#im GLAD you read my silly boy posts it means a lot to me<3

[angelmichelangelo]

finished chap 1 and i adore it i stg i'll kudos it twice when i get my ao3 account!

do you have any angsty mikey headcanons you could share with the class? ('spoilers' are fine because i've read leodoriya's fics too) your mikey brings me so much comfort because i relate to him so bad 😭

-🍒

ah tysm for reading :D it means a lot :) and hoo boy i have like, an entire part of my brain dedicated to just pure Lore from that fic that im super looking forward to delving into in time!

i have a bunch of little like, spin off fics? i guess? that im planning on writing and posting once the main fic is complete so i’ll save the more spoilery stuff for then! and yes, @lesbians4leonardo’s fics of my fic are just. UGH THE BEST i think ive read them enough times to burn them into my brain at this point :’)

and im super glad he’s able to give you some comfort. in the middle of writing this fic, i was kinda going through my own Issues that my brain randomly decided to make me remember about, that of which relates to mikey’s issues in this story and it’s kinda helped in a really huge way i wasn’t expecting. it’s not like, always 100% great fun and i always feel a little silly saying a fic helped me through a particular trauma BUT! its free and a hell load of good so!! yay for that i guess :’) im really glad you could read this fic and feel like it was some kind of help for you — and i hope you’re doing well in yourself <3 much love to you, friend !! thanks again for reading :)

[gluion]

good evening everyone... "of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going)" is finally DONE with its official parts </3 im just having ms. duckie read it just to see if the direction is alright and it will definitely be up some time this week </3

can you believe?!?!?! 71.1k IN TOTAL!?!?!?! (yes part 3 ended up being 24.6k words) literally still in shock with how much i've written tbh!!!

i guess cue the emotional post!!! (oh no!!! not the emotions!!!)

when i first started writing this fic, i had no idea what to expect from the pairing. literally the only thing i knew is that the boy i'm writing about will have that dream about reader LMFAO (iykyk!) and that the dynamic between the two characters will be very banter but still at its core sweet <3

the craziest thing is that this fic would have been for jacob or changmin. i was really deciding which would work out the most but my friend said that the scenes and dynamic i had in mind works best with changmin's personality. and with that, i finally started my silly outline!!!

oof... should i mention that the title originally wouldve been "of method acting and bantering (i'm so glad i found you)" like crazy!?!?! how did we come from that to the current title? well i only finalized it while writing the first half of the outline (which covers like the first two parts of the fic!)

i settled on linked arms and bruised hearts mainly because we know changmin as someone who likes to latch onto the members. the idea of bruised hearts came mainly from how i wrote reader </3 and it just works in tandem! i really think this new one holds more meaning is definitely representative of reader and changmin.

anyway, i should mention that this fic does hold a lot of pieces of me </3 like a lot of aspects or experiences came from what i experienced. there are a lot of little fun facts spread throughout the fic. if you ask me about them, i'd most definitely tell you </3

and most importantly, i like to think that this fic is more of a commemoration of the friendships i have rather than just some romance fic. although there are alot of sweet moments between reader and changmin (that are definitely romantic in nature and definitely some i never experienced), i wrote this fic really focusing on how much i just love friendships. i really think that writing friends to lovers without highlighting the importance of friendships overall would just be a disservice to the trope overall </3

this fic is very personal because it reflects a lot of aspects in my life </3 i'm really glad that i wrote 71.1k words worth of just genuine love and care stored in friendships !! and i'm glad that reader and changmin have each other !!

once again, i want to say thank you for loving this fic as much as i do T___T mainly would like to thank those on my taglist for the support as well <3 i've received some feedback just talking about how much they love the friendgroup or how nice it is to see that soulmates do exist between changmin and reader. it really does mean a lot because this fic took so much time and care to execute </3

of course, the universe is not officially closed since i plan to write the imagines/drabbles found on the series masterlist. and although it is not guaranteed when those will be out, just know that this specific universe will forever live in my heart.

part 3 will drop within the week <3 please look forward to it <3 thank you!!

[catsteeth]

Ok, in light of the post you reblogged (followers come talk to me about my fics) I AM HERE!!!

So, first of all, I did come here from ao3 for Sandor, you are absolutely right. You write him in a way I feel like noone else does, where he genuinely feels so... Canon? And the tension!!! Oh the tension between him and y/n and then people shit talking his wife I-

Point being, whilst I COULD sit here and yell about your Sandor all day (and do it gladly), I HAVE to mention your Pod fic. I was not a Podrick girlie in the slightest, ever. I liked the lad just fine watching the show and reading the books, but never gave him much thought. But then, because I was starved for your fic content while waiting for a new Sandor update, I caved and began reading about our she bear and her squire Knight and... How do you do this? You are literally too powerful, because, in the span of like two chapters I was ready to ride or die for our boy? Ive really been converted and it was done in a BLINK. And Im SO GLAD for it, because, ye gods :') its just amazing. Honestly, you have a way with writing tension (romantic or otherwise) that makes a person glued to their screen. Thank you so much for writing and for sharing your works with us all, they are so cherished and appreciated <3

I wish you a beautiful summer ☀️ take care! :)

This is no joke one of the sweetest comments i have ever gotten. Genuinely thank you from the bottom of my heart that is so so sweeeeet.

Every chapter i put out i genuinely worry so much it isn’t good enough for y’all. so messages like these really mean a lot to me.

also so happy to have converted you to a pod stan. he’s a silly romcom boy in a medieval war.

[starxscream]

I was reading your post the other day about how Swatch must feel so lonely and sad in the Snowgrave Route without the Swatchlings😭 So let me recommend: Rouxls tries to comfort them (in his own chaotic way) because he actually really dislikes seeing Swatch sad (but he will never admit it).

Ok i was going to take a nap but this ask came and grabbed me by the throat

Enjoy a little drabble about this beneath the cut bc my brain goes brr<3

Silence.

Pure and utter silence.

Swatch had always complained about the ruckus and noise, always had to get the Swatchlings in line, always chastised Tasque Manager for letting her tasques wander around. There was always something happening, always something going on, and some days Swatch had dared hope for a little peace.

Now they had it.

Quiet. But it was not peaceful.

They never realized how much they hated it. The lack of sound, the lack of people, the lack of anyone.

Yet there they stood, behind the counter.

Their shoulder's sag, staring at the door that had not opened to anyone. Expecting to see someone, anyone, walk through that door.

A swatchling ready to take another order, a customer needing to be seated, Tasque Manager on her break and looking for a friendly chat. All while Swatch served them with a smile.

Swatch's hands ball into fists, why were they the only one here? Why couldn't they have brought the swatchlings? Tasque Manager? Even just a single tasque would be better than this!

Their head lowers, hands shaking at their sides.

What made them different?

Why did they get brought here?

How come no one else came along?

They lean on the countertop in front of them, beak clenched tightly together, feeling a singe of heat in the corners of their eyes.

Would they ever see them again?

No.

Would they ever get to work with them again?

No.

Would they ever get out of this godforsaken place?

No.

Their head hits the countertop, a shudder tearing through their body.

Oh god how they wished they had been left behind instead. How they could have stayed with everyone else. How they wouldn't be alone in this cold and empty cafe that no one came to visit.

Their fists slam onto the countertop, shoulders beginning to shake more and more. It wasn't fair. Why were they brought here?

It just wasn't fair.

Hot tears threaten to spill from the corners of their glasses, the heat beginning to fog the lenses.

The door chimes, a foreign sound to the bird, but they don't look up. Partly believing it to be their own sick imagination. Not wanting to look up and see no one there.

"Beholdest worm-avian! I grace thee with thy presence once more!"

Swatch scowls, hearing the voice of the last person he could want to hear right now. Why are you here and not my swatchlings? What makes you so special and not them?

Forcibly, Swatch looks up, making themselves stand upright, "I am not in the mood, nor do I have the patience, for your pathetic antics, either order something- or leave." They can't be bothered to hide the venom in their words, the bitter frustration they felt of being stuck inside the empty cafe. Putting all of it on Rouxls, him only serving as a reminder of their final day at the Color Cafe.

Rouxls hesitates, tapping the tips of his fingers together. His eyes not darting away, focused on Swatch, smile seeming to fade momentarily before it curves back into his face.

"I am hereth for neither! No- I have a dutyeth of greatest importance that I haveth come hereth to complete." Rouxls puffs out his chest, sauntering over to desk.

Swatch glares at the blue man, "If it's about that stupid contest of yours to be 'butler supremeth', I don't care. You win."

Swallowing thickly, Rouxls' eyebrows furrow together, "No no, nothinge of that sorteth. I am not a cheapeth foole to try and bestest someone whenst they are downe." His fingers begin to twist together, fiddling nervously, "I knoweth that thou workplace haseth been very quieteth and empty, so..."

"WHY are you HERE Kaard?" Swatch finally snaps, Rouxls taking a step back in surprise, eyes wide at the blatant break in composure.

"Um-" Rouxls stammers for a moment, Swatch moments away from just throwing him out and going back to wallow in their own misery, "I justeth thought, well- thy valiant and kindeth hearted prince thought, thateth you mighteth want to join us?" Swatch jerks their head back staring at the other in confusion.

Rouxls continue, voice softening, "Thou roundest water beetle is makinge cookies in the shop nexteth door, I- we, thoughteth you mightest be willinge to join us. Such a benevolent prince! Thou shouldest be thankfule thateth he is gracing thou with thy time!"

Swatch blinks, feeling as if the world around them were suddenly swirling in a drunken spiral.

"You...what?" It's said in disbelief, a part of Swatch thinking it's all just some cruel joke.

Rouxls' doesn't reply immediately, instead taking a cautious step forward. He tentatively reaches across the countertop and gently places his hand atop of Swatch's, something he usually did when Lancer was upset but didn't want to be held.

He inhales deeply, and exhales.

"I- we, want thou to come and maketh cookies with us." It's said plainly, genuinely, lacking any sort of the haughty ego Rouxls usually radiated.

There's a pause before Rouxls quietly adds in a whisper, "I understand how it feels."

Swatch jerks their head, shaking it back and forth, unsure if they even heard that right. Yet clear as day, with no silly accent- Swatch opens their beak to say something, but nothing comes out, choking on their own words. They turn their head away, yet their hand turns and the wrist and their fingers wrap tightly around Rouxls'.

Rouxls' almost says something, concerned, but stops himself when he sees Swatch's shoulders jerk up and down, hearing wheezing gasps that they tried to keep quiet. Their hand clinging to Rouxls' like a lifeline.

He let's Swatch cry for a few moments, thumb gently stroking the back of Swatch's hand. Quietly letting the bird get it out of their system, before he clears his throat.

"Thou musteth get cleaned up before headingeth over! Thou cannot face thy prince lookinge like this, thine rival must haveth better taste than that!" The accent was back in full force, the usual annoying jeer to his words lingering on his voice. Not acknowledging whatever softness he had just given to Swatch, even if he refused to pull his hand away.

Swatch shakily inhales, hearing that stupid stupid voice, but they aren't upset- not this time. A tired hint of a smile crosses their beak as they use their free hand to pull off their glasses and wipe off their beak of any stray tears.

"Right, right, it would be...improper of me not to look my best." Swatch responds, voice cracking from their sore throat.

"Thou betterest! I do noteth wish for thou rival to look thou worst and have iteth reflecte on me!" Rouxls continues to rant, Swatch not replying and simply listening tiredly, feeling Rouxls' tug on their hand, leading them out from behind the counter. Leading them away from their cold well of misery and longing.

Yet even still, loneliness claws at their heart, but for that moment, they felt that maybe, just maybe, they weren't entirely alone anymore.

[14dayswithyou]

▋PERSONAL / LOVE LETTER ASKS !

✦゜ANSWERED: To avoid flooding the dash with all of these asks, I'm just gonna compile them into one big "masterpost" ^w^

also y'all have my entire heart!! ty for these cute messages ;v;

By pressing 'keep reading' you confirm that you are 18 or older.

Anonymous asked: i’m like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth waiting for ur post notifications i mean this in the most complimentary way possible

WAHHH ILY!!! I MEAN THIS IN THE MOST COMPLIMENTARY WAY AS POSSIBLE TOO

Anonymous asked: OKAY i just found your game and was kinda sceptic but... It is so??? Good??? I can't i'm in love with ur work 😭😭😭😭 ur writing, art and whole atmosphere is impeccable. Waiting for day 2 with ma hart while sending my love and devotion to u🥺💞💞💞 And Ren- omg that scene made me- No thoughts, only desire to... Tease the hell out of him and play dumb after. Take the lead and make him shaky and needy. Just please him without taking anything in return. Boy deserves some love and pampering and spoiling 😔 I was never especially fond of yandere characters, but then found your game and fall in love with it (and with Ren, he's my comfort character now) I love your writing and art style so much! Thank you for this game! P. S. Please, hug Renren for me 💕

aaaaa thank you so much for sending such a cute ask!!!!! I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the demo (and Ren)! I'll be sure to pass all of your love, hugs, and pampering onto them <3

@kia97 asked: I would like to express all my love for you, because thanks to your inventiveness, you have been able to create a beautiful work!!  your art is so impressive it is beautiful that it was able to capture me from the first moment!!  thank you for sending me so many beautiful emotions and for passing them on in the future as well.  I hope you are Renren you will accept my words of love and I wish you the best💖.

Wahhh thank you for your kind words and support!! ;v; I always see you on twitter and I get so !!!^w^!!! whenever I see your name pop up in my notifications! <3

Anonymous asked: this is my ever first time on playing a visual novel with actions and choices i could relate so much! it's really refreshing and i found myself seriously immersed in it! thank you so much for making it!! giving you one tight online hug!!<33

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank youuuu ^^ <3

Anonymous asked: HEHSHFS just found your tumblr and game and playing the demo for the first time and GOD this is just reinforcing how much i love needy whiney men

In this household we stan submissive and breedable men uwu (who can also confidently rail you in the restricted area of the library)

Anonymous asked: how does it feel to have created the best yandere in the history of yanderes? 🤭 i wanna thank you for spending so much time with us, answering all of our silly questions, you're so sweet ❤ and sorry for adding another one oops you dont have to reply just wanted you to know you're an amazing dev ❤

JFDKFJKFAFK You're so kind nonnie!! ;o; I love talking and interacting with y'all too! <3 Thank you for sending this in ^^

Anonymous asked: Just wanted to say to you that you're an amazing person and Im so thankful that you gave us some people to simp over! Im so excited to see more of the game! Stay awesome and be proud! 

Wahh thank you for the support!! <3 I'm glad you enjoy all of the characters aaa

Anonymous asked: I adore this game 🥺 I’d love to throw some money at you through itchio, but haha… my president is a freaking maniac and is doing a pretty good job at isolating my country right now, so I might have to wait a couple of years. I guess you have readers in the unlikeliest of places. I just wanted to say that your writing is very nice AND accessible for people whose first language isn’t English. This account makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, you’re so welcoming. It must take a lot of work. Please take breaks and don’t strain yourself 🙏🏻 

It's okay!! Keep your money! I'm just happy (and very blessed) to know that people genuinely enjoy the game! ^^ But thank you so much for the support, and I'm very sorry to hear that you're stuck with such a terrible president right now >.< I hope things will get better for you soon nonnie! ;v;

@whispereons asked: Hey I found your game and I adore everything about it. I've been inhaling all your 14day content and from what I know this is basically you riding solo AND doing college. You are amazing, even if you don't feel like it all the time, and we are all proud of you. My next ask will be for simping cause you deserve one just for how incredible you are.

JKAFAFKASJK Thank you sm!! ;w; I'm just happy to see that people love the content that I put out, even if it's not much right now ^^; But thank you for your support!! <3

Anonymous asked: I absolutely love how you use different colored phrases in your text. It's like I can hear these responses - intonation and all. P.S. Love your game and all the characters (especially Ren <3).

Ty!! I'm glad you picked up on it ^^ It's also really fun to do lmao But thank you for your kind words! <3

Anonymous asked: i’d just like to let you know that i love you and ur work and ur very funny and talented mwah mwah bye

nonnie pls come back our marriage is in shambles.... the kids miss you.......... (but fr thank you so much!!)

Anonymous asked: (¡Hi!, I really enjoyed the demo. I tried all the routes and even took some time to make the translation of the binary code that appears at the end of it (Was a nice touch), and I'm excited to see what's next with other days! :D U are doing a great work with the game!

aaaa thank you!! I hope translating the binary code was worth it because I can only imagine how much time it'd take to do that ^^; so I'm very sorry for wasting your time afasfaksf But ty for your kind words!!

@niyalibata asked: Okay but RenRen you can have me anytime like-    💗💗  I’m just absolutely in love I honestly just found your game for the first time *very* early this morning & I can’t begin to tell you the hold Ren’s had on me since 😭. As you’re the person behind my new hyper-fixation I will now hold you accountable for my lack of sleep (Jkjk) In all seriousness though I’m really glad I found your game & I hope that it continues to grow! I can tell you put a lot of love in it. Also I can’t wait to see more but make sure not to overwork/push yourself too hard! ♡ I don’t have a question just wanted to be thristy for Ren & drop some kind words lol

LMAO ren's got everyone in a chokehold rn :') But thank you so so much for this lovely message!! aaaaa ;v; I'm very honoured to be the one behind your new hyper-fixation, but plEASE GET SOME SLEEP SFJAKFKA

Anonymous asked: I love you and this game sooo much 😭 You're seriously so talented and amazing! aaaaaaaAaaaAAA!!!!

wahhh nonnie thank yoooouuuuuuu!!!!!!!! ;o; <3

Anonymous asked: I finally played the game and I love it!! I'm excited for more!!

I'm glad to hear that you loved the demo!! Thank you for your support <3

Anonymous asked: Unrelated but ILYSM SAINT you’re telling me you like, writing, yandere boys, FFXIV, AND DND!!! Please be my friend You are so perfect shahhshsusvsgs (I don’t mean this in a weird way I hope you are by no means uncomfortable I’m sorry)

nonnie we are getting married in FFXIV and DnD fr I'm not joking (i'm joking) Lmao but in all seriousness, it's so relieving(?) to know that there are others out there that share the same interests as me!! Feel free to jump back into my inbox and talk to me about them!! Tell me what you love about writing, yandere characters, ffxiv, or even dnd!! <3

[yibuo]

UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??

i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS

tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)

HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL

long danni= wjjw company ceo

wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under

huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine

alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...

so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP

but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY

anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc

then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 

ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever

-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-

they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 

so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight

so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s

also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY

OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs

anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded

xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting

wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING

peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP

if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird

peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is

anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!

why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 

anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!

here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard

-xnine slideshow

-xnine faq

-xnine eng sub channel by yuer

-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here

-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr

-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not

also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here

also here’s this video dragging wjjw

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY LiveThoughts: V8E7

Since I finally have time for it today, lets make sure Im all caught up for the hiatus. 

Before we get fully started, an idea; Its not a war crime if they’re Grimm. Then its just self defense. So break out the napalm, the cluster bombs, the chemical weapons, the fun stuff. Make em regret it, yeah?

And we start off...on a farm. Looks like my moms old farm in South Dakota. Even on Remnant, hay is best used in bales.

Waiiiit. Thats the place the Whale set down isnt it. I see a Sayber running. Ah, and the Atlas military! Surely, the vanguard of a massive force to hold the line! Also Im glad to see a close up of the helmet for once, I want to make my own. Also, the gloves, and the rifle itself. Not sure why it doesnt have a stock, seems kind of silly...

And airships too, so they got some fire support...whats that wall behind them though?

Also it TOOK US 8 FUCKING SEASONS to get a close up of these FUCKING Weapons. 8. FUCKING. SEASONS. Okay maybe more like 5 cause they didnt first appear till 3 or so but come on. Im so picking this shit apart later. 

Pfft, bros got some nerves going on. Come on man, its just some Grimm, you’ll be FINE.

Atlas field harvesters resemble Halo’s JOTUN Farming equipment. As wel as our own. No surprise there.

Alright, bunch of Saybers, not seeing much of a threat here.

Hey, Paladins! Damn, they...look way different than I remember them to be. 

I wont lie, I dont like the Paladin design. Way to much visual noise, I cant tell where anything IS. 

Also that is the most 2D grass I have sever seen in my fucking life. What the hell are they growing here...

Huh, the whale has two sets of teeth. Wait, its just there? And its wpewing out Grimm. So...why isnt the air force firing on it? 

Yeah its not moving, its just raising its head and slamming down and vomiting out more Grimm. Im not sure what the issue is here, just...seal the mouth. 

Oh, huh. Apathys. Let me guess, RTs gonna try and tell us depression is going to kill most of Atlas. Oh for fuck sake. IM NOT IMPRESSED RT. IM REALLY NOT. IM MORE FUCKING ANNOYED THAN ANYTHING

Okay so...I see what this is. Its farm land outside of atlas proper and there’s an additional wall behind them, plus the power lines I guess? Seems like a viable place to make a stand. 

...thats it. Please tell me this is just a single detachment of the Atlas military because there is less firepower here than a NATIONAL GUARD UNIT ASSIGNED TO ONE CITY

Im fairly certain there are more people assigned to ONE UNIT attached to JBLM then I amm seeing here. 

Not to mention this is an OPEN FIELD the Grimm have to run through. This is a literall fucking TURKEY SHOOT. Running across an open field anywhere is a ticket to DYING.

Just ask the poor fucks on D-day.

Also uh...why is everyone in line formation? What is this, fuckin’ 18009s combat Napoleon style?

And did the distance suddenly change, I feel like the whale suddenly got a hell of a lot closer.

Just...I dont get this. This makes no sense. Did Ironwood learn how to deploy forces from a fairy tale book? This is legitimately some fuckin Lord of the Rings shit here.

RIP that one specific trooper hit by that Behemoth though. Dont worry friend, the thing walked next to a Paladin. Its getting its eye blasted out

And cut back to Ironwood. Doing...fuck if I know what.

Staring angrily it seems.

“Dammit, my tactical deployment by line formation and parade ground tactics isnt holding back the Grimm, curses!”

Well MAYBE IF YOUD THOUGHT TO INVEST IN SOME FUCKING AIR SUPPORT...Seriously.

I know people have told me why this is. I understand myself why this is. But it really just...does...not...jibe with me. At all. 

Okay so more details; first, apparently Atlas has a subway. Makes sense, its a big island. Inter-system transits probably a given. Second; Was that Mantis Squad Omega? Some kind of unit maybe...interesting.

 Also I love how this guy just questions Ironwood. Like, bro, if the General says do it, do it.

Hold the fuck up, why is everyone outside? It looks like fuckin’ Cali during our lockdowns...what ever happened to martial law huh?

Also “underground subway stations”. Yes, thats...kind of what a subway IS. I guess maybe they have overhead ones like New York does. Mass transit be weird like that.

I mean HELL the signs on it are almost identical to the ones in NYC too! Even with the colored circles and train cnumbers. 

According to the sign here they’re at Pickens Square Station. 

Oh boy. Ironwood just fed these poor bastards into a meat grinder. Anyone here ever played the Metro game series, or read the books?

Remember the Dark Ones? The Nosallias? Yeah. Tight corridors and monsters only work out well for angry vodka fueled Russians.

Didnt see it very well but I THINK those Mantas had some kind of wing gun. Either thats new, a separate armament setting, or RT forgot what ind of weapons they gave their ships AGAIN.

Cant get the shields back up, yeah, no shit, they DETACHED ONE OF THE FUCKING PILOTS YOU IDIOTS.

Also hah, they arrested Yang, Ren and Jaune. Not surprised.

Beta squads apperently been hitting the whale. ‘Bombs, missiles, we cant make a dent, sir.” ...while Im not surprised by this, I also hear shades of the opening of Halo 2s level Metropolis. “Where’s the rest of your platoon?” “Wasted, sarge. Blew right through us. Rockets, fifty cals, didnt do nothing.”

Honestly they could have SHOWED THAT too. Them just saying it feels like a cop out to me. Take that as you will. But if you want us to see the things hard to kill, show it. 

Not that I figure Atlas’s rockets are much more than Dust in a propellent tank. Not exactly a Hellfire or TOW.

Nice to see proper military talk for...a moment anyway.

Or what I figure RT figures is proper.

Oh so now the whales moving. Okay...huh.

Jaunes commentary is the same as mine. Though I guess the size seems to shift depending.

Ohhh. Its MANTA. As in the gunships. Alright, sure that works. And this guys making a good call. If you cant hit the big one go after the smaller. Of which there seems to be a HELL of a lot. Actually holy fuck that Grimm spew is across like...ahlf the fucking island right now. Time to fuckin torch and burn people.

Ahhhhhh and they get to the proper idea.  If you cant punch it from the outside, hit it from the inside.

I knew a crew...three madmen, names of Keegan, Lahni and Mac. The Hivebusters. Something tells me a Venom bomb would do the trick...if it can rip apart Swarm creatures as big as a Snatcher or a Swarmak and reduce them to green slime, I think it’ll work on Grimm. 

Something tells me RT isnt gonna give em a bomb though. Too obvious.

NEVER MIND. “Science team is putting together a bomb.”

Also I LOVE how Winter’s pupils expand and retract in fear as she realizes what Ironwoods asking her to do.

Awww now shes getting the shakes too.

Salem directing this shit like shes some kind of orchestra leader. I mean it FITS but...I dunno.

Ah so the command deck is directly behind the whale’s glowing nose. Basically inside where the spermacetiy organ would be in a real sperm whale.

What the fuck is Emerald doing there?

Sneaking I guess. Huh. Why’s she sneaking around the whale. Also, huh. guess seeers can get fooled by Emeralds semblance.  Is HE STILL BEATING UP ON OSCAR? Jeez dude. Take a breather.

Honestly if this was TRUE I would be okay with it. Replace the Huntsman with, I dont know, a massively overequipped military for each Kingdom, let them run rampant...stomp the Grimm out or push them back to nonexistence...everyone lives happily ever after

Lets be real here, the idea of the academies? Really really fucking dumb. Its cute. Fairy tale like.

But if theres one thing this show has taught me its that fairy tales SUCK. Reality...tends to be worse.

Ah theres one of those torture hooks they mentioned a few episodes back. Nice of the whale to have a specific interrigation room.

And at last we get some information on how Salem works. Alright so...what happens if you seperate the parts then? Sink one in the ocean, launch one into space.

Sounds like Oz/Oscars telling the fans what we’ve been saying forever, Companion Book be damned; Salem wants to die.

These mind games bore me. Its cute, but I dont like it cause I cant follow that shit. Give me a straight up fight any day, fuck this sublty backroom fuckery

No lies from them both here honestly.

Medical supplies in Atlas seem almost the same as here on earth interestngly. Also, soup. Or...coffee, tea?

Blake with the obvious here. But I mean thats not really saying much cause...well. Not hard to outfight the Atlas military it seems like.  (Long suffering sigh)

Im gonna make a seperate post about my frustrations with that and leave it there. But dont expect me to stop fully complaining about it because everyones gotta have something to bitch about with this show, and I’ll be DAMNED if I start joining the BB whiners.

Good question, Ruby. Might be that YOUR NOT LIVING IN A FAIRY TALE

I’d like to see these people dying in Mantle. I refuse to believe that there isnt SOMEONE in the nation that once brought Remnant to its heel that wont stand and fight. Unless Im wrong about that too...

May backstory? May backstory. Yeah.  Not amazingly complicated but it works. Cant tell if shes Henry though...or was. 

Dramatic lightning flash

Cute you think that Ruby. Theres sides. Always are.

Further proof honestly.

Hazels look of though is amusing. Cant tell if he doesnt believe Oscar, or if his tiny peabrain is runing full bore to think this through.

Coordination between farm boy and professor.

Oh. OHHHH. Plants the seed of doubt in Hazels tiny mind, he uses the last question for himself, sees the truth... Clever, Oscar. Clever.

Hazel peabrain go THUNK

Ah so Mercs going off to Vacuo. Guess that means everyone else is going there next too. Eat that, random Discord person, I called it.

Course, CFVYs there so...maybe we get to see Yats beat up on him.

Oh hi Tyrian. Do you just...randomly roam the halls of the whale waiting to DRAMATICALLY REVEAL YOURSELF and give violent expositon? Im very much okay with that.

Also I love how he just...accepts this. Totally fucking bonkers, totally down with it. 

Oh shit, Tyrian and Mercury going to Vacuo? Damn thats gonna be INTERESTING. I guess Tyrian’ll fit in well enough honestly.

Flying Beringal literally out of the roof. 

I remember back when this season first started and I said those weird bone platforms looked like VTOL launch bays. Guess what? They are.

Merc and Em emotion blah blah DONT CAAARRREEE

Jaune thinking tactically for ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE. An I mean military tactical of course.

Also I like how the Aces say they dont let emotions cloud their shit WHEN THEYVE BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME.

This ENTIRE PLANET is emotionally run. Thats why the Grimm are such an issue! Makes small note to make Remnant Adeptus Mechanicus cult

Seriously though...

I wont lie though, Hare isnt wrong. Wonder what happened to that Tortuga guy. Tyrian, is my guess. Love how Ren interrupts the moment they almost mention Clovers name.

Expendable, yes. Replacable, no. You should have a talk with squadron leader Grey from Star Wars Squadrons Ren

ANNNNDDD SEMBLANCE EVOLUTION. Or the edibles just kicked in.

This is cool and all but its really fucking dumb and hamfisted. Explain all you want. Mention emotions all you want.

The Aces are fucking huntsmen. HUNTSMEN. FUCKING. SUCK. They always have. Its a dumb idea. Yes, lets stop the hordes of monsters invading this world BY SENDING IN SINGLE OPERATIVES WITH FUCKING MELEE WEAPONS

I’ll make this clear to you, Ren, right here and now. If you faced a REAL elites, you wouldnt have stood a chance. Nor would RWBY. Their bodies would have been three-shot from 20 meters out with a breach and clear and stacked against the wall like cords of wood, one final shot to the dome to make dead sure they were down. None of this stupid flipping and acrobatic crap, none of this clashing weapons and Dust and semblances...no. 

You’d be dead before you knew they were there and they would move on. You’d just be another body to the pile, one more faceless corpse to add to their kill count. A meatgrinder in human form. 

Professionals. Dont. Lose. AND THE ACES ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS!

Because thats not what RWBYs about, never has been.  And that is what annoys me slightly. That and the fact I cant distangle what I know of other universes and our own from RWBY’s. Its hard to hold a universe on its own when everything they make points towards it being like ours, but they change it when they see fit. 

I feel like thats bad writing.

Hehehe. Winter touched Elms boob.

Glad to know that Winters got her priorities right. Course, that bomb probably aint gonna do shit cause its Dust based.

...again, hoping its a chemical weapon...

Wait, the Atlas forces from earlier are STILL FIGHTING? Damn, these Grimm must suck if they couldnt wipe them out in that little time...

Also I cant tell if its getting dark cause of the storm or if its the dawn of the next day.  Or did...they shift time around? I lost track. I SWORE the sun was setting the last time we saw everything.

Also return of the shitty 3D grass...

Marrows gonna defect.

Awww poor Winters got emotions. HEY MAYBE DONT SEND A MENSTRATING WOMAN OUT ON A FIELD OP, ATLAS!

So according to May there’s still front lines. Cool. 

AYYY ITS KLIEN! HES BACK

Oh, I guess hes a doctor too. Oh he MAD.

Ayyy Whitleys being USEFUL for fucking once in his shitty life.

Shes gonna hug him isnt she.

CALLED IT. For fuck sake...whatever. Cute. But whatever.

Oh annnnddd now Grimmquake?

No. It stopped...Bolide?

No. PENNY.

Annnnddd shes leaking coolant. And sparking. And dead.

RIP Penny.

The concept art of the beached whale looks so fucking silly. Seriously, just...detach the whole section there. Drop the fucking thing. 

Oh well.

And thats it for almost two months! Be prepared for me to BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH ALL OF IT and continue on with my military fanwank because THATS HOW IM SURVIVING 2020!

[nar-nia]

hi, love

i discovered ur blog by a total accident, looking for something to read, while scrolling through heeseung tag (cuz im a simp) i saw the babysitters club teaser, and i was rly excited to say the least, after u posted i honestly fell in love with ur writing style, the way u describe things and the amazing plot <33, i remember i reread it with heart eyes, not kidding

so naturally i started reading all the other fics for enhypen boys and the current heeseung series has me in chokehold!!! it's truly amazing and im always super super excited for fridays! the story line is phenomenal even though hee is a silly boy *sigh* hope he will do better!

also the short angsty (1:40 pm) drabble u posted recently omg it was just wow, i felt it in my heart, kinda relatable ngl <\3 where is my hee *shaking my head*

anyway

im rly confused why ur works are not receiving the attention and love they deserve, its really sad :((( i hope it doesn't bother u that much tho, but trust me i try rly hard to send ask everytime u post so at least u know there is someone here!! I AM!!!!!✨

im very thankful for this blog its nice, fun, quiet and quite a fantastic place, i feel rly cozy coming here and rereading ur works is always fun, but it might be a little creepy how many times i read baby sitting club - but what can i say it is my comfort fic <33

im sorry if u are having hard time, nina!!! i think u are amazing and ur art is truly stunning!! *smooch on the forehead*, whatever u are doing right now im proud of u, keep going!!

this message reminded of that one meme/copy pasta tho

 If Nina has million number of fans i am one of them if nina has ten fans i am one of them if nina have only one fan and that is me if nina has no fans, that means i am no more on the earth . if world against nina, i am against the world. i love #nina till my last breath.. .. Die Hard fan of nina

your ask actually made me cry a bit, it was so sweet and kind 💖 thank you so much.

aren't we all simps for heeseung? that guy is just so * loud screaming* but i'm glad that you discovered my stories thanks to it 🤭 and the babysitters club! i'm still so proud of this story, i think i had heart eyes while writing it too 😅 but hearing that you loved it makes me really happy.

and the heeseung story, yay 🥰 it breaks my heart every time i have to write something else than sweet moments for y/n and hee but it has to be 😔 not for much longer though, if i'm allowed to say this little spoiler!

i'm sorry that you can relate to the drabble 😕 it was a spontaneous idea and involved a lot of self-insertion so i know how you feel. i'm not heeseung but i'm sending you a big hug anyways <33

I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE HERE 💖💖 it makes me really happy seeing your asks after every chapter, and it motivates me even more to write new chapters. i don't mind how many people read my stories as long as the ones that do enjoy it 😊 i'm already amazed that other people than my friends actually love what i'm doing here. and i'm grateful that you are here <33

now this is the part where i started crying because not only did you say so many nice things about my blog but also the fact that the babysitters club is your comfort fic? it's definitely not creepy if you've reread it a lot of times, it's so sweet and kind and i'm really getting emotional right now. please read it as often as you want, i'm glad it can give you comfort!

i already feel better reading your ask (even though i said i was crying right before... IT WAS HAPPY TEARS) <33

thank you thank you thank you 💖💖

[bunny-rambles]

hey bun! i know you probably wont see this after you come back from your break and thats okay. i just wanna say that you definitely deserve this break and i hope that you take as much time as you need to recuperate and feel better. im sorry that you and your work isnt being appreciated as much as it should

:(( tumblr really sucks. anyways i just really wanted to send you some well wishes and hugs as i wont be online for about 3 weeks or so due to some exams.

I wanted to say that im really happy and grateful to have found your account. its honestly brought me so much happiness and helped me cope with my studies. you even inspired me to start writing again after a 2 year hiatus!! thank you so much for all your hard effort, you deserve a calm and peaceful break to get away from all your stress and worries.

i hope to be back soon and i hope you are okay and feeling better when you see this ask :))

- king

I read this while I was on the break,

and I really wanted to reply, but it wouldn’t of been more than a few words because I was speechless that someone cared this much to send such a thoughtful paragraph to me. Thank you.

The attention to my work did affect me but it wasn’t the reason why I left. Tumblr traffic in general from what I’ve seen is just down, which is a shame because some writers who need more recognition are just fading out, most likely because they’re giving too much and gaining too little.

I write because I like writing, and I will continue to post my pieces regardless of attention towards them, but lack of interaction with them really makes me doubt if they’re good enough to post, which is rather hurtful.

Anyway, onto the bigger thing; I inspired you to write again? Me?

I really didn’t think I would ever inspire anyone, ever. Not for anything. Knowing that I inspired you with writing, ( which is probably one of my favourite hobbies) made me cry, and feel a lot better while I was away healing. I’m so, so happy I helped you get that spark of creativity again, that means the world to me :,)

Thank you for your sweet words, I’m glad I could help ease your stress with my silly little writing about kissing pretty boys hehe.

I am wishing you all the luck in the world with your studies and your exams, you got this !! I’m already proud of you no matter the outcome. You’re king anon, actual royalty in my eyes, you’re going to do amazing things I just know it.

I’ll see you soon <33

[ikesenmotonari]

yay that ikesen oc thing. she’s a multifandom oc but hey im not creative so i might as well JAM her into another universe lets go lads

idk who to tag but if u have an ikesen oc go for it i wanna know bout em!!!

i was tagged by @nyktoon-ikemenlove thank you sweetheart!!!

Age? Height?

“Hi! I’m Melody Wyverne, but my friends if I had any would call me Mel, Mells… that fun stuff! I’m nineteen and I’m five foot two!”

She’s petite, on the curvy side. She’s 5′2″, or 155 cm; she is only nineteen and wants to go home. lmao

What’s your fashion like? [Time travelers – pre & post-wormhole!]

“Er, pre time-jump I was a fan of sleeveless hoodies and high-waisted jeans. I didn’t go out much, so I dressed comfortably. Now I wear kimono and hakama… it’s pretty. I sure hope it didn’t trouble people too much to make these…!“

The top one is an older doodle. thonk emojis

Where are you from?

“I’m from Canada, actually. I lived alone for a bit then my dad reached out to me and asked me if I’d like to spend some time with him in Japan. So uh, I just wanted to talk to him again and thought this would be a good way for me to intern somewhere… it might as well be his business right? Then the storm thing.“

Her mom is French, her dad is English. She’s got a ridiculously high IQ level and no social skills whatsoever, so she knows most Japanese and speaks it pretty okay despite her North American kind of accent. Is that a thing? thonks

Feudal era – pros and/ or cons?

“There are pros?!“ She’s not very happy being surrounded by blood and death…

Pros? Cool clothes. Cons? HAVE YOU MET THESE PEOPLE?!

If you’re not in your homeland/time, do you want to go home?

“Gosh. Absolutely.“

What’s your home life like?

“Well, I’ll run you through a usual day! Ah… well, I’d eat something, then play with my cat, talk to Avery for a bit, then… yeah I’d spend the rest of it at the garage, just working on my projects! It’s… I like working. It’s not healthy, and I’ve been told… but it’s nice, you know?“

Melody doesn’t go outside.

She scarcely leaves her property and the only close friends she has is a cat and a cyborg (a man with no arms). Her parents split years ago and she wasn’t properly socialized as a kid. Being raised as a certified genius? It’s… lonely. She doesn’t know how it’s affected her, but being thrown back in time is forcing her to look at things differently.

You just got your dream job! What is it? / Or, what’s your line of work?

“I’m a programmer on the side, but first and foremost, I make prosthesis for people. I have a background in medicine and engineering I suppose…”

Any other hobbies or skills? Do you use them / how do you use them in the Sengoku period?

“Not really… I can barely take care of myself as is, haha! Erm. I can’t use my skills much at all in this era. Other than some simple automatons, there’s also guns I can piece apart, but I’m more hesitant with those… all I can do is use my expertise in biology I guess. There’s a lot of injuries going around, and I’m glad I’m not completely useless.“

Where is your base of operations? Azuchi Castle? Kasugayama Castle? A pirate ship? Running all over the woods or in a secret monastery? Some other cool place?

“I woke up in a forest near Azuchi and stayed in a neutral tea house for a while before Lord Masamune pretty much dragged me to the castle. So I stayed there for a few months, and the warlords grew on me, but… I… got kidnapped. So I guess my base of operations is a pirate ship.”

Oh?

“…I don’t like it. Don’t get me started on their captain…”

How do you feel about killing and violence?

“I just wish there’s another way past it all. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the logic behind killing someone. I… I’m a doctor. Not a murderer.”

Have you learned to fight? If so, what’s your weapon and/or fighting style of choice?

“Nope, actually. But there’s some good guys on board that might be willing to teach me! At least, I hope so. The only thing I’m leaning towards are guns, unfortunately, but they’re the closest thing to a modern mechanism I can get. Eep… I don’t know how to fight! I don’t want to!”

What are you fighting for?

“Um, my life?!“ It changes. Eventually. ;3

What are your feelings about authority?

“As long as they’re not bullies? Fine.” She pauses. “Lord Nobunaga was different though. I didn’t understand him fully, but he doesn’t really make fun of me or anything. He’s just curious I guess. I don’t tend to question authority unlike some pirates.”

How do you handle someone invading your personal space?

“I just get really uncomfortable and back away if I can. I can’t bring myself to yell at people unless they’ve seriously whittled down on my patience. I didn’t know I had it in me, actually… huh.“

…do you invade people’s personal space?

“Ha…. haha! Yeah, sometimes. I get nosy okay? I didn’t even know what personal space was until I was eleven!”

Are you more open, or more reserved? Are you secretive?

“Avery says I’m an open book. I have nothing to hide, no secrets to keep. There’s not much that happened to me before, so I guess I’m some kind of blank slate? Gee, that sounds so harsh…”

Is this the first time you’ve been truly in love?

 “Love? Have you spoken to these people?”

Eventually? Yeah. Yeah this is her first time.

What’s your style as a lover? (interpret this as innocently or not-innocently as you please ;) )

She’s sweet, affectionate and balanced. She knows when to handle time with her partner and time working on whatever independent activities. Though she’s quite a dense person overall and won’t realize if she’s even fallen for someone, she deeply and wholeheartedly trusts them. It takes a while for her to know this.

Also, she’s 99% submissive and slightly masochistic. As well as a rope bunny.

What are your favorite ways for someone to show you love?

Touches, fleeting ones. Tight hugs, any kind of embrace. Show her something unconditional, undivided. She’s been isolated for so long she convinced herself she won’t have someone to love, so she carries on merrily alone, not knowing how deprived she is of human contact. Hmm.

Take her on an adventure. Bring her out of her comfort zone. Show her what the world could be like… you’ll change her.

Do you use a petname or endearments for your lover(s)?

Not really, she would give nicknames if she could! She already says things like ‘honey’ and ‘dear’, but nothing too mushy unless it becomes super playful and joking.

How do you feel about…

Nobunaga? “He’s such a complicated warlord… I don’t know if I’ll ever understand him. But he’s shown some really keen interest in me. Is it because I’m a Westerner? Either way, Lord Nobunaga scared me and he still does. But after spending months in the castle and talking to him, he’s not actually as mean as I thought he was. I don’t know why he laughs at me though! I guess the things I do seem really silly to him!”

Hideyoshi? “Oh he’s super nice. He taught me how to make tea when mister Mitsunari and I put way too much leaves in. He tends to scold me for staying up though, but I can’t help my insomnia without my pills! It’s really comforting to know that Lord Hideyoshi is looking out for me though. The things he does reminds me of how Avery takes care of me, so I guess he’s like a big brother? Heehee.”

Masamune? “He was the one who brought me to Azuchi castle, and boy is he wild! His energy shocked me honestly, it’s like he never runs out of it. He’s so cool though! He kinda scared me too, and I’m pretty sure he can stab me once told to, but he’s been really playful. I didn’t know I’d have so much fun in Azuchi thanks to him. And he makes amazing food! Though he should stop bugging me to eat three meals a day…”

Ieyasu? “Aw man, I wish I can talk to him without him speedwalking away or trying to avoid me! He’s reading stuff about medicine, right? I’d like to know what he’s learning. It’s no doubt super different from modern medicine. I try to talk to him sometimes but Lord Ieyasu’s always busy… was it something I said?”

You know that question about invading personal space? Melody leans in to peer over at his books sometimes. She’s a bit too friendly to his liking.

Mitsunari? “I relate to him a lot. He’s really friendly and sometimes I’d spend my free time reading with him. Time goes by so fast though and either Lord Hideyoshi or Lord Ieyasu would step in to tell us we’ve missed dinner…”

Literally. They are so alike. They got along swell.

Mitsuhide? “S-Scary… have you heard of those rumors about him? I mean, in person he’s okay, but he’s just tall and intimidating to me. He did take me out to the marketplace once and show me around, which… well, nevermind. I guess he’s nice. Apparently Lord Hideyoshi told him to stop teasing me, but I don’t recall being teased?”

She’s dense. 

Shingen? “Big man. Very tall, and… I think he was flirting with me. Whatever it was, he’s… really.. erm, polite and all, and I met him along with Yukimura and Sasuke at the forest tea house before I was taken to Azuchi. I don’t know him too well, but with what Lord Nobunaga told me, he must be a strong warlord…”

Kenshin? “I never met the guy. With a title like the ‘God of War’, I don’t think I want to…!” Fear.

Yukimura? “He’s… he’s kind of… what’s the word, gruff, isn’t he? I met him along with Shingen and I guess it’s a good quality to be honest and stuff. I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

She spilled tea on him. You can imagine the rest. Sasuke came in clutch.

Sasuke? “He’s super great. I wish I had more time to talk to him! He kinda saw right through my attempt to hide the fact that I’m from the future and he gave me helpful advice on fitting in and staying under the radar. Eep, sorry I got dragged to the castle, Sasuke! We can talk about astrophysics another time…! Seriously, I’m so grateful to him. Without his advice I’d probably be in big trouble.”

Kennyo? “He went near the tea house once and was feeding the fish in the koi pond. He’s scary, but… he’s nice. I served him tea and some dumplings. I had no idea he hated Lord Nobunaga so much…”

Motonari? “Ugh… infuriating. I didn’t know I could be so angry at someone before I met this guy. The nerve he has, to kidnap me in broad daylight, spit on Azuchi defenses, and then use me as his impromptu surgeon for the high seas! Hmph. … I… I don’t know. The more time I spend with him, I feel like I’m not going anywhere - you know, I try to get along, I really do, but I think he’s keeping me away? Like, he just tends to stay shallow with people. As annoying as he can get… I want to know why. He’s shown how playful he could be, and his crew loves him. He gives me the same vibes as Lord Nobunaga, actually… intimidating, but I want to know more about him.”

Any other friends/notables?

“I have a friend named Avery and he’s awesome! He took care of me ever since I was eleven, he was twenty-one at the time and now he’s thirty. He’s like a dad to me. Oh, and this isn’t too important, but he has metal arms. I made those! Er, the updated ones, actually. Just to make sure they’re functioning like real arms and all. The prototypes were made by my mom and he was severely injured, so the surgery took a while. He and I grew really close after my parents’ divorce. He lives a few blocks down, and he has eight dogs. Don’t ask ME why, you should ask HIM. … I miss him. I hope he’s okay.”

She also has a cat named Charlie. He’s a grey ragdoll. That’s… that’s about it.

hooray for my shallow motonari headcanons with trust issues

[franeridart]

I absolutely adore every single KiriBaku thing you draw. They’re so pure and I love them.

;O; !!!!! thank you holy heck!!!!!

Anon said:Fran i missed your hq fanart, it was so good seeing some more from you!

I’m happy you liked them!!!! I missed drawing them too, really !!!!

Anon said:Imagine this - BNHA kids like It kids. Also love your art!

But I haven’t watched It :O and thank you!!!

Anon said: Is it ok if fictionkin people reblog your art and tag it as kin or anything of the sort?

Sure! People are gonna do so anyway whatever I say after all, and this seems like a really silly thing to get bothered over since it’s not like it hurts me in any way haha

Anon said:Who dabs more, Denki or Mina?

If I gotta pick one I’d say Kaminari, but I sure as heck hope dabbing isn’t still a thing in whatever future bnha is set in, anon hahaha

Anon said:yo i love it when you color your sketches, so pretty!!

OH BOY thank you so so much!!!!! :O

Anon said:I love you and your art so much?? like??? you’re so perfect?? just keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing fucking amazing

I’m the furthest thing from perfect you’re gonna find, anon haha but thank you so much for the compliment!!

Anon said:thank you for always making me smile.

And thank you cause this ask made me smile, anon!!

Anon said:your coloring skills are improving!!! gosh your art is visibly getting better lately (not that it’s even been “bad”, there’s no such thing!! i’ve always loved it). i don’t know if it’s a good idea to tell you this but i mean it as a genuine compliment!

Are they really??? °O° I wouldn’t have said so, honestly haha but I’m super happy to hear that, thank you!!

Anon said:Are any of your OCs romantically involved? Or are they all just good friends?

Yes and no, depending on at which point in their respective story we’re talking about haha Josh and Chris are in love with each other, and so are Max and Leo (well, their situation is a bit… uncommon, but if I were ever to write their story they’d be together in the end) - I once posted about Gabe and Hector, and by the end of their story they’re in a poly relationship with a girl named Erica I’ve never posted about. Luca has a love (?) interest of sort but he’s not been posted about yet hohoho maybe sometime in the near future. Still deciding about Isa and Ana’s relationship, but maybe. Who knows? That’s about it as far as the ones I’ve posted about go :D

Anon said:your ocs are adorable!! esp ana, I want to know EVERYTHING ABOUT HER (and, yeah, having new ocs is super exciting, like you said! just– being able to figure all that stuff out, actually mould a character of your own– it’s a lot of fun!!!)

Anon said: What are Ana and Isa like? From that drawing, I already think I would want to be friends with Isa! She looks like lots of fun!

She is!! She’s sort of a jock, a bit of a dummy and really loud, she’s easy to make laugh and got the type of laughter that makes you wanna laugh with her so when she’s around the mood is always a good one! She’s not exactly a social butterfly, but she’s got no problems with socializing, knows by instinct how to bend her behaviour to fit with all types of people and has the incredible ability to have every and all awkward situations fly right over her head, she just doesn’t notice them, and that makes it hard to be anything but relaxed when she’s around. She’s actually how she and Ana got in the group, since she’s gym buddies with Leo! She also really really likes ball sports :D

Ana’s an introvert all the way through, on the other hand - she’s really witty and sassy when she feels comfortable enough, and sarcasm is her preferred way of communicating, but if she doesn’t know you/ too many people she isn’t 100% comfortable with are around she comes off as timid and closed off, smiles politely and barely utters a word - people assume she’s the subdued and shy type at first so once she starts opening up it’s always sort of a shock haha she’s got a scientific mind and while she isn’t a “gifted kid” like Chris she likes to learn and study a lot, which is why she ended up having a real great relationship with Chris specifically out of everyone in the group (they like to nerd out together) (Josh isn’t particularly happy about it, the jelly idiot) 

Anon said: I love seeing you drawing and getting asks about your OCs. They have so much personality and it makes me super happy. I hope you’ll feel like sharing them with us more often!

Thank you so much!!!! I’m really really happy people seem to like them too!!!! :O

Anon said:you draw the children so long i love it :0

!!!!! :D thank you!!!

Anon said:Did you now that the voice actor of Tenya is also the one of Kageyama ? (I start Haikyuu because of you by the way, thanks for this and for all your great art !)

I did know!!! There’s a lot of hq va’s in bnha, that’s always made me happy haha

Anon said:Love the new Haikyuu art! Although it’s sad that someone made you lose motivation to draw BNHA :/ Daishou is one of my faves, too. He’s such a doof, love it.

OH BOY I love Daishou so much, I’m glad you like him too! Aside from how much fun he is to draw (and color! he’s a green haired boy and that matters lots to me haha) he’s got so much personality and he’s such an interesting character! I honest to god disliked him with a passion during the nekohebi game, actually haha but that’s how it is with most of my hq faves, after all hahaha glad you liked the doodles, by the way!!!

Anon said:DOGS? SHOUTS? LUCA IS MY KINDA GUY

THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY ANGRY SON !!!!!! :D

Anon said:I love Luca! Where did he get his scar?

A fight with some punks back when he was a teen that ended up escalating when knives became a thing that was being used :O he comes off as the dangerous sorta type which makes good people steer clear and bad ones come looking for trouble/ pick fights with him cause they assume he was picking a fight cause of his resting bitch face. Well, he’s an ass so let’s say that at least half the times he had been picking fights, and it’s not like he runs when someone tries to fight him anyway… that’s not the only scar he has, it’s just the most visible one haha

Anon said:I’m kinda freaking out about Luca and the others being italians! It makes me love your OCs even more ahah Btw, don’t know if you’ve already answered this or if it’s too personal but… are you Italian? (Or what nationality?)

Yah I am! :D and I’m super happy to hear you like my kids!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to let you know that you inspire me a lot! Your blog is honestly such a happy, fun place to be. You draw so much stuff, so much cute and sweet stuff regularly and I aspire to be like that! I’m extremely slow at drawing, and I lose motivation or get distracted from drawing easily, but I’m hoping for a day when I can make a blog just like yours; a place where I can regularly draw things that make me happy. I hope you have a wonderful day!

I’m!!!! so happy to hear that!!!!! And yeah I 100% understand the being slow and getting discouraged easily, I used to be (and sort of still am) like that too :O my need to be faster is what had me end up with the style I have now, actually haha I hope you’ll find a comfortable style that’ll let you be as fast as you wish soon too, anon!!!

Anon said:I don’t think you understand how much it means to me that you drew an asahi! He’s my fave and he looks precious and pretty in your style! Thank you for this gift :’)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad you liked him, then!!!!!!! *O* thank you!!!!!

Anon said:Thank you for drawing Noya! Im sorry it was sort of cause of a shitty anon, I also really enjoy your bnha drawings so im not trying to be all “waaaah go back to hq”, but im happy to see my lightning son and also find out hes in your favs? Yay!

YAH HE’S THE BEST ISN’T HE he’s been one of my top 5s since he first appeared, he’s such a good I’m glad you liked him!!!!!!!!

Anon said:FRAN YOUR NEW HQ ART IM IN LOVE!!!!!! YOU DRAW DAISHOU LIKE A LITERAL SNAKE HES SO SMUG ITS SO GOOD!! AND YOUR OCS!! I WOULD HONESTLY READ A BOOK ABOUT THEM. OR A WEB COMIC. BOTH ARE GOOD. SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS IM JUST EXCITED BC HQ!!!! AND AWESOME OCS!!!! (can you tell that i have a weakness for other people’s ocs, esp when done well) (which you certainly have)

THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS OH GODS !!!!!!!!!!!! Especially about my ocs, that makes me so happy oh boy ;O; !!! And and and I’m super happy you liked Dai! He’s honestly so much fun to draw, for me hahaha

Anon said:I’m sorry that people are being assholes, sending good vibes! I love all your art, I hope you have a good day

This to you and everyone else who’s sent the same type of ask, thank you SO much! You guys are all so incredibly nice and supportive, bless all of you ;O;

Anon said:Dave!!! :D

Dave indeed!!!!!! :D :D

Anon said:your art is Good

Thank You !!!!!!!!

Anon said:omg i love your ocs so much

SOB thank you?????

Anon said:I love how the collar on Kiri’s coat in the ‘Them boys’ post is reminiscent of his pauldrons

……………………………………………….. that was totally on purpose. Yep. Definitely. Hmhm.

Anon said:Anon from before showed me your stuff today and just wanted to say wow I love your stuff what even your art is so good I fuckin love kiribaku and oh my god I swear I must have gone through your whole kiribaku tag and I’m gone your art just made my day

GOSH I’m glad you liked them???? thank you for such a nice message aaahhhh !!!!!!

Anon said:Im cry omg i just realized ur url is franeridart fjhfhf this whole time i thought it was friend art bddnjx

You’re the second person that tells me that in the span of just a couple of days omfg hahahaha it’s cool tho, I wish that was actually the url, it’d have been such a soft one haha

Anon said:hi Kaminari can skateboard he has a skateboard in his room

Kaminari in his room also has a dart board, a basketball and a dj console, and that’s only the stuff whe can see so actually, considering in his likes there’s “cool things” I think he’s the type of boy that tries to pursue any hobbie he might think would make him look cool, so either he has no clue how to use any of the cool things in his room above a vaguely amatorial level or he’s still pursuing all of those interests! Which would actually be super cool! Incidentally this is my preferred headcanon too so, yeah, as far as I’m concerned he knows how to skate. And play basketball. And darts. And also how to dj. He’s a cool kid haha

Anon said:Bless you and your super cute kiribaku ^_^

Bless you for the super sweet message, anon!!!! ;O;

Anon said:THAT JIROU IS SO TINY AND ADORABLE I’M DYING LOOK AT HER SIDE BY SIDE WITH KAMINARI AND BAKUGOU OH MY GOD

Hahahaha I might have actually accentuated that a bit, but she’s about 20cm shorter than the both of them and in a chibi style that’s hard to keep accurate hahahaha but yeah I love my pocket sized girl she’s the best

Anon said:Im so fucking happy because youve been posting (almost?) daily for a few days now

That was my own poor attempt at something similar to inktober, actually! I’ve had a few days through the month I wasn’t at home at all so I couldn’t draw all 31 days, but I think I got close? Maybe? I’m glad you enjoyed it, tho!!

Anon said:you deserve all the love in the world

I’m f sobbing so do you, friend ;u;

Anon said:do you like as*noya?? or, which are your main pairings for asahi and noya :)

I do ship as*noya, but I prefer Asahi with Daichi and Suga (ot3) or with Kiyoko, actually :O while my fav Noya ship is with Tanaka~

Anon said:I have recently fallen totally in love with kiribaku as a ship, and your art is always my favorite to see in the tags. Thanks for drawing those two nerds, and I hope you have a good rest of your day!

Thank you!!!!! This fandom is super full of incredibly talented people, I hope you’ll enjoy it here hahaha

Anon said: I first found your blog searching the Bokuroo tag.I was very happy because it was one of my all time OTPs,but they didnt have much content.Then there you came,with amazing art.Time passed and you watched BNHA.I was absolutely captivated by BakuShima and then I checked your blog and it had BakuShima!!I told myself “this person cant get any cooler”.But today i found out about TetsuKami and I checked their tag and yoU ALREADY MADE FANART OF THEM!!Officially ,you are the coolest person on Tumblr tbh

We seem to have really really similar tastes in ships, anon!!!! that’s so great omfg !!!!!!! :O and I’m super happy you like my stuff still afer all this time hahaha

Anon said:Could I draw some fan art of your ocs?

Oh my god yeah!!!!! please do link me to it if you do!!!!!

Anon said:BLESS YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL FOR MAKING SUCH AMAZING ART

BLESS YOU FOR BEING SO KIND, ANON!!!!!!

[smireyac]

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020 

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!! 

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing.... 

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe...... 

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year...... 

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ??? 

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr 

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something 

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!! 

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!! 

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao 

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now.......... 

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol  

so yeah 

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

[starco-conut]

Our Thoughts on Season 3

Hey everyone!! as you may have seen...Alan and I have been just a bit let down by some of the stuff going on. Luckily, we’re both huge ass nerds so we wrote it all out in a multi-paragraph post. With visual aids! if you’ve been feeling a little offput by the new episodes but can’t place why, we probably have your reason put into words somewhere in here. 

Reviews, replies, general additions to this post are not only permitted, but strongly encouraged!! :D

bold is nicole. italics is alan

Scent of a hoodie

I mean. one word summary;... Uncomfortable. it was rough to watch my girl obsess like that and honestly??? there was no clear message at the end... with the whole ‘the scent is in ur heart....’ do they mean to imply she’s getting over marco or that he’s always gonna be around in her mind??????????. yeh. not much to say here.

this episode was kind of strange and felt really awkward with star’s obsession with marco but had a sweet ending with star learning that its really unhealthy for her to latch onto marco like this and its time to move on. it felt like one of those iffy episodes throughout most of it but the end was decent enough

Rest in Pudding

Her little monologue to glossaryk was super cute and well done!! that whole bit was just. Good! felt like Old Times! but then there’s

This was... a gag? I dont know. when i saw it first my gut reaction was that they were setting up some angst about how star’s calling people on earth that aren’t her best friend Marco and THAT got me!! i was Ready To Be Hurt by that! but then like...nothing. Unless it comes up in a nearing episode this was just a bad joke. overall episode wasn’t bad at all though!!

i really enjoyed this episode! the pacing, mystery, and comedy all held up to the Star standard and only had a small amount of plot progression which felt appropriate for a halloween episode. my only gripe is that after the whole Battle For Mewni deal, i expected Moon to believe Star a bit more when she says Glossaryck is alive

oh yeah that too for sure

Club Snubbed

pretty much made me want to die and barf simultaneously. when it got to the scene above, where she talked about just needing a friend i thought, hey, thats cool. and accurate. maybe that dance scene clip, since its unfortunately not a flashback, is going to be presented as platonic!

nope. anyone in for a suicide pact?

To be fair, i should elaborate. Tomstar, in theory, is super cool. I definitely vibed with the fire and butterfly magic mix happening, back when I thought it was a flashback. But...Its been, what, 5, maybe 6 episodes since marco left and she’s already just...whoop? who’s marco? haha what? There’s not enough time. 

And from what I can tell, none of their old issues have been addressed. Tom still has anger issues, but because ‘its hard’ and he’s ‘trying’ suddenly star’s all over him? sleazy ppl come to their exes like ‘i’ve changed!!’ for a reason. the ex should actually. want. to see. change. Star seems content to say ‘fuckall, tom’s here, why not’

WHICH..could actually be good? If it’s presented that way? My hope is that she’s latching on to Tom because they have history, and a bond already. Marco’s gone suddenly, she’s urging for somewhere to direct her affection- lord knows the sweet girl has lots to give. and then they’ll part as friends after she realizes whatever they are now is unhealthy and ingenuine romantically. I have no backing for this and honestly it doesn’t look like that’s the way they’re going but... I’m gonna hope.

this episode definitely throws a spin on our view of tom as an “uncaring, lying, manipulative ex boyfriend” and for the first time i felt like i really saw Tom Lucitor, a boy with anger issues and an unfortunate history with his actions. i was really glad to see this character growth for him but i feel like the writers completely skipped over the real impacts that a relationship like tom and star’s had on each other. 

yes!! i didn’t say but, i kinda love tom as an independent character. his anger issues are presented as a part of his personality, he is a guy who has anger issues, not Anger Issues in a physical form. lots of cool depth on that.

realistically, star would not immediately fall back in love with tom because...why would she? we as the viewers know that Tom has changed but to Star? he has a significant history of lying to manipulate her and marco to get closer to them and star doesn’t have a real reason to believe what he’s saying is true and she shouldn’t have 100% faith in him so quickly especially when she had 0 trust in him just a few minutes prior. overall i was impressed with the development for tom but the future implications were disappointing to me

i will be talking more about my issues with Star and her trust issues later.

Stranger Danger

My only issue with this episode is that it doesn't exist outside of its own ten minutes. I literally forgot about it til i looked up an episode list of s3 to write this post. Eclipsa is sitting there, queen of darkness, in the same castle grounds as star, and shes nor the trial is brought up in the subsequent episodes. Alan goes wild on this one so I’ll let him take it away- he’s 100% on point here.

THIS IS A LONG ONE BOYS, STRAP IN,

i agree with nicole here, there is no buildup to the immense revelation that eclipsa is free and roaming the castle gardens. battle for mewni had planted the seed that eclipsa was breaking out but there was no mention of this in any other episode. and then there’s this:

what was this all about?? did no one notice that Eclipsa, the Queen of Darkness, one of the most powerful queens and magic users in Mewni’s history, and a wanted criminal, was FREE FROM THE CRYSTAL THEY FROZE HER IN?? And in BFM, Moon even visits Eclipsa’s crystal prison to check if she’s still there but now? she didnt seem worried about it AT ALL. only when Star is peacefully talking to her does Moon and the magic high comission show up because...plot reasons.

aside from that, however, i feel like the pacing in this episode was not planned very well. from the opening scene of Star taking care of Glossaryck for well over 4 minutes, it felt like this was going to be a fun silly episode with general shenanigans (there’s nothing wrong with silly episodes, it just didn’t end up being one). but halfway through the episode, eclipsa shows up and suddenly the plot is moving at a rapid pace. and while this felt like it should have been the climax of the 11-minutes, the climax just continues? there is no falling action in this episode. it continues with star being decontaminated and at one point she is strapped to an examining table and flashes through some disturbing faces

why is she smiling? who drew this? this feels really creepy, like someone is putting their kinks into the show and its really uncomfortable to watch and think about. there is a heart touching moment with Moon and Star talking about their actions and both side have somewhat understandable reasons, though star clearly has the show’s bias so the plot progresses (which is not necessarily a bad thing). afterwards, Star meets Eclipsa in her cell and still, the climax of the episode has not fallen at all with all the arguing. and then finally when star confronts eclipsa in her tower, she says,

“Just because i didn’t want you crystalized again, doesn’t mean i trust you.”

????

She literally has no past with eclipsa other than having a pleasant conversation with her. She knows next to nothing about her actual actions or personality but immediately doesn’t trust her? but in Club Snubbed she immediately trusts tom? the guy who directly had severe negative impacts on her life?? Why?! Why are the writers so inconsistent? nothing makes sense! It’s cheap, forced romance that’s why!

and after this ridiculously long climax the episode just ENDS. there is no resolution, and it doesn’t touch on it again anywhere in the next four episodes. It’s bad show writing.

Demoncism

I picked this screenshot because it was the most disgusting!!! this is just...more of an opinion here but I really like the trope where one is out of their mind, dangerous, causing magic destruction and the other defies the risk and holds them, curing the issue with The Power Of Love. it’s corny but I love it. and yet.

here. they decided to just. chuck it in. I’ve seen shows do this trope Very Very well (oddly, one example i can think of also involves a wild demon kid and a forest in blue fire.....) but to just...throw this in there. with. like 8 seconds of buildup. n-o. no. ESPECIALLY because tom and star, where they are currently in the show, aren’t ready to be romantic, and this trope always has romantic implications.

i got extremely mixed feelings from this episode. on one hand it had a great message that you shouldn’t force change but rather to grow naturally and learn from your mistakes. on the other hand,  a lot of it is still tainted by this cliche, boring, romance. Star immediately barges in and claims that he’s only doing this for her and generally is untrusting of his actions. 

......

are you noticing a common theme here? writers purposefully twisting characters’ interactions for the sole purpose of causing drama? give me one good reason for star’s sense of trust to be flip-flopping like this over and over again. im being serious, if you even read this far, leave a reply and call me out because i CAN NOT THINK OF ONE GOOD REASON.

“Okayy, but no tickling.” Again, more creepy bdsm, moving on.

Then later when hes doing that whole floaty, blue veined, writhing scene i will actually commend the writers for making a very good analogy of how painful and unhealthy this process is for tom to quickly force himself to change. then star comes back and hugs him and says shes here for him which would have actually been a very sweet moment if they had just been friends but of course, they’re not. its just a reminder that “uwu they’re in love now”. and then there’s this:

confirmation that yes, the show is going to do that. rush star and tom’s relationship bc #teendrama. and the worst part of it is: star and tom could actually have been an acceptable, if not role model relationship if it wasn’t written so poorly, which is what the next paragraph or so is dedicated to.

I don’t hate Tom and Star’s relationship. I don’t. i see it as a missed opportunity. Tom and Star were two people who used to be a couple in the past and broke up for reasons unknown. we can speculate that it was because of Tom’s anger issues and problems with lying, and also Star’s inability to deal with complex situations and face her problems. THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY COMMON REAL LIFE SITUATION. This was a ripe opportunity to go in-depth with Star and Tom’s issues, not just their own but also the issues between them. and it is wasted. I know that its hard to fit this into one measly episode but there’s a whole half season to develop them at a proper, realistic pace! i wouldn’t care if the entire season is dedicated to Star and Tom working to solve these issues if it meant we had this enormously important topic resolved in a healthy and wholesome manner. 

But the problem is, none of this happens. And it’s not going to. The writers completely skip over all of Tom and Star’s anger towards each other and go straight to “UWU THEYRE IN LOVE NOW”. Star is just rebounding off Marco and onto Tom and there’s going to be more unnecessary drama, and someone’s going to get hurt.

And I am disgusted.

Sophomore Slump

jarco saved this ep ? the only parts of it i could really relax and enjoy was the little jarco montage it was cute. and then. and THEN. the random dumping. I get what the writers were trying to say, y’know? ohohohoh, nudge nudge, we all know who marcos REAL best friend is...hohoho...except. they shouldnt have. said it. at least not via jackie. She was used in this disgustingly common way where she’s just there to deliver a message and help marco realize something. do y’all realize the most drastic adjective i can apply to her realizing she+marco wont work is like....”bummed”. It’s realistic to cry, to be fucking mad, to show...FEELING...i don’t care how cool and chill she is. It’s an absolute travesty to her to not let her be upset about it. 

AND THE CAPE. it was obnoxious, I hated his attitude about it, not because it was annoying but because he expected others to stop ‘acting weird’. I had hope when jackie knocked sense into him but then he...was then REWARDED for his obsession with it? He ended up getting what he wanted, a ticket back to Mewni, by being a stubborn arse about it. no.

god where do i begin. alright.

Marco was so out of character this episode. im not talking like “he isnt the safe kid anymore he takes some uncharacteristic risks”. no. I don’t know who this kid is but it is not Marco Diaz. He’s some plot device created by the writers to create drama. Why is he so obsessed with his cape? Why is he forcing his experience on mewni into every conversation? Why. Is he. The Croissant Girl. The dude spent over sixteen YEARS in other dimensions going on quests of epic scale and comes back home without a single issue readjusting. Not one word. but then he spends one week in the butterfly castle and serves essentially no purpose the entire time other than freeing Star from her chains one time. He was completely and utterly unimportant in the grand scheme of the BFM movie. and then he comes back to earth and feels this great pride as if he was some great part of the event. Why? what does he have to be proud of? there was no mention of this development in any of the earlier episodes. and i havent even mentioned the ridiculous forced breakup yet.

at some point it seems like Jackie’s words really do come through to Marco. He snaps out of his daze and seems to genuinely want to make it up to her. the scene with Marco and Jackie having a fun date at the pier was incredibly sweet and was generally a good experience. We got to see more of Jackie’s fun side that we were desperately searching for in season 1 and the first half of season 2. it was very satisfying to know that jackie was a character everyone would eventually come to love. but then

that. Why? Why has Marco not moved on at all and learned his mistakes? why does he not understand that he’s being destructive. why do the writers like creating unnecessary drama. you know what show had a very similar plot issue and resolved this properly??

That’s right! Everybody’s favorite racist, ableist, offensive, generally unfunny show: The Big Bang Theory. I don’t even remember this dude’s name but when he came back from space and was being annoying, his girlfriend talked to him and he realized that “WOW IM ANNOYING LET ME THINK ABOUT OTHER’S FEELINGS FOR ONCE.”

100%. if they had stopped with the callout via jackie, and he had actually taken off the cape, I would have been fine. lesson learned. but, obviously, they didnt do that.

 If this show (which has an incredible track record for doing crappy show writing) can get it right then why can’t Star vs the Forces of Evil? A show that is usually praised for it’s amazing talent for intelligent, easy to understand, and great moral messaging?

Because of the writers. They don’t want to teach important messages for these kids (the target audience may i remind you) to latch on to and learn from. They want to write their angsty fanfiction and throw it into canon.

Nicole-TL;DR my lasting hope is star’s affections for tom are, and are revealed as such, a way to cope with going cold-turkey on marco and things resolve without a stupid fucking love triangle also jackie and janna start  dating. aaand im just. disappointed with the show rn. something’s different and after shoving this amazing ass show in everyones face for so long just to see it kind of...well, it’s starting to peel. idk why. but im just hoping this is like...banagic incident but...several episodes long.

Alan-TL;DR 

[fridgeleech-archive]

ART SOURCE

FIRST OF ALL HOLY CRAP GUYS 150+ !!!? I am so blessed to have all of you around && interacting with my patrick seriously. i made this blog when i was trying to get into the groove of roleplaying i was so nervous about entering the IT fandom only ever being in the Supernatural fandom && fandomless ocs but this fandom has been so kind and welcoming && has made me meet some of the most wonderful people. i feel like i’ve known you guys since i beginning of time && i cant wait to meet more of you lovely people 

ALSO NOTE: if i missed anyone its probably because i’m scattered brain af im sure theres more people but tumblr ate the last follow forever post i made so i had to spend another hour on this. feel free 2 come into my askbox if i missed u or somethin!!

THE BOWERS GANG: 

@spookcdman CHARLIE, MY DAD MY EVERYTHING !!  You are one of my very best friends on here && i love you so much full homo no homo. i will love you till the end of time && you’ll always be my best dad friend seriously. i feel like i can tell you anything && everything at this point even though we’ve known each other for only 3 weeks. 

@henrybcwers YOU KNOW I FUCKING LOVE YOU !!! I love you i love our ship i love talking to you i love our dumb little plots && rps && EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU I JUST LOVE !!! I LOOK FORWARD TO TALKING TO YOU ALL THE FUCKIN TIME OK !! 

@victheprick bOY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !! I love your vic && and we def need more threads together ok i need more PAT && VIC STUFF. Tbh you’re honestly one of the nicest people && i love talking to you ok 24/7 all day everyday. 

@noteddieble ok we have barely talked but you’re so amazing && i love talking to you && having my patrick stuff eddie into fridges alright like come @ me cause i def NEED to talk to you more 

@hughhoncy OH MY GOD OK !!! I love you so fucking much?? Like?? honestly i love how we both share a love for Dennis && the gang && Patrick && the bowers gang && i love our silly little im rps (?) like seriously they crack me up every friggin time ok && also your dennis is so spot on?? like he’s so close to canon it just blows me tf away every thread i read of yours

@vicviinegar we barely talk but you are so fuckin’ funny && i just love your Mac so much because you put so much love && effort into him && he’s so spot on && we def need to talk more i demand it the silver god demands it

@hockstctter  MY HOCKSTETTER TWIN !!! you know i love you with all my heart !! I won’t lie when i first saw that there was another patrick i was all like “hmmm” && i got jealous @ first cause like yOUR WRITING IT SO AMAZING && GR8  AND IM SO GLAD I FOLLOWED YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE HONESTLY A SWEET HEART && I LOVE THAT WE BOTH HAVE A SHARED LOVE FOR THIS TRASH SON && I CANT WAIT TO START OUR TWIN VERSE !!

@clownlike honestly i love you && your art so much. we dont talk a lot but everytime i talk to you your such a sweet heart && your so fuckin talented with your writing && your art I won’t lie i make THE DUMBEST noise && grin so wide everytime i see you make patrick art for me or just any art in general !! ILY!

@ethrealtrauma AVERY BABY BOY MY BROTHER !!! Honestly first of all, you’re so wonderful to talk to && your such a sweetheart I love talking to you so much even though we haven’t talked a lot so far i can just tell we’re going to be bffs ok. sECOND OF ALL YOU MADE A FRIGGIN AVERY !! Do you know how long this blog had been SUFFERIN WITHOUT AN AVE? Like 5ever ok && im so excited to have all of the awful threads w/ u. some brother bondin. 

@reddreaded​ Ok you are honestly so fuckin hilarious. i love all the patrick memes you send me they legit hurt my sides from laughing && ily for that. we def ??? need to talk more tbh?? cause like you’re just so funny && nice && amazing ?? 

@scarelosers​ OK I’VE KNOWN YOU FOR FOREVER NOW. I’ve know you for how long? For a year now? I’ve known you all the way back when you had a Rick && when I had Marshall. i love you so much && i love how we always find each other && are always in the same fandoms @ the same time no matter what. i love writing && shipping w/ you && your actually the reason i made patrick in the first place && got so into IT  !! I just,,,i love you so much ok?? like forever && ever && you know that already <33

@notrealenoughfor LISTEN GEOFF !! We barely talk but you’re such a nice person && i really wanna talk to you && get to know you better because tbh you’re so nice && funny. also btw thank you for making the group chat so I have somewhere to dump all my pregnant patrick pictures. love u 5ever. 

@realfor ZACH, MY UNCLE, MY EVERYTHING!! u make our little family w/ @papcrman​ complete, u r the bread and butter. you’re so fuckin sweet and i just ?? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH? I LOVE ALL YOUR WRITING && I JUST LOVE U?? Like serious i cant even begin to explain how amazing u are && how much i love you ily 5ever uncle <333 <3 ahem,,,i mean...ur ok bro u chill no homo no homo

FLAMERS 

(AKA PEOPLE I LOVE && ADMIRE && WANT TO WRITE MORE WITH) 

@hestorian @inhalingballoons @fuckindildos @fuckingladies @boardwalkbeauty @frespirited @manquln @gazeeebos @lackedfear @wheezydoll @rabbison @desxderium @itisaspook @curisewer @trashbeep @badokdok @pastclosed @falserep @patrickhockstetter @tozcer @tozielous @fucking-trashmouth @neuroticstuttering @scnguinc @trashmouthsister @getsbeeped @s-stutters @derrybcrn @simplywas @zcphira @dollcursed @trashmouthd @angelcfsin (bae<3) @girlsfeared @spookmyfricnds @taintedbone @bloodworship @compcnction @stillcominback @sitched (so what’s the sitch?) @flcted @hornscrown @you-float-tooo @bevcrlymcrsh @celebrityvictim @praechers @ohvnger​ @neverfeared​ @deadmarket​ @hcircut​ @seemscreepy​ @wheeziess​ @godlyfire​ @fuckiingclown​ @fratriciide​ (u kno i love you boo <3) @haystaxx​ @finalslay​ @scribblingstars​ @freeses​ @ssxgeorgie​ @mafclie​ @shadowfound​ @couldadodged​ @urises​ @hystearial​

@trashfear​ @sncrlisms​ @oflosers​ @clownfeared​ @dcgausscr​ @inhalingballoons​ @hauntsboy​ @bloodlovcd​ @foulfear​ @ripsoms​ @soughtballoons​ @ittakesmanyforms​ @barmitzvahed​ @clownfought​ @scabiaus​ @floatn​ @monstrauma​ @derrykat​ @guiltrauma​ @silverawayyy​ @sicklyguilt​ @tinycomedian​ @fearlacking​ @hefloatstoo​ @pettywise​ @bcbysitter​ @thrustsfists​ @lionguilt​ @unholyhunter​ (OF COURSE I LOVE YOU) @frankencasted​ @flutefeared​ @plainaudra​ @clownfearing​ @birdtrauma​ @eaterofwcrlds​ @wiinstons​ @hallowedbethyname​ @abrastcne​ @chariotsofthegodsman@cxrsedlife (my boo<3) 

[survivenovascotia]

Episode 3 - AHHHHH -Heather

I hate Tiktok dances. Im not in shape enough for this but like 150 pts is 150 pts

So I come back from Oak Island and Kevin has been voted out. Excuse me but what? Kevin of all people. The dude was great in challenges and a loyal person. But apparently Sunshine and John said he’d be too controlling at a swap and possibly had an idol? What kind of lame ass excuse is that at the second tribal council? Darcy, Mac and Kyle were all in favour of keeping Kevin over Jessie. Which means that Sunshine, John and Dan have some kind of alliance going on there. I don’t imagine Jessie is really aligned with them and probably only worked with them to keep herself safe. I don’t blame her at all. However, we’re probably going to lose this next challenge (partly because of me throwing it oops) which isn’t the worst thing in the world. If Darcy, Mac, Kyle and myself all stick together, and none of us go to Oak Island (Kyle and myself can’t), the four of us would have the majority to vote out any of the other three who don’t go to Oak Island. And as of right now, I think John and Sunshine still feel like I’m on their side. So I’m a little bit in the middle right now. I’ve got my fingers crossed everyone else on the tribe can pull together a win but a whole ass person not submitting for this is definitely a huge disadvantage for us.

In my opinion, one of the most important things to be aware of while playing survivor is your threat level. You can't exactly be too big of a threat or else you'll get voted out, and you also can't be too little of a threat or else you'll just get taken to the end, or be seen as an easy vote. This is why the meat shield strategy is one of the best ways to play survivor; be a threat, but never the biggest threat. However, I'm not playing the meat shield strategy right now, because quite frankly I don't feel like I need to. I'm so under everyone's radar, that I don't see myself going home anytime soon. Also, since this is my first time playing, it's hard to get a read on who really is a meat shield and who isn't. However, I'll be sure to make big moves; just not too many to get targeted over anyone else.

IDK WHO IS SITTING OUT BUT SOMEONE WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE SITTING OUT AND I THOUGHT WAS SITTING OUT IS IN. IDK IF THERE IS TIME BUT I AM THE BIG ANXIOUS ABOUT THIS CHALLENGE NOW.

AHHHHH

Kevin going home was upsetting for me. Sunshine, Jessie, Dan and John are dead to me. I need to convince Keegan to join myself, Darcy and Kyle if any of us are gonna get anywhere in this game. I didn’t search for the idol yesterday because I was feeling sick and was upset with Kev leaving. I just don’t wanna go back to tribal. Otherwise I’ll be saying a few words at tribal.

I am very nervous for this challenge. Evan hasn't done anything so far , but if we lose, we need him as a number so we are stuck in a sticky situation. Livingston a while ago thought you only had to do a select few and I am worried because I don't want to lose  a challenge I worked so hard for just because people won't try. I hate having a for the tribe mentality because like I don't want to seem like a challenge threat but its more we have to work together and get as many points as humanly possible.

ok so this tribe turned into a literal mess. So i said i wanted to sit out of the challenge because i didn't have a lot of the items, and then i got ignored by like two members of the tribe which meant I was doing the challenge and evan and coco were sitting out. Honestly, I'm livid that I was ignored by people because that I take personally. I could care less about the challenge, even though I know i'd get like 6 points because i have papers and stuff to do. Luckily, we figured things out and evan is doing the challenge. If we win, awesome, but if we lose, I definitely have a couple people on my list. Luckily though, I'm in a 5 person alliance with Heather, Austin, Evan and Coco. That makes me feel safe at this specific time in the game, but I can't help but wonder who we will all vote for if we go to tribal tomorrow.

The dynamics right now are absolutely hilarious let’s breakdown: Heather: is currently having a panic attack bc this challenge is a mess & literally no one knows what they’re doing Eric: says ‘I’m not doing this’ then dips for like 20 hours. Evan & Coco are confirmed as sit outs, Eric gets mad at the hosts for some reason, & then forces himself to sit out. Evan: was confirmed as a sit out, dips for 20 hours because he thinks he’s not doing anything, comes back like ‘wait what’ & is hella salty Livingston: didn’t know that each person had to individually post everything Glo: is a angel her videos are killing me she is the comedic relief during these dark times. She also suggests we have one person go TWICE & have 3 sit outs LMAO Me: fucking cackling anytime anyone speaks in a passive aggressive tone We were supposed to be the tribe that loves each other now look what happened  

It honestly feels horrible not submitting a damn thing for a challenge because I am certain we’re going to lose because of it. But I don’t want to try my best in the challenge and have us still lose and then lose my vote at tribal. It’s just not worth it. On the plus side, even if we do lose the challenge Darcy, Kyle and Mac are all pretty down to blindside Sunshine for being snakey. So unless they change their mind right away and decide to axe me I should be in a good position.

My legs are sore and I made TIKTOKS to win by over 1000. Im..... I was gonna set a plan to get Livingston out but I mean I guess

We lost the challenge, surprise surprise. By a heck of a lot so I’m hella glad I accept the Oak Island challenge and didn’t submit for the challenge. It wouldn’t have even mattered. So we lose the challenge and shout our ho hums in tribe chat before it dies and everyone disperses to their quiet hidey holes to scheme against each other. And lo and behold Dan has immediately thrown my name out for not submitting in the challenge. Because I alone was the reason we lost. Whatever. Darcy is going under cover with Sunshine and Dan right now, Kyle is trying to act like a free agent and I’m sitting here twiddling my thumbs wondering why the minority of Sunshine, Dan and John aren’t approaching the one person who wasn’t at all involved in the Kevin tribal. They honestly aren’t that smart if they’re straight up ignoring the one impartial person. Whatever. I wouldn’t actually vote with them since they voted out Kevin who was fantastic and useful. (#RevengeForKevin). Also, since I completed my Oak Island challenge I now have an extra vote I can use up until the final 5! I shouldn’t have to use it this tribal, thankfully. It will probably come in handy during a swap!

Is this what its like to be on a successful tribe? So unused to this. This gives me time to think and bond more. I’m thinking my first instinct to be threatened by glo and aim for her was wrong, it might make more sense to get her onside and use her both as a shield but also as a scapegoat for targetting others? We’ll see. Still good with Heather and Austin as a core three, and Livingston and Chips would be a good pair to link with if needed. Hopefully if swap comes I’m with some of them.

I’m crying at the fact we killed at. Like all of us were actually scared of losing & arguing & causing chaos & it was all for nothing & it’s AMAZING Also glo is scaring me she’s getting clingy she’s like “you wouldn’t miss me if we swapped” and I’m like what she’s like “tehe I was JOKING silly 😜” and like. I’m sorry what. Maybe I’m overreacting but that type of language makes me v uncomfy. Ion know that really off put me I’m gonna take a break from socializing. I’m pretty sensitive to behavior like that so I feel like it’s healthy to distance

Birch and Tawni really sat there being like, yall won stop trying. I thought we were up for competition. Oh Well. I had fun!! We love scavenger hunts

Me, Kyle, Keegan and Darcy are a good 4. With Jessie going to Oak Island that leaves Sunshine, Dan and John vulnerable. Keegan shared to me that he won an Extra Vote at Oak Island, which he hasn’t shared with Kyle and (maybe) not Darcy. I’m worried because I feel like I’m the 4th and not the 1st. Kyle admitted Kevin was his closest ally. My idol hunt is going alright. Definitely progress made.

To Kyle, if you’re ever reading these one day. I take back everything I said. You are awesome.

Fuck losing every challenge so far that’s all I have to say

I’m not sure if I’m feeling sick because I’m just sick or it’s the stress from this vote. I don’t want to be out this early. I can’t be out this early. If Kyle, Darcy and Mac can be trusted then I’m definitely safe and John is going home. I think I can trust them. I hope I can trust them. Why are we playing so damn hard so early in this game? Everyone needs to chill out or we’ll end up like Matsing.

Going to tribal I feel safe but nervous about what will happen in the aftermath. My group of 4 are pretty chill and not budging. Bye John.

No Swap, Thank God!! I think im fairly decent at this type of challenge. I won an individual immunity in this challenge once but idk how ill do with a tribe.

Oh my god my alliance is now in control! Yeah boi. Sunshine being HELLA QUIET after John’s boot was spooky but, I mean, he can’t complain since he did the exact same thing last vote. My problem now is not being the 4th member of the alliance. I’m scared that people will see me as riding coattails. I mean controlling the idol hunt is a cute look.

Our tribe was on a roll and had won 2 challenges in a row. I was starting to get busy taking care of my crush, and because of this, I had to sit out. However, apparently two people stated they were sitting out before I did. But the thing is, I never knew that. So I decided to disconnect from skype for the day to be with the one I love. However, I turn on skype the next day, and I'm bombarded with messages telling me to do the challenge. This really overwhelmed me, but then I realized it was an opportunity. 

Glo realized how much of a sticky situation I was in, and she came to my help, and told me she would be with me until I finish it if she needs to. Ultimately I wouldn't have been able to finish the challenge if she hadn't helped me. She also played it up as if I stepped up for the team last second and made an impact. I still can't tell if she did this from the goodness of her heart, or if she did it for strategic reasons. But, I do think it was moreso strategic, because she did mention that after she helped me as much as she did, that we would have to be aligned. So because of that, her actions don't really mean as much to me as it should, and I will take out Glo if it's necessary and beneficial for my game.

[cynabu]

Wednesday May 6 6:52 AM

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? Not a player I just crush a lot jk no

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? Currently.

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? I’ve been dating Steven since I was 22. I’m 29 in Nov.

4: Have you ever changed for someone? I think it’s important to work on yourself for someone, not change who you are fundamentally. I’m trying to be less sensitive & I would push myself to be better for a partner with no shame. & that’s on productive change. Evolution

5: How is your relationship with your ex? I don’t believe in being friends with your exes, but the two other people I have loved Im on good terms with. I would never hate or put down an ex. I chose them so they’re a reflection of my choices. If I saw them in the streets I’d be glad & say hi. I appreciate them, but I don’t think you need your exes in your space. Say thank you & move forward.

7: Have you ever cheated? No. That’s not me.

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating? No. lol cheating is about the cheater not who they are with. No partner can fix that.

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship? Returning one another’s bids for attention, however small. Commitment, empathy, honesty, vulnerability. Laughing a lot

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I had always preferred not to be & hence wasn’t but I don’t like relationships. I just like Steven.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? no. That’s for white people. What the hell is that

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? A lady never tells

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? just acting out of insecurity rather than love. Being immasculating

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? When they aren’t kids probably.

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”? To an extent, it can be. Steven is 6 years older & I don’t feel that at all except he’s more financially independent than I am currently but he was that way at 28 too.

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”? Honestly, I think we can tell a lot from a person non-verbally. & you really can be attracted to someone’s energy, the way they carry themselves, how they dress, their body language. Says a lot about them. Steven’s energy is so alpha and I liked that right away

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? yes. If you like boys who are good at texting

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? Abuse, any kind

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? When the measure of love isn’t mutual

20: Are you currently in a relationship? yes.

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? No. You can be on good terms but I don’t think being friends works.

22: Do you think people should date their friends? well your SO should be your best friend.

23: How many relationships have you had? 3. One in HS, one in college, Steven

24: Do you think love can last forever? 100% but not with the values most young people have these days

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? Yes!

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? Yes, I think so. I respect their opinion a lot. My parents love Steven & he loves them so much

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? Only be intimate with people you love

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? No, not sustainable long term but yes temporarily. Steven will be leaving for a year wahhhh

29: What do you notice first about another person? Probably their build? Just how much space they take up & how they walk. I just like really masculine guys personally

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? straight

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? Bother me? Yes that would be hard but it’s not a deal breaker necessarily

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? No, i don’t think I would be. I have a good relationship with my dad & I don’t look for love in the wrong places.

33: Do you want to get married one day? yessssssssssssss

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? I don’t want any tattoos

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? yes if it was like a disaster that happened to someone you used to have sex with but i love sex

36: Are you still a virgin? no

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? Your personality largely affects the way you look to me. I really don’t care about looks although there are physical things I’m attracted to that I think represent personality traits

38: Do you enjoy love films? Pride & prejudice all the way!

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? yes to both!

40: Have you ever had a valentine? Yessireee

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”? Trying something new together! & holding hands. Maybe being in the snow or the rain, good conversation. A cute kiss

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”? Yes, they were angsty but I get it

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? It’s a hierarchy but both are important. It’s also the sort of thing where love trumps work, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to miss work every day just to stay home and hang out. It’s situational and about balance. I do believe when you’re married that person is #1. That’s how my parents raised us. They loved each other even before they loved us and I’m glad they did because the love has lasted a quarter of a century as a result

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? Totally!

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? I’m in a relationship

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”? Yes. It sucks

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite? The obamas

48: What’s your favorite love song? At last. & let’s stay together

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are? n/a

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy? poor 100 times

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

Yeah I think so. A lot of people say “leave him/her” at the first sign of trouble. I don’t believe that

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?

No I loved being on my own

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)? I definitely think it’s shady if you don’t WANT to post your girl or guy on your social media. You should be so excited and proud to show them off! I don’t get why people date someone like that . This should be a non issue

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”? Not me

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? If another person can destroy your relationship it’s already destroyed broh but no. I don’t like home wreckers

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? No, i do not think it’s at all “silly”

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? submissive if I had to choose but most people are a bit of both depending on situation. I definitely like a man I can trust enough to defer to

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary? No

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships? In theory sounds great. In practice a mess & a headache

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family? : my partner is my family

62: How do you define “cheating”? Anything thing you wouldn’t say/do in front of your partner

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? No

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? I like to do something special and cute. cost doesn’t matter. I don’t like going out that day because it’s crowded everywhere & anyway it’s nice to make other random days special too!

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”? YES cuddling is life