#im expecting not to be listened to and to be stuck with just a plethora of things that god now im crying idek how to explain myself

[yakisabajanai]

,,,

[almightyhollands]

Involved: Part 4

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader 

A/N: okay so there is smut in this but it isn’t very detailed because like? this is a big part and i needed it to be about more than the horizontal hanky panky anyway im pretty sure im only gonna do one more part after this so here we go PSA this is not good, it’s 3:30 am and im locking that in as my final excuse

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 5

Peter sits at the cheap plastic table, the paper tablecloth crinkling every time he made a move. He looks over to his friends across the room and sighs before his eyes drift to you. You look beautiful, of course. He expected nothing less. Your eyes shine under the lights and you’re smiling, so wide Peter’s afraid your face is getting sore. He can’t help but wish that he had told you how he felt before, because watching you spin around in Adam’s arms makes his heart clench and his head pound.

Honestly, he wasn’t sure telling you would have done anything. If your ‘break up’, as Peter had begun referring to it as, hadn’t been about Adam, it was obvious that was what you were going to tell him in the first place. But he had hope that you had feelings for him, as stupid as it sounded, and he was determined to find out. Tapping his fingers on the table, he shoots up as soon as the song currently playing ends, his legs hurriedly carrying him towards you and Adam. Adam greets Peter with a large smile and though Peter has the urge to throw a fist at the tall blonde, he smiles back to the boy. “Mind if I steal a dance?” Peter asks, and Adam laughs.

“Not at all.” He says, making a break for the snack table. You look after him, afraid to make eye contact with Peter.

“Hey,” He says, his hand gently grabbing your chin, turning you towards him. “it’s just a dance.” He says, and you nod slowly, allowing his arms to wrap around your waist. Tangling your fingers together behind his neck, you look up at him carefully. You hadn’t had a chance to talk to him since the incident in the hallway, he hadn’t been to chemistry in over two weeks, and his appearances in your bedroom window had stopped. “So, are you having a good time?” You sense a note of hostility in his voice and your brows furrow. 

“Yes.” You say bluntly, looking at the deep circles below his eyes. “Peter, you need to stop getting in these fights.” You say, and his eyes narrow before he shakes his head.

“No, I haven’t been in any fights. Not any where my face would have been injured, anyway.” He says it trying to lighten the mood, but the worry in your eyes doesn’t subside and he sighs. “I just haven’t been sleeping well, that’s all. Okay?” You hesitate and one of his hands lifts from your waist to caress your face softly. Against your better judgement, you lean into his hand and close your eyes, reveling in the familiar callousness of his skin on yours. Opening your eyes, you find him staring at you, his eyes soft and the corners of his lips turning up.

Peter opens his mouth to finally tell you everything he’s been holding in for the past couple weeks, that he’s in love with you and that he can’t fucking stand seeing you dance and laugh with Adam, but before the song is even over, Adam is standing at your side, an arm slithering around your waist. Peter’s arms fall to his sides and he dejectedly smiles at you, stepping backwards in order to keep eye contact with you until he turns on his heel and is walking towards the glass doors.

After Adam had dropped you off in front of your door with a friendly kiss on your cheek, you close your front door behind yourself. Your parents are already asleep, made obvious by the facts that their door is closed and it’s 2 in the morning. You sigh, already unzipping your dress by the time you reach your bedroom door, ready to lie in bed and sleep the rest of the night and most of tomorrow.

Your eyes cast down to the floor, you turn your light on, jumping when you see Peter sitting on your bed. “Peter, why the fuck are you sitting in my dark bedroom?” You asked, and he shrugged. “Don’t shrug. Why are you here?” You asked.

Peter stood and you immediately spot him getting worked up. Pacing lightly back and forth, he looks you in the eye as he makes his way around your room. “Remember last Thursday?” He asks, and your shoulders drop. “Remember when you broke up with me?” He asks.

“Peter, I didn’t break up with you, I--”

“But you did!” You had never seen Peter like this. Your Peter had always been calm and cool, never anxious or fretting. Instead, Peter’s staring at you with wide, unblinking eyes, obviously flustered and perturbed. The two of you stand in silence before he laughs a humorless laugh, running a hand over his face. “I was going to tell you that I had feelings for you on Thursday.” He says. You almost feel as though your world has stopping spinning and everything’s crashing from the momentum; you stand still and silent for a moment.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. But in the past two weeks I realized that I don’t just have feelings for you, (Y/N). I’m in love with you.” His voice almost cracks as he says the words and you look on in amazement. Peter Parker, the very boy you had loved since you were fourteen, was standing in your bedroom declaring his love for you in the middle of the night. 

Taking a step towards him, you press a soft hand against his cheek. In a perfect parallel to just a few hours before, Peter’s eyes flutter closed and he presses his face further into your hand, inhaling deeply through his nose. “I love you, Peter.” You whisper, pulling him close and wrapping your arms tightly around him. For a few minutes, the two of you stand there, holding each other and very lightly swaying as though there were a breeze. Peter pulls back and stares you in the eyes for only a second before his lips are pressed against yours. You found that Peter and your kisses were usually pretty damn great anyway, but there’s a different element this time that pulls the two of you closer than you ever had been, and you knew exactly what it was.

Excitement courses through your veins, not only at the feeling of Peter tugging the zipper of your dress down the rest of the way, but also for what was to come of you and Peter. You smile against the boys lips at just the thought.

Peter has the two of you undressed before you even realize what’s happening. He hovers above you, eyes boring into your own. “Holy shit, I love you.” He reminds you, and you grin. 

“I love you.” He reaches down and presses two fingers against your clit in order to ensure you’re wet enough. He drags his fingers down and back up your slit, making sure to stare at you as he sucks them clean, knowing it makes you blush wildly, and then he’s pushing into you. The closeness you share with him is almost too much to handle as he retains eye contact with you. Although his eyes are hooded with pleasure, you can see the adoration shining in them, the same adoration he saw looking down at you. Your fingers lace together with his as you let out a long, low moan.

“You have to stay quiet, baby.” He reminds, though the strain in his voice makes it obvious that he’s having trouble keeping his own moans in. You bite your lip and he drops his head down into the crook of your neck, which you had quickly realized was the first place he would hide his red cheeks and scrunched nose.

Peter lets out a quiet whimper, a sound you rarely heard from him when his hips slam particularly hard against yours. Gasping, your eyes fly closed and your legs wrap around Peter’s waist, pulling him closer. He brushes against a spot inside of you that always manages to make you scream and with another gasp, you assure him that you’re close. Within seconds, you’re coming and he’s well on his way, just teetering over the edge. With a quiet cry of your name, Peter is spilling inside of you, ignoring the sweat on his body as he collapses gently on top of you. You gladly welcome his weight, wrapping your arms around his torso. His head lifts up and you see him grinning madly, pressing a plethora of loving kisses against your forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips. “I love you.” He says again, and you giggle.

“I love you too, Peter.” 

After lying in a comfortable silence, Peter reaches over and pushes the hair that had fallen in your face away, your eyes fluttering closed as you fell asleep. For the first time in so long, Peter found himself content. Peter slept well that night, until about seven when he awoke to his phone ringing. Quick not to wake you, Peter clambered out of bed to grab his phone from his pocket and switching it to silent.

“God fucking damn it.” He whispered. The all-too-familiar name Happy Hogan flashed across his screen and he started weighing pros and cons of blowing off the mission he knew was waiting for him.

Pros of answering the phone were that he wouldn’t be pissing Happy off, that he would continue to prove that he was loyal to Tony. Cons were that you still didn’t have any idea the Peter was Spiderman and that leaving you in bed alone the night after confessing his love for you was possibly the worst thing he could have done. Deciding against what he knew he wanted, he pressed the accept button and held the phone up to his ear. Watching you sleep, he listened to Happy brief him on the mission and sighed, informing Happy that he would arrive soon.

Pressing a soft kiss against your forehead, Peter pulled a sticky note from your desk and stuck it tentatively against the glass of your window, the place he know you go to first when you awoke looking for him.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I’m sorry. -Peter

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