#im deceased thats hilarious

[silverskye13]

Does the colosseum have a policy for if a helsmet is summoned by their hermit during a match? (Ie: Helsknight gets particularly heated during one and Wels calls him out of it thinking he's being valiant only to leave the colosseum full of people without a show.) Or would this issue be unique to him with no other members having had that issue before?

You know, they probably don't have a contingency for that. Which seems like a massive oversight on the part of whoever the safety board is. I doubt its come up?

I do like the implication that Helsknight could lose his temper so wildly that the whole Colosseum pulses black and he's just gone. Get evaporated idiot. It would be such a major break in script but you know the crowd would think it's some awesome plot point to be explored later -- especially if whoever he was mad at recovered well.

[richardsphere]

Leverage Log: The Broken Wing Job

So this season's possible fourth episode whose title may be indicitive of an aircraft theme. (DB Cooper, First Contact, Very Big Bird being the others).

Look when they started shooting in a city that, aparently has an airplane museum. Using more plane-related sets makes sense logistically and financially. Playing with the opportunities provided there. Nonetheless, I hope very much it isnt aircraft themed. Maybe the broken wing just refers to like, an actual injury instead?

Maybe the client finds an injured bird, or its a metaphor being "grounded" by an injury? Like maybe this is one of those "1 teammate is stuck at home" episodes, like the one where Hardison overslept because of WOW. (that one had an aircraft too now that I think about it.) My metaphorical money is on "client was grounded, and the plan is to ground the Mark". But I guess we'll see. --- Cold open features the Crew. Thats odd. (i know technically the DB Cooper one also featured Parker. But she was wearing a mask so it could be a dramatic reveal. This one just goes right out and shows Nate frame 1)

Parker's got a bad leg. Wing identified and the crowd goes wild!!! Unfortunately "someone's stuck at home cause injury" is one of my least favourite types of excuse for a bottle episode. (which is usually the doylist reason such a plot is written.) I mean they can be funny, but they tend to overstay their welcome. Either that or everyone's schedules were just very busy for a month or two so they got them all together in a hallway in a hotel for 1 scene and paid Riesgraaf overtime. But these types of episodes are usually Budget or Scheduling motivated is what im saying. --- Quick google says an ACL is one of the ligaments in the knee. Parker better listen to Hardison or the next thing she'll be stealing is Archie's Cane. --- Episode introduces us to the Brewery Staff with a little get-well-soon bear. So it might actually just be an excuse plot to introduce us to a secondary/tertiary cast of characters for the season. (8 episodes into a 15 episode season is perhaps a bit late to do that.) --- Ok so we have a bunch of subplots couple where the girl thinks the boy is cheating. (my bet: Secretly planning to propose or something, hence being away more often for badly explained reasons.) Romeo and Juliet, (end up together, hopefully without double-suicides) "chicken Parm Jerk" who always orders the same thing, takes a single bite and sends it back. (Thats a verry specific behavioural patern. Feels very "Anton Ego" "if i do not love it, I do not swallow". Probably a secretly sympathetic backstory. "Loved it growing up, but it never tastes like Mothers Recipe" sort of deal) V&K, probably the episodes dedicated marks, (very pushy and specific about having the window seat. My bet is they're watchers/lookers for a gang. Either that or casing the security at whatever building is across the street) So they offer 4 coffees, and V (i think its V) takes 2 coffees outside. That means they have cohorts outside. Parker's anger that Hardison didnt wiretap the shit out of their lair-front is hilarious. --- Avoiding eye contact with Amy specifically. (I dont think i saw them lift their hand to block sightlines when they were getting served by another server earlier in the episode when they got the 4 coffees.) Amy's dad wants her to "inherit the family business", a business that is apparantly broad enough that "what is the family business" gets answered with "what isn't the family business". Amy's dad is a large corporate mogul and she's a valuable potential hostage. They're not casing the building across the road, they're casing Amy. Writers thought they could trick me with a feint but im onto them! --- V is smarter then K, (or at least more experienced) Professor Parmesan is fiddling with a thing on his finger (probably a ring, but i cant see it probably). Loved the recipe as made by a deceased wife, not a dead mom. --- Camera zoom in on the map. (IRL security camera's dont work that way. They tend to be shitty. But knowing Hardison and the importance of keeping this multi-billion dollar stock-manipulation enterprise afloat, he'd have sprung for actually good camera's and extra large storage servers. So im gonna say this is one case where the "enhanced zoom" is justified) --- Ok you're telling me that Hardison, in an attempt to set up a place where no cops or FBI would ever show up even by accident placed their front-operation across from a pawnshop full of potentially valuable antiques, a bank and a fucking jeweler. Are the writers fucking kidding with this? Like putting it across from one of these 3 would be a stretch given Hardisons goals in aquiring the Brewpub, putting it on a crossroads with all of these is character assasination on the writers part.

Hardison would not have bought a brewpub located at this crossroad. --- Amy getting really sus of Parker (who she knew was in a French prison) knowing so much about the psychology of a robbery.

"Okay i've got to ask, Is any of this illegal" --- Sid might actually be cheating. (sucks). But i guess Parker's gonna send that picture to his girlfriend. Romeo and Juliet both play the violin,

Parmesan is a doctor. 2 coffees with a tracker, trying to find "O" (the numbers are unknown, but my bet is on time, based on them all being multiples of 5, not one of the second digits being above a 6. I assume the leading 000 is to disguise the nature of the numbers) --- Oh, America aparently has special licensed plates for disabled people. Good to know. Also Parker has leveled up her Social Awareness enough that she now realises that telling Amy how she recognised it was definitly a getaway vehicle would be bad.

"you know what to do and I know how to walk... no offense." Great line 7/10. (cant really go higher then that on a line with no overall importance. Still its a good line) --- Amy's reaction to inadvertantly telling her Employers Girlfriend they've been lazy. (Good for her this entire thing is a front. You'd literally keep your job without customers) ---

Ah the good ol "Watson you're a genius!" trope, (its a classic. I love it.)

Oh no, is she setting Romeo and Juliet up with people who arent cheat and the ex. (which means something? I suspect cops like in the Bottle Job)

--- Oh V using the glass as a mirror, cunning. --- And the kidnapping gone wrong is underway. Dates were cops, Doctor Parmesan is a badass.

V spots the camera's. ---

Parkers beats the guy single-handed (or more like single-legged). Dr. Parmesan is gonna find a new food, one that can bring him joy instead of grief.

Zombie Movienight.

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Building off that one anon - Virgil only uses *pet names* in public for his loves(my love, dearheart, specific ones like my Wren and my Seelie and my Witch, etc) which results in a) LMP being super flustered like 95% of the time theyre in public and b) Hilarious Situations where he will say "Love will you please hand me that?" and they will all reach for it in a moment of confusion

shar im fucking DECEASED thats ADORABLE

[fart-gate]

SGA

Season 5 episode 18

Notes by me

- a mystery lady! Pls tell me whats going on

- mystery lady is just as confused as I am I guess

- we are in this together mystery lady

- and shes stabby too!!! What the fuck

- hey just fyi if radek dies I'll riot

- body swap!!!! Shes in kellers body!!!!

- Paul is in the credits! You know what that means! My boy Carson in da HOUSE

- getting rid of the evidence I see. Youve murdered before, mystery lady....

- Rodney uuhhhh watch yourself pls

- back off bitch hes precious

- hahah pls dont kill zelenka. Looking at you, writers

- worried!Rodney

- someone pls notice this lady is a murderer

- oh thank god. Its ok everyone radek is fine

- carsons due back(from earth I think?) Yayyy!!!

- Woolsey gets serious when one of his kids gets hurt

- hi hello im sorry WHAT the hell was Ronons pose when the door opened

- is he trying out for Sexiest Man Of The Year Magazine or what

- also this outfit? He said man whore rights

- ......can he tell its not keller

- girl you are SO OBVIOUS

- rodneys face :(

- CARSON!!!!! hello babe its been a hot minute how are you

- this lady acts so different like how can nobody tell its not keller

- youre on thin ice mystery lady get out of my jumper

- watch it Rodney shes got a gun

- haha only Rodney can make Sexy Talk awkward

- AND BODY GUARD RONON IS MAKING MY HEART RACE AS USUAL. Hes back ladies and gentlemen and I am deceased

- I just love that little flinching thing that rodney does when he pulls his arms closer to his chest and scrunches his shoulders. David bringing me only the best acting

- the monitor showing keller but the camera showing mystery lady 👌🔥

- OBSESSED with how good pauls Scottish accent is I mean??? The mans a legend

- she was digging thru artifacts. Maybe shes an archeologist?

- WOW I was way off. Shout out to all the common thieves out there

- OH MY GOD is that the body transfer device from SG1?!?!?! the one Daniel and vala used!!!!!! AAAHHHHH

- this means keller is??? In this ladies body???? Oh boy

- mention of Daniel and vala 💓

- oh she touched the device in rodneys lab! Thats why. Same thing happened to Jack in Daniels lab......people need to stop touching things in other peoples labs

- this is kinda bad bc last time this happened they couldnt stop the device so they chucked it into the kawoosh but not before it almost killed Daniel and vala.....

- "the question is.....wheres Dr. Keller?"

Lets fucking GOOOOO

- ah of course she told them about atlantis! As good as her "always tell the truth" strategy is, sometimes its a no no

- mystery lady is a serial killer apparently

- I mean I get why he wouldnt believe her......

- executed??? Shit!!!

- you cant shut it off guys!!! You have to BLOW IT UP

- I'm sorry did Rodney just try to call her "young lady" this woman is easily 36 like lmao wtf

- oh I love forest sets☺

- another jibe at Rodney for being "unbelievable that anyone would date him" 😒

- IN LOVE with how john just says "ronon" and he immediately knows what john wants

- its beheading time! #hopeyoudontneedthatnoggin

#I have to axe you a question...do you prefer to be buried with or without your head

- this shot of Rodney running thru the woods 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

- last second saved!

- but by who.....

- ah fuck

- do they know its keller?

- "alright, chewie, start tracking" CHEWIE

KILL ME IM SO IN LOVE

- awww they have a little thief fam

- hilarious that rodney and carson are the only ones out of breath

- when she bolts and Rodney immediately bumps into carson bc they both have zero coordination abilities

- RONON BEING 20 FEET IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

- "no tracks" she climbed a tree didnt she

- "ring" ? Ring transport?

- wow the murderous theives didnt believe her? Crazy

- "this Dr mckay.....you could do better"

LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UPPP

- welp there goes your thief friend

- when ronon runs 😤😤

- oh shit oh fuck. This lady seems like a dick so i dont care about her getting shot but thats kellers body

- doctor!Carson

- good to know atlantis has a reputation around the galaxy lmao

- if she goes back in her body she might die! Nobody is concerned about this?

- JOHN SAYS BLOW IT UP

- "what the hell did the other guys do??"

They tossed it into the kawoosh!

- or shoot it. That works too.

- lmfao ronon said "hold up" and pulled the trigger

- wait she died? He shot her

- no sign of her.....so she might not be dead....

- "hey you" ❤❤❤

- RADEK IS OKAY!!!!

- Carson wheeling radek out of the room so he doesnt have to deal with Rodney

- *swearing in czech*

- 🌟a picnic under the stars for my babies🌟

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “The Untamed” with Me!

Episode 6

oh its nighttime and mr nie huaisang is sneaking around

and doing special knocks

alkdjflaskdj he went to grab peanuts

i lvoe it theyre breaking clan rules arent they

he sounds like hes in love with it

me and jiang cheng share the same braincell

oh theyre arguing again :(

aklsdfj;laskdj hes really exposing his brother im screaming

aksdjfl;kasdjf;lkasjdflkasdfasdlfj;kasdkf he really just shows up

the lil fingies on the sleeve

the way that nie huaisang and jiang cheng just bolted im deceased

kings

oh my god wait

this is going to be him taking a sip and then passing out

isnt it

i love this so much

lmaksfjdapoiewhpueirah he just went *thunk*

hes such a lightweight im in love

the toss of his hair

hilarious

alsdkfjasl;kdfjasl;kdfj hes so dumbbb

omg hes so cute

i love the baby drunk

wait no stop being mean to the baby drunk

bro that is not his father.... yikes

oh commercials are evile

oh yikes

wei ying

you ... yikes

oh so thats why he doesnt like dogs

oh thats

the piano slaps

oh thats such a pretty teawhat

oh my god i would be so bad at using that

nobody knows nothing is what im getting out of this

we are getting all of the tea about this

omg

oh the babieeee

he just

flopped

i wonder how many times yibo cracked while filming this

hey now

whats the backstory with his mami???

i love that elder jade laughed and then was like wait what the fuck

oh im going to hate this next part no?

grounded

oh

oh shit

he just be saying things

dick

three hundred

jesus

i was right i hate this

elegant room mm im sure

aksdfj;lkasjd the siblingness

jiejie said i will make soup

al;ksdjflaksdjfthe sibling trio i love them

two weeks

waht the

jeeze

that is

mmmm humain rights issue

its nice to know that wwx is like his mami

what does

that meannnn

what does the beard thing mean??

oh wen qing sending back news about my son

commercial break :/

wh

ooohhh ok ok that explains the water spirits going a bit fucky

he doesnt look like hes in much pain now

alsdkfja;sldkfj hes just

so fun

flinging his lil boots off and everything

alskdfjal;sdkjf he jsut moves aside

i mean

like did you expect him to be all friendly and shit after you got him drunk and beat by his uncle?

im not liking this

there goes wwx

and there goes lz

oh shit what the fuck that cant be good for their bruises

oh i dontlike this

and the fog rolls in

thers an?????  alter???

really really not liking this

and he walks forward

hes like in a trance it seems

wei ying got yeeted

its so prettyyyy

oh that was so BUNNIES OMG

omg they got turned into rabbits

yooo cool trick

dope holy shit

yes that was about the sword returning

is this the super dope thing that lz used in like e2?

YOOOOOO THE EFFECTS IN THAT HOLY SHIT

commercials e.e

that was so pretty

thats such an oddly specific feature of lan clan

was

was it playing itself

her?

his mami?

this is

vageuly horrifing

well y��all are unfortunately gonna become real familiar with i soon

oh shes so pretty

her outfit is gorgeous

about?

hhhhhhhh

aljflkasdjf “youve got a big storm coming”

the lan sect grounds are extensive and pretty

is jiejie okay?

and break his legs

okay me too

jiejie what are you doing

oh no JIEJIE

ugh this guy

take your hands off my wife

i mean if y’all are already engaged to be married why act like this?

aldsfkjasldkj lan zhan said BUNNY BUNNY BUNNY BUNBUNBUN

is she a spirit?

so shes alive but faked her death to live in a cold cave and raise rabbits?

incredible of her honestly

oh thats

thats the yin tiger seal thing isnt it?

oh no lan yi is on her way out i think

oh jesus dude thats ummm

as the youth say

fucked up

rat man

the black tortoise of slaughter

thats probably very apt

i mean like....that was the logical next step

ohhh the burial mounds that we saw earlier

its impossible to fcleanseit of all of that resentment

wow that guy was fucked up on something

ugh commercials i hate you

oh damn wei ying and lan yi *handshake emoji* thinking the same thoughts

yeah like its so unflexible ???

oh wow

let her down?

isnt that wwx’s mami that shes talking about

a cold pool that never freezes thats p dope

this is foreshadowing isnt it

to what wwx path will be

oh flashback time i hate but love

literally her outfit slaps so hard

the rogue cultivator is not having it

huge disaster?

oh yikes

ma’am

MA’AM

THATS BLOOD MA’AM

i dont know what this is trying to

oh okay

holy shit

ma’am

thats

damn

wow thats heavy like yeah

i would end the episode here too

so thats the end of this episode

i LOVE the amount of backstory we’re getting which like i know that we are going back to wei ying’s life 16 years ago but still

anyways thank you for reading!!!

stay safe and stay healthy <333

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#1)

Right, monkey brain said no sleep no rest, only suffering at the hands of med.

I am going to start with the first episode of S2: Soul Care. Reasoning? I need to check if Latham references Ava in his first interaction with Connor.

If my memory serves me right, when Connor is passed over to Latham for his fellowship, Latham says that he was not his first choice. In fact, his first choice was a brilliant surgeon from South Africa. In the first episode of S2, a season where Ava Bekker is only introduced with one line at the end of the last episode.

If I remember correctly and Latham does actually say that in the first ep of s2, it will be huge for the continuity (and my theory that I came up with today, if you’re interested in following this you should really read that really long post that came a little before this where the basis of the theory is laid out). 

Also in rewatching this I see more of Sarah which, again, I have not seen in two years, and she was the reason I became invested in the show, and the reason I stopped watching after she left.

And all of this even before I start the episode.

There are so many emotions and thoughts running through my brain it literally hurts. I think i’m getting a headache. I’m already really regretting this, this cannot be healthy for me.

(btw, this will basically be a train of thought type thing, I’ll do my best to keep it coherent)

- omg its starting

- i completely forgot how s1 ended but its not importnat in anyway

- just, why are they in a helicopter

- how fast does the episode move ive forgotten and i need to know

-JESUS CHRIST SO DRAMATIC

- THE BEGINNING WITH WILL WHY

- it is at this point where I apologize to all those who made it this far bc we’re literally not even 30 seconds in yet

- i just have a lot of med thoughts

- oh god save me

- i am laughing hysterically

- JESUS CHRIST THE APRIL TB STORYLINE AND TATE WTF

- god that feels like a lifetime ago it was relevant holyshit

-remember when she was pregnant?

- literally what have I missed

- side note, i really like the cup april drinks out of.

-THERE SHE IS

-SARAH

-SHE’S HERE

-and she’s a barista

-literally wtf is this show

-and the dramatic music is still going literally chill man god

-THE WAY SARAH SMILES HOLY SHITTTT come on man there was literally no way i’d survive this but fuck not even a minute in...

- okay but i never understood charles’ family scenario but this is already too fucking long for a minute in so i hope we can just skip past that

-hahahah sharon’s fucking divorce? holy shit, this is too dramatic for the first ep literally save me (at least she acts well)

-yeah the one thing I will say about med (thats a lie ive already said a hundred but yk) is that for the crap storylines and all, the actors take what they’re given and give it their all and i appreciate it so much

-the helicopter’s number is N365UCC and just... succ

-ethans bird (!)

-also the fact that’s so big for ethan to be chief resident is so weird to me. like the last medical drama I watched was greys and they are all like grizzled veterans and have been doing that stuff for actual decades and i tend to put med and greys on like the same level bc they are the only medical dramas ive watched but.. holy crap the people on med are so young?? half their main cast is med students and residents. when nearly every main character on greys is a department head. its wild.

-proud of ethan. proud of my boy (did you know that adam jacobs who played aladdin on broadway was in a s3 episode? fun facts) (fun fact: did you know that ava is the only main character on the show who’s status is now deceased? I’ll shut up now.)

-oh my god i say roland buck III’s name and GOD noah jesus

- i find noah incredibly annoying, especially bc he tries to overshadow reese (my fav) but also just bc hes spoiled [that thing that said that one of the biggest mistakes med made was not having sarah get the emergency med residency at the end of s1 comes to mine, and the fact that noah got his residency easy peasy] - but, i will say that the moment at the end of this season where noah and reese dance together at the party is very adorable. (pre reesker brain showing lmao I really did love sarah with my whole heart) (moreover my snapchat memories were filled with just recordings of reese scenes lmaooooo)

-okay at this point I need to stop once i get to the potential ava thing bc what is happening we’re not even two minutes in why is this so long. (so many thoughts)

- i find will annoying but,,, he is kind of nice to look at. and what i mean is like facial acting (i am a lesbian). like. just. don’t speak. and when he’s being a good character he’s fine. it’s very few and very far between ig

-natalie annoys me so much and shes only had one line, and it wasn’t even a character line, it was mainly exposition.

-EW

-FUCKING EW

-ITS CONNOR HE’S HERE. god i forgot what he looked like in red scrubs and his poofy hair. child compared to s3 and s4. hopefully we see latham soon so we all don’t have to suffer through this. and he looks so angsty. he definetly glowed up in the later seasons.

- i have no clue how to spell definetly. I am guessing literally everytime.

-latham please come and end this all.

-oh haha there’s downey hes dead.

-okay so i actually watched s1 after i watched s2 which is so weird to think about. like that means that i liked s2 so much that i BOUGHT THE DVD FOR S1. yeah. I liked it that much (it really only means I was that much of a simp for sarah). but it also means that technically i watched s1 after i met ava?? like i honestly had NO CLUE what was in my future. did young me ever think she was going to stay up late at night, avoiding history hw while analyzing a defunct character from this show on a whim? a character i was super annoyed with at the beginning? who has no become a huge part of my personality? honestly? no. no she did not.

-and the story with downey was so jarring. and the story with zanetti. like i think i first started watching with the first ep of s2 (the one im talking about rn) and i was a bit lost. so going back and watch s1 to like connect the dots. but i never expected the dots to look like that. its like each season of this show is a completely different show from all the other seasons. like i’ve said before, this show is a headache. but literally latham please come and end this for now.

-GOD CONNOR LOOKS SO YOUNG WHAT THE HELL thats so weird lmaooooo

- like i had absolutely no clue who downey was going into this. and they they started talking like ‘oh yeah he killed his attending’ and i was just like ‘damn bro ill cheers to that’

- that’s literally ava’s first line actually. “i heard your girlfriend went insane and you murdered your attending.” - which was why she was hated at first. that was literally her first line to connor which is like, so hilariously rude that it was instantly iconic.

-also HAHAHAHAH CUE FUCKING ANGST ABOUT CONNOR HURTING EVERYONE AROUND HIM WTF BRO THE EFFECT YOU HAVE ON PEOPLE

- but i’m also sad now. --- “I heard your girlfriend went insane.” Oh. Oh, sweetie. Ava... No. --- but why does s2 ava (all two lines) foreshadow s4 ava in so many ways. like literally what were the writers on.

-baghdad.

-ah yes. the return of baghdad. been a long time since i heard that one, but it is easily one of my favorite running things about med. its just a little detail but the nick name is like perfect. (when i read fanfic where the chars are actually doing doctor stuff in the hospital it makes me light up) the WORLD BUILDINGGGGG. but whatever

-this is the girl who has the fake baby right? that was a really good ep (bc sarah content. can you see my favorites? for the same reason the one where the girl has split personalities easily ranks high with me.) oh wait this is the one where the dad like dies but then comes back for a split second to see his grand child. there’s not really a lot I can say about that, but the fact that i remember it vividly is... weird.

-okay but I actually love the ED in this show. I love how the show is centered around the ED and not the OR like greys. its fast paced, you see a lot about the characters really quickly (one of the reason’s connor’s intro to the hospital in the pilot is certified iconic in my mind [his interactions with will are gold]). the team works well together (usually, when things are good. - which is another reason I hated the show more as time went on. The personal lives interfered more and more and more with their work as time went on. it got so annoying). but like right here will just calls maggies name and maggie is just On It. I love it. I love the fast pace. it’s why this show got me to come back. so many things happen, it overloads my brain, like the way a video game works y occupying all of your attention.

-when is the dad gonna pass out i’m just waiting

-AHAHAHAHAHA JEFF NOOOOO. what even was the deal with jeff that storyline annoyed me so much I never got it. he was friends with nat’s husband (who died) and they were both named Jeff? and she actually ended up getting with Jeff a few times?

- the more you watch med and see how the characters get with each other, the more jaded you become

-omg they’re transferring the girl to the bed i love it when they count

-maggie was great but from what i heard/read they ruined her character too??? just not the same

-lmao only real g’s remember the chicago fire backdoor med pilot (if you want an explanation ask me lmao it was a ride)

- i was a real med simp bc I bought that episode on apple video.

-ahahaha this is so stupid. Jeff tries to do things and Will (being a fucking asshole and jealous, doesnt’ let him). he’s a med student let him fucking learn. also i remember why i hated will

-okay but if you look at greys vs. med, greys literally gives their med students no rights. scratch that. they give they’re interns little to no rights. (i only watched the last three seasons bc lesbian, but in those seasons they introduce the bottom of the totem pole, the sub I’s, who are a step ahead of med students, yet they are jokes on the show.) its just a weird juxtaposition is all.

-”lungs are wet.” dramatic music intensifies.

-OKAY BUT I LITERALLY FORGOT NATALIE SPECIALIZED IN PEDS. LIKE I COMPLETELY 100% FORGOT. HOLY SHIT THATS SO FUNNY i can’t believe in my mass hyperfixation i forgot, just more proof that she doesn’t deserve anything.

-why did will make nat do that call? also idk why but is it weird to anyone else when the characters call each other but just.. their names.

-ahahahah i laugh literally everytime i remember that will is supposed to be in charge like he is threatened by anything that MOVES. (also more juxtapositon to greys bc here the attendings are treated as a joke!)

- hly shit i just remember monday mourning and god damn the angst literally never takes a day off but whatever.

- i dont usually get like this but the dad’s acting here is actually making me sad lol. Usually i get annoyed when family members get emotional (im weird uhhhh)

-why did we have to watch the tube being put in for so long - med is so dramatic this fucking show whyyyy

- i bet u the dad is gonna pass out

-oh ig not oops

-OKAY FUCK ME THAT LITERALLY ONLY TOOK US TO THE TITLES HOW DO I HAVE THESE MANY FUCKING THOUGHTS.

-wait latham introduction we may just be able to call it here.

-haha i fucking hate him (connor). he just... comes off so fake-charming its annoying. i cant get over it lmao

-okay but literally every gives connor shit and I am here for it. Latham: “did you kill him?”

- it is literally so funny but annoy how connor throws hands with literally everyone in his path (like dude just chill come onnn)

-okay. okay. okay. finally the part i was waiting for.

- Latham: I preferred a young woman from Groote Schuur, but I was outvoted.

That’s an actual quote, from Latham. For those who are wondering, Groote Schuur is a famous hospital in, you guessed it, South Africa. This is where I’m calling the episode. This is all I needed.

I just want to restate. This is the first episode of season 2. Ava Bekker is introduced to the show in the last episode of season 2. What does this mean, my friends? It means everything.

For those of you who stuck through to the end, I am very thankful. Here we have probably the first piece of evidence to my theory, at least chronologically.

I, personally, think it’s absurd I remembered this point, but I did. That point, that line, presently, watching this episode with no idea of what the future holds, is only there to tell us that Latham and Connor are not going to agree. But this is the single greatest piece of foreshadowing med has ever done.

Med has never planned anything. I feel confident when I say that. Look at their storylines. They are literally on fire, and every decision the characters make reads like the writers going ‘we have no idea how we made it this far, we thought we would get stopped like ten steps ago.’

When has med ever planned things more than a few episodes in advanced, honestly? Almost never, and going a full season sitting on a plot point, that’s major. This was the first time med has ever planned something miles in advance.

In all honestly, yes I am probably giving the med writers a lot more credit than they deserve. It’s quite possible that as the season progressed they just decided connor needed a new love interest or at least a new dynamic, so they could have just easily looked back and thought ‘oh, hey, here’s a fun little thing we said earlier in the season, wouldn’t it be fun if it paid off?’ That could be true.

Here’s why it probably isn’t. The med writers have no respect for their own continuity. you really think that, in order to come up with a whole new character, they went back to the first episode of the season and paid off a line that is said in less than 2 seconds? no way. Bull. Shit.

honestly, it is probably equally unlikely that either of these things happened. The med writers don’t look back at their story. It’s true, but they also don’t plan things in advance either.

here’s the thing, the more i write, the more absurd it starts to sound. Yeah. Sure. the med writers sat on a character for an entire season, that’s totally a thing that happened and not sarcasm. When pigs fly. everyone knows med is impulsive and messy. But what I am saying is that they planned one thing. One thing.

Ava has an accent. That was a commitment. A pretty uncommon one too. South Africa is such an out of the box choice that god its barely on the map. It asks a lot of someone to act hard while also doing an uncommon accent. If the med writers just decided they needed to give connor a new dynamic, they could have made it a n y o n e. Yeah, sure it would have been nice to have the latham dynamic with the new character, but it would have been so much easier to just create a new character that doesn’t have such a commitment. We all know people who play opposite of Connor Rhodes do not stay around that long.

There is absolutely no reason Connor’s s3 love interest had to be the girl from South Africa. It could have literally been anyone. They could have kept Robin on. They could have made the new character not have so many specific requirements.

At this point, I’m pushing this really hard. Yeah, obviously Ava was planned from the beginning of s2. She had to be. It’s way too specific to be anything else.

What I’m pointing out here is med has never done that before. (at least to my knowledge, if i’m wrong please tell me i don’t want to be a fool) They have never had such a concrete plan for a character, so much as to tease them a full season before they were introduced.

I’m saying, that Ava was special. She was the only character who was teased ahead of her arrival. The one who they knew they wanted, other than the originals, and honestly saying the ‘knew what they wanted to do with the originals’ is being generous. But Ava was different. They had big plans for Ava.

It’s undeniable. Ava was the only character who was planned and teased ahead of her arrival. Ava has such a different style and character than anyone else on the show. She was always planned to be, even when she was just being teased, a rival to connor, meaning she could stand her own against him (or without him).

Now of course, the med writers forgot this when writing s4 and s5. But for the purposes of the important things, all that really matters are the two mentions in s2, and what happens in s3. (for the theory at least).

In conclusion: think about how odd it is that Ava was the only character that was planned over the course of the show. Like sure the characters are planned, but never this far in advance. Med writers don’t really plan anything. I would be shocked if they did anything but through a dart at a spinning wheel. But they had plans for Ava, and they had plans for s3, when she was good.

Think about how odd it is that the med writers had a character planned from the start of s2, that they sat on for a whole season. They never, ever did something so slow and deliberate. Never. It goes against their formula. Like a fucking shark, they have to be moving or they die, at least in their heads. But Ava was always a change to the formula. They had a plan for s3.

that’s it for now. we will see what happens when i watch the last episode of s2.

read the next parts:

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[edge-lorde]

well ive been back at home for a few days now. strange, its like i never left. 

my mothers church held a funeral recently and my mother was tasked with bringing desserts. she made two recipes she found in the newspaper: pecan cookie bars cut into thin slices and cupcake sized mini cheesecakes. as always, she made extra of both for us to eat at home.

last night we had a little scuffle over eating the last little cheesecake. my father pointed out that there is more in the fridge 👀.

i turned and said to him, “that’s for the funeral! you would really steal a deadman’s cheesecake?!”

which my mother promptly wrote down on the recipe, to forever commemorate how hilariously funny i am should she ever make it again. 

the funeral was today and went as well as can be expected (i was not there). later tonight, my mother received a call from one of the church ladies asking for the recipes she had used. the caller was interested in the cheesecake and the deceased's daughter wanted the pecan bars. 

my mother of course agreed to send the recipes, and i was tasked with scanning them and emailing them out. first however, my mother was sure to cut out a sliver of blank newspaper to conceal the inscription clearly hand-written in ink that now read “DEADMAN’S CHEESECAKE” next to the real title. 

im unappreciated in my time UnU.

it is funny how easily we can all joke about death in my family, given that it wasnt that long ago that this same church through a very similar funeral service for my grandfather, my mothers father. 

guess thats just life, 

and death, 

and cheesecake.

[aqua-gem-in-eye]

"With an auspicious and a dropping eye, with mirth in funeral and with dirge in marriage" -Hamlet act 1 scene 2

So Hamlet right, I must have rewatched Hamlet (the Mel Gibson version, frankly about 5 times already... passed over the last week on the Hulus and will continue to do so because uuuhhh idk, maybe its that I've recognized that it is the adult version of The Lion King story but also I really think I love how prolific it is) Hamlet jr. not Hamlet the 👻 phantom or Danny phantom uh wrong show... the former Royal Dane deceased, rest in piece oh no but he can't because he did not recieve penance from a clergyman in his untimely, MURDEROUS death! Claudius you murderous bitch >:^0 Yes not that Hamlet but his predecessor baby Hamlet, like baby Jesus but with more vigor and spite. Hamlet. is. hilarious. here. (I can't get enough, its 🍠👈 hamalicous... think thats a yam 👀) suave precursor I got to say, I love Glenn Close, I love Helena Bonham Carter. I think they are what make the movie fantastic. Trust. look up the scenes with 👑 Queen Gertrude and Ophelia respectively and you'll see why ! The 1996 unabridged version is the more preferred version without precedent because it has the whole script inside of it hence the movie being 4. hrs. long. Nevertheless both are great, casting never failed to recant an epic tale on either end.

The quote I have up there meant a lot to me while revisiting the scene, so as not to equate the act of balking at the sight of seeing an incestuous impart of a heart's desire im going to consider that this was the Golden Ages of England where Arts 🎨 flourished and thespians 🃏 ran the streets like love infested 🐕puppies, the poor little damned men. oh and Theaters flourished too. >:^) Too many concepts, ideas, perceptions were elucidated. Out in the open came things to be discussed about, written about, accepted or dismantled. William Shakespeare I guess you're somewhat bearable. im joking omg bad joke he was a great man ?! So yeah technically one of the spouses is dead...oh define dead ? hm not today. This is also supposed to 🐝 the age of like chivalry but it's not because this script goes along the lines of people wanting instant gratification which is really more today's speed you know 2019 rise and grind (which is doing wonders for me because I'm literally waking up rising and grinding !!! my teeth you fools, pay me no mind. yay to the victorious 👏 round of applause, I love you, my babies who don't give up and if you do that's okay ! you have plenty of time to recover "the air bites shrewdly" you rest and eat from the berries 🍓 my angel) right so Hamlet after his encounter with the ghost ceaselessly bruised in his mind implies how noxious matters are in his kingdom. He says in a few lines about his mother Queen Gertrude, "pernicious woman" or "weak thy name is woman" not to say this all falls on the head of women. no no no. this is really about humanity not waiting around for the smoke to clear. Why is there smoke in the first place !? Do not adhere to that smoke ! I pick at phrases such as Young Wild & Free for examplar and whilst I do like what it can offer (picture me as a 🐴🐎 horse speedily running along the mounds and ranges of grass in a very rural and green place) to be Young Wild & Free in some regards I do lend myself to those ideals some... whilst being Young Wild & Free it's more like young... wild... and not so congruently free... a lot of things take a lot of processing and take a lot of pondering that leads to possible notions of true freedom. though are we free? Maybe covertly so but everything is backwards. Lest the quote goes I am mourning the decision to marry hastily to someone that is forbidden unto me and I celebrate in the funeral of my familiar who I cherished. bitch. what. the. fuck. If only you'd seen the snake in your garden Gertrude, now you are like them feeble and blind. No one is really 😇 innocuous in these situations, there is no good or bad just humans being humans. But you will be judged unconditionally. whether you think it is through God or a higher power, dang it their already a monarchy ! 🌎 Earthly or NOT from Earth 👽 all of it is temporal but the actions deliver resonance, they loom over for a time and then they don't, but then again, they might come back to set up camp, still there is significance in that. Its like exhuming the bodies of people who spectated the interactions around them, you know the ones you can pick out from literature and books, those people who took time to write it all down... maybe there are those who created their own monologue in their heads to justify the means on their own in secrecy (i mean yeah there are the deep thinkers but to know that they think deeply and that it may not ever be discovered or known the thoughts that they carried is fucking disheartening)... its almost catholic in a sense that you are on your lonesome stark at night or in daylight, twilight.... what have you! and your thoughts are finally your own. but with books and literature its boding to know that expressions can live longer than spoken words. yeah maybe they found solace in that. Mirth and dirge... how can both be mixed, how can both be intertwined in uncongenial components ? I don't understand it. If there is something still unresolved that ruminates in your heart make it salient that you find a resolve for you, by you. Good night sweet prince. Adieu ~

[sambuckyyrights]

;FALSETTOS ACT ONE REACTIONS: -Jesus Christ this is a masterpiece -ALL OF ANDREW RANNELLS’S FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. -Marvin is an abusive asshole in act one. when whizzer says “im not responsible” in “this had better come to a stop”, he looks terrified that Marvin will hurt him, and he seems so timid and that really struck me -“hepatitis hepatitis?” -HIS LITTLE NOD AT “will you be my valentine” OMG -“breaking down” is amazing and Stephanie deserved that tony SHE BELTED WITH A BANANA IN HER MOUTH! RBJ is great but she didn’t have a huge part, or any solo/major songs -“chess ain’t how your boyfriend thinks” is perfect -the games I play"… that’s my favorite song and andrew is perfect. he deserved that tony as well -lol during “march of the falsettos” my mom whispered to me “this is creepy, I’m scared” -WHIZZER IS PACKING HIS BAGS DURING “MAKING A HOME” AND MY HEART BROKE -“i never wanted to love you” is truly heart breaking . -I teared up during “father to son” bc it’s so pure ;FALSETTOS ACT TWO REACTIONS: -“falsettoland/about time” was amazing and so funny -“the baseball game” was hilarious lol my mom was laughing the whole time -again Anthony Rosenthals expressions were amazing -I loved “a day in falsettoland” and how Charlotte and Cordelia’s relationship is shown -“Everyone hates his parents” showed Jason and Mendels relationship and it was so cute -“what more can i say” had me tearing up (mostly bc i knew what was about to happen) -in “something bad is happening” you can see how worried charlotte is and i love that she truly cares for her patients. -in “more racquetball” WHIZZERS CLOTHES ARE A FEW SIZES UP TO SHOW HOW HE LOST WAIT I DIED -AFTER WHIZZER SAYS “IM SORRY” MARVIN IMMEDIATELY GOES INTO “ALL I WANT IS YOU” AND THATS WHEN I ACTUALLY STARTED TO CRY -holding onto the ground was absolutely beautiful. Stephanie is so talented and is able to show how frantic, for lack of a better word, Trina is feeling about the situation. -“Days like this” sounds so happy but i cried through it -“another miracle of Judaism” was so sweet bc you can see how much Jason cares for whizzer -“unlikely lovers” was soooo cute but so sad -“something bad is happening- reprise” killed me bc Marvin now knows that he is possibly going to die -“you gotta die sometime” is NOT what i expected. It sounds like it’s be a big performance but it’s really whizzer sitting in a chair with his eyes closed, imagining his death, and tears are pouring down his face. At this point I had to actively try to not make any noise while crying -“Jasons Bar Mitzvah” killed me. Whizzer has to try to discreetly wipe away tears when Jason walks in and that made me so sad. “Son of Marvin son of Trina son of Whizzer son of Mendel” is just…. I couldn’t handle it. Afterwards my mom said that that was when she really started to tear up (she never actually cried) and it’s just?? So important. AND MARVIN TELLING JASON HOW PROUD HE IS OMG. “thank you”. andrew whispered that so softly, and you could see Jason going through so many emotions as whizzer left the stage. -in “what would i do” Marvin is so heartbroken, and whizzer comes on stage in his original outfit, but in white (maybe to show he’s dead) and christians voice breaks on “we’re just gonna skip that stage” and so did my heart. -“falsettoland- reprise” is terribly heartbreaking. you can hear Marvin sobbing as he’s in the kind of group hug. AND THE FACT THAT WHIZZERS GRAVE IS PART OF THE CUBE AND BECAUSE OF THAT, THE CUBE CAN NEVER BE COMPLETE AGAIN OMG IM JUST REALIZING THIS RIGHT NOW IM SO SAD A+ JOB SET DESIGNERS WOW WHY IS A PIECE OF FOAM MAKING ME CRY? AND JASON PUTS A PIECE OF HIS CHESS SET ON THE GRAVE SO NOW A PART OF HIS CHESS GAME IS MISSING AND CANT BE USED IM DECEASED.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Trucy, you don’t need to take sides. There’s one side. The truth. And both Apollo and Phoenix are on that side.

They’re not at the same bench but they’re on the same team. It’s gonna be ok.

-

“I’m sorry too, little lady! this is all my fault..”

Oh so trucy gets an apology, but not Apollo? cool cool whatever 

-

Trucy, if Phoenix and Apollo become bitter enemies over a property dispute then they weren’t really all that close to begin with.

-

Dhurke: invalides trucy’s feelings while simultaneously spouting more of his Manly Man shit

-

“one minute we’re trading blows, and the next, we’re having drinks together”

well if that’s his mentality i can see why he thinks its ok do be an utter fuckwad to everyone

-

“We’re simple creatures at heart! Hah-hahahaha!”

yes... men are so simple at heart... they’re just a bunch of neanderthals... thanks Dhurke, truly you are the way to the future.

-

To be honest, I am glad that this is a civil case. When I first saw the publicity I was sure they’d made Phoenix a prosecutor for no reason and I was furious.

I’m not super glad at the way things turned out but at least the bullshit counter didn’t go into the red and explode.

Phew. I’m actually sighing in relief here. Maybe I can pretend what follows is all a friendly game or something.

-

Aww; poor Judgey’s confused :(

-

...they seriously don’t need to have a falling out to be on the opposite side of a courtroom. Lawyers face each other all the time. 

They don’t have to hate each other, they just have to keep things professional, otherwise they’d cause a conflict of interest. Like... it’s not ideal but tbh it’s more a danger to their clients than each other.

-

Y’know, I’m gonna dare to be optimistic here; as much as I hate this storyline and most people in it, this is actually an interesting and character-developing scenario.

Apollo has to face off against his mentor, the guy who... well I’d say Kristoph taught him all his tricks, but Phoenix was a sort of moral guiding force, I guess. Apollo standing up and holding his own against a superior is a legitimate way to show that he’s come into his own. Plus, since it’s not framed in a negative light (or at least, it shouldn’t be) it’s more impactful than phoenix being straight up evil since that would make it easy to take him down. This is a contest between two people who simply happen to be on opposite sides of the chess board. Again, it’s a pretty legit way to show Apollo’s growth.

...that said, I just wish it wasn’t happening after zero character build up and a heaping serving of bullshit. :T

Oh well. At least they got something right.

-

it is pretty hilarious how much they’re trying to up the drama though. it’s not that deep, guys

-

I guess Atishon just doesn’t have legs 

[snerk] his shitty speeches are actually kinda funny. ...if a little cliché.

-

...he’s standing... but I'm still not ruling out that he’s legless...

-

Tbh, even though Atishon is clearly lying, the fact that Datz basically threatened the orb out of Buff does make this kind of in their favour. 

-

...Apollo, don’t overcomplicate the case. All you have to do is prove that it’s not the crystal and you can have it. 

-

Reasons Apollo would make a good rebel: He doesn’t blab his rebelness all over the place for no reason.

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR MS. SKYE

nice ankles, ms skye.

-

“Ema..?”

“Use some manners, we’re in court”

thats not the way you acted the last time you were called as his witness :/

-

whoa seriously whats with the sudden crazy 180 for Ema? Yeah, she’s grumpy, but suddenly she’s acting like Apollo’s some rude little shit off the street. Why is she upset that he’s going up against Phoenix? Why does he need to apologize? JUST BEING ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE COUTROOM DOESN’T MAKE YOU ENEMIES.

or did the SOJ team forget the lessons we learned in the trilo–– oh who am i kidding they’ve never even laid eyes on those.

-

“You’ll never get the job done with that attitude. Take it from someone who’s been there” Been where???? Been where, Ema?????? what the fuck are you talking about what is going on 

-

haha the fey statue and the urn were ‘stolen’, huh? yeah. stolen from a better game.

-

pfft. So Buff’s some Kaitou Kid type, huh?

-

y’know ive been neglecting to mention it but have you noticed how much they skimp on animation compared to DD? DD had like 20 tiny animated cutscenes, and SOJ has one lame one at the beginning of each case to set it up. I can’t believe they even slashed the animation budget.

-

has anyone noticed how unfocused 3D phoenix looks. he looks like he’s just. staring out into space.

-

i love they don’t use gendered pronouns to refer to Buff’s kid. Remember the last time they did that? Mr. Andrews......

-

“I was shocked to see the urn that came from Kurain in Kurain”

anyway quit referencing actually good games, SOJ. Back to the shame corner for you.

-

oh COME ON. How do you steal a fucking wall relief?! 

and he really couldn’t just get a fucking permit? what the fuck is this

-

“but good intentions are no get-out-of-jail-free-card”

they are a sentence-lightening card, though! either way, this is one of the things i like most about AA. No matter how good your intentions were you still dont get away with cold-blooded murder. 

OR KIDNAPPING, AURA. HAVE FUN IN JAIL YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR LESBIAN REPRESENTATION.

-

every single theft of an artifact can be attributed to Dr. Buff. every single one.

-

alright, so we’re back to that whole ‘missing object report’. Thing is, unless there really IS a Crystal of Ami Fey, this wouldn’t work out. Atishon has to provide evidence that he owned the item, or that it existed in the first place. If this crystal turns out to be made up I’m gonna pitch a fuckin fit.

Don’t disappoint me, SOJ.

-

“Wimperson”

ah, SOJ, with all the comedic genius of a third-grader.

...to be fair i could say the same about Larry but i like larry and AA1. and it also plays into his phrase-thingy!

-

seriously. gimme pics of the crystal or we’re gonna have some serious problems.

-

“So how do you know this item is the thing he’s looking for”

“he said so”

THATS. NOT EVIDENCE. 

-

oh judge, your oldness never ceases to be to be enjoyable 

(that wasn’t sarcasm btw i love that dumb running gag)

-

seeing phoenix scream from the opposite side of the table is very enjoyable. just because i love seeing phoenix scream but also like having that scream not mean something bad for my case. 

i get to have my cake and eat it too! <3

-

um i dont think you can put dashes in email addresses.

-

“Don’t tell me!”

“Oh, but I will anyway.”

I love Apollo so, so much.

-

so you looked far enough into this that you tried to hack his computer but you’ll accept “its mine cause i said so” as concrete proof of something??

-

“Maybe the recipient of the email was a dog lover!”

he might be on the other side with the kid gloves off but phoenix is still Phoenix “a baseball also has stitches” Wright.

-

fuck. he walks to the bench. he cant not have legs.

...but maybe........

-

what the fuck

Atishon has the same birthday as my dad

DISGUSTING

-

oh my god, seeing phoenix /sweating/ on the other side is even more surreal

-

i also love that everyones making ‘politicians are gross’ jokes willynilly but they all forget that they’re Criminal Defence Lawyers

-

“This is... Quite... a thing... you’ve said”

I'm wheezing

this is turning out to be way funnier than i expected

please SOJ I'm having fun don’t stop me now

-

i mean he has a point. if Atishon leant the item to Bluff to study that still means that Atishon owned it in the first place.

HOWEVER, WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PROOF OF THE ORIGINAL ITEM IN ANY WAY RESEMBLING WHAT WE’VE GOT HERE.

-

its so weird to see phoenix on the wrong side of the bench that i keep getting his voice wrong when i read him out loud. i keep making him sound deep and authoritative instead of... well, how he usually sounds.

-

“Well, grandchildren ARE meant to be spoiled... I mean, that’s what grandfathers are for!”

judgeyyyyyyyyy

im crying

-

ema: can i fuck off now

-

“lets get more info on the crystal”

FINALLY. thank you, athena.

-

NO, NOT ITS HISTORY, DAMNIT

PROVE THAT IT EXISTS AND YOU OWNED IT.

-

“back in the old country”

...england..?

-

pft i though his testimony said “The Hilarious History” instead of illustrious history and i was so ready

-

“he protected the spirit mediums, a minority back then, from the rest of the locals”

well thats a big fat lie because

A) Kurain village is build on mediums

B) no way the Fey clan would allow a male ruler

we could reaaaaaaaallly use some photo evidence, Atishon.

-

“One Ives Shineto”

ok what the FUCK. where the hell are all the women?! HEY. SOJ TEAM. DID YOU EVEN GLANCE AT THE  oh of course you didnt fuck meeeeeeeeee

also whats that pun

-

FFFF PHOENIX YA LIL SHIT

-

“The transformation the mediums underwent when channeling spirits frightened the locals”

i am glad to know changing your entire bone structure is as scary looking as it sounds. of course, i doubt people would be frightened for too long when they were talking to deceased loved ones.

-

i must say they did do a good job writing Atishon’s lines.

-

“The Kurain channeling technique is known to have originated from Kooraheen, and Ami was said to travel there to train”

No, Ami invented the technique, and according to your backstory, she lived there first. Can you even keep your own facts straight?

I mean, apart from all this being bullshit and i hate it.

-

i legit cant believe it took THAT LONG for phoenix to point out the fact that the handover agreement was signed under duress.

that'd be like, the first thing i pointed out. 

...ah, there it is. I knew this couldn't stay a happy little civil case for long. Here comes the murder.

Also, really Phoenix? You didn’t bring up the fact that he might have been killed any earlier too?

-

Now that theyre bringing up the pile of books, I realize how ridiculous it is that there were so many of them on the ground. Pulling out one book might dislodge one or two next to it, but not the entire shelf. For the books to have fallen like that, they would have needed to have been shoved from the other side, or for the shelf to have listed forwards. neither of those things are possible. and nobody noticed this?!

i mean the only reason i didnt think about it was because i knew this was murder from the start.

-

Man, Phoenix, with all your “with respect for the dead” talk, it sure did take you a while to bring up the fact that you knew he was murdered and the police should probably be getting on that right now.

>edit: Actually I just realized how despicable that is; keeping the fact that this was murder secret just to use it later on as a quick bargaining chip in your civil case.

Hey capcom? You can screw up the series all you like but FUCK you for making Phoenix a skeezy piece of shit on par with the likes of von Karma. Because you know who else withholds information that sensitive for such a petty reason? MANFRED VON KARMA. 

Fuck you, capcom, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK you. 

-

“Did you forget who you were up against, Mr. Justice?”

All I do is hurl baseless accusations!!

-

wow the second this turned into murder i just got tired of this case. Also, Phoenix, you better back your butt back to your seat. Being a murder case, this requires a prosecutor... something that you are not.

-

theres AN AUTOPSY REPORT. WHY ISNT THIS A SEPARATE TRIAL.  THIS SHOULD BE A SEPARATE TRIAL; THIS SHOULD BE BEING... TRIAL-ED IN ANOTHER COURTROOM. you can reference it, and use it as evidence, BUT YOU CAN’T JUST COMBINE THEM.

Damnit, Capcom, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISAPPOINT ME.

BUT YA JUST COULDN’T HELP IT, COULD YOU.

-

...Datz is in the gallery... But he was just in jai–– fuck it whatever

-

ok now that this is a murder trial Atishon’s non-answers aren’t funny anymore, theyre ANNOYING. I WANT THIS SHIT TO BE OVER AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. YAP ME A CONTRADICTION OR I’LL CRAM YOUR BELOVED PLAQUE UP YOUR POLITICALLY INEPT ASS.

-

“Try me, o lord of plebs”

its been a long time since any meme-y type person has called someone else a pleb... please try to keep up, SOJ.

-

i love that phoenix, at the end of each statement, politely states “get the fuck on with it, asshat”

-

why the fuck did he 

fall asleep what

OOO THE JUDGE YELL 

AW YEA

-

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

you existed in the first place, Apollo. I’m sorry.

-

No.............

I do not like that Phoenix used the phrase, “Witness, I think it’s time for you to come clean.”

You know who uses phrases like that.

Assholes.

-

“You should know I always come fully prepared, Justice!”

( buy it, buy it, buy it, buy it––)

-

...Right, so Phoenix isn’t a prosecutor but he sure as hell has been doing a lot of prosecutorial things. Calling all the witnesses, explaining the case, etc.

Oh and he and and Atishon still didn’t tell anybody that Buff was most likely murdered right off the bat so ffffffuck you capcom 

-

Fuck you, Datz. Stop laughing and fucking focus on the fact that you’ve been accused of murder and it’s kinda tough on your ol’ pal Apoll– oh wait silly me i forgot none of you give a rats ass about him. All you do is laugh and eat and sit around waiting for Sadmad to come home.

-

“Better brace yourself, son”

Hey guess what Dad warranty expires if you haven’t made or tried to make contact in 20 years so get that word out of your nasty mouth, Dhurke.

-

“Worried this might make a rift between you two...

...and that you might then leave the agency”

haha

“Hahaha. She has an active imagination”

hahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

-

“...Nothing a little persuasion couldn’t handle.”

Capcom. If it was something douchey. I will tear you in half.

-

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR

robot guy

-

i remember when i used to be excited for each new case. now I'm just scared what new horrors the next will bring.

-

hang on why does the drone not have a special sound font? if it didnt disguise the operator’s voice it would be kind of obvious who they were...

-

HOLY SHIT MISSILES

SO... THE WHOLE “BOMBS IN THE COURTROOM ARE HORRIFIC THING” FROM DD IS JUST FORGOTTEN, HUH??

-

hang on.

“Capitalist pig; I’ll turn you into pork stroganoff”

is “Sarge” legit Russian, then? That explains the “Komandir” thing. Shit, I have to change my voice.

-

ok so Sarge is written with an American Sargent phonetic accent, but uses Russian rankings and seems to be communist. What am I missing???

-

“I guess he does dress like he’s in the military...”

hes a paratrooper!!! why dont you know that? i thought you grew up with him.

-

“That’s true. Papa didn’t keep our house locked up.”

...the... archeologist... with a house full of priceless treasures... didn’t lock his fucking doors.

hey congrats for trusting the mediums and all but guess what? thats irresponsible as fuck and incredibly stupid for a supposed thief so I'm kinda surprised it took you this long to be discovered/bumped off.

-

those have got to be nerf bullets cause firing a GUN in court is just fucking ridiculous. like too far for Ace Attorney. Melee weapons, ok. Long range firearms? No.

...Though... Note to self... Next time, when creating parody prosecutor, you now have legit grounds to just give him a fucking gun........

-

“Sorry, but I’m afraid lawyers are missile-proof.”

Note to self. Upgrade gag prosecutor to missile launcher.

-

ooh, i see this drone is in the same vein as the Assassin’s Radio.

-

“Courtroom warriors don’t use guns or missiles, because evidence is our weapon of choice!”

Ahah! THATS why prosecutors are so violent. They never have any evidence to back up their assertions so they just fuckin ASSAULT people.

-

i... had a little chuckle at ‘truth bomb’

-

“What’s with him and Siberia of all places?”

Well context wise it seems he's some kind of... Defected-to-communist American?

-

Huh. Athena’s powers must be based purely on sound waves then. Interesting. 

Anyway, it’s mood matrix time! Hooray!!! I’ve warmed a lot to the Mood Matrix to be honest. I like the glowy lights.

-

I’m gonna make a guess right now that something was on fire. Cause thats some PTSD shit right there.

-

pfft the gallery was so on board with their new judge overlord. Also thank goodness this is Ace Attorney and this shit is allowed to fly, cause you’d get your ass handed to you if you tried this in real court, pal.

-

Um, I wouldn’t dig any deeper if sarge is still in such a state. It’s not... safe. Either that or you best hope that thing’s bottomless magazine has run out. Plus, I love that whoever’s watching over the actual Sarge in the Lobby hasn’t tried to stop them when they noticed them SCREAMING AND PRESSING THE ‘FIRE’ BUTTON REPEATEDLY.

Or they’ve left Sarge unattended and the Dark Age of the law isn't over because it was an omnipresent thing to begin with...

-

its ok, game. contrary to what you think, you did write Sarge’s backstory in a memorable enough way for me to remember it up until now.

-

Huh. 

HUH.

So... the person involved in writing Ace Attorney Investigations... Has written a sequence in which we must burn evidence to prove a point, huh?

:T

-

DONT YOU HINT AT ME, GAME

-

that solemn moment of reflection doesn’t include Phoenix cause he’s over behind his desk bawling his eyes out

“I’LL BE YOUR NEW PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

-

actually Athena’s got a point. Her tragic backstory is much more similar to Sarge’s than Apollo’s. She can properly relate to losing one’s last family member in a horrific way.

-

S––

Well, considering her age, Cutesie Pan-up shot for Armie.

-

Apollo’s having serious Robin Newman flashbacks right about now

-

ahhhhhhhhhh. her mom was Russian. It all makes sense. Tbh just for now, forgetting everything else, this kind of does feel like an old case. I’m at peace... for now.

-

i guess it’s less of an orb and more of some kind of lantern then. Cause you can’t really burn a crystal

unless its

whitcrystal

hahah

hahahahahahahhaha

-

so far I'm ranking the cases from best to worst: Magical, This part of Revolution, Foreign, Rite and Storyteller. 

-

sgsjgsjsjjs athena’s INTENSE LOOK OF HUNGER as Apollo burns the orb

“I wanna see me some sweet mama goddess”

-

damn shit thats her face

thats uh

o

ohhhh

oh i see. I was wondering what the ‘great power’ the orb could bestow upon people was, and now I realize that since it depicts her face, if someone knows her name, they could channel her. And since she's basically an actual goddess that would bestow some serious power.

not bad, not bad at all.

i know i highly dislike Kooraheen but i legit feel kinda blessed

-

“The issue is crystal clear”

*seals phoenix’s fate with a fucking pun*

-

dont keep saying “did we just win” before the verdict is handed down, you'll jinx it.

-

oh hey, blackmail. its like a perfect reenactment of Capcom getting Phoenix to sign onto this sequel.

-

Phoenix: According to the legend, once the founder returned... She would bestow spiritual power onto the person who solved the riddle.

Apollo: ...Y-youre kidding, right?!

[Apollo looks flummoxed, the gallery whispers. We cut back to Phoenix’s smirk, and then––”

???: Phoenix... Just give it up.

[Phoenix screams in shock. We pan back to Apollo......... Who now has D-Cup breasts and a very familiar face.]

/...i wish.

-

legit tho i cant believe he's trying to pull this. I'm cackling

this is the lawyeriest lawyer ploy ive ever seen

-

“What’s gotten into him?”

bad writing.

-

sdsgsdhjafhgj EVEN THE JUDGE IS CALLING BULLSHIT IM CRYI

-

(sigh) i guess we’re really gonna have to finish this, aren’t we. oh well. on we go! let’s forge ahead!

-

y’know i just remembered that Pearl appeared like, once in this. Was that her only part? I guess she just existed to remind us that Kurain village used to have girls in it.

-

noooooooo fuuuuuuuuuuck

i really hope the contradiction doesn’t require pressing because i aint sitting thru this fuck’s antics again.

-

it has rounded corners.

and its huge.

-

phoenix and apollo’s objections are too similar, i can never tell who’s screaming.

-

“There haven't been many murders there, I take it”

well........ not “many”

-

i love that Atishon pledges to banish murdeer from Kurain village and Apollo is all “yea good luck with that” like Murder is inevitable, even in a tiny village like Kurain.

Thats. kinda terrifying.

...though considering the way Kurain is...

-

i cant tell phoenix and apollo’s voices apart (sigh)

i never know whose objecting 

-

Phoenix: my client couldn't have viewed the murder directly from where he said he was, but the fact remains that he had inside knowledge of said crime!

...phoenix, you’re just trying to help apollo along, right? you didnt seriously believe that that sounded positive to your case, instead of Shady as Fuck, right??

-

“You talk big, Mr. Justice, but do you have what it takes?”

he just finished telling Phoenix he was about to put what Phoenix taught him into practice. Phoenix should be swallowing a lump in his throat and trying not to cry of pride right now.

-

“that suitcase could be a weapon anyone could use!”

yeah... yeah! even someone in a wheelchair!! oh wait wrong case.

..........but we still have someone in a wheelchair

-

a 3D crimscene view

haven't seen that shit since AAAJ

-

‘THAT SHITSTAIN ON THE BOOK PROVES HE WAS HAVIN THE COFFEE SQUIRTS, CASE CLOSED BOYS”

sorry i just felt like being vulgar

-

“and there it is, the final excuse cornered killers are so fond of”

holy shit

i love apollo

-

phoenix shut up please, just shut up

let it end

let me rest

-

oh wait

ah here we go.

-

“hes a bright young politician with a future ahead of him, its in our nations best interests to avoid burdening him with the taint of scandal”

hey, uh Enshiro

ill never forgive you for putting those words in Phoenix Wright’s mouth

-

“Lawyer! Do something! Or a bad thing will happen to ‘her’!”

no? nobody else heard that incredibly obvious threat? nobodys gonna

“whats he talking about? well, i can ponder that later. for now...”

FUCK

YOU

DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN THAT IS CONNECTED TO YOUR FUCKING EARS?!

HOW THICK HEADED DO YOU HAVE TO FFUCKING BE TO NOT RECOGNIZE A GODDAMN THREAT WHEN YOU HEAR ONE YOU 

YOU

YOU PUTRID PICKLED RED PEPPER?!?!??!?!

-

Athena: oh yeah i also heard Atishon making blatant threats at Phoenix but meh, phoenix made me pinky swear not to tell. 

I’m not shitting a lung in fury, I’m just getting rid of an organ i dont need through the nearest available passage. I’m perfectly calm and not cursing this game, Eshiro and his entire team to the pits of their own stupid made up hell.

-

“I had no idea. This must’ve been excruciating for him.”

i wanted to write a sarcastic jingle but i had trouble coming up with rhymes, so the blunt bottom line is:

when you’re not good at writing, simply steal clever and impactful plots from previous iterations so that you’ll seem clever and exciting

i mean

nobody even remembers Farewell my Turnabout anymore, right????

-

what the fuck is his deal with being king

-

OH SHUT UP DURKE 

GO FUCK YOURSELF

think youre gonna steal Franziska and Mia’s thunder????????????? no

you aren’t a fucking fraction of an inch as cool as either of them.

-

“he’s saved my neck so many times”

w

when

-

“where there’s a will, there’s a way”

how about where theres a whip, theres a better game?

-

“wait................... maybe we can summon the founder now that we can see her face??”

aww. you got there in the end, didnt you apollo.

-

...that doesnt automatically spare Maya’s life. Pearl is also a spirit medium. And i’m fairly certain there are other–– oh wait SOJ retconned that neverMIND

anyway, Atishon could still bump Maya off and then force Pearl to channel Mamma Kooraheen

-

OH MY GOD HE JUST BROUGHT UP PEARL

WHY PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID 

-

WIMPERSON BROUGHT UP PEARL

THE IDIOT VILLAIN BROUGHT UP THE FLAW IN YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN 

GSEGFISGUILSGIULSGUI;SRHG

-

“pearl wouldn't help you if anything happened to maya”

um. you morons think he’d politely ask her to help??? he's already kidnapped someone and threatened their death?? he and his founder aren't above torture or blackmail????????????

you FUCKING MORONS

-

why even bother resigning? just do what you did before and let him go to jail.

-

...this’d better just be a lead up to his breakdown animation 

-

YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKSTAINS JUST END IT ALREADY

END IT END IT END IT EDN TI EDNEI HDFI HSRLG SIHFLIHIR HF;LIVHLSIRHIGHISRHOVGLORIH’WI’HSGOI’WSGZIHSI

-

“if only you'd been smart enough to kill the girl, too...”

wow

-

...what the fuck

well that was... interesting.

-

i cant even celebrate Phoenix congratulating Apollo, I'm just so tired

there are like 85 sarcastic remarks i could make but I'm just so exhausted 

-

yay we got the orb

dootdootdoot dootdootdoot

-

even the judge doesnt want to have anything more to do with this.

im right there with ya judgey

-

“All I can say is, thats my boy!”

NO, YOU DONT GET TO CLAIM PARENTAL PRIDE OF THIS KID

HES NOT YOUR BOY

YOU BARELY RAISED HIM

GO HOME AND DO YOUR SHITTY COUP

-

“Still, its kinda nice to be appreciated”

if only you actually were, Apollo

-

yeah, thought so... ill bet they dont even channel her. cop out.

“tsk, thats no fun” indeed, trucy

-

i love how nobodys like “OK WHERE’S MAYA??? IS SHE OK???”

its fine her whereabouts are unknown and the last info on her was just that her life was in danger

pfffff

-

its alright, Armie has a place at the WAO 

-

"i knew if i admitted i could walk, id have to leave the house”

uh honey newsflash: you can leave the house in a wheelchair too. I'm pretty sure your dad would let you stay inside anyway

-

christ how fucking corny can you get. I CAN WALK AGAIN. why dont we just have Tiny Tim in here throwing away his crutch and dancing a fucking jig

-

see, there we are. Maya’s still in danger you fuck wits.

-

and part one is over, folks! i am pooped. and furious.

till next time.