#im cis but also like. i do want to be a girl with a dick

[chrliekclly]

if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out

i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)

i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it

iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly

evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.

having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:

baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game

middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.

high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]

college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now

joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.

as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.

i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.

so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.

[rouge-the-bat]

i really do wonder what ppl who tout the "non-men loving non-men" definition of lesbian think about multigender people. do they EVER consider us? even a tiny bit? bc it certainly doesnt feel like it. it feels like any one of these situations:

they already dont think being multigender is a thing, and say shit like "you can only be a man, a woman, or nonbinary, not all of the above."

they quite literally dont think about how multigender people would work in relation to sexuality. they may claim to support us, but they dont pay attention to or care about the fact our gender identity ISNT just an isolated thing that has no affect or connection to anything else about us.

they look at my gender (genderfluid between woman, man, and many forms of nonbinary, more oftentimes a mix), and say oh well youre PARTIALLY a man in some way so that means you cant be a lesbian! so, basically my man-ness just "taints" me and negates the fact that im also a woman and nonbinary? what about the days where my genderfluidity contains no bit of man at all? can i only be a lesbian SOMETIMES?

they yell about non-men all they want, but see my gender and go, "oh not YOU though :) i mean people who are ONLY a man!" and not realize how that is 1. them not saying at all what they mean in their definition if still SOME men are okay and 2. extremely comes across as misgendering and that they dont see me as Actually a man if im not mono-gendered, regardless of their intention. if you are going to categorize people as "men or non-men" and try to fit me in only one or the other, you are misgendering me no matter what. non-men is not the same thing as non-mono-gendered-men.

and all of this also makes me wonder: what would these people think if they saw me in person, holding hands with my girlfriend?

for context: transmeds would 100% consider me a faker not only bc im genderfluid, use any pronouns (esp neos), and am without dysphoria (for gender anyways), but because theyd think im just cis. im afab with no hormone changes or surgery, nor do i want any (my ideal genitals being a dick or barbie-doll-smooth aside, since i dont care enough to do surgery about it, and any of my other gender ideals would require shapeshifting), i like my big boobs, AND im femme. my fat even adds to my curves. most people would probably read me as only a girl and not think twice about it, esp if im dressing up as femme as i like being at the time.

so, if these people shouting "non-men loving non-men" at those like me all the time ended up seeing me irl, what would they think? would they see im extremely femme and read as a girl while holding hands with my girlfriend (who isnt femme but still is easily read as a girl) and think oh yeah, thats a lesbian right there? because a huge part of me says that they absolutely would have no issue with it

who knows if anyone who swears up and down by the "non-men loving non-men" definition will actually read this, but i REALLY wish more people would actually hear out multigender folks and see how definitions like this are incompatible with us. think about how our identity doesnt exist in a vacuum. realize that plenty of us ARE lesbians no matter what anyone else says, and we do not abide to your """inclusive""" definition that actually doesnt consider our existence at all.

or at least realize identity labels dont have a one-size-fits-all definition in the vastness of queer experiences, that people are going to have definitions for things that are different from yours, and you dont hold the One True Right Definition. realize that definitions are not rules that are placed upon words, theyre explanations for how these words are being used across the world, through time, and vary from person, place, and time. definitions are fluid, not static, and many words have multiple definitions.

[spro-o]

i noticed that in your art you referred to gowther as auncle and that had me kicking my feet so may you please spare your nnt gender/sexuality headcanons and fave ships? hope your exams have gone/are going well and that you have a great weekend :D

*laughs evilly* yes,,,, my time to shine,,, >:3

thank you very much for the ask!! indeed i would love to share my queer hcs and favourite ships for the gang!!

hcs (heads up, some references to horny preferences)

Meliodas:

trans man (he/him) (im not projecting, trust) (lie)

pansexual

he has a very high libido/pervy tendencies, yes, but also an equally strong potential for romantic love - i do think of him as quite the possessive/protective type on a very deep emotional level, he just covers it up by acting like a perv all the time (something something traumatised and doesnt want others to see him caring for people since he fears they will take them away from him)

top-leaning switch and much freakier than his appearances may lead some to believe

Diane:

cis woman (she/her)

bisexual

has definitely kissed elizabeth multiple times on their "girl's nights/sleepovers"

the type to blush and fawn over every woman in existence,,,, and her husband too ig

pegs king on the regular

Ban:

masc-alligned genderqueer (he/they) (not projecting again) (another lie)

bisexual

finds men and women attractive at about an even ratio

he picks his clothing to be so slutty for a reason (queer signalling + hes a sucker for that kind of attention, though he might act like he doesnt care) (he cares most when said attention comes from meliodas, which is affirmed every time mel takes the chance to feel him up)

bottom-leaning switch and the most masochistic masochist you ever will meet

King:

cis man (he/him)

bisexual (god damn all these bitches bi ‼️‼️)

i think we all know how king discovered his like of men (,,, cough,, helbram,,)

yeah helbram definitely pull a couple of those 'leaning in for a kiss/doing some other gay shit' stunts as a joke and was like haha got you and king was just sat there, bright red, blood streaming down his nose

denied these stunts had any effect on him whatsoever

gets pegged by diane on the regular

Gowther:

non-binary (they/them) (intersex??? i mean, theyre a doll, probably got interchangeable parts lmao)

demisexual and demiromantic gay/queer

they dont really have a specific label to describe what genders theyre attracted to, its just sorta 'anything goes if we vibe', and its gay either way, so they keep it broad

as mentioned, theyre referred to by gender-neutral titles, but dont mind the occasional "miss ma'am" for comedic effect

tends to prefer bottoming, but not exclusively

Merlin:

nb trans woman (she/they)

aro-spec lesbian

shes never had much luck or want for romantic relationships but has definitely had her fair share of thotin around with women

very skilled at rizzing up said women, but its really a 50/50 whether shes doing so to get someone laid or to acquire her next social-experiment subject (whom she will also probably dick down later, who knows)

Escanor:

cis man,,,, he/him

straight,,

sorry yall, gotta have the token straight ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tho i do hc as being aware of the fact that merlin wont return his feelings, but having accepted that, so all the poetry he writes for her is more of a sign of appreciation of her as a friend, and not as an attempt to hit on her

Bonus!!

Elizabeth:

cis woman (she/her)

pansexual

the type to have gotten so so many crushes when she was younger,,, finding everyone really attractive and charming, and as a result being the most easily flustered person ever

as each sin rejoined the group, shed have her mandatory moment of "oh god,,,, its another very very hot/attractive person"

switch, but very gentle and caring no matter the position

Elaine:

demigirl (she/they)

sapphic

very easily flustered (extremely weak for elizabeth)

pillow princessing all over the place

Zeldris:

non-binary (he/they/xe)

bisexual, with a preference for women

tends to be pretty resistant to flirtatious remarks and whatnot, but is the absolute weakest when its from gelda (professional simp /pos)

,,,, also a massive bottom, but i digest

Gelda:

trans woman (she/her, also doesnt mind they/them)

demiromantic bisexual

knows exactly the effect she has on zeldris, but loves pretending she has no idea

shell say "oh, sorry just need to grad a book from the shelf behind you" and then get her boobs as close to zel's face as possible without making skin contact, and stay there until xe's gone bright red

hung

ships:

Melban - obviously, this one goes kinda goes without saying for me. i absolutely love the dynamic between these two, and their shared history as well. they are both very much sick in the head and have so many issues they each struggle with, but at the same time they cant take anything seriously. there are countless interactions between them which are just so so homoerotic, if not just really sweet. these two quite literally will go to hell and back for the other without a second thought, and i adore that (say its bros bein dude all you want, you cant convince me they didnt fuck in purgatory and on many other occasions)

Elilaine - theyre like melban but less punchy, more of the "normal about expressing love for the other". i know there arent many deep interactions between Elizabeth and Elaine, but i just, once again, think that they have a really adorable dynamic and would just make for the most lovely couple (with equally deceivingly harmless looks, but very much the potential to whoop ass if need be)

Geldris - these two, despite canonically being just a straight couple, are one of the most queer duos in the damn series,,, they just are, man, idk. big fan of them both being very gothic and stuff, and obviously im a sucker for how much zeldris buckles at the knees for anything gelda does,,, love them

Hendreyfus - old,,, old man yaoi my beloved (i just think theyre really adorable and are like and old married couple - very cutes!!) (also yeah old men)

i also do love the rarepair (? polycule) of all time, that being melban x elilaine,,, we should have seen more interactions between mel and elaine, and between ellie and ban!! they definitely got up to all sorts of stuff, i just know it

anyways!! thank you very much for the ask!! thankfully i only have one more exam left on monday and then im free from those :,) i hope you have a lovely day!! :D

[x-honeycomb-x]

ftms can be trans feminine ♥️

mtfs can be trans masculine 💙

completely ooc post, recently my mtf friend came out as trans masculine, and I've also been out as she/they for months now. I was at a t4t party and was referred by people as a trans woman and it gave me so much euphoria.

personally i enjoy being feminine but I wish I was AMAB. I wish I was a amab person on estrogen. That makes me trans. And I'm genderfluid, so when I'm in my feminine mood swing, I am a trans woman.

and turns out im not alone in this! after talking about it on instagram and discord, there's a lot of non-binary people telling me that they want to transition SO they can do more stuff that's related to their birth gender. I literally had said "I can't wait to be at least 6 months on testosterone so I can wear more women's clothes."

my friend asked me, what is the difference between let's say a ftm being feminine or trans feminine? to that I replied,

some ftms want to be a feminine guy

some ftms wanna be a trans woman

yeah! there's a lot of ways people can experience euphoria and dysphoria, and it's different to everyone. I have a friend who went through masculinization and feminization surgery in one day. I have a friend joked they're tris (mix of trans cis) cause they are just butch, not entirely a cis woman but also not quite trans. I have friends who prefer to be on low dose of testosterone. I personally want to be a girl with a dick. And a boy with a pussy.

I remember seeing a post here saying "reblog to completely detransition the person you repost this from", and I think i engaged with this kink in a very cusheteronormal way. i don't want to be bred by a cis man, and I don't want to be a cis girl either. i'm guessing since this kink community is the way I experienced genderbending, it did encourage me to experiment with gender, but also I feel like it has limited my options with gender. or maybe i just wasn't shown the possibilities of genders.

I am genderfluid and now I identify as a futch dyke. I'm a bit of a butch and femme, and I am a lesbian when I'm fem. When I'm masc I am mlm. Sometimes Im non-binary and into non-binary stuff.

Anyways. Just wanna be able to say that I'm trans feminine, and ftms are allowed to be trans feminine, and mtfs are allowed to be trans masculine. thanks for reading. 🖤🖤

[angellurgy2]

lmao i’m sick of this sometimes estrogen makes your penis not work!! actually it ALMOST ALWAYS DOES that’s what estrogen does. stop making ppl feel bad because they ‘haven’t figured it out’ or are jerking off ‘wrong’ bitch PLEASE. some ppl cant cum. some ppl dont have much sensation. trans or cis whatever. but a LOT of trans fems get viagra or topical testosterone so they can orgasm and/or maintain erections. but like pls stop acting like ur penis should work while on ESTROGEN. its so fucking unhelpful. like i don’t know how to say that is literally what happens. if you took T and ended up with a beard i’d be like yep that’s what happens. i love my trans family and i love being trans but sometimes there’s these random fake ass facts that get spread around and they’re SO unhelpful. because of this shit girls who want to top/use their d/cum/etc might never ask about testosterone options and just spend an entire life thinking they are BAD at jerking off. being trans made them bad at pleasing themselves. do u even hear how nutty that sounds.

girl im literally in the tags of that post complaining about how it doesnt work on me. also that posts not even about that. its about dicks that DO work and normal jacking off not working. why r u so fucking mad 😭 im literally trying to figure out how i can get off and have it feel nice bc rn my dick works it just feels boring !! and ur in here being angry at *me* calling me a bitch bc "but tops :(" cmon lmao

[myaoiboy]

how do u feel abt bottom solid snake? 👀 (and Otacon being an absolute weeb degen when it comes to fucking him hc)

okay so first of all i should clarify that basically all of my ships go both ways (bc i am a filthy vers and i cannot relate to only being into one or the other kjhfkdsj)

i looooove snake bottoming, especially with grey fox and kaz bc imo they're more likely to want to fuck him up real bad (Kaz for Revenge Related Reasons, Fox cause he's just kinky like that)

my thoughts on otacon TOPPING however, are complicated. im of two minds:

one, i relate to him. kinda also look like him (is that a self own? feels like one). i like topping. otacon topping makes me go :))) from dopamine

HOWEVER in-universe i feel like he has shit to unpack, trauma-wise, before he can top. dude probably thinks his dick is cursed, i know i would. That's not to say i think he doesnt top, i just think there's a lot of Fun Trauma Breakdowns in the meantime. I feel like for a long time, cis or trans, otacon has to use straps/sheaths to top bc he *cannot* be directly inside someone, probably a mental thing mostly, like fear that if he does something bad will happen.

He totally has something like this:

snake strikes me as a whiny/needy bottom. dunno why, I think he puts on such a front of being stoic most of the time, and when he gets to let go of control he just busts apart like a fucking pillsbury tube.

i forget if ive said it on here before but like. what's the point of having a superspy boyfriend if you're not having freaky RP sex on the reg? they totally do.

Do we know if snake speaks japanese? if he didn't before, he totally at LEAST picks up weeby dirty talk from hal's hentai. he can do a shockingly good hentai girl impression sigh/moan/scream etc, and ahegao faces of course. even out of the bedroom, he totally says ara ara and calls him onii-chan to fluster him too, things like that.

[matashaw]

The Hydra trio

≫ hey! I decided to make headcanons of them since they’ve been growing inside me all summer. And why the fuck have I only found 1 person that ships them? This should be considered a crime!! (Take this as a gift pls @gastaticn <3)

(tw for slight nsfw in the ship headcanons part)

General headcanons:

Liquido

Demi boy, gay, he/they pronouns and a heart full of rage

Australian but with Dutch descendants

Uses a cheap cologne Del Aqua got him on his birthday, it was 3 euros but it somehow works pretty well! “But, isn’t Del Aqua rich?? Isn’t líquido pretty rich too?” Yeah he’s rich but his ass isn’t spending his money on colognes, he’s spending it on alcohol! And Del Aqua forgot about his birthday so he just took the first cologne he saw

Has a mullet because if his hairstyle has no haters IM DEAD, also a mullet suits him a lot! (oh and he’s got a light blue hair with darker blue highlights too)

MEAN GAY PORN STAR MEAN GAY PORN STAR MEAN GAY PORN STAR

Skipper

cis, pansexual, he/him pronouns

Italian mom and Canadiense dad, born in Italy

The mom of the group <3 (he’s as insane as them but gladly is the only one that still has some brain cells left)

Has a huge tattoo of a shark in his back, the first time his teammates saw it they were all like “uh, you know that shit will be there forever, right?” Expect for Shane, Shane was admiring it and literally asks skipper to show her his tattoo every time she has the chance

Shane Finn

Demi girl, bisexual, any pronouns but prefers she/her

her mom is Colombian, dads Argentinian, born in Portugal. Loves her parents with all her heart btw

LOVES cats, once found a cat in the streets and adopted it, she’s never been happier

Can be quite nice, usually only gets in trouble when Liquido convinces her to. she really doesn’t like talking to the opponents a lot, she’d usually respond with “yeah” “mhm” to literally anything they’re saying

One of the prettiest players in the super league but doesn’t get as many fan girls because football 360º fucked up her image

Ship headcanons:

skipper is one of the most romantic persons you’ll ever meet, and that warms up Shane so badly! It also warms Liquido but when I mean warms him up I mean it in a “getting horny” way

And yeah, Liquido is usually the horniest of the 3 by a HUGE difference. He can have sex in almost any surface! Which is quite impressing to be honest

Shane has an HORRIBLE memory for when it comes to birthdays. She can remember the whole Mamma Mia musical script but somehow doesn’t remember Líquidos and Skippers birthdays

Do I have to say it or? Shane LOVES musicals. She was actually a huge theater kid back in high school and sometimes sings some songs while cooking or when bored, Liquido despises it because he has an hatred to musicals

Skipper helps Shane and Liquido with their hairs

Liquido keeps trying to convince them to get matching hair colors but Skipper hates dyed hair and Shane just loves her hair too much to dye it

Shane keeps bringing in stray cats in the house and cries like crazy when Skipper tells her they can’t have another one more because they already have like 8 cats

LIQUIDO HATES CATS WITH A BURNING PASSION

He’s like the dad that told you he didn’t want any animals in the house but then you see him being the closest one with the animal

Fancy restaurants? Their dates are surfing together and throwing each others into the ocean

Liquido once broke his arm and made Shane and Skipper carry him to his house which was PRETTY far away

——“hey, but you can perfectly walk? It’s only an arm!”

——“Skipper, why are you pulling on my dick.”

Skipper loves playing with Shane’s hair and doing all kinds of braids and hairstyles

Liquido got them into making fun of North and keeps talking shit about him

got matching surfing boards

Once got caught kissing and Del Aqua had to go out and say the pictures were edited (they still laugh about it to this day)

They 3 have really different music tastes so trying to put music in the car is like war

NSFW headcanons

Shane and Liquido love sucking dick

When doing blowjobs they usually turn each other, one for example kissing Skipper and the other one sucking his cock

Shane is into hair pulling, and loves when Liquido or Skipper pulls her hair while fucking

Sadly, Shane doesn’t last a lot, she is usually done at round 2 while Skipper and Liquido have already lost the count

Liquido loves rough sex, which is something hard when one of his partners is pretty vanilla

Shane once passed out and Skipper freaked out because he thought they killed her (she woke up like 2 minutes later)

——“LIQUIDO WE KILLED HER OH MY GOD WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW? THIS IS NOT FUNNY LIQUIDO STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT”

——and Liquido pissing himself in the background

Shane likes exploring off her limits so she’ll on rare occasions ask Liquido to go rough but will tell him to stop after like 5 seconds

Liquido also loves stroking Shane’s dick, he loves when she tells him she’s about to cum

Oh and I forgot!! Shane moans at the tiniest delicate touch

Ok… that’s all!!

[jolapeno]

Although we know that both Javi P and Frankie are sweet angels who can do no wrong (wanting to leave CI’s to die? Working with death squads? Leaving a pregnant/post-natal wifey and a baby to rob a drug Lord in a jungle? No, I don’t know them 🌚😂), I’ve recently had this thought that I can’t get out of my head.

Which of the two is the biggest fuck boy? Like, if they were both in that same stereotypical jock guy group that everyone either loves or hates in high school, who’s got the potential to be the bigger dick? Who’s doing the bullying rather than the sticking up for the person being bullied?

I can see the potential for them both tbf. I feel like the obvious way to think would be Javi based purely on the ‘sleeping around’ assumption, and that always seems to be a big thing in that, again stereotypical, high schooly type vibe, however I think that Frankie could have a streak like that in him for sure.

Idk, it’s fun to imagine bc Frankie being intentionally mean to anyone just because he feels like it? We do see javi being mean in the way that he’s shouting at folk (ahhh help I’m thinking of him wrapping his hand round that girls throat in s2 🥵 Yoire braking my fckn heart baby AAAHHHHH 😭) and being a sassy little bitch.

I do feel like they both, in their own stories, have the potential to be (or even have been in their past) this way, but I just think it’d be interesting to take them completely canon-divergent. Who’s the biggest Regina George?

I’m unsure that this has been a rational thought process to follow and for that I apologise! 😂

Some javi/frankie tax for your troubles of figuring out my train of thought hahaha

okay, so i love the tax. both of them. two of my FAVE scenes ever, like the hiss and the tie will forever be unmatched.

so, your question has layers because a fuck boy to me isn't someone who would bully someone? so i think neither of them. i think they'd have their moments where they'd say something cutting, snarky and possibly leaning towards mean (because like people do say hurtful things). now, canon-divergent who do i think could be a horrible bloody bitch, I'm going to say frankie. he's quick to anger, quick to lash out (as we see even with Pope). he apologises, but if we're AU'ing it, I'm going to say him.

now, who do i think is casually sleeping around, being a bit fuck-boy-ish, I'm also going to say frankie.

i hope i kinda answered? but i did answer twice so... im taking my cookie :D

[astralnymphh]

Hii, im also a mtf trans lesbian i just wanna put my own opinion out there too, im on anon to avoid getting threats in my dms (happened before) so i hope u dont mind.

i love your work but im not gonna lie ur trans ellie blurb came off as weird and fetish to ME, ure not even a transwoman so im not sure why u decided to write that blurb in the first place or without proper to knowledge on how to represent transwoman bc u did not do a great job. The only “trans” thing about ellie was her genitalia and no other aspects of her trans identity were mentioned which is super weird and it honestly seems like u people just want a cis girl with a dick and not an actual mtf. Again, not sure why u wrote that when ure not even a trans woman but if ure gonna continue at the very least research and learn to make transwomen properly represented bc u did not at all.

thank you

yes that was not okay of me to do. spur of the moment blurb, but that still doesn't make it appropriate. honestly, probably going to remove it— don't want to let that linger on my page since it comes off fetishy and weird. i will research if I ever try to continue/find a trans author to collaborate with. I'm very sorry to have published that without thinking, and this won't be looked over. never want to weird people out EVER again. thank you for pointing this out.

and it's alr for going anon, people are fucked up and twisted on this app.

[boy-above]

on this pride month i've decided that the current closest descriptor for my gender is...

i'm gonna do a whole lot of talking abt my gender and stuff, honestly it's mostly for myself to organize my thoughts but i do like talking abt myself sometimes so if you read, thank you i guess

before i figured out i was a boy i ID'd as nonbinary for several years, i was hesitant to ID as masculine because at the time the community was so drenched with radfem ideology that myself and a lot of other transmascs were afraid to come out / even think about exploring masculinity because we were constantly being told how evil men were all the time. so instead i went through like, so many nonbinary labels, but none of them really suited me, i discovered. agender, bigender, genderfluid, i tried a lot of them. the thing is that i knew i didn't want to be a Girl, but was very hesitant to consider i was a Boy because of the previously mentioned radfem rhetoric being spread. this isn't a post to talk about that though, you've heard a lot about that from me already lmao. it's just an important component of the struggles with gender i had growing up.

anyway, once i finally accepted i was a boy, i was excited. i checked the boxes for a trans man, i wanted a dick (and am still mad i don't have one), i wanted he/him pronouns, i was comfortable being called a boy, etc. and i still want all of those things, so why am i starting to question the trans man label?

i think mostly it comes down to how my gender has been shaped by societal and environmental expectations. i have gender dysphoria but not in an entirely "traditional" way. i want a dick, i want a flat chest, i want a deeper voice. but im also gender nonconforming, and have no interest trying to do traditionally masculine things to "fit in" with cis men. i don't think femininity is some horrible thing to be avoided, i like a lot of feminine things and don't think so many things should be gendered in the first place. i don't think trying hormones would fix me because there's other ways i Don't want to look like a man. if anything i would say Nothing can truly fix my dysphoria because i don't want to look like Anything. there is no perfect me i can envision in my head, if anything i don't even want to look human; i don't even want to be perceived. there's also parts of me that no amount of surgery to fix, im only 4'9 for example, and even cis men get berated for being short let alone trans men.

that's why i've only told my immediate family, my friends, and my doctor that i'm a boy. i never plan of publicly coming out. on the rare occasion i do, i settle with they/them instead of my preferred he/him because it's just easier that way. you get a lot of laughing and eyerolling as a feminine looking person if you try to use he/him. ive been trans for so many years but i can never truly escape the chance that people might perceive me as a "trender" (hate that word, gag) because i simply don't pass. and then of course there's my parents who refuse to use he/him and will only use they/them. they know i want he/him but they won't even try. they're just like "you can't really expect us to call you a boy."

i have so much sympathy for fellow closeted people. the community never considers you and it ends up being a lonely place. you don't fit in with cis people but other trans people don't want you. once i read a piece called "i am a trans woman, i am in the closet, i am not coming out." and i can't even tell you how important that writing was to me. i read it at just the right time, years ago when i think i really needed it. it's one of the only things that made me feel like staying in the closet was an option. that i can only be out where i feel safe.

i've questioned before if my gender nonconformity and the way people treat non-passing individuals is the true reason i've become skeptical of my trans man identity. i think most likely it is, i think that if we lived in a world where it was perfectly socially exceptable to be a feminine trans man and people in public would accept me and treat me like a boy, i'd have no problem saying "i'm a trans man", but we don't live in that world. the world we're in right now has no room for people like me, and it's something i've had to accept. another thing worth mentioning is that i don't even really like the word 'man' being applied to me, i just felt like i had to use it because some people treat trans boys badly if they prefer 'boy' over 'man'. but i like being a boy. the word boy suits me better. the word man just doesn't seem applicable to me. i'm not masculine enough and the word just feels kinda wrong in my brain, the same way being called "handsome" does. i want to be cute, and calling me handsome would just be inaccurate. do you get what im saying?

but anyway, i think demiboy suits me because its more 'loose' than trans man for lack of a better word. its less specific and i think thats what i need right now. im a boy, but calling myself binary doesnt quite feel right. calling myself nonbinary also doesnt feel right though. like i said i ID'd as nonbinary for several years so i have no problem with the label in general, it just doesnt feel right when applied to me personally. it's kinda weird to describe, i know demiboy is not a binary identity, therefore is by definition nonbinary, but the word nonbinary itself just doesnt vibe with me, so i guess i would prefer not to call myself nonbinary??? i dont know how to describe it, it's just a labels thing. because like i said, i feel like trans boy isnt an entirely wrong way to describe me Either. im rambling now because i know my labels problem doesnt make sense. anyway uh yeah. i'm a demiboy. and for anyone who didn't see the post i made a while back, i use he/him and sometimes it/its. unenthusiastically throws a handful of confetti

[pillarsalt]

Im sorry if this goes agains your beliefs, but i wanna day thank you for the stickers on your pinned post. I was struggling with girlhood, not only because i was trans, but also because i felt uncomfortable with being perceived as a girl. I wanted to be called anything other than “girl” or “woman”, so i changed my pronouns and changed my name and did all that good stuff. And ive never felt happier. Ive learned that just because one is not a girl, that one could still present as a girl. Now i dress feminine, like feminine things, and protect woman at all cost.

Your stickers made me smile because i never escaped girlhood. In fact, i embraced it. I love being non-binary and being feminine. I love protecting woman of all kind, not just cisgender, but people who experience sexism the say way cis woman do. I love woman. I love being a feminist. I just dont want to exclude others from the community we made for the reason of giving woman of all kinds freedom.

Hey, no need to be sorry, you can do whatever you want. I'm glad that my art resonated positively with you.

I'm a bit confused by your logic though. I won't try to change your mind, but I'm wondering: Why did it take mentally removing yourself from womanhood to be comfortable with being feminine? Is it because before, you were doing what women are generally encouraged to do, but now you can frame it as independently choosing it for yourself instead? And why does "presenting as a girl" mean presenting femininely to you? Do you think girls and women are inherently feminine? Why does it make you uncomfortable to be perceived as a woman? Maybe it has something to do with the way women and girls are devalued in society? I don't quite get what you're going for here, because if you're female and dressing typically feminine, everyone is perceiving you as a woman anyway. I'm not even trying to be a dick, I genuinely don't get it. I'd love if you could elaborate more on this.

Either way, thanks for stopping by and giving me some insight into your thought process.

[phrog-gods]

It’s midnight, so my brain very well cannot be trusted. However, I’ve got a burning question and this hellsite is the first place I could think of to get an answer.

How do I tell for sure if I’m trans?? (ftm)

Im under 20 if that’s important. I’ve always been the “tomboy” kid in the class. I’ve felt more camaraderie with guy classmates historically and tend to lean towards the shenanigans and methods of communication and argument-solving that guys do, but that doesn’t mean I’m trans??

I’ve felt a weird inability to relate between myself and a lot of my cis-female classmates, but that could just be the ADHD/autism??

I don’t think I have any serious body dysmorphia beyond wanting to be a little slimmer. I’m already small in the chest area, but I don’t think I would particularly mind being rid of my chest for good. I know that I dont really want a dick though.

I feel weird when my parents call me their “daughter” or when my siblings use the word “sister”. “Brother” or “Son” would honestly be preferable, but even “child” or “sibling” is really nice.

I wanna cut my hair but I’m a bit afraid of how I’ll look or if I’ll like what I see. But I haven’t worn a dress in years for the same reason. Maybe I’m just a feminine-adjacent blob? Not quite “girl” but not exactly “boy” either. And being called non-binary or using they/them also feels like it doesn’t fit.

Idk, maybe this is just the ramblings of my sleep-addled mind. I’m not in an unsafe household or environment or anything, the worst that could happen is my parents not understanding but acclimating regardless.

Any advice would be appreciated regardless though.

[transfem-hypnokitty3]

Some of you might think im just a dumb sex obsessed little bimbo doll. Well i am. Youre following a pervert.

This is a 18+ blog. If you are a minor please don’t follow me. I know we all have sexual feelings, I certainly did, but the law is clear.

You will be blocked if you don’t have your age and gender in your bio, if you have a blank bio, if you are a homophobe, transphobe, racist, or just generally hateful.

Transgirl dick Pics! You can send them! Cis girl Noods! You can send them! Cis guys keep your junk to yourself!

I'm a really subby girl, but can be both switch and vers when it comes to trans, femboys, and cis girls. Basically I'm a submissive service bottom, except for when I'm being a submissive service top. I can try to be dominant, but it just doesn't work very well for me. I also have a girlfriend. Its complicated, she knows I am on here, but doesn't like me interacting when we are together.

I am not a sissy and this isn’t a sissy blog

What I am into.

I'm really submissive, my gf is basically my dom except she isn't. I cook, clean, and do all the domestic stuff for her. Also you know, all the sex stuff when she wants it, which isn't often enough for me.

my kinks are all about submitting, so all the usuall stuff that goes with that.

Things I love on this blog <3

Hypno!!!!!

CNC

Bimbofication

Dumbification

Sluttification

B*mbi Sl**p

Teasing

Denial

Edging

Sending Spirals/Hypno links in asks (anon or not)

Sending triggers/horny messgaes in asks (anon or not)

Being giving commands in asks (anon or not)

What I'm not into

transpobes, homophobes, racisists, p3dos/MAP, hate, alpha male, patriarchy, misoginy, detrans

scat, vomit, blood

pain, cutting, extreme bondage

rape, age play, race play, SA, incest, dd/lg, md/lg

DMs and Asks are open so please interact with me.

NSFW ASKS

Click the link above for NSFT Questions

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

ok ngl i sent you several asks now but im pretty sure you're the reason why i've accepted that i am actually a guy with a pussy (i just had a mini breakdown abt that today and i found your blog like. a day or so before?)

(and tbh i do like being a girl but sometimes im just. not. and i dont have to force myself :) also. i love that you dont like transmasc hcs bc same lmao i thought i was like. transphobic but no. there's something going on here but it's not bigotry idk ig it just hits too close for me?)

I’m blinking at you like a stunned owl right now. Congratulations man I’m glad I could’ve helped in some way :] this is such a crazy ask to wake up to LOL (sorry if I’m not too eloquent, it’s buttfuck o clock in the morning but I thought I’d answer this as quick as I could)

You really don’t have to force yourself. I think every trans person has a complicated and deeply personal relationship to gender and at the end of the day it’s whatever makes you happiest, at least to me. Personally, my conception of my own gender fluctuates; presentation and androgyny are strong influences on how I feel; transmasc and genderfluid are just the simplest (and thus most useful for my purposes) labels even if they’re not 100% correct for me. Queerness is one of those things that can be hard to catch by the ankle and wrestle into a label. Although for some people it is! Not to be wishy washy but it’s all different.

Anyway. I didn’t talk at length about why I don’t really fuck with transmasc headcanons (I’d rather not get accused of transphobia on tumblr) but it’s really just that transmasculinity is my real actual life. A lot of my life already centers transness by default, which is not, you know, a bad thing. It’s just how it is. And again I have a complicated relationship with gender.

So while I’m a firm believer that other people should make their paper dolls look and fuck how they want, my paper dolls will almost always be cis guys. Something about the fantasy of having a dick, something about me personally finding dick on dick action hot (points at myself. fujoshi.) something about not wanting to write about all the intricacies of transness and worry about if I’m “portraying it correctly” or “representing the community well”…it’s too much and quite frankly I’m an erotica writer having too much fun on the internet, and that’s how I like it. A mutual described all that as “the politics of pussy” and that sums up the aversion I have to writing about transmasculinity when I write for kicks and giggles. I want to do it “right” even if I simultaneously hold the belief that there’s no “right” way to write most things and that kind of cognitive gymnastics is tiring.

As always I have exceptions. You’ll find at least a couple works on my ao3 that feature explicitly transmasc characters or are vague about the sex of the characters on purpose. This is either because someone paid me to write those (which is not a dig, I wouldn’t have accepted the commission if I didn’t want to!) or because I was just in the mood to write trans porn, lmao. It’s difficult to be specific about What Exact Flavor of Transmasc is the kind I’m willing to create or eat on the internet, which a. kills nuance and b. isn’t obligated to cater to me specifically.

Trans erotica played a large part in helping me accept myself and my sexuality as a trans person. Trans headcanon also tends to be close enough to home that engaging with it 80% of the time is not fun. I think, too, that headcanon doesn’t reflect your beliefs as a person; what matters is how you treat real actual people.

But yeah, sorry for going on for so long. I have terminal yapper disease LOL. Congratulations on the realization and I’m sorry about the breakdown, hope things get clearer and easier for you in the coming days :]

[centi-pedve]

Little rant feel free to ignore. Im a bottom leaning switch tguy and I think top tguys are sooo hot I want more fics where theres two tguys and one of them is a top. People are so scared of tguys topping and it’s transandrophobia plain and simple, but they also fetishize bottoms because boypussy uwu (UGH). Also did you know sometimes bottom growth is large enough for penetration, they sure as hell don’t tell you that when you start T. Trans men have the biggest dicks of them all and it scares cis people and non transmascs so bad they have to erase us. Even when we don’t have physical dicks (which is up for debate) our psychological dick is bigger ykwim. Plus strap you can pick any size and color

for reaalll top tguys make the world go round. can't wait for that bottom growth swag to be honest we'd become so annoying. though we shouldn't be trusted with the ability to penetrate we gotta wait to start hrt until after marriage slash jay.

gonna start rambling tbh we'd also love to see all those tropes people use on cisdude tops used on tdude tops as well like heavily into the idea of a rich "daddy dom" type transguy who will fuck you crazy style and then be the most emotionally distant dude the next day. sleazy perverse transdudes... transdudes who are the only top in a polycule... that shy insecure girl you met in highschool who always hung around the library wearing too-big hoodies? he's a bear now, the life of the party, and impossible to resist when he starts hitting on you. there's sooo much you can do with tdudes because tdudes are hot as hell and they don't need to be treated like women-lite to be hot in erotic art. its so crazy people cannot comprehend this like when we dated cis men regularly they could not stop fantasizing about getting fucked by our future tdick. we've experienced that multiple times and yet we havent seen such a dynamic in writing or art like ever.

trans men deserve to get they cock out but the world just isnt ready cuz tdick just too powerful... anon we should start blowing people up together

[stealthrockdamage]

Im a recently out transfem-identify more with non-binary then outright girl- and I recently borrowed a dress from a friend to go to a party in. Party has come and gone it was great but I've found myself wanting to wear the dress again every day. When I do put it on however I get super hard for like 10 minutes at first. It's like kind of weird like it feels like potentially invalidating?? If that makes sense?? Like what if this is like a fetish for me and I'm not fully trans in some way. Idk I experience dysphoria and etc that's why I started doing this in the first place but it's like idk idk.. just

im not the person to ask about this because i dress like power from chainsaw man but i have heard of this and it seems normal and harmless. i mean. dicks love to get hard. its like their favourite thing. im sure a dick owner knows how irritating it can be. what you shouldn't be asking yourself is "does this make this whole thing a fetish just bc i got hard when i put on a dress." what u should be asking yourself is if you feel comfortable existing the way you do. it sounds like the party was nice and chill. isn't that really all you need? i get that terfs are out here saying a lot of bullshit about us like 24/7 but you gotta ignore em. they dont know shit lol! people who say that an erection is always a sign of arousal are just not putting in the effort to understand what theyre talking about. also also: so fucking what if it IS an arousal thing? transfems are allowed to possess libido. i've waved my magic wand that creates axiomatic universal laws to add that to the list. go live your life. im not a cop. yknow like it's not a crime to put on a nice outfit and be like hey im hot. nice. cis people do that shit too! it's nice to feel desirable! go figure. it doesn't make you agp. that shits not real. buffalo bill is not real. you get me?