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#im also not gonna read through it so mistakes are bound to be made
ncteez · 1 year
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Menace (m.yg)
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When you learn of a hostage within the confines of the abandoned apartment building downtown, you weren’t expecting it to be Min Yoongi, the most wanted man in the country by gangs and policemen alike.  or the one where yoongi wasn’t prepared to be stuck in a situation with his own enemy, nor was he prepared to be kept alive by and ultimately infatuated with one that calls herself Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend. 
ao3 | m.lists | leave feedback and reblog to give gangster yoongi a boner. 
minors do not interact. 
WORDCOUNT― 11k
PAIRING― gangster!yoongi x afab reader
CONTENT― yoongi is mad that he has to be submissive sexually, smut, grotesque descriptions of blood and gore, food mentions, you’re still really soft despite being surrounded by killers. FYI: the use of the word brother in this fic is not indicating that the characters are blood related.
SIDE CHARACTERS― namjoon as the leader of a gang and also your boyfriend, jungkook as a fellow gang member on your end. 
WARNINGS― namjoon is fucking awful, yoongi is a lil mean but still a big softie, intense descriptions of starvation, torture methods, and broken fingers, mentions of suicide, mentions of r*pe (in passing), mentions of killing methods like drowning, stabbing, shooting, catching on fire. fr, this fic is very unsavory but they still fuck so, take that as you will. 
NOTE― listen. this started as a different idea and ended as this so, fr,  don’t even read it. if you do, just be aware that I am not responsible for the content you consume, i’m just responsible for being down bad enough to write it :) if you send me an off hand message you will be blocked for not knowing how to avoid content you don’t like. bye  (p.s. we are just gonna pretend that people do not need to use the bathroom in this fic bc im not about to find a work around to let this man relieve himself. no piss or shit will be mentioned in this fic or in any of my fics ever. thanks.) 
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags :: pain, making out, frottage, biting, dirty talk, mocking, uh….getting turned on by the idea of Namjoon dying, unprotected sex, cream pie, mentions of eating pussy, mentions of multiple orgasms
~
The leaking ceiling was somehow nicer sounding than the one in his apartment, and his bruised ribs feel less painful now that he’s laid here for three days on the cold and molded floor. Plenty of time to heal, plenty of time to think, and plenty of time to build up a distinct type of rage within his body. 
If he hadn’t made that tiny mistake, he would be at the shop surrounded by faces that are sworn to protect him. He would be swimming in money, women, and eating only the finest delicacies this city has to offer. But no, he had to trust the wrong fucking person. 
It was impressive actually, that the man going by the name of “John” managed to slip through the cracks. Yoongi grew fond of him quickly, especially with how eager the newcomer was to kill and maim not only alongside him, but for him without a single doubt. 
He should have known that he was experienced, especially with the way he killed, with the way he drank, with the way he fucked every woman accepted in the confines of the hideout. He should have known that he was in a gang already, and that said group had been out to get him for years.
Jungkook was his real name. A man who had been given endearing nicknames from both himself and other high-ranking men within this gang. He answered most to the name of “Jojo”, looking Yoongi dead in the eye with vicious intent and loyalty. He was a good liar, better than himself, apparently.
Yoongi really messed up, learning the truth only when he was met with Namjoon, face to face and battered up black and blue before being restrained and left in this unknown location. Naturally, there is a type of rage within him right now that could kill a large sum of men in one breath. 
Unfortunately, he can’t. His wrists have been bound in the same position for three days, and he has still been unable to unbind them. His legs are numb from the stomping, but still working through the intense pain of his attempts at slithering across the floor to find a new spot on the cold ground. 
The room is empty, there is nothing save for a chair in the corner and a doorknob that remains locked. There is only a single window, both the walls and floor are concrete and cinderblocks, and the only sound he’s heard since his last broken finger cracked through his ears, is the sound of that fucking water dripping. 
He lifts his head, only to drop it back to the floor in a huff. Not quite in a sound of defeat, but more so a sound of frustration. Surely the men who did this have already been killed, surely his loyal friends are searching for him. Surely–
A new sound. 
Yoongi can barely comprehend hearing something other than the slow and consistent drip, drip, drip of the ceiling leaking just a few feet from him. He’s grown weak within the three days he spent here, delirious even. No food and only those very drips of water to quench his sore and dried out throat. That sound is familiar though, and his drowsy eyes can hardly make sense of it. 
Then another new sound. Something clicking. Echoing through these empty walls and meshing with the two other sounds, creating a new song in his head that somehow seems like bliss. 
He thinks hard about the tune in his head, wondering if it’s similar to a song he knows, or if he’s just going insane from the feeling of his stomach both healing and starving. It is too much sensation for him, as he curls up in a pathetic little ball of a person and wonders what the others would think to see him like this.
He lays there, thinking about those sounds becoming louder and louder before his eyes shoot open in realization.
Those are footsteps.
An immediate headache hits him when he forces his body up, sitting uncomfortable on the floor with his arms still twisted behind his back. He stares at the door in wait, wondering if it’ll be his brothers bursting through, or an enemy. 
When that door opens though, his face twists similar to the way it did when he was getting held down and his fingers snapped to the side. 
“F-” he tries to say upon seeing Jungkook for the first time since it all went down, but his throat is too dry to speak and he coughs instead. 
“Happy to see me?” Jungkook smiles, stepping to the side to reveal another person with him. 
Yoongi glares, not paying attention even the slightest to the person standing just behind him. That clicking sound matched her shoes, so pristine against this dirty floor. He doesn’t dare speak again, as his eyes trail down to the gun in Jungkook's hand, and then shift to the side at the plastic bag in her hand. 
He can make out a bottle, and possibly, food. He won’t grove for it though, no. 
~
“Damn, you guys really fucked  him up. I never thought you actually caught him.” You smile in an uneasy way, walking back alongside Jungkook and making your way out of the building. 
“Told you we got him. Namjoon seemed really pleased, you think he’s finally going to let me into the circle?” Jungkook’s shining eyes somehow seem innocent with that question as you look at him. 
“If he wasn’t fond of you, he wouldn’t have let you escort me here,” You start, lowering your sunglasses from your head to your eyes to avoid the bright sunlight once you step outside. “He would have brought me himself. You’re already in.”
“You certainly complained enough wanting to see, I was shocked he even let you this time, even more shocked that he asked me to bring you.” 
Jungkook smiles again, wanting to pat himself on the back for his hard and dedicated work to Namjoon. He’s a harsh man but one that he wants on his side nonetheless. If this is going to be his life he’d rather be sitting in the room drinking expensive liquor than out running the streets and committing petty crimes. 
This was his deal and he knew for a fact that he wouldn’t fuck it up again. He was very nearly kicked out, and by kicked out, he means killed by Namjoon himself. Why? Well, as experienced as he is at killing, fighting, and being an asshole, he wasn’t too experienced with smuggling substances across country lines. 
He got it easy though, thankfully being caught by one of them that resides within the government factions. Then again, that man ran straight to Namjoon and complained on his name, stating that they were all at risk of being caught if it wasn’t for the nim-witted officer he was stationed with that night. 
Started off well enough, Jungkook coughed the wrong way and his hands shook slightly. The officer immediately wanted to search the vehicle. Thankfully, one of theirs took over, and what did he find? Exactly what was he knew would be there.
Namjoon was pissed at the situation. Hauling Jungkook in as if he were one of their hostages, towering above him on the floor and tipping his head back with the heel of his expensive boot. 
“What should I do with you now?” Namjoon said to him, huffing in a gutteral way out of frustration. “You’re telling me you can kill three men without breaking a sweat but you can’t get through a security check without shivering in fear?!” 
Jungkook knows better than to speak, he simply nods. 
“You’re lucky it went down the way it did, and you’re lucky your cousin put in a good word for you.” Namjoon continued, crouching down to Jungkook’s level on the floor and looking him in the eye. “If you fuck this one up, you’re done.” 
Honestly, he couldn’t believe the kindness Namjoon gave to him. He’s known for having a temper, and he’s known for being unforgiving, but he got a second chance, and he wasn’t going to fuck that up. 
That deal was to run off and act much like he did while trying to smuggle those drugs. Be a puppy for another gang, get close, get in with the crowd, and then get Min Yoongi. The man who killed Namjoon’s closest brother  some four years ago. His grudge never left, and unfortunately, Yoongi was very nearly untouchable. 
Jungkook did his duty, and now, he’s in. The girlfriend of Namjoon himself said so and with that, he can’t help but feel proud when he sees that man suffering in the room alone. He can’t help but be happy as he escorts you back to Namjoon. Truly, he can’t help it. 
“We can’t just starve him.” You argue another three days after you last saw proof of the man confined in that abandoned building. 
“This is why I forbid you from seeing the hostages. ” Namjoon tries not to argue with you, but it’s gotten to the point that you really just need to sit down and shut up about it. “He killed the only other man I could trust, and you want me to give him a fucking menu?” 
“Well, no but,” You start, but Namjoon cuts you off. 
“That’s enough. If you’re so worried about him tell Jungkook to swing by with some dog food.” 
You look to the floor with a short nod, knowing for a fact that this is just the way it goes. You figured your boyfriend would want to strangle the man with his bare hands rather than let him rot away slowly. There’s too many opportunities for Yoongi to be found there, and far too many variables in the situation. The least he can have is a meal before he dies, right? 
Then again, you know you’re quite soft despite the lifestyle you live. Min Yoongi is not a good man, but he is still a man. You’re a bit curious about him too. He was kind of cute even as he sat on that floor battered, so those rumors about him being easy on the eyes were true. Not that a scale of attractiveness really matters, considering he’s killed people from this family with a smile on his face. 
You think hard that night, alone in bed as Namjoon probably mingles around the club he recently took control of. Imagining how awful the hostage must feel, all alone in the dark. It  has you thinking a bit too hard about what it means to be human. You know where that apartment building is, and you know where the nearest convenience store is. Jungkook already knows you tried to feed him once and it didn’t work (because Yoongi kicked it across the floor out of spite.), so you’re unsure of how it would go down if you went alone.
Still, it’s not like you’d be in any danger, not when you grab one of the guns and slide it into an empty purse. 
~
Arriving at the building feels scarier than it did when Jungkook was with you. It’s dark, and you can hear creaking as the wind picks up and rain begins to fall. Still, you take a deep breath and rush inside with another offer of food. 
You follow your footsteps from before. Left, left, down a flight of stairs, right, and left. The hallway that contains his prison feels much longer than before, and the sound of rain is nearly muted at this point. You feel as if you’re buried deep within a tomb, with a flashy and loud bag of snacks for a man that killed your boyfriend’s brother. 
It feels silly, but you still think you could at least try to communicate with him. However stupid this decision is, you pay no mind.
When you get to the door, the room is so dark and quiet that you wonder if you either picked the wrong room or he’s dead already. Still, you flip on the flashlight you grabbed and place it on the chair in the corner, shining it directly at the man lying on the floor. 
You take a moment to look around and smile slightly when you notice the food he kicked from him before has been eaten. Surely that pack of crackers and bottled water wasn’t enough, but it’s all Jungkook would let slide without fearing for his life again. 
“Hi.” You say in a peppy voice, seemingly in a much better spot than he is and accidentally making it more obvious. 
Yoongi groans, rolling over to look at you briefly before letting his head fall back to the floor. 
“I brought food again. There’s more this time.” You smile when you say it, shaking the bag as if Yoongi truly were a dog that would jump and do tricks for the food. “It’s against the rules, and I’m not supposed to be here so I suggest you fucking appreciate it this time.”
He rolls his eyes as he lies there, weak and hardly able to move. He does try though, more willing now to grovel, more willing to do just about anything for food so he can at least get his thoughts straight. 
You watch him struggle to sit up, and only now realize that he really is dying. He’s actually starving and probably can’t simply appreciate the food if he doesn’t have the energy to even hold his head up. 
“Do you need some help?” You ask, walking around and shining the light at his face.
You’re taken aback by his eyes. They’re dull and lifeless as he gives a small nod. You can see that he’s silently pleading. 
“Ah, right. Starvation and all that.” You say with a pained laugh, grabbing the bag and scooting it next to him before crouching down and trying to lift him up.
His body is horrendously lightweight, and something inside of you twists at the feeling of him slumped in your arms. You hold him there, listening to his pained groans as you glance around the room and start to drag him. 
“Here, sit up,” You say, propping him against the wall and going back for the bag. “I’ve got two sandwiches, two bottles of water, and an ibuprofen.”
You see his pained and choked chuckle at the mention of an ibuprofen, as if that’s a bandaid for the immense amount of anguish he’s been feeling. Still, he relishes in the feeling of another person being near him. The energy alone helps him keep his eyes open. 
“Can you chew?” You ask, looking at him as you unwrap a sandwich and try to place it against his lips. “Um,” 
You feel defeated seeing someone in this state so closely. Regardless of what he’s done, you feel pity and slight disgust of his treatment. No wonder Namjoon forbids you most of the time from meeting hostages or looking at crime scenes as if it were a zoo for your entertainment. 
“You must feel awful,” You whisper, trying again to push the sandwich past his lips. “Can you eat this for me?” 
He tries. Opening his mouth and feeling the sensation of taste. His mouth waters and burns at the sudden feeling, drool running out of the sides of his lips as he tries to work up the energy to chew. His throat is too dry to swallow though, and he chokes on the barely chewed piece of sandwich.
You’re quick to grab a bottle of water and tilt his head back. You grab his cheeks and hold his head steady and his mouth open, pouring a bit of the water into his mouth and watching how long it takes for him to swallow both the food and the water. 
“God, I know I should be hating you but this really is pitiful.” You comment, feeling as if you’re already talking to a corpse.
In a way you are, and you hate it. So maybe, knowing that Namjoon intends to leave this man here unbothered and unfed until he’s dead, surely you can…you know…help the situation.
~
On one end, you’re betraying an entire gang of men and women who have protected you for years. You’re betraying your boyfriend, the leader of that gang, but…humanity still exists within you. Since that night, feeding a viscous killer, you couldn’t stop thinking of the state he was in.
You knew Namjoon was a killer but he never let you see that side of him. You saw Yoongi once three days after his capture and he still looked alive and well despite being heavily beaten. And just those three days later, you saw how much the world seemed to have forgotten him.
You have heard whispers of the rival gang searching for him, but they have been met with no luck. You appear to be his only saving grace, which is a terrifying place to have put yourself in. Still, if they’re going to kill him, you’d rather they just shoot him in the head and leave it at that. 
You’re meddling where you shouldn’t be, and you still have no idea why you feel compelled to do it. 
On the other end, you find yourself in deep shit when you continue to visit Yoongi late at night to essentially undo what your boyfriend has ordered. You notice how far you’ve gone when Yoongi can start talking, when he can start moving, when his eyes brighten up a little more, when his cheeks become fuller. 
The moment you see him, with faded bruises and still swollen fingers, you wonder what he looked like without being so fucked up. His face is still pretty, even when he was on the verge of death, and here you are watching him appreciate that you, an enemy, continue to keep him alive.
“He’s going to kill you for this, you know.” Yoongi comments, eating away at the meal you’ve brought him this time. “Feeding me so often. I’m pretty sure they were leaving me here to die.”
“They were.” You huff, sitting on the wooden chair and watching the way his energy grows. “I figure if I get caught, I’ll just kill you first and then myself.”
“Bold,” He ticks his tongue, still not looking away from the food in front of him. “I can imagine they think I’m already dead.” 
A wave of cold fear hits you. That’s right. Surely by now, he would be dead, and surely they’d come check and hide the body or something. But no one has shown up, no one but you. You can imagine that by now, they’re probably planning to come see him, and seeing him alive and well would pose questions. Lots of questions.
Thankfully, no one notices when you leave at night. You never leave when Namjoon stays with you, and you never make yourself suspicious either. If they have any questions, they certainly wouldn’t expect you to be the one to answer them.
“So, why’d you kill him?” You ask, wondering if you can at least learn some information about him before all of this comes crashing down around him.
“Kill who? I’ve killed a lot of people, most of them I don’t even know their names.” He laughs, narrowing his eyes at you. “Who are you, anyway?”
You pause. He’s still a dead man despite that beating heart so telling him wouldn’t change a thing, you assume. You give him your name and follow up with your title.
“You’re dating that pompous asshole? You know what he did to my family, right?” Yoongi looks at you with a face you hadn't seen before. There’s a lot of hate behind it as he sneers at you. 
“I don’t, no. But I can imagine he probably killed them, right?”
Yoongi nods with a grimace, for the first time losing his appetite. It’s laughable, really. 
“If you’re referring to his friend, I shot him. It was a quick death. But do you know what he did to my friends?” He continues with an evil smirk, as if telling you will hurt you as much as he’s been hurt. 
You shake your head, breathing in deeply at the images in your head.
“Well, you saw what he was doing to me. I’m shocked he was being so kind with my demise.” 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, both curious and afraid to actually learn what he means.
“Have you ever seen what happens to a body after they’ve been floating in murky water for a week?” 
You shake your head.
“Have you ever heard the snap of a neck?” 
You again, shake your head.
“Well, isn’t that nice?” He laughs, now gaining his appetite back. “Both of those things, I'd love to do to your boyfriend.” 
His eyes flick up to meet yours, and for some reason, you don’t shiver.
“Are you saying those are things he’s done?” You ask, genuinely curious. 
“Well, yeah. Most of us have. But him. He’s particularly brutal, likes to send us videos, y’know? I bet you’ve never watched the only person you’ve ever loved get doused in gasoline and set on fire either, have you?”
You freeze, another chill running down your body. Namjoon did that? Like, you knew killing was part of it but you really expected a typical gunshot or stabbing. This, this is something else. Given, you watched him starve the man in front of you so, should it be as shocking as it is? 
But it is, because he did this to someone’s girlfriend? You’re his girlfriend, and by doing that to Yoongi, surely that put a hit on your head. 
“He’s not so pretty in your head now, huh?” Another laugh. 
“Is that why you killed him?” You ask, trying to avert the attention to someone other than Namjoon. 
“No. Unfortunately, I was the one who did the first hit. But to be fair,” Yoongi twists his wrists bound behind him and tilts his head in a playful way. “He did some unsavory things to that same person I loved.” 
Unsavory things. You can’t imagine what that could be outside of, well, rape. Namjoon’s best friend, his brother, raped Yoongi’s girlfriend. And then Namjoon set her on fire in retaliation? 
“Why are you so quiet now?” Yoongi asks, finishing off his food with little to no hesitation and staring at the water. “Not too happy to learn that I’m not the only piece of shit you seem to cling to?”
You take offense to that, eyes trailing to that same bottle of water he’s looking at. 
“Fuck you.” You say, standing from your place and grabbing that bottle of water, opening it, and pouring it out on the floor in front of him. “If you're thirsty, there, have at it.” 
You don’t even look at him when you turn and walk away, locking the door and promising yourself that you won’t come back. There’s no way Namjoon did those things, and you’re not fucking clinging. 
~
Fortunately for Yoongi, no one unsavory shows up two days later. It’s you again, reluctantly stepping in with his delivery of food and energy. 
“Here I was thinking you wouldn’t come back.” He laughs, scooting from the wall and toward you. By now his legs are feeling better, and he can even move some of his fingers, which is very lucky because he really thought they had been twisted. 
“You’re lucky I did.” You deadpan, walking up to him and looking down. “I learned that maybe you’re not much of a liar, are you?” 
He tilts his head at you with a smirk, nodding his head in a genuine way. 
“I’m either going to die, or you are. What’s the point in keeping secrets?”
You nod brokenly, breathing in a deep sigh and still trying to process the things you confirmed on your own. Jungkook may be in, but he sure does have a loud mouth when you start asking him questions. The good news is that, if Namjoon found out Jungkook shared those secrets, he’d be on the chopping block again. So, he’s kind of stuck with you in this limbo of wondering who to trust and who not to trust. 
You, now fearing your own boyfriend who not only holds you on the nights he’s home, but tells you he loves you, feel at a loss when you look at Yoongi. 
Both men have committed atrocities and it’s funny how you expected them to have not been that way. At least the man before you told you the truth though. He protected a person he loved, and Namjoon killed people for it. 
“Yoongi.” You say his name for the first time and he grimaces immediately at it. 
“What makes you think we are on a first name basis?” He asks, snidely. 
“I had to feed you like a fucking baby, I can call you whatever I damn well please.” You argue, stepping back and reaching for the chair to sit in front of him. 
“You think you can just call me whatever you want because you chose to fuck your life up and keep me alive?” He laughs again, clearly very aware of the position he’s in but still unafraid. “So fucking clingy. I don’t see how he stands it.”
You scoff, poking your tongue in your cheek at the audacity of this man. 
“Have you ever heard of saying “Thank you”?” You ask, rolling your eyes and kicking him over. 
He falls with a huff, but lays there chuckling about it. 
“Either way, Jungkook said he was ordered to come here in two days to get rid of your body. So, I suggest you either roll over and die or we figure something out.”
“We?” He questions, sitting himself back up and looking at you with a raised brow. “So, you’re working for me now?”
You look around the room, wanting to cry because it damn well seems that way considering what you’ve learned. Namjoon would probably kill you without blinking . Unfortunately, yeah, maybe you are.
“It seems so.” You look at him, noticing how his once dull and lifeless eyes are full of energy and rage. Noticing even more how he looks up and down your body.
You can imagine the man is touch starved, and for some reason, that is…kind of attractive. Such a wanted man checking you out as if you both aren’t on the verge of being shoved into a morgue freezer. 
“Oh yeah?” His eyes stay roaming, and then he flicks them back up at you. “I’ve gotta hand it to you, it’s pretty hot to know you’re turning your back on that piece of shit.” 
In his head, he’s very clearly barely back to reality. After all, he’s been in this room entirely alone save for you. Nearly dying and then coming back from the brink of death because of you. Is it so wrong for him to kind of, you know, be a man in such a dire situation? 
“I haven’t turned my back on him! I’m just,” You pause, going quiet for a moment to think. “I’m just trying to figure out if I can accept what he’s done.”
“And so, you’re asking me what to do so we both don’t get killed? Hate to tell you babe, but even if you chose to stay, I'd tell them the second they find me alive that you’re the one who fed me.” 
You glare at him, knowing that you’re both facing a brick wall with guns pointed to your head. 
“I bet you would.” 
“He and I are pretty similar, watching you die wouldn’t sting even a tiny bit.” He continues, poking and pushing the buttons he realizes you have. “Thank you though.”
You look down at him, tilting your head and, for some reason, smiling.
“You’re welcome.” You say, standing to your feet and walking around him. 
He protests the second he feels your arms snake around him and try to lift him. His body now having a bit more weight to it, you feel pleased that you kept him alive, for some reason.
“Sit on the chair.” You say, still tugging him up and noticing how he wobbles on his legs. 
Yoongi says nothing, for some reason no longer fighting and instead focusing on seeing if his legs still work. Somehow, they’re not broken, and he’s able to stand on them for a brief moment before leaning the entirety of his weight on you. 
“Clingy.” He laughs in an out of breath whisper, fumbling to the chair and finally falling into it. 
“Did you love your girlfriend?” You ask, stepping back and looking at him propped in his chair. 
“I did.” He admits, looking straight past you and at the wall. “Can’t now though.”
You look to the ground. 
“Would you have killed her if she kept Namjoon alive behind your back?” You ask.
“No.” He admits again, laughing at himself. “Would have killed myself before I ever laid a hand on her.” 
You think hard about the similarities between Yoongi and Namjoon, but you struggle to find many of them. Which is terrifying.
“So, you really think Namjoon would kill me for the same reasons?”
“Babe,” He lets out a pained laugh for you, shaking his head in pity. “I don’t think it. I know it.”
You nod your head, because you honestly think he would too. 
“So, what now?” You ask, knowing there is no answer to the question. 
“I’d suggest you run home to him.” He says, nodding his head to the door as if to encourage you. “I don’t suppose I can expect you to accidentally let one of my family members know where I am though, can I?”
“No,” you say sadly, trying to force the tears threatening to shed to stay behind your eyelids. “I suppose you can’t.”
It’s silent for a long while, but you can’t bring yourself to leave. Realizing how much safer you feel in this prison compared to in bed next to Namjoon. It’s frightening, truly, that you could be killed simply for having humanity. Yoongi’s girlfriend was killed because his humanity drove him to revenge. Maybe you’re the one more similar to Yoongi. 
“I’m not really going to tell them, you know.” Yoongi calls out, dropping his head and looking at you from under his messy hair. “I might kill, but rarely without reason. I’m satisfied enough with the idea that you might leave him.”
You stare at him.
“You’re too naive to be involved with all of this. He seems to do a pretty shit job at protecting you, considering you’re here with me.”
You continue to look at him, questioning every word he’s saying. 
“You’re pretty similar to her, you know? I mean, minus the whole going behind his back thing.” Yoongi smiles when he looks at you, and arguably that expression hits you right in the gut. 
“If I untie you, would you come after me?” You ask, studying him. 
“Maybe, who knows?” He watches you go behind him anyway. “You like playing with fire, don’t you?” 
His eyes light up at the feeling of you behind him, hoping to god you’re truly weak hearted enough to untie him. He could run, he could fulfill this rage growing in his heart, but those hopes are shattered when you come back into view. 
You lean down, inches from his face and look directly into his eyes. Searching for a reason to think he would kill you the instant you untie those hands. What you see instead, is his eyes flicking to your lips. 
You, in turn, flick your eyes to his and you don’t even know why you do it. Perhaps it’s the overwhelming feeling of death looming over the two of you. You hold Yoongi’s life in your hands, and he technically holds your life in his if he were to tell on you. The feeling is driven solely by fear, disgust, hate, pity.
You kiss him. His breath not offering much outside of the citrus fruit he had eaten when you offered it to him just an hour earlier. 
It’s silent, and you can imagine he truly could have gone insane in this room all by himself. You feel yourself going insane too, despite feeling safer. 
And when you pull back reluctantly, Yoongi’s eyes shine a little differently. His smirk is still scary but his eyes are soft and pleading. That dull look in his eyes from the first night you fed him? That tiny little glint of need shining through to you? That is showing in full force and you wonder if he notices it. 
“He’d definitely kill you.” Yoongi laughs, still looking at you. 
It’s silent again, save for a few quick breaths leaving your chest. You give him a short nod, because you know he’s right and there’s no point in denying it at this point.
“But I wouldn’t.”
All you can do is fall farther into the insanity that fills this room at that. Leaning in and kissing him again, this time a bit more desperate, releasing all of the tension inside of you on him as you bring your body closer, and straddle his sore and weak legs. 
“Are you asking to die?” He comments at your closeness, confirming that you may actually be as clingy as he joked that you were. It appears that death doesn’t seem to scare you at this moment, nor does it scare him. 
If anything, having Namjoon’s girl straddling his lap without so much as asking for it is a new kind of desire in his mind. Namjoon may have killed his ex girlfriend, but he didn’t fuck her. Which, arguably, isn’t worse than losing her but still makes his heart race with anger at the thought. The idea of taking you from that man even for a moment is blissful. An ultimate insult, one that would piss Namjoon off beyond belief. Surely he’d be left in a different room to be eaten by rats next time he makes an attempt on his life. 
“Hm?” Yoongi continues, letting you kiss him, feeling your weight on his sore body, kind of loving the feeling because he hasn’t touched a woman since his girlfriend died. But if he’s going to end up dead, he might as well fuck Namjoon’s girlfriend beforehand, right? 
“Maybe I am,” you answer, breathlessly. “Are you?” You ask, leaning back and looking at him.
“You do realize I’m one of the most wanted men in this country, right?” He laughs, smirking and feeling quite cocky with the turn of events. 
“That,” You eye him, feeling his length twitch beneath you. “you are.” 
He chuckles, noting that you’re suddenly complimenting him now.
“Wanted by you wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but alright.” He shrugs, pressing his hips up and against you. “Can you at least untie my hands if you’re going to throw yourself at me like this?”
You shake your head, lifting off of him a bit and checking that his hands are still bound. 
“No,” You laugh, sitting back down and noticing his harsh reaction to your weight on his legs again. “Does your dick still work?”
Yoongi glares, unsure of how he feels about fucking someone while bound and in pain like this, but who is he to say no? Again, Namjoon’s girlfriend. Rage and revenge. If he can live through a heavy beating and starvation, surely he can handle a girl bouncing on his cock. 
“It appears so,” He says, feeling the twitch in his pants fight against the pain of his legs. “Why, you gonna fuck me?”
“Maybe, who knows?” You respond, leaning back down and biting hard against his neck. 
He glares at the wall, seemingly enthralled with the idea but still not entirely happy with the situation at hand. He’s not typically the person to be fucked, and yet, here you are moving your hips against his battered body, bumping against his cock each time. 
Shaking himself out of it, he has to remember that again, this is Namjoon’s girlfriend and he wants to fuck her for no other reason than pissing him off. So, whatever. 
“Are you this eager with him too?” He asks, trying to crane his neck from your biting mouth to get you to look at him. “or am I just lucky?”
Lucky, hah. You scoff against his neck before pulling back to look at him. 
“You really do talk a lot of shit, you know that?” You say, deliberately pressing more weight against his legs to elicit a pained groan out of him. 
“I’ve been told, yes.” He groans in a half laugh, not wanting to appear as broken as you know he has been. “You’re still the one trying to fuck enemy number one though.” 
Internally, your heart is racing. 
“Maybe I’m the lucky one then?” You offer, moaning a bit at the feeling of how hard he’s gotten despite the state of his body. “Most wanted man in the country right? Sitting right here, tied up, at my mercy.”
“Damn, I didn’t know Namjoon liked to be slapped around.” Yoongi laughs, wincing again at both the pain and pleasure you’re offering to him. 
“He doesn’t.” You respond, tilting your head before leaning in close to his ear. “I’m the one who likes that.” 
His arms shake within their bounds, broken fingers be damned he still has another hand to use. 
“Then fucking untie me,” He grouches, huffing out through his nose and attempting to push you away by shifting his legs. “If you like it so much, let me do it.” 
You shake your head again, this time with your own pitied laugh. 
“You’d kill me. I know you said you wouldn’t but you were just trying to get on my good side.” You coo out at him after your comment, ghosting your lips over his. “It must hurt pretty bad to know how pathetic you look right now.” 
He very nearly spits at you for looking down on him with intent. Sure, before you probably looked down on him because he was literally dying. But now? This is a blatant insult, and he can’t help but feel some of that rage build up within him. 
“Pathetic?” He laughs, staring down at the way your hips continue to move. “You’re the one getting yourself off on a man who would kill your boyfriend in an instant.” 
“Do it then.” you say, unsure of why you’re suddenly so okay with the idea of murder. Maybe because if Yoongi did it, you know he’d probably be quick with it. He didn’t seem to take pleasure in describing such gory scenes to you, so clearly he must not like to savor them either. Not like Namjoon, who appears to favor giving others a long and painful death. 
“Fuck,” Yoongi calls out, being entirely aroused by your willingness to tell him to kill your boyfriend. The thought of hurting him alone could get Yoongi off within seconds. The relief of killing the man who caused so much pain would be better than any orgasm or twelve hundred dollar bottle of wine. 
“Say that again,” Yoongi groans, replaying those words you just said in his head. His own hips moving against you now. “Say it and I swear I’ll kill him when I get out of here.” 
You don’t comment at first. “when I get out of here.” he said, as if he knows for a fact you’ll untie him. As if he trusts that you’re with him one hundred percent. Hell, at this point, maybe you are. Feeling so unsafe and so very aware of how dead you actually may become, fighting to keep yourself alive is easier to swallow than letting your own boyfriend kill you for betraying him. Fight or flight, the brain works so strangely when it needs to survive. 
“Do it,” You repeat, hearing his breath hitch in an embarrassing way. “I bet you would, wouldn’t you?”
He nods proudly, still writhing his arms and wanting so badly to be free, not even to escape at this point, but to hold onto your waist and feel more of that pain you offer to him. 
“Fucking untie me.” He demands, legs shaking as he continues to try and chase the rhythm of your harsh grinding hips. “You think I’d kill you when you’re talking to me like this?” 
“I think you would.” You laugh, now pulling back off of his lap and standing to your feet in front of him. 
You look down at him, his cock towering in his dirty jeans. For some reason, you’re not disgusted by the fact that he’s filthy. You’re more disgusted with the idea of going home and smelling the shampoo Namjoon uses to wash the blood out of his hair. 
“I wouldn't.” He repeats himself, now moving back and forth in his chair to try and unbind his hands much like he did the first night he was here. “If i planned on killing you, i’d fuck you first anyway.”
You narrow your eyes, watching him try to break free before you lunge forward and lean over him again. Much like before, you grab his face and force him to look into your eyes. 
“I’m not untying you.” You say sternly, as if to warn him that it’s the final time you’ll say it. “You have two days left, and I’m not coming back after this.”
“I know.” He admits, bucking his hips up at nothing. “So, if you could just pull my dick out and get to it, I'd really appreciate it.”
You poke your tongue to your cheek again, wondering how the fuck this man manages to stay so confident in such a position. You wonder even harder why you listen to him. 
Just as he asked, you lower yourself to your knees and lay your head on his knee. For a moment, he watches you and understands why Namjoon must like you so much. You’re pretty down there, with playful eyes even in the face of death. You’re definitely something else. One, for ending up with Namjoon, and two, for ending up in this room with him like this. 
“I think you could probably drive anyone insane,” Yoongi says in a voice that seems too soft for him. “If he’s really stupid enough to kill you for giving him the chance to kill me again, he’s a lot more dumb than I expected.”
You smile, blinking up at his compliment. 
“Thank you.” You say, feeling so lost in this situation that at this point, you feel like you’d rather just stay here and let Jungkook find you both two days from now. It’s a fucked up situation on all ends, but at least you feel okay right now, with your chin resting on a killer’s knee, glancing at his cock, wondering how you want to pleasure it. 
He stops talking by this point, bucking his hips to encourage you to stop staring and pull it out. The sound of his clothing rubbing against that old wooden chair suddenly feels loud, and your ears begin to ring as your heart picks up. 
There is a specific realization in this moment regarding all of that humanity that drove you to this point. Helping this man is one thing, but wanting him is something completely different. In your head, you question everything you feel at this moment. Are you chasing comfort from none other than, and he was right to say it, the most wanted man in the country? More wanted than Namjoon? Perhaps that’s because Namjoon has other’s do his dirty work though. Yoongi appears to kill personally, and quickly. It’s no wonder he got caught by the gang you call family. 
You remember being told that they got him, and that he was to be killed. You remember mocking Namjoon, complaining that you wouldn’t believe it until you saw him. You remember Jungkook sitting in the driver’s side of the car and driving you here for the first time, and you remember that one of your first thoughts about Yoongi was that he didn’t look much like a gang leader lying on the floor like that. You thought he was cute, almost puppy like in his defiance. 
When he spilled all of those truths about Namjoon and the men and women you are surrounded with, you did lean more into Yoongi than the people who claim to love you. You didn’t know why you kept him alive, you didn’t know why you betrayed those you love. If anything, you know now that is was simply humanity. 
Something that you cling to, and something that the majority of people around you have thrown away. When you look at Yoongi though, alive because of you, you see his humanity too. There is a fire in his eye that doesn't sing out for rage and blood, no. It’s a look you couldn’t find in Namjoon’s eye just a day before. Humanity brought you to save this man, and it also brought you to find him attractive despite his state, and it also brought you to this. Wanting him.
Wanting to comfort him from those atrocities your boyfriend committed toward him, because you can defend why Yoongi killed the man who once brought you a cake for your birthday. You wanted to keep him alive because somehow, in your gut, you knew he didn’t deserve to die this way. 
And now, so terrified of what this situation might bring, you’re turned on by fear. The arousal of him talking so much shit, complimenting you through insults, looking at you in a way Namjoon never did drives a distinct type of butterfly within your belly. You fear every single person outside of this room, but Yoongi. You want him to yourself. 
Yoongi watches you against his knee, seemingly in deep thought as your face falls and lightens up with realization. He finds himself smiling at the situation. He was really quite lucky for Namjoon to be dating such a woman. If he hadn't been, surely he would be dead and limp in the corner, rotting until his body is hidden elsewhere two days from now. But he’s not, his heart is beating and his cock is raging much like the hate in his heart for the men who seemed to have claimed you.
Don’t get him wrong though, it’s not that he likes you in the way Namjoon seems to. He gets why he does though. The fact of the matter is that you put yourself in a terrifying situation to keep him alive for no reason that has truly been given. It’s natural for him to owe you now, and what he owes you is nothing short of his own life for putting yourself in the line of fire like this. 
Yoongi does like you though. Likes the way you look at death the same way he does, being reckless and making mistakes despite clearly having some sort of intelligence. His attraction to you comes in the form that you’re a woman, you’re Namjoon’s woman, you’re attractive, and you really did give him his life back. Even still restrained, he’s turned on beyond belief. Never having been put in a situation where he fucks the inevitable out of his mind, but it’s exactly what he intends to do. 
Not just to spite Kim Namjoon, but also to somehow repay you. You got on top of him, you kissed him, and if you want to fuck the life of out him, he owes you that much too. At least when you leave him here, if you leave him here, he knows that he made you feel good too. 
“Well?” He finally says, pulling you out of your drifting thoughts and making your eyes shoot back up to him. “You just gonna look at it or?”
You blink twice before glancing back down at his cock and feel the resolve within you strengthen. Your mind is suddenly so clear when you reach forward and unbutton his pants, sliding them down his legs and completely off of him.
You gasp when you see how bruised his legs are, realizing that you were just sitting directly on them. Thankfully, again, they’re not broken but you can imagine the weakness he feels. 
“Oh.” You breathe out, letting your fingers ghost over one of the deepest and darkest bruises. Shaped like a boot and showing a pattern that looks very similar to the pair of boots your boyfriend wears. You watch him wince at the energy of your fingers, not even touching the spot but simply close enough to still somehow manage to hurt him. 
“I’ve had worse,” he urges you, leaning forward a bit and looking at you. “What, you think I can’t handle a couple of bruises?”
You look up at him, trying to push the range of colors against his skin out of your mind as your eyes land and focus back between his legs. Not surprising that it can distract you almost instantly as it stands against the last remaining restraining fabric. 
His hips buck up when he sees your hands go for the waistband of his underwear, licking his lower lip with a silent chant in his head of yes, yes, yes! Perhaps it’s because he lost his mind, but it’s really not such a bad deal to be able to get so turned on in a situation like this. After all, he owes you, so he might as well get into it, right? 
When you pull off his underwear, instantly you’re just staring. In awe that he can manage to be turned on at all right now, ultimately quite happy that it still works too.
“I bet all the girls love getting fucked by you.” You comment, staring at his cock and the way it stands more lively than the rest of his body. 
“On the contrary babe. I don’t fuck just anyone.” He chuckles snidely, looking down at the way your eyes swallow him up. “If I’m fucking someone, only I’m fucking her.”
“Lucky her, bet you go for the pretty ones too.” 
“You misunderstand me,” he chuckles softly, his cock twitching at the way your energy changed once you got a good look at it. “If I fuck her, she’s only fucking me.” 
You pause, noting another lack of similarity between Yoongi and your boyfriend. Namjoon fucks other women, sometimes in just a room over from you. Part of you wishes he was as possessive as the man before you on all fronts. Enough to kill a man for you like Yoongi did, enough to starve and suffer in a room for protecting you. 
“What happens when Namjoon gets his hands on me again, then?”
“He won’t be able to once I’m done with you.” 
You pause, unsure if that’s a threat on your life or a threat for a good time. The gamble is the same either way, so you offer him a sarcastic laugh. 
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” You ask, leaning forward and tip toeing your fingers up his length. 
“You wouldn’t want him to fuck you.” He says snidely, shivering at your touch. “Let me show you what it’s like to actually get fucked.” 
You breathe in deeply, pupils blowing out at the sound of those words. It only takes a moment to stand up and place yourself back on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and looking directly into his eyes. 
“Is that a promise?” You say, eyes burning in delight and ignoring the wince of pain that trembles through his body. “You think you can fuck me better?” 
He smirks and nods his head, pushing his cock forward as his legs start to go numb under your weight. He’s no longer uncomfortable, thinking with only one part of his body. 
“Let me,” He says, trying to show his dominance despite being restrained. “Sit on it and see, babe.”
You chuckle silently, lifting up on his lap and internally apologizing for the way your legs squeeze his thighs, he doesn’t react though. You snake your hands under your skirt to push your panties to the side and have no qualms with grabbing his cock and positioning it right where it needs to be. 
Yoongi shivers at the feeling of your hand grasping him, and the image of your eyes not leaving his when you do it. For once in his life, he is feeling so out of control, owing someone else, all while being pleasured? Honestly, he couldn’t think of a better way to spend his time in captivity. 
“Sit.” He says in a demanding way, feeling the way you hover over him and make attempts to tease the pleasure. 
“You’re in no position to tell me what to do.” You laugh, still somehow following his order and sliding down just an inch and releasing a breath. 
He hums at it, holding his own pleasure in and watching you attempt to control yourself just through the small amount of cock he’s got in you. 
“Untie me, I’ll take care of you.” He tries to reason with you again, bucking his hips up and plunging another few inches against your aching walls. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
You nod, dropping your head to his shoulder as you brace yourself against the chair behind him. Slowly sinking down and adjusting to a size that isn’t what you’re accustomed to. And when you finally sit flush against his thighs, you spread your legs to offer him some relief and clench your pussy around him. 
“Untie me,” he says again, thrusting his hips up beneath your weight and trying to force in more of him despite having no more to offer. “Fuck.” 
You ignore his words and his chasing hips as your pussy hugs his length. You feel so full, so satisfied by his size inside of you. When he tries to fuck up, he doesn’t go far but the tight fit burns in a way that feels more arousing than you could have ever expected.
“You must hate being tied up,” You chuckle, finally moving your hips just a bit to relieve yourself of a bit of his length. “How does it feel to be at a woman’s mercy?” 
Yoongi glares at you when you say those words, pressing up and struggling with his strength as he tries to force those few inches back into you. 
“How does it feel?” He repeats the question to you. “I could be fucking the light out of your eyes right now if you’d just let me.”
You almost consider it, wondering what his working hand would feel like pressing against your skin. The other, too swollen and likely too painful to touch you. You’d still play with those fingers though, because the only way you can get a decent moan out of him is if he’s hurting. 
“The light already left my eyes, Yoongi.” You say.
He doesn’t hear a word of it outside of you using his first name again. He rolls his eyes at you, dropping his head back in a frustrated groan at how he’s both getting what he wants, but also not.
“No, your eyes are still shining.” He says when he lifts his head back up to face you, and you pull back a bit, rolling your hips before finally lifting again to actually start riding him. 
“So are yours.” You say, looking straight into them and smiling.
He doesn’t believe you, but the sensation of how wet you seem to be definitely would have any man’s eyes shining. 
“How does it feel?” You comment, noticing the shiver that runs down his body and his heaving chest. 
“Fucking tight.” He grimaces, “I’d keep you all to myself. Namjoon is a stupid, stupid man for letting you come here.”
“He’s a specific type of man,” You correct him, hovering over his lips. “Doesn’t even eat my pussy.”
“Goddamn, untie me.” Yoongi very nearly pleads, feeling the intensity of how your walls cling to him. 
He’s aching so much. He’s so fucking angry, and yet, he really is about to beg for you to release him. Not to run, not to kill you, but to pleasure you.
You still ignore him, ghosting your lips over his and watching his eyes droop into a drowsy stare at you. You were right when you said his eyes were shining, even like this, they are. You could argue that he feels good, you could argue that if you untied him, maybe he really would fuck you better than Namjoon does. 
“I bet you’d kill to have your hands on me right now, wouldn’t you?”
Yoongi nods brokenly, still trying to buck his hips up to make good on his promise, and still being met with frustration bubbling inside of him. He’s too restrained for this, his heart has grown soft at this ego blow, and yet, his cock still yearns inside of you. 
“I would.” He admits, his voice so broken sounding that you almost feel as if you’ve pushed him to his limit. 
“You’d eat me out too, wouldn’t you?” 
“Fuck yeah I would.” He admits again, this time seeming more determined as he starts to move his hands again in an attempt to free himself. “Let me.” He seethes out through a clenched jaw. 
You ignore him.
“Let me.” He says again, this time in a half moan when you move your hips with more intent. 
“If you make it out of here alive, I’ll let you.” You moan yourself, sliding back and forth against him, swirling your hips and feeling his weeping cock stretch you out even more. 
“You’re fucking insane.” Yoongi groans, tensing his muscles to offer more support for your languid grinding. “Fucking me so slow, making promises you know you can’t keep.”
“I’ll keep them,” You say, lowering your face to his neck and reaching your hands behind him, rubbing against his arms. “You’re giving me so much power right now, it’s hard not to savor it.”
He chuckles at your boldness, once again leaning his head back against the chair and allowing himself to relish in the feeling of the way you ride him. 
“If I make it out of here alive, I’m going to look him in the eye and tell him how wet and needy this pussy is for me.” 
“You’re so honest,” you laugh, picking up pace and fiddling with the binds on his hands. “That’s why I’m not going to untie you.”
“Faster,” he groans, imagining that he has healthy and free hands, guiding your hips on him. If he’s going to have to be like this though, the least he can do is try and guide you to the pace he should be fucking you at in this moment. “I want to hear how wet you are.”
You smirk, pulling your hands back and grabbing his face. His cheeks are fuller now compared to that night you came to bring him his life back, and they look plush when you squeeze them and force his eyes to stay on you. 
“Faster?” You ask, already pistoning your hips against him, the chair creaking and threatening to break under the weight the two of you offer. “Harder?” You ask, his eyes burning straight through you as if you’d be daring him to kill you if you don’t. 
He’s pleased by your pace, falling into a world of arousal in his head as you ride him exactly how he wants it. He can hear the wetness seeping out of you, and the best part is that it’s for him and not that pompous asshole who nearly killed him.
You bounce, fast and hard, drilling his cock so deeply into you that he finally releases a moan of pleasure right against your lips before rolling his eyes back and giving in. 
“Fuck, you do this for him, too?” He asks, eyes rolling back to look at you and the way the determination in your eyes only grows. 
“No,” You say out of breath, keeping that same pace and hiccupping with small moans each time. “He never lets me ride him” 
“Won’t eat you out, won’t let you ride him.” Yoongi mocks him, freely moaning now as you take him for all he’s worth. Which isn’t much at this point. “I’d worship you.”
You pause your movements, out of breath as you look at him. You glance down to his smiling lips, and then back up at his eyes. 
“I’d let you.” You say shortly, kissing him once again and returning back to your slow movements, pumping his cock inside of you so tightly that he fears this will end too quickly. 
And it does, when you feel his tongue tense up in your mouth and he starts kissing you harder. His harsh voice releases whimpers and breaths into your throat. The sounds coming from him are unintentional and entirely too arousing to ignore.  You can feel his length twitching aggressively inside of you, and you feel more full than you ever thought you could. You ride it out for him, giving him quick jerks of your hips to drag that sensitivity on as he finishes what you started. 
And then it’s silent, but he’s still kissing you. 
“Then let me.” He says once you part your lips, still holding him inside of you, and not daring to move a muscle.
~
You stay with him for a long while, torturing him in a way he finds himself loving by the time the sun rises and he now only has one day on this earth to live. You had spread yourself out on him, gotten him off twice, and then promptly moved him from the chair to get him on his knees. 
It was the first time since you’d been with Namjoon that you felt a tongue against your clit, breaking your own promise of letting if happen if he gets out of this situation. Arguably, you felt like you fell into this hole with Yoongi far too deep to even consider crawling out of it. He ate you like he was still starving, smirking as you swirled your needy clit against his tongue. He was eager to take the parts of you that Namjoon never wanted, it seems. 
And when the daylight rose and you were still here, panic sat in. You were filled with a man’s cum that isn’t your boyfriend’s. Your legs were arguably as weak as Yoongi’s, and you knew for a fact that your family was already wondering where you were. One of the cars would be missing, you’d be missing. 
“What?” Yoongi asks, watching you in horror at the sudden shift of mood. Your face twisting in panic as you start to breathe heavily.
“I can’t.” You say shortly, scooting back further from him. “I don’t know why I’m doing this.”
Yoongi picks up quickly on what you’re referring to. He knew this night had to come to an end though, and he knows for a fact that at least you got to experience him for who he truly is, and not the rabid criminal Namjoon seems to believe he is. 
“Probably because you know Namjoon is going to mail your head to the police?” He laughs, sighing in defeat.
That is, until you stand up and walk behind him. 
Instantly he feels the tight bind against his wrists loosen and now, he can look at the damage. His broken fingers aren’t twisted, and his wrists actually hurt more than they do. He turns to look at you as you stand there, struggling not to cry. 
Honestly, he’s a bit frozen in place before he tries to stand. His legs buckle from the lack of use and from your weight on them, but he manages to balance himself and slowly take a step toward you with a look of appreciation.
“Why did you do that?” He asks, trying to balance himself but feeling his legs give in instantly. He crumbles to the ground with a pained groan. Embarrassed by his nudity and lack of strength.
You didn’t run, nor did you hide after you untied him. What you did do though, is set him free from this situation. He can leave now, and if he needs to, he can take you with him. 
“Are you stupid?” He asks through his pain, standing again and internally forcing himself to walk. “Go on, run back to him.” He raises his voice. 
You shake your head.
“I’m dead either way.” You say with a shaking voice, feeling a pit in your stomach still bubble with arousal but the reality hit you far too late. 
“You saved my life and you’ve now given me a chance to fucking run. You think I’m going to let you die?” He says it as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 
Technically, it should be normal for a person to react this way, but Yoongi is a killer too. It’s not like you expect anything more from him, nor from Namjoon at this point when he ultimately learns that you’re the one who did this.
“If you want me to kill you so bad, I’d be happy to do it so you don’t have to fucking suffer but–” Yoongi goes silent for a moment, contemplating the position that he’s about to put himself in. 
As if the situation wasn’t already bad enough, it couldn’t hurt much more than it already will. 
“You could come with me. My men will protect you for keeping me alive. You’d be untouchable.” 
You look at him, seemingly unsure at first. 
“He’s probably already out looking for me.” You say in a smaller voice than before. “He’d know it was you.” 
“No shit. Either you’re coming with me or not.” Yoongi deadpans, standing as still as he can so he doesn’t tumble over to the ground again. 
You shrug in defeat, nothing left to say. 
And then you’re getting into your car after the struggle and helping your enemy escape. He’s in the back seat, smiling up as he focuses his eyes outside. 
“If you drive me straight to him, you know he’d probably forgive you, right?”
You ignore him, finding more comfort in the fact that he’d kill you for this. 
“Just tell me where to go.”
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oohbuggypie · 2 months
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super long discussion abt my headcanons for Don's tattoo, as well as Carmen's and Bull's !
WARNING!! these r very headcanon heavy and probably reach-y ideas so if u prefer to stick to canon / r scared of mischaracterization maybe dont read 🩷 also this is SUPER long so im gonna go ahead and put all of this beneath a cut bcuz i don't wanna flood + this is centered around ship talk and i know some ppl don't care 4 that ✝️ pairs discussed are CarDon and BullDon, but emphasis on Carmen and Don bcuz they're mentioned more than once!!
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kay so i always talk abt Don having a tattoo but ive never clarified WHAT the tattoo is of / what it says . im usually stuck between not knowing what it would be;; a religious image or a religious quote ? a cross felt too basic, but an entire passage of text would just be way too much for Don in my opinion,, i don't think he'd ever want such a huge, obvious amount of black ink on his body forever. i came up with the idea that Don's tat in the Monster Hunter would be COLOSSIANS 3:2, and it felt very fitting ; it's small and fairly easy to hide, but it reflects a great amount of his world perception and his ideologies . and i think that the exact same style of tattoo would fit his regular universe character very well too !
so after some consideration and many MANY dumb questions, i have concluded: i think Don's tattoo would be JOHN 15:9 .
John 15:9 reads: "I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love."
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so why that quote ??
Don is a very romantic man :: he holds a very deep love for Carmen and he expresses that in his actions , seeming to dedicate his fights to her and celebrating his victories in her name . not only that, but i think his loving attitude is expressed through his non-romantic actions as well; he shows a considerable amount of respect to his opponents, and he recognizes his own mistakes! he's romantic , respectful , and to an extent - humble . i think that that verse fits him so well because it connects to his romantic personality and religious upbringing. along with being raised religiously, i think Don's parents took extra time to truly teach Don the lesson that love is one of life's most valuable and prominent factors. not only did they teach him to show kindness and respect to his peers, but i think they integrated the idea of finding romance very early in his life. they wanted their son to fall in love with the "right person", and they wanted him to treat his lover with deep devotion and respect. so i think that those two factors ended up melding together as Don grew up; religion reflected love, and his love would reflect his religion. so upon the two merging, i think Don made the decision to get that specific quote as a tattoo as means to reflect his two deepest values, and as a promise to himself that he'd find his true partner one day. so when Don truly did fall in love, he felt an even deeper connection to the tattoo.
Don's canonical partner being Carmen is adorable to me, and this is where the second portion of my headcanon comes in: i think that throughout the course of their relationship, Carmen would recognize the true sentiment that religion holds in Don's life and get a similar tattoo as devotion to her lover ! much like Don, to me, she wouldn't want an obnoxious or obvious tattoo simply because it doesn't fit the way she presents herself. so as a way to match her partner, i think she'd get the exact same kind of tattoo but with a different passage.
i think Carmen would choose ROMANS 1:11 - 12, and the placement would be beneath her right breast.
Romans 1:11 - 12 reads: "I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong - that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith."
i think the first part of the text ("I long to see you...") reflects the majority of Don's life where he waited to find his true partner, and how he and Carmen were bound to be together; she just hadn't met him yet. the second part of the quote ("...to make you strong...") is super fitting in the context of the idea that Carmen is Don's main motivation that drive his passions, like bullfighting and boxing. and the final part of the quote solidifies their love for each other - by sharing a tattoo, they share the love behind it and they serve as one another's guide of sorts.
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as for Don being in a relationship with Bull, i think Bull would have conflicted feelings about getting a tattoo. Don, by no means, thinks that Bull NEEDS to get a tattoo to encapsulate their love ,, it was never a "required" or expected action to be reciprocated and Don understands that very well! both of them have already given each other deeply valuable gifts as ways to express their devotion. however, if Bull were to get a tattoo, i think he'd prioritize it being very small and very private.
to me, Bull's tattoo would be of the Virgin Mary in colored ink, placed on his inner, left thigh.
this is solely my opinion and i def don't expect anyone to agree, but that one is soo special to me . i think Don would have a very strong admiration of the Virgin Mary as an entire concept, and Bull took note of that love. he decided to represent it by choosing an intimate place that practically nobody else would ever see. neither of them see it constantly, but when they do they're reminded of just how deep their love runs . 🥹
OKAY I THINK IM DONE OMGG . this could be worded so much better but it's past midnight and this was literally ripping my brain to shreds all day so i HAD to get it out immediately 😭✝️ thanks 2 anybody that read all this omg i didn't think i was gonna talk THAT much .. srry but Don and religion r just sooooo good paired i HAD to share 🩷 okay goodniiiiiight
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cryingovernarry · 5 years
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i realized i never actually never share anything about me on this website, like, i never really write about stuff thats happened/is happening in my life or about stuff i like and whatever. and like. im the type who’s great at oversharing (shitposting) lmao but apparently never on tumblr i guess?? its not important but yeah i just realized it. ive had this account since april 2012 i think? never made any friends on here tbh i just exist in the background quietly liking or reblogging stuff, and never do anymore than that. and no one will actually care or read this so MIGHT AS WELL am i right ladies and gents and non-binary friends. so heres some good and shitty stuff thats happened in my life
2017 was a good concert year for me i think (please bear with me ive got bad memory) (thx depression) i finally saw ed sheeran (one of the best concerts ive been to even if the people next to us kept talking throughout the whole concert) then i saw shawn mendes (hes baby) i went and saw little mix all by myself (snatched that barricade too!!) it was incredible and i miss them. i was lucky enough to see niall and harry too on their tours and ill never get over that. oh, and niall retweeted one of my tweets so thats something. (im trying to play it cool bc its been over two years it Should Not make me Feel Like This anymore right) i also went to germany in 2016 on december 31st to celebrate new years with my friend who i met through the internet (thanks internet) and i stayed there for a week (shouldve known itd go all downhill after that)
so, while concert-life was on top, my personal life was at bottom and it would only get worse in 2018. 
early 2017 my mom started to feel...sick. her body was hurting all the time. she was in so much pain without knowing why. apparently she had some kind of rare blood disease. it all went so...fast. suddenly she was in and out of hospitals, she got worse, the pain even more worse. some days she could barely walk and all she could do was cry. it’s horrible seeing your own mom like that. knowing there was nothing you could do. i did my best though, i moved back home to help her with my siblings becuase their father is a piece of shit who never helped my mom even if she was sick. she was at her lowest and he didnt care and he only made her worse. but i took on the responsibility of taking care of my younger siblings, and mom. as much as i could. while my older sister came home almost every weekend so she could help too. our grandma did her best too. we all tried so much to help mom. 
in september my mom called from the hospital. she told me her disease has turned into leukemia. this was the first time i cried with my mom. 
she did all kinds of chemo, got isolated at the hospital. wasn’t allowed to go out or sometimes even see her own kids. my sister and i took turns staying with her at the hospital though. i think the longest i stayed with her at the hospital was two weeks straight. 
when the results of her last chemo came back the doctor said the cancer hadnt gone down as much as they had hoped. they said my mom could do one last chemo but that was it, if the cancer wasnt gone after that there would be nothing more they could do to help my mom. because her body wouldnt be able to handle anymore. my mom was a fucking fighter, she had no hesitation about it. 
she was allowed to come home for christmas and the new years. no one knew it would be our last one with her. 
it turned into 2018 and she handled her last chemo pretty well. didnt affect her as much as the others had. she was allowed to come home for the weekend in february. she was so happy to see her kids again. she felt good. but she wasn’t. she really wasn’t. i think that weekend was the worst in my life. 
on march 20th, 2018. after a month of being in a coma, she passed away in her sleep. my wonderful mom, who fought to get better for her kids, who had been suffering for a year, finally got to rest. she wasn’t in pain anymore. 
seeing your mom taking her last breath really fucks you up in some type of way. 
she left six kids behind her. 
my mom always supported me going to concerts. she’s a big music fan herself and she knew how much going to concerts meant to me. always got excited when i told her about them, always listened to me. always listened when i played her new songs or albums. two days before her passing i saw harry styles in concert, tickets bought months before. i wasn’t sure i was even going, but i knew mom would’ve wanted to so i did. i wasn’t at my best during that concert, sat down for most of it but i cannot explain how much seeing harry meant to me. he really helped me feeling better for some hours, made me laugh and smile. i’ll always be grateful for that.  a month after my moms passing i had tickets for another concert, that was for niall horan. i really didn’t think i would be able to handle it, but i did it for mom. knew she would’ve wanted me to go. my friend was a great distraction, and we also met some lovely people in the line and i was so grateful. i will always be thankful for niall, even if he made me cry during flicker. he really helped me too, without knowing. saw 5sos too after three years at the end of the year, with my childhood best friend who i hadn’t seen in over a year. concerts really is the best medicine. at least for me.
i felt so lost without my mom, i still feel that way. some days i have a hard time believing she’s actually gone. your mom isn’t supposed to die when your’re twenty one. she’s supposed to be there next to you while you’re trying to figure out your life. 
i’m gonna be honest with you, i don’t really remember most of 2018. and i don’t think i actually want to remember either. 
2019 has been slightly better so far. saw disney on ice (incredible). in april we finally went to london. something my mom had always wanted too, so i took the necklace i got her years ago and brought it with me to london so at least a piece of her would be there too with us. 
on the first day my older sister and i saw shawn (hes still baby). we also went to madame tussauds (finally met one direction yall), went on london eye, walked to the buckingham palace. took a bus to warner bros studio tour of harry potter. that was fucking incredible. drank disgusting butterbeer. london felt like a dream. 
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i still don’t know what to do with my life, i don’t really have any dreams. im currently living with my grandma and she really doesnt want me to move out lmao. and i feel bad for leaving her
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so that’s it i guess. hi everyone who hopefully didn’t read any of this. my names amanda and my lifes a mess and all tangled up but that’s okay. thats what everyone says. gotta focus on the good things happening in your life. and don’t take your family and friends for granted. please. 
also heres my face ft. my harrys tour tshirt. be nice please. okay bye.
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creepyleech · 4 years
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You know what I want?
For Crusade!Era Joe x Nicky to just magically show up in 2020. But this is, like, the Yusuf and Nicolo who had just started travelling together a couple of years ago, because they had nowhere to go.
Anyway so cue them watching with all levels of shock as their modern counterparts turn out to be a fucking couple?? Like??
And THEN we get scenes like the following:
-Yusuf calling Nicky all names under the sun, and saying Joe is disgusting for laying with that filthy invader. Sprinkle that with insults towards Nicolo, with little details of things Joe remember Nicky used to do. Cue Joe shoving Yusuf against a wall at some point, “You are a child. Nicky is a better man that you could ever dream to be. And if you insult him in my presence again, I’ll dump your body in bottom of the Thames.”
-Yusuf realizing that Nicky can understand him and speaks Arabic fluently, when he’s in the middle of muttering curses under his breath and Nicky casually replies to him.
-Nicolo, who had spent the past year filled with guilt re: the crusades, goes to Joe and they have a heart to heart and Nicolo cries and begs for forgiveness. Joe just holds him and says he understands. That he forgave him a long time ago. Nicky, who had come to fetch Joe for dinner, looks at them with a mixture of sadness and relief; he remembers going through that.
-Nicolo going to Nicky and talking about all his catholic guilt. Nicky telling him “I can’t tell you what to believe. But I believe in nothing but the love I feel for my family, and the love I have for Joe.”
-Yusuf telling Joe he has a weird accent. Joe saying “I’m speaking your language to you out of courtesy.” And then he just immediately switches to the Arabic/Ligurian dialect that he and Nicky use for each other, and refuses to switch back for the rest of the night. This leaves Nicolo and Yusuf to talk to each other, instead.
-Nicky cooks one of Joe’s favourite foods, which is Yusuf’s favourite. Yusuf admits, only to himself and in his head, that that is the best he’s ever had. He eats seconds and thirds. Joe eyes him with a smug smile and he just walks away in a huff.
-Joe and Nicky are in bed, talking. Joe tells him that he can’t stand Yusuf. “He’s so righteous. He thinks he knows everything. I remember that rage, I remember how cruel I was to you for so many years. Long after you stopped being cruel to me. Long after you tried your best to offer olive branch after olive branch. I just- I hate him. I hate that I hurt you so much, for so long.” And they cry and hold each other and thank the universe for who they are now. Nicky asks him to have some empathy for the man he used to be. Yusuf had lost his brothers, his family, everything he’d ever known, because of men like Nicolo. Nicolo had chosen to take up the cross and go and invade a foreign land. Yusuf’s hate was justified, and it would eventually come to an end. They cannot undo the past.
-Yusuf feels- resentment? Anger? Jealousy? Because he seems to be the odd man out. Because Joe is so kind to Nicolo, and Nicolo acts like he’s trying so hard to please Joe in return. Nicolo did that sometimes, with him. Tried to offer a truce. But Yusuf had no interest in taking Frank scum as a friend. He doesn’t know why it bothers him to see them like that. He doesn’t know why it bothers him that Nicky doesn’t try to engage him. He wishes he would, so he could yell back. Nicolo’s Arabic rivals that of a child. It’s hard to argue and yell at someone who can’t understand you. Nicky would understand him, though. He could tell Nicky in fine detail, exactly why he hates him so much.
-Nicky is cooking again, and Yusuf quietly sits and watches. Nicky doesn’t comment on it, but asks him to pass the salt, if you could.
-They read in the same room, all four of them. Joe and Nicky have no shame in lying piled on top of each other. Yusuf engages in some nice hate watching, and Nicolo is just overall uncomfortable. They leave the couple alone and share a few words in the kitchen, bonding over the strangeness of it all.
-Sparring turns into a blood bath. It’s just a lesson in sword fighting at first. With Yusuf and Nicolo genuinely interested in learning from men of such skill. And then it turns into Joe going way too hard on Yusuf after he (maybe) accidentally hurts Nicolo. After a snide comment or two (bc Yusuf has a death wish aparently) Joe loses his patience and attacks him. Nicky is the one that gets in between the two and gets hurt defending Yusuf, which Joe feels terrible about. But afterwards, it’s Yusuf who comes to Nicky and offers a begrudging apology.
-Don’t ask me how, but Yusuf or Nicolo or both get a glimpse of Joe and Nicky either having sex or starting to. If it’s on purpose or not, only I and god will ever know.
-After the sparring chaos, Yusuf and Nicky have a quiet truce where they cook together. One day, Yusuf speaks up. “I hate you,” he says and then he doesn’t stop. He gets it all out. All his feelings and his anger and how dare you come to my people and slaughter them like animals and then ask me to sit by your side, eating dinner as if we’re brothers. And once he’s done, Nicky says “You’re right.” And Yusuf deflates. Nicky tells him that the crusades were wrong, and that Yusuf is allowed his anger, and that Nicolo already knows he was wrong. It changes nothing, and yet it changes everything.
-Yusuf starts seeing Nicolo through the colours of Nicky’s words. He sees the guilt and the pain and the reluctance. He also sees the resignation. Nicolo expects nothing from Yusuf but harsh words; not only that but deep inside he feels they are deserved. And they are! But Yusuf didn’t think he knew that. But he does. He does. And maybe-
-It’s easier, somehow, to not be so cruel all the time. But it feels like betrayal in way. A betrayal to his people and his brothers. That he’d forget what the enemy’s done. That he’d see the enemy as anything other than the monsters who took what was not theirs. But it’s easier. It’s easier to ask Nicky what that spice is called. And to correct Nicolo when he pronounces a word wrong. And to get him a glass of water when he’s gotten one for himself.
-Joe doesn’t forgive him. Forgive him-? Joe doesn’t like him, is the thing. But one day, Yusuf goes to him and they sit outside, and they drink wine, and Yusuf asks him how he could look his mother in her eyes, knowing that he was walking the earth arm in arm with one of the men who killed her sons. And Joe remembers thinking that. Joe thinks of Booker and betrayal and lying in bed with one’s enemies. What Joe says is, “You cannot change what’s happened. You cannot die. Nicolo cannot die. You are bound to him, and he to you.” He pauses and looks directly at Yusuf. “Are you the same man you were yesterday? Have you never made mistakes? No one feels the guilt of the crusades as deeply as Nicolo does. You do not have to forgive him. But you need to let him show you that he can change. That he already has.”
-That night, Joe calls Booker. It’s the first time they’ve spoken in a decade.
-Months go by, and Yusuf asks Nicky to teach him some Ligurian words. Nicky doesn’t comment on the significance of it. He sits down, grabs a book, and reads to him.
-It’s about s year since they had landed in the 21st century, and Yusuf comes to Joe with a request. And that’s how Joe sits between the two of them, playing interpreter. It’s the first real conversation that Nicolo and Yusuf have ever had. Their voices raise and at one point Yusuf gets up in anger, but he comes back and sits down and tries again.
-Nicolo’s Arabic becomes passable. He speaks to Joe extensively every day. Yusuf has to admit, it’s impressive. Yusuf knows all but a couple dozen phrases in Ligurian, but every time he speaks them, Nicolo stares at him with something quiet, intense.
-They don’t mind the affections between Joe and Nicky anymore. It’s become common place. If tension grows between Nicolo and Yusuf, neither speak of it. When Yusuf and Joe are alone, Joe is unbearably smug about it. He never says it, but Yusuf can read the expression on his own face.
-Joe and Nicky leave for a mission. They’ll be gone a week. Nicolo and Yusuf now have the words to speak to each other and, without an audience, they do so freely. They argue a lot. Nicolo cries and Yusuf cries and they drink themselves into peace again. But like magnets, they find each other much as their counterparts have. It’s messy and confusing, but it just- fits.
-It’s almost as if Joe and Nicky had to be there to say goodbye. Because they come back, and they notice the shorter space between Yusuf and Nicolo. Nicky’s mouth twitches in one of his small smiles, but Joe just huffs a laugh and says something in his dialect that Yusuf cannot understand. And if they wait for Joe and Nicky to retire before they allow themselves to sit close to one another again, no one needs to know. And if they bring their cots together in the night, no one needs to know. But that’s how they rise again, back to their home. And it’s bright out and it’s quiet, and there’s no tv and no electric lights and no radio. And Yusuf and Nicolo know that the hard work starts now, but they’re gonna be ok.
Ok fuck I accidental turned this into a compete fic outline and now IM ACTUALLY CONSIDERING WRITING IT fuck it was just suppose to be a head canon. Fuuuuuck.
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lollybliz · 4 years
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bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go
heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.
If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it
1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“
2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”
3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“
4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”
5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“
6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“
7>Electric Connection by  Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“
8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“
9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“
10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“
11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“
12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“
13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””
14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights.  Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“
15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“
16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“
17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“
18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“
19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“
20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”
21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“
22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“
23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”
24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“
25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“
26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm.  “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“
27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”
28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“
29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“
30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“
31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“
32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”
33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”
34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“
35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“
36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“
37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“
38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “
Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.
and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.
39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.
40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters
and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-
41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.
42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.
43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.
That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!
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megalony · 4 years
Text
Teacher’s Pet- Part 9
Here is the new part for my dad! Ben Hardy series which I hope everyone is enjoying, the feedback for this series has been lovely thank you all for the comments.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog​ @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh
Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @gwilymleeisbae​ @k-k0129​
Series masterlist
Summary: Gwilym sets Ben up on a date with (Y/n) who teaches at the school Ben’s kids go to. But Ben is hesitant in the relationship, desperate not to make the same mistakes and needing to put his kids first.
Enjoy.
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"What, so you just leave him awake?" (Y/n) leaned her head to the side as she looked over at Ben in curiosity and slight confusion.
"It's... he's not a baby anymore. When he was a baby or a toddler I could lay him on my chest and I'd fall asleep and eventually he would too, he was always with me when he was a kid. Now he's older I can't lay with him because I fall asleep and he either draws on me, he'll sit up and watch tv whilst I sleep or he tries to play games or read. If I leave him he lays awake and lulls himself to sleep."
When Carter was born he would lay on Ben's chest and fall asleep and when he was a toddler Ben hated leaving him to sleep at night on his own. So he would either lay him in bed with him or sit Carter on his chest and put him to bed when he eventually fell asleep.
Now Ben couldn't do that every night and he had Finn who he had to calm down and put to sleep and keep getting up to see. Carter had to learn to try and get himself to sleep because he was getting older now.
"What if he doesn't sleep or he gets up and watches tv in his room?"
"I've programmed his tv to lock him out when it gets past ten o'clock so he can't watch or play anything and if he goes downstairs I usually wake up and hear him. I'm a light sleeper with them three in the house. He'll lay in bed and try and sleep and if he can't, normally he will just lay and rest and think or maybe read a book which I don't mind as much."
Ben knew Carter couldn't help what time he went to sleep, it only bothered Ben if Carter tried to stay awake and watch movies or play games or keep his mind active. But if he just laid down and chilled or tried to relax and calm down then Ben was happy. If it was a particularly bad night Ben didn't mind him reading because Carter got headaches easily from reading and he couldn't read for over an hour which was a godsend at night.
"What about James and Finn then?" (Y/n) leaned her head on Ben's shoulder as she pulled the cover a little higher over them both. All the boys were now in bed and she and Ben were in his bed watching a random movie on tv. It was ten o'clock now but since it was Sunday tomorrow they could all have a lie in. The weekends were good because when Carter eventually fell asleep Ben would leave him in bed until he either woke up or Ben woke him up late morning.
One time Carter didn't go to sleep until five in the morning so Ben left him in bed until dinner time because he needed the sleep.
"James is fine, he'll sleep through the night no problems. With Finn it's up and down, if he's been anxious all day he'll wake up during the night so I either stay awake or set an alarm to check on him during the night. If he's not been too bad during the day he might have a good night. If he wakes up crying I'll go to him but if he panics he'll come in here, I told him it's fine to come in even if you're here and asleep."
Ben had a rough time sleeping because of the boys.
He was a light sleeper ever since Carter was a baby but it was worse now, even the slightest noise woke him up during the night. Ben woke up to check on Carter at around one in the morning, then he checked on Finn, sometimes he set an alarm to check on them both at three in the morning then he was normally up by six. If Carter was up and messing about Ben woke up and stayed awake with him and if Finn woke up screaming or crying Ben settled him back down to sleep and usually kept Finn in his room with him to make the youngest boy feel safe.
Ben only got a proper night's sleep when the boys were at his parent's house or if it was just him and James at home, but he didn't mind as long as they all got some sleep.
The tv started to blur into the background and Ben was close to turning the tv off but he felt (Y/n) jump beside him when the bedroom door burst open. Ben was used to all the boys running in and out whenever they liked, it made him want to get a lock on the bedroom door but Carter would break it and Finn would sit and have a panic attack.
A sigh passed through Ben's lips and he looked at the door to see Carter all but run into the room and bound over to Ben's side of the bed.
"Can I watch tv with you please? Dad I'm not tired, can I, you said we can have a lie in tomorrow."
(Y/n) noticed the way Carter glanced over at her a few times but he didn't glare or smile, he looked indifferent like she was either not there at all or didn't make a difference and she didn't know how to feel about that. She also noticed the way he was trying not to rush through his words and that suggested he was rather hyper at the moment.
"It's past ten, you need to go to bed."
"I'm not tired, daddy please-"
"You're never tired and you're not staying in here buddy, you need to go and calm down and try to sleep. I'll come sit with you for a bit if you want." Ben sighed as he glanced between (Y/n) and Carter for a few seconds. Carter was hyper and he was either going to try and sneak downstairs to watch tv, try and play games or just sit and be very hyper for the night. Ben was going to have to try and calm him down before he let Carter try and get to sleep on his own.
"Why don't I come and sit with you?" (Y/n) looked at Ben for approval before she looked back at Carter whose eyes narrowed before widening but his expression didn't really change. He looked indifferent yet uncertain, he didn't know how to interpret this or how to act so he was trying to be neutral.
(Y/n) was going on instinct on how to act around Carter, Ben raised him and had learned Carter's ways and his expressions and tones of voice, (Y/n) was trying to navigate through them. She thought sitting with him might help to get him used to her being around and able to talk to her and it would help her to try and bond with him if he allowed her to sit with him.
"Buddy, is that okay?"
Carter nodded and they could both hear his foot tapping against the floor impatiently before Ben motioned for him to go and (Y/n) would follow but before (Y/n) got up Ben gently took her hand.
"Talking to Jamie's unsettled him, that's why he's hyper. He thinks it's good that she called and she's gonna keep calling but she won't and deep down he knows that. He's hyper because he isn't comfortable about this and that means he might be rude or snap at you because that's how he thinks he has to react. Don't take anything he says to heart."
Ben didn't want (Y/n) to go and sit with Carter and then feel upset or uncomfortable if he became rude or unsettled and snapped at her or even if he said something he knew would rile (Y/n) up. Carter became very hyperactive and very uneasy when Jamie called because it disturbed his routine and his mood. He thinks he has to be rude and be hurtful when he feels unsettled because that's how he feels he should act but he didn't mean it and (Y/n) had to know that before she went and talked to him.
"Okay." (Y/n) smiled warmly and leaned over to kiss him before she got up and went into Carter's room.
Because Carter was awake most of the night almost every night, he couldn't share a room with James or Finn and when Carter got angry he definitely couldn't be in a room with them in case he snapped and lashed out at his brothers. Having James in the room made Finn feel calmer especially at night if he had a nightmare and James was always in a deep sleep so when Finn woke up crying or upset or just from a nightmare, James didn't get woken up.
Ben could feel his eyes growing heavy but the longer he felt like he was about to give in to sleep, the more he realised that (Y/n) had been quite a while sitting with Carter and Ben didn't know how to take that. Either they were engaged in conversation which could be both good or bad, or Carter was very hyper and (Y/n) didn't want to leave him or didn't know what to do.
With a sigh, Ben pushed himself up and out of bed and slowly made his way out of the room and across to Carter's room. He didn't want to barge in if everything was going okay because he really didn't want to check up on them both but he couldn't help it. Since the door was open a little, Ben pushed it a tiny bit more and leaned his head around the door to peek into the room.
Carter's room was the box room since he couldn't share with either of his brothers. His bed was on the right hand side of the room with the window opposite the door and a tv behind the door at the end of the bed. Carter had a lot of video games in his room because he didn't like playing his games with anyone but Ben, not even with his brothers. And he had a few sensory toys for when he was upset or had a tantrum or needed something to do to entertain himself. It surprised Ben that Carter didn't mind having the smallest room but the compact space didn't bother him, it seemed to suit him rather well.
He felt safer rather than boxed in.
Ben felt a shock wave of surprise ebbing through him when he looked at (Y/n) and Carter. He assumed they would both be sitting up on the bed chatting or reading a book or maybe even having an argument or (Y/n) trying to calm Carter down from a hyper state. But instead of anything like that, what Ben saw was (Y/n) laid under the covers with Carter huddled under her arm curled into her side. (Y/n) was very slowly and methodically carding her fingers through Carter's hair like she was soothing him to sleep.
Carter's eyes were half-lidded and he looked the calmest Ben had seen him today and seemed to be on the verge of sleep already but he was trying to make the effort of keeping the very quiet conversation going.
(Y/n) stopped talking for a moment when her eyes locked with Ben when she noticed him hovering in the doorway, not wanting to intrude but unable to draw his eyes away from the scene in front of him.
She thought it would have been hard to get Carter to talk to her but he was very talkable and he wasn't trying to be rude or annoying or make (Y/n) feel uncomfortable. He genuinely just wanted to talk and when he asked (Y/n) to lay with him she couldn't refuse. Carter quickly burrowed himself under her arm like he was taking refuge and cuddled into her side, he wanted nothing more than closeness and to be comfortable and talk to (Y/n) and she found it endearing yet rather heartbreaking.
Carter wanted another figure in his life, he wanted a motherly figure because he couldn't have his own mother and he was seeking that from (Y/n) because she was the closest thing he had to a mother right now.
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(Y/n) felt like a knife had gone straight through her heart that was doing somersaults in her chest when a scream hit her ears and tore her from her sleep. She shot up beside Ben who was already sitting up and ready to throw the cover off his frame and run out the room. They both locked eyes for a moment before another sound that resembled a growl and a cry hit their ears and (Y/n) realised Ben was confused.
"That's Carter..."
(Y/n) didn't know how to respond to that but she could see that this wasn't normal. Ben always woke up to Finn crying out for him or running into the room unable to breathe or Finn even screamed in his sleep, but it was very rare that Carter was the one screaming and crying or having a nightmare because he hardly slept. Even (Y/n) had been expecting to wake up to Finn being the one in distress needing to be calmed down during the night. She didn't think or even consider James or Carter having a nightmare.
"Does this normally happen?" (Y/n) got out of bed when Ben jumped to his feet the moment Carter let out another cry that seemed to shake the walls of the house.
"That depends if he's been asleep. He's either having a meltdown or he's having a nightmare and either way this is Jamie's fucking fault. When she left he always had nightmares and she's unsettled him now."
Carter suffered from nightmares since he was little after Jamie left because he had to adjust to living Ben and James and James' mum. Then it was just him Ben and James and that uneased him more because both mother figures had left his life. Then when Lucy came and left and Finn came into the picture he was even more unsettled because he didn't have Ben's undivided attention. Carter needed stability and Jamie was the opposite of that, she unsettled him and made him feel uncomfortable and upset and that unbalanced his world.
Ben hurried into Carter's room as he prayed that he could calm down his eldest before Finn heard and started to panic but when he went in he was scared at what he was faced with. The ten year old was curled up in the middle of the bed with the cover pulled very tight over his whole body making him a covered up ball in the bed. If the cover was thrown on the floor or strewn about the bed then Ben would know Carter was having a nightmare but the way he was hiding himself showed he was having a meltdown.
When a violent scream tore from Carter's lips and he seemed to curl in on himself more, Ben hurriedly moved over and sat down on the bed near to the pillow. He wanted to reach out and pull Carter into an embrace but he knew from experience that trying to hug him when he was like this might make him worse.
"Baby... baby you know you can't lay like this." Ben slowly peeled back the cover from Carter's head so he wasn't at risk of smothering himself but the moment Ben uncovered Carter's head he lashed out and smashed his hand into the wall with a cry. "Okay come on." Ben kept the cover wrapped tightly around Carter's arms and hands like mittens before he gently pulled Carter into his chest.
He kissed Carter's head before wrapping an arm around him when he tried to lash out and started to get frustrated when the cover prevented him from moving. His legs kicked out and his arms started to thrash and Ben could see his hands fisting in the cover he wanted to rip off his body but he couldn't and it only made him scream louder.
"Does mum want me?" Carter's words were quiet and broken and he even dared to open his eyes to look up at Ben but the look he got back was an answer enough.
"Baby... she misses you and I know she loves you, but she doesn't want to be in your life right now. I'm sorry." Ben couldn't say it. He couldn't force himself to say that Jamie didn't want Carter even though that was true, she may miss him and she may love him but she didn't love or miss him enough and she didn't want to care for him or be in his life because she couldn't cope with him. That was her fault and her loss and it made Ben dismiss her as a mother, she didn't deserve to be called a mother if she wasn't willing to look after her own son.
The scream Carter let out was almost unbearable for (Y/n) who was hovering in the doorway so she couldn't even begin to wonder how that felt for Ben to hear. No child should have to deal with the fact that one parent didn't want them, especially not a child who needed stability and extra care and more understanding like Carter. But the extra care and attention he needed was exactly why he didn't have Jamie around anymore.
"Shh, shh you're okay, you have me and you have James and Finn and nan and grandad and you've got uncle Gwil and (Y/n). So many people love you, it's okay that your mum isn't around because you don't need her baby."
Carter let out a very loud wail when Ben slipped his hands under Carter's arms so he could pick him up and sit him on his lap with the cover still cocooned around him to make sure he didn't hurt himself or Ben. But despite the cries and screams continuously leaving Carter's lips, Ben and (Y/n) both noticed he was looking over at (Y/n) a lot.
"Do you want me?"
(Y/n)'s eyes widened in their sockets and she felt her lungs shrivelling up in her chest until she couldn't breathe. Her vision blurred from the tears welling up in her eyes but that didn't distort the image of Carter staring back at her. His eyes were red and puffy, they were streaming with tears that fell down his bright red cheeks and his nose was running. He looked very angry yet scared and vulnerable but the way he looked at her made (Y/n) speechless.
He wasn't looking indifferent like he did earlier, he wasn't angry with her or at her, he wasn't snarling or about to scream at her. For the first time, he looked desperate. He looked desperate for her love and attention and if she said no to his question he might just explode.
Carter stopped screaming, he stopped letting out heart-wrenching sobs and he wasn't thrashing around to try and hurt himself or lash out. He was breathing heavily through his runny nose and his eyes were intent on (Y/n) as he tensed, waiting very impatiently for her answer. Ben had never seen his son so intent on an answer like this, nor had he sat so still and waited like this rather than scream for her to speak. Carter really wanted (Y/n) to love and want him.
(Y/n) took a few cautious steps over until she could sit down in front of Carter on the bed and she watched the way he stopped breathing when she gently brushed a few tears from his cheek.
"Yes I do honey, I don't know your mum or why she doesn't want to be involved in your life but I do."
(Y/n) almost jumped when Carter wriggled in Ben's arms but instead of crying he let out a whine until Ben carefully let go of him and le Carter wriggle out of the cover. He scrambled over until he could clamber onto (Y/n)'s lap, he locked his arms around (Y/n)'s neck to the point it hurt but she stayed silent, not wanting to upset him. She wrapped her arm around his back and tangled her other hand in his hair to try and calm him down and make sure he was okay.
"Y-you can be my mum, c-can't you? I want a mum." Carter mumbled the words into (Y/n)'s neck and she could feel his harsh breaths despite the fact he was trying his best to calm down.
(Y/n) looked over at Ben for confirmation, she didn't want to say yes and have Ben be upset or uneasy about it but she didn't want to say no and have Carter become unsettled again. If he wanted to think of her as his mum surely that wasn't a bad thing because (Y/n) was in a relationship with Ben and Carter needed the stability and it meant he was fine with their relationship and with (Y/n). It also wasn't so bad because it wasn't like it would be with Finn, Carter knew (Y/n) wasn't actually his mum but he wanted her to be anyway. With Finn if he started calling (Y/n) his mum in a few years he could actually believe it because he was so young and impressionable.
There were tears in Ben's eyes and he was biting his lip hard to stop himself from getting overwhelmed just like Carter. Ben knew with James' mum she didn't want to be seen as a mum to Carter and that hurt but Ben had to understand that Carter was hard to deal with and he couldn't expect her to take Carter on as her own. With Finn's mum she tried with both boys but Ben was overwhelmingly happy she didn't connect with them in case she had ended up hurting them too.
He never thought he would be with someone who would be willing and who would actually connect with all three of his boys. But she was already joined at the hip with James, Finn was growing closer to her every day and a lot quicker than he got closer to other people. And Carter was the hardest to get to know and feel easy around but here (Y/n) was, connecting with Carter so good that he was desperate to feel like she was his mother.
When Ben managed to nod at (Y/n) to say whatever she felt was right, (Y/n) could feel her own eyes glossing with tears.
"I'd love to be your mum."
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salexectrian-heir · 3 years
Text
messages from last night update
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chapter below the cut | ao3 link
✧ Oracle ✧
SEPT 1ST 4:57 AM
[Joker] Hi
[Joker] Story time
[✧ Oracle ✧] i see yusuke returned ur phone
[Joker] Aha, yeah. After swearing on my life I would not make any more poor life choices
[Joker] I assume that was your doing
[✧ Oracle ✧] ur welcome
[Joker] Hmm well I might not have sworn hard enough
[✧ Oracle ✧] ???
[Joker] bet you 500 yen you can’t guess where I woke up this morning (without hacking my location)
[✧ Oracle ✧] oh god akira… jail?
[✧ Oracle ✧] again??!
[Joker] No
[Joker] Better
[✧ Oracle ✧] !!?
[Joker] On the catwalk of the auditorium
[✧ Oracle ✧] BRUH
[✧ Oracle ✧] didnt yusuke like walk u home???
[Joker] He did
[Joker] I just didn’t stay home after
[✧ Oracle ✧] (-_-;)・・・
[✧ Oracle ✧] but don’t they lock up the buildings at night….
[Joker] ...
[✧ Oracle ✧] also i’m p sure catwalks are at least fifteen meters in the air??
[Joker] ...
[Joker] I am surprisingly still very dexterous while intoxicated
[✧ Oracle ✧] o m g
[✧ Oracle ✧] what possessed u to sneak out of the dorm, pick a lock, scale scaffolding, and fall asleep on a metal beam is  / literally /  beyond me
[Joker] Me too, It's all very...fuzzy after getting back to the dorms
[Joker] Maybe I was a cat in a past life
[✧ Oracle ✧] cat!kira
[✧ Oracle ✧] congrats u now have a fursona to add to your growing list of ‘sonas
[Joker] Cat!kira go prrr?
[✧ Oracle ✧] HAHAH a self-drag?
[✧ Oracle ✧] Someone truly is hungover and regretting his life choices
[Joker] Jokes aside, all that flexibility training I did in hs apparently paid off
[Joker] I have no new bruises or injuries that I am aware of so I made it up in one piece. Somehow.
[✧ Oracle ✧] wait hold up I thot all that “training” u’d say u were doing was just like horny akira code for “going to mess around with Sumi after school”
[✧ Oracle ✧] don’t tell me u actually were doing gymnastics with her that whole time
[Joker] Okay
[✧ Oracle ✧] ????
[Joker] You literally just told me not to tell you
[✧ Oracle ✧] but was i right?! i NEED to kno if i was right
[Joker] Haha yes and no
[Joker] We did both
[Joker] is typing...
[✧ Oracle ✧] oKAY OKAY OKAY NO DETAILS (SAVE THOSE FOR ANN)
[✧ Oracle ✧] JUST CONFIRMATION THANK U next
[Joker] You have written fanfic more explicit than anything I could ever tell you I’ve done, AND I PROOF READ IT FOR YOU
[✧ Oracle ✧] ヽ(•//д//•)ノ [ok true]
[✧ Oracle ✧] but
[✧ Oracle ✧] ヽ(•̀//д//•́)ノ
[Joker] Ik Ik, I’m teasing. I won’t corrupt your virginal ears
[✧ Oracle ✧] /anyway/ people r gonna be mad jealous when they find out u dated an olympic gymnast
[Joker] She wasn’t one when we dated though so technically I didn’t
[Joker] She found out she qualified shortly before we went back to being just friends
[Joker] I think we’re both much happier this way
[✧ Oracle ✧] Obviously. you still talk to her??
[Joker] Yeah
[Joker] We caught up before the semester started
[Joker] She said she was nervous, but that’s to be expected when you’re on the global stage. Aside from that she’s fitting in really well with her new teammates. She just wishes Kasumi could have been a part of it
[✧ Oracle ✧] </3
[Joker] Yeah :( </3
[Joker] But she’s good
[Joker] Still calls me senpai though...which idk how to feel about that
[✧ Oracle ✧] lol its ~cute~
[Joker] Hmm leaning towards don’t think so
[✧ Oracle ✧] “oh ~senpai~ you’ll still watch me compete in the olympics on TV right?”
[Joker] ...did you listen in on the call
[✧ Oracle ✧] no
[Joker] “no,” she lied like a liar (I know you still have my phone bugged damn it)
***
The Phantom Thieves of Cats
SEPT 1ST 5:01 AM
[✧ Oracle ✧] *kicks down the door to the thieves den*
[✧ Oracle ✧] INARI U FAILED
[✧ Oracle ✧] GUESS WHERE AKIRA IS
[✧ Oracle ✧] (hint: not where he’s supposed 2 be)
[Fox] Preposterous! He was safely returned to his dorm room. I personally put him to bed.
[Panther] you stayed over in their dorm room Fox… isn’t he in there w/you??
[Fox] is typing...
[Fox] Ah. It appears that I am in his bed and Akira is indeed missing. I was on the floor when we went to sleep. I have no recollection of this transfer.
[Fox] I have awoken Ryuji but all he has done is throw his possessions at me in an attempt to silence my “pestering” so I do not think he will be of any help in this situation.
[Joker] Don’t bother with him Fox. He isn’t responsive until at least 9am after a night out.
[Joker] Also, why aren’t the rest of you sleeping?
[Panther] Joker! you’re alive!!! are you okay???????
[Joker] Define okay
[✧ Oracle ✧] *cackles*
[Panther] where are you?!?
[Joker] You aren’t going to guess?
[Panther] jail?
[Fox] Please let it not be true your detective arrested you last night, and you are suffering in incarceration as we type.
[Joker] Why is jail everyone’s first guess? I was only arrested once!
[Joker] Fuck
[Joker] Also, he is not “my” detective
[Fox] is typing…
[✧ Oracle ✧] u sure about that
[Joker] Oh no
[✧ Oracle ✧] pls reread our messages from last night
[Joker] Oh GOD
[✧ Oracle ✧] *cackles louder*
[✧ Oracle ✧] i can’t wait to hear what inari is about to dish out
[Panther] wait what did akira say to you @ ✧ Oracle ✧?!
[Joker] Futaba please *softly* don’t
[Fox] Last night I had to relieve you of your phone before you texted the detective prince incriminating evidence of your state of inebriation and infatuation. You were adamant that you had to send him a picture of a cat as a token of your feelings, which I objected as the image you selected was not flattering of the cat. I may have just met you a few days ago, so please tell me if I am overstepping my bounds, but I do not think sending hideous pictures of cats is a wise way of winning over this man’s affections.
[✧ Oracle ✧] pls show us the picture he wanted to send
[Fox]
[Panther] Hahahah oh akira
[✧ Oracle ✧]
[Joker] …
[Joker] I’ll be staying at this undisclosed location until further notice
[Panther] no Akira!!! seriously where are you??
[Joker] the_view_is_nice.image
[Panther] :O
[Panther] how did you get up that high???
[✧ Oracle ✧] gymnastics training
[Panther] huh? i didn’t know you were a gymnast Akira!!
[✧ Oracle ✧] im sure he’ll tell u all about it now
[Joker] -____-
[Fox] I cannot believe I failed my first mission as the Chosen One.
[✧ Oracle ✧] i can
[Fox] is typing…
[Panther] @ ✧ Oracle ✧!!!!!!
[✧ Oracle ✧] kek
[Fox] I am an utter disgrace to this friendship. How can I even call this a friendship when I have done nothing but leech from the kindness you all have bestowed upon me. How will I ever be able to show my face among you,  those whom I have failed. I must atone for the shame I have wrought.
[Joker] You didn’t fail @ Fox, and you are not a disgrace. It was my fault. I was the shitty friend in this situation. I’ll make it up to everyone, and to you Fox. I’ll think of something.
[Fox] Food would suffice.
[Joker] Dinner for a week it is.
[Fox] Delightful!
[Panther] wow he got over that fast
[✧ Oracle ✧] welcome to being friends with Inari, the path of forgiveness is through his stomach
***
✧ Oracle ✧
SEPT 1st 5:07 AM
[Joker] Slight problem
[Joker] I actually have no idea how to get down
[✧ Oracle ✧] u really r part f*cking cat
***
Regrettably, some of his life choices last night did him no favors.
Mistakes had been made. Limits and Lessons had been learned. Unfortunately the hard way.
After miraculously finding a way down off the catwalk without injury  into his dorm shower and a fresh set of clothes, Akira managed to show up for his opening shift at Big Bang Blends ten minutes early.
Haru took one look at him when he slinked into the kitchen and immediately said, “Oh dear.”
Akira spun a damp curl around his finger. “That bad, huh?”
“Uhm.” Haru offered him a wobbling, pitiful smile. “You kind of look like how I would imagine a cat that got caught outside in the rain might feel.”
He let out a self-deprecating chuckle and wandered over to the apron rack. “Fair comparison.” Selecting his off its hook, he pulled it over his head. “I’d add on that the cat also got stuck in a tree and developed a splitting migraine.”
“I know just the thing that’ll sort you out!” Haru hovered over to Akira’s side. “Whenever I--” she paused, considering her words with a finger to her lip, “overindulge,” she settled on with a giggle, “I’ll make myself a cup of my special tea. It instantly clears my head and calms my stomach.”
Akira’s stomach rolled unpleasantly. “ Special tea ?”
Haru nodded vigorously. “It works like a charm! And I’m not just saying that because I drink it, I have a friend--well, I might be overstepping if I were to call him that, we aren’t that close,” Haru sighed, “but I make it for him too when he occasionally stumbles in here in a similar state.”
“Do I want to know what’s in it?” he asked hesitantly.
Haru beamed brightly at him. “No.”
Akira groaned.
“I promise it’ll work,” Haru said, wandering out of the kitchen and over to her collection of loose leaf teas that were displayed in clear, sealed jars behind the counter. She called back to him, “You’ll perk up in no time!”
He gave her a weak thumbs up.
Picking up the task list from the side of the walk in freezer, he resigned himself to his fate of ingesting whatever the fuck concotion Haru was going to feed him. It couldn’t have been worse than what he drank last night. In all honesty, he would have been feeling way, way, worse if Yusuke hadn’t convinced him to drink so much water when they got back. Akira would like to think the fact he wasn’t curled up on the floor in the fetal position on the cafe floor was also thanks in part to the Amazake he had chosen to drink the night prior too. But the thought of the non-alcoholic sake made his stomach churn harder so he stopped that train of thought immediately, and focused on setting up the dining area.  His head felt like it weighed five pounds heavier than it usually did, which made moving it a bit of a hassle, but he had the opening sheet to finish before the cafe opened and he’d damn himself if he didn’t deliver.
What his stomach did seem safe to think about was luck stats, and that maybe Futaba was onto something when she had made that off hand comment in their chat last night. Akira was incredibly lucky to have landed two bosses ( three if he counted Sojiro but the man was more like a father than he ever was a boss) who cared more about his well being as a person than as a source of cheap labor. Watching Haru make his tea as he flipped chairs down off the tables only amplified his guilt of showing up before her utterly and unmistakably hungover.
Being the sloppy friend did not sit well with Akira.
He swore to himself as he pushed in the last chair he took down that this was the first and last time he ever did anything as stupid and irresponsible as he did last night. Not to mention, his luck wouldn’t last if he kept this up. He’d make it up to everyone somehow, and Haru in particular now. He wouldn’t let his current state impact his work.
And once he stopped feeling like dogshit and could form a coherent argument, he was going to have a long, hard talk with whichever one of his personas decided it would be great fucking idea to drink so much, scale the interior of the theatre, and fall asleep on a steel beam no greater than sixty centimeters in width. Because honestly, what the fuck ?
Even In high school, his “peak stupidity” years, he hadn’t done anything as dumb as this.
Okay, well, that was a lie.
He had done a lot of stupid, often illegal things (see: petty theft, breaking and entering) in high school that to him, had been justified. He was quite gifted at stealing and knew his way around a lock with professional proficiency, and he had gotten away with it unscathed for a very long time.
Except for the whole getting arrested and put on probation thing , which ironically had been for a crime he didn’t actually commit.
“It’s ready!”
“Thanks, Haru.”
Akira swung by the to-go counter reaching for the mystery tea waiting for him and continued on.
After thirty minutes of sipping on whatever miracle cure Haru brewed as he checked off the morning set up tasks, it fucking kicked in. The mind fog and nausea disappeared almost entirely, settling his stomach enough that he was able to keep down some Advil and melon pan with Haru for breakfast. Akira could handle the headache until the medicine took over.
He just couldn’t move too fast or too sudden (Akira was still a little too off balance for that), or turn his neck sharply (thanks to what he had drunkenly decided to use as a pillow the night before). But he powered through it as he set about stocking the various coffee beans in their containers.
The last item on the task sheet they completed together. Prepping the food items for the pastry case with all of the baked goods Haru had made the night before. In addition to mochi, goma dango, and other pastries one would expect to enjoy with tea and coffee, there was always some kind of cake. Meticulously and lovingly decorated, sliced by hand that Haru showcased in her cake display. Today’s selection was a daring one, a pink lemonade cake with delicately applied ombre pink frosting and topped with candied lemon slices that were evenly spaced, each sitting on an artful dollop of whipped white icing.
“Did you want to try a piece, Akira-kun?”
Akira glanced over from where he was sliding a tray of nerikiri into the case. A plate with a modest slice was being extended to him. Eyeing the color up close, his stomach protested. Apparently still a little too hungover to test the limits of his digestive tract with such an extravagant confection.
“It looks amazing, but I think I’ll stick to the melon pan this time Haru.”
“I can always save it for la--”
A sharp series of knocks interrupted their conversation.
From his position squatting on the floor, he checked the time on his phone. There were still five minutes until the cafe officially opened for the day. Haru had warned him there were always a few people who showed up early and failed to read the sign.
“I’ll get it,” Akira sighed, sliding the door of the pastry case shut. “You finish with the cake. I’ll handle our impatient caffeine addict.”
“Oh don’t worry the cake’s all done, I just cut the last slice.” Haru waved Akira off. “I can get him.”
Him?
He hastily straightened up, brushing a few stray sugary crumbs off his apron and immediately looked over at the entrance. Every muscle in his body seized up. Waiting outside the glass doors was one impeccably dressed and restless looking Akechi Goro. Akechi rolled his shoulder, adjusting the strap of his messenger bag while he checked his phone.
The message Akira sent Akechi last night intrusively echoed in his head the moment the former detective looked up and locked eyes with him. Pocketing his phone into his suit jacket (it had to be custom fit, because there was no way it could have cut his figure that well without tailoring), he lifted his chin ever so slightly. Akechi’s expression twisted wickedly into something that short circuited Akira’s brain.
Oh.
Fuck .
A war waged between two primal instincts in Akira’s body at the sight, the overwhelming urge to run in the face of danger clashing with a tidal wave of lust. The rush coursed through his veins, freezing him in place. Much like prey that had been cornered, his heart began to thrash against his ribs.
Akechi’s grin was sharp and salacious, a stark contrast to the innocent and winsome smile that the T.V. ready Prince so often wore. Akira didn’t know him all that well (... yet ), but God , that smile just seemed to suit Akechi so much better.
Akira got to witness this side of Akechi knowing it was reserved for only him for about two whole seconds before Akechi’s face changed, shifting into his composed, manufactured doll-like mask when Haru made it over to let him in.
The transformation gave Akira something pretty close to whiplash.
Really arousing whiplash.
“Good morning Akechi-san,” she greeted him, holding the door open with a warm smile.
“And same to you, Okumura-san,” he returned politely, stepping past her and into the cafe proper. “Pardon my early arrival, I have quite the busy day planned unfortunately and was hoping to get a jump start.” He brushed aside a few strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes with a gloved hand. “I hope your morning has been going well.”
“It’s barely started,” Akira muttered, reaching for a to-go cup to start Akechi’s order to busy himself with so he wouldn’t stare at the breathtakingly handsome man in front of him. His heart needed a break already.
Instead of writing Akechi’s name, he doodled a pair of handcuffs with the bold letters A and G within the negative space in each cuff (Akira admired his work for a brief moment and thought Yusuke would be proud). He marked the drink as a caramel latte, recalling what Haru had put down on his cup yesterday. Then proceeded to make a pour over instead.
Haru flipped the sign to open, and then said, “Very well, so far! I tried out a new cake recipe, you have to try it.”
Akechi laughed, and Akira’s stomach clenched--but this time in an all too pleasant way. Akira diverted his attention from grinding the beans for his drink to watch the detective ( Fuck! ) The sound was light and lyrical, and after what Akira witnessed… sounded totally out of place coming out of the same mouth that had held that smug, voracious grin a moment ago.
“As much as I would love to, I must decline. I cannot get into the habit of having cake for breakfast.”
“Then you must take a slice with you!” Haru walked past him and over to her cake display, lifting the glass lid and taking a piece out.
“Alright, if you insist,” Akechi conceded, coming to a stop in front of Akira, who moved on to scooping the grounds into the damp filter. The proximity made it near impossible to keep his eyes off the detective, but Akira somehow managed it, forcing himself to pay attention to his pour.
“Actually, would you mind if I borrowed your barista for a moment, Okumura-san?”
Akira snapped his head up from his preparations and met Akechi’s eyes once more ( God damnit! ). Which was a really dumb idea as a shock of pain spiked down his neck. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop from wincing.
A dangerous glint appeared in that maroon gaze that catapulted Akira’s thundering heart into his throat.
“Is he in trouble?” Haru peered over her shoulder from where she was packing a bright pink slice of cake into a to-go container.
“He might be,” Goro murmured just loud enough for Akira to hear, then broke their eye contact to address Haru, “I assure you, nothing of the sort.” He smiled that infuriatingly fake smile at her, complete with an innocent tilt of his head. “I just need to ask him a few questions, in private.”
Haru shot Akira a questioning stare, Do you need me to say no?
He shrugged nonchalantly, or as nonchalantly as someone who was having a very intense internal meltdown over an insanely attractive man could, and said, “It’s fine, Haru.” He continued to pour the scalding water in a circular motion over the coffee grounds in the filter, doing his best to quiet all the alarm bells in his head.
His response must have come off convincingly enough because Haru nodded and said, “Well, I can’t see why that would be a problem.” She hesitantly returned Akechi’s smile. “But I will need him back in a bit when the morning rush hits.”
“This shouldn’t take too long,” Akechi turned and gestured to a table in the corner of the cafe--far away enough from the counter that Haru couldn’t possibly overhear their conversation. Then under his breath he added, “As long as Kurusu-kun doesn’t resist, that is.”
Akira cleared his throat, willing his throbbing heart to drop back into its cage between his ribs. “Go on, I”ll join you when I’m finished.”
Akechi nodded, leaving the yen for his coffee on the counter and sauntered away. Akira topped off the pour over and transferred the liquid into the to-go cup. On his way around the counter he snagged what was left of his miracle tea and took a swig. He hoped it would replenish his mental reserves to handle the upcoming verbal sparring match he was sure he was about to walk into.
Akechi, in his immaculate glory, was leaning back in his chair languidly with one dark clad leg crossed. He watched Akira closely as he wandered over with their drinks. Akira suddenly felt incredibly out classed and underdressed in his usual cardigan-v neck combo he had going on compared to Akechi’s tan suit jacket and pressed button down shirt.
He slid into the seat opposite Akechi and pushed his coffee across the table. Akechi nodded in thanks and brought it to his lips.
Akira pretended he didn’t watch the way Akechi’s throat moved as he swallowed his first sip.
The detective hummed approvingly. “Black.”
“The way you actually like it,” Akira said with a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”
“Is it now,” Akechi chuckled darkly against the lid still pressed to his lips. “Sadly, my coffee preferences are the extent of where your knowledge of me ends.”
In the tenuous silence that descended after that statement, they sipped at their respective drinks. Gazes not once wavering off one another.
“I assume you know why I’m here,” Akechi finally said, cutting the tension.
“When I said ‘come get me ’ I didn’t mean ‘corner me at work ’,” Akira hissed over his cup of miracle tea.
He could think of many other, far more superior places he would have loved to be cornered by Akechi in. But Akira kept that part to himself.
The detective leaned forward, resting his chin on his fist. “You do realize if this were a real investigation and I caught you as unaware as you were this morning, you being at work with your Boss present wouldn’t have deterred me.”
Akira stole a glance at Haru, who was busy writing the specials of the day on their blackboard, then drained the rest of his tea.
Akechi followed his gaze and continued on in a saccharine tone that contradicted the alluring smile his mouth had split into again, “But since it’s not, I highly doubt you want an audience for when I bend you over the counter and take what I want from you.”
Akira promptly choked.
Any lingering doubt Akira may have had about Akechi’s preferences evaporated. Akechi knew exactly what he was saying. He had to have, right? There was no heterosexual explanation for that response.
Point to Akechi, he thought, accepting the fact his face was probably as red as the flowering plant hovering three inches above his head.
“How considerate,” Akira managed to rasp once he got his tea to go down his throat correctly. Swallowing burned like a bitch. Now he had to deal with a sore throat on top of the rebellion being staged by his heart and stomach, and the leftover vertigo from his hangover.
“Will you hand it over now?” the detective asked with a hint of sugar coated venom.
“Hate to disappoint, but you’ll be walking away empty handed this morning. I left it in my room.”
Which wasn’t a lie. In his haste to recover from last night’s  escapade and get to work on time, he hadn’t thought to grab the handkerchief. The last thing he expected was this.
“I think you’re sending me mixed signals.”.
“Am I?”
“You tell me you want one thing, then act like you didn’t expect it to come to fruition when I follow through on it so I’m curious,” Akechi titled his head and his hair shifted, shining ethereally in the early morning sun streaming through the window. “What is it you really want, Kurusu?”
For you to fuck my brains out, Akira thought. But admitting that so bluntly to Akechi’s face felt like defeat. So, he kept the stupid illusion of their game going and leaned in.
“I want to see if the Detective Prince is really as good at his job as the rumors say he is.” Akira mirrored the detective’s head tilt and offered him a crooked grin. “I won’t be that easy.”
“If you want me to physically remove it from your person, then I must insist from this point forward you carry it with you. If every time I corner you, you… aren’t ready,” Akechi’s smile grew wider, “then doesn’t that defeat the purpose? And unlike you it seems, my time and attention is limited.”
“Rude.” Akira mimicked the detective’s posture, dropping his chin into his palm. “My time is limited too. I just can’t have you stalking me at work. And--” what Akira really meant to say next was , I cannot possibly work and retain my sanity with you watching me like that all the time. But instead said, “--Think of Okumura-san’s business. You’ll scare away her customers.”
Akechi shot him an unimpressed look. “Somehow I highly doubt that.”
Wow. Cocky bastard.  
"Well,” Akira said, changing tactics by imbuing a little bit of truth, “I imagine you can relate to not wanting to be distracted at work, with your fans and all.”
“They can be...rather inconvenient at times, yes.” Akechi studied him intently. “Alright then. Let’s make a deal.”
“Making a deal with the enemy? Akechi,” Akira feigned a gasp, “don’t tell me you’re a dirty cop.”
The detective snorted into his coffee. “I’m going to choose not to entertain that comment and suggest we establish some ground rules.”
“I thought rules didn’t exist in investigations,” Akira said mischievously.
“Like I previously stated, good thing this isn’t one, then?”
They shared a private smile.
“I propose this,” Akechi said, straightening up, hands clasped on the table. “From this point on, you will carry it on your person. I will catch you off guard within the next two weeks and take back what is rightfully mine. Our working hours are exempt from this. Obviously, the common spaces in the dormitory will be too by default. Should you ever need me as your RA, that will come first and foremost, I take my duties seriously. As should you. I think you’ll find these terms agreeable and respectful of each other’s time. Unless there are any other locations you want to deem off limits.”
Akira made a show of considering Akechi’s words, tapping a finger against his cheek. This was literally the most drawn out, intellectually charged foreplay Akira had ever engaged in but he couldn’t say it didn’t excite him. In fact, there was something exhilarating about it.  
“No. Everywhere else is fair game.”
“Really?” Akechi inquired, grin breaching that rapacious territory again. “Be careful what you agree to, Kurusu.”
Akira shrugged and leaned back.
“So,” Akechi prompted, “you won’t say no, will you?”
Of course he was going to accept. So Akira simply said, “I think I’ll hold on to your handkerchief.” And then held out his hand. It felt like the right thing to do.
“Hah, excellent,” Akechi smiled and shook it firmly. The leather was soft and warm as it dragged against Akira’s palm. “Otherwise, I will be forced to order a room inspection and somehow I doubt that is how you want this to play out.”
“If you are inspecting the room while I’m in it, then I might be.”
Right after the words left his mouth, the logical part of his brain that wasn’t stuck on being hungover and horny on main finally spoke up and reminded him of the very important, expulsion worthy, major cockblock that was currently being housed in his room: Morgana.
But then Akechi’s mouth upturned devilishly, and suddenly Akira decided he’d cross that furry bridge when he got to it.
“Well, then. I must be off. Thank you for the coffee,” Akechi said, dropping Akira’s hand as he stood up. “I have an interview taping in…” he checked his phone and sighed, “just over an hour. Hopefully the trains are on schedule.”
Akira tilted his head. “Still doing those?”
“Yes, keeping up appearances on behalf of the precinct,” Akechi explained, “I may be officially on hiatus as a full time student, but I still pick up cases from time to time. The media wants to know how I balance it all.”
“Ah. Explains the get up.”
Akechi bristled at the comment, his nose wrinkling ( cute! ) and brows drawing down as he straightened his already perfectly straight tie. “What’s wrong with my outfit?”
“Nothing,” Akira teased with a lilt in voice, “It’s nice, maybe a little stuffy.” He deliberately looked Akechi up and down. “But I bet you’d look better out of it, judging by what I saw you wear the last time you showed up here.” He couldn’t fight the coy smile his mouth twisted into even if he tried. “If you’re looking to show off, those shorts from yesterday would do a better job.”
The call out was meant to fluster Akechi, but the detective’s face remained remarkably even toned. Flawless even. Too flawless.
Could he be... he's totally wearing makeup.
Akira lifted a brow pointedly.
That did the trick, earning Akira a heated glare before Akechi turned his head sharply away. The movement roughly shifted the hair around his face, revealing a sliver of skin previously hidden. To Akira’s rapidly dawning delight, the detective’s neck was rapidly turning pink.
“Shut. Up. Kurusu.”
Oh, so Akechi blushes all the way down when he’s flustered. Fascinating. Akira filed the thought away for… later.
For totally innocent purposes.
Totally.
Akira stood up and slipped in front of Akechi, demanding to be looked at. Giddy with his new discovery. “Oh? What’s this? He can dish it out but can’t take it?”
Akechi’s eyes flashed as he brought himself up to his full height, and stepped into Akira’s space. Scowling down the few centimeters he had on him, he forced Akira to take a step back. “You,” he said lowly, continuing to move forward, making Akira walk backwards until his back hit the counter, “are a brat .”
“Just figuring that out now, detective?” Akira smirked. “I thought that was obvious.”
From this close Akira could see just how gorgeous the detective’s eyes truly were. Flecks of light red dotted the center most part of his eyes, giving off the illusion of glittering in the light. He was close enough that if Akira leaned in a fraction more their noses would touch.
A very polite, soft cough came from somewhere on Akira's right.
The detective’s eyes widened in shock. He quickly put space between them again and turned to face Haru, who was standing in between the kitchen and the counter area looking anywhere but at them.
Akira owed her now a second apology.
“I wish both of you a good day,” Akechi gracefully recovered and turned on his heel. He flexed his shoulders as he opened the door but stopped with one foot out the door.
“Oh, and Kurusu-kun?” Akechi turned halfway to face him, “Be sure to check your email this afternoon.”
And then he was gone.
***
It’s Always Snack Time in Tokyo
SEPT 1ST  8:00 AM
[Takuto Maruki] Hello! I was going to wait until I saw you in person, but I can’t resist telling you the good news! I submitted the paperwork to bring on an official research assistant. The chair of the department should grant me an answer by the end of the week. The position is yours once I get the documented approval.
[Takuto Maruki] That is, if you are still interested in conducting research with me like you did over the summer
[Akira Kurusu] I am
[Takuto Maruki] Even more wonderful!
[Akira Kurusu] Won’t it be unethical if you don’t let other people apply for the position though?
[Akira Kurusu] You can’t play favoritism
[Takuto Maruki] I, fortunately, get to make the rules in this situation and I wrote that I could appoint the position to any student that met certain criteria and showed promise in the field
[Akira Kurusu] You literally wrote the position description so that only I fit that criteria, didn’t you
[Takuto Maruki] You would be correct! :D
[Takuto Maruki] So if you’re free and want to get a jump start on assisting, I was hoping to recruit you this upcoming Friday to proctor an exam.
[Akira Kurusu] An exam? The second week of class? Savage Sensei
[Takuto Maruki] It is a 300 level that meets M/W/F so the curriculum moves fast. This cohort in particular is grasping the concepts at a much faster rate than the other two I teach for this course.
[Akira Kurusu] When is it? I open the cafe Friday mornings
[Takuto Maruki] 2pm
[Akira Kurusu] Okay, I can make that work. I’ll be there
[Takuto Maruki] Wonderful! :)
***
The Phantom Thieves of Cats
SEPT 1st 11:12 AM
[Skull] yo i am not back readin any of that
[Skull] wat did i miss?
✧ Oracle ✧  Changed Skull to Edgelord Can’t Read
[Edgelord Can’t Read] I CAN EFFIN’ READ!!!
[Edgelord Can’t Read] i said i wasn’t gonna, not that i cant big difference
[Edgelord Can’t Read] ur the one who cant read
[✧ Oracle ✧] wow gr8 comeback edgelord im so offended. what r we 7yrs old
[Edgelord Can’t Read] shuddup
***
Gotta Go Fast
SEPT 1st 11:28 AM
[Skull] BRO A CATWALK?! WTF?!?
[Skull] how the eff did u get down??
[Joker] My amazing cat-like reflexes
[Skull] bro
[Skull] how u feelin btw
[Joker] You know that feeling you get when you’re about to go over the hill on a rollercoaster?
[Joker] Like that
[Skull] oof
[Skull] ill make u my ma’s soup when ur shifts over, its the best for this kinda shit
[Joker] Why is everyone being so understanding with me today
[Skull] were ur friends man we gotchu
[Joker] alsdjflskf
[Skull] uh did the rollercoaster drop or smth
[Joker] Haha no
[Joker] Thanks Ryuji
***
The Phantom Thieves of Cats
SEPT 1st 2:01 PM
[Edgelord Can’t Read] UH HOLY SHIT EVERYONE CHECK UR EMAILS
[Panther] what?? why??
[✧ Oracle ✧] im surprised u even read ur email
[Joker] Oh.
[Joker] Fuck.
***
To: Shujin Hall_5th Floor
From: Akechi Goro; Niijima Makoto
CC: Kawakami Sadayo
Subject: Violation of Dormitory Rules
Dear Fifth Floor Residents of Shujin Hall,
This is a friendly reminder that there is a strict No Pets Policy in this Residence Hall. A contraband item, a can of pet food, was located on the floor inside the trash room on Friday night. As such, we will be conducting room inspections beginning tomorrow, starting with rooms located in the Girls’ Wing. Let this be an example to all that the consequences for violating this rule will be termination of their dormitory agreement and the loss of their on campus housing status. Any additional charges will be determined by the Residence Hall Director, Kawakami Sadayo.
If you have any further information on this subject, please feel free to contact us.
We hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend.
Sincerely,
Your Resident Assistants
Akechi Goro
University of Tokyo | Class of 20XX Criminal Justice / Psychology Major | Philosophy Minor [email protected]
Niijima Makoto
University of Tokyo | Class of 20XX Criminal Justice Major | Psychology & Law Minor [email protected]
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jpegjade · 4 years
Text
Mr. Loverman (Pt. 3)
Alright frens and ferns. we’re gonna go through this shorter chapter. Still like 3 google docs pages but my fics are normally like 4-6 pages. (if you can’t tell, i’m a one-shot writer AND HAVENT WRITTEN A STORY FIC SINCE I WAS LIKE 14. shoutout to the wattpad days.) so this one is shorter bc i need to work but i wanted to put this out. part 4 will be much longer. idk how long im gonna end up making this fic in the end. ((yall gotta keep me encouraged to focus on this thing bc my adhd will in fact leave you all hanging on a cliff hanger and we wont look back lmao)))
i apologize for the shortness. i also apologize for adding the person i hate with a BURNING passion. yall just dont know. anyway, i’m so sorry. and for those who haven’t gotten to 11/12, there are no spoilers. this is like independent of that storyline and kinda after but i’ll explain a little in the next chapter. but i wanted to keep this true to the cm universe. also i didn’t want to create a wholeass character with a tragic backstory to explain why they’re a psychopath when in reality they just suck. that takes too damn long
warnings: none that i can think of. ((i dont even think i swore once. im so fucking proud. oops)) and no, i didnt proof read. so roll with any mistakes.
mr. loverman 1: Bloop
mr. loverman 2: bloop bloop 
____________________ 
“Y/n, have you seen anything or anyone suspicious lately? Anyone you recognized from one place appearing in other spaces?” Prentiss said. 
Everyone was staring at you. You felt the pressure on you to say the right thing but you didn’t know. You didn’t know what to say so you tried honesty. 
“No, not that I’ve noticed. Sorry if that makes things harder.” You sighed. 
You felt like you were letting everyone down because you didn’t notice anyone. Everything in your life was mundane and nothing stood out. You were super aware of your surroundings but you still felt like it wasn’t enough. You spent more time than ever in your apartment, which was hell but necessary with everything going on.
“Here’s the problem.” Emily started. “We have received intel that you’re on a bounty hunter’s hit list. Not only that but they have been watching you for some time now.” 
You were speechless. Who would pay to have you killed? Who did you piss off enough to pay money to have you killed? And what did this bounty hunter look like? This made you incredibly nervous and despite being away for two years, your body just reacted. 
Spencer told himself not to freak out. This didn’t mean anything. You were holding his hand tightly. It was what you used to do every time you got scared. Spencer squeezed your hand a little bit to let you know he was there and then he felt you squeeze back. You didn’t let go of his hand through the rest of the conversation but Spencer was barely paying attention. Garcia eventually ushered the two of you out of the room and back to your temporary bedroom. 
The silence between you and Spencer was incredibly loud. You let go of his hand as soon as you got to the breakroom, apologizing. 
“I shouldn’t have done that.” You said. You figured that he would know what you were talking about. You sat in your corner of the mattress where you previously sat and Spencer sat in the space he occupied before the meeting. 
“No, you were scared. It’s okay.” He said. 
Silence that seemed to last forever happened. You were thinking about him and he was thinking about you. You were both so nervous about what came next but you didn’t know what to say. It took forever to come up with something but Spencer came up with something. 
“I wasn’t lying.” Spencer looked down at his shoes. 
“About?” You said, confused. You leaned your head against the wall. You were getting so tired. 
“Missing you. You have been all that I’ve thought about through these past two years.” He said, finally looking up at you. 
“Spence…” You said, yawning. You closed your eyes for a moment. 
“I haven’t connected to anyone else as naturally as I connected with you.” He said. 
“Well, I guess I can’t say anything different since I haven’t been able to move on.” You said, sleepily. It had been a long day and you were beyond exhausted. When you’re that tired, anything you say is bound to be unfiltered. 
“You were the only one who cared for me, all of me, and didn’t mind everything that came with me. No one gets that. No one cares about me like you do, even now. I couldn’t bear to take the ring off because it would mean losing a piece of you. And I couldn’t do that. I may have broken off the relationship but that doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. To this day, I…” You barely said before you fell asleep. 
Spencer thought about waking you but you looked so peaceful. He hated when he was left on a cliffhanger, especially like this, but you needed rest. So Spencer gently helped you lay down and covered you with your blanket. He was about to walk outside the door to guard and take a breather but you grabbed his arm and mumbled a very small, “Stay.” 
And that’s what he did. He stayed, holding you while you slept peacefully. He was so comfortable that he eventually nodded off. That was the first time in two years that he didn’t have a nightmare that scared him awake. 
When he woke up, you were nowhere to be found. Frantically searching, he ran all over the floor before noticing it was sunrise. You loved watching the sun rise in the mornings with a cup of coffee and a nice playlist going. 
“Hey, Spence.” You said, looking out the window. You looked rested, not tired like yesterday. 
“Y/n, you scared me. I thought something happened.” He said, looking at you. How did you make a sundress look so pretty? 
“Sorry. I thought about waking you but you were smiling in your sleep, the small, happy smile you do, and I wanted you to sleep. Besides, I had Cat to keep me company.” 
Spencer’s blood ran cold. That wasn’t possible. He was jumping to conclusions and you were sure it was just an intern or someone who…
“Hey Spencie. I’m having a grand time with y/n here. She’s a ball of sunshine.” Cat said, a fake smile fading into a straight face. 
Spencer immediately grabbed for his gun but didn’t find it anywhere on his hip. 
“Looking for this?” Cat took the gun out of her bag and pointed it directly at Spencer. 
Your head could barely comprehend what was happening. You were instructed to put your hands up and walk into the conference room, sitting across from each other. 
“And no touching. That’s no fun.” Cat pointed the gun at Spencer. You noticed that she was fixated on Spencer. You guessed that they somehow knew each other.
You were already in tears. What was happening? Could you make it out of this one alive? 
_____________________
Tag list: 
@dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal
@andiebeaword
@justanothetfangirl
@fanfictionreader05 
@addie5264
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meteorherd · 3 years
Note
neb i never watched booksmart & i just looked it up bc of your posts and like. why did you impose that on me. i just read the plot on wikipedia and i’m just sitting there like ‘wtf did i just read’. i want to go back to the world where i thought it was simply a boring white wlw movie
OH NO HELP IM SO SO SORRY HDGFHRJGSJHJSKG...to be fair i thought it was a boring white wlw movie too but then everyone on my local twitter feed was raving about how it was so much more when it came out so i was like okay fine...i’ll watch it when i get around to it i guess... -_- 
i thought it was gonna be a slightly funny (super white but forgivable because it made fun of itself) movie that didnt take itself seriously about two girls trying to have fun in their senior year and THEN it fucking opened up with the main girl having some sort of shrine in her bedroom of rbg and michelle obama and from that first minute i knew i was making such a horrible horrible mistake. but i watched it all the way through anyways because i was so fascinated with how it sounded like a fucking bot that was fed nothing but 2016 election milquetoast lib tweets wrote the script. like my hatred for this movie knows no bounds i could talk about everything i hated in it all day. also the wlw scenes themselves are SO bad like if you squint you literally cant tell the difference between the two girls. ugly. horrible. im spearheading a campaign to make rotten tomatoes go bankrupt for giving whatever the hell that was a 96%
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ninaahelvar · 5 years
Text
The Stakeout (4/5)
Summary: In order to get all the information they can, the detective duo, Bakugou and Uraraka, must go on a stakeout. But close proximity may force some underlying feelings to come to the surface. Also known as “Bakugou had a really bad date and it gives him perspective”
AO3
A/N: please thank @doesitsaysassonmyuniform for all her hard work on this chapter. it wouldn’t be out without her. all the funny stuff was her. i will not take credit for her genius.
There was a heavy buzzing under his head, like a hive of angry bees had infested his pillow. He groaned, rolling over as his head throbbed. He’d drunk way too much last night.
Buzz buzz
Was it his alarm? What time was it anyway? It couldn’t have been that late in the day, not with how his room was barely lit when he’d managed to pry open his eyes. It was a small blessing - if he’d been late for work on top of everything else, he might just kill someone.
Buzz buzz
He didn’t hear his alarm, so it must be his phone. He had vague recollections of the night before, passing out on his bed before he could even get undressed. Had he put his phone on silent?
With another groan, he wrenched his head up out of the cradle of his arms, and fumbled for his phone.  He squinted in the morning light - it was low, but not enough to avoid hurting his eyes - and finally flipped his blankets in frustration. It flew out onto the floor with a thud and he stretched out to get it, his stomach rising into his throat as he moved.
Extremely hungover - noted.
By the time he picked up his phone, it had finally stopped buzzing, leaving a faint ringing in his ears at the sudden silence. Bakugou frowned as he turned on the screen, the blur of notifications clearing as his eyes focused.
Shitty Hair (9 Missed Calls)
Shitty Hair: Holy shit I can’t believe u did it!
Shitty Hair: (10 Messages)
Did what? Why was that fucking bastard calling him at - he checked the top of his phone - six in the morning anyway?  He unlocked his phone and opened his texting app, and was met with a wall of grey message bubbles.
Shitty Hair: Uraraka just txted me!!
(missed call)
Shitty Hair: Seriously dude pick up
(missed call)
Shitty Hair: if ur fkn asleep rn I stg
(missed call)
Shitty Hair:  I can’t believe u did it!
(missed call)
Shitty Hair: It better not be a joke or ill kill u
(missed call)
Shitty Hair: ok I don’t care if ur asleep ill make u answer
(missed call)
Shitty Hair: Dude she’s super freaked rn cause u wont respond
(missed call)
Shitty Hair: look im porud u finally did it but u cant send that and then go silent
(missed call)
Shitty Hair: *proud
Shitty Hair: HOLY SHIT I CANT BELIEVE U DID IT!
Bakugou was starting to have a bad feeling, one entirely outside of his hangover. It felt like something was squeezing his chest, and it was getting tighter and tighter the more he read. He looked at the icon, and winced at the little number telling him he had more unread messages.
From Uraraka.
Shit.
He clicked on the thread, and scrolled all the way up to his last message.
@ 1:37am
You: heyyyy want som fuk??
You: shit no i mean
You: ur hot
You: it pisses me off
You: we should fuck tho
You: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No. No no no no no no. No! Fuck! No! The universe was fucking playing with him, right? This couldn’t be real. Fuck! It was, it was staring him in the fucking face! FUCK! He was going to explode his entire apartment.
Round Face: ...what?
Round Face: Bakugou wtf?
Round Face: Do you mean that??
Round Face: How drunk are you rn??
Round Face (2 missed calls)
Round Face: I’m gonna murder you
In the midst of Bakugou’s midlife - soon to be end of life - crisis, his phone started to ring, Kirishima’s face beaming as his name appeared. Bakugou immediately answered, pressing his phone to his ear as he hung his head between his legs.
“What did you do?” he asked, and Bakugou did the only thing he could think of.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“You fucking idiot,” Kirishima laughed and Bakugou threw himself backwards on his bed, hand pressed to his forehead.
“I WAS DRUNK! I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER!”
“Well lucky for you phones don’t exist and neither does she - oh wait.” Bakugou could hear that smug voice of his radiating through the fucking phone and he wanted to burn it in his hand.
“NOOOOOOOOO!” Bakugou whined, feeling completely beside himself - unaware of how ridiculous he was sounding. He was just having the worst day of his life, and it was showing.
“Hey, at least it’s out there now, right? She didn’t say no.”
“I wanna die. I’m jumping out the window.”
“You are the biggest drama queen I know,” Kirishima laughed, and Bakugou put his head between his legs, a sickening feeling rising in his throat and the overwhelming urge to projectile vomit across his apartment was becoming an almost welcoming idea.
“I will kill you later,” Bakugou groaned, shaking his hand through his hair, over and over again until he felt like he was at ease. He didn’t stop for a while.
“Oh, so you’re actually coming into work?” Kirishima sounded surprised, and it dawned on Bakugou...this day was going to be his last - he was deciding it before it was even over, his last day alive would be that day.
“I don’t fucking know, give me an hour to die first,” Bakugou said, knowing this would be the first time that he was late - and having no other excuse than being a fucking drunken moron.
Bakugou stumbled into work, his clothes a mess, hair barely done, and collar sticking up to hide his face. With every step, it felt like eyes were on him, watching his every move, and it made every hair on his body stand on end - he needed to fight something soon otherwise he’d go stir crazy.
Before interacting with anyone else, a bounding bubble of joy crashed alongside him, knocking him off balance. Bakugou stared back at his partner who smiled like a child - and his heart was racing like an idiot.
Her expression fell, clicking her tongue as she took him in. Why the fuck was he feeling so hot? He felt like he was a rising thermometer, about to burst at the fuckng end. He was a walking infomercial, some fucked up idiot that can’t keep it down.  
“Wow you look wrecked. Sleep well, Blasty?” she asked, a slight pout as she stepped closer to him.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“Not as wrecked as your face.” The two of them frowned at the words. Why did he speak at all? “Anyway, Case!”
FUCKKKKKKKK STOP TALKING!
If a villain could come in through the window and suplex him out of existence right now, he’d be grateful. So. Fucking. Grateful.
Now, Bakugou wasn’t a religious man. He didn’t believe in a higher power. That felt like a mistake - because God was punishing him for his abject atheism. This was a goddamn joke, and God was clearly laughing.
If he got down on his knees and started praying, would it stop?
Uraraka quirked an eyebrow at him, before answering. “Yeah, we had a new lead come in this morning and most teams are on it, you missed Aizawa’s speech.”  
Fuck.  Aizawa knew he was late.
Praying wouldn’t save him now.
Uraraka guided them both to their desks, rattling on about the case -  something about a guy getting into some dark shit with trafficking young kids. In the end, Bakugou found concentrating hard. He would normally listen and make sure to take notes when it came to figuring out who the guy was - but he just couldn’t stop watching her. He watched and wondered why the hell she wasn’t saying anything. Uraraka replied to the messages, she even called - and now it was radio silence.
Normally, Bakugou would yell about it - but it felt wrong to bring it up, it could embarrass them both, and although he didn’t embarrass easy, this was completely new for him. Embarrassment came easier with all that romantic shit. It was stupid and frustrating and Bakugou hated the fact that he fell for it all, after years of denying himself.
Bakugou wasn’t built for this shit, and it definitely showed.
As Uraraka went to talk to eye witnesses - a task that Bakugou was strictly not allowed to do anymore - he went to the kitchen, making himself a coffee and praying it woke him up enough to stop the nagging sensation in his heart and the throbbing in his head.
A whisper then came into his ear.
“Hey, want some fuck with that coffee?”
Bakugou spat out his coffee and it sprayed across the kitchen bench. Kirishima laughed behind him, moving away to grab a donut - the fucking prick.  Bakugou was meant to be safe here, away from her and this fucker had to come and ruin it.  
Bakugou coughed, thumping his chest before turning to glare at the other man. “Could you keep your fucking voice down, Shitty Hair?”
“I don’t know - can you look Uraraka in the eye?” Kirishima quirked his eyebrow and Bakugou stepped towards the pointy haired bastard.
“Want me to rip yours out?”
“Tetchy tetchy. Don’t lash out at me cause you’re not getting any.” Kirishima stuffed the donut into his grinning teeth, and Bakugou tried to burn holes into the fucker’s skull.
“Murder. Expect murder.”
Kirishima only laughed, waving at Bakugou as he went back to his desk. In the back of his mind, Bakugou could only think the asshole was talking about him - gossiping about Bakugou’s idiotic love life and how ridiculous this all was.
Bakugou wanted to fucking die.
The window looked so inviting, calling to him like a siren’s song.
As he sat in the kitchen, looking over notes on the case he hadn’t paid attention to, a loud blaring noise came over the speakers of the precinct. It was unusual for an alarm to go off - on rare occasions when fire alarm detected smoke (which may have been Bakugou - no on proved it was) or emergencies. With the chaos that was soon surrounding him, Bakugou guessed the latter.
“What the fuck is going on?” Bakugou asked as Kirishima ran back towards the equipment room.
“Genzo’s been spotted. We’ve gotta go,” he panted as he ran. He didn’t even stop.
Aizawa burst from his office, his scarf that was rarely off was primed at the ready. “He’s on the move! Everyone get going!” he demanded, stopping short of the door to look back at Bakugou, glaring. “That includes you, Bakugou!” he snapped, and Bakugou sighed, throwing aside his paperwork to head into the equipment room.
Kirishima handed him all his guards and gauntlets, the two rushing out as Uraraka was fixing her earpieces in, rolling her shoulders to prep herself. Bakugou smirked, watching as she worked her magic as she got ready for a fight. Regardless of how much of an ass he made of himself, he still couldn’t get over Uraraka being a goddamn badass at her job.
They got to the site of Genzo’s attack. He had completely wrecked a transport vehicle, exploded it like an atomic bomb and was causing a fucking disaster zone by the sheer amount of electric power around him.
“Any casualties?” Bakugou asked, tightening his gauntlets and making sure they were ready to go when he needed them.
“Two police officers that we know of,” Aizawa said, going over the short notes he was given by officers on the scene.
“Any officers we know?” Uraraka asked, her voice a little strained as she asked. Bakugou looked over to her.
“None,” Aizawa replied. Bakugou watched as Uraraka sighed. Deku. He knew who she was thinking of, and it made a spot in between his shoulder blades ache. He bound his fists and kept his attention on the chaos. This guy was burning every fuse within his view, drawing all of it to him and sending it back at people.
“Our main priority is to protect civilians, and keep him away from the generators. He probably saw he was close to the power plant - we have to keep him away and out of reach of that power. We have no idea what he’ll do with it.”
And with that, the teams were divided - one person on civilians, the other on containment. Both Uraraka and Bakugou knew their place without even a glance. Bakugou set off an explosion as Uraraka moved a group of worried people out of the way. She was great, when another eruption came through, she’s catch them in time and float them to safety - barely even registering that she’d activated her quirk.
When Bakugou set off an explosion that ripped up the entire road - something he knew he’d get in deep shit over later - he watched as the other agents got into position, preparing for their next move and knowing the reach of Bakugou’s quirk. The ground ripped up and threw Genzo around, knocking him against a building and an audible yell of pain rumbled through the area. It gave them time to evacuate. It’s all they needed right now.
Uraraka went to Bakugou’s side, panting a little as she pointed. “Group, ten o’clock. You got this?” she asking, pointing to the group of huddled people just across from Genzo. Bakugou scoffed at Uraraka’s words.
“Tch, who the fuck do you think I am?”
“Yeah, yeah, just wait for my signal,” she laughed, moving off, touching pieces of rubble that were easy to float. Bakugou smirked, watching as they floated skyward and eventually just guiding her hands on all the rubble she passed with her quirk activated. It wasn’t long before Uraraka found the stuck bystanders and pointed them to a safe route out of the danger zone. But Genzo was quicker than either of them had anticipated, rising from his injured state, rolling his shoulders with a tight grimace on his face.
Genzo roared, sapping the power from a nearby building, the electricity crackling over his skin and bared for a quick release. He wanted to inflict damage and make it count - Bakugou could see it in his eyes. Genzo looked for anything that was moving. The civilians. Uraraka saw it too, and she did something stupid.
She knew it too.
“Get back!” Uraraka called to the civilians, and Bakugou watched in horror as Genzo reacted first - her voice drawing too much attention. Her warning, was an attraction. The fucker moved quick - faster than any of them could have expected, and Bakugou redirected his explosions, trying to counter as best he could to the new position. He set off an explosion behind him, sending him to their location as fast as he could.
He wasn’t gonna make it.
“Uraraka, move!”
She turned her head, eyes widening and arms coming out to block far too late as the energy surge hit her full force. Uraraka was knocked so far back, she’s skidding across pavement like it’s slick. When she stops, she’s flinching, over and over again - her body reacting to the electric current running over her body.
He saw her hands come together, letting the meteor shower rain down, catching Genzo off guard and trying to evade the oncoming onslaught. He wasn’t expecting Bakugou though.
He was only a split second behind.
“DIE YOU FUCKING BASTARD!”  
Bakugou came bounding in, hands directed at the target and firing off two of the most explosive blasts he had ever mustered. It knocked Genzo to the ground, and Bakugou landed over him, his fits binding tight as he repeatedly punched - throwing him about as the bastard laughed. Once Bakugou finally cracked one of Genzo’s teeth, his face a bloody mess of what it once was - Bakugou regained his sense and tossed Genzo off to the side.
In the aftermath, there was silence - waiting for the next thing to fall or the next blast to knock over a bunch of people. But it was just simply silence. In the ash and smoke, Bakugou waded through it, leaving Genzo to whatever fate he had left him in, finding his partner curled  up and in pain.
Bakugou dropped to her side, hands fluttering around her useless as he took her in. This was bad. This was fucking bad. Her clothes were a disaster, the giant hole in her vest giving way to blistered and blackened skin. Some of it had fused to the fabric, and it made bile rise up in his throat just to see it.  He didn’t even know if he could touch her but one look at her glassy eyes made it impossible not to move.  
The ozone in the air made his skin stand on end - and that was the only reason - as he pulled her into his lap as gently as he could. “Hey Round face,” he lightly tapped her cheeks and she turned to look at him. Her brown eyes were so unfocused. “Stay with me, fucker.”
Her face was so pale and her mouth moved wordlessly for a moment before she was able to speak. “You called me Uraraka.”
His throat was tight. “Yeah well you’d kill me if I called you Round face in public, Round face.”
Her lips quirked ever so slightly, eyes looking somewhere over his shoulder. “You just did…ugly.”
“Yeah I guess I did.”
Kirishima landed heavily at their side, and his breath hitched when he saw her chest. “Dude..”
“Genzo?”
Kirishima shook himself. “Right. He’s out - you did a number on him. The police have got it covered. EMT’s should be here any second.”
Bakugou brushed some hair out of her face - it was just getting all tangled and sweaty anyway.  She didn’t even notice. “You with me Round Face?”
“Yeah - but- but my chest feels -” She tried to get up and he had to force her back down.
“Fuck don’t move okay - you’re gonna be fine.” He scanned the street, and couldn’t push down the relief as the familiar jackets of the EMT’s came into view. “Hey! We need some help over here!”
People ran over, moving Bakugou against his will. But in the end, when he watched Uraraka flinch in pain, he knew he wasn’t needed anymore. Regardless of how desperately he wanted to stay. They were fragile with her, placing her gently into the stretcher, and finally into the ambulance. Driving away, Bakugou felt his heart lurch.
Nakamura Genzo was captured easily, given more restraints and heavier security around him. They treated him for his injuries - third degree burns, his entire right side was a mess of broken ribs and bruises, and the left was a little less severe. Bakugou needed to work on his left hook apparently. Genzo had a punctured lung from one of his ribs, and his front teeth were busted, but it didn’t matter to Bakugou. He was taken in - he was completely taken care of. Bakugou just cared about one thing.
~*~*~
Hospitals were always a place of pain - mostly for Bakugou on certain missions, yet now it was different. The fluorescent lights were straining his eyes as he walked through the halls - the constant wailing and crying was enough to keep him away too. Yet, she was there. His partner was laid up in a hospital bed in whatever fucking condition Genzo left her in. Bakugou was told the room number and he walked to it with bound fists at his side.
Flowers were already placed in her room, cards lining the benches with well wishes. Uraraka was already propped up - though there had been a day between her injuries and his visit. The rest of the team had already gone to see her. Bakugou was questioned a fuck tonne in order to explain Genzo’s injuries. He didn’t have much else to say other than “what would you rather me do? Beat him within an inch of his life, or let him kill everyone in the area?”
After that, he was allowed home, where he stared at his phone waiting for an update.
Kirishima texted late saying Uraraka was asking after him.
Bakugou knew he had to go see her after that.
He hung back by the door as Uraraka stopped playing with her phone, smiling down to whoever was contacting her. She looked up and her smile dropped, like seeing him was more of a shock than a surprise. Bakugou’s jaw set tight and his heart felt like it was trapped in between two ribs - unable to beat without causing him pain.
“Bakugou, hey, I was wondering when you’d -”
“What the hell was that?” he snapped, his chest a mess of emotions he would never allow himself to process.
Uraraka sighed, scratching lightly at her brow. “I know I was a little -”
“You were reckless and put yourself in danger for that shitty mission,” he snarled, moving to the foot of her bed. Her once soft expression turned to that of defiance, her brow crinkling in frustration.
“Hey! I’m not as fragile as you -”
“I don’t think you’re fragile, moron! You were putting your life in danger for nothing,” he said, hands gripped tight to the edge of her bed.
“Don’t be an idiot,” she spat back, folding her arms over her chest.
“What?” His brow knit, watching as she stared back at him, anger etched into her features.
“You’re being an asshole, saying you think I can take it, but then say I can’t because I’m weak. I can fucking take it!”
“I know you can fucking take it, but I can’t! Not like this!” The rage let slip the words that were held back - anger and frustration finally touching at the parts of himself he wanted to hide away. His hands bound together, tight fists by his side as his jaw set. If he couldn’t unbind his teeth, he wouldn’t need to answer her obvious question.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
There it was.
“Don’t do it again, idiot,” he replied, voice breaking and pushing himself off the bed, moving out of the hospital room and going home. He had the day off anyway.
It was just mistake after mistake.
Words said.
Actions not taken.
Secrets let slip.
Everything was a goddamn mistake.
With his head in his hands, Bakugou could feel regret gripping him, like a force that bound him to the feelings that made him scared of himself. She made him scared. No one could make him fear the unknown - pain, injuries, death - it was all he ever craved. But she went down, and everything came flooding over him, like a fucking tidalwave, saturating his being until he was as desperate as any other fucker on the planet.
It wasn’t Bakugou.
And it all made him scared. Of Uraraka. For Uraraka.
What did it all mean when everything else was a fucking mess? He hated that he couldn’t piece himself together, unravelling like a perfectly tied up coil coming apart by one tight pull.
Word went around that Uraraka was released from the hospital after two days, and given a week’s bed rest. She deserved more for all the work she did, but Bakugou knew she’d bounce back sooner or later.
Bakugou was midway through writing a report for Aizawa when a booming voice called out through the precinct. “Hey! Asshole!” The whole room turned, seeing Kirishima storming through. He wasn’t the type of dude that got pissed off easily, so it was a surprise. Then, he pointed directly at Bakugou. “Yeah you!”
“The fuck did you just call me?” Bakugou said, standing and standing face to face with the bastard.
“You haven’t gone to see Uraraka, I get to call you what I like!”
Bakugou rolled his eyes, stepping back from Kirishima and going back to his desk. “I don’t have to do shit all,” he replied, only for Kirishima to haul him back, fists in each other’s clothes - the two like gasoline and fire, ready to erupt at any moment.
“She’s fucking expecting you, so go!” Kirishima replied, his features hardening, expecting the fight.
“Who are you to demand -”
“I’m your best friend, so listen to me and go see Uraraka. Tonight!” he yelled. The precinct was silent, and Bakugou suddenly felt seen - that there was something telling everyone about he and Uraraka other than being partners. He didn’t want to be seen. Bakugou shoved Kirishima back, straightening out his clothes as he looked back at the spikey haired bastard.
“Fine! Fuck,” he swore, murmuring curses under his breath as he went back to his work, holding back on his anger.
It wasn’t as though he didn’t care about Uraraka. She’d had injuries worse than this. Fuck, Bakugou had stayed at her house while she had a broken leg and a few broken ribs before - cooking, cleaning, doing her laundry. This was different. She didn’t seem to need him like before.
Maybe he was just…
Scared wasn’t the right word.
He wasn’t ready.
After everything that had happened, he wasn’t ready for her to see him and maybe understand what he said.
But he did have to see her. Check in.
It was only right.
~*~*~
It was weird, holding a bag of things for her as he stood outside her door. It was a crumbly old apartment building with like no space other than the essentials. With most of Uraraka’s money going to her parents, Bakugou understood why she stayed there, but for once he’d wish she’d think about herself.
Huffing, he knocked on the door. It was harder than he anticipated, but it didn’t matter. With barely a second to straighten out his shoulders when Uraraka opened the door. He felt a lump in the back of his throat when he saw her. It had been four days since she left the hospital, and four days since they’d seen each other. She had a few tiny cuts and bruises on her arms and on her cheek, but other than that - she was just Uraraka.
She was in grey tracksuit pants and an oversized hoodie she’s gotten at their time with the agency. It was far too big, slipping off her shoulder as she took Bakugou in.
“Bakugou,” she said, voice a little shaken. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
He gave a vague shrug. “Kirishima.”
“Oh, okay.” Uraraka cleared her throat before she opened the door a little wider. “Come in,” she said, gesturing for him to enter. He followed and went inside, handing her the bag as she walked past him.
“Here,” he grumbled, focusing his attention to the floor. She peered inside the bag before gasping.
“Mochi donuts?! Thank you,” she smiled, tucking hair behind her ear.
“It’s better than the nothing I was going to get you,” he replied.
“But Kirishima talked you into it?” Bakugou returned a vague ‘tch’ sound before he stood back in her hallway and Uraraka was wandering into her kitchen.
“How’s the burn?” he asked, clearing his throat as his arms folded over his chest. He wasn’t sure what the fuck to do with himself. He felt cornered, that the walls might swallow him and he may never be allowed to leave - in a constant state of waiting for her to ask about the texts and what happened at the hospital.
“It’s fine. I barely feel it. Recovery girl really helped the process along so I’m ready to get back to work.” There was a voice she put on - a raise in her chin as she acted tough. A show for him to not think any less of her. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.
“Good. That’s good,” he said, clearing his throat again and pushing off from the wall. “I only came ‘cause shitty hair made me. I’m gonna leave,” he said, going towards the door, ready to open it.
“What did you mean in the hospital?” she asked, voice quiet compared to earlier. She was scared. His hand was at the handle, inches from turning the knob, but he turned, looking back at Uraraka as she fiddled with the ends of her hoodie.
“What?”
She raised her chin, fingers still at the ends of her sleeves, nervously pulling at them. “I’m not repeating myself.”
He huffed. “I didn’t mean -”
“I’m tired of your shit Bakugou!” She yelled, and he stared across at her in shock. When he didn’t reply, she continued. Uraraka almost charged him as she spoke, getting right into his space and not backing away for a second. “If you lie to me, I swear to god, I’m going to fling you out the window, now tell me!”
She stared at him, a rage that only Bakugou could bring out of her. And in the midst of it, the scared teenager that couldn’t get over a crush was hammering away and begging for his chance. In the end, the man won out, and acted in the only way he knew how to.
Bakugou wasn’t a guy of many words.
So he didn’t use them.
He surged forward.
He didn’t dare to touch her, only kissing her as swiftly as body could allow, towering over her and making her stagger backwards. She gripped into his shoulders, responding with the most beautiful lips he had ever tasted. Then, she pulled back, staring back - no anger, just confusion, written into her features.
“W-what? Does this -”
“Stop fucking talking, round face,” he growled back, forehead resting against hers. He tried to dive right back in, only managing to steal a small kiss before she pulled away. Bakugou froze, watching as a smile grew on her lips right before she stole another. He smirked, knowing the game she was playing.
She tempted and teased, pulling back the moment Bakugou was about to latch his lips to hers, to never part them for as long as his lust would hold out. Whatever she she was doing, she knew the exact way to have Bakugou fall for it - she was going to have Bakugou everyway she wanted him, and he fucking knew it. All the while, it wound him up, like he was a jack-in-the-box, and god, was he ready to spring out and surprise her.
In one swift guide of his arm, he pulled her in by her waist, snaring her lips with his own and kissing her as sharply as he needed. He wanted her, and he wanted her the moment he stepped foot into her apartment. Pressing her up against the wall, she let out a soft gasp against his mouth, but he wanted to surprise her - do everything that every ounce of lust within him wanted to do. Her sweats were still midway down her thigh but they weren’t off, which gave Bakugou every excuse. Turning Uraraka around, her hands pressed against the wall - he bent and took down the remaining parts of her pants, bending down and watching the way her body swayed with each move he made.
Bakugou couldn’t help himself, hand squeezing into her ass, the bounce and shake of it making everything in him rise - adrenaline and lust surging across him. He teeth scraped across one cheek before he bit into it a little harder. Uraraka mewled, hands clawing at the wall - hard enough for Bakugou to hear - and as Bakugou kissed at the spot he not-so-delicately bit into, her hands released, reaching behind her to gently stroke at his hair. She looked over her shoulder as Bakugou took her underwear down swiftly, he wasn’t going to waste any more fucking time.
Gripping in once more, he pushed his face in the crevasse of her cheeks, tongue stroking at her tender lips and immediately making Uraraka rise on her toes. She fell back down, pushing her hips into his face, and holy fuck did he enjoy it. Bakugou held onto her thighs, widening her stance as he lapped up all that she was feeling. Uraraka whined, panting as he kept his mouth on her entrance, delivering his tongue in just to hear her moaning gasps.
“Oh, Bak -” she whined, and his hand snaked from her thigh to taking his tongue’s place, fingers circling her folds before entering her slowly. He slowly rose to his feet, her hand slipping from his hair back to the wall, and he kissed up the back of her neck to have her shiver against him. “Baku -”
“Katsuki,” he whispered in her ear.
“Fuck, Katsuki!” she said, pushing her hips against his hand, forcing it directly into his hips. She may not have known she was doing so, but she rocked perfectly onto his crotch, his cock aching inside his jeans. “Right there, right there! Right there!” she cried, her voice soft and desperate. She spurred him on, fingers working overtime just to hear what it would sound like when she finally came.
Her hips pushed back hard against him, her panting becoming a little harder to control and Bakugou could feel her around his fingers - Uraraka was at the end of her tether. She reached behind herself once more, hand on his wrist as she breathed in heavy gasps. He didn’t know if she was trying to stop him, or was telling him to keep going - either way, she crashed against the wall, crying out a little moan and pushing her ass straight up against his hips.
“Fuck,” he groaned, feeling the strain in his pants. “I’m not going to last if you keep pushing your ass into me,” he said into her ear. Uraraka looked over her shoulder, brushing hair from her face.
“I didn’t say you had to,” she said. Tempt and tease.
“Fuck,” he groaned, tugging on her arm to turn around, “you asked for it,” he warned her before bending down and picking her up into his arms.
Uraraka held onto his face, kissing him as he staggered around her cramped apartment. He fell into walls, struggled past the doorway, and had them falling into the bed. Uraraka giggled, kissing Bakugou before he rolled his hips against her, making her moan a little more. He just needed one more thing before he parted from her. He stood up from the bed, stripping himself of his shirt and kicking off his shoes. Uraraka took the cue and shrugged out of her hoodie and shirt, leaving her only in her bra. As Bakugou snapped off his belt and pushed his pants down, Uraraka unclasped her bra and tossed it aside.
Remembering where he’d seen them the last time - an awkward conversation was had when Bakugou was putting away laundry - he went to Uraraka’s dresser drawer, finding the condoms and tearing at the edge of one. He started to place it on when he saw Uraraka adjust herself slightly. Sitting up, Uraraka moved over to him, her hand gracing over down from his chest to his stomach, fingers tempting to down his length. He caught her wrist loosely, pushing it aside to her confusion.
“What are you doing?” he asked, leaning over her, forehead pressed to her own.
“I wanted to make you feel good,” she said with a flutter of her eyelashes. Bakugou smirked.
“Nah, this is all about you, lie back down.” She did as she was told, crawling her way up the bed and waiting for him to follow after.
Bakugou wasted no time - he could have savoured the beauty of her in all her glory, gaze at her wonder, but he wanted to touch her more than anything. He crawled up the bed, sucking at her skin, nipping underneath her breast and sucking at the edge of her collarbone. All the while she hummed her approval, nipping into his shoulder briefly as they came face to face once more.
Moving his hand down between them, grazing against her most sensitive bundle of nerves, her body arching into his touch. He smirked, the briefest of touches could have her responding, he wondered what more could do for her. When he guided his length inside her, Uraraka’s hands went to his shoulders, pulling their bodies together.
There was only the sound of Uraraka’s panting in the room, but it couldn’t last - Bakugou knew himself too well, he wouldn’t be able to stay still for much longer. He moved his hips slow at first, gaining speed and arching into every thrust to get the best noises out of Uraraka. She obviously hated that she was getting louder and louder. But his ego sure as fuck loved it.
“Katsuki,” she mewled, nails clamped down into his back, raking up as his thrusts came in quicker succession. “Yes! Yes!” she cried, her hand on the back of his neck.
She pulled him down, kissing him roughly, and he enjoyed every fucking second of it. She bit into his bottom lip when she got excited. Bakugou couldn’t help himself, he rocked in harder, taking up the back of her knee. Uraraka arched her back, panting a little harder than even before.
In her movements, he was finally able to look at her without the overwhelming urge to take her. There were scars that littered her skin, some old, some new, following the curves of her waist and hips. Her breasts were round, much like the rest of her, and tempting as everything else - Bakugou kissed down her neck to take one of her nipples between teeth, just to have her push into him again. It worked to perfection, her breast rising beautifully into his mouth, and her hips bucking into his own when he gave a harder thrust. She was perfect to understand, to love and hold in a single moment.
“Ah!” Uraraka said suddenly, her body recoiling in a single beat. Bakugou’s eyes snapped to hers, watching her face contort in discomfort. He pulled away slightly, letting her body fall to where she needed, but never leaving the warm depths between her thighs. Uraraka sighed, laying back into the sheets and looking up at Bakugou with pinker cheeks than usual. He wanted to smile, but he with the sudden halt on everything, he wasn’t sure if the passion had fallen to its wake.
“Shit, are you okay?” he asked, hand ghosting over her side. Uraraka’s hand went to the side of Bakugou’s face, palm to his cheek and guiding him to look back at her.
“I’m fine,” she nodded, “just take it a little slower right now,” she said, a little nervous with a soft laugh to ease her discomfort of their eyes meeting.
“You sure?” he asked once more.
“Yeah,” she replied, Bakugou once again moving his hips, a slow roll to gauge her reaction. Uraraka’s head fell back into the pillow, hand tight in his bicep. “Yes, like that,” she approved, and he smirked.
Bakugou bent onto his elbows, arms snaking behind her back and propping her up into his arms. Uraraka squeaked, the sighing as she sunk down onto his length.
“What are you doing?” she asked, all the while, rocking herself back and forth. Bakugou grit his teeth, breathing out a moan into her chest before looking up at her with a satisfied grin.
“I can’t do all the work, round face,” he said. She leaned down, hands either side of his face, kissing him in a slow, deliberate manner - making them both savour it.
Everything was slow, Uraraka’s pace, soft strides to ease her into it - or perhaps it was the way he hissed everytime she moved, liking the way he sounded, much like he had done to her. Then, she gained confidence and speed, hips jerking in a quicker pace, before she just tried to gain satisfaction by any means possible. She was glorious.
He could feel her unwinding, with every move, and every bounce back onto his cock, he could feel her walls clamping down around him. Whenever she moved down upon him, he’d trust him, making her jump a little in his lap. Before either of them knew it, Uraraka cried out, clutching Bakugou to her chest, hands winding into his hair as she panted out moan after moan.
She sounded like a symphony - gorgeous at her ecstasy. Bakugou watched her move on top of him, her hands stroking through his hair as her eyes looked into his own. He’d never had sex like it - something that made him feel understood, that every movement, all the pace, it was perfect to know who they were between them. Bakugou never wanted to watch anyone else on top of his cock ever again, not unless they looked as beautiful as she did.
In a moment, between his utter wonder and the growing need to come completely undone, Uraraka pulled hard into Bakugou’s hair. He hissed and Uraraka moaned, arching into his new position wonderfully well and he wanted to just take everything he had left in him and please her to every extent he could.
Two could play at that game. He may not have been able to move as fast as he could have liked, but he knew she’d not protest to it. With his hand moving up her back, he took a fistful of her hair and pulled, her neck exposed to him, and fuck he felt hungry for it. His mouth descended upon it, sucking and kissing at her throat, feeling the vibrations of every moam against his tongue. He loved it, and Uraraka knew he enjoyed it too much - especially with every thrust he added to make her close to her next orgasm.
“No fair,” she hissed. Bakugou thrust into her again, and she moaned, pulling at his hair once more, but it was much lighter than it once had been.
“All’s fucking fair game,” he smirked, feeling Uraraka’s hand on his thigh. He thought she may need to lay back down when her finger suddenly bound into his leg, making him jerk upwards into her. She moaned, biting her lip and smiling down at him. “Fuck!” Bakugou groaned, looking back at her.
“All’s fucking fair game,” she repeated his words. Bakugou bit his lip, thrusting into her again, watching as she circled her hips down onto him again.
“If you weren’t injured, I’d -”
“You’d what?” she replied with a smirk, and between his heart bounding like a drum, and his head screaming, he knew he couldn’t stop himself.
“Fuck it,” Bakugou muttered, pushing his weight onto Uraraka’s and onto her back once more, thrusting in one long and hard motion. It wasn’t until after that he thought of his mistake - his lust getting the best of him. Uraraka’s hand went to his ass, gripping in hard with her nails enough to make him hiss. He looked at her face, lip between teeth and chest heaving for more.
“I’ll tell you if it hurts, just keep going,” she begged, forcing his hips closer. When he moved inside her again, she guided him in with a hard pull on his ass. It was harder than he would have, but she enjoyed it all the same - eyes closed and body calling to his like they were magnets that hated to be separated.
His mind told him to go slow, to make sure it all lasted how he needed it to - but he’d be damned if he didn’t chase the sound of her desperate moans to get his own satisfaction. Her next orgasm came over her quickly, her teeth went into his shoulder to suppress the sound, but it did little to help, other than to spur Bakugou on. Her legs went over his hips, heels at the base of his thigh and urging his ass forward with every move he made.
Intimacy was lost on Bakugou, he never liked how he felt being within it, but Uraraka made it all different somehow. When her hand snaked down his arm from his shoulder blade, her caught her wrist, holding it down onto the bed. And he found himself wanting. Like he’d never wanted something so badly in his life. His pressure on her slim wrist went slack, and his fingers slid into her palm, binding into the gaps of her fingers. Uraraka held on tight, their joined hands going over her head as Bakugou continued to stride within her.
She made sure they kissed every few seconds, whining until she could kiss him again, becoming louder and louder to get him to silence her with one of his bruising kisses. Uraraka was using him like a puppet, but he didn’t care - she was heaven to be inside, her body a wonderful combination of sweat and silk and his body was to blame for half of it.
“Oh god,” Uraraka cried, her free hand back in his hair, body moving against his again. He could feel her hardened nipples against his chest with every movement, and he wanted to put his mouth all over her body again. Taste every inch of her. Uraraka whined, hand on his cheek, nails piercing skin behind his ear and on his jaw. “I’m gonna -”
She didn’t even get to finish her sentence, her release rocking through her in waves that made her hips jerk over and over again until Bakugou was following her. He held tight to her hand, the other was gripping tight into her thigh - unable to bring himself to move as he could his release come and go.
“Fuck,” he panted into her chest, trying hard to let her go, but it was no use, he’d drown in her skin before he’d let her move an inch.
Eventually, he had to - lying beside her as she moved to be on his chest. She was practically asleep by the time he’d shifted into his spot next to her.
“You good?” he asked her.
“Hm?” she replied, “Yeah, yeah. Just tired.”
Bakugou shifted, aiming to leave. “Do you need me to -”
“If you move, I’ll kill you,” she warned, hands tight on his body as she held him close.
“Fucking fine, round face,” he said, letting her rest back onto his chest. He smiled, his own exhaustion following hers.
~*~*~
When he woke up, there was hair in his mouth. He threw his head back, spitting it out with a scowl and wincing when it flopped wetly onto his neck. A heavy weight lay on his side, numbing his arm under the pressure. His eyes struggled to open fully, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw the hazlenut hair he was very much used to.
Uraraka.
Holy fucking shit.
Bakugou groaned and slowly pulled his arms back only to stop dead still when she shifted. He waited, tense and holding his breath until she settled back down, soft snores puffing out onto his arm.
He tried again, and after a very slow escape over the next several minutes, he was free. Slipping from the sheets he staggered into the bathroom, took one look in the mirror at his neck covered in hickies, his hair a fucking mess and cheeks flushed - and barely recognised himself. There was no way his eyes should look that bright, or lips that swollen.
He’d had sex with his partner.  
He splashed cold water on himself, and contemplated drowning himself in the sink. He could do this - it was just a moment of passion right? Happened all the time - or so he’d seen in all his mums shitty romcoms.  
He could still feel her breathe against his face, hear the way she’d whispered his name. Feel her nails down his chest and the soft whimpers of her release echoing in his ear.
How the fuck was he meant to work like this?  They were going to have to… to talk about this.
Holy fucking shit was right.  
~*~*~
Bakugou hated quiet, and even with the sound of his pacing footsteps, it was all too much. He had half a mind to wake Uraraka from her sleep, or possibly just sit in her room to hear the fucker snore. Instead, he waited until the pot of coffee had fully brewed and made himself a mug. The rest of it waited for Uraraka to crawl her ass out of bed. It had been nearly two hours since he left, and she was still sound asleep.
He always knew she was a heavy sleeper, but it was like trying to wake to goddamn dead. He had went through most of her things, trying to entertain himself before he had to leave for work, and no matter how much noise he unintentionally made - she stayed in bed. The light of morning was peeking through her curtains, drawing a veil over most of her apartment and casting a glow on Uraraka that was criminal. Gorgeous was not the right word to describe her.
On his way to the kitchen hours before, he picked up his trail of clothes, putting on some as he walked past Uraraka’s. He was unsure of what the fuck to do with hers - was he supposed to pick them up? They were partners and it had been a habit before, long nights and untidy people tend to amount of a clean up when nights were done. But this was different. A line was crossed. They were more than partners.
Regret was something that was new to Bakugou, but he knew this wasn’t it. He stood in her kitchen and came to the conclusion that this was not something he’d ever regret. As far as the sex went, it was fucking great. It might’ve been the best he’d ever had. Maybe it was because he knew her, understood what her reactions could be and learning all new things about someone that he cared for. He wanted her to feel as good as he did.
Yet, what else would come of this? Was there a relationship there? Was he even ready for something like that? It wasn’t like he had one before to gauge what the fuck this even meant. His personality and overall work ethic was a pretty hard thing to deal with for most people. Uraraka was one of the only people that knew him, and still stuck around after. There was a trust between them, a fit that neither of them expected.
What did she even want? Was this all just heat of the moment?
He was about two seconds from marching into her room and finally dragging her out of bed when his phone chimed.
Shitty Hair: U need to come into work. Boss wants to see u
Bakugou rolled his eyes, gripping tight to his phone as he contemplated his next step. He took the remnants of his coffee and poured it down the sink, washing the mug briefly before putting on the remainder of his clothes. When he fixed his jacket over his shoulders, he stopped and saw into Uraraka’s room. She was curled into her sheets peacefully, and Bakugou grit his teeth.
When Kirishima texted again, Bakugou didn’t have time.
He left her apartment and went straight into work.
They could talk later.
He just wasn’t ready yet.
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sis-tafics · 6 years
Text
Our Little Family - Moving Out
Summary: You and Dean struggle with a game changing decision
Our Little Family Masterlist
Our Little Secret Masterlist
Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader, Eileen
Pairings: Dean x Reader, Sam x Eileen
Word Count: 1087
Warnings:language, angst
A/N:  Thank you so much for reading. Thank you to the people that requested this one <3
THIS IS UNBETA-ed, all mistakes are my own
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You tiptoe out of Evie’s room, her soft snores telling you that she is finally asleep. You’re hoping the twins give you and Dean a few hours of sleep. They’ve both been sick, running a low grade temp and you don’t remember the last time either of you got more than two or three hours of sleep.
Pushing open the door to your room, you’re shocked not to see Dean there. Hell, the bed hasn’t even been touched since you made it this morning. You turn, stepping down the hall, looking for your husband. Not in the kitchen, not in the war room.
As you come into the Library he’s slouching in a chair, facing away from you, a photo album opened on the table and a drink in his hand that he swirls slowly before taking another sip.
You come up behind him, squeezing his shoulder before your hand wanders down to his chest as you lean down to press a kiss to his scruffy cheek, “I thought you’d be asleep.”
He shakes his head slowly, free hand coming up to grip your forearm, “Couldn’t.”
You wrap your other arm around him from behind, running your hand over his warm chest back and forth, “What’s wrong?”
He doesn’t answer right away and you look down at the photos of Dean and Evie, you and the twins, all of you together. Dean swallows hard, tilting his head so it rests against yours, “Evie asked me today if her friends could come over and play because they all went to play at that one girl’s house today, you know? What the fuck am I supposed to say to that? I mean-she’s only in preschool, w-what...” he trails off, taking a sip of the whiskey.
Shit, you’ve thought about it, but them not just being your babies didn’t seem real, not yet.
His head moves, and you turn yours, looking into his red rimmed eyes. He presses his lips against yours, a quick kiss, “I don’t want them to grow up like Sammy and me or live like we did.”
You force a smile, resting your forehead against his, “I know.”
“I want them to have friends and do all that kid stuff. I don’t want them to hunt, I mean, I want them to know how to protect themselves, but I want them to have a life.”
“And how the hell do we tell other kids’ parents that we live in the batcave?” you joke and it gets him to half chuckle.
“Yeah,” he sets his drink down and slides the chair back a little, making enough room, pulling you around to sit on his lap, holding you tight against him, “And like me and you didn’t graduate because of this shit, and I- fuck I don’t want them to live like this.”
“What do you want to do?” you whisper, cupping his cheek, your thumb rubbing over his skin.
He shrugs, “I don’t know, it’s kinda hard to leave somewhere you know is safe.”
“On the flip side, we don’t have a ton of stuff chasing after us anymore. We’ve really only stuck to low level stuff since we had Evie. And since Kasey and Kyle, we barely even hunt, what, maybe once every couple months? When’s the last time we exorcised a demon?”
He half laughs, shaking his head, “I can’t even remember.”
“Let’s face it, we’re retired.”
He chews on his bottom lip, “I never thought that was going to be a thing.”
“Me either,” you rest your head on the crook of his neck.
“Fuck, it’s not like we can get a house though. We’re both supposed to be dead, I don’t think either of us have a social security number fake enough to get a loan on a house.”
“We could always rent, maybe get a real job or something.”
“So were you two planning on talking to us?,” Sam’s voice makes you both jump, looking his way, standing under the archway, leaning against the wall.
You settle back against Dean, “We’re just talkin’ out loud.”
Sam pulls out the chair across from you guys, sitting down, “I was going to tell you guys in the morning, but I found something when I was going through the Men of Letters’ ledgers.”
You raise your eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. Sam grabs one of the leather bound books down the table a little, flipping through the pages until he finds what he is looking for, “Here it says that they had money stashed for their operations, they invested it, payed off people, invested even more and that’s part of what keeps this place running.”
Dean adjusts, “What do you mean?”
Sam takes in a big breath, sliding the book over to you two, “That this money, that was a lot back then, has been sitting in banks, real estate and been reinvested in stocks since the fifties. I think, there is quite a bit of money sitting there, like in the tens of millions a lot.”
You grab the book, glancing over it, “You mean there is enough here that we could move the kids out? All of us?”
Sam nods, “Yeah, and there would be a ton left over. I mean, if our kids are going to be there it should probably look like we have jobs and stuff, but I don’t see any reason why we couldn’t get the kids out of here.”
“What does Eileen think?” Dean asks.
Sam shrugs, “She seems pretty thrilled with it. We were talking about Jake earlier and with her being pregnant again...I have no idea how in the hell you two do it here. And I want all that stuff for them too, you know? Play sports...”
“Be a mathlete,” Dean teases and Sam immediately bitchfaces him, leaving you giggling.
“It’s gonna be weird,” you muse, “the three of us have lived together for over ten years.”
Dean cooks his head, debating, “I guess it has been that long.”
“Well,” Sam reaches in his back pocket, pulling out folded sheets of paper, “that’s also why I found this.”
You open up the sheets, seeing two houses, and Sam starts explaining, “Both of the houses are about ten miles from here, outside of town, and the properties are back to back.”
You press a kiss to Dean’s cheek, “What do you think?”
He catches your lips with his, kissing you deeply. Pulling back, he smiles softly, “I’m wondering why we’re still talkin’ about it.”
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lasagnabomb-blog · 6 years
Text
Belargo the Coin Dragon
"Hey, shopkeep, what can I get for this? Found it on a recent venture in southern Duskain".
Kit faced a small roadside wagon set outside of Lupren in central Duskain. Drawing the short straw, he was sent out to run errands while the rest of the crew set up camp. Usually, they would stay at an inn when this close to town, but after being robbed of your gold and some of your supplies you learn to make do.
“Looks beat up, but the knife is still sharp. I'll give you six gold for it.”
The shopkeep was a stout man, short too. You could almost mistake him for a dwarf if he grew a beard. He stepped back from the counter and put away the knife. Kit looked around at the pines and straightened his coat. Winter was coming and it was coming fast, frost had been on the ground that morning.
“Aye, here you go. Six gold, as promised.”
In the shopkeep's hand. There were six coins, but there was also a tiny silver dragon clutching one of the coins. Kit tried to softly tug the coin away from the dragon, but to no avail as it growled and hissed at his hand.
“The dragon comes with the coin, sir.” The shopkeep gruffly spoke “Little guy never lets go of his coin, so he always goes with. He's traveled to about every shop in the town, and who knows where he was before that. Try and spend ‘im somewhere else so he gets to travel.”
“I… uhh…” Kit held out his hand. The dragon perked up and scampered onto his hand, up his arm, and perched on his shoulder.
“By the way, the lil guy responds to Belargo. Have a nice evening now.”
The shopkeep didn't give time for Kit to respond and closed the window to the cart. Dumbfounded, Kit decided it was best to spend some of the gold and get food for the crew.
After shopping for a while, Kit finally returned to camp with dried goat, dried fruits, and one gold. The camp had been set while he was gone, and his two companions were already sitting by the fire. On the left sat a black kobold named Arua, on the right sat a dwarf named Gurk. Both seemed to be laughing at some joke Arua had just finished, her jokes were known to be a bit raunchy and a favorite of Gurk's.
“Hey, Kit, we found a log for ya to sit on. Find anything good out there?” Gurk's voice rumbled deeply. “I can smell the meat, toss it ‘ere!”
“Fine, calm down Gurk, there's plenty for us tonight.” Kit, pulled out a piece before slinging the sack over to Gurk. “Got some fruits for the road as well.”
There was a moment of silence.
“We have one gold piece left” Kit said “though it uh… it comes with this little guy” Kit proceeded to reach into his jacket, and show off Belargo in the palm of his hand. “Merchant said the dragon comes with the coin, never leaves it either. Figured we can keep the little fella for now at least. His name is Belargo.”
Arua had already approached and convinced the dragon to her hand by the time Kit was done talking. “So, he's sorta like our little mascot now, huh?” Arua chirped. “ Who's a good wittle fella, huh?” as she pet the dragon with her finger.
“We should get to sleep soon. We have to catch up to Silvereye if we're going to claim that bounty.” Kit stated. “We've come close to losing the trail a few times, so we can't let him slip out of Lupren without us knowing.”
Belargo trilled happily as Arua rubbed his belly.
“Well, silver dragons are a sign of good luck.” Gurk said. “Maybe we'll catch Silvereye at the gate tomorrow before he gets the chance to slip!”
“Well, if we are gonna do that, it's best to turn in soon. Goodnight guys.” Kit yawned through the sentence.
The group had a peaceful night and rose early the next morning. After tearing down camp, the went into Lupren to try and spot Silvereye, the infamous murderer. She would leave a silver piece in the left eye of her victims, and was more than rich enough to pay off the law. The bounty was big, it would definitely make up for the money the group lost a while ago.
Kit was leaning in the gate of the town, watching over the street. The sun had barely risen, and the streets were near empty. Kit was having a hard time staying awake before his head flashed with pain and his vision went black.
When Kit came to, his hands were tied behind his back and his mouth was gagged. In a chair across the room sat a very large man with two other brutes standing beside him. One of them had a bloody bandage wrapped around his nose and cotton in his mouth.
“Ah, boys, our guests are finally awake.”
Kit looked around and saw Arua and Gurk both tied up. It looked like Gurk was hurt the most, he must've spotted the thugs before they got him.  
“Now, I have a question fellas.” The chair creaked as the man stood up “Why are you following miss Silvereye, eh? You couldn't be bounty hunters, could ya? I hear plenty in that profession die gruesome deaths.” The man towered over Kit now, blackjack in hand. “Some of ya even go through torture. So why are you followin’ the miss?
Kit spat at the man's boots. Before he had time to make a snide comment his head exploded in pain and his vision went blurry. Blood started dripping down his temple. Before he knew it, he was hauled up by his hair and pinned against the wall.
“Now, I asked you a question. I think it's best for you to answer.” His breath smelled like beer and onions.
Kit remained silent
“Fine, I see you won't talk If I hurt you. How about the little miss there? Skellen, grab her. Tie her up to the chair.”
Arua was hauled over to the chair. Her fighting back was pointless, she was much smaller than any of the thugs. After she was tied up, the leader let go of Kit and walked over to the chair.
Kit started struggling against the rope, trying to get free to save his friends.
“So, what's a little miss like you doing out here? It's easy to get hurt y'know.” The leader slammed his blackjack into her stomach. “I think it's best to admit to what you did, we might kill ya faster then.”The leader put a hand on Arua's shoulder and cocked his other hand back.”It's a shame sweetheart, you're pretty for a fucking lizard.” A small flash of fire hit the hand on Arua's shoulder. The leader roared in pain and reeled back, clutching the burn on his hand.
“FUCKING WITCH! SKELLEN, KILL HER!”
Kit had worked his bonds to the point he could slip a hand out. Skellen was standing over Arua, confused by the small dragon on her shoulder. Belargo had clambered his way up to Arua's shoulder from one of her jacket pockets. That gave Kit just enough time to tackle Skellen while he was confused. The third thug stumbled back, surprised by what was happening.
Kit took the knife from Skellen's sheath and cut his throat, then sprung back up to assess the situation.
Gurk was still tightly bound and Arua's chair had been knocked over, she was struggling with the rope. Stefan had cast aside his blackjack in favor of a shortsword. The third goon had drawn his sword as well and was getting ready to charge.
“So, you really do want to be tortured to death, huh?” The leader growled “I'm gonna put your head on a fucking pike in the middle of town!”
The leader rushed forward and thrusted his blade at Kit's chest. Kit turned aside and kicked at the ankles, causing the man to tumble. Before he could do anything else, Kit was pommeled by the other goon. Luckily, he missed Kit's head and bashed his shoulder instead, causing Kit to fall over in pain. The thug but his boot on Kit's back, pinning him to the floor.
The thug raised his blade, and readied to stab Kit through the neck.
Kit heard a loud thud and a crash, followed by a string of dwarven swears and a fist meeting flesh repeatedly. The foot was no longer on his back and Gurk was free of his bonds,  beating down the goon. Arua had also escaped hers, but hadn't gotten up yet.
“You think… that I'm just gonna go down that fucking easy?” The leader stood back up, and whirled his blade.
“I mean, I was sort've hoping so. I've had a rough week, and your fat ass made it worse. Sorry I have to take it out on you.” Kit threw the knife at the leader's head. It would've hit if the leader's reaction was any slower, he deflected the knife with his sword.
The leader charged, whirling his blade around and making it difficult to get much closer to him. Kit saw an opening, but the leader read his movements and slashed as his side while sidestepping away. The blade caught Kit on his upper arm, leaving a deep wound. Kit cried out in pain and clutched his arm, making a feeble attempt to staunch the flow. Having lost his balance from the blow, Kit crashed into the wall and fell back over.
“My name is Sellus Drihart, and I’ve never lost a fucking fight. I’m not gonna lose to some cut-rate bounty hunter.”
Sellus swung his sword at Kit’s head. Arua cried out, her lifelong friend was about to meet his demise and there was nothing she could to. She couldn’t make it in time. The sound of a blade cutting flesh and cracking bone echoed through the room. Arua screamed, and found the knife on the floor. Kit wasn’t dying in vain.
“... your blade isn’t as sharp as you think, Sellus… don’t you know it’s important to keep it sharpened after every fight?”
Kit sat there, blood pouring out of his right arm and his left hand, sword embedded in his palm. He seemed to barely be conscious. Sellus stood there, shocked. He then yanked the blade and readied for another swing.
Sellus had no time to swing though, Arua had already closed the distance and slashed his achilles tendon with the dropped knife. Sellus crumpled to the ground, unable to stand back up. Arua made quick work of Sellus, repeatedly stabbing him anywhere she could. After it was all said and done, Arua fell to her knees out of pure exhaustion. Kit had fallen unconscious, and Gurk had just finished off the last thug, with a few less teeth than before.
Silence rang through the room.
Gurk finally spoke. “ I guess silver dragons aren’t much luck after all…”
Both of them stared at Kit, he was basically their leader and what brought them together. Neither of them knew how to patch wounds like he had; especially his hand which was almost dangling off from the rest.
Belargo skittered over to Kit, and started lapping up the blood. Before Arua or Gurk could stop the dragon, the blood began turning silver in color, running up into his wounds. The wounds started shimmering, and then began closing. Scar tissue grew rapidly and stopped Kit’s bleeding. Belargo’s horns rapidly shrank in size until they were little nubs on his head, and then the dragon fell asleep.
Hours later, Kit woke up in an unfamiliar room. Arua and Gurk sat by his bedside. After a flurry of questions which were mainly answered with “I’m alive”, “I feel like shit”, and “I need water.”; Arua screamed something about Kit’s eyes. Kit didn’t really understand, his head started ringing. Stumbling over to the mirror, Kit noticed a few things immediately. His wounds were covered in a very rough scar tissue, it almost looked scaled. Each of those scars burned like fire when touched. Lastly, his eyes had taken a sterling silver color and resembled those of a dragon.
“Guys, What the fuck happened to me? Where are we?”
Gurk calmly explained that they were still in Lupren, in the Blitzed Imp Tavern. Then told Kit about Belargo and what happened after Kit had passed out.
“Little fella still hasn’t woken up.” Gurk explained “Fixed ya up and hasn’t moved a muscle since.”
Kit stumbled over to where Gurk and Arua had made a makeshift bed out of rags and a spare pillow. Belargo was nestled beneath the rags, with only his head sticking out.
Slowly, the dragon’s eyes opened. Kit’s eyes almost exactly matched Belargo’s. The two had been bonded by dragon magic in the attempt to save Kit. Nobody knew what this meant for them, but they were soon to find out. This was only the beginning of an adventure, the likes of which hadn’t been seen in centuries.
-END OF PART 1-
This was inspired by a writing prompt that was thrown my way! It had reached Tumblr fame before, but I figured I'd give it a shot too. Thank you of you've taken the time to read this, I'd love to know what you think! Have a good one!
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artcanary · 6 years
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1-50
oh my god dude 
im gonna put this under a cut bc this is a lot. this is a ride, have fun i guess
1. Your first OC ever?god. its got to be Super Kitty. when i was like … an incredibly small child I used to draw comic strips about this feline caped crusader, who was friends with everyone in the city, and the comics always involved him stopping an evil banana man from stealing money from the local bank. He was paid with donuts for his service to the city. i still remember how to draw him. 
2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?i’d get arrested if I didn’t answer this with Bronze, probably… but really, they’re very important to me
3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?man, i cant remember! i really dont think i have… P:
4. A character you rarely talk about?there’s loads of characters ive never even posted a single picture of on tumblr, i wouldnt even know where to start asdf
5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? bronze is the easy answer, but… i guess that could also go to Servant or Westrin. Servant has a comic project in the works that basically stars him, sort of a series of one-shots about the things he’s experienced, i feel like that would be a good thing to take off and run with. Westrin’s just fun as hell, i love the guy.
6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?real talk now… there’s at least five different characters that i refer to as a whole as “bronze-tangential”, who started out as, “what would bronze be like if they were in this world?” and then becoming their own thing within said world because i just get stupid attached 
its an epidemic
7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?nearly all of them, actually. that’s the main reason i make characters, after all! too many to really go into specifics here, again P: 
8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!not often, but i think Bronze and Westrin are the most common ones. unless playing a character in dnd, or running an npc in dnd counts… then a whole lot more hahaha
9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?it depends on the circumstances. i don’t really like the idea, though. 
10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Westrin’s old getup is a pain to draw, and there was one other design i did that I cant find anywhere… whichever way, i dont often tend to draw super complicated things often 
a couple fakemon ive designed though… heheh those can get pretty finicky
11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? hmmmmmmmm my immediate thought was Eric Silverdale from a comic i was working on a few years ago. hes a darling, i want him to be my friend irl
12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lothow could you do this to me i love each and every one of all my friends ocs GOD the first one who comes to mind is @d20-official‘s Smith, whos Bronze’s friend… everyone in that DND party actually
13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? Rated on a scale from “harmless” to “honestly somewhat frightening”: -Baromet (charming and quite friendly but definitely a kleptomaniac),-Westrin (demigod of bards and travelers), -XEN09 (a nonsense hacker), -Conny (needlessly contrarian and dumb as HELL), -Enza Colie (long fucking story but hes a good-for-nothing), -Hemlocke (mad scientist, chaotic evil), -Iris (AI and hacker, VERY bad), -The Terminus (glitch-in-the-matrix demon, chaotic evil), -and Sydd (the Queen of the Faeries, hopefully the danger there needs no explaining :’D)
14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory Mmm… there’s a few of them, most obviously Lent (whose background I did a short comic about). Basically his entire town got eaten by ghosts and turned into zombies, he only barely survived with a sliver of his soul left. 
15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?yes, i often discuss storylines and such with friends
16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? Probably Bronze’s dad! I don’t talk about him much, but his name’s Devon Reed, and he was a biotech developer specialising in android design. 
I often describe him as being something of a reverse Arthur Weasley - a very fatherly scientist fascinated to the moon and back with the concept of magic. 
17. Any OC OTPs? having trouble thinking of a lot of them right now, but there’s Eric + Lent & Naiadine + Tailias from Emerald Sigil, Avken + Baromet from my space campaign world, Sydd + Wyvv from my unnamed campaign world, and I’ve been considering Westrin + Servant as an interesting dynamic in Servant’s story
18. Any OC crackships? My character Bismuth and @autistictimeknight​‘s oc Eros. Theyre so fucking in love, I love it. Its been awhile but I do still think about them sometimes.
As I recall, Eros is an empath, she can read other people’s emotions. But Bismuth is a robot, and Eros can’t read her. Because of this Eros can let go of her fear of unintentionally manipulating the emotions of her date, which would hold her back from most other relationships. 
19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Hey, meet Bronze! I definitely do not talk about them every five minutes, why would you say that. 
Bronze was with me through two of the hardest years of my life so far, and being a DND character they grew with me, both as a fighter and as a person. They were non-binary before I started using those pronouns, they were the first character or person or anything who I fought someone about using the right pronouns for, they make a great icebreaker for if I want to see how someone reacts to non-binary pronouns … 
One funny anecdote about Bronze is that when I first made them, their “gimmick” was that they would sometimes glitch out and mess up their speech, mostly because I wanted an excuse not to engage in the roleplaying (which I was very bad at). The interesting thing is that as I got better at interacting with the group, we both grew out of needing it very quickly. 
I’m very proud of Bronze. 
20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?Westrin is a bard! His singing voice sounds like Bill Wurtz and these are his theme songs.
21. Your most artistic OCProbably Westrin again, he writes a lot of songs… and Hallux is a game designer?
22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? I honestly dont know… no-one talks to me about them, haha! 
people use all manner of pronouns for bronze, though. 
23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?I’m gonna go with Enza for this one. Enza Colie was originally written entirely because I wanted an antagonist for a short starring his sister, Jane Colie. But the more I fleshed out his reasonings for acting how he did and explored his character, the more I realised he’d make an even more interesting character if allowed to have a redemption arc, too. 
I just want to state for the record that I was very reluctant to the idea, and he basically dragged his way out of the villain pit entirely of his own accord. I am dubiously proud of him, and also a bit scared. 
24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?Probably either Eric (Big Man, Best Friend), Crocus (Mother figure), Reed (Father Figure), Westrin (hed just make a good friend u kno??), or Bismuth (she makes good conversation!)
25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)probably the homestuck fan-troll Hallux, but that’s mostly because they were based on a troll-sona I made awhile ago. They’re a hope/prospit game designer who is small and full of rage and love
oh, and there’s dave! dave’s a superhero speedster, existing in a modern-day superhero version of seattle. theyre idiot, just like me,
26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? this is an interesting one… i don’t think ive ever had something Bad in a design ive done called to my attention by someone, but I did create my character Servant at around the same time I was first really expanding the diversity of my casts. (since i don’t talk about him often, a little context: he’s a magic spirit creature bound to human form to serve the royal family of the land and follow their orders.) 
somehow, younger-and-more-stupid me managed to have the revelation that making this “eternal slave” character literally anything other than a white man, especially as a white author, would be Pretty Not Good. im … thats really, really not something i should pat myself on the back for, but i do consider it one of the biggest bullets dodged in my artistic career so far that i realised that not all representation is good representation so quickly, before i could make that incredibly, incurably stupid mistake. 
after that, trying to make sure my characters and their presentations don’t harm anyone pretty much has become a paranoia. i don’t seem to have stepped on any toes yet, but when it inevitably happens, please let me know - i didnt know, and i want to fix it! 
27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I can think of, actually! I don’t really do that often. 
28. Your most dangerous OC? god damn it i have no idea!!! is it the terminus? glitch in the matrix god of chaos motherfucker?is it sarle? terrifying calculating scientist with the power of the soul at her fingertips ??? is it ares??? is it athena????? is it petra?????? the gatekeeper???? 
… actually, the gatekeeper might be it, if “dangerous” just refers to “the amount of raw power it can wield”. the Gatekeeper is a titanic entity that exists in interdimensional multiverse space, and its implied to have the ability to create and destroy entire universe bubbles at will. for what cosmic purpose, no-one knows. 
at a more personal scale, though, literally all of the aforementioned characters are pretty bad to run into too. 
29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?god. Mina or Tawn. Tawn is the Indiana Jonesy type and probably dumb enough, but also competent enough not to get into too much trouble there. Mina would probably drag her friends along. 
30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? XEN09. No-one knows, because no-one knows xir personal identity. Xe absolutely does, though. It’s less of a secret if you know xir in person, but good luck finding out about it otherwise. 
31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)dave just reblogs memes all the time tbh. they like to keep tabs on the ridiculous superhero news going on, and they show human jokes and cat videos to their alien gf. they dont really post or add to posts, but they talk in tags a lot. 
32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? i want to say tawn because i literally just realised ive been imagining their voice as sounding like luigi this entire fucking time and i never realised until this exact instant
33. Your shyest OC?probably baromet. they prefer to keep to themself in their hideout, with their collection of shiny things. they don’t really enjoy trying to communicate much, mostly because they expect to get yelled at. 
34. Do you have any twin characters?Yes! At least two sets; 
- Crocus and Sarle. (x) (x) They don’t exactly have a very well-developed relationship, but they are both quite important to the plot of my campaign world, and they are both very interesting. Crocus is a motherly figure who just exudes friendliness, while Sarle is .. very much not that, a researcher studying very gruesome things and pushing the boundaries of reality. 
- Jane and Enza Colie. I haven’t talked a whole lot about either of them here, but I’d rather leave their story to do the talking whenever I get around to it. Essentially, the both of them were intended to do the dirty work for their crime boss family, but Jane ditched to study medicine. Most of the conflict between the two of them comes out of Enza not understanding why she made the choice she did, and coming to understand how he’s been manipulated. 
35. Any sibling characters? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, I should … I should really work on that. 
I can talk about Westrin, though. Westrin (a demigod of many things, but namely bards, travel, travelers, and people who are lost) often becomes close friends with mortals, sometimes practically adopting them. These people who consider him family, and people who have received his blessing, are able to use his surname, Brilanta, as their own if they choose. So I guess all of the Brilantas are siblings, at least in spirit. 
Oh, and XEN09 has like, seven siblings. Xe is the second-oldest, and least remarkable. 
36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? I already talked about Eros and Bismuth up there a ways in question 18, but I’ll talk about another relationship here. @autistictimeknight​‘s character, Nova the Alchemist, is mentor and adopted parental figure to my character Munna. Munna … Munna isn’t a very good apprentice. She tries very hard. 
37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human That’s most of them, I’m not quite sure what to say here. Bronze is an android? Bronze again? Westrin? All the aliens ?? 
38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? man. uh. westrin or jean. or perhaps valencia. 
39. Introduce any character you want ??? uhhhHHHhhHHH Lord Brillium is the reigning deity of the Cloud Kingdoms in the other campaign setting I’m working on. They represent light and the quest for knowledge, and spend most of their days in the Cathedral Observatory watching the stars. 
40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!one time bronze flew a hover-bike through the stained glass window in a cathedral blaring all star by smash mouth on their iguana
also one time bronze rickrolled a rakshasa demon and then pulled updog on it like, two minutes later
another time bronze scared off an entire army by pretending to be an automated security system 
41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)ive got a whole little folder on here from all you blessed people !!!! right now ive got a drawing quinn did of one o fmy characters as my lockscreen
but i think the one i’ll really never ever get over is this piece of Jane, by @rabendraws​ / @owoltron​: 
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(i bet you thought i forgot about this, dude. dude. think again.) 
42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? this is kind of a weird question, m, I feel like Bismuth would find learning about the mythos utterly fascinating, as would Tawn. 
43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confesshaha. uh. i might. 
aside from the entire “bronze-tangential characters” thing i mentioned awhile back, I tend to really like designing characters with hair color lighter than their skin color. it just looks so cool man. i love drawing freckles but dont put them on enough characters. i like really curly hair, but also really long and flowy hair. i like drawing triangular body types, and pointy/prominent noses. 
44. Something you like about your OCs in generaluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is a really vague question. m. m. 
45. A character you no longer use?there’s old versions of characters, but a lot of my older ones have been somehow repurposed. I guess there’s Turien, my first-ever DND character, who’s just kind of sitting dead now. Haven’t really done anything with him other than a pretty recent tangential character. 
46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?Not that I can think of.
47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? Im certain it’s happened, but I can’t remember any specific instances. 
48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pureSpring. spring knows nothing of th dangers of the world who is letting them into fights someon eneeds to stop this
(spring roll, hehe.) 
49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memesim not sure what this question is asking since many of my ocs actively enjoy memes including but not limited to westrin, dave, bronze, xen09, iris, and doctor archersen
50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wanti think. i think im going to pass on this one. i gave you the good old oc talk. your damn turn, yall: 
if you have any questions about any of these guys feel free to shoot one at me!
thats all from me im tired and its one am. techskylander you absolute madman 
12 notes · View notes
just-jordie-things · 7 years
Text
Flirt - Theo Raeken
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warnings: swearing, mentions of sexual activities, lotso alcohol so underaged drinking, very belated request word count: 4535 (THATS WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT I WROTE IT IN 1 DAY) requested by anon! again sorry the request took me forever to get to ya, but i didn’t forget! although I did change some things around... hope you still like it tho
“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?”
 You turned from where you stood on the steps of the school, and rose an eyebrow at Theo Raeken.  He winked, bounding up the stairs towards you.  “And how are you this mornings, darling flower?” You rolled your eyes, but let him walk next to you anyways.
 “I am absolutely wonderful now that I have Mr Raeken escorting me into the building.  And you?”
 “Well I do find myself fancying walking with you, flower” He replied.  You laughed to yourself as you headed into the school.
 “Nice chatting as always Raeken.  See you later”
 “Adios Chica”
 He watched you walk off to your locker, and he paused in the hall.  You met up with your friend, Kira, as you always did.  Theo let out a sigh.  Sure, he flirted around, it was like his trademark.  But he didn’t flirt to anyone the way he flirted with you.  He pursued you.  You… the girl unaware of what his past truly was.  Sure, he’d been told by Scott that you knew about the more… supernatural side of Beacon Hills.  Basically that you knew about the McCall pack, but wasn’t involved.  He persisted on knowing more about you, but Scott only cared to share your knowledge on the werewolves banshees and kitsunes.
 But he was aware that you had no clue of his own involvement, including his chimera status.
 You were at your locker with Kira, the girl pushing you into answering her daily questions about your encounters with Theo.
 “Did he use a pickup line? He always does, what’d he say today? Was it cute? Do you think you like him?”
 “Hey hey hey” You said with a chuckle.  “Kye, I love you, but this is getting out of hand.  Theo’s… popular.  You think he’s gonna go for some random girl like me? No.  He’s not” Kira made a pout.
 “I don’t know girly… he seems like he’s really into you” You crinkled your nose and shook your head.
 “No… no I doubt he’s like that”
“Doubt who’s like what?” Lydia asked, having popped out of nowhere.  Already using the mirror on your locker door to fix up her lip gloss.
 “y/n don’t think that Theo likes her” Kira said.  Lydia rolled her eyes.
 “Oh please, I haven’t ever seen a boy salivate that much.  And I’ve taken Stiles to get curly fries” She said with a short laugh.  “Seriously, just go for it.  What’ve you got to lose?”
 “My dignity?” You said sarcastically.  Kira rolled her eyes with Lydia this time.
 “You’re not even gonna take a real chance?” She asked.  You pursed your lips.
 “Maybe if Lyds gets me tipsy enough at her next party” You said.  Your friends sighed.
 “Come on y/n, that’s totally not fair” Kira said in a defeated tone.  “You flirt with hi,, and he flirts back.  You’re both into each other, why not just… you know” Kira began wildly clapping her hands.  Lydia’s brows furrowed.
 “Hatefuck each other?” The banshee guessed.  You slapped a hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter.
 “What!?” Kira asked with wide eyes.  Oh the innocence of this fox would never not be funny to you.  “No- no! I meant- I meant get together!” Kira began to clap again, this time sending you and Lydia into pity giggles and head shakes.
 “No sweetie… no that’s not what that means.  Like at all” Lydia said, wrapping an arm around the kitsune’s shoulders as the three of you began to walk to class.
“Oh my God…. I do that when I’m talking to people all the time…” Kira mumbled, making you both laugh again as you went into class. 
You ended up unable to focus during the entire class.  You were too busy wondering about what the girls had told you about Theo.  Sure, you were kinda interested.  A cute boy who flirts with you? Who wouldn’t be interested.  But you were certain that his intentions weren’t to have a romantic evening at dinner and a movie.  No, Theo Raeken seemed more like a one night stand kind of guy.  
Theo sighed as he sat down at his picnic table outside for lunch.  Yeah, for a ‘popular’ and big flirt, he ate lunch alone.  After his encounters with the McCall pack, Stiles had a thing for glaring him down in the cafeteria.  Or the hallways.  Or class.  And once he accidentally walked into the bathroom while Stiles was already there.  Usually he didn’t mind the alone time, in fact he quite enjoyed it.  He was able to get back into the swing of things.  Focus on classes, raising grades.  As well as keeping his cool and forgetting about the past.
 But he knew you were in the lunchroom.  Laughing and smiling with your friends… who happened to be the McCall pack but Theo would risk getting the evil eye from Stiles to listen in on your giggling.  But then he’d also have to go through the hassle of finding a table and alas, he had no friends.  Hayden was the closest thing to a friend he had… but last he heard she was part of Scott’s pack now and likely wanted nothing to do with him.
 You wandered outside, needing a break from your group of friends.  Well, needing a break from Stiles and Lydia’s clinginess, from Kira’s continued questions, Scott’s check up on your grades, Malia’s… well Malia didn’t do anything you loved Malia, but you needed a break from everyone really.  No one was out there, a nice empty space of picnic tables.  You took in a deep breath and looked over the area…. Your eyes landed on Theo.  Your brows furrowed at the sight.  Theo Raeken ate lunch alone?
 “Hey Raeken” You called, walking down the steps and into the courtyard.  He looked up from a book.  A book.  You never pegged him for a reading guy. 
“Hey l/n” He replied.  You stood in front of his table, next to the bench across from him.  “Well sit down if you like, but if you’re ditching this early I’d get your ass moving” He said with a light hearted chuckle.  You shook your head and sat across from him, setting your bag next to you.
“I don’t ditch.  I don’t want to get in trouble” Theo laughed.  “What? Is there something funny about my wanting to have a good education?” You asked.  You shook his head, pursing his lips and putting his hands up in surrender.
“Oh no, I just don’t expect any less from you lovely y/n” He said.  You raised an eyebrow.
“And what does that mean?” You asked, folding your hands together and setting them on a table.
“It means, toots” He started.  “You wouldn’t ditch, if I gave you all the money in my wallet, right now” You thought about it for a moment.
“Hm” He rolled his eyes.
“Are you seriously contemplating it? Please, I see you getting the bite from Scott before leaving school grounds before the final bell has rung”
You sat in silence for a full minute before Theo realized his mistake.
His eyes widened and jaw slacked, unsure of how to cover for such a colossal screw up.
Before he could even come up with something to say, you were already responding.
“Well at least Scott’s an alpha.  I don’t suppose I’d like to be a part of your sorry ass ‘half animal’ chimera pack” You said with a scoff and a smirk.  Again, leaving him with wide eyes and a hung open mouth.  “Shut the trap dear, you’ll catch flies” You winked, and slung your bag over your shoulder.
“You.. you knew?”
“I gotta go hun” You said, standing from your seat and making your way towards the school again.  “Don’t wanna be late for class” Theo shook his head, left a stunned mute in his lonesome.
 The next morning you were getting out of Stiles’ jeep, and tiredly walking yourself up the steps of the school.  Nothing had happened to make you this tired, it was just one of those mornings.  The kind where you were jeans converse and a sweatshirt, a messy bun on your head and a coffee in your hand.  Well, Stiles did spend the whole drive to the school telling you terrible things about Theo, so that wore you out.  At least all his arguments were things you already knew.  
‘I mean, look at the gel in his hair’
‘He flirts around a lot’
‘He eats lunch all by himself’
‘There’s a reason he’s got no friends’
To be honest, everything he used just made you feel bad for Theo.  He really didn’t have friends… at least not ones you ever saw him hang out with.  You frowned at the thought, and looked to Stiles as you walked towards the school together.
“Did he have friends ever? Like in elementary school or anything?” You asked.  Having been new to Beacon Hills in the eighth grade, you hadn’t known Theo until he had supposedly moved back in the beginning of your senior year.
“Yeah.  Me and Scott” Stiles said, tugging on the strings of his jacket.
“Scott and I” You corrected with a mumble.  But didn’t push the subject any more.  He’d only argue against you.  If you even breathed Theo’s name, you were sure Stiles would pop up with five more text based facts about why you should steer clear of him.  Most of them relating back to ‘because he’s evil’.
Was he? Would you even know? All that Kira had oh so secretly filled you in on was that Theo was a chimera, and for a short while he had a pack of chimeras that consisted of Tracy, Josh, Hayden and Corey.  Hayden and Corey being the only friends you had to talk to about whether or not Theo was a villain.
Josh and Tracy had mysteriously disappeared a few months back… maybe you should be doing some more investigating.
“Kira!” You called, ditching Stiles and rushing over to your petite asian friend.
“Kay bye” Stiles muttered, trying to hide his embarrassment of you leaving him alone by searching for Scott or Lydia.
“Hi” Kira said with a chipper tone but a confused look.  “What…? Did you forget to do the Econ homework cause I did too and I was gonna ask Lydia for help on it-”
“Tell me about Theo” You said bluntly.  Her eyes widened to a round almond shape.
“Um-”
“Tell me Kira, I need to know”
Meanwhile across the hall, Theo perked up at the sound of his name being spoken in a recognizably soft tone.  He looked over from where he was putting his coat in his locker, to where you stood just down the hall with Kira.  Just far enough that he could listen in without getting caught.  His ear perked as he stuffed his bag with books to look busy.
“... I mean Scott wasn’t dead dead, well, he was, but only for a few minutes!” Kira said quickly.  Theo could hear the quickening in your heartbeat.
You were scared.
He shook his head, furrowing his brows as he continued to listen to the conversation against his better judgement.
“He… he k- he killed Scott?” You stuttered over your words, speaking quietly.  Theo looked down the hall now, meeting Kira’s eyes.  Your back was turned to him.
“Yes” She answered, maintaining eye contact with him.
He wanted to glare, he wanted to slam his locker, maybe storm down there and deliver a nice ‘fuck you’ to the thunder kitsune.
But he couldn’t.  He could only stare longingly at the back of your head.  Kira looked at him again, giving a slight frown.  He wondered if she meant it as an apology, or just for pity.  The bell rang, and he heard you and Kira exchange goodbyes.
When you turned around, you began walking down the hallway quickly.  He could see you tightly clutching a binder to your chest.  He turned slightly, making himself more visible to you, and he contemplated saying something, but he didn’t know how, or what to even say 
You saw him before he could finish his thought.  Your eyes widened, and you stepped further away from him, walking closer to the opposite wall of lockers.
“y/n-”
“Don’t” You said in the most serious tone you could muster.  “Don’t talk to me”
 He opened his mouth, but closed it instantly.  He could see the tears in your eyes, and didn’t want to push you anymore than he already had.
“You- how- how dare you” You said with a snarl.  “How dare you”
I’m sorry, he wanted to say.  I’m sorry for everything, I should’ve told you, I should’ve been honest about everything.
“You, Theo Raeken” You looked away for a moment, then shook your head as you stared back at him.  “You’re a terrible person” You told him, voice cracking.  You opened your lips to say something else, but couldn’t bring yourself to do it.  So you settled for shaking your head again.   
You walked off, and Theo was left in an empty hallway. 
“What an asshole! What a total dickwad!” You exclaimed, swigging back a drink of your beer as you sat on Lydia’s sofa.  She sighed, looking over at Kira and Malia, who were curled up on the recliner.  Malia had fallen asleep within the first two hours of the girls night sleepover.
“Look, y/n can I tell you something? Like, some real and solid advice?” You shrugged and nodded, taking a few more drinks.  “I think… I think he’s better now.  Since he’s come back”
“What!?” You exclaimed, and Kira shot you a look, gesturing to her sleeping girlfriend.  “Sorry I just- Lyd” You said her name in a breathy laugh.  “He, he killed Scott, Kira told me everything he did, he hit you too and nearly killed you in EIchen how can-”
“Yes, he did horrid, and awful things” Lydia said.  “But he was literally dragged down, to the pits of hell, for months… I think he’s learned a lesson or two”
 You let this sink in whilst chugging down the rest of your beer.
“Anyways, I invited him to my party tomorrow night.  Well, I invited everyone, but still, he said he’d be there so” Lydia shrugged, pretending to care about her fingernails but she was watching you out of the corner of her eye.  “Maybe you can talk to him, or something”
Maybe you could.
 Theo closed the front door behind him, almost being shoved against it by the mass amount of dancing bodies in Lydia Martin’s living room.  He swiftly moved past them and made his way to the kitchen.  Then double checked his phone.
Lydia Martin: come to the kitchen when you get here Lydia Martin: i’ll put wolfsbane in your drink.  You’ll need it
He ended up pushing a few people aside and promptly apologizing.  When he reached the Martin kitchen, he saw Lydia there, pouring and mixing drinks, handing out beer bottles and red solo cups.  At the dining table some girl was dancing on it and a ring of guys took shots of toxic liquid god knows what 
“Ah Mr Raeken!” Lydia grinned, waving him over.  “Hey, Mal take my spot” She said, Malia instantly trading places with her.  Lydia grabbed two plastic cups and met Theo at the kitchen entrance.  “Come with me” She told him, and he blindly followed her to the backyard.  He was surprised no one was back here.
“Are you gonna kill me-”
“Nope” Lydia handed up one of the cups, and when he took it she drank from hers.
“Okay… and why’d you want me to come tonight? I mean thanks but-”
“Cut the bullshit you only came cause you knew y/n would be here” Theo snapped his mouth shut and Lydia giggled.  “I knew it! Cute” She took another drink, slightly swaying to the loud music inside, muffled out here.
“Yeah.. yeah I did but she doesn’t want to talk to me anyways so..” Theo shrugged, taking a whiff of his drink.  When he smelled the wolfsbane he took a small sip, and was surprised by the old yet familiar sensation of liquor running down his throat.
“Anywho.  She’s dancing with Kira.  You should go ask to talk to her” Theo snorted at that.
“Yeah, thanks sweets, but she’d rather shove a stick up my ass first” Lydia crinkled her nose and cringed at the image in her head, but shook her head to get rid of it.
“Okay… but you’re wrong” Lydia said, using her ‘Sweetie I’m smarter than you so I know what I’m talking about’ voice.
“I’m wrong?” Theo asked, drinking more of whatever it was Lydia had made for him.
“Yeah.  You are.  You don’t think that I explained to her the whole story?” Lydia asked, her tone becoming softer.  Theo looked at her, then looked down at the cup in his hands.  “Because I did” She said, maneuvering her head so their eyes would meet, hoping he’d see her sincerity.  “Listen to my heartbeat am I lying? y/n likes you, and I can see it, and I know it, you think I’d let her just be pissed at you over something she didn’t yet understand-”
“Okay but why do you care? Why are you helping me? Won’t your boyfriend be mad?” Theo asked.  Lydia smiled, and shook her head 
“I’m not here for Stiles.  I’m here for y/n” She said kindly.  “Just go find her” She added, then headed inside.
Theo thought about just standing in the backyard, drinking his liquor and contemplating the strange shit that was his life.  But after a second he knew he couldn’t be this close without trying to talk to you.
He went back inside, and pushed his way through the crowd in the living room.
When he saw you, dancing too cutely for your outfit of choice, his heart melted.
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You were wearing a black cocktail dress that fell to your upper thigh, enough that when you jumped as you danced, he could just barely see the smooth curve of your ass.  You spun around, revealing a beer bottle in one hand, the other happily raised as you danced to the EDM music playing.  You were laughing and smiling, eyes closed in euphoria, and if Theo had his scents right, drunkenness.  He frowned slightly, instantly worried for your own well being.
Your eyes fluttered open, instantly landing on him.  The only non moving thing in the crowd, about four feet away.  He was surprised when you didn’t scowl, or frown.  The smallest of smiles still stayed present on your lips.  After a moment, you lowered your arms and looked down at your feet, silently giving yourself reassurance.
Then you walked up to him, somehow managing to balance in your high heels.  He watched you, pretty much ready to hold his arms out to catch you if you were to fall.
“Hey” You managed quietly.  Theo looked dramatically to the left, then the right, before pointing to himself
“Me?” You nodded.  “You’re talking to me?” You giggled this time, nodding, and holding your bottle to your chest.
“Yes, I’m talking to you Theo” You said.  He smiled at you and bowed his head slightly.
“Well then the pleasure is all mine” You laughed again, and nodded your head off to the side 
“You want to go outside?” You asked him, and he nodded.
“Sure” WIth that he followed behind you to the back door, just like he had for Lydia.  When he passed her and Malia in the kitchen handing out drinks like before, the strawberry blonde gave him a hidden thumbs up.  Though he didn’t know if she meant it for him or you.  He opened the door and held it as you walked out, giving him another small smile in thanks.  He closed it when you stepped outside.
He admired you for a moment as you stared up at the inky blue night sky, counting the stars in your head, as many as you could.  After a while he knew he had to say something.
“Look, I figure you wanna talk about the other day, so um, if you have any questions I don’t mind-” You turned around, your beautiful eyes meeting his and Theo found himself trailing off.
“What?” You asked, your innocent voice quiet and soft.  You set your bottle down on the concrete patio with a little clink.  “Why’d you stop?” You asked, walking back to him.
“Sorry I just..” He stopped again, and you raised your eyebrows in impatience.  “I don’t know.  Waiting for you to ask questions I guess” You nodded, pursing your lips as you thought.
“Are you evil?” He snorted a laugh.
“I’d like to think not, but don’t ask Stiles that” he said, making you chuckle as well.  “Is that all you got? Not exactly what I was expecting”
 “Did… did you kill Tracy and Josh?” You asked.  His mouth opened, then closed.  Then opened again…. Then closed again.  You got your answer that way.  “Why?”
 “I can’t… I can’t answer that in a way that will ever make sense to you” He said honestly.  “Or me, quite frankly” You nodded, looking down at the ground and rubbing your shoe on the concrete.  “Look, I did a lot of terrible things, but I want- I need you to know that i regret every moment of it, every single one of them.  And if I could take it back I would in an instant” You looked up, eyes meeting his again.
 “I’ll take your word for it” You said softly.  He half smiled at you.
 “Any other questions?” You thought for a few seconds, taking off your shoes in the meantime and wandering into the grass in your bare and aching feet.
 “Come up with me” You said, pointing off to a tree.  Theo looked up, seeing a tree house in it.
“I never thought Lydia would be a treehouse building kind of girl” Theo chuckled, and you did too, shaking your head.
“No, it’s old.  She’s had it here longer than I’ve been around” You told him, climbing up the trunk to where the ladder was.
“How long have you been around? Did you go to Beacon Hills Elementary? Cause I think I would’ve remembered you” You were thankful he was on the ladder below you, so he wouldn’t see your blush.
“No, I didn’t move here till the middle of eighth grade” You told him, climbing into the box that was once a prized treehouse.  Theo crawled in shortly after you.  “But I didn’t meet Scott and Stiles and Allison till freshmen year, I was friends with just Lydia till then” You said.
“Allison?” You looked over at him, your features falling.
“Yeah.. yeah we uh… we lost her” You said solemnly.  Theo nodded, barely recognizing the name from something Scott had briefly mentioned a while back.  “But she’s in a much better place now, so” You nodded off, looking desperately for a conversation changer.
“So what’s your college future look like?” Theo asked.  You raised an eyebrow, sitting on the planked floor against the wall.
“My college future?” You repeated, and he nodded.
“You get questions, I get questions.  It’s the game” You nodded, smiling at the idea of the game.
“Alright, I’ll play.  I applied for a few places, but I really just want to get into NYC” You said.
“Why so far?”
“Nope, my turn for a question” You said.  “Why’d you come to Lydia’s party?”
“Hoping to find you miss y/n” He stated unashamedly.  “Why do you want to go to NYC?”
“Because it’s far and I want to explore on my own.  Gain a sense of freedom and independence you know?” Theo smiled at that, and nodded.  “Mr Raeken” You began in a deep formal voice, and making him laugh.  “Do you have the hots for moi?” He chuckled at the question.
“I do believe so, miss y/n” He said, shuffling over closer next to you.  For a moment you thought he was going to lean over and kiss you, maybe wrap an arm around you, but he did neither.  “And do you for me?” You looked over and smiled at him, fully aware of the mere two inches between your lips and his.  You nodded your head just barely.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were a chimera to begin with?” You asked quietly.
“I didn’t want to scare you off so soon” He replied in the same volume.  You watched his eyes flicker down to your lips for a moment, then back to your own.  “Did you hate me when Kira told you… things?” He asked.  You shook your head, choosing to keep silent in this answer.  He watched you inch closer just a little 
“Do you want to kiss me?” You murmured.  Theo rose a hand, his fingertips dusting lightly over your cheek before cupping it.
“Yes” He said, your eyes trained on his lips as he spoke the single word.
“Then do it”
It only took him half a second before his lips slanted against yours, making you see stars behind your closed eyes.  Your hands slid up behind his neck, into his hair and resting in the soft locks.  You hummed in pleasure, scooting forward and moving your lips in sync with his.  You felt him smile against you, and you parted briefly.
“Wow” You whispered, eyes still shut and nose bumping his.  Theo chuckled, opening his eyes to find yours still closed.
“How would you feel on going out tomorrow night with the bad guy?” He asked you, and you opened your eyes, pressing your cheek against his warm palm.
“I would love to go out tomorrow night with a… a good guy in training” You said with a bright smile and small giggle.  With that answer he leaned back in and kissed you shortly, to which you pulled him right back in for a satisfyingly longer kiss.
“I like the sound of that better” Theo said, and you smiled again.
“Me too” You said, hands resting on his shoulders.  You stared at him for a moment, then moved closer on your knees, and straddled over his lap.  
Theo watched your actions, his arms falling from holding your face gently.  You both looked down as you sat yourself on his thighs, then met eyes again.  You smiled shyly, and leaned down to press your lips to his again.  His hands rested on your hips, then encircled around your waist to embrace you against him.  Your lips moved together in a soft dance.  He did even try to stick his tongue down your throat, showing you nothing but affection and gentleness.  You smiled against his lips, giving him one last, longing kiss.  You both parted slowly.
“I would like to fall in love with you” He told you, making you laugh softly and shake your head.  He brushed back the fallen strands of hair.
“I’d like to fall in love with you as well, Mr Raeken” You responded.
And you very well did.
hope it was everything you dreamed Xx
xoxo ~ jordie
PS: DONT FORGET TO VOTE UR FAV TW GIRL + GUY IN MY ASKS!! XX
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graciecatfamilyband · 7 years
Text
Be Gone, KFKD
The other day, @lajulie24 made a post about that radio station that plays in creator's ears and talks sh*t about them, termed KFKD by Anne Lamott in one of her classic books on writing). You can and should read @lajulie24 's beautiful post on this and plea for fellow fanfic writers to continue to write through the radio noise here. Here is a relevant excerpt, however:
KFKD (yes, that’s short for K-Fucked) is a concept from Anne Lamott in her book on writing, Bird by Bird. (It’s a great book, incidentally.) It’s an imaginary radio station that plays in every writer’s—nay, every artist’s—ears. In one ear: concertos and symphonies about how insanely talented and special and misunderstood and gifted one is and all the accolades and talk show appearances and words of praise that will be coming one’s way; in the other, the greatest hits of every mistake one has made over a lifetime, songs of doubt, hymns of self-loathing, warning tones that soon the jig will be up and everyone will find out what an utter worthless fraud one is.
...sometimes it just wants to play and play and play and make us simultaneously doubt ourselves and feel underappreciated and unseen.
I wanted to share some strategies I myself use to help turn down KFCK, just in case they could benefit anyone else. I’d also love other people to comment or reblog with their strategies!
I also tried to stick to “I” language more than “you” language since this is just what works for me. Sorry if I bore you with too much detail about my writing process or come off as self-centered as a result D: (and for the self-talk that calls me a “we”  not crazy, I promise. Or am I....?).
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Some Strategies I Find Helpful for Turning Down KFCK:
1. Tapping In To Why I Write
Maybe this is because I see myself as a "new" writer- I don't know that I've written fiction on the page in the last 10 years, and even then, it was very rare for me (although I have years of 'in my head' practice) but every story I write begins with a question: "Can I do this?"
Sometimes I'm more confident as I sit down to type my first brainstorm or draft ("Yeah, i totally can") sometimes less, but I have to confess, I'm never totally sure.
And I really do genuinely want to find out.
There are even times I truly feel like the answer is, "No, I can't do this."
Then I tell myself, "Well, it feels that way, but we did this much and it's not finished yet. I bet we can at least finish it even if it's not what we want. Even if it's so far from what we want that we think it's a failure. Actually, that's a really interesting question- if I can't actually do this, what WILL it look like when it's finished? Will it be a failure? What does that even mean, if it's finished? That's at least worth finding out, because I'm really curious."
So far, this approach has helped me finish, and at the end I haven't failed by any of my own personal standards!
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2. Knowing My Writing Process
At some point- usually at least at two point- I will hate whatever I'm writing. This is not linked to whatever is on the page; sometimes it happens when my draft is still very weak, but just as often it happens when there's a lot of great stuff going on and there are some fixable problems. It's not really about what's on the page; it's usually about where I'm at. The draft is looking different than I imagined (LITERALLY ALWAYS), or I'm not sure if I can do the next step well, or I've been working too much on it at once and need a break, or my brain is just Doing The Thing.
I have learned this by watching myself and noticing that I cycle, kind of like this:
IDEA. --> BRAINSTORM/FREEWRITING. THIS IS GONNA BE KILLLLEEER YAS. --> Omg wait. Is this great or terribly stupid? I literally can't tell. Omg. If I can't tell, it's stupid. It's stupid. But I kind of like it? No, it's terrible. --> okay, well, we're gonna keep working and see what happens --> Not bad not bad --> OMG ITS STUPID --> OMG IM ON FIRE I LOVE IT --> Not bad Not bad --> I HATE THIS PIECE I WILL NEVER LIKE IT --> Nice job, self, really nice job.
It varies a lot, but that's a good gist.
The great thing about knowing this cycle is that- while the emotions are always there- they have much less power. "Oh, hello, Hatred. You were bound to show up eventually. Why don't you sit in this corner and have some tea while Mommy works, huh?" Hating what I'm writing (at least in this short-term way I'm describing) DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING IS UNUSUALLY WRONG WITH THE PIECE AT WHATEVER STAGE I'M IN. Its just my brain's roadblock it tries to throw up. Which means I can ignore it rather than engage with it. "Shhh, Hatred, play quietly, Mommy's working."
For those of you who have seen How I Met Your Mother, it's like the tape jammed into Marshall's car that only plays The Proclaimer’s 500 Miles. On road trips the characters love it and jam to it, they hate it and despair, they love it and jam to it, and hate it and despair, in an endless cycle.
Hating the song right now? As Marshall says, “Don’t worry… it comes around again”.
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3. I Find a Friend - or Two - or Five
We hear this all the time, right? Find a beta who you trust to help you improve your work, blah blah blah, and while I can't emphasize the enough the truth and wisdom of that, it's not quite what I mean here.
I'm talking about cheerleaders and partners-in-crime. This can be the same person as a critical beta (although if so *I* let them know I don't need that part of them right now, I need them in a different, supportive role) or another person. The OMG YES friend. The person you can go to who will whisper DEW IT when you need it most.
"I was going to participate in this fandom thing, but I'm nervous. Let's do it together?" (This one works extra well if it's someone you want to read more from, muwahaha.)
"I have this idea. Do you think I should write it or nah?"
"I'm halfway through this story and I'm not sure if it's worth finishing. What do you think?"
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My favorite kind of writing friend is the one who can tell me what I'm doing *well* as much as poorly, especially in an early draft when I'm not sure if the story has legs. "No, keep going, I really like what you're doing with X and I really want to know what happens with Y." "Omg that's such a funny bit. I'd love more of that." Etc.
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4. What Do I Want, As A Reader? / What Would I Tell Another Author? 
This one is pretty self-evident: If another writer came to me with the concerns I’m having, what would I say to them? If another writer were considering giving up on a piece because other writers had done something similar, what would I tell them? 
I think most of us would note the reasons that we WOULD want a piece from another author! Most of us want to see that one trope in a new way for the 10th time because we love it, most of us love to see all the different creative takes on an idea, etc. Most of us are able to see this so clearly as readers, and struggle to see it as writers. 
(I literally pretend I’m talking to another author / tell myself whatever I would tell them.)
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4. How Might Another Author Feel If They Heard Me Talking This Way?
The flip side of the above thing is, what would someone who both a) wants to write themselves, and b) genuinely likes my writing, think if they heard me talking like this? 
I know when I hear writers that I respect get down on themselves- especially really get down on themselves- it makes me feel like I shouldn’t be writing at all. If So-and-So’s stuff isn’t good enough, how could mine ever be? 
I would never want to make someone feel that way if they were trying to write, so why would I say that kind of stuff to myself? 
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5. The There’s Always Someone Principal
I may think what I write is vastly inferior to So-and-So’s piece, but usually I find that for every two pieces that are similar or have similar themes, someone likes each of those pieces better than the other. It’s incredibly likely that someone out there may actually like mine better, insane though it might sound. There are all sorts of tastes out there! And really, usually: both pieces have significant things to offer.  
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(Also worth noting: Its possible- likely even- that that other author you feel intimidated by might feel intimidated by YOU.)
6. Telling Jokes to Myself (Sometimes About Myself)
If you ever see my posts apparently despairing about my writing process (like this one here), fear not! I'm just engaging in my tactic of making fun of myself while I write. LOL. Its not as toxic as it sounds (for me at least- if its toxic for you, DON’T DO IT)! I find that, for whatever reason, making fun of myself takes the pressure off 100% and lets me enjoy the writing process more. So if you see me doing it, feel free to like, feel free to ignore. Send encouragement if you literally can’t help it, but “haha, lol, writing is so weird” is a totally fine response! 
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s3venpounds · 5 years
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1 - 102
ASK MEE RIDICULOUSLY PERSONAL THINGSSSSSSSSSSSS YEEEEEEEEEEEE i love this shit
thanks for the ask anon, at this point im sure yall already know everything about me but hey whats a couple more questions c:
1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood?
YIKES tough right off the bat huh? it would have to be the opening to digimon frontier ayyyyyyyyyy i still listen to that shit every fucking month. its that or disney’s hercules i can go the distance that shit was just MMMMMMM good shit2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet?
yep a blue and white love bird my family called quick silver we taught it to do adorable little tricks like pick up our pencils when we do homework and it rolls away3.) have you ever been drunk?
hehe yeah fun times4.) have you ever tried drugs?
yup! curious about trying more hard drugs but also i dont wanna get addicted or like idk die/get arrested5.) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said?
ALL THE FUCKING TIME. infact at work i told a customer we didnt have a thing and the customer was like whats that right behind u, and it was the thing they were looking for i felt so stupid lmao6.) have you ever made someone cry?
yeah.7.) has someone ever made you cry?
yeah.8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it.
honestly idk if i ever have been in love. I would think that i have but yknow you never know what the future holds so looking back something in the past could pale in comparison to something in the future9.) which came first the chicken or the egg?
the chicken, evolved from some other bird10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them?
dunno if im part of the community by status but i wholeheartedly approve and support them. speaking just for myself though I just think I’m me and nothing else. whether im non binary or male or female or something else doesn’t matter to me. im attracted to who im attracted to, feel what i feel, and do what i want with a hint of salt. If plants can have like 10 000 genders or whatever, then anyone can be whatever they want unless its something fucked up like age fluid lmao if youre 60 youre 60 even if you have the “mind of a 14 year old”11.) how many siblings do you have?
412.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love?
yeah in fact just recently13.) are you a good cook?
fuck no. i fucking wish tho, not even a good cook i just wanna be able to copy recipes on tasty’s facebook page hahaha14.) what is your favorite tv show?
right now i dont have one and i definitely dont watch tv shows often unless you count anime then haikyuu!! or My hero Academia15.) what is the last movie you cried during?
i think it was a tyler perry movie something about a funeral and a family reunion honestly i cry when any movie has a really strong family sorta bonding specially if the family was broken at first and they all healed together and became closer as a result16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)
none, i did cry whe i was listening to wild wild love by GRL and pitbull for some reason? 17.) do you have a middle name?
nope i do have a nickname given to me by distant relatives18.) have you been out of your country?
yeah thankfully ive been out of canada multiple times19.) are you a chocolate fan or not?
love chocolate in fact im drinking hot chocolate right now, little cold going on so i need it20.) how many people have you kissed?
lips? less than 15, in general no matter where? couldnt count21.) what is your favorite album?
the only album i loved in its entirety has been marianas trench master piece theatre22.) what is your dream car?
2003 dodge viper23.) what is your lucky/favorite number?
i always wanted to be ironic and say 13 but i’ve kinda been leaning towards 10 like hinata’s jersey number24.) what is your favorite flower?
lilacs cuz the color25.) books or movies, why?
movies, less thinking for me26.) have you ever been on a blind date?
nope but i’d love to try it27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you?
yep28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends?
i dont think i have? not consciously.29.) what thing do you symbolize love with?
an act of self sacrifice or something handmade or personally tailored to the individual receiving30.) do you have neat handwriting?
i adore neat handwriting! its like a breath of fresh air, simple and precise to read, and it feels like you can read faster when it is31.) do you have a friend with benefits?
nope but i’d love to have one!32.) do you want a friend with benefits?
just said but yeah i’d love one!33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be?
A hero.34.) have you ever been blackout drunk?
nope but my body refuses to drink any more alcohol once i get to my good buzz point. like all alcohol makes me wanna throw up the second i get past the point its almost like my mind and body are two seperate beings lmao35.) have you ever met someone famous?
i think i have? one time when i went bowling with some relatives, there was a crowd gathering around this blonde dude who was playing house of the dead and this one guy in the crowd approached me saying “ do you know who he is? hes famous?” and then i blanked out after that because i just wanted to watch someone play and mentally check out for an hour36.) how many concerts have you been to?
3 concerts! all which were very fun !37.) which concerts have you been to?
one was an ed sheeran concert for his divide album, another was a marianas trench concert in klondike days edmonton, and the last was a country concert im not sure who it was my sister wanted me to go with her38.) do you have a hidden talent?
i can match any generation 1 pokemon just from their cries some generation 2 but beyond that only a handful from each other generation39.) what do you do when you’re stressed?
masturbate. honestly its the only sure fire thing i’ve done that clears my head for the longest time and relaxes me lmao40.) do you think money can buy love?
of course! just depends how you use it! like if youre just throwing money at random people like “hey love me” itll be fake, but if you say, pay off a struggling student’s loans in full and give em a good fresh start im sure theyll be grateful to you for years to come. or if you pay for someone to get super super expensive surgery so they can die from old age rather than a disease or something then yeah they’d love you forever41.) how old would you date?
honestly not sure, i havent really tried dating anyone a lot older than me i usually date within 4-5 years older or younger? though i dont think i’d see a problem dating someone 10 years older than me42.) have you ever done something illegal?
hehe. ye.43.) what is your biggest fear?
death. too long to elaborate44.) what is an unusual fear you have?
fear of what happens after death45.) can you drive?
nope but i plan to learn how to and take my exam within the next 2 ish months46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures?
of course! as many evolutions that were made common place theres bound to be evolutions that somehow spurred legends and mysteries47.) do you believe in karma?
of course! 100% of the time i expect some stranger to just walk up to me and start slapping me or punching me or throwing water or soda in my face for something i did, though i also prepare myself to say” okay i probably deserved that but can i ask why?”48.) what is one quality you need in your partner?
need to love physical affection, if not i dont think i can last with them, physical affection is so important to me its just as important as saying i love you, it like reassures me that theyre there with me in that moment and that theyre happy and just. physical stuff tells me a lot ok49.) do looks matter?
on first impression? oh hell yeah. keep in mind strictly first impression. im not gonna cut off a potential friendship or relationship because someones not my type or whatever i cut people off if they do something fucked up and horrible50.) does size matter?
to some people im not one of them51.) who is the last person you forgave?
I can’t really remember, i forgive people for small stuff all the time but with big personal mistakes i usually hold grudges52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor?
French Vanilla53.) what languages can you speak besides english?
none but i plan to learn sign language eventually that and visaya54.) ever been on a plane?
yep! i’ve been out of the country so that definitely means by plane i dont know anyone who goes on roadtrips long enough to get out of the country55.) ever been on a boat?
yeah! i thought i’d be seasick but turns out i enjoy being on the water its kinda calming56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t?
yeah my childhood friend ralph, cool dude but our friend groups and interests just kinda diverged57.) are there any friendships you regret?
yeah..58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make?
oh hell yeah! there was this one girl who always ate at the same cafeteria as me and my friend group and i regret not inviting her over and being her friend59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours?
yeah! specially during summer it really sucks and i only do that when my mental state is at a record low self punishment i spose60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am?
hell to the yeah! its the best! like a music video or adventure but it really just helps me clear my mind. oh wait i guess that kinda counts for the calms me down thing so late night walks and masturbating bahahaha61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through?
yep! one time with an ex girlfriend! we stayed from 2 am till 10 am i think singing songs and talking and cuddling on those big swings with a bowl at the bottom62.) are you scared of rollercoasters?
NO !!! I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS!!!! im kind of an adrenaline junkie!63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually?
i personally feel like a 3 but thats probably because im already used to a 7 because of old issues i need sorted out that i’ve just kinda grown to live with the stress64.) do you have any plans this weekend?
considering its sunday? no, next weekend? im working65.) do you miss anyone right now?
yeah. i miss em a lot.66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now?
K,Z, and C i miss em67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be?
the power to fly or have wings that can make me fly. I associate flying with true freedom. 68.) who is your favorite superhero?
All Might69.) are you dirty minded?
ridiculously70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s?
im too lazy for that shit bro…71.) how many kids, if any, do you want?
2 preferably? 72.) who is your biggest OTP?
im not super into shipping just cause it can get pretty toxic but asami and korra73.) what is your favorite food?
aw man im too much of a carnivore to pick just one thing man. uhh fried chicken or this one pork dish my mom makes thats super easy to make its like canned beans with this orange sweet kinda sauce and pork belly slices and potato chunks omggggg i eat so much of that. the last time my mom made that i actually ate the whole thing and i had to make more for everyone else lmao74.) do you want to be married one day?
yeah. it’d be nice not to have to worry about being alone for the rest of my life75.) dogs or cats?
dogs are great and so are cats though i have more patience for cats than i do for dogs. dogs to me are like energetic little kids and thats fine as long as im not dealing with them for an extended period amount of time i get drained pretty easy. cats are like roommates show you love and attention when they want but arent opposed to keeping you company the whole day76.) do you drink enough water daily?
i have no fukcing clue i literally just drink water whenever i have an excuse to drink.77.) have you ever seen a shooting star?
not that i know of? like theres a few times i think i did but i wanna see one thats like unmistakably a shooting star or comet thatd be neat too78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you?
not long term? yeah id love to, just to feel what zero g feels like and the view of earth
79.) how many best friends do you have?
3 ish……..80.) when was the last time you cried?
a few nights ago when they stopped talking to me i cried like a little baby lmao ahhhhhhhhhh yikes81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself?
nope82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed?
i think? there was this one dude who literally thought everything i said was genuinely funny though to this day i have no idea if he was serious or not. i also have not seen that dude ever since83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go?
Venice Italy.84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?
Lonely, Filth, dependant85.) do you consider yourself a loyal person?
no, if my loyalty gets in the way of what i think is the right thing to do then i disregard the loyalty86.) what is your favorite season and why?
Winter. for some reason growing up i always felt like winter was unappreciated and i had this train of thought like “ even the cold needs to be loved” that and most of my wardrobe is just winter stuff. plus midnight walks feel so much nicer since its so cold out you know for a fact no one else would be walking around because whos gonna wait in a dark alley at -30 to mug, rape or kidnap someone.87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it?
nope. if i ever said it i meant it.88.) do you know how to play any instruments?
not reliably. like i know some songs on guitar from youtube tutorials but i can’t play the guitar in all circumstances yknow like i learned the song without mastering the basics89.) do like like falling asleep to music or not?
nope. i need like silence to sleep but ambient noise is preferred. music gives my brain something to focus on and thus stay awake90.) what are you allergic to?
pet fur or feathers and stuff. my eyes get puffy, my nose clogs up and my skin itches91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like?
a sad, extremely rich person and a happy, extremely poor person. to show me what to be grateful for92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be?
huh, thats tough… if its haikyuu i’d love to be daichi, if its my hero academia its hawks or deku93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why
Gal Gadot, I feel like she’d be such a positive influence on my life and that thing she does to people who are shorter than her where she cups their face in her hands omg i’d melt everytime. i just kinda wanna be like a little brother to her lol
94.) are you outgoing?
i would say i am?95.) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to?
oh fuck yeah im fucking gutless96.) are you a good flirt?
nope. awkward and weird af97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down?
yup all the time. part of life98.) which planet is your favorite?
never really thought about planets much but i do stan pluto as a planet99.) are you superstitious?
to an extent100.) are you a good listener?
i’d like to think i am101.) are you a good kisser
also like to think i am probs not102.) would you kiss any of your friends?
all of them honestly well not all of them. mostly cuz yknow theyre taken or theyd probably hate me if i did some of them are super defensive about physical intimacy
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