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ttttaehyungie · 4 years

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sincerely, but no longer yours | chapter 5

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sincerely, but no longer yours | ex!kim namjoon x reader

genre | angst, smut, exes au

summary | It started as a coping mechanism as getting the words out provided a form of catharsis. But now you can’t stop writing these love letters, even with the knowledge that they’ll never get sent. After all, who writes love letters to their ex?

word count | 5.2k

chapter rating | 18+

warnings | angst, smut (but it’s angsty smut lksjdflk help), nipple play, dry humping, alcohol consumption, someee intense jealousy

a/n | FIRST OF ALL im so sorry this is so incredibly late lskjdflkjs life has been extremely busy for me 😪 but it’s here!!!! thank you to everybuddy who’s been waiting patiently for this 🤧🤧 but i think this is one of the most angsty chapters of the series soooo 🙃

Namjoon’s an expert at avoiding uncomfortable topics, even if they’re massively serious. It’s something you absolutely hated and it was the cause of many arguments in your previous relationship, and perhaps was even the ultimate cause of your breakup.

But right now, you’re really beginning to understand the appeal.

The first time he swung by the museum for lunch after his birthday celebration - a paper bag in hand filled with bagels still warm and toasty from the store on the corner that you adore - you were caught entirely off guard.

Your mind jumps to the unread messages sitting in your texts and you regret ignoring them. Not because the guilt had hit you, but because maybe if you had been contactable, you would have received a heads-up that he was coming by.

Some might call it selfish, but you prefer to call it self-preservation.

To be fair, it’s not like you were going to leave them unanswered forever. You just needed space to collect your thoughts and make sense of your confusing emotions first, lest you begin the conversation prematurely and drag Namjoon down into the dizzying depths of your current state. As it is right now, your thoughts are like nodes floating in a decontextualized void, the web still unformed because you haven’t had the time to grapple with everything yet.

But here he is, inspecting the cross-section of each bagel Soo-eun pulls out of the bag, trying to identify which is which. Yeri’s at his side, gushing about how great the bagels from this place are. The three of them are crowded around the paper bag that sits on the wooden bench, the paint peeling from the way it’s been bleached by the sun in the museum’s outdoor area. Here he is at your workplace. With your friends. You can’t ignore him now, not without rousing your friends’ suspicion.

But what you can ignore is the issue.

It’s not the time nor the place to talk about this anyway. The atmosphere is warm and light, carrying traces of last night’s celebratory mood. The lunch treat is Namjoon’s way of appreciating the surprise you guys organized for him last night. And there’s a bagel stuffed full of salty sweet ham and sticky melty cheese waiting for you to sink your teeth into. Really not the time for serious conversations at all.

So when Namjoon’s eyes search yours, all wide and probing, as you step in to grab your share, you simply smile and thank him, before slinking away to join Soo-eun on the next bench. Not too far - barely five steps away - but far enough that it gives you space to breathe. Even if Namjoon notices your attempts at escaping, he doesn’t have time to call you out on it. Not when you slyly shoot Yeri a wink. Seamlessly, she catches the cue and sits herself down on the bench, tugging at his arm. For once, you welcome Yeri flirting with Namjoon.

“Let’s eat! I’m starving,” she says.

You don’t miss the way Namjoon’s gaze flickers between you and Yeri, but you ignore it and take a generous bite of the bagel in your hands.

“Mm, so good,” you say, and turn to Soo-eun. “Don’t you miss the days before this place got really popular?”

“No, because you and Yeri insisted on going there every day. I can only ingest so many bagels a week.”

“____ hasn’t changed one bit.” Namjoon chuckles. “This time in middle school, she ate tater tots every single day for three weeks straight. She had to be banned for a week.”

“Are you weaponizing my middle school past against me?” you ask amidst your friends’ laughter. “Too bad. I don’t regret it for a second. Tater tots are too delicious to regret.”

Lunch falls back into the easy rhythm of lighthearted jibes, the kitchen debacle receding for now.

Procrastination is a real bitch of a habit to kick. As soon as one reason to put it off expires, your brain churns out another two in its place like a modern-day Hydra.

As for Namjoon? Well, you’re not surprised when he makes no moves to initiate the difficult conversation. After all, you’re adopting his bad habit.

Eventually it gets to the point where you might as well not talk about it at all. Everything’s going fine so far without it. Or as fine as it can be with this beast looming in the backdrop.

You know you need to just get this damn conversation over with. But you can’t. Not till you figure out what exactly is going on with your emotions. Without it, there’s no way you can cauterize the wounds and invalidate your excuses for what they are -- excuses.

It’s not that you haven’t tried. But it’s presenting itself as a real Herculean effort. Mulling it over has you tossing and turning in bed, only leaving you with a headache and a steadily growing desperation. It’s desperation enough that you leave the comfortable warmth of your bed to sit at your desk, shivering as you pen the familiar words once again.

Dear Namjoon,

The words flow in their usual, unrestricted manner. Before, it had been like a dam breaking, the tight restraint that was normally kept on your emotions finally released and the wave of emotions gushing out till it reached a peaceful equilibrium. But now, your emotions are just a whirlpool and your words you pen mimic its spiralling, chasing your thoughts in endless loops.

You’re not over him. But so what? It’s not like getting together is an option. Not when he hasn’t grown out of one of the major things that caused the end of your previous relationship. And not when you haven’t even talked that out, if you ever will.

So what can you do now? Kicking him out of your life will mean having to deal with the loss that his absence will bring again. Going back to pretending the other doesn’t exist will mean dancing around each other again every time you bump into each other in this too small city. And with the way your social circles are intertwined now, that would mean a bunch of explaining to do.

But having him close yet holding him at arm’s length? Walking the narrow margin that is being friends with your ex? A misstep in either direction would be torturous but inevitable - too close and it’s alarming, but too far and it’s a painful reminder that he’s not yours.

Far from the illuminating effect you were hoping it would have, your letter to Namjoon only leaves you deeper in confusion. You throw your pen down. Giving up, you fold the paper up. Sealing the letter in an envelope doesn’t bring the same sense of relief it did before. The Hydra remains unslain.

And so the problem gets shoved away - the same treatment the letter gets as it’s roughly tossed into the desk drawer - into the same corner of the recesses of your mind that your breakup resides in.

You know that Namjoon’s confused. Heck, you are too. It’s a strange dance the two of you are involved in, caught between the compulsion to continue yet knowing the risks it bears. Neither of you are bold enough to take the lead. And so this strange stasis drags on as it has for weeks now.

It’s as if the kiss unearthed something in him. Actually no, it’s unearthed something in both of you. And the tension - the fucking tension - is unreal. The tells are so obvious that you wonder how neither Yeri nor Soo-eun have said anything about it yet. There’s certainly no subtlety in the way his eyes linger on your lips in the middle of conversations that you wonder if he’s even aware he’s doing it.

And when it’s just the two of you? It’s infinitely worse.

It’s hard to blame him. Touch has always been your love language and Namjoon knows it. Physical touch wasn’t just a thing of your previous two-year relationship. It was a thing of your decades of friendship too, the little touches so casual and almost subconscious. Rekindling your friendship without them had taken intentional effort.

You’re not sure who started it. Maybe both of you just fell back into it, the casual little touches slipping their way back in. But what’s not casual at all is the way your heartbeat goes erratic at the most simple of gestures. The way he blithely sweeps the crumbs from your lunch off your lap. The slightly too long side-hug he holds you in, the warmth of his arm around you permeating through the layers you wear and has you simultaneously freezing up while also turning your insides to goo. But it isn’t overtly romantic either.

At least, that’s the excuse you give yourself when the comfort of his touch gets too tempting and you end up succumbing to it. The familiarity of it all makes you feel like you’ve finally arrived home. As if you’ve been on this long, arduous journey and you’re finally here. You get to drop the heavy backpack and rest now.

But the voice of rationality in you tells you this wrong wrong wrong. You’ve got to get out of here.

And that’s how you end up here. White-knuckled grip tight on the edges of the sink as you stare yourself dead in the eyes in the bathroom mirror. The music outside thumps away albeit muted through the door to the ladies’. But the way your heart thumps has nothing to do with that.

Even without shifting your gaze, you can tell that your cheeks are slightly reddened and warm. You can feel it tingling. No, you don’t shift your gaze. It stays fixed on the intense stare that your reflection throws back at you like a challenge, the ferocity of it enhanced by the sharp eyeliner you’re wearing tonight, an uncharacteristic look for you.

Heck, this whole night is uncharacteristic.

You could take the easy route and blame it on Yeri. God knows she can be real persuasive - it’s why she’s excellent at her job. So getting you all out to the club on a Friday night to celebrate nothing other than the simple joy that - c’mon guys, we’re all young and alive and free and tell me that’s not worth celebrating and I’ll fucking fistfight you right here and now even with my freshly manicured nails - is no feat for her.

Still, no one really expected your simple reply, tone nonchalant and eyes still glued to your work screen, “Yeah, I could use a night out.”

Soo-eun had remained silent but you could feel her stiffen slightly beside you. Yeri had been surprised too but more elated that she didn’t have to get through your usual ten solid minutes of whining and half-baked attempts at slithering your way out of it.

But back to the present. Your bodycon dress - one of the rare pieces that survived not just your college partying days but also the wardrobe purge that occurred when you had to downsize everything to fit into the tiny apartment that’s quintessential to city-living - expands with your chest as you take a deep breath. Gripping the hem where it sits mid-thigh, you yank it down slightly. It’s been a while since you’ve worn this dress. And while the younger, more risque version of you that was your college self had been enthralled by the daringness of the dress, your current self has to dig deep to muster up that same boldness.

Relenting as you realize that this is the limit to how much you can stretch the length of your dress, you let go and your fingertips unintentionally brush your thigh as it falls back to your side. It elicits a shudder, the sensation of your own fingers too close to the electrifying feeling of someone’s thumb skimming across it. It was electrifying enough that your brain finally powered up again, voice of rationality sending you skedaddling away, out of reach of his touch, and pathetically seeking refuge in the washroom.

You roll your shoulders back and shake your head, dispelling the thoughts. Standing upright, you look yourself in the eye again. You can do this. You’re going to go out there, and you’re going to have a good time with your friends. You’re going to have a good time with Namjoon. With a nod of affirmation, you turn and saunter your way back to the club with a confidence that has your chin firmly tipped upwards.

You push the door open and look for your friends. The sight that greets you immediately punctures your confidence and your steady posture falls limp.

It’s hard to miss her silvery dress - the dress you knew she would wear and the dress that your very own was meant to counter. It catches the light and grabs attention. And at this moment, it grabs your attention so you can witness Yeri standing between Namjoon’s manspread thighs as he’s perched on the barstool, her hands all over him.

Whatever puffed up confidence you’d had is knocked out of you with that sucker punch of a sight. You turn away, needing to look anywhere but at them.

And that’s when your line of sight falls on a curly-haired man, oddly familiar, and apparently someone you know since he’s waving to you.

“____, hey!” he yells over the music.

“Dong-In?”

He nods and smiles at you. “It’s been a while.”

“Wait.” You gasp. “I was supposed to get back to you on brunch, wasn’t I?” Damn. You’ve been so wrapped up with Namjoon that you totally forgot about Dong-In. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been really caught up with things.”

“It’s no biggie.” He shrugs boyishly. “The exhibition, right?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sure, the exhibition. Let’s go with that.

“And nothing to do with…” he directs his gaze - and yours along with it - to none other than Namjoon who’s now drinking with Yeri.

Your gaze snaps back to Dong-In and his cheshire grin.

“Nah,” you feign a laugh. “He’s just a friend.”

“The hand he had on you sure didn’t look like just friends.”

“I said we’re just friends,” you snap, then gasp, taken aback by your own outburst. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, I should be the one apologizing. I hit a nerve there, didn’t I. D’you wanna talk about it?” His voice is warm and mellow and oh so inviting. And you very nearly give in.

But you can’t pull him into your problems. It’s not his burden to bear.

“Not really. But thanks, Dong-In.”

“That’s cool.” He nods, and relief fills you. This is what you’ve always liked about Dong-In. He’s chill. “Well since we’re here, wanna get buzzed?”

You laugh. “I won’t say no to that.”

The bar isn’t too far from where you are, and it doesn’t take long before the burn of alcohol is sliding down your throat. Picking up the conversation again, you have to admit, you’d forgotten how easy it is to talk to Dong-In. He’s got that effortless charisma and an easy sense of humor that you can vibe with. Things are simple with him. There’s no line to be tiptoed. Flirting - now that you’re no longer obtuse and you’re finally aware that he is indeed flirting with you - isn’t accompanied by guilt or fear.

And after weeks of this complicated situation with Namjoon, simplicity is what you crave.

“Hey, do you wanna dance?” you ask suddenly. Surprise colors his features for a moment but he laughs it off.

“Is the conversation boring you? You could have just told me to shut up if you wanted me to,” he jokes.

“No!” You laugh. “There’s just a good beat going and-”

“I’m just kidding. I’d love to.” He smiles and grabs your hand.

The two of you weave your way through the mass of gyrating bodies. Lightly buzzed, the fog and the strobe lights blurring everything around you other than your dance partner, you finally find the courage you’ve been searching for this whole time. Dong-In hasn’t been very subtle about checking you out all night, and it gives you that extra boost of confidence that’s finally quelled the antsy thoughts and calmed the fidgety adjustments to your dress’s hemline.

So when his hands find your waist, you step in a little closer and run your hands through your hair, shaking it out and finally letting loose as your hips rock to the pounding beat. Dancing with Dong-In is much like conversing with him- easy and simple fun with just the slightest tinge of excitement. As your hips sway together in languid synchrony, you catch a whiff of the slightly intoxicating combination of his cologne and the undertones of his own natural scent. You give in to the giddying sensation of his hands running lightly over your body and press in closer, eyes fluttering shut, and just feeling. It’s thrilling. It’s risque. It’s-

A solid grip on your wrist yanks you forward and stumbling into a hard chest.

His voice is gruff as he bites out his words, “Get your hands off her.”

“Namjoon?” you gape.

“We’re leaving.” His eyes fix on yours, steely and piercing. A shiver runs down your spine - in all your years of knowing him, you’ve never seen him like this. He tugs on your wrist once more. “Now.”

Dazed by this brand new persona, you don’t even get to say goodbye to Dong-In, just pulled along by the force that is a quietly fuming Namjoon. Everything happens so quickly that it’s all a blur until you’re in the Uber with him, silently clutching onto your purse as an anchor in this sudden whirlwind of events. The anger emanates off of him even in the dimly lit backseat.

“What the fuck?” you whisper, but the shock diminishes the level of conviction in your voice.

He turns to you, the same hardness still in his gaze. “I should be the one asking that.”

“What?!” you snap. In your peripheral vision, you see the Uber driver jump slightly. Lowering your tone, you hiss, “What gives you the right?”

“What gives me the right?” he echoes incredulously, scoffing and turning away from you to face forward instead as he rolls his eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

The car slows to a stop and you recognize your apartment building. You scramble to get away from him. But it seems your confrontation is far from over. Namjoon unbuckles his own seatbelt to follow you.

Terse silence sits between you, the aggravated stomping of your feet as you climb the stairs the only thing that fills the sound.

You turn sharply round the corner, stalking off to your apartment door. “You don’t have to escort me y’know, I’m perfectly capable of getting home by myself.”

“Really?” He folds his arms and leans on the wall next to your door. “It’s hard to trust you when you go off getting drunk and throwing yourself at a random stranger in the club.”

“Is that what the problem is?” You finally ram the key in, and the click as it unlocks is as harsh as your tone. “Sorry to break it to you, but I have a life apart from you. He’s no stranger. His name is Dong-In, he’s Yeri’s friend, and he’s a great guy.”

You shove the door open. Your heels get kicked off and left haphazardly at the entryway, shoe cabinet ignored.

“Wow, some great guy he is,” Namjoon slams the door shut and his shoes get discarded off his feet in the same fashion, “drunkenly feeling you up in a club.”

“Fuck!” You turn, wringing your hands in your hair. Your glares rival each other. “You say it as if I was strung along by him. Well I wasn’t. I initiated it.”

His glare flickers for a moment. He stays silent.

“Just admit that you’re jealous,” you whisper. You unsling your purse and dump it on top of the shoe cabinet, never breaking eye contact.

“Fine.” Namjoon’s gaze doesn’t waver. “I am.”

He skulks forward and traps you between him and the cabinet, gaze holding yours. Namjoon’s always towered over you, but at the moment it isn’t his height that makes you feel tiny.

“Watching his hands all over you like this,” Namjoon’s hands slowly skim the back of your thighs and up your sides and you bite back a whimper, “makes me jealous.”

“And watching you respond like this?” He continues as a firm hand presses the small of your back to close the gap between your torsos. “Glued to him like this? It makes me jealous.”

“You don’t own me,” you whisper but it only elicits a sardonic laugh from him.

“You say that, but you know damn well that’s not the truth. Tell me. Are you jealous?”

“What would I-”

“Yeri.” Damn. Straight through the bullshit. With an eyebrow cocked, it’s obvious he knows the answer and he’s not budging, not even an inch.

“Yes,” you admit quietly. “I’m jealous.”

“Silly girl.” He traces the hemline of your dress. “I only want you.”

A soft keening noise spills out of you. “I’m so sick of holding back.” You tug on his dress shirt, and the feel of his plush lips finally, finally meeting yours snips the final frayed cords of self-restraint you possessed.

Namjoon is quick to reciprocate, and you moan as his tongue licks at your bottom lip. Hooking your arms around his neck, you pull him closer, needing nothing else but to have him close after all this time of distance. He hoists you up, and your legs circle his waist to aid him. The world around you sets into motion as he walks you to your bed, and you anchor yourself by pressing kisses to his neck.

With how tiny your apartment is, it takes no time for him to carry you from the entryway to your bedroom. The cool sensation of your unmade sheets envelops you as he lowers you down onto the bed. He barely gets a moment to appreciate the sight of you, hair mussed and lipstick smudged, lounging on the bed and waiting for him. Desperate for his touch and running out of patience, you gesture to the zip on the side of your dress. Hurrying, he pulls the zipper down as you tug your arms out of the thin straps of the garment. You sit up and let the torso of the dress fall to bunch up at your waist, revealing your bare chest to him.

The quiet gasp that escapes him as he beholds you is infinitely flattering. It’s but a momentary pause. He dives forward into action again. An arm looped around your back to support you as your chest arches upwards, he crouches over you to take one perked-up tit into the heat of his mouth, his free hand coming up to toy with the other. His tongue laves over your nipple in a slippery flick. The other gets pinched and rolled, leaving you gasping at the delicious sensations.

“Namjoon,” you moan out breathily, and it only eggs him on. You whimper as he begins sucking on the bud and wetness pools between your thighs. Your fingernails rake down his back, muted through the layer of his dress shirt.

“M-more,” you plead. He releases your breast and moves his mouth upwards, trailing gentle pecks till he kisses along the length of your collarbone.

“Come here,” he commands, his words breathy and hot as they puff against the thin skin of your clavicle. He scoots back to lean against the headboard, and you follow hastily.

You clamber on top of him, knees bent and straddling his lap as he helps you hike the skirt of your dress up. But before you seat yourself atop the prominent bulge in the lightwash denim of his jeans, he holds you still with a firm grasp on your hip.

His thumb trails the lace detail of your panties, the patterns snaking across your hip bone, baby pink like your dress.

“Gorgeous,” he mumbles. His fingers wander to your clothed core, the material slightly sheer from the damp spot of your arousal. He strokes it tenderly with the pad of his finger, so light that it has you quivering as you hover above him.

His fingernail grazes your slit through the wet material and a gasp catches in your throat. You clench around nothing as carnal desire throbs through your core.

“Namjoon, please,” you whine.

Finally, he gives in to you and pulls you down. Your laced core meets his rough denim-clad one. The stiff material of his jeans pokes through the delicate fabric of your underwear, the friction rough as he drags you over his clothed bulge. The burn is delicious. His hands on you set a slow but steady rhythm that you follow easily, canting your hips in time. It’s enrapturing to watch the way you grind on one another, your clit rubbing up on the apex of his bulge in mutual pleasure.

A finger tips your chin up from the sight you were fixated on.

“Eyes on me.”

It’s difficult. Pleasure has your eyes drooping shut. But the intensity of his gaze compellingly holds yours and you manage, even if barely. His expression is stoic, and it’s only the twitch of his dick that betrays how affected he is. You, on the other hand, are completely abandoned to pleasure. Hands scrabbling across his upper back and up until they settle themselves as fists gripping tufts of his hair, teeth clamped on your bottom lip as moans spill out of you at increasing frequency as your pleasure climbs and climbs and climbs until-

Burrowing your face into the side of his neck, you pant as you cross the peak. Hips now stilled, your climax has you throbbing against his hardened member. You cling onto him with your arms around his neck as you free-fall in the subsiding pleasure. Bare chest brushing against the smooth material of his dress shirt, you catch your breath and yield to the moment.

“Shit,” he mutters. “Shit.” Louder this time. “Shit, shit, shit.”

The regret in his words yank you out of the heady fog of lust. There’s no time to bask in the afterglow. Reality comes crashing down hard and mercilessly.

Suddenly, you feel so small and so exposed. You read his regret as rejection. Your nudity and previous salacious actions make you feel stupid.

Namjoon attempts to extricate your arms from around him, but shame has you clutching to him tighter, hiding your face in his neck. You can still feel him under you, but it’s now an uncomfortable reminder of the act you just committed.

“Hey,” his voice is gentle now, pleading, “look at me? Please?”

You refuse. It’s impossible to look him in the eye right now.

“Fuck.” Even whispered, the panic laced in his tone is blatant. Gently, he maneuvers both of you to turn over. Feeling the mattress underneath you as you’re laid on your back, you release your hold on him and swiftly turn and tug your blanket up to hide away from him.

“____.” He tries. You grip the sheets even tighter as you feel him trying to pull it away from your face. “Please.”

Embarrassment. Guilt. Mortification. They overtake you and you curl in on yourself. You just want to disappear.

“____,” he tries again, hand stroking your head. But you don’t allow yourself to succumb to its comfort. “Talk to me. Please.”

Oh, now he wants to talk.

Why couldn’t you have just talked things out earlier? Why only now when things have fallen apart? Why now when you’ve just done something so stupid and so reckless?

Why now when it’s too late? What can talking possibly do to fix this now?

His pleas are met with silence.

“I’m gonna get you some water,” he says resignedly.

More silence. He sighs. You feel the mattress shift as he gets up. From where you’re still hiding in the stuffy darkness underneath your blanket, you hear his footsteps return and the muted thud of the glass getting placed on your bedside table.

The silence returns, but you can feel his presence. You imagine he’s staring at your blanket lump on the bed.

Finally, the heavy quietness is broken with a deep breath, and you hear him say softly, “Get a good night’s rest, okay? Let’s talk about this tomorrow.”

The light clicks off and you’re plunged into lonely pitch-black darkness. In the distance, you hear the heavy opening and closing of your front door as Namjoon leaves.

Unearthing yourself to the coolness of the night, your dress an uncomfortable lump around your waist, your breasts slightly sore from his previous ministrations, you stare up at the ceiling as hot tears leak out.

It’s well into the afternoon by the time you drag yourself out of bed the next day. Sleep came intermittently and was far from restful, but waking up meant facing the nightmarish reality of what had transpired. So you hid under the covers for as long as you could. But you know you can’t stay there forever.

The buzzing notifications of your phone had woken you up on more than one occasion in the night. But you ignore it and leave your phone next to the glass of water - still untouched - in favor of washing up. It’s more pressing anyway, you surmise. You can feel your make-up, now icky and caked on your face. It’s awful. Your skin is probably revolting against you now and you don’t even want to think about the mess it probably left on your pillowcase. But last night, you were simply paralyzed by the weight of what you’d done, crying till sleep finally came for you.

You take your time going through an extensive skincare routine, even busting out the clay mask you had impulsively bought together with Yeri when it was on discount. You’re doing it because your skin needs the pampering and definitely not because you’re procrastinating getting to your phone.

But there’s only so many steps you can do with the limited skincare products in your apartment. And you know your friends are probably worried about your abrupt disappearance last night. Getting to those messages first, you quickly assure Soo-eun and Yeri that you’re safe at home. Looking at the remaining notifications, you sigh.

Missed calls Namjoon (8)

7 unread messages from 2 chats Namjoon: are you still sleeping? Namjoon: hey, you still asleep? Namjoon: text me when you’re up please? Namjoon: are you awake?

Dong-In: hey! Dong-In: not sure what exactly happened at the end there haha, but it was rly great seeing u again. Dong-In: i’m still waiting on that brunch reschedule, by the way.

Memories from last night come back to you. Dong-In runs his hands through his curls, an easy grin on his face as he leans in to listen to you over the loud music of the club. Things are simple with Dong-In. And, standing on the precipice of a mental spiral whenever you think of Namjoon, the same craving for simplicity from last night returns.

[2:06pm] ____: well it’s a little late for brunch right now

[2:06pm] ____: but you still up to grab a bite?

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descendantofthesparrow · 3 years

Text

Interlude - Rewrite POYW - Part 5 - Future vision and new VKs

-two days later(August 2016)-

Uma perked up from the small sea glass bead bracelet she was working on, a smirk growing on her face as you appeared from the brush of the forest and walked toward her, a black bag in your right hand full of food. “Took you long enough, I even started working on this!” Uma held up the unfinished bracelet and set it to her side, making grabby hands at your bag as you stepped closer to her “Gimmie, I know you brought pineapple wedges.”

You laughed a bit and held out the bag to her, taking the bag off your back and taking out a towel and laying it down on the sand before sitting next to Uma “I brought your pineapple wedges” which Uma was already getting into “Some mac and cheese that Gil made, chicken breast, cornbread, and some packs of apple juice. bone app a teeth” Uma gave you a look at your last couple of words but shook her head at your grin.

“Weirdo” she mumbled, pulling out the containers filled with chicken and a fork, popping open the lip, and chowing down “Damn, who made the chicken?”

“Someone in the kitchen” you chuckled, picking up the box of cornbread and grabbing one to eat “Harry, Gil, and I didn’t feel like eating in the cafeteria last night so we took some of the food from the kitchen that the students have access to that was in the ‘take whatever you want’ fridge that the chefs load up with so much shit, and Gil made the mac and cheese like a day ago, everything is pretty fresh” Uma shoveled some of the mac and cheese into her mouth and groaned, her eyes fluttering.

“Fuck that’s good, even on the isle Gil was a good chef, he needs to cook more” you laughed at that, grabbing a box of apple juice and stabbing it into the top.

“He does, he makes bomb cookies too.” Uma perked up at that, giving you a look that said ‘bring me the cookies or I drown you’ “Hey! Don’t give me that look! Next time he makes cookies I’ll bring ‘em, okay??” Uma continued to stare at you with that look before nodding, satisfied with your answer.

“So?” Uma swallowed her food and dug out an apple juice box from your back, pointing at you with it in her hand “Updates, what happened with the new vks? I saw the limo go in and out two days ago.”

“Complete success, we got Harriet, CJ, Sammy Smee, Skipper and Sterling, and Dizzy all off the isle, and they’re all at the dorms now, Harriet’s gonna be transferred to the college next quarter and school starts next-next week” Uma nodded at your explanation, twirling the fork in her hands. “Your hair looks really good by the way” Uma looked at you, a soft smile on her face.

She had undone her braids about a week ago, to let the ocean water properly flow through the strands, and now rested against her back and shoulders in thick curls. “Thank you” she hummed, picking at her cornbread “I've been trying to get the…shrimp smell out”

You furrowed your brows and reached up, stopping yourself a few inches from her hair “May I touch your hair?” Uma glanced at you, slightly surprised you had asked, and nodded. Tilting her head a bit as you gently tugged on a lock of her hair. “it’s really soft, and personally I don’t smell anything bad, especially not shrimp, more…the ocean and coconut” Uma laughed a bit as you released her hair and set your hand back on your knee.

“I've been using coconut to take care of my hair…good to know it's working” you smiled to yourself as a soft grin grew on Uma’s face, one of her hands reaching up and curling a lock around her finger.

“Yeah… Evie's business is picking up” Uma raised her brow, as if saying ‘nice subject change, and I care why?’ “Well” you laughed, pushing Uma’s shoulder a bit as she rolled her eyes “hold up a moment im getting to the good part, but her business is picking up and Harry works for her as a model” Uma’s brows raised at that, “Told you, anyway he works for her as a model and with her business picking up, he models for her more often and she's paying him for it, soooo Harry’s getting fucking moneys~”

Uma hummed and picked at her chicken slice “Really? How much?” you grinned, making Uma sit up and grab at your shoulders “Okay how fucking much is Harry making from modeling; because that grin tells me he’s already rich.”

“He very well might be in a year or two” you laughed, gently removing her hands from your shoulders and readjusting your sitting position. “somewhere between 30 and a thousand per paycheck” Uma gave you a blank stare for a few moments before she rolled her eyes.

“Okay don’t tell me then, sheesh” you fell back as you laughed, Uma twisting around and sitting cross-legged, picking up another apple juice box and sipping at it.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry, um, Harry and Evie said it should increase as her business grows n stuff, but right now he’s making about eight hundred a paycheck.” Uma turned to you with wide eyes, mouth dropping open slightly in shock.

“whaaat?!” she screeched, dropping the now empty apple juice box into the sand “Eight-hundred?! That’s more-that’s more than I've made in a month at my ma’s shop!!” you laughed a bit, nodding your head as Uma continued to stare at you bewildered.

“Yeah, he’s already put a lot of it into a savings account, something about getting an apartment for us in the future with room for the Smee boys and his sisters if they ever needed a place to stay, but that won't be for another year or two since you have to be 18 to rent an apartment without parental permission.” Uma smiled a bit, Harry was one to think of the future, even on the isle. He would stash away rubies and gold coins in a savings stash under a floorboard in his old apartment for when they got off the isle.

“That sounds nice, make sure he gets one with a pool for me yeah?” you laughed again, shaking your head a bit as you and Uma side fist-bumped.

“I’ll make sure of that yeah” you took out your phone and sighed, standing from the beach and wiping the sand from your pants “I got to go, Ben wanted me for a meeting at 1, I'll get the bag when I come back tomorrow, see you!” Uma accepted the crouch side hug from you and waved you off, casting a spell to keep water off and out of the containers of food and the bag as she packed it up and dove into the sea, swimming back out to her mother's old hideout.

She slowed to a stop in front of the main opening, stepping through the air bubble she had made a while back and snapping her fingers, the water disappearing off her body by magic. “There we go” she mumbled, swinging the backpack off her shoulder and walking over to the “kitchen” area of the old hideout. She stashed away the food into the “fridge” aka old spell and potion cabinet that she had cast a cold holding spell onto to turn it into a makeshift fridge.

With a wave of her hand, her clothes transformed from a tank top and calf cut cargo pants to a long-sleeved red shirt with a hook stitched to the chest and black leggings. She stretched her arms behind her back and groaned as her back pop slightly.

Uma sighed and looked around the hideout, eyes landing on the claw-shaped cauldron in the middle of the room. it was odd, being in her mother's famous lair, but…also comforting, in a strange way.

She couldn't explain it, but…she felt safe. Probably because the only people that came around here were teens or kids on a dare and were easily scared off. So Uma was pretty much alone in the deep of the ocean.

Uma walked over to the little corner she had turned into her bedroom and sat on her bed, picking up the orange blanket you had given her cotillion night and curling it around her, staring off into space as she thought about…well everything.

From the new vks, the transfer plan, her boys, you, the isle, the vks still on the isle…the future was so unknown, what she would give for just a glimpse, just so she wasn’t so scared for it.

wait

Uma’s eyes widened, drifting between the clawed cauldron and a small set of books that were hidden behind her mother's vanity.

She could see into the future!

Uma lept off her bed and towards the books, pulling them out until she found one with the symbol of twisting water and tentacles appeared in her hands “there you are” she whispered, she had gone through these books when she found the lair and in them, she found hundreds of spells and potion instructions ranging from simple hair or visualization spells to transfiguration and curses.

“Future vision, future vision, future-ah!” Uma landed on the page she needed and stood, walking over to the cauldron and conjuring a stand for her to set the book on. She set it down and read the instructions, it seemed she would need to both make a potion and use an incantation.

“Okay, I got this” she let out a breath, rubbing her hands together as she spun around and walked over to her mother's old ingredient cabinet.

The tail of a sea worm, the clenched fist of a long-dead merman, the head of a fish, wings of a dust fairy pixie, and the eye of a seer. She carried the items over to the cauldron, casting a levitating spell to keep them next to her as she reviewed the spell.

“Okay, okay I got this” she took another breath, opening the caldron and tossing the ingredients in, leaning back a bit as smoke and vapor released from the cauldron. “Oof, okay”

Uma took one last look at the book, muttering the incantation to herself as she held the eye of a seer above the cauldron.

Finally, as she dropped the eye into the brew, and she clutched her necklace as the incantation echoed around her.

“Though winters past and summers morn, the future will be shown/the sight clear and sounds echo, I see into a world unknown”

Uma leaned back a bit as golden shimmering dust rose from the cauldron, slowly forming into a shape…of the isle. “The isle?” Uma mumbled, leaning closer to the image, squinting as she watched the golden magic bridge build and a limo enter the isle, the main bridge part looked very different than the rundown broken castle-like area she was used to, it looked to be rebuilt with signs on the front. “They’re getting more kids, when is this?”

The isle disappeared and was replaced with the image of a golden calendar, showing the present date then suddenly the pages were torn off at a rapid pace, Uma desperately trying to keep up with the passing dates before it stopped.

Uma blinked and looked closer, her brows furrowing as she looked at the circled date. “August 2nd…2019?!” Uma took a step back, her hands clenching at her side, three years? The vision she had seen before was in almost three years? But…it could possibly be one of many pick-ups? “How many vks have been picked up between the six from two days ago and the vks from the vision just before” Uma hoped the spell worked like this, she was in for shit if it didn’t.

Thankfully, that’s how the spell seemed to work, the image of the calendar disappeared and the sand like magic stayed dormant, shifting within the caldron…it seemed the spell didn’t know how to answer that question “Maybe I need to make it clearer?” Uma hummed, tapping her fingers against the rim of the cauldron before it came it her “How long will it be between the six vks two days ago and the next transfer of vks.”

The calendar appeared again, now first showing the date of two days ago, and then ripping off the pages rapidly “Oh no.” Uma muttered, sinking down to her knees slightly as the calendar stopped at August 2nd 2019 again. “two and a half years? Seriously?! What the fuck?!” Uma growled and knocked over the stand that held the spellbook and whirled back around at the cauldron “Why does it take so long!?”

The calendar disappeared again and was replaced with a long table with about twelve people sitting around it, and she could recognize King Ben sitting at the end, his head held in his hands as the others all held a hand up, glowering at the young king. “His council?” Uma murmured, looking at the faces of the people to see if she recognized anybody, only able to pick out Aurora mother, who had her hand up, and ex-king Luis, Cinderella’s father-in-law, who had his hand down, seeming to be on Ben’s side of whatever they were debating.

“What did they vote for?” Uma asked, biting her lip as the council disappeared and a paper took its place, the top reading ‘Application for juvenile Reunification’. Uma furrowed her brows, confused for a moment before she kept reading, rage bubbling in her gut as she did. “They have to fucking apply??! Just to get the freedom they deserve?! Do they agree to this?!”

The application disappeared and was replaced with the moving image of Ben and (y/n), Harry glaring at the king just behind (y/n). (y/n) was yelling, so was Ben, both motioning to the paper in (y/n)s hand. “That must be the application thing or whatever” Uma muttered, smirking as (y/n) crumbling it in her fist and shook it in Ben’s face.

Ben seemed to nod and point at it, and Uma leaned in reading his lips ‘that’s what I want to do (y/n), but I can’t! When they overrule me, I can't do anything about it! I’m sorry, but if we don’t go by their rules then we don’t get kids off the isle im sorry!’

(y/n) shook her fist in his face again and turned, walking towards Harry and burying her face in his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and glared at Ben, Uma leaning in again to read their lips. Ben spoke first ‘I am sorry, I’ll try to get everything ready as soon as possible, but some of it is going to take almost two years, maybe almost three! Especially the shelter and cps agency, and the council required those to be done before we can even send out the applications’ Harry stared at Ben for a moment before looking down at (y/n) and pulling her tighter into him.

‘Get it done beasty boy’ Harry seemed to growl, his lip set in a slight snarl ‘and quick, if this takes longer than yeh say, you’ll be hanging from the mast’ Ben nodded, turning back to his desk and picking up a thick folder.

‘I'll hold you to that’ Ben said back, about to say something else but the image disappeared before Uma’s eyes before he could finish.

“Dammit,” Uma muttered, rubbing her with her palms as she grit her teeth. It was the same reason they had taken so long after Ben had promised to get her off the isle after the coronation, the council kept pushing back everything, so stuck in their old ways of thought that they just couldn’t bear to have more vks in Auradon.

“Bastards” Uma growled, standing from the floor and looking back in the cauldron, it seemed the spell had finished, and she wouldn’t be able to ask any more questions about the future. “Ben, (y/n), I hope to Hades you don’t fuck this up for those kids”

Celia couldn’t help but keep her eyes locked on the spot where the Auradon limo had been parked only two days ago, the spot where Dizzy had left her on the isle.

Dizzy had promised to get her off next, whispering it in Celia’s ear as Dizzy hugged her tightly just before she left. Dizzy was hardly one to break a promise, even in a place where promises were never kept, so Celia trusted her.

She just hoped that trust wouldn’t be proved wrong.

Celia sighed, looked at her watch, and realized she had to go pick up some stuff for Hades before her usual fortune-telling shift in front of the arcade.

She quickly traveled to the market and snatched up some cans of corn, cans of refried beans, and a large loaf of bread, that was only a day past its baking date. Celia took another loaf for herself and her dad, suppressing the smile she had as she walked towards the mines.

it was nice having actual food to eat, Celia no longer went hungry every other night and no longer needed to scrounge for money to get the food that was being kept on the market thanks to Harriet's crew that was making sure the merchants weren’t keeping the food away from everybody due to selling it at a high price as they usually did for the better food as they did before the program.

“Celia~” A velvety voice cooed behind her, and Celia turned, raising her brow as she spotted Ginny Gothel, Mother Gothel’s daughter. Ginny Gothel was a flirt, a heavy-set young woman who dared to blow a kiss to Harriet and survive. her dark curly hair was in a short bob that showed the shaved part of her neck. her face, which was always either set in a glare or a flirtatious smirk, was painted with dark makeup. she collected crystals and rings to adorn herself, black and dark red fabrics flowed around her body when she strut down the market place with pride. she was a part of the older villain kids, so respect came with her presence.

“Celia darling~” Ginny cooed; Celia just slowly nodded to show she was listening “do you think you can ask Dizzy if she's got an opening? I need a touch up” Ginny's hand reached up and brushed against the back of her neck where her hair was beginning to overgrow where it was supposed to be. Celia huffed, fixing her grip on her supplies for hades.

“First, I ain't in charge of her and you can go find out yourself I ain't your errand rant, second, Dizzy left two days ago” Ginny's eyes went wide at that “She's in Auradon now, with all those prissy people, so tough luck, eh?” Ginny groaned and leaned heavily back against the wall she was next to, throwing her arm over her eyes.

“Noooo how am I ever going to get my hair cut now?! Dizzy was the only one to understand exactly what I needed!...” her arm dropped to her side as she pouted, looking back at Celia who just stared at her with bored eyes “Well I could go to the hearts salon but I do not trust that mad queen with those sheers”

“Suck it up and get it cut you weenie” Celia snarked, smirking as Ginny scoffed at her and walked off, presumably to the queen of hearts salon.

Celia shrugged Ginny's dramatic attitude off and made her way to the mines.

Ginny sighed dramatically, rubbing her hands against the back of her neck again, she really did need a touch-up. But Dizzy was in Auradon and she was the only hair person Ginny trusted with her hair. The last time she went to the hearts salon she ended up with the wrong cut and length.

But then again. Ginny stopped in the middle of the street, hands on her hips as she pouted at the floor, she really-really needed a touch-up on her undercut.

Fuck it, if it got fucked up, she’d fix it herself.

She twisted on her heel and walked over to the side of the isle that housed the red-hearts salon. She pushed the main door open and crossed her arms, her dark amber eyes scanning the customers and workers.

“Ey darling, you here for a cut or a dye?” Ginny turned, smirking as she locked eyes with one of her closest cohorts on the isle, Colin Hearts. The only other person she trusted with her hair, she had hoped they were working today, and lucky for her they were.

Colin was a lanky teen, their heels making them seem taller than they really were. they always seemed to wear flowing shirts and tight pants, and wore five-inch heels more often than not. Their natural dark red hair had been cut into a fluffy bright red Mohawk and their brown eyes were hidden behind purple contact lenses. Their teasing lips were always painted with black lipstick, and their nails sharp and red.

Ginny walked to her “friend” and they shared a quick handshake they had made when both of them were young. “Yeah, due for a buzz on my undercut, think you can do that for me, hun?” Colin looked up at the ceiling, their painted lips in a false thinking pout “Colin.” Colin smirked at Ginny's low tone and nodded.

“Yeah, I can do that for you, come on~ you know my station~” Ginny gave tight-lipped smile to Colin and strut over to the scarlet red chair with painted white hearts that Colin had decked out a while ago to claim it as their station.

Ginny sat down and crossed her legs, examining her black nails as Colin settled behind her. “So just a touch up, eh?” Colin murmured aloud, Ginny nodded in confirmation, leaning her head back to peer at Colin.

“Don’t fuck it up or I take those red lace pumps you treasure so much” Ginny grinned as Colin gasped at that and pushed their hand to their chest at her threat.

“How dare you~!” the two shared a nasty grin and Colin reached for their electric clippers, throwing the hair catcher towel around Ginny's neck and turning the clippers on. “So did you hear that Harriet ‘n her sister left to Auradon two days ago?” Ginny gasped at that “Really?” Colin leaned into Ginny's line of sight “You’re obsessed with that girl; I’m surprised you didn’t sense the moment she left the barrier” Colin chuckled at Ginny's glare and went back to her hair.

“Dizzy’s left too” Ginny sighed, twitching as Colin let out a small laugh.

“I know, if she wasn’t you wouldn’t be here” Colin lifted up the back of Ginny's hair and started to buzz her undercut, going quiet as they focused on not cutting more than Ginny wanted.

“Smee’s boys left too, all three of ‘em” Colin muttered, shaving the design into Ginny’s undercut “Six more vks off the isle, wonder if any more will follow” Ginny hummed at that, watching Colin in the mirror as they worked at her hair. That was a question, would there be more vks to follow the six that left two days ago?… Ginny hoped so, she would love to get off the isle and away from her mother.

“Think they’ll pick any of us if it continues?” Ginny asked, leaning on her hand as Colin tilted her head. Colin shrugged after a moment.

“Dunno, maybe not us, but-” they nodded their head to the right, Ginny's eyes following to see Diego De’vil sitting in the salon chair reading a book as one of Colin’s coworkers finished on cutting his hair “-Diego maybe, considering he and Carlos are cousins there might be more of a reason” Diego looked over at them, raising his brow “Ey im not talking negative, just possibilities” he sighed and went back to his book, rolling his shoulders a bit.

Diego was a strapping young man, the older cousin of Carlos and the lead singer and guitarist of the Bad Apples. when he was younger, he would sneer at those who would either compare his looks to his much smaller at the time cousin or accidentally call him Carlos. nowadays he took a bit more pride in being Carlos’ cousin. his hair was cut into a short-brushed back Mohawk that transitioned from black at the roots to white at the edges, similar to Carlos’ hair. he wore red and black most of the time, decorated with spikes and pins with hard combat boots and patched-up jeans. his fingers were calloused from years of guitar picking and freckles decorated his face and shoulders.

Colin's coworker finished up refining his mohawk and took the towel from his shoulders, Diego stood and placed a handful of silver coins into the worker's hands. They nodded and walked to the register as Diego examined himself in the mirror “so De’vil?” He turned to look at Colin, who was brushing off the buzzed hair from Ginny's shoulders “Do ya think your cousin will get you off of here or nah?” Diego stared at them for a moment then shrugged.

“Dunno” he grumbled, grabbing his jacket from the counter and slipping it on “Not up to me, but I’ll do anything to get away from my maniac of an aunt, she keeps mistaking me for Carlos” Ginny and Colin winced at that, remembering the old days when the once runt-like Carlos would run out from Hell Hall with a screaming Cruella behind him, a burning cigarette in her hand.

Pity wasn’t a thing on the isle but many of the younger isle residents would take it upon themselves to keep Carlos away from his deranged mother when possible, even Mal had done it when she was younger and much more…nasty, it was like seeing a puppy being kicked while it was already down, you couldn’t help but just care for it.

Then once Mal created her little group the incidents where Carlos ran away from his brother bruised and bloody lessened, until they completely stopped because he was in Auradon.

Now Cruella, ever the insane woman, attempted to chase after Diego, but Diego was stronger and taller than Carlos ever was against Cruella, and easily battered her away when he needed to.

Cruella didn’t bother him much after the first fist to her face.

Diego waved Colin and Ginny goodbye and walked out of the salon, making his way towards the rundown movie theater for band practice. He turned down an ally for a shortcut and appeared on the other side in the market, making his way down the market to get to the other side of the main street, where the theater was.

As he walked someone caught his eye, and he looked to his right, seeing Claudine Frollo picking through a basket of apples for whatever reason, probably her father making her do the grocery shopping.

Claudine was the bell ringer for dragon hall, she was quiet and soft-spoken, hardly talking to anyone her father didn't approve of. she wore clothes that covered her almost completely, as her father said it ‘keeps the sinful eyes of others away’. her sunflower curly blonde hair was always wrapped in a tight bun, it always got caught in her cross-necklace chain if it was let free. many assumed Claudine was a weak girl, her small frame and wide doe-like green eyes didn't help with the assumption, only to be in for a surprise when it was learned she could knock someone out with one clean punch, bell-ringing every day wasn't an easy task after all. she had many pursuers, many of which didn't go any farther after they were reminded of who her father was.

Diego stepped next to her and grabbed an apple, remembering he was wanting a snack before he had gone in for a haircut. She jumped slightly, turning to him with scared eyes before she realized it was him.

“Oh, hi Diego” Claudine mumbled, going back to grabbing some apples and stuffing them in her black and violet messenger bag.

“Hey” he mumbled back, picking up a sturdy-looking apple and biting into it, suppressing a smile at the crisp texture and sweet taste, fresh apples were so much better than he’d ever thought it be.

Claudine finished filling her bag and nodded at Diego, bidding him ‘adieu’ and turning to go the opposite way Diego had been going. Diego watched her for a moment before turning on his heel and resuming his walk towards the theater.

He arrived soon after and pushed open the doors, walking down towards the left hall past the broken-down arcade and stepping into the 2nd theater on the right.

“Eyyyyy look whose finally ‘ere~” his drummer, Ezekiel, called out to him, as he was sitting down on the stage in front of the screen. Diego nodded to him and climbed up the steps up to the stage, nodding at his bass player and secondary guitarist as they messed with their instruments “What took ya so long?”

“Haircut and snack” Diego shrugged, tossing the apple core to Ezekiel, who gagged and tossed the core into the trash a few feet away “let's get to it”

“Yeah~” Eva, his secondary guitarist and support singer, finished with her guitar and set up the mics and speakers. “Let's do dis~”

Kuvira, his bass player, nodded swinging their bass onto their back, and helped Eva set up the last of their gear.

Ezekiel plopped into his chair and spun his drumsticks between his fingers, grinning at Diego as he took out his guitar and threw the strap around his neck “So what shall we start with~”

“…” Diego looked off to the side for a moment, going through the mental list of their songs. “Different Evil Incoming, let's do that, it’s a wicked warm-up song” his band members nodded, setting up their instruments, following Diego’s lead as he started to shred on his guitar.

Claudine let out a sigh of relief as she stepped into her ‘home’, her father must have still been at his church service. She glanced at the calendar on the wall and closed her eyes, he had marked it as an all-day service which meant she was alone in the house until midnight.

Thank the gods.

She walked up the stairs to her room and unpacked her food into the fridge in her room, going back downstairs to pack away her father's food in the cabinets. Her father shunned modern technology, calling it the devil's work.

But Claudine would rather have her food last just a bit longer than they did in the cabinets.

Claudine took off her jacket and stretched her arms, groaning a bit as her back popped, she scanned the living room/kitchen once to look for anything out of place, and when she found nothing, she grabbed her jacket and ran back up to her room.

She closed the door behind her and took off her thick sweater, grabbing a thinner long-sleeved shirt and pulling it on, sighing in relief to be free of the slightly constricting fabric.

She glanced at her clock and smiled, it was hardly even one-thirty, she had plenty of alone time before her ‘father’ was home. As she grabbed her favorite book and walked to her closet, which was the only way to access the attic of the apartment, her mind flashed back to when she was much younger.

She was barely 4 years old when her mother died, leaving her scared and alone in their home. She didn’t know how much time had passed after that but she knew she was very hungry and very tired, that’s when Claude Frollo stepped into her mother's home and found her.

He had been looking for her mother after her mother had missed several church services, and with how devoted her mother was to the church it had ticked off the ‘that’s odd’ box for Frollo.

He found her, and in thanks to her mother for being so devoted to the church, adopted her, claiming her as his own and raising her under the name of ‘god’.

It had been 13 years since then, and Claudine had all but forgotten the face of her mother. She brushed away the memory of the day she had been found by her adoptive father and pulled herself into the attic carefully stepping around her piles of books, pillows, and blankets and settling into the corner next to the window, where she could read in peace with the natural light illuminating her favorite fantasy book.

Her father always said these books were works of the devil, but Claudine loved them too much to care, she knew they were fake but they allowed her mind to wander to a place far from the isle of the lost.

She set the book on her lap and opened it, beginning to read.

Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy.

-one week after the new vks are transferred to Auradon-

Ben growled into his hand as he glared down at the new documents the council had presented to him. ‘we hereby overrule the vk transfer plan, it is rushed and unplanned, you bringing six villain children over with no security checks or going through their history on the isle will doom Auradon’

While he and (y/n) had figured out the council couldn’t change the rules of his first proclamation or straight up say no to it, they had forgotten if they got enough evidence or if the whole council agreed they could shut the program down.

Luckily Ben had been able to salvage the isles fresh food and necessities program as it had high security going in and out of the barrier and the Auradon guards personally handed out the shipments to make sure no one snuck anyone or anything back into the ship.

Only one person on the council had gone against the rest, ex-king Luis, Prince Charming’s father. He understood the need to continue to get innocent children off the isle and had adamantly refused to vote against it, and helped Ben salvage the fresh food program.

Ex-queen Leah had been the biggest voice against Ben, and he knew she had orchestrated the meeting and the others to cut off the transfer program, she was still angry at Ben for bringing over the daughter of the fae that had “ruined” her daughter's childhood and ruined her motherhood.

Luckily, Ben had found a loophole, he had shown them his plans for the CPS and shelter, where each vk would have an adult to be in charge of them and a place to stay away from the general population and the council agreed that he could continue the vk transfer plan.

But only once he had finished building both the CPS and the shelter, then they demanded that there would be a more thorough screening of the villain children. In the way of applications, they would give their name, parents' name, fingerprints, an essay about why they wanted to come to Auradon, and then a section for the villain children to tell them about their lives on the isle. And then the council would go through the applications and THEY would approve of who was allowed to come to Auradon, and then Ben could choose out of their approved applications

Ben was angry, very, very angry. All the progress that he made within the last two months, gone. Only a day ago he was able to just point at a vk and say ‘you’re coming to Auradon’ and it could happen, with hardly any mess, yes, he would have to get a guardian for them and then get them approved by the school board for a new student and then get the new vk approved to live in the dorms but, that was a lot fewer hoops to jump through then this new application bullshit which would take so much more time.

And he wouldn’t even be able to be the first person to look at the applications as an unbiased person, they would go through cooky old people who still held on to their grudges against these kids’ parents, and pass that grudge onto the kid who wasn’t even born during that time!

Ben threw down the file containing the new guidelines for the transfer plan and buried his face in his hands. The shelter alone would take almost a year to be fully refurbished to be able to comfortably house hundreds of kids that ranged from toddlers to barely adults, then the CPS?? There was so much more to that than on the surface, he had to hire people, make sure they were certified, give them a place to base out of, get them trained to be able to handle the kids off the isle who most of which were probably traumatized! Get therapists ready, medical staff, kitchen staff, living wages, and so much more that just made Ben's head hurt.

Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to make a sixteen-year-old a king? His own father wasn’t king until he was well past his teens, why did he think his kid would be ready for all of this so much earlier than he did?

Ben sighed, lifting his head and rubbing his eyes, this was all going to take over a year, at least, possibly two, maybe almost 3. so the vks would just sit there and wait until they in Auradon were ready to have them come.

Ben felt rage bubbling in his gut, he just wanted to say fuck it and continue doing it the way he was, except with more kids each round. He wanted to go to the isle and just scream at the top of his lungs ‘those who wish to live in Auradon follow me!’ and be able to give those kids the freedom they deserved.

Ben’s anger-filled thought stopped at the sound of slamming on his door. ‘(y/n)’ Ben thought, slightly nervous. He had sent a text to the group chat telling everyone about the council's interference and it was safe to say no one was happy.

Mal had never responded but he heard that there was a new hole in the dorm building wall (which she thankfully repaired but it didn’t stop her from being pissed and deciding to go out for a fly to burn off her anger), Evie had let off a wide range of curse words, some of which were definitely not English, Jay had sent a flurry of random letters and a small rant, Carlos had chucked his phone and was busy repairing it.

And (y/n), Harry, and Gil? Gil was understanding, knowing Ben had no part in it, but the other two? (y/n) had gone silent, and so had Harry.

That was never a good thing.

Ben stood and walked over to his door, dragging his feet slightly as he did. He unlocked it and quickly took a step back as the door swung open and he was greeted by (y/n) and Harry's pissed-off faces.

“So what's this I hear about a meddling council” (y/n) hissed, stepping into the room with Harry following her, closing the door with his foot, and locking it. Watching as (y/n) stormed over to Ben's desk and picked up the file. “How could you let them do this?! Do you know how long it been for those kids?! Eight months!! And now you are going to let them wait even longer!? Fuck that!” (y/n) crumbled the file in her hands and Ben gestured to it as he gave a pleading look to (y/n)

“That’s what I want to do (y/n), but I can’t! When they overrule me, I can't do anything about it! I’m sorry, but if we don’t go by their rules then we don’t get kids off the isle…I’m sorry.”

(y/n) shook her fist in his face again and turned, walking towards Harry and burying her face in his chest, he wrapped his arms around her and glared at Ben. The two stared at each other for a moment, waiting to see who spoke first. Ben took the first word “I really am sorry, I’ll try to get everything ready as soon as possible, but some of it is going to take almost two years, maybe almost three! especially the shelter and CPS agency, and the council required those to be done before we can even send out the applications”

Harry stared at Ben for a moment before looking down at (y/n) and pulling her tighter into him.

“Get it done beasty boy” Harry seemed to growl, his lip set in a slight snarl “And quick, if this takes longer than yeh say, you’ll be hanging from the mast” Ben nodded, stepping towards (y/n) slightly and taking the crumbled file from her hands.

“I'll hold you to that” Ben sighed, stepping back and setting the file on his desk “In fact I’ll remind you if it does…what are we going to do about those kids in the meantime?”

“We can't let them sit there in the dark.” (y/n) mumbled, pulling away from Harry's chest and looking towards Ben “You remember the last time we did that, with Uma? You said she thought Harry and Gil abandoned her. We can't let those kids think we are abandoning them again; we need to let them know we’re doing everything we can”

“And we will” Ben nodded, the fire igniting in his chest again as he realized not all hope was lost “Those kids will know that we aren’t abandoning them. Through a newscast or a radio, I don’t know, but we'll let them know”

You and Harry nodded at Ben, who nodded back. “We'll figure this out.” Ben walked around his desk and sat down, glaring at the file. “We won't let them down.”

-end of part 5-

Part 5! and Uma can see into the future~!! also yep the council are dicks and prevent Ben from doing everything easily. also yep more vks! more to come about them in future parts! hope you enjoyed!

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@musicarose @random-thoughts-003

@remembered-license @rintheemolion

@verboetoperee @imtryingthisout @thecaptainsgingersnap @jatp-rules-my-life

#Descendents #descendants #disney descendants #harry hook x reader #harry hook #harry hook descendants #harry hook imagine #interlude #finale #shuffle playlist #rewrite

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horansqueen · 5 years

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 40

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: sorry? it had to happen. its not that bad yea?

btw, i forgot to add a request that i filled last chapter so i just added the screenshot to the last chapter. so to whoever requested them to look at old pictures together, obviously it was in chapter 39 and it was for you :)

oh and no request for this chapter, probably next one! :(

Chapter 40 : His chapter

NIALL

I was surprised to see her already awake when my alarm rang in the morning but I understood exactly why when I finally sat in bed after everything was ready. She was shaking one of her legs, looking nervously around the room and although I felt a bit bad for her, the whole scene was a bit funny too.

"Darling, come here."

Her eyes finally met mine and I sent her a smile, raising my eyebrows to incite her to get closer. She finally took the few steps that separated us and I pulled her between my legs, slipping my hands in the back pockets of her jeans as she looked down at me. She stared in my eyes and sighed and my gaze dropped to her lips when she licked them.

"A penny for your thoughts?" I asked in a low tone, tilting my chin up to look at her better.

"You've got all the money in the world, you could at least offer me a bit more I mean, a penny?"

Her lips curled and it made me laugh as I pulled her closer. Her hands slipped in my hair and I let out a low sigh.

"I know it's not easy, and i'm gonna miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day." I let out, making her roll her eyes with a small smile. "But hey, we'll facetime every night and i'll text you and send you pictures... okay?"

Slowly, she nodded and tilted her head as her hair fell around our faces, hiding us from the world. I was torn between being excited and happy for the trip or sad and nervous about leaving her behind and somehow, all these emotions made a weird mix, forming a lump in my throat.

"Do you promise..." she started so low I barely heard, letting her fingers brush down my cheek, jaw and neck before grabbing the collar of my shirt. "...to be faithful to me?"

I hadn't expected the question and I moved my upper body back a bit to see her better as my eyebrows raised. I could hear my heartbeats accelerate but I wasn't sure why. Was I hurt by her question, or did it make me mad that she could think that of me?

"I.. hate this question, but i'm gonna answer anyway." Her eyes finally met mine and I could read in them that she felt bad for asking, but that it was stronger than her. I felt my body relax a bit and sighed. "I promise. You're the only one for me, and i'm not going to cheat on you. Physically or emotionally."

Her lips curled more and it made me smile too. I tried to tell myself that she was insecure and that it's why she needed to hear these things a lot, but I couldn't help the feeling of annoyance creeping inside my stomach. i tried to ignore it, if only because I wanted our last moments together to be happy, and shrugged my shoulders slightly.

"Are you coming with me to the airport?"

Her eyes dropped to her hands now both playing with the collar of my shirt and she started nibbling her bottom lip. She looked vulnerable, sad, and slightly embarrassed but the first thing I ended up thinking as i looked at her was how much I loved her.

"I'd rather not." she finally admitted, shrugging a shoulder. "I know i'd be emotional and I don,t want to cry in front of everyone and your fans and paps if they end up being there. And I don't want to drive back home by myself, I know i'll be crying the whole time."

I waited for her eyes to finally meet mine but it didn't happen.

"Hey." I let out gently. "I understand."

Her gaze finally moved up to meet mine and she mouthed a 'thank you'. I had the feeling she was on the verge of tears and I finally got up, keeping my arms around her and bending down to kiss her lips.

"How long do we have left?" she asked in a whisper, her lips brushing against mine.

"Like, 15 minutes." I let out low too, walking slowly her way and forcing her to take a few steps back until her back leaned on the wall. "They're about to pick me up."

"And you've got everything ready?" she asked, tilting her chin up to send me a cheeky smile.

I smirked back and chuckled, bringing both of my hands to the button of her jeans while still staring in her eyes.

"Almost." I joked, bringing my lips back on hers to kiss her deeply as I moved her pants down.

She whimpered low against my lips and squirmed a bit, finally taking her jeans and panties off and pushing them away with one of her feet. I laughed against her mouth as she pulled on my shorts too, leaving them right under my ass and when she took my cock out, I groaned low, my lips leaving hers. I leaned my forehead against hers and stared at her as I grabbed one of her thighs to place it around my waist.

"13 minutes." she joked, making me smile again. "Please do it."

I felt the tip of my dick press against her pussy and I watched her lick her fingers and bring her hand between us. Quickly, she rubbed herself and grabbed my dick, jerking me off slowly with her wet hand and I felt my eyes flutter a bit at her touch. It made me realize I was going to miss this more than I thought I would. The sex was good with her and I always wanted more. Being without her for six weeks wasn't going to be easy. She placed two of her fingers on each side of my cock as I pushed it slowly inside her and it felt so good to be inside her again that I let out a moan, pushing her hard against the wall.

"You feel amazing."

My lips found hers and I kissed her gently, feeling her fingers slip softly in my hair. I groaned low in her mouth and when she mentioned '11 minutes' I chuckled through the kiss. I moved my cock out of her very slowly and pushed it back, feeling her body tense a bit but it only took me a few seconds to speed my thrusts, pressing her more against the wall every time. I leaned my forehead against hers again and watched hr lips part as she started panting lowl.

"I love you so fucking much."

I saw her eyes flutter open at my words and her grip tightened in my hair.

"You mean so much to me." I added just as low. "I love you so much, Olivia."

Her lips found mine again and the kiss was so rough that my thrusts became unsteady. She kept her hands in my hair when our lips parted and I felt myself getting closer and closer to my orgasm.

"I love you too Niall." she whimpered very low. "More than anything and anyone."

I felt myself get dizzy and she started moaning and shaking against me. I fucked her harder to reach my own orgasm and when I did, I felt the fingers of one of my hands curl against the wall behind her while the others sunk in the skin of her thigh that was still around my waist.

"Fuck."

I spilled inside her, shutting my eyes tight as her hands slid on my neck and chest, I waited until my heartbeats came back to a normal speed and opened my eyes only to see her smile at me.

"I'm gonna think about this every single night."

My eyes roamed on her face and I smiled fondly at her.

"Me too."

I don't know how long we stared at each other but from seeing her face, I knew that telling her how much I loved her while we were having sex was a good idea. It was not even planned, I just felt it and decided to say it and I never thought the result would be so good. I heard my phone and sighed without moving. It's only when I heard it a second time that I moved away from her. I stared at her half-naked body as I moved my shorts back up and passed my hand in my hair. She quickly put her panties back on and I finally took my shirt off, handing it to her. Her lips curled and she grabbed it, tilting her head as she stared at me.

"I know that's your kind of cheesy." I explained, chuckling a bit. "I hope it doesn't smell too bad."

She brought it to her face and smiled, shaking her head.

"I sort of kept your hoodie from last night, too." she admitted, biting her bottom lip and making me laugh this time.

"It's all yours."

I grabbed my phone and read my text messages before looking up at her. She hadn't moved, she was still leaning against the wall, her head tilted lightly, looking at me, and I smiled more, moving my phone to snap a picture of her. Her eyes got bigger and her lips parted as I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Oh god you didn't take a picture of me did you?"

I laughed again and grabbed my backpack but when I turned around, she was trying to take my phone, probably to delete it.

"Love, stop!" I said with an other chuckle, grabbing her hand gently. "I promise I won't show it to anyone! It's only for me.. for all those nights without you."

Her traits softened and although I knew she didn't like it at all, she nodded slowly. I cupped her face with both my hands and kissed her deeply, ignoring the sound of my phone again.

"Six weeks is barely anything." I whispered against her mouth.

"An eternity without you." she murmured. "I'll miss you."

"Not as much as I'll miss you."

----

The ride to the airport and the process of getting aboard was long and painful and it's only when the plane took off that I finally seemed to relax. I leaned my head on the bench, feeling suddenly exhausted and closed my eyes for a while. I tried not to think about her and to focus on every place I wanted to see but it was not easy and I grabbed my phone to look at the last picture of her I had taken. Once again, she looked slightly vulnerable and it made me realize that she always turned me on when she looked like that. I ran my thumb on her over the screen of my phone and sighed, closing my eyes again for a few seconds. Did I make the right choice? Maybe I should have postponed that trip after all, right?

I jumped slightly when I received a message and opened the application on my phone only to see a selfie of my girlfriend making a grimace with the caption: 'Don't worry, i'm fine without you!' and it made me laugh. I saw she was typing and waiting until more words appeared, staring at my phone.

'Don't worry. Just have fun. I'll be there when you call. I'll be there when you come back. I love you.'

I smiled more and chuckled again, quickly typing an answer.

'You're perfect, I love you too.'

I quickly took a selfie of me blowing her a kiss and sent it to her. She answered me with a few emojis and I did the same before to switch to Louis' number. At first, I wanted to ask Harry but I realized that maybe I was a bit jealous of the relationship she had with him... or maybe I was scared that if they spent more time together, she'd forget about me and fall back for him. It was ridiculous and deep down, I knew it, but I didn't want to take the chance.

'Hey Tommo, would you and El mind checking on Liv while i'm gone?'

I was surprised to get his answer only a few seconds later and frowned a bit.

'I don't know about El but i'll entertain her, don't worry mate.'

'Is everything okay?'

'Don't worry about it, just enjoy your trip!'

I shrugged and sighed, closing the application and going back to my gallery. I started checking all the pictures of her and us on my phone and my heart twisted in my chest until I just turned my phone off and put it back in my pockets. My fingers brushed against the fabric of her panties that was hidden in the pocket of my shorts and this time, my heart literally skipped a beat. I wanted to put them in my bag but I forgot and it made me wonder if she knew I had kept them after making her cum with the vibrator I had bought for her. I knew I should have asked her before taking them but it was stronger than me and finally, I pushed them deeper in my pocket to make sure I wouldn't lose them.

I tried to sleep for a while but every single time I was about to fall asleep, an idea would pop in my head and i'd quickly grab my phone again to write a few lyrics or hum a few notes that I'd record. I always seemed to feel inspired by something and even if I had promised myself that I'd do nothing but enjoy this trip, I knew I had to write down all my ideas or i'd end up regretting it.

I was trying to get distracted from her and from the hole in my chest that her absence had seemed to dig but it was not easy. I said six weeks were going to go by very fast, she said it was going to feel like an eternity... and if I wanted to be honest, I was started to believe she may be right.

----

"Niall! Let's go!"

I tried to read the text message I had received as we walked through the crowded but small town. It was pouring, I was only wearing shorts and shoes, but I was still heavily sweating. I hadn't seem Olivia face to face in three weeks and although it was tough to be without her, I was starting to feel at ease with my decision. This trip was even more incredible than I thought even if I had to stay in crappy motels and eat cheap food. It was an experience I really had to live at least once in my life.

'I miss you too' I quickly typed with at least one mistake before hitting 'send'.

We walked in a motel and I let my backpack fall on the floor, shaking my head slightly as some water fell into my eyes and finally put my cap back on.

"Okay, let's go get a few drinks."

"Amazing idea." I replied, searching through my stuff to find a shirt. just as my phone went off again. "Fuck, I forgot, I have a facetime date tonight."

One of my cousins chuckled but I ignored it and just grabbed my phone, typing an other message quickly to my girlfriend.

'We're going out. Rain check?'

I didn't wait for an answer but still decided to bring my phone with me. We ended up drinking a few beers and meeting new people. It was fun, I was getting tipsy, and I started a conversation with the pretty girl sitting next to me. It took me about an hour to realize she was flirting with me but when she laughed, putting her hand on my thigh, I tensed. She moved her thick dark hair behind her ear and tilted her head with a smile, making me smile back. I liked her accent and her eyes and I was about to tell her about it when my phone rang. I saw Liv's face on the screen and immediately sobered up. I had changed her picture for the one she had sent me when I was on the plane and the way she grimaced on it made my heart skip a beat.

"I'm sorry." I told the pretty girl whom's name I couldn't seem to remember. "I have to answer."

I got up and walked out of the bar, letting out a 'hello?' in my phone. I brought my shoulders up when I realized it was still raining as water slipped inside my shirt, freezing me immediately despite the warm weather and the amount of alcohol in my blood.

"Oh shit, Niall?"

Her voice calmed me immediately and I smiled. I wanted to be mad that I was taken, I wanted to be annoyed with the fact that I was living the trip of a lifetime and that I couldn't sleep with a girl I just met in a bar, but as soon as her voice reached my ears, it seemed to reach my heart too. It was cheesy but I like it and I tried to take a mental note of these words to use them later.

"Olivia, are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry, I wanted to text you but my fingers slipped." she explained. "I'm having a hard time with this new phone."

I frowned, trying to stay under the small roof of the bar as people walked in and out. My shirt was already soaked and my hair was no better but I just wanted to listen to her some more.

"I didn't want to bother you, I know you're having fun, we can talk tomorrow." she quickly said. "I love you, Nee, goodnight."

"No wait!"

I had talked a bit louder than I intended and I felt something stir in my stomach. I didn't know if it was just because I missed her, or because I felt guilty for the thoughts that ran in my head only a few minutes ago when i was with an other girl, but I suddenly wanted to take a plane back home to be with her.

"I shouldn't have canceled our date, i'm going back to the motel now, I'll call you as soon as I get there."

Without thinking, I walked out in the rain quickly, my phone still pressed on my ear. The weather wasn't as bad as a few hours before but my shoes were still drenched and it made a weird sound as I walked.

"No, Niall it's okay!" she argued with a small chuckle. "I'm fine, really, you can't spend all the time talking to me, you have to visit and have fun. I'm fine here without you, remember? Or do I have to send you an other picture?"

She started laughing and my heart jumped on my chest.

"Send me as many pictures as you want. I miss your face."

This time, she kept quiet for a few seconds and when she talked again, I could hear worry in her tone.

"Are you sure, Niall? Are you sure you want us to talk tonight?"

I stopped waking, just feeling the rain fall in my eyes, trying to stop my heart from beating so fast.

"Yes."

----

It took me about half an hour to get back to the hotel and as soon as I arrived, I texted my cousin to tell them I was gone and that i'd see them in the morning. I took a quick shower, not really enjoying the bathroom but it was better than being dirty, and finally sat in bed with my phone in hands. It took her a few seconds to answer and I realized she was on her laptop. She sent me a smile as soon as she saw me and licked her lips, bringing her shoulders closer to her face.

"Hey..."

"Hey petal, how are you?"

Her eyebrows raised and her lips curled slightly more. Fuck, I wanted to kiss her.

"I'm the one who should ask you that." she pointed out. "Are you okay, Nee?"

My eyes roamed on her face and I noticed she was wearing my hoodie. The sleeves were pulled over her hands and I desperately wanted to cuddle her.

"Yea, was just missing you."

She was about to answer something when I saw someone in the corner of the screen, making me frown. I sat up better in bed and tried to see who it was, and it suddenly hit me: she was not at my house, and also not at her apartment.

"Where are you?"

As if on cue, Louis appeared and sat next to her, handing her a cup of tea. She took a quick sip and thanked him, sending him a smile. I watched them interact and my heart seemed to sink in my chest.

"I'm at Louis'." she finally let out as if it wasn't obvious already.

"Is that why you didn't want to talk?"

"I wanted to talk, Niall." she frowned slightly. "I just didn't want to bother you. We don't talk as much these days and it's okay, I know you're busy and you're having the time of your life, and I don't want you to think i'm smothering you or stopping you from living this plenty."

My anger and jealousy faltered and my traits softened as I nodded.

"Can you go back home? I'd like to talk with just you."

I knew I had no right to ask her that and I was also aware that I was the one who had asked Louis to check on her but it seemed like I was just realizing that the world was still turning there, in London, without me.

Olivia glanced at Louis who sent her a smile and started nibbling her bottom lip.

"We sort-of had something planned..."

"No it's okay Livi, I totally get it."

She finally looked back at me after a few seconds and quickly nodded, her lips curling into a big smile this time, making me believe she wanted to talk to me as much as I wanted to talk to her.

"Okay, let me call you back when i'm home."

She blew me a kiss and without giving me time to answer, she hung up. I stayed in bed, motionless, realizing that I was alone in the dark in an other country and somehow, I felt extremely pathetic at that moment. I thought about the girl I was flirting with, I thought about the fact that I wanted to kiss her and maybe more, and even if that thought had crossed my mind only for half a second, I felt like shit. It was not Olivia's fault that I was here, or that I hadn't had sex in three weeks. It was my decision and she didn't have to pay for that. I had never felt that guilty before when in a relationship and it's not like it was not normal to lust other people but for some reason, I was scared that if I could have these thoughts, perhaps she could too. She was not spending her time all alone locked in my room, waiting for me to come back, and for some weird reason, it was just hitting me now.

I don't know how long I waited but I decided to call back again, even if it meant that I would look desperate. In fact, I sort of was.

"Babe, i'm in the car." she pointed out. "I'm almost there."

She had put her phone near the dash and I could see her hands moving on the wheel. She was not looking at me but I was staring at her and even from that weird angle, she looked pretty.

"Do you know what I want to do to you?"

Her face changed and she glanced at me but I could swear I saw her cheeks turn a soft shade of red, making me smirk.

"I really want to fuck you, pet." I added low. "I want to make love to you. I want to feel your warm body beneath mine. I miss you so bad."

She chuckled. "Me or fucking me?"

"Can't it be both?" I asked, raising my eyebrows, a smirk still gracing my face.

"It can."

I watched her and kept silent as she parked the car and turned to look at me in the screen of her phone, her head slightly tilted and her hair falling on her right shoulder, exactly like the picture I had taken of her before I left.

"I miss you too, Niall." she whispered, making my heart twist. "I wish you were here."

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #amc #tell me what you thiiiiiink please

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love-mom17 · 4 years

Text

8/20/2020

****TRIGGER WARNING***

Please dont read if you cannot deal with reading bloody details or anything with a miscarriage.

Soooo here i am. I am feeling a lot better! I had a lot going on with my health and mental being and i just needed some time to myself.

SOOOO lets go back a little to let you know what went down this month... ON monday aug. 3rd i was confirmed that i was going through another miscarriage. Even though i wanted to believe that this was all a mistake. I knew it wasnt. I didnt cry during my appointment. I was kind of expecting this to happen even though i wished it wasnt that way. My sac had collapsed completely. THere was no sight of anything. I was prescribed Misoprostol that same day and i decided to take it right after my appointment. I had 4 pills that i had to take every 6 hrs to help move the process along.

I finished my last dose on Aug. 4th (tuesday) i had some clots come down and since i wasnt that far along i thought that was end of it. i was spotting off and on for the next few days. Friday night came along and i was just about to leave my parents house. I started to have some cramps. they werent bad but im a little bitch when it comes to cramps.

My parents were just like stay here and let the pain pass through and i was like naaa I want to be at home. I wanted to cry all my emotions where everywhere at this point. I left and here i am on my way home. A 30 minute drive that felt like HELL!!!! The cramps became more intense and i was crying the whole way home. I had a maxi pad on and i was able to feel it the blood just gushing out of me. My son was asleep and i wanted to yell!!!!! In that drive home i had felt a good 4-5 blood gushes coming out of me... I took my son out and tried to carry him out but I was in so much pain I couldnt do it with out making too much noise. I layed him down and i layed with him a bit so that he wouldnt wake up... To my surprise i was not able to lay down with him. I felt so much pressure down there that i felt like my uterus was going to burst. Since i wasnt able to get him to go sleep again after i laid him down , I rushed to the restroom and here I am. Just bleeding like crazy. With every contraction i had i was squirting out blood and blood clots. The pain was unbearable. My husband was working and here i am home alone with my son.

All im thinking is im having a hemorrhage. I’m soaking through my maxi pads so fast that I didnt know what to do. I called my parents to rush over here to help me go to the ER. I was trying to remain calm because i didnt want to pass out on my son and for him to freak out. By the time my parents got there i had already changed my pad 4 times (IN 30 MINUTES). I went to the closest ER to me and they took me in. The guy that took my vitals and my intake pissed me off because he had the nerve to say that “Exactly thats what the medication does to you, Thats normal. Your going to have a lot of pain and pass blood clots. Its normal!” It was the way he said it that triggered me. Making me look like if i was just there to waste their time. So I said “So you are going to tell me that its normal to soak 4 Maxi pads in less than 30 minutes? You assuming before knowing doesnt make you look that bright” Apparently, the doctor was listening and as soon as he heard me say that he stepped in and took me with him and gathered the rest of my information. I was taken to do another ultrasound and blood work. I was feeling sooo dizzy after they took my blood.

Im not one to faint after a blood draw. But i was soo weak. They confirmed with me that i had a small hemorrhage and that I had not lost a lot of blood to need a transfusion. My bleeding at this point was starting to slow down. They stated that i had not passed that sac yet. It was still sitting in my cervix canal. I had to get another dose of the medication. through out that week, i was bleeding normal and sure enough the weekend came again and its Aug. 9th 2am, having cramps. I was trying to sleep it off but when they got strong it would wake me up. Finally i took some pain meds after my pharmacy took forever to get my medication ready!!!! I ran some errands and i figured it would help me walk around to help me pass the sac. Its 5:30pm and im standing in line at Winco. When i feel this gush of blood come down and i felt something just sitting at the opening of my vagina. My pad kept it from coming out and my husband was outside dealing with my son because he was throwing his fit. I finish paying and it was so uncomfortable to walk. I tried to sit down in the car and i couldnt. It felt so weird and i told my husband to drive...I get home and walked as fast as i could to the restroom and i pull down my pants and there it was... the SAC!!!!

With everything that went down i couldn't even process what was all happening emotionally. That whole week after i was a wreck. I was angry and sad. I wanted to cry and yell and punch shit. My friend Jenn reached out to me and it was a while since i reached out to anyone. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Since then, Ive been able to cope with it better. But i can feel it that it lingers on and im just trying avoid it. Im not planning on trying again any time soon. I dont want to think about it. Im too scared of all of this to happen again. My first miscarriage went a lot smoother than this time. This time was just so scary....

#update

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peax-hy · 4 years

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some thots on descendants 3

soooo i watched d3 for the first time today and i need to Talk About It - i was really annoyed by mal in this one ngl > like,, she got the perfect excuse to get put of the whole "close the barrier forever" thing and she just,, didnt?? idk man it was weird - also the first song made me really uncomfortable > the whole "we get to pick who comes to auradon" thing made me really uncomfortable - the whole soundtrack was kinda meh to me > someone else mentioned it feeling super forced and i agree > the only songs that felt at least a lil bit natural were "queen of mean" and "knight fall" - celia and dizzy were the cutest - what was even the point of smees sons?? they were just there?? - the whole "we wanna be able to visit our parents" makes no sense at least for the core four > lmao what happened to maleficent wheres she at > also like,, carlos clearly established that he hates his mom and doesnt want to see her again in d2 and then at the end of d3 hes like "lemme introduce my gf 2 her" what?? > same thing with dizzy and lady tremaine but in d3 they love each other all of a sudden what > seeing celia have a good relationship with her father was the sweetest tho - also the jarlos necklace im dying > they did however grow on me this time around (they felt kinda forced in d2) - hades was super fucking reasonable - he was just chillin why did they market him as the villain of this movie - the sea three + celia carried the whole movie > uma having bde the whole time > harry flirting with everyone > gil just discovering flowers and berries and having a good time > celia doing the backup vocals all by herself in mal and hades duet was gold - also the forced heterosexuality went hard this time > evies song about not wanting to kiss doug bc "they haven't said the l word yet" lmao girl the only l word you're looking for is lesbian > jay and gils bro chest bump at the end like lmao no u 2 are in love - speaking of jay and gil they were cute as hell i would've loved to see more of them (and also some more love for them in the fandom its kinda lonely) - UMA WAS SO BADASS THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE IM IN LOVE > i was also lowkey hoping that mal would make uma queen of the isle - sofias acting during the "you lied to us" speech was so good it was heartwrenching to watch - i honestly really liked audrey as the villain > esp her motivation > i wish she would have been a better one tho :/ (queen of mean still slaps) - the costumes either looked wayy better than in d2 or like halloween costumes (esp mals gowns and audreys outfits) and sadly most of them fall into the latter category so yeah thats all 4 now i might add some things later who knows. tl;dr it was a very :/ ending to the trilogy. it was alright but i expected something better esp after d2

#descendants #descendants 3 #sea three #core four #mal #evie #jay #carlos de vil #uma #gil #harry hook

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thestaytinies · 6 years

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Stray Kids: First Meeting (Awkward Edition)

Another Stray kids reaction. Feel free to request anything if you like!

Chan

Today was your first day on your new job. You were afraid but also excited. The company had a good reputation and you worked your butt off to make it to the position you applied for. The people on your job interview were all very kind, the only person you didn't meet that day was your future boss. The company was really satisfied with you so you got the chance to meet him today. You spend a long time in the bathroom trying to look your best to make the best first impression. When you arrived at the company, you were greeted by the secretary who informed you that there were cupcakes in the breakroom, because someone made them for his birthday and you could take one if you wanted, cause it would take a while before your boss had time for you. So you entered the breakroom and already saw a handsome man standing near the cupcakes. He hasn't noticed you so you thought you would introduce yourself. Just as you were about to speak up, he reached for one of the cupcakes and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. That's when his eyes locked with yours. You just looked at him awkwardly while he stared back at you, his mouth full with cupcake. You didn't know how to react so you excused yourself and left the break room. You were thinking about going to the bathroom to calm your nerves, which just increased after this scene but then you saw the secretery rushing to the breakroom. As she opened the door she said: "There you are sir, I was looking everywhere for you. Please hurry up the new employee is waiting for you." Oh no. The handsome cupcake guy came out and looked at you. He smiled but you could tell that he was emberassed. "Hello my name is Bang Chan and I'm your new boss. I look forward to working with you". What a great start, you thought.

Woojin

You were walking around the city, searching for a birthday present for a friend of yours. It had been a long exhausting day und you started to feel dizzy, but you still haven't found anything. That's when you saw your friend in front of a shop, looking at the clothes that were displayed. Perfect timing. You thought about buying him the outfit. You had to distract him, so he wouldn't buy it for himself. You decided to greet him and take him maybe to Mcdonalds so that he would forget about the outfit. You sneaked up behind him and slapped his ass. That was your usual way of greeting him but when he turned around you almost got an heart attack. If someone woud've taken a picture it surely would go viral. Your shocked and his unamused expression, a perfect combination. "Ehm, uhh you know...", you speaked up. In your panic you continued while shouting "I'm so so sorry I thought you were my friend!!" "I see I also thought you were my friend, that's why I didn't really react." You were lucky that he thought that, he could've knocked you out. You tried to make this situation less awkward. "It seems like you attract people who like to grab ass." He had to laugh at your statement and said, "seems so. I'm Woojin and what's your name Miss ass-graber?" It was your turn to laugh and you told him your name. It was an really embarassing accident but through that you gained a new good friend.

Minho

You were enjoying your bath that you have been waiting for all week and used bathbomb that made your whole bath sparkle with gold glitter. It was relaxing but you got bored after a while. You started to play with the glitter and smeared it in your face. You drawed yourself a mustache and covered your eyebrows with it. Thinking that you looked really funny, you took a sillie selfie and send it to your best friend. They recently changed their number so you tried to remember it and typed it in your phone. You sent the picture and wrote "come join me to have some fun". The caption was seductive at purpose because you two always wrote like that. But the picture was just silly, you could tell that you were in the bath but you couldn't see anything that a stranger shouldn't see. After 2 minutes your phone notificated you of a new message. "That was fast", you thought because they normaly needed at least half an hour to reply to you. What you didn't expect though was a picture of a really attractive guy who smiled kind of mischivously. You thought your best friend was just messing with you but you were horrified when you read the text that followed. "Sorry wrong number sweety, but I would still like to join you!". Oh no oh no oh no! You just send a really hot guy, a really embarassing and silly picture. You wanted to drown in the bath but you decided to ignore this situation and not reply to him. It's not like he knew who you were. But it didn't seem like he wanted you to forget because he still messaged you after that. "Hey don't ignore me, no one ignores the great Minho!", Hellooo how are you doing glitter mustache", "Please reply this could be the start of a beautiful friendship!" His last message kind of touched you so you replied to him and indeed it was the start of something beautiful.

Changbin

You were walking around your local park, letting go of your stress. You really needed the fresh air but you got tired after a while, so you sat on a bench that had a nice view across the park. You enjoyed the scenerie when you heard a voice behind the tree that was left from you. "So what do you want to eat today? I think I should go for a fast snack since I have a lot of work to do." You looked in the direction and saw a cute guy sitting underneath the tree. He was probably talking to someone on the phone even though it dudn't really seem like it. You turned back when he said in a really cute voice "ahhh I love you soooo much!" Oh so he was talking to his girlfriend, what a bummer. You didn't want to eavesdrop even more so you got up and started to leave. You had to walk past him and looked one last time when you noticed that he was actually talking to someone on his right side, which you couldn't see on the bench. Well it wasn't really someone, more a something. A cute snorlax plushy. You were so suprised that you didn't notice the "Oh!" coming out of your mouth. The guy noticed you right away and got red in the face really fast. You understood that he was embarassed since he didn't seem like the type who would talk to plushies. You didn't know him but since you both seemed like students, there still was a chance that you meet again and that you maybe knew soneone that knew him. So he quickly asked you, “please don’t tell anyone that I carry a stuffed animal around with me and even talk to it.” He looked like he was about to cry, so you assured him that you wouldn't do that. "Don' t worry I wont tell anyone! How about we grab something to eat and I might even be able to help you with your work?" You didnt know where you got this courage from but the boy seemed happy and agreed. "Sure im Changbin and I'll pay, see it as hush money." You both laughed at his joke and went on your way to grab something to eat.

Hyunjin

You were sitting in a lecture, starting to fall asleep, cause you had put an allnighter the night before. It also didn't really help that your professor had such a hypnotizing voice and the topic he was talking about also didn't interest you. You glanced to the right and saw that the goodlooking guy in your lecture was falling asleep. You chuckled and tried to return you attention to the lecture. You often heard girls talking about him and you agreed with everything they said, but you never talked to him and weren't that much interesered in talking to him or anyone for that matter. That's what university does to you. The professor was talking about something like marriage and began with "for example..let's say Miss y/n and Mr. Hyunjin are getting married.." Oh oh, you didn't expect that. You heard the gurls a row behind you whispering something like "why did the professor choose her?", but you didn't mind that, you were more focused on Hyunjin who gave you a shy smile when your eyes locked. The professor continued to use you two as a example and when the bell rang you knew you had to get out as fast as you could to calm your nerves. But you were stopped when Hyunjin stood right in front of you. "Hey how about we exchange numbers so that we can get to know each other better? I would like to know what my future wife is like." What a flirt, you thought but agreed since it seemed like he was just as nervous as you, telling from his body language. And even though your first interaction was kind of awkward, it was the beginning of something great.

Jisung

Your friends invited you to go to a bar with them. You agreed because it had been a long time since you went out and had some fun. You just had to control your liqiuor because after some drinks you tried to fight every stranger that came across you. Luckily you knew how much you could handle. The night out was fun so far, you catched up with your friends and talked about many random topics. You knew you were near your limit so you decided to get a non-alcoholic cocktail. But the bartender was new and you were so distracted by talking with your friends that you didn't notice that the drink was actually mixed with alcohol. After you finished it, you observed how your behaviour kind of changed and how you were getting annoyed at the simplest things. To your luck, your friends decided that it was getting late and wanted to head home. You all said your goodbyes and you walked home so you could sober up a little bit. Just a street away from your apartment, a guy accidentally brushed your shoulder while passing by you. It wasn't a big deal normaly but you couldn't control yourself and yelled: "Oh so you want to fight now?" The guy was suprised by your outburst but saw that you weren't that sober. "No, I'm sorry it was an accident. But you shouldn't walk around at night in a state like that Miss. There are many dangerous people out there." "I ain't afraid of anyone! I know how to defend myself." You wanted to show him a karate move you saw on tv but you tripped and landed with your face on the floor. You don't remember what happened after that because you blacked out. After a while you woke up again when you felt something cold against your head. The guy you were yelling at looked at you and smiled. "I'm glad your awake, I thought I had to call an ambulance." You were shocked, "you took care of me even though I wanted to fight you?" "I know you couln't really control yourself and to be honest, it was kind of funny. I'm Jisung by the way." That's when you really looked at his face and saw how cute and good-looking he was. He offered to walk you home and you agreed. After you finally went into your apartment, you jumped on your bed and fell asleep, not knowing how happy you would feel in the morning, finding a piece of paper, with a number and the name Jisung written on it in your jacket.

Felix

When you adopted your cat you'd never imagine how much trouble it would cause you. He was normaly good behaved and you could leave him alone in your apartment, without having to worry about going back to some damage. But he had one habit that was the cause of all your stress. He liked to steal the underwear from your neighbours. He didn't care if it was women's or men's underwear and just stole whatever he could find. You didn't know which underwear belonged to which neighbour and you didn't want to go around asking your neighbours about their underwear. So you did the next logical thing and just stored them in your basement. You felt like a creep but at least it didnt seem like anyone was suspecting you or your cat so at least you were save for now. But that would change very quickly. You left the elevator at your floor when you heard someone shout. "Hey, give that back that's mine!" You looked carefully around the corner and saw your cute, new neighbour Felix chasing your cat, that had black underpants in his mouth. The funniest thing was the "Yeet" written on it. Your cat had very good reflections and dodged every move of him, so that he got frustrated. "Come on just give it back! What do you even need it for?" You almost laughed but then you remembered that he would probably ask the other neighbours about the cat and then you would get exposed. You knew you had to step in. "Great, I've never actually talked to him and this will be our first interaction" you thought. "Better get it over quickly". You shouted you cats name and he immediately listened. "Give me that in your mouth." He complied and you turned to Felix. "Im really sorry about that. Please dont tell anyone what happened. It's a bad habit of his and I don't know how to change that. I don't know if the landlord will let me stay here if he hears about that, especially not, if he finds all the underwear in my basement!" You didn't mean to tell him everything but it kind of just came out. For a moment he was shocked but then he had to laugh, "dont worry I wont tell anyone. I'm just glad that my underwear didnt go to your collection. How about that? I help you get rid of all the evidence and you will cook for me today? Since a certain cat kept me from getting grocery shopping." You were more than happy for this deal since you got the opportunity to get to know him better. How lucky you were for adopting your cheeky cat, you thought.

Seungmin

You sat in your favorite lecture with your favorite professor. The reason for it being your favorite lecture was, that almost everyone was attending it. You liked when the room was full of people because you wouldn't stand out to much. The reason for everyone attending was that the professor gave extra credit for being there, since it was a morning class and he didn't like teaching in an almost empty room. He also didn't care what everyone did as long as they wouldn't disturb his lecture, that's why he was your favorite professor. You still paid attention to him but he talked about a topic today that you already knew pretty well, so you decided to treat yourself and do something fun instead. You recently found a good fanfic and were on the last chapters of it. You started to read and didn't pay any attention to your surroundings. The fanfic got so intense and for a minute you thought it would end up in some angst but the couple ended up happy together. Now it was time for the final chapter and the author promised some steamy smut scenes. And oh boy, they didn't lie when they said that they would get intense. You were so focused on the final scene that you barelly heard the voice beside you. "How can you read this with a blank face?" You looked at the boy talking to you and saw how handsome he was. You probably would've gotten embarassed if his look didnt tell you that he was just curious and not judging you. So you just answered him casually. "I dont know, i think I just practiced it enough, so that people wouldn't stare at my phone immediately when they see me making a expression." "Interesting, I think you could play poker or something and make much money with it. But honestly the chapters you have read were pretty good. What's this fic called?" So you told him about it and that was the beginning of Seungmin sitting beside you in this lecture and getting some new fic recommendations from you.

Jeongin

You were sitting in the community kitchen of your college dorms, with your friends. One of them decided to cook for all of you, so you joined them in the kitchen so they wouldn't get too bored while cooking. You all were laughing and having fun. That's when the topic of the new guy came up. He recently moved in and from what you heard about him, he seemed really cute and nice. Some of your friends already talked to him but you mostly spend your time in your room, so you haven't had the opportunity to meet him yet. The topics of your conversation changed every minute until it came to movies and shows. You recently started a new anime and told your friends about it. It had the perfect mix of fight scenes and intense, emotional and funny moments. There was a particular fight scene where you had to laugh for a good 5 minutes, cause it looked so ridiculous. You wanted to make your friends laugh, so you stood up and showed them the move. This was actually your first try so you weren't sure how it went exactly but you still tried it. You took your leg in you hand, behind your back and bend a little forward. But your hands slipped and your leg snapped back. What you didn't expect was the impact, it felt like you just hit someone in the stomach. You turned around and saw a guy with a pained expression lying on the floor. So it wasn't just a feeling. You immediately started to apalogize and asked him if you could somehow help him. You heard the name Jeongin around you and realized that you just kicked the new guy. Talk about good first impressions. But to your surprise, he had one of the brightest smiles you've seen, when he looked at you. "Oh it's okay! Nothing bad happened. It's nice to meet you but please don't greet me like that everytime." You were relieved and your friend invited him to eat with you guys as an apology. That was your first encounter with him, but you were sure that both of you wouldn't forget it so fast.

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids changbin #stray kids minho #stray kids woojin #stray kids chan #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids jisung #stray kids lee know #stray kids han #stray kids felix #stray kids seungmin #stray kids jeongin #stray kids i.n

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Man i feel like i can actually FEEL the teeth in my lower jaw starting to move back into proper alignment to fill the gaps where the wisdom teeth got taken out. Its so weird its like sideways ache? Like theyre being pushed out? Just makes me realize wow how tight and awful they were before. Makes sense that this whole thing caused my front teeth to shatter even though its a back teeth problem. They just got pushed so tight they overlapped like bologna and then snapped in half and got all gross plaque infection in the cracks. Now they got rid of the asshole wisdom teeth and they also did reconstructive surgery on those bologna teeth so now they look EVEN BETTER THAN THEY DID IN THE FIRST PLACE!! Srsly lol they had no frame of reference for what they really looked like so the replacement caps ended up being perfectly sized and straight instead of the big wonky ones they used to be. I actually like my smile for the first time in years!! But man its so worrying to think all these teeth were pushed halfway out of their sockets from all the pressure of the wisdom teeth, and now it looks like i have big gaps where the wisdom teeth used to be but theyve already started closing in just two days since the surgery. Wiggly wiggly sideways back into where youre supposed to be! Teeth are so weird i never knew anything about how teeth works!!!

Also the weirdest side effect of anesthetic is it apparantly gives you problems peeing for 24 hours. Even after all the head fuzzyness was gone and i didnt feel tired or anything, it was like i constantly had to pee but nothing was happening. Had to sit there for ten minutes at a weird angle to get gravitational support lol. I guess that means the muscles in your urinary tract continue being paralyzed longer than the rest of you that got knocked out? I also wasnt able to crap until just now, who would have friggin expected that tooth drugs could mess up your ass? XD Wonder if theres any other parts of your body that the anesthetic wears off more slowly but you dont notice cos its less vital? Like did my ability to smell asparagus go away? Did my spleen temporarily take a nap? Was i unable to wiggle my ears but id just never know cos i couldnt do that anyway? ITS SO WEIRD

Oh also for some reaosn it took quite a while for the tooth pain to kick in at all, and the worst pain has been in my throat. Apparantly they had to hook me up to breathing apparatus during the surgery and the tubes in your throat often leave it feeling scratched afterwards. It just bugged me so much more than the teeth cos it made it hard to drink anything to rehydrate like they wanted me to. And heath hospital does THE BEST MOST FAMOUS HOSPITAL TOAST and it was soooo hard to swallow it with my throat but i had to cos it was amaaaazing~! All the nurses were so nice so i couldnt say no even when the salty crustyness of delicious was destroying my windpipe. It would have been a noble death!

Also odd is that i have a bit of an ache lower down my neck, like a muscle lower near my diaphram and also one under my chin kinda? Thats the same one that was hurting when the wisdom tooth was in there so it makes sense, but the lower neck muscle is weird. I guess maybe i just stretched it bad at a weird angle while i was unconcious and didnt notice til the anesthetic totally wore off

Anesthetic is so weird!!!

Also like i dont remember ANYTHING about it? It somehow gave me amnesia of stuff before the injection? Is that normal? Ijust renember sittibg on the bed and them saying "hey were gonna wheel you over to surgery now" and then i was waking up in my recovery room three hours later. Dont remember the bed wheelies or getting the injection or the count backwards from ten or anything! I guess thats good cos i was so worried i was gonna say or do something embarassing while i was groggy and now i guess i'll never know. But i feel like the doctors wouodnt have been so nice to me if i had said something stupid, right? And then after i woke up i didnt have any of that comical goofyness either i just felt totally sane but sleepy and dizzy whenever i tried to stand up. And a bit of amplified anxiety but not as bad as i was expecting, i just panicked a bit to the doctor and needed to know a bunch of questions about the surgery to know 100% for sure that it all went right. I was worried that i'd ptsd flashbacks of my childhood or something and embarass myself.

It all ended up going a lot better than expected and i didnt die and i didnt embarassment and all the doctors were SO NICE and just basically i was so scared of my first time going to hospital and it went so well that now im way less scared if i ever need to have surgery again someday! And i can face it with a fabulous looking smile!!

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withfeelingthistime2232 · 2 years

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My god should I even attempt to tell you guys what happened yesturday?

probably the biggest fuck up in my life

not even going to talk about to day because jack shit happened so ill just play out yestureday for you all

i woke up feeling rather sluggish, very tired and achey pretty much means my period is coming soon, nothing happens for a good majority of the day. my husbands redownloading Fallout on the psa i took a nap woke up later to do a video, just a sit and chat while i played the cat tetris game. felt pretty good after that.

then i wanted a bath because i smelled like shit and my back was still kinda hurting so i cleaned my bathtub with this mixture that i was using on my walls eariler this week because they were all greesy and grimy. it was a full bottle of water and a teaspoon of rubbing alcahol, )saw a korean homebody youtuber use it works amazingly well and no deep smell like my usual clorax spray)

bathtub looked good washed it out with water and let it sit for abit had some dish soap in there to help lift off some the the grim, thought it wasnt working so i added clorax later and rised out the tubb

DONT FUCKING DO THAT

apparently I accidently made Chloroform

im so fucking lucky everything was diluted enough where nothing happened big time but this just shows how apsentminded i could be if i dont fucking pay attention to my surroundings (this is why i dont trust my self driving )

I had the vent going in my bathroom and i was watching annie on the couch because i was going to let it air out abit before i started a bath, i had a strange thought in the back of my head thinking (i fucked up) so i googled and it bascialy said do not do this.

but people were saying if it was so much water then i should be ok so i calmed down a bit.

alittle too calm

my vision started blanking out on the couch and i got so scared i went into catatrophy mode opened every window and door in my apartment then i grabbed my cat and failed trying to shove her in the carrier so i turned on all the fans in the rooms and opened the windows and ran out of the house and called my husband

he rushed home after walking me though what to do and i was trying to sit outside and just keep myself awake

my husband called poison control and just monitored me for the rest of the night, everything was fine like i thought too diluted to actually cause any harm because both my cat and my tortoises were fine he told me that i worked very efficiently and told me that i did the right thing leaving the cat behind and pointed out next time if i really wanted to save her like that I had to be really rough (she might get hurt but hurt is better then dead)

since i was cleaning with everything however I was nauseous and dizzy the rest of the night and had shortness of breath

if anyone wants to know really what it felt like it felt exactly like taking my inhaler on melatonin gummies I felt like I wanted to pass out but my body was just buzzing, weird sensation still kind of going though it right now with a slight headache even after cleaning the couch so idk what to do about that

good news is nothing is wrong with my animals and my husband doesnt seem affected by anything( but this is coming from a man who used to clean with Chloroform soooo)

bad news is since my constitution is a fucking 2 im sick and dont know how long I will be for so wish me luck

#I fucked up #Daily blog #thursday #Posion

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pinksausageduo · 7 years

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bae jinyoung|best friends to lovers|part 1

member: bae jinyoung genre: fluffy summary: you were best friends with jinyoung but you wanted to be something more but in your mind that’s never gonna happen. but the wanna one boys have a plan to set you two together without either of you knowing let’s hope it won’t be end in a complete disaster requested: yes!! soccer + best friend (can have romance) part 1 | part 2 (final)

you look at the soccer field watching the boys team practice

and you can’t help but smile as jinyoung scores a goal

you cheer for him loudly trying to embarrass him

“GO JINYOUNG!!! GO JINYOUNG!!!”

he looks at you blushes and gives you a heart warming smile and a small wave

you wave back frantically with a huge grin your face

you can see seongwoo lightly nudging him and smirking him while whispering something into his ear

you roll your eyes you’re sure he’s teasing jinyoung about you two again

and on cue jinyoung blushes bright red

seongwoo looks at you and winks while you just flip him off

he smirks and chases after the ball once again

jinyoung gives you one last glance and smiling at you which makes your heart flutter

even tho you’d never admit it did at least not to him

but the game continues and you keep on watching the boys practice

and your thoughts wandered

you and jinyoung were best friends

you had been since primary school

you both loved soccer with a passion and you were both the star players in striker position of your separate teams (1 all girls, 1 all boys)

it all started when you wanted to join a game of soccer with all the boys

but they wouldn’t allow you to

cause you were a girl and girls have cooties plus they’re not as good as boys

prove them they’re so fucking wrong sister

but jinyoung convinced them to let you play and picked you for his team

he told you “i’m sorry about the other guys, you can take centre attack, prove them you’re amazing okay?”

making you blush and giving him a dazzling smile at him while nodding

you felt sooo happy that even without jinyoung knowing about your skills at all he still convinced the guys to let you play picked you on his team and gave you the centre spot

you played excellently scoring 3 goals and your team won in the end

as you scored the final goal from half way

all the guys jaws dropped at your skills

you rushed up and hugged jinyoung tightly whispering into his ear

“thank you for letting me play”

he automatically hugged you back tightly

“of course what are friends for? but i also need to thank you for making us win” he whispered back

you both break apart smiling and you both knew you were gonna be best friends jinyoung still wanting to stand up for you basically shouted at all the guys

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU Y/N’S BRILLIANT!”

he grinned at you and you couldn’t help just at that moment but admit even then as a primary schooler your heart fluttered just a tiny bit

all the guys grudgingly respected you and in the end you became close friends with all of them by middle school

but you were closest to jinyoung of course

you both became inseparable

all classes you had together you sat with him

you became basically another daughter to his parents

and him a son to yours

son in law more like it

you both were each others best friends

he was there for you and you were there for him in every way possible

if you had a breakdown jinyoung could calm you in an instant

if he was upset you could always cheer him up

he’d bring you snacks before and after your soccer practices

and you’d attend as many of his practices cheering him on as much as possible

you both never missed a game when the other was playing

you literally were best friend goals

you guys would help each other out with school, friends, family, relationships everything

both of you had no idea where you both would be without each other

but as you got into high school you weren’t sure your feelings towards jinyoung were entirely just friendly

you just couldn’t think any guys could match up to him

he knew you inside out back to front

all your secrets, quirks, weird things you do

he knew all of them

jinyoung was the sweetest guy you knew and a complete gentleman

always opening doors, trying to buy the meal and you always refused making you guys split the bill

but you didn’t know he never did this with anyone else just with you

you thought that was just him as a person

he always could make you laugh and you had the best time with him

he was also extremely handsome and so many girls liked him it was ridiculous

but he really didn’t pay attention to them especially when you were around

but of course you didn’t notice that

you knew he was out of your league

and he could pick and choose and girl he wanted

which destroyed any and all hope of ever being more than best friends with him

plus he probably only saw you as a sister

mhmm sureeee he did

but all this didn’t stop from you having feelings for him

they weren’t like constantly in your face since you guys are best friends and you spend so much time with him but they like popped up when

things happened like

whenever he went on a date or told you he liked a girl which was still basically never

your heart felt a weird twinge

but you always ignored it

or whenever you hugged him or he complimented you

you heart would flutter

but you were happy with just being jinyoung’s best friend

hoping your feelings will go away eventually but you were very doubtful you would get over him before high school ended

you tried to get over him so many times but it never worked the dates the very short relationships could never even hold a candle to you and jinyoungs friendship

as you were totally lost in your thoughts you didn’t realise practice was over

you were snapped out of your thoughts with someone picking you up and putting them on your shoulder

you automatically knew it was woojin

he always did that when he wanted something usually money or food

“YAH WOOJIN LET ME DOWN!!!” you screamed while hitting his back

“ONLY IF YOU AGREE IN BEING A CHEERLEADER FOR OUR FINAL GAME” he shouted right back being clearly amused by your antics knowing he won’t let you down

you groaned at him “for fucks sake woojin you know i hate being happy and perky”

the cheerleaders basically offered you a one game position for the final where you could cheer for the boys

since you were known to be so close with them

but since then all the guys pestered you about it constantly begging you to agree

but they all had a reason for wanting you to be a cheerleader

they were the ones who even set up a special position for you with a little date bribing and they were done!

how i wish i was good looking how easy my life would be smh

so basically after they won the game cause they were 100% sure they would

cocky dicks

they were gonna have you and jinyoung in the middle of the field and they’ll start chanting “KISS KISS KISS”

and literally everyone would join cause

1. people were sick of you two not getting together but being more couple like then actual couples

2. hey who doesn’t like a kiss at the end of a game its cheesy and cute

then y’all kiss get together AND BOOM NEW RELATIONSHIP

THEY WERE GENIUSES

also daniel mentioned the other reason for being a cheerleader soon after woojin picked you up

“but you know jinyoung would love to see you in a uniform something short and tight” daniel cheekily butted in

“FUCKKK OFF DANIEL” you flip him off while he just chuckles at you

you see all the guys knew of your crush on jinyoung

but they didn’t tell him and you loved them for it

little did you know jinyoung had a crush on you and begged them not to tell you

so they decided not to tell either of you and be good friends

AND play matchmaker happily

“awwww y/n pwetty pleaseeee can youu be a cheerleader its only for oneeee game can’t you do that for me” daehwi said cutely with a lot of aegyo and puppy dog eyes

“stop acting cute it’s not going to work you child demon” you scoff back still slumped on woojins shoulder

“i give up she’s so fucking stubborn” daehwi complains

“you barely even tried??” guanlin says

“shhhhhh” daehwi shushes him

“LANGUAGE DAEHWII!!!!!” jisung scolded daehwi

“oh come on lay off it jisung he lives in the same house as us” minhyun said with an amused smile

“he’s still young minhyun!” jisung said scolding him also for his care free attitude

“if you say so” minhyun said while shrugging

mother and father goals

“IM STILL HERE PARENTS!!!” you say obnoxiously

“and there goes our least favourite annoying child” jisung sighed

“HEY! THERES NO SUCH THING AS A LEAST FAVOURITE CHILD!!!” you say

“of course there is, its you and the favourite is me” guanlin says smirking at you

“why the hell are you the favourite??” woojin asks trying to face guanlin

which meant spinning you around and all the guys trying to dodge your head

“cause he’s the swaggy rapper. duh.” jaehwan says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world

“I SAID THAT ONE TIME LAY OFF IT HYUNG!!!” guanlin whines

“NEVERRRRR” jaehwan screams

making everyone wince at his vocals

in the mean time jinyoung, seongwoo and jihoon come over

“whats all this about?” jihoon asks

“basically we’re trying to make y/n agree to be a cheerleader for the final game” woojin says again spinning you around again making you dizzy

“STOP DOING THAT!!” you shout

everyone laughs and you just pout

“ahhhh so cheerleader y/n, is this for her to be in something short and tight for jinyoung???” seongwoo said suggestively

making you and jinyoung blush so hard

but neither of you deny it lol

“HEY THATS WHAT I SAID!!” daniel said grinning brightly

“YEAH ONGNIEL IS SCIENCE YO!!!” seongwoo shouts happily back

and they do their secret handshake which takes soooo long with the weirdest details like both their butts rubbing against each other, weird faces, complicated hand motions and they finish it with a bro hug

“i should be part of that, ongnielhwan is science sounds soooooo much better” jaehwan said disappointedly

“but you have meeee” minhyun said cutely while hugging jaehwan

“ew get the fuck off” jaehwan bitch glared at minhyun but he still clinged onto him

“y/nnnn please agreee so these idiots can all shut up” jihoon pleaded

“WHO ARE YOU CALING IDIOTS???!!!” all the guys chorused

“JINX”

“DOUBLE JINX”

“TRIPLE JINX”

“can y'all just shut the fuck up” jihoon says grumpily

“LANGUAGE!! AGAIN!!” jisung scolded jihoon this time while glaring at minhyun daring him to say anything

minhyun just put his hands up in defeat with a “i didn’t do anything wrong” face

“teenage bloody hormones” sungwoon said rolling his eyes at jihoon

in the midst of all this mess jinyoung gently lowers you down from woojins shoulder

making you extremely close to him

everyone’s watching intently like it was some sort of rom-com

and everyone knew you were gonna agree to being a cheerleader cause

he’ll ask you

and of course you’ll say yes

ITS BAE JINYOUNG

and you were also basically in love with him

and all of the guys were just smirking at each other knowing their plan will work out since the hardest bit of it was for you to agree to be a cheerleader

“guanlinah get me some popcorn” sungwoon ordered

“hell no do it yourself” guanlin replied S.A.S.S.I.L.Y

“F-” sungwoon started to speak but he got interrupted very quickly

“SHHHHHHH” shushed the rest before sungwoon could go on a rant about how the younger generation should treat their elders with respect

and then guanlin would mention something about height

and sungwoon would go full on hulk mode

but you weren’t paying attention all you could hear was your fast beating heart

jinyoung softly pleaded to you with his adorable chocolate brown eyes staring right into yours “y/n will you please please please be our cheerleader for the game? for us? for me?”

you knew you couldn’t say no to jinyoung especially when he was looking at you like that

“fine” you bitterly said

which resulted in loud cheering and whooping from the guys

and the most heart warming smile from jinyoung

jinyoung tightly hugged you spinning you around

making you squeal a little and his heart warming at your cute antics

you hug back with you eyes closed

you love his hugs so much

you part with everyone smirking at you two

before you could say anything daehwi comes between you two and hugs jinyoung

“hes mine” he says cutely poking his tongue at you

with jinyoung shyly grinning and blushing at you

you can’t help but smile at the two guys you loved them both heaps

“BUT YOURE MINEEE DAEHWI” you say loudly while grabbing daehwi and tightly hugging/squishing him

he squealed and laughed while saying

“i love you too y/n”

IN A BROTHERLY SISTERLY WAY NOT ROMANTIC

everyone but you could see the glint of jealously in jinyoung’s eyes

even daehwi so he parted with you quickly and silently mouther a sorry to jinyoung

and jinyoung visibly relaxed and mouthed back it’s okay

you were completely oblivious to all of it though

“but you guys better win and you also need to buy me pizza” you warningly say to all the guys

“DEAL!” they agree happily

you all prepare to leave and jinyoung wraps his arm around your shoulder while whispering in your ear

“really thank you for agreeing”

“it’s all good” you say smiling at him

“i’ll be your cheerleader” you chuckle a little making a cheerleading gesture

which makes him smile widely at your adorable chuckle and cute pose

“just my cheerleader right?” jinyoung asks

“just yours” you say sweetly back

BACK FROM MY UNOFFICIAL HIATUS W A CUTIE JINYOUNGG!!!! if y’all want info about the reasons for hiatus, fics to come and MY NEW SERIES please click here. anyways i love jinyoung and there will only be a part 2 to this scenario which will be the game and it’ll be shorter than this and ill be releasing that eventually. BUT THANK YOU FOR READING LOVE YOU ALL FOR STAYING WITH ME AND DONT BE AFRAID TO SEND ME A MESSAGE OR AN ANON!!!

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