#if youre neurotypical and straight

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 40

In a modern world, Geralt has been chatting online with a man named "Dandelion" for about four weeks now. They finally worked up the mutual courage to go out for a date... I R L... (shocked gasps from the imaginary audience)

Only, Geralt has been sat alone at the restaurant they agreed upon for about an hour and a half now. All his messages to Dandelion have been ignored. He doesn't want to hope something bad happened to him, but he also doesn't want to hope the man is fine and just decided to blow off Geralt and their date. But then he finally gets a call from Dandelion. "Hi! Geralt! Geralt, Right? I hit the right number? Listen- Um- I locked my keys in the car. I know it sounds like an excuse but it isn't! And the car fixer men can't come until tomorrow, so I was just going to hire an uber, but I can't find my wallet, and I doubt I have the money for it, for see, my darling white wolf, I may have splurged all my money on quite a lovely bouquet to bring you- Um- It's on my kitchen table-" (the sounds of a man clambering and stumbling through his own apartment) "-And so i was going to do the very embarrassing act of asking you to pay for my uber, even though you were already generous enough to offer to pay for the entire meal, and so I decided I'd think on it and try and find my wallet again after my shower, but see then I fell in the shower, and I- Well, to be honest, I think I might have broken my arm, um- I think I need a raincheck? And can I borrow money for an uber to the hospital? I'll pay it back, I swear!" Long story short, Geralt's first date with this 'Dandelion' guy he's had a massive crush on for weeks, is driving him to the hospital and checking him in. The worst part of it all is that Jaskier (Dandelion's real name*) is so charming, that Geralt can't even be upset about the whole situation. *Geralt soon learns that "Julian" is Jaskier's 'real' real name, when he ends up helping Jaskier write out his medical forms, but this is all just semantics.

[cookii-moon]

Introducing… the Perfectly Neurotypical Ninja!!!

(I had an idea and thought it’d be funny)

our first incredibly neurotypical ninja is…

✨ JAY! ✨

Has zero volume control whatsoever

He can NOT be quiet for the life of him

There is no way he doesn’t have some form of anxiety disorder

Like his entire panic and fear definitely seem like anxiety to me

Has a plushie he still sleeps with for comfort and is emotionally attached to (which is super real of him honestly)

Panic attacks

He DEFINITELY has hyperfixations

Have you just seen him in general

That one short where he just starts running around on the roof

Also that one time he and Kai were supposed to train and got distracted by competition (Actually this could probably apply to all the ninja because they do this type of thing all the time)

Got so hyperfixated on dancing games that he learnt how to dance

I don’t think he can sit still it just doesn’t seem possible to me

(I’m not a Jay fan so I can’t point to much else off the top of my head but we’re all in agreement there’s no way he’s neurotypical right?)

Okay never mind, our FIRSt neurotypical ninja is…

✨ COLE! ✨

Talks to himself. A lot.

No seriously he talks to himself so much

Professional school dropout

Gets along great with animals and people who don’t fit in

Probably has owned a pet. Or five. (Probably a cat or a reptile) (he came around to them eventually and now he loves them) (dogs are too energetic and loud)

Most likely has depression

Definitely has sensory issues there’s no way he doesn’t

That one time he nearly had a breakdown from being overwhelmed. (Points to core shorts)

Dislikes metaphors (canon)

Wears the exact same hoodie without fail in every single episode where he has to wear civilian clothing (I think it’s a comfort thing at this point)

Probably taught himself several different ninja things he had no need to learn (why can he fight with a sword and nunchucks when he never uses either of them outside of a single special) (this also applies to shields and staffs and throwing stars but those are at least practical)

He says it’s to prepare but really he did it for fun

Has somehow not discovered his ninja special interest yet

(he physically can’t do anything else it’s too boring) (even when he’s not ninjaing he needs to practice once a day minimum or else he explodes)

Dances when happy/excited (definitely not a stim)

Immediately starts telling Jay about dancing when he enters the contest in a very excited manner (definitely not infodumping)

Has caused several misunderstandings due to bad social skills (he can NOT read the room for the life of him)

His best friend is Jay.

(even if he’s not autistic there’s no way this guy is neurotypical.)

(these are not the actions of a neurotypical person we’re all in agreement of that right)

Whoops… uh…never mind…our FIRST!!!! Neurotypical ninja…

✨ NYA! ✨

Terrified of failure

Like it haunts her she does NOT want to fail she has an entire arc devoted to it

Has a hard time letting go of things (she holds grudges A LOT)

This also includes things of sentimental value like Samurai X

Change is difficult for her just in general

SUPER stubborn

Definitely has a schedule that she envisions in her head but forgets to tell everyone else

(that short where she planned to spend time with Jay but he was going to the arcade)

Short temper especially on bad days

The more I write this the more I realize how little characterization she actually gets for most of the series

Justice for Nya honestly

(I’m assigning her neurodivergence I don’t care how short this is)

(I think autistic. But spicy.)

(probably also anxiety or OCD)

(do you see the vision)

….Okay so maybe not that one either- Uh… our FIRST!!! Neurotypical !!! Ninja!!!

✨ KAI! ✨

Has anger issues. Probably.

Super impulsive

No like incredibly impulsive. Ultra impulsive.

Craves attention but has really bad self worth issues

Hinges his worth on his powers (not healthy)

Wanted to be useful so badly that he convinced himself he’d get powers if he drop kicked Garmadon (it did not work)

Did I mention anger issues

Wants to be useful so he can protect!!!

That one time he and Jay were supposed to be training and-

Has zero patience

(I don’t know what flavor of neurodivergent he is but he’s neurodivergent somehow)

(once again I don’t pay attention to Kai there’s definitely more)

…Okay so this time for sure. Introducing FOR SURE our FIRST neurotypical ninja….

✨ ZANE! ✨

Do I even need to say anything

The entire episode “Home”

Social skills

Taking things literal

That one canon (?) book where he apparently has flashbacks to the ice emperor (im calling OCD or PTSD on that one Zane)

Also that one time he locked away bad memories in decoded (decoded is canon to me and the reason for that is mainly because it actually references ghost Cole (iirc) which is a miracle)

Yeah I think he has PTSD

that one time he hyperfixated on and roleplayed as a detective and then a pirate

probably more. Maybe.

That one’s a robot he’s disqualified. The FIRST, FOR SURE, NO MISTAKES, neurotypical ninja is…

✨ LLOYD! ✨

The fact he apparently has so much of starfarer memorized that he can nearly win a quiz contest thingy and the only thing that stopped him from doing that was that he hadn’t read a brand new limited edition issue

starfarer in general he is not normal about starfarer

Way too trusting for his own good

I would be more surprised if he didn’t have some sort of disorder considering everything he’s gone through

hes got to have at least something related to his trauma right

(This one is way shorter because. Again. Not a Lloyd fan. but. I think the starfarer thing is enough to push him into probably not neurotypical territory.)

(most kids do not know the entire plot and all the fun facts to a long running comic book series by heart)

Are you kidding me none of them are neurotypical?

Okay ne- what do you mean the last one

there’s those ones over there!!!! *points to Arin, Sora and wyldfyre*

Oh wait they’re also neurodivergent?

…..uuuuugh shows canceled then…. Sigh… Guess I’ll start up the Incredibly Neurodivergent Ninja show instead.

(disclaimer this is a joke)

(but they are all neurodivergent that part isn’t)

[vaguely-concerned]

I am taking the fact that o'brien hung out with bashir in this lighting

for a whole episode, without it apparently stirring much in him other than maybe faint irritation, as proof that for all his other wonderful qualities our chief of operations really may be completely heterosexual

[licorishh]

So 1.6 is here and the Trailblaze continuance is interesting. Dr. Ratio is every bit as irritating and pompous as expected. I love him

Spoilers for the continuance quest in the tags cause y'all already know I gotta say something about this dude and it's about to get real neat

[essektheylyss]

Safety tools for games are very well and good and if you and your group need them you should absolutely use them, but sometimes the way people talk about them feels like they are using those tools as a straight-up substitute for, like, working to develop interpersonal skills and the capacity for talking openly with friends.

[girlbob-boypants]

Man i hope that person who said that Qun "being fascist" justifies saying racist things to ( the distinctly not Qun) Adaar kills. the part of them that thinks having an autistic hyperfixation makes them the arbiter of what is and isn't true about their favorite character.

[spencer-is-dead]

Man i hate being the only queer/liberal person in my family.

It’s exhausting when your parents look to you to see the ‘other side of the story’. When they want to know your political opinions. According to them, wanting trans people to be able to transition is political, and of course I’m the only way they can learn about these things because they simply don't know anyone else who understands.

the thing is, I don’t want to be political, I simply want me and my friends to live our lives peacefully without wanting to kill ourselves because some people in our country want to do it for us. Just because I spent so much time watching YouTubers and ‘becoming gay’ im suddenly an expert on the topic on whether or not trans women should be allowed in women’s sports. And when they ask me “If you don’t like trump who are you going to vote for?” I DONT FUCKING KNOW. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IM LITERALLY JUST A TEENAGER. I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT POLITICS.

Is it too much to ask to live in a world where nothing is political? Where simply saying ‘teachers should get paid more’ and ‘kids should be allowed to wear dresses if they want to’ is suddenly political. Is it wrong for me to not want to get into politics? And i cant simply choose to not get into politics because in this world literally everything is either an innuendo or politics.

Man I’m fucking tired of living like this

[crippledanarchy]

" the neurodivergent urge to watch children's media because everything else requires too much emotional labor"

At this point, they are just doing intentional word salad. Right?

[revvethasmythh]

reread The Post because I've been talking about and I am feeling the flames on the sides of my face again

[sunrise-of-wonder]

Can't stop thinking about the blorbos. Quietly but constantly swooning about Them and no one around me has any idea. Completely oblivious

[tepehkwi]

Of course you are anti-vegan and possibly a radfem. Not surprised with your bad takes. Comparing half of the world's population to white people who have colonized most of the world. Also who are you to dictate who is an anarchist and who isn't? You're just one of the people who think neurodivergencies and mental illnesses are just "in your head" and that they don't need to be analyzed and treated.

LMAO you literally do not know anything about me! block and move on, cunt!

[faaun]

i realised i never went clubbing w my friends all together before this point. just w random individuals etc

[beetrootbug]

can we just... talk about Wednesday? Because I don't know how to feel about it. I watched the show with little expectations in terms of the plot, and I personally ended up enjoying it, though many people have expressed their distain for it. i didn't like everything about it. It was a bit brain numbing i guess, since after watching it my brain was devoid of thought, which is why i was probably able to watch it without question. I usually pick stuff apart whilst i watch it, but i think I was just so determined to finish it I didn't pay as much attention. Final opinions are:

i enjoyed the cartoon-ish nature of the plot. It wasn't that serious and things were solved very quickly. As a writer, I should despise that. I adore writing books with complex plot points that are long winded and explained with care as to not info-dump but to provide the context needed. However, as a person with horrid fucking anxiety, I LOVE stupid stories with shitty easy to solve plots, such as the one present in Wednesday. It's easy to see what's coming and if an episode ends on a cliffhanger, I know for a fact that it will be solve in the next episode. I also tend to judge shows and movies in context to other shows and movies made by the same company. For example, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed Falcon and the Winter Soldier as I really didn't like the previous marvel movies and show. Of course falcon wasn't the best show in context to other pieces of media outside of marvel, but for a marvel show, it topped my standards. Wednesday is the same for me in terms of Netflix live actions reboots. I don't care what you think of the show Wednesday, you must agree it is better than the other live action reboots. I hate riverdale and i hate Winx fate saga, they are terrible, objectively and subjectively, they aren't good. Wednesday shocked me as it was better than both. This also plays into the other kind of shows that are on the rise: gritty shows with teenagers. Euphoria and the abhorrent Velma show, are disgusting inaccurate depictions of teenagers. Not to say teenagers don't do these things, it's just that it isn't presented correctly. Teens smoke, drink and fuck, we know this, I've heard shit, i've seen shit. But they do it immaturely. Teens are both children and adults. If they do adult things, they do it childishly, and vice versa. Wednesday had a relatively accurate depiction of teenagers (albeit a bit cartoony but it fits with the shows themes). So from that standpoint alone, it blew my expectations out the water.

Now to the stuff i didn't like about the show: the characters. Which is a massive part of the show of course. The characters were easier to stomach when i watched it because i simply liked the actors, but analysing the characters after, yeah, i don't like them that much. I liked Wednesday in the beginning, but towards the end, she wasn't as fun to watch. As far as what she does, she's very fun to watch and has to be the only who holds up well (kinda, i'll explain this later), the rest of the characters are kinda poorly written and become kinda unlikeable. I never thought i would say this, but I don't like Enid as much as I did when i started watching. Not from a "oh she's such a horrible person" but rather "oh, she's been written really poorly". That can be said about all the characters, including Wednesday towards the end. The messages the characters give the the audience is my main gripe with the show. Enid talks about how friends do stuff for friends, even without asking. "That's what friends do". This is stupid, it is. If your friend tells you not to do something, and you do it, you are betraying their trust. You don't know why your friend doesn't want you to do that, and they don't need to tell you, they'll tell you if they want to. You shouldn't assume things that your friend wants, especially if you don't know them well, like Wednesday's relationship with enid and the others. It's not a good message to spread as stuff like this is something autistic people and other nd people struggle with, this makes this line from enid to wednesday, a very nd/autistic coded character, much worse. A seemingly stupid request not to do something could have much deeper roots for an nd person. I got very mad at friend when she intentionally splashed me with water once. I had told her very explicitly not to splash me and explained that i hate getting wet when i'm wearing normal clothes as the texture is horrid and it would make me very cold. She continued to splash and my voice became more and more distressed. She ignored this, cuz duh, a little water never hurt anyone? But she eventually splashed me and i scolded her. I wasn't very cold nor wet, but it meant something else to me. She betrayed something i told her, and i even explained to her before hand why i didn't like it. So yeah it's stupid to most, but now i know i can't trust her with stuff like that, doesn't that seem a bit counterproductive to friendship. Wednesday was framed as a stuck up killjoy for not enjoying the birthday party she explicitly did not want, and yet i understand why. I think this is also a reason i liked this show; i liked wednesday, i related to her (kinda). She's not the Wednesday Addams character that she should be, but if you disconnect her from her roots (which you technically shouldn't since this is an adaptation) she's a fascinating character that could have had a lot more done with her.

So to end off: The plot is objectively bad, but a fun and easy watch. The characters are bad, but the main character is relatable yet lacking (which almost makes me wanna watch the next season because i want to see her expanded upon). She's fun by herself, but as a supposed wednesday addams adaptation, she falls completely flat of that title. Which is why i feel the show would have been better if it wasn't attached to wednesday. If it was just a show about ghouls going to school and the main character was an autistic coded character trying to survive among bullies while a murder mystery was being solved as a background plot, it would have been better. Think of it like a mix between monster high and gravity falls, heck it would have been nicer as a cartoon, though i did enjoy the visuals. I think wednesday should have had more conflicts with characters that actually hate her than just being a bitch to characters try to be nice. It's more forgiving in this context because wednesday is nd coded, but there has been a rise in the "everyone fucking hates me except no one hates me and everyone likes me" character archetype, like in the I am not starfire comic. It would have been nicer to see wednesday make a proper friend and in the mean time get back at actually horrible people, like bullies or bigots instead of people trying (and failing) to help her.

also TYLER AND XAIVIER SHOULD HAVE BEEN BOYFRIE-

[ziracona]

Incredible just how much more people liked me for including, and valued my inclusion of, the disabilities/queer/neurodivergent stuff I wrote before they knew I was those things myself.

[weareuniqueandimportant]

THAT IS OKAY TO DO ANYTHING THERE IS AS LONG AS YOU'RE AUTISM... THAT IS INDEED A NOTHING BAD HAPPENS TO YOU CARD... REMEMBER... THAT IS WOKE AND PROGRESSIVE TO DISTURB PATHETIC NEUROTYPICAL WASTE TRYING TO CREATE RULES... WE ARE AUTISM... WE ARE BETTER THAN ANYONE...

[koushuwu]

listen— me trying to find something to make for dinner is always a literal nightmare. because it needs to be vegetarian, quick and easy enough that my exhausted adhd ass can manage it (aka anything more than 5 steps and i just can’t do it) and be suited to a picky eater. oh and also cheap. because i do not get paid enough to live alone, jfc. man i wish that pasta and my vegan dressing was a suitable meal for every day of the week. but alas.