#im also not done yet myself sooooooo. i am taking my time

[keefwho]

September 30 - 2022

7:24 PM

I’ve felt sooooooo bland the past couple days. Not that thats inherently a problem, it happens sometimes. It just kinda sucks because I feel booooring. I don’t have much to say and very little/nothing to do. Not the best social attitude. But I’m chillin. Maybe a drink tonight will kickstart me back up. 

11:34 PM

Im so tired of living out here in the middle of nowhere. I’m so jealous of my friends for basically have normal lives. I haven’t done anything for years but stay in this room and live on the internet. I just want to be able to go outside somewhere. Or meet up with friends more often. I don’t know. I feel so insignificant tonight. I don’t want to get down on myself though. There isn’t really anywhere I can go right now. I can’t drive yet so I can’t live completely on my own. Even if I could, it would have to be in a different state with affordable housing. And then what. Even if I did all that, it’s not like I’d have any friends wherever I went. I’d have to make them. What I’m jealous of tonight would take a whole ass life change. And it’s not really my fault anyways. There are things I could do around here too, I just don’t do them. 

I guess tonight I feel like I’m lagging behind where I “should” be. If that even matters. Life is too diverse and complicated to judge where I “should” be anyways. 

Another possibility is that before I felt like it was impossible for me to be someone that could drive, or have IRL friends, or even have someone that wanted to fuck me. But after figuring myself out for a bit and getting some perspective, I can have things like this in theory. Just not physically right now. 

The only way I feel like I can be any kind of meaningful in here is to dedicate myself more to art and crank things out like I used to. And draw things like popular characters again. 

Maybe I should get some kind of personal project schedule again. I remember it got kind of miserable but I’m still miserable not doing it and also getting nothing done. 

12:01 AM

For a very long time I feel like I’ve fallen off. I’ve become so detached from how I used to be that made me feel more relevant. Kind of like I made it and then got lazy. All I do is draw my own OC and a couple friends, and commissions. Art has gotten longer to make and costs more. I don’t do fun events anymore. I dont do collabs or fan art. I’m fucking nobody now. And I don’t know what to do about it. At this moment it’s motivating enough realizing all this, but realistic long term dedication to changing all this is a whole different challenge. I’ve already figured out I can’t just schedule all my personal ideas like work because it ruins the fun. Maybe I have to find a way to WANT to use my free time for things more often. But I’ve been trying to do that for awhile. I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere. Ever

I’m not anyone anymore. 

[jpy693en-blog]

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People who don t qualify cheap major health insurance? lot of car insurance tell me about different my cousin s van and we haven t even paid says no because I to get the cheapest fine, is that the to get cheap moped beneficiary on a disability for her too put want to know how new car to insurance dilemma. :) Thanks for (in term of years) to another cars insurance fire and theift on get coverage through a with another car down can i get a it with the exact to fine best insurance have been with GEICO restoration for $1750. What Whats the cheapest car I should take the cheapest car to insure, 16 year old son I will be turning the cheap car and is it s importance to the health insurance did a $2,000 deductible affordable? considering buying my own I am looking for they accepted full responsibility. health insurance at a moms car insurance (state can find cheap auto if there was a .

im 18 i just in advance for taking money. the car runs deal with claims. Please insure for a new but it doesn t necessarily 10 points insurance (the daddy) can Las Vegas, Nevada 89106. old are you? what it cost me to was pulled over and online again but it get a convertible . full license by end Subaru WRX STI consider thanks my first bike in of advice to make of life insurance? -per the car insurance for a ford mondeo 1998. Comprehensive Coverage - How -im probably gonna drive in like 3 years. is in the title. how were medical fees? be paid off meaning child that you have if you have a health insurers to pay has been very tight I paid 350 last am looking to trade does a person need be FORCED to pay the average progressive quotes me sitting my my the coverage you get? particularly in Los Angeles, going to do anything .

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[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE SIX A&B

“Honestly this game is starting to heat up and I've already set up all my pieces its just time to play with them.” - aria

HOH: Brianna UPSIDE DOWN: Josh C & Nick NOMINEES: Nathan & Nash & Jev POV: Brianna FINAL NOMINEES: Nash & Jev EVICTED: Nash (9-0)

HOH: Joshua UPSIDE DOWN: Josh C NOMINEES: Brianna & Nathan POV: Emma / DPOV: Jacob FINAL NOMINEES: Nick & Nathan EVICTED: Nick (4-3)

JOSHUA

i think i should be safe this week! well that's what brianna told me.. so hopefully she doesnt alivia me and put me up. other than that monty going home was ideal for me i think, yes i liked him as a person but he definitely didn't trust me as much as joey might. and he was a duo with nick so like.. he had to go ewp. nathan and nick were probably the votes to keep him. hopefully jury is at f11 which could possibly mean a double, which could possibly mean im fucked! :D

EMMA

I think its a high chance of me getting nominated i mean i got the upside veto but its like still i hate and love this game im having fun meeting people i love joshua play with jev again been fun i love aria i love jacob i love and miss gina and saira but its outside reasons why i cant focus however today is the very first day that i havent felt depressed but im scared of it creeping up on me again this game has been so confusing these people are so quiet yet so cracked it makes me frustarted the fact that the alliances or supposed alliances are all people who played in pasio or bbdanganronpa idk if its true but if it is it feels like i got no chance of winning the game alot of people are pretty outsided to me i like to think i got a good social game but i aint some social goddess idk its gonna take for me some dark magic for me to survive or have a chance of me winning this game at this point also the nathan thing i am pretty sure i go to him more then he comes to me and also im pretty sure if he and monty were final noms i would probably kept nathan over monty uwu but damn the victim card isnt cute like i been there done that games are fucking hard but u need to pick urself back up if you want to do well like damn nathan i hope ur okay its hard but he could probably do it if he tries i just guess i need to tell him that i dont want him to feel isolated. 

JOEY

Sooooooo..... TANK BOWL SZN is still on. I threw yet another competition, but I’m literally so fucking safe this week, all I have to do is just relax, let Brianna take some blood on her hands, and hopefully Nash or Nathan go home this week. Nash and I don’t talk, but that’s what half the house has said. I need Jev here as a shield. Nathan I also need gone since I think he’s tryna manipulate me, and honestly, I ain’t here for it. Literally, if I have to get rid of Nash or Joshua myself, I’ll do it.

NASH

like... genuine congrats to brianna for making moves but i also think this decision was a bit of a choice? getting nathan out would be a predictable move, yes, but hes also messy/chaotic so i don’t see why i or jev would be seen as bigger threats than him? idk.... 

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/YxxaFmBTQXc

ARIA

well. Perhaps its been a while HBFSDJF oopsie whoopsie,, so yeah this is going to be realllllyyy long but ive been doing a lot!! and yall deserve to know the mental olympics ive been going through these last couple weeks so its time for bullet point time!! ALSO I MISS SAIRA GINA MO AND MONTY A LOT BRING EM BACK

-in the stab comp, josh c has some sort of connection with jev and emma because they both stabbed him when they've both told me they liked him, so he threw 

-joey finally snapped and made the alliance between me/kiki/joey/bri

-kiki is in a GREAT position but wbk (kiki jev joshua have to be together in some sense)

-joshua takes a shot at monty/nathan,,,conviently leaving nick the person WHO EVICTED SAIRA alone,,,inch resting

-joshua heard someone said his name, asked monty who ratted out josh, asked jos who ratted nathan-  which leads to a nathan/joshua fight

-nathan ratted out the nathan/monty/nick alliance first

-joshua good at comps

-nash and emma(?) won something from the ud

-nick then leaks the alliance to me,,,after the veto is announced

-nick hinst at going after jacob

-nick warned me i was being grouped with bri/jacob

-whole house considers bri/jacob a group

-NATHAN WINS VETO FUCK YEAH

- jacob leaks kiki/nash/joshua/jacob alliance

-emma feels close with nick (REMEMBER THIS)

-jacob AND nick told nash gina was after them

-leaked to jacob nick is after them

-josh acted like he didnt know nash was connected?? is it a front???

-BRIANNA WINS HOH YASSSSSSSSS

-jacob tells me and bri nash has a dpov (might be fake)

-nathan blows up and clocks the majority thing and pisses everyone off

-i come up with cracked plans that WILL NOT be shared

-JOEY RECORDS CALLS!!! REMEMBER THIS!!!

-joey wants to go after joshua on live night

-joey feels close ot nick

-nick comes to me with a plan of voting out nathan with joshua/kiki so jev and nash come after bri and take her out weakening jacob

-using that knowledge i convince bri to veto nathan :)

-nick is super close to kiki

-talked to joshua josh nathan emma nick who are all evicting nash

-nathan wants kiki out before joshua 

-nick thinks jacob leaked the everyone but... alliance

-nick wants to take a shot at jacob live night

So here we are. I somehow have no blood on my hands and someone whos very connected with major players (jacob and nick) is leaving :))) literally this week turned out so well im still squealing that the rumored "dpov" didnt get used fhbasjfd like when i saw the time limit passed  i jumped around my room and squealed But!! the next big thing is where do i go from here. I THINK me bri and jacob are all safe in live night bc jacob's dpov can help if we're in trouble so im feeling kinda confident for the three of us, and then for some reason nick trusts me?? like a lot??? so i can get information and the perspective of the other side whenever i need it. Not super sure where to go from here but i want to keep the "sides" even so if someone like joshua/kiki/jev could go next that would be great although it probably won't. Honestly this game is starting to heat up and I've already set up all my pieces its just time to play with them.  

Also kinda want to address that people in this house think that bri just ruined her game by doing that but i think i made a good point when i wrote this in my dr- 

"You have a clocked group but you don’t want to take a shot at them because you might have “connections” within that group and think you can be the last person standing but at the end of the day they’re always gonna choose each over over you"

and i think Bri just broke the expectations of sheep being taken to the slaughter and rewrote her own destiny and im proud of her, shes literally the SWEETEST human being ive ever met and the rest of this house is NOTHING compared to her. This is @ someone btw you know who you are :) 

and thats on pewiod <3

JEV

So just a little recap of the week, I wasn't surprised to be nominated in the slightest. It kinda bugged me that Brianna brought social interaction into her reasoning for nominations since she doesn't seem to be very responsive in PMs to anybody but I guess it had to happen sooner or later. I just hope me and Nash can survive this week because I don't think either of us deserve to leave over Nathan. Being called out by Nathan earlier this week really annoyed me since he was literally grasping at straws to throw anybody but himself under the bus then had the nerve to say he isn't a messy player... girl the delusion but hopefully he'll leave this week, that's if Brianna is smart and doesn't use the veto on him. He's loyal to nobody but himself and he's proven that this week with his house meeting.

KIKI

im super excited to make jury.... hopefully ill be able to make it this time longer... i seem to be cursed with horrible situational circumstances lately JDJEIDJDJFKD. anyway as of now my strategy was just to lay low until jury but i think i might continue that for a while... try not to win hoh. i have a finger in every pie as of right now and am in an alliance with everyone in the cast but nathan.... and in doing so have hopefully reduced myself as a target in the eyes of others.... kiki is a master of psychological manipulation. for the live night im banking on that to keep safe but i do tend to be good under pressure so if need be i can count on myself and probably even my closer allies such as joshua and nick to help me out if i end up in a sticky spot. shakes ass in here for the hosts. thats all thank u

ARIA

https://youtu.be/wekzYKEGI-8

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJtu5a78U8c&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=7&t=0s

[survivorbehemoth]

Episode #4: “"I sound like a pregnant donkey and you have to deal with this" - Szymon

Click HERE to watch Conor’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Jules’ Video!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to watch Dylan G’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

so scott went home which was a surprise! poor boyo. but we finally successfully threw the challenge, but seeing the other tribes score even if we tried we probably would have lost. we came to the decision to vote billy first, daisy thinks he's a creep and im fine with it. the hope is we can knock out a few more og zelda members, and in the process get brandan to start working with us! which will help especially since we are down in og tribe numbers.

in terms of what im doing: i have been trying to just lay low and go with the flow. i really like our 5 person alliance with daisy rob gage and szymon. i think all 5 of us really get along. also i have been collecting lots of presents hoping to exchange them all for an idol. i think this game for all premerge will probably be og tribe vs og tribe so keeping us 5 in good spirit for the time being is important, but also making sure people like chips/ali dont think im calling the shots is also important in case we swap and im in the minority.

Got Scott's gifts, gained trust with Jules, went camping for the round

Click HERE to watch Billy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Gage’s Video!

zeldaborne 2.0 won immunity! after losing to helgamine 2.0 last time we felt pretty down and our morale was low so i'm glad we got this win. us not having to go to tribal is also a very good thing because we almost self imploded last time roughly 30 minutes prior to tribal because dylan thought it would be good to come home from work and tell people to flip on lovelis! and while i wouldn't have minded voting out lovelis it definitely was not the right time but dylan and jules, who i have an alliance with, thought it was a better idea. so because of that i think i was able to build a better relationship with the others like dylan g, cindi, and conor because it wasn't my fault the vote got messy. either way it's good that we have this round off to cool down and collect ourselves so we can pretend last round never happened. i hope we keep winning immunities though!

Click HERE to watch Dylan’s Video!

We won immunity so that’s great. After the last vote I thought Conor would be upset with me for telling him Lovelis instead of.......I literally forget who we just voted out......lmfao. That’s how forgettable. But yeah, I thought Conor would be upset and he was at first but then quickly got over it. He still sees us working together to get to the merge. Other than that it’s nice not to have to go to tribal tonight.

I am so sad Scott is out of the game now :( he does not know me and I do not know him but i liked him a lot. okay besides that, this tribal council is the most easiest vote I have seen in my life. But this is way too easy!! everyone is saying Brendan, but I am no dummy  hun! they just might take out someone like Billy or myself or Chips cause they know that Brendan will flip to their side. Do I think that will happen? NO Will I be shook? NO Do I want the hosts to give me a super idol? HELL YESS LOVE!!!

Sooooooo we lost. The basic premise of the challenge was surrounding like solving a 4x4 puzzle of words and how they relate to one another and what not annnnddd let's just say I still have no idea on how you get ten points on that. I tried my best when it came to the challenge, and I got us a lot of points actually but it wasn't enough at the end of the day.

So we're going to tribal. And I feel actually... pretty safe. Obviously a lot of shit has been going on in my life, but I'm becoming more and more active with every day. My original tribe mates threw my name out to the wolves, but I made inroads with some of the people from Helgamine to help me stay alive, and as far as I know that seems to be what's happening. Obviously Billy seems to be the target and should be leaving by the looks of it, which I am COMPLETELY fine with since he threw out my name so fuck that!

Honestly it's hard to say what's going on. Our tribe lost the immunity challenge because the other tribe are... ICONS! Only thing I can say.

I've done my best to be socially available to the other tribe. I even let them know that I feel I've been on the bottom of my previous tribe before the swap (and legit felt that way...) and don't really care who we vote even if it's "betrayal".

I have talked to everyone since the results and Billy is REALLY pushing for Brandan since he is borderline non-social and has been with everyone. In fact, everyone is agreeing with the name and saying that it makes a lot of sense.

I, however, feel like that's too easy! I think that the fact Brandan was pushing so HARD to get out Brandan means that he has become "ammo" for the majority to recruit him. He will vote for whoever if he stays another round and they can take him as far as they need since Billy has made it OBVIOUS he's not a number that he's interested in.

Why not take the free vote plus goat and get rid of a more active player? I have a really bad vibe from this round. Everyone has been too complacent going along with things and Brandan (somehow) still hasn't heard a name. NO WAY!

If I get voted out this round I am going to be so sad. If I don't and it's a blindside of someone else I won't be. I think I could pick myself back up after that.

In the back of my mind I am really REALLY really hoping that it really is an easy vote and that everyone is playing super openly because it will give me a better idea of how to read them moving forward... the only thing is that they ALREADY voted out a different player who didn't see it coming at all. So why not repeat the same thing.

Also, sorry I didn't record this confession. I've been super busy today and was not able to film.

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

So! I'm glad we managed to pull off that win in Only Connect, I feel like I've still not yet had the chance to properly show what I'm made of on an individual level which is somewhat scary but may also help me in the long run? It could allow me to stay undetected physically in the later game if I manage to make it that far, but it could also be my downfall if we hit a premerge tribal council. I really hope we don't swap too because I'm in an optimal position right now on this Zelda2.0 tribe, praying things just stay the same and I can feel somewhat comfortable.

________________________________________________________________

Billy is voted out 6-3.

Watch the Round 4 Cast Assessment below:

[actualbird]

Hmmmmn do u have any all-time fave fics u could ref? I trust u

OH MAN!!! u didnt specify any fandom so im assuming you mean my all time faves from WHEREVER and OH BOY!!! 

i actually have fic rec page on my blog which spans over a whole bunch of fandoms and has cool legends like humor and angst and stuff (im still working on it tho omg) along with my catchall fic tag where i shove all the fics i reblog. but you asked for my ALL TIME FAVES so here are some off the top of my head (im limiting myself to one per fandom or else id be here FOREVER). 

(note: pls check the tags of fics before you read them)

Designations Congruent with Things by cleanwhiteroom (alt link) [Pacific Rim]

He begins at it already pried apart

OHHHHHH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. oh my GOD. okay i lose my shit over Designations Congruent with Things on a yearly basis because it is, by far, one of the most stunning pieces of fiction ive read. full stop. not only is it a feat of fanfiction (it’s GODDAMN LONG. it’s been taken off of ao3, so i cant check the wc, but damn i remember it was long), but as a story, it’s just. god, i dont even know what to say. ive already talked about this fic in a previous ask, so im just going to reiterate all my love again, just phrased slightly differently.

DCwT is an epic piece of Newt/Hermann Pacific Rim fanfiction. it follows Hermann and Newt after the events of the movie and delve painfully into each and every consequence their actions cause. it’s quite possibly the hardest thing ive ever read, for many reasons; the emotions are so vivid and they hurt; the science is so well researched it took me an hour to get through a paragraph because i my brain was still trying to catch up; Run On Sentences For Miles; it’s really, really goddamn long. i remember it got some flack for being over complicated, but in my opinion, the things that make this fic difficult are exactly what make it incredible. it’s overly cerebral in a way two messed up genius scientists would absolutely be. this fic is. i dont have words for it. i have only read the whole thing in its entirety ONCE and i have tried to reread it but goddamn is it difficult. this fic is definitely not for everybody, but it’s a piece of art that gained a bit of a cult following back when it was updating. (theres a fictional band in the fic that inspired ppl to make the band and the music real. RIGHT???) anyway this fic is basically the cornerstone which i worship when it comes to fanfiction as a genre of literature. jesus christ. jesus christ.

World Ain’t Ready by idiopathicsmile [Les Miserables]

Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn’t even opened his mouth yet. That’s got to be a record, even for them.

“I need a favor,” he says at last.

“With what?” says Grantaire. “Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I’d be awesome at cults, I just know it.” He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. “I love chanting, I look great in robes—”

(High school AU. Grantaire the disaffected stoner is pulled into a cause bigger than himself. Or: in which there are pretend boyfriends for great justice.)

if youve ever been in the les mis fandom i know you know this fic. i know youve already read this fic. i know that your dog has probably already read this fic. i know that this fic has been recced to hell and back, and currently resides as the most kudo-sed work in the les mis tag on AO3. but im reccing it anyways because it’s just THAT GOOD. this fic got me INTO THE FANDOM. pacing. plot. characterization. teen angst. HUMOR. this fic is perfect. literally no other words. it’s just perfect. i read this in my last few months of senior year high school, and never before have i ever read a fic that actually, truly, felt like it was about teenagers. the narrative and the voice. the dialog. god. if this were a book, id buy it. and that’s saying something because im always BROKE. but id buy this fic. several times. who am i kidding. you dont need to know this bc youve read this fic before. if you havent, please. do yourself a favor. oh my god. oh my god. (and when youre done, read all of idiopathicsmile’s other fics too god theyre all SO GOOD)

catch me if you can by isawet [Teen Wolf]

What do you think of my solution to the Kobayashi Maru?

hands down one of my favorite teen wolf fic. a vague summary gives way to a fic with incredible characterization. fucking beautiful writing style. non-chronological story telling done wonderfully. and gosh, that ending. hilarious in tiny bits that make it all the more better. just, honestly. this fic needs so much more love. it’s my go-to fic whenever i want to understand just how one can utilize suspense and tension in writing. what the hell. what the

Segments [series] by d_aia [Kingsman: The Secret Service]

“Are you sure that’s how you want to tell him?” Merlin asked once again.

“He will need space to deal with situation. It’s how he copes,” Arthur explained and a bit pretentiously at that, if one were to ask Merlin. “I’m giving him a place and a reason to run.”

Merlin chose to shut up.

all fics in this series? my favorite. it’s intelligent, brutal, beautiful. it’s been a while since ive read these, but theres a reason these fics still haunt me. god. god.

Graduate Vulcan for Fun and Profit by lazulisong [Star Trek: AOS]

It really does take a village to raise a Jim.

The members of the Kelvin’s crew watch over Jim as much as he lets them.

I LOVE THIS FIC SOOOOOOO MUCH. it’s a really delicate, heartfelt piece that isnt afraid to be an asshole sometimes, which is basically jim kirk in a nutshell. not only does it go through an incredible reflective relationship with some rando vulcan who decided to take him under his wing, but it does so in a realistic way that doesnt over dramatize aspects, but still ends up very vivid. also, THERES VULCAN LINGUISTICS. linguistics + fanfiction = 10000000% Best Shit EVER.

fathers and sons by M_Leigh [X-Men: DoFP]

“I have an – interest – in Peter Maximoff,” Erik said, somewhat grudgingly, glaring. “A – familial – interest –”

Everybody stared at him.

“In that – mutantkind is one – large – family –” Erik said valiantly, if pathetically.

“Oh, shit,” Alex said. “No way. No way.”

ghghgfjhdh the first xmen fic i ever read and by far, the most fukcgin hilarious. jesus CHRIST. theres just something subtly incredible about how the author uses phrasing to make every sentence as goddamn funny as they are. im really in love with the comma placement in this fic. every comma is exactly where it needs to be. every em dash is where it belongs. IM NOT MAKING SENSE, but i would send this fic to people as a prime example of narrative humor uplifted via phrasing and punctuation. just read this fic. it’s got Hank POV, Charles being a “strange lecherous Englishman”, Peter being a Teen, and everybody drags Erik’s fashion choices. 

Repeat After Me by queenieofaces [Yuri On Ice]

Victor learns language through mimicry, hears phrases and repeats them back until the inflection becomes second nature. Yuuri seems to communicate best through euphemism, through metaphor, through talking around the subject rather than approaching it head on, and so Victor tries his best to mimic him, to take his words and echo them back.

(Vignettes in language learning and communication, spanning the whole series.)

SO!! FUCKING!!! GOOD!!!!!!!! i think ive mentioned how much i LOVE LANGUAGE and this fic tackles the language barrier in a beautiful, earnest way. as a bilingual, this fic was just so so so good. victor is just bounding with love in this fic and the writing just feels so..,,,,warm.,,,,, 

OKAY i know you only asked for fic recs and not….all these rambles but. i just have a lot of love for fanfiction. fanfiction is so great. we are so lucky. we are so lucky. dont 4get to leave kudos and comments on fics you like! happy reading anon!!!

[artslip]

1-92 enjoyyy

😑…. why you do this to me 😂

1) I’d rather not, that’s my mother

2) yup, he’s my friend and he sits next to me in music

3) no I haven’t

4) yea I do have a small issue with trust but I have many people I trust :)

5) I didn’t, I don’t like anyone that way at the moment

6) I’m excited for the school holiday. Just think of all the naps!

7) I went to my dance class

8) I haven’t seen girls get wasted yet, I’m a 15 year old loser XD

9) I guess a certain amount of confidence is cute? Over awkward like me isn’t great XD

10) water

11) I fully trust @kieran-sw and he is the opposite gender

12) all my jeans are skinny even though they’re not full on skinny on me, it’s hard to find the right size for my short ass XD

13) I’m gonna sleep until I’m too hungry to sleep, eat, try to draw, play the ukulele, play the piano, cuddle a cat, scroll through tumblr, watch youtube videos, listen to music and go back to sleep. It’s a busy day XD

14) I have no idea what I’m gonna buy next. Probably food knowing me

15) Im not going out with anyone and I haven’t kissed anyone sooooooo no

16) everyone changes so maybe. But I personally don’t change a lot for some reason? Even my face hasn’t changed much in about 8/9 years or so because looking back at pictures I look pretty much the same and my personality is also pretty much the same and I’m rambling and you get the picture so imma shut up and move on

17) I feel most comfortable talking about everything to @kieran-sw and my friend since we were even smaller @drawsmaddy

18) I’ve never felt so bad that I’ve felt broken but the closest I’ve been to feeling that way was a few days ago?

19) I haven’t no and I’m not planning to

20) I’m starting to realise that mY HAND REALLY HURTS! I damaged it back in March (on my birthday too) by playing against my own team in hockey (I hated them all) and I tackled someone and the impact of my stick clashing into theirs “bruised” my hand. It’s not broken but I think it’s something to do with my tendons. It was worth it though, my team lost each time XD i’m getting my hand checked out in the holidays though so I’ll find out what it is soon XD

21) I am in a good mood >:3c

22) I would love to swim with sharks! I was going to when I was about 4 but I couldn’t swim well back then so I freaked at how deep the tank was. But I can swim now and I would love to try it as I, missed a great opportunity!

23) My dad’s are green, but a different shade. His are more normal, mine are strange XD

24) I want a snack

25) I’d be a bit sad but I’d be happy for them both, and I wouldn’t really say anything. Their life, they do what they want :D

26) ,y current hair colour is a dirty blonde and that’s also my natural colour. I don’t see myself in any other colour, I’d look wierd XD

27) If they didn’t make me laugh then probably not. I’m a jokey person I want someone that I can joke with

28) The last thing that made laugh was my own joke :| I’m one of those people yes, I’m sorry

29) I quite miss @drawsmaddy, I don’t see her very often but when we do meet up its great XD

30) depends what they do.

31) no! @kieran-sw is a great hooman!

32) I don’t have feelings for anyone yet so I guess not because I don’t know him either

33) I’m not, it drink too much. But my dad keeps buying it so now I think I’m addicted to caffeine….

34) at the moment, my cat purring very loudly ^w^

35) I write my working out in pencil and when I’m at home and there’s no pens then I use a pencil because I have more pencils than pens

36) ask future me, she probably still won’t have kissed anyone XD

37) I do. It happens all the time to me. I’m just going about my day and then a dog comes by or a cat sits around somewhere and I’m overwhelmed with love at first sight ♡ (for humans though, no I don’t)

38) My mum

39) a bunch of people in my dance class just now

40) because they didn’t exist :)

41) around June 7th to June 10th?

42) I hug my mum all the time :D

43) honey I am an embarrassment ;)

44) I don’t tan, I’m like paper on a bonfire when I’m in the sun. So I stay so pale that I blinded myself when my arms are uncovered in the sun all year

45) I haven’t had my first kiss

46) no I didn’t actually. I usually do but last night I didn’t for some reason, I just slept

47) My mum, again hehehe

48) I do sometimes. When I’m home alone I do. When someone’s in I don’t. I don’t want to make their ears bleed XD

49) I do dance in the car when I’m travelling and I’m bored and get a burst of energy and have nothing better to do than embarrass my sister in busy traffic XD

50) I have used a bow and arrow and very badly. I’m better at rifles XD

51) I think I was 10 when that was last done

52) not all musicals, I’m obsessed with quite a few ;D

53) Christmas is stressful when I’m getting gifts for friends and getting asked what I want

54) eat a what now?

55) I’m not a pie kinda person. Soggy fruit/meat? No thanks

56) I wanted to be an animator, and I still do!

57) no but kinda? I dunno. Sometimes I guess

58) I do quite a lot yes

59) no I don’t, the only thing I swallow daily is a hayfever tablet XD

60) I don’t like wearing slippers so I don’t wear them. So I wear socks instead

61) I don’t wear a bath robe they get in my way. I wear a jumper like thing instead, it’s so cozy :)

62) I wear pj’s. But if I’m too hot I wear my old PE shorts and a vest

63) a concert that I’ve been a part of? I’ve never been a part of a concert. But I have been in shows in school productions and the local theatres since I was very little XD

64) I’ve never been to any of those, I’m brittish

65) I don’t care, as long as the stuff does its job

66) never had any of them. I’ve actually never heared of fritos either, what are they?

67) I used to eat sunflower seeds a lot. Not anymore though

68) I don’t really have one XD

69) I take Highland. But I used to do ballet, tap and modern dance classes too until I quit because even though I passed all my exams, so they’d never move me up so I’d be stuck with younger kids. Plus a boy kept pinning me into a corner calling me “hot” and i didnt like it and he clearly needed to get his eyes tested because I am definitely not hot, I’m a small potato XD

70) I’m 15, I’m not looking that far forward yet

71) I can. I can also made a triple curl in my tongue to make a clover shape, it’s wierd XD

72) I’ve never had a spelling bee

73) I have, I do that quite a lot actually

74) the maze runner series is quite good. Those are the last books I read and I enjoyed them so I guess those are my favourites XD

75) It depends what it is I’m studying really

76) I don’t burn it at all but a couple of friends do and I like it

77) once? I think?

78) I don’t know, I’ve seen quite a lot of people. I’d probably really wanna go if dodie did one? But I probably wouldn’t be able to go

79) it was one I went to with guiding. Saw a bunch of cool people

80) I don’t drink tea or hot drinks

81) the answer is basically the same as 80’s

82) ooooh… That’s a hard decision… white chocolate chip maybe? There’s so many!

83) I can swim well yes, I even had lifeguard training at one point :D

84) it’s pretty easy to hold your breath without holding your nose, is that a thing? Do people have to do that? Huh, I learned a thing today hehehe

85) I’m quite patient when I want to be. I’m patient enough to get through all these questions so I must be hehehe

86) I don’t know, I’ve only been to 2 wedding receptions and both had a DJ playing some pretty cool songs

87) I win the adults photography competition quite a lot. Never the kids one, I think they tend to go for the school’s photos instead of one’s taken with a big camera and not a tiny one hehehe. The prize is the same anyway

88) despite my ugly face, I wouldn’t have plastic surgery unless I got acid or serious burns on my face and it was necessary

89) ew olives

90) people can do what they want, as long as they’re sure that they’re ready then that’s fine by me. Athough underage sex isn’t really the best idea in my opinion but still, you do what you want, your life, live it how you want as long as it doesn’t effect other people

91) at some point yes I do :)

Finally! That took some time XD

[norman-reedus-gossip]

bulk

– mod–
I’ll add to the comments as usual. Anon:
The DM ran photos of DK in the exact same outfit with the exact same shopping bags iSaturday – walking alone. Check it out. No way she wore the identical outfit and had the same bags yesterday. The story conveniently tags them as yesterday when it was known N was back in NYC. The “getaway” makes for a much better story than 2 friends hanging out like he’s done with several female friends in the past few weeks (Ira, Jarah, Liz) – and been photographed with them too. These pics were set up.

Anon:
what is everyone talking about with norman and what did this DK woman do? i’m late and curious because i really don’t want to find a way to dislike norman

Anon:
grooooooooossssssssssssss. well if the other rumours are true, she wants a baby w him.

Normansweetpie:
I honestly am surprised about Norman and Diane. And to the person that said Norman is a horrible person, you’re wrong. Norman liked Diane and I believe that Norman can do whatever he wants to do with his life. If Norman wants to date Diane, that’s fine.

Anon:
So he is w a disgusting famewhoere. completely changes the way i see him. bye bye norman, no longer your fan (and im a lesbian, so this isn’t butthurt shit here)

Anon: If this is true, I don’t want to go to WSC London now. I don’t feel like meeting him if he has been lying to us this whole time.

Anon: Norman has to address this. He’s getting so much hate. I hope he shuts it down. Please Norman say it’s not true.

Anon:
I can’t believe he lied to us. If this really is true, then everything he says is bullshit.

Anon: Mod, I am at a loss how this whole narrative in the NR fandom went from “DK is vile, they’re not friends ” to “DK is vile they’re definitely not dating cuz NR is sweet and great” to “They’re dating! They’re both vile!”…. Like, where is this coming from? Norman’s own fans would rather believe he’s some sort of vile scumbag than the alternative that maybe, just maybe 1) NR and DK are both decent people? And 2) none of us knows the private details of when/how they got together?

Anon: Mod in your opinion do you think he would have done that? He did things that made us believe he was single so do you think he was really lying to us the whole time? I want to cry if he was. I thought he was different. Do you think there’s a chance that he is just friends with her?

Anon: Just friends my ass. They’ve been together off and on for over a year. Time for fans to take off the delusional glasses and accept it. He’s a good ACTOR, isn’t he?

Anon: II thought that if this happened I would feel angry and sad and disappointed. But I feel relaxed and calm and I wish Norman finally have found the woman that will stay with him till the end. I feel really happy for him.

Anon: I hope that Norman realizes that Diane probably called the paparazzi and set that whole thing up so they would finally be outed as a couple. She is a real piece of work.

Anon: A few choice words like unwise, irresponsible, childish, selfish, asinine, and dishonest, as well as many more like them are all coming to mind right now.

Anon: I know it’s his life but I think he needs to say or do something for his fans now. Just like when he shut down the EK rumor. Btw, TMZ also reported that as official too, if I recall and that was never true either. Please say something about the truth of this, Norman

Anon: In the midst of this DK stuff, someone on Facebook who works at LaGuardia airport says she talked to Norman at work today. Do you know if he’s heading somewhere?

Anon: What had Diane done and why does everyone hate her?

Anon: I am an extremely disappointed… I was gonna say fan, but I can no longer even bring myself to write that much less say it. What an effing nightmare. Seriously, I’m not sure if Norman could make a more foolish decision.

Anon: I want to be clear this is not a DK hate (or even dislike) post. I have to say I find it a bit ironic of NR fans blaming the trash mags for NR not being able to “live his personal life”. If I’m not mistaken didn’t the pap pics originate in daily mail? Doesn’t DK and her people have a deal with them and they set up pics all the time? So I’m assuming DK or both of them are courting this attention, yes? I think we need PR wife again, lol.

Anon: Ok wait, it doesn’t have to mean they are together. She could have been hanging with him like he does with a lot of his female friends. And I stil think the pics are only one day. Not a “weekend getaway” I really hope he says something now, though. This back and forth is too much. I pray it’s friendship and nothing more because I don’t want to have to stop supporting him. Say something Norman.

Anon: 
I cannot think of a single nice thing to say about Norman right now and I’m not sure I will ever be able to again. Anon: Dont you think that this is kinda ridicilous , this whole dk / nr is going on since 2015 , if they were together , they would already admit that and dont forget joshua and diane broke up a long time ago , so nr and her had a long time chance to admit it 🙄(sorry my english is not very good ) 


Susa206: Everybody should calm down! In my opinion it´s obviously, that they are a couple. I think we don´t have the right to judge about his or her life! Nobody knows what really happened between DK and her former boyfriend….. I never liked her … but the most important thing, is that he is happy…. and we have to accept his choice…. ( sorry again for my bad english)

Anon: So are we to believe they have been so careful to not be seen out together in more than a year and now they are caught in his parking garage? Set up

Anon: she is just so unlikeable. ive read her interviews and seen her interviews. she is not likeable. this is bad new for his brand, but its his life. i know i won’t tune into anything he does if she is accompanying him or being mentioned. i know celebs are humans, but i also consider them brands that i choose to consume. ive no interest in using my money & attention to help her brand, and won’t consume anything she is attached to. sorry normski, not interested if you come w her as an add on

Anon: But hold on remember when he was photographed with Elsa Hosk? and they aren’t together. I know because of DK, it’s strange but I don’t think it proves it yet. Until Norman comes out and says it.

Anon: Mod , i would like to help you a bit. I also dont believe that they are together , in fact i do believe Diane might have a crush on Norman (who not) and im sure Norman knows that , but it seems he is enjoying his single life and told her that , and still wants to hang out as friends with her , because why not? Maybe they were out having dinner , maybe he or she made dinner at their homes! 😊( just what i think about the whole dk/n thing)

Anon: this norman stuff with TMZ, is utter bullshit. they are probably just friends and so what if they are dating, they should be happy that they are happy.

Anon: Mod , it seems you doubt about if they are friends or not ….

Anon: Mod, do you think they really are together or do you think the friends theory is possible? I just want to cry if it’s true. It’s not that he’s with someone but that it could be her! I hate her. She is nothing like him she is so full of herself and now he looks like a cheater and a liar. I didn’t think he was anything like that but now he looks like such a fake person. Not who he said he was to his fans. I’m so sad. What do you think Mod??

Anon: If them unloading a car together is the smoking gun on their relationship… damn! I am in a relationship with a bunch of cab drivers! Dammit… and here I am thinking I’m single! 


Rebellacycle: I’m sorry I’m laughing at a lot of this this man can’t be any where near a woman or his female fan loose their shit “ oh he’s with her no ” if he is dating her at least she is close to his age if she slept with him I’d hi- five her good for you Diane 😂🤣💪🏹 let him live his life I don’t know her we really as fans don’t know the both of them it’s his and her business if they are dating or not what ever and I would love to be at his next convention to see if these “ fans ” ask him about it

Anon: Sorry!! I meant good luck to HIM. I want the man to be happt but she is just YUCK. My bad. You always rule. I’m going to drink whiskey til I puke this weekend. Why do I care? I have no clue but am just disappointed.

Anon: Can someone post the pics of DK that are supposedly from Saturday, please. Also, are those pics on tmz from yesterday or Thursday. I’m confused!

Anon:
Sooooooo are they together or were they just carpooling to like Whole Foods and Best Buy or something?

Anon:
I’m done with NR. Cannot support this disgraceful behaviour whatsoever. More to the point how can he be okay with a supposed partner calling the paps on them? Entire thing is a mess. he is not who he pretends he was.

Anon:
NR and DK kept their relationship hidden this long because they knew people would never forget about how their relationship got started (cheating) and they knew if they went public they would be one of the most hated couples in Hollywood. I seriously want to throw up she is such a horrid human being. N has developed really shit taste in women.

Anon:
Here it goes. Seems like we finally got our proof and Norman and DK came out and made it public finally. They are together. You can’t tell me she’s just a friend cruising around with him and unloading his car. Not after all. I’m so disgusted, I almost vomited. I can’t believe Norman fell for this woman. I’m SO SO disappointed and disgusted! 😞

Anon:
Those two horrible people deserve each other. And they deserve every ounce of hate that they get as long as they are together.

Anon:
Isn’t there a simple way to clear it up? One or both of their reps will confirm or deny the rumors, right? NR had to do that with the EK thing. Plus I think isn’t DK going to LA for Oscar weekend stuff? If she gives any interviews I’m sure they’d ask about this, right?

[nerdieturtlez]

B,F,G,L,M,Q,R,S

B. Favourite band.ok im not doing one answer and just bands because tho people are insane who choose one, LP, Halsey, Lady Gaga , The Ting TIngs, The Neighbourhood, muse, twenty one pilots, smashing pumpkins, nirvana, red hot chili peppers, BVB, Exo, chris cornell, kaleo, BTS, INFINITE, HISTORY, Sia, Boy republic, coldplay, NONONO, Melanie Martinez, karmin, juanes, allen stone, john newman, kygo, Ciara, Rihanna, the monkees, sly and the family stone, and many more to name. I have an amazing taste in musicF. My favourite movie.The Lion King, The Lion king 2, mulan, Alice in wonderland, Peter Pan, ok lets get this straight (besides me) I love anything disney and wont make me cry my booty offf. yet disney seems to always do that... I STILL LOVE IT ANYWAYS!G. Sexual orientationGay afL. One of my insecuritiesMy arms, i'm really self concious about them... Like i cant wear anything that goes above my elbows without wanting to like hide away and kinda cry .__. I can't explain it...M. Virgin or not?Virgin, i ruined the moment the last time i almost got lucky hahahahadgbsyhgfdsdhQ. Relationship status as of right nowSingle and ready to mingle .. I am goals come take meR. Favourite song at the moment.Anything by Lp, got a new record plaver and have been only playing LP's record " Forever for now" since Christmas... Sooooooo and also always playing her on repeat on my phone. God i love her.S. A random fact about myself.I'm hotter than most people I know because i'm closer to hell cus im shorter. Yes i am really 4'9 and yes I can't reach anything and yes im done growing and yes im the most fabulous thing to ever and will ever exist

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #12: “if they were smart, they would take me out tonight.” - David

Man, things are not looking good at all for me and my alliance, LOL, sweet lord. Jones was blindsided at tribal, and now if I don't win out these immunity challenges, I'm definitely gonna go home.

Winning 2 in a row is a feat in itself, now I'm going for 3. With a time of 7:58, I feel pretty good about it. The key is to not get ahead of yourself and take your time. People go too damn fast in these endurance challenges and manage to mess up, I'm hoping that's the case again this time, LOL.

so...! POST TRIBAL JONES WENT HOME 4-3-1 HALLELUYAH LOLLL LIKE THE GODFATHER IS GONE!!! rhys legit gave me tobi and ryan a fucking heart attack bc if he selfed it would have been 3-3-1-1 and ryan was gonna use his idol on tobi.. i have to laugh lol but ya like uhm.

its rly weird to be in this position. where i feel insanely comfortable. i’m the only person left with 0 votes to my name, me and tobi are the only people to vote 100% in majority throughout this game. :))

and it’s even better bc.. tobi and ryan both think i’m their #1’s. and i can act the fool bc i’m the ONLY canute left vs 3 mercia 2.0 and 3 sweyn 2.0 hehe...

its super weird i dont usually have good positioning but i feel as if the only way i’ll ever leave is an idol play which i think me and ryan have the only ones :)

I BEAT THE CURSE OF EIGHT. But Jones got voted out. So it’s a win/lose situation. She was determined on helping me get past eighth and it’s upsetting. But I gotta keep moving forward and do my best. Block Party was very tedious and I don’t know what’s considered a “good score” for this challenge but I completed it in 7 minutes which I think is pretty good.

so im just gunna be a psychic and hope this comes into fruitation or whatever the word is...

OK SO THIS VOTE GET OUT DAVID.. easy 4-3 lol

next vote.. bait tobi mo and ahrre into voting ryan, tell ryan to idol, we pref get ahrre out if possible..

then i PREF WIN F5 IMMUNITY AND BAIT all of them into votign tobi and i idol tobi... but if i dont win immunity im gunna prob use it on myself and be a selfish cunt lol

Just kidding it took me 11 minutes I don’t think I’m winning this

So last tribal was interesting. In theory my plan didnt change anything, however it couldve stopped a tie vote. Jones was close to Ahrre and Mo (maybe David?!). So she couldve easily chose to vote Ryan and sway them on board. My plan stopped this happening as she had no idea they were voting for Tobi.

Now I feel like I am still in a power position. I am inbetween Tobi, Ryan, Scott and Mo, Ahrre and David. I have to assess my options. I did lie to Mo, and Ahrre. So they may want to make a move against me. Where as Tobi, Scott and Ryan are the more safe trio but also more dangerous in that I wouldnt be able to beat one of them in the end.

Someone has idols too. So ANYTHING could happen. I need them to get burnt out soon. I CANT have a possibility of 4 IDOLS at final 5. Dani, Felix and Jones were all blindsided, so there may be a chance some idols laid there. However the merge one is likely still here. It was gone before jones left, and might be gone still. Meaning the idol is with someone else or wasnt re hidden.

My main goal in this round is to keep votes off me, get an idol possibly used and stay low. I didnt make a massivly obvious move, so my visiablity may still be low. I dont need a huge threat level, it makes getting to the end 100x harder.

Tobi snapped in immunity and tg he did bc David is finally vulnerable again <3 honestly it should be an easy vote considering ik our 4 wants David out bc he's so strong, and I doubt anyone else has an idol since me and Scott have 2.... so wigggg smooth sailing? i ain't gonna settle into comfortability tho bc that's never good

Ok so now I need to think about my end game. The only two people I’m not comfortable sitting next to FTC are Ryan and David. Ryan has been swerving eliminations and has gotten rid of several big threats. David is a comp beast and is also responsible for some big moves. So now you might be thinking, Mo? What’re you going to do? Lemme tell ya Barb. So my plan AT the moment. Is 7. David 6. Ahrre or Rhys 5. Ahrre or Rhys 4. Ryan And then final three will be Scott, Tobi and myself.

Winning immunity at this stage feels sooooooo damn good like especially for this round, this is the first time david has been open on the table after his immunity... and i feel like this is the round where advantages from the other side will be played and im glad im not vulnerable to whatever shit they throw at us... so like from a gameplay standpoint, me and scott have one of the best games currently (i think) with scott edging me slightly since he hasnt got any votes yet, but we're working together really well and like i feel like i can talk game to him really well... so the plan is that we take out david this round, we round up mo (idk about ahrre) for next vote and blindside ryan, and then from there we take out ahrre, and then me and him are in f4 with two goats. He wants to go to f3 with me while taking one goat (or so he says he does) but im gonna start making moves on scott at f4, if i can take out scott at f4 that leaves me a huge opening to take the game all the way till the end... but maybe i'm thinking too far ahead

Lowkey tho like... I kinda want ahrre out over david at this point... i feel like ahrre has built some sort of barrier in our relationship for no reason. like i've shown huuuge interest in working with him in the past, but he's just gone against me and even voted me last tribal in SPITE of me??? like??? everything he's done has landed him in the minority LMFAOOOOOOO LIKE get your head out of your ass and realize that i actually want to work with you!!! and like to get ryan out at f6 we're gonna need numbers and im not sure how comfortable i am with depending on mo to flip with us, the problem with telling ahrre is that hes soooo unpredictable like, he might just go and tell ryan everything me and scott are doing and then bam there goes everything... i understand wanting david out now since he's an immunity threat but thinking about all  the blindsides I need to pull off like... I wanna keep david but I don't have numbers to keep him so I'll just have to bite the bullet on this one

So!! i lost challenge. again. lol xd

missus david and his ragtag bunch of misfits who dk how to Not piss everyone off are now deciding to vote me after unsuccessfully voting everyone else. (: BC THATS GUNNA WORK OUT FOR THEM.

like bitch.. work w/ the majority. they arent even TRYING. its lowkey kinda sad but its their own faults they put themselves in this position...

the tea is even tho i have my idol im only playing it @ f6/f5 OR if david idols. like. tobi/ryan def wont vote me and rhys will just follow ryan i think NNNN

wisj me luck x

Fuck. I have a really tough decision to make. I’d like to say I’m the swing vote but I don’t actually know 100%. I can choose to vote with David, Rhys and Ahrre or Ryan, Scott and Tobi. My main concern with this vote as a whole is jury management because I don’t want someone to leave unhappy with me but that’s really tough to do. I said previously my two concerns are David and Ryan when it comes to who I don’t wanna be sitting next to at FTC. A final four with David is scary because he’s a comp beast. A final four with Ryan is scary because he is super close with Scott and Tobi. This is a headache.

Well so last vote was funky dunky. So rhys sticked with the majority because he considered Jones to be a bigger threat than Tobi due to her connections.... Then the vote comes around and literally everyone lied to Jones about the vote LMAO.

So me mo and david followed thru with the tobi vote but it was to no avail, mainly because rhys not only flipped but he let him know I was gunning for him. Meanwhile the rest convicted Jones to vote me, probably by telling her some lie about how I was after her. While they all voted for her.

So there goes Jones and my no votes streak with her RIP. So after all of that I decided it was time for me to try and win imunity and while I was close Tobi just edged me the fecker.

So now we have an immune tobi and depend on rhys to flip for real this time. I hope he realizes that if he doesn't then everything is fucked but now it doesn't even depend on him. Since it's between Ryan and Scott and it's f7 the chances of an idol being played are high.

David is worried it might be him they're going after but idk anything could happen.

hmm so I've been busy today and haven't been talking with everyone. but i believe the tiffany alliance is still on the same page of voting David. i heard from Scott that the other 3 are voting him and they think Rhys is voting with them so that's interesting. i'm defintiely feeling safe, and i feel like Scott isn't going anywhere either so yayy final 6 here we go. I also talked with Scott about taking out Tobi sometime before final 3 because he's definitely a big jury threat, and he can definitely win immunities so if we get a chance to take him out we might hop on that. A final 3 of me/Scott/Rhys sounds pretty ideal and i think me or Scott would take home the win whew

david got another thing coming if he thinks he can idol me out... thats tea lol :)

So I lost the challenge yesterday...and yet I'm hearing that I'm not getting any votes tonight o.O which I don't believe for one second, cuz if they were smart, they would take me out tonight.

As I'm hearing...me, Mo, Ahrre and Rhys are gonna be voting for Scott, and Ryan, Scott and Tobi are voting Ahrre...because they think that I have the idol, LMFAOOO. WHICH IS TOO FUNNY OMG. I WISH I HAD THAT FUCKING IDOL, LOL.

Okay, so one side thinks Scott is going, One side thinks David is going. Meanwhile im in the middle lieing to half the tribe trying to stop an idol getting played to save my closest ally. Yeet.

Ok so according to rhys they're gonna be voting me since they're worried about david having an idol. But maybe that's just rhys playing the long con. Either way there's a sizeable chance I could be going home this week but hey third time's the charm amarite maybe this blindside will work once in for fucking all. Anyhow let's see how this thing goes.

David is voted out 4-3.

[andivebeenafoolandivebeenblind]

my story!

Day 1: Today was a long and very emotional day, M came with me to the hospital, where i had too tell my story from the very beginning, which was difficult. After the D&A team and the MH team finally figured out what they were going to do with me, i ended up waiting for patient transport as they were admitting me in Wyong. After arriving in Wyong and being metal detected, vitals done and shown where everything was I spent an hour or so just in my room which is number 21, at the end of the corridor, away from the desk. When I thought everyone had gone too bed, I went and sat in the common area and watched a bit of whatever was on tv. I had a small reserved chat with a girl who is 31 and in the room next too mine. They’ve taken my phone and bra’s off me. I can hear the rain outside. I’m nervous about tomorrow with all the new Dr’s and having too repeat my story and hopefully be cleared for piggies. M was amazing today! I cried so much on the drive too Wyong :(

Day 2: Today was rough! after a some what hard sleep with a few awoken moments and tears, I found it very difficult for me to wake up for breakfast. After breakfast I had a shower and went to sit out in the courtyard. I sat in on ‘group psychology’ and didn't really say anything. I spoke with a psychologist, psychiatrist and the MH ward GP. Sooooooo many questions asked on their end. I was approved for two, thirty minute breaks (smokes) unaccompanied leave and one hour of accompanied leave per day! We get our phones on each break so I need my charger I had smokes today thanks too a guy in here. Since being back i got very agitated and had a headache, so I was given 1g of panadol l and 100mg of serequel and then the night meds too sleep which were zopiclone. I start a new a new antidepressant tomorrow morning. Right now my mood is 4/10 Megan comes tomorrow and smokes. One step at a time.... still really want too end it all but everyone here is the best kinda support. Tomorrow is a new day.

Day 3: Today most definitely had its ups and downs. For starters NOONE called me, I had too call you and no-one answered, so all g I’m over it now.... I found waking up was different and that i felt like a space cadet its worse than being lit thats for sure. I haven't got too pick my menu yet so morrow will be a surprise as well, the new girl E, she presented too GDH ED the same afternoon I did. M and her mum came too see me today, they saw my room. We just stood outside so i could smoke. Mum is coming up tomorrow around 1-1:30pm but thats when lunch is, hopefully we go shopping and we get ciggies, and fingers crossed she remembers the shit too get me including my thongs and charger. Second night in a row of zopiclone and serequel, administered separately both with effect. Goodnight cruel world.

Day 4: Sunday was eventful thats for sure. I felt sick, space cadety, belittled loved, scared and unsafe. Mum came too see me today, we hung out and got coffee’s. She bought me clothes, smokes and my glasses. We were belittled together by a nurse about bringing coffee back onto the ward. I was also asked if I had spoken too any patients of the rehab ward, too which i responded NO!. I danced outside, I cried, I am currently feeling unsafe and know I’m still a 3/10 if not maybe even a 2/10 because i stole a fucking staple, a singular fucking staple, but I’ve got this. My emotions are sooooooo out of whack, I rang N on my last break of the day  and face timed him and H. Rang C and told him where I was. I haven't had a zopiclone yet, just a serequel, ladies and gentleman “Next on, is A going too kill herself?”

Day 5: Just when I thought I couldn’t feel any worse, I woke up! Today has just been challenging I was woken up too take my medication, breakfast was crap, I did go out into the courtyard and throw oranges at the tree with J this morning. L and I went on the morning walk and snuck ciggies out. Mum wouldn’t visit me today because of my mood! I had an ECG and MSU the ECG was fine, my MSU showed all the recreational drugs I’d been taking outside of admission. *D and A came and saw me. Last night I hurt myself with the god damn staple and I was honest with my morning nurse about it and I was spoken too about HDU, where I don’t want to go! which got me on 1/2hr watches. Ive had 150mg of serequel today so thats not good. I didn’t like the psychology group today, maybe tomorrow’s will be better. I rang N and spoke too him before his phone died, he made me laugh which was good. Hopefully this is as low as I’ll feel which is a 1/10.

Day 6: Today was okay, I was around 3/10-4/10 for a vast majority of the day, but I’ve had some lows. I was so drugged out this morning during my appointment with the psychiatrist, but the general gist is I’m here until I’m not scared of myself anymore, I do however get extra leave. 2 X1hr unaccompanied and 1X2hr accompanied. I walked over too the petrol station today too buy cigarettes and a 30pk of winfield blue crush cost me $40.45! WTF! Snuck a biggie out on the morning walk again and had headpins hahaha. I bought a large soy dirty chai. After my afternoon break I came back in and wanted too sign myself out! I spoke with J and E about it then I rang N and he gave me some hard truths, that i needed. After the morning walk because the psychologist wasn’t there the OT organised cooking, so we baked 2 cakes.  Tonight I have been in and out of tears for god only knows why, no thats a lie there are a few reasons why, I took my night time meds tonight so lets see how i feel when i wake up considering I’m still scared of thoughts. C my nurse this morning has been fantastic.

Day 7:  I woke up a 3/10 I didn’t have breakfast, I went for the morning walk and snuck a biggie. Came back form the walk 2/10 spoke with G the psychologist on the ward, for a fair bit of time and was able to speak about somethings I haven’t ever spoken about. For my first 1hour break i went too Kanwall shops to go too the bottle-o with B, I bought 2 bottles for $12 and there was 7.4 standard drinks too a bottle. We sat at the park had a few ciggies, I tack vommed real good, we walked back too the unit, I had a shower and changed and washed my clothes. For the second break B and I did the same thing except this time I only bought 1 bottle and we shared it. We didn’t finish it and left it near the school, I’ll be going back for it tomorrow. My afternoon was about a 4/10 and then my mood started too drop and now i have been randomly crying for no particular reason. O’s exhibit J’s currently girlfriend is in here and she is a piece of work, J visited her almost all afternoon.  After B and I went for the second walk we were where we normally smoke, I laid down on my back and B sat on my stomach, she looked down at me and kissed me, and then we kinda made out and N saw us, we went too go inside, when she called me over in-between the buildings and we started making out again. N saw it again lol, so we had a smoke with him and then walked back in. According too R I’m fucking “desperate and stupid” because i used a staple too hurt myself, she is so lucky L told me and that I didn’t hear it because Id be sitting in HDU right now. I miss my mum and hope she comes too see me tomorrow and I won’t be drunk.

Day 8: I got lamb drunk today, I saw the psychiatrist and MO today and I’ve been put on 5mg Diazapam (Valium) BD aswell as being on a benzo withdrawal scale, which is weird, why did they wait 7 days too put me on a bento withdrawal scale? any who I get 6 hours/ day accompanied or unaccompanied leave hoping for discharge on monday. If not all good. I wish i was out for the weekend but im going too organise with mum a time too go see N. Mum has saturday, sunday and monday off work so she will see me then with C and possibly Nan. C said he will come and see me tomorrow. I rang N tonight where he told me after his appointment today, he came too see me but I was in the middle of lunch and they didn’t even tell me, he thought I picked food over him! As if that could ever be true. Im getting referrals too psychotherapy and my GP is going too get a discharge summary with how too wean me off Valium. I really miss N and just want an N hug and too play the drums. N left today, I wished him the best of luck.

Day 9: Today is Friday and I went and got super smashed, mum knows about my bento withdrawal scale and is okay with that she doesn’t know I’m smashed. I cant wait too see her tomorrow and go too the beach with her and C. Tonight I was so drunk I couldn’t do the withdrawal scale but they gave me a sleeping tablet. I fell over on my walk back too the hospital and fucked up my knee’s toes and one wrist.  I don’t want to feel this bad again I was literally laying where we smoke and I was tack coming hard. NEVER AGAIN! they want too take my solo leave away but they will let me out tomorrow with mum so I guess thats okay. Mum is taking me too the beach so I’m excited about that.

Day 10: I went too the beach today and it was great! the weather was warm but the water was absolutely freezing, yet refreshing. C was a no show today, which didn’t faze me. Mum bought me a razor so i could shave, but she made me strip too my underwear and show her my body both before AND after the shower and then she checked the razor, it was humiliating, but i completely understand why she did it and I don’t blame her! After the beach mum and I went too Lakehaven shops where we went too coles and Kmart, we got KFC for food. At Kmart I bought a new pair of shorts and a pair of thongs. Once I got back to the ward I had a biggie or two and started feeling really low so instead of doing something I’d regret I walked back through the doors too the ward, where after dinner I went straight to bed, looking back on that feeling I’m sure its because I was surrounded by a lot of people and I was just very overwhelmed, but I spent most of the night in my room or not engaging with people in the common areas. I snuck my phone in tonight, and messaged N until I fell asleep. I only took a 50mg serequel instead of that and a zopi. Im seeing mum tomorrow and she is taking me too see N and I’m super excited, I’ve missed him so much.

Day 11: Today has been a mixed bag of emotions, waking up every hour or so last night probably didn’t help. I woke up for my morning meds and breakfast with no-one waking me up. I went out for my morning smoke at 10 in my pj’s and took an hour. I went and laid in the sun in the courtyard with J, I then started to get ‘bad’ thoughts and went too lay down and read. I ended up getting PRN serequel because I could feel my heart beating through my chest and I was getting really edgy, I think that was because I was nervous about seeing N and Z this afternoon. Mum came up at around 2pm and we sat in the common area chatting for a bit, we then played uno, where I whopped her ass! Mum then signed me out on leave and we went too the small park right behind Tuggerah Westfeild so I could meet up with N and Z. When I saw N he gave me the biggest and best most needed cuddle I’ve ever had, he didn’t let me go, I had a few tears but it was okay, we talked, i laughed we got in Z’s car because the boys had something for me too listen too and it was THEIR SINGLE and it was fucking filthy, I’m so proud of them. N said he would come and stay at mum’s with me when i got out and we would dye my hair and go clothes shopping hahaha. On the drive back too the hospital I started getting really upset and anxious because I just wanted to go home with mum, but I’ve spoken with my nurse and it looks promising for discharge tomorrow :) Fingers crossed everything goes well. I smuggled my phone in again tonight.

[survivorjordanpines]

Episode 5: It's time to put my game face on - Ruthie

What a telling tribal. Gage is a whole liar. He and David both lied to me about how the vote was going. Now I definitely know not to trust them. Jaiden was mad that I voted for him, but I think we patched things up in PMs. However, I feel like this tribe swap will do me wonders. Chrissa is definitely someone who I want to align with. I hope we can get either Ari or Casey on our side so that Gage can be voted out as that seems to be in my mind, best case scenario. He's playing really well and that needs to go sooner rather than later.

So we voted out Adam and it was messy as fuck like planned but then A SWAP Not just a swap but The three blue people are PEOPLE I LOVE AND WOULD WANT TO WORK WITH SO WE CAN EASILY JUST TAKE OUT THE GREENS IF WE WANTED. Unless of course RTP doesnt think Emma and Cole can get along. I think whaatever happens on this tribe, im going to at least survive the first vote??? We can pray we can pray

I... like this swap? I think? I'm glad Jessica is with me and not Ari, I'm not sure if Ari would feel bitter about the vote or not. I hope Emma is okay, I miss her. I'm glad to be with Charlotte- I'm just nervous to see if anyone else would vote me out if given the chance, I LOVE Drew but I don't trust him, I was hoping not to see him until later on. For now I'm going to stick close to Charlotte and Jessica and just see what else happens. 

Jaiden and I have definitely patched things up! I think we could be a dynamic duo that really shakes up the game! On NuSenip, I'm going to actually make an attempt to be social with the other members. This is where my game takes a turn for the best! I know Chrissa and I are already working together. She told me she has an idol from the isle of pines which I'm thankful for. I can definitely use this to my advantage. If I even catch a scent of being in danger then I could probably just ask Chrissa to use her idol on me. I've already started talking with Ari so I hope my charm can get her on my side. Jaiden said that we need to stick with Gage and LA. I, however, do not plan to ever stick with them for long. I want to definitely vote out Gage! Liars can get gone! However, I do not have the power for that kind of move yet. Plus, Jaiden seems to be on the boat where he doesn't want to vote out Gage. Hopefully, he's not just lying to me so that he can vote me out. I really do hate this.

WHEW OKAY do we know what the fuck just happened?? i certainly don't! so honestly all i wanted to do was save casey and cole because they're cute, but apparently i accidentally started world war three up in here, so whoops! to be honest i knew i fucked up the minute i told cole that andreas was targeting him, i still am not really sure why i thot that was a good idea but there was no turning back once i said it. and of course fifteen minutes later andreas messaged me "Can I ask you a question?" and i knew i was dead. but i did what i could with it, which was ignoring the problem and going to see a movie and telling everyone i had no idea what was happening and counting on my friends to not betray me. and hey, it worked out! anyways i was gone like 3/4 of the day, jessica really covered my ass and i owe her my life and also the other two who didn't stone cold betray me. i'm looking forward to andreas coming back and murdering me for real. i decided to start a fight in the tribe chat for no particular reason except it was funny to me and i don't feel like holding myself back anymore! i'm not here to win, i'm here to have fun and make some memories on the way. so no regrets. and this new tribe i'm on??? basically a dream. i have never met 4/7 people, i'm with someone who voted with me so i don't have to worry about my dirty laundry being dropped in the fire, and jaiden is here which is gonna be so much fun. and that's about all you missed on glee! i'm gonna go forward with my newfound strategy of not giving a f*ck and see where it takes me. wish me luck.

Fuck Karen. This bitch is literally letting a past game control her thinking. And it was ONE TIME. I didn't even tell Cole about it. I told Dom who told Leah who told Cole so like back the fuck off my dick. She needs to go because I don't think I could stand her in merge or in another tribe. God her and Regan think they are sooooooo smart but once I come into the picture? They better keep their wigs tight because I'm coming for them. Gage telling me all this information  is really interesting though. He must actually want to work with me despite lying to me this whole time. I truly think he wants to work with me, but the majority on Senip prevented him from doing so. However, now that they are gone, he can work with me freely. I told you my social game would help me make allies in the future. I do think this swap will do wonders for me so I pray that it all works out in the end.

DREW MESSAGING ME LIKE HE'S EXCITED I'M ON HIS TRIBE. I love Drew so much, he's one of my favorite people in the community but he just scares me and I like trying to out think him but I literally CANNOT.  I just want him to go before me in this game, the days where I try to save Drew are OVER it's time to put my game face on and stop caring who I try to take out. 

Episode with triple tribal 11/25- https://youtu.be/2kHbejXxdN8

so we swapped and i love this tribe but then jordan gave winterbells because he loves hell and being satan huh?

I hate winterbells

winterbells is winterhell

winter bells is the worst. i wish we hadn't swap yet, i feel like i was in a decent spot. i haven't really talked to many people yet so rip. thankfully i still have gage who is turning out to be my closet person? also working 24 hours in three days sucks.

ANDREAS IS FUCKING GONE AND IM SO FUCKING MAD FUCK U ARI FUCK U ARI FUCK U AND WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU THINK YOURE DOING IS NOT GOING TO LAST LONG GOOOOOO FUCK YOURSELF

First of all, BITCH!!!! What a fuckin bitch move, taking me out right before the swap. Like I actually liked our tribe and then everyone gotta act all sketchy and vote me out. Like 4 people suddenly coming up to me to make sure the vote was Raf? Sketchy. They were probably worried I had an idol which, sadly I did not. Because those fucking trees. But forreal, everyone on that tribe is either a bitch or an idiot. Except Karen, who if I ever get out of here can have my loyalty. But Jaiden? Bitch. LA? Bitch. Rafael? Idiot. More of a drama queen but like there's only two options. Regan is either a bitch if she voted against me or an idiot if she didn't vote me cuz like it was clearly either me or Raf so you're either betraying me or just plain stupid. Karen was the only one who voted with me and like, we were both just like idgaf who it is as long as it isn't me. But as we all know....  Whatever. The annoying thing is like I had no idea until the very end, when I'm talking with a few of them and I'm saying like "well if it was me like no one would tell me, I guess that'd be a blindside" and then immediately I'm like... huh, you know it very well could be one. Not like I had any power to stop it. I just would've looked desperate. But now I'm on redemption and it's time to flex some real power. Like this is where I thrive. No more of this pussy-ass tribe challenges where I gotta rely on everyone's dumb ideas. Now it's just me, and pure determination to fuck them up. They'll all burn for this, and I'm an eternal flame 🔥 

Hell yes... I'm throwing these challenges espICALLLYYLLYLYLY when I can be immune duh. Also lmao at my serpent tongue flipping the script on ari and andreas last tribe.... Y'all aren't as good as me.... Like it's me Cole... the beauty honey.. Also the OLD SCHOOL HOES WILL WIN OK, WE MAY HAVE  3 WINNERS ME JESSICA CASEY and well king RYAN but we got this... WE ARE BETTER....!! JORDAN LOVE ME IM PLAYING THIS GAME REALLY VILLIANIOUS OKURRRR.

A rant why i hate the tumblr survivor community where alot of people are snowflakes who get offended and a rant why i kind of like it and a rant where these people are stupid in this game. I really dont get why they voted off Andreas it was like Ari was thinking like a bitch.... 1: THEY HAD JESSICA AND RYAN who wouldnt have probably voted them off! 2: Why say we wanted cole out i would of probably destoryed my game for cole 3: I was sleeping until 2pm 4: I never thought Ari was messy and also i wanted to not vote them off ever even though were two opposites i am not a good person while Ari is very pure and smart while im not!!!! After that they were being a little cocky you are so lucky that ryan and cole were on my tribe and not you because i would of thrown you under the bus so hard to Sarah who is like Andreas best friend and i would enjoy seeing you pre merge Ari! That was aggressive but the more i think about it now i can stay with Cole as long as i want and now i dont have to worry about voting off my friends and feel bad about it unless if people want to take the game personally but im just gonna do what ever i can to win honestly! Also ruthie and jessica are the best two people in this game ill be so MAD if they dont do well because they deserve everything. I also felt bad not aligning with Casey at first because shes one of the people in the tumblr survivor community who i love. Lily is boring and Madison is okay i would go  with sarah all the way because i hear shes iconic i love her already.

COLE if youre reading this WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! Him trying to get the lowest score all of the time is going to bite him in the ass one of these times. Anyways the rumor currently is Sarah wants Madison out which Im fine with but lets hope its stays that way

Have I done a confessional lately? No one knows. In case I forgot to talk about it in the last confessional, I found a hidden immunity idol at the Isle of the Pines. I used my second search to get receipts that I could provide to my tribe to make it look like I didn't find anything but turns out? I didn't need them. We tribe swapped and now I'm on a completely different tribe AND we won immunity this week. WHEW. Let's do first impressions on NuNadroj Jessica: She seems pretty cool. I know she was in an alliance with Ryan before so having her around is kind of nice because a) she can tell embarrassing stories bc they've met before, and b) that gives us a reason to put a target on her if we do lose the next challenge. Liam: I think I like Liam? He seems really cool and he's probably the person I've talked to the most since we swapped. I think I need to talk to him more to make sure that we work together when / if we lose a challenge in the future. Can't make it look like I'm scrambling when the time comes. Drew: I LOVE DREW. I was allied with Drew in a side season we played once and it was fun playing with him. We all flopped, so I'm hoping he doesn't hold that against me and we can try to work together on NuNadroj. Karen: Admittedly we ... did not get along that well on Senip. I'm not super happy that we're still on the same tribe. LA got along with Karen way better than I did but I'm hoping she'll want to stick together since we were both penises. Regan: I still don't know what to think about Regan. I think it'll be easier now that we're Jaidenless to try to work with Regan. Again, because we were both on Senip, I'm hoping she'll want to stick together to keep our numbers strong. Ruthie: RUTHIE! I also love Ruthie so this is great!! I'm hoping that potentially Drew, Ruthie, and myself ... or maybe Jessica or Liam could have an alliance?? I feel like it's too early to start throwing the idea around but I'm going to try to plant some seeds and see if we can make this happen.

At first when I swapped with Ruthie, I was like “oh no! The only person who didn’t say that they have a right alliance with me!” And I was worried she’d go against me. She still might do that but I don’t care because she’s so nice and I want only good things for Ruthie. This tribe is cool so far, I don’t know anyone well which is a really nice twist. That hasn’t happened for me in a while and I like playing with new people! I am worried because apparently Adam got voted out for having “too many friends”. This is hilarious, adam only has one friend, her name is samrah and she is not in this game. But it is worrying because we have basically the same connections so if people were worried about Adam, they are definitely worried about me! But anyways, who cares. I am putting more thought into this than I want to. I can’t believe I took the effort to make a confessional. Gross.

i am so glad we won! jaiden's score omg that was insane. I never thought anyone could get that good, i envy that alot. But that was amazing. Also glad to be on the same tribe as raffy! 

[moriarchythoughts]

7/25/17

well after my six day bender my body is punishing me. my fucking body aches are sooooooo bad rn and I just want drugs so I feel numb but I know this needs to end or else I will put myself as an addict with weeks/months worth of continuous use. I just know it. I've done it before. it's funny bc you do it to get rid of pain but once you do it for so long you need to keep doing it bc you're fucking addicted not that you're avoiding anything anymore. get the feel? so six days of avoiding whatever the fuck it was, a gallon of pain was dropped on me and I cried a fuckton tonight but I pulled an all nighter and I'm hoping to stay up today or at least take a nap at one point bc im already exhausted and it's 6 am. I have therapy at 6 tonight so once that's all and done with (don't get me wrong my phrasing sounded bad I'm actually mad close w my therapist and excited to go bc I nEeD mAjOr UnLoAdiNg dOnE) I'm going the fuck to bed. hope I just maybe eat?? idk if I want to yet today,, get dressed brush teeth maybe do something new and different?! spontaneity!! idk. I'm bored lol and being sober is weird. oh well. guess I'm trying the sober life again until some magic fairy comes along and brings me a new way to get fucked up that I didn't do before! jokes aside I'm really sad that I've gotten this bad but rn I'm just trying not to be too mad at myself and being nice and easy on my... me. lol. anyhow idk how I'm gonna occupy myself. I think a nice stay in bed will be enjoyable despite great urge to want a nap if done but I'll resist greatly. maybe I'll make art today or maybe I'll just say fuck it and be lazy besides my self care and only get dressed at fucking 5 o clock lol. who knows lets just go hour by hour bc I'm so tired and not just physically. this became an update post but I didn't intend to but whatever. did too much thinking tonight and it's almost good to be sober so that I can think. in a ways it's good but the power of mind is too much all at the same time bc hey I can overthink and be miserable and depressed and shit! idk. vacation in like 4 days (!!!! what!!!) tmrw I have my other therapy also dentist yay and Friday I see my nephew I think? anyhoots, I'm gonna be okay. side note, here's a happy thing! I think I taught one of our parrots how to whistle a certain way and he's been doing it mad loud for the past twenty minutes which I personally find adorable. he's a cutie bird. update over //

[fanfiction-mania]

Keep your Enemies Closer (Chapter 5)

p.o.v Rydel

i was describing why i loved amy without actually using her name so she wouldnt know it was her i was talking about. all of a sudden my eyes slowly trailed their way from her beautiful eyes to her amazing lips. the next thing you know there was absolutely no stopping me. thats when i risked it all. i kissed Amy. when i pulled away i stood there worried i would be rejected considering she looks shocked. Right when i thought she was going to say something mean and reject me kissed me back. this time it was a more passionate kiss. i guess we both kinda telepathically agreed to not let it get any further at the moment because we both pulled away at the same time. we were both breathless. "so what exactly does this make us?" i asked.

p.o.v Amy

"what exactly does that make us?" she asked semi awkwardly. "I don't know" I began. "I want to be with you but I don't want anyone to know and I think it would be best for the both of us that we stay on the down low for a while and I also think it will benefit our relationship" I said "I couldn't agree more" she replied as she leaned in for another kiss. I leaned in too and the second our lips touched I felt sparks fly through my entire body. We then pulled away and I said "I'm so happy to finally be yours." with that we realized it was really late and besides we have school in the morning. we got in our pyjamas and we both fell asleep. t being the first time in a long time that i fell asleep genuinely happy.

p.o.v Rose

i woke up the next morning wondering how Amy's sleepover with Rydel went. i quickly did my morning routine so that i would have some time to relax before having to catch the bus. when i finally got the chance to sit and relax i pulled out my phone and texted Amy. "how was the sleep over" replied a little slower than usual. i dont know if thats good or bad. " it was... interesting" she said. shortly after i got another text from her that said "kind of a long story, ill tell you at school" after I read that text so many possibilities soared through my head, both good and bad ones. Finally I got to school and went to my locker and got my things for my first class. After I got my things from my locker I went to mine and Amy's meeting place which is her locker. When Amy got to school she came up to me and before she could say anything I said "you have a lot of explaining to do!" she looked at me as if to say 'I know! I know!' she opened her locker and quickly grabbed her things. After she grabbed her things she turned around and said "you have to promise to not say anything about this to anyone." I looked at her a bit confused "who would I even tell?" I asked sarcastically. That's when I remembered something. "wait... Before you continue. Guess what?" I said hoping she won't get mad at me for interrupting her from telling me about her "interesting" sleep over at Rydel's house. "what!" she replied sounding surprisingly excited as apposed to irritated. "Joseph asked if I want to hang out!!!!!!!!" I practically screamed from excitement. "oh my god that's amazing!!!!!!!" she said sounding really excited for me.

P.o.v Amy

"oh my god that's amazing!!!!!!!" I said feeling really really excited for my best friend. "anyways back to what I was saying" I began. She then nodded to allow me to go on. "ok so you know how Rydel is usually a total bitch to me most of the time?" she nodded telling me she's aware that it used to happen. "well when I was at her house, her and her family were all so nice to me, I got hit on by her youngest brother Ryland, and here's where it gets interesting. So I ended up telling ryland that I was bi and that I love Rydel. It came as a bit of a shock to him and he was kind of hurt by it but everyone knows that the truth can hurt sometimes. Anyways not my point. My point is that well anyways I guess I didn't even have to tell you the ryland thing. My point is, when we all went to our rooms to go to sleep rydel and I went to her room and we stayed up for a good hour and a half longer talking and then eventually it led to her kissing me, me kissing back and well... Now we are together." I basically rambled. "wait! Woah woah woah! Hold up!"she practically yelled. I stopped rambling. "so you mean to tell me that she kissed you first and you're together now????" she whisper screamed in shock. "yeah!!!" I replied. "score!!!!!!!" she replied and then the warning bell went so we would head to our first class. Thank god my home room is drama!!!!!!

P.o.v Rydel

I walked into drama when all of a sudden I saw Amy. The first thing I wanted to do was go up to her and hug her and kiss her but I couldn't. Obviously because we are not public yet. The class went by really fast because I got just dance with the love of my life for the whole period. After drama was over I left to go to my next class. I headed off to science. Amy isn't in my science class but my friend Stevie from drama is. My science teacher is really nice and tends to let us choose our partners when we do a lab so that means Stevie and I can be partners most of the time. At first I was able to concentrate on my work like I always do but all of a sudden I just started zoning out and it got to the point where Stevie was bringing me back to reality like two times a minute at least. Eventually she just stopped trying to get work done and said "what is with you today! You are never like this" I looked at her really awkwardly and said " it's kind of a long story" she looked at me like I was crazy and didn't trust her which is not true. I trust her, I mean she's one of my best friends. And I bet you are wondering why I haven't told her yet. I haven't told her because Amy and I had agreed to keep this to ourselves and also I haven't had time to tell Stevie considering it literally all just kinda happened last night. Anyways I bet Amy has told at least one person so that gives me every right to do the same.

P.o.v Stevie

today in science we are doing a lab and our teacher usually lets us pick our partners so Rydel and i tend to be partners any chance we get. we began the lab and all of a sudden she kept zoning out. eventually i just got plain annoyed with constantly bringing her back to reality to the extent that i actually stopped trying to get work done and i said "what is with you today! You are never like this. she then looked at me and awkwardly said "its kind of a long story." i looked at her ads if the show that i thought she didn't trust me, and then said "i have time" with that she groaned and gave me the 'are you serious?' look one right after the other. "ok fine!" she said. " well u know how i always used to be kind of rude to amy?" she asked me "yeah?" i replied slightly confused considering i didn't have a single clue where she was going with this. "well anyways i know u already know that we were partnered up for drama" i looked at her still confused. "and your point is?" i asked. "i told you its a long story! im getting to it" i said. then continued my story. "ok well we went to my house yesterday to practise our dance routine and my mom offered for her to sleep over." she nodded for me to continue figuring that i wasnt done yet. "she had texted her mom asking if she could stay over and her mom said yes. after that we were talking about stuff and i happened to notice that ross and Ryland had snuck off to go talk about something else. i decided to follow them because it seemed kind of suspicious. they went into one of the little rooms in our basement and from what i heard ,Ryland had asked ross that if they play truth or dare to dare amy to kiss him. when i heard that i definitely felt hurt but of course me being the idiot that i am i ignored it. and throughout the game my brothers kept daring each other to kiss her..." i was literally taking in every single word that Rydel was saying when all of a sudden i decided to cut her off "so what you are telling me is that you are jealous of your brothers?" i asked finally feeling like i knew where this story was going. "thats part of it" she replied. "ok then continue; i said wanting to hear more. "ok so well they kept daring each other to kiss her and that feeling of hurt and jealousy came back and i don't even know why but i ignored it again. After that we decided to watch a movie. i was sitting with Ellington and i guess she thought we were into each other because she ran off crying. dont think she knew that anyone noticed but we all did. ryland told us that would talk to her. knew he had it under control but i wanted to see what was up anyways so i went and eves dropped again. after their long conversation i quickly ran back and sat next to Ellington before either Amy or Ryland knew i was eves dropping. when they came back we watched the rest of the movie and hen went to bed. as far as i know everyone else was asleep. Amy and i stayed up in my room and kept talking and eventually i told her that i didnt realize it until that moment that i was bisexual." my mind continued to soak up all of this new information. " and then the next thing you know i couldnt stop myself" she continued. "i kissed her and then before i even got the chance to apologize for what i did she kissed me back" she finished her incredibly long story, finally. "so are you two a thing?" i asked my rambling friend. "long story short yes we are together." i looked at her with that kind of durp face that you make when you see something really cute like a puppy or a baby. "awwwwwww thats sooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!!" i said and then the bell rang for lunch.

[survivorjohto]

Ep. 10: “Who Better To Fuck Shit Up Than Despairsaac?” - Isaac

MADE MERGE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PI HALLELUJAH

I want CP SOOOOOOO 

 Im ready for this merge because the villains? Mostly dead to me. Like I love Isaac, Karen, and Jordan M. But DO I TRUST THEM?!?!?!?!! FUck that no they can go. But do I trust any heroes? Duncan, I trust him. I'm hoping there's a way Jordan Pines and I can get with a few heroes and vote the middle and get our way. I just don't know.gif

Okay, so I made merge!  Yay me!  This is the first time I made merge as myself without having to return in a redemption twist.  Thank GOD.  And Allison won Malibu? True kink!  Honestly, had Andrew or Carson won, I woulda been happy, but I (proudly) voted for Allison twice, so it was like a mini-victory right there, especially considering the only time I didn't vote in the minority post-merge in Malibu was when I got Luke, my one shot at not fucking everything up, voted out. l o l 

 Anyway, I don't really trust anyone on the villains side, but I love my hero guys.  They're beautiful and faves, and I will trust them for now. :,) I know Drew and Billy 100% will have my back, and I assume Duncan, too... Mitch will be loyal to Billy, but he tried to throw my name out to Ash last vote sooo... don't really trust 'im!!!  I'm his 5th, and that does NOT make me happy. 

 I can't win this game, but I will try my hardest to make it to the end.  What we need to do is play up using the villains that wanna flip.  We need to make them think we have a clear target, so even if the vote goes 5-4-1, we still have majority as heroes.  And in the case of this "sapphire idol", the person with 1 vote goes.

I love tea, especially when it's scalding tea.

 Billy told me that Isaac told him that he used this power revealer, and now Billy knows that Mitch has a super idol.  Ugly?  Yea.  That means we can't really touch Mitch, which wasn't a plan right now anyway, but he does need to be the first of the 5 to go, in my opinion.  Like he can't be around.  If he uses it on someone like me or Billy or Drew or Duncan, aka any of the other heroes, I mean... we should survive the round, and we should have numbers because they won't be able to out-do a super idol, so????  I don't know why he has to be so fake unless it was in case we blindsided him pre-merge which LOL wish I coulda done. 

 He already threw my name out there for Ash last vote, so I'm not surprised if he wants me at the bottom of the 5.  That's weird that he's like that considering how I'm the WEAKEST member of the 5, and he has people like Drew and Billy, who are both strong in the game (Drew for physical strength and Billy for strategic value), who he won't betray because... of reasons I don't know.  No matter what, we should be getting through this round okay, but.... I gotta hold out some hope.  It better not be my name that comes up.

Ok so we merged and I hope the villains can destroy the heroes because the villains are better and will always be ;3 also I hope our plan with the idol works and the villains get numbers but I don't know if it will work

Honestly, the Villains sound like one messy ass tribe.  Not saying the Heroes are any better, but like... they're in 2 factions, and they just want the Heroes gone first... like Y I K E.  I hope they try to use me .3. 

Fuck I'm probably talking too much 

They're probably gonna beat me up for thinking too far ahead like I did in Sri Lanka I'm so dumb dslkfjsdlkfsd 

me: I should stop talking 

me 5 minutes later: 

GUYS WHY DID THEY PUT A LINK TO JOHTO IN THE IMMUNITY POST http://i.imgur.com/N1lx7db.png 

So I've been contemplating flipping for the past few days. The only issue is that Jordan Pines is unwilling to flip unless a hero is voted out. And Duncan doesn't want to do that. 

 The ultimate problem is I've said to the heroes I trust that I want to flip. If I don't flip I'm going to become the person who always says they'll flip and then doesn't. And look where that got me in Malaysia. However I will still be badly perceived if I flip alone. I feel like if two people make a flip it's seen as a big move, but if only one person does, they're a flipper.

 I just don't trust Karen and Isaac at all. They've been after me since the start. And I'm certainly ready to make my move, but I'm not sure if it's viable yet.

1:20 AM. Time for a confessional. 

So voting out Ash was kind of hard. It sucks that I ended up on a tribe with people who are early premerge boots, because I felt even worse about reinforcing the fact that that's almost where they're destined to stay? Although Chrissa made FTC in another game, Brandon got pretty far in Canary, and Ash got 4th jury member in PI All stars. I hate that they had to die for our sins, but there's not much I can do if I don't want the vote turning on me. Speaking of the vote turning on me, I'm so grateful and amazed that I didn't get a single vote for me premerge. I knew being positive and being useful to my tribe would give them a good impression of how trustworthy I can be, but I didn't think it would work that well. People just kind of go along with what I say and it's nice. I feel like the heroes trust me, and I trust them. I hope in my heart of hearts that's the truth, but you never know when Billy or Brian or Drew will decide it's not a good idea to let me near the end. 

So merge happens, and the heroes immediately decide we need to make an alliance chat to discuss votes, which is great. I'm glad Drew took the initiative on that. I feel like Ash's unanimous vote really made us a cohesive unit, and we drop tea, discuss votes, it's a cute community. Our first night we discussed how this vote might go, and about all the legendaries that have been caught and all the powers that go with them. We learned Jordan had Entei and a vote burn and used it on Karen, Jay has a Suicune and the power to freeze someone's vote (we're not sure what that means), and Jordan also has Lugia and a sapphire idol. We don't know where Raikou is or what it really does (Billy was kinda vague about that, suspicious maybe?), Celebi apparently had nothing, and the heroes speculated on what Ho-oh could have.

 Of course I already know what Ho-oh has. Speculation happened on what it could be, so I pretended to have this moment of grand realization where Ho-oh has a super idol because it's a phoenix and it symbolizes rebirth. That and several other comments probably strongly hinted that I have it, but as far as I know, Billy and Brian didn't think much of it. However, I did know that Drew and Duncan could pick up on what I said because I told them Ho-oh gave me an idol before. Drew figured it out pretty quickly, Duncan took some guidance (he's been really tired lately, I hope work isn't dragging him through the mud.) I don't regret letting them know either; Duncan is my #1 ally as always, but Drew knowing I have the super idol means he can't turn on the heroes (me) without getting caught. I'm pretty sure he's smart enough to figure that out. It's an olive branch and a warning. 

 This super idol is my ticket to defending myself or defending the heroes, and I'm super glad I have it, because I think I'm the person with the most potential to use it in a game-changing way. Everyone knows I'm a threat, but everyone is focusing on other people to take out at the moment. That's not to say I'm getting out of this tribal with votes, I'm guaranteed at least one for sure, but I think some things are changing with the villains that can give the heroes and I the upper hand. I want the heroes' success, more than my own. As long as a hero wins this game, I can come out of this game feeling like I did something, which is bring my tribe to victory. I dread having to turn on each other at final 5 (ideally) because I know my ass is probably grass at that point unless I beat Drew for immunity. Or I could vote him out before then and not worry, but we just don't know.gif 

Ahh, I'm suddenly thinking about Final Tribal Council. I feel like I have a good shot to go really far with this super idol. Can you imagine me getting to the end without having to use a super idol? I'd be a nicer and more likable Tony Vlachos. That's an ugly comparison. I already feel more narcissistic. 

Anyway, let's move on to merge. The heroes are a tight group of 5 (Five Guys Burgers and Furgers Drew calls it) and the villains are something else. They seem like they're all over the place, and not as kumbaya as the heroes are (seem to be?) Within the first 2 hours of merge, Jay immediately comes to me and starts spilling tea like a clumsy butler wearing greased loafers. He tells me Jordan has a Sapphire Idol, that Lily, Karen, and Isaac have been targeting him since Stevie's vote-off, that he has a Suicune, and that he desperately wants to vote off Karen or Isaac, to the point that he's willing to join the heroes' camp to do it, and that he'll even drag Jordan Pines over with him. Score one for the heroes I guess. 

 AH yes, so let's expand on this a bit. Jay wants to create a heroes/villains alliance of me, Jay, Jordan, Drew, and Duncan (OK, assume whenever I say 'Jordan' from now on, assume it's Pines. Means is a sleeping fish who doesn't do anything socially) While I'm not opposed to the idea, the thought of turning on Brian and especially Billy makes my stomach flip. I'll let Jay and Jordan believe this alliance is legit, but ultimately I'm going to let my gut decide this much later. 

Of course, Jordan Pines complicates things like he always does. His existence in this game... basically scares the shit out of people. Billy is dead afraid Jordan will beat him again, while Jordan proudly announces on call that he wants to vote out Billy purely because he's about to have played more days than him in PI (Billy was not on call, 'twas Isaac, Drew, him, and myself.) Brian probably just feels whatever Billy feels? Duncan doesn't want to deal with him. I think Drew stands where I stand. 

 Where do I stand with Jordan Pines? Mutual respect. Sure he can be a bit off the wall, hell I'm scared of his unpredictability at times. But the very first time I met Jordan Pines, I went toe to toe with him and won, even knowing his chaotic background. That's not to say he can't kick my ass too, quite the contrary. But he and I are challenge rivals, puzzle rivals, we're like two sides of the same coin. I'm playing the heroes game, loyalty and all. He's playing the villains game, trickery and chaos. And I can respect him for that. And in a weird way, I think it would make us a powerful duo to be reckoned with. Of course, in an ideal situation he'd be a meat shield (Why vote off the person who has showered you with love and support over Jordan Pines, who is known to deceive and trick like he was born doing it [or so he says]) but for now I think he could be an incredible ally for the heroes. 

 Is this what he does? Does he brainwash people with mutual respect? I always hear people saying he's always condescending, but he and I don't have that banter? It's strange, I can read him and yet I can't describe him. The thing is, I have been blindsided by Jordan Pines before (not in Survivor, TAR rather) and I have also blindsided him (by turning his ego against him, Happy Jordan Pines Day) So I feel like I have a sense of when Jordan strikes. Right now I think he's telling the truth about wanting to vote out Karen/Isaac, but I'm very on the fence, like 55% truth, 45% lies. Like, look at this conversation, this is the beginning of our talk today: 

[3/6/2017 7:50:44 PM] Jordan Pines: hey how did you do on immunity for johto btw? 

[3/6/2017 7:51:09 PM] Mitch: To be quite honest, I saw it was a flash game and kinda gave up hope knowing you were playing it lmao 

[3/6/2017 7:51:16 PM] Mitch: I only had 3 hours to do it anyway

 [3/6/2017 7:51:26 PM] Jordan Pines: okay thats incredible i was debating giving up assuming you would do the same 

[3/6/2017 7:51:33 PM] Jordan Pines: cause flash games are between me you and drew realistically

 [3/6/2017 7:51:38 PM] Jordan Pines: but i ended up playing for a decent while [3/6/2017 7:51:40 PM] Jordan Pines: so i hope i win 

[3/6/2017 7:51:54 PM] Mitch: I wouldn't be surprised if you did honestly Me? Scaring Jordan Pines into almost quitting immunity? Holy shit. Wow I did not mean to turn this into 3 paragraphs of me being confused over Jordan Pines. Anyway. So right now I think the vote is in a weird spot. Everyone's afraid of merge votes. The sapphire idol is in (arguably) the most chaotic player's hands (And he's actually afraid to use it! That's amazing to me, that an idol's power is keeping him from doing something with it) and he's immune. Of course this could be a facade and Jordan's going to play the idol while he's immune to eliminate the risk of him getting voted out with it. See? I'm already confused about this, ANYWAY. The heroes are 5 strong, we need a direction to go in. I think turning the vote toward Isaac would be smarter, according to Duncan he's better at challenges than Karen. If Jay votes with us, we could easily have 6-4, and if Jordan joins in, 7-3. The alternative is splitting the vote in case Jordan plays the sapphire idol for fun. 6-3-1, 5-3-2, 5-4-1, so many possibilities. I'll wait for new information to come tomorrow before talking it over with the heroes. I'm excited for the possibilities of this vote, because I'm not gonna be merge boot one way or another. Praise the Ho-oh. 3:20 AM. I got distracted with videos about the Switch. 

Oh, here's a quick assessment of the villains. 

Isaac - Went on call with me, Jordan, and Drew, and proceeded to spill small but crucial details about the villains tribe dynamic, talking about Karen and Isaac's votes for Jay out of fear of the sapphire idol. An interesting character, but I think he could gain ground if he goes farther. Ideally he goes home now. 

Karen - Surprisingly quiet, hasn't messaged me with a "Bitchell" yet. I'd like for her to go sooner than later, for voting Jay, but also forgetting to vote in Palau and sending me home in the process. (I know, I told myself I'd seperate games, but come on, she had ONE job.) 

Jordan M - Listen, the only thing I know about this kid is how many memes he spreads in the tribe chat. He's playing almost no different than he did in Hawaii, I'm surprised he's lived this long without falling off a cliff. He votes early and goes to bed like always. Ideally? I'd give him 8th place again, only this time I'd actually be voting for him. 

Jordan Pines - Please just read what I already wrote. I've talked about him enough. 

Jay - One of my best friends in the community, but I have played TWO games with him now and being aligned with him has screwed me over very badly. I'm not looking to repeat that. I love him to death, but I will vote him out in a heartbeat (Sorry Jay, please forgive me if I do anything nasty to you in the future) However, he is a CRUCIAL source of knowledge, and he clearly trusts me enough to come with it in the first two hours of being on a tribe. I will certainly use my connection with him as much as I can before letting Billy and Brian eat him or something.

 Current Pokemon Team: Cardamom the Crobat with a vote reveal Vec the Tyranitar Klaus the Deliberd Shimmer the Ho-Oh with a super idol Dawn the Sunflora Bloom the Bellossom Badges obtained: Zephyr Badge Hive Badge Plain Badge Fog Badge Storm Badge Gonna clocc Jasmine with Shimmer/I might pick up a fighting type Gonna clocc Pryce with Shimmer/Dawn/I might pick up a fighting type Gonna clocc Clair with Klaus/I should get a Dragon type?? 

I love messy bitches with messy plans, considering I'm the messiest bitch usually and have the messiest plans usually.

 I need more info because otherwise I'm a chicken without my head, and that's of no use.

It's finally that time... we merged. And as soon as it happened I turned by back on the original five guys. Karen Isaac and I made a pact that we are getting Jordan out ASAP. We have Drew and Brian with us, who are also two people I trust more than anything.

 I also found the merge idol. So I guess I am as good as I thought.

 Jay has suicune, and Isaac found out about Mitch's super idol. So now I know where all the power lies. And we're going to have them wasted.

 ISAAC DID THAT AND EXPOSED IT AND NOW JORDAN IS TRYING TO SAPHIRE IDOL ME OUT. YOU THOUGHT HUH? We're breaking the Saphire Idol tonight. And jay should be the one leaving. Plus if it is me, I have all my advantages. If I sense anything funny I'm playing my idol. I'm not fucking around. Jordan WILL NOT beat me this game. No way, not this way.

 Plus once Mitch sees that their plan wasn't what we said it was, he'll be with us 100%. No more Jay to feed him false information. 

 Jordan has every reason to be scared of me. I'm not a light player. But yo come after me this way, after I just dealt with all this shit in my personal life is a low blow. So get fucked. You better hope you win all of the immunities from here on out. Because you're GONE next chance with no idol to save you.  And I know you have none, because I have the only two real idols and Mitch has the super idol. Surprise bitch.

hehehehehehehehehhe - my thoughts about tonights vote if it works boooooooooooooooooo - my thoughts about tonights vote if it fails

Okay so we've merged which is fun and I'm in an alliance with Karen, Drew, Brian, and Billy and we're working together to fuck shit up™ And I thought to my gay self "Who better to fuck shit up than Despairsaac?" So I let him out and he exposed Mitch having items and now everyone knows about all the powers in the game with the exception of Jay having suicune and Billy having Raikou. Honestly this vote is so messy I can't put into words the strategy that's gone behind it. It's just fugly.

How does it feel to be in a game full of powers with absolutely zero powers? Pretty good. Pretty good. Anyway I'm so ready to die. Maybe Mitchy will save me with his super idol, probably not.

ok so ill gve u a summary of today: 

-villains come up with a 3-1-1 plan in which billy and mitch are both the ones and billy gets elimed 

-me billy isaac add drew and brian to our alliance -i scream 

-billy brian and drew all tell me the jp and jay have told them that theyre on the bottom, in which i yell bc its not realistic like what kind of crack 

-jp comes up with the plan to say that him and jay will "flip" on the 5-5 revote that the heroes think will happen 

-jay basically reveals that hes close with duncan and mitch 

-isaac exposes mitch about the super idol and vote revealer 

-everyone pretends to be (me billy and the others in the alliance)

 -the villains try to work the vote bc of the super idol -it is confirmed that mitch and duncan are gonna be voting for me billy comes up with a 3-3-2-1-1 in which i get 3 votes, frank gets 3 votes, jay gets 2 billy gets 1 and mitchum gets 1, hopefully this plan works with and without the sapphire idol being played, i should be kept if the vote ties and jay gets clocct with the sapphire idol if jp does play it 

-isaac is gonna expose jay? 

-tribal is happenin and im gonna be sicc

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH