#ill just sit here and enjoy it while it lasts www<3

[callilouv]

its yearning hours oh myg od

[kayleystittychallenge-blog]

i wrote this during last summer

Topics for Thesis? 1. Fundamental of the human experience Fundamentals of the human experience Trauma theories This personal experience of quickly collecting- stuffiness. I think that death is one of those concepts that is contextualized by being a fundamental human experience- or really anything with a life. You I begin to contemplate grander ideas and really understand them in a more personal and deeper way. Things like birth trauma theories, attachment theories- looking at how we understand life and our human behavior and these very psychological ideas. 2. Self Mind body/ self So called you We do not know if we exist or not Self-deception Identity Multiple selves *Encapsulation of who I am and what I have become *how the body is an expression of emotional and physical- how interconnected and ever-changing those systems are- re mapping- a spiritual death and re awakening- I think that self will be in here no matter what- I am making art while intentionally thinking abou my human/ personal experience. 3. Living with cancer What is happening in the body with cancer? What does it look like? What does it feel like? The reality of things as they are Thresholds and passages In the middle of uncertainties fragility of the material material agency of suffering bowed by the weight of the collective Deny fight believe repeat understand disease and process full fulling life Preciousness in life- to share Physical manifestation of existence Leaving something of yourself behind Encapsulation of who I am and what I have become I could really see these as titles or even a grander idea- visually expressing these ideas a looks how it feels assignment. 4. body/ pain/ brain/ emotion How is pain/ illness conceived in the body? Relationship to trauma? Transformation Inevitable changes Immune therapies what are those possible transitions like- how to they feel emotionally and physically this idea that emotional and physical are so closely related it i difficult to separate them how emotions are held in the body fragmentation of the body seems to be what i am thinking of Physical discomfort/ exhaustion, packaged, memory, achievements, stages of life? Mortality, body versus soul, physical limitation, health doing is the body negotiating the physical world in relationship to a wide range of behaviors Vulnerable, fetal, unprotected, brave, clinical, digital, suction, loss of air in the room, lungs slowly filling and emptying, cross sections, cutting, uncomfortable, quietly active, projection- disappearance of the body from skins to organs to bones- everything needed for a living being, being able to see or observe something with technology but not being able to fix our “bodies” inefficiency feeling the pain as an actual body system that was attatched to my back- like we were transformers or something very sci- fi. how the body is an expression of emotional and physical- how interconnected and ever-changing those systems are- re mapping- a spiritual death and re awakening- 5. Preparing to die: Fill out an advanced directive Look at what happens to the physical body after – organ donor – burial- cremation A Chaplin- someone to help with the family matters around death A neutral person- removed from my family What happened to my things when I die? The language and societal behavior towards the dying What happens to the body/ brain at death? What is happening in the body with cancer? What does it look like? What does it feel like? 6. I want to look at different mythology and cultural depictions of death Choose different ideas to represent in my work The how of 5. 7. Reaching enlightenment https://embodiedastrology.com/2016/12/28/setting-our-sights-on-the-future-capricorn-new-moon/ the power of sisterhood and self care process toward enlightenment and inquiry soul searching doing a transition- myself- using ritual to become more connected eat pray love or something like that reincarnation heideger pump for water, pain of experiences, hand becomes handle. cones- meditative poetry - contradictions triple candie- jens hoffman http://www.renderfoodmag.com/blog/2016/7/11/toward-a-radical-nourishment-manifesto-and-self-care-ecology No ego- caught the fish, did not create the fish There is no certainty Want to be ok with dying at the moment of death Spiritual connectedness Intentional thought Stretching of the bodies moments affect indivisible reclaiming the sublime kundalini yoga - https://www.3ho.org/kundalini-yoga/ten-bodies/characteristics-ten-bodies-0 10 bodies- radiant body- symbolic courage Spiritual materialism Self ego to use mantra to become a powerful being Let us mock the eye Build our spirit Sit and do nothing Body speech and mind Overhead projector Dharma art Rather than painting the lake- paint being in the water Look at Buddhist ritual Jin sookim Tibetan prayer flags 8. Ways of dealing and coping with a chronic illness Life and loss and coping -living -making a bucket list What type of life is important to you? -changes? Perspective? How plants have changed their health Something outside western hospitals Different methods of healing? -homeopathic -western -eastern -clinical -western -eastern 9. Joy creative process gives me energy, community process of balance. Process of making- working through trauma Formalization- - compose to make more than ordinary- arrange patterns, Repatition, exaggeration, elaboration, surprise Healing from giving- healing from receiving- hospital art- important enough to get to see it in art, in making, in sharing and in participating Sense of humor Enjoying senses Sense of wisdom Make with your own hands Missed ceremony- art? During ceremony- all ordinary everyday Things have become extraordinary Arts to help us transition through. Transformation- material transformation. Art- transformative agent to connectivity. 10. To have a changed perspective of time time is something that i really want to explore my relationship to- the reality and perception of other. Connection through time Science fiction idea- to come back in my next life and I left a path for me to find who I used to be and connect with family and friends 11. Look at what happens to a body after death -as an organ donor -as preparation for burial -as preparations for cremation Disconnections with the body especially after death death- how to die- what happens when you die- look at other people who are processing death- exploring ways of living- trying a new diet for a month , just immersing myself in one idea- or branch of ideas literally thinking about what the body goes through after death 12. what happens to things? Objects financial burden? Collected material Charm- symbol of the object materials being reused and supporting many lives of different pieces I want to really explore a couple of things- my connection to containers using found objects- the commentary is often imbedded in the wall text. instead the commentary is imbedded in the objects collected material Everything is material - point of view- having a ritual with objects- sacred objects- using what you have- economy of things- way of living- healing and trauma. 13. Telling my story Understanding past lives Work towards turtle Turtle stories Anecdotes Ancestry Look at ancestry Understand what it took for me to have my life through the stories of the people especially the women in my family