#if you draw people with like. ‘average’ amounts of body fat instead of your usual skinny twinks and call that fat representation then

[gayestcowboy]

it’s so lame and boring and straight up embarrassing when artists don’t draw fat people,,, y’all are such cowards. draw fat people or perish at my hand

[wolf-and-bard]

So, I wrote a Lambert x Aiden thing because of a conversation I had with @littoraly-art, so here we go. It’s hurt/comfort, but very much on the angsty side.

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: explicit language, (brief) mentions of self-harming behaviour

You can also read it on AO3 if you want to

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The hunt didn’t go according to plan. Lambert underestimated the amount of ghouls that would crawl out of that shithole and fought them well into the night, dodging and striking, dodging and striking for hours on end. They chased him through the forest and branches whipped at him. More than once, did he narrowly escape their bites and when they were dealt with and he stumbled back to light a bomb in the nest, he wasn’t fast enough on the retreat. His ears still ring and white spots dance at the margins of his vision. Lambert only notices that he’s overdosed on Thunderbolt when he’s already back at the inn he booked for the night, two ales down, and his muscles are still taut, ready to strike, while his sense of self-preservation has plummeted. Fuck. His fingers shake as he gestures for another drink. Sweat gathers at his collar, at the small of his back. He wants to sleep and rest, but he won’t be able to, not with the residue adrenaline.

“Lambert?” someone says and Lambert hunches his shoulders. Maybe if he hides his face, he won’t be recognized. But Aiden’s already emerged from the crowd and, anyway, he would have smelled Lambert the moment he set foot into the building.

“It is you!” Aiden saunters over, all neat bun and scandalously tight gear, his brown hair looking almost black in the downcast light of the inn. His smile is brilliant as he takes the chair opposite Lambert. Takes Lambert’s hands and inspects them for wounds before bringing them to his lips. “Hey, there, pup,” he murmurs against Lambert’s knuckles. Lambert’s heart does skip a beat, but with that comes a flare of anger. Aiden doesn’t get to be lovey and cheerful when Lambert wants to crawl out of his own skin. He hums something indiscernible.

“What is it? Talk to me.”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, really? Alright, if that’s how you want to play it,” Aiden says mockingly, letting Lambert’s hands go. “What? Oh, yes, it is good to see me, isn’t it? How I am? I’m so glad you asked. I managed to haggle a big fat fee on a rock troll couple that were mating up in the mountains and causing avalanches and now I’m drowning in coin. Pretty crazy, right? If I made it okay? Aww, sweetie, there’s no need to worry. Haven’t got a scratch on me. You wanna hear more about it? No, of course it isn’t too much to ask, I will happily oblige.” 

"Just... leave me alone," Lambert cuts in, and lifts his tankard to veil his face. He's good at hiding his emotion, but in the face of whatever this is and with the day he's had... well, his boundaries are more than probed.

“What? So, you can give yourself a sorry hand-job and cry yourself to sleep? No, sir, that would be incredibly pathetic and a crime against humanity.” Aiden smiles and before Lambert can keep drinking, he’s snatched the tankard away and emptied it himself. Great. Now there isn’t even that to hide behind. Lambert likes Aiden, he really does. On most occasions, he’s so overjoyed to see him that he doesn’t recognize himself. Aiden makes him feel… too many things to think about right now. Today though, Lambert’d rather be alone.

“None of your business.”

"Fine, have it your way" Aiden says with a good-natured shrug and, humming, stands. He makes a beeline for the nearest table full of average-to-handsome soldiers with the Temerian blazon on their chests, and slams a hand down on the table. His hips are cocked out, his smile sly, exposing overly sharp canines. They all look up at him with varying degrees of surprise, realisation. “Any of you boys down to fuck a mutant?” Lambert's blood runs cold, he’s had enough of this. He hurls his empty tankard across the room, angling just so he doesn't hit anyone - though no guarantee on the rebound – and leaves.

His armour, clothes and swords are scattered across the small room he rented by the time he makes it into bed, wearing only thin cotton smallclothes. He sits not two minutes, contemplating whether to go asleep or order himself more alcohol to dull the edge of his frustration even further, when Aiden comes into the room, no knock, no courtesy.

“Aren’t you off sucking flaccid cock? Or are you already done the whole lot of them?” Lambert spits, and crosses his arms over his bare chest. Aiden’s eyes darken and he shuts the door behind himself, forceful enough that it rattles, then slips out of his own armour and boots without much ceremony. “Go get your own room, asshole.”

“You know what? Go fuck yourself,” Aiden replies in a measured manner. All his earlier aloofness is gone, replaced by a gravity Lambert has a hard time looking at. Aiden sorts both their stuff into neat piles, then takes Lambert’s swords to the corner chair. Lambert stares at his own knees, but he can hear every tiny movement of Aiden’s hands as he cleans Lambert’s swords, inspects them for chips, pulls out a whetstone to restore their edge. The amount of care this alone conveys almost brings tears to Lambert’s eyes. Aiden could be deep-throating handsome soldiers right now, but instead he’s here, doing for Lambert what he doesn’t have the energy left to do for himself.

When he’s done the swords, Aiden does the same to his own pair, then examines the two sets of armour plating for tears or gashes that need mending. He lines up both chests of potions and counts out what’s missing, takes notes for ingredients. It’s a normal routine, only that usually, each witcher does it for himself. Lambert feels a mixture of embarrassment and affection heat his cheeks, but he doesn’t look up, not yet. Only when Aiden finishes with a soft exhale and wanders over to the bed which dips under his weight, does Lambert uncross his arms. Dares to take a peek. Fuck. He shouldn’t have. Aiden’s pupils are wide in the starlight that falls through the single window, the moon painting him in blues and silvers. Some of his hair has escaped his bun and his lips part on a sigh that expose his teeth. He’s a fucking vision, too gorgeous to be sitting here.

For once, there is quiet, so rare with the two of them. If Lambert lets go of consciousness a little more, it almost feels like a dream. If it were, he would reach out, draw Aiden onto his lap, lose himself in the familiar glide of their bodies against one another. As it is, the silence hangs by a thread and Lambert cuts it, edges fraying into dust between them.

“What,” he barks and Aiden sighs again.

“The only cock I want to suck is yours, idiot. Flaccid or not.

“Is that so?”

“Yes? I thought I had made that abundantly clear.” Aiden has. There have probably been more blowjobs than nights they shared a bed, altogether. And maybe that’s the problem. Aiden might not seem it now, but one day Lambert’s cock will not be enough to make up for his mouth.

"Why were you so obnoxious then?" he asks.

"Because you need to learn not to push me away, Lamb. I'm here, I understand, I'm yours." Three quick sentences that puncture Lambert like barbed arrows. I'm here feels like sparks of an off-kilter Igni that eat at his fingertips. I understand goes right to his gut and makes him feel like he is out on the rocky sea, in a rickety boat all by himself, at the storm's mercy. I'm yours is the lightning that strikes then and short-circuits his nervous system into small spams. He takes a deep breath and the soft kiss Aiden places on the corner of his mouth when he leans over helps quell the panic. "I can't change how I am," he says. Prickly, loud-mouthed, mean.

"You really aren't... no, that's not gonna work, is it? C’mere." Aiden crawls over the bed and settles next to Lambert, draws him against him, his strong arms wrapped firmly around Lambert's bare chest. Lambert's head is throbbing lightly, heartrate kept accelerated from the alcohol, but he deflates a little. Notices the small vial with almost clear liquid Aiden is holding between his index and middle finger. “You didn’t drink it, did you?”

Lambert shrugs. So, maybe he forgot to take the White Honey, fucked-up as he was. So, maybe he didn’t want to take it, stay fucked-up a little longer. He has days like this, where the lingering toxicity of the potions stokes some dark flame deep inside of him, kindled by his hatred for what he is, what he has become. Lambert isn’t prone to self-harm, but this, well. This he is prone to and Aiden is seeing right through him. Fucking cat, fucking.... is this love yet?

“I didn’t.”

“So, do it now.” Aiden uncorks the bottle with one hand and his grip on Lambert tightens so that he would have to struggle to escape it. For a moment, Lambert thinks about refusing. He wants to wallow, dammit, he wants to pity himself and maybe have Aiden pity him too. “Don’t think about it, pup. You can bullshit your way around other people, but not around me,” Aiden continues and holds the vial to Lambert’s lips. Lambert snatches it away and empties it in two long drags. Immediately, his vision sharpens and his lungs clear. His muscles stop trembling and his heartrate settles into its normal, mutated rhythm. “Better?”

“Better,” Lambert agrees sulkily. He tosses the vial aside and sinks back against Aiden.

“You’re really stupid sometimes, you know that?” Aiden says with a sharp edge to his voice, but he noses at Lambert’s ear, under it, breath hot over the skin of Lambert’s throat.

“You’re the one that’s stupid…” Stupid for caring for me. Stupid for still being here.

“Will you stop it already? I’m trying so hard to be patient and you keep pushing me away. Did you forget who I am? What we share?”

“I didn’t,” Lambert says. He is weak and tired. He lets Aiden tug at his chin and half-turn him for a kiss that lingers even after their lips part for breath.

“Then drop the farce. Fuck, I don’t know what to say to you,” Aiden whispers against his mouth, chasing each word with a kiss to Lambert’s lips, the corners of his mouth, his nose. “I love you, Lambert, I love you so fucking much, but I can’t keep prying you out of your shell. Don’t you trust me?”

I want to love you too, Lambert thinks.

With my life, Lambert thinks.

You’re the best person I’ve ever met, Lambert thinks.

But he isn’t ready for that yet and so he settles for the next best thing: “I’m sorry.” The rest of it he pours into their next kiss, one that feels frozen in time for how slow and indulgent it is, the world reduced to the drag of their lips and the scratch of Aiden’s canines, the stuttering of his breath. Lambert wriggles around until he straddles Aiden’s lap with his thighs and frames Aiden’s tanned face with his scarred, pale fingers. Even paler next to his lover. Aiden fucking glows and Lambert is less a man, more a phantom next to him.

“Fuck, puppy, you’re so beautiful, do you know that?” Aiden gasps when they part once more. His hands are splayed over Lambert’s upper back and they are both half-hard against one another, but Lambert doesn’t feel like sex. He feels like curling up and having a good cry. He feels like kissing Aiden again, and so he does.

“And here I am, trying so hard to hide it so you peasants don’t feel bad about yourselves,” Lambert says, on instinct more than anything else. He wants to slap himself, this is exactly what Aiden meant, isn’t it? But Aiden laughs, the fucker, a clear sound that sets loose something fluttery inside of Lambert. Shit. It is love. “I thought the scar would have done the job.”

“Joke’s on you, I adore the scar.” Aiden presses his lips to the bottom of it and drags them along, skipping Lambert’s eye in favour of nuzzling his forehead. It’s ridiculous. It tickles. Lambert laughs and hides his face in Aiden’s neck. Aiden sighs and his hands wander up to Lambert’s head, cradling it. “Promise me something, pup?”

Anything, Lambert thinks. He grunts.

“Allow yourself this. I don’t need you to fall onto your knees and profess your love in some grand gesture, but… don’t shut me out. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Thank you.”

Lambert falls asleep like that, tucked against Aiden’s chest and he wakes in the morning facing the sunrise with an arm slung around his bare torso and Aiden’s nose pressed against the nape of his neck. He allows it to last.

[imagines-forthe-soul]

Can I still request nsfw alphabet, if so can I get one for Shinsou, Mei, or Monoma [BNHA]?

Hope it’s okay, but I decided to do Monoma for this since he is my BABY DADDY!

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Monoma Neito: 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex):

Aftercare with Monoma always has a good chance of turning into another heated round of sex. He is very physical and loving when it comes to aftercare, running his hands over your body to soothe out any kinks or bruises you may have, his mouth pressed against your neck as he whispers sweet nothings to you and plants kiss after kiss against your swollen and flushed skin. His touch is so hot and loving, hands always seeming to find the right spot to lay upon that will make the steamy fire within you rekindle and get you up and ready to be taken by him again.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):

On himself, he loves his eyes the most. He enjoys the way he can trick and deceive people with only his eyes or hide his emotions from those who may be trying to pry into him. Although, what he loves most is how quickly he can make you come undone by just looking at you. Those intense blue hues stare down at you, clouded over this lust all and only for you will make you melt on the spot and he loves every moment of it.

On you, he likes your lips the most. Oddly enough, he doesn’t like it for sexual reasons (not that he doesn’t think of it from time to time). He loves your lips because of how round and plump they are, they’re absolutely kissable and it’s all he can ever think about. The way your lips move to form words or to say his name always makes him feel as though he is floating above the clouds. Whenever you talk, his eyes always seem to drift to your lips, a small smile forming on his own. He feels himself falling deeper and deeper in love with you whenever he see your lips moving, or when he sees you bite them, or even when you let him bite them.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Monoma is a dirty, kinky, disgusting boyo okay!! But he is so in a gentlemanly kind of way… sort of… not really. His cum is a little on the runnier side but doesn’t taste all that bad and knowing that (how he knows that, that’s up to you) he will want to cum in your mouth and watch you swallow it. It turns him on greatly to see you swallow his load so happily after he’s given you a good fucking. Besides that though, he loves seeing his cum on any part of your body, watching as it pours down you, making a mess of you and marking you as his own

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He would like to have his own sex chamber when he gets older for him and his wife. He can’t wait to get the chance to have his own house were he can install a personalized sex chamber for you both to have your fun in. He can imagine having all sorts of toys and playthings in there for you both to try out and experiment with. On his more stressful days he can picture you already in there, a bow on your sweet little innocent head just waiting for him to claim you.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s only ever had sex once in his life with some older woman he met at one of his mother’s parties. It wasn’t the best sex in his opinion (not that he can really compare it to anything else) but the woman was pretty helpful in teaching him a thing or two that he can use in the future. For the most part he does know what he is doing, but once he has a partner he has an emotional connection with, then he will do and learn a lot more to please them.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He loves any position that will allow him to see his partner’s face or that allows for a lot of petting. Monoma is a pretty physical guy and loves to be able to caress his partner in anyway he can both inside and outside of the bedroom. Being able to run his hands over your sides, breasts, hands, stomach, anything really will make him feel so energized and hot during sex. He is hardly ever able to keep his hands off you at times like these. Now when it comes to seeing your face, he just loves seeing you bite your lip to keep your moans at bay, or seeing your face flush a deep red whenever he hits the right spot.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He isn’t really goofy during sex but he can be playful. He likes to make you smile and giggle but not because he has said something funny, but mainly through his actions. He will nuzzle his nose against different parts of your body to tickle you and make you laugh, or playfully flick your nose with his tongue, but that’s about it. Other than that, he is usually serious about sex.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Monoma keeps himself exquistly neat down there. Hair doesn’t exactly bother him unless it is causing him discomfort or pain and usually leaves the majority of his hair alone, but will give it a light trim from time to time to make sure the hairs don’t get caught anywhere and to keep things even. He isn’t ashamed or embarrassed of doing it either. If you so happen to walk in on him giving his pubes a cut with baby scissors, he’ll just ask you if you want a trim too or if you mind getting him some aloe gel so he can shave a little on the sides.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He has romance coming out of his ass. Sex with Monoma will always be romantic and full of love and genuine affection. More often than not, you two will end up crying as you make love to each other, arms wrapped tightly around the other and moans mixing together. He makes sure to set the mood before hand or to at least say something suave or sexy beforehand or to at least say something suave or sexy before you two get started so that you’re set in some type of mood to make sex more enjoyable. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t do it often but when he does, he likes to take his time and dirty talk to himself. He loves dirty talk in general, but doing it when he is pleasing himself is so sexy to him, especially if he is watching something (usually a video you have sent him previously). He’ll both encourage himself and the person he is watching to touch themselves, stroking his cock slowly but in such a firm grip. He’ll edge himself until he can’t take it anymore, ruining his orgasm by cumming too soon, making a mess of his hand and lower stomach. He always makes sure to send you a picture of video of the aftermath.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Phone sex

Recording

Spanking

Dirty talk

Light BDSM

Roleplay

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He likes to mainly keep things in the bedroom, but if the mood strikes him, he’ll be down to doing it somewhere semi-public like at the school or maybe in the common room or in a restaurant bathroom. While he does love the thrill of possibly being caught, he always makes sure that you both won’t be, usually taking you in semi-public places when he knows people won’t be around for a while.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Having you yell at him is a good way to get him motivated. He loves it when you raise your voice at him and put him in his place. It turns him on in more ways than he can describe. He can only imagine how frustrating it is for you to have him be so turned on by your anger and yelling but he just can’t help himself. You look so sexy when you’re mad and all he wants to do is pin you to a wall and fuck you so that you’re screaming in name in pleasure instead of anger.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Pulling his hair. There is nothing Monoma hates more than having his hair pulled. His scalp is pretty sensitive and it hurts pretty bad to comb his hair let alone brush it. If you pull his hair during sex, chances are he is going to get pissed off and want to stop to soothe his scalp.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

While he does take me as someone who would be more of a giver, I just don’t think that would be right and I don’t want to do my Baby Daddy wrong. He is all about having you on your knees, mouth around his cock and sucking away at it like your life depends on it. He loves how submissive it makes you look and how you are doing this only for his benefit and pleasure. However, he isn’t half bad when it comes to giving you head and is pretty generous when doing so. He makes sure to eat you out if he ended things too quickly for himself or as a reward for you being such a good girl.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes to take his time when it comes to sex, but the twist to this is that he can either take his time being rough with you or by being loving and gentle with you. Either way, you’re going to have a pretty good time because both feel amazing.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He is up for quickies every once in awhile but not too often. He’d much rather have a pretty long time to admire and love you down fully. He could go for a quickie maybe 3-4 times a month and nothing more than that.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He loves taking risks. Trying out new things during sex and testing boundaries and getting thrills is all part of the experiencing and he finds it to be a great bonding activity when it comes to sex. Anything you have in mind, he will be down for trying and he hopes that the same goes for him in regards to you.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He has an average amount of stamina for a teen boy. He can go for about two rounds and lasts 15-20 minutes tops. He likes to draw things out and build you up to a point in which you are practically begging him to fuck you before he finally gives you what you want.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You bet your ass he has toys. He has two dildos, one for him and one for you both to share, and a vibrator. He likes being able to use them on you and vice versa since they make things more exciting between you both in the bedroom. It sexy seeing you pleasure yourself with one of his toys as he jerks himself off. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is a major tease. If there is an opportunity to tease you, you can bet that Monoma is going to take it. He loves having you beg and whine for him, turning you into this needy, desperate mess of a person just for him. It turns him on seeing you so desperate for his touch, for his body, and simply just for him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He doesn’t get all that loud but the sounds he makes are pretty sexy. They’re usually deep low moans that start in his chest and seem to echo when they reach his mouth, followed by a soft whisper of your name.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Doesn’t like his after sex bed hair. He can’ manage it the day after because it sticks up in all sorts of different places and it’s so stiff due to all the dried sweat in it. Everyone can always tell when he has had sex because of it and it’s more annoying to him than embarrassing.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Such a pretty cock this boy has. Now, it isn’t the longest or widest, but damn is it fucking pretty. When fully erect it stands at 4.8 inches and it has pretty average girth to it. The tip of his cock is always flushed a soft pink color both when it it hard and soft, and the color only seems to seep lower and lower to the base of his cock the longer he has been aroused for. It’s all smooth and even skin tones and his veins aren’t all that noticeable. It curves upwards slightly as well.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a pretty average sex drive, usually ready to have sex about 2-4 times a week during the beginning stages of your relationship, but as you two continue to date, it might increase to 3-5 times a week.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t fall asleep until after you two have had some mild yet sweet pillow talk. He likes to talk to you after sex as he caresses your body, asking you how everything was and if you are okay. When you’re conversation comes to an end, that’s when he’ll go to sleep, letting you know just in case you decide to stay up longer than he does.

Wanna see some other shit I’ve written?

[someonefromseoul]

Fuck Me.

Hello. I don’t know who or what I’m directing this to but I’ll just pretend there’s someone actually reading this. Temptation is a strong fundamental desire that doesn’t always have our best interest. Like that time you look in the mirror wishing you haven't had that donut for lunch, or that other time when you turn and toss, only to find yourself not being able to sleep at 4am from the nap you had earlier that day.

I feel like shit right now. I had oily ass bacon for breakfast, cup noodles for brunch, pepperoni pizza for lunch, ice cream cone for dessert, almond soy bean milk as my “work drink”, only to transition my day into a nap.

I feel bloated as fuck and my pimples are having the time of their lives, meeting new friends and such. 

So this only leads me to my usual routine of self hatred and disgust for a solid hour, drotting down what the rest of my day will look like just to fool myself to thinking I’m productive, and get on Tumblr to waste more time complaining about my day!

Okay, but here’s the deal. I really do want to get better again. I stopped working out ever since my gym closed down from that fucking coronavirus (yes, I am that spoiled and self centered only to be complaining about my gym closing during this time of crisis) which has been a couple of months now. 

I had diet fillers on my chin area to get rid of my chin fat right before the quarantine. That was a fucking waste of money since my double chin is back.

Anyway, my point is that I want to be somewhat sane again. My mind is literally going crazy over being stuck at home and I clearly don’t love my body enough judging by how I’ve been treating it. 

I put a face mask earlier today. That’s a change. I’m going to work out starting NOW. In like a few hours. And I’m going to document the progress and process because I want to see the change and actually hold myself accountable if I don’t go through with this. 

So this is the plan.

1. I am 51.8kg (114.2 pounds) right now. My goal weight is 48kg (105 pounds). Okay, so basically my goal is to lose around 10 pounds.

2. I just started an art instagram. Try to post three times a week. I want to have 10 followers by the end of May. And NOT by asking my limited amount of friends to follow. I want to connect with real strangers who are really there for my art.

3. My fucked up skin. Let’s try to clear that out as soon as possible as well. I know I have oily skin and a huge part of that comes down to what I consume. Let’s fucking please stay away from oily and salty food. Drinks permitted is only water, tea, and sometimes alcohol. 

4. Speaking of alcohol, try to stay away from that. Which I’m doing a good job of these days because I’m “social distancing” (no friends). I’m going out tomorrow though but let’s really try to keep it like max 3 drinking nights per month. MAX. preferably once to none.

5. You can never single out alcohol when you’re a smoker. Hi, hello, I’m a smoker. I’ll write a post going more in depth about my smoking journey. Long story short, I’ve been smoking since August of 2013. So like 7 years already. I genuinely don’t know why I started it. Actually that’s a lie, I got into it because I thought it looked cool and I wanted to fit in. Sad, sad weakling I was. Anyway, I’m going to QUIT. I literally say this like merry Christmas to the point my friends just roll their eyes at me whenever I say this. Like, let’s really try to make this a reality instead of this having to be that time I cried wolf again. LIKE PLEASE. For yourself, man. You know you’re getting old and it’s not like you have any more health to spare.

6. Work on my art project. You know which one I mean. I want to keep it on the down low. To roughly plan, I want to work on my portfolio around June July and August. but by June, let’s focus on instagram, enhancing my drawing skills from proko, and this personal art project I’m not going to specifically go into because it’s confidential. Let’s call it Arty. So yeah, finish Arty.

7. My relationships. Mind you, I’ve never seen a therapist because I’m not financially independent and it’s a taboo subject to bring up in Asian culture. At least with my family. So no, I haven’t been professionally diagnosed, but who needs a doctor when we have google, right? So to preface, this is not a legitimate claim I’m making. But I strongly think and believe that I have anxiety; especially social anxiety and an avoidant personality disorder. I definitely deal with SOMETHING-I do plan on going to a therapist the moment I get the chance to, which is hopefully, soon. Anyway, getting back on topic. I want to work on my relationships with my friends and family because I’ve literally been in my shell for the past couple of months. Avoiding people at all costs. Not healthy at all.

8. My mental health. Probably the most important one. If this was a meat house and I could grade my health, I would give it a B+. Definitely not a S, not exactly an A either-but on the fence between A and B. Not quite A- but more of a B+. I don't have any serious health issues but I’m not great either. I feel slightly uncomfortable when breathing, my mind is foggy, and I think I might have hemorrhoids soon. Literally keeps me up at night because it frightens me-I constantly flex my butthole just in case things might peep out (sorry for the TMI but this is my fucking blog so deal) (me still pretending like someone’s actually still reading this shit post) I lose sleep over it, don’t even get me started. Anyway, if my body health is a B+, my mental health is probably around a B-. I don’t think it’s around the C level, but it’s definitely below average (average being a B). It’s at the verge of either becoming average or enter into the C level. A or S is obviously out of reach with my potential right now. But I want to get to an A; possibly to a S some day. Some day. A girl can dream. Anyway, how I want to go about this is to keep writing on this blog. Because I have a fake ass personality, I literally hide my real self to everybody. Kinda psycho like that. At least this little spot can be my safe space where I can get all my genuine shit out. To be serious for 2 seconds, I think I’m fake to people these days because I don’t feel comfortable being completely myself. My self esteem really plummeted after I graduated high school. I’ve been shushing myself internally too-shaming myself about how stupid and weird I sound. I’ve been trying to press down all my negative judgements and thoughts because I didn't want to spread that kind of energy to other people which made me be fake positive all the time. That can be really fucking suffocating, guys. Those of you who know what I mean say I. 

Anyway, I want to find my color again. I think I’ve been shushing and shaming myself for so long, I don't even know who I am anymore. Hopefully writing like this helps. And apparently physically working out does as well. Let’s try to aim everyday, maybe a lazy day per week.

Side note-Kakaotalk keeps spamming me about the sakura flowers and how beautiful it is, suggesting me to go see it. Um, hello. Can you stop harassing me with these insensitive messages? Some people don’t have friends to go with. And it’s quarantine season? Are you dumb?

9. My looks. which goes under self care as well. I’m not gonna lie, I think I’m a fairly okay looking girl. I’m going to change my makeup style because after not putting on makeup for so long and looking back at my old photos, I’ve seen my bare face for so long, I grew fresh pair of eyes to see how I REALLY looked prior to this quarantine. And I finally got what people meant by “your makeup looks obnoxious.” Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE makeup. I’ve loved makeup ever since I was a sophomore in high school. I follow many of the beauty gurus (how they used to call it back in the days. I think people call them beauty influencers or makeup artists now) from youtube and Sephora was my second home. My broke ass owns like majority of the urban decay naked palettes in exchange for eating kimchi and eggs for weeks with my poor college student self in exchange. Poor college student with a BEAT makeup look though.

Anyway, the point I want to get across is that I respect and love ANY form of self expression. There is no such thing as too much or too less (is that even a word) makeup as long as YOU feel good in it. I personally did and I enjoyed my extra caked face. But not anymore. Maybe on some occasions, but I just don’t feel like that’s me anymore. So I need a new make up look, and I literally want new clothes. I hate my freaking outfits. Going to invest in some soon.

I can’t really think of anything else. I want to go in further with some of the topics I’ve tackled today but I think that’s enough journal writing for today. If I think of anything else, I can always update later. I just fucking pray I don't get hemorrhoids. I don’t have it now but I’m just so paranoid because I literally sit down 25/8 and apparently sitting for an extended period of time continuously can cause hemorrhoids. And for some reason I keep feeling like I’m going to get it soon. Like my butthole low-key feels a little weird at times. Hopefully I’m okay.

[shysweetthing]

I love your financial posts. I am curious what your opinion is on items other than clothes and cars, as far as how much to spend? Like food, kitchen/household supplies, technology, furniture, so on? Like I got that brand names/aesthetics are pretty low priority for you compared to longevity/maintenance, but like, where do you draw the line and for what sort of things? What if it's something that needs time rather than cash to fix, for example a knife that dulls easily?

These are huge categories of things, and there is no real rule for “how much to spend” because it depends on who you are, what you need, how much money you have, and what you’re trying to accomplish.

If you have not surmised from my fics containing thousand word recipes and various posts on eggs and cooking with dashi, and perhaps the first chapter of the fic I just posted which lovingly detailing a perfectly coursed breakfast menu, I really, really like food. And cooking. And food.

I have strong feelings about kitchen equipment and food, PARTICULARLY knives. (I have strong feelings about most things, but particularly strong feelings about food-related things). I also have an unusual amount of kitchen gadgetry–if you read my onsen katsudon post, you’ll realize that I have an immersion circulator, for instance. So I obviously am not going to preach extreme sparsity in the kitchen.

So…massive post about kitchen gadgets and food below the jump.

Random thoughts on kitchen gadgets!

Unless you’re a chef, you don’t need a knife set; you need ONE EXTREMELY GOOD CHEF’S KNIFE. 70% of the knives in any given knife block don’t get used, and 20% only get used because the one knife you do use isn’t clean. Don’t put it in the dishwasher. Don’t let it jostle around in the random crap drawer and get the edge jostled. Hone it on a regular basis. You need to get your knife sharpened when it gets dull (every year or so), and this costs like maybe $7-12. This is the holy grail of knives, but this will do.

It is worth it to pay money for a good knife. Good knives make cooking easier by about eleventy billion percent. Good knives also mean you use less pressure while cooking, which means you’re less likely to cut yourself and have to go to the ER for stitches–an outcome that would probably swamp any savings you might have on the actual knife itself.

It is also worth it to watch some basic YouTube videos on knife skills for that same reason. (As a general rule, buy kitchen equipment at your skill level, not above it.)

By contrast, there is a lot of kitchen equipment that quite a few people actually really don’t need–food processors and stand mixers come to mind. Yes, many people use some of these things some of the time, and some people use some of these things all the time. But if you would only ever use your fancy KitchenAid stand mixer to make whipped cream twice a year, I have a horrifying suggestion for you: get a wire whisk and whip your cream by hand. It really doesn’t take as long as you think it will.

Likewise, food processors–I guess some people use these all the time? But many people get food processors because they should have them, and rarely use them, if ever, because it turns out that while they may chop things faster they’re a lot harder to clean than a knife, and if you have a good knife and decent knife skills, unless you’re cooking for a bloody army, you don’t need it and aren’t going to use it. At the fast and small end, you can use them for home-making pesto, which is definitely useful, but if you have a good blender you can do it there, too.

Here’s my set of kitchen gadgets that I use on a semi-regular basis: blender, rice cooker, waffle iron, immersion circulator. Some people will ditch the immersion circulator in favor of a slow cooker; most rice cookers double as slow cookers. I also have a travel rice cooker that I bring on business trips.

I started with really super-basic versions of all of these things, and then, as those super-basic versions gave up the ghost, replaced them one-by-one, first with really decent medium-quality versions of themselves, and then, as those lasted longer, with the holy grail versions. 

Random thoughts about food

Food spending is something I have only recently started to get a handle on, in large part because food is such a deep and emotional subject. I’m still not all the way there, but I’ve learned a lot in the last couple of years, and maybe the things I have learned will be helpful to others.

I’m going to beg your pardon for going into emotional things that may not seem relevant here, but I for me–and possibly for others, which is why I’m detailing it here–spending the right amount of money on food has been very closely related to my emotional relationship with food.

Food is very important. Money is a consideration in purchasing food, but it is not the only consideration. Food is the source of health. You need to be eating a properly balanced diet. If you aren’t, you’ll get tired more easily. You’ll feel sick. You’ll be more prone to developing certain diseases. These things are costly, and you need to take them into consideration.

Food is also (very often) a social activity. It is a time for families and friends to get together and talk about their day. It is (for me) an expression of love–something I can do for the people I care about that shows my caring, because I absolutely hate having to express myself verbally on these kinds of points. One of the ways that I personally say “I care about you” is to spend seventeen hours perfecting a recipe just so I can make something that is utterly delicious. This is particularly true for some members of my family with food sensitivities/dietary restrictions–being able to make delicious things that they would never imagine they could eat just see the look on their face makes me really, really happy.

Food is an emotional activity. Tastes can tap into memories. They can bring up nostalgia. They can bring up bad memories. Eating can be comfort; it can also be a way to hurt yourself.

What you put into yourself is very, very important–it should taste good, nourish you, and feed your soul. I just really, really believe in food, okay?

But. Our society sends us so many bullshit messages about food and our relationship with it. People get told that they can’t eat fats, or carbs, or this kind of meat, or soy protein, and if you eat too much you’re doing it wrong and if you eat too little you’re doing it wrong, and if you spend too much on food you’re an avocado-toast devouring wastrel who will never own a home, and if you spend too little on food you deserve the health disaster that is inevitably coming your way.

Over the course of my life, society and an array of health/diet-oriented books told me that my body was my enemy and the only way to transcend it was to ignore what it was telling me–to ignore hunger, to ignore cravings, to ignore the emotional response food brings in me, to treat these things as pariah, and to see myself as a weak, bad person because I hunger, crave, and respond emotionally.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve started working specifically with a food therapist, and I’ve started to unravel some of this. It has been a deeply emotional process.

And so let me say, with all the love I have in me, FUCK THIS SHIT. My body is not the enemy. Food is not the enemy. And yes, this is relevant to spending–learning to love myself and my relationship with food instead of hate it has helped me save money.

You’ll see why in a little bit.

A couple of years ago, I sat down to figure out how to spend less on food. At the time, I was spending an absolutely ridiculous amount on food–something like $125/week per person. (I’m going to use this as the measure of food–$$/week/person–because it’s most generalizable across the board. I think the national average is something like $50/week/person.) While this wasn’t breaking my budget, I have depressive episodes that really dampen my productivity and earning capacity, and I knew I was due for one, and *cough* I figured it would behoove me to tighten the budget where I could as much as possible.

That meant I had to figure out my pain points in food. At first blush, my thought was–I shouldn’t spend much less money than this, this is the kind of food I should be eating. I was buying lots of vegetables–organic, for the ones where it makes a big different. I bought organic meat, because it’s not laden with antibiotics. Et cetera.

Then I noticed a second thing: I was throwing out a lot of food.

Sure, I was making use of some of it. But I didn’t want to spend time cooking every day, and so I didn’t. Worse, I was purchasing the food I thought I should eat, and not the food I wanted to eat–meaning that my motivation to actually sit down and prepare the food I thought I should eat was weak, and so instead of making the planned uninspiring meal for the day, I would tell myself, “oh, I’ll make that for tomorrow” and then I’d get pizza.

In other words, I was lying to myself about what I actually wanted to eat, because I felt I should eat a certain way. Because I was lying to myself, I was spending money buying food that I was only ever going to hypothetically eat. Spending money for something that is going to get tossed is not a good financial decision. Because I couldn’t admit that I was lying to myself and didn’t want to eat the food I was purchasing, I was eating out more, which is both expensive and rather less healthy than just being fucking honest in the first place.

One additional thing that is specific to me, but that other people share, is this–even if I picked food I liked, and wanted to make, and usually would make, if I was having a really bad week depression-wise, I would not be arsed to take the 45 minutes to prepare it because depression sucks. This meant I was buying food while depressed that there was no chance in hell I would make.

In other words, the fundamental reason I was spending so much money on food is that I was buying food for a different person than I was. To fix the problem, I had to figure out who I was, and how to buy food for me and not this hypothetical always-health-conscious, never-makes-a-mistake, always-cooks-every-meal person I was pretending to be.

It’s taken me about eighteen months to get to the point where I have a food strategy that works for me. Here’s what I’ve come to as my guiding principles.

1. I deserve to eat food I want to eat.2. I deserve to eat well-balanced meals with a variety of foods.3. While I occasionally like going all out on cooking, I mostly want to spend about ten minutes on dinner prep because nobody has time for that shit on a regular basis.

My strategy has basically three components for me, but it will vary for everyone because what you like to eat is…up to you.

Component One: Protein.

I like eating meat. I particularly like fatty meats–chicken thighs over breasts, what have you. But I don’t need to, or even want to, eat a lot of it.

Solution: What I do is prepare meats in large quantity, and then portion them out into three to four ounce per person servings, and then freeze these. Thus, for instance, I’ll braise an entire lamb leg very slowly, and then weigh it into meal-sized bags. Or I’ll make a giant pot of butter chicken. Or turn a butt-roast into carnitas. Or cut up chicken thighs into pieces, and put three ounces per person into bags and freeze them. Or I’ll simmer several pounds of pork belly into chashu pork (https://www.justonecookbook.com/homemade-chashu/) and then set it aside in two ounce servings for person–two ounces because it is SO fatty that the satiety from a few ounces goes a very long way.

The night before, I take whatever it is I’m going to be making and move it from the freezer to the fridge.

Then for dinner, I microwave it. Or, in the case of the chicken thighs, turn on the oven broiler, skewer the chicken pieces, and make yakitori (recipe here: https://www.justonecookbook.com/yakitori/). Or, toss it into ramen broth. Or sometimes I’ll just scramble a bunch of eggs because eggs are delicious.

Things that go in the freezer are things that take 2-10 minutes of prep, max.

Three ounces is enough to satisfy me; two minutes is enough time that I don’t have to think about it.

At this point, I have a Costco membership, which means I can buy organic meat in bulk. That helps lower the price on things substantially.

Component Two: Fruits and vegetables.

I also like eating fruits and vegetables. That being said, I like variety, and unless you’re feeding an army, it takes freaking forever to get through the general amount of vegetables you can purchase from the store.

Solution: What I do is pick 3-4 vegetable side dishes every week. The rules are that the side dishes must vary in color and preparation method, and that I have to want to eat them.

So, for instance, this week my side dishes are: Quick salt-pickled cucumbers (these are pickled, and they’re green). Seasoned soy bean sprouts (these are blanched/boiled, and they’re white and yellow). Stir-fried eggplant (Using this recipe, http://www.koreanbapsang.com/2011/09/gaji-bokkeum-stir-fried-eggplants.html; these are purple). And a tomato salad seasoned with olive oil and red yuzu kosho (these are red and raw).

I also get fruits of different colors, too. The rules are the same–I have to get things I like. This week I have navel oranges and these utterly delicious peony grapes that make me want to break down and weep every time I eat them. It’s usually ¼ of an orange per person + about ½ handful of grapes at the end of each meal.

Component Three: Rice.

Look, I’m Asian, and yes, it’s stereotypical, but steamed rice is delicious and people have been eating it forever around the world, and plus, if you have a programmable rice cooker you can set it up way ahead of time and boom, rice is ready right at dinner time.

Here’s how a typical week works.

I do most of the work on Saturday.

On Saturday, I assess the state of my freezer. Do I need to add anything to my store of meals? If so, I’ll put that first on my list for the week. Sometimes I won’t need to add anything. I’ll round everything else out on the basis of what I have in there. My projected meals will look something like this: lamb / eggs / carnitas / pork belly ramen / yakitori / butter chicken / mapo tofu

I’ll also figure out my vegetable side dishes, and list all the ingredients needed to make them.

I go shopping. I come home. If I need to make something to add to the freezer, I make it. While I’m doing that, I also make my three to four vegetable side dishes and set them in the freezer. (I also make miso soup and some extra dashi; here’s why I make dashi.)

The assessment, planning, shopping, cooking, and parceling out the food I’ve just made takes me around 3-4 hours.

Thereafter, the production of dinner on every day other than Saturday looks like this:

Put whatever protein I have in the microwave/under the broiler/etc.Put rice in a bowl.Add small bits of vegetable side dishes to the bowl on top of the rice, taking up approximately 2/3rds of surface area.Put now finished protein on top of rice. Put on table.Microwave miso soup. Add seaweed to it. Plonk on table.Wash/cut fruit; put on plate.Take things for tomorrow’s dinner out of freezer and put it in fridge.

Dinner now takes approximately 3 minutes of morning prep to set up the rice, and 2-10 minutes to assemble. It consists of some kind of protein, rice, tons of vegetables, miso soup, and fruit.

There is a crapload of variety. It’s delicious. It’s nutritious. I don’t have so much of any one vegetable on my plate at any one time that I get tired of it, and I rotate weekly.

I have other things I do for variety’s sake–for instance, I made a huge quantity of this (https://www.justonecookbook.com/vegetarian-ramen/) up until just before the point where you add the soy milk, and then froze this in tiny packets as ramen base. Now if I want incredibly fucking delicious ramen, all I need to do is take my bag of ramen base out of the fridge, add soy milk and dashi, boil frozen ramen, add pork belly and a bunch of vegetables, and boom. FUCKING DELICIOUS RAMEN.

I’ll also sometimes make katsudon, because katsudon. And so forth.

In terms of cost, because I’m using the vegetables I buy for all the meals, I’m not buying a cabbage and throwing about ¾ of it because damn it is hard to eat an entire cabbage. (I grew up in a family of nine, and it was not hard for us to eat an entire cabbage then, but I am not currently in a family of nine.) Because I’m buying organic meat in bulk, I’m paying as little as possible for it, and because I’m freezing it until just before I use it, I’m not wasting it.

At this point, I probably only have to make a replacement for something in the fridge approximately once every 2 weeks. I’m eating better than I’ve ever eaten before. I’m eating out much less. On those weeks when I’m struggling with depression/have heavier workloads than most, I don’t even bother to try and replenish the freezer stuff, and I go to the Korean grocery store (I’m lucky enough to have one near me) and instead of making my side dishes, I just grab a handful of their pre-made ones, because my strategy is flexible enough to allow me to be the person I am on a regular basis.

The first few weeks when I started doing this, my costs–because I was putting two sets of things in the freezer every week, and because I had no freezer meals to draw off of–were fairly high, probably like $75/week/person, which is still higher than the national average, but less than I was spending before.

At this point, my costs per week are about $35/week/person. This is more than some people spend, but below the national average, and that’s pretty cool, considering that I’m still eating organic meats, and many organic vegetables.

Your solution to this may not look like my solution to this–your pain points are different, and you are different. But for me, I couldn’t start to get a handle on either my food spending or my eating habits until I started buying food for the person I was, not the person society told me I should be.

I also want to point out–again–that there are several items of privilege in this post that should not be assumed to be universal. First, in order to build up a solid store of freezer-stuffs, to the point where you can sustain a $35/week/person grocery bill, you need to be able to overspend the national average for a couple of months. Second, you have to be able to get yourself to a grocery store that sells organic stuff, and if you live in a food desert, it’s hard enough just finding a store that sells fresh vegetables, period. Third, I have a CostCo membership–I live less than a mile from a CostCo, and this isn’t open to everyone. Fourth, I live very close to multiple Asian grocery stores, and I really couldn’t eat delicious food regularly if I had to scramble to find broad bean paste or miso or the ingredients for dashi, or if I had to buy them from grocery stores that largely cater to white people and overcharge on these items by massive amounts if they even carry them. Fifth, I have a reasonably large freezer that is extremely reliable. Sixth, me and my family members are reasonably open to eating a wide variety of foods and have few food allergies or sensitivities. Seventh, I have one day a week that I can reasonably devote a large chunk of to food preparation.

There are other things, too–those are just the ones that jumped out to me upon immediate inspection. So my typical reminder again–this is what has worked for me. I’m telling you because it might work for you, and if it can help, that’s great. But please don’t lecture people with this post, because there are many ways that this strategy depends heavily on privileged statuses.

[bambamramfan]

Our Bodies, Our Class

Continuing last week’s post, it can seem like the rules of social etiquette for how to appear polite and high class are complicated and ever-changing. In fact, for people trying the low-variance goal of “just get by” most of these rules can be boiled down pretty simply:

Don’t draw attention to yourself.

Don’t draw attention to the existence of your body.

The first is an injunction not to be loud or needy, since after all those show desperation and that what you offer is abundant (and therefore low value.)

The second guideline explains a lot of rules that appear to have independent justification.

Don’t burp, yawn, cough, or make other bodily sounds.

Don’t smell. (Social rules about bad hygiene are usually more about “reminding people your body exists” than actual ill-health.)

Don’t eat in public.

Cover yourself up and some skin unintentionally showing is embarrassing.

Slut-shaming focuses on the display of breasts and legs.

Don’t talk about illnesses or bodily functions.

Don’t scratch an itch.

Have less body (be thin) rather than more (fat.)

Although hair is complicated and highly subject to fashionable changes, on average: more hair -> lower class.

Each of them independently usually get some sort of Miss Manners explanation for why that is considered rude or low-status, but altogether they speak of a deeper fear of the human body. Its very presence is obscene and uncomfortable. The strongest, visceral drives behind both class and ideology are this underlying fear of disease, filth, and corruption. Anything bad is somehow dirty, and anything dirty is somehow bad.

Instead, the upper class ideal is to appear as detached from the worldly body as much as possible. Yoda describes this fantasy in Star Wars: “Luminous beings we are, not this crude matter.”

The positive direction is luminous. The negative direction is crude matter.

Patriarchal ideology sure used this body-based class-shaming as part of its enforcement against women. Promiscuous women are not just denigrated as immoral, but specifically as low-class. They are sluts and whores. Description of them feature lasciviously displayed breasts. They use garish amounts of makeup. And the threat they bring is of icky diseases around your genitals. It’s all designed to trigger our disgust reactions.

When we can identify this vector, we can oppose it. We should be less credible towards body-based-shaming, and understand it as part of defining the class ladder, with people described in bodily terms as “obviously lower down.” It is a fantasy, and even as we understand it better we can also dismiss it.

(As mentioned in “Class is Normative Power”, this sort of fantasy is enormously complicated because by performance it becomes partially true. People with wealth who are concerned about status will then pay a lot of their greater resources to conform with the desired appearance, and they will select other people who also conform to this, so that now upper-class people really do smell different. Though importantly, this is just a trend, and there are always individual exceptions.)

People who denigrate women for how much skin they have showing, or how much hair and where they have it, or whether they follow manners like how to eat and how to dress, we understand are both performing sexism and classism. They are intertwined, and you can’t really take down one boss without the other.

***

This is what’s behind the complaint that so much of current social justice ideology is classist. It’s not just about using a few wrong words about people with less money or education, or even the privilege that most social justice activists seem to not know what life is like for people who didn’t go to four-year selective colleges.

The complaint of classism is about the logic of their ideological judgment. Instead of saying “we will no longer use class and body-shaming to humiliate our out-group” it’s “class is an excellent tool, so long as used against the right groups.”

So we see the same emphasis on the body-presence when describing men. Mockery focuses on their beards, and their odors, and their whole physical existence.

@prudencepaccard described the campaign against “man-spreading” as Kafkaesque. The criticism is that men “take up too much space.” And you can easily imagine that accusation some Russian existential novel “Your crime is taking up space.” Which is not to say it’s meaningless, it’s actually something that once you are aware of, you feel incredibly guilty about. Is your volume or your smell or your skin an affront to someone, has it made you an exile from society?

There is of course polite behavior, regarding making room for other people on your seat or most of the above-class criticisms, but intense focus on your body will lead to paranoia well beyond the polite requirements of society. Drilling into them is a rich vein of power, but it’s exactly the power we must forswear.

[churchyardgrim]

what I’ve got so far for the worldbuilding doc!!! no organization, just stream-of-consciousness stuff and notetaking. it’s good! it’s really good!

“live” spells, spells that mutate and interact with each other in passive ways, but build up changes over time

gotta renew that shit, magic pressed into shape wears out over time and use, it’s got a finite shelf life

travel is a tricky thing; it counts as a liminal space, it’s “slippery” to magic. travel is unstable, by definition travel spells don’t stay put or behave properly, and it seems to be tied to the very act of moving from one place to another. distance kinda matters, the route you take sometimes does (the road often traveled develops its own weird flavor) so teleporting is… problematic

so protecting or bespelling cars or other means of transport is a tricky thing. you can do it if you’re rich enough to hire powerful mages on retainer, but ordinary people’ve gotta make do. it doesn’t usually cause paranoia about commuting to work or going to a friends house, but some people get weird about it, the same way some people get weird about their food touching anyone else’s

fortunately if you’re going fast enough it’s hard for most shit to catch up with you even if you’re not protected by wards; no one’s going to try to precise-aim a spell at you going 60mph on the highway

magic wants to do something, it wants to act, its a very active force. passive magic is usually more dangerous, unknown, kept contained by something. spells that aren’t allowed to do what they’re built to do can backfire in unexpected ways.

no one really knows how many magicians are in the higher levels of world society and government

certainly the government doesn’t officially know, but there’s always conspiracy theories. area 51, the area 51 for magic, etc

spells leave little trace-ghosts when they’re used up or burn out, faint imprints that fade over time but can be used to tell what was done here. that’s about all they’re good for though

magic needs energy to work. magicians and enchanters can install a kind of battery into their spells, a magical fat reserve to fuel it until it’s done what it needed to or it uses the reserve up and burns out. it is very very hard and impractical to get this reserve back after it’s been set, so most average spells have a set lifespan, and the size of the battery is calculated to burn out at a certain time.

more short lived, immediate spells also take a drain on the user; technically anyone has the capacity to do huge flashy world-shaking magic, but the drain would kill them pretty damn fast. any idiot can move a mountain, that’s how idiots end up dead.

being precise and deliberate is harder, especially when affecting the physical world without the structure of a set spell. you can build a circle sigil onto a handkerchief to cause whatever you drape it over to levitate; making objects float without the structure of a spell like that is a lot harder, because you’re building the structure on the fly with your brain.

magic tattoos are A Thing, and very common. spells attached physically to living things with special ink as the medium and binder work a lil bit differently than spells that rely just on their internal workings to stick to someone. tat spells draw on the energy of the wearer, not the caster (who is usually an artist/sorcerer in one, or a two-person team) and can be modified with shutoff switches so they don't accidentally kill the wearer

tat spells are often used for medical purposes, altering the flesh below them; Harker’s HRT is delivered through one such means, though the spell has to be checked and refreshed on the regular by a medimage. the potential for illicit use of these spell tats is something the magic scientists worry about; if you can alter hormones with them, you can use them to deliver recreational drugs on a constant supply, or turn all the water in someone’s body into hydrogen gas

that’s another thing, conservation of matter; you can’t turn one element into another. well you can, but you can only do it by physically ripping atoms apart and putting them back together different, and 1) the strain it would take to do so would instantly kill you, and probably set off a nuke in your general vicinity, and 2) you could only do maybe a handful of atoms at a time, which is the opposite of efficient.

only a few people have tried to do this, and it ended well for none of them. it’s Forbidden Research, which is not normally a thing that happens in the magic world. only things that are completely pointless and pointlessly destructive are Forbidden Research.

energy transference is waaaay easier, temperature is the first thing babby mages learn to regulate. mages would never get cold but doing constant temperature regulation via magic gets draining over time, and for most people it’s just easier to put on a damn sweater. there are a lot of charms to do it for you, but they tend to burn out fast and be kinda disposable.

light is a lil bit trickier but still entry-level; most adult mages of most stripes can make light happen, or dampen existing light. again, you’d think mages would have built-in sunglasses, but again, constantly doing the thing takes its toll and physical sunglasses are just easier.

life is… a difficult thing to alter. obviously there’s medical magicians, but it’s a very exact science and it’s very easy for things to go wrong. magic does weird things to life forces over time.

“soul” isn’t quite the right word, it’s more like momentum? the energy a living thing has that keeps it alive, the inertia of a beating heart and working organs. almost a perpetual motion machine. except that energy’s gotta run dry sometime. most spells won’t literally take years off your life, usually the effect is a lil tiredness like low blood-sugar, or a few days of lethargy after a magical workout. sometimes a very strong bit of spellwork will mimic bad illness and put someone out of commission for a month or three, but most people aren’t that reckless. it’s very much a matter of control; if you can’t control your magic well enough to keep it from killing you, you don’t have a very long life.

there’s very much the attitude of “well yes we could use magic for this, but honestly it’s more trouble than it’s worth so we’re not gonna bother” very practical-minded people.

magic affects living things whether they’re acted upon or not; even being in proximity to magic has its effects over time. so most people are comfortable with minor medical spells, it’s only a few weirdos that freak out over magical radiation effects. most life-mages specialize in humans, because it’s humans that most often need magical medical care. some specialize in plants, but it’s much harder because plants play by different rules. you have to have a knack for it, and a looooot of patience.

magic is also used by nonhuman things; some animals have rudimentary magical defense systems, or hunting methods. some plants use primitive spells to sting or make themselves poisonous. it’s not very sophisticated stuff, but it does the job and that’s all a plant cares about.

undead typically have very shit magical radars. most mages have some means of detecting magic being used around them, and can feel their own spells more keenly, but these senses are still easy to bamboozle and often aren’t more precise than “there’s magic eehhh nearish”

some types of nonhuman that are closer to fae have more refined magical senses, and can sometimes physically see spells in action, instead of just noticing the effects of what they’re doing.

fae themselves are Not To Be Trusted but aren’t exactly Kill On Sight either

very few things are classified as Kill On Sight tbh, and very few magic denominations are geared towards combat

magic militaries are a thing that teenagers dream up and are then quickly squashed because what the fuck johnny, who do you hate so much that you need firebomb spells? no, grounded, none of that here.

How Vampires Work: there’s an old old old Old spellthing that’s somehow still trucking along, and that’s very very tied into the element of blood. it’s transmitted through blood, uses blood as a host, and as a food/energy source. this is vampirism. it “infects” through transfer of blood (significant amounts, when the turnee is at the very edge of death) and unmoors the “soul” from the body and physical world, only to moor it right back in, tying the “soul” to itself and itself to the flesh body it’s inside. this is what keeps vamps “alive” and walking around even though they only exhibit two out of like five life signs. each spellthing inside each vamp is distinct from the others, and uses the individual vamp as a means to feed it; kind of a symbiosis? spellthing keeps vamp alive, vamp feeds spellthing, make a romcom about it? except the spellthing isn't really “alive”, it’s not sentient, it’s just there. it pulls some strings to altar the new vamp’s brain chemistry a wee bit, causes physical changes, and it’s the spellthing itself that’s weak to sunlight and heart-stabbing and all that jazz. burn out the spellthing, the vamp goes with it. there is no cure or treatment. the spellthing needs human blood bc human blood carries traces of “soul” in it, and to compensate for the sheer volume needed, the vamp’s innards are specialized to process with a lot of liquid very fast, so they don’t really get bloated up like ticks very often. it’s a very short digestive tract with lots of room, and it works very very quickly. spellthings do have regional variations and minor mutations, but they’re unexpectedly minor; it seems reluctant to change too much. powers and assets are more variable than weaknesses, vulnerabilities are often the same across groups. vamps really can’t use magic themselves, except what powers their spellthing gives them. no one knows where they came from or who made the first one, and some magical historians are very keen to find out; there’s evidence of vamps or vamp-like creatures going back way further than good ole vlad tepes, so he clearly wasn’t the first.

demons are also A Thing, but pacts are discouraged because they usually blow up explosively and have large fallouts. demons play dirty, you see. sometimes people get possessed without a pact, and that can be by a demon or a particularly strong ghost; results vary.

Harker technically counts as possessed.

[watsonrodriquezie]

Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet?

Question: “Can I eat fruit on a ketogenic diet?”

Answer: “Sure, if you want!”

I’m kidding, of course. I know why people ask this question. It’s because in the keto world fruit is a confusing, often contentious topic. You’ll sometimes see keto folks draw a hard line in the sand, saying that all fruits, or sometimes specific fruits, are “not allowed” on a ketogenic diet. I’ve written before about why I feel it’s inappropriate to label foods as “keto” or “not keto.” People need to consider their own goals, health, activity level, and food preferences when formulating their eating strategies.

Nevertheless, it’s true that it can be hard to figure out how to incorporate fruit into your keto diet. On the one hand, it’s “real” food: unprocessed, “whole,” and full of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and phytonutrients. It’s also Primal/paleo approved in moderation. On the other hand, the carbs in a typical serving of fruit can amount to a considerable chunk out of one’s daily carb allotment, especially for people who adhere to a very strict version of keto that only allows 20 to 30 grams of carbohydrate per day (as opposed to the Keto Reset Diet’s 50 gram per day suggestion).

So where does fruit fit for the average person following a Keto Reset Diet?

Keto People CAN Eat Carbs

Sometimes you’ll hear someone say that keto-ers can’t eat fruit because they “don’t eat carbs.” They really mean that keto folks don’t eat sugar, which is still a gross oversimplification because keto people absolutely do eat carbs. If you’re eating according to the Keto Reset Diet, you’ll start by aiming for 50 grams of carbohydrates per day—perhaps somewhat less if you are dealing with type 2 diabetes or metabolic syndrome—with some wiggle room if most of your carbs come from above-ground veggies and avocados.

From the point of view of the Keto Reset, we want you to choose your carb sources from among those included on the Primal Blueprint Food Pyramid. That means no grains or added sugars, but eating nutrient-dense vegetables and, yes, even some fruit if you wish.

What Fruits Are Best For Keto?

When picking the “best” fruits for keto, it comes down to how many carbs are in a serving. Higher carb fruits are going to be harder to incorporate into a keto diet while still allowing room for the liberal intake of vegetables and avocados encouraged in the Keto Reset.

The information below is taken from the Cronometer database. Make sure you pay attention to the serving size. I selected what seemed like reasonable servings of each by volume instead of weight (who knows what 100g of grapes looks like compared to 100g of watermelon?). I also provided the weight for reference, as well as the fiber content. The Keto Reset Diet does not recommend counting net carbs for fruit though.

Before getting to the data, note that this list omits foods like tomatoes and olives because that’s not what people mean when they ask about fruit.

Let’s also get two items out of the way that always appear on “keto approved fruits” lists:

Avocados: Is there any question about them being keto-friendly? So you know, one whole avocado (136 grams) has 12 grams of carbs (9 grams fiber), as well as 21 grams of fat.

Lemons: Most people aren’t eating lemons but juicing them, right? The juice from one whole lemon has 3 to 4 grams of carb (about 1 gram per tablespoon).

Now for the rest…

Berries:

Blackberries (½ cup, 72 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Raspberries (½ cup, 62 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Blueberries (½ cup, 74 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Strawberries (½ cup halves, 76 grams): 12 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Stone Fruits:

Apricot (each, 35 grams): 4 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Plum (1 medium, 66 grams): 8 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Peach (1 medium, 150 grams): 14 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Nectarine (1 medium, 142 grams): 15 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Melons:

Watermelon (1 cup cubed, 152 grams): 12 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Cantaloupe (1 cup cubed, 160 grams): 13 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Honeydew (1 cup cubed, 191 grams): 17 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Tropical Fruits:

Papaya (1 cup cubed, 144 grams): 16 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pineapple (1 cup cubed, 165 grams): 22 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Banana (1 small, 101 grams): 23 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Coconut meat (½ cup, 163 grams): 25 grams carb (15 grams fiber)

Mango (1 cup sliced, 165 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Other Fruits:

Clementine (each, 74 grams): 9 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Fig (1 medium, 50 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Kiwi (1 each, 69 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Orange (1 small, 96 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Apple, green (1 small, 144 grams): 20 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Grapefruit (1 small, 200 grams): 21 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pear (1 small, 148 grams): 23 grams carb (5 grams fiber)

Apple, red (1 small, 158 grams): 24 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Cherries (1 cup, 154 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Grapes (1 cup, 151 grams): 27 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

You can see why it is difficult to work fruit into a ketogenic diet, and also why blackberries and raspberries are the most often recommended fruit for keto-ers. Nevertheless, it’s possible.

Just for comparison, the 7 grams of carbs you “spend” on ½ cup of blackberries could also be allocated to any of the following:

1 cup of cooked whole Brussels sprouts

1 cup cooked chopped broccoli

2 cups of raw chopped broccoli

1¾ cups raw shredded cabbage

8 medium baby carrots

4 cups of baby spinach

5 cups of raw kale

1 whole small cucumber

1 medium red bell pepper

Tips For Incorporating Fruit Into Your Keto Diet

Select lower-carb fruits and limit portion sizes.

Eat whole fruit, not fruit juices. Whole fruits induce a smaller glycemic and insulin response. Smoothies can quickly become carb bombs, and they are generally less satiating than their ingredients eaten separately because you don’t have to chew them. Include smoothies mindfully.

Consider timing them strategically around the times when you are most insulin sensitive: in the morning and especially after exercise. (This is solid advice for any higher carb food or meal.) Likewise, you might save fruit intake for designated higher carb meals (“carb ups”) if this is part of your routine. However, if you struggle with insulin resistance, any kind of carb ups might not be appropriate for you at this time.

Eat seasonally and locally. This recommendation isn’t unique to keto dieters, but eating seasonally and locally will automatically limit your consumption of fruits for much of the year unless you live someplace warm (in which case, hopefully you’re getting lots of outdoor time and sun exposure year round, too!)

But I Heard I Need to Avoid Fructose For Health?

Fructose is often demonized because it’s thought (incorrectly) that fructose uniquely contributes to de novo lipogenesis. As Mark has written previously, although fructose and glucose are metabolized differently in the body, it is probably splitting hairs to argue that one is more or less healthy than the other when they are considered in the context of one’s entire diet. And while reducing sugar intake has been shown to improve various health markers, this usually means cutting back on high fructose corn syrup and other added sugars, not eliminating a green apple and a serving of berries. If you’re eating a Primal-aligned ketogenic diet and are already limiting your total sugar intake, it’s probably not necessary to specifically avoid fructose that comes in the form of whole fruit.

That said, some of the GI disorders that are so common nowadays might be attributable at least in part to issues of fructose malabsorption. If you have been diagnosed with IBS or otherwise experience chronic GI symptoms, you might consider asking your doctor for a hydrogen breath test to detect fructose malabsorption. You can also try eliminating and then reintroducing fruit to see if it affects your symptoms.

Remember, Constant Ketosis Is Not Required

If you’re avoiding fruit because you’re afraid to get knocked out of ketosis, remember that once you’re keto-adapted it’s unnecessary to stay in ketosis 100% of the time unless you’re using a therapeutic keto diet to treat a serious medical condition. Also, if there’s a fruit you especially want to include in your keto diet, you can also test your individual physiological response to it using a blood ketone meter.

A final word: When considering whether to add more fruit to your keto diet, ask yourself whether you’re still at a point where you would be better off abstaining in order to avoid triggering cravings for sweet foods. This is an n=1 situation. If you feel like some fruit would add to your general enjoyment of your keto way of eating, or you’re looking for ways to incorporate more Primal-approved carbs, go for it. If you’re still struggling to break the sugar habit, perhaps hold off for now, knowing you can always choose to add fruit later.

References:

https://nutritionandmetabolism.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1186/1743-7075-10-45

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10683091

http://diabetes.diabetesjournals.org/content/41/6/750.short

The post Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet? appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

[cristinajourdanqp]

Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet?

Question: “Can I eat fruit on a ketogenic diet?”

Answer: “Sure, if you want!”

I’m kidding, of course. I know why people ask this question. It’s because in the keto world fruit is a confusing, often contentious topic. You’ll sometimes see keto folks draw a hard line in the sand, saying that all fruits, or sometimes specific fruits, are “not allowed” on a ketogenic diet. I’ve written before about why I feel it’s inappropriate to label foods as “keto” or “not keto.” People need to consider their own goals, health, activity level, and food preferences when formulating their eating strategies.

Nevertheless, it’s true that it can be hard to figure out how to incorporate fruit into your keto diet. On the one hand, it’s “real” food: unprocessed, “whole,” and full of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and phytonutrients. It’s also Primal/paleo approved in moderation. On the other hand, the carbs in a typical serving of fruit can amount to a considerable chunk out of one’s daily carb allotment, especially for people who adhere to a very strict version of keto that only allows 20 to 30 grams of carbohydrate per day (as opposed to the Keto Reset Diet’s 50 gram per day suggestion).

So where does fruit fit for the average person following a Keto Reset Diet?

Keto People CAN Eat Carbs

Sometimes you’ll hear someone say that keto-ers can’t eat fruit because they “don’t eat carbs.” They really mean that keto folks don’t eat sugar, which is still a gross oversimplification because keto people absolutely do eat carbs. If you’re eating according to the Keto Reset Diet, you’ll start by aiming for 50 grams of carbohydrates per day—perhaps somewhat less if you are dealing with type 2 diabetes or metabolic syndrome—with some wiggle room if most of your carbs come from above-ground veggies and avocados.

From the point of view of the Keto Reset, we want you to choose your carb sources from among those included on the Primal Blueprint Food Pyramid. That means no grains or added sugars, but eating nutrient-dense vegetables and, yes, even some fruit if you wish.

What Fruits Are Best For Keto?

When picking the “best” fruits for keto, it comes down to how many carbs are in a serving. Higher carb fruits are going to be harder to incorporate into a keto diet while still allowing room for the liberal intake of vegetables and avocados encouraged in the Keto Reset.

The information below is taken from the Cronometer database. Make sure you pay attention to the serving size. I selected what seemed like reasonable servings of each by volume instead of weight (who knows what 100g of grapes looks like compared to 100g of watermelon?). I also provided the weight for reference, as well as the fiber content. The Keto Reset Diet does not recommend counting net carbs for fruit though.

Before getting to the data, note that this list omits foods like tomatoes and olives because that’s not what people mean when they ask about fruit.

Let’s also get two items out of the way that always appear on “keto approved fruits” lists:

Avocados: Is there any question about them being keto-friendly? So you know, one whole avocado (136 grams) has 12 grams of carbs (9 grams fiber), as well as 21 grams of fat.

Lemons: Most people aren’t eating lemons but juicing them, right? The juice from one whole lemon has 3 to 4 grams of carb (about 1 gram per tablespoon).

Now for the rest…

Berries:

Blackberries (½ cup, 72 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Raspberries (½ cup, 62 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Blueberries (½ cup, 74 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Strawberries (½ cup halves, 76 grams): 12 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Stone Fruits:

Apricot (each, 35 grams): 4 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Plum (1 medium, 66 grams): 8 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Peach (1 medium, 150 grams): 14 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Nectarine (1 medium, 142 grams): 15 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Melons:

Watermelon (1 cup cubed, 152 grams): 12 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Cantaloupe (1 cup cubed, 160 grams): 13 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Honeydew (1 cup cubed, 191 grams): 17 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Tropical Fruits:

Papaya (1 cup cubed, 144 grams): 16 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pineapple (1 cup cubed, 165 grams): 22 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Banana (1 small, 101 grams): 23 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Coconut meat (½ cup, 163 grams): 25 grams carb (15 grams fiber)

Mango (1 cup sliced, 165 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Other Fruits:

Clementine (each, 74 grams): 9 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Fig (1 medium, 50 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Kiwi (1 each, 69 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Orange (1 small, 96 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Apple, green (1 small, 144 grams): 20 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Grapefruit (1 small, 200 grams): 21 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pear (1 small, 148 grams): 23 grams carb (5 grams fiber)

Apple, red (1 small, 158 grams): 24 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Cherries (1 cup, 154 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Grapes (1 cup, 151 grams): 27 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

You can see why it is difficult to work fruit into a ketogenic diet, and also why blackberries and raspberries are the most often recommended fruit for keto-ers. Nevertheless, it’s possible.

Just for comparison, the 7 grams of carbs you “spend” on ½ cup of blackberries could also be allocated to any of the following:

1 cup of cooked whole Brussels sprouts

1 cup cooked chopped broccoli

2 cups of raw chopped broccoli

1¾ cups raw shredded cabbage

8 medium baby carrots

4 cups of baby spinach

5 cups of raw kale

1 whole small cucumber

1 medium red bell pepper

Tips For Incorporating Fruit Into Your Keto Diet

Select lower-carb fruits and limit portion sizes.

Eat whole fruit, not fruit juices. Whole fruits induce a smaller glycemic and insulin response. Smoothies can quickly become carb bombs, and they are generally less satiating than their ingredients eaten separately because you don’t have to chew them. Include smoothies mindfully.

Consider timing them strategically around the times when you are most insulin sensitive: in the morning and especially after exercise. (This is solid advice for any higher carb food or meal.) Likewise, you might save fruit intake for designated higher carb meals (“carb ups”) if this is part of your routine. However, if you struggle with insulin resistance, any kind of carb ups might not be appropriate for you at this time.

Eat seasonally and locally. This recommendation isn’t unique to keto dieters, but eating seasonally and locally will automatically limit your consumption of fruits for much of the year unless you live someplace warm (in which case, hopefully you’re getting lots of outdoor time and sun exposure year round, too!)

But I Heard I Need to Avoid Fructose For Health?

Fructose is often demonized because it’s thought (incorrectly) that fructose uniquely contributes to de novo lipogenesis. As Mark has written previously, although fructose and glucose are metabolized differently in the body, it is probably splitting hairs to argue that one is more or less healthy than the other when they are considered in the context of one’s entire diet. And while reducing sugar intake has been shown to improve various health markers, this usually means cutting back on high fructose corn syrup and other added sugars, not eliminating a green apple and a serving of berries. If you’re eating a Primal-aligned ketogenic diet and are already limiting your total sugar intake, it’s probably not necessary to specifically avoid fructose that comes in the form of whole fruit.

That said, some of the GI disorders that are so common nowadays might be attributable at least in part to issues of fructose malabsorption. If you have been diagnosed with IBS or otherwise experience chronic GI symptoms, you might consider asking your doctor for a hydrogen breath test to detect fructose malabsorption. You can also try eliminating and then reintroducing fruit to see if it affects your symptoms.

Remember, Constant Ketosis Is Not Required

If you’re avoiding fruit because you’re afraid to get knocked out of ketosis, remember that once you’re keto-adapted it’s unnecessary to stay in ketosis 100% of the time unless you’re using a therapeutic keto diet to treat a serious medical condition. Also, if there’s a fruit you especially want to include in your keto diet, you can also test your individual physiological response to it using a blood ketone meter.

A final word: When considering whether to add more fruit to your keto diet, ask yourself whether you’re still at a point where you would be better off abstaining in order to avoid triggering cravings for sweet foods. This is an n=1 situation. If you feel like some fruit would add to your general enjoyment of your keto way of eating, or you’re looking for ways to incorporate more Primal-approved carbs, go for it. If you’re still struggling to break the sugar habit, perhaps hold off for now, knowing you can always choose to add fruit later.

References:

https://nutritionandmetabolism.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1186/1743-7075-10-45

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10683091

http://diabetes.diabetesjournals.org/content/41/6/750.short

The post Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet? appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

[fishermariawo]

Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet?

Question: “Can I eat fruit on a ketogenic diet?”

Answer: “Sure, if you want!”

I’m kidding, of course. I know why people ask this question. It’s because in the keto world fruit is a confusing, often contentious topic. You’ll sometimes see keto folks draw a hard line in the sand, saying that all fruits, or sometimes specific fruits, are “not allowed” on a ketogenic diet. I’ve written before about why I feel it’s inappropriate to label foods as “keto” or “not keto.” People need to consider their own goals, health, activity level, and food preferences when formulating their eating strategies.

Nevertheless, it’s true that it can be hard to figure out how to incorporate fruit into your keto diet. On the one hand, it’s “real” food: unprocessed, “whole,” and full of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and phytonutrients. It’s also Primal/paleo approved in moderation. On the other hand, the carbs in a typical serving of fruit can amount to a considerable chunk out of one’s daily carb allotment, especially for people who adhere to a very strict version of keto that only allows 20 to 30 grams of carbohydrate per day (as opposed to the Keto Reset Diet’s 50 gram per day suggestion).

So where does fruit fit for the average person following a Keto Reset Diet?

Keto People CAN Eat Carbs

Sometimes you’ll hear someone say that keto-ers can’t eat fruit because they “don’t eat carbs.” They really mean that keto folks don’t eat sugar, which is still a gross oversimplification because keto people absolutely do eat carbs. If you’re eating according to the Keto Reset Diet, you’ll start by aiming for 50 grams of carbohydrates per day—perhaps somewhat less if you are dealing with type 2 diabetes or metabolic syndrome—with some wiggle room if most of your carbs come from above-ground veggies and avocados.

From the point of view of the Keto Reset, we want you to choose your carb sources from among those included on the Primal Blueprint Food Pyramid. That means no grains or added sugars, but eating nutrient-dense vegetables and, yes, even some fruit if you wish.

What Fruits Are Best For Keto?

When picking the “best” fruits for keto, it comes down to how many carbs are in a serving. Higher carb fruits are going to be harder to incorporate into a keto diet while still allowing room for the liberal intake of vegetables and avocados encouraged in the Keto Reset.

The information below is taken from the Cronometer database. Make sure you pay attention to the serving size. I selected what seemed like reasonable servings of each by volume instead of weight (who knows what 100g of grapes looks like compared to 100g of watermelon?). I also provided the weight for reference, as well as the fiber content. The Keto Reset Diet does not recommend counting net carbs for fruit though.

Before getting to the data, note that this list omits foods like tomatoes and olives because that’s not what people mean when they ask about fruit.

Let’s also get two items out of the way that always appear on “keto approved fruits” lists:

Avocados: Is there any question about them being keto-friendly? So you know, one whole avocado (136 grams) has 12 grams of carbs (9 grams fiber), as well as 21 grams of fat.

Lemons: Most people aren’t eating lemons but juicing them, right? The juice from one whole lemon has 3 to 4 grams of carb (about 1 gram per tablespoon).

Now for the rest…

Berries:

Blackberries (½ cup, 72 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Raspberries (½ cup, 62 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Blueberries (½ cup, 74 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Strawberries (½ cup halves, 76 grams): 12 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Stone Fruits:

Apricot (each, 35 grams): 4 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Plum (1 medium, 66 grams): 8 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Peach (1 medium, 150 grams): 14 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Nectarine (1 medium, 142 grams): 15 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Melons:

Watermelon (1 cup cubed, 152 grams): 12 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Cantaloupe (1 cup cubed, 160 grams): 13 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Honeydew (1 cup cubed, 191 grams): 17 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Tropical Fruits:

Papaya (1 cup cubed, 144 grams): 16 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pineapple (1 cup cubed, 165 grams): 22 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Banana (1 small, 101 grams): 23 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Coconut meat (½ cup, 163 grams): 25 grams carb (15 grams fiber)

Mango (1 cup sliced, 165 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Other Fruits:

Clementine (each, 74 grams): 9 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Fig (1 medium, 50 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Kiwi (1 each, 69 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Orange (1 small, 96 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Apple, green (1 small, 144 grams): 20 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Grapefruit (1 small, 200 grams): 21 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pear (1 small, 148 grams): 23 grams carb (5 grams fiber)

Apple, red (1 small, 158 grams): 24 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Cherries (1 cup, 154 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Grapes (1 cup, 151 grams): 27 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

You can see why it is difficult to work fruit into a ketogenic diet, and also why blackberries and raspberries are the most often recommended fruit for keto-ers. Nevertheless, it’s possible.

Just for comparison, the 7 grams of carbs you “spend” on ½ cup of blackberries could also be allocated to any of the following:

1 cup of cooked whole Brussels sprouts

1 cup cooked chopped broccoli

2 cups of raw chopped broccoli

1¾ cups raw shredded cabbage

8 medium baby carrots

4 cups of baby spinach

5 cups of raw kale

1 whole small cucumber

1 medium red bell pepper

Tips For Incorporating Fruit Into Your Keto Diet

Select lower-carb fruits and limit portion sizes.

Eat whole fruit, not fruit juices. Whole fruits induce a smaller glycemic and insulin response. Smoothies can quickly become carb bombs, and they are generally less satiating than their ingredients eaten separately because you don’t have to chew them. Include smoothies mindfully.

Consider timing them strategically around the times when you are most insulin sensitive: in the morning and especially after exercise. (This is solid advice for any higher carb food or meal.) Likewise, you might save fruit intake for designated higher carb meals (“carb ups”) if this is part of your routine. However, if you struggle with insulin resistance, any kind of carb ups might not be appropriate for you at this time.

Eat seasonally and locally. This recommendation isn’t unique to keto dieters, but eating seasonally and locally will automatically limit your consumption of fruits for much of the year unless you live someplace warm (in which case, hopefully you’re getting lots of outdoor time and sun exposure year round, too!)

But I Heard I Need to Avoid Fructose For Health?

Fructose is often demonized because it’s thought (incorrectly) that fructose uniquely contributes to de novo lipogenesis. As Mark has written previously, although fructose and glucose are metabolized differently in the body, it is probably splitting hairs to argue that one is more or less healthy than the other when they are considered in the context of one’s entire diet. And while reducing sugar intake has been shown to improve various health markers, this usually means cutting back on high fructose corn syrup and other added sugars, not eliminating a green apple and a serving of berries. If you’re eating a Primal-aligned ketogenic diet and are already limiting your total sugar intake, it’s probably not necessary to specifically avoid fructose that comes in the form of whole fruit.

That said, some of the GI disorders that are so common nowadays might be attributable at least in part to issues of fructose malabsorption. If you have been diagnosed with IBS or otherwise experience chronic GI symptoms, you might consider asking your doctor for a hydrogen breath test to detect fructose malabsorption. You can also try eliminating and then reintroducing fruit to see if it affects your symptoms.

Remember, Constant Ketosis Is Not Required

If you’re avoiding fruit because you’re afraid to get knocked out of ketosis, remember that once you’re keto-adapted it’s unnecessary to stay in ketosis 100% of the time unless you’re using a therapeutic keto diet to treat a serious medical condition. Also, if there’s a fruit you especially want to include in your keto diet, you can also test your individual physiological response to it using a blood ketone meter.

A final word: When considering whether to add more fruit to your keto diet, ask yourself whether you’re still at a point where you would be better off abstaining in order to avoid triggering cravings for sweet foods. This is an n=1 situation. If you feel like some fruit would add to your general enjoyment of your keto way of eating, or you’re looking for ways to incorporate more Primal-approved carbs, go for it. If you’re still struggling to break the sugar habit, perhaps hold off for now, knowing you can always choose to add fruit later.

References:

https://nutritionandmetabolism.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1186/1743-7075-10-45

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10683091

http://diabetes.diabetesjournals.org/content/41/6/750.short

The post Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet? appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

[milenasanchezmk]

Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet?

Question: “Can I eat fruit on a ketogenic diet?”

Answer: “Sure, if you want!”

I’m kidding, of course. I know why people ask this question. It’s because in the keto world fruit is a confusing, often contentious topic. You’ll sometimes see keto folks draw a hard line in the sand, saying that all fruits, or sometimes specific fruits, are “not allowed” on a ketogenic diet. I’ve written before about why I feel it’s inappropriate to label foods as “keto” or “not keto.” People need to consider their own goals, health, activity level, and food preferences when formulating their eating strategies.

Nevertheless, it’s true that it can be hard to figure out how to incorporate fruit into your keto diet. On the one hand, it’s “real” food: unprocessed, “whole,” and full of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and phytonutrients. It’s also Primal/paleo approved in moderation. On the other hand, the carbs in a typical serving of fruit can amount to a considerable chunk out of one’s daily carb allotment, especially for people who adhere to a very strict version of keto that only allows 20 to 30 grams of carbohydrate per day (as opposed to the Keto Reset Diet’s 50 gram per day suggestion).

So where does fruit fit for the average person following a Keto Reset Diet?

Keto People CAN Eat Carbs

Sometimes you’ll hear someone say that keto-ers can’t eat fruit because they “don’t eat carbs.” They really mean that keto folks don’t eat sugar, which is still a gross oversimplification because keto people absolutely do eat carbs. If you’re eating according to the Keto Reset Diet, you’ll start by aiming for 50 grams of carbohydrates per day—perhaps somewhat less if you are dealing with type 2 diabetes or metabolic syndrome—with some wiggle room if most of your carbs come from above-ground veggies and avocados.

From the point of view of the Keto Reset, we want you to choose your carb sources from among those included on the Primal Blueprint Food Pyramid. That means no grains or added sugars, but eating nutrient-dense vegetables and, yes, even some fruit if you wish.

What Fruits Are Best For Keto?

When picking the “best” fruits for keto, it comes down to how many carbs are in a serving. Higher carb fruits are going to be harder to incorporate into a keto diet while still allowing room for the liberal intake of vegetables and avocados encouraged in the Keto Reset.

The information below is taken from the Cronometer database. Make sure you pay attention to the serving size. I selected what seemed like reasonable servings of each by volume instead of weight (who knows what 100g of grapes looks like compared to 100g of watermelon?). I also provided the weight for reference, as well as the fiber content. The Keto Reset Diet does not recommend counting net carbs for fruit though.

Before getting to the data, note that this list omits foods like tomatoes and olives because that’s not what people mean when they ask about fruit.

Let’s also get two items out of the way that always appear on “keto approved fruits” lists:

Avocados: Is there any question about them being keto-friendly? So you know, one whole avocado (136 grams) has 12 grams of carbs (9 grams fiber), as well as 21 grams of fat.

Lemons: Most people aren’t eating lemons but juicing them, right? The juice from one whole lemon has 3 to 4 grams of carb (about 1 gram per tablespoon).

Now for the rest…

Berries:

Blackberries (½ cup, 72 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Raspberries (½ cup, 62 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Blueberries (½ cup, 74 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Strawberries (½ cup halves, 76 grams): 12 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Stone Fruits:

Apricot (each, 35 grams): 4 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Plum (1 medium, 66 grams): 8 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Peach (1 medium, 150 grams): 14 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Nectarine (1 medium, 142 grams): 15 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Melons:

Watermelon (1 cup cubed, 152 grams): 12 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Cantaloupe (1 cup cubed, 160 grams): 13 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Honeydew (1 cup cubed, 191 grams): 17 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Tropical Fruits:

Papaya (1 cup cubed, 144 grams): 16 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pineapple (1 cup cubed, 165 grams): 22 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Banana (1 small, 101 grams): 23 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Coconut meat (½ cup, 163 grams): 25 grams carb (15 grams fiber)

Mango (1 cup sliced, 165 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Other Fruits:

Clementine (each, 74 grams): 9 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Fig (1 medium, 50 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Kiwi (1 each, 69 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Orange (1 small, 96 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Apple, green (1 small, 144 grams): 20 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Grapefruit (1 small, 200 grams): 21 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pear (1 small, 148 grams): 23 grams carb (5 grams fiber)

Apple, red (1 small, 158 grams): 24 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Cherries (1 cup, 154 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Grapes (1 cup, 151 grams): 27 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

You can see why it is difficult to work fruit into a ketogenic diet, and also why blackberries and raspberries are the most often recommended fruit for keto-ers. Nevertheless, it’s possible.

Just for comparison, the 7 grams of carbs you “spend” on ½ cup of blackberries could also be allocated to any of the following:

1 cup of cooked whole Brussels sprouts

1 cup cooked chopped broccoli

2 cups of raw chopped broccoli

1¾ cups raw shredded cabbage

8 medium baby carrots

4 cups of baby spinach

5 cups of raw kale

1 whole small cucumber

1 medium red bell pepper

Tips For Incorporating Fruit Into Your Keto Diet

Select lower-carb fruits and limit portion sizes.

Eat whole fruit, not fruit juices. Whole fruits induce a smaller glycemic and insulin response. Smoothies can quickly become carb bombs, and they are generally less satiating than their ingredients eaten separately because you don’t have to chew them. Include smoothies mindfully.

Consider timing them strategically around the times when you are most insulin sensitive: in the morning and especially after exercise. (This is solid advice for any higher carb food or meal.) Likewise, you might save fruit intake for designated higher carb meals (“carb ups”) if this is part of your routine. However, if you struggle with insulin resistance, any kind of carb ups might not be appropriate for you at this time.

Eat seasonally and locally. This recommendation isn’t unique to keto dieters, but eating seasonally and locally will automatically limit your consumption of fruits for much of the year unless you live someplace warm (in which case, hopefully you’re getting lots of outdoor time and sun exposure year round, too!)

But I Heard I Need to Avoid Fructose For Health?

Fructose is often demonized because it’s thought (incorrectly) that fructose uniquely contributes to de novo lipogenesis. As Mark has written previously, although fructose and glucose are metabolized differently in the body, it is probably splitting hairs to argue that one is more or less healthy than the other when they are considered in the context of one’s entire diet. And while reducing sugar intake has been shown to improve various health markers, this usually means cutting back on high fructose corn syrup and other added sugars, not eliminating a green apple and a serving of berries. If you’re eating a Primal-aligned ketogenic diet and are already limiting your total sugar intake, it’s probably not necessary to specifically avoid fructose that comes in the form of whole fruit.

That said, some of the GI disorders that are so common nowadays might be attributable at least in part to issues of fructose malabsorption. If you have been diagnosed with IBS or otherwise experience chronic GI symptoms, you might consider asking your doctor for a hydrogen breath test to detect fructose malabsorption. You can also try eliminating and then reintroducing fruit to see if it affects your symptoms.

Remember, Constant Ketosis Is Not Required

If you’re avoiding fruit because you’re afraid to get knocked out of ketosis, remember that once you’re keto-adapted it’s unnecessary to stay in ketosis 100% of the time unless you’re using a therapeutic keto diet to treat a serious medical condition. Also, if there’s a fruit you especially want to include in your keto diet, you can also test your individual physiological response to it using a blood ketone meter.

A final word: When considering whether to add more fruit to your keto diet, ask yourself whether you’re still at a point where you would be better off abstaining in order to avoid triggering cravings for sweet foods. This is an n=1 situation. If you feel like some fruit would add to your general enjoyment of your keto way of eating, or you’re looking for ways to incorporate more Primal-approved carbs, go for it. If you’re still struggling to break the sugar habit, perhaps hold off for now, knowing you can always choose to add fruit later.

References:

https://nutritionandmetabolism.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1186/1743-7075-10-45

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10683091

http://diabetes.diabetesjournals.org/content/41/6/750.short

The post Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet? appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

[jesseneufeld]

Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet?

Question: “Can I eat fruit on a ketogenic diet?”

Answer: “Sure, if you want!”

I’m kidding, of course. I know why people ask this question. It’s because in the keto world fruit is a confusing, often contentious topic. You’ll sometimes see keto folks draw a hard line in the sand, saying that all fruits, or sometimes specific fruits, are “not allowed” on a ketogenic diet. I’ve written before about why I feel it’s inappropriate to label foods as “keto” or “not keto.” People need to consider their own goals, health, activity level, and food preferences when formulating their eating strategies.

Nevertheless, it’s true that it can be hard to figure out how to incorporate fruit into your keto diet. On the one hand, it’s “real” food: unprocessed, “whole,” and full of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and phytonutrients. It’s also Primal/paleo approved in moderation. On the other hand, the carbs in a typical serving of fruit can amount to a considerable chunk out of one’s daily carb allotment, especially for people who adhere to a very strict version of keto that only allows 20 to 30 grams of carbohydrate per day (as opposed to the Keto Reset Diet’s 50 gram per day suggestion).

So where does fruit fit for the average person following a Keto Reset Diet?

Keto People CAN Eat Carbs

Sometimes you’ll hear someone say that keto-ers can’t eat fruit because they “don’t eat carbs.” They really mean that keto folks don’t eat sugar, which is still a gross oversimplification because keto people absolutely do eat carbs. If you’re eating according to the Keto Reset Diet, you’ll start by aiming for 50 grams of carbohydrates per day—perhaps somewhat less if you are dealing with type 2 diabetes or metabolic syndrome—with some wiggle room if most of your carbs come from above-ground veggies and avocados.

From the point of view of the Keto Reset, we want you to choose your carb sources from among those included on the Primal Blueprint Food Pyramid. That means no grains or added sugars, but eating nutrient-dense vegetables and, yes, even some fruit if you wish.

What Fruits Are Best For Keto?

When picking the “best” fruits for keto, it comes down to how many carbs are in a serving. Higher carb fruits are going to be harder to incorporate into a keto diet while still allowing room for the liberal intake of vegetables and avocados encouraged in the Keto Reset.

The information below is taken from the Cronometer database. Make sure you pay attention to the serving size. I selected what seemed like reasonable servings of each by volume instead of weight (who knows what 100g of grapes looks like compared to 100g of watermelon?). I also provided the weight for reference, as well as the fiber content. The Keto Reset Diet does not recommend counting net carbs for fruit though.

Before getting to the data, note that this list omits foods like tomatoes and olives because that’s not what people mean when they ask about fruit.

Let’s also get two items out of the way that always appear on “keto approved fruits” lists:

Avocados: Is there any question about them being keto-friendly? So you know, one whole avocado (136 grams) has 12 grams of carbs (9 grams fiber), as well as 21 grams of fat.

Lemons: Most people aren’t eating lemons but juicing them, right? The juice from one whole lemon has 3 to 4 grams of carb (about 1 gram per tablespoon).

Now for the rest…

Berries:

Blackberries (½ cup, 72 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Raspberries (½ cup, 62 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Blueberries (½ cup, 74 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Strawberries (½ cup halves, 76 grams): 12 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Stone Fruits:

Apricot (each, 35 grams): 4 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Plum (1 medium, 66 grams): 8 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Peach (1 medium, 150 grams): 14 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Nectarine (1 medium, 142 grams): 15 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Melons:

Watermelon (1 cup cubed, 152 grams): 12 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Cantaloupe (1 cup cubed, 160 grams): 13 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Honeydew (1 cup cubed, 191 grams): 17 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Tropical Fruits:

Papaya (1 cup cubed, 144 grams): 16 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pineapple (1 cup cubed, 165 grams): 22 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Banana (1 small, 101 grams): 23 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Coconut meat (½ cup, 163 grams): 25 grams carb (15 grams fiber)

Mango (1 cup sliced, 165 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Other Fruits:

Clementine (each, 74 grams): 9 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Fig (1 medium, 50 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Kiwi (1 each, 69 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Orange (1 small, 96 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Apple, green (1 small, 144 grams): 20 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Grapefruit (1 small, 200 grams): 21 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pear (1 small, 148 grams): 23 grams carb (5 grams fiber)

Apple, red (1 small, 158 grams): 24 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Cherries (1 cup, 154 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Grapes (1 cup, 151 grams): 27 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

You can see why it is difficult to work fruit into a ketogenic diet, and also why blackberries and raspberries are the most often recommended fruit for keto-ers. Nevertheless, it’s possible.

Just for comparison, the 7 grams of carbs you “spend” on ½ cup of blackberries could also be allocated to any of the following:

1 cup of cooked whole Brussels sprouts

1 cup cooked chopped broccoli

2 cups of raw chopped broccoli

1¾ cups raw shredded cabbage

8 medium baby carrots

4 cups of baby spinach

5 cups of raw kale

1 whole small cucumber

1 medium red bell pepper

Tips For Incorporating Fruit Into Your Keto Diet

Select lower-carb fruits and limit portion sizes.

Eat whole fruit, not fruit juices. Whole fruits induce a smaller glycemic and insulin response. Smoothies can quickly become carb bombs, and they are generally less satiating than their ingredients eaten separately because you don’t have to chew them. Include smoothies mindfully.

Consider timing them strategically around the times when you are most insulin sensitive: in the morning and especially after exercise. (This is solid advice for any higher carb food or meal.) Likewise, you might save fruit intake for designated higher carb meals (“carb ups”) if this is part of your routine. However, if you struggle with insulin resistance, any kind of carb ups might not be appropriate for you at this time.

Eat seasonally and locally. This recommendation isn’t unique to keto dieters, but eating seasonally and locally will automatically limit your consumption of fruits for much of the year unless you live someplace warm (in which case, hopefully you’re getting lots of outdoor time and sun exposure year round, too!)

But I Heard I Need to Avoid Fructose For Health?

Fructose is often demonized because it’s thought (incorrectly) that fructose uniquely contributes to de novo lipogenesis. As Mark has written previously, although fructose and glucose are metabolized differently in the body, it is probably splitting hairs to argue that one is more or less healthy than the other when they are considered in the context of one’s entire diet. And while reducing sugar intake has been shown to improve various health markers, this usually means cutting back on high fructose corn syrup and other added sugars, not eliminating a green apple and a serving of berries. If you’re eating a Primal-aligned ketogenic diet and are already limiting your total sugar intake, it’s probably not necessary to specifically avoid fructose that comes in the form of whole fruit.

That said, some of the GI disorders that are so common nowadays might be attributable at least in part to issues of fructose malabsorption. If you have been diagnosed with IBS or otherwise experience chronic GI symptoms, you might consider asking your doctor for a hydrogen breath test to detect fructose malabsorption. You can also try eliminating and then reintroducing fruit to see if it affects your symptoms.

Remember, Constant Ketosis Is Not Required

If you’re avoiding fruit because you’re afraid to get knocked out of ketosis, remember that once you’re keto-adapted it’s unnecessary to stay in ketosis 100% of the time unless you’re using a therapeutic keto diet to treat a serious medical condition. Also, if there’s a fruit you especially want to include in your keto diet, you can also test your individual physiological response to it using a blood ketone meter.

A final word: When considering whether to add more fruit to your keto diet, ask yourself whether you’re still at a point where you would be better off abstaining in order to avoid triggering cravings for sweet foods. This is an n=1 situation. If you feel like some fruit would add to your general enjoyment of your keto way of eating, or you’re looking for ways to incorporate more Primal-approved carbs, go for it. If you’re still struggling to break the sugar habit, perhaps hold off for now, knowing you can always choose to add fruit later.

(function($) { $("#dflPjiW").load("https://www.marksdailyapple.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php?action=dfads_ajax_load_ads&groups=674&limit=1&orderby=random&order=ASC&container_id=&container_html=none&container_class=&ad_html=div&ad_class=&callback_function=&return_javascript=0&_block_id=dflPjiW" ); })( jQuery );

Want to make fat loss easier? Try the Definitive Guide for Troubleshooting Weight Loss for free here.

window.onload=function(){ga('send', { hitType: 'event', eventCategory: 'Ad Impression', eventAction: '65477' });}

References:

https://nutritionandmetabolism.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1186/1743-7075-10-45

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10683091

http://diabetes.diabetesjournals.org/content/41/6/750.short

The post Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet? appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet? published first on https://drugaddictionsrehab.tumblr.com/

[cynthiamwashington]

Can I Eat Fruit On a Keto Diet?

Question: “Can I eat fruit on a ketogenic diet?”

Answer: “Sure, if you want!”

I’m kidding, of course. I know why people ask this question. It’s because in the keto world fruit is a confusing, often contentious topic. You’ll sometimes see keto folks draw a hard line in the sand, saying that all fruits, or sometimes specific fruits, are “not allowed” on a ketogenic diet. I’ve written before about why I feel it’s inappropriate to label foods as “keto” or “not keto.” People need to consider their own goals, health, activity level, and food preferences when formulating their eating strategies.

Nevertheless, it’s true that it can be hard to figure out how to incorporate fruit into your keto diet. On the one hand, it’s “real” food: unprocessed, “whole,” and full of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and phytonutrients. It’s also Primal/paleo approved in moderation. On the other hand, the carbs in a typical serving of fruit can amount to a considerable chunk out of one’s daily carb allotment, especially for people who adhere to a very strict version of keto that only allows 20 to 30 grams of carbohydrate per day (as opposed to the Keto Reset Diet’s 50 gram per day suggestion).

So where does fruit fit for the average person following a Keto Reset Diet?

Keto People CAN Eat Carbs

Sometimes you’ll hear someone say that keto-ers can’t eat fruit because they “don’t eat carbs.” They really mean that keto folks don’t eat sugar, which is still a gross oversimplification because keto people absolutely do eat carbs. If you’re eating according to the Keto Reset Diet, you’ll start by aiming for 50 grams of carbohydrates per day—perhaps somewhat less if you are dealing with type 2 diabetes or metabolic syndrome—with some wiggle room if most of your carbs come from above-ground veggies and avocados.

From the point of view of the Keto Reset, we want you to choose your carb sources from among those included on the Primal Blueprint Food Pyramid. That means no grains or added sugars, but eating nutrient-dense vegetables and, yes, even some fruit if you wish.

What Fruits Are Best For Keto?

When picking the “best” fruits for keto, it comes down to how many carbs are in a serving. Higher carb fruits are going to be harder to incorporate into a keto diet while still allowing room for the liberal intake of vegetables and avocados encouraged in the Keto Reset.

The information below is taken from the Cronometer database. Make sure you pay attention to the serving size. I selected what seemed like reasonable servings of each by volume instead of weight (who knows what 100g of grapes looks like compared to 100g of watermelon?). I also provided the weight for reference, as well as the fiber content. The Keto Reset Diet does not recommend counting net carbs for fruit though.

Before getting to the data, note that this list omits foods like tomatoes and olives because that’s not what people mean when they ask about fruit.

Let’s also get two items out of the way that always appear on “keto approved fruits” lists:

Avocados: Is there any question about them being keto-friendly? So you know, one whole avocado (136 grams) has 12 grams of carbs (9 grams fiber), as well as 21 grams of fat.

Lemons: Most people aren’t eating lemons but juicing them, right? The juice from one whole lemon has 3 to 4 grams of carb (about 1 gram per tablespoon).

Now for the rest…

Berries:

Blackberries (½ cup, 72 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Raspberries (½ cup, 62 grams): 7 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Blueberries (½ cup, 74 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Strawberries (½ cup halves, 76 grams): 12 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Stone Fruits:

Apricot (each, 35 grams): 4 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Plum (1 medium, 66 grams): 8 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Peach (1 medium, 150 grams): 14 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Nectarine (1 medium, 142 grams): 15 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Melons:

Watermelon (1 cup cubed, 152 grams): 12 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Cantaloupe (1 cup cubed, 160 grams): 13 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Honeydew (1 cup cubed, 191 grams): 17 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Tropical Fruits:

Papaya (1 cup cubed, 144 grams): 16 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pineapple (1 cup cubed, 165 grams): 22 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Banana (1 small, 101 grams): 23 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Coconut meat (½ cup, 163 grams): 25 grams carb (15 grams fiber)

Mango (1 cup sliced, 165 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Other Fruits:

Clementine (each, 74 grams): 9 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

Fig (1 medium, 50 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Kiwi (1 each, 69 grams): 10 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Orange (1 small, 96 grams): 11 grams carb (2 grams fiber)

Apple, green (1 small, 144 grams): 20 grams carb (4 grams fiber)

Grapefruit (1 small, 200 grams): 21 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Pear (1 small, 148 grams): 23 grams carb (5 grams fiber)

Apple, red (1 small, 158 grams): 24 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Cherries (1 cup, 154 grams): 25 grams carb (3 grams fiber)

Grapes (1 cup, 151 grams): 27 grams carb (1 gram fiber)

You can see why it is difficult to work fruit into a ketogenic diet, and also why blackberries and raspberries are the most often recommended fruit for keto-ers. Nevertheless, it’s possible.

Just for comparison, the 7 grams of carbs you “spend” on ½ cup of blackberries could also be allocated to any of the following:

1 cup of cooked whole Brussels sprouts

1 cup cooked chopped broccoli

2 cups of raw chopped broccoli

1¾ cups raw shredded cabbage

8 medium baby carrots

4 cups of baby spinach

5 cups of raw kale

1 whole small cucumber

1 medium red bell pepper

Tips For Incorporating Fruit Into Your Keto Diet

Select lower-carb fruits and limit portion sizes.

Eat whole fruit, not fruit juices. Whole fruits induce a smaller glycemic and insulin response. Smoothies can quickly become carb bombs, and they are generally less satiating than their ingredients eaten separately because you don’t have to chew them. Include smoothies mindfully.

Consider timing them strategically around the times when you are most insulin sensitive: in the morning and especially after exercise. (This is solid advice for any higher carb food or meal.) Likewise, you might save fruit intake for designated higher carb meals (“carb ups”) if this is part of your routine. However, if you struggle with insulin resistance, any kind of carb ups might not be appropriate for you at this time.

Eat seasonally and locally. This recommendation isn’t unique to keto dieters, but eating seasonally and locally will automatically limit your consumption of fruits for much of the year unless you live someplace warm (in which case, hopefully you’re getting lots of outdoor time and sun exposure year round, too!)

But I Heard I Need to Avoid Fructose For Health?

Fructose is often demonized because it’s thought (incorrectly) that fructose uniquely contributes to de novo lipogenesis. As Mark has written previously, although fructose and glucose are metabolized differently in the body, it is probably splitting hairs to argue that one is more or less healthy than the other when they are considered in the context of one’s entire diet. And while reducing sugar intake has been shown to improve various health markers, this usually means cutting back on high fructose corn syrup and other added sugars, not eliminating a green apple and a serving of berries. If you’re eating a Primal-aligned ketogenic diet and are already limiting your total sugar intake, it’s probably not necessary to specifically avoid fructose that comes in the form of whole fruit.

That said, some of the GI disorders that are so common nowadays might be attributable at least in part to issues of fructose malabsorption. If you have been diagnosed with IBS or otherwise experience chronic GI symptoms, you might consider asking your doctor for a hydrogen breath test to detect fructose malabsorption. You can also try eliminating and then reintroducing fruit to see if it affects your symptoms.

Remember, Constant Ketosis Is Not Required

If you’re avoiding fruit because you’re afraid to get knocked out of ketosis, remember that once you’re keto-adapted it’s unnecessary to stay in ketosis 100% of the time unless you’re using a therapeutic keto diet to treat a serious medical condition. Also, if there’s a fruit you especially want to include in your keto diet, you can also test your individual physiological response to it using a blood ketone meter.

A final word: When considering whether to add more fruit to your keto diet, ask yourself whether you’re still at a point where you would be better off abstaining in order to avoid triggering cravings for sweet foods. This is an n=1 situation. If you feel like some fruit would add to your general enjoyment of your keto way of eating, or you’re looking for ways to incorporate more Primal-approved carbs, go for it. If you’re still struggling to break the sugar habit, perhaps hold off for now, knowing you can always choose to add fruit later.

(function($) { $("#dfS4Yu8").load("https://www.marksdailyapple.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php?action=dfads_ajax_load_ads&groups=674&limit=1&orderby=random&order=ASC&container_id=&container_html=none&container_class=&ad_html=div&ad_class=&callback_function=&return_javascript=0&_block_id=dfS4Yu8" ); })( jQuery );

window.onload=function(){ga('send', { hitType: 'event', eventCategory: 'Ad Impression', eventAction: '66337' });}

References:

https://nutritionandmetabolism.biomedcentral.com/track/pdf/10.1186/1743-7075-10-45

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10683091

http://diabetes.diabetesjournals.org/content/41/6/750.short

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[eugenio35t5971-blog]

Used To Get Rich.

The media wants to coat a particular photo of exactly what that means to become wealthy-- huge mansions, expensive autos, high-powered Stock market or tech-startup-type jobs. Financial investments as well as discounts have actually connected with an aspect where our company could now bring in some large improvements in our lifestyles. To earn that crystal clear this is just what I would certainly get in touch with stuff like autos, vehicle parts, TV's, Video gamers etc If you are one of these wealthy males silently experiencing in the room, then that is time to discover a solution. The milk is actually also very rich in blood potassium, necessary body fats, minerals and various other necessary component for appropriate hair development. If you have any questions pertaining to where and how you can utilize mountains in scotland skiing (saludesme.es), you can contact us at the web page. 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That is actually why the only method to end up being definitely abundant monetarily as well as truly rich personally-in other terms truly, truly rich-is to begin your very own company. Once you have found out that your product is valuable, you will certainly need to employ or help make somebody to earn a prototype. This psychological despair starts along with the mid training class - a production from the previous century - as well as for those people elevated in the collection bestriding minority abundant and bulk inadequate, our company are very likely to be either the initial or even 2nd generation to be drawing in big dollars. When you increase your own crops in your home you are performing that usually natural which causes rich taste and also tasty dishes after!. 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I prize the consistency from employment income, though I'm perfectly ware from because you never acquire abundant working with somebody else I managed a provider on the side for a number of years, however that was actually hindered by volume of time I had, and I am only unable the feast-and-famine profit from the self-employed. Could you make a video about the means our company can deal with limiting opinions as well as change them with encouraging ones. To obtain abundant could symbolize safety and security, a really good heath safety, a really good home, an extraordinary car, to travel around the globe therefore a lot of other things. Prosperous people trigger scarcity." Our politicians do not perform good enough for the poor." My parents were drunks." My little ones slouch." I heard it all. Unlike the 90's when it was actually just called a rich oil reserve of the globe, Dubai, today gains from simply 10% from its own income off oil as well as a very major part from its tourism industry. Always keep going, as many readers do, and also you may conserve closer to 75% from exactly what you make - particularly for those along with above-average incomes. Yet do not obtain also mad at the abundant for claiming this - our experts should not, as a rule, obtain as furious at people for being actually unaware as we should when they are actually being purposefully wicked. Anguilla possesses miles and also kilometers of remarkably clear white colored sand coastlines, possesses surprisingly lavish resorts and is actually a place for the wealthy and renowned. This Money Master plan (our opinions and affiliations around amount of money and also wealth) is actually controlling every selection we make and every action our team absorb our lives in the direction of loan. I really love Donald, and also he would certainly make a terrific president Leading, he tells the truth. Along with heightened unpredictability happens greater volatility, which will create that hard for policymakers, including U.S. Federal Reserve authorities thought about the international expectation, to identify exactly what to carry out next. I have actually additionally joined to your headlines character and also are going to buy from your Abundant Habits book to maintain as a regular endorsement. And they'll be actually pleased, and they'll adore it, and they'll create far more compared to they will've ever before helped make, as well as they'll be actually-- they'll be actually accomplishing this effectively, as well as our company're mosting likely to be actually growing as a country, flourishing. Grains are incredibly nourishing and also produce an excellent breakfast food, yet not any brand or even type creates an excellent option. If you want to create a female sexual climax swiftly and effectively, our team must re-awaken her sexuality. The unsatisfactory were never taught this Rich Habit through their parents, so they don't participate in this offering activity. Be sure that the franchisor provides you a total listing of existing franchisees and also performs not 'cherry selection' the effective ones for you to contact. Consult with as well as visit as many as achievable. Begin investing more and more opportunity on your Wealthy Relationships as well as less on your Destitution Relationships. Such effects may cause improvements in certain carp level of sensitivities that create them change their practices to ensure that when on a regular basis introduced drugs within baits change carp eating practices in your distinct favor. Our quest right into area will definitely not just make us more powerful as well as even more blooming, however will join our team behind huge passions and take all of us closer together. Contributed to because there is actually no previously owned smoke or even pungent scents which make Smokebot feasible to smoke any place most smoking bans are present.

[thepurplealmond]

This is a long post, so I won’t preface it with a lot of superfluous words. As you can see by the source list at the bottom of the page, I’ve searched several lists of foods to avoid, and come up with this list of 40 foods, which includes the “dirty dozen” and a list of 7 oils to avoid. Let me know if I missed something you think should be included.

Fruit Juice-This seemingly innocent food is full of vitamins and minerals right? What could be wrong with that? It is just as bad for you as soda. There are approximately 45 grams of fructose per liter of juice, compared to 50 grams per liter in soda. (1) Remember, fructose is useless in the body and has the same affect on the liver as does alcohol, and can cause fatty liver disease and cirrhosis of the liver.

Agave Nectar – Think of agave nectar as the high fructose corn syrup of the health food industry. It is worse than both high fructose corn syrup (hfcs) and regular sugar. Sugar and HFCS are approximately 50% fructose. Agave nectar, on the other hand is approximately 85% fructose. (9) Avoid this at all costs.

Sports drinks – Unless you’re a college or professional athlete or a marathon runner, you don’t need to drink this stuff.  It was invented to replenish electrolytes in college football players, in other words, very active people who burn LOTS of calories. The average person has no need to drink it. It’s not any healthier than soda or juice. If you’re thirsty, drink water.

Gatorade contains 36 grams of sugar (9 teaspoons)/20 oz container.

Powerade contains 45 grams of sugar (11 teaspoons)/20 oz container.

Farm raised fish – Tilapia and salmon are the biggest culprits, but there are others. Make sure your salmon or any fish is marked “wild caught”. Farm raised salmon will be marked “Atlantic” salmon. Just avoid tilapia all together. I don’t think I’ve ever seen “wild caught” tilapia in the store. Farmed fish contain the following chemicals: (2)

Anti-biotics

pesticides

Chemicasl-dioxin (toxin/pollutant), Dibutyltin (chemical in plastic), Polybrominated Diphenyl (flame retardant), Canthaxanthin (food dye).

Environmental contaminants- large fish farms produce the same amount of excrement as a city of 10,000. (2)

Microwave popcorn – MMMM, hot popcorn fresh from the microwave, only 100 calories…with some added chemicals! The bags are coated with non-stick chemicals linked to cancer. (1)

Factory farm meat (aka-super market meat or corn/grain fed meat) – Cows have developed to eat grass, not grain. They are fed grains instead of grass because it makes them gain weight faster. Grains have a detrimental effect on a  cow’s digestive system. As a result, farmers are forced to give them antibiotics and other medications.   To speed rate of growth even more, the cows are given hormones. Studies indicate that other drugs, such as allergy medication, pain killers and anti-depressants are found in these animals (1). Purchase your beef locally, from a farmer you trust, someone who raised 100% grass fed beef. This type of beef is becoming more common with large grocery chains, as consumers are demanding it more frequently. (4, 1)

Margarine – This substance is made from liquid vegetable oil which is processed and transformed into a solid. This changed the fat in the oil from a poly-unsaturated fat to a trans-fat. Studies have proven that trans-fats have a detrimental effect on the cardiovascular system, resulting in more approximately 50,000 fatal heart attacks/year. (1)  Instead use grass-fed butter/ghee or organic virgin coconut oil. Flax oil and olive oil are wonderful for salad dressing.

Vegetable oil – I consistently discuss the health benefits of whole, unprocessed foods. Vegetable oils DO NOT fall into this category. They are unhealthy, unnatural, highly refined/processeed and filled with inflammatory omege-6 fats. Unfortunately, vegetable oils are still touted by many dietitians as the healthiest oils for your body. These same people, not understanding  health benefits of saturated fats,  preach the old fashioned, out dated notion that saturated fat is bad. Many studies have proven that fat is not the demon it has been made out to be. There are fats to avoid, however, and vegetable oils fall into this category.

Avoid inflammatory oils (even organic versions):

hydrogenated oil/partially-hydrogenated

safflower oil

soy bean oil

corn oil

sunflower oil

canola oil

grape seed oil

Instead eat healthy, whole food or lightly processed sources. make any oil is  “cold pressed”:

organic coconut oil –

grass-fed butter/ghee

organic olive oil –

organic Flaxseed oil

avocados

nuts/seeds

fatty fish

grass-fed meat

Listen as Dr. Mark Hyman discusses why vegetable oils are bad:

Standard table salt (iodized salt) – Yes salt is essential to the human body, just as glucose is. However, just like glucose, there are healthy sources and bad sources. REAL salt, taken directly from the mine is considered a whole food and VERY healthy. It’s jam packed with dozens upon dozens of mineral your body needs.  However, manufacturers got their hands on it, stripped all these wonderful nutrients from it, and destroy it even further by adding drying chemicals to it. Now, since every ounce of nutrient has been stripped from the salt at this point, toxic levels of potassium iodide are added back in, along with dextrose, and anti-caking agents. It’s then bleached white. (YUM!)  (1)

Use pure forms of sea salt/rock salt, such as Celtic or Himalayan Salt

HIMALAYAN SALT

CELTIC SALT

Here Dr. Axe talks about Salt:

Artificial sweeteners/Anything marked “sugar-free” – We have touched on artificial sweeteners in my Ultimate Guide to Nutrients series. These are just plain nasty, they are excitotoxins which destroy brain cells. Anything marked “sugar free” will contain these dangerous chemicals. If you want a zero-calorie sweetener use stevia or monk fruit. Or, better yet, use manuka honey, a real super food.

The dirty dozen– If you can’t afford to eat all organic food, at least eat these 12 foods in organic form. These 12 foods are the fruits and veggies most contaminated with pesticides. (10)

Peaches

Apples

Sweet Bell Peppers

Celery

Nectarines

Strawberries

Cherries

Pears

Grapes (Imported)

Spinach

Lettuce

Potatoes

energy bars/protein bars – Just think of these as another sugar disaster, and more like a candy bar than a health bar. For a side by side comparison, visit Alloy.com.

bottled salad dressing – Bottled salad dress is usually made with soy oil, or other refined oil. They also contain high amounts of sugar. 2 tablespoons of your favorite brand has, on average 6 grams of sugar. Light versions aren’t much better.

processed meat/cheese – These foods aren’t really food at all, but a series of chemicals masquerading  as food. (3)

“American” cheese- a bit of milk fat/solids mixed with whey protein, emulsifiers and food coloring..

Processed “deli” meat- This includes deli meat as well as hot dogs, sausages and bacon. – They contain nitrates, nitrites, chemicals and preservatives. They contain 400 % more sodium and 50% more preservatives than unprocessed red meat.

Soda-both diet and regular – Simply put, they are very unhealthy. They are filled with either sugar or artificial sweeteners, neither of which you need.

Conventional chicken/eggs – Some reports indicate chicken feed contains traces of caffeine, Tylenol, Benadryl, banned antibiotics, and arsenic. (3) Opt for organic pasture raised or free range chicken and eggs.

non-organic corn/soy– Corn and soy are the 2 most genetically modified organisms in the country (USA). They are resistant to herbicides. They are also modified to produce a pesticide, which kills bugs that eat it. (Yuk). So, essentially, when you’re eating GMO corn/soy, you are eating a pesticide. You can still enjoy corn/soy, just choose ORGANIC soy and corn instead (7)

flavored yogurt (even if it says light) – Flavored yogurts are FILLED with sugar. A 6 ounce container of Yoplait contains 27 grams of sugar. You’re better off eating a Krispy Kreme donut which has 10 grams of sugar. The light version of Yoplait isn’t any better, with 14 grams of sugar. Instead, buy plain yogurt and add fruit, and a bit of Manuka honey or stevia for sweetener

energy drinks – They contain the caffeine equivalent of FOUR cokes and 13 teaspoons of sugar (or 52 grams of sugar!) I think that’s enough said! (15)

Swordfish, shark, tilefish, swai, king mackeral – In a word…MERCURY. The larger the fish, the higher the mercury levels. These fish are notoriously high in mercury.

Canned tomatoes (or any canned food) – I am just as guilty as anyone for using canned foods. They are just so convenient. Unfortunately,  the cans are lined with bisphenol-A, or BPA, a synthetic estrogen. Canned tomatoes are especially vulnerable, because the acid draws the chemical into the tomato. If you love the convenience of canned foods, try glass containers or tera pak boxes, such as Pomi.

Sources:

https://draxe.com/health-foods-you-should-never-eat/

https://draxe.com/the-dangers-of-farmed-fish/

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/advice/a37388/foods-you-should-never-eat/

http://www.prevention.com/food/healthy-eating-tips/7-foods-that-should-never-cross-your-lips/slide/3

http://www.eatthis.com/foods-to-stay-young

http://www.eatthis.com/unhealthiest-foods-on-the-planet

https://www.rodalesorganiclife.com/food/food-ingredients-avoid%3Fslide%3D1

http://www.mensfitness.com/nutrition/what-to-eat/25-foods-you-shouldnt-eat

http://www.activebeat.com/diet-nutrition/13-healthy-foods-to-avoid-for-weight-loss/7/

https://authoritynutrition.com/agave-nectar-is-even-worse-than-sugar/

http://www.organic.org/articles/showarticle/article-214

https://www.health.act.gov.au/sites/default/files/Fact%20sheets/Sugar%20Content%20of%20Popular%20Drinks%20-%20Considerations%20for%20Children%20in%20Sport.pdf

http://www.sugarstacks.com/snacks.htm

https://www.krispykreme.com/menu/Doughnuts/Original-Glazed

https://www.greenprophet.com/2012/05/5-reasons-avoid-energy-drinks/

How to eat healthy: 40 Foods No One Should Eat…Ever This is a long post, so I won't preface it with a lot of superfluous words. As you can see by the source list at the bottom of the page, I've searched several lists of foods to avoid, and come up with this list of 40 foods, which includes the "dirty dozen" and a list of 7 oils to avoid.

[sometimesbuzz]

Death be not strange.

So this is a thing I wrote for a media assignment on the horror genre.

Warnings: Horror, gore.

The human fear response fascinates me. The dilated pupils, the body shaking with anticipation, their brain trying to predict what I’ll do next and failing. Once a person is in my sights, they have no chance of survival.

First off, let me tell you the story of Jonathan Taylor, an average man, at best. I first met him when he ordered a flat white from the café I work at. Jonathan was tall, with a bit of fat round the middle, perfect for roasting. He paid more attention to his phone than his surroundings, making him an easy target. Jonathan, stupidly, decided to walk into the alleyway next to the café. And whilst he scrolled through Twitter, I beat him to death with a coffee pot. The one downside of killing people in broad daylight, is trying to get them back to my apartment without raising suspicion. But everybody has tricks up their sleeves, or just good biceps.

Once back at my apartment, Jonathan loses a lot more than just his clothes. Peeling the skin off a body is just as simple as peeling an orange. Except with blood instead of juice and more time consuming. Once skinned and useless appendages are given to my dog, it’s time for the cooking process. Most people like me prefer to eat humans raw, but I’m a sucker for a good long roast in a marinade. The thigh is, in my opinion, the tastiest part of the human body. Slow cooked for three hours and served with a glass of red, is the way to go. A full human body can last me about a week’s worth of meals, before more meat is needed. While I get my fix of human meat, my dog gets to chow down on bones. In all honesty, Jonathan was a disappointment. When I cut into him, I discovered that he had a shoulder replacement and no one wants to eat metal alloys. It’s like picking bones out of a fish dish. It makes the entire dining experience a bit of a hassle. It also increases the clean-up job, which is usually just disposing of clothes. So, Jonathan Taylor, an average man, at best, was an average meal too.

I haven’t been eating people for very long, but in my ten months of cannibalism, I have found that men are a significantly better feed than women. Breasts, although nice to look at, are just a big chunk of fat. No one wants their meals to arrive with a big lump of fat connected to the meat. Don’t even get me started on breasts implants. Large amounts of fat on food is awful, but trust me when I say, that a balloon of silicon turning up on your plate is worse.

I think it’s safe to say that I never intended to kill people and eat them to survive, but some lifestyles you just stumble into. When there is no food, and it looks like there won’t be food anytime soon, the insatiable hunger consumes you. And getting a meal is all a person can think about. The mere thought of food is enough to stop muscles aching. When you’re indescribably hungry, nothing will stop you getting your next meal. It’s an addiction, worse than any drug or adrenaline rush. I’ve gone a week without a meal and my body can’t handle it. You start to shake uncontrollably; my skin gets stretched tautly over my bones and starts to turn grey and ashy. Though the physical changes to my body are awful, the mental changes are worse. You lose all sense of reality, of humanity. You lose your moral codes. You will risk everything to get a single, fleeting bite of fresh warm flesh. Hannibal Lector got cannibalism wrong, there is nothing strangely beautiful about eating human flesh. You do it to survive. In life, everything comes down to an inherent desire to live. You do what you have to, even if it means killing people for food. Some may say that makes me a monster. They’d be right.  

Contrary to popular belief, it is rarely a dark stormy night when I stalk or kill my prey. I like to see the sunlight reflect off their bodies whilst I open them. I want to see every wrinkle, every indent, every stretchmark that my dinner has. Human flesh is beautiful, but what’s underneath is truly exquisite. I learnt more about the human body’s muscles, tendons and inner working by dissecting them, than going to biology class. Speaking of biology class, that is where I happened upon my next meal. Most people despise group assignments at university, and I don’t blame them, but I have found them to be a good source of food. Because, let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to kill someone after completing a group assignment? For the record, I try to kill the person who does the least amount of work. Geoff never turned up to meetings and my group was half convinced he didn’t actually exist. We were shocked when he walked into the classroom for the presentation, I decided that he was my next meal.

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is watching you, following you? Geoff certainty did. There is something enjoyable about playing with your food before eating it. I relish making my meat paranoid, making them fear the unknown, making them scared of turning around, just in case I’m there. Geoff was already paranoid, possibly due to the large amounts of marijuana I later found in his house. I observed as he looked out into the street before going inside and locking the door. Such a shame that locks can’t keep me out. I scaled the side of his house, and sat on the roof. I could hear cartoons blaring from the TV, the smell of Cheetos wafted up to me, within the haze of marijuana stench. Despite the loud cartoons and awful stink, the sound of his heart beating and the smell of his skin draws me in. I shimmy off the roof and kick open a window on the top floor. Geoff is so high at this point that he doesn’t notice. I make my way down the stairs towards my next meal. He does not notice when I enter the room. Eventually he sees my reflection in the TV, after mumbling something about me not being real he runs out of his house. Geoff is surprisingly quick, for a guy high on drugs. But even the fast humans are no match for my speed and strength. Unlike in horror films, he doesn’t trip over. Instead he runs straight into a traffic light pole, in doing this, he was kind enough to knock himself unconscious. Allowing me to easily pick him up and run him to my own apartment, without being seen by the general public.

It’s strange how peaceful a person can look when they are knocked unconscious. All the muscles in the face relax and you instantly look younger. It looks like they don’t have a care in the world and in that moment, they don’t. When you wake up, that’s when you start to worry. It takes time for people to register the fact that they are in danger. Geoff, in his concussed and still slightly high state took even longer than most. I find that it is best to prolong death, to ensure that the meat is fresh, a process that I’m sure Geoff will not enjoy. I prefer to remove each limb, one at a time. Then, attempt to keep the human alive through a series of sedatives and IV drips. Large amounts of screaming can cause neighbours to call the cops and explaining a partially dead person on the couch is not easy. Next, I strip the skin off the meat, which is a surprisingly lengthy process. Then I cut any fat off the meat, unless it will help with the cooking. Then I’ll let the leg, usually, to sit in a marinade whilst I deal with other parts of the body. When it comes to a human body, every part can be used for something. Liver, intestines, brains anything can be cooked up and eaten, if you know a good recipe and have a good storage system. Storage of all this meat is extremely important. A big freezer, whilst expensive, is crucial to keeping things from going off. When I first starting eating humans I didn’t take enough care with keeping my meats frozen and let me tell you that food poisoning is not pleasant and can be particularly violent.

While Geoff’s leg is marinating, I start to shake, not a good sign. It has been too long since my last feed. I look in a mirror and see my skin turn translucent and grey. My hair is practically ejected from my scalp and my skin is pulled tight against my skull and bones. My vision blurs and adjusts making the lights in my house hurt my eyes. I shut them tightly and fumble to find the light switch. After failing to turn off the painfully bright lights, I throw a punch to where the light switch should be. The lights go out and I remove my hand from the hole I made. I hear a whimpering coming from the corner and turn to see my dog shaking about as much as I am. The scent of human flesh enters my nostrils and consumes my thoughts. I race over to the couch, pushing furniture out of my way, to get to where Geoff is lying unconscious. I rip open his ribcage with ease and stuff as much muscle, meat, lungs, whatever I can get my hands on in my mouth. I inhale as much of Geoff’s body as I can, eating every last bit of skin, bone, intestine. My only thought is about getting the human flesh inside me. When Geoff’s body has been devoured, I am still not satisfied. I bolt into the kitchen and tear the freezer door off its hinges. Luckily there are a few left-over pieces of someone, that I was going to feed to the dog. I scoff them down and exceedingly slowly the curse starts to back off. My skin grows plump and warm, my hair grows back and my eyes are now attempting to adjust to the darkness of my apartment. I get up off my kitchen floor and look for a torch. I eventually find my phone and use it to survey the damage. My couch is torn is half, there is the hole in the wall, my freezer door just lying on the ground and Geoff’s blood covering a decent proportion of the apartment.

It was foolish of me to go too long without a meal, I could have revealed the curse’s existence. As far as humans are concerned vampires and werewolves are fiction. I thought they were for a long time, but then I was trapped. Trapped in an elevator of all places, for six days. Humans can only survive three days without food and water. After the other people in the elevator died, I ate them to keep myself alive. In doing so, I was cursed and discovered that every nightmarish creature that you can read about is real. They live among us, silently to protect themselves. Quietly feeding off the humans that are forgotten, the homeless and the runaways.

When a human consumes another human’s flesh they become cursed, cursed by the Wendigo. If we don’t keep feeding on human flesh then we become uncontrollable monsters. But other than that, it’s a manageable condition.