#if you're read jane eyre you know who i'm referring to

[effysayres]

everything i’m doing with my life right now is just filling time until i meet my destiny (being locked away in the attic by my husband during my 30s)

[burningvelvet]

finished charlotte brontë's villette today. some more thoughts to add to the collection... (SPOILERS AHEAD!)

- literally WHAT???

- two whole chapters dedicated to a bad drug trip. i wasn't joking in my last villette post when i said it had to take the trophy for weirdest brontë novel ever (starting shirley after this, but just based on the plot synopsis alone i already know it doesn't come close)

- there are SO many parallels between this novel and jane eyre it's truly insane - to the point where it truly feels like a retelling of the jane eyre - with all the fairy tale themes (quite literally acknowledged in the book) but without jane eyre's fairy tale ending

- the main character's love interest, paul emmanuel, is literally charlotte saying: "what if i took mr. rochester, erased all of his sex appeal, and made him way worse in general? okay, that backfired, shit, shit... wait, but then what if i try to make him better later on? okay, this is going well, this is going w— ah, shit, lucy doesn't need him anyway, let's just have him disappear and people can think whatever the fuck they want. i don't really care what they think."

- and apparently charlotte tried to kill him off in the end but her dad made her leave it up to interpretation thinking it wouldn't sell as well if not... so anyway what i'm saying is that this book is for the mr. rochester haters

- i don't even really hate paul but i didn't really feel for his loss either, even though i did learn to tolerate him and like him maybe a little toward the end... but in the main, his character flaws were so striking, and his lack of chemistry with lucy compared to jane/rochester for example, is really to blame for that

- i feel like lucy may be incapable of lasting love and/or she is truly suffering from comphet or gender troubles

- i feel like she had way more chemistry with john whether platonically or romantically. honestly he was one of the most entertaining characters because he felt very real.

- i wonder if villette (based on their frienemy situation) had repressed feelings for ginevra or vice versa because 1) the theatre performance where lucy had to act as ginevra's male lover and fell really really into the role, 2) the fact that they keep up a correspondence, 3) when lucy said ginevra would lean on her like she was her male suitor & it made her uncomfortable, 4) complimenting her beauty & defending her to john despite her dislike of her (this could just be lucy's goodness) 5) lucy's comment to polly where she said she could never love a man OR a woman "in that way you're referring to" (tightly paraphrasing here), 6) lucy analyzing the artwork of naked women & then defending herself to paul, 7) lucy admiring/idolizing madame beck who is described as being masculine, 8) probably many other things i've forgotten

- after reading theories about charlotte and ellen nussy i'm feeling vindicated in my discovery of the queer themes - the novel can be read as being very comphetish (comphet = compulsive heterosexuality; for those of you who may not know, this term was coined by writer/theorist adrienne rich to describe the ways in which lgbt people [she focuses on women] are brainwashed to think they're straight, & the weird symptoms this can cause!)

- i read a spoiler about characters being not who you think they are initially, and so i knew john was dr. bretton, BUT I MISTAKENLY THOUGHT POLLY WAS GINEVRA! and in my last post i made a reference about seeing a lot of adèle varens in "the french girl of the story" but really i see a little bit of adèle in both ginevra and polly - to clarify this point. but i also see how the fairy references re: polly parallel jane - that's about where their comparison ends though.

- anyway the nun plot was interesting but kind of underwhelming. also which we got more time with ginevra's rakish beau.

- might make a whole post just on the comparisons between paul/rochester & paul/lucy & rochester/jane... so many... damn...

[bonesandthebees]

hello! ive been very skillfully avoiding reading other peoples reactions because once again i am behind by two chapters!!

so chapter five here we go!

i like that tommy’s just like a kid having a grand ole time and wilbur is like “this guys SUCKS.” its very silly

i just semi-recently read jane eyre so the curtains on fire are giving rochester’s curtains on fire but that was because his wife that he hid away lit them on fire whilst he was sleeping not because of you know an accident of sorts but anyways

i like that tommy is just tommy living his best life

to the city they go!!!

i like their interactions just in the carriage its interesting

FLOWERS RAHHHHHHHHHHH

(i wont go into flower imagery right now because that would leave us here for a while and while they might have meaning they most likely do not in this sensebut god i love flowers and all their meanings and even the way they coincide with characters and ahhh)

i like that wilbur can read her it makes sense for his character but now we get to see how perceptive tommy is which is basically not at all in this case at least

and wilbur is helping despite his hatred and his thoughts dont cross phil and how he would want him to help, but its a rather decision solely based on his own conscience and that is an interesting thing

and then theres tommy who takes everything as a challenge and yeah i just am intrigued by them

but this time wilbur holds himself because of phil and thats the contrast between the things he does for him and the things he does for his dad

tommy is doing things!!!

and i like this

i like that this shows tommy’s morals, it shows that he understands he has power in his position he just prefers to be a kid rather than have to act with that power constantly and i think that is telling of how he would be as an heir to the throne because he doesn’t act for the power he acts for the people

and hes a good person, exactly that wilbur, he doesnt play the games of politics and that is what makes him interesting

i like that in this situation wilbur knows what would be good and bad options and it sets him up to be able to better evaluate their answers from his own view

blank slate

and now tommy gets to go to the place because he is a possible heir interesting

anyways i enjoyed this chapter! i think it gave good insight on all the heirs character in a sense and how they would be as a leader and its just kind of setting that stage but anyways time for the next chapter!

- 🪿

lol yeah the contrast between wilbur and tommy in ch 5 is so funny. tommy is just a kid goofing around and wilbur is like "I hate my fucking life why am I stuck with him" he's such a dramatic teenager

gonna be 100% honest I don't really use a lot of flower language symbolism solely bc I feel like depending on the source you go off of you can find totally different meanings for the same flower like there seems to be very little consistency across the board and I never know what the 'right' source to use is. this isn't to say there is no flower language/symbolism is the fic, the references to roses are very intentional. and there are hints to certain things with the flowers mentioned in the palace garden but it's not exactly... symbolism, per se. anyway, you're more than welcome to analyze the flower language of the flowers at the market, just know that I didn't look into that at all and just chose the flowers mentioned there mostly based off vibes lol

yeah I liked pointing out that wilbur wasn't trying to help tommy with the seashell seller because of his father's orders, he genuinely didn't want to watch a 13 year old get ripped off

tommy is a blank slate like phil said. he's young and idealistic and most importantly, a good person. and one could say the reason he's still good is because he hasn't gotten involved in the games yet. you'll have to wait and see if he stays that way as the story progresses

ty I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter!!!

[imaginepirates]

Hi! Could I please have a ship? I'm a wee 5'3" with messy red hair, freckles, and glasses; I'm an INFP 4w5 Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon, and Sag Rising Slytherin, bisexual, autistic actress. I adore Shakespeare and classic literature (Jane Eyre is my absolute favorite), as well as a strong red wine. I'm quite withdrawn and distrusting with most people I meet at first, although I put on a cheery air, and I have a dry wit that not everyone gets. Once you're in my inner circle however, I will do anything in my power to make you happy!

I ship you with Barbossa!

For some reason, I can really picture Barbossa with an s/o on the shorter side. Also, just the fact that you refer to yourself as "wee" makes me think of his manner of speaking, and though I'm well aware you don't need Celtic roots to be a readhead, I think that between your hair and freckles, Barbossa would be reminded of his original home in southwest England (think around Cornwall). Barbossa definitely keeps books on his ship, for both reading and decoration, partially as an intimidation tactic to make himself look smarter than anyone else who might board. Mind you, he is. But that also means that he's read Shakespeare and probably has some of the plays with him. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he had quite a few of those monologs and soliloquies memorized. I'm afraid the Bronte sisters weren't around quite yet, so no Jane Eyre for you. We already know he has an appreciation for good tastes, given how he lamented his inability to enjoy food while immortal. He'll adore your wit; dry humor is right up his alley. He has no problem with your distrust, finding it wise, all things considered. That being said, he loves how you open up after getting to know each other, and he appreciates every effort you make towards his happiness. He's lived a long time -- longer than is his share -- so he knows how important even little gestures can be.

[paleclementine]

Happy Halloween! It feels like October 2nd was just yesterday. This month went by crazy fast. Today I am dressed up as Joe from Bladerunner 2049, which basically is just a long black coat, brown pants, boots, and that bandage he wears during the "you look lonely, I can fix that" scene. I really like it. Idk it makes me feel sooo like, cool. Like my internal is now external. I really do feel like that movie and it's nice to listen to that kind of music and walk around with a "bloody" bandage on my nose and have my coat flare out behind me in the creeping winter cold.

I didn't manage to write my Shakespeare essay but that's okay because he extended the deadline. For some fuckin reason. I have to get that done by Thursday. So I'm not doing it today, and probably not tomorrow. Most likely the day of. Because that's how I roll. Oh and I;m in British writers class (obviously) HOLY FUCK how many fucking times can the people in my class reference Jane Eyre in one day?? it's literally not in the curriculum people are just teacher's pets. and freaks. Um anyway, I lost my train of thought lmao. But on another note As I was walking through campus I noticed literally NO ONE was dressed up until you got closer to the English building. lmao. Someone as their OC (probably), someone as Kobeni, someone as scarlet witch. And a really ugly guy in my class dressed as Dazai who looks more like an extreeeemely hungover and ugly version of him. Very sloppy. Do not approve.

I posted a new chapter of my fanfic which yayyy but I haven't gotten as many projected hits as I thought or a single comment which is odd because there's always one user who comments very enthusiastically. Eh, whatever. People have shit going on. ANd no one is going to be reading fanfic near Halloween. Other than me, of course, bc I am reading a longfic about Avatar bc Anthony got me back into it.

So anyway. This weekend. Me and Anthony went to SLC and stayed at Amy's. We ate ramen and hung out at Amy's house Thursday. It was really pleasant :) Friday we... uhhh I don't think we did much until we went to the FNAF movie. I could write a whole dissertation about how much I hated that movie, but all that to say, it was a huge let down. And no Markiplier! Sat we hung out with Amy and went to "witchfest" which was really fun and more like a farmer's market than a hallloweeen festival but still fun. Sorry for typos I'm being quiet. After that we got hotpot which was BUSSS. I'm getting better at talking to Amy but I'm not sure why. Sunday we literally did nothing but watch IT and eat In N Out. We got burritos and left yesterday.

Yesterday. Oh boy, yesterday. I walked into my apartment to go into my room and got stopped at the door by Priya, who gave me that -kayla-english-madeline-hubbart STARE and said

"HAnnah! We haven't seen you in so long!" "oh! I've been gone all weekend. HAhaha. For halloweekend. Hhaha." "ohhhh did you go to the parties down there?" "*scoffs for some reason* no, haha, not at all." "You should hang out sometime!" "okay :)" "no seriously, you should hangout sometime." "I want to!" "Okay!" "Okay!" which, okay, I can see what you're thinking. Hannah, she was being so nice and inviting you to hang out with them! You don't know how girls work. She said it like a threat, or at least it felt like one.

Anyway, I go into my room, tidy it a little, check to see if I can do my laundry (for the first fucking time in three weeks. It''s full). Take out my room trash. Shower. All the while, hearing them in the living room. I want to document what Jimena said because I seriously think she is the least self-aware, miserable person I fucking know. "People always think I'm bisexual. But Im straight. Straight latinaaaaa! but when I'm drunk, I'll seriously make out with anyone. Even girls." like. holy fuck. How does she not realize how actually fucking (and I don't use this work lightly) RETARDED she sounds. Also, Stephen got a girlfriend (fatJay, who is not fat at all and Jimena is a cunt for calling her that) and Jimena bought mini pickles and said "hey guys! this is how big Stephen's penis is!" Yeah okay bitch who led him on and was a completely fucking mess----- okay, ranting about her is cathartic but pissing me off. So basically, they were really annoying and sang star spangled banner at the top of their lungs on a karaoke machine from Five Below and burped like Hailey does, so I pledged not to come out of my room until everyone had gone to bed. Which would have been fine.

If not for the migraine.

Always the fucking migraine. I holed myself away in actual anguish, waiting for them to go to bed, all the while watching depressive tiktoks (I redownloaded it) of landscapes with Silent Hill audios n shit. and I can't express how much I was suffering and for how long. My suffering and my migraine were what I remember most about the night, despite the details I shared about my roommates. everyone went to bed at 3am. I darted out to get some water. And my chickpeas. Anthony came over and brought my leftover burrito. I broke down in his arms. I seriously felt like i had knives on the right side of my face. He tucked me in and I fell asleep. At 5:30 am. Had a dream where someone was drilling peoples faces and realized it was my rommates with the blender and woke up 15 minutes before my alarm at 11:15. Got dressed. Blade runner. Went to class.

well, that was depressing. *zooms in camera like a millennial*

On a lighter note, today is me and Anthony's second anniversary. I have no Idea what we're going to do for that tomorrow or for Halloween today, but I really like being blade runner. It's fun. I want to make a tiktok of me in the mountains and post it later.

I'm so glad I met Anthony. I love him more than I can express. I want to write about him later. I will.

Later.

[theluminoussunflower]

Todd gets his wisdom teeth removed. Neil takes care of him. That's it, that's the story.

~1.7k words (oof)

~references to bonk, but no bonk (don't worry, they're adults)

Todd had to get his wisdom teeth pulled. He wasn't exactly excited about it, because he never had surgery before, let alone ever put his state of well-being in the hands of someone else. He liked taking care of himself. But that wasn't an option.

He couldn't stop shaking his leg in the waiting room, trying to read Jane Eyre to distract him (it wasn't working). Neil sat next to him, new script in lap, reached over and took one of Todd's hands in his.

"It'll be okay, sweetheart," Neil whispered, looking for Todd's blue eyes.

Todd leaned over and laid his head on Neil's shoulder.

"I'll take good care of you when you're out of surgery, okay?"

A nurse came out into the waiting room. "Todd?"

Todd looked up. He handed his book to Neil and forced a smile. "I'll see you on the other side," he joked.

Neil smiled and watched Todd go back with the nurse.

~

"Neil?" a nurse called about an hour later. Neil stood. "He's all finished."

Neil followed the nurse back to the room they had Todd in. Todd was still laying back in the chair, eyes barely open. He ran his hand over Todd's head. "How are you feeling, baby?"

"Guh," Todd said, his mouth muffled with bloody gauze. He held up a thumb.

The doctor who had performed the surgery entered the room. Neil looked at her. "Everything went well," she told Neil. "No complications or anything. He'll be a bit out of it for the rest of the day, so make sure he gets his meds to numb the pain."

"Of course," Neil said. He listened to the nurse and doctor give him all the medication information (what time he had to take them, how much, how he should clean his mouth until the stitches dissolved, etc.) He kept an eye on Todd, who still looked barely awake. He had a little ice pack wrapped around his swollen face, making his hair stick out awkwardly.

Eventually, Todd grabbed onto Neil's sweater. "Hi," he said with a smile.

"Hey there, sweetheart," Neil said, smiling. He wasn't sure if Todd would remember all of this. "Trust me, once we're out of here, you will have my full undivided attention, okay?"

Todd turned to one of the nurses who was taking the gauze out of his mouth. “He’s an actor, you know?” he said indiscreetly pointing at Neil. “He’s the prettiest actor everrr.”

"Todd, do you think you'll be able to stand up?" the doctor asked.

Without answering, Todd swung his legs off the chair and stood, with the help of Neil and another nurse. "You have nice shoulders," Todd said to Neil.

"Thanks," Neil laughed.

Todd stumbled to Neil's car but made it without incident. Neil thanked the team again and got into the driver’s seat.

“Ready to go home?” Neil asked finding his car key and starting the engine.

Todd lightly swatted Neil's chest and smirked. "You know it."

Neil rolled his eyes. This will be interesting.

~

"That was fun," Todd said when Neil pushed him into their apartment. "You're a great driver, Neil."

"Thanks, sweetheart," Neil said. He held onto Todd's shoulders and slowly guided him to their couch.

"Mm, couch," Todd muttered before collapsing onto the cushions.

Neil rolled him over onto his back. "You can't lie on your face. It'll hurt you."

"Awww, that sucks," Todd said. He grabbed Neil's sweater and weakly tried to pull Neil on top of him. "I like it chest down."

Neil kept himself off Todd, pushing off the couch. "Uh-huh, I know you do. Stay here. I'm gonna get your meds, okay? I'll be right back."

Neil jogged to the kitchen table where he had set all of Todd's medications and quickly organized them by when Todd had to take them. He filled up a glass with water and ice and brought the first pill, ibuprofen, to the couch.

"What's that?" Todd asked, narrowing his eyes at the white pill. He had removed the ice pack from his face and set it on the couch.

"It's medicine," Neil said. "It'll help ease the pain in your mouth. It's really important that you take this, Todd."

Todd profusely shook his head. "No, I don't do drugs, thank you." He rolled onto his side, facing the couch cushions.

"Todd," Neil sighed. He set the water and the pill on the coffee table in front of them and pulled on Todd to roll him back over. "It's not illegal drugs. If you don't take this, your mouth is going to hurt really, really badly. And I don't want to see you in pain. So please, just take it."

Todd stared at Neil for a moment. Lights were on, but no one was home, Neil thought. Todd sat up, popped the pill into his mouth, and swallowed it with the water. "You won't tell anyone about this, right?" He asked.

Neil shook his head, confused. "Tell anyone what?"

"That I'm taking drugs?"

Neil shook his head again. "I won't tell a soul." He held a hand up. "Dead poets honor."

"When will I know it's kicked in?" Todd sat back on the couch.

"When you're not in pain." Neil sighed and stood, hands on his hips. "Do you want to lie down in bed or on the couch?

Todd looked up at him, smirking again. "If we lie in bed, I'm not getting any rest," he mumbled.

Neil stared at him for a moment. "Couch it is."

"No wait!" Todd exclaimed when Neil started to walk away.

Neil stopped and turned back to Todd. "Todd, if I lie with you, there's no fooling around. I mean it. You might break your stitches, and that would be bloody and painful and no fun." Certainly not sexy.

"But Neil..." Todd stood, only to immediately stumble into Neil's arms. "You're so pretty, and I wanna kiss you."

Neil placed a short and sweet kiss into Todd's swollen lips. "You're gonna be in a lot of pain soon, Toddy. Let's just get you down." He started guiding Todd toward their bedroom.

"If I keep my hands to myself, will you lie with me, sweetheart?" Todd asked when Neil opened the bedroom door.

Neil sighed, exacerbated. He's not normally this needy. But I guess I don't mind it. "You can't lay your head on my chest. That'll hurt your face."

"I just want to hold you for a bit," Todd said.

Neil sat him on the queen bed. "Do you want your pajamas?"

Todd looked down at his black joggers and gray undershirt. He was told to wear clothes he would be okay with getting blood on. Luckily, he had yet to do that. "Could you get me a sweatshirt?" he asked looking up at Neil.

Neil walked to their closet. "Columbia or NYU?" Their current universities.

"Your NYU one, please." Todd pulled his shirt over his head and threw it at the laundry basket near the door, narrowly missing it, and watched the shirt fall onto the floor. He felt an odd swell of emotions. His chest seemed to tighten, and his hands started shaking.

When Neil turned around, he saw a familiar sight: Todd on the verge of tears. He got on his knees in front of Todd. "Hey, what's wrong? what happened?" He assumed Todd started feeling unexpected pain in his mouth.

Todd nodded toward the discarded undershirt on the floor by the laundry basket. "I missed it, Neil. How could I miss it?" He sounded serious, but Neil couldn't quite figure out why.

"It's okay, baby, you don't need to cry," Neil whispered fluffing Todd's hair. "I'll drop it in while you put this on, okay?"

"God, I can't get anything right. I can't even put my shirt in the laundry basket." Todd pulled Neil's NYU sweatshirt over his head.

Neil picked up the undershirt and dropped it into the basket. "It's not a big deal, Todd. See, quick fix. Not detrimental. I'm not mad, okay?"

"I don't like when you're mad, Neil." Todd lied on his back onto the bed. "You're scary when you're mad."

Neil narrowed his eyes. "When have I gotten mad at you?" he asked. He sat on the edge of the bed next to Todd and started stroking Todd's face, a calming technique they found out he liked.

"It's not at me," Todd said with shrug. "Sometimes, you lose your temper over the phone or with other people, and it scares me a little bit."

"Todd, I would never be upset with you unless I thought you were being malicious," Neil said. He climbed over Todd to the other side of the bed and cuddled next to the blond. "Let alone would I get upset with you if you missed the laundry basket. It happens. It's not a big deal."

Todd looked down at Neil. "I know," he said after a moment of silence. "I'm just overthinking."

"I think the gas is starting to wear off," Neil said. He combed Todd's bangs off his face the best he could. "Do you want the ice back?"

Todd shook his head. "In a bit. My face is really cold."

Neil reached up, and sure enough, his face was basically frozen.

"You think you could warm it up?" Todd asked, dead serious.

Neil laughed. "I said no—"

"This isn't fooling around!" Todd said. "I just want the most handsome man in New York to kiss me. Is that so bad? Just c'mere." Todd pulled on Neil's shirt.

Neil folded and carefully kissed Todd's freezing cold, swollen face. He didn't apply the typical amount of pressure, for fear of hurting his cheeks.

"Mhm," Todd mumbled, "why didn't the doc prescribe this? I feel so much better." He turned his head to catch Neil's lips.

Neil kissed Todd like glass on a string.

"I can't feel you," Todd whispered.

"Your lips are numb," Neil said with a laugh. "I promise I'm kissing you." He laid his head back onto Todd's chest. "Get some rest, my love."

Todd pressed his lips into the top of Neil's head, but he can't feel anything. "Am I kissing you?"

Neil chuckled. "Yes, you are. Thank you."

Todd smiled and leaned his head back into his pillow, closing his eyes.

[lowkeyorloki]

Guess who reread ch34 too ? Me

I totally agree wth BC anon, we have the same mind and the same theory ( if you see this you're extra cool anon ).

But I have catch on to two things and I need to know if I'm right.

First of all, the Jane Eyre and Mr Rochester comparison. I have an idea that it means that reader is going to break up and maybe leave for a while ( Jane left Rochester in the book ). But !!! I think a Loki = Jane is not out of the question when you think about the childhood of both of them !!! It would make sense that Jane's lack of selfworth and abusive aunt rings a Bell to Loki. ( this kinda is an excuse for me to rant about my favorite book )

Second of all, the song that plays in the car after the Narvi accident. " Maybe I don’t quite know what to say, but I’m here in your doorway" Was that a reference to when Loki helped the reader wth the pregnancy test ??

Also Loki saying his worst fear is hurting the reader... ouch

YAYYYY chapter 34 supremacy hehe :)) one of the best chapters and def my favorite with Narvi

GOSH I love Jane Eyre I need to reread it... but yeah I can totally see the comparisons between Loki and Jane! Obviously he's an English prof and has read all the classics because of that but I can absolutely picture 17 year old Loki finding a lot of comfort in the book/character of Jane while he was living with Laufey. Also wow until you sent this message I didn't think about Jane as in Jane Eyre and Jane as in Thor's wife. I bet Loki's affinity for the novel made him like Jane before Thor even introduced Loki to her 🥺

ALSO so that song is "this is me trying" by taylor swift and is technically a plothole because the song came out in 2020 and asis takes place in 2018 (oops). it actually comes up in next week's update so keep your eye out for that! there's one specific line in the song that made me want to put the lyrics in the fic directly, though the entire song is pretty relevant.

And yeah Loki's worst fear... yeah. Ouch why would lowkeyorloki do this someone should really do something about her :/

[nightmule]

In this dream I'm the same age I am now  (23) but I'm back in school, specifically in some sort of English Literature class. I believe it's the first day or at least very early in the semester because I don't seem to know the other students or the teacher. Someone spilled coffee and the floor before we got there and one of the other students tries to mop it up while we wait for the teacher even though the floor is carpeted. There's a worksheet about some Jane Eyre type heroine in front of me, but as was often the case when I really was in school, I didn't read the book and I'm a bit stressed over how few of the answers I know.

 The teacher of the class finally shows up and he's a man I would guess to be in his 40s. He tells us that we don't need to know his name and we should simply refer to him as Professor. In response to this caginess the students reach an unspoken agreement to try to find out as many personal details about him as possible by any means necessary. As he lectures not only do we psychoanalyze him and deduce things about his life based on what he says about the story, we also share these hypotheses with him as they arise. After one particularly accurate deduction he asks if he can sit down with us for a moment and gestures to my seat. It's a small class, only about 7 students, with only exactly enough desks for each of us. Since he singled me out I get up and offer the professor my seat, which he takes, presumably to talk to us "mano a mano" about our behavior.

 I only stand there feeling awkward for the briefest of seconds before there's a tug at my sleeve from a classmate offering for me to sit on his lap. Now in real life there's basically no way I would agree to this as I'm very awkward when it comes to physical contact of any kind and sitting on someone's lap would no doubt make me incredibly self conscious about my size, but in the dream this feels like the obvious solution to the room's lack of chairs. So I sit on his lap, sideways so that I can look directly at the Professor as he speaks.

 The Professor puts his head in his hands and tells us "It doesn't matter whether your guesses about me are right or wrong, I'm not the thing you're supposed to be learning about!" And sighs heavily. "This definitely means we were right" I whisper into my seat-mate's ear and he laughs softly. When the Professor gets up he is no longer a middle aged man but a young woman who I know, despite not reading the book, resembles the protagonist. "Maybe this will help you focus on the assignment," she says. Our worksheets are different now too, instead of questions we must answer there's a list of "Common Assumptions about Gothic Heroines" and we need to mark which ones are true for the heroine of this book.

I turn to my seat-mate with a look of shock. The type of "did you just see that?" Look human beings everywhere are prone to share when something unbelievable happens. After we make eye contact I do a double take. This is the first time I've really looked at his face and unlike most of my dreams where I just conveniently never see people's faces I really see and remember it. He has dark skin, a wide jaw, and a broad smile that feels like coming in out of the cold on a winter day. "I'm going to love him" I find myself thinking and the thought is so startling that I almost fall off his lap. He puts his arm around my waist to stop me falling and it feels like home. I look at the worksheet once more and realize that maybe I do know the answers.