#im going to pull my first today
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dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#ft. kalina#fh class quangle#tbh Im not suuuper happy with the bones of these designs yet#but also its just a bit hard to measure up to how strong ''kid who wears suit to school'' is#I kiinda gear the sophomore year design specifically towards like. cameraman-esque aesthetics#kind of dude who's working the light rig And the audio at the same time. dude who's running inbetween two huge tripods#theres also a thing with the freshman year arcade scene that I wanted to draw but just do not have the energy today#maybe in the future! if I can be bothered to draw biz lmao#I wanna draw something for cleric!gorgug first anyway... specifically his death in freshman year#man I'm so glad I tossed bard!riz into investigative journalism that is SO annoying. exactly what I set out to do with my classswaps#can you imagine going to school with that guy. can you imagine going to school with tintin#this also makes kipperlilly vs riz even funnier like influencer vs journalist? it'd be the Worst#man thinking of it I should rework gorgug's design too. currently his sophomore design is really zac core lmao#and zac can pull it off but character design wise its. really nothing. laughs#his junior year design is full aerith at least so that one Im very happy with. what if I tell u cassandra is the deity of#the inbetween spaces in this class swap thingy. and gorgug offers her domain as a stop for folks fresh out of a faith to gather themselves#that being transgender as fuck is kinda coincidental lmao. but well I stand by it I like that#nobody's design has jumped out to me like riz and gorgug yet. adaine I have a prreeetty good idea for#mostly bc shes the hoodie kid this time round lmao. gamer adaine true believers rise up#we take it easy! we take it easy as we go. these comics-lite were real fun to do. I should do that more
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i hope they add charles to rivals soon i need to have an aneurysm over what to make my desktop wallpaper and i know his MVP intros are gonna add to my problem
#snap chats#new laptop means i can finally change my wallpaper for the first time in years jVLEKEJKAE#as of right now i have it as mags' MoM mvp screen... i already have king magnus on my tablet so...#sorry to anyone who sees my laptop wallpaper i am in fact love with this brickhouse of a man. look at his gay ass X. i hate him#PART of me debated having his rivals design as my bg but shrug..... i fear i love the MoM victory screen..#whats funny is that i dont even use that mvp screen when i play.. as much as i love any references to the third gayest xmen movie#it just aint my fave... not compared to the default and king mags anyway HOW WILD IS THAT#the fact i love a default more.. idk .... he just look cute in it UU i just aint big on the start of the animation yk what i mean#like idk i just think his MoM skin looks good with the default mvp animation but im talking too much about this Anyways#so hard to choose cause when i go to grab a screenshot i just stare at mags for thirty minutes instead of getting my screenshot jERLJRELKJA#charles come to rivals bro..... i need to throw up trying to pick a wallpaper..#if i were a real one i'd make a wallpaper edit with both of them but he aint even in the game so i cant see how feasible that is#yk what i mean cause some screenshots are easy to mix together and it fits well#idk...... cmon rivals devs pull through... add my bald man... i have to make a cherik wallpaper#and pay sfm animators stupid money jvLKEJLAKJ thats where all my statue money'll go actually#ok bye i have one more class in like an hour and i wanna relax for That Hour#cause afterwards ima just work the rest of the day... yay.... //throws up//#at the very least the class is online today but still. i have to be present....
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(QUESTION)
I don't know if this is going to sound demanding but shouldn't you like take a break for a Day or 3 with all this writing your doing
Not gonna lie you probably making some straight fire rn but is it dew time for a break?
0h 100% I need a break- but taking breaks is... hard for me; stubbornness and watching dead lines creep closer and stuff--- would take a break in an instant if we weren't rapidly barreling to October 😭😭
I am trying to lessen the load, though! (Closing requests, putting large non deadlined writing projects on back burners, ect) so I can focus on the heavy stuff so theres... less down the line... cuz I KNOW imma get worse the closer we march to October 😭😭😭
I do plan to take my trip out of state next month as an excuse to take a couple days off though :3 mweheheheheh
As a /lh note I've learned my lesson!! Next year I am NOT going to do 2 October writing challenges at once- idc if I started prepping in January I'm still going through kt!!!! Also a 3 month break after constant writing for 9 months just to do it again does not at all sound appealing LMAO
Maybe I'll set some time aside and do some drawing soon
#the yappening#no but in all seriousness i do appreciate you (and others) caring about my wellbeing#ill be the first (okay well thats a lie/lh) to admit ive been running on fumes trying to juggle everything#writing art baking house work ect#trying to find a better balance... miss drawing but i am going to get to try a new recipe ides today#been going outside for walks again too so i feel less trapped and cooped.. it actually feels nice despite the heat n humidity#its storming all for the rest of the week though :(#i do think its about to get a lot easier soon once i finish freaktober#i dont like bringing it up here for obvious reasons but itd be a lie if i said i didnt know why i was extra stressed#turns out i am very very VERY picky when it comes to writing THAT sort of content- no wonder it felt like pulling teeth the entire time#okay well not the entire time ivd actually been having fun with it (/nonfreaky#if a fic aint fun to write ill be in the trenches </3#BUT we're in the last home stretch of that!!! which not only means ill be dome with that wretched thorn!!!!!#but itll also mean one less massive writing project to deal with!!!!! less work!! woo yesh chat!@#i do want to thank you all again for the support too- even if ive kind of been a crashout lately#something something overworking + horomones + my relationship with food spiraling is really fucking with me#additional good news though! im back on my meds and birth control! hip hip hooray! hopefully I should start getting better in a few weeks!!
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huge day btw
#ITS MARCHH im so happyyy ^-^#aside from it still being wife day ive been wanting to celebrate march#like 6 months ago i decided that march is like. the start of my mental year and spring and joy etc and its like. a personal lil new year#its aewosmeeee#and its such a nice day out!! i should go take a walkkk#but ive already done a lotta =w=bb threw out some trash ive been collecting and vacuumed and changed my sheets etcetc#AND. im redyeing my hair today (which also means shower!! huge) and having a lil drink duringgg WAUGHGH#AND ITS SO NICE OUT AND ITS MARCH AND I AM. big smile (๑>◡<๑)#you know its huge when i pull out the kaomoji. its aewomse#sillyposting#uwaa and im painting my nails later and im...#im just glad. its march. its important to me#ive just been in really such a good mood today and ever since february began and. its so nice. im generally happy and its so. freeing.#like. im doing stuff. i went to or worked on school the entire week and went to job. and on the one day that i dont do either im still.#being a person! and not wasting my time doomscrolling or bedrotting and. im. just. being. normal.#ok i wont doompost about being happy now bc ^-^ omgg its marchhh lets fucking gooo#TEEHEE#i dont want to say it again but. im happy. its a joy to be alive. i love how mundane it all is and i love finding happiness in everything.#its march. its good. happy march first everyone.
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I'm legally not allowed to interact much with the Hunger Games fandom because I'm an american studies major in my 20s and would disrupt the fragile ecosystem of teenagers engaging with fictional depictions of fascist structures and just war theory.
The other reason is that I would have to immediately combust from Hypocrite Disease because I had self-insert Hunger Games OCs and engaged in shipping discourse, too. That's part of how we engage with depictions of fascist structures and just war theory as teenagers, and enabling that is part of what makes the franchise so special.
This reduces my natural habitat to 2-hour video essays about the cultural geography of Panem (x) and a few select posts, but that's a price I'm willing to pay for conservation.
#ramble#i am purposefully not naming any specific posts or takes that made me physically bite my tongue#because i am not going to stifle that. like even aside from politics. people deserve to engage with their fandoms however they want#especially when theyre young. they dont need me dropping a 10k essay on why their form of engagement is problematic#but this one most of all. this one needs to develop naturally.#“theyre so stupid for missing the point” says the mean voice in my head knowingly ignoring that that IS part of the point#im not tagging the fandom for the same reasons but i assume the tumblr word association crawler catches it anyway#i read the trilogy the first time when i was 13. the first book again in class when i was 16. again for leisure at 23#and now im 27 and reading them again for hyperfixation reasons. and theres still stuff i didnt catch before.#when i was 13-16 i came up with a (fairly obvious) concept for a Hunger Games video game and I always wondered why they didnt made one#(aside from that one facebook idle game thats now defunct)#itd be an almost guaranteed cash cow. you could even do multiplayer. but i get it now. oh boy do i get it now.#still mixed feelings on the movies. i guess theyre as good as they were going to get.#i think one of those hbo franchise adaptation series would work quite well but theyd conflict with the target demographic#but oh man consider if they did all this marketing about a faithful retelling and how brutal and extreme it was#and then throughout the first episode it slowly sinks in that they're not showing anything of Katniss privately.#only the scenes in front of cameras. starts with the reaping. then the chariots. the interviews. only what capitol citizens would see.#the movies kinda muddies the line by having a different tv culture whenever they do capitol view.#but man imagine if they pulled that with a direct imitation of how we do reality tv now. sound effects and talking heads etc#if the hunger games happened today. do you think wed make memes about the dying tributes? (the answer is yes btw)
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Hey yall I could use some JO memes or silly pics so feel free to reblog or DM me. Thanks!
Update: If you have any fluffy fanfics please share too any pairing is good ;D
#joker out#bojan cvjetićanin#kris guštin#jan peteh#nace jordan#jure maček#personal#yeah not feeling juhuhuhahaha today tbh#at first i was motivated to try and spend today to really focus on applying for more jobs until my dad proceeded to gaslight me again#so yeah my mood went real downhill from there#i still managed to pull through and apply for some but otherwise im still really feeling down tbh#so yeah any pics or gifs of the boys are very much appreciated#thanks peoples#thanks baby boos#also if you are going to their shows this week or soon have funnnnn!!!!
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I’m officially going to Ireland and the UK this October!!!!
#I’ve been planning it for literally months but finally pulled the trigger and booked the hotels today!!!#and yes I’m going to banbridge in my first leg of the journey just for Crozier’s statue and house#what of it#will also be visiting the national maritime museum in London#and Franklin memorial where Goodsir’s remains are housed!!!#im so fucking excited I’ve been saving up for this for a year now 😭😭😭
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dude running this place is so hit or miss
#logbook#i am. alive. i completely died yesterday. idek im just built different.#retail really is. you'll be experiencing one of the worst migraines ever and then have to put on a smile and help a guy drop more money#then you ever could.#its been an hour since someone walked in and bought something. a few ppl walked in but back out. last 2 guys im like HRRRR KILL DIE#working on small projects but it really is time just drags and you pray ppl come in and buy stuff#im going home with some ispods today. i picked them out slready<3#and today i started first day fakr birth. earlier it was so bsd i thought i was gonna pass out. rn im just chillin.#tmrw i go back to full time shitty gig#if guy responds to my isopod pics i might pull a WHOA and see if he wants to come chill on my porch tonight
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Forgive me for the person I'll become when Missa releases all his new music <- delusional
#been on a missa kick lately which I've never really shared#been getting reeeeally into some of his music and lowkey getting a crush on him 😳🥰#and like. who cares if its been a month or smth. im still very obsessed with that stream he did where he showed off music he was working on#like his voice is insanely good and im going crazy like. to this day i still dont know if he plans to release all that or if that was just-#-scrapped music. with how excited he was when showing music i dont think its scrapped? but idk#dont wanna get my hopes up but. gah#also im just gonna come right out and say it. missa sinfonia is fucking hot as hell#he's so insanely hot and attractive and the music makes him hotter and he's so funny and grhgrgjfrh#ive been a little bit a lot obsessed lately. oh my god how are you so damn attractive#ive kinda told myself that if i ever get a partner the first thing i would do is show him missa and make them fall for him like i did#he's like. handsome like a guy from my culture. does that make sense#missa sinfonia has malay guy swag#i think i can say that here yeah. ive spoken my mother tongue language here#sorry im reaching he just reminds me of someone irl. but also. missa is hot asf i need someone to shake hands with me#frickin. schoolgirl crush on a funny mexican youtuber#ive watched more missa videos than i thought i would and its embarrassing how giddy i would get watching like#i am in my 20s but i am resting my chin on my hand like 🥰#brother I've fallen someone pull me back up i cant do this today
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The only downside of finally being able to be productive at work (a genuinely good thing considering how dead and slow most days can be here) is that it's cutting into my fic writing time. Which would be fine except for the fact that I've been on a groove and I'm afraid to lose the juice and hit a wall again.
#writing woes#for context: I'm doing an inventory project at work and until now we didnt have a scanner that worked#so I was typing barcodes in by hand and it was slow and awful and something very easy to get pulled away from#scanner came in today. it's great. the project will now go much faster#BUT I'm on a rare crest of actually having creative juice for writing a fanfic that decided to kick my Kingsley stuff to the curve (for now)#and take over my drive and its been great and I don't wanna lose it#I've gotten 4 chapters done and a 5th one in progress#of a roughly planned 12-13 chapters (give or take)#and I'm starting to struggle a little in this chapter and I don't wanna lose the groove dammit!!#but I get to actually DO SOMETHING at work for once!#its a very first world not actually a problem problem but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#(also just because I wanna tell somebody anything about this:#im working on something ive been calling 'Unhappy Families'#(or: one went up two went down) )#and it's been fun.
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RATS are NOT your friends at night while you're reading a scary book
#so if you didnt know. rats are nocturnal#so its 2am where i am rn. my room is pitch dark because i have my blinds shut#and im reading a scary book. lots of spooky creatures and body horror and haunted shit#and my rats. are knocking shit over and chewing on things and generally being menaces#or theyll go silent for a minute abd i think theyre chilling and then all of a sudden theyll drop a toy or something#and scare the shit out of me#they use their spooky little hands to climb on the bars of their cage. and they use their spooky little teeth to aggressively eat kibble#and i gave them new toys today. these edible foraging toys that they love#but that means my room is full of the sound of pulling on bars. or the clicking of a water bottle. or chewing. so muvh chewing#and im reading about this dead body come back to life. with like all of her bones broken. killing a guy in the most grotesque way#and its altogether a very bad experience#i was bored for the first 70ish pages but then it got really fucking good and im hooked. but its also terrifying#the rats have gone silent but now my dog is shifting in his kennel outside my room#both are terrifying. why are my rats silent. why is my dog moving. when will he move next#these animals are harassing me. whats next. my sibling's rabbit is going to break in? in roommate's cat will start scratching at the door?#if my landlord is reading this then ignore all of these tags. we only have a dog sir. no rodents or felines or whatever tf a rabbit is here#ah the rats are making sounds again. terrible horrifying sounds#i have to piss but im scared to get out of bed. i think i live here now. in bed. i cant leave#on a somewhat related note i really want to make deviled eggs rn but i have roommates that are trying to sleep#on one hand i miss living alone. on the other it makes me feel safer to have two other people here with me#even if the threat is only my imagination#and my mischievous critters
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#i have had to deal with some 🅱️ULLSHIT today lemme tell you#first they redirected our return flight down to fuckin atlanta for seemingly no reason#the original was gonna be from spokane to chicago with a stop in minneapolis-st. paul but that one got cancelled i guess#but TODAY. literally 12 hours before our flight out of chicago was supposed to take off. i got an email saying they cancelled it#which of course made me Fucking Panic bc i can NOT afford to book a whole new flight on such short notice#but i NEEDED to be there this weekend. like im con staff they need me out there#luckily i was able to change to a flight out of ohare but. our return flight is still going to midway & they didnt let me change that one#so now we gotta take the L train ALLLLL the way to the Other Airport just to get back to our car#anyways long story short fuck delta all my homies hate delta#i swear if they try to pull some fuck shit with our return flight i will Maim and Bite#ace screams into the void#vent//
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too many houses in this game. house of hope. house of grief. house of healing. always getting them confused.
#today im doing the house of healing#it's the last thing i have left in the main body of act 2. then it's onto the gauntlet and then ketheric#might even get up to myrkul today. not looking forward to that!!!!!!#i'll just be glad when i can ditch the moonlantern and use my proper weapons#personal#ash plays bg3#so fun fact you can go and kill everyone that usually fights with ketheric on the roof before that fight#so at least that will be easier#unfortunately i killed isobel so the first phase of the final boss is gonna SUCK. usually it's the second half that does me in#ive been hoarding scrolls and making sure i dont use any summons so i hope that tides me over#also!!! having the mobile feat is the best choice ive made in this entire run so i dont provoke opportunity attacks#so if i get pulled onto myrkul's platform i can just give him a tap and run away fortunately#im still just wondering what im gonna do with my party of hirelings. they dont come to any fights--#but their buffs are tiding me through and some of them are concentration so it would suck to dismiss them#oh well we'll see what happens when i get there
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genuine question is having a flatmate ever a pleasant experience
#big rant in the tags#i love my flatmate as a friend we get on great (we were friends already) but my godddd i'm pulling my hair out rn#life was so peaceful when i lived alone i want that back so bad it was so chill i didn't have to worry about anything#genuinely why is it so hard for people to be clean. and take the fucking bins out. and just wipe the table after they get crumbs everywhere#and i get that my standards of cleanliness are very high im not expecting that i know it's not gonna be spotless all the time#but there should at least be some sort of attempt. i've not seen her get the hoover out or mop ONCE. and it's always me taking the fucking#genuinely her gf has cleaned up more than she has. but they generate so much mess together and never fucking clean it#came back saturday night after being at home for 2 1/2 weeks (she'd already been back for a week with her gf) and the bins were piled high#and the sink was just so gross with food and stains and gross shit idek and the floor clearly hadn't been hoovered since i did it before#i left to go home. and her and her gf have got so many little kinder toys and lego pieces out on the shelves in the living room so it looks#all messy and listen that'd be fine if she was the one dusting those shelves but it's always me having to wipe down the surfaces and it's#so annoying having to move everything each time. bear in mind she has the bigger room so she has space for all that stuff in there#and today i got home from uni went to grab a bowl and tbh at least her gf had unloaded the dishwasher but she'd put away a bowl that#clearly hadn't been washed properly by the dishwasher how do you see something like that and put that away in the cupboard#i probably sound insane rn but it's so fucking annoying to have to clean up after another person yet alone another person's gf#and before u say just talk to her 1) i have already when i first had to have a conversation with her about her gf coming to stay for 1 mont#that's a whole other issue and 2) i shouldn't have to constantly remind a grown adult to fuckin clean up after themselves in a shared space#thank fuck we have separate bathrooms because i would kms i fear#thing is in february and march im gonna be out of the city for one of my placements i'm already stressed enough about having to move#and i want to be able to come back at the weekend to recharge and see friends but im just scared that it'll be a mess whenever i do#idk man i just think it's disrespectful like this has been my home for over 3 years i care about this flat a lot and it pisses me off to#see shit that gets spilt on the floor not getting cleaned up.... okay enough i just got myself all worked up again#.txt
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#personal#I feel so dumb so something been telling Joe for what feels like a month that (hey I'm cold we need to put out the carpets)#(but first we need to clean up the floor) so the carpets are put on clean floors yeah? but I'm lit out here shivering daily bc it's that#cold and we would say we would clean the floor every fri but then fri comes and hit happens so we don't and today I told him (ok fuck it#let's put the carpets as it is temporarily) and he turns around acting as if he has been saying this all the time? and goes to say how if we#do it the proper way (aka clean the n carpet) it needs to be a day from the start I got fed up and cleaned the floor in my own bc I was so#cold and the worst part? he could hear me clean and even asked (hey what are you dojng?) and not once tried to go want some help? even in a#rhetorical question kind of way and you know wabt? I told him this told him he should have offered a semblance of an offer anything rather#than honestly sit on his ass and watch me do it so he goes (don't act like I don't do what you want me to when have you ever asked me to do#something and I told you no?) and ok he might not say no outright but then he postpone and Im tired lmao he doesn't get to pull the#don't be like mum card not now not like this I hate how I retreated tbh my therapist said this is smth we will work on but hm ngl I'm afraid#what happens when I don't retreat? I hope only good
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and with that i do believe that my run with interstellar in imax has come to an end.
#check out the stats: 4 shows in 7 days. two shows within less than 24 hours of each other#one show that made me drive three hours through the city I hate to get to the imax#tbf I didn’t know that it was coming to my town because the original weekend it was not here#so I had to make the drive. then! I found out my local imax was going to show it so I went three more times lol#truthfully I feel good about it. I could go again tomorrow night at 10pm but I think while I was watching it today#idk something just came over me and I thought ya know what? this is it. this is my last time seeing it in imax#I came to peace with it and im okay with it. it was beautiful to witness. it really helped when i had contacts in instead of glasses#I think we worked through a lot of feelings while watching these four shows. I think we learned a lot about myself too#definitely found some answers we were looking for. definitely opened up some other wounds too but that’s okay#I got to enjoy movies again and really be immersed in cinema so that was a great experience#plus all of this with a movie I already loved so now! it’s boosted my life exponentially#idk how to make an interstellar url which is why we went with rust but like. dammit I owe you my life interstellar#god what a beautiful film. I’ve seen so many bad takes about it too and it’s not like im blinded by my love for it#that I think the takes are bad. no it’s genuinely shit like ‘oh what do you mean they couldn’t figure out how to grow more than just corn?’#like homie you obviously were not paying attention! the earth is dying! (real) and corn is quite literally the only thing left!!!#they have to leave if humanity is going to survive!!!!#anyway. like I said. beautiful film really enjoyed this past week of getting to see AND experience it.#watching it on blu ray now will never be the same#thank you everyone who followed along on this journey and thank you mr McConaughey for giving me your accent for the week#okay last two things: a) im gonna go back and tag all my stuff so I can look back on this time with joy and whimsy#second: here’s my definitive ranking of my viewings of the movie:#first had to be the first time i saw it. nothing is topping that absolutely nothing. experiencing that for the first time and road tripping#like come on that’s dedication to the art right there. second would be today. feeling at peace knowing it was going to be my last show#and really getting to soak it all in. absolutely. plus I had contacts in so I could see everything lol.#third was yesterday bc yeah I finally got to see everything (again. finally had contacts in) but the audience did make it a little tough#usually im game for a big movie with an audience but there were too many distractions really pulling me out of the experience#last was probably Friday. even though I was jazzed to see it again bc that was the first show in my town there was a kid vaping two seats#away from me and that gave me a headache. plus I had glasses on so again. can’t see part of it bc the frames of said glasses.#thank you to everyone who followed along on this journey! apparently there is a 30 tag limit so last tag:#shelby watches interstellar
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