#anderperry fanfic

[sleepy-gee]

todd is a shy kisser. and neil loves it.

the small intake of breath followed by the tentative meeting of their lips. neil can hardly stop himself from smiling into it. and the way todd melts into it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

and don't even get him started on the look todd gives him. delicate doe eyes, poetry personified in a gaze alone. how he wished he could write about everything he saw in his eyes. so bright and clear, like the ocean. he'd swim in them if he could.. no, no. that sounds cheesy. scratch that. todd's better at describing beauty than he is.

he'll settle for observing such perfection. running his thumb along a plush lip, drawing out a shaking breath before going back in for another kiss. one not quite as shy. comforting. sweet. soft. and he won't be able to hold back his smile this time, pulling away with a small chuckle to regain his composure.

"neil," todd whines. "we only have a minute or two until we have to go.. c'mon.."

"i know, i know. i'm sorry." neil laughs again, not able to wipe the smile off of his face.

todd returns the smile, resting his head against neil's shoulder. ".. you know, for an actor, you're not good at keeping your emotions in check."

"oh, and you do?" neil drags his fingers through a few blond strands of hair. "what do you know about acting?"

"i'd say i'm pretty damn good. i keep myself composed whenever i'm around you."

"you can't say stuff like that and expect me not to kiss you again."

todd lifts his head up. "well? what're you waiting for?"

neil fixes his face and kisses him again. a little rougher. lips part and breath is stolen. when they pull away to breathe, both panting, he flashes that grin of his again. "now who's the bad actor?"

[inahallucination]

au where todd and charlie r 'dating' in the way that they didn't have anything else to do or todd was getting asked out and felt uncomfy so charlie and him started 'dating' but then todd met charlie's best friend neil and uh oh spaghetti o charlie forgot to tell neil his bf wasnt rlly his bf 

so like in this au todd and charlie meet at like college or something - maybe theyre dormmates anyway

todd’s a little more comfortable than he was in high school and it shows in the way he stands and carries himself, so he starts getting a lot of attention 

he is simply a todd, though, and he doesn’t not know how to deal with that

so he asks charlie to help him somehow

and charlie likes chaos so he suggests fake dating and todd is like “um is that a good idea” and charlie is like “have i ever had a bad idea” and todd is like “almost every idea you’ve had-”

anyway

so they fake date

but then 

one day charlie’s best friend, his other half, his brother (in blood if the ritual they performed in highschool, drunk, worked) shows up becuz he’s planning on transferring out of his yucky dad-picked college 

and to todd’s horror, charlie’s best friend is extremely pretty

and to neil’s horror, he starts having a crush on his best friend’s crush and oh does his self loathing go hard

[good--merits-accumulated]

If we for a moment forgo canon events and disagreements then I do wholeheartedly hope and believe that Todd and Neil get married during the '70s. It's a sunny afternoon on the perfect day in mid-spring and the light is at its thickest and most golden and Charlie got registered as an officiant just for this day and not everybody's present - Meeks can't make it from Switzerland on short notice, but they get a photo of him and prop it up on the coffee table at the perfect angle to see. Neil keeps wondering if he's going to get the pre-wedding jitters and does end up pacing around the living room early in the morning, but it's less cold feet and more impatience. (Turns out it's kind of hard to get cold feet when your almost-husband is sitting drowsily on the couch to keep you company and he keeps almost nodding off and you keep remembering all the ways in which you love him.) Ginny barges in at noon with hairspray and a sewing kit and insists on making bouquets with shitty grocery store flowers for both of them and Todd's suit ends up with a hastily added elbow patch and Neil's tie doesn't match his pocket square, because one's from Cameron and the other's from Knox. (Something borrowed, something blue...) It's perfect. In the end they go out on the balcony and Charlie's wearing this really tacky priest outfit, just really shitty fabric so that he's probably sweating bullets, and the collar's come untucked, and at the last moment Chris shrieks, "You forgot your bouquets!" and throws one with such good aim it hits Todd in the face. But they get through the vows and both of them only cry a little, because Cameron cries enough for all of them combined, and then that's it - over - and married. And as Charlie beams and says they can kiss there's a well-timed shower of rice from the balcony above, and congratulations, from some upstairs neighbours and well-wishers. Pitts catches the kiss on his expensive video camera and he also catches the cheering, which is so loud that, four blocks away, a lone man packing up his street food van pauses in closing boxes and thinks that there must be a party going on. He's right. And at the end of the night when the last loved one leaves and shuts the door gently behind them to not disturb the newlyweds lying together on the couch, silent with happiness, it's still perfect. At that moment it doesn't matter that there is no piece of paper, or no registry office, or that if Todd has an accident Neil might not be able to visit him in the hospital room. There will be tears for those things, but they come later. For now they're married. The beautiful thing never changes.

[pineapple-coffee-writes]

Goodnight Kisses

Prompt: a conversation I had with @cowboylexapro :)

Ship: Anderperry

Neil always gets home late from the theatre.

More often than not, Todd is already fast asleep by the time Neil arrives back to their shared apartment.

Neil isn’t thrilled about that. He wants every second he can get with Todd.

So every night, Neil quietly moves through the apartment, taking great care not to wake Todd.

He gets comfortable in his pajamas, brushes his teeth, and tiptoes to the bed.

Once he has eased himself under the covers, pausing every time Todd so much as breathed different, Neil made sure to press a kiss to Todd’s temple.

“I love you, Toddie”, Neil whispered. “Sleep well.”

After those final words of comfort, Neil wraps an arm around Todd’s waist, sighing contently as the soothing sounds of Todd’s breaths lulled him to sleep.

Todd never knew that Neil did this little romantic gesture.

It wasn’t until he was feigning sleep one night, trying to fight his insomnia, that he felt Neil’s lips press gently against his hair.

“I hope you’re having a wonderful dream,” Neil whispered. “I love you.”

Todd had the best sleep of his life that night.

The nighttime kisses were one of the little luxuries in Todd’s life. There was never a doubt in his mind that he was loved.

[charles-simmons-fanfiction]

Drawings - Todd Anderson / Neil perry

Description: lately Todd has started to get into drawing, mostly just when he's bored. But nothing inspires him like his best friend simply existing does. [Fluff, oneshot, 2,1k words]

This is the first fic for this blog, so please let me know if you like it, it would mean the world to me. Hope you enjoy it <3

What started as a sunflower doodle on the corner of the page was now a whole drawing of a garden. Todd knew he should be focusing on what the teacher was saying, Latin was not really an easy class, but the scribbles were simply more interesting at this point.

Especially now with the dead poets reunions, Todd grew to really like art, any type of art. He wasn't the best at it, which bothered him more than he'd like to admit, but in essence, he liked it. There was something about art that he could not quite comprehend. A way people connected with it, expressing feelings that he could barely understand. And that's not even talking about the skills art takes. Charlie, for example, was not just good with words, but also played the trumpet well.

"If only he could share half his confidence with the rest of school. There would be not one insecure person left" Todd thought. It was as annoying as it could be impressive, and he couldn't deny a strong sense of jealousy towards Charlie in a way.

Soon there was not much to add on the garden in his notes and he started looking for something else to draw. Nothing seemed to catch his interest though.

Then he looked at the friend sitting next to him, Neil Perry. He was truly an amazing and passionate artist, yet what Todd felt wasn't jealousy, but rather a strong feeling of admiration. Neil somehow was so perfect at everything. Smart, talented, nice, good looking. And although Todd was not one to even pay attention to looks, even he could notice how charming Neil was. His jawline, his hair, his so-expressive eyes. And, especially, his smile. The way it always felt so warm, so genuine and bright. Now that was something Todd wished he could capture.

His hands moved quickly, making a small sound of the graphite against the paper as he drew. The scribbles started to look like a face, surely, but it was still only barely recognizable as who it was supposed to be.

"Todd" The familiar voice talking to him made him snap out of his thoughts. He looked at Neil and instinctively hid his notebook as he muttered a "What?".

"Look at the board, there's an assignment to do." There was, in fact, an assignment to do. Todd hadn't even noticed. He embarrassedly thanked Neil and rushed to open his book.

After class he went back to the drawing. There was something so off about it. It was a boy, just not Neil. He tried to fix it a few times before realizing he would have to start over.

And he did. He started over, more than once.

Every chance he had to pull out his notebook would be used. If possible, he would try to stay somewhere he could see his "reference". It's not that he didn't know what Neil looked like by heart, he did, it's just that it was nice looking at him. Comforting, almost. Even when they didn’t talk, it was nice to simply have him there, somewhere he could see, or feel.

It might be stupid, but for Todd it felt like everything about Neil could make beautiful art. From the most special moments to the most mundane ones. Like when he wakes up in the morning, his hair all messy and his eyes sleepy. Or when he is so focused on what he’s reading that it’s like he’s unaware of everything around him. Or when he laughs. Especially when he laughs. 

Regardless of Todd's efforts, though, the drawing never looked exactly like Neil. Even if it resembled him, it didn't have his essence, his charm. He got more and more frustrated, and, at some point, he got annoyed and gave up. He threw the notebook on his bed, there was homework to get done anyway.

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That afternoon, Neil had spent with the others. In theory, for studying. In reality, to chat and hear Knox talk about the girl he's in love with for the millionth time. They had invited Todd, who denied. It was always a shame when he did that, but not a surprise either. Neil understood he needed that time alone.

By the time he got back to their dorm, it was already dark outside. He opened the door carefully, expecting to find Todd asleep.

As expected, he was asleep, but with his head on the desk, which was full of books and paper. "He must've slept while studying again." Neil thought, unsurprised, as he dropped his bag on the floor. Just like he always did when this happened, he gently picked Todd up and put him in his bed. He also made sure to grab a blanket for him.

Before he turned off the lights, he took a second to admire his roommate. For someone who was that anxious while awake, it was nice seeing him completely peaceful. Neil almost didn't notice the open notebook on the corner of the bed, probably forgotten there. He picked it up to put back in its place, but his attention was caught when he noticed it had drawings, not words.

The first page had a drawing of a garden. Each flower looked different, and the style was inconsistent, in a unique way. Neil smiled,"I didn't even know Todd liked to draw", as he turned the page.

There was the drawing of a boy, who he didn't recognize, smiling and looking at the distance. Neil hesitated, not feeling sure if this was something he was supposed to be seeing. It was the curiosity, added to a light feeling of jealousy, that made him turn another page.

This time it was a full body drawing, with not too many detail, of a boy in a Welton uniform. It was clear it had been erased way too many times, and the paper was almost tearing. It could be anyone, really, but it bothered him a little that he didn't know who. He turned the page one more time, there were some doodles, probably for practice.

This was probably an invasion of Todd's privacy, so he told himself he would close the book after just one more drawing. Neil turned the page one more time, and when he saw it, it took him a few instants to process. It had a few drawings, all of the same person. Him.

Multiple drawings of him, in different angles, clothes, expressions. Under each drawing there were notes in a poorly written handwriting. "Why is it his smile that never looks similar??", "His nose looks better than that", "Wow, he's the only person who manages to make reading glasses charming" were some of those notes, along with some self criticism for next drawings.

Neil quickly closed the notebook, slightly blushing, and feeling like he had definitely just seen something he was not supposed to. He took a look at Todd, checking if he was still asleep.

In a way, he was extremely flattered. And more than anything, he couldn't help but feel very loved, which was probably stupid, those were just drawings. It still touched him a lot though. To have someone look at you and see something worth making art about. He tried containing his smile. No one was there to see it, but he still felt embarrassed of how much he was smiling.

It was getting late, and he needed to sleep. Neil glanced at Todd one last time. It took everything in him not to hug him, that would be weird, but he didn't see any harm on a small kiss on the forehead. He gently stroked Todd's hair as he did it, feeling relieved his roommate was asleep.

"I love you so much" Neil whispered, and went to bed before he could even think too much of what he said.

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Todd woke up in his bed the next day, instead of at his desk. As usual, he simply assumed he had walked to his bed on his own and forgotten about it.

Neil was already up, finishing some work before the class started.

"Good morning" Todd yawned, slowly getting off of bed.

"'Morning" Neil didn't look at him, just kept focused on what he was doing. "Have you slept well?"

"I did, actually. Had a nice dream for once. You?"

"I slept well too"

His answers sounded dry. Todd thought it was weird, but didn't question it. He got up and started getting ready. When he reached out to get his notebook, he noticed it wasn’t on his bed anymore. Instantly distressed, he began looking for it, taking off the sheets from his bed, then looking under it.

"What are you looking for?"

"My notebook! I could swear I had left it here!"

"What does it look like?" Neil looked around too, checking on the desk. "Is it this one?"

Todd's eyes widened and he quickly took the book back from his hands.

"Is that like a diary or something?" Neil asked, taken aback by how nervous Todd had gotten.

"Yeah, kind of" He threw the notebook in his bag and closed it. "You didn't open it or anything, right?"

There was a slight hesitation, or maybe Todd just imagined it. "No, I didn't. Don't worry"

"Good. Thanks." He sighed in relief, grabbing his bag and giving him a small wave as he left the room, feeling like he had just escaped what could’ve been a very awkward situation.

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It was a few days later, that Neil and Todd were sitting on the grass next to the lake and doing some physics homework. Somehow there was always something to get done. Not that Neil was complaining, it wasn't that bad as long he didn't have to do it alone.

Soon the sun would set and it was starting to get cold. It was a nice feeling, both of them doing their own work and only sometimes asking the other for help to understand the questions, but that was it.

"Hey Todd" Neil was the one to break the comfortable silence.

"Hm?"

"I need to confess something" Todd looked up at him, now feeling slightly anxious as Neil spoke. "I did go through your notebook that day. I apologize for doing that, and for lying."

There was complete silence again, now with a certain tension between them. Todd didn't look at him at first, nor did he say anything for a few seconds.

"I'm gonna jump into this lake" He said embarrassedly.

"Your drawings are very good, by the way" Neil tried to lighten the mood. "You never told me you liked to draw"

Todd put all his stuff in his bag, ready to leave, before Neil grabbed his wrist, lightly, barely holding it.

"If you're embarrassed about the drawings of me, please don't be, they're great and I think it's sweet-"

"Please, stop talking" Todd was blushing deeply, still looking anywhere but Neil's eyes. "I'm not mad at you, but don't go through my stuff"

"I won't, I promise" His hand was still on Todd's wrist, he didn't want to let go. Eventually, Todd sat back down again. "I meant it, I think it's very sweet you drew me"

"It's embarrassing"

"No, it's lovely."

Todd looked at him this time, looking for any sign of a negative reaction, but there wasn't any. Neil looked at him with so much adoration, and Todd could swear he had never felt this appreciated by anyone.

Neil's hand moved down to Todd's hand, hesitantly. Their fingers intertwined as both of them simply kept eye contact, admiring the person in front of them as if they were art. Because they were.

"I should write some more poems for you. To make it even, y'know"

“More?”

“Yes. More.”

Todd smiled warmly.

The sun was now almost set, and it was getting dark. They probably couldn't be seen from too far. Neil took a deep breath, taking courage, and gently put his hand on Todd's face, then leaned in and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Out of all the artists in the world, you're my favorite" He whispered into his ear.

Todd squeezed Neil's hand lightly, reciprocating the affection. "And you're mine."

And that night, they walked back to their dorm still holding hands, chatting lightly, and generally enjoying the other's presence. For they were both the artists and the muses, and they knew that.

[heliads]

If requests are still open :) Something for dead poets society, just sth with the gang having a good time, maybe trying to stage a play in the woods? Tbh just a everyone lives and is happy AU with fluff and winter and hot tea! (while I love this book I havent read it in a very long time...)

ok consider an everyone lives au but they are not 100% happy. (i am incapable of not writing angst my apologies) also this is movie dead poets society not book because i have not yet read the books whoops. hope you enjoy xoxo

'and it's not tonight' - dead poets society

masterlist

Todd Anderson is looking out the window at a gray, blustery morning, when they ask him if he’s going to be alright. It wasn’t quite certain before then. It’s not quite certain now, either, even after he answers.

“Of course,” he says somewhat unconvincingly, “Why do you ask?”

Behind him, Charlie Dalton raises a dubious brow. For once in his life, he’s holding himself back, but the situation requires discretion, and who is he to mess up at a time like this? He’s already been warned about treating Todd like a glass doll rather than a paper mache target, but even Charlie can tell that now is the time to pull a few punches. The hollows under his friend’s eyes are far darker than they were a couple of months ago. He wears unease like a well-traveled coat, thin at the elbows and rubbed raw at the seams.

“Look at yourself,” Charlie answers at last, “You’re exhaustion walking. And don’t tell me otherwise, I’ve got eyes.”

“I should hope so,” Todd remarks, and permits himself a small curl of his lips up into a half-smile. Half-smiles are good, though. Almost there to the real thing. So he’ll tell himself, at least.

Even a half-smile can let Charlie know that he’s alright. The other boy breaks into a well-intentioned snorting laugh. “Hey, ask any girl in town and they’ll tell you I’ve got beautiful ones. ‘Sides, Anderson, you know everything’s alright. The stuff with Neil was cleared over, right? He came back.”

“He came back,” Todd repeats somewhat weakly.

“Yeah, yeah, he came back,” Charlie confirms, walking over to clap his friend on the shoulder, shaking him a little bit just to mess with him but mainly to get his affections across. “He’s a little more tired than he used to be, and we’re all plenty scared from what could have happened, but overall we’re glad to see him again. His parents realized they messed up in the nick of time, and even if they wanted him under watch for a little bit, he’s back and we’re back and everything’s alright. Capiche?” He asks dramatically, wiggling his eyebrows for a bit of flair.

“Since when are you Italian?” Todd asks doubtfully.

“Since the situation requires it,” Charlie answers him, and slings an arm around the boy’s bony frame. “Come on now. The snow’s cleared up, and even if all that does is remind us how little grass grows on our campus, it means we can go into the woods again. I’ve been talking to the boys and we all agree that it’s time to dust off our finesse with literature. What do you say, Todd? You up for another rousing poetic exchange tonight?”

Todd jerks his head up and down in a hasty agreement. “Yeah. Neill’ be there?”

“Yeah, and me, and Knoxie, and everyone else you forgot to mention,” Charlie says in a tone of mock outrage. “God, you live with the guy, don’t you? Can’t you spare some excitement for the rest of us, too?”

Todd rolls his eyes, and finds the grace to elbow Charlie in the ribs. “Spare me the self-indulgence, Dalton. I’m glad to see all of you.”

“Don’t I know it,” Charlie affirms. “It’s been a while since we were all together, yeah?”

Todd blows out a low breath as they walk back towards the halls. It has been a long time, or it felt that way, at least. After the– after the incident after the play, in which Neil was found in his father’s study with a gun in his hands about to blow the trigger, it was decided that all of the pupils of Welton Academy would go home for a short period of time to clear their heads and come back ready to face the end of term. 

Mainly, Todd thinks it was so rumors couldn’t spread about just what happened with Neil Perry to take him out of school, and he’s glad for it. Neil doesn’t deserve to have everyone whispering about what happened to make him decide that the best thing for his life was to end it. Neil deserves the world, and none of them could give it to him.

That was the worst part of it all, Todd decides. The guilt, how it wrapped around him in wires as strong as the heaviest chains of iron. He couldn’t escape it. If he was really Neil’s friend, he would have known. If he was really Neil’s friend, Todd could have stopped him. If he was really Neil’s friend, Todd wouldn’t have found out about the attempt the next morning, quietly awoken from drowsy sleep by a Charlie Dalton with eyes like a stricken soldier as he lurchingly informed Todd that Neill Perry had tried to kill himself the night before. And none of them had known. And when his father had taken the gun away, Neil fought and screamed for it, worse than he did when he tried to convince his parents that he wanted to act, louder than he protested that he would be sent away to military school.

And then they were alone. At home. The worst place for boys to be. Should you grieve the friend who is not dead? Do you call each other on the phone, and ask if you have been playing any sporting games with other boys your age, or if you have given any thought to the fact that your friend might not have wanted to die if you had praised him more in class, or clapped louder when he performed, or said something– anything– to this beautiful, brittle boy?

They don’t say any of that. They think it quite loudly, but unspoken thoughts do not travel well over the telephone. The flittering ghosts of would-be words tend to get lodged in the coils of wire from receiver to housing, across the street and over the miles of terrain until they reach the abode of the boy on the end, who also has a lot to say but won’t. And then they both stay silent. And they both know exactly what the other wanted to say anyway. That is how friendship works.

They came back, though. Welton sent out a series of letters to usher back the pupils, even had its secretaries working overtime to call the people who never seem to answer their mail. There was another rush of cars and luggage to the dorms, and then they were settled in again. Todd had wondered if he might be assigned another roommate– anyone other than Cameron, God, but preferably Neil still– and then the door had opened quietly and Neil was there again, trying for a brave smile, and saying, “Todd?” in a voice that had once rung pure and true through a theater that loved him.

Todd loves him for it. He’d embraced Neill with open arms, felt the air punch out of his lungs in one strike, but it came back. He came back. They were alright again, sort of. They might be alright in time, but time is what they have.

Now they’ve all been waiting for the snow to melt, and treading on thin ice around topics they don’t dare broach. Neil has been a good sport, never making them feel awkward for wanting to treat him like a china doll. He was good before, too, though, and– It gets hard to tell sometimes, that’s all. Hard to tell when he genuinely is unbothered and when he’s superbly good at pretending otherwise. They stick to safer subjects anyway.

At last, though, the ground is firm, the weather not terrible, and Charlie’s gone and rallied the troops for a night out there. At first, Todd’s first instinct is to panic. They aren’t supposed to be having any more meetings of the Dead Poets Society, not since Keating was the scapegoat for all the trouble and everyone cracked down on what makes a good boy want to escape, but over time he realizes that it’ll be alright. Some things are worth the risk. Making Neil smile again is one of them.

They meet at midnight. Todd sits awake with bated breath, even though the act by itself isn’t even all that unusual. They’re teenage boys. Staying up until the moon hangs high and lofty in the sky is expected, not uncommon. Still, a delicious shiver of inherent wrongdoing whispers down his spine when Neil walks slowly into the center of their shared dorm room and says quietly, reverently, “It’s time.”

As if the others had been waiting upon that very proclamation, the remaining boys peer out into the hall immediately after Neil and Todd silently close their door behind them. Their eyes meet with shared secrecy, shared triumph, and they make their way down the wooden stairs and out into the bristling chill of night. The stars are out tonight. We are all out tonight.

They all start heading out into the woods. Charlie takes off like a flash at the end of a matchstick, hurtling at a runner’s sprint across the hills, and the others follow him at varying speeds. Todd begins walking at a normal clip until it occurs to him that he doesn’t see enough heads bobbing around him and he turns to see Neil hesitating by the door.

They lock eyes, and Todd sees a whole host of things swimming in brown irises, fear and apprehension and a sick sort of guilt that makes Todd’s stomach squirm in sympathy. He gives Neil one last moment over the threshold, then jerks his head towards the others, putting a little faux arrogance into the gesture in the hopes that an actor might appreciate an act in someone else and remember what it is like to trust oneself again.

Neil accepts the move and grins, his teeth flashing in the moonlight. “I’ll race you to the caves,” he calls, and begins to run, his footsteps sure and strong.

Todd stares after him, an astronomer watching his first comet, then takes off after him. The grass is dry and quick under his feet, spread out under each footstep like the wake of a speedboat. The wind, already coarse, pulls at Todd’s skin, his hair, his clothes, but not even the strongest gusts could keep him down. Somehow, he’s already to the edge of the forest, and he lets out a loud, delighted whoop. A barbaric yawp, if you will. Somewhere in the back of Todd’s mind, a dark-haired man in a comfortable brown sweater smiles indulgently, and chalks up another small victory to the wonders of poetry.

The second his war cry leaves Todd’s throat, the other boys swarm him like moths to a flame. Someone claps a hand over his mouth, and around him, laughs echo into the crunching of leaves underfoot. 

“Don’t be so loud, you’ll get the professors on us in no time,” someone admonishes, but then a different boy cuts in, “Don’t be stupid, we’re far enough out that we can all be shouting,” and Todd’s punishment is lifted and he can yell once more. His defender– Neil, it must be, no one else can make their voice ring with glory like that in just a few words– joins in in the triumphant calls, and then they’re all shrieking up to the stars above, here we are, not boys and not men, bold enough to scream and young enough to never listen.

Todd thinks, as they run through the forest, that it’s been a while since he let himself go free. He hasn’t listened to his mind in a long time, hasn’t let the words roll around in his brain, loose marbles of similes and paraphrased poems. His musings are dusty, dark things most of the time, but sometimes the light catches them just right and they glow like sapphires. He could write a thousand stanzas if he wanted to, right now, and everyone would listen.

The Dead Poets Society reaches the caves and a hush falls among the crowd. Slowly, they edge inside, eyes wide. The rock faces and crumbling caverns should be different, Todd thinks, something should mark the passage of time and all the awful things that have twisted their fates since the last time they sat together and thought of prose, but the stones still look as they did the last time they were here. The moss grows in familiar patterns, albeit a little thicker in certain patches now that it hasn’t been scuffed by boots in a month or so, but one of Charlie’s magazines that he forgot to take back with him turns up under some spiderwebs, and Todd’s favorite place to sit is still just as inviting. Maybe, then, the only thing that changed was them. Maybe that’s all that needs to happen.

“So?” Meeks asks, settling into a seat, “What are we doing tonight?”

“Poetry, duh,” Charlie answers him, rolling his eyes fondly. “We’re the Dead Poets Society. What else would we do, peruse our textbooks?”

This earns him a vengeful swat on the shoulder from Meeks, but even Charlie can admit that the question was fair. They’ve read plenty of poems, they’ve written a few, they’ve even gone off and run some improv limerick challenges, although Todd notes that they haven’t brought nearly enough alcohol for that tonight.

After a few moments’ thought, someone suggests a play. It might be Todd. Instantly, the idea is accepted, and roles are divided out. They’ll be doing Hamlet, since there are plenty of long sticks outside and everyone is quite fond of the idea of pretending to run each other through. Pitts is already practicing his death rattles, except he’s not very good at it, and it sounds more like he’s hacking up a lung or two.

Neil, though, is glowing at the idea, and even though they haven’t got any scripts so everyone is mostly just planning on paraphrasing the hell out of one of William Shakespeare’s finer works, Todd gets the idea that Neil has a few memorized soliloquies rattling around in his head already.

Good, then. They’ll enjoy tonight, and the next night they’re out here, and the one after that, too. It has been a very long winter, but Todd has caught his first glimpse of new spring, and he gets the feeling that warmer, sunnier days aren’t the impossibility they seemed a few weeks ago. The days are healing, and they will too. And so the Dead Poets come back to life.

requested by @reinekes-fox, i hope you enjoy!

dead poets society tag list: @faerieroyal

all tags list: @wordsarelife

[rrcenic]

on graduation night, todd sees neil in a dream. it’s not the first time, but it is the only instance where neil isn’t simply part of a plot. he just…stands there. and todd knows. he knows this is as close as he will ever get to saying goodbye.

and yet, neil does not speak. it’s strange, the usually bubbly boy doesn’t say a word. and todd screams, and pleads, “i love you, i love you, say anything, please”

and when todd has yelled himself hoarse, he sits. and neil sits. and todd stares, and whispers.

“i’m sorry”

and finally, neil raises his head.

“why?”

todd laughs, rough and wet.

“i’m sorry that i wasn’t enough to keep you here.”

and he knows. he knows it’s just a dream. but oh god, when neil cups his cheek, he can feel it. he can feel the warmth and the rough fingertips and the indent of the small mole on neil’s inner arm.

“todd. todd, my love. this was never your fault”

and todd is angry. angry at himself, because he believes this dream-ghost-hallucination neil. he trusts him. because how could he not?

“i am proud of you. i am proud of everything about you. i am proud of who you are becoming.

i love you, todd anderson. do you know that?”

todd wakes with a start, and for a minute, he is confused. where is neil? why isn’t he there, in the bed beside him?

and it hits him. and he cries. as he has cried every night, and will cry every night. sobs shake his body, doubled over in bed.

15 years later, in the dedication of todd anderson’s first published book of poetry, there is a dedication.

to neil- i have never doubted your love. not once. i miss you every day

[smoosnoom]

where we lay our scene

“No reason,” Neil bluffs. He chews on his cheek. “I just had a question. That’s all.” “Oh,” Todd replies, a little mumbled. He yawns. “What was it?” Neil stares up at the ceiling. Carpe diem, and all that, he thinks. The sentiment feels a little too large to carry. He asks, “Have you ever been in love?”

Neil auditions for a play, accidentally reads a poem, and falls in love – not necessarily in that order.

[waitinbythephone]

started making it. had a breakdown. bon appetit.

archiveofourown.org/works/53261074

[sillym14]

hiii i have recently been very upset about todd and neil from dps because they didnt like kiss in the movie, im not really an expert in fanfictions since i dont really read them but if you have any reccomendations that would be awesome since i want to feed my delusions of them being in love you know (i dont really care what type of story it is but i kind of like the slowburn types where they dont just jump into the relationship)

[cowboylexapro]

woo 20th fic 🥳🥳 either posting something sad or horny as 20th fic celebration thing

[inahallucination]

au where kid! anderperry get “married” at the park at some point 

but they lose contact 

until todd comes to welton and neil sees him and remembers him and blurts out “my husband????”

but the rest of the poets dont know wtf hes talking about so theyre flabbergasted (well charlie does but he’s fueling the fire for the hell of it and acting betrayed that neil never told him he was married)

and it doesn’t occur to any of them, at least at first, that neil and todd are teenagers where and why would they be fucking married

anyway 

todd is flustered but he wont lie having random ppl do stuff for him becuz they think he’s their in law - even if only for a few days/weeks before common sense kicks in - if kinda nice

and horrible becuz anxiety but all of them have jumped in when a teacher has called on him so yay

[good--merits-accumulated]

in the absence of Things To Write i've been refining some snippets from the fair folk AU, so here's a prose-y update:

[pineapple-coffee-writes]

An unused paragraph from my Anderperry fanfic “Lovesick.” This would’ve been included in chapter 13 when Neil is telling Todd about his father’s funeral.

I 100% meant to include it, but I forgot I had it in my notes app! Oh well. I might include a version of it in a future chapter :)

[charles-simmons-fanfiction]

Rehearsing - Todd Anderson / Neil Perry

Description: It's raining, Todd is almost falling asleep, and Neil is reading his lines for his next play for the millionth time. [Fluff, 600 words]

It's canon that Todd helps Neil with practicing for his plays, so I wanted to write one these times in a warm/soft vibe. Wrote this one purely for comfort. Might write more fics like this. Just small moments of their lifes y'know. Feel free to make requests if you have any idea. Anyway, hope you enjoy it <3

Neil was rehearsing lines for his next play, again.

Todd could swear he knew all those lines back and forth by now. He didn't complain though, it was always nice to help with rehearsing. There was something special in seeing Neil this genuinely happy and excited with something. His happiness was contagious in a way.

"Parting is such a sweet sorrow..." He stamped his feet on the floor as he read the lines, something he always did whenever he was too excited or anxious.

"...that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow" Todd completed in his head, without saying anything. Sometimes, he would help by saying another's character's lines, so Neil could practice dialogues how they are. But for the most part, his "helping" was pretty much just keeping him company, listening to the lines and correcting him if needed.

If it wasn't raining, they would've done this outside. Next to the lake, probably. It's where they usually go. Not that it was all that bad staying inside for once. Todd was tired and their room could be small, but it could also be very cozy. The sound of the rain, slightly muffled by the window, just added to the feeling.

The clock showed 11:02. "It's not that late" Todd thought as he yawned, "There's still time to rehearse this scene at least five more times".

Outside it was already very dark, and the rain made it even harder to see anything. Todd watched as the drops of water on the window fell. Hugging his knees and leaned against the wall as he listened to Romeo and Juliet attentively, as if he hadn't already millions of times.

"Todd?"

"Hm?" He looked at his friend. His eyes obviously sleepy, while Neil's were wide awake.

"We can do this tomorrow if you're too tired," He suggested.

"No, there's no need to"

"You look like you'll fall asleep any second now" That was probably true. "I'm sure I can manage on my own"

"I know you can," Todd laid down, keeping his eyes open. He wasn't quite sure why he cared so much. He could simply go to sleep and let Neil keep practicing on his own, but for some reason he wanted to be awake with him. Everything felt so nice to just sleep it through.

Neil looked at him for a few moments, then got up from the desk he was sitting at. "Move over"

Todd sat up with a groan, giving space for Neil to sit next to him. After that, Neil lightly pulled him down, so Todd's head was laying on his lap.

"Hm?" His tone could be interpreted as either confusion or exhaustion. Or both of them.

"Sleep. I'll keep rehearsing" Neil said softly. And he did go back to what he was doing, repeating the lines quieter this time.

Todd took a few moments to process what he said and how comfortable he was. He let out a content sigh as he gave in to the tiredness.

He took one last glance at the actor close to him before closing his eyes. Neil's smile was so bright and Todd couldn't help but smile too as he tried to focus on Romeo and Juliet coming from the sweetest voice he had ever heard. The warm atmosphere making him even more comfortable and everything simply felt a bit better.

And as Neil's hands gently stroked his hair, soothing him, Todd started to fall asleep.

[giolovesyousm]

okay so I just discovered that chat gpt can write fanfiction...and for science I had to try, this is what it came up with

Comfort and angst.

Neil and Todd had always been close, even since their days at Welton Academy. As they grew older and went off to separate colleges, they still kept in touch, texting and calling each other frequently. But lately, something had changed between them. Neil couldn't quite put his finger on it, but whenever he talked to Todd, he felt a strange mix of comfort and angst.

One night, as they were catching up over the phone, Neil finally mustered up the courage to ask Todd about it.

"Todd, I don't know how to say this, but...I feel like something's different between us. Have you felt it too?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line before Todd finally spoke.

"I know what you mean, Neil. I've been feeling it too. It's like...I don't know, there's something we're both holding back."

Neil nodded, even though Todd couldn't see him. "Yeah, exactly. Like we're both afraid to say what's really on our minds."

Todd took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll start. Neil, I miss you. I know we talk all the time, but it's not the same as being able to see you in person, you know? And...I'm worried about you. You've been going through a tough time lately and I wish I could be there for you more."

Neil's heart swelled with emotion. He had been going through a rough patch, but he hadn't realized how much Todd cared until now.

"Todd, I miss you too. And...I'm scared. Scared of what the future holds, scared that I'll never be happy again. But talking to you always makes me feel better. You're my best friend, Todd. I don't know what I'd do without you."

There was a long pause before Todd spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper. "Neil...there's something else I need to tell you."

Neil's heart raced as he waited for Todd to continue.

"I...I love you, Neil. More than just a friend. I don't know when it happened or why, but I can't stop thinking about you."

Neil was stunned. He had never considered that Todd might feel that way about him, but now that he heard the words, it all made sense. He had always felt a special connection to Todd, but he had never dared to hope that it was anything more.

"Todd...I don't know what to say. I never thought of you in that way before, but now that you've said it, I realize that maybe I do feel the same way. I've been so caught up in my own head that I didn't even realize what was right in front of me."

There was a long silence as they both processed what had just been said.

"Neil...do you think we could...try this? See where it goes?"

Neil felt a smile spread across his face. "Yes, Todd. I want to try. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that I want to be with you."

They talked for hours more that night, laughing and crying and sharing their hopes and fears. And as they hung up, both of them felt a sense of comfort and angst. Comfort in knowing that they had each other, and angst in knowing that they had taken a step into unknown territory. But they were both willing to take that risk, because they knew that their love for each other was worth it.