#ill make new accounts every time you block one. ill post it under the tags thirteen times a day. you will not escape me

[grimalkinmessor]

SHUT UP ABOUT THE PERCY JACKSON VS HARRY POTTER DEBATE SHUT UP ABOUT THE PERCY JACKSON VS HARRY POTTER DEBATE IT'S BEEN MONTHS WHY IS IT STILL CIRCULATING MY FEED. IF I SEE THAT STUPID ASS TWEET THAT STARTED IT ALL ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I'M GOING TO START DRAWING THEM HOLDING HANDS AND MAKING OUT SLOPPY STYLE AND MAKING SWEET SWEET LOVE ON A BED OF ROSE PETALS I AIN'T PLAYING WITH Y'ALL NO MORE

[ashsostrange]

I'm honestly surprised at the amount of people who are still supporting him.He's got his little ((whats left of them at least)) fan base wrapped around his fingers.

“ He’s a minor he cant think for himself, his brain ain't developed!!” “ You don't know what it's like for him at home!” my fav so far “y'all are ablest and racist!! Yall don't care about black people!”

Bitch no one gives a fuck that he is black!! Motherfucker is telling people/threatening to eat glass to get away from what he's said to people. Calling someone out for gaslighting and trying to manipulate people with that shit ain't racist. Also using self diagnosis and laying about taking pill that will “get you high” as a way to get out of all his call outs. This is the stupidest shit I have seen while being on tumblr for the past three or so years like damn!!💆🏾‍♀️

perioddd!! lemme talk my shit again

i honestly giggled when his bf tried to say “y’all hate black people” when pretty much everyone speaking on him is black. why would i do that bc he’s black?? i’m black, not to mention a darskin girl. do with that info what you will.

ppl wna make us seem like bullies so bad. this isn’t just about what happened w catty, hell, it’s hardly about her at all! it’s ab his behavior in general. it’s inappropriate! if he would’ve just owned up, there wouldn’t have been a problem. i’m not obsessed w this nigga, i don’t care to go out of my way to make a post ab him everyday. he’s the one who escalated this further. he only wants us to “mind our business” when we’re not coming for his neck.

ab his mental health, if he doesn’t have a real diagnosis, he needs to not claim mental illnesses like that, but rather acknowledge that something is wrong with him. if you make a mistake, you need to not blame every damn thing on your said mental illness. if anything it’s a justification, but never an excuse. take the initiative to look at yourself and decide if you’re in the right headspace to be on the internet or not. i struggle with mental health, but not in the way he allegedly does. if ik i’m not in the right headspace for something, i step away. he needs to do that. and invest in a diary.

i genuinely don’t know why people are defending him when he did this to himself. if woulda stopped riding my dick like beyoncé rode that surfboard, then maybe we wouldn’t be here right now. accountability isn’t a bad thing. we’ve all made mistakes. i know i’ve made many, it’s about how you address them that matters.

i was literally defending his lame ass when he was sending inboxes as an anon to cause more mess between these two girls. yao was saying he was behind the anon and obv i didn’t believe her bc it wasn’t making sense to me at the time, and there was no real way to prove it. but then he started sending her hella inboxes and tagged all his mutuals saying “war has begun” a whole day later. when i tell you i showed one of my bsfs that post and we LAUGHEDD 🤣🤣🤣 nigga this is tumblrrrr, not a battlefield! from that day i’ve been watching him lmao. didn’t wna say anything about his behavior until i gathered more info cuz i’m not a mean girl (and didn’t want his army bombarding my inbox), but this is ridiculous.

and i’m so glad lia dmed me one day so we could discuss his weirdness. we literally played his ass and he didn’t know. bro was sending her msgs talking ab “i liked your new fic, but you blocked me” and he was the only one she had blocked recently. he sent so many hateful msgs under anon after that, nd he was reblogging it acting like it wasn’t him like… ok weird nigga.

i’m not ableist or “racist” (i’m literally fucking black!) fuck i gotta b ableist for? i’m the last person to rock w any kind of tomfoolery, and all my mutuals and irls know that. i’m unapologetically me on this blog. what you see is who i am.

“he’s a minor!!” so are the rest of us dealing with his bs bro. i’m literally SIXTEEN 😭

like i said, in most situations, if multiple people (with good morals) are telling you that you’re wrong, you can’t be right. i was never disrespectful with him to begin with. you get disrespectful with me, i get disrespectful with you. don’t care who you are ✌️like thank yewww

[random-lil-illing]

i think i've gone long enough without a pinned post - time to make one!

WELCOME TO MY BLOG !!

!! INTRODUCTION !!

hello, i'm beverly! i use they/them and he/him pronouns (i am willing to experiment with other pronouns/neopronouns/xenopronouns too!! as long as it's not she/her.) :) you can also call me: illing, everest, ayesha, meeks, star, duck, or mitchell.

i am under eighteen years old, and i would appreciate it if people over nineteen did not message me (you can interact with my posts and replies, but no private messages please! you will be ignored or blocked if you message me and are over the age of nineteen.)

i like to interact with my mutuals, but i don't often make actual connections with them or become friends - i am okay with occasional messages, though i can't promise i will respond :)

my blog is mostly an art blog, with some headcanon posts here and there, but i do sometimes reblog things and participate in tag games. i like to interact with my mutuals' posts sometimes, such as replying to their posts or adding on to them in my reblogs.

!! MY OTHER ACCOUNTS !!

my other tumblr account for reblogging only: @illings-ill-reblogs (appearance/theme of this account changes with every hyperfixation.)

my side-blog (a fan-page for whichever character(s) i am interested in): @character-obsessed-fem (theme/appearance of this account changes with every hyperfixation.)

my ao3 account: Caramel_Cannibal

my tiktok (be warned i am rarely active on here): @caramel.cannibal

!! INTERESTS !!

my interests / hyperfixations, which my blog will be mostly centered around for the time that i am into them, change all the time! each time i have a new interest, i will change it here on my pinned post :)

current interest: Dead Poets Society (1989) - specifically, Stephen Meeks.

previous interest: Call of Duty - specifically, Advanced Warfare (2014) and, even more specifically, Jack Mitchell.

!! NOT WELCOME HERE !!

if you find yourself under any of these categories, please do not follow me as you will not like the contents of my blog, and i do not like you. i urge you to leave.

- discriminatory against any of the following groups: religions (especially jews and muslims), pocs, lgbtq+, palestinians, minorities, disabled people, neurodivergent people, homeless people, women, single parents.

- if you are a zionist, leave.

- if you are a terf, leave. (this includes supporting known terfs like JKR.)

- if you support or defend pedophilia, zoophilia/bestiality, and rape/SA (or, god forbid, belong to any of those groups), leave.

!! PLEASE STAY !!

if you find yourself under any of the following categories, then i think you will like this blog and i urge you to stay!

- if you like art, stay.

- if you like dead poets society, stay. (for now.)

- if you do not mind a blog that changes interests constantly, stay!

- if you are queer, please stay.

- if you are pro-palestine, stay.

- if you're friends with me in real life, stay! (at the risk of your own sanity, of course.)

- if you are not prejudiced against minorities or a group of people (unfairly) discriminated against, stay.

!! ADDITIONAL WARNINGS !!

- i tend to take unannounced breaks from tumblr a lot, especially throughout the school year. this is due to a variety of reasons, but usually comes down to me being focused on school work and exams and not having time to make anything for tumblr. this can be pretty annoying, and i do apologise.

- when i make headcanons for characters, i sometimes headcanons them as things that have no back-up evidence in the actual media (e.g. headcanoning a character as trans with no proof, or believing a character has a specific type of family with no proof.) this might bother some people, however i am just trying to have fun here :)

- i have a bad habit of making unecessarily long posts (especially when it comes to headcanons), and i know people may find this annoying... sorry!

!! MY ONLINE PERSONA !!

i do have an online persona if people would like someone / something to imagine when interacting with my posts :)

!! MUTUALS !!

unfortunately, i rarely interact with my mutuals unless i'm doing a tag game they tagged me in, or i'm adding something to their post :( i am a very low-contact mutual unfortunately.

!! BLINKIES !!

that's it!! i've seen a lot of people with pinned posts and i've decided it's time to make my own :)

[simpjaes]

a fair warning that i am exploring the act of writing darker fics. if that is something you can't handle, please block me, i am not responsible for your inability to consume the right content for you.

▸ if you want nct, atz, or svt fics, follow me on @ncteez

▸ my public twit is here

▸ do not interact with me if i blocked you. don't make new accounts asking why or trying to get me to unblock. it's weird and invasive to not let people curate their own spaces.

**additionally** don't ask me why someone else blocked you either, that's not my business.

▸ all blank and ageless blogs will be ignored and/or blocked

▸ i am an adult so i do not want minors interacting with me or any of my posts. ▸ don't critique me or leave criticism on my works. i do this for fun and for free, i am not trying to be perfect for anyone but myself. your negative opinion of my fic will change nothing nor will it make you feel better.

▸ spam liking my posts will get you blocked if you can't be bothered to reblog any of the content you're consuming from me. i'm a person sharing my content, not your personal pornhub. reblog my work if you're consuming it.

▸ i rarely follow people back under the age of 20, don't take it personally. ▸ my works are not a representation me as a person, of real life sex, or the idols and their belief systems. these works are fictional and purely an exploration of different plots and ideas.

▸ if you are homophobic, racist, or interested in minors in any way, delete your blog. ▸ if you are consuming my content with the intention to be mad about it, do not interact with me because i do not care. ▸ do not come to me about fandom drama scoops. i don't feed into that shit the majority of the time. ▸ remember that i am a real person with autonomy. i have the ability to write what i want without needing to defend myself to you.

#𝒇𝒂𝒒⠀⠀

▸ THIS IS PLAGIARISED! WHO WROTE IT FIRST?! firstly, thank you for looking out for me! I have two blogs on tumblr where sometimes I cross post my fics for different members. I am both @ncteez and @simpjaes. if you see my work posted by any other blog, it is not me. however, these two blogs are me. ▸ can i re-post, translate, or use parts of your fics for my own blog/website? no you may not! if i find any of my work posted anywhere by anyone who isn't me, ill come for u. ▸ do you have a posting schedule? nope. i write when i have the energy, and i don't write when i feel stuck. i am also a full time student, there will be periods of time where i am not actively writing. ▸ what about a tag list? do you have one? yep!

▸ do you take fic requests? not for full fics, no. i will answer mtls and hard thoughts at my leisure. occasionally i'll do drabbles for hyung line, but again, that's at my discretion. please do not expect me to answer every single ask in my inbox :(

▸ why don't you write for [insert member]? because i don't want to. ▸ do you have a recs page or tag? yep! it's right here under the #library tag! ▸ why do you have such an attitude? i am a very kind person but I do not allow people to take advantage of me or walk all over me. if i respond to you with an attitude, it's because you're being an asshole or you haven't done the bare minimum of reading my very obvious pinned post and rules before interacting with me! please respect me as not only a writer, but as a person. if you cross my boundaries or blatantly ignore my guidelines, i will not be fucking nice about it.

▸ why do you expect people to reblog your work when you don't reblog works yourself? i do reblog work that I have read, i simply don't read on tumblr as often. trust me when I say, if i read it, i will be reblogging and leaving feedback. however, i do not think a writer on this site is required to actively read here, people are allowed to post their work and read elsewhere while still getting their own feedback! ▸ can i ask for tarot and chart readings since you mention it sometimes? no.

▸ where else can i find your work? ao3 - honeyateez ao3 - simpjaes [revamped fics from other bands that are now for enhypen] for cross-posting purposes and to monitor plagiarism: wattpad - gothenha

[ruby3818]

I have something I really need to get off my chest that I’ve put off for years now but can’t ignore anymore. Under a read more so you can skip it and tagged #negative so you can block it. Maybe this might clear some things up or at least get my side of the story out there. Please read this before making any decision about me from what you’ve heard from someone else.

I am aware that Cap, who I used to be friends with but had to leave the friendship because of their controllive obsession with me is still saying lies about how I “abandoned them” in public forums. Even going as far as to ask my franticshipping mutuals to block me (how she knows who my mutuals are is anyone's guess since I’ve had her blocked for over three years now??). If you see her do this please stop enabling them!! Over the years people have made her feel ok to get aggressive about my very existence and tell her that they are “valid” for feeling jealousy. All it does is reassure her that it is ok to behave like that and not be held accountable for their actions. Cap does not need validation, she needs help.

I have begged her multiple times over the past few years to leave me alone and stop saying stuff about me on public forums but every time she promises to stop I hear from someone else that they're still doing it. Things like; making up stuff that I apparently said in a dream treated as fact, telling my mutuals to block me, saying that I’ve apparently replaced her, telling everyone that I abandoned her, etc.

Because of her I not only lost them as a friend but every single other friend I had because they either believe the lies or they're scared of upsetting Cap who flies into a rage at the very mention of me.

I really tried to help her and then when the jealousy, gas lighting, violent mood swings and controlling behavior got too much for me and everyone else who tried to help I had to do what was best for both of us and leave the friendship.

I've tried for three years now to be the better person and not talk about what should be our personal problems but it's just blown up in my face with no one believing me or wanting to get involved and everyone enabling them (which is triggering to irl experiences but that's another story).

And I do understand that maybe a lot of this frustration I feel is because of the pattern of people abusing me and then everyone around me forcing me to forgive them and be around them for the sake of their feelings leading to the same damn cycle of me being helpless and feeling like a burden for not putting up with it.. It just sucks that even online I have to deal with it when this should be a safe place away from all that. But I also know what emotional abuse looks like due to irl experiences and I know that this is not acceptable behavior. This is abuse. And the only way to stop an abuser is to get their behavior out in the open and have other people know what they’ve been doing.

It also really sucks that the whole reason I couldn’t stand being friends with her was because I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone else and if I did they would blow into a rage and yet 3 whole years later I still am not allowed to talk to anyone otherwise I’m “replacing them” leading her to tell any potential new friends to block me (Somehow she is finding out who my new mutuals are on Tumblr, Twitter and Discord and dm’ing them to block me which is what some of these mutuals have come forward to tell me). She still has that control over me and I’m sick of it. I just want to move on.

I hate having to tip toe around the fandom not knowing what they’ve said about me to mutuals. I just want to be able to talk to people and have them know the full story and not some fabricated story of abandonment or random crap I apparently said in a dream of theirs.

As for what they did in the past, here’s my side of the story and why I had to leave the friendship;

They would always get jealous when I talked to other people and threaten to kill them self because "I'm just going to replace them". It became such a constant thing that I couldn’t even talk at all in a public server without there being a big drama about it. They even ended up being banned from Specord for their constant harassment of me.

Whenever I would bring this up and ask her (or beg) to not get upset and let me talk to people they would act like they had no idea what I was talking about and say that my depression is making me think crazy things. Even though other people saw it and I also had screenshots I still believed them because (being mentally ill) I really can't trust myself. I've been gas-lighted by people in my family my whole life so this was too triggering to handle on a daily basis so I needed out of the friendship.

She constantly suicide-baited me into taking her back and then made every conversation we had about suicide and self harm. Whenever she felt bad about something I said to her in a dream or if I talked to someone else she would tell me happily how she cut herself “for me” because it was supposed to show me that she loved me and that she somehow deserved it. The constant talk of suicide became too triggering to my own mental health and struggle with suicidal thought that I had to get out of the relationship.

For so long they would make up lies about how I abandoned them leading me to receive death threats from strangers telling me to kill myself, people blocking me and all my friends no longer talking to me so it doesn't upset them. So in the end they still had that control over me.

They even told me in our last conversation (over two years ago) that they were right for overreacting over me talking to anyone else besides them because I "shouldn't be talking to other people anyway". They even went as far to tell me that they hated how I was "popular" and basically wanted to be like me whilst also destroying me.

I know that I could of been a better friend but with my c-ptsd and her own mental health problems it just became a toxic mix. The very mention of my name or seeing my posts or comments at all just sends her into violent mood-swings. I couldn’t handle being emotionally abused on a daily basis and I needed out of the relationship. And I get that they still have friends that care about them, that’s good! They’re going to need the support if they’re ever going to improve as a person and move on from this.

So what is the point of this post? Well mostly just to get this pent up helplessness out into the open so maybe someone might understand. The other reason is that I am sick to death of having to be known as the bad guy just because I tried to do what I thought was the right thing by walking away. I want to be able to makes friends and not have to worry about Cap finding out and sabotaging it for me. I want the hate asks to stop. I want people who I thought were my friends to stop blocking me because of something they heard.

This is a selfish request but I also want people to stand up to her for once and stop her from spreading lies about me in public and feeding her delusions. I want her to know that she can’t bully, manipulate and emotionally abuse people in to a friendship and that she doesn’t get to decide who I can interact with. But mostly I hope that by getting this out in the open maybe this might finally come to an end and we can both move on.

Naturally she’s gone and deleted all of her dm’s with me but I do still have some screen shots that might help people understand. I won’t include any dm’s with other users but my DM’s are open if you need more clarification.

First off her finally agreeing to tell the truth (which she never ended up doing evidentely)

She always worshiped me as someone I wasn’t and thought that she had to be like me to be a successful person but it ended up blowing up into a full blown obsession around being me.

She always said she acknowledged that how she treated me was wrong but she still kept doing it like she couldn’t control herself... I kept thinking that maybe her therapy would help her and we could go back to how it was before but she just kept getting worse with her obsession.

This was the other Cap.. the one that wouldn’t acknowledge what she was doing at all and would tell me I was making it up out of paranoia

These are some screenshots that were sent to me of some of the stuff she was saying about me on other servers?? She would always treat the stuff that I did in her dreams as stuff I actually said but, idk how to control what I say in her dreams?? I would never in my life say this kind of stuff about anyone??

Due to the pic limit I will include other screenshots in a reblog.

If you need any more clarification or just want to talk don’t be afraid to ask. Hopefully this can be cleared up finally and I can be free from her control. She needs to be held accountable for her actions and she needs to move on for the sake of her own mental health as well as for mine.

[kikiyakno]

✧ Little Star

Date → Some day during the week prior to the Masquerade event. Feb 2021 Setting → Kian’s Grandparent’s Home. Santa Monica, California Triggers  → None, but does include descriptors of fish cutting so if that’s not your cup of tea... Mentioned  → Yi Jae-Sang , Seong Sunwoo , Brandon Kelly, Song Minjoon , Maverick Maxwell, Yong Chul Synopsis  →  ★ Stars are born when large gas clouds collapse under gravity.

The invitation was weird, it was random, it definitely was fishier than whatever fish it was Kian’s grandmother was scaling on the cutting board, but Kian held the weirdrandomandveryfishy invitation close to his chest. This was it. This was exactly the shimmering gold ticket his family and their restaurant needed that would definitely turn everything around.

Except…Gyeonggi Grill was having no part of it.

Just about every eatery in Pico was on board, even the ones Kian didn’t particularly think should be serving food (looking at you Pete’s Palace) and the ones he personally considered to be competition. There was no haste in the flood of Facebook posts on his feed of businesses confirming and promoting their attendance in response to the mysterious invite. It was hard not to feel the clamoring excitement over a party at an art museum. The more he refreshed pages, the more he heard about people talking of it between deliveries, the more Kian felt that this was possibly the shining light for Gijis to be seen again. They would sign up, get paid for it, and best of all to serve new people ~rich people~ to ultimately bring business back in. 

This big chance and his grandparents were radio silent. Kian couldn’t understand.

“Momo,” Kian whined loudly to his grandmother with a soft bounce on his heel. Even with his call the older woman didn’t look up from her work and feed into his melodramatic call. He huffed, the lack of response making his brows deepen further in frustration. “Momo, everyone who’s anyone will be there. They’re paying vendors to be there. This went out to a ton of people, probably everyone we know! Seriously! Everyone’s talking about it. This isn’t just something someone planned on the block, yakno. It’s a huge deal.” 

The pressed enunciations of his words make Kian stop to take a breath. In consideration, he defaulted to speaking in Korean when he was at home and not surrounded by any of his friends. His grandparents had never requested that he do so, but on his own Kian decided that it was a  respectful gesture. Just because English was his preferred language, forcing them to speak it with him didn’t seem fair. It takes him seconds to catch his breath before Kian starts up again.

“This party is exactly what we need, Momo. We can serve…..we can serve the soy garlic chicken! And you know people absolutely love our fried chicken. They talk about how good it is all the time! You know normal chicken places in America don’t double fry. And when they try, it sucks. That’s what makes ours so good! We can stand out with that! Guaranteed!” 

His grandma still didn’t respond, head down and much busier in her re-work of separating scales from the fish. However, there was a soft smile that had made a way to her face now. The passion and sincerity in his voice tickled her ears, especially when a little twist of the accent Kian had arrived at her doorstep with slipped free. Her grandson spoke with fire but not the kind that sought to burn others. He also spoke awfully fast. Which wasn’t too out of the norm for her grandson. Years ago she noticed Jae, Sunwoo, and Kian all shared that oddity.

The lull in the room pressed in on Kian and he broke through it with a giant huff. He waited still, watching her work the knife with expertise. He bit his lip to stop the clench of his jaw and the tightness from impatience building in his throat.

 “Mo—“ “Do you want to cut the fish? It’s your favorite before I clean it.” 

Cut short mid breath, Kian blinked wide at the knife being placed aside for him. She still didn’t look at him, but stepped aside for him to join her. The words sitting on his tongue blew away on a sigh, obediently setting the invite away and beelining to the sink to wash his hands. He steps beside her to take the knife as he starts cutting through the skin. The silence lingers on, aside from the edge of the knife occasionally drags against the cutting board. Kian works as asked, but fast. His cuts are clean and precise despite having his conversation stalled.

“You aren’t listening to me.” He says in an undertone, looking down at his work as he goes.  “I am, Ki-Hyun. I am listening.” Her voice is fond and silvery. Kian knew he was doing his cutting well. “Then why aren’t we joining everyone? Why aren’t we preparing for the event, Momo. We can serve food there.”  “...” “They will give us money. They pay, it won’t be free yakno.” “...” “A lot of people will be there. A lot of people who will love our food like they used to.” “...” “Maybe it’ll be enough money to help us catch up, Momo.”  “Kiki, please slow down and watch your cut.” “Please stop ignoring what I am saying.” Kian’s voice rises a few notches from his soft mutter. He pauses his cutting, noting how his clean work had suffered as he had tried to discuss. He evaluates briefly if his volume had gone too high to be seen as disrespectful, or if he could go on. Soon after he disregards his worry. He was tired of making these pleas and not getting answers. “Why are we not participating? Why aren’t we going?”

The sharpness in his tone takes her by surprise, but she is no stranger to determination. She can’t fight the look on her grandson’s face anymore, sighing herself before she gingerly responds.“...We can’t afford to close an entire day, Ki-Hyun. That’s a day’s business lost.” 

“They’ll pay twice that! Maybe triple than what we make in a day!” 

“We can’t guarantee that, Ki.”

“I can! It’s all over Facebook! Twitter! Other businesses saying they’ll be there and got paid! Remember when I made those accounts for us? People have tagged us—ah, mentioned us! They want to know if we’ll be there.” His voice brightens, contrasting her modulated one. His falters down instantly, however, seeing how her eyes widen then dampen in gentle confusion. Social media was still an entirely new world language for her. “Customers that are going to the party are asking about our food being there. They want us to be there too, Momo.” He defines for her with warmth. Kian can see her understand with his explanation, but she looks away from him before he can see a different turmoil in her eyes.

“We can’t gamble on something everyone else sees as lucrative. And...it would have to be more than a day to prepare for such a large number of people…that means we would have to close for longer to accommodate. Everyone on our staff would have to work longer.”

“Right, and then I’ll get Jae and DaeDae and Mason, and some of my new friends to help us all out and make things easier. And-and Minjoon loves being in the kitchen. If not, him and Chul have networks online too! I know they’d be super happy to help us find the hands we need. Maverick likes food trucks and stuff, he could talk to people! Oh, and Brandon might could help us with clothes and let us borrow something nice to go in!”

“Ki-Hyun.”

“He would find you a really nice dress. Remember I told you that’s what he does, yakno? He’s really good at it. Remember he called me from out of town? He was in a Fashion Show out of state! People love his stuff!” 

“Ki-Hyun.”

“And you know Jae would probably take off all his jobs to help. DaeDae would help too. Buuttt he’s the only one we might have to pay with food, so—” “Ki-Hyun.” Kian stops. Moreso to take a breath than to listen.

“Ki-Hyun, we don’t even have enough in our inventory right now to do so.”

“Yes we do, we—” “Kiki.” 

Kian blinked wide, and she simply shook her head against it. He hadn’t even finished! Each idea of his was shot down in seconds.

Excuses, excuses, excuses. These weren’t answers they were excuses. He didn’t notice how his hands had started trembling or how an ill taste of bitterness wrapped around his tongue. 

“Maybe if you stopped preparing that sweet chili wing combo every Monday and Wednesday night, we would have enough.”

“Kian!” 

“Momo, if Sunwoo was going to come back he would’ve by now. I told you that. But you still do that every night for two days a week. It’s been a month. That’s four weeks. Combos come with six pieces, but you give him two extra. So that’s about thirty-two pieces of meat we’ve had to throw out in the last month because of one person that could’ve fed five or more people.”

Kian knew he had crossed a line and he could see it in her face. He braced for anything, but she only fired right back at him.“And I will keep making what I want for him because those are his nights he works late. It’s too late and dangerous for him to stop anywhere else!”  

“You don’t get it. He doesn’t CARE!” Exploding, Kian lets knife go to drop onto the table as his world suddenly blurs. “He doesn’t care! He-He doesn’t care and he won’t come back! They aren’t coming back. Cause they don’t care. They don’t care. And YOU don’t care!” Kian steps back, immediately remorseful but a throaty sob obstructs his apology. The busy pattern on his grandma’s shirt melds into one in the watery world. “You don’t care! You won’t let me help. You don’t think I know we’re behind! I work because I know we’re in trouble. But you and Grandpa keep...trying to HIDE it and not make me worry. But that just makes it worse! I worry anyways! I’m 27 now and you’re getting older, but I see you work every single day. Then you come home, tired, but then for ME you pretend we’re doing okay when we’re not. We’re NOT!! No matter what we do it’s not enough. I keep working and working and working and working but it’s just not enough! It’s not enough for you to stop pretending like I can’t help! It’s not enough for my friends to feeling like they don’t have to baby me and take care of me and pay for me to eat all the time! It’s not enough for me to ever see you stop working, or rest well at night, or for us to think about taking road trips like we used to or flying away on vacation!” Kian stops to wipe his face with his sleeves in a rush, face wet as though he had been standing in rain. He pushes his face into them to have his cry, only to feel his chest heave in harder when in the brief darkness he only imagines the glittering, serene lights of Paris. He shuts his eyes tighter and tears his face away in a hurry, feeling the accumulation of months of his world caving in on itself finally collapsing on top of him. 

“I-I’m tired, halmeoni. I’m tired of us pretending. This is our one chance and you say no! Why are you giving it up so easily? Why are you giving up?! Wh-wh-why am I the only one who cares? N-N-No one cares! No one cares but me!”

Kian feels like he’s going to give way again before strong arms pull him close from behind. He breaks regardless, knowing now that at some point his Grandfather had come into the room. At this point Kian’s grief commanded his outburst.

“I’m sorry i’m not Kyung-soo. I’m sorry i’m not good like Kyung-soo so you could finally rest and have plenty of money and friends and nice clothes like he does. If I wasn’t here your family would love you and send you the money you need and you wouldn’t be dealing with this. They won’t even help you because of me. It’s my fault. I’m so sorry we can’t be happy and enjoy things like normal people. I’m so—!”

Kian felt warm hands take his cheeks and his body be squeezed harder. Momo had been hushing him and only at her touch had he quieted. He didn’t know how long she had been trying to, but his Grandfather’s face was buried heavy into his shoulder. Momo smiled, relieved to see that she had gotten through to him, but Kian could finally see her face was just as wet—and tired—as his. As familiar as she was to determination, her heart ached to see overwhelming frustration cripple the brightest heart she knew. She could be angry, she could be upset, but while Kian said one thing, she heard another. Hopes, wishes, blame, and shame but most of all that passion and sincerity.  Yes, it hurt to be the one hit by his fire this time, but this detonation of Kian’s was different than all the others she seen before it. She swiped over his cheeks with her thumbs, still working on a smile despite her own tears.

"Don’t let go of any of those dreams of yours, little one. We will figure this out just like we’ve figured out everything else. Keep hoping. It’ll be alright. I promise.”

[danaan13]

Today is my birthday. It's also been one week since a very hard decision had to be made, that changed my life very suddenly, and very painfully. The following is going under a cut. It’s also really long. My apologies to any mobile users that might get the full post anyway. Scroll really fast. I'm going to be talking about the loss of my dog. Some of it is traumatic. So warnings for injury, death, cars, insurance shit, and lots of feelings.

This post is 85% for me and 15% for anyone who's had questions since my vague posts a week ago. I have no blame or ill feelings for anyone that needs to keep scrolling. This post is going to be a lot. And I understand if one doesn't have the energy or the headspace for it. But a lot of of this is writing for my personal mourning.

One other thing: I go over events with the vet we saw. I'm not looking for different diagnoses, or different opinons, or debate, about what the vet said, or the decision we made. As I said, this post is for me to mourn. For me to record what happened. Maybe someone else would've done something differently. I don't know. We made the decision we thought was best.

And with that:

One week ago, my spouse took our dog for a walk in the evening. This was our normal routine. Newton, our dog, loved it. She was an australian shepherd mix, and naturally had all kinds of energy to work out. Even at eleven years old. It's 6 in the evening. It's pitch black out. My spouse has a bright orange, relfective rain jacket on. Newton is wearing a bright orange doggie vest, a collar that had a glowy blue led strip all the way around, and a leash with a reflective string. By our thoughts, safety was accounted for.

Their normal route took them past the shopping center that's a block and a half from our home. My spouse sees a truck sitting at a restaurant parking lot exit, as if waiting on traffic, before attempting to turn. Spouse believes they're going to continue to wait, and starts to cross the front of the exit, along the part marked as a sidewalk. Spouse is directly in front of truck, when it starts up and hits them. And pins Newton under the wheel.

The driver rolled down the passenger window to yell at my spouse. My spouse was yelling at him to move off our dog. A witness, who heard our dog screaming, from inside the restaurant, comes out and bangs on the man's driver window till he rolls it down. He finally backs off of Newton. They move her aside. My spouse was in that kind of shock where emotions shut off. They start giving orders. You call 911. You get that man's insurace. Someone get pictures. Etc.

And then the man suddenly drives away. Doesn't say a word. Doesn't leave insurance. Doesn't stay for the police. He ran.

By this point, one of the witnesses already has clear pictures of his vehicle and license plate. He's reported to the police, and they put out a call to find him.

Spouse calls me shortly after this. Call our vet. We got hit. We need to get Newton to a vet. So I call our vet. It's 6:30. They're closed for the night. But they were there for accounting stuff. They give me the number for the emergency vet. I call ahead. Tell them we'll be coming, but that I don't know what the injuries are. Just that a car was involved.

I go hop in our car. Drive a block and a half to the scene. There's two fire trucks. There's police cars. Traffic's doing that bottlenecking thing. I park and run over. Instantly get hugged by the witness who'd gotten involved. My spouse is sitting on the sidewalk. One piece. Looks okay. My dog's wrapped in sheets. She's awake. Looking around. What I could understand of her body language was a mixture of pain, but excitement because there's people paying attention to her. And oh how Newton adored every ounce of attention she could beg for.

The witness, we'll call her S now. S volunteers to come with my spouse and I to the emergency animal clinic. She sits in the back of my car while the firemen load poor newton in. Spouse comes with me, even though the firemen wanted them to go to the ER. We agree to go to the ER once we got Newton settled. S's family, two men who I presume to be husband and father, possibly, follow in their car behind us.

We get there. The vet techs wisk Newton off to the back. They need to do xrays. They need someone to stay and talk out costs. S volunteers to take Spouse to the ER. Spouse agrees to go. So I stay at the vet by myself. They settle me in a room, where I text friends updates about all this. I'm scared. And all I wanted was to hug my dog.

The vet shows up after a bit. She's very calm, very kind, and amazingly empathetic. She explains that Newton wasn't succumbing to the medicine as quickly as they'd like. She's too excited. Too many new people to meet. Gets excited every time someone comes into the room. Classic Newton. So, they only got the xrays from the one side at that time.

Her spine is fine. But a hip is shattered. There's shards. One hip is also dislocated. My heart's in my stomach. Vet explains that if it's just the one leg shattered, they can amputate. But if it's both, then it's not good. She explains that the dislocation would have to be fixed via surgery. It can't just be popped back in. She explains that our town doesn't have an orthopedic surgeon for dogs. We'd have to go to one of two major cities, two hours away. The vet then explains that she'll get better xrays, once the meds kick in and they can roll Newton over without causing her more pain. So, she draws up the treatment plan for the next twenty four hours. I leave the deposit for the cost of the care. She says she'll call me when she's got more data. And when she's talked to surgeons offices.

And then I go to the ER, trying to not cry because my dog will probably never run or jump, ever again. She's an aussie. They run. They jump. They're energetic. Newton would bounce all over the place in front of our patio door, to greet our neighbors as they walked past. She was constantly knocking down blinds from our hanging blinds there. She loved to play fetch. We've got a long hallway we'd throw tennis balls down, and she'd go chase them and run back. She'd never do any of that again.

I get to the ER. I tell my spouse. They're heartbroken. I call our auto insurance, at the nurse's request, to start that process, while we wait for the doctor to come back from the xrays. When the doctor comes, he says Spouse is fine. No breaks, fractures, or internal injuries. Might have bruising show up in a day or two. So, we're given pain medication to handle that. To note, no bruises have yet appeared, a week later. Spouse physically feels fine. Emotionally is another matter.

So, we go home. We cry. We try to settle down. It's been two and a half hours since my spouse left the house to go on that walk. I make my posts here. We make posts on Facebook. We get an outpouring of concern, love, and prayers, from friends and family alike.

By midnight, I get a call from the vet. They have the rest of the xrays. Both hips are injured. One shattered, one fractured. And then there's the dislocation. There does not appear to be any internal injury though. She'd gotten ahold of both surgical centers in the two nearby cities. Both hospitals can do surgery. But they both would require about ten thousand dollars to do it. And, they both note that Newton is eleven. She's classified as a senior dog, despite her energy and good health. She'd never be the same. Therapy after surgery might not be enough. The neat wheels some dogs get, might not be enough. There's no guarantee that her quality of life would be enough, that she wouldn't suffer.

So, I talk to my spouse. And we're breaking. She's been our family for eleven years. We call back. Make the decision, get ready, and go to the clinic. We get to hug her and pet her. We get to give her a few last good treats. We cry. And we get to hold her as she goes to sleep for the last time.

And then we go home again. We still don't know if they've arrested the driver. There isn't a report on the police website yet. We manage, somehow, to sleep. Not very well on my part. By the next morning, there's a police report. The man was arrested and charged with a hit and run.

I try to call our auto insurance back. The adjuster we were assigned to the nigh before, is out of the office for the weekend. So, I wait and then call back on Monday. We start that whole process. She starts contacting the driver's insurance. We talk to the police department and get told we can get ahold of the city prosecutor in a week. We start the process to get a lawyer.

We celebrate Christmas with our son. He doesn't live at home now. Got his own place. And a dog of his own there. He brings her over when he comes. And for a few hours, we're able to cuddle and play with a sweet dog again. It's not the same. It hurts a little. But it heals a little too.

Today is my birthday. And today I get to go pay the company that handled Newton's cremation. And pick up the clay pawprint that they made for me. Happy birthday to me. I know my Newton is no longer in pain. And that she was her beautiful smiley self, right to the last moment. I will miss her forever. But I know that we'll be okay. Eventually.

If you've read this far, and you feel the need to do something, or say something, then feel free to tag me in posts of cute dogs or cats, or other animals. Or, if you're wanting to do a more monetary action, maybe donate to organizations like the Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary. That's what I'm doing for my Facebook Birthday Fundraiser. You don't have to give through mine specifically. You don't even have to give to them in particular. Heck, you don't even have to tell me about it. I just appreciate that there are groups like theirs, that can provide good quality of life, to senior dogs, who have that chance.

And for anyone wondering if we're going to get another dog, we are. We put in an application at our local humane society. It might feel fast. But it's so quiet in here now. We need someone to carry Newton's torch onwards. We've looked at a few dogs already. We've not found our one, yet. But we're looking.

Thank you for reading all this. I'm sorry if this post was difficult for you in anyway. I've got a lot of mourning left to do. So for now:

Goodbye my sweet, silly girl.

Newton 2008-2019

[solar-born]

ACD & The Destiny RP Community

Since the new DLC dropped and a lot of people have joined or come back to the Destiny role player community- I would ask that you read this and read all of it. 

I’m not here to make a scene. I’m not here to cause “drama.”

But, everyone deserves to have a safe community to explore and role play in.

To those new, you deserve to know who the user acomedicdreg (ACD) is. 

Acomedicdreg has 

harassed people constantly through anon or otherwise 

harassed minors for nudes 

suicide-baited

constantly gone against the “use of services” by making constant throwaway accounts to message and further harass people

made hateblogs for himself

played victim

blamed his behavior on disability rather than taking responsibility for his actions

been shown to be transphobic  

just been a general fucking asshole

If you would like evidence or would like to know more ask literally anyone that’s been here over a year or visit @makeofitwhatyouwill00

ACD tends to follow the same cycle over and over and over and over. Right now he is under username @lord-of-fluff and he is mass following any and every destiny role player. Despite being told by many of them to leave them alone. So, if he follows you, and you do not want to be gaslighted and abused block him. He will message you acting every bit the child that he is. He will harass you for your skype or discord information. He will play the victim. Because here I am one of the people “bullying” him again. Making him out to be such an awful, awful, guy.

He’s not a good person, and I would advise that if you still want to “give him a chance” you be cautious. You will probably end up suffering from any relationship you have with him. Especially, if you suffer from mental illness. I’d actually highly advise against it as I have seen people harassed by him over the course of almost 2 years.

I am not a babysitter, and I ultimately don’t care what you do.

If you think he’s ‘changed’ then please unfollow me. It’s not because I don’t think he can. It’s because I have watched this cycle. Been a part of this cycle for 2 years. Anyone can change but you have to want to and he has shown me time and time again he will not. And, I don’t have to forgive him even if he did.

If you think this post is “problematic” then you can unfollow me. But, understand I’m not trying to start a witch hunt.

I don’t want people to talk trash to him. I don’t want anyone to talk to him at all.

I don’t want people to give him attention.

I want him to leave or at the least keep to himself which he will not do considering how he is mass following people.

I want a good and safe community for everyone. But, I can’t police this fandom for him. 

That being said, if you would like to PM about him or this feel free.

I normally tag all of my ACD stuff “gremlin discourse.” And, I will continue to do so in the future. But not this one. 

[quatrepourtoiglencoco]

A semi-old fart and her fandom pet peeves...

1) Over-tagging. Say, for example, your post concerns one character and/or the actor who plays him/her/them. It makes sense to tag the character (if the post is about the character). It makes sense to tag the actor (if the post is about another project that the actor is involved in that is not the character they are most known for). It makes sense to tag the project associated with the post. If the post is about one specific character and/or one specific actor from a show, there is no need to tag every single actor and character from the show.

For example, if you are making a post about Chris Colfer meeting your little nephew who comes to one of his book signings dressed up as Kurt Hummel, it makes sense to tag Chris's name, the title of Chris's book, and Kurt Hummel (because the little kid is dressed like Kurt). You don't need to tag Lea Michele, Darren Criss, Naya Rivera, etc. unless they are in the picture as well. It's not going to get you more notes on tumblr, it's going to get your post blocked because people are sick of seeing unrelated posts in the tags for their favorites. People who have certain characters/actors blacklisted through Tumblr Savior or XKit might also miss out on your perfectly innocent post because you tagged that actor even though they aren’t in the picture. For example, say there is someone who is a big fan of Chris and Kurt, but they have Naya’s name blacklisted because she’s most famous for playing Santana, and the fan found Santana’s treatment of Kurt objectionable and gets sad whenever they see her face. If you tag the whole cast, that person is not going to see your precious nephew meeting Chris because your post got lost in their blacklist. The same thing goes for characters who are played by multiple people. Davey Jacobs is my favorite character in Newsies. If you're making a gifset of all the actors who played him, it makes sense to tag "Davey Jacobs" and the names of all the actors who played him in the various iterations of the movie/show. If your gifset or post exclusively features/discusses Ben Fankhauser and/or his particular portrayal of Davey, you do not need to tag Jeremy (Greenbaum), Jacob or Stephen in the post.

2) Tagging multiple characters/actors/ships in a controversial post just to get a rise out of people. There is a bit of an overlap with the overtagging here as the offenders tend to be the same. My examples here are the "Marvin discourse" in Falsettos and the identity discourse in Newsies. Marvin is written as gay and is referred to by other characters in the show as "homosexual." He divorces his wife because he wants to be with a man (who, technically, he was already with if Trina's account in "I'm Breaking Down" is correct). However, the character description on a few different character breakdown sites claims he is bisexual. These sites are not "gospel" and are generally not written by the creators of the projects themselves. While sexuality can certainly be fluid, Marvin's marriage to a woman and successful conception of a child seems to be a result of closeted behavior rather than bisexuality. The majority of the Falsettos fandom seems to accept that Marvin is gay, but occasionally there will be someone who INSISTS he's bi (not that there's anything wrong with being bisexual) and fills EVERY SINGLE FALSETTOS-RELATED TAG with it for attention.

With Newsies, there's a strong contingent of people who headcanon the less-developed background newsies (and sometimes the lead newsies and their friends and siblings) as LGBT. I haven't seen the movie in probably 20 years (I thought it was boring which is why I had no intention of seeing it live until one of my dearest friends booked the tour) so the characters in the movie-verse might have done something that was very clearly gay that I missed when I was in sixth grade, but I didn't catch anything particularly "gay" in the stage version although if the writers had gone the Jack/Crutchie route I could sort of understand it based on their interactions. That being said, unless someone is blatantly making stuff up or ripping Katherine or Sarah apart for the tiniest little flaw to blow a hole in Jack/Katherine or Jack/Sarah to justify why they ship Jack/Davey or Jack/Crutchie or Jack/Race or whatever, headcanoning characters as gay really isn't hurting anyone. If some gay kid in the middle of nowhere sees a lot of himself in Crutchie and wants to imagine a world where Crutchie is EXACTLY like him (well, apart from being born in a different century), it's not a bad thing.

I'm younger than most film-Newsies fans but I'm a lot older than most stage-Newsies fans. I was well into my twenties before I joined ANY fandom, and while there are characters I share some similarities with, I can enjoy them and identify with them without needing them to be exactly like me and filling holes in their descriptions with my personal identity traits or with traits I know the actor behind them has but that haven't been specified for their character. That being said, I know that there are other people who do feel more connected to a character they like if they see the character's canon struggles through the lens of a not-necessarily-canon identity (in the case of gender/sexuality/ethnicity) or diagnosis (in terms of a mental illness or developmental disorder). Like, OK, yeah, MOST of the newsboys in 1899 New York were probably cishet neurotypical males and a lot of them were white-passing if not outright white. The thing is, people KNOW that. Posting that and then tagging every single character and actor in the show, even if it's historically accurate, is just going to make you look like a dick (because these are literally just FICTIONAL CHARACTERS and you're screaming "MINE, NOT YOURS!" in people's faces), whereas the people who have headcanons of Jack as mixed race or Davey as autistic or Spot as transgender aren't posting their headcanons to be dicks. That being said, I don't know how many people (I'd wager most, but not all) of the people who headcanon characters with not-explicitly-canon identities actually belong to the identity communities themselves. I don't think it's wrong for a gay autistic trans kid to see Spot Conlon and go "ooh, what if he was gay and autistic and trans like me?" but if it's a straight neurotypical person (and by a straight person, I mean, an actual straight person, not someone who is questioning or closeted gay/lesbian/bi/pan) going "ALL YOUR FAVES ARE GAY! AND TRANS! AND AUTISTIC!" and tagging every single fandom they are in, it reads as a little fetishistic but that's just me.

3) "Rares" blogs posting pictures that aren't rares. If an actor posts an in-costume selfie with his castmates to his instagram during the process of creating a show or after the show is finished, it's not a "rare," even if the first time YOU'VE particularly seen it is two years after the show goes off the air and five years after he posted it. The same goes for someone who is involved in the project from a production aspect (like, for example, Joaquin or Kalen from Glee). A rare would be something that a friend-of-a-celebrity or a fan posted on a public social media account (like Twitter or Instagram) of the celebrity at a party or involved in something they did before their "big break." For example, I think if someone were to be like "hey, oh crap, I just remembered I went to see NLT years ago and I have a selfie with Kevin McHale when he was a teenager that I've never posted," THAT would be a rare. If someone posted a picture of Darren from his study abroad in Italy, that would be a rare. Posting a picture from the Glee set that's been tweeted or Instagrammed (sometimes multiple times) by the actors themselves is not "posting a rare."

4) This sort of could be combined with number 1, but it's more about Instagram/Twitter than Tumblr. It's one thing to make a cool edit of a character or an actor and tag them in it. Like, for example, Stephanie Styles and Drew Gehling were just in a stage production of Roman Holiday. Photoshopping their faces onto the film actors' bodies on the movie poster is a cool edit and I'm sure they would love to be tagged in something like that. Maybe you drew a picture of Brittana from Glee having a picnic and giving each other flowers; there's nothing wrong with tagging Heather and Naya in that. Maybe you identify a lot with Evan Hansen and make an "Evan Hansen aesthetic post" and want Ben Platt to see. Whatever, that's fine. What is overkill is when people literally just post screenshots from a TV show/movie/Broadway bootleg or steal pictures from actors' Instagrams or OTHER PEOPLE'S EDITS and have a completely unrelated caption like "uggggggggh I have so much math homework" or "my stepdad is being a dick and says I can't go see (insert movie here)" and tag the actors just because they happen to be in the picture. Sometimes people look in the actor tags on Instagram for news on their fave that might not be announced yet (for example, someone else from a project an actor is working on tagging them in a BTS picture) but it gets swamped under the same screenshot of the Newsies seizing the day or Klaine kissing or Andrew Rannells standing over Christian Borle with what appears to be a boner or Ben Cook doing the splits while Josh Burrage makes a goofy face in the background OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. Sometimes a fan is having a hard time and all they want is to be noticed by their favorite cast member of a show, but their friends' post petitioning the actor to wish them a happy birthday is swamped under 900 notifications of the same unedited screenshot. I have a friend who will sometimes post an old Newsies photo and go on an unrelated rant underneath, but she doesn't tag the actors or the show, so it's fine. If you didn't make the edit, don't post the edit (like, even if you credit whoever made it, someone else might steal it from you and they won't). If you HAVE to post a picture from a show with an unrelated caption, don't tag the actors. It's annoying as hell, and I suspect it contributes a lot to why a lot of them pull away from Instagram.

5) Roleplay blogs clogging up the tags, and then people creating blogs specifically to ADVERTISE their roleplay blogs when they know the actual blogs themselves are getting blocked. Also, FACEBOOK ROLEPLAYS. Facebook won't even let a lot of trans people change their name without a shit load of documentation, but it seems fine with people pretending to be fictional characters and celebrities and changing their FB handles to (insert first name) (insert embarrassing RPF ship portmanteau). Facebook is for real people and businesses, and I can SORT of see making a FB profile for a baby or a pet to have a place where only certain people can access photos and information (since most people have FB but not everyone has Instagram). Also, some of the roleplay scenarios people have are seriously fucked up and racist/ableist/both. YIKES.

[stebridgwater35]

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It could come in handy if your student budget needs a boost, or if you want to find some bargains.TheBookPond.comThe Book Pond allows you to sell your old academic textbooks or buy the ones you need from other students who are ready to pass them on.Amazon.comAmazon sells everything under the sun, including books, e-books and textbooks you may need for your program. However, its critics say it’s damaging to independent bookstores, so you may want to consider using your local store instead of always shopping online.Gumtree.comGumtree advertises jobs, second-hand goods, properties and services for people around the UK. If you’re a student in the UK, it can be a good place to search for part-time job opportunities, look for accommodation, sell things you don’t need any more, or even swap goods or skills.Craigslist.comThe global version of Gumtree, Craigslist is big in the US and has many city/area divisions, so you can find listings close to you.Freecycle.orgThis online platform allows you to give away your unwanted things or get your hands on what other people are giving away. Handy for furniture and general bric-a-brac.Local Time :Check any country local time now.Groupon.comGroupon offers daily deals on things such as spa days, fancy restaurants and city breaks. It’s not exactly the place to go to for the essentials of student life, but it’s a good way to treat yourself at the end of a stressful exam period, perhaps.MoneySavingExpert.comMoneySavingExpert has advice on everything from cheap flights to the best bank interest rates, helping your student budget stretch further.Mint.comFree to use, Mint can help you organize your finances and track your spending.MyVoucherCodes.co.ukMyVoucherCodes offers vouchers and discounts for a huge number of retail stores and restaurants within the UK. If you’re in the US, RetailMeNot is the place to go. (GMT to EST)UniDays.comJust one of many student websites offering discounts, UniDays lists thousands of student discounts and offers around the globe. It’s free to join and also available as an app.WiseBread.comWiseBread is dedicated to living well on a tight budget – whether you’re a student or just trying to get more for your money. It offers advice on everything from debt management to growing your own fruit and vegetables.Genius.com poetryAn offshoot of Rap Genius, Lit Genius is a place where scholars have formed a community to annotate poetry and literature, both classic and recent. It’s an extremely helpful resource for English literature students in particular.TED.comTED hosts thought-provoking talks given at events all over the world on the core topics of technology, entertainment and design – but in fact covering pretty much every aspect of human experience. The TED site is where you can find all the videos of these talks. They’re another good procrastination device, but you may also find some inspiration for your next essay.Wikipedia.orgAlthough your tutors will tell you never to reference Wikipedia in assignments, the collaboratively edited encyclopedia project can be a very useful tool for early-stage research into your assignment or project.Bartleby.comBartleby publishes classic literature, poetry, non-fiction and reference texts free of charge.Gutenberg.orgSimilarly, Project Gutenberg provides free online access to texts whose copyright has expired; so far, it’s digitized more than 56,000 texts.Wolframalpha.Com :Computational Search For Your KeywordsQuizlet :Free online flashcards for learning vocabulary..Diigo :Collect, share,and interact on information from anywhere on the Web.SimplyNoise.Com :Just Plain Sounds To Help You Sleep.Rhymer.Com :Find Rhyme For Any Word! Cool Tool For PoetsQClock :Find Local Time Of A Place.Picasa :A free image editing and organization tool from Google. via /r/UsefulWebsites

[ofdragondrumsmobile]

Rules

HEAD’S UP:

To all of my “loyal followers”: I know you may feel familiar with my rules, but please skim them on every blog you follow. In particular, you will need to scroll down and read everything below the “Guilt-Free Icons” section as they change for each blog. Everything else, yes, will stay the same. Thank you for your time and thank you for following so many of my blogs!

To those of you who are new, thank you for taking the time for stopping by. I know--I know these rules are long, but I've had them tested by many friends to ensure that they are all necessary. There is no password, so please take your time and I'll see you on the other side!

LAST RULE UPDATE: December 09, 2018

Mun

General

My name is Kymani, but most people call me “Kaichu”, “Kai”, or “Ky”. Go with whichever you like! Please note, however, that I will only sign my blogs and asks with "Ky" or the occasional "Kaichu" so as not to be confused with the many 'Kai' users in the world. So if you ever see someone claim to be me while using that spelling... they a lie, fam.

I use she/her pronouns and am a cis female so feel free to correct me if I make any -phobic booboos.

Mun is over 25. I’m happy to share my real age, but not so much to update this with every birthday.

My discord is (not very) selectively available to mutuals. If you choose not to exchange this with me, this is more than fine; please just be aware that I blog hop very inconsistently so I may be hard to reach.

Mun faceclaims are Raichu, Marina (Splatoon 2), Iridessa, and occasionally Kagome Higurashi or Jerry Mouse.

You can find links to all of my other active characters on my mun page.

Health

I have several physical and mental disabilities. These include, but are not limited to, Sickle Cell Anemia, Asthma, Depression, Anxiety, and moderate OCD.

Note that there are some things that will trigger my OCD and therefore I will often choose not to follow you for or unfollow for. They include but are not limited to: uncut posts; icons that aren’t circles or squares (circles/squares with excessive decoration are FINE); using full-sized reaction images; and/or a general lack of organization on the blog. Most of these can be addressed, but I will never pressure a mun to change their style or format for me.

I will generally make or have someone make update posts informing you of my hospitalizations. Sometimes I forget, though. In any case, if I’ve made it clear that I am feeling unwell, do NOT hassle me for replies or an explanation of my situation. I will block people for this.

Be aware: I am a chronically ill person with many, many characters whose writing schedule is dictated by both her health and muse. I will forget things and disappear/reappear for weeks to even a month at a time from my blogs. As well, I may be very obviously selective/biased, so if this will upset you, my blogs are not for you.

Also note: it is not uncommon for me to unfollow and refollow people but this is not intentional. As I manage tens of blogs, it is easy to forget which blog people will follow me on. If you notice me doing this, feel free to message me and/or block that account.

Also, it is incredibly important to understand that due to the fact that I have been on opioids since I was a child, I have impaired memory. I can and will forget things we’ve discussed/written and I just ask for your patience and understanding on this.

I am open to answering questions regarding my health, but I expect you to both know the basics about the diseases and have read THIS PAGE before you approach me.

Last on this point but HUGELY important: please do not approach me with questions or jokes about how many muses I write. It's officially at the point where it's only okay or funny if I do it. Cause the thing is I know you mean it as a complement. I know you do. But the answer, for the record, to that question is this: "The cold hard fact is that I'm no longer healthy enough to attend school or work. So I am at home all day every day with the time (if I am well) to run as many muses as I please and it may be the only thing keeping me sane." So please, just don't make the joke. I'll joke along with you, I'll try not to make you as sad as you just made me, but it makes me really sad to think about and I have to stop pretending it doesn't.

Personals

Do:

Go ahead and follow! I don’t mind as long as you follow the rules. (Breaking them consistently enough to notice will lead to a block though.)

Like RPs if you like them. (But try to make sure my partner’s okay with that, too!)

Send in memes and questions; just don’t expect them to turn into a thread or anything.

Tell me if you’re following on behalf of a side RP blog cause I won’t check/know otherwise! (Only matters if you follow first.)

Don’t:

Reblog my promos.

Reblog my OOC posts.

Reblog my roleplays.

Following

This is a selective and private blog. This means I don’t follow everyone and I only RP with mutuals.

Please do not message me asking for an RP if we are not mutuals. I understand that you’re just reaching out, but it really makes me anxious and I will feel extremely guilty. Therefore, all messages of this kind will be deleted. Repeated attempts will lead to a block.

I will not follow blogs without a rules page. Very rare exceptions are made for blogs that I know for fact are mobile-only. I am slightly more lenient when it comes to about pages, but only if there is significant writing on the blog for me to read through instead.

I am OC and selectively crossover friendly.

I’m cool with multimuse blogs as long as your muses each have an about page for me to read over. I won’t be making exceptions here (unless i already know the writer) simply because I find it impractical to go through the blog and look for writing for each specific muse I want to interact with.

I may several weeks to follow back. This may be due to illness or just not noticing because of how many blogs I run.

I eventually unfollow mutual-only blogs who have not followed me back. This is simply because I like to know I can RP with those on my dash and nothing more.

I do not follow blogs that exclusively use real-life faceclaims (rlfcs). I will also not RP with rlfcs, so if you have a verse that only uses a rlfc, I won’t RP with it. Please note that this applies to people roleplaying live-action characters, as well. Thanks for understanding.

Interaction & Replies

I am EXTREMELY selective about roleplaying with muns under the age of eighteen. Trying to deceive me about your age will lead to a BLOCK.

I am open to using messaging for OOC interaction at all times. IC interactions must be agreed upon beforehand.

All of my open starters and starter calls are for mutuals only unless otherwise stated. Repeated offenses for non-mutuals liking my starter calls will lead to a block.

I go through my thread tracker periodically and try to keep my total thread count (across all accounts) under 11O. I will try to message my partners about threads I drop but understand that I may not always have the energy to do so. You are always welcome to ask about the status of our threads so long as you remain polite and tactful.

Shipping

My blogs will always be multiship.

With that said, I’m on some occasions a ship-exclusive kind of girl. That means I’ll ship with one version of each character. I will always announce if this is going to be the case.

I like my ships to develop naturally, so even if it seems like I prioritize friends, know that you can always shoot me an ask and as long as it’s not a notp I’m always open to tossing the characters at each other and giving it a shot.

Tags & Triggers

My blogs are never spoiler-free. For TV-show based blogs, the most recent episode aired in its native language will be tagged as a spoiler until the next episode airs. For games, I tag and try to readmore spoilers for a few months. Threads themselves may or may not be tagged if the line is sort of blurry. Always, therefore, read with caution.

I am blocking the tag #Ky Don’t Look/#Ky Dont Look for phobias related to penises, water, and a few other things. It is imperative that you read over my BLOCKED TAGS AND TRIGGERS for full details.

These triggers are often related to trauma and can give me panic attacks and/or depressive episodes. I will gently remind you a few times, but if it becomes a repeated issue, I will unfollow.

If you need anything special tagged or I’ve forgotten something, please let me know! I won’t bite.

NSFW & Smut

Many of my blogs will contain nsfw themes including but not limited to: themes of depression, violence, bullying, etc. These are rarely (if ever) tagged but can be by request.

Blogs that are considered to be “trigger-heavy” will always have their own disclaimer.

I will only be writing sexual nsfw on discord with 18+ muns that I am comfortable with.

Regarding smut: sometimes it’s difficult for me, sometimes it’s not. I can be extremely squeamish regarding the topic, so I’m very fickle when it comes to these threads. I ask, very simply, that partners who engage in these types of threads with me understand that it is common for me not to finish these threads and I ask that they do not push for replies on these. (Like, ever.) It will make me more self-conscious and, if I’m already panicking about a reply, it will only make it worse.

With that said, I would appreciate it if you didn’t baby me by disallowing me to write these threads. If it makes you personally uncomfortable to write them with me, that’s fine. But it has been deemed a safe and valuable practice by my counselor for me to continue to explore this subject so that, hopefully, I will become more and more comfortable with it. (And, you'll be comforted to know that I am already seeing progress!) So when I’m interested in writing sexual nsfw, please don’t feel as though you need to shy away from me!

Aside from all of that, general rules apply: I won’t write sexual nsfw with anyone under the age of eighteen. (Although with that said, given my age, I tend to prefer my smut partners to be twenty-one and older. This is a soft rule, though, as my comfort with the partner outweighs a numerical value.) I also will not write any other kind of nsfw with anyone under the age of sixteen.

Activism & “Drama”

In this house, discussion about x-isms, x-phobias, and injustices as it relates to the roleplay community and/or the fandom is NOT considered drama and therefore it will NOT be tagged as such. HOWEVER:

While most of my blogs will NOT have a tag for it at all, should it come up, I will create an #activism tag for the blog. So yes, you will have a tag to block if you are genuinely discomforted by the conversation, but no, I will not conflate it with “drama”.

If you’re reading this on writtenbykaichu or a blog that features a dark-skinned person of color, please be aware that issues such as these are much more likely to be discussed.

Guilt-Free Icons

Yes, I am a mod at guiltfreeicons–Jerry Mod, to be exact.

I will, on very rare occasions, make posts regarding taking requests. Those posts are considered active for 48 hours after the ORIGINAL post was made.

If you need to ask a question about GFI, first read the rules. Then, try contacting us here. If that doesn’t work, contact us here. Most importantly:

Never ever I mean NEVER message me or any of the other mods regarding guiltfreeicons (or making icons for you on the side) on any of our personal or roleplay blogs. We WILL auto-block over this.

Miscellaneous

When it comes to battles, I write with a mix of Anime & Game canon. For that reason, I expect to have full communication with my partners throughout the battle.

I’m always open to writing Gym/Championship Battles, but I’ll only write one or two at a time.

Underestimating my character will just generally lead to a bad time.

Note that there will likely continue to be a lot of Iris and Pokeani related salt on this blog. It’s always tagged, but you have been warned.

Always always always plot out fight threads with me. We don’t have to come up with things step-by-step ahead of time, but I expect to stay in contact with you throughout so that we can be on the same terms with where we’re going and who’s doing what.

Credits

This theme was designed and coded by Kas.

The bulk of my Iris icons are credited to myself and my partners at guiltfreeicons. The rest can be found at: animexiconxdump, aureajuniper, bramblepaw, marshmallows-pokemon-icons, pokecafehouse, pokemoniconhunts, and senbeiedits. 

Credits for Kagome Higurashi icons can be found here. All edits were made by me and are for my own personal use.

Most of my Raichu icons were gifted to me by thunderstonereject. If you would like access to these icons, you will need to ask them for their permission. Any public-use icons I have can be found at guiltfreeicons. All edits were made by me and are for my own personal use.

All Jerry icons were cropped and edited by me for my own personal use.

Verse image credits here.

The artwork on this theme was commissioned by me from nerdinsandals and is for my personal use.

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