#im a depressed homosexual obviously

[starrrmaaaaaaan]

When your ex lover calls you for the first time in months and all the memories come back and all you feel when it's ended is how this dog looks:

[schrodingersbabe]

yall think god's intercession has like some asimov's laws of robotics-like shit applying to it

[zapsoda]

im a bad mutual i forgor ur faves BUT!!!!!!! um. Uh. tee hee. GIVE ME. ROXY LALONDE. AND. LE EPIC JOHN. . 🏳️‍🌈🧸👽😭

oh shit that reminds me. i said i was gonna up and make a faves list to link on my blog foreverrrr ago and i totally forgot. (now ill do it for sure. eventually)

anyways!!! this shit is long so im putting it under a

roxy:

🏳️‍🌈 she is so bisexual to me idk. i also like mtf roxy hcs those have always been soo so real 2 me

🧸 i think she had a lot of imaginary friends. people and animals. shed walk around this big ol house and imagine she was hanging with all these guys. and i think she was suuuuper chatty with the neighbors. in a cute lil kid way. the carpacians? i think? its been forever since i read the comic (whoops)

👽 i think she hates silence like in conversations. it makes her super uncomfortable like something went wrong so shell try to fill it up by saying shit. any thing . or maybw not idk lol thats projection

😭 hmm well i think teenage alcoholism is up there. idt she felt so good abt it at any point. like this guilt maybw. maybe she wondered if she was actually disappointing her mother or wasting her memory? maybee

JOHN:

🏳️‍🌈 john said hes not a homosexual which means hes OBVIOUSLY bisexual. obv. i remember seeing this lil ftm john comic where hes talking to dave for the first time and daves like. so whats ypur name. and johns like shoot. and he looks around his room and sees one of his dumb movie posters and it has the name john on it and hes like. thats it thats the one. and he tells dave his name is john. i love that shit. if i could find it id link it here.

🧸 john was a bastard child i think. prankster from a young age. he was literally born to be someones brother yk. oh shit. jades i guess. lmao he was born to be her twin brother. i think he was a happy lil kid though dad egbert strikes me as a delightfully silly man.

👽 hmm honestly i think hes the normalest out of all the kids maybe??? except jane but even jane had all the weird batterwitch shit goin on. maybe john likes socks. thats weird as shit who the hell likes socks. he seems like the type to. maybe hed like silly hideous patterned socks.

😭 i hate HATED the epilogues but something abt depressed john appeals to me. i HATE the way they did it but i think john having mental illness is great. hes got like these inklings of depression and dysphoria and then SBURB happens. worst birthday ever. his dad dies. he meets his best friends forever? conflicting stuff his brain doesnt know what to do. maybe a lil residual trauma from that day. he doesnt like birthdays anymore. this is nothing but im having fun writing so. lol.

[transsexualhamlet]

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

[genderbinaryisforlosers]

everyone on the carte blanche for the ask meme

everyone? oh boy this is gonna get long ajfhdsf

JUNO

First impression: i, like a lot of people who get into the podcast without knowing a great deal about it, was expecting at most an ambiguously bisexual angst machine with a closely-guarded heart of gold. juno being an explicitly bisexual genderqueer angst machine is perhaps the most pleasant surprise of my life. the angst machine heart of gold characters were kind of my type at the time, so i loved him right away

Impression now: every time i think about juno’s arc from depressed mess held together by bad coping mechanisms, safety pins, and a few good strong puns into someone who can talk about his feelings, feel comfortable about being happy, and recognise when he needs to change, i want to cry about it a little bit. the depth of my love for juno steel has only grown along with him

Favourite moment: juno has a lot of great one-liners and i’m still a big fan of the “on the other hand i wasn’t wearing a watch” bit and who can forget such classics as juno finally deciding to stop moping over nureyev and move on only for him to open the door to his apartment and find nureyev sitting in the dark dramatically, but honestly nothing will ever hit me harder than his sudden, pissed-off declaration of “i can’t die yet, i still have shit to do!” in promised land. god.

Idea for a story: oh i have so many and i want to write most of them so no spoilers, but juno accidentally kidnaps a baby during a carte blanche heist and shenanigans ensue

Unpopular opinion: obviously we all know he’s dummy thicc but i feel like a lot of people forget he’s an actual genius, like the stuff he notices and how he strings it together is sometimes so obscure and he’s almost always right. oh, also juno is not skinny and i will not be taking criticism on that

Favourite relationship: this is so tough because every dynamic is so good, but i think it has to be juno and rita. those two are so good! the best best friends in the world!! i’m really a sucker for any dynamic that’s ridiculously in-sync so i loved these two as soon as juno saw rita’s notes in prince of mars and went “makes perfect sense to me” (which it probably didn’t, because rita, but he trusted that she knew what she was doing which is the important part)

Favourite headcanon: this isn’t really a headcanon but i still think about how juno is (was?) deathly afraid of heights but when he heard rex glass coming he still attempted to climb out of the window. either his aversion to working with dark matters/other people in general was so strong is overrided his fear, or his office was actually on the ground floor. not sure which of these is funnier.

NUREYEV

First impression: we’ve all seen the memes about nureyev knowing juno steel for one (1) day and deciding to Risk It All by leaving him with his name, look at this Hopeless Romantic, this utter DISASTER of a homosexual. the fact the very next time we hear from nureyev (at least directly) he’s patiently waiting in juno’s dark apartment to surprise him with a heist definitely supports this image.

Impression now: even after literally being inside peter’s head, i feel like we didn’t get a real sense of who he is until man in glass, where we find out he aggressively compartmentalises everything that causes him stress. he’s also distinctly someone who’s had his heart broken before, i think, which makes those first appearances of his very strange. but it does remind me of what juno says about diamond, and how he decided to provide the trust first and wait for the trustworthiness to grow in (only to get severely hurt), and i think that’s exactly what nureyev did. i am also... very uneasy with how suspicious he’s behaving this season because obviously i want to believe he’ll sort it all out and not betray the crew but... oof

Favourite moment: the beginning of what lies beyond pt1 where he’s affectionately bullying juno into taking care of himself? cleared my crops watered my skin etc etc etc

Idea for a story: i’d love to hear more about his past as a young thief idolising buddy and vespa (i can’t actually remember if that’s canon or fanon but anyway i wanna read it!)

Unpopular opinion: i think people often cling to an image of him that more resembles his first impressions in season 1 instead of seeing the depth that we’ve been given about his character in season 3

Favourite relationship: him and juno but honestly it’s a close call between them and his budding friendship with rita. even though she learned it by accident, his name is still a point of intimacy and it’s one less secret to keep around her which has to be a weight off his shoulders, at least a little? they seem like they could be really good friends once ultrabots is out of the way. juno steel love (and also bullying) zone activates whenever they’re together

Favourite headcanon: i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - nureyev has never done a household chore in his goddamn life. he doesn’t know the water needs to be hot when you wash dishes.

RITA

First impression: honestly i’m not sure? i don’t remember having a big awareness of her in murderous mask but i remember loving her “note-taking” in prince of mars, i thought she sounded really fun and cute

Impression now: rita is really fun and cute, she’s also an extremely hardworking and dedicated woman who had the guts to throw in with a detective fired from the force and then invest all of her time and money into helping him help people.

Favourite moment: Rita Gets A Knife. enough said

Idea for a story: i don’t know honestly! i really struggle to write rita because her thought processes are so wild and i don’t think any story i could come up with would match mega ultrabots of cyberjustice.

Unpopular opinion: this shouldn’t be unpopular because juno steel himself shares this opinion but all future-jupeter headcanons are incomplete without rita also being a huge part of their lives

Favourite relationship: rita + franny 4ever obviously.. jk it’s juno & rita have you heard rita minute 3 they’re too adorable for this world. im still Soft over their conversation at the end of soul of the people when he said he couldn’t stay in hyperion anymore but he wouldn’t leave with the carte blanche if rita wasn’t coming because he was done leaving her behind, and she threw out all her hesitations on the spot and said call the big guy. speaking of, rita & jet are a close second. instant best friends i love them.

Favourite headcanon: i think this is basically canon now but rita being literally half the height of jet is so good

JET

First impression: “haha lorge funny man puts juno in the trash”

Impression now: jet sikuliaq is one of the dearest characters to me out of anything ever. he is a huge, menacing, polite, kind, sincere man who i would very much like to give me a hug. he’s the best aro ace in outer space and while being generally very levelheaded and straightforward, also takes every opportunity to fuck with juno because it’s very easy and very hilarious to him personally. he is everything my autistic acearo ass needed and i’m so glad to have him

Favourite moment: all of them every single one. him putting juno in the trash is of course a classic and every moment jet chooses to be funny makes my heart happy, but also every piece of genuine advice he gives. i’m a particular fan though of buddy recounting her years in the lighthouse and him saying he became concerned when she didn’t come downstairs at the usual time. “you took the door off its hinges.” “i was deeply concerned.” king of understatement

Idea for a story: again no spoilers for you but..... tools of rust time loop au

Unpopular opinion: this isn’t “unpopular” as much as it is unknown but jet is buddy’s queerplatonic partner and i will keep saying it until everyone believes it

Favourite relationship: jet and buddy,,, just everything about them. the way he suspects when she’s lying, the way she makes tea for him when she expects him to drop by. the fact he comes to check on her when she is 41 seconds late to the family meeting because it’s unlike her to be late and the last time she was late for something her brain was turning to radiation soup. but most especially the way she snaps at him to stay out of her business and he said he could not because he made her promise eight years ago to never stay out of the business of her health, no matter how many times she asked. they r literally in a qpr

Favourite headcanon: i don’t think this is true but i still think it would be funny if the ruby-7 used to be painted red but when jet got it he had it painted green because he Just Really Likes Green (as evidenced by his hovercycle). it’s very funny to me.

BUDDY

First impression: it’s been a minute since i relistened to time gone by but i’m pretty sure the first thing she ever says in the podcast is sliding up to depressed accidental whiskey thief juno and say “that’ll be ten million creds,” scaring the shit out of him, so needless to say i was in love instantly.

Impression now: my love for buddy aurinko has only grown and if it sounds like i already said that in this post it’s because i did about juno and it’s appropriate because the parallels are astounding. the heart of it all gave us such depth to buddy’s internal monologue and why she always sounds like she knows exactly what to say and what that’s like and honestly will i ever be over the heart of it all as an episode? unlikely. i think i’m gonna have a little piece of it in MY heart forever.

Favourite moment: everything she’s ever said is iconic as hell i especially like “in an impressive fit of hubris i’ve decided not to prepare my words for this vow” which made me laugh out loud but once again i must give it up for her iconic “I WANT TO LIVE” moment. honourable mentions to her taking rita out for ice cream and giving juno shooting lessons while she’s in her actual wedding gown. i love her

Idea for a story: buddy and vespa as sun/moon dieties.... that’s all

Unpopular opinion: stop drawing her with a fancy high-tech eye like the theia!! it canonically looks like garbage and it’s described in detail, please, i’m dying, also don’t minimise her scars you bastards

Favourite relationship: buddy and vespa invented romantic love and the entire carte blanche crew’s relationship to her is great but you know by now i’m a slut for buddy & jet out-of-this-world queerplatonic partners. the way she checks in on him during tools of rust to make sure he’s not relapsing and he comes to find her when she is 41 seconds late in the heart of it all to make sure she’s not having a heart problem!! it’s the trust,, the devotion,, the mortifying ordeal of being known

Favourite headcanon: she can sing. absolutely tears it up at karaoke. i’m right

VESPA

First impression: knife lesbian goes STAB. she will heal your wounds but she will be threatening to give you more the whole time

Impression now: she is extremely strong, heart-rendingly tender, and despite being in the older half of the carte blanche crew somehow has unmistakable little sister energy which makes her downright hilarious. i’m so glad she got to marry buddy and they’re official space wives now they’re so good for each other

Favourite moment: both from shadows in the ship, either “GUN!!” “KNIFE?!” (iconic) or when she clocks the dark matters drone pretending to be juno because it called her crazy and juno wouldn’t call her crazy. i’m always a sucker for “shapeshifter fails to fool mark because they Know Each Other Too Well” and it was just *chefs kiss* so good

Idea for a story: i really want to write something about when she was first staying at the lighthouse with buddy post-reunion, and getting to know jet and stuff. i think it would be cute

Unpopular opinion: i know vespa doesn’t canonically have lots of scarring but people who don’t draw her with scarring? cowards.

Favourite relationship: once again, although buddy and vespa invented romantic love, i just love the dynamic between vespa and juno so much. they’ve come so far with each other and their weird sibling dynamic gives me life. at the end of what lies beyond when juno says “we’re not gonna kill her, vespa” and instead of sounding full of Rage and Suspicion she’s like “whyyy notttt?” and he’s like “because i said so!” and that’s just good enough for her even if she’s a bit grumpy about it. i love it.

this took.. a hot minute to do! jshkfjsdgsa thank you dyl ily <3

[riv-ika]

nobody kill me but i actually,,, liked the rise of skywalker

SPOILERS BELOW

like obviously im bitter about oscar isaac not getitng his finnpoe but otherwise i thought it was good??

i was never a big fan of reylo but i’m not upset about how they ended it. i want more movies to actually put effort into their redemption arcs and not kill off the characters needing to redeem themselves but oh well

the gay joe russo thing is getting old disney are cowards. lesbian resistance pilots are cool-- thanks-- but how about mORE THAN TWO SECONDS OF THEM

leia’s death was depressing AS FUCK but the poetic cinema of rey and kylo’s thing going on halfway across the universe just as she died and rey feeling it and ugh *chef’s kiss* AND THEN CHEWIES REACTION NO THAT WAS SAD AF

the shots were gorgeous and the scenery was beautiful as always

i genuinely thought there were gonna kill chewie and FLIPPED my shit. when it happened i heard my dad whisper ‘upsetti spaghetti’ and nearly lost it laughing which was awful

them sliding in a potential female love interest for poe last second was kinda :/// like ok i headcanon him as a bi disaster but finn is RIGHT THERE yall just dont want people to think he’s a Homosexual fuck off disney

also hey what the fuck with the spice runner thing? i thought his parents were rebels or smthn????

i’m glad they didn’t force the rose/finn thing again? but im upset they shoved her aside she was a really cool character and i loved her. also the new character who was also a turncoat from the first order??? i loved her but i didnt even catch her name

SPACE HORSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poe taking over the resistance gave me goosebumps it’s what my boi deserves

The trio banter killed me instantly. the first half of the movie was a Whole Meme. i love that the shining stars of the resistance are just bickering like children while Finn, the only one leia can take anywhere, is like “pls for the love of god stop fighting”

also idk what was up with Finn needing to tell Rey something i know people thought they were hinting at an I love you confession but i actually thought he was just gonna tell her he was force sensitive? also lmao lil jealous poe right there thank u for ur service oscar isaac

rey and kylo with the fuckin!!! lightsabers!!!!! bro that was beautiful with that smooth bond-pass that was so cool i think i died

han’s ghost literally broke my heart and it took me a straight 12 hours to realise that ben meant to say i love u and han just i know and when i figured it out i sCREAMED

also thank god they confirmed somebody uses Dad in the star wars universe instead of Father do u know how much easier that makes my fanfic writing

FURTHERMORE if i hear one more motherfucker say rey taking the skywalker name was a disgrace because she’s a palpatine, i am going to SNAP. yall get upset that there isn’t enough found family in a movie and then u get mad when they actually use it??? SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP she’s a skywalker ok the Force ghosts approve

the NOSTALGIA!!!!!!!! the ewoks at the end made my sister :D and going back to luke’s home on tatooine i was like !!!!!!!! why would u do ani dirty burying his lightsaber in the sand. bUT REYS NEW LIGHTSABER BRO THATS SO COOL

anyway i actually really enjoyed it! i think it’s nice for my generation to have our own set of star wars movies, especially one with such a diverse cast and developed characters, despite its flaws

[slasherscream]

Pull a “ok boomer” on her homophobic ass. That shit gets on my nerves. My mom is biphobic af (my sis is homophobic) & it’s why our relationship is so strained. She wonders why & I’m stuck w/knowing I can never be close to her cause of that (I haven’t told her I’m bisexual. I almost did but she just grabbed my face, saying it was the devil trying to get to me, & since then she thinks I’m “cured” but really I just decided to not tell her again in fear of being a outcast in my own home)

this got so long because i guess i’m not done venting. absolutely way too much info and word vomit under the cut. also a lot of homophobia and abuse tw. also i am emotional so i have been rendered completely illiterate 

if i got money every time i’ve had to “ok boomer” her this week alone because of her utter disrespect towards just my political opinions and the generation i belong to (which is obviously destroying traditional values/any good systems that are currently set in place and going to bring about the downfall of america through being ultra politically correct) i would be apart of the oppressive 1% adjkl?? 

i am SO sorry you had to live like that. this is honestly such a new experience for me because my biological parents were very abusive (i mean like crazy abusive) in so many ways but they were VERY accepting of my sexuality. i knew i was gay from an incredibly young age and it was always treated as something completely normal. there was no “Coming out” to my bio family it was just something everyone knew about me because i would talk very seriously about marrying girls as a little toddler even more so than i would talk about marrying/having a crush on boys and i never “grew out of that”. it was just who i was and my bio family had so many fucking terrible flaws they were bat shit insane but they never made me feel like less than human for being bisexual. 

being bisexual has been a cornerstone of my identity for my entire life. there has never been a MOMENT where i doubted who i was on that front. and i’ve had so many reasons to doubt every aspect of who i am as a person but never that!!! until i met my extended bio family and they were all super homophobic and for the first time in my life i had to be in the closet and hear people around me who i cared about just talk about wanting to beat up f***gots and it was like YIKES.

 then i stopped living and being with my bio family and moved in with my mom!!! and she has been so amazing in so many ways!!! but how callous and dismissive she is towards my opinions when i work hard to be informed and logical hurts to be honest because i pride myself on being intelligent??? like opinions are meant to be changed when you come across new information that invalidates them and i know i’m young being only twenty-one so i have a lot of growing to do but holy FUCK. she doesn’t debate things with me anymore she basically just calls me stupid whenever i open my mouth and she makes me feel so fucking SMALL. and because i respect her it hurts in a way the emotional and verbal abuse from my bio family did not because i knew They Were Bad People Who Were Going To Do Things To Hurt Me and i just accepted it if only to be apathetic enough to survive all the fucking trauma!! but whenever my mom does these hurtful fucking things it comes out of left field because she’s a good person?? she’s sweet and generous and kind and then she absolutely LEFT FIELDS me by being just MEAN. 

then to get to the homophobia that cuts into me every fucking time. i got really hurt a few months ago about ANOTHER Incident with her boyfriend when all his casual homophobia was building up on me and just making me so depressed and angry. because he was constantly in our house and NEVER stopped running his fucking mouth off about hating the homosexuals?? that i finally confronted her telling her that my identity as a bisexual woman is just as important to me as my identity as a black woman to express to her just how SERIOUS i was because i’m very pro-black and proud of who i am as a black girl!!! and i thought that would finally make her GET IT that this was an important part of who i FUCKING am ….and she proceeded to tell me that, that is pathetic and that my identity as a black woman should mean more to me than who i want to fuck. as if loving other people is not an intrinsic part of being fucking human??? as if love isn’t one of the most important and uplifting things in the world. and she told me to get a thicker skin and that maybe if i wanted to stop her homophobic boyfriend from being homophobic i should COME OUT TO HIM. because it isn’t fair to judge him?? on what he says about gay people around me since he doesnt know im gay??? like that’s such a fucking brilliant idea!!! that’s an absolutely groundbreaking idea!!! so then you guys can just go to your room and whisper about how much you hate homosexuals together

or i’ll awwww at sweet wlw things in movies or songs and things and she just ….won’t even say something sometimes but she rolls her eyes or LOOKS so disgusted and condescending and it hurts sooooo much that it feels like a fucking knife to the chest. when i talk about girls in front of her she looks like she wants to throw up. part of me wants to do it more just to desensitize her so she can fucking get over herself so i wont eventually lose my fucking mother if i ever wind up with a woman/non cis-male partner but she just looks so grossed out at even the CONCEPT of seeing women kiss. let alone when she actually catches glimpses of it in movies!!! i can’t describe the look of profound disgust. it’s like i can see her rediscover being homophobic each time she even BRIEFLY sees women having a romantic relationship on screen with one another.

 she’s the only real mother i’ve ever had and i just want to die!!! one day i could very well not be able to maintain a relationship with her not even because im choosing a partner over her but because i know that me choosing a partner might genuinely make her love me less if not be DISGUSTED by me outright and i just can’t do that to myself but the thought of that makes me want to die!!! i love my mother but she literally hates a part of me and lately it’s like she hates me more and more with each passing fucking day and i dont know how to cope with it i am literally completely alone in the world aside from her!!!   

[darkartsandcrafts]

The Best Of

The Goldfinch AO3 tags

Deepest apologies to the authors.  Probably of interest only to @wellntruly and maybe @antiquesfreaks

this is so niche, if a single person reads it i will be happy, it is completely self indulgent, Imaginary Rain , [theodore decker voice] i'm a homosexual having a panic attack,  also xandra is there I guess, ITS ABOUT THE YEARNING, theo has a crisis because thats his Brand, theo's a whole mess, boris is a slightly different mess,  theo is a little bitch, sad times with boris &theo what else is new, apocalypse in a very american sense, they live in Costco, they r just liddol creatures, i am a SLUT for water, this is basically just a love letter to the desert and the sky, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise, Not really a fic as much as it is an experiment

Romantic Face Punching, i mean.... that's literally a tag so i'll use it, It's bittersweet my dudes, boris waxes poetic about his bird, russian vampire that glows, it was way too easy for me to project onto Boris, theo said 'nothing rly happened in antwerp', i said 'you are an unreliable narrator and a Fool please step aside', Theo Decker should be considered his own warning, Theo Decker's Toxic Masculinity, rip to donna tartt but I'm different so they're lesbians now, there will be smut but it will be artsy, and theos parents but who can be asked to put them, Hurt No Comfort 

Well maybe a little bit of comfort, The briefest and barest mention of Boris's fuck-me pumps, some real basic bitch fic but I had to get it out of my system, I promise this isn’t as depressing as it sounds, the sharp ache of memory, the thrill and terror of getting what you want, 

Excessive Drinking 

Heavy Drinking 

Drinking to Cope

 Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Magical Realism, take shot every time theo says fuck and/or is gay and bitchy, its a TURNBULL AND ASSER SUIT, Gratuitous Fleetwood Mac Referencing, slight drowning mention, underage lots of things because its them,  google translate Russian, Underage Drinking but like this is the Goldfinch we’re talking about, theo has been to therapy and knows one (1) distress tolerance technique, Theo's too neurotic to top but can unrepress just enough to bottom,  i like to believe donna tartt would condone this if she believed in love, They really put that scene in the movie huh, TOO MANY REFERENCES AND I AM NOT EVEN SORRY FOR THEM 

donna tartt i just want to talk  

and he cries his eyes out and they listen to the magnetic fields, nostalgia for two days ago, they listen to music and flop around, they're a little drunk but when aren't they,  Boris POV bc theo pov is difficult and also depressing, theo isn't as canonically repressed here oops,  theo did write boris a letter he just never included it bc it's gay, i hope they know i would die for them, @ donna tartt u too bitch i love u, Heavy pining you guys, i went hard with the hand holding in this, They've kind of gotten their lives together!, Boris still works in art crime though,  they're drunk

but what else is new, idk if this is good or if im just on my third drink, is it homo to want to kiss your best bro? maybe so,  no homo your way out of this decker, boris is basically a pillow princess but who’s surprised, smoking in bed is an activity for french movies and repressed gays, we don’t admit to feelings we emotionally repress like men, obviously boris is into some kinky shit, boris is dead sorry

very sad actually,  the world needed some boris' pov so i did my job, i'm not projecting onto theo he's just me, i'm not even projecting onto theo anymore he's literally me, i managed to write some sort of happy ending,  it was way to easy to write from theo's pov and i'm worried, interpret the end how you want i guess, it was so easy to project onto theo it's kinda concerning,  They weirdly don't do drugs in here, the usual shit that happens in goldfinch, the boys go rollerskating, Like Really Fucking Sad,  flangst city bois, theo is a clingy drunk, if only he were like this when he’s sober,  Theo committed suicide, I mean Theo really did it, Boris didn't stop him, Theo may not like this, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction,  Theo is a pretentious dick, Mental Institutions,  one instance of projectile vomiting,  Questionable Marriage

[wickedgerard]

So, just because we talk now doesn't mean that I can't send you asks. This is a t a s k. Go through each song on Three Cheers, rate them, write down your opinions, then pick a favorite.

Yes bc you have revealed yourself, and bless bc i missed the asks also these opinions are gonna be long. Literally i remember half of the shit i researched about these songs which was 3 years ago

Helena (So Long & Goodnight): 10/10 tbh, this song makes my heart sink in a good way if that makes sense?? I hold that song really close to me since its helped me more than people know. I love how much emotion you can hear in Gerards voice and the fucking guitars?? its just such a well put together song

Give ‘Em Hell Kid: also fucking 10/10 a lot, sure its a bop, but the meaning behind it is extremely tragic, and unsettling but of course I fucking love that about this song without a doubt not many people talk about this song and I wish more people did

To The End: honestly are you surprised that i’m also gonna rate this 10/10?? The message behind this song is fucked and disturbing, but disturbing makes things better. The female in this album is a gold digger and its so complicated to explain also Ray Toro playing that semi-guitar solo towards the end?? n u t

You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison: AGAIN 10/10 literally as Gerard said about this song “this song is about being very, very bad and going to jail and getting fucked in the ass” this song is literally about the man who is supposed to kill 1,000 evil men, who got caught and went to jail falling for an inmate so he turns out to be a homosexual a fucking fantastic song

I’m Not Okay (I Promise): 10/10 obviously. this song has been helping me since middle school, but its about this girl being immensely self-conscious and doesn’t believe her boyfriend one bit, and he grows weary and tired from all her problems that are petty that are also are silly and wont matter one day and not important while the narrator (boyfriend) is the one with the real problems and is depressed, and he tries to convince himself that hes okay so she wont worry about him. So you can see in a sense how me and other people relate 

The Ghost Of You: 10/10. Its so fucking emotional and never fails to make me cry since I remember the music video so well and just seeing the fear and sadness in Gerards and Mikeys eyes are heart wrenching, but I love this song since its about telling people how you feel towards them sooner because you may never see them again and you wouldn’t want them to slip from your life and i’ll always hold it so dear to me

The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You: now for once we don’t have a 10/10 this time its more like a 8.5/10 but when Gerard says “bella muerte” i bust a n u t  (which means beautiful death in Spanish) as well “jetset” meaning frequent traveling i think this one is more about Gee when he was dealing with his alcohol and drug addictions because during this year it all grew too fast for him and it took off “stress” for him while they were on tour 

Interlude: uhhh soRRy i really don’t like this one that much its gonna be a solid 5/10 and i don’t have much of an opinion on it other than its too slow for my liking

Thank You For The Venom: yes a 10/10 I think i’ve talked about it before?? To me its a bop and always gets me in a head banging mood tbh also at the beginning with the guitars and drums going off an on for a couple of seconds?? i feel so much adrenaline from it

Hang ‘Em High: eek im sorry but this boy is gonna be 7/10 this time, i really love how it sounds western and then goes hard in with all the damn guitars (can you tell that i love guitars??) but i like the message just meaning to keep fighting off your enemies, and don’t let anything stop you even if it’ll hurt

Its Not A Fashion Statement, Its A Deathwish: 10/10. I think this song has a lot more to do with revenge and uses a shit ton metaphors of fame and fortune and for being the way you are. I sometimes have this song on loop since its a real banger

Cemetery Drive: oof a 6.5/10 i think?? I think its about the narrator killing themselves and how their significant other misses them dearly and wishes they could be doing all these things together again. just because i don’t like the song that much doesn’t mean i can’t love the meaning

I Never Told You What I Do For A Living: 10/10, i mostly love all the songs off this album. Its mostly about sin staining the soul and how the lover is his only source of sanity and love also a huge ‘ol plot twist because the man who had to kill 1,000 evil men has to kill himself since he is stained with nothing but sin amd he never got to see his lover so it was basically all for nothing. when Gerard says “never again, and never again they gave us two shots to the back of the head and we’re all dead now” it gives me c h i l l s

i’m sorry this took so long to answer heck and my favorite ( i can’t give a certain answer) is either Thank You For The Venom or The Ghost Of You. Thank you for asking V!!

[starrrmaaaaaaan]

Look at these:

They're beautiful.

I want these god-damned pants so badly but I'm UNCOORDINATED and don't know how to SEW and have no patience for myself whatsoever but these pants are so fucking cool bros

[yuna-dan]

Ghost AU (or HautedSanders)

Ghosts AU because 

Im tagging @obviouslyelementary because she’s my Prince <3

I just, I have been thinking about this too much but I don’t know how to write it, so I’ll rather share it. (And also, because I don’t know how to draw xD)

Okay, so I have the idea that somehow all of them die and in different times, also even though they share the sanders surname, they are not related.

Prince Roman Sander, was an actual Prince and just a few weeks before his coronation one of his closest friends (Probably a duke or something) killed him, because he wanted the power. The duke managed to get to the power and pretend that Prince Roman actually run away with a young man (because you know, homosexuality back then was forbidden) instead of him being murder. He abandoned the body of the Prince in a far far place from the kingdom. (He was poisoned) (This happened around 1600)

Dr. Logan Sander, was a scientist. He worked near the outskirts of the city in supposed haunted house. He was investigating the existence of beings besides humans (aka ghosts, aliens, fairies). He worked with a close friend, who he was secretly in love but never say anything. Once the investigation attracted a lot of important people his named was suddenly really known. He was about to published the investigation when all of a sudden he disappeared, rumor has it he ran away because he wanted the knowledge for himself. (What really happened: His friend found out of him being gay and freak out so much, he pushed him of the stairs, and Logan broke his neck. He hid the body in the basement of the house) (This happened 1890 or something)

Mario Sanders, was a dedicated father (I’m going to make him with Latino roots because Im trash and because I wanted to do something with it). He married really young to a 19 girl because he got her pregnant. He loved his kids with all his heart. However, he was in an abusive relationship with his wife. She was really abusive and aggressive towards him until one day his friends and kids convinced him to divorce her and he did. He had been living happily in a house near the outskirts of the city, he worked really hard on the garden. He loved that house even if it had the rumors of being haunted. Just a few months after he won the custody of his kids, he was shot by his ex-wife inside his house. The kids started living with their aunt because obviously, they hated their mom. He was buried in the garden of the house. Every November 2, the kids go to that house and make him a little altar for the day of death (See, that’s why I make him Latino). (This happened around 1990 or something)

Alexander Sanders, was a bullied kid, because he was gay. He had depression issues and anxiety. He told his parents a lot of times he was bullied but because he was a gay they didn’t do anything (pretty much his parents were assholes and also abusive). One day the bullying got too much, like really intense, so he ran away to the outskirts of the city and found a house. He got in there and that became suddenly his safe place. He went there almost every day, because school was horrible and house was worse. One day, when his dad decided to beat him up and it school he found that his locker, once again, had the word “FAG” written again, he was fed up. He went directly to that house and killed himself. (He hung). He was found two weeks later by policemen and he was buried in the house. (This happened in 2010-15)

Thomas Sanders, is just a youtuber and medium. Once he decided to made a special video for Halloween and noticed the four ghosts living there, and they became friends. He goes there and share music with Alexander and show him gay parades and how his school was shut down or stuff. He shows Logan new technology and bonds also over pride parades, he keeps him up with aware of news. He showed Mario photos of his kids and cooked together. He shows Roman just how beautiful his kingdom turned out and how he’s I some history books. They just bond a lot.

Random stuff.

• Roman knows now how to speak normal English, but until Mario appears he spoke in ancient English. • Logan loves to read, but now he can hold books so Mario told him stories. (Thomas read to all of them). • All of the Day of Dead, they cuddle with Mario because he just missed his kids so much and wished he could hug them again. (I broke my own heart) • Alex is the only one who likes being dead, he used to fight a lot with Roman for that until one day Mario, as a good dad, make them talk. • There’s a legend in Mexico that said that the first of November, ghosts can materialize. Roman loves videogames, so Thomas go that day and let him played in his PSP and he gives Alex his phone. He brings books for Logan and flowers and photos to Mario. • They all can play instruments, and apparently, they can touch them. • Roman loves to watched TV and things that were created all the time. • Never called Alex Alexander, unless you want the rage of a teen ghost towards you. (Alexander is the name of his father, and as you can imagine, he hates his father) • Alex was 18 when he killed himself. Mario and Logan were 25 and Roman 20. • I can picture Mario and Logan developing feelings for each other and that would be amazing! A ghost discovering his own sexuality after years of being dead. • When Alex first notice he’s a ghost he was so freaked out, that he almost destroyed the house. • In the anniversary of Roman’s dead, Logan help him. He tells Roman historical facts and about how horrible was the dead of the Duke that ended up as a king. • In the anniversary of Logan’s dead, Alex help him. He talks about how better is for the LGBTQI+ community lately and how he’s actually a well-known scientist. • In the anniversary of Mario’s dead, all of the help him. They all agree he’s the one that probably suffered the most, so they spend all they cuddle in the floor and let him talks about his kids and they even watched TV together. • In the anniversary of Alex’s dead, Mario helps him. He just assured him no one else would be bullied and that, even if he had to killed himself, he’s love in that house. • No, but imagine one day while watching tv (because they can’t do a lot) a Disney movie popped out and Roman is so so so in love. • Alex telling Roman about Disney movies.

So, yeah that’s my AU. *runs away because im shy* 

If you want to do something about this, that i doubt it but whatever, go ahead! But tag me pls!! 

[khlln]

The Gay Kid

Word had gotten out. Who knew the language we speak, became to plague that runs along our tongues. Who knew the compliments we use to brighten peoples day, and uplift people out of depression were the things that were turned and swindled by humans to create offences. Being homosexual now correlates to being a sinner? Being gay is now tied to a negative slanter? Grade 7: The Senior Primary Year. Of the time it was a big thing. Rocking up to class, sitting down i realise all of my class were the popular kids, with the odd 5 nerds in the back. Hmm. Now I think you could have assumed where I sat, well obviously next to the nerds. I mean, after last year, I really couldnt deal with the bullshit, or the drama. Maybe it had fizzled over the holidays? Maybe it had been forgotten. I sit next to this guy, not a nerd, but a 'nerd'. He was super adorable, and today he's hot as fuck but different story. We sat together for a while, chillin, listenin, readin, collecting time to buy while the final year of primary school breezes by. But by breath a blizzard come quick. Freezing time a boy turns around and asks with a nice clear and crisp voice, for even the teacher to hear, 'Are you two dating?' I had honestly thought, you have to be fucking kidding me. This bullshit has gone on long enough. At this point bullying couldnt be dealt with, it would be useless. 'The Gay Kid' branded me for the next half year. Hanging with the in crowd didnt help too much, nor did hanging with the out crowd. Either way, boys were boys, and they are hot. Idk even people to this day look at me like im some disgusting child rapist. Like what act of crime have I gone through for you to give me this look? I cant look my own way? Playing on my mind was the thought of the new year, new school. New me? New identity? A fresh start. That all comes later on. He was super super cute, this guy I would sit next to. I became attracted to him, which was scary at first cause like from being 'hard' over a girl was the norm, in class boys first made reference to wanking, purely from seeing the side ads on school websites. Child-friendly porn you could call it. This idea of a guy kinda hit me where it 'shouldnt have'. The idea of me becoming to this idea churned my stomach. Made me sick. How could I be so disgusting, so vulgar. 'Gay is not the way' played on in my head for so so so long. For anyone who asked, I was the femenine straight kid. I was the pretty, i dont care what anyone thinks kid. I was the strong one. But from where it broke me, it made me. Sure I was the bent kid, who sat alone, but i was never sitting alone was I. Cause I had me. And me, myself, and I pulled myself from out of this shit hole, and put me where i am today. 'The' Gosh make it sound official hey. An isolated character. The. what a profound title. I am the only one. you are lone. at least thats how I felt. Suicide crossed my mind so many times through this period. I thought, if my body wanted to get off to a male's persona rather than a females than why not be in the ground. my mum wont love me? my dad wont? my little sister will be like tf? i felt worthless. I felt hopeless. the kids who would stare and wonder how I could be so different. To the kids who read this and stood by my side through this, thank you, you arent neglected. but if you dont hear yourself be mentioned, then news flash, you werent there to help me. and funny how ive mentioned no one yet. 'Gay' The new sin. The new punishment. What did I do to deserve this? I would go home, and google 'am i gay quiz' or the classic 'how to know if your gay' in google incognito, and look up whether the internet could tell me something i had to tell me myself. it would tell me all kinds of bullshit. it got to the point, where i was sick and tired of crying myself to sleep so much, that i would fake thw results, so I could feel better about myself. but a dark pond willowes beneath me. dark waters swelled. who knows, if your mind sits happy, doesnt mean your heart does. 'Kid' Keep in kind im 12. A twelvie. A selfie junky, long haired, sweaty-rat-like homosexual twelve year old. And I hated myself. Gosh dont i sound horrible. I went from first hearing the word, 'Gay' to now wearing it like my own. Fuck yeah I was the gay kid, you're god damn right I was. This wasnt over, this is only just beginning. Cause you see, the trick I fell down was, believing that finding true happiness comes at the age of 12, pro tip it doesnt. The year goes by, a few death threats, a near death, a near boyfriend, a near girlfriend, 2 girlfriends. I was so scared omg. MANY CRUSHES, many heart breaks. much disappointment. and finally down, to graduation. we graduate. we leave. we. dont. look. back. The final time I saw this guy I turned away and walked off. I didnt cry, I didnt tear, I cried to the first girl I could truely say I liked. How the days have changed. She changed, she changed me. I sit here crying now thinking of how stupid it was, only grade 7. It wasnt the buildings, it wasnt the school. It was the memories that lay within these areas. I wouldve much have rathered being thrown, into a concrete wall, being called gay, then being somewhere new. It had finally hit me. The old has gone, the grade has left. We drove off, into the distance. The gay kid planted in my brain, who knew where it would grow. who knew where it would take me. Who knew who was next to come. And boy wasn't he a nightmare.

[transsexualhamlet]

tzll us EVEYTHIN G ABout sherlock hols

ABABSHDFSHDSFHHSHEWIOH:OIFIEHW:HDFSD

lol i mentioned i was reading it in the yuumori server and spent the next three hours yelling about it but yes yes yes!!

I have legit only read the forward so far but ok the man who wrote this forward is in fucking love with sherlock motherfucking holmes and makes it everyone's problem! It's also, thirty pages long! And spends at least five of those pages discussing sherlock's probable homosexuality and various mental disorders!

And it's absolutely fucking wild!

Why is this so gay "through the haze I had a vision of holmes in his dressing gown coiled up in an armchair with his black clay pipe between his lips" "the unanswered correspondance he transfixes by a jack knife into the very center of his wooden mantelpiece" what are these words.....

Ok so what I found funny was the old sherlock adaptions he mentioned lIKE APPARENTLY THERE WAS ONE WHERE SHERLOCK ESHIOFESHOESFFESHEFSHEFE. SHERLOCK MEETS SHDS:HFDSOHFDSODISHW:EFEWHO. SHSERLOCK MEETS SIGMUND FREUD HWIEOHF:OEW:O:OEWFOEF WHO TELLS HIM S:HIFHDS:OF:OEW:OEW THAT HIS OBSESSION WITH MORIARTY IS. BECAUSE OF YOU GUESSED IT HIS MOM SH:IOFDH:OEWIOFHEW:FEWIOFH:OEWFIOEW

Hashhwhfwe also apparently sherlock disguised himself as an old lady once and again this dude said it like "Respectable men in the 1890s would be aghast at seeing a fellow they knew sauntering about in a frock and a wig!"

He also spends like ten minutes assuring the audience that sherlock does in fact hate rich people

The guy is also like "sherlock was definitely manic-depressive so there's that" so true bestie

ALSO DOYLE WASNT GOING TO CONTINUE HOLMES AFTER THE FIRST BOOK EXCEPT THEN HE HAD A SMOKE WITH OSCAR WILDE AND WAS LIKE YKNOW WHAT LET'S DO THIS

he also says that the books should be subtitled "the education of john watson" bc sherlock fucking corrupts him

also Doyle in a letter to his mom saying that he's gonna kill off sherlock like "I think of slaying Holmes in the sixth and winding him up for good and all. He takes my mind from better things."

The author of the foward was straight up like yeah Irene Adler was probably created just to make sure the readers didn't think Sherlock was a Homosexual so like him maybe thinking so highly of Irene explains why he says he's never gonna be in any relationship with any woman lol (?????) But it's funny bc the dude is like yeah Irene is supposed to be like a mirror version of Sherlock himself but with tits so that doesnt mean hes straight it means hes self centered and Sherlock would only be interested in someone who was as smart as himself *goes right into talking about how moriarty was his perfect match*

And then the forward guy goes on to say "I love how Doyle loved to say that Sherlock was an emotionless robot my good sir he's literally in love with watson" (paraphrasing obviously but he legit said hes in love with watson /srs) Like yeah like he rlly does care for people he's just autistic<3

This dude also says Doyle was so worried about having a Worthy Opponent to kill Sherlock that he made a oopsie and now him and moriarty are thematic parallels and soulmates (HE FUCKING SAID SOULMATES BESTIE IM NOT LYING THIS DUDE IS GAY AF)

LIKE. WHAT. THEY'RE SOULMATES I SUPPOSE

Again i am mentioning the way he describes moriarty and sherlock falling off reichenbach it's literally so fucking gay

he also describes sherlock as doyle's "problem child" im gonna die

Sherlock tended bees in his retirement.... the yuumori fandom knows about this now but like..... bees......<333

He just you know went on and on and on about how great and gay and mentally ill sherlock was It's like sherlock is literally not going to suck your dick my good sir

[quentincoldwaters]

for the ask thing: even (how very surprising), newt (i'm being very predictable with these aren't i lol) and harry potter!!

thank you inka !! 💚💚

send me a character and i’ll tell you…

even bech næsheim

1: sexuality headcanon: pan even is my jam2: otp: evak obviously3: brotp: even & magnus have a lot of potential4: notp: don’t have one5: first headcanon that pops into my head: even loves playing the guitar for isak every evening. sitting on his bed, lights low, he would play different songs every time, although some of them will remain the same - isak’s favorites. then one day isak would ask him to teach him to play the guitar, so even would show him a few simple chords6: favorite line from this character: “there’s only you and your thoughts, you know? you can’t escape your own thoughts. the only way to do that is to die.”7: one way in which i relate to this character: we’re both Extra af and the way they’ve portrayed his depression is highly relatable8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: how desperate and extra he is what a loser honestly,, i would die for him9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? cinnamon roll

newt

1: sexuality headcanon: he is a flaming homosexual i won’t accept anything else2: otp: newtmas3: brotp: i ship everyone with everyone in tmr what brotps are you talking about,, ok let’s say minewt or nalby bc i am equally happy with both of these as romantic or platonic relationships4: notp: newt/girls5: first headcanon that pops into my head: newt loves to draw. not necessarily actual thorough drawings, sometimes just simple doodles. he would doodle the things around him, his friends, his sister, something he’d seen in a dream. it calms him and gives him the opportunity to forget about how terrifying and unstable his real world is6: favorite line from this character: “you get lazy, you get sad. start givin’ up. plain and simple.”7: one way in which i relate to this character: i too put everyone else’s needs above my own sometimes and love thomas even tho he can be so annoying8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: nothing he’s perfect9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? cinnamon roll… im bout to cry he deserved better

harry potter

1: sexuality headcanon: bi bi bi2: otp: hedric although it’s not an “otp” otp it’s just my favorite harry ship3: brotp: harry & ron4: notp: harry/adults (snape, voldemort etc) it’s gross please stop5: first headcanon that pops into my head: this is really random but he loves strawberry ice cream and is always ready to fight anyone who says it sucks6: favorite line from this character: the only thing that comes to my head is “there’s no need to call me sir, professor.” asdkgsk7: one way in which i relate to this character: idk8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: acting w/o thinking everything through why do ya lit protagonists keep doing that and no one stops them!!!9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? more of a cinnamon roll i think

[survivoratomic-acadia]

Confessionals!

Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!

5/22

Tim

WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!

Aren

Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!

QuilLynn

So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho

Stephen

Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.

Aundra

"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.

my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.  

Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao                                                                                                 xoxo, gossip girl "

5/23

Madison

TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST. 

Dan

"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.

This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.

I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "

Sarah

"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!

First season winner and flop returning again.

I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except  luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!

Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)

I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me

So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love

Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK

Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!

Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA

Anyways ill be back later with more news"

Aundra

"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me

Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely                                 Xoxo, gossip girl "

Tim

"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great

Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite

Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas

Me: Guess I'll just... write."

Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!

Stephen

"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."

Duncan

https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk

Aundra

"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018

I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”

That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W                                  Xoxo, gossip girl "

Dan

"Our story is........... garbage honestly.

What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "

Heather

Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.

5/24

Duncan

so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel?  think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3

Luke

"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!

Opinions on my tribe:

Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!

Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.

Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:

Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.

Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.

Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!

Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!

Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1

[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "

Dana

"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!

Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.

Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "

Jay

I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia

Heather

Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe

Sam

Wig going okay so far!!

Ruthie

I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself.  I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!

Tim

Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"

Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.

This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.

Ali

just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)

Sammy

okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.

Aundra

"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good

QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason                                                                                  xoxo, gossip girl"

Carson

"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.

Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "

Stephen

So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.

Julia

So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc

Chris Stoner

"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.

Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.

I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "

5/25

Heather

SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit

Tim

Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!

Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!

Heather

I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.

5/26

Aundra

"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos)                                                                                     xoxo, gossip girl      P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it.  "

Chris Stoner

Nothing much.  We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon 

Dan

So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee

Luke

Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool 

Sammy

ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!! 

Ruthie

So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!! 

Quil

So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH. 

Duncan

its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space  mountain so badly, i dont want to go.

5/27

Duncan

Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later 

5/28

Tim

Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.

Carson

HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

Aundra

"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops?                                    Xoxo, gossip girl "

Jay

I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.

Dan

I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (: 

5/29

Dana

Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat. 

Tim

Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!

Ruthie

"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days!  As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week.  I think it was SO lucky too hehe.

I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "

Aundra

"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol                                     Xoxo, gossip girl "

Quil

the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!

Luke

My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!

5/30

Chris Stoner

So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe. 

5/31

Dan

I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal 

Ruthie

My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess 

Sammy

nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.

Ruthie

I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow. 

Sarah

I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all

Quil

"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"

6/1

Duncan

Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit

Sammy

literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/

Ruthie

So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing 

Tim

It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.

Olivia

REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION 

Carson

Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew

Aundra

"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed /                                                                                                xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"

6/2

Stoner

. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working. 

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2

[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!

[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me

[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan

[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional

Heather

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM

This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"

Luke

AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^ 

Dan

We won woo love life no one talks to me

Carson

We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!

Jay

I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/

6/5

Sammy

woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.

6/6

Carson

"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.

Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."

Tim

Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX

Sarah

I hate hate my tribe pt 4

Quil

So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)

Heather

WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe. 

Luke

wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win 

Madison

IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA. 

In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out? 

6/7

Dan

"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.

I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"

Duncan

Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on

Tim

Fuck my game with this swap huh.

Aundra

"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY  my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder                                   Xoxo gossip goat "

Dan

Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt. 

6/10

Tim

Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!

Quil

Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!

Aundra

"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out!                                   Xoxo gossip goat"

Luke

"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)

I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway

Ugh my mind"

Duncan

I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives 

Heather

Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh. 

Dan

This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)

Ruthie

"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!  

I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see!  I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "

6/11

Heather

We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.

Dan

I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that. 

Aundra

"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean                                   Xoxo gossip goat "

6/12

Tim

Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!

Quil

Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes

Tim

So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.

Luke

"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...

I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"

Sammy

ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....

Madison

"Me: throws immunity

Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.

Am I mad? Not particularly. "

Aundra

"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things                                   Xoxo gossip goat"

6/13

Tim

I MADE MERGE WOOOO

6/14

Luke

"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.

After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "

Duncan

I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack 

Dan

Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people

Heather

"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"

Carson

God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!

Madison

Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!

6/15

Sammy

okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....

6/16

Duncan

I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over

Madison

"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "

Dan

"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???

I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.

Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "

Madison

WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo

6/17

Olivia

Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild. 

6/20

Dan

"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.

Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "

6/21

Dan

"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.

I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "

6/24

Dan

"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.

Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.

I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"

6/27

Dan

This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)

[ivyjjk-blog]

Mental health, depression and Support~

i wanted to share my 2 cents on the whole drama going on with the post about jungkook self harming and @noransaekk. Now there are alot of things she writes that i disagree with I do occasionally  to read her blog because it’s healthy to be aware of other prospectives in regards to a particular situation. Before I go into depth i’ll quickly give a background of myself. I was born in Pakistan (Peshawar) and moved to Korea at age 7, then at age 11 we moved to the uk and I’ve been living here ever since. Growing up as an Asian with pretty strict parents can be difficult, I wasn’t allowed to make my own decisions, I wasn’t allowed to wear what I wanted, I couldn’t even talk to other boys. I had never ever heard of homosexuality, only thing I knew was guys married girls and only became intimate once married hell I didn’t even know what periods were until i got mine (needless to say i was shocked). Growing up in Pakistan was difficult I didn’t have a single moment i was left alone to my thoughts, trying to do anything my parents didn’t agree to was something i couldn’t ever fathom.

(t.w warning for the next few paragraphs) I remember when I was six I was at my grandmas’ house (she lives in sawabi which is a highly strict and outright suffocating region) we were all sitting in the veranda and my grandma was talking to my mum about how so and so’s daughter ran away from home, the poor girl was murdered, yep that’s right murdered for running away. Incase u didn’t know a girl running away from home is highly dishourable and people in villages in pakistan are pretty consumed by their honour. The reason she ran away was said to be because she felt suffocated in that house. Apparently shehad mental issues but they were disregarded since it wasn’t a physical ailment. The fact that this poor girl suffering from mental issues, deppression was killed for trying to escape from that toxic environment where no one took her condition seriously, where she had no one she could confide in really stuck with, she was only 16. All that because people don’t care to  understand mental health or are willing to support people with it.

A year later we moved to korea (i’d rather not mention why), it was a drastic change I mean sure it was still in asia but it was much more, how can I say this.. liberating, I didn’t have to worry about wearing a scarf 24/7, I could actually go out to the corner shop myself if i wanted. The biggest change was my mum it’s as if all her life in pakistan she had been stifled, she even started asking  about  my opinions. Anyways things were better but one of the things still the same was the taboo of mental health. It’s not that people didn’t care, it’s just that they never paid attention to it. growing up I was told I had to be a docter, there wa literally no other option for me. Everytime i would jokingly say I don’t wanna be a doctor I would get a 10 hour lecture of how much disgrace I would bring if I didn’t. I had my own group of friends but whenever I tried to talk about the pressures of school or deppression they would all just rebuff me. If I would be in a bad mood, people would call me ungrateful saying there’s nothing lacking in my life. if anyone ever talked about feeling depressed they would be given a lecture on how dramatic they’re being or simply ignored. If there’s nothing physically wrong with you then you weren’t taken seriously.

  Obviously a whole country can’t be the same but the point of this whole post is that ignring the possibilty of someone having depression or mental issues is way too common even in countries like America or Uk. We love bts,we may ship different things, have different biases but we have that in common and if u love them shouldn’t u worry about their mental health too? Yes we shouldn’t make assumptions about how they feel but we have to let them know that if there is something wrong it’s okay to share it with us, we shouldn;t alienate any possibility of that by simply dismissing the signs. Same with sexuality, they might all be straight and that won’t change how we see them but we have to let them know we’ll always support them no matter what. I wish someone could’ve been there for me whilst I was going through that or even tried to listen to what I had to say I havn’t selfharmed but i came pretty close many times. It’s hard going through depression without someone by ur side. Now im sure bighit and bts will always be there for each other but we as fans should be too. 

Also i’m really disgusted at how many of u, without reading her posts or educating urselves about the situation went and attacked her. If anyone bothers to read my post then please just, if u don’t have anything nice to say then just don’t say anything. Im not an angel,I myself say many nasty things when I get angry but lets try to control those instincts, especially if any taekookers are reading this post, please stop going after other jikook accounts, I know alot harrass us but be the bigger person they’re probably just trolls not even real jikookers so please just stop.