] Janis: [get her something for dinner just in case 'cos too cool for this party obvs] Jimmy: [and we know Ian ain't gonna give a shit as long as he's okay himself so] Janis: actually 😍 Jimmy: how soon can we palm him off though? Jimmy: doing my head in if he ain't yours Janis: so mean, you Janis: go 'head and wish for this party to start tho Jimmy: you're alright Janis: mhmm Janis: this is gonna be a disaster, not even a funny one Jimmy: what's the scale? Janis: you wanna hear about the worst party this family has ever, like? Janis: 'cos you need to give me like 3-5 working days to work that out Jimmy: just working out if today's the day for us to say yeah to drugs instead of nah or if decimating Ian's drink supply before he gets back will do Janis: no doubt they'll have it out like hors d'oeuvres Janis: rich people Jimmy: what the fuck are them? Jimmy: I know that weren't paddy lingo but you still lost me Janis: party food Janis: pineapple and cheese on a stick but make it 💸 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: brush some edible gold leaf on it Janis: exactly Janis: make some poor cunt in a tux hand it out Janis: they aren't quite that level, well Janis: I don't think they'll have 'staff' anyway or 🤢 Jimmy: could've had a word for me, babe Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: missing out on a lot of tips to be there Janis: if you really wanna make it weird, I'll pay you myself Janis: idiot Jimmy: I've been waiting ages to unlock that final kink of yours Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: There you go then Janis: all comes out Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: really cheered me that has Janis: you'll forgive me for the hors d'oeuvres then Janis: so glad Jimmy: put a bit more work in and I might Janis: you work, I pay Janis: silly Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: keep giving them orders, girl Janis: 😏 Janis: if we didn't have somewhere to be Jimmy: we don't yet Janis: no, but you can't actually ditch bobs Jimmy: I'll throw him at Cass for a bit when we get back, she's getting time off later Janis: True Janis: not above it but not ideal getting drunk enough to deal in front of him, like Jimmy: I'm texting her now Jimmy: and we're on the bus Jimmy: be home well soon Janis: 👍 Janis: race you there Jimmy: piss off I ain't driving the bus Jimmy: that ain't fair Janis: if you ain't up to the challenge Janis: 😂 Jimmy: leave it out or you ain't getting your present Janis: locket? Jimmy: not what I've got in my pocket right now but I love that you're thinking long term Jimmy: very keen you Janis: 🤔👀 Jimmy: you gonna guess or what? Janis: 🍾 Janis: umm Janis: did you get some shampoo Janis: idk Jimmy: my subtle hint that you need to sort yourself out, like Jimmy: not that much of a dickhead Janis: I've got no clue Jimmy: Are you telling me you wanna shower with me? 'Cause not fuming about it Janis: I was thinking where you was last but you know Janis: can't show up stinking can we Jimmy: If getting kicked out is the goal, probably should Jimmy: but I Janis: wanna give me my present Janis: I get it Jimmy: and you want it off me Janis: yeah Janis: I do Jimmy: you're so Janis: you Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext because always and any opportunity] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: what? Janis: just Janis: be here now Jimmy: just wait for me Jimmy: won't be as long as it feels Janis: I miss you Jimmy: I want you Janis: as soon as you're back Janis: 'til the last possible minute Jimmy: Yeah Janis: didn't want to go but now I really, really don't wanna go anywhere but the shower, like Jimmy: Ian ain't there to bang on the door, it's alright Janis: 😏 maybe he's just trying to keep us in time Janis: helpful, really Jimmy: sounds proper fake that Janis: probably Janis: just tryna spread those posi vibes Janis: you know me, babe Jimmy: such a ray of sunshine you Jimmy: what I'm always telling people that is Janis: awh, who you talkin' 'bout me to, boy? Jimmy: the 🌏 babe Janis: 😍 #thatdemotho Janis: you spoil me Janis: that my gift, yeah? #freepromo Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: know the way to your 💘 Janis: just can't quit being goals, can you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: be here now Janis: I'm done waiting Jimmy: Hang on, I'll throw the driver off Jimmy: only a few stops Janis: probably distracted with his 😍 Jimmy: if the kid weren't here everyone on this bus would be Janis: 💔 that Janis: actually Jimmy: has Cass shown up at ours yet? Jimmy: I told her to take him out Janis: yeah Janis: her mates here too they're raiding the cupboards Jimmy: that lad again? 🙄 Janis: alright, dad Janis: nice of you to pop in 😂 Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're so cute Jimmy: you're a dickhead Janis: don't get aggy with me Janis: I ain't got my mans over Jimmy: Mia be round any sec though, will she? Jimmy: make myself scarce for a bit then Janis: 🖕 Janis: so funny, you Jimmy: save that for her Jimmy: 💕 Janis: the fakery? Janis: sure Janis: I'm a pro now Jimmy: that and the hand gestures Janis: easy now Janis: not tossing her off Janis: and it's a different gesture, anyway Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: trying to tell me I've been doing it wrong, are you? Jimmy: first I've heard Jimmy: and very subtle of you, mate Janis: 😂 Janis: you know Janis: been thinking how to bring it up and now seemed like the perfect opportunity tbh Jimmy: you'll have a perfect opportunity to show me how I can do better in a bit Janis: it's a date, loser Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [showing up cos why not do a lil skip lol] Janis: just chilling in the kitchen with cass and her mate like hey] Jimmy: [100% her mate is the Tyler kid in my head lol but yeah don't be rude and kick them out immediately, do pass the sweets Janis got round tho shameless bribe which reminds me her gift was a lollipop he swiped from the hairdresser for well behaved kids cos drunken throwback they don't remember but we do so he can give her that too like] Jimmy: [Bobby showing everyone his hair and loving life P.S] Janis: [love that, being shamelessly buzzing 'cos about those nerdy gestures forever and you get to be #seductive on the low] Janis: [get it bab, you look fresh] Jimmy: [could not resist and never will bye] Jimmy: [that little kiddo being less shy fuck me up] Janis: [get your confidence live your life bb] Jimmy: [making everyone a cuppa even though you want them to fuck off #northern] Janis: [when you're rood (but not really) so you're like we've got to get ready bye] Jimmy: [only so much eye fucking and accidental touching and seduction via lolly you can handle before you g2g] Janis: [truly, in that shower boys] Jimmy: [casually really long shower soz not soz Ian] Janis: enjoy that waterbill] Jimmy: [then actually get dressed and get drinking but it's obvs still flirty af] Janis: [the vibe, 'cos don't need to dwell on what a non mood this party is] Jimmy: [literally he'd be distracting her so hard, so many kisses it'd be a miracle that anything else gets done, lowkey helping each other dress just so you can keep touching and being soft] Janis: ['you look good' 'cos he did despite the dresscode] Jimmy: [does a drinks cheers because thanks and also she does too we know it] Janis: [cheersing with glee 'cos a few drinks in and being with the bae you don't feel completely like kms] Janis: ['not as good as Bobby but you know, you'll do'] Jimmy: [runs his hands through his hair dramatically cos got a lil trim but nothing worth mentioning and doing a pouty face for the pisstake 'take him then, I'll stay here'] Janis: [hugging him tight like no] Jimmy: [hugging her back as tight just because and hands in her hair likewise and more kisses just because] Janis: ['I promise I'll make it fun' 'cos sorry to be dragging him into this mess but gotta lol] Jimmy: ['If I'm with you, I'm having a good one' cos true even in this instance ultimately] Janis: [literal sincere hearteyes] Jimmy: [give them right back so its a moment] Janis: [just snuggling like 'let's run away okay'] Jimmy: ['alright, we're decently dressed for life on the run' but being soft with your touches cos you want to as well] Janis: [sniffs, 'yeah, new identity ready, like'] Jimmy: ['forgot your former name already, me'] Janis: [lols 'be more believable if you hadn't been saying it so much in the shower, boy' 😏] Jimmy: ['soz, I thought you only wanted me mute at the party, like' 😏 Janis: [makes face like no and a 'n'awh' sound 'I don't want you like that, you just ain't gonna have nothing to say to 'em, me either, like'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna say nowt to 'em, just you' no offense fam but that's the tea] Janis: [nods 'cos same and not like she's that bitch to say you must lmao] Jimmy: [tops both their drinks up because that speaks for itself] Janis: [drinking and snuggling] Jimmy: [enjoy the alone time while you can kids] Janis: [just telling him about the 'decent' (bit rude) kids that'll be there for bobby to play with] Jimmy: [he'll be having a lovely time at least] Janis: [and at least as bouj as they are it's not like they're most fancy house 'cos he's still in school so can't be living fully lavish] Jimmy: [makes me lol god bless those extra bitches] Jimmy: [let's say he puts music on for them cos kids could be back any time and wanna stay in their own bubble as long as they can] Janis: [throwback to all those times, appreciated] Jimmy: [casual playlist of all those van hook ups lol] Janis: [if anything is gonna get you in the mood tbh] Jimmy: [enjoy it kids] Janis: [in your new bed bowchicka] Jimmy: [that for once isn't full of a pup and a kid so it still feels as small as a single usually #rude] Janis: [hope you've not put your fancy clothes on yet lol] Jimmy: [dressed and undressed haha priorities] Jimmy: [Jimmy'd be like me and not put them on til the last min in case they get messed up] Janis: [sensible, better than turning up all awry like what you been up to 😏] Jimmy: [they don't need the pisstaking today fam they're trying to stay in a good mood] Janis: [just like 'fucking obvs wbu'] Jimmy: [don't ask if you don't wanna know tbh] Janis: [truly, how long are we giving you lads before Ian's back being a hoe] Jimmy: [give 'em long enough to enjoy that new bed and be a few more drinks in but yeah he should probably appear soon to give him the most time to be a knob before they get be like oh bye Ian lowkey maybe they think it's the kids coming back so they're like alright cool they're earlier than we expected so loads of time to get Bobs ready but then no, it's that fool Janis: [when you're lowkey like should I stay in here 'til we're ready to go 'cos Ian hates you lol] Jimmy: [she should if only so they can type to each other for a bit] Jimmy: 🙄💀💀💀🙄 Janis: real life and soul has arrived Jimmy: can you hear us celebrating down here? Jimmy: 🎉 keep it down, knobhead 🍾 Janis: been to plenty parties like that Janis: but Ian, the vibe is 💎💎💎💋🌸🌺🎀 Janis: get with it Jimmy: 🍀 standard fare that, be why he fits right in on this street Jimmy: you don't wanna take him in my place then? Jimmy: 💀👑 gonna be thrilled to still be 🥇 like Janis: they should date Janis: start an anti-fan club for me Janis: cute 💕 Jimmy: stop trying to make me vom Jimmy: so kinky you Janis: tryna save you, babe Janis: sure she's dead distracting Janis: soz sue or whoever it is rn Jimmy: I'll take her over Mia as my new mum tah Janis: she will find her in Janis: stop fighting it, boy Jimmy: Take your own advice before you hand it out to me, mate Janis: 🤐 shh Jimmy: 💕 Janis: she's coming for his 👑 in the dickhead stakes though so maybe it won't work Janis: too much competition 💪👎 Jimmy: what like there can only be 1? 🍀 town's full of twats Janis: ask her, she'd tell you Janis: don't share the throne, babes Jimmy: hang on, I'll slide in her DMs for a change Jimmy: shock might 🔪🔪💀👻 Janis: 🤞 Janis: needs distracting from her story rampage Jimmy: ? Janis: ugh, usual Janis: now her and gracie aren't bffs forever she don't have to hold back with slaggin on her and spilling all that tea, sis Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Jimmy: rather have this twat in my 👂 than eyes on that bollocks Jimmy: tah Ian Janis: tell him it's his turn to say something nice now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🔊 I'm waiting Jimmy: take your turn, he's skipping his Janis: About Ian? Janis: Hmm Janis: he makes cute kids Janis: I guess Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: come and get the little one, he needs to get ready not hear this shit Janis: 👍 Janis: [does and gives him a subtle shoulder squeeze as she goes] Jimmy: [runs away as soon as he can cos you know Cass is good for making Ian kick off/taking his full attention so they could just get Bobby ready and be cute though you can tell Jimothy is forlorn]] Janis: [not saying anything but keeping Bobby chatting and hyped about this party and showing him pics of relevant kids so he won't be as shy to meet them] Jimmy: [just 😍 cos that's so nice and so cute and he is full of love] Janis: [just smiling at him and doing lots of subtle small reassuring touches] Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you Janis: fuck the rest, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: [gives him a sneaky kiss 'cos kids be like ewwww lol] Jimmy: let's just go Jimmy: if not to the party yet just Janis: 'course, all dressed up like Janis: kid needs an audience rn 😎 Jimmy: bit rude if our kid's just taken 1000s of pics of you on that old camera I let him have Jimmy: my muse not his Janis: there's enough inspo to go around baby Jimmy: weren't a challenge but take it as one any time you like, girl Janis: [posing for Bobby and pulling all kinds of faces whilst getting one of his jackets on like let's ride] Janis: what challenge Jimmy: [counts how many poses/faces she's doing casually] Jimmy: you owe me a photoshoot later Jimmy: see what you reckon then Janis: see what you reckon when I hit you with my hourly rate Janis: owes me so many sweets, that one Jimmy: Nah, rich girl, I work and you pay Jimmy: your words them Jimmy: [we on the move though fuck you Ian and good luck being stuck with that Cass] Janis: [seriously that'll be fun for you both lowkey] Janis: you think I'm gonna pay for the pleasure? Jimmy: as long as you feel it I don't give a fuck if you don't get the cash out Jimmy: but we can keep that between us Jimmy: #golddigger if anyone asks obvs Janis: 'course Janis: why else would you be with me Janis: just keep that off the 'gram, naturally Janis: [walking and talking with Bobs, obvs, sneaky convos ftw] Jimmy: I'll put the list on the 'gram in a bit Jimmy: let you know, like Janis: how very goals of you Janis: even if you're gonna have to ignore me to write it, like 😏 Jimmy: fuck that, it basically writes itself Jimmy: [a look cos so in love bitch] Janis: you look good Janis: did I tell you Jimmy: might've done Jimmy: I need to tell you Jimmy: come here Janis: [moves closer like hello] Jimmy: [whispering all these compliments and generally hot af things in her ear like] Janis: [when you nudge him like excuse me but it's just an excuse to snuggle into his side, we see you] Jimmy: [soz baby bobs but we gotta do another sneaky kiss here that may or may not be that sneaky soz again] Janis: [he'd be less grossed than cass and we all know it] Jimmy: [yeah and he's probs using his camera on himself/the scenery as they walk along anyways so] Janis: ['how's it feel having a mini-me?'] Jimmy: [shrugs cos used to it 'better than it'd feel Ian having one' cos that's the tea] Janis: [nods like ain't that the truth] Jimmy: [when you openly snuggle into her side without any excuse cos ugh he's the worst and you know he's been saying shit as standard] Janis: [taking your hand out of the pocket to hold his 'another pro of Mia, she's definitely infertile, no more Ians ever'] Jimmy: [little lol because you can't even help it] Jimmy: ['imagine the school lunch she'd pack, tah mum'] Janis: ['those appetite-suppressing lollipops are well kid-friendly'] Jimmy: ['do need this kid off my hands to have a smoke though so if you could give her a bell now that'd be decent'] Janis: ['um, cigarettes are the OG appetite-supressors, HELLO!' taps his head like think on but gestures like, you want me to go ahead with him or] Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him and holds onto her dramatically because no #bantsbutalsotherealest] Janis: [doing that half walk half dance you have to do when you're holding onto each other and still moving for a while 'cos not going] Jimmy: [giving her the realest intense don't leave me look before you can stop yourself because the neediest softest boy ever bye] Janis: [just looking back not faltering 'I ain't gonna leave you alone with 'em, if only for the purely selfish reason I don't wanna be alone with 'em either'] Jimmy: [a hug moment that he really needs and is made cuter by Bobby joining in cos they a lil fam] Janis: [love a group hug moment, live your best life, ain't no one stop you, especially not Ian bye] Jimmy: [shakes his head at himself like get your shit together now boy] Janis: [puts Bobby's shades down for him 'cos cool kid and mimics the same at him like you got this babe] Jimmy: [a wonderful hand squeeze of thanks and hand holding the rest of the way] Janis: [squad roll up honey] Jimmy: [let's do this lads, take a deep breath before the pink hits you but] Janis: [literal deep breath as if you're not gonna do your best to do the bare minimum of socializing before finding a cosy corner] Jimmy: [god bless, can't even shade you two cos its gonna be so awks, I can so clearly hear and see Venus' dad's extraness like] Janis: [as much as she's 😒 at least he's met cali enough for that to not be unbearable just keep rio away lowkey lol] Jimmy: [we all know they are gonna take a smoke break the first chance they get full offense everybody but could be worse cos grace is lowkey tipsy af already so] Janis: [just exchanging a look but not a sexy look with him like okay and we were pre-drinking] Jimmy: #whitegirlwasted Jimmy: you might've taught me that but she's reminding me Janis: 😂 Janis: she's an education in all things white alright Jimmy: 👌👌 Jimmy: [okay but Jimmy chatting to Indie cos she's brought Astrid and he's got Bobs and remember when he was like 10/10 would bang lol] Janis: [just off securing that bitch vodka] Jimmy: [take it girl you're gonna want it] Janis: [talking to Rio (and Buster and Venus' dad etc) without him 'cos you wanna keep her away 'cos embarrassing] Jimmy: [he's just settling Bobs in but he's got loads of kids and hippie brother so he's buzzing unlike most of these guests] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: all good? Jimmy: you alright? Janis: you know Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: that's about the gist of it, yeah Jimmy: what are you drinking, girl? Janis: that's a poor excuse for chat, boy Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: do you want one or what? Janis: obviously Jimmy: 🏃 me Jimmy: hang on Janis: you offered Jimmy: [brings her that beverage and knocks their glasses together] Janis: ['careful, wouldn't wanna spill anything'] Jimmy: [gives her a look because she wanted to spill their blood on the marble not that long ago lol] Janis: [shrugs like what] Jimmy: [shrugs back like what cos always] Janis: [🙄 and dranking] Jimmy: [we all drinking] Janis: this is so ugly Jimmy: it's 💎💎💎💋🌸🌺🎀 Jimmy: get it right babes Janis: my point still stands Jimmy: smack me, I'll get a clashing colour nosebleed and we'll have to leave Janis: alright, sounds fun Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: you wish Jimmy: when I blow out the kid's candles in a bit you'll have to do it 👸 Janis: [does mini lol] Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: [starts heading out in response] Jimmy: [following the bae] Janis: ['we shoulda got another pack' as she's tapping two out, like no time for sharing] Jimmy: [gives her a playful look like literally you had one job 'I'll go in a bit' but obvs he means on the way back he's not just gonna leave her lol] Janis: ['I'm an optimist, I didn't think it'd be this bad, sue me' 😏] Jimmy: [little lol 'why we're such a good match, duh'] Janis: ['for now, anyway'] Jimmy: [💔 with his hands] Janis: ['believable'] Janis: [does 👎] Jimmy: [does OTT sad face and fake crying like is that better?] Janis: ['if you want sympathy you gotta aim it at your new, not your old' taps her head, like Jimmy: [👍 IRL like tah for that] Janis: ['in you go' shoos 'cos so polite] Jimmy: [playfight moment cos oi] Janis: ['stop it' but a LOOk obvs] Jimmy: [a look back like make me cos distract yourselves with being flirty af kids] Janis: [shakes her head 'I'm busy' takes pause to inhale to prove point then exhales 'ask your friend instead'] Jimmy: ['which one, got so many friends, me'] Janis: [just makes face like you know] Jimmy: [makes a face back like no I don't] Janis: [rolls her eyes but not agressively so add the smirky face, like, 'good job you're pretty, babe'] Jimmy: [bats his eyelashes at her in an OTT way and makes a kissy face, it's almost like Grace is in the room lol] Janis: [makes a vom face and pushes him away 'no, you're dumped, get out'] Jimmy: [hair flip and walk away but not far away thanks] Janis: ['technically, half of these are yours' and shakes the cigs at him] Jimmy: ['not til you say yeah to tying the knot, babe, today the day?'] Janis: ['obviously, this-' gestures around '-is all I really want'] Jimmy: ['obviously'] Janis: [shakes head and sighs, 'least bobby's having fun, like'] Jimmy: [nods because that's the best he could expect as an outcome tbh] Janis: [kicks at his shins but softly not actual 'cheer up'] Jimmy: [is all like oi cos fancy clothes but not actually mad obvs 'alright, challenge accepted'] Janis: [looks at him expectantly] Jimmy: [hits her with a 'what?' as standard] Janis: ['come here, idiot'] Jimmy: [does of course] Janis: [sneaky garden makeouts forever] Jimmy: [take what you can get kids, probably gonna have to go back in before too long] Janis: [Astrid probably having a meltdown so you gotta go in to check on the kid you brought lol] Jimmy: [Indie just gotta leave with her so the numbers are dwindling #awks] Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔💔🎻🎻 Janis: really should've scaled this back, all things considered Jimmy: but the 💎💎💎💋🌸🌺🎀 Jimmy: actually would be 💔 Jimmy: it's a 3 💎 event, girl Janis: for who Jimmy: everyone #obvs Janis: I repeat Janis: who Jimmy: your horse would be feeling it if you'd brought her along 👸👑🐴💕 Janis: can't bring a horse for a date Janis: not that kind of horse girl Jimmy: 😂 Janis: gutting, I know Janis: not even afer the honeymoon Jimmy: might be a challenge too far competing with 🐴🍆like, 💪🏆 as I am Jimmy: so you're alright Janis: 😂 Janis: no amount of 🍀 gonna help you Janis: 🤷 soz Jimmy: 💕 meant to help me, Juliet Jimmy: choose me 😍💘 Janis: you've always said how much I love horses so Janis: how could I Jimmy: 😭😭💔💀💀💀 Jimmy: on you go then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: Missed a perfect opportunity to go with fuck you and the horse you rode in on Janis: which is why I already dumped you so Jimmy: missed a perfect opportunity to leave with Indie an' all but I've still got the orchestra to see me out Janis: 🎺 'cos you're not funny Jimmy: bit rude Janis: have we met Jimmy: dunno, my mrs does have a very different #aesthetic Janis: lucky her Jimmy: she's going out with me, she's well lucky #duh Janis: mhmm Janis: I'm gonna politely smile 'til you go away now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can I trust you not to spike my drink, creeper Janis: too many of my family members are congregating and I can't Jimmy: no need, give it a bit and you'll do the work of being gone yourself, lightweight Janis: fuck off Janis: how you gonna say that when she's stood right there Janis: barely Jimmy: you want me to start comparing you and her? Jimmy: not that thick or ready to 💀💀💀 tah Janis: Changed your tune Jimmy: so fickle me Janis: clearly Jimmy: keeping up with you, I reckon Jimmy: am I dumped or your #goals boyfriend bringing you drinks and whatever else your heart desires? Janis: you wanted the gig Janis: tux sadly not included Jimmy: [obvs brings her drinks tho cos needs them himself anyway] Janis: ['cheers'] Jimmy: sláinte pisshead 💕 Janis: be nice Jimmy: you Janis: I am Janis: so nice Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: where? Janis: [😒] Jimmy: go on, get your #receipts out Janis: why are you being a dick for Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: [😒 and an actual pout not the emoji kind] Jimmy: [gotta kiss that pout soz fam] Janis: [not soz, claim this corner lads] Jimmy: [being really nice to her rn like come back to meeeeeeeee and be my friend again] Jimmy: [I like to imagine Grace being a salty single from afar] Janis: [when you're so over this whole mood you ain't even arsed about the attention your PDA will get either way] Jimmy: [likewise only care about the bae and making this more bearable for her so soz but not soz at all actually] Janis: ['sorry' when you take a sec 'cos actual] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and not just saying it] Janis: ['it's stupid but' shrugs 'cos what can you do 'soon as they cut the cake, I swear'] Jimmy: [just snuggling her cos he'll be here as long as it takes and so much love] Janis: [just forgetting your rep and being soft for a sec] Jimmy: [#ultimategoals 5eva nobody else exists bye] Janis: ['I actually fucking love you, you know'] Jimmy: [when you're kissing her but you can't stop smiling the whole time because always gonna get you when she says that] Janis: ['I mean it' not like she doesn't think he believes her but 'cos she do and that's crazy if you ever stop and think about it which they clearly don't #nochill] Jimmy: [giving her the most intense heart eyes cos he knows and it's so mutual] Janis: [just snuggling] Jimmy: [let them have all the moments I am unrepentant af] Jimmy: [just whispering all the nice things to her like how much he loves her and how important all of this is to him etc because he could be saying anything fam its not for you] Janis: [when your face probably looks like you're #scandalized but really it's 'cos it's not saucy and that gets you harder] Jimmy: [if you didn't wanna leave before you really do now so you can just be properly alone gdi] Janis: [gonna have someone cockblock, probably one of your parents trying to talk to you like now lads okay lol] Jimmy: [rude but real] Jimmy: do you wanna just fuck off for a bit after this? Jimmy: catch a train or a lift like Janis: yes Janis: always, like Jimmy: nobody'll be at the caravan if they've all had to come here Jimmy: don't have to be there though Janis: a good base if nothing else Janis: but we can go anywhere Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: have to drop the kid back first, change out of this shit Jimmy: can grab the dog if you're both gonna be 💔💔 Janis: can't you bring the braces 😏 Janis: hmm, maybe Janis: the less responsibilities we leave for Cass/Ian, the less arsed everyone will be Jimmy: depends, are you taking the piss or what? Jimmy: and yeah but that don't mean I'm taking the kids meaning he'll still need me to leave classic FM blasting for him Janis: Would I do a thing like that Janis: you know you still look fit Janis: 🎻 obvs Janis: don't want him to enjoy himself ever Janis: just not ban me and 💀you Jimmy: stop looking at me like that or you'll 💀 me Janis: I can't help it Janis: not my fault everything else in here is offensively 🎀🌺🌸💎💎💋 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: love you too Jimmy: and how impressively you backhand them compliments Janis: gotta keep you grounded, babe Jimmy: then, as I said, stop looking at me like that, babe Jimmy: #groundednotintheground Janis: you're so Janis: make everyone go away Jimmy: how many bathrooms does this place have? Jimmy: let's hide in one for a bit Janis: more than one Janis: and there ain't enough guests here that they need to be queuing Janis: come interrupt so I can show you Jimmy: [does and can because has never been here before so legit wouldn't know where to go] Janis: [off you run children] Jimmy: [someone'll come find you if they need you for birthday things and you aren't back so take all the moments] Janis: [also none of you are stupid you know what's happening so leave 'em for a hot sec tbh] Jimmy: [mhmm all of y'all have pull these same tricks at some point and we know it] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [do we want skerries again or somewhere different?] Janis: [should go somewhere different why not] Jimmy: [yeah I'm thinking get the train/hitchhike until they are fed up and then just get out cos destination ain't the important bit] Janis: [a mood] Jimmy: [feels real even they come back tomorrow, being gone long isn't the point either really] Janis: [exactly, it's just about leaving]

[carli-in-the-morning]

Thought Dump/Anxious Ramble

[QUICK WARNING: this is gonna have my unfiltered anxious thoughts here about getting people in trouble, backing out of things, feeling lost & scared & not knowing what to do. If you don't wanna read or deal with my stupid 15 year old anxiety, I completely understand, scroll on by]

Howdy hey! I've had....a terrible awful horrible no good very bad day. And this is that. But first! Some context for our tale.

So I am a self appointed not great person. I'm not a good role model. I do things that are kinda not what your supposed to. Namely, I go out at 2 in the morning and hang with my friends. But Cho, you may ask, how is that not what you're supposed to do? It's actually, where I live, illegal to go outside past 10 pm if you are my age. You can face fines for it. But I do it anyway, been doing it for about a year now. I have only EVER been caught ONCE, but that was by my parents as I sat on our basement floor. They brushed it off and let it be, so really, I've never gotten into any trouble for this. I typically had only gone out with my one girl friend, we'll call her Beth. But last month, I convinced my one guy friend to come out with me, we'll call him Tony. Tony is very new to it all, but Beth and I aren't. He hasn't gotten the entire stealth down pack yet. Which brings us to why I've been having a bad day.

Last night, since I was cat sitting for my grandparents, I had part of the house all to myself. Which fucking ruled, I could get in and out no problemo, and we could even chill at my place. Which we did. He came over, we played Smash (I did horrible), fucked around on Sims, and had a pleasant time. Now, it's a weekday. His dad and grandma wake up earlier in weekdays because...jobs. I asked when Tony wanted to be home by, he said we could leave at like 5:00 (10 minute walk, he'd be home at 5:10)....or he proposed he could stay later and wait for his dad to leave, so we'd leave at like 7:00, get him home at 7:10 (we actually ended up leaving at 7:20ish...so...). I said, as long as he was sure he wouldn't get caught, I was fine with that. We had a blast and then I walked with him most of the way home. I go home, sit down and judt kinda chill. Low and behold, I get a text. (All messages paraphrased for privacy sake):

Tony: Door in was stuck. Good news, my grandma was still home and let me in without asking any questions. Bad news, she might tell my mom that I was outside for no reason at 7:30. But maybe she won't!

Me: Just say you went on a walk after you got woken up by a cat. Don't tell the full truth, but certainly don't lie.

Tony: Yeah, I went for a walk and the door got stuck.

Me: Exactly

Okay....not ideal. But he has an alibi thought out and there's a chance he won't need it. I'm not that concerned. I go about my day, then I get a message on Discord at 5 something in the afternoon:

Tony: So, my mom found out. She's firm on me never doing this again and it all ends now. So, if we wanna do this again, then we're gonna need to wait a long while. I don't think she'll know I can contact you here, so let's chat here.

Me: oof

Tony: In hindsight, maybe we shouldn't have done it so often.

Me: Yeah, but for now lay low. Do everything you can to be helpful and good. Be an angel child and if your parents catch on, say that you just felt guilty and upset for dissapointing them.

Tony: I'll try to fix my sleep schedule as a start, try and get that in check

Me: Yeah, do that. That's a good idea.

Tony: also my mom has my phone. She looked through our texts and said if she caught us again, she'd tell your mom.

Now that....is beyond terrifying. If my mom knew I did this......I'd be dead. She'd cook me and serve me for dinner. My ass would get kicked into the year 3928. Oh, and another bit of context. I had been planning a movie day in two days for Tony and another friend of ours, let's call him Chris. Apparently Tony had not asked his mom yet.

Me: So how much trouble are you in rn, getting in more trouble to watch movies with Chris and I is not a smart idea.

Tony: Uh-huh...because asking to go to watch movies with the girl I've been sneaking out with is entirely clever.

Tony: also, she saw in your contact info that "she said I had a big dick" (inside joke)

Me: oh excellent

Tony: I dont think I ever told my fam you're gay

Me: least of our fucking concerns, we'll deal with that later. Right now I wanna get you in the clear.

Tony: can't do anything rn dude

So. Now onto my anxiety.

I am so fucking scared right now, because the entire time we've been doing this, I've preached that I'd rather take my fingernails off with a bottle opener than get him in trouble, which is true. I would so much rather get myself in trouble than him, and yet not only did I fail myself, I failed him. I told him repeatedly that I wouldn't let him get in trouble, and now he is and it's my fault. I should've remembered that his grandma woke up early too, he told me that. I should've reminded him. I didn't. Or I should've pushed for him to leave earlier or I should've kept him later. Or I should've never convinced him to join my stupid antics. And because of me and my faults, he's now in hot water. It is entirely my fucking fault. And not only did I get him in trouble, I could've run the risk of getting myself in trouble. Which is a death sentence in my house.

And also! That movie day? Yeah, so, Chris does soccer. And currently he had a very busy soccer lifestyle. His phone is also broken. So he had to put in literal effort to respond to me in the planning process. He just gave the okay for doing it. And now Tony can't go, and I don't wanna cancel on Chris after he A) said he was looking forward to it. And B) put in effort to make the time to respond to me and make this work for him. I'd feel like a bitch for cancelling. But most of the movies we are gonna watch were because Tony hadn't seen them. So I don't wanna watch them without him, but I don't wanna have it be really awkward with just me and Chris for like....8 and a half hours (the original planned time, given our movie list runtimes). I'm not really an entertaining person! Especially not for that long. I wouldn't know what to do! And I don't know if we could shorten the time or if I could even be sure that he would see my messages! So I can't cancel it or keep it going.

Overall I don't know what to do and I'm panicked and stressed. I feel so useless.....

If anyone has advice...I could really use it. Because I.....I messed up....I messed up big time

[duketheman]

Generation 4 Part 4

Skipping ahead seven months

Sunday November 24, 2019

"John Ross comes home for the Holidays"

It's 4:30am & I'm finishing up my cup of coffee & Mary is asleep as she's getting close to the Delivery date & I want her to rest. I'm sure she'll be up before I get back from the Airport with JR! His flight is scheduled to arrive at 6:00am & I'm being cautious as to have plenty of time to park & meet him at the gate! We don't miss Church, so we'll attend evening service tonight! It's 4:45am & I'm on my way to Miami International to pick up JR. Mary is so excited & as for Kellyanne, I've asked George to bring her to the house later! JR wanted to surprise her, so we didn't mention him coming home yet! It's 5:30am & I've arrived at the airport. I park in the Garage & walk across to the terminal to the arrival gate! I go to the coffee shop & purchase a Cinnamon Bun & a cup of coffee, sit down & wait for the flight to land! Ahh, his flight is landing! It 6:15am & late. But no matter, it's here, safe & that's what counts! The airport is just starting to get crowded Thanksgiving holiday & all! It's 6:40am & JR is just getting through Security! I tell: ~JR!!!!~ He sees me & walks towards in my direction. First words out of his mouth: ~Dad, how Kellyanne, God I miss her! Oh you to Dad, how have you & mom been, Is she showing big now?~ I reply: ~We've been fine & yeaaa! She showing real big son! Did Kellyanne tell you she's got a baby sister coming around the same time as you new baby

brother?~ He replies: ~Yea, that's something, isn't Dad! Weird but I like it. They can be best friends! Let's go home Dad, I really want to to see Mom. I miss her so much! Sometimes when I was down & stuck on something I thought I couldn't do; Mom encouraged me & told me I can do anything if I put my mind to it! Just like when I was a kid! She called me allot Dad!~ I reply: ~She's that way son. Always has been. She loves you more than anything! Let's go, she's probably awake & cooking us breakfast as we speak!~ We pick his bags out from the Baggage Carousel, left the terminal & walked across to the garage where my Beamer was parked! It's 7:55am & we're headed for home! We're pulling into our Driveway & it's 9:00am. JR darts for the house! He really missed his Mother! I get the bags & carry them into the house! I open the door & the two of them are hugging each other like it's been years! My wife is crying she's so happy to see her little man! I walk by them with the bags & carry them upstairs to JR's room! I smell food & I welcome it, I'm starving! She's got Bacon, sausage, Biscuits, white gravy, eggs & grape jelly on the table. Grape is JR's favorite! We have Orange juice, milk, coffee & apple juice for Mary. My wife says: ~You boys dig in now, while it's hot!~ Nobody has to tell me twice, I'm hungry! I'm finished eating, & I get up, pick up the table & clean everything up. That gives time for Mary to catch up with JR! Afterall, at 12:30pm, Kellyanne will be here & they're going to be spending an awful lot of time together! I'm done with the dishes, those two are still at it, so I go into the library & read up on seaman regulations! They're constantly changing! Wow, two hours & my eyes are killing me, I need a break! Doorbell is ringing, it 12:25pm. It's George, Lucy & Kellyanne! I invite them in & before I can say anything, Kellyanne sees JR. She yells out in Joy: ~John Ross! 'O John Ross, I didn't even know you were going to be here! When did you get in?~ He replies: ~I wanted to surprise you! I got in early this morning! I've missed you so much Kellyanne!~ She replies:

~John Ross, I've missed you terribly! I'm so happy you're home! How long are are you home for John Ross?~ He replies: ~ I have to leave on January 2, 2020. I'm here until after the Holidays!~ The go into the other room so they can talk! Man, I can't tell who's belly is bigger! Oh well, next month the new ones will be filling everybody's hearts with joy!

Skipping ahead to November 27

It's 7:00am & Mary, myself, JR, George, Lucy & Kellyanne are getting ready to board a flight to Valdosta Regional Airport Headed to spend the Holidays with my parents! Mary's Parents & Julia's Mother will also be joining us at the Mansion! We've checked our luggage & it's 7:30am. Our flight leaves at 8:00am & we're going through Security now! It's 7:55am & we're boarding the plane! The trip is expected to be smooth & take approximately 4 hours with 1 stop. We should be landing at about 12:00pm! I will be happy to see my parents & JR certainly will enjoy seeing all of his Grandparents in one place. This will probably be the last time he'll see his Grandma Rachael! She's been in poor health lately. I'm glad she'll have time with JR! It's 12:05pm & we're landing. We disembark the plane & run through Security. It's 12:45pm & we're heading towards the Baggage Carousel! The ladies are seated so not to put strain on them. They are just about a week from due date! My Father has sent a Limousine service to pick us up because of the amount of people! I spot the Chofer holding a sign with our name on it! I signal him to come & give us a hand! We get a Baggage cart & load the luggage onto it & head for the door. The Car is parked at the loading zone. We help the ladies in the we get in. The Chofer loads the luggage in the trunk! We're on our way to Madison County, just across the State line. About 30-35 minutes from here to the Mansion! It's 1:30am & we're pulling onto the Grounds of Newport Mansion! George says: ~Dang Harry, dis place be beautiful! I ain't neva seen a place be like dis!~ I reply: ~It's just a place to live George! Too big for me!~ My Parents are both outside waiting for us as we pull up! My Mother is quite famous for her Sweet tea & Lemonade! My Grandma Nippy's recipe! She welcome everyone. She kisses me on the cheek & my wife & says:

~We've missed you!~ She shakes the hands of George & Lucy & says: ~You're most welcome here, consider yourselves part of the family. My name is Candace, you may call me Candy!~ She looks at Kellyanne & says: ~Now, who do we have here child? Such a Beautiful young Lady!~ She replies: ~My name is Kellyanne Mam, Pleased to meet you! Mother replies: ~ So polite! Well then Kellyanne, you can call me Grandma if you wish. ~Now everyone, this is Charles, my husband Harry's Father!~ She turns to JR & says: ~Now John Ross, come here my boy & let you Grandma give you some love!~ He walks over to Mother & holds out his arms & my Mother gives her Grandson a hug to remember! She says: 'O John Ross, I've missed you so much! I'm so proud of you & I'm so glad you could make it & spend the Holidays with us!

Rachael, will be flying in tonight, Will & Laura are driving & should be here soon! Our family keeps growing! Now for you two expecting Mothers, arrangements have been made with Madison County Memorial Hospital! I have a Dr Jameson on call in case of an emergency! I believe your Doctor is Kleinpeter? Dr Jameson says that he knows him!

Dr Jameson has with your permission agreed to take over while you're here? Both Mary & Lucy simultaneously say: ~Of course, & thanks Mom, Mary adds!~ Mother calls for Huntington: ~Huntington, please show our guest to their rooms!~ He replies: ~Yes Mam, (looks at us) right this way please?~ George asks: ~Harry, a Butler, well day beat all! Dis place be Beautiful Harry!~ Mother says loudly: ~We've had a late lunch prepared for you, if you're hungry!~ I reply: ~Yes, thank you Mother, I'm quite

hungry!~ George adds: ~Me too, me belly be achin, really achin! Me be thirsty too! Harry, Rich people drink beer?~ I reply: Yes George, my Father was born in Texas. He enjoys a cold Bud once in a while! But he quite likes his Brandy!~ He replies: ~Me too!~ I leave my wife upstairs to change & come down to say a real hello to my Father: ~Hello Father, I've missed you!~ He turns to me & says: ~Son, I've missed you too! I'm so happy you came to spend the Holidays with us!~ He hugs me & says: ~ I love you Son!~ I've always been close to my Father! He's a Good man & has always done his very best for his family! I ask: ~Father, will my Sister & Brothers be joining us?~ He replies: ~Jaime had to make a choice! She's spending Thanksgiving with Bill's parents! They'll be joining us for Christmas! You're Brothers have to work through Thanksgiving because of some bureaucratic meddling! They'll be joining us this weekend!~ Everyone is coming downstairs, let's go into the Drawing room, Huntington will be serving a late lunch! Just some horderves & little stuff like that to hold you over until dinner.~ We all enter the Drawing room & Father asks: ~Drinks anyone?~ George is ready: ~Bud please?~ Father replies:

~Of course George, Would you be a Seaman by any chance my good man?~ aye, Me would Sir!~ Both our wives reply: ~Sprite if you don't mind?~ The kids have already got Coke! I request: ~Scotch on the Rocks~ In comes Huntington: ~Horderves!~ He's serving us one by one! Shrimp, Caviar, Olives, Rolled Ham, & other various treats! Kids ask him if he'd just make the a couple sandwiches & he happily agreed! We sat, enjoyed each other's company toasted the expecting Mother's & my Parents as well as Mary's & of course Rachael! It's nice being around family & friends. I'm really glad we made this trip!

4:00pm & Mary's parents just arrived from Raleigh, NC. They've got to be tired, that's at least a 11 hour trip; allowing stopping to rest & eat! Straight through, mmmmh, I'd say 8 1/2 hours! Either way, it's hard on them at their age! Mary & Mother & myself meet them at the car, & I get their luggage out of the trunk! Laura looks at her daughter & begins to cry out of happiness! She places her hand on Mary's belly, giggles & says: ~I can feel the little guy kicking in their!~ Mother walks up to Laura & says:

~Welcome my Dear Friend, we're so glad you could join us for the Holidays!~ She replies: 'O Candice, we appreciate you guys so much. I wouldn't miss it for the world, & besides; my Baby is having a Baby! Now where is John Ross?~ I reply: ~He's somewhere around here with Kellyanne!~ She replies: ~Kellyanne? Our Little man is not so little anymore, is he?~I reply: ~No Laura, he's in love!~ She remarks: ~Well, that sounds serious!~ I say: ~Yes, it is!~ Mary hugs her Father & kisses his cheek, hugs him again & says: ~'O Daddy, I've missed you so much! How have you & Mom been doing? Have you stayed well?~ He replies:~Yes my Dear, We've been well! I get quite bored with myself since I retired from the University, but it's worth it to spend more time with your Mother! We've missed you too!~ Candace he says: ~Where's Charles?~ She replies: ~Charles has gone to the Airport! Rachael's flight is scheduled to arrive at 5:00pm from Dallas! They'll be pulling in before you know it! Let's go inside?~ We all go into the Mansion & Mother calls for Huntington: ~Huntington, please show my Dear friends to their room?~ He replies: ~Yes mam~ She adds: ~Will, Laura, We'll let you freshen up! We can talk after!~ Huntington grabs their bags & shows them to their room! It's 6:00pm & Father's arrived with Rachael! Mother & I meet them at the car. I open the rear passenger door & help Rachael out. I hug her & say: ~Mom, I'm so glad you could make it! The Holidays wouldn't be the same without you!~ She replies: ~I almost didn't come Harry, I was hurting, but I want to see you & my Grandson one more time before I join my Baby & Jimmy in Heaven! Where is that boy?~ I reply: ~I'll find him for you Mom! He's around here somewhere, he doesn't know you're here yet!~ Mother asks: ~How was your trip Rachael? How are you feeling?~ She replies: ~The trip was fine Candy, I'm just a little tired! How are you doing?~ Mother replies: ~I'm doing pretty good for an old Lady! Come inside & rest, I'll have Huntington take your bags to your room!~ They go inside & I'm in search of my son! There they are, on the swing! I call out: ~JR! Your Grandma Marcantel is here! Go see her!~ He replies: ~Grammy's here, come on Kellyanne, you'll just love her!~ He takes Kellyanne by the hand & heads for the house to see his Grandmother! She has pancreatic cancer & it's spread beyond control! There's no more they can do! This is the last time he'll see her! She's all that's left of Julia besides my son! I go back to the house & go inside! Everyone is sitting in the Drawing room talking & getting to know each other! I ask George: ~How's it going Buddy, enjoying yourself?~ He replies: ~aye Harry, ya be havin a huge family ya be Harry! Me like very allot!~

It's 7:00pm & Huntington announces: ~Dinner is being served in the Dinning room!~ We all go towards the Dining & are seated! George's eyes have doubled in size! I haven't seen this table filled in years, since my Wedding! The food looks Delicious. Tomorrow is the Big one, Thanksgiving! Mother goes all out! We finish dinner & retire to the Drawing room. It's 9:00pm & my Father offers drinks. The kids are drinking soft drinks. The ladies all, except for Mother, request just water. Rebecca needs to take her meds. The remaining four of us have Brandy! We sit & visit & we are truly family! It's 10:00pm & we're all tired! Rachael calls me over & whispers to me: ~Harry, please take me to see my Julia in the morning?~ I reply: ~Of course I will Mom! First thing.... We say Goodnight & retire to our rooms respectfully! My poor Mary, her legs are swelled up, so I run her a warm bath. I wash her back for her, I love pampering my wife! I take a shower & we both get into bed. I rub her legs for her to make them feel better! We lay down & I put my arm around her, resting my hand on her belly! I can feel the baby moving around inside of her, God is Good! Goodnight all!

Thursday, November 28

Thanksgiving Morning

Julia's Grave

It's early, 6:00am, & My son & I are up drinking coffee! The others are still sleeping. I promised Rachael that I would take her over to the East side of the property to see Julia's grave! JR wanted to come along to see his Mother's grave & asked if he could come along! It's 7:00am & Rebecca has come down stairs. I ask: ~Coffee mom?~ She replies: ~No, but thank you Harry! Coffee doesn't agree with me anymore. Maybe some juice diluted with water?~I reply: ~Sure mom, Apple juice okay?~ She replies: ~That will be fine Harry, Thanks!~ She takes out this pharmacy of medication out & begins to take them a few at a time! She asks: ~Harry, can I have a piece of toast, no butter? Just to settle my stomach!~ I reply: ~Sure mom, I'll fix it for you now!~ I give a plate with toast & she nibbles on it until it's gone! 

It's 8:00am & I borrowed my Father's car! We're enroute to the East side of the property where our Family Cemetery's located! It's about a twenty minute drive. It's 8:25 & we've arrived at the cemetery. I help Rachael out of the car & the three of us walk over to Julia's grave. Rachael puts her hand on the Gravestone & talks to her daughter with tears in her eyes: ~I'll be with you & your Daddy soon Baby! We all miss you so much! John Ross is here! He misses you too Julia! But he's doing fine! You'd be so proud of him, he's grown into a fine young man!~ She closed eyes and said a prayer. JR took hold of her hand & prayed with her. He said: ~I love you Mom, I've never forgotten how you use to hold me! I never will Mom, I promise!~ I too had my own private talk with Julia, I shall keep to myself! Rachael asks: ~Harry, what a beautiful Headstone! I've never quite seen one like this before!~ I reply: ~Julia always loved the Dolphins! I only thought it right to have them watch over her!~ She replies:

Thank you Harry for that! She always thought they were the true Mermaids of the Sea! She had a whole shelf full as a little girl!~ I place an array of Julia's favorite flowers on her grave! I say: ~Mom, you know we all love you. You know JR & I love you. My Parents love you! Mom, we'd like to move Dad from Shreveport & lay him to rest beside Julia with your permission! Mom, we've a spot here for you too! She's got tears in her eyes & replies: ~Harry, we have nobody in Shreveport! Yes, of course you have my permission! Harry, our Julia loved you very much! God Bless you

Harry!~ We get back in the car & ride back to the Mansion! Throughout the day we all had time to catch up. Later that evening......

Thanksgiving Dinner

6:00pm

Huntington rings a bell: Dinner is being served! May I offer my Heartfelt Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Mother announces: ~Today is Thanksgiving Huntington, & you are considered part of this family. You'll be eating with us tonight Huntington!~ He replies: ~Yes Mam, thank you mam!~ I've never seen Huntington smile before, but he's smiling now!

The twelve of us all go to the Dining room & are seated as such: Mother & Father at each end. Rachael is seated on Mother's right & Huntington on her left. Kellyann is seated next to Rachael & JR next to Huntington. Lucy is seated next to Kellyanne & her George next to JR. Mary's Mother is seated next to Lucy & he Father is seated next to George. Mary is seated on my Father's left & I on his right! My Father says Grace over the Thanksgiving Feast. Amen. The table is set in a Formal matter & with a Feast fit for Royalty, everything anyone could imagine. My Mother always does it right!

We eat drink & be Thankful for the food, love of Family & all God has provided us! God is Truly Good! God Bless us all!

We're finished with dinner & all retire to the Drawing room for Drinks & conversation! Mother decides that it's time that we put some Christmas music on! Tomorrow she will be putting up a tree! She has a 21ft Douglas Fur being trucked in from Atlanta in the morning.

We're singing Christmas Carols, we've only 27 days till Christmas! It's 11:30pm. Rachael looks tired. She needs to rest, I help her upstairs to her room! She's in pain & I ask: ~Mom, is there anything I can do?~ She replies:

~No Harry, It'll pass! I just need to rest! Thank you Harry, for everything! I reply: ~Goodnight Mom, Sleep well!~

I go back downstairs & join the rest of the Family! It's 1:00am & we decide to end the night & retire to our rooms.

Mary's Water Breaks!

We say our Goodnights & go upstairs. While in the bathroom, Mary calls me in: ~Harry, it's time,my water broke!~ I reply ~Darling, it's too early!~ I'm quite anxious by now! She has a bag ready & I proceed to take her downstairs, only stopping to knock on Mother's door to let her know & Mary's parents, who's wanting to accompany us. They'll drive since their car is here! Mother's calling Dr Jameson to meet us at Memorial!

We make Madison County Hospital & its 2:15am. Professor Covington drops us off at the Emergency entrance & I grab a wheelchair & wheel Mary in. I'm going out of my mind & Mary is cool, calm & collective. We get her admitted & Dr Jameson arrives. He examines her & says: ~How are you doing young lady?~ Mary replies: ~I'm having a Baby!~ He turns to me & asks: ~Your the Father, Are you going to be in there with her~ I reply I can be there too?~ He replies ~Yes, of course, better hurry & get ready! She's almost fully dilated, it won't be long! He tells the nurse to have me wash my hands, get me a gown & mask. He has Mary get in a gown & lay on a gurney. The wheel her I to the delivery room & I follow. They transfer her to a Delivery table. The Dr asks: ~Want an epidural?~ She replies: No Doctor, I want this to be natural!~ The nurse says: ~She's fully dilated Doctor~ He replies: ~Good, I want you to breathe!~ I'm watching this as he reaches between her legs, gently grasp this little head coming out of my wife!

Friday November 29, 2019

Time of Birth: 4:11am

Harry Jr. 7 lbs 13oz

He's crying as he comes out. I always thought they had to swat the rear end. I'm evidently wrong! He hands him to the nurse who places him on my wife's belly as he cuts the umbilical cord & cleans the fluids out of his mouth & nose! They wrap him in a blanket & hand him to me, while they clean Mary up! He's perfect & healthy & his Mother his okay too. God is Good, thank you Lord!

They're done cleaning her up, I kiss her & say:

~I love you Mrs Newport, he's perfect. ~ She replies: ~'O my Harry, I love!~ They hand her the baby & she's as proud as she can be! She crying & says: Harry: ~His name is Harold Joseph Jr.!~ She named him after me!

They tell they're taking her to the room & will let me know when I & the Grandparents can come in! I go to the visiting room & give Mary's parents the news. They are ecstatic that they have a new Grandson. It's 5:30am & I call my Mother. I spoke to JR & told him he has a new baby Brother. Everyone is excited to hear the news & are making ready to come to the Hospital. It's 8:00am, my parents, JR & Kellyanne arrive to visit Marry! The Baby is in the Nursery for now & can be viewed through a window. George & Lucy will visit later when I come back to the Hospital! Rebecca is not feeling well & is resting in her room. Mother has hired a nurse to stay with us as long as Rachael needs her! It's 10:00am & I kiss my wife, tell her I love her & I need to go get a couple hours rest & check on Rachael! We'll ride home with my parents & I'll return this afternoon. We head home & Mary's parents will follow so she can get her rest. We get home, it's 10:50am. I go upstairs to check on Rachael & find she's in pain. I ring for the nurse & she explains that she just gave her a shot of Morphine & anymore would be dangerous! She get some cool towels so to bring her temperature under control. I ask: ~Mom, how are you doing?~ She replies: ~It'll pass son, thank you~ She told me to get the envelope out of the Nightstand next to the bed: ~Harry, that letter gives you my Power of Attorney to handle any & all my business if necessary! I'm leaving the house to John Ross! It's his Mother's Childhood home! Please see that it's taken care of?~ I reply: ~Mom, you're not going

anywhere!~ She replies: ~Sure Harry, please do as I ask?~ I reply: ~I will Mom!~ The Morphine's doing its job & she falls asleep! She's a good woman & when she's gone, JR's only link to Julia will be too! He loves his Grammy & she loves him! Cancer took Julia, her Father & now it's taking Rachael!

The Christmas tree’s Delivered

It's 11:35am & The delivery truck is here from Atlanta with the Christmas tree. Beautiful tree Mother has them bring it into the house & set it up in the Grand Foyer. She loves to go big! I'm going to lay down for a couple hours so I can get back to the Hospital! It's 2:30pm & I'm headed back to the Hospital, George & Lucy are accompanying me! Lucy's looking pretty tired & I hope she's okay! George is getting excited about having another child! It's 3:00pm & we arrive at the Hospital! We park, go inside & we pass Mary's parents on the way out! Laura says: ~The Baby is perfect Harry!~ Professor Covington adds: ~Yes he is, congratulations my boy! We're going back to the house. See you there!~ I reply: Thanks, I just want you to know, I'm really glad you could be here! Talk to you when we get back!~ We go up to Mary's room, she's breastfeeding the baby! George is immediately embarrassed so she covers he breast & he relaxes! Lucy say: ~How are you feeling Mary?~ She replies~ Alls well Lucy, the baby's healthy & is a perfect little guy! He looks like Harry~ She smiles & winks at me! I'm so happy they're both okay! Mary asks Lucy: ~How are you Lucy?~ She replies: ~Oh, I'm Ooooo, ahh, I'm doing, ohhhhh, George: I think it's time~ as she holds her belly... George replies: ~Time for what me luv? Oh, Oh naw, now?~ He runs out in the hall yelling for a nurse. Lucy calmly walks out & sits in a wheelchair. Mary says: ~Go with them Harry, until he settles down! I'll be fine, not going anywhere!~ I tell George to settle down, & I ask the nurse to call Dr Jameson! Lucy's water just broke & now George is frantic: ~Calm down George, everything is fine. That's supposed to happen! Weren't you there when she had Kellyanne?~ He replies: ~Me wasn't here Harry, Navy, on a

Ship!~ I reply: ~Okay old man, everything's good!~ He settling down, Doctor's here & he takes her into the exam room! Been fifteen minutes & the Doctor comes out & asks George: ~It's time Mr Richards, coming?~ I say: ~Go with the nurse George! She'll show you where to wash your hands!~ He replies: ~Fer what? I reply: ~So you can be in there with her!~ He replies: ~Me, in der, me can be wit me Lucy? Ohhh, Okay, Me be seein ya Harry!~ He looks awfully nervous, I sincerely hope he doesn't faint! I tell him to let me know when the baby comes. I go back to my wife's room, she's holding the baby! She hands the little guy to me. He's grabs my pinky finger. His grip is strong. Just like when JR was born! I'm holding a miracle in my arms, a new life. I'm worried about Rachael too, I don't think she's got long. She says she's ready, she wants to be with Julia & The Rev!.......

Friday, November 29, 2019

Time of Birth: 7:03pm

Anabel 6lbs 2 oz

It's 7:15pm & George comes into the room: ~Me little girl be born at 7:03pm. She be Beautiful Harry, but Me need a beer!~ I ask: ~What's her name George?~ He replies: ~Anabel Josephine Richards, after me Mum!~ I reply: ~That's a Beautiful name George, is she in the Nursery?~ He nods his head Yes, & we go to see the Annabelle! She's really quite a beautiful baby. George says: ~She got me mum's eyes~ I reply: ~She's Beautiful George, Congratulations old man!~ He replies: ~Well then, Me be thankful to God, & Harry, ifin ya not be mindin, Me & me Lucy be wantin fer ya & ya Mary to be da Godmuder & Fadder, dat is, ifin ya not be mindin?~ I reply: ~George, we will be honored!~ Next he takes me to see Lucy, she had a rough time of it. She went natural too, but was in labor four hours! She's doing well now! George says: ~Me neva see nuttin like it Harry! Dat der Doctor reach down der & he pull me little girl out! Harry, she be so little, when I be holdin her, be like a bird! Awhh Me be Lovin her Harry & me Lucy too!~ I reply: ~I know old man! You call Kellyanne yet & tell her she's got a new Baby sister?~ He replies: ~Nay, Me ferget Harry! Me do now!~ I tell him I'm going back to Mary's room, there's only twenty minutes of visiting time left. Both our wives need to get their rest. Mary & Harry Jr are scheduled to be released tomorrow. I'm back in Mary's room. The nurse just gave me a ten minute heads up! I say: ~Darling, you sure gave us a Beautiful baby. I love you with all my life!~ I kiss & hold her in my arms for a minute. It's 9:00pm straight up & the nurse reaffirms it by telling me, Visiting hours are over. I say thanks, kiss my wife & tell her I will be here at 8:00am to sign her & the baby out! I meet George out in the hall, head downstairs & to Father's car! We head back to the Mansion. It's 10:00pm & we arrive, followed by my sister Jamie & her husband Bill Langley. They drove in from Little Rock! We step out of the car & greet them. I introduce George & fill them in with the news. Been a busy last couple of days. Jamie asks: ~How is Mary & the baby?~ I reply: ~They're doing well & Jamie, Little Harry is absolutely perfect!~ She hugs me & kisses me on the cheek: ~I'm glad Harry, you two deserve all the happiness in the world!~ Then she turns to George & says: ~How are your wife & baby doing?~ He replies: ~Good, me be thankin ya fer askin~ We go I to the house & our parents are waiting for me. They didn't know that Jamie & Bill were coming in tonight? Mother sees Jamie, & is surprised: ~Jaime, I wasn't aware you were coming in tonight! She hugs & kisses her hello, hugs Bob, he's a man of few words! Jaime sees Father, & like a little girl, runs into his arms: ~Daddy, 'O I've missed you Daddy! How have you been?~ He replies: ~Quite well Jaime! I've missed you too! I wish we could see more of you!~ They hug & my sister is reluctant to release him. She's always been a "Daddy's Little Girl". Mother calls for Huntington: ~Huntington, please show my Daughter & Son in-law to their room?~ He replies ~Yes Mam! He takes their bags & shows them to the room! Mother says: ~Tomorrow's the first day of December Son! Everyone will be here, the girls will be home from the hospital & we're going to decorate the tree!~ I reply: ~Yes Mother, I'm bringing Mary & the Baby home tomorrow morning. Lucy & their little one should be getting the next day! Right George?~ George replies: ~Right, Sunday!~ Mother replies: ~Good then, this is so wonderful, I just love Christmas time! God has graced us once again with two new lives, what can be better than that?, Goodnight you two! We tell my mother Goodnight & she goes upstairs! My Father says: ~You both look like you can use a drink! I reply reply: ~Scotch please Father?~ George replies: ~Me too, please, Me be thankin ya fer it Sir!~ My Father says: ~Very well~ He pours us both a Scotch on the rocks. We toast each other, drink our drinks & say Goodnight! Its been a long couple of days but we're Blessed!

Continued

[sally-annesstories]

Day 113 - Medellin, Colombia

Let's learn about Medellin!

1. My sleep was a bit disturbed last night with people who got kicked out of the bar relocating to outside my room but nan it's nice getting a room to yourself! Such a conveniance in waking up and turning the lights on when I want and making the noise levels I want. I had a wee sleep in them and then had a quick breakfast of toast before heading out the door. I've finally figured out how to use maps.me and I can't beleive I've gone so long without it. Offline google naps is ok but this is so much better. The streets of Pablado were pretty quiet but on my walk I found the nearest supermarket and a few places to eat that could be nice. Then I made it to the metro and found my man in a red top and hat as promised for the start of the tour. Purchasing a metro ticket I joined the group.

2. The tour started at the metro to get us a few blocks away. This was a great way too quickly see how good the metro system here is! The free walking tour is really renowned and covers the inner city of Medellin. Areas we went through included;

- square of lights

- palacio naional

- Veracruz church

- Boterro square

- Berrio park

- San Antonio park

I learn so much over the 3.5 hours and it's one of the two walking tours I've ever done (up there with Berlin and Edinburgh!). Some things that I've kept with me now from the tour;

- Pablo Escobar was pretty horrific in terms of actions and while Hollywood has depicted this they sometimes have put him in q.more glamorous light. E.g. on Narcos it shows he built hospitals. In reality he built circa 200 houses and one football field. Yes these were given to the poor but he also killed and really how many lives is one house worth. The things he did that were good were all for the wrong reasons.

- in the early 80s a reporter crossed Pablo so the reporter was killed (shot 15 times). The entire family had to flee the country to avoid being killed too

- it is also said Pablo was a pedofile. And per the tour guide everyone knew, but it was never tried. There were 40 or 50 girls killed because of this.

- Outside Veracruz church there were many prostitutes. It is informally known as loving providers church and hotels across the road charge by the hour. Afterwards people repent their sins by going to church.

- the tour guide also provided us with insight into his own life to help us understand him. He said he was from the upper class of Colombia. Originally he grew up in the Pablado neighborhood (where I'm staying) which is relatively fancy. He is from a family of doctors and engineers hence the historic wealth. Because of this in 1990 two of his uncles were kidnapped and held for a ransom of $400k USD which the family paid. After this they lost a lot of money and moved to a middle class neighborhood. He obviously still grew up with all the knowledge around him but their means changed at this time. While middle class neighborhoods were typically free from violence, as the gangs fought for territories they entered these too. In 1999 he was outside playing football with his friends when there was a random shooting by the gangs. He was shot twice in the leg. Two of his best mates killed. Up until this (and because he was too young to be aware of his uncles kidnapping at the time) he said he had been sheltered from the danger due to his families financial circumstances and locality. After this event he had depression for a couple of years (he was an early teen at the time of the shooting). His family sent him to the USA for 6 months. He didnt want to come back. He then stayed there as an illegal immigrant. Also prior to his uncles being kidnapped, his brother had been shot in 1989 so had also eventually gone to the USA. They had both applied for political assylum. His brothers mother had been deported in 1995 and his brother was declined asylum as well. Eventually they were both found and arrested but opted for voluntary deportation. He has been back in Colombia for many years now and is happy there. Wouldn't want to live in USA again. Now runs these tours and is working on opening a language school with his brother (he is both a trained teach plus in media previously working in this).

- the final stop on the tour was SAN Antonio park. We were told not was very dangerous in this is area and to hold our stuff tight. The square used to be busier and home to concerts however sadly in xxxx there was a concert and someone put a bomb in the xxxx bird statue. It killed 7 people including a young child. Noone knows who put the bomb there truly because everyone claimed they did it. These days the damaged bird statue sits there as does a new one side by side. After it happened the mayor at the time wanted to remove the damaged bird. However xxxx himself called and said to keep the original there and he would donate a new one as well. He said it was important to not forget the past. The names of the people who lost their lives that day are also engraved in a plaque. The tour guide commended this as he said Colombians can have short memories for the past as there were many places we walked through on the tour where some horrendous things happened but you wouldn't know now because there is nothing in greivance.

Overall it was a super interesting tour with even more takeaways than I've copied down here.

3. After the tour I caught the metro back to the hostel to figure my plan for the afternoon. After walking so much though it was nice to sit and chill and just be for a moment. It was cool catching the metro on my own as it makes you so independant. The metro is actually something Medellin saw as a huge positive change as it meant the comunas are connected whereby back in Pablo's day they weren't.

4. After my chill time I was back on the metro where I'd come from to go to the botanic gardens. It is book week or month in Colombia and the gardens were overrun with bookstalls everywhere and locals. Plus lots of school age students clearly on excusions. Always fun to see day to day life. After my wander I hopped back on the metro to the Ponsonby Central of Medellin, Mercado del Rio. Here I had Indian curry for dinner (Sarah's influence given she is in India). Then a casual 45 minute walk home to make plans for the night.

5. The Irish girls were also in Medellin although staying at a different hostel. I ended up meeting at their hostel for a few drinks before heading out for Medellin night life. At the hostel I met two English girls (Ruth and Harriet) who when they finish South America are travelling NZ (and have same flight to NZ as me, so random!). We ended up heading to the park area which is where a lot of the bars are. Given it was a Wednesday it was relatively quiet but 8 of us in tow was good. A highlight was a bar with a ball pit we could jump into (so fun, hopefully it was clean!)

[punkscowardschampions]

Tommy & Meena/Meena & Ro

Slides into ya DMs a million years later

Tommy: [Sends her a link to a facebook post about their dance teacher from when they were kiddos] Tommy: As if she's retiring! 😮 It doesn't seem 5 mins since she was calling me out for picking my nose like Tommy: I wanna get her a pressie or something, what you reckon? 🤔 Gin or bubbles Meena joined the chat 105 minutes ago Meena: I know, crazy isn't it, sure she's telling everyone she doesn't feel anywhere near old enough (hoping they'll say she doesn't look it either) Bless her Meena: and it is a pretty nasty habit I hope you left behind, in fairness 😛 Meena: I don't think she'll oppose either, I'll go in with you on it if that's alright Meena: We should, really Tommy: 😂 Mostly. We all have our off days though, yeah? Bet your thumb still be looking tempting on the reg 😜 Tommy: Fuck it let her be down with the kids and chug down a 'trendy' gin Tommy: Yeah I was gonna ask if you did wanna but knowing you I didn't wanna assume you hadn't already gone all out like 🎉 Tommy: 😇 to my 😈 Meena: Never! That rancid nail paint Ana got me put me off for life Meena: could totally rock a mani now, even if pedis are forever out of the question 💃👣 Meena: I hadn't actually, been so busy with this band stuff with your sisters and that Meena: Probably wouldn't have done it if you hadn't, doesn't want any old riff-raff she barely remembers showing up Meena: her ⭐pupil though, that's different Tommy: fair, she's been at me bout it too Tommy: needs my skills appaz but it'll cost her Tommy: come on, it takes two to tango! nothing without the baby to my johnny 💑 Meena: Nice try but I'm not getting involved in sibling drama, I know better than that 🙅 Meena: my own Brother is going great lengths to avoid me so I'm chilling Meena: 😂 please Meena: if the other girl hadn't got knocked up, baby woulda been surplus from the start Tommy: Drama, me? Please 😂 Tommy: Nah tbh I'm excited to get involved Tommy: & see you lot in action ofc Tommy: Imagine! We'd have to have been going some to be dealing with pregnancy scares at that age even by my ma's standards Meena: 😏 Isn't it on your required curriculum? Meena: Can't blame you Meena: It has been a lot of fun Meena: It'll be good to see you too Meena: 😨 No thank you, I'll leave that to Ali, she's got it covered Meena: No way either of us could keep a child alive 😂 Tommy: You got me 🥊 Tommy: It looks it & the socials never lie Tommy: It'll be fab to see you too! 💙 Tommy: How've you been, girl? Meena: Naturally, filters need not apply Meena: Me? I'm all good Meena: Nothing to report, no pregnancy scares or slightly predatory older men Meena: How's the London life? Tommy: 👍 Tommy: Me either Tommy: Only the teachers 😂 Tommy: London's capital D dramatic but I'm surviving 🤩 Tommy: like you said, required, yeah? Meena: Don't even joke, Mr. Lucas, this new teacher, is soooo sketchy Meena: not that he's likely to go after me 😂 but there will be drama worth reporting there Meena: mark my words Meena: and don't lie, you so LIVE for it, don't you? 🙂 Tommy: Oh my god colour me unsurprised and deeply disturbed Tommy: Trying to big you up without calling you a lolita and all that jazz Tommy: but noted Tommy: Shame the news came too late to get my sister learning from the nuns Tommy: 😂 Meena: Thank the Lord we can rule out everyone but Caleb pretty much for Rio's daddy Meena: she's so cute 😍 Tommy: Right? she's his double Meena: Nah she looks a lot like Ali too Meena: still, Mr. Lucas has not gone that far is my point Meena: she hates him, its so funny 'cos your Ma can't even be mad 😂 Tommy: Yas! Glad she ain't protesting too much Tommy: None of us got time to be dealing with that level of drama even me 😏 Tommy: Ma can ALWAYS be mad tho Meena: I wouldn't like to say Meena: Trying to get me to badmouth all your family today...are you print screening this?! 🙊 Tommy: Only if it gets juicy 😂 Tommy: what'll it take to get you to throwdown on 'em? Meena: 🤐 Tommy: It's been good catching up Tommy: Soz I'm not better at it Meena: No, it's not all you Meena: I'm not the most social of bears Meena: and its been a while Meena: but it was nice 🙂 Tommy: we should get a drink when I'm back 🍹 do it proper Tommy: no pressure like and even less drama Meena: You got it in you to leave it in London? 🤔 Meena: but i'm up for it Meena: I don't drink drink though, just an FYI Tommy: I'll do it for the craic 🍀 Tommy: Still gonna dance on the tables tho, yeah? Meena: 😳🙈 guess so Meena: anything you do, i'll do backwards and in heels Meena: thems still the rules, last I checked Tommy: 👑💚 Tommy: Love it Meena: Okay...Can I just vent at you for a hot sec, Ro Meena: More than free to comment any way you see fit (of course) but also as free to say nothing if you can't or don't wanna Meena: Just need to get it out 'cos what even Ro: Oh...of course Ro: Go ahead Meena: [Screenshots Tommy in her DMs] Meena: so I know its awkward 'cos familial ties and whatnot but WHAT THE WHAT Meena: He's been ignorning me for what, 6 years? Meena: Perhaps a little dramatic but basically Meena: and now we're just meant to move on as if a. those years didn't happen and b. the ones BEFORE didn't either Meena: am I being insane? I tried not to sound it with him but I am at such a loss rn Ro Ro: Um...I'd say it's rather awkward regardless Ro: What was he thinking? Ro: You are most definitely not insane, in fact, I applaud how together you remained Ro: It's a nice idea, in theory, to reconnect, but that's all it can be and surely he must see that Ro: The past can't just be erased when it's convenient Meena: Ugh, thank you! Meena: I can tell you're not just yes-manning me and it is so appreciated 😘 Meena: You'd think it had been a couple of days, the way he just tried to pick up there Meena: I get it...I wish it was possible in many ways Meena: but if we're going to be anything more than passing acquiantances ever again then I'm afraid we need to have a convo more awkward than that one even! 😬 Ro: Exactly! Ro: We'd all love a quick fix but they simply don't exist, even if you are a McKenna Ro: I'm frankly at a loss for words Meena: I mean...guess it was a nice gesture? right? Meena: God, feel like I'm 9 and he's pretending to like me so he can laugh about me with his friends at break Meena: Ridiculous Ro: I suppose so, if misplaced and poorly timed Ro: Well that's hardly surprising considering you were a child when he last talked to you Ro: You don't have to go for a drink with him just because you agreed then, remember that Meena: I know Meena: but I don't know Meena: I think I want to? Meena: Maybe he wants to say his piece in person Meena: although, in that case, perhaps give an indication in the text! Meena: Walking into an ambush Ro: You don't have to decide now at least Ro: And you can always call me if it does turn into an ambush Ro: I'll act as if there's an emergency Meena: Ooh, good plan Meena: never felt like I was in a romcom before Meena: almost exciting except i feel a bit sick Ro: I understand that all too well Ro: Another idea, cliche though it is, would be to channel this situation into composing a song Ro: Just don't let him know he's the subject Meena: it might be time to embrace the clichedness of it all Meena: the others would be proud Ro: They certainly would Meena: if not a little curious where all these deep feelings had sprung from Meena: oh the shame 🙈 Ro: True, but have no fear, my lips are sealed Ro: Whilst we're on the subject though, how do you feel about him getting involved with the band? Meena: Thanks, Ro 💛 Meena: I mean, I don't mind...I don't WANT to mind, it should be fine Meena: He's a part of my life as long as you guys are but that was admittedly far more abstract when he was more Meena: gone Meena: I am going to try, it would be good for the band, and me, to get over this Ro: Never mind the others, I'm very proud of you, Meena Ro: And for what it's worth, I think that's the right move, after all, he won't be away at school forever Ro: Should he decide to come back home for good you too are bound to interact more Meena: Exactly Meena: Can't ban him from Dublin and activities with his fam Meena: but I also don't think I need to exile myself...far too cliche for words and I frankly, don't want to Meena: I feel better for having talked it out...I just felt absolutely insane, like I was in topsy-turvy land or something, there for a sec Meena: Thanks again Ro, it means a lot Ro: What are friends for? No need to thank me, I'm just glad you feel better Ro: A very strange day for you indeed Ro: Tomorrow is a new one though at least and I'll be here if you need to talk again Meena: Truly! So strange manners were dropped at the door Meena: When we talk again I WILL ask how you are and what's going on with you Meena: I promise 😘 Ro: I have no doubt whatever Ro: But you're forgiven Ro: If there was ever a time for such an entitlement it was now Meena: 💛