#im also gonna mass delete shit off my ao3

[merelydaydreaming]

gonna start posting the few anime fics ive written here maybe

[chloeangelic]

you’re on a website full off mentally ill people lol (and I really don’t mean that in a bad way, but tumblr especially has always been a place for people to be open about mental health and stuff)

People here are always gonna be too intense, too into stuff, too whatever. Some people aren’t able to slip back into a normal mindset after reading a fic and yeah, that’s on them. But as long as they don’t send any hate it’s their business.

You whole post about how Joel can be a mass murder and everyone still loves him but what happens in rendezvous makes him a “bad” person to everyone. Meh. It’s all just fanfiction, it’s really not that deep. Obviously when we’re reading most things from readers perspective it feels shitty and makes Joel look shitty. He’s not gonna be a mass murder in a no outbreak fic so the boundaries are going to be completely different. And personally I would consider what Joel did cheating, not on MC but on Katy, but you’re the author, you decide.

And yeah, people are gonna be mad about angst and especially angst/bad endings. (Again, as long as they don’t send mean/hate asks, I think it’s fine?) you gave enough warnings so its up to them to decide if they want to read it. But some people are never going to stop wanting happy endings and that’s okay too. Life is already shitty enough, why read fanfic about a shitty life lol. And for people reading Joel fanfic, obviously a shitty ending would be for him to be with someone else and not “you”

It would be a completely different story if the “you” is Katy, obviously. And then people would feel shitty at the thought of Joel with current rendezvous MC.

And yeah, you did warn enough. But some people just don’t read or care about warnings. (Like for example, some people on AO3 turn off seeing all the tags so they don’t get spoiled about what happens lol.) then it is of course their own fault. I obviously don’t know what kind of asks you got that were deleted but the ones you posted don’t really seem bad? Katy isn’t actually a real person (besides the person you got the name from) just like Joel isn’t actually a real person so who cares if someone insults them lol

You should probably turn off anon asks if the last chapter is going to piss off everyone. But I also think you knew what was gonna happen when you post a series like that lol

i mean you basically said it yourself - people are responsible for reading the tags and deciding if the content is okay for them. i havent deleted any anons - i might respond slowly, but i do reply to all anons unless theyre completely pointless or im saving them for something like a roundup post

and youre right, its not that deep, which is why i have no issue writing angsty series like rendezvous, cause its all just me playing with barbies on my keyboard at the end of the day. my post about him being a murderer was just my thoughts and observations on the matter as someone who has written about joel "cheating", going MIA, being forgiven etc.

i know people are gonna be pissed about the last part - people would be pissed no matter how it ends, cause there's essentially three camps of readers. i think its fun to see people being engaged and having strong feelings about it, that just means i wrote something engaging and that evokes emotion like i intended

i have no issue with people being "too invested" in this story, having strong feelings about it, but when people have genuine issues with me writing joel choosing someone else, that just the idea of me writing one story like that makes them personally feel like shit, i think like its important for me to say i think its a concerning way of interacting with fanfics. im not making anyones life worse by writing the things i write lmao

not entirely sure what kinda answer you wanted here haha but those are my thoughts on what you said!

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

ok so first off. I’m white so anyone who wants to come tell me to Delete This Post or just get angry @ me in my notes or dms I 100% understand and will take any and all criticism bc this is NOT my space to speak.

....I’ve seen a lot of VERY VALID TAKES around tumblr abt the Massive Juggernaut Of Violent Racist Culture that is ao3 and white fandom (esp Old White Fans) at large. I hade some thoughts, from the white side of things.

first off:

THESE TAKES ARE 1000000% CORRECT.

I, again, as a white person, dont need to stamp my validation on it, but im stating this loudly up front so that hopefully a few ppl might read further:

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I’ve been aware for a long time of phrases like “cancel culture”, “censorship”, “puritanism”, “Fandom Is Free!!!” etc etc etc used by, to be honest, 90% or more of white fans to justify VIOLENTLY RACIST WORK and gaslight, and more often than not threaten, fans of color who speak up. White Women Tears, it’s an old ass trick.

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HOWEVER

and here’s the However:

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The fans who do this, while absolutely racist scum.... had this “argument” handed to them on a silver platter.

by who???

by younger white fans.

because none of these Older White Fan fuckbags or their opinions could have kept the amount of respect, credibility, and loyal puppy-dog followers they have without the new growth of Younger White Fan fuckbags who don’t just go out of their way to equate their NOTP being canon with Actual Racism/ Homphobia/Pedophilia/ ACTUAL HATE CRIMES ON THE LEVEL OF KILLING REAL HUMAN PEOPLE, but ALSO

1) ignoring the role of the CREATORS of bigoted/harmful work and going after fans, who, while absolutely complacent in a fandom by participating in it... did not MAKE it

2) deliberately refuse all attempts by others outside their cults to find common ground

and 3) actively campaign for censorship of huuuuuge swaths of fan content that centers queer themes, kink, or is made by older fans, EXPLICITLY BY EQUATING THIS CONTENT TO ACTUAL PHYSICAL ACTS OF VIOLENCE

....all while having blm banners, ACAB in their bios, rt-ing fundraisers and absolutely not donating to them, donating to joke kickstarters to kill random fans, and not so jokingly calling the cops, fbi and swat teams, and sending death threats, doxxing, attempting (laughable dumb) acts of terror, and arguing for vigilante and STATE BACKED VIOLENCE against those same fans.... who, guess what, are ALSO VERY LIKEY TO BE BIPOC.

I can NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. saying “white fans, as a whole, and ESPECIALLY the ao3-supportive community, are active in maintaining a racist community and defend themselves by crying ‘Censorship Puritans & Death Threats Oh My’” is true. but it ignores the growing community of Im-Not-Racist-I-Have-ACAB-In-My-Bio YOUNGER white fans who are more than happy to hand that argument to the “Olds” ready to use by lumping Deeply Set Systemic Racism in with “My Fav Is OOC In This One Fic :(...”

because two groups of white people who claim to hate each other, are actually, consciously or not, working in perfect tandem to prevent any change to fandom’s racial bigotry.

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Look:

you want to call out the “Olds” for their shit? they all say “Oh LOOK AN ANTI DEATH THREAT CULTIST PURITAN 1984 BIG BROTHER SPOILED BABY!!! ohhhh gonna tell me to Do My Taxes???” and send death threats after u.

want to call out younger whites for Not Exactly Helping? if you’re younger than * insert current Maximum Age Of Being A Good Person here * your post will b co opted by dingbats who argue that the masses of fic killing off bipoc characters in horrific ways is morally and practically the same as a 3 yr age gap between fictional adults...

...and if you’re older it’s “wowwww lmaooo look at this Crusty Old Hag I bet they * do whatever the Bad Thing of the week is * go do ur taaaaxessss arent your 3+ kids hungryyyy while you neglect them to HARASS ME, a MINOR..... oh no mODS HELP HELP IM A POOR WITTLE KID THIS BIG SCAWY ADULT IS ATTACKING MEEEEE”

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TO SUMMARIZE-

OLDER WHITE CREATORS AND COMMUNITIES LIKE AO3 NEED TO BE HELD FULLY ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE RACISM THEY BLATANTLY CHAMPION. BUT THE SAME IS TRUE FOR THE YOUNGER WHITE-DOMINATED FAN SPACES THAT HAPPILY THROW MINORITIES, ESPECIALLY BIPOC, TO THE WOLVES FOR THE SAKE OF ESCALATING A FAKE WAR, OVER FAKE PROBLEMS, WITH THE WHITE FANS FOUR YEARS OLDER THAN THEM.

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I am not going to pretend I know how to solve this. All I can say is that anyone saying “well of COURSE The Olds are Racist they support The Bad Ships(tm)”.... shut the fuck up you’re doing the same shit from a different blog theme.

...And, in my opinion??? Outside of some VERY specific scenarios that make themselves VERY obvious, the combination of Shipping and Race into a singular “Fandom Discourse” is an obviously white supremacist idea that equates real human suffering with cartoons having sex. so like. if I have any advice?

Keep Actual Racial Issues out of shipping wars, and keep shipping wars out of Race Based Criticism. YES this also includes the anti/proship BS too. If you consider a ship so tied to race/bigotry/racial caricature that the two cant be mentioned separately? mayyyybe thats not the best ship to use as ammo for P3d0 accusations and death threats agains That One Community You Dont Like.... unless.

you know.

you never cared about BIPOC fans in the first place and just wanted to sound like a Cool And Right Good Person while you sent gore pics to ppl u think Ship Wrong.

...yeeeesh that was a longer rant than I expected to write...

god, remember when Supernatural AND Voltron killed off their single WOC in the final 3 episodes but it was only ever brought up as, like, SuPpOrTiNg EvIdEnCe in the 4+ yrs of fandom outrage over 1-2 gay couples???? but yeah sure “only The Olds (cough-proshipperpedonastykinkyadultwomen-cough) are nasty stinky uglee racists” 🙃🙃🙃