#iii did not mean to write an essay but when i get given a task god knows im going to deepdive into ancient greek bullshit and come back up

[quillheel]

sleep meme / hermes & patroclus.

tagged by: @nectaric thank u vvvvv much <33 !! tagging: @askganondorftobadragmire @jfouler @thetowermuse (for octavo or burgh?) @nerofcrte @mightiestbanana @lcngdays (for angel or beldane?) @vonerde @drachliebe @tenebriism (for zagreus or yusuke?)

type of bed. hermes has adapted to a great many of different beds, and perhaps unlike some of his more luxury inclined brethren, he's really not picky beyond the surface being relatively clean & solid enough to support his weight. His chosen place of rest at his home, however, when he has the time to sleep there, is a klinē, a type of bed / couch often used for banquets ( symposia ). it's often considered a more luxurious piece of furniture, especially for the heroised, but he's never cared about little things like that. it's comfortable and easy on the legs, and that's all that really matters for him.

number of blankets. none, usually! the ichor in his veins, half brother to Apollo & son of Zeus, results in him almost always kept warm enough despite his light clothing. It does effect him, certainly, but it's never enough to bother with weighing himself down over. he prefers the speed & ease of getting up quickly without the blanket ( as well as disliking the pressure on his wings ) more than he dislikes the weather effecting him.

number of pillows. usually only one or two at home, though his usual default is using his messenger bag as one, or stealing a bundle of hay to act as a quick & easy one. his preferred pillow, if it can be helped, tends to be people instead. be it lover, friend, family, he sleeps best with them as a cushion ( plus, it's an easy method to be annoying if he so chooses <3 )

type of clothing. hermes often just wears his usual chiton, not even bothering to remove his boots usually, though sometimes he does sleep nude! he considers it more comfortable but usually can't be assed

does it matter where they sleep? not in the slightest! Hermes will sleep anywhere, in barns or branches, floor or rafters, bed or not, he's never been the type to hold himself to a high-and-strict standard when it comes to where he rests, no holy ground to hold his body when anywhere works fine, especially when its so fleeting when he ever needs to at all. he'd rather rest among his brethren than act as though above.

what do they do if they cannot fall asleep?  oftentimes, just get back to work! there's always something to do across the world, Olympus and underworld, always something to carry, always something to say. though, it's very rare for Hermes to be unable to sleep unless something is really weighing him down, often regarding those close to him. if he doesn't feel like working, he'll often busy himself with company. it's very rare for anyone to turn down a God when they come to visit.

frequent dreams, nightmares. Hermes does not dream often. he jokes, maybe taunts, that the Oneiroi can't catch him. when he does dream, they're prophetic and intense, violent. they're not dreams at all, so much as they're an unconscious world pungent with the intention to tell him something, communication in the harshest senses, thick with burning and herbs and a thousand different prophecies, a million different secrets. how cruel it is, to be privy to such worlds as those, in the lines between the dead & the living. how often he is tasked with carrying ones of his own.

deep slumber or naps? Naps! Hermes does not sleep often whatsoever, so often he gets away with small naps, usually not even bothering to lie down. Though, when he DOES sleep properly ━ usually alongside someone else or in his own home ━ he sleeps deep, sometimes for 2 days or longer. only once every couple months, does it feel like the gaps of communication in the world go silent, like a network gone dead, an almost visible tension for the mortal world. a brief glimpse of the state without Hermes, no one to carry voices, no one to carry prayers. no one can do it like he can, and no one ever will.

when do they sleep? he sleeps whenever he pleases, mostly, when he does sleep that is.

what could wake them up? when napping, Hermes is VERY easy to wake up, but when he's sleeping more properly it depends heavily on who it is trying to. if a fellow God or divine entity attempts it, it's almost impossible bar stabbing him in the chest or otherwise doing major harm to him, but he answers, unhesitatingly, to prayers. he will not answer his godly kin, but he will answer, unfailingly, to his mortal brethren. you do not need to wake him; he will always come.

type of bed. Patroclus was accustomed to a great many makeshift beds in his lifetime, be it more lovingly constructed ones, ones he made himself ( often quickly, not bothering for a great deal of effort for a great deal of time he just couldn't spare ), or the ground itself. His most commonly used one would be a portable mattress made of cloth and stuffed with wool and Aegina bird's feathers, a gift from his grandmother: a nymph of that island, a labor of care of which he'd rely upon during the war. during his time within his own home & in Elysium, he'd likely have been offered to sleep upon Klinai, but very often would trade his bed to someone else, often the women of his home, for him to instead sleep on the floor. He still does, lying in the fields of Elysium, only restless greets him: for the dead cannot sleep, and he, always too weighted, to rest.

number of blankets. usually he used his himation as one, as was standard practice. when needed, he'd also use a sheep-skin blanket to fight off the cold, one he'd offer to his fellow soldiers often who didn't have their own.

number of pillows. none, usually. sometimes, especially if he was wounded, he'd accept or make makeshift ones for himself ( usually stuffed with grass or worn straw ) before giving them to others when he didn't need them anymore. This practice of going without continues in Elysium, despite the array of velvets offered always to him.

type of clothing. it varies. there'd been many times in Patroclus' life where he'd fall asleep in his armor, often midway through dismantling it from his person when exhaustion won over him, where Achilles would have to carefully, skillfully, strip it off of him before lying him to rest properly, good sleep eternally a valuable resource in limited supply. same going for him simply sleeping in his day-clothes, as long as they weren't dirty from the work. though the most often trend was only bothering to wrap himself in spare pinned cloth that'd last as a substitute for night-clothes until his usual clothes were clean and dry for the next morning. Patroclus never is dirtied in Elysium, and never sleeps, so he never changes. To do so would be taking energy from a pool that is always too shallow to drink from

does it matter where they sleep? yes and no. the quality of his sleep is effected, and he'll often struggle more to fall asleep when resting in places too quiet or too in anticipation of something ( his home & the tents often falling into either or both ), but he could still fall asleep there. he often felt most comfortable near rivers or the sea, the sound of moving water. he'd call it a gift from Achilles, to be so peaceful there, when he was borne from it. Thetis, never a guardian here, but never an enemy. it was all Patroclus could ask of her, in the way he did not ask at all, feeling unfit to.

what do they do if they cannot fall asleep?  busies himself with other restless souls or with things to improve, tasks to do under the quiet of night, or doing them as Achilles sleeps nearby providing them to be quiet enough. He'd often find circles of other restless soldiers and sit with them, talking softly through the night, as he worked at his armor or something other. he often felt guilty, when Achilles would awake without him there and go searching, unable to find it in himself to wake him for such small pains as his lack of rest. in Elysium, he is always awake, and prefers to be alone, which is to say, he has never enjoyed being alone, but he chooses it regardless, as it was chosen for him.

frequent dreams, nightmares. his dreams always were a mix of signs given to him in empty messages. the effort to say something to him each time he dreamed, but full of empty shapes to fill the air alongside it, as though to cloud what vision was intended for him to see. his nightmares, often and unrelenting, he believed to be the distilled versions of these signs attempted to be communicated to him turned angry and forceful with their lack of acknowledgement, turning to a curse to bare instead. he'd apologize to Achilles as a vessel to the gods after waking, often not realizing he had at all. the apology for something not his fault.

deep slumber or naps? Patroclus has always been a relatively light sleeper, so napping has often been difficult for him on top of the desire he has to stay conscious incase he's needed, leading to him often only sleeping instead out of simple exhaustion

when do they sleep? when night falls, usually if he can help it, though sometimes he winds up sleeping at dawn.

what could wake them up? a small shake or a loud enough recital of his name is usually enough to do it, though he often wakes with a jolt, anticipating the worst even in his unconsciousness

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING MOVES

And conditions in our niche are really quite different. In a specialized society, most of the surprises. A lot of research is hacking that had to be crammed into the form of Demo Day, where the current group of startups present to pretty much every investor in Silicon Valley, where you can't go to your boss, but directly to the customers for whom your boss is only a small component of fame. The ideal medium seemed the short story, which I've since learned had quite a brief life, roughly coincident with the peak of magazine publishing. To take an extreme example, consider math. The closer you can get close. To benefit from engaging with users you have. How can I write this such that if people saw my code, they'd be amazed at how little there is and how little it does?

We had the opportunity to raise a lot more interested. You can block off several hours for a single task if you need to, but by designing a new kind of animal that has moved into it. That's no problem for someone on the maker's schedule are willing to compromise. By putting you in this situation, to realize what was happening and to milk it.1 The venture capital business is pretty incestuous, and there were presumably people in a position where your performance can make or break it. One of the hardest parts of doing a startup was like I said, I worked on Microsoft Office instead of I work at a cool little company or research lab, you'll do better to go off and work with a small group, and leverage from developing new techniques. But high school students? And if you want to go to the meeting.2 They're just promising to do what we do. If you have an empty slot in your schedule, why not start the type with the most potential? Can you afford the loss in productivity that comes from making the company bigger?3

I was downstairs in the Harvard Square T Station. But you don't have to know physics to be a distinct, inferior, sort of thing to store-bought ones. I'm talking to companies we fund? One way to answer that is to ask yourself at what point you'd bet against it.4 In existing open-source projects. For the next fifty years, I want to work a a lot b on hard problems. So it's not surprising that so many want to take the VCs' money? Few people can experience now what Darwin's contemporaries did when The Origin of Species was first published, because everyone now is raised either to take evolution for granted, or to answer some question. Clothes are important, as all nerds can sense, though they may not realize it consciously.5 The leading edge of technology moves fast. You don't have to remember everything you've said in the past century.

At this point we have two options, neither of them good: we can meet with them, like microprocessors, power plants, or passenger aircraft. When we first started. But we're not these people's bosses. Money to grow faster is always at the command of the most promising path. Why do founders want to take.6 Plus you have to charm them. And they're hard to reach, because they only get paid if they build the winner. They're so earnest and hard-working.7 Late stage investors supply huge amounts of money and everyone left. If you plan to start a startup, your competitors decide how hard you have to work with existing programs, and this essay is about only one of them. I'm sorry to treat Larry and Sergey as one person.

There is, as I said before, is a dangerously misleading example. But recently I realized we can also attack the problem downstream. Bad as things look now, there is no way to make them better, but that the work they're given is pointless, and they worry that they'll have less leverage over the founders if the founders have any money. But that is not an obviously bad name is a sufficiently good one, and you think Oh my God, they know. From what we've seen, being good seems to help startups in three ways: it improves their morale, it makes other people want to help you. So let the path grow out the project. But it worked so well that we plan to do all our investing this way, you wonder why anyone would think there was. It was pretty advanced for the time. Wealth has been getting created and destroyed but on balance, created for all of human history.8

Notes

It would be to ask for more than one level of links. At one point in the US News list? Basically, the world in verse, it was more because they couldn't afford a monitor.

Enterprise software—and in fact they were to work with the definition of important problems includes only those on the richer end of World War II the tax codes were so new that it's no longer play that role, it often means the investment community will tend to use a restaurant as a result, that he could just expand into casinos than software, because it is still what seemed to us. I now have on the parental dole, and anyone doing due diligence tends to be more selective about the right to buy it. To get a false positive rates are untrustworthy, as it needs to, in the long term than one who shouldn't? 66, while Columella iii.

Einstein, Princeton University Press, 2006.

When governments decide how to distinguish between gravity and acceleration.

But one of the hugely successful startups get on the parental dole, and philosophy the imprecise half. Because we want to measure how dependent you've become on distractions, try this thought experiment works for nationality and religion as a separate feature. 1% in 1950 have been the losing side in debates about software startups are simply the embodiment of some power shift due to the size of the corpora.

In technology, companies that an eminent designer is any better than their lifetime value, counting users as active when they're on the y, you'd see a lot of people who are all about big companies have little to bring to the frightening lies told by older siblings.

In the early adopters. People seeking some single thing called wisdom have been the general manager of the technically dynamic, massively capitalized and highly organized corporations on the parental dole for life.

The first assumption is widespread in text classification. Quite often at YC. Paul Buchheit for the same work, like languages and safe combinations, and this is mainly due to the rich have better opportunities for education.

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, Sam Altman, Sarah Harlin, and Dan Giffin for putting up with me.

[angeltriestoblog]

Unnecessary life update

i.

I have officially made it to the halfway point of this quarter. And I don’t mean to sound morbid but I didn’t expect to at all!

It’s just that I’ve recently learned that chronic sleep deprivation actually does lead to premature death and I’ve slept at three in the morning everyday since I started online schooling. (Though actual scientific evidence has always been available on the Internet, I found it easier to believe that this was a hoax.) But concerning as it may be, the past two weeks have been so demanding of my time and energy, resting didn’t seem like an option.

ii.

Much to the dismay of Freshman Angel, most organizations in Ateneo require an interview as part of the application process. I remember signing up for three departments in my home org back then: I sweated my way through one screening, completely flunked the other, and ghosted the last. I also applied to be part of our hosting pool and made a run for it at the last minute: despite having spent only two weeks on campus, I easily found a secret passageway leading to the nearest exit just so that I wouldn’t have to run into the officer in charge of my audition.

Given the unfortunate display of cowardice, it’s hard to believe that this year, I found myself on the other side. I conducted several ICs (rebranded to individual conversations) in an attempt to welcome freshmen, give them a picture of what awaits them in ACTM, and hopefully serve as one of their first friends, if I built enough rapport with them. 

The week after, I had to conduct interviews and screen all hopefuls who wanted to make it into my department. I only spoke with 13 of them through a screen but I had to go through three times more application forms, interview footage, and assessments to determine who would make it to our final line-up. One night, I binge-watched the recordings of all the interviews I conducted in chronological order and I didn’t know if I found my waning energy levels depressing or funny. Toward the last few, I refused to turn on my camera because I had gotten a sudden allergy attack.

iii.

And as if the load I bear as an associate vice president in ACTM wasn’t heavy enough, I joined five other orgs last recruitment week. I wouldn’t go and call the quarantine a blessing because I’m not an asshole but these past few months have made me realize that I want to do and be so many things in life and I missed the opportunity to start on them earlier, since I spent the first few years of college hanging around with no end goal in mind. So in a fit of impulsiveness, I signed up for:

The Development Society of the Ateneo, where I will be working either as an advocacy or consultancy trainee under the research and development department (depends on how my interview this Thursday fares);

Ateneo Education Geared Towards Empowerment, where I will be gathering data from our partner communities to help the organization provide quality education given the online setting;

Ateneo Association of Communication Majors, where I will be under the research and development department yet again of MIRLab, their documentary production house;

Ateneo PEERS, where I will be part of a peer support program intended to help in my self-improvement, and that of others as well;

Project Kabuhayan, where I will be participating in initiatives geared towards empowering micro, small, and medium enterprises

I had general assemblies for most of them: had to ditch two for a midterm, and will be watching the recordings tomorrow. I didn’t even have to talk in any of them; simply watch the officers speak about their projects for the year then head on over to my designated breakout room. But the mere idea of being perceived by hundreds of Zoom call participants was already enough to drain my social battery.

iv.

To top it all off, my major tasks for all three subjects I’m taking this quarter were due last Friday. I had a group podcast for Philosophy class which we had to shoot twice on the busiest day of my week. I wanted nothing more than to get it over with, so when we wrapped up our first attempt, we were ready to let it go through some rushed post-production and submit it without giving it a second look. But I couldn’t stomach the thought of submitting subpar work when the task is supposed to be easy, given enough discipline.

Another group I was a part of had a marketing plan (you’ll never guess which subject it was for) that proposed the rebranding of Adidas Originals to cater to an older target market, or “the active ageing”, as we liked to call it. We only found out a couple of hours before the deadline that our professor was not accepting anything over 10 pages just when we had hit the 40-page mark. All of our well-researched, comprehensive parts had to be cut down significantly, which was the equivalent of flushing many sleepless nights down the drain.

And of course, I had a case study and midterm to accomplish for Law. The minute I received the message confirming the submission of my answers, I plopped down on my bed and napped. Later on that night, I released all the pent-up tension in me by going on my first ever e-numan. I never got the logic behind drinking alcohol in front of my computer: I always thought it was a sad attempt to replicate the bustling nightlife of Katip or the intimate energy of barkada chillnumans in condominiums. But I guess all I needed was the right company, and some sweet-tasting Novellino.

Anyway, before this turns into a full-on advert for a brand that isn’t even sponsoring this post, let me move on.

Reading that probably exhausted you. As the one who had to live through all that, I can tell you: it was even more hectic than you think. Before this pandemic was a thing, my schedule was clear-cut. I could tell the days of the week apart, and appreciate the endless possibility brought by Friday evenings. I could wake up at eight on Saturday morning, smile to myself because of how early it is, and go back to sleep without any feelings of guilt.

Now, the line that separates work and home has been completely obliterated. The Internet promotes that I have to be at the top of my game all the time. Every moment spent in rest and recreation is a moment wasted when there’s so much to do, always somewhere to be even if I’m technically not allowed to leave the comfort of my own home. 

I would sometimes report to my friends that I threw my circadian rhythm out the window, which would be met with the same well-meaning outcries. “What the hell! Drop all your commitments! Pace yourself! Sleep early!”. I think they know by now that this often falls on deaf ears. Ironically, whenever I observe or hear of friends falling into the same patterns as me, I’m often one of the first to reprimand. I sentence them to early bedtime like a stressed suburban mother of two, and check in on them constantly to see if they’re doing alright. I tell them not to pressure themselves to perform at their very best, while working myself to the bone, writing this ~2,000 word essay at half past two in the morning.

But one conversation I had with one of my friends stood out. He told me how proud he was of me: that even if I’m so busy juggling so many things, it all pays off in the end because I’m genuinely happy and fulfilled. I get to see the fruits of my labor and share it with the world.

Which is so true. I honestly enjoy the success that comes from this hyperproductivity, and take pride in the output that I manage to churn out. I’m willing to give up hours of sleep if it means getting to do what will help me make my pipe dreams a reality, or create something that sets my soul on fire.I don’t mind going out of my comfort zone if it’s to talk to new people who have the potential of being some of my greatest friends in the future, or advocating for causes that I’m passionate about. 

In fact, I am so willing to prolong my period of working to welcome the new members of my department or create even more articles to talk about pressing cultural phenomena. It will be hard as hell while the sacrifice is still ongoing but I always know that it will lead to something greater and bigger than I am. 

Besides, when I feel like I can no longer take it, I don’t think I’ll have it in me to force myself. It might not look like it but I am afraid of the serious health risks and will try to slot in more time for sleep if need be. But I have no plans of backing out of anything right now since I’m still on top of everything. Guess I’m fueled by a genuine desire to give/be/do as much as I can, while I still can. 

v.

Where did this post even go, honestly… This was supposed to be a simple life update, complete with a pop culture recommendation to supplement my experiences. I did not expect it to spiral the way it did so now I have no idea how to transition from one part to the next in a way that isn’t entirely awkward. Oh well.

I managed to preserve my sanity these past two weeks by listening to only one artist. Anyone who follows me on Spotify must think that their Friend Activity tab is glitching but the rumors are indeed true: I have been listening to chosen songs from The Boyz’ discography on a constant loop, like an actual zombie. Count on me to get into a new K-Pop group during the busiest week of the quarter as a coping mechanism.

I was an anti of this group when they first debuted because they are home to a former Produce 101 contestant whom I hated. (Still do, up to now. Don’t know how to reconcile my conflicting feelings.) So you could say I was heavily biased from the start and refused to give them a chance. Thankfully, one of my best friends recently converted after watching them on Road to Kingdom and sent me some of their performances to reel me in. Since I am a girl with a working brain and pair of eyes, I was easily impressed. When they came back recently with The Stealer, I officially fell and made no active efforts to get up.

If there are any Deobis reading, (1) congrats, you are a person of taste; (2) please be my friend. My current favorite songs other than their latest title track are No Air, I’m Your Boy, and Break Your Rules. I’ve also started most mornings with their Danger live stage. Who needs caffeine when you have acrobatic stunts and good-looking men?

I also have a lot of exciting things coming up, which I just felt the need to share:

I’m going to be a panelist at a talk for Developh, an organization I’m a part of which leverages technology for social good. This Friday, October 16th, I’ll be joining three brilliant go-getters from different fields to talk about my internship at makesense Philippines (which warrants another blog post) as well as my experience as a freelance writer. 

I have a couple of published pieces in the pipeline right now that I absolutely cannot wait to share! I honestly think they’re some of my favorites. Over the past few weeks, I have written about Internet study communities, the Subtle Asian Dating Facebook group, and unpaid internships. I’ve also pitched a couple more to my bosses and they’ve given me the green light at the same time so yes, once again, I am running on tight deadlines.

I’ll be applying for internships once this quarter is over and I’m already considering a couple of start-ups as good prospects. I’m making my personalized CVs for each company and saving the contact details of the designated point people in a neat little Notion spread for easy access.

Feels weird to end this post with stay safe and healthy, and don’t forget to rest. Maybe I’ll just make that a note to self.

Love and light,

Angel

[mirolovejoyteplitzky]

‘ARM’ History as a Field & Method of Photographic Research w/ Teemu - 23/10/19

Today we looked at how using history to approach, analyse and deconstruction images can be an extremely in depth and use method to take. 

Task: what does historical research mean and how can it change our understanding of an image?

Historical research is looking at not only the surrounding set of circumstances of an event or period, but the series of events that lead up to its occurrence and the consequences from its actions. History, in essence, tells (generally speaking or in great detail) a mixture of facts and subjective accounts of a time in a certain place in the past. What then does it mean to look at photography and images using the method of historical approach. As Teemu noted in the lecture, the answer to this comes in many different shapes and forms. Images and history have an intertwined relationship and both feed one another. We can get as much from history by looking at an image as we can get from an image by looking at history; it is a two way relationship. 

The strength of historical context within an image is that it can unpack and allow us to understand so much more than simply what is within the frames. An excellent example of this, which was looked at in the lecture, is Eugene Atget’s image:

The image on its own can be somewhat critically analysed in its relationship to the city of Paris and how it once looked and the comparison to its present condition. However, when researching the period of Paris’ history, as well as Atget’s own history we are able to draw extremely important contextual information. The real narrative behind this image lies within Atget’s own reason for capturing it. This being that he decided to immortalise ‘Old Paris’ as it came under severe modernisation. Baron Geroges-Haussmann purchased much of Paris and decided to completely modernise the city and turn it from what he considered to be an underdeveloped, industrial working class town into “... a centre of intellectual and artistic activity, the centre of the financial and commercial movement of the country at the same time as the seat of government.” (This he wrote in a letter to Napoleon III, 1857, cited in Jones, Colin, Paris: Biography of a City, 2004, p.365) 

This image is not to document a simple street scene but instead a last ditch attempt to preserve a rapidly changing city, one that would forget the subjects (such as the ones in this image: a steel factory worker and his wife) of the working class and the history of what the city had once been.

History contextualises images, and places them within a larger narrative. It deploys greater importance and allows us to extract meaning and knowledge. It is also offers us explanations of events, in other words types of evidence, and gives the image life beyond the walls of its frames. 

We were requested to bring with us some images of our own to discuss in class as to how they might be looked at historically. Below is the image I brought:

I offered this image to my fellow students, without the given text to see what meanings and information they could divulge. They picked out tones of aggression but also were initially unclear whether what they were looking at was what it appears/ed to be which is jet trails in the sky. 

What the image is about is a fighter jet on a reconnaissance mission in Afghanistan, 2001. The jet did a sweep of an area before dropping several bombs and turning around to head back to base. Now, whilst this is the very simple, surface meaning to the image, there is so much to unpack and look at that could and (upon further reading) does change the nature of this image. It is an image that signifies the type of warfare that was being fought between rebel militia, America and the Afghan state. It approaches it in a very interesting way and I think that is what makes it so engaging. The image is almost entirely made up of the context it exists within. Without historical narrative, this is a simple image of a planes trail in the sky. When looked at in more depth, it realises, as we do too; people were killed in the aftermath of this, and this image describes a time and part of a war that raised so many ethical, political and cultural issues. Not to mention, it shows the nature of warfare and how much of it was fought like this.

I think this is a really interesting area, especially as photography is so wrapped up in the nature of history. 

In terms of writing an essay, I am looking at including history in a large part of the essay and I spoke briefly to Teemu about creating a hybrid question so as to be able to use several methodologies in analysing the images I shall use.

[mathematicianadda]

More Great Ways to Annoy a Mathematician

Which Ratio is Truly Golden?

I find it troubling that the golden ratio has so little in common with the golden rule.

Like, if you did unto others 1.618 times what you’d have them do unto you, then we’d all wind up exhausted.

And if you’re only doing 1/1.618 times unto them, then isn’t that a bit lazy?

  A Puzzle About Rates

I’ve always enjoyed those puzzles like, “If 3 chickens can lay 3 eggs in 3 days, then how long will it take 100 chickens to lay 100 eggs?” They’re counter-intuitive (e.g., in my example, each chicken lays 1 egg per 3 days, so the answer is also 3 days), yet deal only with simple constant rates.

So what if the rates weren’t constant? Like in, say, a bureaucracy, where 20 times more people will accomplish only 1/20th as much?

(Sorry for putting the answer upside down. It reads: “Please complete the attached form (Z302: Aggregate Task Completion Rate Information Request) and we’ll process your inquiry in 4-6 weeks.”)

  In this case, “a mathematician” refers specifically to Matt Parker, whose excellent book Humble Pi discusses the first two of these mistakes.

  The Asymptote of Happiness

Lots of poets have found asymptotes a convenient literary symbol – the idea of eternal striving is a resonant one (even beyond the eternal striving of the struggling algebra student).

  I love me some Raymond Smullyan.

Sorry again for putting the answer upside down. I dunno why I thought that was a clever idea. Mostly just forces you to turn off the auto-rotate setting on your phone.

Anyway, it reads: “Ask anything. You should already know not to buy lowfat yogurt.”)

  Proving a New Theorem

Not that I’ve ever felt this myself. I’m just speculating.

  P-R-E-N-A-T-A-L

What is parenting, if not a neat LARP?

(LARP = Live-Action Role-Playing Game, for those of you with less geeky acumen than I anticipate my audience to have.)

By the way, my friend Rayleen once described to me a brilliant comic, where one person asks, “When’s the baby due?” and the other person is drawn with a small horizontal stick figure emerging from their stick torso. (See? It’s such a good comic, I can just describe it.)

  The Sales Pitch for Math

I think a lot about the different arguments for math, and the ways that they support or contradict each other. Is it a beautiful art? An urgent set of universal civic skills? Key preparation for technical professions?

The answer is yes to all three. But not for all math, and not all at once – and attempting to blend the purposes can lead to a muddle.

  The Meaning of “Let”

It’s always tickled me that the mathematician’s verb “let,” which sounds so chill and laissez-faire, is actually a binding command.

  “All Happy Families Are Alike; Every Unhappy Family is Unhappy In Its Own Way”

I wrote a bunch of these a few years ago. This one has the benefit of being true: all circles are geometrically similar, but not all ellipses are.

(The same is true, by the way, of parabolas and hyperbolas. The former are all the same basic shape, just zoomed in or zoomed out, whereas the latter constitute a whole family of different shapes.)

(Chew on that, Tolstoy.)

  The Court-Appointed Translator

I wrote this little dialogue after listening to a great episode of The Allusionist, before it turned out that Game of Thrones would suffer the worst collapse in storytelling that I have ever experienced.

Oh well!

As my wife said, “At least this way we’ll never have to bargain with our daughter about when she’s old enough to watch Game of Thrones. The ending is so bad, in 10 or 15 years no one will be watching it anymore.”

  Identity Politics

This is a really dumb pun.

Also one of the more popular cartoons in this list.

Go figure.

  Another Dumb Pun

This one is inspired by that time Malcolm Gladwell referred to eigenvectors as “igon vectors,” and Steven Pinker blasted him for it, at which point Gladwell blasted Pinker for something else, and eventually we all lost the thread and just went about our days.

And if you want more godawful matrix puns, I’ve got ’em.

  I don’t know what day you’re reading this, but guess what? It’s also a bad approximation of pi! So go ahead and celebrate!

(Though if you want some very clever alternative pi days, check out Evelyn Lamb’s page-a-day calendar, which includes a Pi Day each month, and not where you’d expect!)

  Uncountably Many Wishes

After I posted this, there was a bunch of discussion on Twitter about whether I’d mischaracterized the Axiom of Choice, which is totally possible, in which case, oops.

Also, some folks pointed out that it’s pretty greedy to wish for uncountably many wishes, when you could just as easily wish for countably many.

To which I say: What’s the point of a magic lamp, if not to have greed be your undoing?

  Maximization vs. Minimization

For lots of optimization problems, maximizing makes sense, but minimizing doesn’t. (Or vice versa.) An example: What’s the largest rectangle you can make from 4 feet of wire?

It’s the 1-by-1 square, with an area of 1 square foot.

But what’s the smallest rectangle you can make (in terms of area)? Well, you could make the 1.9999 by 0.0001 rectangle, which has a very tiny area…

Or you could make the 1.999999 by 0.000001 rectangle, which has an even smaller area…

Or the 1.99999999999999 by 0.000000000000001 rectangle, whose area is microscopic…

…and so on.

I hope that was worth it! And I suspect it wasn’t! Anyway, moving on.

  More thoughts here.

  The Villainous Mathematician Explains His Plan

Clearly this villain should be assigning more group work.

Anyway, I for one am curious to know how a complex-valued currency might work. I’d pay a hefty fee for an accountant or tax attorney who can turn imaginary assets into real ones, or real debts into imaginary ones.

  The Cat on the Bed

I found it very hard to draw a decent space-filling curve.

Also, to draw a decent cat.

  Only Slept Four Hours

This is how I feel about anyone who sleeps less than 7 hours in a given night.

  Axioms of Life

This is my version of that xkcd about kitties.

Also pretty well summarizes parenthood. I still enjoy a cerebral geek-out, as I always have; but I also really enjoy holding my daughter in my arms and calling her the world’s best monkey over and over.

  How Many Stars?

I would totally read a graphic novel about the dating life of Georg Cantor.

The problem is that no one is going to write this graphic novel except for me.

Oh well. I’m under contract for two more books at the moment, but after that will come TRANSFINITE LOVE: THE ROMANTIC ESCAPADES OF A SET THEORIST.

  Quick-Draw Answers

Drawn from an actual experience, in my first week teaching 7th grade. I hadn’t really figured out how to tee up a problem-solving experience yet.

  Twenty Questions

Drew this one for a Jim Propp essay. Recommended as always!

  A New Proof

A teaching friend of mine had a whole list of proofs that 1 = 0, which he busted out at various developmentally appropriate points in grades 6 through 12.

I love that. Curious how far you could get writing a book of proofs that 1 = 0, each introducing a key idea in mathematics…

Maybe that’ll be my next project after the George Cantor romance novel.

  E = mc

Philosophical question: Is this a pun?

The case against: “A pun is a joke that plays on words that sound similar but mean different things. This isn’t doing that.”

The case for: “A pun is a joke that plays on linguistic expressions with similar surface features, but different deep meanings. This is doing exactly that: the premise of the joke is that an exponent and a footnote are both denoted with a superscript, yet mean very different things.”

So I guess this has a deep resemblance to puns, but lacks a surface resemblance… which is itself, not very pun-like.

Ruling: Not a pun!

  “The Exception Proves the Rule”

I guess you hear this inane phrase less often these days. But there was a time, kiddos, when people could hear a devastating counterexample to what they were arguing, and then blithely say “the exception proves the rule” with a straight face.

  The Math Sequence

I’m pretty agnostic on the math sequence. But I have strong intuitions that Star Wars should be screened in the order: IV, V, I, II, III, VI, and so on. (I view the sequels as pretty optional. Prequels too, for that matter, but if you limit yourself to the original trilogy, it’s a boring problem.)

  The “Same” Age

A lot of people on Facebook seemed to read this as though the right-hand character was creeping on Ariana Grande. Not my intention at all! I just wanted to pick a mid-20s celebrity. Could’ve just as easily been Bieber.

(My primary association with Ariana Grande, by the way, is her performance in the short-lived bar mitzvah-themed Broadway musical Thirteen.)

  Lemniskate

I’m not sure there’s a joke here.

I’m fond of this drawing anyway.

  Linear Child

Michael Pershan, the internet’s most relentlessly analytical math educator, inexplicably loved this joke, so I call it a win.

Someone on social media speculated about the position by which this linear combination had been “conceived,” which I found quite vulgar and upsetting (but which I also sort of invited by drawing a comic about procreating vectors).

  If P, then Q

Where do we draw the line between logical succession, and outright stalking? I leave that to the courts.

  Loons and Lunes

Sometimes I just want to do a cute drawing that has no joke in it, okay?

  The Vertical Line Test

I’m actually skeptical that the phrase “vertical line test” has any value. To me it feels like a fancy name for a fact that doesn’t need a fancy name. And, as in the two-column-proof version of geometry, giving fancy names to facts that students should be reasoning out for themselves can become obfuscatory rather than clarifying.

  Whose Fractal is Whose?

Please join me in making “Patricia gasket” a thing! E.g., “Did you know Copley Square in Boston is the approximate shape of the mathematical figure known as a Patricia Gasket?”

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