#if there's something u want specifically let me know otherwise I'll just do my normal thing

[zetterbabe]

😛 (05.10.24)

[chaotic-archaeologist]

hey i followed u for archaeology but since you seem to be open to sex ed questions i thought i'd shoot haha.

so i'm a trans guy, i don't have bottom dysphoria, i would like to use my vagina during sex for bottoming. but i have vaginismus. real bad. and possible vaginal atrophy. not looking to treat it with advice from this blog, not coming here for medical assistance, but to put it simply there is no way i can use that thang. hole is closed for business. even to pinky fingers. that shit hurted.

i can and have topped, and bottomed for anal sex. so that's not an issue. i'm open to doing those things. but damn it i would like to use my pussy once in a while and just can't. and i have virgin-adjacent prowess / confidence / experience in sex so i'm bad at communicating my needs and wants.

you got any.. i dont know.. tips? advice? for telling a potential partner that the front hole's off limits without making them think im unsexy? the anxiety's so bad i've fully rejected people i really liked for serious relationships, and turned down hookups, because some part of my brain thinks i'm not worth having sex with if my partner can't use my vagina. especially since testosterone has given me "abnormal" anatomy that i only trust other trans people with and being t4t means i get a lot of people who expect vagina from me, who i then have to disappoint.

this is a stupid specific question so i apologise it isn't really general sex ed but i guess i just need some communication tips because i dont even know where to start.

Okay, first off, I'm sorry that it's taken me a while to respond to this, but I wanted to really think about my answer. Also, for the record: this is always the kind of sex ed question that I am willing to answer. I think more people need to be willing to talk about this sort of stuff.

The primary thing I want to address is wherever you're getting your definition of normal, both in terms of anatomy and sexual function. Because the circumstances you describe are wholly within the realm of 'normal experiences' for people who have a vagina. Vaginismus, vulvodynia, and vaginal atrophy are not relegated to trans men. You are not abnormal. There is nothing wrong with you.

A lot of the porn out there featuring trans men does have them receiving vaginal penetration. Porn is not a representative sample of the population. Do not let porn define what sex is for you.

Personally, my advice would be to treat this as a litmus test for potential sexual partners. If someone wants something and doesn't care/is put off that it hurts you, that is not a person you want to be having sex with. If someone is "disappointed" because you won't receive vaginal penetration, that is their fucking problem, not yours. There are so many things you can do that do not involve vaginal penetration—be excited about those!

As for bringing this up with potential partners, I'm a big advocate for early and honest communication. If it looks like you might be getting down and dirty with someone, you can just say something along the lines of "hey, heads up, but I don't do vaginal penetration/front hole is closed for business/etc." If you really want to get ahead of the issue, you could even put this in your bio on various apps.* *You don't owe anyone an explanation, but you can choose to elaborate as to why.

I'll also point out that there's a halfway option here. It is totally valid to say "look, I am into this thing (vaginal penetration) in concept, but not in physicality." You can talk about it. You can text about it. You can do these things while you're doing other stuff! It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

To me, it sounds like you have 100% of the necessary components for having sex: the desire to have sex in the first place, activities that you can/do enjoy, and a willing partner. That's it. That's all you need.

You are worth so much more than what a single part of your body can/can't offer. Sex does not equal any sort of penetration, vaginal or otherwise. Find someone you trust, get creative, and don't be afraid to enjoy yourself.

-Reid

[aristre]

bbg pls assign mitski songs to jjk characters (gojo, geto, nanami, yuji, megumi, nobara) 🫶🏻 and write 5 paragraphs explaining why

always. ur wish is my command. i say be the change u wish to see in the world and ur words are my change. and wish. i lost track of my metaphor. anyways see u on the other side.

dude i don't even wanna tag this anymore. this isn't even going in the masterlist. i'm tired

mitski songs and jjk characters

satoru gojo:

last wish of a shooting star

everyone knows gojo is your best american girl but that would be too easy wouldn't it be aaesuki. much too easy to say and analyze and you don't want easy from me. you want a challenge. i'll give you a challenge

to me gojo has always been a shooting star kind of existence, bright and brief and he orbits the lives of everyone who he does not touch and becomes something larger than life. this song in particular is a reflection before death and i'd like to think it's gojo before him and that box. you know

[i always wanted to die clean and pretty / but i'd be too busy on working days / so i am relieved that the turbulence wasn't forecasted / i couldn't have changed anyways] dude's the poster child of the jujutsu world of course he's always going this way and that doing whatever he needs to do. the only way he's gonna get a real break is thru getting put out of commission. aka the box.

suguru geto:

pearl diver

i was thinking about it and don't you think it kind of fits? pearl diver as a song about seeking something up until death. geto always having searched for a world that rewards the unfortunate jujutsu sorcerers and punishes those that beat them down, wanting for his own idea of justice. up until his death that is.

[the creatures of your woken mind / don't fear them or their hunger / forgive the sea, follow the tide / with the monsters on your shoulder] him and those mf curses. if you can't see it i fear there's nothing more i can say

[oh, hunter, if you didn't want / the beautiful so badly / perhaps you would've found it / in your spirit singing softly / but hunter, you were human / don't forget it and go safely] him wanting this perfect world SO badly deriding the humans and emphasizing the sorcerers when they're really the same thing in the end. humans and sorcerers. YOU were descended from monkeys idiot. instead he goes off on genocide quest

kento nanami:

working for the knife

dude this is my go to mitski jjk song. but specifically it fits nanami so well bc it's about working for the knife; the knife is a killing implement at times, a helpful tool otherwise, just like exorcism saves some lives and dooms the sorcerers to death

[i used to think i'd be done by twenty / now at twenty-nine the road ahead appears the same] he's been a jujutsu sorcerer through school and through adulthood, and even if he took a break to become a capitalist cog you don't ever stop being a jujutsu sorcerer

[i start the day lying and end with the truth / that i'm dying for the knife] you see?!?! you see?!?!? you see that aaesuki?!

yuuji itadori:

a burning hill

this one i can relate to both sukuna's possession of his body but also the impending execution he has to face. once you see it you'll see it.

[and i am the fire, and i am the forest / and i am a witness watching it / i stand in a valley watching it] him being the fire or the destructive force under the control of sukuna, him being the forest or the victim of those acts, and him being the witness or the possessed man with no choice but to let them happen.

[so today, i will wear my white button-down / i can at least be neat walk out and be seen as clean / and i'll go to work, and i'll go to sleep / and i'll love the littler things] this part being yuuji's reflection on his impending execution and having to live life as normal anyways. white button down and being neat could be what he wears to his execution, but it can also be his uniform as he goes to school (work) and ends his day (sleep) as normal, acting as if he won't be put to death once all the fingers are found. loving the littler things is him trying to enjoy his life to the fullest and making those dang friends before his inevitable execution

megumi fushiguro:

everyone

i think i hit a stroke of genius w this one. two specific lines rlly stand out to me as megumi-y but overall, the song being abt mitski and her music career harkens to megumi and the jujutsu world w me. in another world he would not have had to become a sorcerer, but in another another world he'd have grown up in the zenin clan. this song is about mitski's leap of faith and success in her music career but it's also about megumi going into a place of no return

[and i opened my arms wide to the dark / i said, "take it all, whatever you want" / i didn't know that i was young] the dark on the surface is his jujutsu technique w shadows and him giving himself to the technique, but it's also the jujutsu world and how he's been working for the knife (teehee) since young. boy never had a chance to be a child w daddy neglect and jujutsu sorcery and tsumiki. ya

[sometimes i think i am free / until i find i'm back in line again] this reminds me of the culling game arc and tsumiki. yeah. if you know you know

nobara kugisaki:

townie

honestly i can totally see this. nobara as a hotheaded teen who does exactly what she wants to, consequences be damned. in this song i see it as her willingness to follow her own path regardless of what the world tells her to, whether it be society or jujutsu higher ups.

[and i want a love that falls as fast / as a body from the balcony, and / i want to kiss like my heart is hitting the ground / i'm holding my breath with a baseball bat] this part in particular speaks to me as her willingness to engage in self destruction for her goals (her technique being something that often requires immolation of her own body) but also her aggressive nature. i still love you girl <3

[though i don't know what i'm waiting for / i am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be] these lines being about how she doesn't care about conforming to or subverting societal expectations; rather, she is whatever she decides she'll be a la her conversation with the witch broom girl i forgot.

[desertdxg]

man how did u find the hottest kinkiest ppl to play with teach me ur ways

im not sure if this was a rhetorical question or not BUT i'm gonna answer it seriously and in way too much detail anyway because i had some Thoughts (tm) while writing this

SO alright anon let me give ya the flowk1ng method to finding and getting the hottest kinkiest people to play with you (tho your mileage may vary):

Step 1: Download Grindr (or a similar hookup app, i really only use Grindr tho so this answer will be focussed on my experiences on there). You instantly have access to so many hot people who are probably pretty kinky just by doing this (but also- if you're trans like me anon, be careful because there are people on there who are chasers / creepy about it. The block button is your best friend!)

Step 2: Fill out your details, including kinks/things you're into, what you want out of experiences, if you can host or not, limits, etc. I am very direct in my Grindr bio. It doesn't stop the occasional dumbass from waltzing into my messages asking to eat my pussy, but it will let those hot kinky people know that you might be a good match for them

Step 3: Go message some people! Put yourself out there! I always chat people for a while before meeting up and make crystal clear what we want to happen in this encounter, what we're into, limits, establishing a safeword (if necessary). Usually your genuine creeps will reveal themselves pretty quickly, even if they don't mean to. It is insane how easily creeps tell on themselves and don't even know it. Never be desperate to meet up with someone- it's never ended well for me whenever i've done it. Good communication and transparency are key to making any good sexual/kinky relationship work. You'll find a lot of your best guys (like the ones i tend to talk about) this way, because they value those same things.

Pro Tips, some of these are lighthearted, others very serious:

1. The block button is your best friend! No really. It is. Get well acquainted with it. I have a very long Grindr blocklist because of someone who squicked me out, or was an asshole, and i've really only had like 2 bad Grindr experiences because of this.

2. Do not EVER compromise on your boundaries. EVER. If you're talking with someone, no matter how hot they seem, or how good they talk dirty and get ya goin, if they can't respect your boundaries and limits they need to kick rocks. I've compromised for a few guys and it's never been worth it.

3. Just because someone messages you does not mean they are entitled to a response from you. There are guys on all these apps, not just Grindr, who seem to think otherwise. This circles back to tip #1- the block button is your best friend.

4. A few red flags for Grindr usernames/bios i've come across:

- Capital Ts: if someone has a name like "👀 2 parTy" or something in that vein, they are typically into hard drugs, most specifically, crystal meth. If that's not your scene, avoid like the plague.

- 👀TS / TS only / 4 TS / etc.: Basically if someone has "TS" in their username, especially if they have "seeking" / "looking for" before the "TS", they're a trans chaser/fetishizer. These guys also tend to be super fucking weird. I've met no normal guy with "TS" in their username or bio.

- DL or str8: These guys aren't out of the closet or open about their sexuality, which is fine! That's not the part I have a problem with. I'm actually personally stealth in my normal day to day life. But because of that, a lot of these guys tend to be huge pricks and can get very aggressive in a not sexy way. I just tend to avoid them personally

5. I use a lot of little emojis (specifically these 3: 🥰🥵🥺) when texting guys. i also tend to type in all lowercases. i'll also reply with 'mmm' or 'fuck' a lot if they say something particularly hot. For some reason it works really well with those hot kinky types you're looking for.

6. A lot of this is honestly just trying things and seeing what sticks. You eventually find a rhythm for how you wanna dirty talk, or flirt, or just generally be when you're getting ready to have some fun. What I described in #5 is what works best for me, but that may not be the case for you and that's fine! If you've found a good one for you, it'll be pretty easy to find that flow and it'll almost come natural. And tbh bouncing ideas off each other and fantasizing together between sessions is honestly one of the most fun parts of having a long term sexual relationship with someone.

7. I only give out off-app contact info (like my phone #, for example) after I've met someone in person and gotten a good feel for how they are. And after I've seen if we actually have chemistry and if i could see myself hooking up with them again. I highly recommend doing the same, it's worked very well for me so far.

Also sorry that this got so long and got into kind of dark territory at times, I just really want ya to be safe, anon (and anyone else reading), in your quest to find your own hot kinky people to have fun with! I hope this helps, haha

Thanks a bunch for the ask!

[pt-disconnected]

As everyone continued to take their time in the Dark World to understand the situation better, Player sat down off to the side, trying to tie a few loose ends together. It had been a strange couple of days... at least, it had seemed like a couple of days. There was no telling what was going on in their home world, and no clear way to get back. What were they supposed to do? Trapped in a world they had never expected to be reality, and trying to help the ones that had been affected by the Player arriving... it felt like it wasn't right, but did they have a choice? However it wasn't long before someone else sat down nearby, with their own issues on their mind. At first, the Player had expected to see Kris. But instead, they discovered that it was Berdly- with a lot less of the usual attitude normally seen. Instead, it seemed more like he was reflecting on his own past.

"...Hey, Player. I know you're probably having your own self-reflection moment. But, as Susie pointed out, you're probably the only one who is able to understand the more... well, complicated aspects of what I tend to say. So, I guess that I feel like you might be able to understand what I've had to deal with in the past..."

The Player looked at him, surprised to hear this coming from Berdly of all possibilities. But, he seemed completely serious... so the Player nodded a bit. "...Okay. I'll try to listen." they said, looking to Berdly and awaiting the response.

Berdly chuckled half-heartedly. "...Thanks. I guess it's been a while since I had anyone who I felt any form of comfort for showing my... normal side around. And who might actually understand the situation as well. Because, if I'm being absolutely honest, I'd rather be more like Kris. Or Noelle. Or anyone else in my class, even..." "Back when I found that I was more intelligent than others in my age group, I was thrilled. I was able to learn and make use of the knowledge much faster and easier than others. And I enjoyed it- I wanted to learn more and I wanted to do the best I could with it, whatever that would be." The smile faded entirely from his face. If his face wasn't covered by the blue of his feathers, it would obviously be pale. "But as I showed that I had a talent for learning, others started to shun me instead of cheer. I'd never have the chance to answer, teachers would never help on the rare occasions when I needed it, and I was generally looked down upon." "And as time went on, it got worse. I was told that I needed to use my intelligence for something useful and was always pushed into learning specific topics- ones that I had learned long beforehand. I was forced into situations that I never had to be in, and that certainly were not ones anyone would want to end up in, simply because of being told that my intelligence would be useless otherwise." Berdly let out a sigh, continuing to recount the past. "I lost the drive to learn more. I knew everything I needed to, so why bother learning any more if I was supposedly never going to use it? It felt like I would just be pushed down if I tried to learn something that wasn't necessary, so I just worked with the box I had been put in and lived with it." The Player could do nothing but be silent. It was a very unusual situation- normally it was a kid who was already down being shoved further, but Berdly had clearly been one with immense potential- until the world had shoved him in a box and told him what he had to be, even though he could do so much more. Now, his half-hearted smile returned, and was clearly far from genuine. "...Once I did that though, everyone looked up to me as a role model. I was exactly what I had thought I'd be by learning everything I could, but instead of learning everything, I was only meant to learn what I needed and nothing more. I was special. But, if I had known what being special entailed, I would have happily stayed just like everyone else. Now I had to constantly show that I was 'special' so that people wouldn't get upset or call me out on it..." He looked towards Card Castle, where the rest of the group was. "Noelle was one of the few who actually treated me like a normal person. She never thought of me as more than anyone else- nor less. She treated me like an equal- something that I hadn't had for a long time. And again, I'd rather be equal at this point."

"As for Susie... well, honestly, it's a bit of an amusing situation there. She definitely didn't treat me the nicest- but, she didn't treat anyone very nicely anyways. She was equal-opportunist- which actually made me feel that same way. I felt like she just thought of me the same as any other person." He chuckled some, a small, more genuine smile showing now. "And now, seeing that she has a kinder side- even if she is, well, still Susie- it makes me wonder if I could at least show this bottled-up part of myself to them. Because it seems like Susie did just that- she opened up to you, and Kris, and Noelle. If she can do that, then surely I can do the same."

The Player sighed some, unsure how to respond. But Berdly spoke first, to their surprise. "...You know, it... felt good to get that out. It's been a lot to handle for so long. But, with that off my back, maybe I can do more with my life than fit in a box. Because, clearly there's more out there than just what other people think I need."

Berdly looked at the Player. "...Whether you processed any of that or not, thank you for at least letting me get that out. I should probably go and meet up with the others." he said, getting up and walking to the castle.

The Player blinked, then blinked again. They opened their mouth to speak, closed it, and then opened it again simply to say "...what?"

Berdly releasing emotional pressure- lots of it. Well, we have an alternative backstory for Berdly. Since Chapter 2 isn't canon in Paper Trail, I thought that maybe some of the lore from it could be adjusted for the story. In this case, he is actually intelligent, and was forced to act a certain way in order to 'fit in'. I think that this would have been another fitting way for Berdly's backstory to play out, but I'm not Toby Fox. So this is just my view of what could have happened. Also, this is technically only a partial... part. It's mostly one character speaking after all- so it's more of a lore chunk than it is an actual part of story. Thus this will technically be Part 16.5 since it's short and not very much is going on. Regardless, it is still a chunk of story and may or may not explain Berdly's 'crush' on Susie (I'm not shipping them, and likely never will, but I can say that they will have a dynamic that might be useful for story purposes down the road.), so I'm posting it regardless. Hoping to get more story down soon, but until then, see ya! Previous Part | First Part | Next Part

LynxGriffin’s Paper Trail Comic

(This part of Disconnected is completely unique and takes place somewhere around the middle of part 66 in Lynx's comic. It may not have any normal reference, but I highly recommend reading the comic anyways so that you have more of an idea what's going on!)

[s1utspeare]

for the whump prompts, brigid my beloved 💕 either heihua 'Don't give me that bullshit', or fuba 'I knew it, you're sick.' 'Go away'

JACK MY LOVE!!!! GIVING ME THE FUBA!!!!!!! THIS IS SO GOODDDDD i love u. also yeah i'm obviously doing fuba who do you take me for

Send me a prompt and some characters and I'll write some whump!

Ba-ye is... well. He's not doing great.

He's not bad, really. It's just a cold, more than likely, maybe a flu if he's that unlucky, but nothing he's going to die from. It's just a headache and swollen sinuses and full-body aches and chills and a fever and... well, maybe he's less fine than previously anticipated.

That doesn't mean he's going to take the day off, though. He hasn't been able to read fortunes for weeks now because SOMEONE keeps dragging him off into tombs and on expeditions and not letting him run his business, which is what he's supposed to be doing with his life, but Fo-ye apparently thinks that all of Ba-ye's time is fully his. Which is generally is. That's beside the point.

The point is that even if he wanted to, which he doesn't, Ba-ye really doesn't have the means to take a day off, not when he doesn't know when he'll get a chance to actually do business again. He has an assistant to pay and turtles to feed. He can't be sick.

The universe, unfortunately, thinks otherwise.

He's gotten through about four customers, and each one had been harder than the last. His most recent was a woman who wanted to know whether or not her son would be able to find a good woman to marry, and even though Ba-ye had told her that he wasn't able to tell her son's fortune from her palms, she had insisted, so he had come up with some vague answer that sounded at least half-believable and wasn't specific enough for her to come after him later and demand why the fortune had been wrong. He doesn't normally like swindling his customers like that, but desperate times.

So now he's got his face resting on the tabletop, head turned to the side and arms dangling, feeling like he's just ran through a tomb and gotten kicked by a horse, both of which he has had the great misfortune to experience. He's honestly contemplating just shutting the store down now, because he doesn't think that he'll be able to do much more in this state, but before he can make a decision one way or another, there's footsteps on the floor, and he sits up so quickly that his head spins.

It's not a customer, though, just Zhang Rishan, who enters with his strides sure, but his face open and his shoulders hunched, as if he's not sure whether or not he's allowed in Ba-ye's shop. This is very stupid, because of course he is. He's even been here before, though not nearly as often as Fo-ye, which makes Ba-ye wonder why Zhang Rishan is visiting him now.

"Zhang fuguan," he says, trying not to sound as congested as he feels. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I came to deliver a message," Zhang Rishan says, looking around as though he's expecting ghosts or something to start flooding from the walls.

"From Fo-ye?"

"No," Zhang Rishan says, "From Zhang Furen, actually."

Ba-ye raises an eyebrow. "When did you become Yin Xinyue's messenger boy?"

"I'm not," Zhang Rishan says, "But Fo-ye's at a tribunal and I got kicked off the training grounds."

"Why?" Ba-ye asks, curious.

Zhang Rishan looks mildly unhappy. "I broke two of the training dummies, so Fo-ye told me to go home."

Ba-ye wants to laugh, but his head hurts too much. He coughs, clears his throat. "How did you manage that?"

"I don't know," Zhang Rishan says. "I kicked them."

If Ba-ye hadn't seen the Zhang strength in action, he wouldn't have believed that Zhang Rishan did enough damage with just his legs, but he has, so he does. "What does Furen want?" He coughs again. Gods, his throat is sore.

Zhang Rishan frowns, a little fold appearing between his eyebrows. It's very cute, the way his nose scrunches up and little indents appear at the corner of his mouth. "She wants you to come to dinner. Are you okay?"

"Fine," Ba-ye says, even though his head is pounding, and he can't breathe through his nose correctly. He wants to go to bed. "Dinner?"

Zhang Rishan nods, still looking at Ba-ye suspiciously. "Fo-ye's supposed to be home on time for once, so she thought it would be nice if you and Er-ye came over. Jiu-ye too, maybe, if he's free. I'm supposed to go to him next."

Ba-ye sighs, because while he would like to have dinner with his friends, he's not so sure he'll be able to get from this table to his room without having to take a break, much less across town to Fo-ye's house. Plus, he doesn't want to get any of the rest of them sick, even if they're all stronger than horses. It hasn't been that long since Fo-ye and Er-ye were unresponsive in a tiny village, and he really doesn't want to put any more stress on their delicate health (he knows both of them would pin him down with their twin glares if he said that to their faces, but it's a funny thought).

"Tell Zhang Furen thank you, but I'll have to decline for tonight," Ba-ye says. "I'm not planning on closing the shop until late." Actually, he's planning on closing it as soon as Zhang Rishan leaves, but he can't tell him that. It's a good excuse.

Zhang Rishan does not look as though he's going to accept this. "Ba-ye."

"What?"

"You're... you don't look like yourself," Zhang Rishan says slowly, apparently trying for tact, but not especially good at it.

"Thank you," Ba-ye says sarcastically. "I appreciate that."

"I don't mean it like that," Zhang Rishan protests.

"Well, I can assure you that I'm—" He's cut off by his breath catching in his throat, and then he's coughing, the sound rough and grating on his throat, and he doubles over in his seat, trying to get his breath back.

"Ba-ye!" Zhang Rishan exclaims, and Ba-ye hears him rushing over, a hand on his back, even though he's distracted by his lungs trying to come out through his mouth. "You... breathe, Ba-ye. Please."

Ba-ye thinks, what do you think I'm trying to do? but he takes Zhang Rishan's advice and tries to quiet himself, letting Zhang Rishan's hand between his shoulder blades become an anchor as he rubs little circles there, trying to help Ba-ye work out whatever's trying to come up, and eventually he gets it. His breath is still a little rattly, but at least he's not dying anymore.

"I'm fine," he gasps.

"No," Zhang Rishan says, "You're not. I knew it." He sounds accusing, as though Ba-ye had chosen this. "You're sick."

"Not," Ba-ye says. "Go away." He waves towards the door. "Go give Jiu-ye your invitation. I'm fine."

"Ba-ye, you're—"

"See, I'll prove it," Ba-ye says, and stands up. This turns out to be a mistake, because the next thing he sees is the ground, and the thing after that is darkness.

***

He comes to in his own bed, which he knows by the smell of the bundles of spices he has tucked under his pillows to ward away spirits, and the weight of the comforter over him. His glasses are gone, so everything's fuzzy, but he suspected it would be anyways.

There's footsteps, again, somewhere just out of sight, and when he turns his head to the side to try and pinpoint them, he sees Zhang Rishan wearing a path in his floorboards, his arms folded so that his hands are each holding the opposite elbow, like he does whenever he's nervous. Ba-ye wants to give him a hug whenever he does that, because otherwise it looks like Zhang Rishan is trying to hug himself, to get any sort of comfort he can, and Ba-ye doesn't like the idea that Zhang Rishan needs a hug and is too afraid to ask for one.

He clears his throat and is surprised to find that his voice isn't nearly as hoarse as he expected it to be. "Fuguan."

Zhang Rishan stops pacing immediately, whirling to the bed and dropping to his knees besides Ba-ye, so that he's looking him in the eyes. It's a strange position, in all honesty, and Ba-ye has to blink a few times before he gets used to the sight in front of him.

"Ba-ye," Zhang Rishan says. "How... are you alright? You passed out, and so I carried you here, I hope that's okay. I was waiting for you to wake up before I went and got the doctor, but you were really quiet for a long time, and I didn't know if I should leave you or not, and I didn't want to go before you were awake, so I just. I stayed. Um. There's water, do you want water? Do you need anything else, do you—"

"Zhang Rishan," Ba-ye interrupts him. "Stop. You're making my headache worse."

Zhang Rishan snaps his mouth closed so quickly that his teeth clack together.

Ba-ye sighs. "That wasn't an order," he says. "I'm not Fo-ye."

At the mention of Fo-ye's name, Zhang Rishan flinches, which is perhaps the strangest and most worrisome thing that Ba-ye has ever seen, and he's immediately on guard. First Zhang Rishan was rambling, and now he's wincing because of Fo-ye.

"What's wrong?" he asks sharply. "What's the matter?"

Zhang Rishan blinks at him, confused. "I don't... I'm fine, Ba-ye, you're the one who's sick."

"You flinched," Ba-ye says, already struggling to sit up, even though it makes his head whirl. 

He closes his eyes to stave off the lightheadedness, but what he's not expecting is for Zhang Rishan to grab both of his shoulders, making his head flop back a little, and cry, “Ba-ye!” 

Ba-ye blinks his eyes back open, pulling his head back in surprise. Zhang Rishan seems just as shocked, but he doesn��t pull away, just stares at Ba-ye with his eyes wide and scared. 

“Zhang Rishan,” Ba-ye says slowly, almost a whisper, because his voice is too crackly to really convey what he wants it too. “Why are you looking at me like I’m on death’s door?” He wriggles his shoulders free, takes Zhang Rishan’s hands and puts them on the mattress, keeping his own on top of them. “It’s just the flu, I’m pretty sure. I’ll be fine.” 

Zhang Rishan looks down at their hands, at Ba-ye’s cupping his, even though Ba-ye’s are smaller. 

“You passed out,” he says, his voice very low and very soft. “You passed out, and you wouldn’t wake up.” 

Oh, Ba-ye thinks, Oh no. He knew that Zhang Rishan had had a hard time with Fo-ye’s illness, his anxiety on overload at all times for days, but he hadn’t thought about what would happen now. Fo-ye’s better. They solved it. Everything’s fine. 

Apparently not. 

“I’m okay,” he says. “It’s not the same kind of sickness. I didn’t get it in a tomb.” He snorts a little, the sound much grosser than normal given all the phlegm in his head. “Actually, I’m pretty sure I caught it from the fishmonger, that idiot.” 

Zhang Rishan still isn’t looking at him. “You’re still sick.” 

“Yes,” Ba-ye sighs, “I suppose I am.” He turns his head to the side to cough. “But I’ll get better. All by myself, too. I promise.” 

“Don’t,” Zhang Rishan says unhappily. “Don’t promise things.” 

Ba-ye winces internally. He forgets, sometimes, that Zhang Rishan is only twenty, and even though he’s seen a lot more than many of them (Ba-ye still doesn’t know what all the lieutenant has seen), he’s only just barely an adult. He needs looking after, sometimes. 

“Okay,” he says, softly, trying to be reassuring. “I won’t promise things.” 

Zhang Rishan takes a moment, a breath, and then he stands up and straightens, his arm twitching by his side as if he’s going to salute Ba-ye, like he would Fo-ye, and Ba-ye would think it was funny if he wasn’t watching Zhang Rishan very clearly trying to scramble the pieces of himself back into place. 

“I’ll go get Mo Yisheng,” he says. “She’ll be able to help.” He takes one last look at Ba-ye, as if he’s trying to memorize him before he goes, and then disappears through the door, his steps so light that Ba-ye hardly hears him go. 

[princemick-archive]

i’m not the original anon but i’d personally love to see an in-depth gif tutorial if you’re willing to do it!💜

alright lets go, its gonna be long with screenshots so its all below the tab. I hope all of this makes sense btw idk if it does I learned this all myself so I do not have the right words for it aksjbdkjb

first off I use OBS to record and Photoshop to gif but lets go

aight so first off ofc u have the video file which I just straight import into photoshop without doing anything by going

file -> import -> video frames to layers

then I use the lil thingys at the bottom to select the part I want to gif

then u wait like 6 hours because fuck photoshop and then you always need to remember to have your timeline on which you do by going

window -> timeline

otherwise you wont see the video. then it all depends on what and how I wanna gif, the video I'm using now I recorded with OBS which I know imports at 0,02 second per frame thats the lil number at the bottom of your timeline

I personally like my gifs to be pretty quick so I just add 0,01 to it so when I record w obs I almost always make it 0,03 sometimes slower if I want it to be.

sometimes a video records quicker or slower I always just play to see what I got to work with. anyway you change it by going to the three lil stripes on the side and click on the select all frames and then I change it to 0,03 otherwise u only change the one you clicked on atm

after that I change the amount of frames to what I want. most of my gifs are about 60-80 frames but it depends on if I wanna show something specific.

but for this I wanna gif 220 frames so I just use my calculator to devide it into the amount of gifs I want. for this I'll do 3 so its at about 73 frames. so I make sure I have the 73th frame selected before converting

then we go to the lil three lines again and click on convert to video timeline this time

this is what it should look like when you do that

then the first thing I do is use the little selection dragger things to to to my little marker so the selection is at 73 frames (that selection is the part you're eventually gonna export)

then I select all my layers on the layers tab, select all of those layers and convert them to smart objects by right clicking and going to convert to smart object in that tab

I do this to make the gifs smoother and so I can sharpen them. after you do that you should only have one layer and your timeline should still be able to move if you click play

then we do the actual fun part. so first things first, shape it to whatever size you want, there are like size rules for tumblr for gifs in like what way they show the best I am lazy and just do what feels right with what gif.

for this I'm making it easy and just giffing the full screen so we're just gonna grab the lil crop tool and well.. crop

then this is what it looks like rn for me if I export the gif, this works but I normally sharpen and colour to make it more aestetically pleasing and all that

so what I do at this time is open a psd I have saved with a bunch of different colouring and my watermark to make it easier for me. so I add the watermark at this point and then I start sharpening.

sharpening is a bit more detailed and its all up to your own preferences but to sharpen you make sure you have your layer of ur gif selected and then you go to

filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen

and then you just do what looks good I have two sharpening presets which look like this

and the second is this

and then I like a lil more spice in my sharpening so I also add a 'sharpen edges' which is with the name filter -> sharpen area as before

and this is what a sharpened gif looks like without colouring but I think the difference between this one and the one before is pretty big already

then the actual fun fun part COLOURINGGG. so for me I have a psd saved with a bunch of colouring that works for differents things like podiums, interviews etc, for this I obv dont have a saved psd so I'm just gonna play around with colouring

you do colouring by going to your layers all the way down and clicking on the little half moon, here you just play around and do what ever u want.

for me the first thing I do is to to 'levels' and choose what part I want black, then I fix basic lighting changes with 'color balance', after that I go into 'vibrance' and kick up the vibrance bc I love a colourful gif and then I just play around with 'selective colour'

(if ya'll wanna know how I do colouring I'd love to explain into more detail if u all want)

and then, then we go onto the shitty part the export so you go to

file -> export -> save for web (legacy)

then you see a big very probably complicated looking screen so I'm just gonna show my settings, you can play around with this if you want until its something you like but this is what I personally like the most

then at the imagine size I just change the size until the mb is small enough for tumblr.

tumblr gifs work best if its less then 5mb (you can see the mb on the bottom left, in the sc here its 17.m) so I just change the size until its up to that 5m currently its at 900 x 723 so I just change the with to 500 and its linked so its automatically gonna take the height to 402.

this is still to big eventually the size that worked was 420 x 362. then you click on save and name it whatever u want also in the end I croped the size a lil but

this is the final result.

yay lil purple mick

I hope this helped someone in how I work and for those who dont gif it made it clear how much FUCKING time it takes to make these. this took me like 30 mins so if I didnt have to type at the same time one gif takes me about 15 minutes to make and I have a pretty new and fast laptop so it can take a lot.

anyway yep, mwah hope this helped anyone have fun giffing!!