#ill probably respond to messages/replies and stuff

[im14andivebeen14foramonth]

okay fr this time guys, i'll be taking a short tumblr break! i might hop on to like some stuff but any reblogs will be in my queue for probably end of the week/weekend/next week, and i'll queue some ask answers as well if anyone wants to send stuff in!

[emotionalsupport-ljh]

Breaking and Entering

You don't want Jihoon to worry.

Fluff (a miniscule amount of angst) - woozi x fem!reader

A hell of a lot of words for a sick fic :D Described as "princess treatment" by my friends 😌

AO3 link

Word Count: 3.1k

////////////////////////////////////

Before you even open your eyes, you feel a scratch in your throat that burns like hell. You reach for the water on your nightstand and take large gulps trying to soothe the pain. As your eyes open, they droop heavily and take a moment to adjust to the early morning sunlight that makes its way past your curtains. A chill suddenly attacks the uncovered parts of your body. You duck back under your comforter only to have an oppressive heat come in waves that cause sweat to cling to your forehead. On top of all that, you can’t breathe out of your left nostril. You’re terribly sick.

As you lament in your miserable state, a notification brightens your phone and you have to shut your eyes. You blink them trying to get used to the light, but all it does is give you a headache. You brave through the pain to turn your brightness down and check the notification. It’s a text from your boyfriend, Jihoon.

Jiji: good morning babe~ 😘

You: Good morning!

Jiji: what are ur plans for today? work?

You: No

You pause for a moment before continuing your response. You wonder if it’s a good idea to tell him that you aren’t feeling well today. On one hand, he might want to know that kind of stuff so that he can take care of you. On the other hand, it could cause some unnecessary stress in his already stressful life. Also, with his busy schedule, he probably wouldn’t be able to do much. You decide ultimately that this illness would probably be over quickly, and you don’t want to make Jihoon worry about nothing a little cough medicine and tea would fix.

You: I'm going to take the day off to relax and be lazy lol 😏

Jiji: that sounds nice

i wish i could do the same 😮‍💨

You: Busy schedule today?

Jiji: yup 🙃 but im excited for our date later this week

You: Me too!

Jiji: i have to go to work

text me later

You: Will do! I love you 🩷

Jiji: love u too~🖤

Putting your phone down and taking the chance to move from your bed to at least retrieve some relief in the form of medicine or warm tea, you feel your muscles ache in a way that makes you never want to move again. For now, you stare at the ceiling with the resolve to get over this silly little cold. You fall asleep soon after and stay asleep for many, many hours.

When you finally awaken again, the chill in your bones still hasn't subsided, no matter how many layers of sheet and blanket cover you. You have to force your eyes to open against the deeper sunlight now pouring through the cracks in your curtains. You power through the discomfort to get them to adjust to the brightness. Again, you reach a hand out for your phone and see that it is afternoon and that you have some missed texts from your boyfriend.

Jiji: hey~

wuts up

Jiji: taking an afternoon nap huh

text me when u see this

The messages were all sent about 45 minutes ago. You feel a little bad about lying, but it only strengthens your resolve to get better and put the whole lie behind you. You text back like normal, hoping that he has the time to read and respond even for just a few minutes.

You: Sorry! I fell asleep watching anime

It doesn’t take too long for a reply to pop-up. You had been dating Jihoon for months now, but you still got butterflies every time he texted you. Even now, aching all over and dripping from your face, he makes you feel a warmth you swore would make you even healthier than you were before.

Jiji: oh rub it in my face 🙄 lol

dont get too far without me

You: I would never!! 😫

How’s it been today? You're not too stressed, right?

Jiji: eh

im coping lol

nothing im not used to

You: Don’t push yourself too hard ok? 🥺

You're doing such a great job!!!!!!

Jiji: thx lol

i gotta go. love u~ 🖤

You: I love you too 🩷

You decide to try to come up with the ultimate healing game plan for the rest of the day. You plot out your meals and activities to maximize the time you can spend getting better. Or at least you try to as you come to realize that sleeping an extra 4 and a half hours without getting out of bed means that you’ve yet to relieve yourself. This kickstarts your game plan as you rush to the bathroom.

You power through the aches in your body to finally brush your teeth and put your hair in a manageable bun for the day. You put on your sweats and some socks to keep warm and make your way to the kitchen where you heat up some soup and make a mug of herbal tea. You take medicine and take it easy all day. The change in scenery from your bedroom to the living room not only motivates your mind to change, but also it motivates your body to move. You swear you already feel better.

Unfortunately, the next two days look the same, and you do not, in fact, feel any better. Even with minimal movement throughout the days, you still manage to leave a mess of dirty dishes, clothes, and tissues strewn about the apartment. You are miserable and finally starting to come to terms with it. The delusion of your ability to heal quickly and on your own was finally starting to dissipate. You thought seeing a doctor was a waste of time, but you start to see the necessity of an appointment the more time you spend with a scratch in your throat and a headache hammering your skull.

The worst part, however, is not the pain, nor is it the constant sweating or the need to breathe through your mouth. No, the worst part is that today is Jihoon’s one day off; you are supposed to be ready to go on a date.

It's a little late in the morning when you wake up. You thrash in your bed frustrated that you are still sick and very tired. When you check your phone, there are no new messages. It isn't unusual for Jihoon to sleep in on his days off. You dread having to tell him the truth that you had been sick all week and couldn’t go out tonight. You could anticipate his response: a string of crying emojis and then a laugh where he says he’s just kidding and he’s fine as long as you get better. He wouldn’t really be okay with it, but he would say he is. He would be really disappointed; he isn’t very good at showing his true emotions, but you know he feels them so deeply. You don’t want to cause him any undue stress or heartbreak. At this point, it unfortunately is inevitable.

You grab your phone and hover over Jihoon’s contact, trying to muster the courage to send your good-morning-text and your confession followed by a long apology and promises to make it all up to him one day. You don’t expect your phone to ring, brandishing a very familiar sweet smiling selfie with the name “Jiji” underneath. You are startled then you take a deep breath, clear your throat, and answer.

“Good morning, my baby,” a sleep-rasped voice calls out from the other side.

“Good morning,” you try to answer in a normal voice, doing your best to hide your congestion.

“You sound different. What’s up?” Jihoon caught on immediately.

You whine a little over the phone, only prolonging the inevitable. There’s only silence from the other side. “I’m sick,” you say, then blurt out, “I’ve been sick for the past three days. I really, really tried to get better, honestly. I’m so sorry, Jiji. I can’t go out tonight.”

Your heart beats quickly in your chest, maybe from the nerves of finally coming clean, maybe from the extra exertion on your sick body. The five seconds it takes for Jihoon to respond feel like five hours. All he says is, “Oh. Okay.” After that, he hangs up the phone, leaving you stunned and with a horrible pit in your stomach.

You’re in shock. The kind of shock people feel after breaking a limb or recovering from a disaster. It pushes every other feeling out of your body. You do your morning routine in a fugue state. When you sit back in your bed, it all hits you at once. Tears stream down your face almost unconsciously, and you lay down with your face in your pillow. Eventually, you fall asleep again, too tired from the illness to continue to cry or feel anything.

Jihoon makes up his mind quickly. After abruptly hanging up the phone, he immediately gets up and goes through his own routine faster than ever, even taking 30 minutes off of his normal workout just to have more time for his own plan. After coming home, he does something a little out of character. He goes to the kitchen to cook something that isn’t chicken breast and white rice.

This surprises his roommates. Soonyoung tries to help him with the big pot of what was so far just stock and vegetables. He gets distracted easily, and it takes him a long time to cut up an onion. Jeonghan takes a picture of Jihoon and sends it in the group chat asking if this is normal behavior for Woozis. Seungkwan tries to taste it before the dish is ready and whines when his hand is met with a smack from a wooden spoon.

“This isn’t for any of you. Leave it alone,” Jihoon says in a stern voice.

“Wait, what? Then who is it for?” Soonyoung raises an eyebrow at him.

“Y/N, my girlfriend. She’s sick.”

The mood in the apartment changes. Now, Jeonghan is texting more furiously in the group chat about how Jihoon cares so much about his poor, sick girlfriend. Seungkwan now insists on tasting the dish the whole way through the cooking process to make sure it’s suitable for such refined tastes as his and yours. Soonyoung calls his mom and asks what the best thing is to cure illnesses. It becomes a whole big thing that has Jihoon a little bit annoyed but also grateful his friends care about you almost as much as he cares about you.

Jihoon’s morning and the better part of his afternoon off of work are then filled with surprise visits from Mingyu, Jun, and Seokmin who bring an array of dishes that could feed you for a month and Minghao who brings a special tea blend that he uses when he's feeling sick. Vernon sends a playlist of chill music for you to listen to while you recover, and Wonwoo writes a list of movies he recommends you watch to rest. Chan makes a special delivery of his grandma's famous kimchi, which has the rest of the boys groaning that they don't get any this time. Joshua sends the best essential oil wax melts so you can indulge in some aromatherapy. Finally, Seungcheol makes sure that Jihoon tells you that he can send anything in the world to your house using his card whether it be medicine or a treat from your favorite bakery or even a new designer pajama set to make sure you are at maximum comfort levels.

As he makes his way over to your apartment, Jihoon feels silly carrying a bunch of bags filled with various gifts from everyone on top of the soup he made that seems to pale in comparison. He curses Jeonghan under his breath for telling everyone his plan to bring you supplies, effectively making him the delivery boy because he is the only person who has the passcode to your apartment. He tries to call you on his way over, now adding his phone to the pile he was juggling. It rings a few times and then goes to voicemail. He tries again and meets the same outcome. He assumes that you’re resting; being sick for multiple days sounds exhausting which is why he is so willing to bring over everything he (and the others) could possibly think of to make you feel better.

Jihoon reaches your front door and knocks loud enough that you would be able to hear it from your room, but soft enough that you wouldn’t wake up if you were resting. He waits a beat before just typing the code and letting himself inside. He makes his way to the kitchen and sets down the various bags on the countertops. Only once his arms are empty does he realize the state of the apartment. He slowly takes in the dirty dishes and various random stuff left on the floor. The trashcan is full, and tea bags litter the countertops. There are tissue boxes everywhere, each one full of used tissues.

He walks slowly to your room and, opening the door, he almost couldn’t make out your sleeping shape on the bed. You’re curled up into a ball under many layers of blankets on one side, and on the other was a pile of clothing. There’s more clothing on the floor. Jihoon goes back to the kitchen and takes a deep breath. He meticulously puts all the food everyone prepared into the fridge, rolls up his sleeves, and decides to start there. He makes a list in his head of all the things he could realistically do in the few hours you would be asleep.

The next moment, Jihoon is elbow deep in soapy water scrubbing dishes and wiping countertops. He finds all the cleaning instruments and proceeds to sweep and vacuum. He fills a trash bag with tissues, tissue boxes, and food containers. He gently tiptoes around your room, gathering up the clothes from the floor, which he assumes are dirty, and putting them in the wash. The clothes on the bed, which he checks are clean, are now folded and put in a hamper for later sorting. He even has time to reheat his soup and make a pretty plating of it paired with some rice and a cup of some of Minghao’s herbal tea.

You awaken when you hear dishes clanking in the kitchen. Someone is in your home. You freeze until the noise stops and begin to get up from your bed. With your legs swung over the side of the bed, ready to stand and possibly defend yourself, the door opens slowly and in walks Jihoon with a tray of dishes.

He looks surprised, then flashes a big smile, then says, “Good, you’re awake. It’s time to eat.”

All you can do is stare at him in disbelief as he sets a tray of soup and rice and tea on your lap. He sits cross-legged in the empty space beside you and scrolls through his phone as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

“W…what’s all this?” you stutter out, utterly confused.

“Lunch,” Jihoon answers nonchalantly.

Looking at him beside you, you realize that there is indeed empty space on your bed for him to sit where there was once a pile of clothes. Tears appear behind your eyes when you look around at the spotless floor of your bedroom. You look at your boyfriend as one tear falls.

“Did you…”

“Yeah, it was a real mess in here.” He turns to look at you and uses his thumb to wipe the one tear from your cheek. “Start eating. I bet you haven’t eaten all day. How are you supposed to get better if you don’t eat?”

He was right. You take a spoonful of broth and bring it to your lips. It tastes wonderful. Alternating between tea and soup and rice, you feel fuller, and the heat from the meal eases your throat just a little more. Jihoon looks at you and sees how happy you look to be having a meal that wasn’t microwaved from a package. You are already almost done with the meal after only a few minutes.

“See, you were hungry, huh?” He teasingly shakes his head.

You lightly push your boyfriend's arm. You make a face, suddenly feeling awkward to be around him. “I thought you were mad at me.”

“What? Why? Because you lied to me for days and didn’t let me take care of you? Or because you canceled our date on the day of because you assumed I cared that we went out somewhere?” he starts sarcastically, “I actually hadn’t thought about it all day.”

“I’m serious, Jiji!” you try to whine but end in a cough. He’s laughing at you as you get a little frustrated.

“I’m seriously not mad. I wish you would’ve told me, but being mad won’t fix anything.” His smile is soft, and he’s looking at you with love in his eyes.

“I’m really sorry. I just didn’t want to worry you. I didn’t know it would last this long. Honestly, I don’t know what I have, and you probably shouldn't be sitting so close to me right now.” You weakly try to push Jihoon away, but he sits like a rock, not budging at all.

“I’m fine,” he chuckles, “The plague couldn’t even keep me away from you.” He leans to kiss your forehead.

All your muscles relax as the last few bites on your plate disappear. Jihoon takes the empty tray in one hand and uses the other to guide you to your feet with him. He wordlessly walks you both out of the room. You see that not only is the entire apartment clean, but there are small gifts left out on the coffee table.

“What is all this?” you ask your boyfriend as take a seat on the couch, waiting for him to put the empty plates and bowls from the tray in the sink.

He takes a seat next to you and rubs the back of his neck with one hand and avoids eye contact when he answers, “The guys heard you weren’t feeling great, so, of course, they had to help out, too.” He goes through and shows you the wax melts, medicine, and self-care products. He also tells you about your new stock of homemade meals from the best cooks in the group. You get really excited about the kimchi from Chan’s grandma. He sends you Vernon’s playlist and Wonwoo’s recommendations. He even shows you the text Seungcheol sent him about using his card for whatever you might need.

Everything is perfect for the rest of the evening that was supposed to be a fancy, romantic date night. It turns out that watching movies and listening to music while snuggling and talking is the best medicine for illness and the most romantic date you have ever been on.

[winwintea]

omg i just saw your post abt writers WANTING readers to interact w them i didnt know that you guys ACTUALLY want us to send asks/chat/share our thoughts:') i always felt super guilty sending anon messages cuz what if im intruding on your personal time// or what if im wasting your time by having you think+type out a reply when you have much more important stuff to do// it must be exhausting thinking of the plot-writing a fic-rechecking it-posting it on tumblr and then having to reply to messages too (this was my thought process till now lol) basically,, i just didnt want to burden you guys even more cuz youre already doing sm for us by writing such amazing fics while expecting nothing but recognition for your hardwork:(( i mean its probably just my overly anxious ass overthinking everything and feeling guilty for just existing and using up oxygen lol but please know that manyyy of us do want to interact too but they might be like me:// im really grateful that you addressed this tho and ill be sure to just send the ask before my brain talks me out of it from now on:D

anon ily <33

i think usually it depends on a writer! i do all my writing in a period of time where i lock in and just start writing until i finish a fic. sometimes it takes me a couple of days but i usually spend like those few hours writing. motivation and procrastination is an issue too lol and sometimes we like doing other things in between 💀💀

i think i speak for most writers though that i we do want people to send asks 🤗🤗 if someone doesn’t respond to a lot asks it’s either bc they don’t receive a lot of love or they have too many… 💀💀 but even with more popular authors half of their inbox is filled with “please update” or “did you die” which is nice to feel important and stuff but it gets annoying after a while 💀💀 sometimes you can always just ask too! but i think very rarely authors will hate it 🤭🤭

personally i love responding to asks. i’m chronically online and love to yap on this account even though i have a spam 💀💀

JUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE NEVER A BURDEN <33

[hannahbarberra162]

thank you so much for responding to me twice now!! im sorry im sending these in so frequently, I dont know how tumblr works but i hope that, even if you dont post a reply to this, (which btw you NEVER have to, please dont feel obligated), i honestly only want you to read the ask. (even then its okay if you dont lol), im a bit overenthusiastic about your work, if you couldn't tell haha 😓 (not that it doesn't deserve all the enthusiasm in the world!!- I just know I can ramble when something excites me.)  I'll try to space out my asks more as to not overwhelm you or anything. i  honesty would love to read whatever you have to offer, even if it's just posting little snippets. I feel bad requesting stuff, though, from what I've read you're probably a busy college student with enough on your plate! still, without making any specific requests, whatever you have to offer, ill eat up like it's my last meal!! id love to see your works on other chatacters! i honestly didn't even really care heavily for mihawk or shanks but you know damn well i ate up your works on them! and like i said, i dont even really know Marco besides your interpretation, (which are canon in my mind haha) and literally had to look up who thatch was. yet i STILL have enjoyed your writings with them to the point ive been up late wondering what happens next. whatever you write, ill enjoy! you just have such incredibly intriguing stories, i honestly have never been so hooked before. thank you so much for writing! i guessed that either Marco or Ace was your favorite, so im glad i was close with Ace! i had the same sort of question as i did with Marco, but I didn't wanna ask both in one message. kinda a 'why him', sorta thing, not that i dont get this one completely- ive seen him in action and i love ace too! But i wanna hear why YOU love him, how YOU see him, same as what i asked for Marco. you don't have to answer if you dont want to! i know ive already typed a lot, so ill cut myself off here!! thank you my goat!! 🐐 and thank you for my appreciation of the WBP!!

(I've also really enjoyed your jinbe work so far!! he's one of my favorites🌊)

@celine-zzz Don't be sorry!!! This made my day, my week, my month! I lose confidence a lot and reading things like this make me think it's worth it. Thank you so so so much for your praise!!!! I actually screenshot nice asks like these and reread them haha. Ask whatever you want!! I like interacting with other people!!! Talk to me all you want!!!

I don't mind getting requests, I just don't ask for them bc I don't know that I can fulfill what people want. But I'm always happy to try! Heat Transfer is actually based off a Nonnie ask and I spiraled from there.

And, ah, I'm quite a few years past my college days 🫠🫠🫠 I'm not sure if that's better or worse, but time comes for us all.

In truth I started writing characters I felt I had a better handle on. I find Ace to be the most relatable. I think he's the most like someone you could potentially meet, maybe other than Law. Someone who is confident and self loathing and insecure and smart and dumb and self assured and all of that wrapped in a cute bundle with freckles. I also find Ace easy to write because I do feel that I've met people like him in real life, so I think of the dumb shit they would do lol. He reminds me a lot of a few of my friends, maybe that's why I feel protective over him.

That isn't a very good answer, but in summary he's my bby and I want the best for him <3.

Jinbe is who I'd actually want to ship myself with (see self indulgent fic) and I'd most want to be friends with and spend the day with Usopp.

[shiraishi--kanade]

helo :) u dont have to reply to this whatsoever if you dont want to, im just letting u know that i did notice your ask on my oc group’s account !! and ill likely be waiting until i publish a few initial posts before i respond :3 which will probably be in the next few days depending on how fast i can draw stuff out akdhsj

so me not responding in quick succession isnt bc youve done anything wrong or ur ask made me uncomfy, im just waiting things out a bit !! ik it makes me nervous when people dont respond to my stuff relatively quickly and im not sure if its the same for you so,, just in case akdhajsh

sorry for rambling at u AGAIN and i am very appreciative of u engaging,, oh god this message is too long now for such a short purpose HAHA ,,,

i hope ur having a lovely day !!!

Oh no absolutely no worries! Take as long as you need to or feel free to ignore asks you don't want to deal with, honestly. God knows I have way too many asks in my own inbox because I've either forgot to answer or didn't know how to. It's all up to you but I appreciate the message!

[my-precious-hellscape]

hey! i saw you responded to my ask. im the "you arent a terf" fella.

i do understand that you are frustrated about the whole label of bi lesbian, and reading your points i sympathise with you more. my original message does come off as harsh at some points and i apologize about that. ill attempt to be more considerate in the future.

i dont think bi lesbians are trying to invade your community or anything, i think they are simply trying to establish one of their own. of course you can say you are a mono lesbian, which is a term ive seen used, and build community around that, but i can understand any hesitance to use it.

with your definition of lesbian being centered around not being attracted to men, what do you think about lesbians being attracted to genderfluid or bigender or any multigendered person that also includes being a man in their description for that matter? because they dont fall into the non-men catagory. part of their gender identity is a man. this isnt supposed to be a gotcha or anything, just genuinely curious about your opinion now.

any discourse boils down to throwing insults nowerdays. people get angry and they express it and get rid of it by hurling insults. not saying its right though. for me i just get incredibly anxious and then start getting overly defensive, so i send asks trying to defend people.

it is a bit funny that people called you a terf though, you being a trans woman and all. its ironic. it ultimately ends up with the word being watered down from over-use. i dont think the people saying man or dude in the other asks were being intentionally malicious, its most probably just apart of their vernacular, though it doesnt make the fact that you were misgendered suddenly disappear and i do understand that that can be upsetting, i am trans myself.

Heeeeyy, sorry for the late reply been dealing with stuff and still suffering from a cold rn. You're good, like I mentioned last time you were still the kindest message I got. I guess I'll just go one question at a time?

"i dont think bi lesbians are trying to invade your community or anything..." I mean, regardless whether they intend to or not, they still are. However, that does begs the question if informing them about the significance of their label and the impact it has could be a good way to address the issue and make them chose something else...

"of course you can say you are a mono lesbian..." How long until that gets invaded? Considering how people have been reacting to Lesbians defending their label right now, are we just to migrate from one label to the next (This is hyperbole but I honestly wouldn't even be surprised if that was what is expected of us at this point)? Not to mention, if I may be so direct, that's literally the same solution I suggested just in the opposite direction.

"with your definition of lesbian being centered around not being attracted to men..." My opinion? Don't have one. I can't say I have encountered that situation before and I don't know where the consensus lies but if I had to go with my gut feeling I'd say it's fine as long as the multi-gendered identifies as fem at all. This isn't set in stone though (most of my opinions aren't).

"any discourse boils down to throwing insults nowerdays..." It's understandable people get angry especially when their identity gets questioned. Considering the many, many, maaaany years of oppression LGBTQIA peeps have lived under, it honestly might even be a fairly healthy response. Inside queer discourse however, it does nothing but do harm.

"it is a bit funny that people called you a terf though, you being a trans woman and all. its ironic..." 'funny' and 'ironic' are certainly terms you could use to describe the situation, though personally I would chose something more along the lines of 'vile', 'malicious' or 'despicable'. That terf as a term gets overused is old news but I do agree with you

"i dont think the people saying man or dude in the other asks were being intentionally malicious..." Optimistic, but thank you for your sympathy. I actually just reblogged a post that addressed this very thing, let me quote her real quick. "If you can't stop yourself from referring to trans women with masculine gendered terms when you disagree with them, why should anyone listen to you when you're saying something about gender?" -@sailorportia

Once again it was a pleasure talking to you! Please feel free to ask me anything else or just drop by if you ever want to chat!

[angelssongs]

OMH SORRY I PASSED OUT SO SUDDENLY YESTERDAY KMS

It probably WAS that honestly. And dw, my stomach is like that too, heartburn type shit💔

Omd my old friend was so obsessed with it she got me to start it and it's so... HOW DO I EVEN EXPLAIN IT ONG I love it sm, the way everyone misunderstood mizi so much, and the fact it's literally pride month like aaagahajakajakakak IT WAS SO GOOD

Ahem, gotta stay nonchalant ykwim, I'll respond to the occult stuff now lowk hold on

I just woke up and it’s like. 1pm for me. Explodes.

perhaps .. and im sorry your stomach is also like that .. that sucks .. explodes .. ill punch you in the stomach that’ll make the pain go away 🙏

MY FRIEND ALSO GOT ME TO START IT I’ve spread the message on. I force all my friends to watch alnst. 💗 MISUNDERSTANDING MIZI DURING PRIDE MONTH IS LITERALLY A CRIME

Hell yeah you be nonchalant.. I’ll reply to you responding to the occult stuff now too 💗💗

[standfortheangels]

So on Monday evening, I got an ask from a blog I hadn't seen before (not naming them) asking me to share their post asking for help with vet bills.

I was able to check out that they were a real person and not a bot, but I was confused about why they would ask Me, because again, never seen them before, and they also followed me right after sending the message, which seemed odd? So I left it alone and went to bed.

The next day I was waaay too tired to handle my own life, so that was a write-off. I'm in not so much a 'dip' in my health, it's more like.. a sinkhole, that hasn't stopped moving yet, so uh, yeah. That's limiting me a hell of a lot. Deciding what to do and writing a message back to them was just outside of my capabilities that day.

But yesterday, at one point early afternoon, I thought I had enough energy to throw some kind of reply together. I actually was going to reblog their post too. I just wanted to be able to tell this person- in case they picked me because they thought I'd have a lot of reach or something- that I actually don't tend to get seen by a lot of people, so it probably wouldn't help them much, but that I'd share it anyway and I hoped they could get their pet treated soon.

Except, there was no message there, and the follow notification vanished too.

Which means unless Tumblr fucked up in a very odd, very specific way.. they blocked me.

I hadn't responded in the maybe... 40 hours I'd had the message for, and I'd already been blocked.

Everything posted on my blog in that time, by the way, was through the queue and was tagged as such. I also have it in my blog description that I have health issues. Being unavailable for 40 hours doesn't mean someone is ignoring you regardless, but it's already public information that I have health shit to deal with and it slows me down. I would hope that would lead to a little patience as it is, but I mean, I could even have been in hospital for all they know!

Besides which, like, what good does blocking me do? If I'm not responding or posting, sure, maybe I'm ignoring you and don't want to share your post. But if I'm blocked, I definitely won't be sharing it! Because now I can't fucking see it can I?

Honestly, I'm almost glad now that my Monday sucked so much. Because that kind of anger in such a short amount of time (when, again, I didn't even post, stuff was queued and tagged) is a pretty big red flag tbh. I can understand being stressed if you're in that situation, but like.. I was basically off tumblr For A Day, a day and a half. To deal with health shit. And I got blocked for that.

Maybe it was a bizarre and highly coincidental glitch. Maybe they saw something on my blog they didn't like (though they should be vetting blogs better Before they send messages and follow if that's the case.). Or maybe they genuinely were impatient and defensive, and decided to block me out of anger when I had a perfectly reasonable explanation for what was actually a pretty short delay, certainly for me at least.

So yeah. Guess I kinda just wanted to vent that out, because, honestly I hate when people get mad at me for being sick, or for things in general I can't control. It isn't fair. And it's like, don't you think I would change it if I could? If I had any control whatsoever, do you genuinely believe I'd choose to be too exhausted to write a fucking message? I wouldn't. And I guarantee it sucks a hell of a lot more for me than it does for you, and I don't get to walk away when it's too much. So you can suck it the fuck up and Wait.

I know it doesn't Quite work like that in this case. They don't know the extent of my health issues, but that's the thing. If someone doesn't reply to you for a couple days, there are all sorts of things that could be happening. Maybe, like me, they're ill and don't have the energy to reply. Maybe they're stressed up to the eyeballs and they just can't handle a social interaction politely right now. Maybe they have severe social anxiety and they're trying to build up the courage or get their message perfect before they send it. Maybe their internet went down! They may not even know they have a message sat there yet! Maybe someone they love like, Just Died that same day.

Maybe it isn't their fucking fault, you know?

Anyway. Ultimately they've shot themselves in the foot. Because for whatever reason, they acted on the assumption that I was being mean and chose to ignore them, and in doing so, they've made it impossible for me to do what they were asking for, when I was actually willing to. And they'll never know that part either, because I can't tell them, because I'm blocked. So, y'know. They'll never get that help from me, and that's more their fault than mine.

[wooahaes]

hii its tattoo anon again <3 i just wanted to update you i loved cheols part of uts and cheol is one of my biases and i am so in love with his part!! i found this series almost a year ago and its bittersweet now that it has ended. i am so excited to see what comes next for the poly fic and your new works in general. i also hope that u saw my last message!! also i wanted to ask because idk if i didnt realize it or missed it but did you ever reveal who gave mouse the little stuffed mouse? if im not mistaken was it jeonghan? i have been wanting to figure out who it was but idk if i got it wrong lol. have a good day!

omg hi lovely!! i 100% saw ur last message and meant to respond and then. either forgot or got busy w school stuff, im blanking on which is it which probably just means it slipped my mind :( sorry!!

im literally gonna copy it over here and answer both this ask + the previous one to make it easier so uhh long response under the readmore !! i hope that's okay :(

okie dokie ill address this ask first

hi!!! you've been following the series since like... very close to the beginning then haha which is v v sweet and ill sob rn!!

i think i mentioned jeonghan working on the lil plush mouse during cheol UtS but didn't address it further, but yes! it was going to come up during poly fic at some point where he made all of the plushies for each person as a way of like. giving ppl comfort, esp when they show up & don't join the group at first (so that they have Something there w them, im the kind of person who needs something in my arms in order to sleep haha so that's where it's mainly coming from).

and for ur last ask:

hi its me again the tattoo anon LOL. i just wanted to reply to what you said and im so glad that i made you happy with what i said and i genuinely mean it. this is a little vulnerable but ever since i started liking svt i think a major reason why i love them so much is because they are a big group of friends and i have friends, but not that many so stanning svt in general is so comforting because of the closeness of all of them but finding this fic was like. a fucking dream for me because them being such a big close knit group and it being like the found family trope is perfect and the way you write and portray them is so comforting. genuinely i meant it when i said its one of my favorite things i have stumbled upon in my life, i have shared this story with my friends and they love it too and when we watch some edits of seventeen or see something in general that reminds us of this fic we say “this is so under the sun coded” and its like an inside joke with me and my friends. you literally changed the trajectory of my life with this fic lol. when im having a hard time in my personal life i come back to this little world u created by either just thinking about it before i fall asleep or rereading it and i want to thank you for being a writer. i hope you enjoy writing what you write bc i know that i certainly enjoy it and i hope you are proud of urself. anyway i think selling subtle stickers would be so awesome and i will definitely buy them. also since i submitted my last ask i have thought about little ideas for a tattoo maybe?? like what about like a small drawing of a church and like 13 little people around it with a little sun?!? or flowers like you said OR getting little drawings of the animals each person has? i think that would be so cute. or like maybe a little sash blindfold?? anyway ur awesome i love u thank u

the first time i tried to answer this ask, my long response ended up deleted bc i switched tabs for a second to check something and then tumblr just... deleted it??? which was v frustrating, kind of makes me hate the new post editor a Lot!

but to be vulnerable as well, i think i started writing UtS at like... a difficult point in my life? not difficult as in the painful way, but difficult as in 'there's a lot going on right now and i've never felt more alone than i do now' i guess? it's like... i started writing it right before my final semester of college, and i'm an online student, so i don't get to go out and be in a classroom with other people. sometimes i call myself an introvert when i think the term 'ambivert' has always fit more--i don't detest being social, i do tend to enjoy it! but i still need alone time to make up for it since it's draining. and idk, i was lost for a while on who i am and what i want to do with my life?

and i feel like writing UtS has put me in a vulnerable position to like... question a lot more about myself as a person. i have friends, sure, but no one i go out to see in person since i'm not exactly like... in a good place for that kind of interaction (deep south bible belt, haha... makes not being straight something i struggle with sometimes). i think the important part of UtS is the acceptance they all have for one another, and it's something i personally wish to have a lot more of in my offline life. i think even if i had the idea without darl+ing, it would have ended up being a svt fic due to how close they are and how much they care for one another.

also tbh i just love the found family trope. i love the idea and process of choosing your own family in a sense and saying 'these are MY people and i love them' ig.

also u showing the fic to ur friends + the comment abt being like 'this is UtS coded' ill SOB!!! i will!!! thats literally so cute and sweet of u!!! (pls feel free to send me any of ur 'this is UtS coded' thoughts i would always love to hear them haha)

but like. this is why i write. i like being able to impact people and help them escape life and be happy for a while. its why it always means a lot to me when i get feedback on my work and see people be happy with what i write (... even if sometimes its angsty haha--moving people to feel is a huge compliment by itself!). im glad you have UtS. im glad i have it now, too.

i do enjoy writing, btw, and i loved writing uts. even with the frustration periods where i didn't touch it for a while, i genuinely enjoyed writing uts a lot. i think i owe a lot of that to people like you, who read it and show support for the series! its always easier to read something when i know there's someone who will enjoy it. i remember smiling hard when i rewrote the ending to cheol uts bc of how fucking stoked i was to share it tbh!!! also bc i messaged savv 'lol this is gonna be devastating (/pos)' at one point i think sdkfhsdf but i was genuinely excited to finish it and get it out to u guys!! i dont know who i would be if i didn't write, and despite like... all of the bad shit that's happened in my life that i've turned to writing to pull myself out of it, i don't think i'd ever give it up. i think it's too deeply a part of me to ever give up. maybe one day i'll get published lol

ill definitely put more thought into subtle stickers for UtS (and maybe some other series haha cant remember if i mentioned that last time but UtS felt like the bigger one)! might have to ask around my friend circle for tips on designing them >:3

ohh i like ur tattoo ideas :0 im not sure what would look good so i hope u consult a tattoo artist with ur ideas eventually!! the idea of the lil church w a sun + 13 ppl is rly cute? if u do the sash-blindfold thing, u could always have a lyric inside of it or something if u wanna play w that :3c pls feel free to keep me updated further!!

sorry i didnt get to this ask until now but i hope u are doing well mwah mwah have a good day ur awesome ily

[joydemorra]

Frequently Asked Questions

Welcome to the FAQ. Here are some of the most often asked questions in my inbox.

- Who are you, and what am I doing here? Hello, I’m Joy, and this is my little corner of the internet. You may know me from such viral posts as Crucifix Nail Nipples, Robin Williams punching death eaters, or from my advocacy work where I focus on issues of disability, chronic illness, and neurodivergency. You may also know me from my international best-selling novel about vampires and werewolves kissing.

In which case, the vampire nipple thing probably comes as a bit of a shock. I also co-host @theayesphere, an interactive podcast with my bestie @ayeforscotland, on his Twitch channel.

If you genuinely do not know how you got here, welcome anyway. I hope you find a reason to stay.

- I sent you a message, and you never responded! I’m sorry about that. I get a lot of mail daily, and it’s impossible to keep up with. It’s not a reflection of you or my regard for you. I appreciate every kind word and message of support sent my way, even if I can’t always reply to it.

I am but a humble peddler of smut who never expected to have a viral blog. I’m also multiply disabled, so the struggle to keep up is real.

- So, what’s wrong with you? How long have you got?

The quick answer is I have a connective tissue disorder known as Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), comorbid with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). All three were diagnosed in 2020 after a lifelong struggles with chronic pain, chronic fatigue, fainting episodes and what I thought was asthma and chronic vomitting but actually turned out to be slow-acting idiopathic anaphylaxis. I am now on a treatment plan and am considered stable.

In late 2022 after losing the entire year to debilitating migraines, I was also diagnosed with atypical Binocular Vision Disorder by a neuro-ophthalmologist. This was a major root cause of my chronic migraines which had been missed by both a regular ophthalmologists and several neurologists. My case was considered ‘atypical’ because I did not present with the classic double vision symptoms checked for by most ophthalmologists. But upon extensive testing by the neuro-ophthalmologist, the misalignment in my eyes was diagnosed correctly and I was prescribed micro-prism glasses. I was also prescribed red-tinted lenses to help with extreme photophobia, as red blocks more blue light than other colors.

After three months of screen rest and allowing my eyes to adjust to the lenses – as well as extensive vision therapy–my monthly migraine count went from 20+ migraines a month down to 3. My remaining migraines appear to be hormonal in nature, but I have found that taking 400mg of b2 (riboflavin) a day, as prescribed by my neurologist, has greatly reduced the pain.

Despite the recent progress in my treatment, I am still a very sick, very fatigued individual and struggle to keep up with life sometimes.

I also have chronic ‘double depression’, cPTSD and ADHD, leaning more toward the hyper end of the spectrum. So I’m doubly cursed with a slow, slow body and a fast, fast mind that sometimes wants to yeet itself off a cliff. It’s an Experience. All of my posts pertaining to mental health are tagged as #mental health. Most of my ADHD stuff can be found under #adult adhd.

You can read more about my health issues by following my #chronic health tag or blacklist if you prefer! I also have one for my teeth #chronic health tag: teeth, though that one is less active since the nerve damage in my jaw was resolved.

- Why do you use affiliate links? Good question! There are a lot of hidden costs that go into indie publishing, and a large part of that is what we lose to places like Amazon in fees. Using affiliate links to promote our work allows authors to recoup some of that loss from our royalties, though not quite all of it. The links don’t cost you anything, nor do they tell me anything about your private data or shopping habits. They’re just a way for me to claw money back directly from Amazon. I try to limit how often I link to Amazon as the only thing I’m interested in peddling are my weres. And maybe a couple of vampires while I’m at it.

- Who is ETD/Mothman?

ETD/Mothman was the name my blog gave to my husband several years ago when my blog started getting popular. He has since joined Tumblr, and you can follow his shenanigans @mothman-etd

- Wait, you wrote a book?! I did! Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites is a 2x international best-selling paranormal, pun-filled polyamorous queer romance series with elements of Gaslamp fantasy and political satire. It features vampires, werewolves, and several other manner of creatures that go bump in the night. It has been described by those who have read it as “like reading the queer-goth-punk love child of Terry Pratchett meets Jane Austen. You can read more about it here or check out my website. The primary tag used by the fandom here on Tumblr is #Phangs.

- Vampires or werewolves? Why not both? \_(ツ)_/

- Hi, I want to support your work! Which purchase method best supports you? Any way you choose to purchase my books helps me! Purchasing through my Payhip or Gumroad nets me the most money, but purchasing through sites like Amazon contributes to my sales ranking, which increases my chances of trending in the algorithm and gaining a wider audience. Reviews are also a fantastic way to support an author, as is word of mouth.

Please note, I will be phasing out the Gumroad links following their stance on NFTS and the ensuing behavior of their CEO on Twitter. This should not affect your files. If, for some reason, you lose your digital copy and Gumroad won’t let you download it again via your email link, please reach out to me at info @ joydemorra.com

- Can I write fanfic/create fanart of your work? Please do! I want nothing more for you to enjoy my work to the point of creation. Just be careful not to tag me in any fanfic, and please don’t send me any headcanons. If someone accidentally guesses my plot and shows it to me, it can risk any of my future book plans. Keep fandom discussions within fandom. The author is (un)dead, and their opinion doesn’t matter. If you make fanart, you can tag me in that, but please don’t link to your Patreon or Ko-Fi in the post where I can see it. If I see you are making a profit from my work, I am legally obligated to file a takedown. If I do not see any such links, which may or may not exist in any reblogs I am not immediately tagged in, we do not have a problem. 🙈🙈🙈

- Can I cosplay your characters and tag you? Absolutely! Just make sure you follow the above advice about Ko-Fi and Patreon links.

- Will you sign my copy of [____] If this is post-pandemic times and we are at a meet and greet, yes! I’ll also have bookplates for sale soon that you can insert into your copies or do with them as you please.

- Are you going to turn any of your books into audiobooks? Yes! My audiobooks are narrated by Catherine Bilson (aka @caitlynlynch) and you can find them listed under my buy link options.

- Why do you write two versions of the same story? Glad you asked! I write two versions of all my stories so that people who enjoy sex scenes can enjoy them, and those who prefer not to read depictions of sexual acts don’t need to skip pages to avoid the more explicit scenes. You can read more about my decision to do this here.

- Help! I bought the wrong version! Most of my retailers will allow you to return the book for a full refund, freeing you to purchase the correct copy. If you bought a copy through my Gumroad or Payhip, drop me a line at info @ joydemorra.com, and we’ll get it resolved :)

- You’re an editor, right? Will you look at my manuscript? Regrettably, I am not taking on any new clients at the moment, but if you would like to check out my editors, you can fine them at @roselarkpublishing

- When will you be editing again? When I have the mental and physical capacity greater than the depth of a teaspoon.

- When is your next book coming out? When I have the mental and physical capacity greater than the depths of a teaspoon. (Sorry, I know I’m taking too long.)

- Will you reblog my donation post? I’m afraid that due to the high volume of requests that I get (anywhere from 5-20 a day), I am currently only reblogging donation posts from mutuals. I’m sorry. There are just too many for me to keep up with without flooding my dash. But please do look into @copperbadge’s Radio Free Monday, which I always try to reblog. The submission form is here, and Sam wrote a guide on how to write fundraising posts here.

- What’s your favorite book? Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett. Closely followed by Going Postal by Terry Pratchett and Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones.

- What’s your favorite movie? Singin’ in the Rain!

- Favorite music? I’ve been listening to The Amazing Devil on loop for over eighteen months, so it’s safe to say I like them.

- Why do you use Amazon? Aren’t they evil incarnate?!?

They are, but they’re also the biggest-selling platform for eBooks for indie and trad authors and not using them is career suicide. If you don’t like Amazon, I have plenty of other platforms for you to use, including directly from my Payhip, which allows you to use Kindle without giving Jeff Bezos a penny.

- Can I send you something I made/thought you might like? Sure! My PO Box is:

JOY DEMORRA # 250 2038 FORD PARKWAY SAINT PAUL MN 55116

- I saw you from the essential oil discourse and was just wondering… Please have pity on my chronic fatigue and refer to the master list post compiled very kindly by @paradoxanomalyenigma. You may find that I have already answered your question. If not, come ask me!

- Why did you move from Scotland to the US? I met and fell and love with Mothman. Originally we were going to live in the UK, but they changed the immigration laws six weeks before our wedding, and it ended up being more accessible for me to move here than for him to move there. Ideally, we would both like to have dual citizenship one day.

- Does Mothman really believe in me? Always.

- Are you Wiccan? No, I’m a pagan who identifies as a secular witch and have been for the last 20+ years. I don’t hold to any particular creed or belief. The gods might well exist. I’ve just got little time for them.

- Can you post to your bad luck chain-mail spell breaker? It makes me feel better. Here you go! Here’s my other curse breaker post if you want it, too.

[austinsgirl]

Rather Die | Chapter 5

word count: 1768

rating: nsfw

small sex scene with oral

a/n: if you’ve been reading this story, thank you! i would love to hear your feedback, so please leave comments & messages!

———————————————————————

It's the next morning after all the drama that went on.

Austin went to Victoria's place looking for her.

"Hey, is Victoria here?" Austin asks Eliana as she opens the door.

"No, she stayed at my boyfriend's, ex boyfriend's house last night." she says, correcting herself.

"What? Did she do that to get back at you?"

"Well, they claim they didn't hook up, but she apparently wanted to be there because she didn't want to be here. She told him about what happened & he broke up with me. I'm so pissed. They couldn't even let me explain or give me another chance. Fuck them both."

"I mean, what is there too explain? We just did it & that's that. We're both dumb as fuck for kissing like we did."

"I guess."

"I've called & texted her a million times. I don't know what else to do."

"My ex lives on Caroline Street right off of Hollywood Boulevard. The address is 4243. You can try to reach her there."

"Thanks. I'll try that."

Austin was about to leave, but Eliana stopped him "Wanna come back over later?" she smirks.

"I-uh, I don't know. If I want any chance of possibly fixing things with Victoria, I probably shouldn't."

"Alright. Well, if you change your mind. I'll be here all day. Just drop by."

"Oh, um, okay. I'm sure Ill see you around if not."

With that, Austin leaves & makes his way to Ashton's house.

He knocks on the door when he arrives. A shirtless, sleepy Ashton answers.

"Hi, is Victoria here? Eliana told me I could possibly find her here."

"Um, yeah, she's here. I don't think she wants to see you though." Ashton replies.

"Could you ask her? I really need to talk to her."

"Sure."

Ashton walks off and goes to the guest room. Vic is sitting in bed playing on her phone.

"Hey, Austin's here to see you." he says to her.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No. He's at the door. Eliana sent him here. I guess he went to the apartment looking for you."

"He's texted and called a lot. I don't really wanna talk to him....but I guess I will so he'll leave."

Victoria gets out of bed and goes to see Austin at the door.

"What do you want?" She asks Austin.

"I want to talk."

"About what?"

"About last night."

"How you royally fucked up? No thanks."

"Vic, please. Will you just listen to what I have to say?"

"Okay, fine. But whatever you have to say won't change my mind."

"I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know what I was thinking. She just kissed me, and my brain thought to do it back. I never meant for that to happen. I never meant to hurt you. I really do like you, Victoria. I'm such a fucking idiot. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry, Austin. I'm sorry I ever opened up to you so quickly & fell for you. You have no idea how betrayed I feel by the both of you, especially Eliana. No matter how many times you apologize, it's not going to change anything. I've dealt and was put through so much bullshit with my exes, and I won't let anything like that happen to me again. I will try and be civil for the sake of the movie, but that's all we are and will ever be. Co workers. That's it. If you call or text me about anything but work, I won't respond. If you see Eliana, tell her I'm coming by later to get some stuff and she better not be around. I'll see you at work. Bye Austin."

Victoria shut the door & left Austin to himself on the porch.

"Goddamn it." Austin spats to himself. "Fuck it."

Austin gets in his car & goes back to the apartment. Eliana answers the door immediately. Austin grabs her face & kisses her with angry, and lustful passion.

"Victoria didn't want you I assume?" Eliana asks in between kisses.

"You got it."

"Good, because I want you. Fuck her & Ashton. You're hotter anyways. Let's go upstairs." she whispers into his ear.

They continue to make out as they make their way to the steps. They break the kiss when they meet the bottom step. Eliana grabs Austin's hand and leads him upstairs to her bedroom.

He pushes her onto the bed, continuing the makeout. Moving his lips to her neck. His hands rubbing over panties underneath her oversized sweatshirt.

"Wet for me already?" he asks her.

"Oh, honey, I have been for quite some time now."

Austin removes her sweatshirt, revealing her bare breasts.

He takes one into his mouth, devouring it. His hand slips inside her soaking wet panties, running his fingers up and down her folds.

Eliana moans in delight. "Oh god. You're already as good as I imagined."

Austin pulls his hand out and removes her panties entirely before meeting his lips to her sex.

Eliana takes a sharp gasp as Austin's tongue flicks her clit. Her hands going into his hair, tugging at his strands.

As soon as Eliana reaches her climax, the front door slams from downstairs.

"Oh shit." Eliana says, quickly shooing Austin off of her and getting up.

"Oh my god." Victoria stops in her tracks passing Eliana's room, seeing Eliana completely nude. "Oh. My. God. This is seriously where you went after that whole apology, Austin?? Seriously?? Fuck you. I cannot." She walks off to her room & quickly starts packing her stuff into bags.

"Hey, you know what, Vic? If you don't want me, why wouldn't I go to the person who does?" Austin says, following her into her room.

"For fucks sake. If you really wanted me, you wouldn't have fucking rebounded so quick. Let alone you wouldn't have come here to fuck the girl you fucked up our relationship with."

"You know, I don't even know what I ever saw in you in the first place. Kinda realizing you're kind of a bitch."

"Takes one to know one." Victoria snaps back, as she walks right passed him going downstairs.

Austin couldn't come up with a good comeback in time before Vic was out the door.

Victoria made her way to her car, throwing her bags in the back seat.

As soon as she sat down in the drivers seat, tears streamed down her face. Sobbing uncontrollably.

Victoria called her now, one & only comfort person. Her mom.

"Victoria? Honey? Are you okay?" her moms answers, Vic still sobbing.

"N-no. I-I can't stop crying."

"Try to take a deep breath, in & out baby."

Vic does her best to control her breathing.

"Ok, now tell me. What's wrong?" her mom asks concerned.

"Well, you know that guy that's my costar that's in the movie I'm about to start working on?"

"Yes, of course. You like him, like him, right?"

"Well, used too. He, um, kissed Eliana last night. And she prompted it." more tears start strolling down. "A-and I just walked in on them having sex."

"Oh, baby girl. Eliana did all that with the boy you liked? Doesn't she have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah. Well, had. But yeah. She hurt me mom. And so did he. He led me on. He was treating me like I was going to be his, and I even told him about dad. I-I can't even stand to look at him now. I-I don't know how Im supposed to do this movie."

"I'm sorry, honey. I can't believe Eliana would do that to you."

"Well, believe it. I wouldn't be having a panic attack in my car, in the middle of the apartment building parking lot. What do I do about the movie? Like I know I should stick it out, because this is my first big role, but I honestly can't stand Austin now. He makes me not want to do this. How the hell am I going to make this movie?"

"Victoria, you've always been a trooper, a fighter. You've never let anything or anyone stand in your way. Look how far you've come because of it. I know it'll be hard, but you'll have to push this whole situation aside & just be as professional as you can. I know you'll be able to do it. And you know your dad would say the same."

"Thanks mom. I'll try. This is just going to suck so much. My first real gig and it's going to be tainted by this asshole."

"I know, sweetie. But you'll get through, I promise."

"You promise?"

"I. Promise."

Victoria finishes up on the phone with her mom, and heads back to Ashton's apartment.

As soon as Ashton sees her, "Hey, you okay?" He can tell she's been crying.

"I walked in on Austin & Eli having sex."

"Wait, seriously?"

"Yep. Pretty sure he was just giving her head as he was still fully dressed, but she was completely naked with sex hair, so. His hair was messed up too now that I think about it. GOD, how did this all happen within less than twenty four hours?"

"I don't know. I really don't. I just know that it's definitely over for Eli & I."

"You know, he had the AUDACITY to say "Why not go to someone who wants me?" or some shit, then said he doesn't know what he ever saw in me and that he was "kinda realizing that I'm kind of a bitch." Like what the fuck? Fuck him. Fuck her."

"He said all of that? Do you want to me to go kick his ass? Because I can."

"No, no. Don't do that. We don't need anything to do with them."

"What about the movie?"

"I don't want to do it. He's making me not want to. But I'm going to do it. It's my first big role & I can't let some stupid idiot fucker get in my way of that."

"Atta girl. I know you'll do great either way. And hey, if you ever want me on set with you, I'll be there. The band & I are done with tour, so whenever you need me, I'm there."

"Thanks, Ash. I really do appreciate you."

"It's not a problem. We're both hurting because of the same people. We need to be there for each other right now. And besides, you've always been a good friend to me."

"Of course. You've always been a good friend to me as well. You're the only one of Eliana's boyfriends I actually like."

"Well, I'm honored. Want some lunch? I was thinking of getting some Chinese takeout."

"Sounds perfect."

———————————————————————

[monsterenergysimp]

Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader 

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you 

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.  

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

    shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

    i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

    NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats  super cool actually

    i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and       youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

    [link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

     No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

     I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?  

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

    xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

[thebibliosphere]

Frequently Asked Questions

Welcome to the FAQ. Here are some of the most often asked questions in my inbox.

- Who are you, and what am I doing here? Hello, I’m Joy, and this is my little corner of the internet. You may know me from such viral posts as Crucifix Nail Nipples, Robin Williams punching death eaters, or from my advocacy work where I focus on issues of disability, chronic illness, and neurodivergency. You may also know me from my international best-selling novel about vampires and werewolves kissing. 

In which case, the vampire nipple thing probably comes as a bit of a shock. I also co-host @theayesphere, an interactive podcast with my bestie @ayeforscotland, on his Twitch channel.

If you genuinely do not know how you got here, welcome anyway. I hope you find a reason to stay.

- I sent you a message, and you never responded! I’m sorry about that. I get a lot of mail daily, and it’s impossible to keep up with. It’s not a reflection of you or my regard for you. I appreciate every kind word and message of support sent my way, even if I can’t always reply to it.

I am but a humble peddler of smut who never expected to have a viral blog. I’m also multiply disabled, so the struggle to keep up is real.

- So, what’s wrong with you? How long have you got? 

The quick answer is I have a connective tissue disorder known as Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), comorbid with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). All three were diagnosed in 2020 after a lifelong struggles with chronic pain, chronic fatigue, fainting episodes and what I thought was asthma and chronic vomitting but actually turned out to be slow-acting idiopathic anaphylaxis. I am now on a treatment plan and am considered stable.

In late 2022 after losing the entire year to debilitating migraines, I was also diagnosed with atypical Binocular Vision Disorder by a neuro-ophthalmologist. This was a major root cause of my chronic migraines which had been missed by both a regular ophthalmologists and several neurologists. My case was considered ‘atypical’ because I did not present with the classic double vision symptoms checked for by most ophthalmologists. But upon extensive testing by the neuro-ophthalmologist, the misalignment in my eyes was diagnosed correctly and I was prescribed micro-prism glasses. I was also prescribed red-tinted lenses to help with extreme photophobia, as red blocks more blue light than other colors.

After three months of screen rest and allowing my eyes to adjust to the lenses -- as well as extensive vision therapy--my monthly migraine count went from 20+ migraines a month down to 3. My remaining migraines appear to be hormonal in nature, but I have found that taking 400mg of b2 (riboflavin) a day, as prescribed by my neurologist, has greatly reduced the pain.

Despite the recent progress in my treatment, I am still a very sick, very fatigued individual and struggle to keep up with life sometimes.

I also have chronic ‘double depression’, cPTSD and ADHD, leaning more toward the hyper end of the spectrum. So I’m doubly cursed with a slow, slow body and a fast, fast mind that sometimes wants to yeet itself off a cliff. It’s an Experience. All of my posts pertaining to mental health are tagged as #mental health. Most of my ADHD stuff can be found under #adult adhd.

You can read more about my health issues by following my #chronic health tag or blacklist if you prefer! I also have one for my teeth #chronic health tag: teeth, though that one is less active since the nerve damage in my jaw was resolved.

- Why do you use affiliate links? Good question! There are a lot of hidden costs that go into indie publishing, and a large part of that is what we lose to places like Amazon in fees. Using affiliate links to promote our work allows authors to recoup some of that loss from our royalties, though not quite all of it. The links don’t cost you anything, nor do they tell me anything about your private data or shopping habits. They’re just a way for me to claw money back directly from Amazon. I try to limit how often I link to Amazon as the only thing I’m interested in peddling are my weres. And maybe a couple of vampires while I’m at it.

- Who is ETD/Mothman?

ETD/Mothman was the name my blog gave to my husband several years ago when my blog started getting popular. He has since joined Tumblr, and you can follow his shenanigans @mothman-etd

- Wait, you wrote a book?! I did! Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites is a 2x international best-selling paranormal, pun-filled polyamorous queer romance series with elements of Gaslamp fantasy and political satire. It features vampires, werewolves, and several other manner of creatures that go bump in the night. It has been described by those who have read it as “like reading the queer-goth-punk love child of Terry Pratchett meets Jane Austen. You can read more about it here or check out my website. The primary tag used by the fandom here on Tumblr is #Phangs.

- Vampires or werewolves? Why not both? \_(ツ)_/

- Hi, I want to support your work! Which purchase method best supports you? Any way you choose to purchase my books helps me! Purchasing through my Payhip or Gumroad nets me the most money, but purchasing through sites like Amazon contributes to my sales ranking, which increases my chances of trending in the algorithm and gaining a wider audience. Reviews are also a fantastic way to support an author, as is word of mouth.

Please note, I will be phasing out the Gumroad links following their stance on NFTS and the ensuing behavior of their CEO on Twitter. This should not affect your files. If, for some reason, you lose your digital copy and Gumroad won’t let you download it again via your email link, please reach out to me at info @ joydemorra.com

- Can I write fanfic/create fanart of your work? Please do! I want nothing more for you to enjoy my work to the point of creation. Just be careful not to tag me in any fanfic, and please don’t send me any headcanons. If someone accidentally guesses my plot and shows it to me, it can risk any of my future book plans. Keep fandom discussions within fandom. The author is (un)dead, and their opinion doesn’t matter. If you make fanart, you can tag me in that, but please don’t link to your Patreon or Ko-Fi in the post where I can see it. If I see you are making a profit from my work, I am legally obligated to file a takedown. If I do not see any such links, which may or may not exist in any reblogs I am not immediately tagged in, we do not have a problem. 🙈🙈🙈

- Can I cosplay your characters and tag you? Absolutely! Just make sure you follow the above advice about Ko-Fi and Patreon links.

- Will you sign my copy of [____] If this is post-pandemic times and we are at a meet and greet, yes! I’ll also have bookplates for sale soon that you can insert into your copies or do with them as you please.

 - Are you going to turn any of your books into audiobooks? Yes! My audiobooks are narrated by Catherine Bilson (aka @caitlynlynch) and you can find them listed under my buy link options.

- Why do you write two versions of the same story? Glad you asked! I write two versions of all my stories so that people who enjoy sex scenes can enjoy them, and those who prefer not to read depictions of sexual acts don’t need to skip pages to avoid the more explicit scenes. You can read more about my decision to do this here.

- Help! I bought the wrong version! Most of my retailers will allow you to return the book for a full refund, freeing you to purchase the correct copy. If you bought a copy through my Gumroad or Payhip, drop me a line at info @ joydemorra.com, and we’ll get it resolved :)

- You’re an editor, right? Will you look at my manuscript? Regrettably, I am not taking on any new clients at the moment, but if you would like to check out my editors, you can fine them at @roselarkpublishing

- When will you be editing again? When I have the mental and physical capacity greater than the depth of a teaspoon.

- When is your next book coming out? When I have the mental and physical capacity greater than the depths of a teaspoon. (Sorry, I know I’m taking too long.)

- Will you reblog my donation post? I’m afraid that due to the high volume of requests that I get (anywhere from 5-20 a day), I am currently only reblogging donation posts from mutuals. I’m sorry. There are just too many for me to keep up with without flooding my dash. But please do look into @copperbadge’s Radio Free Monday, which I always try to reblog. The submission form is here, and Sam wrote a guide on how to write fundraising posts here.

- What’s your favorite book? Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett. Closely followed by Going Postal by Terry Pratchett and Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones.

- What’s your favorite movie? Singin’ in the Rain!

- Favorite music? I’ve been listening to The Amazing Devil on loop for over eighteen months, so it’s safe to say I like them.

- Why do you use Amazon? Aren’t they evil incarnate?!?

They are, but they’re also the biggest-selling platform for eBooks for indie and trad authors and not using them is career suicide. If you don’t like Amazon, I have plenty of other platforms for you to use, including directly from my Payhip, which allows you to use Kindle without giving Jeff Bezos a penny.

- Can I send you something I made/thought you might like? Sure! My PO Box is:

JOY DEMORRA # 250 2038 FORD PARKWAY SAINT PAUL MN 55116

- I saw you from the essential oil discourse and was just wondering… Please have pity on my chronic fatigue and refer to the master list post compiled very kindly by @paradoxanomalyenigma. You may find that I have already answered your question. If not, come ask me!

- Why did you move from Scotland to the US? I met and fell and love with Mothman. Originally we were going to live in the UK, but they changed the immigration laws six weeks before our wedding, and it ended up being more accessible for me to move here than for him to move there. Ideally, we would both like to have dual citizenship one day.

- Does Mothman really believe in me? Always.

- Are you Wiccan? No, I’m a pagan who identifies as a secular witch and have been for the last 20+ years. I don’t hold to any particular creed or belief. The gods might well exist. I’ve just got little time for them.

- Can you post to your bad luck chain-mail spell breaker? It makes me feel better. Here you go! Here’s my other curse breaker post if you want it, too.

[iron-galliant]

Popping in as well regarding the whole SL and DCA thing, and honestly, the op really does not like the DCA fandom as a whole it seems (poked through their talking tag out of curiosity). Like I get being annoyed that the general fnaf tag has a lot of content regarding them, but blocking tags exist for a reason. It's possible to curate your space, and complaining about it often doesn't exactly do you any good and just ends up making you more miserable.

I'll acknowledge that yeah there's been some yikes content created of them, just like any fandom has, some stemming from folks that either don't know better or others that would probably get thrown out by a majority of the fandom. But even then that content is a minority, and fandoms all have their small segments of people that create and post iffy content, doesn't mean the entire fandom enjoys/does that.

Some of their points do make me wonder if they actually fully looked into the story and its content and how some stuff is handled. A majority of the stuff in it stems from the virus, which is infecting everyone. And some of the stuff they brought up was simply memes that weren't meant to be serious and just shitposty.

Maybe it's just because the DCA and content around them is a huge comfort for me and skews my view on stuff, but OP's whole post just rubs me the wrong way. Calling someone a weirdo and ableist in public without contacting the person first to have a discussion just isn't a good move. Even if they couldn't message via tumblr, asks do exist and can be utilized if you're respectful.

Anyways, don't feel like you need to respond to this especially if it'd be stressful or anything like that, I just wanted to share my thoughts!

Tumblr didnt register my reply the first time but what it boiled down to is yeah you're right, and I really hate being lumped into a group like that as someone WITH a disassociative disorder like. Dude if you have it then you should know better than anyone that people are not their mental illnesses

I do have Autism and the DCA is a huge comfort character for me, I think that they didnt read the fic and theyre probably upset the most popular fnaf thing isnt for their character? And I get that but you can always block the tag

Also calling people names is kinda uncalled for. Go outside and feel some sunshine, dont make a callout post full of lies for attention

Ill probably block them after today and go back to reading fics and writing mine in peace tbh? Im not too big on getting involved in drama but this one genuinely upset me since the DCA fandom is really nice to people

[ciitrinitas]

this is probably one of the most abnormal, mentally ill things i’ve done, but the thought of just...responding to all my dms makes me kind of anxious, so i am slowly pasting them all into a google doc where i am writing out replies underneath (the pasted in stuff is just so i know which message i need to reply link to!) and then once i have responded to everything, i can dump it all on discord and Not Be Anxious because i have already replied to everything and can then have a nice blank social slate.

[dontsendmebacktojail]

hi, im carls! other names i go by are Barney (also sometimes written as Barn3y), also i would like to disclose that im a minor, not by much, but STILL A MINOR, and just repulsed by a lot of things so yeah

i do art, games, character design, coding, dnd, reading, and writing casually! though i do art and editing as a job. the editing one seems weird cus yknow i type weird but trust me thats just laziness

if you want to search my tumblr for my art, i caption all my art with the hashtag carl art

dni's are the basics, homophobes, transphobes, anti-lgbtq, terfs, proshippers, racists, ableists, zoophiles, and stuff along those lines, etc

my interests are A LOT, so just ask me and its probably a yes. but special interests for me are pokemon (always and forever), digimon, sea life, puppets, and robots/ai/transformers! my interests fluctuate especially when im hyperfixating on something, but those are always there.

Feel free to!:

- send in an ask (i like answering them i swear i just forget to check)

- message me (i get nervous so a reply might be late but ill prolly respond!!)

- comment (i like talking in comments its fun)

- reblog (i think some people dont like reblogs so im gonna specify i do!! pls reblog my stuff i really appreciate it!!!!!!)