#if it doesn’t burn I don’t want it

[admiralgiggles]

Do people collect mouth wash?

[itsalwaysforyou]

there’s blood in the water, there’s blood in the water

kenny ortega, descendants / the crane wives, the crooked, the cradle

[ahalliance]

if étoiles actually snaps and starts being full toxic tryhard in the coming days then you know this event is actually truly evil

[insomniphic]

Okay guys this is really important.

So if you’re aware, I post daily except for one day every week. Because of this I’m not getting as good of a quality of my content; less illustrations and stuff. But you’re at least consistently getting content from me as I do this daily.

Sooo

[somerandommess]

Maxiel au.

Almost 2000 words

Inspired by something I had quite the laugh about ‘help I accidentally called my potential sperm donor sobbing and now he doesn’t want to do that anymore. What do I do’

content warning: mention of mpreg

As it neared the end of Daniels 30th birthday, he found himself sitting on the floor of his kitchen with his back to the cupboard. Micheal and Blake were there too, passing a bottle of scotch between them. Daniel stopped drinking a while ago but still had that level of drunkenness where his tongue was loose .

“Do you guys ever think about having kids?”

Blake, who was bringing the bottle to his lips paused and watched him dead on. Micheal did the same.

He felt uncomfortable under their gaze and shifted, trying to play it off as the cupboard handle digging into his back.

Blake put the bottle down, “What?”

Daniel looked away, “I mean children. Little sticky hand, snot nosed kids.”

Micheal grabbed the bottle and passed it to him, “Where’s this coming from DR?”

Daniel picked at the label on the bottle.

“I don’t know, I mean I’m getting older. I know my mum wants more grandchildren and I just- I thought I’d be married with at least two kids by now”

Micheal and Blake said nothing, the silence made him uncomfortable.

He likes children, he knows that much. He loves being an uncle, but sometimes he thinks about having his own little child to laugh at when they fall down. He was in a relationship before and they talked about children. He and the guy had been together for four years but he left when Daniel brought up kids. Daniel was going to propose, so guess he dodged a bullet there.

Sometimes he dreams about curly haired children running wild in his mother’s backyard. In the dreams they look like him but in a weird distorted dream way. There’s also a guy there with them, tall and blond. His ex was blond so he thinks it was him. Ironic.

He always wakes up sad from those dreams.

“You could get a donor,” Blake says. Micheal finishes the bottle and nods his head aggressively.

Daniel watches them wide-eyed.

“What?”

“A sperm donor, there are clinics in Monaco that do that.”

Daniel laughed, “You’re joking,”

Blake fixed his stare on him, “I’m serious”

“Mate I’m not having some random guys baby just because I want kids. What if he’s a ginger?” He tries to joke but his heart is racing a mile a minute. All of a sudden he’s stone cold sober.

A sperm donor? Really? Actually, it’s not the craziest thing. He’s not drunk enough for this.

Micheal chimes in, “Maybe you could have a F1 drivers baby. I heard some of them have done it. Or a doctor,”

“What if he tries to, I don’t know, reach out? Isn’t the point to be anonymous?”

Blake fixes his glasses, “Actually, some places ask if you want to meet the person. Or if you want to be totally anonymous. It’s up to you.”

“How do you know so much about this shit?” Micheal asks.

Blake shifts and tries to stretch out his leg, “I just do.” He pulls out his phone and starts typing something.

Daniel watches him cautiously, “What are you doing?”

“Sending you clinic options for you to research or go to, incase this isn’t just a drunken confession and you actually want to do this,”

His phone pings and he sees that he sent him three clinics close to him to try. His heart pounds. He’s just a semi decent artist, whose work has been featured in museums. He can’t even make a proper omelette without burning the sides, and he’s thinking about children? Christ, what was he thinking?

Micheal seems to sense the mental battle that he’s having and places a hand on his knee. “Hey, we‘ll support you no matter the choice”

“Yeah. You don’t have to go or do anything,” Blake puts the phone away, “but if you do, you’ll have Micheal and I to help”

Daniel feels his eyes watering. “Thanks guys,”

They sit in silence for a while. He checks the clock on the wall, 12:10 am. His birthday is over.

“I think I’ll go,”

..

“I’ll obviously be the favorite uncle,”

“I think Scotty just shuddered at the thought of that actually, and he’s like halfway around the world right now”

————

Two weeks later he goes to one of the clinics. It had the best reviews out of the ones Blake sent.

He meant to go earlier but a museum called and asked to feature some of his work in an exhibition. He couldn’t say no. They also said they’d pay extra if he could procure a new piece so he spent many nights coming up with something perfect.

He walks in and goes to the counter. The receptionist is an old lady with…brightly colored hair. She smiles up at him and he explains why he’s here. He’s given some forms to fill out and he goes and sits in one of the chairs.

As he’s filling out the form, his stomach twists. He’s actually doing this. He considers just running out but he made up his mind. He wants the sleepless nights and the early mornings. He wants this. It doesn’t help that he and Michelle spent an entire two hour call just looking at baby clothes.

A nurse comes out from the back and calls him into one of the rooms. The receptionist, Gertrude as her name tag says, smiles at him as he goes inside.

When he enters the office, the doctor gets up from her chair to shake his hand.

“Good afternoon Daniel, I’m Doctor Felix but you can call me Janine if you’d like,”

He shakes her hand and greets her. She has a warm smile and kind eyes. He sits in the chair and relaxes immediately.

They start talking about why he’s here and other important stuff.

Financial and living situation, the procedure, and the donor process.

“Some donors actually leave their name and contact info just incase the recipient wants to meet or needs support,”

She types something on her keyboard,

“Though most just stay anonymous. Are you interested in keeping contact with your potential donor?”

He shrugs and looks off to the side. He hadn’t thought of it. He thinks he’s capable of raising a kid on his own. And it’s not like he’ll be completely alone, with his Mum and Dad, Michelle, Micheal, Blake, and Scotty.

Maybe he’ll keep the number, just incase.

When they’re done, she sends him off with some pamphlets and a date to come back.

He heads out and even though Gertrude is attending to another person, she waves him goodbye.

————

When he comes back, he ends up getting the contact number for his donor.

Max V.

He doesn’t plan on using it. He knows the clinic will notify him something along the lines of ‘Hey, this random guy is taking your sperm thx for your service’

So he doesn’t expect to contact him or be contacted.

His plan doesn’t completely work.

He’s been taking these supplements to do something. He can’t remember. Increase the chance of it sticking he guesses. It makes his hormones act up and sometimes, like tonight, makes him bawl hysterically.

He calls Micheal crying and doesn’t even give him the chance to speak before he’s rambling.

“Mikey I can’t do this. A child? What was I thinking! I can’t even cook! What am I meant to feed a baby?,”

He hears as if he’s about to say something but continues talking, “And don’t say that omelettes and oatmeal is cooking. It’s not! What about my art? I’m going to have to stop painting. The fumes Mikey!”

He pauses

“I’m going to have to go back to traditional!” He sobs some more.

“Or maybe photography. I always liked that,”

He collects himself. Micheal stays quiet. He takes a deep breath,

“Im just overthinking, the stupid hormones. It’s only going to get worse when i actually get pregnant. Let’s hope this Max guys sperm knows what it’s doing,”

Micheal is still silent.

“Micheal?”

He checks removes the phone from his ear checking to see if he’s muted. That would be embarrassing.

The phone screen lights up and-

This is not Micheal.

The name reads Max V.

“Shit.”

He blurts out a quick ‘sorry’ and hangs up.

“Fuuuck”

He opens WhatsApp and creates a chat with Max V.

Hey, I’m sorry about that. I thought you were my friend Micheal.

This is the guy who’s going to take your sperm btw.

Daniel

He cringes. So much for no contact. The message gets blue ticked and then Max V. Is typing.

Are you okay?

Mentally?

And. Ok, rude. Just because he had a crisis over the phone doesn’t mean he’s not ok.

He responds

Yes lol.

Max V. Is typing. But then it goes away.

Daniel locks his phone and runs a hand through his hair.

“Shit”

————

When he goes to follow up with Dr. Felix, she tells him that his original donor declined.

“What?”

“He says something happened recently and now he’s no longer a potential sperm donor… for you”

He blinks.

“Excuse me,”

He pulls out his phone and opens his chat with Max.

Did you really cancel my appointment just because I accidentally called you crying?

You called at 1 am, crying hysterically. Forgive me if I’m having second thoughts

Fuck you

He locks his phone.

————

“He really did that?”

“YES! So what if the hormones made me cry? That’s normal. Ugh. Asshole.”

Daniel shoved a piece burnt toast in his mouth. He chewed on the charred bread. He should really learn how to cook properly. But what do Babies know? They drink milk for like…ever! He has time to figure it out.

Blake watched him and cautiously drank his orange juice.

“I swear, if I ever meet him, I’ll give him a piece of my mind,”

Blake set the cup down and looked like he was going to speak before taking another sip.

Daniel narrowed his eyes, “What?”

Blake shook his head but mumbled something under his breath.

Daniel raised his eyebrow and kicked his shin under the table.

“Ow. I just- What if you…met him? Not to argue but to hear him out? Make him reconsider?”

Daniel pondered the idea. He took another bite of his burnt toast.

It’s not the craziest idea he’s had. No, that was moving to Monaco.

“Yeah, I could do that,”

Yes. He’ll meet Max and demand his sperm back.

Wait.

He’ll word it better.

He pulls out his phone and opens the chat.

————

probably many errors in here

Can you tell I know very little about this topic? lmao

Max is still an F1 driver, Daniel is an artist.

Maybe I’ll do a part 2 lol

[arolesbianism]

Some very lazy concept doodles for my swap au Wendy

[tenitchyfingers]

I have found this just now and have actively been losing my mind over this like one of those Loki fans in the early 2010s like

his FACE. He knows something we don’t and he’s TRYING to not say anything.

“I know that there’s been a lot of effort to establish that Stu is still alive in the last movie”

“They’re shooting Scream right now and I’m not in Scream right now. Right now I’m not in Scream, right now I’m in San Diego” (this video was posted in February but it’s sure that it was shot during SDCC 2022 which means he was talking about Scream VI, not anything in the future and him repeating he’s not in Scream RIGHT NOW doesn’t exclude he’ll be in Scream sometime in the future)

So, me, once again:

[dashiellqvverty]

we NEED to get weirder (hornier) about royjamie

[frosty-tian]

Random Thought:

Sweet Lord Almighty.

So while Rescue Bots can feel pain, their pain tolerance level is definitely a lot higher than average humans (or just humans, period).

What if one day, Oaken actually got internal/organ damage (because his internal structure is more delicate compared to an average Cybertronian) but doesn’t realise it because their nervous system just somehow doesn’t pick it up? Like he said it was a huge blow, everyone else saw it, definitely dented his plating a little, but he feels quite fine!

He potentially could walk around with something ruptured for months, and just somehow, not notice. Dear Lord.

(Mental image of him coughing up energon out of the blue (possibly some trickling out of his optic sockets) just crossed my mind.)

[ghost-proofbaby]

i’m sorry but can we talk about how fucking devastating it is to hear it repeatedly said in the game how godey and cazador found astarion’s screams to be the “sweetest”?

the way he was the one who always screamed the loudest. when he was being tortured for days in the kennel by godey. when cazador was carving the runes into his back. centuries, and no one ever helped him or saved him. for centuries, he was screaming and begging for mercy, and it only egged his abuser on more.

no wonder he disapproves more when you repeatedly help and save people. repeatedly, he has to watch you save all these people, knowing no one ever saved him.

yes, i’m actively sobbing over a video game character. i want something more painful than just death for cazador.

[puppyeared]

One of these days they’ll make an update where it gives you a feedback pop up when u try to unfollow someone

[rescuehumans-runtotherescue]

Nobody:

Me: what if child washed up on the island somehow and was amnesic and tests were done and the burns find out this person is related to them and woodrow is called to the island to do tests too and it’s found out he’s the father and had no clue he had a kid and child gains memories and their mother is awful and Charlie and Woodrow get legal rights to child and now Kade Dani Graham and Cody have a cousin to get to know

[aroace-poly-show]

oh speaking of hw btw. you remember rui’s whole “thank you for giving me the chance to change” thing towards tsukasa….….hw tsukasa being the one to give hw a second chance……idk they’re all convinced they’re hopeless and then this stupid star persuades them enough to join him and ghrdsgfygfndfnshansdngyhgsadfn

[jimmy-is-a]

Incoming rant about my precious darling, Sheriff Jimmy Solidarity. (Disclaimer: I am talking about the characters and the plot only! All my love goes out for all the creators of Empires. It’s just the actions of the characters that I have a problem with.)

Watch the newest episode, was planning on making posts out of it, and instead I just died of grief

Jimmy is all alone in tumble town. No one else lives with him. Everyone his ever met has been cruel or indifferent to him in some way. Everyone has laughed at him. He just wants basic human kindness, and he’ll take it from anyone. He built vacation houses and begged for his neighboring rulers to spend some time in them because of his crushing loneliness. He found an strange, old man in a cave underneath his town and immediately wants to be best friends.

When he asks for respect, many interpret it as demanding the kind of authoritative respect, like he’s supreme leader of everyone in Empires or something. But no. At this point, he’s pleading for even a shred of basic respect. He just wants someone, anyone, to treat him like a person. To treat him with an ounce of dignity.

Everyone, including Jimmy sometimes, acts like what he’s asking for is some huge, impossible feat. But in reality, all someone has to do is say hello, have a normal conversation with him, behave like a normal person, respect some boundaries, and then don’t act like doing these bare necessities are some great luxury that they are so kindly gifting to the unworthy Jimmy. Don’t threaten to take away this shred of kindness if he does one thing you don’t like.

fWhip is especially guilty of this. He was nice to Jimmy for awhile, then fWhip got his feelings hurt and then treated Jimmy like trash. Then, this goblin has the audacity to say on stream that he’ll be nice again if Jimmy just apologizes. That, my esteemed followers, is called manipulation and abuse. No, fWhip, you can’t just treat Jimmy like a tool that is no longer useful to you. You should treat him like a person, because he is one.

Sorry that this rant got so long, I just have many feelings about my baby boy Jimmy. I promise I’m not actually mad at anyone, especially not the creators or anything. I just have emotionally attached myself to the character of Sheriff Jimmy, and if I could wrap him up in blankets and give him little forehead kisses and never let anyone or anything hurt him again, I would.

[skyland2703]

.

[saintlesbian]

as for the rest of the ep…

Chalynn truthers we won. we fucking won 🍾🍾🍾

Lois trying to talk Ned into making peace w/ Michael and Drew sounds REAL funny knowing that drew and Michael r still planning on pushing him out of ELQ again. fuck those two forever actually, y’all can make peace in hell

speaking of drewfus, I wish I could be glad he’s leaving but it’s not for very long and crew is gonna be annoying abt it I’m sure. this version of drew is such a shell of himself that anytime hes brought up I just feel disgusted 😖

I’m getting tired of Sonny bringing up Carly when talking to nina it just feels WEIRD… I really don’t wanna see a Carson reunion but it’s starting to feel like the pikeman/cyrus bs might end up being the catalyst for one… sonaritas should we be worried. 😟

also Tolly agreeing to use krissy as the surrogate… wasn’t there literally a whole argument against doing this months back that resulted in tolly icing krissy out for several weeks…? once again I must assert this whole surrogate storyline is a load of barnacles