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morbidly-malicious-muffins · 4 years

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What Kind of Music Slashers Would Vibe to Headcanons♪

This little thing popped into my head. Fyi, the canon timelines are thrown out the window for this so... Yeah.

Bring forth the bop~

RZ Michael Myers

"Let my weapons be your children, let my armies be your damned. Try to suffer on in silence, try to stop me if you can." --- This Cold Black by Slipknot

I think he'd really enjoy metal in general. I can totally see him unknowingly stomping to some Marilyn Manson and Meshuggah, though the lyrics and message probably will just fly over his head.

He listens to some heavy shit, but probably all the more mainstream bands/artists.

The loudness and organized chaos of the genre fills the void in his soul and reflects the state of his mind, despite his stoic and non-verbal outer demeanor.

Someone please do everyone a favor and introduce Michael to some death metal. Admit it, it really fits his aesthetic.

This is just based on speculation, but I suspect a 70% possibility of RZ Michael resonating with Cannibal Corpse. Fight me.

He hates classical music with a burning passion. Back in Smith's Grove, they played Bach's Air Sul G on tap. (its canon in the first movie lmao) He hates it. Mikey no likey.

Freddy Krueger

"No stop signs, speed limit, nobody's gonna slow me down. Like a wheel, gonna spin it, nobody's gonna mess me around." --- Highway to Hell, by AC/DC

Freddy listens to classic rock, period.

This guy is ngl a supporter of music taste discrimination. You listen to pop? Disgusting. You listen to Jazz? Disgusting. Classic rock is the epitome of all music.

He'll call you music-related slurs you never knew existed.

As stubborn adamant as Freddy is, he does harbor some guilty pleasures, including 70's hair metal and glam rock. Pshh. What a heckin hypocrite.

Some of his all time favorites are Guns N' Roses, Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, and AC/DC.

(Basic bitch)

*Hip thrust movements to go with his 'The Sprinkler' dance moves, Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses blasting in the background*

OG Michael Myers

He doesn't listen to music, but if he did, he would probably enjoy Jazz.

Michael only listens to Miles Davis because he enjoys his music and can't be bothered to discover more artists.

Oml Michael I know Miles Davis is amazing but don't neglect other iconic artists plzzz. Someone please make him listen to some Teddy Wilson and/or Dave Brubeck.

I imagine him sitting stiff-straight on a rocking chair (he just likes how it moves), knife in his lap, rocking and zoning-out relaxing to 'Blue in Green'. (I love that piece)

#AfterHeFinallyKillsLaurie

#RetirementGoals

He also hates classical music because of the same reason as RZ Myers. Seriously, if either of them so much as hears the opening chord of Air Sul G, expect the speaker to be stomped to a pulp in a split second.

Bubba Sawyer

Alright let's all be honest with ourselves... 70's pop and country is Bubba's shit.

Look me in the face and tell me he wouldn't adore ABBA, The Jackson 5, and Dolly Parton. Thats right you can't

Everytime 'Dancing Queen' starts playing on the radio, Bubba will drop everything and start busting down.

Ain't nothing and nobody stoppin him. Drayton is powerless against the supreme sovereignty that is ABBA.

But let's also appreciate the fact that our Bubster can motherfuckin get down. *wipes sweat from forehead + heart eyes*

He would also do passionate lip sync with his heart and soul, to Dolly Parton's 'I Will Always Love You'.

50% chance of him starting to cry right after he finishes his earnest performance.

*Holding Bubba in your arms, rubbing comforting circles on his back as he bawls hysterically, incoherently babbling on about how much he loves you*

I also feel for some reason he'd really like Joan Jett & The Blackhearts.

Thomas Hewitt

"For one moment, I wish you'd hold your stage, with no feelings at all. Open minded, I'm sure I used to be so free." --- Citizen Erased by Muse

Y'know what I have a hard time imagining the type of music Tommy listens to. Kutos, Mr. Hewitt, you have defeated me.

siKE

(This is where I yeet the timeline out of the window y'all)

Thomas enjoys Muse, Evanescence, and Radiohead. (Fight me)

He just loves how emotional their songs are. He'd have one earbud in as he works away at his projects for hours. The music helps him concentrate, it is also a source of emotional support to him.

Hearing the heart-wretching lyrical content of 'Lost in Paradise' performed so beautifully by Amy Lee's angellic voice is really comforting to him. It's like hearing about another person's experiences. It makes him feel less alone in dealing with his emotional and mental turmoils and burdens.

The first time Thomas heard 'Creep' by Radiohead, he almost cried.

He also listens to My Chemical Romance sometimes. He only knows the Black Parade album, but he loves it. If 'Creep' didn't make him cry, listening to that entire album from top to bottom sure did. He started sobbing half-way through 'Famous Last Words'.

Tommy is emotional boi 🥺

Brahms Heelshire

C l a s s i c a l

No matter how stinky Brahms is, you can't tell me that he's not classy.

Schubert is his bitch. Schubert's style tends to be quite majestic and/or dreamy, (generally) and can change color/sound very abruptly yet appropriately. (This is just my opinion based on experience with Schubert's pieces, but then I only know his piano pieces soo) (let's still cue that maestoso to scherzando transition)

But of course, Schubert isn't the only thing he listens to. He prefers the romantic period, so Mendelssohn, Rachmaninoff, Chopin, Shostakovich, Brahms, Schumann, you get the gist, all the staples. Oh yeah Elgar too. To be a proud English lad.

*Brahms swaying in the living room with the grace of a baby giraffe, engrossed in the beautiful melodies in Schumann's Kinderszenen.*

(Oml please check out 'Von fremden Landern und Manschen' and 'Kind im Einschlummern') (For those who play piano, they aren't that difficult too totally recommend) (Ok sorry I'm done now)

Brahms would totally waltz around alone to Chopin's waltzes and nocturnes.

Oh yeah apart from that classy shit, he likes to jam to meme songs.

"Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play---"

*cut to Brahms passionately fortnite dancing*

Listens to The Strange Man Who Sings About Dead Animals for a good laugh. (Please, all of his songs are gold)

Vincent Sinclair

He'll have 'emo' and 'classical' with a side of metal, thanks.

I headcanon that Vinny McWaxy is an INFJ, so the boy is likely prone to crippling existentialism. It would make sense for some aspects of his music taste to reflect that.

*cut to Vincent sitting rock-still on his workbench/stool, hands hover in mid-air, staring straight ahead, some John Cage piece playing*

You'll never hear this from Vincent but he enjoys sexy-time music. He has this whole erotic playlist he listens to while working. (Boy likes to feel sexy on the job, I respect that.)

I think its pretty much canon that Vinny loves MCR. (Hello fellow emo piece of shit 👋) His favorites are everything by them really. A hardcore fan. He used to have MCR, P!ATD, and 30 Seconds to Mars posters plastered everywhere in his workshop until he had to remove them all to add to the intimidation factor of his waxy hell for passer-bys. For the record, he is very gay for Frank Iero.

On the metal part of his spectrum is mostly classic metal, groove metal, and thrash/heavy metal.

Rammstein, Pantera, Vildhjarta, new and old Metallica, Dream Theatre, Coheed and Cambria. His bitches.

He also uses music to scare victims when bringing them down to his workshop. *cue horror movie soundtracks*

*KI KI KI MA MA MA*

Is a whore for the dramatics when in a good mood.

*Lacrimosa by Mozart plays as he makes a point to bring the wax painfully slowly down toward a drowsy and petrified victim*

A lament for your upcoming death, pitiful human.

Bo Sinclair

"The day has come for all us sinners, if you're not a servant you'll be struck to the ground." -- Beast and The Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold

Bastard boy is into dad-music™. (same)

Dad rock, classic rock, pop punk, punk rock, old school pop, his shit.

He listens to a lot of the same bands as Freddy, but Bo (generally) doesn't discriminate and explores a more diverse variety of music.

Its a fandom canon that Bo loves Avenged Sevenfold. I totally agree.

A7x is the perfect amount of cynical, political, and shred for Beauregard, (I hc that ge hates his full name so plz don't ever call him Beauregard)

He listens to the radio whenever he's at work. Whatever that might be.

Will NEVER admit it, but he thinks Vinny's music taste is dope as hell.

He'll turn off the radio just to strain his ears to listen to Vincent's music downstairs. No one will ever know that though. You don't.

Actually likes classical music too. Its not one of his main genres but there's one piece he really likes, Second Movement of Shostakovich Piano Concerto No. 2 in F Major.

He never thought he'd enjoy this type of music. Its so.... Calm. He discovered that piece from Vinny's playlist. When he first heard it on his brother's speaker, he fell in love. It was one of the extremely rare cases in which he'd be committed enough to ask Vinny the name of the music.

Tiny shuffle for man-kind, huge fuckin step for Bo. Good job Bo, we're proud of you.

Also pleeeeeaaase message me or request stuff, I'm bored and have little inspiration 🦊

I might do a pt2 of this, since I didn't write many of the boys and gals🤷‍♀️

Also sorry if I've neglected some genres/artists (Like i've neglected non-piano classical pieces.... Bc ya girl is just a pianist), a person can't know everything😗

---Zali 🖤

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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years

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green looks good on you vinny mauro x reader

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Request from @gardenjungle : "If you are taking requests, I would LOVE if you could do an imagine where the reader has a ton in common with Chris (likes hockey and Harry Potter, is a vegan, etc...) so they’re super close, and Vinny is super upset about it because he likes her sooo much and “Chris gets all the girls” ??? Vinny gets no love and you’re one of the only people who writes about him often. I’d also love if you could get a little sexy action in there"

Ngl this is like 1600+ words and i wrote it in like twenty minutes and loved every minute of it. i really hope you like it! i didnt end up adding anything ‘sexy’ but its pretty gratifying to say the least lol.

Song: gold by sleeping with sirens

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @ryansitkowskiswifey @joeybarber @thisplace-ishaunted

+++++++++

i rocked back into the couch, laughing at what chris had said. he was sat next to me, very comfortably, as we chatted amongst ourselves. we had been very close friends for a very long time and i was over the moon that he'd invited me to travel with them for this tour as the videographer. not only did i get to expand my portfolio but i also got to connect with my best friend and his band.

"okay but do you remember that one fall at the orchard when you tripped on that apple and ended up face first in the dirt?"

he laughed out and i sent him a shocked expression.

"i thought we agreed to never bring that up!"

i protested, the other guys around us sort of laughing along, them only half paying attention as they played a new video game. their focus was above our heads.

"but it was hilarious. i looked up for a split second and BAM! there you went."

he said loudly, being a little more expressive at the 'bam.' i shook my head at him.

"okay then, if we are ratting each other out about stupid shit weve done,what about that one time you got your hand stuck in the Christmas tree ties on your dads car?"

i said matter-of-factly. his eyes got wide.

"hey! that was an accident and you know it. we couldve taken my whole arm off!"

he said in his defense.

"i thought it was hilarious."

i said sternly back, smiling widely at him. he stuck his tongue out at me, a notion i gladly mirrored. then he grabbed me around the shoulders, pulling me to him. i screamed at the sudden motion, looking to vinny and rick who were sitting across from us for some guidance but they were to into the game.

"you two are too much."

ricky laughed out, looking at ryan for a second as he walked by. chris pulled me closer before licking a stripe up my face.

"ew!"

i said pulling away from him and wiping his saliva off of my face.

"asshole!"

i said, grabbing his face and blowing raspberries into his cheek. he laughed incredulously, pushing me away from him.

"youre nasty."

he said mimicking my notion and wiping his face. i punched his arm lightly before swinging my legs into his lap, him holding them there and looking down at me endearingly.

"so are you."

i said back, shaking my head at him, nose scrunched.

"you know you love me."

he said, bringing his face closer to mine.

"well yeah."

i said back, squinting at him.

"i think im done for tonight."

vinny said suddenly, pausing the game. ricky sent him a look like 'wtf?' and watched him stand.

"im gonna go get some air."

he said and we all watched him walk off the bus.

"that was weird right?"

i asked and they all nodded. i had a good few chances to talk to vinny since tour had started and he seemed like a really cool guy. someone id be lucky to call a close friend by the time tour was over if not something more. part of me felt bad, like chris and i really where too much for him to handle in that moment. but this was how we always were. we practically survived our teens years together, losing touch for a bit but inevitably going back to the way things where when we found each other back.

"you guys mind if i go out there too?"

i asked and they all sort of shrugged at me, chris letting my legs go so i could stand. as i did i leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

"dont miss me while im gone."

i joked and he rolled his eyes at me.

"of course not."

i laughed a little bit as i descended down the stairs, pushing the door open and seeing vinny leaning against the bus.

"you okay?"

i asked softly, walking to him and rubbing my hands together. i had sort of forgotten how cold it had got. it was late fall after all but the bus was so warm and inviting i didnt even think about grabbing a jacket before leaving. i half shivered as i walked closer, his face being illuminated by the street lights outside the venue.

"uh yeah, everything's great."

he said a little condescendingly, kicking his foot into the gravel under him.

"im sorry if we were too much, i guess when we get together we have a tendency to overshare and its not for everyone. but i suppose thats what you get when youre comfortable with someone the way we are."

i tried to defend to him and he let out a short sigh-laugh.

"its no big deal, you guys really like each other. its cool."

i smiled.

"yeah, hes my best friend."

vinny nodded once.

"how long have you guys been together? i dont recall him ever talking about you before."

i drew my brows.

"together?"

i asked and he seemed just as confused as i was.

"look i get it, chris gets all the girls, being the front man and all."

he seemed a little jealous.

"but i dont think he ever mentioned you before tour started and then one day he told us about some girl coming on to film us. but clearly you guys are close so do you have like a, i dont know, like a open relationship type thing?"

i laughed a little bit.

"you think chris and i are dating?"

he half shrugged.

"well yeah, its kinda obvious."

i shook my head and took his hand in mine.

"vinny i can assure you that chris and i are just friends. if anything hes like the brother i never asked for nor wanted but got anyways. but life just does that sometimes."

he looked down at our connected hands and let go of me promptly.

"i guess it just doesnt seem like that."

he said a little hurt. i sighed and leaned against the bus next to him.

"it would be kind of weird to bring it up to him but i like someone else in this band, if you wanted to know."

i said, looking at him a little hopeful he was picking up what i was putting down.

"oh."

he said sadly. i sighed, i guess not.

"yeah, hes super cool, and nice, and ive really enjoyed connecting with him."

i shivered as the wind blew and he finally looked over at me.

"are you cold?"

he asked, ignoring what i had just said. i nodded a little bit, crossing my arms over my chest.

"just a little bit but i ll be fine."

he shook his head at me.

"no way, here."

he said taking his jacket off. at least he had long sleeves on. he placed his jacket over my shoulders, pulling it together in the front.

"thanks vin."

i said as we both returned to our positions against the bus.

"would your new dream guy do that?"

he half joked, i could still hear the venom in his voice. he was absolutely jealous. i thought it was funny because now he was jealous of himself.

"actually yeah."

he scoffed, hiking his foot up on the side of the bus.

"great."

he said looking away from me. i stepped closer and nudged him.

"he would because he just did."

he looked at me and drew his brows together.

"wait you mean?"

he asked, his face turning to that of shock. i nodded.

"god, yes. vin ive had a crush on you since i got here."

i laughed out.

"i didnt think you would like me back and then i realized just now that that was utter bullshit."

he half smiled.

"and whys that?"

he asked a little cocky.

"you were jealous of chris and that has only happened to me a handful of times in my life. once in highschool when my boyfriend said he would break up with me if i didnt stop hanging out with him. once when i graduated college and my then boyfriend accused me of sleeping with him. and right now."

he looked down a little ashamed.

"yeah i guess that wasnt fair of me to do. i just figured since you guys hit it off so fast that you were into him."

i laughed a little bit.

"dont get me wrong i love him with my whole being, but seeing someone go through puberty just does something to your vision of them ya know?"

i asked and he laughed back, nodding.

"okay, well if you really are into me, would it be stepping to far to ask you out?"

he said hopefully and i grinned widely at him.

"i would love that vin."

he sent me a tired smile in the dim street lights.

"may i also be so bold as to ask if i could kiss you?"

i let out a nervous laugh. i was really gonna let that happen huh? i nodded.

"id like that a lot vin."

he stepped closer to me slowly, placing his hand gently against my cheek, running his thumb over it. his hands were rough and calloused from playing the drums so long but i didnt mind. it kind of felt nice. he looked deep into my eyes before leaning down and capturing my lips in his. all of a sudden it felt like home, like this was it, the thing id wanted for so long and never found. his other hand made its way to my waist as he deepend the kiss. i sighed into him, practically melting against his mouth like chocolate left outside in the sun on a hot day. when he pulled away he rested his forehead against mine and smiled like an idiot, one i gladly returned.

"fucking finally."

i heard from behind me, the bus door clicking closed. both of us turned to look, seeing ricky and chris standing there grinning from ear to ear. i had a mad blush splayed across my face now and was thankful that the light was behind me so it would be harder to see.

"how long have you been standing there?"

i demanded, walking to chris and punching his arm. he laughed in pain as he rubbed his arm.

"long enough to see the sparks fly."

he teased, pushing me back. i rolled my eyes at him.

"get your ass back in the bus."

i said opening the door and escorting him back inside. he made kissy noises at me as rick followed him up the stairs. i shook my head and turned around, jumping a little bit at vinnys presence behind me.

"rick had kind of been waiting for that for a while."

he said, looking up at the now closed door. i raised a a brow.

"oh?"

i asked and he sent me a bashful smile, scratching the back of his neck lightly.

"ive been crushing over you for a while too. and being jealous of chris just as long, rick's been pushing me to say something. i guess it just took one last little push."

he shamefully laughed out.

"at least now we're on the same page."

i said before standing on my tip toes and bringing him down to kiss me again, both of his hands going to my waist.

"now come on, im still cold and the bus is much warmer."

i joked and he nodded along.

"agreed."

#wattpad #x reader #vinny mauro #miw #vinchenzo mauro #Vincenzo Mauro #imagines #one shots #243

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the--blackdahlia · 5 years

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Royals Chapter 3 (Tommy x Nikki)

Title: Royals Chapter 3

Summary: Tommy’s hiding a secret from the rest of the band. He hoped it would never come out, but somehow, it did.

Warnings: Maybe just some language for this chapter

AN: Thank you guys for all the feedback! Here’s chapter 3! (Sorry for the delay but I’m feeling better now)

Greg, for better words, was not a match. He showed off his skills to Nikki at the store, but Nikki was not as flirty with him as he had been with Tommy. In fact, he came off a little cold and concrete. Tommy wasn’t sure what had changed in the bassist, but Greg seemed to get the hint and decided not to try to continue with this band.

“So, we need a guitarist and a vocalist,” Nikki grumbled as him and Tommy walked away from the store close to opening. Tommy stopped at a paper vending machine and paid for a copy of the Recycler before they continued walking. “We need someone who fucking shreds.”

“Greg wasn’t that bad,” Tommy shrugged, looking through the classifieds.

“He’s just not what I envision for the band,” Nikki was slightly snippy whenever Greg was brought up. Tommy stopped walking and it took Nikki a couple steps before he realized the drummer wasn’t with him. “What?”

“Here!” Tommy laid the newspaper on a bench. Nikki walked over and looked at the paper.

“What am I looking at?” He asked. Tommy used his drumstick to point at the paper.

Loud, rude, and aggressive guitar player.

“Well, that seems to fit the image,” Nikki nodded. “But let’s just look around first, okay? Most people who advertise in there are assholes.”

“Oh, okay,” Tommy nodded, folding up the paper and carrying it with him, just in case.

****

Three nights went by before Nikki and Tommy found their guitarist. They had gone out on the strip, doing a circuit of the clubs until finally they saw a band playing that had a pretty kick ass guitarist. He was short, a whole lot shorter than the two of them. But damn, did he play better than anyone else they had seen.

“Dude, that was awesome!” Tommy told Nikki as they waited outside the club for the mysterious guitarist.

“Yeah. I think he’s what we need,” Nikki licked his lips. The awkward fluorescent lighting outside of the club made Tommy’s skin look a different color, but Nikki didn’t care. “Hey T?”

“Yeah?” Tommy turned to look at the bassist, and before he knew it, he was pressed against the brick wall and Nikki’s lips were on his. It was rough, but Tommy let his eyes fall closed and parted his lips and felt himself being pressed harder against the wall. But fuck, he did not mind, not one bit. He had been imagining this very scene for awhile now.

Nikki finally pulled back after a little bit, both of them breathing heavy.

“Fuck,” He breathed. “We’ll have to do that more often.” Tommy didn’t know what to say. He just nodded. It took him a couple seconds before his mind caught up with what was going on.

“Nik, there’s something I gotta tell you,” Tommy told him. Tommy was about to open his mouth to tell him something when the side door opened and the guitarist came walking out.

“Hold that thought. We gotta talk to him,” Nikki smirked at him before turning towards the guitarist, who was lugging his things out to a fucking hatchback. “Hey man, need some help?”

“Uh, I got it,” Mick grumbled, eyeing the two of them.

“We saw you play,” Nikki told him. “Wondering if you were looking for another band. We’re in need of a guitarist of your skill.”

“You saw my ad?” Mick asked, standing up straight.

“Your ad?” Nikki asked, glancing back at Tommy.

“Loud, rude, and aggressive guitar player,” Mick told them. Tommy smacked Nikki’s arm lightly, giving him a “I told you so look” before taking a step towards him.

“I’m Tommy. And this is Nikki,” Tommy told him.

“Mick Mars,” He ran his eyes up and down Tommy, like he was trying to decide if this was friend or foe. “You’re a drummer?”

“Yeah dude!” Tommy smiled happily. Mick noticed Nikki staring at Tommy like he was the most important thing in the world. “I played with Suite 19 for the longest, but I was also with a band called Dealer and…”

“Pretty scrawny for a drummer,” Mick nodded. He looked over at Nikki. “When do you want me to try out?”

“You already did,” Nikki smirked. “If you want it, it’s yours.”

“What do I have to lose? Two kids approach me in a dark alley and offer me a gig? Eh, been in worse. You should see my ex wife,” Mick smiled at them. “Number’s in the paper. Call me when you want me to come jam with you guys.” With that, he was gone. Nikki looked over at Tommy and smiled.

“Come on, let’s go back to my place for some beers,” He wrapped an arm around his waist.

“Your place the music store?” Tommy asked.

“No man. I have an apartment. I just like the free shit he gives me,” Nikki laughed. “Come on, let’s go.”

****

Mick came over and they all three played together, finally having the energy that Nikki had been craving, but they were still missing something. They were still lacking a vocalist to be the siren to draw people in. So they set out on their new mission to find someone to front the band, to sing all the songs Nikki was writing, to make them stand out from every other band on the strip.

“You think we’re gonna get lucky a second time and find who we’re looking for at a bar?” Tommy asked as him, Mick, and Nikki made their way into the Roxy.

“There’s always a chance,” Nikki laughed. He placed a kiss on Tommy’s lips. “Keep your eyes open guys.” Tommy made his way over to the bar. He ordered himself a whiskey, and as he waited for the drink, a man came up to him.

“Hey sexy, buy you a drink?” He asked. Tommy turned.

“I got one, th...Vinnie?!” Tommy’s smile widened and his eyes lit up. The blond man leaning against the bar returned the smile and gave the taller man a hug.

“Fuck T, when did you get hot?” Vince laughed. “Man it’s good to see you!”

“Um-hum,”

Tommy and Vince turned to look at Nikki, who was standing there with his arms crossed. Tommy smiled brightly and stood next to Nikki.

“Babe, this is my friend Vince! We went to Royal Oak together,” Tommy told him. “Vince this is Nikki. We’re bandmates!”

“And boyfriends,” Nikki growled, sizing Vince up.

“Vince sings,” Tommy told Nikki. “You still in that cover band?”

“Rock Candy? Nah man. I was too good and they knew it. I’m solo right now,” Vince told him proudly. Tommy looked at Nikki, his eyes shining and he looked so damn happy.

“There’s our singer,” Tommy told him. “It’s perfect!”

“Never even heard him,” Nikki shook his head.

“I have,” Mick stepped up. “Rock Candy opened for one of my bands. He’s got a pretty good set of pipes.”

“Thanks...old man?” Vince asked, causing Mick to glare at him.

“Come on, give him a shot. Please?” Tommy asked.

“Fine.” Nikki sighed. “I’ll give you the address. Come over and jam with us.”

“Awesome!” Vince smirked. Tommy gave him a high five. Mick looked over at Nikki, who was watching the interaction between the two friends. “You guys any good?”

“Dude, we’re fucking amazing!” Tommy smiled. “You’ll love it!”

“Hey, it’s karaoke night,” Vince told them. “And I’ll be up here any minute.” That’s when Vince’s name was called. “Wish me luck T.” He winked at the drummer and headed towards the stage. Nikki crossed his arms over his chest.

“I hate that guy,” Nikki mumbled.

“He’s awesome Nik. Trust me,” Tommy smiled at the bassist before watching Vince get ready. He took the mic, and Nikki half expected some Top 40 pop. But instead, Aerosmith’s Dream On started to play, and man, did Vince do it some justice.

“Not bad,” Mick nodded. “What do you think Sixx?”

“I still hate him...but we can give him a try,” Nikki sighed. Nikki leaned over the bar to snag a pen and napkin, writing down the address that Vince would need to come to. He handed it over to Mick. “Will you give it to him?”

“Me? Why can’t you?” Mick grumbled, snatching the napkin from Nikki.

“We’re leaving. Have a thing to do,” Nikki motioned to him and Tommy. “See you tomorrow Mick.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He waved them off. Nikki took Tommy’s hand and pulled him out of the bar. Vince made his way over to Mick, looking around for Tommy and Nikki.

“Hey, where’d they go?” Vince asked.

“To screw like rabbits,” Mick groaned. He looked over at Vince and handed him the napkin before taking his leave. Vince looked down at the napkin, then at the door the band had left out of.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme @marvelismylifffe @mrslogansixxpixx

Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic-deacti @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @deacyduck @scarecrowmax @major-tom-is-a-fucking-junkie @anyasthoughts @bandaids-not-groupies @ilovetomkeiferslips @kaitieskidmore1 @useyourillusion @xpoisonousrosesx @slash-me-up @hauntedapricoteggsclam

#royals #motley crue #tommy lee #nikki sixx #tommy lee x nikki sixx #nikki sixx x tommy lee #fanfiction

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glasyasbutch · 4 years

Text

Based on this post.

im gonna do what rebekah did and discuss the potential of oc /oc ships. However i have 10 of them on this blog and i will not be doing this 45 times so im limiting myself to active ocs only, which puts me at 16, which is still a lot but this blog is for me and im a slut for my own characters. (I tried to do it in the tags but tumblr cut me off cause its lesbophobic.) lets get crackin.

gildy/anyone: no. thats grandma. now this isn't to say that i won't ship gildy with anyone; i have before and will again; but it's got to be someone her own age which no other oc is close to (rip to that one npc who made magic ceramics in her first campaign that i was tryna date before the campaign fell apart) Verdict: No Cradle Robbing

craving/tov: oh GOD it would go so bad . they both hate themselves so much and manifest it as a brusque aggressiveness they'd fucking attack each other within hours. even a one night stand might be pushing the limits of their patience. Verdict: Do Not Recommend

craving/ezra: i would LOVE to watch these two sit down and talk about philosophy; because they have genuinely the exact opposite takes on life. they both got dunked on and had someone important taken from them at a young age and craving said FUCK IT im gonna be mean since the world hates me and ezra said FUCK IT im gonna be nice and hope the world loves me back eventually. and it would be so fucking interesting to see them try and convince the other why they're right. however. should not date. Verdict: Bad Romantic Material

craving/nissy: this would go literally the exact same way as nissy and zier. like the ExACT same way. they'd find each other attractive at first; make it a few weeks or something; the sexiness would wear off and they'd find each other insufferable but Not want to break up because they're stubborn and also getting something out of dating the other one. (craving likes that nissy's rich and also his cool shadow guy; nissy likes that craving's all about 'fuck the system' and also maybe a teensy little bit is into the idea of getting a glasya pact too). if they were to meet nakoria in this universe they also would both fuck her and then not tell the other about it. Verdict: Hilarious But Unsustainable.

craving/ebbie: i literally can't even conceptualize this. i c. i can't. i think ebbie would be genuinely terrified of craving. Verdict: No.

craving/roona: Ohhhhhhhh YES baby. mischief squad in the fucking HOUSE. they would get along absolutely fantastically i think. No impulse control, so many crimes! neither of them would really be ones to try and make it work long term but they'd have a fucking AMAZING couple months together and part on good terms. Plus craving has a thing for short girls Verdict: Good Short Term Ship.

tov/ezra: other people would ship them because they have such similar vibes. but i dont think either of them necessarily would want to date for exactly that reason. now you might say but didnt tov fall in love with savra because they have similar backstories? yes BUT they're at very different points in their recovery. ezra and tov are too close. come back to it once both their campaigns are over and they might make a very sweet couple. Verdict: Slow Burn 250k Words

tov/nissy: i feel like tov would take one look at nissy and kind of just. leave. nissy would be into tov tho. he likes the rugged bad boy vibes. he'd think he was mysterious and handsome. and we know he seems to have a thing for sorcerers. Verdict: One Sided Crush

tov/ebbie: they'd get along Really well but it'd be more of a mentor/mentee dynamic. they both like to build things and want to find simple softness in the world but don't trust that they can have it. ebbie has a much more excited and babbly demeanor bc he's a Loud Anxious and tov is much more laid back and calmer because he’s a Quiet Anxious. tov would see him as a kid that’s probably gonna turn out ok, but i dont know if he’d really be able to tell that ebbie’s got some fucked up in there. ebbie would be way better at seeing through tov’s walls, and would follow him around almost like a lost dog bc tov like. Actually Gets Him and he wants to learn as much as he can and you know what if there’s a baby crush there, there’s a baby crush there. Verdict: I Hate To Say It But This One’s A Notice Me Senpai

tov/roona: roona would call tov a narc within 30 seconds of meeting him and any Possible feelings on his end would die instantly. Roona would be far more into teasing him than into him. It’d be a cute dynamic where they act like they can’t stand each other and insist that they’re not even friends but like when it comes down to it, they have a fairly good time together and will defend each other against anyone else trying to fuck with them. Bonus Points for them both being super gullible. Verdict: Only I Get To Be Mean To Them

ezra/nissy: on paper, they’re both like trying to be heroic good guys and struggling a little bit, so they should get along. But like in practice. Oh my god. they couldn’t fucking STAND each other but they’d have to because they’re trying to do the same things more or less and like, Ezra is trying SO HARD to find selflessness in Nissy and Nissy is trying SO HARD to make Ezra care literally At All about himself, and anyone who interacts with them trying to adventure is kinda just like uh ...... you know i’ll just wait while you two work this out. Verdict: Buddy Cop Dynamic

ezra/ebbie: i really don’t have strong feelings about this one like, i think they’d get along fine. they’re both just kinda dudes trying to do good and they’d vibe with each other but they’re not quite as similar as ebbie and tov to have any kind of strong dynamic. it’s like when two bus drivers wave at each other while passing in the street and its like YAHOO for one second and then they’ve passed each other. Verdict: If You’re Into Bland Ships To Self Project On

ezra/roona: very good friendship dynamic here. ezra knows that there’s good in roona and is content to wait with her while it worms its way out, and roona is glad to have someone to check her and occasionally get talked into doing some stupid shit. ezra gets a new baby sister, roona gets a second vinny. Verdict: It’s Familiar But Not Too Familiar

nissy/ebbie: ajskdfjsdjfisdjfsakfdjfdsakljfisaodf sadfkdsajfasdjfasfsdfjsiof hsadfjsdfsahfsdfjsdoifhsdf Verdict: Hhsdfkjasdhiuf

ebbie/roona: so. ebbie has had to deal with an unstable 11 year old before, and keep her out of trouble, and roona has had a vinny to pull her out of bad situations before, so they like. Half understand the dynamic between them. Ebbie’s too much of a pushover though, or Roona’s too little of one, and so instead of like being a voice of reason that actually stops the bad ideas ebbie’s more just getting dragged into situation after situation that he is NOT comfortable and having to smooth everything over when all’s said and done. and like, they still enjoy each other’s company when they’re not in deep shit. they both lean pretty heavily towards same gender rather than not, so like they probably wouldn’t be into each other, but there’s a slight chance. Verdict: Disney Channel Original Movie Protagonist + Scared Best Friend Dynamic

nissy/roona: you’d think it’d go badly, and by all accounts it should, but it doesn’t. nissy loves how spontaneous and wild roona is and loves the freer side of him that it brings out, and roona likes nissy’s careful intelligence that can be equally well applied to proper societal actions and also stupid pranks. low wis gang gets each other’s impulsiveness and doesn’t judge when things go wrong, but they’re always by each other’s sides to help get the other out of a pickle. they both stick out like sore thumbs in a crowd and don’t mind bouncing around from place to place because home isn’t really somewhere they want to head back to, but it’s alright, because they have consistency in each other. god fucking damn it i’m actually into this. Verdict: Bastards In Love

#craving #tov #gildy #ezra #nissy #ebbie #roona #long post

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ladyshandioftheendless · 5 years

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~KISS AU writings 8~

THIS ONE HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING!! There’s apparently been a lot of anticipation for it too so here we go!!

~Shandi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~EXOTIC DANCER AU~

Featured Pairing: Bruce Kulick/Paul Stanley

Special Guests: Gene Simmons, Eric Carr, Ace Frehley, Peter Criss, Vinnie Vincent

Summary: Bruce’s friends take him to a gentleman’s club for his birthday. He falls hard for one of the dancers..and things go off the rails~ (told from Bruce’s POV)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SURPRISE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRUCE!!

I laugh as I’m showered with confetti as soon as I come through my door. Eric comes up and straps a party hat to my head. This was totally unexpected! I bet they’d been planning this for weeks! They guide me to my kitchen where there’s a huge pizza and a beautiful birthday cake waiting on the table. The living room is decorated with balloons, streamers, colorful plates and napkins. I can’t believe they did all of this for me! I’m not going to cry!

Ace goes into my fridge and pulls out a big case of beer. “Can’t have a party without the party favors!” he said with his usual maniacal cackle. Gene shakes his head. “Just go easy on those cause we’ve got plans later. And if you get drunk I’m not taking you.” Plans? What’s he got in mind? Ace whines but eventually he agrees. These plans must be pretty damn great if it gets Ace to not drown himself in booze. I worry about him sometimes.. Eric distracts me by patting my back. “Cmon, birthday boy let’s get this party started!”

We carry everything into the living room and set it all on the coffee table. Peter goes over to my tv to put in a movie. “I brought ‘the Godfather.’ It’s a great movie, you’re gonna love it!” Ohhhh, Peter and his love for gangster movies~ It’s a nice sentiment but I’m pretty sure nobody will pay attention except for me and him..and Eric. Cause he’s a nice guy like that~ Fortunately I was wrong. We all sat with our beers (Gene with his soda), and pizza with our eyes glued to the screen. I’d heard of this movie but I’d never actually seen it before. It was really good! Nothing gave Peter more joy than watching someone else enjoy the movies he enjoyed~ After the movie was over Eric went into the kitchen to grab a knife and candles. “It’s cake time!” After the candles were placed Ace took out his lighter to light them. They sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me loudly and obnoxiously..just like I expected. Bunch of idiots. But they’re my idiots~ I blow out all the candles in one breath and they applaud. Eric hands me the knife. “Birthday boy gets the first piece!” I can’t wait to dig into it. It’s all chocolate. I can smell it..and it’s wonderful~ I cut out five pieces and put them on our plates. We spend the next couple of hours enjoying our cake and joking with each other. This has been the best birthday I’ve had in years~

Gene looks at his watch and grins. “Alright, gentlemen it’s time to go~ We gotta get there before all the good seats are gone.” Ace is already up on his feet and ready to go which startles the hell out of me. “About damn time! Lead the way, Genie!” Gene sighed. “Change first. We brought extra clothes for a reason.” I blink. When he sees my confusion Gene pats my shoulder. “It’s a very nice place..so we have to dress nice. I suggest a suit jacket and slacks.” Sounds fancy. And expensive. Also the fact that Gene is perfectly fine with spending that much money on me is not helping my case for not trying to cry. “O-okay. I’ll find something to change into.” I go to my room while the others take turns changing in the bathroom. Going through my closet I find the gray suit I wore to my brother’s wedding. This is perfect! Hoping it still fits I try it on. To my absolute relief it does. Taking off the jacket I take out a nice white button up shirt. I thought about wearing a tie but I decide against it. I don’t think we need to go that formal. Once we’re all done dressing we gather in the front hall. Gene picks up his keys. “We can all go in my car. I’ve got room for everyone. Birthday boy has shotgun~” I feel so special~ With a smile I let everyone out the door and lock up. Looks like it’s going to be a pretty interesting night~

When we reach our destination I see a long line of people waiting to get into some kind of club. “Is that where we were going? There’s no way we’re getting in there!” Gene parked the car and turned off the engine. “Relax, Bruce. I told you I’ve got it covered. Trust me~” When he says things like that I can’t bring myself to question him. We all get out and head straight for the entrance. Once the bouncers spot us I start getting nervous. They look like they’re ready to beat the hell out of all of us. Calm as ever Gene just takes out his wallet, opens it up and shows it to them. “Good evening. We have a reservation.” One of the bouncers narrows his eyes and looks closer, makes an expression of recognition and pulls the door open. “Good evening, Mr. Simmons.” he says. “Gentlemen, welcome to the Firehouse.” Ace was cracking up and smacking Gene on the back. “They know you by name, Genie? How many times have ya been here~?” Gene just reached back to put his wallet away. “If you really must know I just happen to have a VIP membership to this place. With it I can pretty much get anyone I bring with me in here for free so I figured why not~?” I’m just at a loss for words. Not to mention relieved that he actually didn’t have to spend ridiculous amounts of money to get us in. A high class place like this cannot be cheap. “I..I dunno what to say, Gene..except thank you~” I can tell Peter’s already taking a liking to his surroundings. I’m guessing this is his kind of place~ Eric looked a bit nervous but tried to play it off. I think as long as we stay with him he won’t get too overwhelmed.

Gene guides us to the main lounge. The stage was lined with neon lights shaped to look like fire. The dance pole was of course made to look like one you’d see at a firehouse. Clever~ When we take our seats a very good-looking man comes over dressed in a skimpy gold fireman’s costume. “Good evening, gentlemen~ I’m Vinnie and I’ll be your server tonight~ Can I get you anything~?”

“How about a tall glass of you, baby~?” Ace said, leaning back in his chair and cackling with Peter joining him. Those two, I swear~ Whenever they get together craziness follows. Vinnie just took it all in stride. I’m sure he’s heard those kinds of comments before. Many times. “I’ve got the time if you’ve got the money, handsome~” Ace’s eyes went wide. He definitely wasn’t expecting that response~ “Why don’t you tell me what you’re worth~?” We all turn to stare at him, except Peter who’s still laughing his ass off. “What? Heeey..Brucie shouldn’t be the only one gettin’ the special treatment~” Vinnie was clearly amused at Ace’s eagerness. “Well..let me at least take your drink orders first before we get down to business~” We all order drinks, except Gene who asks for water. “Be right back~” Vinnie turned on his gold stiletto heels and walked off towards the bar. “Do you actually have the money, Ace?” Gene asked, leaning forward. “The ‘company’ here isn’t cheap you know. Some of these beauties cost up to $10,000 for a night.” My jaw drops. “Seriously?! I wouldn’t mind having some fun either but not if it’s going to bankrupt me!” Ace just waved us off. “Will you relax, Genie? I got it covered! That Vinnie’s lookin’ mighty fine and I want a piece of that tonight~”

A few minutes later Vinnie comes back with our drinks and sets them on our table before going over to Ace. “So what would you like~? It’s $1,000 if you want a private dance and $5,000 if you want my company for the night~” Ace is grinning from ear to ear as he gets up and wraps his arm around Vinnie’s shoulders. “Think I’m gonna go with option B, sweet thing~ Let’s go have some fun, hah~?” I can’t believe he’s doing this! Neither can Eric. We both just gawk at them as they leave. Peter on the other hand is beside himself. “Knock ‘im dead!” he shouts, waving until they’re out of sight. Gene picks up his glass and takes a sip. “I guess he’s finding his own way home tonight.” Before I can even fathom what the hell just happened the lights went out. The flames around the stage glowed brighter and a spotlight shined down on the dance pole. Looked like the show was finally starting! As soon as the music began everybody was clapping and scrambling to get closer to the stage. Apparently this dancer was very popular. I recognize the song right away and I have myself a little laugh. At least now I’m familiar with one other person who actually liked Queen’s Hot Space album~ The dancer sashayed down the dimly lit part of the stage to the song’s intro. Guys were attempting to lean over to get a closer look but the ‘flames’ were a pretty damn sufficient deterrent.

Body Language

Grabbing the pole the dancer pulled himself into the spotlight and hooked his leg around the pole, swaying his hips back and forth to the rhythm. The crowd was going wild and now I could see why. Holy shit, that dancer was sexy! He sparkled from head to toe in a rhinestone studded black bodysuit (with a large majority of those rhinestones covering his crotch) cut incredibly low in the front to reveal his entire torso, complete with a black leather collar and belt, studded with rhinestones that shaped stars. He had thick, curly hair the went down his back and bangs that framed his face just perfectly. A face that was covered in white makeup with a black star over his right eye and bright red lips. Wow..I don’t think I’ve ever seen an exotic dancer go that far with their makeup. But it was fascinating and impossible for me to take my eyes away.

Give me your body

Just give me your body

He slowly spun around the pole a few times, I think just to get a better look at his audience, who were already clamoring for his attention and holding out money in hopes that he’d take it from them. It was quite a spectacle. He ignored them of course, just to tease them further. I could see the smirk on his face as he pulled himself to the pole again and started grinding his pelvis against it.

Give me your body

Don’t talk

Body Language

He moved up and down the pole with his legs spread apart, gyrating his hips while his hair flew about with every movement of his head. Damn, it was hot. Glancing around at the others I could see that they were just as mesmerized. I never thought anyone could command that much attention on a pole without even removing a single piece of clothing.

Body Language

He threw his head back, and he looked so damn good with his lips parted like that. Like he was giving himself the ultimate pleasure.

You got red lips

Damn right he did~ He turned his head to look out at the crowd, tracing his upper lip with his tongue.

Snakes in your eyes

He leaned his head forward and threw it back again, making his curls fly everywhere.

Long legs

Great thighs

He grabbed the pole with both hands and raised his leg high in the air. Only then did I notice he was wearing rhinestone studded platform heeled boots. How is he even doing that while wearing those?! They must weigh a ton!

You’ve got the cutest ass I’ve ever seen

Knock me down for a six any time

He turned his back to the crowd and swayed his hips again, showing off his beautiful ass to that hungry crowd. Oh, they were riled up now. Too bad they could look but they couldn’t touch.

Look at me, I got a case of Body Language

Look at me, I got a case of Body Language..

The song was nowhere near over, but it began to fade out. What a cruel punishment. Give them a taste of what they want then cut them off and leave them begging for more. An excellent strategy to get them to pay more money. The dancer took the time to collect the money they desperately wanted to give him. They placed bills in his belt, in his boots, and if they were really lucky he’d lean down and they’d place bills inside of his suit. God, I wish I could give him money right now..cause he sure as hell earned it. As he moved off the stage the same way he came in, the entire place erupted in applause, us included. A voice suddenly blasted from the speakers.

Alright, Firehouse!! Show your love for StarChild!!

So that’s what he’s called. Perfect name~ Since the show was over I figured we would all be leaving so I get up from my chair. Gene grabs my hand to stop me. “Hang on, Bruce..you’re not going anywhere just yet. You have a date with that dancer~” Wait. WHAT? I must’ve been hearing things! “I’m..what..?” Gene smiles and I can hear Peter and Eric snickering behind me. “That’s right~ A special little birthday gift from us to you~” I’m frozen. I can’t think. I can barely breathe. My brain is still trying to process what Gene has just told me.

I am going to be spending the night with StarChild.

To be Continued!!

#ALRIGHT HERE IT COMES #I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING BUT LET'S GO #KISS AU writings #Exotic StarChild~#set in 1990 #they're all bros #cause all they need is love #love is all they need #GONNA BE A LONG ONE #I DID NOT GO TO BED UNTIL I FINISHED THIS #Shandi's drabbles

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gawaine · 7 years

Text

Code Blue - Chapter 11 - Incoherent Review

I am so excited for this…okay here I go!!!

(Mehak’s CB review, including incoherency, mad theories and other things that made me smile)

Okay wow, even this title has be buzzed.. Nothing..But the Truth? DRAMAAAA OKAY THROWBACK TO THE TAXI SCENE BECAUSE YASSSSSSSSS think about it Mary, think about it…. i’m living for this internal thoughts thing that mary and adam are doing LMAO shelby with the thwacking toby and adam 5ever L O L VINNY “DID THEY JUST HI-FIVE OR AM I LOSING MY SHIT” I AM VINNY i am so giggly right now..this mary x adam scene…ADAM WANTS TO CHECK OUT HER BAHOOBIES BUT IS SCARED FOR HIS LIFE HAHA I have been waiting for this Sarah x VInny x Mary time for so long…THE TRIFECTA eye sexing lmao OH SHIT

RICHARD IS THERE WTF BETRAYAL BY SANNY noooo, i thought this Richard apology was going to go way better, I was excited to have him back on Team Yay :( mary running and crying is hurting me in the aorta i am sad like kajol when she couldn’t go to europe with her friends we are going to call the chicago incident PPP - Potential Pizza Pappi (pappi means kiss in punjabi for my fellow non-desis) mary’s internal struggle with recognizing adam as a real person is amazing you’re amazing okay so, are the intern exams before or after the potential wedding in Sydney? and what chapter are we anticipating the wedding because i have to go iron my salwar kameez and get matching bangles irreversible like liver disease (nods and throws up medical nerd gang sign at you) CALL ADAM, MARY. PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE AND CALL YOUR CUTE AND DORKY FRIEND/FIANCE MARY AND SHELBY OUTBURST DRAMA YASSSS I AM LIVING NO i did not want her to tell shelby it was arranged!!! She could have just said that she meant “proposal” instead of agreement nooo plz dont let this add tension between Mary and Adam unless this is potential build up drama for their big outburst fight where Tilly comes up….I am still waiting for that… adam being so excited about chicago gives me the warm and fuzzies LOL I AM DYING SHELBY THINKS ADAM COULDNT GET IT ON L O L DEAD HAHAHAH oh god i love this gap between brown girl romance and white girl romance lmao the culture gap… ANTICLIMACTIC AS FUCK ok nope did not want to know about nadia and adam and the supply closet but im kinda loving shelby here? like she hadnt grown on me yet but this is fantastic hmm mary and shelby potential friendship could be interesting speaking of shelby, when are we gonna get more shelby x Toby because I SHIP IT actually, i feel like we haven’t seen toby in a while ohmygosh please dont kill anyone plz esp toby ADAM WALKED IN WHAT omg aw adam being curious jealous mary my poor lil baby ily STAY IN YOUR BUBBLE HAHAHAHAH tsk tsk dirty adam ughhh tilly kinda done with her right now, she really needs to get her shit together and also…..kinda move out??? i see bits of you in mary’s internal monologue and i love it THE COVER PHOTO LOL “fuck you shelby” faaaave adam and the toaster my lil cutie oh dr brett is bi? I missed that grown man adam…my little prince ily BOOOM mary rejected adams cheek kiss (insert sound of my heart crashing and breaking) the ONE CURL omg yess confined spaces ( wiggles eyebrows) i just had a pang of panic….what if they get into a car crash?? Please no i love this car scene adam using Sarah adn Vinny’s first names mean the world to me Mary was angry at the question earlier but she just likes him??? /tears lmao mary just blurting that OH MY GOD ADAM “he would live to regret this he knew” OMG DYING lol LEAH AND ADAMS REACTIONS WHEN MARY ACCIDENTALLY SAID SHE CANT WAIT THAT LONG FOR THE WEDDING I AM BOTH OF THEM DADDY AHAHA is mary closer to her mum or dad? does adam have siblings, i forgot ugh the fathers…i dont love the idea of two separate daysssss australia should be the main wedding and the reception afterwards in new york…. DO WHAT ADAM AND MARY WANT hmmmm i mean…i guess it makes sense…. but honeymoon after the new york ceremony or the australia one (serious question but still wiggles eyebrows) INTERNET TROLL OF A HUMAN…. sign me up lol the mother-in-law drama begins praying 4 mary leah adn mary tag teaming with these questions, yasssss poor adam tho NADIA NUH UH BACK TF UPPPPPP THIS DINNER SCENE NADIA VS MARY ADAM CHASE AFTER HER YOU FOOL lol they all look to leah if they make this into a movie, can you ask karan johar to cast me as leah ( or sarah) kind of smirking that adams mom was embarrassed by the nadia thing LEAH IS MY FAVE I DONT THINK ASSKICKING IS SILLY LOL <3 ugh Tilly dont distract mary, if something happens to her while driving i will cry oh than k god it was SHelby i did not want to see the nadia showdown right now i am not prepared oh shelby, with the blunt advice NO MARY DONT CRY BBY I LOVE YOU girl power moment ftw oka yass shelby fix up marys emotions and teach her how to wing her eyeliners so she can be a sexy lifesaverrr THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE I LOVE YOU YOU ALWAYS MAKE MY BIRTHDAY SO SPECIAL AND I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE A SISTER LIKE YOU EVERYONE, HANNAH IS AN ANGEL, PLEASE REMEMBER THIS PS - plz help me with my theories k thx bye

Intern exams are after Sydney! And haha, I’ll warn you prior to the wedding ;)

The white girl romance vs brown girl romance omfg that’s so well phrased... Also, why do you always assume I’ll kill my characters?!

Mary’s probably closer to her Dad... And you’ll have to see about the honeymoon ;) nah, I’m kidding, when Adam suggested Australia last chapter, he said they could honeymoon there!

Leah is A Homegirl this chapter

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT, I’M ALL GOOFY AND HAPPY, YAAAAAY :D

#mehak #cb11 #submission

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samanthasroberts · 6 years

Text

The Best Bachelor in Paradise Recap You’ll Ever Read: Week 2

Last night in Paradise we finally said goodbye and fuck you to Chad, got to see round 2 of Nick Viall vs. Josh Murray drama, and my ED Evan gaydar scale practically exploded after his professions of “love” for Carly. This show is so unscriptedly (not a word? Idc) amazing that ‘paradise’ actually refers to how I feel sitting on my couch watching these losers talk mad shit about each other. So WTF went down last night?

The Chad Breakdown Continues

Chad is definitely still wasted from last night, and Chris Harrison is def just pissed he has to interrupt his robe-lounging to deal with this. “It’s worth it for the **ratings**” – Probably a post-it on Chris Harrison’s mini bar.

Chris Harrison:Where are you going??? Chad: I dont know, Tijuana or something.

Then Leah comes and I’m pretty sure all of America/Bachelor Nation is like, Leah who?

….mmm nope.

Of COURSE she comes on the show and is looking for Chad. Could it BE any more staged???

– Leah talking about Chad / me talking about my dog

said no one ever, until Leah

Okay just had a flashback to Leah throwing Lauren B under the bus. Classy chick! However she does look like Mena Suvari in American Beauty when she cries.

Nick / Leah / Amanda Triangle

Leah gives up on the Chad situation and moves onto her next target, slick Nick.

Nick:– Nick prior to running a controlled empirical study on Leah.

Nick: Thanks for asking me on this date Leah: Thanks for coming …Can you say chemistry??

Leah:– that’s what she said.

Leah:I’m very confident when I say I think I have a lot of qualities that you’re looking for Nick:I really appreciate what you’re saying. I actually think I’m leaning towards Amanda k thx bai.

Nick decides he’s just not that into Leah (probably either her lip injections or her fragrance of desperation, tbd) and moves onto Amanda, mother of 2.

Nick: I love fires and sitting near them Amanda: I love lamp

“No child left behind” – Not Amanda’s parenting philosophy.

Carly and Evan

Evan gets a date card and asks Carly and I literally don’t think I’ve ever seen someone want to cry more after getting a date.

– Evan sounds like the 40 year old virgin describing boobs like bags of sand.

“Evan does give me erectile dysfunction” – An amazing quote that I can’t believe we didn’t think of first

Carly: My brother told me I have to stop dating feminine men…like my first boyfriend now has a boyfriend. And now this again. – Looks like somebody’s got a type!

Carly and Evan have completely opposite reactions to the jabanero kiss:

Evan: My mouth is on fire and I don’t know if it’s the pepper or from kissing Carly.

Carly: I vommitted…and it’s not just from the pepper.

Josh Murray vs. Nick

So before we get into the ancient epic battle between Josh and Nick (more epic than the Sunni-Shiite conflict I can assure you), we feel it’s our duty to reveal what Andi Dorfman wrote about him in her amazing/scandalous tell-all. Basically, according to her (but also like, def true), he was seriously emotionally abusive towards her in all our favorite ways – accusing her of cheating, not letting her spend time with her besties, stalking her social media for signs of other guys, having humil screaming matches in public…you really have to read it to get the full effect. (We’re not even getting paid to say that!!)

Josh on Andi: We were just like, very different in a lot of ways. – He is obviously very pissed about this book.

The Bachelor producers LOVE fucking with Nick Viall’s emotions. Third time still not a charm.

Amanda should’ve stayed with Nick.

Other Miscellanous Lameness

– Daniel

Lace was sadly very uninteresting last night except her eyelash extensions, which are malfunctioning.

Emily’s idea of sexy small talk is unreal:

Emily: What are you thinking about? Jared: Paradise…

Jared is obviously conflicted about hooking up with Emily, like he’s not into her clearly but he doesn’t want to get kicked off. It’s muy interesante how whenever the guys have the roses the girls whore themselves out, and when the girls have the roses the guys pretend to have feelings. Feminist AF.

Week Two Night Two

Second week of paradise, second night of the week that I have to watch the same show for reasons unknown.

This episode starts with Josh and Amanda incessantly making out in front of everyone, while making meerkat noises.

Nick is obviously displeased so he continues to workout on the beach while taking breaks to shed a tear.

Daniel is unhappy because theres a new guy in Paradise who is about to take his love interest awayChristian. I literally do not remember him but apparently Sarah is super into the guy. All we know is that hes really fucking smiley… like hes about to pull out Jamaican steel drums and serenade everyone on the beach.

Daniel yeah or just Canadian.

Meanwhile ED Evan cant shut the fuck up about his date with Carly. Vinny: Wow kissed for a minute and 46 seconds. Evan: 41 seconds! It was like butterfly explosions.

Carly has the talk with Evan where she breaks up with him even though all they did was go on one awful date together. If Carly were a guy she would like never talk to him, ignore him, and then hook up with someone else in front of him.

Now that Evan is my ex-boyfriend Carly.

Enter new guy Brendan. Even Chris Harrison doesnt know who Brendan is (even though Chris Harrison definitely knows who he is and that scene was literally more scripted than a fight on ). Carly falls in love at first sight but doesnt realize that Brendan is dumber than anyone who has ever been on this television show. Brendan picks Haley (or Emily?) on his date.

This time Im doing a bad job in paradise. Like Last time I did a really bad job in paradise but this time Im doing like a worse job. Carly

Before her sisters date Emily drinks a beer and gets wasted which was THE BEST part of this entire episode.

My best friend is going on a date and like now that shes engaged Im so happy. I didnt mean to get like this!! Someone please give her more alcohol.

Brendan and Haleys date was the most absurd thing Ive ever seen. I want to find a woman who wants to give 110% HE IS Brendan Frasier in .

Why would Brendan even notice that the twins switched on him? I could barely tell the difference? But also like, he is giving this like loving we have a connection speech that I promise he would have given to any girl he would have picked. (But apparently not Carly).

Back at the house, because Daniel was supes jealous of Sarah and Christians new connection he makes a little mini date on a daybed for them.

Daniel: I’m an eagle and this eagle knows what he wants.

Sarah: I Just want to be appreciated for who I am and respect who I am. Daniel: Samesies. I hate it when people don’t respect me. Flashback to Daniel one episode ago: I was looking for some good looking girls so far I’m not impressed. Nothing I’d touch, maybe the one blonde girl if I had a couple of drinks in me. So far these are poodles and yorkies and washed up street dogs. I’d have to be white girl wasted to fuck them.

Sarah: DAMN DANIEL!

Sarah refers to Daniel as the goofy one who is weird and kinda dumb but makes her laugh. Can we all agree that Daniel IS Canadian Joey Tribbiani?

Daniel, Romance Expert.

PS Why are all the couples, the self proclaimed sexy six, all making out together in one bed and not like, alone? What is this, the junior prom limo!?

Then the best thing to ever happen on this show happens. Evan self implodes.

The producers first convince him not to leave. Then they somehow manipulate him into thinking that the girl he has the best chance with is Amanda, yes, the one Josh is about to engulf.

Either I was like really high or this was SOOOO funny but watching Evan write a sad handwritten note to himself was probably the best television of life.

Then he pumps himself up by calling himself by his full name. YOURE FRICKIN EVAN BASS .. however I am pretty sure he meant it in the sense that like, he is like related to Chuck Bass and thats what makes him cool. Yes I fully believe Evan watches .

Then the producers convince him to walk up to Amanda and Josh while theyre hooking up to ask Amanda out. Whether this was scripted or not, this was good. The other reason for him doing this was his chance to get closer to Josh. Think about it, Chad was pretty hot and Evan loved stirring the pot with him on . Now he wants to get steamy with Josh. I can see that exciting little Evan. Aka Ogie from the movie (obscure but like, so accurate).

Don’t do it Evan, this will end poorly!! – all of America.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2),a.prevBody{display:none;}

Source: http://allofbeer.com/the-best-bachelor-in-paradise-recap-youll-ever-read-week-2/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/09/30/the-best-bachelor-in-paradise-recap-youll-ever-read-week-2/

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adambstingus · 6 years

Text

The Best Bachelor in Paradise Recap You’ll Ever Read: Week 2

The Chad Breakdown Continues

Chris Harrison:Where are you going??? Chad: I dont know, Tijuana or something.

Then Leah comes and I’m pretty sure all of America/Bachelor Nation is like, Leah who?

….mmm nope.

Of COURSE she comes on the show and is looking for Chad. Could it BE any more staged???

– Leah talking about Chad / me talking about my dog

said no one ever, until Leah

Okay just had a flashback to Leah throwing Lauren B under the bus. Classy chick! However she does look like Mena Suvari in American Beauty when she cries.

Nick / Leah / Amanda Triangle

Leah gives up on the Chad situation and moves onto her next target, slick Nick.

Nick:– Nick prior to running a controlled empirical study on Leah.

Nick: Thanks for asking me on this date Leah: Thanks for coming …Can you say chemistry??

Leah:– that’s what she said.

Nick decides he’s just not that into Leah (probably either her lip injections or her fragrance of desperation, tbd) and moves onto Amanda, mother of 2.

Nick: I love fires and sitting near them Amanda: I love lamp

“No child left behind” – Not Amanda’s parenting philosophy.

Carly and Evan

Evan gets a date card and asks Carly and I literally don’t think I’ve ever seen someone want to cry more after getting a date.

– Evan sounds like the 40 year old virgin describing boobs like bags of sand.

“Evan does give me erectile dysfunction” – An amazing quote that I can’t believe we didn’t think of first

Carly: My brother told me I have to stop dating feminine men…like my first boyfriend now has a boyfriend. And now this again. – Looks like somebody’s got a type!

Carly and Evan have completely opposite reactions to the jabanero kiss:

Evan: My mouth is on fire and I don’t know if it’s the pepper or from kissing Carly.

Carly: I vommitted…and it’s not just from the pepper.

Josh Murray vs. Nick

Josh on Andi: We were just like, very different in a lot of ways. – He is obviously very pissed about this book.

The Bachelor producers LOVE fucking with Nick Viall’s emotions. Third time still not a charm.

Amanda should’ve stayed with Nick.

Other Miscellanous Lameness

– Daniel

Lace was sadly very uninteresting last night except her eyelash extensions, which are malfunctioning.

Emily’s idea of sexy small talk is unreal:

Emily: What are you thinking about? Jared: Paradise…

Week Two Night Two

Second week of paradise, second night of the week that I have to watch the same show for reasons unknown.

This episode starts with Josh and Amanda incessantly making out in front of everyone, while making meerkat noises.

Nick is obviously displeased so he continues to workout on the beach while taking breaks to shed a tear.

Daniel yeah or just Canadian.

Meanwhile ED Evan cant shut the fuck up about his date with Carly. Vinny: Wow kissed for a minute and 46 seconds. Evan: 41 seconds! It was like butterfly explosions.

Now that Evan is my ex-boyfriend Carly.

This time Im doing a bad job in paradise. Like Last time I did a really bad job in paradise but this time Im doing like a worse job. Carly

Before her sisters date Emily drinks a beer and gets wasted which was THE BEST part of this entire episode.

My best friend is going on a date and like now that shes engaged Im so happy. I didnt mean to get like this!! Someone please give her more alcohol.

Brendan and Haleys date was the most absurd thing Ive ever seen. I want to find a woman who wants to give 110% HE IS Brendan Frasier in .

Back at the house, because Daniel was supes jealous of Sarah and Christians new connection he makes a little mini date on a daybed for them.

Daniel: I’m an eagle and this eagle knows what he wants.

Sarah: DAMN DANIEL!

Sarah refers to Daniel as the goofy one who is weird and kinda dumb but makes her laugh. Can we all agree that Daniel IS Canadian Joey Tribbiani?

Daniel, Romance Expert.

PS Why are all the couples, the self proclaimed sexy six, all making out together in one bed and not like, alone? What is this, the junior prom limo!?

Then the best thing to ever happen on this show happens. Evan self implodes.

The producers first convince him not to leave. Then they somehow manipulate him into thinking that the girl he has the best chance with is Amanda, yes, the one Josh is about to engulf.

Either I was like really high or this was SOOOO funny but watching Evan write a sad handwritten note to himself was probably the best television of life.

Don’t do it Evan, this will end poorly!! – all of America.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2),a.prevBody{display:none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-best-bachelor-in-paradise-recap-youll-ever-read-week-2/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/178602825797

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