#theceoofrusa

[ruby3818]

I have something I really need to get off my chest that I’ve put off for years now but can’t ignore anymore. Under a read more so you can skip it and tagged #negative so you can block it. Maybe this might clear some things up or at least get my side of the story out there. Please read this before making any decision about me from what you’ve heard from someone else.

I am aware that Cap, who I used to be friends with but had to leave the friendship because of their controllive obsession with me is still saying lies about how I “abandoned them” in public forums. Even going as far as to ask my franticshipping mutuals to block me (how she knows who my mutuals are is anyone's guess since I’ve had her blocked for over three years now??). If you see her do this please stop enabling them!! Over the years people have made her feel ok to get aggressive about my very existence and tell her that they are “valid” for feeling jealousy. All it does is reassure her that it is ok to behave like that and not be held accountable for their actions. Cap does not need validation, she needs help.

I have begged her multiple times over the past few years to leave me alone and stop saying stuff about me on public forums but every time she promises to stop I hear from someone else that they're still doing it. Things like; making up stuff that I apparently said in a dream treated as fact, telling my mutuals to block me, saying that I’ve apparently replaced her, telling everyone that I abandoned her, etc.

Because of her I not only lost them as a friend but every single other friend I had because they either believe the lies or they're scared of upsetting Cap who flies into a rage at the very mention of me.

I really tried to help her and then when the jealousy, gas lighting, violent mood swings and controlling behavior got too much for me and everyone else who tried to help I had to do what was best for both of us and leave the friendship.

I've tried for three years now to be the better person and not talk about what should be our personal problems but it's just blown up in my face with no one believing me or wanting to get involved and everyone enabling them (which is triggering to irl experiences but that's another story).

And I do understand that maybe a lot of this frustration I feel is because of the pattern of people abusing me and then everyone around me forcing me to forgive them and be around them for the sake of their feelings leading to the same damn cycle of me being helpless and feeling like a burden for not putting up with it.. It just sucks that even online I have to deal with it when this should be a safe place away from all that. But I also know what emotional abuse looks like due to irl experiences and I know that this is not acceptable behavior. This is abuse. And the only way to stop an abuser is to get their behavior out in the open and have other people know what they’ve been doing.

It also really sucks that the whole reason I couldn’t stand being friends with her was because I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone else and if I did they would blow into a rage and yet 3 whole years later I still am not allowed to talk to anyone otherwise I’m “replacing them” leading her to tell any potential new friends to block me (Somehow she is finding out who my new mutuals are on Tumblr, Twitter and Discord and dm’ing them to block me which is what some of these mutuals have come forward to tell me). She still has that control over me and I’m sick of it. I just want to move on.

I hate having to tip toe around the fandom not knowing what they’ve said about me to mutuals. I just want to be able to talk to people and have them know the full story and not some fabricated story of abandonment or random crap I apparently said in a dream of theirs.

As for what they did in the past, here’s my side of the story and why I had to leave the friendship;

They would always get jealous when I talked to other people and threaten to kill them self because "I'm just going to replace them". It became such a constant thing that I couldn’t even talk at all in a public server without there being a big drama about it. They even ended up being banned from Specord for their constant harassment of me.

Whenever I would bring this up and ask her (or beg) to not get upset and let me talk to people they would act like they had no idea what I was talking about and say that my depression is making me think crazy things. Even though other people saw it and I also had screenshots I still believed them because (being mentally ill) I really can't trust myself. I've been gas-lighted by people in my family my whole life so this was too triggering to handle on a daily basis so I needed out of the friendship.

She constantly suicide-baited me into taking her back and then made every conversation we had about suicide and self harm. Whenever she felt bad about something I said to her in a dream or if I talked to someone else she would tell me happily how she cut herself “for me” because it was supposed to show me that she loved me and that she somehow deserved it. The constant talk of suicide became too triggering to my own mental health and struggle with suicidal thought that I had to get out of the relationship.

For so long they would make up lies about how I abandoned them leading me to receive death threats from strangers telling me to kill myself, people blocking me and all my friends no longer talking to me so it doesn't upset them. So in the end they still had that control over me.

They even told me in our last conversation (over two years ago) that they were right for overreacting over me talking to anyone else besides them because I "shouldn't be talking to other people anyway". They even went as far to tell me that they hated how I was "popular" and basically wanted to be like me whilst also destroying me.

I know that I could of been a better friend but with my c-ptsd and her own mental health problems it just became a toxic mix. The very mention of my name or seeing my posts or comments at all just sends her into violent mood-swings. I couldn’t handle being emotionally abused on a daily basis and I needed out of the relationship. And I get that they still have friends that care about them, that’s good! They’re going to need the support if they’re ever going to improve as a person and move on from this.

So what is the point of this post? Well mostly just to get this pent up helplessness out into the open so maybe someone might understand. The other reason is that I am sick to death of having to be known as the bad guy just because I tried to do what I thought was the right thing by walking away. I want to be able to makes friends and not have to worry about Cap finding out and sabotaging it for me. I want the hate asks to stop. I want people who I thought were my friends to stop blocking me because of something they heard.

This is a selfish request but I also want people to stand up to her for once and stop her from spreading lies about me in public and feeding her delusions. I want her to know that she can’t bully, manipulate and emotionally abuse people in to a friendship and that she doesn’t get to decide who I can interact with. But mostly I hope that by getting this out in the open maybe this might finally come to an end and we can both move on.

Naturally she’s gone and deleted all of her dm’s with me but I do still have some screen shots that might help people understand. I won’t include any dm’s with other users but my DM’s are open if you need more clarification.

First off her finally agreeing to tell the truth (which she never ended up doing evidentely)

She always worshiped me as someone I wasn’t and thought that she had to be like me to be a successful person but it ended up blowing up into a full blown obsession around being me.

She always said she acknowledged that how she treated me was wrong but she still kept doing it like she couldn’t control herself... I kept thinking that maybe her therapy would help her and we could go back to how it was before but she just kept getting worse with her obsession.

This was the other Cap.. the one that wouldn’t acknowledge what she was doing at all and would tell me I was making it up out of paranoia

These are some screenshots that were sent to me of some of the stuff she was saying about me on other servers?? She would always treat the stuff that I did in her dreams as stuff I actually said but, idk how to control what I say in her dreams?? I would never in my life say this kind of stuff about anyone??

Due to the pic limit I will include other screenshots in a reblog.

If you need any more clarification or just want to talk don’t be afraid to ask. Hopefully this can be cleared up finally and I can be free from her control. She needs to be held accountable for her actions and she needs to move on for the sake of her own mental health as well as for mine.

[saywha413]

Chloe: You look wonderful today, Goh!

Goh, confused: You didn’t even look at me. How can you tell?

Chloe: Oh, believe me, I can tell just by looking at Ash. 

Ash: *blushing from across the room*

(Original quote by @theceoofrusa)

[mythgirlimagines]

Get to know me better tag!

Thank you @celestial-nova for tagging me! I love tag games!

rule: tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better

Top 3 ships: Specialshipping, Percabeth, and Tokomaru! Special and Percabeth have been my everything since elementary

Lipstick or chaptstick: Unpopular opinion, but lipgloss! I'm allergic to most chapstick, and while I love lipstick, it doesn't taste the best.

Last song I listened to: The opening song from The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals since I forced my sister to finally watch at least that first part

Last film I watched: Frozen II! We convinced my dad to watch :)

Currently reading: Surprisingly, nothing. I just finished a book today and I have a wait list, it's just deciding which I want to start.

What show(s) are you currently watching: More or less whatever is on TV, I'm not actively watching any series in particular

Tagging @ambrechandra @uninvited-eon @saiharakaede @lyrical-egg @randomlypeaceful @theceoofrusa @vexx-ation @sugarkanz and @nycwebswinger

[theceoofrusa]

What's your twitter @? ^^

It's the same as my tumblr blog but here's the link just in case. :D

Warning: I tweet nonsense stuff :' )

https://twitter.com/TheCEOofRuSa

[brave-symphonia]

theceoofrusa replied to your post “So that’s why he wears the hat, to cover up the scar. Nooo! Don’t go...”

He's protecting Sapphire, don't worry. Even though his heart is on the right track yet his decision-making is wrong, he's still doing it to protect Sapphire.

Yeah, I figured his reasons were for Sapphire’s sake and I understand that. I still want them to team up and defeat the legendaries together though.

[belleandkurtbastian]

wait i thought i bought the shield version pic.twitter.com/KAkJq2Ei4e

— CEO of RuSa/Franticshipping/ルサ | B/L/M 👊 ●—● (@TheCEOofRuSa) June 15, 2020

[ruby3818]

Turns out after compiling as much posts about the anon that has been harrassing Cap and myself there is a lot of images so I’m going to compile them in a seperate post under a read more. This is as much as I know about this dumbass and the alts that I know of.

First off (excluding the ones I answered in previous asks or from deleted conversations/accounts etc) a link to an older post of about as much asks that would fit in one image.

https://ruby3818.tumblr.com/post/170998439361/no-really-anon-it-makes-me-and-my-sister-laugh

Where it all started with the Pokemon_Feels alt

The accounts they made of me on Twitter saying how I’m “famous” and apparently hate fanfiction and think that my analysis are the best thing ever. (A common theme with every one of their alts)

The follow up asks they sent me on tumblr

The Tumblr accounts they made after I called them out. Hating me for calling them out is another common theme, as well as taking it out on the people that stand up for me. (Skitty ily and thank you for always standing up for me ;-; and I’m sorry if this bastard sent you any asks). Their entire blog was multiple reblogs of Caps posts too leading me to believe they were some kind of deranged stalker at the time.

The asks I recieved on Tumblr that I didn’t answer because they mentioned Cap too. At the time I wanted to keep this between Cap and I so I ignored them. All the posts have anons theme of being obsessed with mine and Caps relationship.

Again on Twitter, whenever I make a post I end up with around 8 comments on my tweet from a privated account all at the same time. This also happens when I post an AMV on Youtube and end up with exactly 3 dislikes on my video

This is a conversation I had with another user where we were trying to work out the identity of the anon. This conversation took place before I found out that Cap was completely turning the story around to make me the guilty one which is why I’m stupidly standing up to her in this conversation.

This was the alt they used for Specord to bait me. They were also praising Cap for her fanfictions which is another trait of theirs.

More alts pretending to be the so called “hate group” they would call themselves in my Ask box on Tumblr

This weird exchange with someone that joined my server, deleted when I banned them for constantly bringing up convo’s just like this one and then rejoined with the next alt

Continued in reblog...

Part 2 reblog

[ruby3818]

I want to confess how I feel about the drama (Gotta put this anonymously but I’m a franticshipper too) with all the drama between you and her, I feel like the franticshipping fandom is very “unbalanced” or should I say, Split in to two parts. Both of you are famous and new franticshippers looked up to you both since you both are giving great contents. I am very conecered that this might continue in the ages once the fandom of Pokespe is grown.

franticshipping will be known and infamously (divided) and it will only grow the hates and MIGHT send death threats to you (theorcally her being the anon?) and there are some toxic fans (that will side on her) in the future will attack you. I’m only trusting my instincts and I’m just saying the possibility on the future, but if this drama keeps going, it will only deeply hurt you. I’m suggesting that this should be solved. Keep spreading the truth.

To the new franticshippers, don’t let them choose a side but let them understand and blend in to the franticshipping fandom (without negative grudges on you or her) by following you and her and loving the contents you both give.

Who knows that in the future Pokespe is going to be a big fandom and it will affect many Pokespe ships and that they will go against you.

I want to protect franticshipping fandom from earning the title of “the most toxic ship in Pokespe fandom)

I hope you’re doing well.

I can assure you that this won’t affect the future of franticshipping as a whole since it really doesn’t have anything to do with frantic besides both of us making content. Although I have been a little detached from the frantic fandom these past few years so I really don’t know how it is at present.

I will keep speaking up though. Cap has shown that time and distance isn’t enough to make her change her actions as I stupidly assumed these past couple of years. I stepped out of franticshipping fandom spaces, I frequent Tumblr while she is mostly on Twitter, I’m only in specord so she wouldn’t get upset and overreact by seeing me in any other Spe discord server. Yet she still tries to force me into servers she is in using alternative accounts to talk to me, joins other unrelated servers such as digimon right after I join, inboxes every person I talk to asking them to block me, inboxes any new person that posts frantic asking them to block me, vents about me saying things that aren’t even true in various servers.

She promised me in our last conversation two years ago that she would move on, stop spreading lies and leave me alone but she straight up lied and she’s still lying and doing the exact same shit. She can’t see her actions as wrong and I don’t believe she ever will so the best I can do is at least get the truth out there. I tried to move on but she won’t let it go no matter what I try so this is my last option.

People can still read her fanfictions and enjoy her content, whatever it’s not up to me to decide but when it comes to interacting in fandom spaces she shouldn’t be allowed to be around fans that are younger and more impressionable and she definately should not be given the ability to voice her bullshit lies about me and other people. Letting her interact in fandom spaces such as servers, forums etc only gives her the ability to continue manipulating, guilting and suicide bait others. She needs to face consequences for what she did for once.

If other fans want to defend her and enable her for whatever reason that’s their problem and I hope to god they don’t ever have to go through what I did with her.

[ruby3818]

that reply was so well said. i saw cap's response a few days ago and had to roll my eyes; it reeked of deflection. i'm so sorry this happened and i truly hope this is the last you have to deal with this and you can exist in this fandom in peace for once.

Reading it and seeing that the whole thing was her acknowledging her actions and how badly she treated me but still blaming them on me was pretty much all I needed to know that this wasn't an apology at all. She treated me like a possession yet I'm wrong for telling her not to lie to others about me because I make her "uncomfortable" for remembering what she did.. It's just shitty excuses after shitty excuses. I'm pretty sure having people tell me I'm selfish for abandoning her makes me uncomfortable too but y'know, my feelings aren't important here.

If nothing else at least I got closure from all of this that I wasn't wrong for walking away and that she really never will change.

[ruby3818]

speaking of cap frequenting on twitter, it sucks to see her post as usual as if nothing’s wrong. i really hope she isn’t trying to ignore this

She showed in her response that she really didn't give a damn or see anything wrong with her actions so that really doesn't surprise me that she's carrying on as if nothing is different....

[ruby3818]

(1/4) all the screencap evidence of cap-cavern you posted hit me kinda hard. my ex-friend stalker a few years back did something similar. when i finally got tired of their controlling, manipulative suicide-baiting behaviour, and i ended our friendship and blocked them, they wouldn't leave me alone. they sent me vaguely apologetic anons on tumblr for YEARS afterwards, even tho i ignored them. then they also, and i shit you not, faked their suicide on tumblr-- (1/4)

I am so sorry to hear you went through all that... and yeah it's all way too coincidencal for me not to believe it was her all along.

What scares me the most about seeing how she was talking about me to others is that it completely blind sided me on how I thought she was as a person because it was so different to the way she talked to me even after the friendship ended.

This is the kind of messages I would recieve which yeah shows she was hurt but at least shows some sort of remorse. I knew she was capable of lashing out when she was emotional because she did it all the time when we were friends so I assumed she was just mentioning that I hurt her emotionally when I left and that was what was giving people the wrong idea about me.

But she wasn't, she was completely spinning the story around and making out this whole persona of mine that was built on her actions. It went from gas lighting, manipulation, control, jealously within the friendship and me stupidly believing she was sorry, to this major retelling of all the events just to blame it all on me and make her seem justified for her actions. And she was doing it all along. She's so good at painting herself as innocent and naiive whilst also turning everyone against me for her own continued control over me that it seems like two completely different people and it scares me. It hits too close to home of an irl abuse situation where I was made to feel like my gut instinct of feeling mistreated was just me being delusional that the whole thing just makes me feel stupid for falling for the same shit again.

Sorry I rambled a lot so I'm going to stop here but thank you! It helps a lot to hear from an outsiders point of view, especially someone who went through something similar.

[ruby3818]

man i'm so sorry u had to go through all that weird stuff w/ that person. (i felt that bc i went thru something VERY SIMILAR w/ an ex friend on tumblr-- the gaslighting and suicide-baiting from someone who clearly needed help, but treated me like i was a subhuman to be controlled.) anyway the person u were talking abt left the weirdest fucking comment on one of my fics once, it set off so many alarm bells. but i didnt know anything abt the person so i just shrugged it off. (1/2)

I’m sorry to hear you went through a similar situation anon and hope you are safely out of that now;; It sucks and no one deserves to be treated like that.

Having had her blocked for over two years I didn’t really know the extent of what she was doing and assumed she had somewhat moved on and stopped with the manipulating with just the occasional slip up. I knew she was upset about me abandoning her and was talking about that in public forums but the twisting of what happened in Specord and what she was saying to my frantic mutuals to make them block me is ahhh... Like,, I had my suspicions about why I was being blocked by people but idk,, I never thought of her as that conniving. I never had solid proof either besides other people bringing it up with me sometimes so I didn’t want to come across as paranoid...

These past couple of days though, seeing how she was talking about me from screenshots and her retelling the story to make it out like the things she was doing was what I was doing is just,,, shocking really. Our last conversation made her seem accepting of us parting ways, albiet in a guilt tripping way,  but I guess that was a lie too.

I guess it’s all really confusing right now and I’m really grateful to everyone that’s been really supportive so thank you for your kind words!

[saywha413]

Ash to Goh: You're cute~

Goh: -///-

Chloe, out of nowhere: Hey, guys, I just discovered a new elixir!

Ash and Goh: ???

Chloe, laughing: It's called "Your relationship", and I'm addicted to it! (Original quote by @theceoofrusa)