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#im going to quit my current job next year and he was so nice about it. he always says that i should do what i want to do -
manaosdeuwu · 1 year
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went from absent father to absent mother. not recommendable but it's funny as hell
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avtracker · 6 months
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friday, march 29, 2024
woke up at 9:30 am
shower at 9:45
i have work at 12, so im leaving around 11
10:08 in starting to get dressed and i’m thinking about what i want to do with my life, what i wanna create. i have a couple ideas (and one is in progress!) but all i know for sure is i feel like im born to be some kind of entertainer, in one way or another. thinking about the people i look (or looked) up to and recognizing that they’re like digital renaissance men; music, comedy, sketches, even podcasts or talk shows. i feel like i have a lot to say, but idk how to start or what to start with, which sounds weird to say but it’s how i feel. i should probably finish getting dressed now, i have work today.
i skipped class once again—it started at 10:10, lol. just no energy with the whole “school thing” ig. c’est la vie
(i just don’t like traditional school or traditional jobs; i wanna do something new and exciting and unique. i want to MAKE something of myself)
10:32 i just cleaned the kitchen and took out the trash. turns out the dish soap dispenser got knocked over and spilled all over the counter so i cleaned that. currently running the dishwasher and the dryer, too. there’s still some dishes in/next to the sink, so i hope my dad isn’t too upset. it’s just a couple cutting boards and knives (from all the cheese i’ve been eating) and a pan i haven’t washed yet lol
5:47p just got on discord with em, summarizing work rn: i felt very faint and almost passed out many times, due to not eating and only consuming a monster in the morning. but i had a lemon loaf and then got Cookout with my tip money otw home. chicken strips there are D-tier on god. i listened to Ride’s new album 2x already, going for listen #3 while we play civ v lol. it’s awesome
8:25p played some civ v with em and liam. i’m actually kinda sweating (from fear). liam’s trad/lib strat is going surprisingly well and im afraid he’ll nuke me lol. i think em has been playing strong too, overall im p worried. i did war liam briefly (didn’t kill anything) bc he converted Wittenberg to taoism (the fuck 😡 /j), so i hope he doesn’t harbor any resentment in this game. victory isn’t quite as close as id have hoped and there’s a lot of opposition (em and liam are genuinely good and capable players). i feel way better now that ive eaten; i have to remember to make breakfast tomorrow morning!!!
i have work tomorrow morning (9am). i’m gonna try to go to bed at a reasonable time (10p).
overall today has felt kinda good, apart from almost blacking out a bunch due to no food (lol). i didn’t feel very much sadness, just stress/dread about classes that i’m avoiding (which ik makes things worse but i can’t help it 😭). i’ll see my dad after work tomorrow so that’ll be refreshing; it’s been 2.5 weeks since he went abroad. having good food will be nice too, since he cooks at lot and i don’t cook well (cooking is stressful! i do like baking tho :D) i think i’m gonna try to track what i eat, too, in the new month
tomorrow i’m probably gonna play some terraria after spending time with my dad and then i want to work on some projects: my semi-secret infomercial-based project and maybe some music. i wanna finish the demo for this song about justin, and im gonna go visit my friend sam this summer and hopefully record a split with him and he’s gonna help me with the instrumentals for this song. i’ve been thinking about justin a lot,,, i miss him, or at least who he used to be. it sucks having a friend that totally betrays you and everything you are, yk? oh well, ig. cest la vie lol
i’d also like to do some reading this year. i wanna read Scythe (Neil Shusterman), Interesting Facts About Space (Emily Austin) i’ve been really wanting to read, as well as the classic Fallout: Equestria (Kkat)
- 8:40pm
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God Help the Girl -Part 1/2-
By Rubato This book was published in 2017. Currently out of print.
Chapter 1: The Guard
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Good Morning
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Every day is the same. A black and gray world.
This same man is always amongst the morning crowd, his hair is unusual. An interesting shiny brass in the morning sunlight.
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I only started seeing him in April of this year, so I suspect he’s new. His eyes are always dull. The dead-eyed look of a souless job. Not that different from me really. 
Guard: Good Morning
Very few ever respond when I greet them at the door. 
Reigen: Good Morning
But this man would always looks at me and replies. 
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7:39 and 17 seconds. Guard looks at watch as Reigen swipes his card key.
I don’t know when it started, but I came to look forward to seeing him every morning. Something interesting to look forward to in this otherwise dull job. 
Guard looks at staff key card records. The man who entered the building at 7:39:17
Found it. Reigen Arataka. Don’t know what the Kanji is for his name.
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I’ve been a very reserved person since I was little. I’m not a very emotional. I’ve never really held an interest in anything in particular, or taken an interest in anyone. 
Gotten in plenty of fights as a student. I never start them, I was always just called in to help finish them. I don’t like violence, I don’t hate it either. I just go with the flow. 
After highschool, I drifted around from one job to another, often ended up working with some shady dangerous types. 
Even then, it was more of the same. A largely empty person in a mostly dull life.  I don’t expect anything to change. That’s my life I guess.
I’ve been working at this office for god-knows-how-long when I first saw this guy. 
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-Lunchtime-
Older Guard: Hey
Guard: How are you?
Older Guard: So uh, I’m sorry to ask, but could you take over my night shift tonight?
Guard: sure
Older Guard: What?! Really?! Thank you! That’ll really help me. So, I’ll take your morning shift tomorrow then.
Guard: No, you don’t need to, I can work my own shift.
Older Guard: Um....well... 
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He’s walking around the office at night and notices that one of the rooms still has the light on.
Guard: I’m sorry, but I need you to leave so I can lock up. 
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There’s a guy collappsed over his desk. Guard: Oh... Oh god....
He imagines a news paper headline “Karoshi: Employee dies during the night”
(Japanese office workers occasionally die at work. This is common enough that it has it’s own term “Karoshi” People will spend days at the office, working nonstop, chasing deadlines until their bodies give out. )
Upon closer look the guy is breathing.
Guard: He’s asleep
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Touches hair Guard: I touched it.
Reigen: nnnnnngh
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Guard: Sir, the building is closed.
Reigen: OH NO I FELL ASLEEP! I..Im so sorry, Give me a minute, I need to gather my things.
Guard: Uh, take you time. It’s fine. 
Reigen is escorted to the elevator by security. While they’re waiting for the elevator, Reigen asks: Hey, I see you every morning at the door. 
Guard: ah yes
Reigen: So are you gonna be there tomorrow morning too?
Guard: Yes
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Reigen: Wow you work really hard
Guard: yeah Well, alright, I need to move on and check the next floor. I’ll leave you here. 
Reigen: Thank you. Sorry for the trouble.
Guard: You haven’t been looking well recently, don’t overwork yourself. 
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Reigen: Thank you. It’ll all be over tomorrow, and I’ll finally have a chance to rest.
Guard: ?
Reigen: I’ll be leaving now, thank you. 
Reigen walks out. The caption on the guard says he’s very happy, even though his face has a flat expression. 
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Didn’t think I’d get to interact with him more. Maybe it’s worth staying at this job a little longer. Just think about it that’s all.
As the guard is thinking this, the background comic images show Reigen sticking his resignation letter into his bag.
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Guard: Good Morning
Reigen: Thanks for your help last night.
Guard: GOOD MORNING
Reigen: You don’t have to yell. 
Guard: I hope you got some good rest. Reigen: I left just in time to catch the very last bus last night. You saved me. 
Guard: that’s good. 
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Reigen: Actually, today I’m...(he gets interrupted)
Coworker: Reigen! I was looking for you!
Reigen: Sen...Senpai!
Coworker: I can’t find the data report you were supposed to transfer over. I hope you didn’t shred it. 
The guard tips his hat at him as Reigen is pulled away
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Guard: Alright, I’m headed out
Older Guard: Okay, thanks again for covering my shift
He leaves. A while later Reigen comes by.
Reigen: Hey
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Reigen: Where’s the other guard? the guy that’s at the door every morning....
Older guard: Oh, he finished his shift and went home. 
Reigen: I see. I’m sorry but could you please......
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Guard: Didn’t sleep last night. Guess I’ll go home and take a nap. 
His phone rings. 
Ah... hello?
Yes, it’s me. It’s been a while. Do you have a minute?
Sure 
I have a job for you
Yeah?
It’s a security contractor for a facility on the outskirts of the city.  It’s some kind of government thing or some kind of corporate research lab.  I don’t have a lot of details, but either way, you’d need security clearance. 
We just need some discreet people that wont open their mouths. I think it’s a good fit for you. 
I’m sorry, but I’m busy with my current job. 
Is that so? Well the pay for this position is very nice. I can pull some strings andf offer you a cash advance if you were to accept. Please think about it. 
He hangs up
Thinks: Nah, I’m good, I’m looking forward to seeing him again. 
-The Next Day-
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Employee: Oh god I’m late!
Guard thinks: I didn’t see Mr. Reigen today. He’s never missed work. Did something happen? 
Older guard: Oh hey, I’ve got something for you.
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Guard: huh? Energy drinks and a card for the lobby coffee shop? The card has “Take care of yourself!” written on it.
Older guard: The guy with the light hair left them for you. He said it was too much trouble to take this stuff home, so he said you could have them.
He walked out with a box, I think he quit.
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Oh, I see.
Life was dull once again, like it had been before.
TO BE CONTINUED
“God help the Girl“ is an odd title, but it’s actually a song from 2017 when this was first written. It’s about a person working a day to day job just to pay the bills. Their life is so mundane and dull that only supernatural or divine force will make it something different.  
This comic is an attempt to explain why Ekubo always possesses that one guard in fanworks. 
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robinofinashiro · 3 years
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“look, i know we don’t know each other that well, but i’m still worried about you. no one deserves to be alone.” 
characters: hoshiumi kourai x fem! reader / slight miya atsumu
request status: OPEN / please send any reqs you guys have! my inbox is currently empty and im lacking in any kind of writing inspiration...like seriously lacking lmao. there could be a part two if any of you are interested in one. 
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you looked at your now ex boyfriend, trying to keep your tears at bay. the two of you were standing outside the bar, not knowing what you were planning on saying the man you loved as you saw him with a girl on his lap, laughing and giggling at whatever he was saying. 
“you could’ve just broken up with me, it would have saved me time and effort,” you told him with a stone cold face. you could tell Atsumu was in a straight panic, not knowing what to say or do, “honestly, I would have handled the break up a lot better than you would have assumed I would have.” 
Atsumu reached out to grab your hand but you quickly snatched it back, putting it behind your back, “no, you don’t get the right to hold any part of me anymore. whatever you were doing, do it with the girl you were just with,” you exclaimed, a laugh of bitterness leaving you, “but I don’t want that girl, I want you!” he yelled. 
you rolled your eyes, not believing a word he was saying, “no, you wanted a girl to fuck with on the side while I waited for you at home. you’re just angry you got caught, Miya, that’s all,” you stated. Atsumu felt stray tears falling down his face as you noticed a familiar face with snow white hair popping out of the front of the door. 
“as wrong as this is to say, I was always preparing myself for this. my grandmother always said to have a envelope of cash and money as runaway money in case I ever needed to get away...” you played with you finger nails before looking up to him for one final time, “I’ll be moved out in a few days. the apartment is under your name and I don’t mind getting a new place,” you added on. 
Atsumu saw you walking away, not believing that you were actually leaving him. he grabbed your ankle, practically putting on a scene for everyone who was hanging out in the front of the building, “Atsumu, this is embarrassing for you. quit it while you still have some dignity left, jesus christ,” you said not realizing the mantrum that he was throwing, “you really should’ve thought this all out before you decided to cheat. I always had one rule and you knew it. I could quickly replace you as fast as we got together and this was your one chance.”
you kicked yourself out of his grip, walking into the bar to have yourself a drink. you saw the girl who was on Atsumu’s lap not wanting to look you in the eye as she sat on her chair in shame, “enjoy him girlie because as you can tell, he’ll quickly replace you when he gets bored,” you tipped your glass of dark liquor to her in a ‘good luck’ type of way before finding an empty seat. 
that familiar snow white hair you saw earlier happened to be Hoshiumi who was walking towards you. you being the former Inarizaki manager made you know the names to the most popular players from each team they played so Hoshiumi was no stranger. 
“hey,” you heard his voice say over the music. you gave him a smile with a small wave, not wanting to say, “you okay? I accidentally overheard your situation with Atsumu earlier,” he asked, pulling the seat out from the other side of the table.
you shrugged knowing that all the raw emotions from the argument and what you just had saw hadn’t settled in yet, “I don’t know,” you said truthfully, “my boyfriend of three years was cheating on me and if I’m okay right now, I know I won’t be tomorrow,” you explained. 
Hoshiumi nodded understandingly, “do you mind if I sit with you for the rest of the night?” he asked quietly, in a sort of shy way, which was odd considering Hoshiumi was just as hyperactive as Hinata Shoyo from Karasuno way. “look, i know we don’t know each other that well, but i’m still worried about you. no one deserves to be alone.”  
you felt that pang in your heart as you saw the warmness on Hoshiumi’s smile. you tried to contain your tears as best as you could but Hoshiumi saw right through that. he tracked down the waitress and ordered the two of you another round of drinks, your choice of course as he tried to focus the conversation on anything that wasn’t Atsumu or your breakup. 
from that night forward, Hoshiumi was by your side for the entirety of your breakup. he was of help when you needed an extra hand to move all your things out of your shared apartment with Atsumu. 
it didn’t sit right with Atsumu at the fact that Hoshiumi was seemingly close to you all of a sudden. he had saw him that night at the bar but he didn’t think he would take advantage of the situation and so quickly. never once in the entirety of your relationship with Atsumu did you ever mention befriending Hoshiumi and so closely but seeing the way he was helping you move out and making sure you were okay threw him way the hell off. 
once you were finished taking your things out of the apartment, you looked to Atsumu and wiggled the set of keys that were on your keychain out. you gave him one last look before handing them to him, “so I take it that you won’t accept the job with the Jackals?” he asked. 
“I think you know that answer, Miya.” 
you walked out of the apartment, leaving a teary eyed Atsumu at the door as Hoshiumi waited for you at the front of the building. your place a few minutes farther from Atsumu’s place. it wasn’t as nice of a place in comparison to how you used to live but it would do until you found a job.
“what are you plans now?” Hoshiumi asked as he helped you unpack things from the box. you shrugged again, “I really don’t know. Atsumu had gotten me a job with the Jackals and those were plans for quite a while but considering that relationship is long gone, I guess I really have to start looking for a job before I go broke.” 
Hoshiumi laughed, feeling his phone buzz multiple times. he looked down to see a few texts from Ushijima and Kageyama. to your luck, the Adlers had also gotten a job opening for a few positions with a team. Hoshiumi had mentioned to the team that he knew someone that could possibly take the position of the old manager and they had been grilling him about it since. 
the pre-season was about to start and they needed an experienced manager and quick. considering your qualifications with Inarizaki and the degree you got in college, he knew you would do well on the job and all you would need is a bit of polishing up in order to be great if not even better than their former manager. 
“listen, I don’t know how willing you will be to accept what I’m about to say but Schweiden has an opening for a positions and one of them is to be the team’s manager and assistant. I might’ve pushed your name because I know you’ve done the managerial position before and we need a manager as soon as possible.” 
your eyes doubled down in confusion as Hoshiumi showed you the hiring paper. you quickly skimmed it down seeing that you had the qualifications for the job. you saw that it was a text from Kageyama Tobio that read if you had accept the position yet before their coach killed them. 
“wait, how long would I be there?” you asked, gripping his phone. you looked at you, now slightly confused himself, “what do you mean? you’d be there as long as you want or until you quit. the position is permanent.” you read the application again and smiled, “I just got this place but tell them I’ll be available for an interview at any time.” 
Hoshiumi tackled you into a hug, his hyperactive attitude running rampant again, “THANK YOU! THANK YOU! the team is gonna be so happy, I know it!” he exclaimed, quickly dialing his coaches number as you sat there, taking in your all new reality. 
after a run through of a few interviews, the Adler’s ultimately gave you the position as their manager and assistant. they found you the most suitable as you had experience under your belt and got along with most of the team. well...as best as you could considering Kageyama and Ushijima weren’t really the talkative type to begin with. 
the move to Tokyo was a bit easier than expected. Hoshiumi quickly helping you into your new apartment as he showed you around the Adler’s gym and even the town when he wasn’t busy. you had your own office since you were assisting the team’s coach with a few office related things but most of your duties were strictly to the team. 
with your new job came new team photo’s for the year as well as your organizations employee id photo. your uniform consisted of black leggings or athletic shorts if Tokyo was particularly hot that day and a Schweiden sweater/t-shirt on game day. on non-game days where you had to be in your office, the general uniform was business casual unless it was Friday’s where you could wear your game day uniform. 
the team photo day was around the corner and the Adler’s even had a few professional makeup artist for anyone who wanted to have their makeup done for the photos. Hoshiumi and to your surprise, Kageyama, landed in the makeup chairs right next to you as they both wanted to be concealed so their under eye bags weren’t as prominent. 
“you ready for the pics?” Hoshiumi asked with an excited smile. you nodded just as excitedly, “working in volleyball again feels so weird but I can’t wait for the season to start!” you exclaimed as Hoshiumi gave you a high-five in agreement. 
unbeknownst to you but known to the entire team, Hoshiumi had fell entirely head over heels for you. his heart eyes weren’t a secret to anyone besides you and if everyone was being honest, they really wanted Hoshiumi to get a move on with asking you out so he could stop coming to practice with a lovesick puppy look on his face. 
after all of you were called to the gym to take the photos, they had all the players and coaching staff take their photos first before any managers and front office staff had their turns. while you waited for your turn, you were talking with the other manager so was an ex player of the team and had recently retired due to permanent injury to his arm. 
“so how do you know Hoshiumi?” he asked as he saw the wave Hoshiumi was giving you. you smiled and waved back, “he was a friend of mine through high school and we just kept in contact since. Kourai and I are basically best friends if I’m being honest,” you explained. 
he gave you a look before giving out a belly laugh, “just best friends? you have to got to be kidding. there’s more to your relationship with Hoshiumi than just best friends,” he admitted. you were a bit taken back by his answer as you asked him to explain, “come on, it’s not obvious? the decoy is in love with you. he follows you everywhere and has heart eyes for you and I can sense the feeling either is mutual or it’s starting to be on your end.” 
you sat in silence, debating whether or not what he was saying was true. you had never taken into account romantic feelings Hoshiumi could have for you and vice versa. you knew deep down, you did harbor feelings for Hoshiumi but up until this point, you had never put it to the forefront of your brain. 
“managers! it’s your turns now!” the photographer said. you nodded, going up to the small set up they had. 
they had you do a bunch of different poses. one photo of just you smiling, another of you holding a volleyball, and a few with the other manager on the team. they had informed you that this year, they would be displaying team player photos along with head manager photos in the front of building, right outside of the gym to show appreciation to the entire team. 
after the photo’s were finished, your head was still playing the conversation you had earlier. the idea of dating Hoshiumi did not sound so bad in the long run and you knew that it now wouldn’t come off as a surprise if you did in fact show feelings to him. 
“Kou, what are you doing tonight?” you asked as he helped you with your bag after practice. he shook his head, saying nothing, “wanna come over? I wanna pig out on food before the season officially starts,” you giggled seeing his excited face as he grabbed your wrist and practically dragged you over to his car, exclaiming you both could get food and snacks. 
the night came down to you watching a few movies from both of your childhood and basically talking/snacking the night away. it eventually got to the point where you moved closer to Hoshiumi, trying to find warmth as your AC was on full blast and you both were too lazy to get the blankets you had underneath your couch to actually get warm. 
“hey Kou,” you said, trying to get his attention. he looked down to you, a warm smile on his face, “would you ever...be interested in dating? I heard a few members of the team saying that you liked me and for a while, I didn’t want to believe that but I figured there was no harm in asking because I totally feel the same,” you finally confessed.
Hoshiumi sat there, mouth wide in surprise as your heart basically fell your ass. your thoughts were immediately plagued with the idea that you had ruined your entire relationship with him but that was quickly put to rest as grabbed your closer and held your face as softly as ever before placing a kiss on both your cheeks before reaching your lips. 
“honestly, I was about to ask you out tonight too. I’ve been having these feelings for a while now and I’m glad you finally confessed. I’ve truthfully liked you since the night I saw you with Atsumu but I didn’t want to make it seem as though I was being pushy.” 
you laughed, pushing yourself away from him a bit as he dipped you down once again and kissed you again. you ran your fingers through his hair as he kissed your neck a bit and parts of your upper chest. 
“you’re the best. I literally thought the best day of my life was the day I got the job for the Adler’s but this beats it by far!” he exclaimed, hugging you now. you laughed, shaking your head at his excitement, “I could say the same,” you giggled as you kissed him again. 
a few weeks finally passed as the season was in full swing now. you were working a few days a week and going out on the days you had off with Kourai. the only dreadful part in all of this was that the Adler’s were playing Msby soon and you knew that you would in fact be seeing Atsumu during, before, and after the game. 
Hoshiumi could see the slight nervousness and panic on your face the day of the game against the Black Jackals. you weren’t as excited as you were usually were and you were responding to the team in snippets and very short sentences. the team could sense your shift in attitude but didn’t bother to question it. 
“hey, you okay?” Hoshiumi asked, pulling you to the side a few minutes before warm ups. you gave him a questioning look, “I can see you’re nervous and I’m pretty sure it’s probably because of Atsumu being here,” he assumed as you reluctantly agreed. 
he sighed, bringing you in for a hug, “you don’t have to work today. I can make up an excuse that you got sick and say you’re in your office watching the game,” he said. you shook your head, “no, it would be immature of me to miss a game because of that fucking idiot. I’ll be okay, I promise,” you whispered, giving him a kiss of reassurance before letting him go. 
a few feet behind, Atsumu had saw the entire interaction happen. his heart was admittedly broken, seeing the way you were kissing and hugging Hoshiumi. he hadn’t known that you were working with Scheweiden nor did he know that you were even dating Hoshiumi. 
when the team had walked into the gym, he had saw your photo in the hallway entering the gym. your smile was one he missed and he felt himself get angry all over again. it had been months since the breakup but you had yet to unblock him from any social media so all of this news at once broke him. 
the game was a lot more intense than they assumed it would have been. Hoshiumi and Atsumu playing to 100% and even getting into small scuffles. you had saw the interactions and knew it was probably because of you but were arguing when it came down to plays so it didn’t look as immature on the court. 
ultimately, Schweiden won the game, beating the Jackal’s by a landslide in their last set. you were smiling at Hoshiumi as the game ended, bringing him a water and giving him a kiss before handing off the waters to Ushijima and Kageyama next. you had ran out of the gym for a few seconds to refill waters for a few players when you ran into the last person you expect. 
“if you can excuse me Miya, I need to refill these,” you said, not even looking at him in the eye. he moved out of the way, seeing thew way you refilled the bottles as quickly as possible. once you were done, you were about to head back into the gym when he stopped you, “how are you?” he asked shyly. 
you sighed, “fine Miya,” you said curtly. Atsumu growled in annoyance, “are you together with-,” “with me!” you heard Hoshiumi’s voice scream through the hall. you smiled at the sight of him as he pushed you behind him and sizing up the much taller Atsumu. 
“this had nothing to do with you, Hoshiumi.”
“oh but it does! she’s my girlfriend, our manager, and a member of the team so whatever you need to say to her, you can say to me!” you laughed at Hoshiumi’s confidence as Atsumu looked at him, rage filling his eyes, “what? what’re you gonna do? hit me? you’d get suspended and look like a complete idiot to the entire V-league!” 
“do we have an issue?” Ushijima asked, looking at Atsumu and Hoshiumi as Sakusa followed him, “no issue at all,” Atsumu gritted as Hoshiumi wore a proud grin on his face.
“that’s great to hear. come on ( your name ). Hoshiumi you better be in the gym in the next minute.” 
“lets go Atsumu, you don’t win anything out of creating a scene,” Sakusa said as he grabbed his friend and tried dragging him out of the hallway. Hoshiumi waved at Atsumu as cockily as possible, “remember Atsumu! not only did we win the game but I also won your girl!” he screamed. 
Atsumu went to jump but was pulled back by Sakusa and Bokuto as you walked out of the gym again to grab Hoshiumi. he grabbed you by the wrist and kissed you in front everyone that was in the hallway. Atsumu could hear Bokuto telling him to calm down but he wanted nothing more than to run over to Hoshiumi and kick his ass before reclaiming you as his again. 
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taelme · 5 years
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Enemies-to-lovers!Bang Chan
request: Hey! Can i request and enemies to lovers slow burn with bang chan where they dont like each other but theres undeniable chemistry
genre: enemies-to-lovers!au, workplace/office!au, (fluff, slow burn, lots of denial of feelings lol) 
pairing/s: Chan / Reader (ft Seungmin and some ocs!) 
word count: 21k rip I got pretty carried away 
tw: not any prominent ones that I can think of, kind of hints of the whole misogyny in the workplace kind of thing 
a/n: I got super carried away writing this I hope you guys like it haha im currently working on the other requests so do look forward to those!! ill try to put them out as soon as I can~~ all this staying at home is really giving me time to write... ( I HAD TO use this gif I just HAD TO) but yes this was a little hard to find reasons why y/n wld hate chan bc im for the chan is an angel agenda but I ended up having so much fun ok BYE 
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“Hey, you free to get lunch later?” You’d bumped into your friend who worked in the company’s legal department, Seungmin, on a Thursday morning while you were in the pantry preparing coffee and tidbits for your boss. 
You nodded, “uh-huh,” mixing the coffee absently, “what are you doing here?” 
Seungmin shrugged, leaning against the counter as he munched on a cookie, “felt like taking a walk. Things have been pretty busy in the legal department lately.” 
“Why?” 
Seungmin gave you a cheeky smile, shrugging, “can’t say, but you’ll find out soon enough.” 
You rolled your eyes, gritting your teeth with feigned menace towards him (his smile stayed unwavering, even sticking his tongue out at you to mock you).
“Who’s that for?” Seungmin gestured to the coffee mugs on the tray. 
“Mr Bang’s supposed to be meeting his nephew or something, he made it seem really important but all he told me was that it’s for his nephew,” you shrugged, glancing down at your two cups of coffee, realisation hitting you. 
“Shit, that just reminded me. He said his nephew doesn’t drink coffee. Do you want this?” You shot Seungmin a pleading look, holding up your now unneeded cup of coffee. 
Seungmin scoffed, taking the mug from you wordlessly, “how exciting your job is, huh,” he deadpanned, sipping the coffee, “wanna reconsider joining the legal department now?” 
You rolled your eyes. 
“I’m perfectly satisfied with my job now, thank you very much.” 
You’d prepared a pot of tea, careful not to spill the water onto the counter as you did so, transferring the pot onto your tray, “and plus, considering the amount of money I get paid for the amount of work I do, I’m more than happy.” 
Seungmin scoffed, “should’ve known it was because of the money.” 
“Alright, I’ve gotta go, see you later,” you said, picking up your tray as Seungmin waved his hand with cookie crumbs on his fingers, the clicking of your heels growing softer as you walked further away. 
Reaching the door of your boss’ office, you’d been able to faintly make out 2 silhouettes through the window from where you stood, composing yourself to make a good impression as you knocked on the door. Hearing your boss grunt, you’d pushed the door open with your shoulder, your gaze focused on the coffee table as you greeted your boss.
Setting the pot of tea on the table, you’d cast a glance at the recipient, your eyes widening when you’d spotted the boy with dyed hair sitting on the plush leather sofa facing your boss, dressed in a clean white button-down and tie, an equally well-ironed pair of pants, his posture relaxed with his legs spread casually. 
His gaze was on you, as if analysing your movements, making you direct your gaze back to your task at hand, setting the saucer with the cup of coffee onto the coffee table, placing the small biscuits your boss liked in the middle of the two. 
Holding the tray close to your chest, you cast a glance at your boss, about to bow in greeting and head back out when his voice had stopped you. 
“Y/N, please, stay here. I’d like to discuss something with you and my nephew.” 
Your eyebrows raised, lips pressed tightly together as you nodded, “oh…cool, alright.” 
“Please, take a seat,” Mr Bang gestured to the space on the sofa next to his nephew, making you seat yourself awkwardly on the other side of the sofa, your body pressing against the armrest as if trying to create as much distance as you could between him and you. 
“So, Chan, this is my secretary, Y/N,” Mr Bang gestured to you, “Y/N, this is my nephew, uh… Chris,” he spoke, the name sounding fairly familiar to you. Chris Bang? You sounded the name over in your head, not being able to connect the dots as to why it was so familiar at this point of time. 
“So, sweetheart, because I’ve been planning on resigning for a while now, I thought I should let you know that I’m planning on handing my position over to Chris.” 
Maybe this was what Seungmin was so busy with. 
You nodded slowly, trying to understand the implications this decision meant for you, “will my contract be terminated, then?” 
Chris glanced at you, as if searching your expression. He found you fairly younger than he’d expected, since his uncle had mentioned earlier that you’d already been working for him for quite some time, going onto 2 years already.
Of course, he didn’t want to underestimate you, but knowing the directors’ reputations regarding secretaries, he wasn’t sure if he could put a label on your abilities without seeing them for himself, first. And to him, he wasn’t quite understanding of why his uncle was so insistent that he needed a secretary, his past experiences with secretaries all being quite unimpressive. 
“That… is unfortunately up to Chris, but ideally your contract will resume as per normal.” 
You glanced back at the boy, who looked at you with an unreadable expression, something about his stare successfully unnerving you, the way he looked at you almost with a certain level of contempt. 
“We’ll be having a company dinner tonight to welcome Chris to the team, it would do the both of you well to get acquainted with each other before the board meeting for ceo elections.” 
You nodded slowly, still clutching the tray close to your chest as you wondered how old he was, the whole ordeal seeming as though it were something out of a movie: a young apathetic heir getting authority over a large corporation at such a young age. Was he even qualified for this position? The rest of the directors were nowhere near his age, well, appearance wise. 
As if having read your mind, your boss spoke, “I’m sure you two will get along just fine, considering you two are so close in age.” 
Your eyes narrowed, something in you not feeling comfortable with this arrangement. Dismissing the thought quickly, you shrugged, figuring it would be a change of scenery from being around the old directors all the time. 
You watched as Chris shrugged.
“We’ll see.” 
=== 
“Who?” Seungmin dabbed at his lips with his towel, picking up his glass of water to take a sip, making you frown, still trying to do your research on Chris Bang as far as your browser app would take you. 
“Chris Bang. He’s gonna take over the company from President Bang.” 
Your words seemed to have elicited a giggle from Seungmin, “doesn’t that make them both ‘President Bang’?”
Seungmin ignored your eye roll, continuing, “this was what I was referring to just now, you know. I thought you would’ve known who he was by now,” he told you, making you set your phone down on the table, open on his LinkedIn page that frankly wasn’t giving you much other than stating how very qualified he was for the job. 
“You know, Bang Chan? Ring a bell? That guy that’s been switching departments for God-knows-how-long since last year. The one that got all of us donuts one time,” Seungmin gave you a ‘duh’ look, considerably unamused. 
“Oh,” only then were you realising just who that was. You knew exactly who he was. You’d heard many rumours from the other secretaries on how he was impossibly good at anything he’d set his mind to, his work ethic and standard incomparable to anyone else in the company they’d ever seen. 
Which was why all that switching departments start to make sense to you, since it could’ve been his way of making sure he learnt the ins-and-outs of every department by the time he took over. If that wasn’t just more evidence that he was definitely a crazy workaholic.
At the time, you’d made a passing comment on how you hoped you would never have to be his subordinate, after having heard stories on how intimidating he was whenever it came to work (especially work that was improperly done). Little did you know that your comment would come back to bite you in the ass so soon. 
“Yeah, ‘oh,” Seungmin mimicked you, taking another bite out of his burger, “why d’you seem so…,” Seungmin made a pained groaning sound as he gestured to you for lack of a better word, “about it, anyway? Shouldn’t you be happy? He’s super nice!” 
You scrunched your nose up, locking your phone in your dismay, not wanting to see his face on his stupid profile mocking you with all his stupid qualifications anyway.
“I don’t know, just kind of feels a little sudden. And I hate the feeling of not knowing if I’m gonna be fired since it’s not up to Mr Bang anymore.” 
“Which one?” Seungmin joked, making you scoff, finding it just a little funny. Only a little. 
Seungmin continued, “you’re just mad because him taking over means you actually have to do work.” 
You shot him a glare, your silence being an acknowledgement that he wasn’t entirely wrong. 
“And because I love Mr Bang! He was such a nice old man that checked in on me and gave me life advice. I’m not gonna get any life advice from someone that’s basically my age.” 
Seungmin huffed in amusement, bringing his hand up to cup his mouth as if to divulge a secret, dropping his voice to a strained whisper, “transfer to the legal department.” 
You sighed, “no, I still love my pay.” 
“Then stop sulking! Chris is the nicest guy I’ve met, you’ll be fine. Just show up to the company dinner tonight and fluff him up a bit,” Seungmin shrugged, “it’ll be smooth sailing from then on.” 
=== 
You figured you should’ve tried to do a lot better to fluff Chris up during the company dinner, instead of just going over to grill the meat for the directors, under the instruction of President Bang. 
The action itself didn’t sit right with Chris, who didn’t understand why it was so imperative to the directors that you be the one to grill the meat until he realised just why they were keeping you there. 
His own uncle was oblivious of course, simply obliging at any chance he got to show off how capable you were (even if it was just grilling meat), however Chris was quick to notice the way they stared at you as you reached between them to grill the meat, your face feeling hot with the steam from the grill. 
“Y/N is very hardworking, graduated at the top of her class in college,” Mr Bang mentioned pointedly, making Chris’ eyebrows raise in surprise. 
“Really? What did you study?” He spoke, knowing very well you were listening, the other directors not paying any attention to learning your background as they prompted you to pour them a drink. You didn’t miss the way his words were accented, remembering hearing from Seungmin that he’d spent a large chunk of his life in Australia. 
Tipping the bottle, you’d answered (albeit a little preoccupied). 
“Law,” you sat back on your heels, “minored in journalism.” 
Chris frowned, not being able to understand why you would’ve chosen to work here as his uncle’s secretary of all things if you had pretty good prospects on your own. 
“How’d you end up working for my uncle, then?” He voiced, your attention diverted when you’d been prompted by a director to take a shot of your own, clinking your glass obnoxiously and leaving you with no choice, an embarrassed flush on your face. 
Taking the shot, you winced at the burn of the drink, glancing back at Chris, who was still looking at you curiously, wondering how you’d felt under the attention of the directors.  
“Did it as a temp job at first,” you told him, “but I guess I realised halfway that I don’t mind it so much, and it paid me pretty well.” 
Chris hummed, you ‘don’t mind’ this? 
One of the directors let out a grunt of distaste, “you shouldn’t worry about that, doll. The job of a secretary is to look pretty, the pride of the company is in its secretaries,” he said, clearly having already had one-too-many drinks, his words leaving an awful aftertaste on your tongue, his hand going over to grasp your shoulder, his hand going down to your arm and squeezing. 
“I always told her she’d do well as a housewife. That way she wouldn’t have to work and just mooch off her husband.” 
You mustered a smile, setting the bottle of drink down and bowing to them, Chris having lost his appetite at the way you’d just let their comments slide. 
“Maybe she prefers mooching off of the directors, instead,” Chris murmured, his sharp tongue getting the better of him, catching your attention as you were walking past him, making you stop in your tracks.  
Chris’ uncle tut his tongue, nudging the boy harshly, making him raise his hands in surrender. 
“What? Just speaking off of observation.” 
You turned around, a surge of confidence arising in you (from where? You weren’t sure, maybe it was the fact that in your eyes he was still what was standing in between you and your possible severance pay), “excuse me?” 
“I’m sorry, was there any untruth in what I said?” Chris turned, his gaze almost challenging you to speak out against the directors, not knowing that it was only serving to spur you on to speak out against him instead. 
 You scoffed, Chris standing up and awaiting your answer, a voice in you screaming at you not to be intimidated by him, especially with the way his head tilted down ever so slightly, his eyebrows raising expectantly. 
“Didn’t know they would just let any rude petty kid run any company these days,” you narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms and straightening your posture. 
Seungmin, who was watching from his table with the legal team, grimaced, deeming Chris’ expression to be anything but friendly at the moment. 
“I don’t know, maybe it’s just a little unbelievable to me that I’m supposed to be answering to someone who just got the company handed to him,” your words were coming out faster than you could help it. I mean, you were probably going to get fired anyway, right? Might as well go down with a fight. 
“You don’t know anything about me,” Chris muttered, his voice firm, annoyance laced in his tone. Your words seemed to have triggered a spark in him, annoyed that you were doubting his abilities, blatantly disrespecting him even after knowing he could be your superior. 
Mr Bang had tapped Chris’ calf harshly, “enough, don’t keep y/n from eating.” 
Ignoring his words, Chris had stepped forward, staring you down as the tension had only thickened between the both of you. 
“But then, what would you know, right? What was that again? Right. What are you here for other than to look pretty, hmm?” He tilted his head at you, flashing you a smile that was practically dripping with sarcasm. 
You practically seethed with anger, your fists clenching as you unfolded your arms, your finger coming up to point at him, “you know what? I’d rather eat beansprouts for the rest of my life than work for you.” You scoffed. 
Chris' amused lilt to his smile was only serving to annoy you even more, making you storm over to your table with the other secretaries, all of them casting you looks of concern or shock that you would have confronted him like that. Picking up your jacket, you’d scoffed, casting him one last look before you left, not expecting to see him again afterwards. 
Well, that was the part you were very very wrong about. 
That night, you’d called your boyfriend over to submit him to a seemingly never-ending rant about Chris, getting a text from Seungmin halfway. 
“I mean, isn’t it good, then? That you can find another job?” Your boyfriend tried to reason, pressing a kiss to your neck as you straddled him where he was sitting leaning against your headboard. 
“That’s not the point,” you insisted, pausing to read the text that Seungmin had sent, oblivious to his urgent kisses trailing up to your jaw. 
seungmin (personal)  2:12am -consider yourself lucky. Spoke to Chan just now, make sure you show up to work tomorrow.- 
“The point is that, he’s arrogant. What? Telling me that I’m only here to look pretty?—“ 
“In his defence, you insulted him first.” 
You glared at your boyfriend, “Yeah, fine. But he provoked me first. And I don’t know, something about him just pisses me off,” you tried to reason, your boyfriend’s kisses beginning to distract you from your anger. 
“You know what, maybe you should just give him a shot. Maybe he’s not as bad as he seems?” 
And so you did as Seungmin had instructed, doing what you would’ve always done, grabbing your boss’ morning coffee before going to the office, ‘leisurely’ making your way upstairs as you tried to avoid any possible suit-clad blond-haired man. 
Upon reaching your desk, you’d set your things under your desk, opening your scheduler and doing a quick run through of Mr Bang’s schedule for the day, grabbing the coffee and knocking on the glass doors before entering. 
“Y/N! Just the person I wanted to see.” You nodded, walking over to place his coffee onto his table.
“You have the board meeting in half an hour, sir,” you informed him.  
“Right, thank you. Would you be a dear and be there to serve the refreshments?” 
You nodded, “yeah, sure.” 
“If all goes as planned, Chan- I mean, Chris, will be taking over from next week onwards. So this week will be the last week i’m here.” 
You frowned, “it’s a shame you’re retiring, you know,” your disappointment was evident in your tone.  
Mr Bang simply waved you off, “it’s about time, I’m sure little Chris will do a good job.” 
You’d kept your mouth shut, nodding as he stood up with his coffee cup in hand, looking at you with a smile, “shall we head down a little earlier, then?” 
You nodded, opening the door for him to exit and following him silently to the venue of the board meeting. You were surprised, to say the least, when you’d reached only to find Chris there already, currently in an animated conversation with one of the directors, smiling like you’d never seen before, dimples showing on his cheeks. 
Excusing yourself quickly, you’d gone to the pantry to prepare the drinks, your time here having made you familiar with the respective directors drink preferences. Carrying your tray carefully, you’d pushed the door open with your hip, seeing all the directors seated already, all seeming fairly comfortable around Chris, only serving to make the feeling of dread build in the pit of your stomach. 
Making your way around the table, you’d distributed the drinks to the directors personally, refusing to make eye contact with Chris as you gave him his stupid cup of tea. 
Once the meeting had started, you’d dismissed yourself outside the room, a part of you trying to listen in on the board meeting but not being able to hear much through the thick panelled glass. You were surprised when barely half an hour had passed and you’d heard applause in the room, peeping through the window to see Mr Bang give you a signal that you could come in. 
Pushing the door open carefully, you saw the directors practically lining up to congratulate Chris, leaving promptly after looking all-too satisfied with the outcome of the meeting. 
Mr Bang was speaking to Chris as the rest of the directors were leaving, “well, I guess this means my work here is as good as done. I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to hear the news,” he pat Chris on the back. 
You were about to head out with Mr Bang, eager to avoid Chris when you’d heard him speak, “Y/N, I’d like to speak with you for a moment. Is that alright?” He cast a look at his uncle, who waved him off. 
“Of course, she’s not my secretary anymore, remember?” You cast Mr Bang a look of distress, seeing him chuckle before giving you a thumbs up, exiting the room happily.  
You winced, turning around so you were facing Chris, seeing him walk over to where you were, holding out a thick bound stack of papers for you to take. 
“What’s this?” 
"A contract. You can pass it to me by the end of the day once you've made your decision. I trust that you're familiar with reading contracts?" he asked as you stared at the papers, flipping and scanning through the print, realising that his terms were considerably more demanding than his uncle. 
"You'll be able to find an additional attachment where I list what I would expect in a secretary. Feel free to consult me if you're unclear about any of them, though I don't think you would need to." 
Your eyes lingered on the section of the contract, stating that you would be on a year of probation, but that the contract could be terminated whenever he felt appropriate. 
"Whenever you deem appropriate?" you scoffed, looking up at him in disbelief. 
He smiled, "very pretty wording, don't you think?" 
"That's all I wanted to say. Remember, I'll expect your response by the end of the day." 
You stared blankly as he shrugged his jacket off, draping it on one arm. 
"Go ahead, what are you waiting for? You can go for your lunch break now," he urged, before his features pulled into a look of realisation, "oh, forgot. That is, unless you would rather eat...what was that again? Beansprouts?" 
Your mouth opened, making as if to retort before you shut your mouth quickly, your eyes widening as he walked over to you, his gaze intense and serious, a contrast to the demeanour he wore while chatting up the director previously. 
"I can handle myself, you know," you attempted to defend yourself, watching as Chris had shrugged. 
"You have one whole year to prove that to me." 
In that one year of working for Chris, you'd learnt a lot of things. Not only about your position as a secretary, but about Chris, ( not to mention, just exactly how spiteful he could be ).  
1. Sleep was a luxury. 
In your first week as his secretary, Chris had surprised you with the sheer rate of progress he was aiming, and moving at. It was as if all the rumours you'd heard before about his work ethic were a gross understatement of his tenacity. 
You'd been having trouble adjusting to his deadlines, especially since he had entrusted more tasks to you. From surprise presentations, to drafting up proposals and reports, not to mention submitting research to him. To you, it felt as if you were doing half the job for him. 
In short, you had never missed Mr Bang more than you did then. 
Of course, Seungmin being your voice of reason, would shut your rants down, claiming it was ‘about time you do your job’, but of course, you loved to complain. Especially since it was someone you didn't have very fond feelings for that was assigning you the work. You grew increasingly irritated in the time you were adjusting to your sleep schedule, which Chris, and your boyfriend had definitely noticed. 
Because of your changes in brain activity levels, you assumed (google could only diagnose so much), whenever sleep came to you, you welcomed it with open arms.  Since waking up had become even more of a chore to run over to the coffee shop and squeeze yourself between the crowd of working adults and panda-eyed college students to get his very specific breakfast order. 
You'd gone home from a birthday party of your boyfriend and your mutual friend, things having gotten a little...out of hand at your boyfriend's apartment since it'd been so long since you'd been able to spend time together, not with you always falling asleep during video calls or refusing them altogether for the sake of getting your work done. You'd missed him, and something about being apart made you miss his touch. 
Jolting awake, (as if your body had been able to tell that your sleep was too smooth), you'd instantly sensed that something was wrong when you saw the light streaming in from behind the curtains, knowing for a fact that you usually woke up when it was still a little dark out. 
Turning around, you'd fumbled for your phone on the bedside table, letting out a loud gasp when you saw the time. You were already a whole half-hour late. 
"Shit!" 
Your boyfriend startled, letting out a groan, his arm still lazily draped over your stomach. 
"Did my alarm ring?" you asked, shoving his hand off of you and groaning, slipping out of bed quickly as you put on your clothes from the day before, not having any more time to go back to your apartment and get a fresh change of clothes. 
"I don't know, I didn't hear anything," you heard your boyfriend mumble from where he lay. 
Cursing, you'd ran over to his bathroom, washing your face quickly, a gasp leaving your mouth as you inspected the angry marks on your neck through the mirror. 
"I hate you so much," you tugged up the collar of your turtleneck, successfully hiding the marks when you’d let your hair down. 
Grabbing your things, you'd sprinted downstairs, hailing the first cab you could see and heading to your office. 
Was he going to fire me? You were still on probation, so there was no reason he couldn't, right? 
You'd fixed your hair anxiously as you jogged into the lobby, your shoes clacking noisily against the floor as you ran into the lift, even debating on whether taking the stairs would have been a better idea as the lift went up at an achingly slow pace. 
Finally reaching your floor, you’d made your way to the meeting room, tossing your bags outside the door and entering with your laptop, notebook and pen, keeping your head down and avoiding Chris’ gaze as he was presenting to the room. 
Taking your seat at the only empty seat left, (unfortunately, closer to the front of the room), you’d let out a small sigh. Expecting to hear Chris comment on your tardiness or whatnot, you opened your laptop, picking up on the minutes where you could. 
Keeping your head down, you’d felt your colleague from the marketing team lean over to you as Chris had given everyone some time to analyse what he was showing on the screen, his lack of a comment making you even more anxious. 
“Your hair’s a mess,” she whispered, making you wince, your hand going up to comb your hair into a ponytail in your attempt to look neater, hearing your colleague gasp. 
“Dude! Put your hair back down, your neck,” she whispered, your eyes immediately darting to Chris’ direction, seeing that he was in fact staring at your jaw and neck as well, turning away quickly, the reddening of his ears giving him away.
Your hands let go of your hair as though you were burned, hearing your colleague snicker beside you, “I see someone had fun last night. Was that why you were late, too?” 
You shushed her as Chris cleared his throat, embarrassment flooding your senses as you continued to take minutes, hoping that he wouldn’t be as mad at you if you showed that you were trying your best. Fat chance, but hey, you could dream. 
Chris had started to assign things that he’d wanted the different departments to focus on for the project at hand, flashing a slide of deadlines that you watched people scramble to confirm with their existing information. You were secretly hoping someone would hold him back with a question so that he was too busy to confront you. 
Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case today. The meeting ended promptly, Chris leaving you in relative silence as you packed up your things, your colleagues giving you a look of sympathy as you followed him silently out of the room back to your desk. 
“In my office, please,” he murmured. 
You fiddled with your fingers, already anticipating for him to fire you. 
“Can you explain to me what happened this morning?” 
Your eyes widened, not daring to meet his gaze as it flickered between anything in the room other than him, “I uh..I didn’t um…I didn’t hear my alarm ring and nobody woke me up so I overslept.” 
Chris’ stare was unwavering, leaning against his desk and folding his arms, “so is it not your responsibility to make sure you show up to work on time?” 
“No, yeah of course it is—“ 
“Then I would like to see you be accountable for your mistakes,” he continued, “I’m not saying you can’t make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes. But if your mistake is what puts an entire room of people at an inconvenience, I would prefer if you were a little more apologetic about it.” 
You’d let a short period of silence fall between the both of you, “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, your gaze fixed firmly on his shoelace, “am I fired?” 
Chris let out a small sigh, shaking his head. “No, but, you know, if you ever let anything like this happen again, I won’t hesitate to fire you,” his voice was stern, annoyed almost. 
“And Y/N, if this,” you looked up at him watching him gesture to his neck with his hand before gesturing back to you, making you cower, tugging your collar further up your neck, “is what’s the issue here. I’d suggest you start prioritising.” 
“Sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear,” you rushed to speak, bowing quickly before exiting the room as fast as you could, wanting to tear your hair out in both annoyance and embarrassment. 
You’d jumped when you heard the sound of your desk speaker, Chris’ voice sounding through the phone, “Is there a problem, Y/N?” 
Your eyes widened, rushing over to your desk phone, shaking your head as you pressed the button to reply, “no, no! Not at all. There was just a… a bug here.” 
Chris huffed, bringing his hand up to hide his amusement, watching you scramble to regain your composure. 
2. Chris was a workaholic 
It was seeing (and experiencing) all the late nights in the office and the erratic pattern of his emails on weekends that drew you to this conclusion. His routine of sleeping late and then proceeding to get up at ungodly hours to either get work done or give up on the idea of a smooth sleep, since you were aware that he tended to have trouble sleeping. Not to mention the way it seemed to you as if the top priority in his life was his work, wanting to do his best to get the company to where he wanted it to be. 
After a few months of working for him, it was very clear to you that your job entailed not only taking care of his work, but taking care of him. 
You were going over to the legal team's office to collect the binders Chan had left to them, seemingly needing one of them now, thankful to have spotted Seungmin along the way as he was leaving his desk. 
Shooting you a look of sympathy, he'd peeked his head out to glance at your area, noticing everyone else in your team had gone home already. 
"Working late again?" 
You were sure you looked horrible, with bags under your eyes and your complexion looking dull from lack of sleep, but well, you had to earn a living, right? 
You shot him a pointed look, "you know the rules, can't go home until the boss goes home," you heaved a pained sigh. 
"You know, I'm starting to wonder if he even has a social life," you thought out loud, earning an amused grunt from Seungmin. 
"I could say the same about you." You ignored his comment. 
"What d'you need?" he asked, though you were already making your way to his superior's desk, grabbing the file and leaving a post-it to say it was with Chris. 
"Nothing, just this." You let out a small grunt at the weight of the binder, your wrists aching from all the filing you'd done that morning and afternoon (you never did notice until now how inefficient Chris' uncle's document organization system was). 
"All the best," he gave you a thumbs up, earning a pitiful pout from you before you'd headed back to Chris' office. 
Knocking on his door, you'd heard him murmur for you to come in, pushing the heavy doors open with your shoulder as you shoved your way through the doors,  placing the binder onto the coffee table where he'd had his documents and laptop laid out haphazardly. 
Chan's hair was a mess, likely from running his hands through it as he worked, his tie discarded and the top few buttons of his shirt undone, looking at you with tired eyes. 
He was about to ask you for some water, but you'd seemed to have read his mind, walking over to the table near his desk and pouring him a glass of warm water from the flask. 
"I'm almost done with the filing, but I'll be outside so you can let me know if you need anything." 
You'd felt your pocket buzz with a notification, momentarily taking your attention away from Chris. 
Chris glanced at the files before looking back at you in thought, stopping you before you could exit the room, "actually, can you help me to write a report on this, I'll need this by tomorrow afternoon." 
Knowing Chris' deadlines, that meant he would've needed it by tomorrow morning, which left you no choice other than to start working on it now. 
Chris picked up a small file with a post-it note stuck onto the file, handing it to you. 
"The points are all there. I would've done it myself but by the looks of it this is gonna take a while more than I expected," he sighed, his hands on his hips as he stared at the pile of papers in front of him in disdain. 
Chris never would've admitted that he'd started preparing the post-it notes for you in case he wasn't able to complete his work in time, since he usually opted to write from his head, but he knew you worked better with structure. He'd only realised after starting to do it that it helped him draft the write-ups more concisely, so of course, the reason was always 'for his own convenience', never creating opportunities for you to think he actually tried accommodating to you. 
"This current arrangement is very un-environmentally friendly," you mumbled, staring at the papers as well. 
"I'll go get this done now," you gave him a nod, exiting his office as you pulled your phone from your pocket, the text from your boyfriend practically glaring at you, asking if you were able to meet that night. 
10:47pm - sorry, working late :( gotta work on a report due tomorrow morning - 
Biting back your disappointment at having to bail on your boyfriend again, you'd nodded resolutely, pulling up your delivery app to order food for Chris before you started on the report lest he start to get irritable because he was hungry. 
And lastly, the point you couldn't quite seem to wrap your head around, was that 
3. He was very nice, just...not so much to you. 
After the oversleeping incident from before, it was safe to say you'd never let a similar mistake repeat itself. You were constantly making sure you were alert and responsive to anything Chris could possibly throw to you (and he knew this too). 
The only downside Chris saw to this, was that it seemed as though your attitude towards the directors hadn't changed. Still swallowing their disgusting comments and serving them with a smile, even if they were looking everywhere but your face. It irked Chris. And it irked him even more that the only one you seemed to serve without a smile, was him. 
Unbeknownst to him, you'd shared the same sentiments. 
"Do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on in their head?" you spoke. 
Seungmin snorted, "wait, are you talking about the meme or..." your lack of a response made Seungmin follow your gaze (or glare) to where Chris was seated at the other end of the table, giggling and smiling as he spoke with the other secretaries. 
"Ah," Seungmin nodded, understanding now why your spoon hadn't moved an inch from your bowl, your grip around it almost death-like. 
"What are you so mad about? He's not doing anything?" 
You shot Seungmin a pointed look, your voice lowering to a murmur, "can't you see it? With them he's all rainbows and unicorn shit but with me it's like just smiling would kill him." 
You heard the secretaries letting out giggles and impressed sounds at something Chris had just said, the sound itself enough to make you annoyed. 
Seungmin's eyebrows furrowed, looking at you in scepticism, "you know the secretaries are only being nice because they're interns, right? I heard from one of them that they're actually really scared of him." 
Seungmin brought his chopsticks to his mouth, taking a piece of food from your bowl that he knew you weren't going to eat anyway, "especially after they saw how he spoke to you during the meeting the other day,"
You scoffed, "good to know that I was the warning." 
Your phone buzzed, signalling a text from your boyfriend. Strangely enough, it'd been a while since you'd texted him, since you were busy with work and he was busy with school. 
Ignoring it initially, too distracted by Chris, it wasn't long before you saw his caller ID show up on the screen, getting Seungmin's attention. 
"I think you should answer that," he gestured, making you glance around the table in your hesitance, not knowing if it would be rude to just exit halfway. 
Picking up the phone-call, you'd turned your head, lowering your volume to a murmur, "hello?" 
"Hey, can we talk? I really need to tell you something." 
You winced, "is it urgent? I'm at a team dinner right now." 
Your boyfriend sighed, scoffing, "it really is always work with you, huh." 
"What's that supposed to mean?" 
You glanced at the table, standing up to excuse yourself. Chris's expression read confusion, eavesdropping on a secretary asking what happened, Seungmin replying that it was your boyfriend calling. 
You'd made your way outside the restaurant, Chris glancing in your direction and spotting you walk past the restaurant's windows, a part of him shaking off whatever curiosity that lingered in him as he focused on his conversation. After all, you did tell him you could handle yourself, right? 
Where you were, you'd moved to a quieter spot outside the restaurant, "okay, I can talk now. What's up?" 
You kicked at the ground absently as you awaited his reply. 
"Look, are you free to meet tonight? There's something I need to tell you." 
"Uh..." you glanced into the restaurant, making eye contact with Chris before looking away, "I've got to work later, though. I need to get some research done for this review that i'm behind on, I don't wanna meet you if i'm just gonna end up on my computer while you're there, you know?" 
Your boyfriend nodded, "you know, that's kind of what i wanted to talk to you about." 
"Oh," a feeling of dread was building in your stomach, recognising your boyfriend's tone to be the one he used whenever he was talking about something serious. 
The first time you heard it was when you witnessed him on a work phone-call, the second being how he spoke to your parents the first time they'd met, but this time, you had a feeling you knew what was coming. 
"Let's break up." 
You fell silent, not knowing how to respond to his words. 
"Is it, um.... is it because of my work?" You asked, a part of you not being able to come to terms with the fact that it could have been your fault, "because you know I can't do anything about that." 
Your boyfriend sighed, "I know. I'm just talking about how you've been so emotionally invested in your work you don't even have the energy to maintain this relationship." 
You frowned, "what, what do you want me to do, quit my job? Will that be better for you?" 
"Look, i've been seeing someone," he began. Your heart sank. 
"And i'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason. But... it was only when I started seeing her that I realised... things between us just weren't the same as before." 
Your heart felt heavy, a part of you knowing that he was making it a lot easier to be mad at him by confessing what he did, but another part of you couldn't help but prompt him further. 
"When did it start?" 
"That doesn't matter-" 
You sighed, taking your lower lip between your teeth, "it's fine, I just wanna know." 
"Fine, it was about a month in from you working for your new boss." 
You nodded slowly, still trying to process his words. You weren't quite sure what came over you when you saw Chris exiting the restaurant, turning to face your direction and spotting you in the alley. But it was as if you were so mad at yourself, mad at him, mad at your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend now), that you'd ended the call, shoving your phone into the pocket of your blazer before heading over to where Chris was. 
"You guys aren't going home?" you heard one of the secretaries ask as you and Chris had approached his car, his driver already sitting in the car and waiting. 
Chris shook his head with a smile, "nope, we're heading back to the office." 
You mustered a smile as you bid them goodbye, you guessed this was probably the best time to bury yourself in your work as a poor coping mechanism after a breakup, as far as movie breakups went.  
The car-ride was silent, despite the pinging of your phone, making you switch it to silent mode halfway, earning a curious look from Chris, though he didn't make to ask you about it. 
Upon reaching the office, the both of you had gone back into your clockwork routine, as you sat in his office working on your computer and scribbling down on your notebook the important details you wanted him to check. Chris found that your background in law and journalism made it a lot easier whenever it came to reading and condensing information, which had only allowed him to trust you more when it came to getting tasks like that done, saving him precious time he could spend working on other things. 
The buzzing of your phone was growing more frequent, though it was as if you were oblivious to it now as you typed away at your computer. 
"Right, can you help to postpone tomorrow afternoon's meeting, and help me to make a reservation at the steak place, 2 people." 
You hadn't made to move, pulling your phone out but having gotten distracted at the multitude of missed calls and texts just because your boyfriend wanted to 'make sure you were okay'. Please. 
"Hello? Can you hear me?" you heard Chris call, snapping you out of your daze as his gaze searched your expression, trying to read your emotions. 
"Sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't hear you." 
Chris sighed, his annoyance at your phone that had lit up with a call again getting the better of him, "you know I don't ask you to stay later just for you to waste my time, you know." 
Your gaze hardened. There it was, the side of Chris that you had the 'privilege' of being at the brunt of, nowhere near the smiley giggly Chris you witnessed at the restaurant just now. 
"I said I was sorry. What do you want me to do?" 
Chris huffed, his gaze darting to your phone as he spoke, "reservation for 2 people tomorrow afternoon, the steak place my mom likes. Postpone tomorrow afternoon's appointment with Director Lee." He told you slowly, his tone as if speaking to a young child, which only served to piss you off even more. 
"Who's calling you?" he asked. 
You shook your head in dismissal, "my...uh..." you weren't sure how to respond, watching dumbly as he made his way to where you were, lifting your phone to read the contact before letting out a huff. 
"Okay, well you can tell your boyfriend that if you're gonna be this distracted at work, you can kiss your night goodbye." 
You inhaled deeply, absolutely upset but knowing there wasn't much you could do about it. You loved your job, even though you hated to admit it. Ever since Chris came in, you were getting a lot more work experience and exposure, especially with how he would make it mandatory for you to attend certain language courses that would help him whenever you accompanied him on networking events or business galas. 
And in that moment, you couldn't help but think back to what he'd said the first time he'd scolded you when he'd told you to figure out your priorities. Maybe your boyfriend called you at the right time, maybe you just weren't ready to focus on things other than your career at this point of time. 
Turning your phone off, you'd made sure Chris saw that it was off, raising your hands up in surrender, "done. I'll book your stupid reservation now." You stalked out before Chris could chime in with a 'watch your tone'. 
=== 
You'd been working for Chris for what was coming to 2 years now. The company had been reaping the results of their hard work for a while now, and you were thankful that even though you weren't as busy as before, you still managed to keep your job. Other than the fact that Chris’ hair was now back to dark brown, not much else had changed. 
Although, one tiny change you were starting to wish for was that Chris would at least try to make things a little more bearable for you. 
You were currently at a meeting with the directors where Chris was presenting the overview of the company's performance in the past month. You would have to say you were pretty satisfied with the work you'd both done on that, working a lot more efficiently now compared to when you'd first started out. 
Your silent admiration of the presentation was interrupted when one of the directors summoned you over to ask for a cup of coffee.
Doing as you were told ( much to Chris' dismay ), you'd gone and come back in record time with his hot cup of coffee, bending down and making your way to where the director sat, not wanting to prevent any of them from seeing what Chris was presenting. 
While he was presenting, it didn't take Chris very long to realise why the director had kept asking you for things, your position from where you were squatting next to him making it all-too-easy for him to ogle at you without you noticing. 
For some reason, this seemed to have gotten on Chris' nerves, especially because that director's secretary was simply minding her own business at the back of the room. 
Did Chris think what you were wearing that day was nice? He'd say he didn't but of course he did. But unlike the director, he preferred not to be so blatant about it, especially because you were always so rude towards him. 
You'd tensed momentarily when the director had grabbed your arm, about to get up when you heard Chris' voice get louder. 
"Y/N, I'd appreciate if you would stop distracting the directors and go back to your seat." 
(Later on, Seungmin would be struggling to hold back his laughter in the printing room when Chan told him to tell you to button up your blouse a little more. 
“Why can’t you just tell her yourself?” 
Chan scoffed, “knowing her, she’s just gonna think I was looking at her… chest or something.” 
Seungmin narrowed his eyes at Chan teasingly, “well, were you?” 
Chan waved him off with a groan, “just tell her, okay? The directors are having a field day with her looking like that.”)
You'd almost scoffed at the way the director had immediately let go of you, and you straightened up quickly, heading back to sit with the other secretaries. 
"That was harsh," you heard one of the secretaries murmur to you, making you shrug. 
"Whatever, not like I expected more from him anyway." 
(You did, you totally did. You'd kill for him to be less grating with his words). 
After the meeting, you'd felt a phone ring in your bag, pulling it out to see that Chris' mom was calling, obviously not having been able to reach him. Making your way to where he was, you'd interrupted his packing of his things. 
"Your mom is calling you," you'd told him out of habit, holding his phone out for him to take, jumping slightly when you'd heard one of the directors let out a dismayed grunt. 
"Is that any way to talk to your boss?" 
Your eyes widened, Chris seeming to be enjoying the situation play out before him as you regained your composure, looking back at Chris with a sickly sweet smile on your face. In front of the directors, you couldn't act up like how you usually did when it was just the both of you, so you had no choice but to be all smiles
"President Bang, your mother is calling you," you told him, and if you were annoyed, you didn't show it, having years of practice from dealing with the directors. 
"uh-huh," Chris smirked, taking the phone from your hands and answering it as he gestured for you to help him gather his papers. 
"No, mom. I’ve told you already, i’m really fine with how things are now. I'm not going on another one." 
Not that you cared, but you had to admit you were kind of curious as to what he was so insistently refusing.
"Yes, okay, bye," he hung up, handing the phone back to you. 
You'd tried your best to suppress your curiosity, seeing as he was about to be late for his next meeting with one of his friends if he hadn't hurried. 
Fixing your blouse, you'd carried your laptop in your arm as you walked with him back to his office, with you going into the lift first, Chris having chosen the wrong time to step in as a girl you recognised as one of the interns had done so too, the number of people squeezing into the lift causing her to jerk her arm, her coffee landing unceremoniously on Chris’ tie and shirt. 
Chris let out a hiss at the temperature of the liquid, eliciting a long string of apologies from the girl. You knew that if it was you that had spilled the coffee, he would be going on and on about carelessness now, but the intern obviously wasn’t you, and so you watched in envy as Chris had given her a smile, dismissing her apologies quickly. 
“It’s fine, really. I just hope you still have some coffee left to drink,” he laughed. 
Not only was he not upset, but he was joking with her too? 
You scoffed, rolling your shoulders back as you’d watched the numbers on the elevator rise till it reached your floor, the girl looking scared for her life when you’d cast her a look, bowing to you apologetically. 
“Where did you keep the spare change of clothes?” Chris asked as he’d begun loosening his tie. 
You hadn’t responded as he let you walk before him into his office, making your way over to one of the cupboards at the side of the room and opening it, pulling out a hanger with a nicely ironed set of work clothes. 
“You can go and get changed, I’ll wait here,” you murmured, Chris walking over to where you were and giving you his stained tie. 
God, you hoped his dry-cleaning run wouldn’t make you late for your lunch appointment. 
Looking at his tie, you brought it up closer to your face to inspect the material, it was a well-made tie, you had to say. Not too skinny, the material feeling almost luxurious in your hold, tempting you to put it on in your boredom. 
Hanging it round your neck, you mustered your best ‘Chris accent’.
“You should be accountable for your mistakes! Don’t you know how many people you’re inconveniencing? Now I have a tie that reeks of coffee, look,” you held up the tie with a gasp, “and my secretary’s gonna be late for her lunch meeting!” You pointed accusatorially at the small black penholder that sat on his desk. 
“Yeah! Do you know how much you’re inconveniencing me? I don’t ask you to show up to work to waste my time—“ 
You’d stopped in your tracks when you heard Chris clearing his throat, grimacing as you tried to regain your composure, taking off the tie as quickly as you could, holding it tightly in your palm as you turned to face him. 
“Having fun?” 
“No,” you shot back quickly, not even wanting to ask how long he’d been standing there. 
Walking over to you, he’d handed you his stained shirt, his expression like that of a parent that had caught their kid doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. 
“You know, sometimes I wish you’d talk back to the directors like how you talk back to me.” 
Your eyes widened, confused at his sudden comment, but not having the time to respond as Chris continued. 
“Get these dry-cleaned over lunch. The stain’ll be harder to get out the longer you wait.” 
You huffed, already walking away from him, “well, when you say it like that I’d might as well go do it now.” 
You'd been keeping yourself busy with replying emails when you heard the elevator ding, the sound of footsteps getting louder before you saw a considerably young, suit-clad man walking towards your desk. 
"I'm here to see Chris? I'm Director Kang," he told you, though you didn't need him to introduce himself, knowing very well who he was. 
"He's in there," you held a finger up to signal him to wait as you picked up your desk telephone, pressing a button to page Chris. 
"Director Kang's here to see you." 
"Okay, send him in."
Chris closed the work he was doing on his desktop, making his way over to the leather couches as he saw his friend enter the room. 
"Yo, when were you planning on telling me about your hot secretary?" 
Chris' eyebrows raised, "didn't think that was something worth mentioning."
"Well, why not?" his friend frowned, his features pulling into one of shock, "wait, don't tell me... you guys are dating?" 
Chris rolled his eyes, "no, we're not. And please, for both our sakes, don't try anything funny with her." 
The director was about to respond, interrupted by your knocking on the door, the door opening slightly so you could enter. 
"Can I get you anything? Like a drink? Coffee? Tea?" you asked. 
The director simply looked at you curiously, sitting with his ankle resting on his other knee, "only if you'd care to join me." 
Chris glared at his friend, shutting him up quickly before he could say anything more, "coffee for him, I don't want a drink."
You nodded, exiting quickly.
"What did you come to tell me about?" 
"Must I have a reason to come and visit my beloved friend?" 
Chris rolled his eyes, "my time is precious." 
This made the director scoff, "is that your excuse now? Anyway, I came to ask if you were going for Brian's wedding next weekend." 
"Oh, yeah, right. He asked me about it last night and I said I would go, you?" 
Director Kang rolled his eyes, "can't, I've got a business trip that weekend." 
Chris hummed in acknowledgement, "that reminds me. I should get a gift for them soon. Who'd he say he was marrying again?" 
"This girl he met at work, she's nice. But, you know, not my type." 
As if that wasn't enough, Director Kang continued, "anyway, are you bringing a date?" 
He was interrupted once again by the sound of your knocking, the door opening as you made your way over to them, bending to place the cup of coffee down onto the table, making Director Kang gesture to you with his head, mouthing 'you should bring her'. 
Waving him off, Chris was eager to get Director Kang’s attention away from you, almost as if wanting to protect you from getting swayed by him, knowing the outcome was never too bright. 
"Y/N, you can go for an early lunch break today." 
Your eyebrows raised, the prospect seeming almost too good to be true. Since when was he so nice? 
"Huh? But I still have some stuff to hand the legal team..." you sounded unsure, though you did consider this to be luck since you were supposed to meet one of your friends from college for lunch today. 
Chris gave you a stern look, waving you off, making you raise your hands in surrender. 
“Okay, okay, I’ll go.” 
On your way out, you’d texted your friend that you were gonna be able to meet earlier, pleasantly surprised when she’d told you she was already in the area and that she was able to head over now. 
You’d managed to drop off Chris’ clothes for dry-cleaning before heading to the restaurant, spotting your friend already seated at your table. 
“Hey! Wow, you look great!” She told you, giving you a hug in greeting. 
“Feel a lot better compared to last year,” you joked, making her frown. 
“Your boss still giving you trouble?” 
Shrugging, you’d taken a seat, “nothing out of the ordinary. Seems like it’s part of his daily routine to annoy me.” 
She laughed, “I ordered our food already, if you don’t mind.” 
Shaking your head, you waved in dismissal, “no, yeah, I don’t mind. Thanks. Anyway, you look pretty good yourself, how’ve you been?” 
You didn’t miss the way she’d leaned closer to you, tucking her hair behind her ear in a pointed gesture, drawing your attention to the large gemstone on her ring. 
Your eyes widened, “no way.” 
She nodded, “I wanted to tell you sooner but you were so busy! I was glad enough I managed to squeeze in this lunch with you,” she told you, making you pout. 
“When’s the wedding?” You asked. 
“Next week. We’re going to have it in this beautiful church out of town, really really nice place,” she told you, “really romantic, too,” she added as an afterthought. 
You let out a deep sigh, “I hope you’re not going where I think you’re going with this.” 
She gave you a scandalised look, pausing as the waiter had come to deliver your food, “first of all, Brian has a lot of good-looking friends!” 
You gave her a look, prompting her to continue, “well, not that I’ve seen all of them but he tells me that a lot of them are single! And you know who else is single…” she pointed her finger towards you with an overly excited glint to her grin. 
“We’ve been through this a million times, Eujin. I’ve tried but it’s really hard to find a guy that’s willing to cope with… you know, my kind of schedule,” you gave her a tired (wistful) sigh, “and with my schedule, I doubt I have the time, not to mention the energy to date.” 
Eujin’s lips twisted into a frown, “but it’s been so long! Don’t you want to get back in the dating scene?” 
You scoffed, cutting into your food harshly before taking a bite. 
“Of course I do. But the last time I went on a date the guy basically shat on me for being a workaholic,” you huffed, “I mean, my boss’ working hours means my working hours, shouldn’t they just shit on him instead? Why is it my fault that he’s basically destroyed what I have left of a social life.” 
Eujin shot you a look of sympathy, “I’d say I pitied you, but it’s not like you can’t get a job anywhere else, you know?” 
You’d kept your mouth shut at that, “I know… it just… I can’t just leave when I’ve already gotten so used to how things work here.” 
Of course that was one reason, but you would never admit that there was a nagging inside of you that didn't trust Chris to look after himself if you weren't here, remembering how he'd overworked himself during a crucial period after he took over the company, and you'd found him passed out on his desk when you showed up to work that day. 
You'd sort of made a silent promise that as much as you didn't like him, you still cared for him in a way. In the way a secretary would care for her boss, totally. 
You decided to change the topic, not wishing to talk about your hopeless love life at the moment. 
“What’s the program gonna be like?” 
Eujin’s eyes lit up, setting her cutlery down as she clasped her hands together, “Okay, so. The plan is for it to be a sort of weekend-long thing,” she told you, holding her finger up. 
“Firstly, on Thursday night we’ll have a little girls night type thing, and then Friday is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday will kind of be a little rest day and then Sunday is the actual wedding,” she said, now holding up four fingers to you. 
Your head was spinning at the (rather enticing) thought of taking basically 4 days off of work, before the dread settled in that you had to ask Chris for permission to take those days off. 
“I hope my boss will let me take time off…” you murmured, already rehearsing in your head possible ways on how you could tell him. 
Eujin gave you a resolute look, “you can do it! If he says no just let me know, I’ll go over to your fancy office and fight whoever he is myself.” 
=== 
“How many days?” 
Chris had asked at your desk as he prepared to leave to meet his mom for lunch since she’d happened to be in the business district. 
You fiddled with your pen anxiously, “uh..4 days? Technically 3 and a half. But 2 of those are weekends I just need you to make sure you just don’t bother me on that weekend it’s a really important weekend.” 
Chris narrowed his eyes at you, unsure why you were so insistent on him leaving that weekend alone, nodding slowly. 
Whatever, he figured, she’s just lucky I’m busy that weekend too. 
“Okay.” 
“I swear I’ll—wait, you’re okay with it?” 
Chris shrugged, straightening his tie, “yeah. I’ve got something on that weekend too.” 
You let out a surprised hum, “oh… cool. Thanks…Mr Bang,” you added as a force of habit, not wanting to risk getting scolded for ‘insubordination’ again just because you didn’t call him by his honorific. 
Chris huffed, leaving before you could see his ears reddening. 
Over lunch, Chris’ mom had been inspecting him carefully as he ate, as if the answer to her worries lay in every piece of sushi he ate. 
“Is there something you’re not telling me? Are you… gay?” She asked, continuing, “because if you are you know you can just tell me, instead of constantly upsetting the girls I try to set you up with.” 
Chris gave her a unamused look, “mom, I’ve told you a thousand times. I would really love to date, but it’s hard to find someone with a similar work ethic as myself, that can keep up with my… lifestyle and who really understands my needs, you know?” 
This made Chris’ mom perk up, “that’s it! Why don’t you just date your secretary!” 
Chris almost choked on his sushi, fumbling to grab his glass of water to calm himself down and compose himself. 
“What,” he spoke between coughs, “gave you that idea?” 
His mom looked at him in disbelief, “whatever you just said, you were basically describing her, no? And plus, we’ve heard a lot of wonderful things about her from your uncle.”
Chris couldn’t help but entertain the possibility in his head. It was true, you did work at a very efficient pace with him, not to mention how spending almost everyday in such close contact with him made you understand his own needs and wants even better than he did on occasions. Chris shook his head, that wasn’t possible, right? You looked as though you’d absolutely hated him half the time, he’d be expecting too much from you if he’d expected you to fall for him. 
Chris shook his head, dismissing the thought from both him and his mom’s minds quickly, “no, mom. I’m fine with how things are between us right now.” 
Chris had let you leave the office earlier on Thursday, (much to your surprise) allowing you to have ample time to pack your bags and get a cab to the destination, Eujin having taken the liberty and helped you book your hotel beforehand. 
Upon reaching, you’d texted Eujin saying you’d reached. 
eujin 6:54pm -yay!! Lets just chill in one of our rooms, we can discuss it in the chatgroup!!- 
Trust her to be excitable even about the smallest things. 
You saw an incoming text from Seungmin. 
seungmin (personal)  6:54pm -what where r u I went over to find u but both u and Chris weren’t here- 
6:55pm -im at a friends wedding, took the weekend off-
seungmin (personal)  6:55pm -wow finally using your employee perks nvm then have fun- 
You’d checked in, marvelling at the cozy yet elegant look of the hotel as you made your way through the lobby, letting the lift take you up to your hotel room floor. 
Changing into more comfortable clothes, you’d seen the group chat saying to gather in Eujin’s room, with mentions of ordering pizza. Considering this was your first weekend away from work in a very, long while, you were determined to make the most of it, heading over to Eujin’s room. 
You hadn’t expected to be welcomed as warmly as you were, hearing comments of ‘we were so happy you could make it!’ Or ‘thank God you could take time off!’, sharing the same sentiments as them as you’d let Eujin pull you onto the bed, the softness of the sheets and pillows instantly making a content sigh leave you. 
“I ordered room service,” Eujin sing-songed, gesturing to the Champagne bottles and whatnot on the tray next to the bed. 
“I’ll have one,” you raised your hand, earning a laugh from one of your friends. 
“Tired from work?”  
You let out a loud groan, nodding. This made Eujin nod gravely, “I swear, if I ever see your boss in real life, I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind.” 
You scoffed, “you don’t even know what he looks like.” You’d gratefully accepted the glass of champagne that was handed to you. "and plus, he's not that bad, other than the fact that he finds joy in pissing me off. He just works too hard in my opinion." 
You’d spent your time enjoying the once chance you could relax to your heart’s content without feeling dread at having to wake up early the following day, enjoying yourself as you leant against the headboard of the bed, listening to stories about how they’ve been and how all of them were either planning on getting engaged soon, were in long-term relationships or already married. 
“You guys make me wanna get married too,” you pouted, earning bouts of laughter from them. 
“You’d have to actually date to do that, you know,” they told you pointedly, making you sigh. 
“You’re basically married to your job, already,” your friend chimed in, making you laugh. 
“Seems like that, doesn’t it? I was super shocked he’d let me have the weekend off, usually he’d be swarming me with emails about now.” 
“I’m excited to see Brian’s friends tomorrow, maybe there’ll be someone that catches your eye,” Eujin told you, making you shrug. 
“Just out of curiosity, though, what are you looking for in a guy? You know, we could help you keep an eye out too.” 
You hummed, shrugging. 
“I’ve never really thought of a specific…criteria I guess. I guess I’d just like someone that’s kind, looks out for me, doesn't underestimate me...sort of has the same lifestyle as me? Since it’s honestly been really hard to find someone that doesn’t hate my schedule.” 
You'd almost scoffed at the way your brain had refused to picture anyone else other than Chris while you thought about it, figuring it was probably because he was the only guy you were in constant contact with. 
Eujin looked at you resolutely, “we’ll do our best,” she held up a fist in an action to cheer you on. 
You shrugged, You figured maybe going into this with an open mind would do you some good. 
You changed the topic, directing the focus back to Eujin, “whatever, let’s just have fun, it’s your big day soon, let’s just celebrate!”
===
At the rehearsal dinner, you had yet to arrive, since you’d spent a little longer getting ready, choosing to use your opportunity to dress up a little more, not having the luxury to do so during your usual work days. 
You had texted Eujin that you were on the way with some of the other bridesmaids, her attention directed elsewhere when her fiancé had called her over. 
“Hey, wanted you to meet some of my friends from law school.” 
While being introduced, Eujin couldn’t help but wonder if they were single, remembering your mentioned criteria from the night before. 
“Oh, so are you guys all working in the law sector now?” 
Her husband shook his head, “All of them, except Chan here. He’s the ceo of Bang Mobile Media company.” 
Eujin’s eyes widened, glancing at the brown-haired boy cautiously, as if sizing him up. Y/N worked in a mobile company too, right? If she was remembering this correctly. Was it mobile or broadcasting? 
“Oh, wow. That’s impressive.” 
Eujin had let them introduce themselves more, not being able to help but think that Chan was nice, friendly, and rich on top of that? 
“I don’t get it, how are you single? You’re basically the whole package!” She wondered out loud, making Chan flush, giggling as he shook his head. 
Her husband seemed to have begged to differ, “Chan is incorrigible when it comes to his love life.” 
Eujin raised her eyebrows in surprise, not having expected someone so good-looking to have such a fate, “really? Is there a reason behind that?” 
“He’d never dated much, even back when he was in Australia. He was always super dedicated to his work,” this had served to make Eujin even more positive about this guy’s prospects as a suitor for you. 
“Oh my god, you’re exactly like one of my friends, I should totally introduce her to you when she comes later.” 
“Hey, cut him some slack,” one of his friends had spoken up, “Chan can’t cheat on his job.” 
Eujin felt her phone vibrate signalling a notification, pulling it out to see that you’d arrived already, excusing herself and practically running over to the entrance of the venue. “Chan, you stay put, I have just the perfect girl to introduce you to!” 
“Y/N! You have to come quick, I think I found the perfect guy for you.” 
Your eyes widened, clutching onto the chain of your bag as you followed her into the room. 
“He’s really nice, and friendly, and he’s good-looking! Really cute dimples! And on top of that he’s loaded. I’m so excited for you to meet him.” 
Letting her drag you along, you’d distracted yourself with the atmosphere of the area, wondering just how much it would cost to book a venue like this, tugging down your dress that was hiking up from practically running after Eujin. 
“Hey, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Chan, this is Y/N,” Eujin chirped, the names causing the both of your heads to shoot up, locking eyes with each other as a feeling of doom built in the pit of your stomach. 
Your eyes widened in panic, glancing down at your attire, back to him, who was dressed in a flowy black shirt that you were sure cost more than your one week’s pay, the top few buttons of his shirt undone to reveal a simple silver necklace, and fitted black pants, your gaze landing on the small silver rings on his ears, almost feeling as though you were looking at a different person. 
Chris thought so too, seeming to have the same panic as you as he tried not to let his gaze linger too long on your dress, nodding his head at you in greeting, “nice to uh…meet you.” 
His ears had felt hot as you nodded back at him, almost startling when Eujin had cheered, leaning over to whisper to you, “I’ll make sure you guys get to sit next to each other.” 
You were about to protest when she’d left, leaving you standing at the bar with Chris. 
“So, Y/N, how do you know the bride to be?” 
You gulped, wanting to slap yourself for how your gaze had kept returning to Chris, unable to shake the feeling of needing to be in work-mode now with his presence before you. 
“Oh, uh, we were friends since college,” you answered simply. 
“Cool, did you guys have the same major?” Chris had to stop himself from glaring at his friend, a strange feeling inside of him as he recognised the look on his friend’s face and his posture to be that which he used whenever he was interested in a girl. 
You shook your head, “uh, not quite. I majored in law but she majored in journalism.” You tried to respond as calmly as you could, not being able to shake Chris’ gaze off of you, feeling as though at any moment he was going to call you out for something you weren’t even aware of.
You saw the guy practically light up at the mention of law. 
“Woah, that’s really coincidental. All of us met in law school,” he gestured to the group of them, making you laugh nervously. 
“Where are you guys um… dates?” You asked, immediately regretting the question when you saw the way Chris was practically glaring at you. 
You didn’t understand why he was glaring at you, wasn’t it a valid question? 
“We didn’t bring dates, unfortunately. Did you?” 
You shook your head, making Chris snort. “Does it look like she brought a date? She literally came in alone.” 
You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure where his spitefulness was coming from, especially when his friend was just trying to make conversation with you. 
You scoffed, folding your arms. “Yeah, pity. Maybe I’d have time to date if I wasn’t always so busy running around doing shit for my boss,” you cast a pointed glance at him, bringing a hand up to nonchalantly run it through your hair. 
Chris smirked, two could play at this game.
“Same here, I’d probably have the time to date too if my secretary wasn’t always causing trouble.” 
“Your secretary?” His friend spoke up, “I heard from someone she was pretty cute, and nice too.” 
You’d almost wanted to agree, realising that if you did it would put you in a pretty compromising position, simply acting surprised. 
“If I had a secretary like that, I’d just date her,” one of his friends had spoken up, making your eyes widen, wracking your brain for possible responses. 
“Who knows, are you a workaholic?” You asked pointedly, earning amused grunts and laughs from his friends, “ah… it’d be too bad if I was your secretary, then. I absolutely can’t stand dating workaholics.” 
Chris narrowed his eyes at you, the both of you knowing you were just as bad at him, replying calmly, “oh, you can’t stand dating workaholics? Me neither.” 
You were thankful that Eujin had given you a small break when she'd invited everyone to take their seats so dinner could be served, wincing when you'd ended up sitting next to Chris out of habit, momentarily forgetting that you weren't attending a networking session. 
You'd hoped and prayed that you wouldn't slip up more than you already did. As much as you'd wanted to spite him, he was still your boss, and you knew he'd give you an earful for even the slightest hint of disrespect ( which you were sure you'd surpassed already ). 
Focusing on the gorgeous food they'd served you, you saw the waiter pick up the bottle of wine, pouring it for you. 
Having been oblivious, the waiter was about to pour a glass for Chris as well, making your secretary-instincts kick in, your arm darting across Chris to stop the waiter in time. 
"No, Mr Bang, you shouldn't drink that." 
Chris would have looked fairly amused if he wasn't stressed out by your proximity, with you practically leaning over him to speak to the waiter. 
You'd cursed internally, wincing at the way Chan's friend had looked at you, tilting his head in confusion. 
"Mr Bang? And how do you know his alcohol preference?" 
Chris let out a nervous giggle as you straightened up, "uh...well um like...you know it's a really funny story actually... we're um..." 
Not being able to bear his awkward fumbling any longer, you'd butt in, "We work in the same company. Yeah." 
You were lucky his friend had bought it, simply nodding in understanding, "no wonder, you guys were being so weird just now." 
Chris scoffed, "what weird?" 
You turned around in your chair, pretending to pick up your bag, "stop, you're making it worse," you murmured so he could hear you, making him bring his glass of water to his lips. 
One of your girl friends had spoken up, halfway through the meal, "wait, i just realised. If you guys work in the same office, then you must know her boss right? That dude is crazy. We all thought it was a miracle that she could take time off for the wedding," 
You glared at your friend, trying to subtly shake your head in your attempt to stop her, but she was oblivious, "she doesn't like it when we badmouth him but it's true! Ever since she started working for him it's like her social life just disappeared. Her boss is always her first priority." 
You'd never related more to how people said they wished the ground would swallow you whole. Looking down at your food, you'd tried to remain nonchalant about it, but Chris who was next to you was looking at your friend with wide eyes. 
"Oh, really? What else does she say about him?" 
You laughed nervously, waving your hands in dismissal, "nothing that concerns you."
Chris turned to you, dropping his volume to a murmur, "is that so? because i'm hearing all this and i'm getting the feeling it definitely concerns me." 
You let out a huff of anxious laughter, bringing your glass to your lips, consuming your drink in sips because your boss was sitting next to you, but secretly wishing you could down it all in one go. 
Soon enough, all your anxious sipping had made you reach an empty glass, the waiter coming over to refill it for you, earning an eyebrow raise from Chris. 
"Leave me alone," you huffed. 
Chris simply laughed, "what? I didn't say anything." 
You'd tried to pay attention to the proceedings of the wedding rehearsal, and after dessert was served people had started to mingle around more, the drinks having started to kick in as you'd felt a lot more relaxed. 
It was safe to say Eujin was as well, going around to talk to the guests and thank them for coming out of town for the celebrations. 
Soon enough, you were almost done with your fourth glass, oblivious to the way Chris was looking at you, impressed yet concerned. Feeling skinny arms drape over your shoulders, you turned your head to see none other than Eujin, cooing at you affectionately. 
"Tell your boss a huge thank you for letting you have this weekend. I couldn't even get to see you on my birthday or for the engagement party, but i'm so so glad you're here now." 
You couldn't help but glance at Chris, knowing that you'd missed both of those events because you were helping him with something. The first being when he'd almost overworked himself enough to warrant a visit to the hospital since he hadn't been sleeping or eating well (after that, you swore you'd make sure this man was getting his three meals if you could help it), and the second time being when you had to accompany him to a keynote session out of town. 
You were starting to think maybe there was a little more to unpack behind your reasons why you stayed working for Chris Bang. Your only consolation at this point of time being that the rehearsal dinner was ending soon, meaning that you could finally escape the suffocating tension you were feeling. 
"Wanna hitch a ride back together? I drove here." 
You'd almost declined, feeling as if you didn't have a right to be in his car if it wasn't work-related. Chris had seemed to sense your hesitation, simply not waiting for a reply and walking off, hoping his smile wasn't too obvious when he'd heard you jogging to meet his pace. 
He'd surprised you even more when he'd opened the passenger door for you, shutting it gently after you'd gotten in. 
You'd given in to the comfort of his car almost immediately, more-so when Chris had gone to take something from the boot of his car, getting into the driver's seat and draping the soft blanket over your lap. 
"The drive back's pretty long, might wanna make yourself comfortable." 
And you were comfortable, very comfortable. Chris had started to play some music from his playlist, something about his behaviour almost making you forget that he was the same boss that had worked you to the bone for over a year. 
"I'm sorry," you suddenly spoke, once you were in the city, "about what my friends said," you weren't sure where all your courage was coming from, maybe it was the many glasses of wine, but whatever it was, it was putting Chris in an awfully reflective mood. 
"And what I said," you added as an afterthought. 
Chris took his lower lip between his teeth, shaking his head, “nah, don’t worry about it.”
Obviously, that seemed too good to be true, and you’d looked over at his expression in your attempt to figure out if he was being sincere. He was definitely gonna fire you. 
“I’m not gonna fire you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just kind of…like, you know, wondering,” he began, “the uh… engagement party and the birthday party that you um… you know, that you missed. Were they both because of me?” 
You pursed your lips, nodding, “but it wasn’t your fault, you know. The first one was when you’d passed out… you know, at the office, remember?” 
He nodded, prompting you to continue, “the next one was a keynote session that I had to follow you to.” 
Chris gulped, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. This whole time he wouldn’t have guessed you’d been giving up these things for him from how willing you’d seemed to work. Was this considered neglecting the needs of my employee? Probably. But whatever it was, Chris knew that he was being harsh on you more for his own sake than yours, but he was only starting to realise now that that might not have been such a good tactic.
Chris was already pulling into the hotel, stopping at the valet services as you’d slung your bag over your shoulder, Chris coming out to open your door for you, making you grimace, feeling as though you should've been the one to open it for him. 
Walking into the hotel lobby, you'd glanced at your phone, seeing as Eujin had texted you tomorrow's plans, "did you get the schedule for tomorrow? I can forward it to you-" 
Chris let a giggle escape him, nodding, "you know they would've sent it to me too, right?" 
Your lips parted in realisation, nodding as you went over to press the lift button before he could even reach over to do so, "right, forgot." 
You were sure it was something about your intoxicated state that was making you instinctively go into work mode, whatever relaxation you thought you would be getting on this weekend now seeming all too far from reach. 
"Uh... I can check what time the hotel serves breakfast and arrange for something to be sent to your room if you want-" 
"Y/N," his tone was enough to make you straighten up, goosebumps rising on your skin for some reason. 
Chris was looking at you in amusement, one hand shoved into his pocket, "you're not working, remember? This is your rest weekend." 
Your eyebrows knit in a frown, chewing on your lip as you averted your gaze, "I know but it's just... like I didn't expect to see you here and now that you are I can't help but feel like I'm at work or something," you'd turned to wonder what was taking the elevator so long, watching as the numbers had gone lower and lower, completely skipping your floor and heading to the carpark. 
"You know what? How about this," he began, pausing momentarily when you heard the elevator ding, stepping inside the empty elevator and pushing your floor button, your heart almost stopping when he hadn't made to press any button. 
"You're on the 14th floor too?" He nodded. 
"Anyway, as I was saying. To make things easier for you, let's just pretend we don't know each other, that i'm not your boss, you're not my secretary. We're just... two people that met at a wedding? You don't have to do anything for me as long as we're here, hmm?" he offered, seeming to sense your hesitance 
"Look, I'll go first," he stretched his hand out as if to ask for a handshake, "hello, nice to meet you, i'm Chan." 
"Chan?" 
He nodded, "my friends call me Chan. People only call me Chris at work." 
You'd brought your hand up slowly, grasping his in yours, the cold metal of his rings against your skin more obvious when he'd given your hand a small squeeze. 
"Nice to meet you, Chan. I'm Y/N?" you tried, looking at him for approval and earning a nod from him, trying your best to ignore the way he was smiling. 
"Yes, that's your name," he laughed. 
Letting go of his hand, you were thankful the elevator had reached your floor without any interruptions, realising just how lucky you were to have not bumped into him earlier on as he'd continued walking with you to your room, gesturing to the door opposite your room with wide eyes. 
"My room's here." 
You made to take out your hotel room key, hearing him clear his throat, and you'd turned around rapidly to face him, strangely eager to know what he was about to say. 
"Say, Y/N, I'd love to, you know, get to know you more. What do you think about getting brunch with me tomorrow?” 
You opened and closed your mouth for lack of a response. This was inappropriate, right? But then again, you weren’t working this weekend. And technically, in this situation, Chan wasn’t your boss. So, there was nothing to lose. 
You nodded, “Yeah. That sounds…nice.” 
=== 
“Sounds kind of suspicious if you asked me,” you heard Seungmin’s voice over the speaker, making you sigh. You were already ready, lounging on your bed as if to mentally prepare yourself for a stupid lunch. 
“Right? I don’t know what he’s trying to get out of this.” 
Seungmin knew. But it’s not as if he was going to tell you, no, that was Chan’s job not his. Frankly, he’d had enough of listening to the both of you whine about your apparent personal vendetta against each other. He watched his fair share of movies, Seungmin knew how these things worked. 
“Maybe it’ll give you a chance to actually talk to each other like normal human beings instead of just bickering all the time for no reason.” 
“I have a reason, I’ll have you know.” 
Seungmin scoffed, “really? Enlighten me, then.”
You’d fumbled for a reason, stuttering in your failure to find something that validated your annoyance towards Chan. 
“I don’t know, his dimples are stupid.” 
Seungmin wanted to laugh, “so you’re telling me, you just can’t stand him because of his stupid dimples?” 
Your attention was diverted when you’d felt your phone vibrate, signalling an incoming text from Chan. 
boss  11:20am -meet u outside your hotel room in 10?- 
“Shit, he wants to meet me in 10 minutes.” 
Seungmin shrugged, “10 minutes is more than enough time for you to come up with a less shitty reason why you don’t like him. Or for you to realise that you don’t actually hate him.” 
You scoffed, burying your face into your sheets as you thought of a reason. 
“Okay, I’ve got it. I just don’t like how he treats everyone so nicely and then treats me like I’m some incompetent kid.” 
“You know for a fact he doesn’t think you’re incompetent. He literally trusts you more than he does the other staff.” 
You scoffed, “yeah, whatever. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s so condescending about it, he thinks of me i’m some kid that doesn’t know anything.” 
Seungmin snorted, remembering the incident where Chan had asked him to tell you to button up your blouse after the directors behaviour during a meeting. 
“Oh, he definitely doesn’t see you as a kid,” Seungmin cackled, earning an eye roll from you.
Glancing at the time, you saw how it was almost 11:30, “okay, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” 
Ending the call, you’d slung your small bag around your shoulder, giving one last glance at your appearance in the mirror in the bathroom before leaving your hotel room, startling when you’d spotted Chan there. 
Dressed in a black pullover and jeans, Chan smiled at you, bringing a hand up to touch his ear, “morning,” he greeted. 
“Good morning,” you huffed nervously.
He’d already begun walking, making you follow beside him, “did you get a good sleep?” 
His eyebrows raised at your question, nodding at you. His hair was curlier than usual, not styled up like you usually saw. “you?” 
You nodded, following him in silence as you’d gone down the list, realising he’d pressed the ground floor instead of where they were serving food on the 3rd floor. 
“You pressed the wrong floor,” you began, not expecting to see the pleading smile on his face.
“Actually, I was thinking of bringing you to this place nearby, I’ve been there before and it’s pretty good.” 
Your first thought was to wonder if it was expensive, knowing that this time you didn’t have the company card to fall back on. 
“Is it expensive?” You asked, seeing him shrug. 
“Not really.” 
Only when you’d reached the area did you realise how much of an understatement Chan made. The restaurant was a small cozy-looking place that served food that you’d only heard of up till now, located along a line of boutiques selling unusual trinkets and handmade items. 
Upon reaching, you and Chan had been led up upstairs to an outdoor seating area of the restaurant, the view of the scenery accompanied with the breeze instantly putting you in a relaxed mood. 
“Do you like it?” He asked, almost sounding nervous. 
Nodding reassuringly, you’d wanted to run away when you saw the way he’d walked over to where you were, pulling your chair out for you to sit on, making you flush. Never in your life would you have thought your boss would be pulling out your chair for you.
“You know, you don’t have to do that,” you told him, using the menu to hide your face from view, pulling it down slightly to watch how he’d rest his forearm on the table, scanning through the menu with a smirk on his face, his (stupid) dimples appearing on his cheeks. 
“I wanted to. You’d never let me do it for you on any other occasion.” 
You had to admit that there was some truth to what you were saying, choosing to change the subject by telling him you’d decided on what you wanted to eat, choosing something that was still within your budget for the weekend. 
Beckoning the waiter over, Chan pushed his sleeves up to his elbows as he ordered for the both of you, the waiter asking what drinks you would want, a teasing smile on Chan’s face when you’d insisted on water.
“What?” You scoffed, earning a shake of the head from him. 
“Nothing.” 
You’d leant back in your seat, about to tie your hair up into a ponytail, hearing the buzzing of your phone, reading the caller id to see that it was your mom trying to video call you. 
Sitting up quickly, you were about to excuse yourself when Chan had reached over, swiping to answer the call as he lifted the phone, pointing it towards you, his other hand beckoning for you to continue. 
“Hey, mom,” you spoke through gritted teeth, your rubber band between your teeth as you worked quickly to bunch your hair into a ponytail, Chan wanting to slap himself with how his ears had started to feel hot. 
“Hey, honey. Where are you? I called the office but they said you were on leave?” 
You secured your hair, taking the phone from Chan with a grateful murmur of ‘thanks’, making your mother’s eyes narrow, “who are you with?” 
“I’m attending Eujin’s wedding this weekend. I’m just uh…with a friend.” 
Chan looked away to clear his throat, catching your mom’s attention, “guy? I thought you told me you weren’t dating anyone.” 
This had caught Chan’s attention, having remembered Seungmin telling him that you’d broken up with your boyfriend. 
“No, yeah, mom it’s just a friend. Can I call you later?” 
Your mom’s eyebrows lifted, looking at you with a cheeky smile on her face, “oh, oh. Yes, of course you can. Have fun, baby.” 
You hung up quickly, shoving your phone back into your bag, looking up at Chan in question as to why he looked so surprised. 
“Your mom doesn’t know you have a boyfriend?” He asked, as if wanting that confirmation for himself, not feeling comfortable with pursuing his feelings if you were still in a relationship. 
You shook your head, “no uh…I broke up with my boyfriend a long time ago.” 
Chan’s lips pursed, nodding, “oh… sorry.” 
You shook your head, not being able to help a breathy laugh from leaving you, “don’t be. He was…it was for the best.” 
“D’you mind if I ask why? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, I’m just kind of…curious.” 
You shrugged, not feeling as inclined to hide the information, since it was in the past now. 
“Nah he just… our schedules always clashed and I was always too tired by the end of the day to go out to find him and I guess it like, you know, sort of reached a point where I started prioritising my work and it didn’t work out.” 
Chan nodded slowly, the waiter coming over to serve you your food, “go ahead, you can start eating first.” 
You shook your head, insisting on waiting for his food to arrive before starting. “But I’m honestly fine now, it’s been more than a year since we broke up.” 
Chan huffed in amusement, “is that why you said you can’t stand dating workaholics?” 
Your giggles bubbled out of you, “honestly, I only said that to spite you. I’d much rather date someone that understands my schedule and reaches a compromise with me instead of just always expecting me to drop everything at their beck and call.” 
Chan nodded, “I get that. Yeah, work is important and all but… I feel like if you really loved someone you’d find any moment you could to be with them. Well, for me at least.” 
You laughed, “kind of hard, when we spend almost every waking moment with each other.” 
You’d looked up from your food when Chan hadn’t responded, the waiter finally coming over to serve his food, though his expression remained, looking at you as though he’d wanted to say something. 
“yeah,” he huffed eventually, starting to eat his food. 
You’d shocked yourself with how comfortable you were in his presence with the knowledge that you weren’t working. This was what you wanted, wasn’t it? To have Chris treat you nicely like how he did the other employees. Only now you were realising how easy it was to catch feelings for him just from this one change. 
Maybe you were kind of thankful he made it easier for you to hate him previously. 
It was true that you understood him better than most, and that he understood you as well, knowing what got on your nerves and what didn’t, how you worked and how you responded to things. Albeit there were a few things he still didn’t understand, you couldn’t deny that Chan was well-liked in the office for a reason, and you were beginning to experience that reason for yourself. 
Chris had been mulling over what his mother had told him about you, wondering if you were feeling the same tension that he was even as you talked about pointless things that made you wonder why you hadn’t talked about them sooner. 
Not that it was a bad kind of tension (or maybe it was), but it was akin to the feeling of knowing that you would both have to confront a realisation soon. 
“Are you doing anything tonight?” He asked as you were heading back to the car, earning a shrug from you. 
“My friends wanted to have some kind of girls night thing, you?” 
He sighed, nodding, “same, the guys and I are going out for drinks.” 
You shot him a look, “drinks?” 
He laughed, shaking his head, “I can hold my alcohol, I just choose not to drink.” 
Your eyes widened, “and I’m only finding this out now because? Do you remember when I had to drink your drinks for you during the first networking session because you lied to me and told me you couldn’t drink that!”
Chan flushed, “I wasn’t lying, technically. I really couldn’t drink that, I don’t like white wine.” 
You shot him a harmless glare, this time, letting him open the door for you as you got into the passenger’s seat. 
“Don’t drink too much tonight, yeah?” He gave you an amused huff as he started the engine of the car. 
“You too,” you held your pinky out for him to make a promise. 
Chan nodded, linking his pinky with yours as he leaned closer to you, “deal.” 
=== 
You’d heard the sound of beeping at your door that night, wondering what all the ruckus was all about, getting out of bed, taking your hotel room key and pausing the show you were watching on your phone, making your way over to your door carefully. 
“Why isn’t the card working?” You heard a tell-tale Australian accent muffled through the door, looking through the peephole to see a head of messy brown hair, looking as though Chan was leaning against the door. 
Opening the door slowly, you’d acted quickly to grab Chan by the shoulders to steady him before he could stumble forward, the confused boy holding up his hotel key and looking at you in confusion. 
“This isn’t my room?” 
You couldn’t help but laugh, turning him around as you’d ushered him a few steps forward to his hotel room door, “this,” you pointed at the door, “is your room, Chan.” 
He giggled, “you called me ‘Chan’.” 
Taking his hand, you scanned his hotel key, bringing him into his room, finding it awfully neat (unlike yours), smoothly guiding him to his bed and letting him flop onto it. 
Letting out a sigh, you couldn’t help but to feel rather endeared, seeing him open his eyes slowly to look at you, tilting his head. 
“Sorry, I promised I wouldn’t drink so much.” 
You shook your head, reaching over him to grab at his blanket, your movements ceasing abruptly when you’d felt his hand on your back as you hovered over him, his hand moving from your back to your head, patting it gently. 
Pulling the blanket up harshly in your panic to cover him, straightening up as quickly as you could. 
“Shut up, go to sleep. Goodnight,” you said, hurriedly exiting the hotel room and going back to your room, closing the door behind you and trying to calm your rapid heartbeat. 
The next time you’d seen him was at the hotel lobby, where you’d agreed to meet him so you could head to the wedding venue together. Chan had come down wearing a nice suit, something you were more used to seeing him in, his hair styled up in a familiar manner. 
Greeting each other, you’d both decided to pretend the night before hadn’t occurred. With you being one of the bridesmaids and Chan being one of the groomsmen, you were separated almost immediately upon reaching the venue, with him having to help his friend while you helped Eujin. 
“A little birdie told me you came together with Chan,” she sing-songed. 
You scoffed, “aren’t brides usually supposed to be freaking out by now?” 
“Don’t change the topic! So, did you guys hang out yesterday?” 
You shrugged, “yeah, I guess we did.” 
She narrowed her eyes at you, “so? Is there a verdict?” 
You went behind her to take her bouquet, handing it to her as you waved her off in dismissal. 
“Too early to tell,” you lied. 
“Stop avoiding the question! Or else I’ll just have to ask Chan myself,” she huffed sulkily, making your eyes widen. 
“No, don’t do that! Okay, fine. It’s good. He’s nice.” 
Even Eujin’s makeup artist was giving you a knowing look now, making you cower under their gaze. 
“Shut up, focus on your wedding, please.” 
You wished you could’ve done some focusing for yourself, with Chan’s friends nudging him when you’d gone to the back of the church to line up with the groomsmen, all of them seeming to have conspired to let you walk with Chan. 
“Why do you look more nervous than the bride?” He teased, holding his arm out for you to take, making you roll your eyes, bringing your hand up to grasp his arm. 
“You’re delusional.” 
Okay, maybe he wasn’t. You wished you could’ve taken your advice, having been distracted throughout almost the entire ceremony, your gaze constantly flickering over to Chan, and you were sure he’d noticed too, with the way he would smirk and avert his gaze to the floor in his attempt to stop himself from laughing. 
Shouldn’t he be the one that was nervous? He was the one that had shown up drunk at your hotel room. 
After the ceremony had ended and you were all done taking photos with the bride and groom, Chan had offered you a ride to the reception venue, and you’d accepted, not knowing that you would’ve had to squeeze in a car full of his friends too. 
Sitting at the passenger’s seat (thankfully), you’d prayed for the ride to be shorter as his friends had started to question you and Chan. 
“Is there something going on with you two?” 
“None of your business,” Chan sing-songed, only serving to spur his friends on even more, your eyes widening when you’d heard one of his friends murmur.
“Wait, but didn’t he say he had a thing for his secretary?” 
Your hand went up to cover your mouth as discreetly as you could, clutching the bag of your wedding gift for Eujin and her husband and looking out of the window in your attempt to keep your composure. 
Chan had seemed to share your sentiments, his eyes widening as he panicked behind the steering wheel, his mind racing with things he could possibly do to prevent you from hearing what his friends were so freely spouting.
“Oh, did he? Then there can’t be anything going on with her, right?” 
Chan had reached over to turn the volume of the music up, much to your fortune, not knowing if you would’ve been able to handle hearing them talk more about Chan’s love life. 
Eujin wasn’t kidding when she said that she’d make you and Chan sit next to each other, and you’d ended up at a table with Chan nearer to the front, with a few of your friends and their partners. Watching Eujin and her husband enter the hall, you’d been filled with excitement at how happy she had looked, clapping and cheering for them along with the rest of the guests. 
Once they were seated, Eujin and her husband had begun to make their own speeches, thanking the respective groups of people for coming, and you didn’t miss her pointed mention of how she hoped the guests would use this time to get to know each other as well. 
The way Eujin had done things was that dinner was served so that the guests could listen to the speeches and enjoy their meals at the same time, which you didn’t mind since you were absolutely starving. 
You didn’t miss the way Chan had been subtly looking out for you during the dinner, like how he would casually ask if you needed anything whenever he would get up to go to the bar, or how he’d brushed your hair behind your ear so it wouldn’t get into your food (not without a tut of his tongue), earning many surprised looks from your friends which he was oblivious to. 
You figured he was really making use of the ‘let’s pretend we don’t know each other’ thing as an excuse to be nice to you, not that you were complaining.  
You glanced at your phone, skimming over the texts that one of the intern secretaries had sent you to ask you for help, making your friend curious. 
“Is that your boss?” 
You shook your head, “nah it’s just one of the interns asking me for help with something,” you shrugged, setting your utensils down as you swiped into your email app, ready to clarify the problem for her, making Chan furrow his eyebrows in annoyance. 
Reaching over, he’d taken your phone from you, locking it and dropping it back into your bag, ignoring your look of confusion. 
“Hey, I was just gonna email her!” 
“They’re not supposed to be asking you to do things for them while you’re on leave. No working, this is your rest weekend.” 
You’d shut your mouth at that, deciding that it wouldn’t do you any well to go against him, wanting to pull your phone out to just read the emails but dropping your phone back when you saw the look he gave you daring you to continue. 
Your friend had seemed to be fairly amused by your exchange, shooting a look at Chan, “wow, now I’m really glad you’re here. You’re the only one so far that’s managed to stop her from checking on her work when she’s supposed to be resting.” 
You scoffed. Yeah, because the source of your work was sitting right next to you in a stupid suit. 
“Good to know,” he gave you a knowing smile, making you direct your attention back the waiters, seeing that they were serving desserts now. 
“Your friends make me sound like i’m a hard-ass,” he leaned closer to you to murmur, making you smile, nodding. 
“Well, they’re not entirely wrong,” you drawled, making Chan scoff, though not being able to help the laugh from leaving him. 
He nodded slowly, his expression looking fairly amused, “I’ll keep that in mind.” 
You wondered just for a moment if he was only being nice to you for the sake of his own conscience (though Seungmin would beg to differ). And by the late afternoon, you were already starting to feel drowsy from the afternoon weather, the skies darkening as though it were about to rain. Chan had figured it would be good to start heading back. 
After you’d bid goodbye to Eujin, who seemed more than eager for you to leave together with Chan, Chan had offered to drive a few of his friends back to the hotel together with you, and thankfully this time they hadn’t mentioned anything about his love life. 
“Tired?” Chan huffed with a smile, glancing at you momentarily before fixing his gaze back on the road. 
“Yeah,” you murmured, yawning. 
“You should get some sleep when you get back to the hotel.” 
You nodded, “you too.” 
Chan nodded patronisingly, earning a huff from you, too tired to bicker with him. something in him stirring at how he could’ve been acting like this with you a lot earlier if he wasn’t always masking his concern with rude phrasing. 
His mom sure was gonna be excited the next time he updates her. 
=== 
You hadn’t gotten as much of a rejuvenating sleep as you would’ve liked, reality having kicked in that you were back to work tomorrow, the feeling lingering unsettlingly in your chest as you tried to make the most of the rest of your night. Somehow, you’d found your way to the lounge in the hotel, though that didn’t help much in lessening your dread for tomorrow seeing as the only other people here were people working on their laptops.
You figured it was not so much of dreading work than dreading Chan’s change in personality once he went back to being your boss. 
Letting your head rest on the stiff cushion of the chair you were sitting on, you’d fiddled with your phone, texting Seungmin about what had happened today. 
You’d almost startled in your seat when you saw someone take a seat next to you, turning to see Chan, his tie long gone as his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his hair already falling out of place as he simply looked at you. 
Raising your eyebrows in a silent question as to ask why he was here, he scoffed, looking away from you but failing to hide the reddening of his ears, “shut up, I just didn’t feel like sitting with a stranger.” 
You huffed in amusement, “did you take a nap?” 
Chan shook his head, “nah, just finished a conference call.” 
Your eyes widened, “wait, why didn’t you tell me? I was doing nothing this whole time—“ 
Chan shook his head in dismissal, “you were tired. I told you, this is your rest time, I’m not allowed to touch it.” 
You frowned, your mind racing with thoughts on how tomorrow could possibly go, looking at the carpet with a hint of a pout on your face, “yeah, and then tomorrow, everything goes back to normal.” 
Chan inhaled deeply, leaning back in his seat as he turned his head to look at you, his hands clasped and resting on his lap. 
“It doesn’t have to, you know… like…” he shrugged, “if you don’t want it to.” 
Your lips parted, unsure how to respond to the implications of his words, unsure how to even process his words. 
“It’d be… unprofessional for me to continue to act like… this towards my boss.” 
Chan raised an eyebrow at you, shrugging, looking at you with an unreadable expression. 
“I think I’m way past being professional already when it comes to you.” 
You’d sworn the air had felt thicker, something about the way the night mood had felt, or how the music in the lounge had succeeded in relaxing you, but something inside of you was telling you to just do it, to lean forward and kiss him. And probably promptly resign the next day out of embarrassment. 
You stood up quickly, “oh, I think my cab’s here, I have to go,” you lied blatantly, Chan not making any move to stop you, simply lifting a hand to wave you off with a tired smile on his face. 
“Go, go. See you at work tomorrow.” 
===
“Can’t we ask Y/N to ask him?” The secretaries and interns were currently huddled in the pantry, having gathered to discuss how great it would be to have a field day soon.
“But Y/N’s equally as scary as him!” One of the interns spoke up, making the secretaries hum thoughtfully. 
You’d stepped into the pantry, walking through the secretaries to retrieve a juice packet for Chan. 
“Hey, what’s up?” You asked, one of the secretaries turning to you with a resolute look on her face. 
“Y/N, do you think you could um… like, you know, ask President Bang if we could arrange for a team outing soon? Like a field day or something, just as a break for the staff. We haven’t had one in so long!” 
You tilted your head at them in amusement, “why don’t you guys just ask him? He’s in his office now, I can go tell him you guys wan—“ 
“No, no! It’s different, you’re the only one that can convince him. We tried last month but he’d just told us he’d think about it.” 
You shrugged, nodding, “alright, sure. I’ll go and ask him.” 
Making your way back to his office, you’d tried to ignore your nerves as you knocked on the door, opening it to reveal Chan who was on the phone, holding up a finger to you to signal you to wait. 
Walking over to him, you’d placed the juice packet on his desk in front of him, earning a smile and a grateful nod from him, before he’d switched back to a serious expression. 
“No, yes, of course. We would want nothing more than to ensure a… mutually beneficial agreement between our companies.” 
You didn’t have to ask to know who he was talking to. Chan had been trying to negotiate a deal with one of the shareholders, since they had been trying to propose to get Chan to merge with another prominent electronics company in the industry. 
You knew Chan was more than annoyed, but he had no choice but to be civil with the president of the company since they did have many shares in the company from the time his uncle was in charge. 
“Yes, we can discuss this more in person over lunch, how does that sound? Yep. Alright, bye.” Chan sighed, setting the phone down and leaning his palms on the table, supporting himself with a pained look on his face, looking up at you with a pout. 
“I really don’t like him.” 
Chan sighed, “same here.” 
“Anyway, I’m glad you came here, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.” 
“What?” You asked, watching as he’d fiddled with the papers on his desk. 
“Uh… I won’t ask you to handle things outside of work for me anymore.” 
Your eyes widened, “is this because of what my friends said? Because I’m honestly fine it doesn’t matter,” you shook your head, seeing him scrunch his nose. 
“It may not matter to you but I’m personally not fine with it,” he pressed his lips together. “Really, I mean it. Whatever I ask you to help me with from here on is only gonna be work-related.” 
You nodded. Was he trying to distance himself from me? Was it because of the trip? 
Your lips pulled into a frown, nodding more to yourself than to him, “okay…uh anyway I wanted to ask you um… the secretaries were wondering if we could have like a field day or something soon? Like just as a small break for the staff?” 
Chan shot you a look, knowing they’d asked you to ask him. 
“Do you want that?” He asked, earning a nod from you. 
“Yeah, I guess. It’d be fun to just have a day for staff bonding and all…” 
Chan shrugged, “alright, tell them to go ahead and arrange it.” 
Your eyes widened, finding the exchange to have went a lot more smoother than expected. 
“Will you be needing me for anything else?” 
He looked at you as if in thought, taking his lower lip between his teeth and letting it go, shaking his head, “other than to help me book an appointment with President Kim, nothing else.” 
You nodded slowly, exiting the room. 
By only asking you for work-related things, you’d expected your work-load to decrease, but it seemed as though you were currently having the most uneventful day you’d ever had. Other than drafting proposals for the President of the electronics company, there wasn’t much on your plate. 
You’d figured you would’ve been a lot busier tending to Chan’s requests but the boy had barely come out of his office, the only times he did being to head to the washroom, barely casting a glance in your direction when he walked past you. 
As if that wasn’t strange enough, he’d even let you have a longer lunch break, much to Seungmin’s amusement. 
“Doesn’t being in the legal team sound a lot more enticing now? At least you’d be doing something there.” 
You rolled your eyes, “I still have quite a bit of research to do, so no thank you.” 
“Admit it, you’re only staying because you can’t bear to leave Chan.” 
You’d almost choked on your drink, patting your chest to regain your composure, “where the hell did you get that idea from?” 
Seungmin scoffed, “you act like you didn’t call me a thousand times during the trip to tell me about things he did.” 
You’d fallen silent at that, averting your gaze. 
“Whatever,” you scoffed. 
“Isn’t it misconduct, though? If I were to date him.” 
Seungmin shook his head with an amused snort leaving him, “what are we in, the stone ages? Go wild, literally nobody cares. They’ll probably be happy if you manage to get him to be less of a hard-ass,” Seungmin told you, glancing into his cup to see how much drink he had left, “god knows when was the last time he got laid.” 
You flushed, shoving Seungmin, “how can you say that?” 
“What? It’s true!” 
You gave him a dismayed glare, standing up with a sigh as you straightened out your skirt, glancing at the time on your phone. 
“I should probably be heading back now, I’ve got work to do,” you gave Seungmin a pointed look, pulling him up from the bench. 
“I don’t wanna go back to work,” Seungmin let out a loud strangled sound of protest, his shoes stomping on the wooden panelled floor of the rooftop. 
You giggled, a teasing smile on your face, “weren’t you the one saying the legal team was what again? Enticing?” 
Seungmin pouted, pressing the elevator button, abruptly flailing his limbs in a mini outburst before straightening up and composing himself. 
“Fine, I’m fine. Enjoy your stupid office romance with Chan.” 
You rolled your eyes. 
Chan had a consultation with the legal team later that afternoon regarding the issue with the shareholder, and you’d been all-too-distracted during the meeting as you thought about what your possible ‘action-plan’ regarding your situation with Chan was. 
Taking down notes during the meeting, you’d let your train of thought wander, almost doodling onto your notebook, with one hand supporting your head on the table before you heard the legal advisor from the shareholder’s side speak up, a guttural groan leaving him. 
Looking up with an annoyed furrow of your eyebrows, you heard him lean back in his chair, “what does a man need to do to get a drink around here?” 
“You,” the man pointed a finger at you, “go and make yourself useful, sweetheart. Get me a cup of coffee.” 
Chan’s eyebrows knit into a frown, looking at the legal consultant with clear disdain on his face, looking at you to gauge your reaction. Already expecting you to do what you always did, get up with a smile and come back with the man’s coffee, Chan figured he was too annoyed by it to let you do just that. 
About to speak up to the man, you'd shocked Chan when you narrowed your eyes at him, giving him a sweet smile, "sorry, that's not my job here. Since you're not contributing much to the discussion, why don't you make your legs useful and head right over there and get yourself some water." 
You huffed, staring him down as he glared at you, directing his gaze to Chan. "Are you just gonna let her talk to me like that? I'd fire such a rude brat if I were you. Who's your supervisor, I'm gonna make sure he hears of this." 
Chan did his best to conceal his smile, simply turning his chair ever so slightly to give you a small smile, "that would be me, and I heard it loud and clear. Now, shall we continue with the meeting?" 
=== 
You’d been spending hours at your desk, distractedly doing research as you’d kept trying to peep into Chan’s office to figure out what he was doing, to no avail. (Chan had put the blinds down halfway through the day since he couldn’t stop staring outside at your desk either). 
You were technically done with your work, and Chan did mention that you were free to go home once you were done. On any other occasion this would have been considered a miracle, and you wouldn’t have hesitated to go home. But now, there was a nagging feeling in your heart that you couldn’t just leave him here, especially with how stressed out he was because of the business with the shareholder. You didn’t trust him not to spend the whole night here. 
Glancing at the time, you saw that it was already past 10, deciding that you would give him some time to make an appearance before you left, just to make sure he was alive and breathing inside his office. 
Distracting yourself with replying emails, even playing more than a few rounds of a word-search game on your phone, you figured he would’ve come out by now, but there was still not a sound coming from inside the room. 
Once the clock had almost struck 11, you figured you’d might as well go in and check on him for yourself. Going over to the pantry to make a hot drink, you’d walked back to his office, your grip tight on the saucer in your anxiousness. 
Inhaling deeply and breathing out with a resolute nod, you knocked on the door of his office, waiting a while only to be met with silence. 
Pushing open the door slightly, you’d tried again. 
“Mr Bang, is it okay if I come in?”
Upon receiving no response yet again, you’d pushed open the door fully, your eyes widening in realisation when you saw him seated at his desk, fast asleep on the chair. 
Walking over to the leather sofa as quietly as you could, you’d picked up the blanket from the sofa, making your way over to where he was, setting the hot drink onto his desk and making to drape the blanket over him. 
Only when you were adjusting the blanket did he stir awake, making your fight-or-flight instincts kick in, strangely embarrassed if he were to catch you doing such a gesture for him. 
Blinking slowly, his eyebrows furrowed before his gaze had landed on you. 
“I thought you’d gone home already?” He pouted, making you fumble to find an excuse why you’d stayed behind. 
“Sorry, Mr Bang, I was—”
He gave you a lazy smile, shaking his head, “none of that ‘Mr Bang’, nonsense. How come you haven’t left yet?” 
You pressed your lips together firmly, pulling your hands away from the blanket as you tried to straighten up, sighing softly. 
“I couldn’t leave… for some reason. I kind of wanted to make sure you were okay, since I barely saw you the whole day.” 
Chan’s satisfied smile had grew, nodding at you as if prompting you to continue. 
“but I’ll go soon. I guess,” you blurted, “unless like you know, you need me for something, then I’m fine with staying.” You stopped yourself, nodding before you could embarrass yourself any further. 
You couldn’t help but let your breath hitch when he’d reached out to grab your hand. 
“Thank you, for checking up on me,” he murmured, his close proximity making your gaze dart to his lips, averting your gaze quickly. 
“Did you not come out of your office on purpose?” You narrowed your eyes at him, hating the way your heart was doing flips at the way he grinned, his dimples showing cutely. 
You were about to pull back out of your own internal panic, but Chan’s grip on your hand was firm. 
“I’m sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t ask you for anything that wasn’t work related from now on. But It’s killing me, because you were sitting outside the whole day and I couldn’t do anything about it…” he paused, tilting his head as he searched your expression. 
“You can refuse, but I just need you to do one little thing for me,” he murmured,  pulling you forward so you’d ended up seated on his lap, your arms going out to grasp his shoulders to steady yourself. 
“What do you need me to do?” You asked, your voice a mere murmur with how the tension was absolutely suffocating you, wanting nothing more than to just close the gap between the both of you. 
Chan’s hand went up to your chin, running his thumb over your lower lip as they unconsciously parted, “close your eyes.” 
Chan couldn’t help but smirk at the way you’d done so obediently, his hand going to where your neck met your jaw, leaning closer to press his lips against yours. 
Almost as if it was second nature, he’d let his other hand grasp your hip, his thumb rubbing the area soothingly. Tilting his head to kiss you deeper, you’d practically sighed into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck loosely as you felt him smile into the kiss. 
“I’m glad it’s you,” he murmured against your lips, his tongue swiping against your lower lip making you let out a surprised hum, not being able to help your smile as well. 
“We should stop,” you pulled away, breathless. 
“Why?” 
You shook your head, “I could kiss you for hours. It’s already so close to midnight.” 
Chan glanced at the clock apathetically, looking at you and shrugging, his hand running up and down your side. 
“So be it, then,” he said, pulling you back to meet his lips. 
===
“Is it just me, or has President Bang been a lot less moody these days,” Seungmin heard one of his colleagues in the legal team asking her desk-mate, making her colleague nod gravely. 
The mention of President Bang had him glancing towards his office, spotting your desk empty and figuring you were inside his office. 
“Definitely. At first I thought it was just me, but he’s been a lot less harsh to Y/N as well,” she agreed. 
“Don’t you think so, Seungmin?” 
And almost as if on cue, you’d exited his office, pulling your hair out of your ponytail to readjust it, looking around as if scanning the area to see if anyone had seen you. 
Locking eyes with Seungmin, you shot him a wink, straightening out your blouse as you’d gone back to sit down at your desk. 
Seungmin scoffed, not being able to help the smile on his face as he rolled his eyes, “yeah, I think I know why.” 
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skullvins · 3 years
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Can you give me some Omega(or aviator) headcannons its not that I don't have any ideas I just don't have any ideas (the fish surfs alone without tumbler ) Also sorry if Im bothering you
nah dw! I can go over a few
omega:
bisexual, she/they enby. just turned 20 at debut, is about 21 going on 22 at this point in the manga.
vintage's older half sister by about a year. she got into turf first, which got him into it when he was old enough to play
on good terms with her biological father, who she goes to see sometimes (and did so as she was growing up). she sometimes feels a little disconnected from the rest of her family (mother/stepfather/vintage) because of it, but it's not a big deal
knows vintage better than he knows her (because she's MUCH quieter than him)
a lil on the chubby side, but only a little bit. like vin, she's particularly pale
her eyes are naturally light blue, she wears red contacts to match vin and the team's aesthetic. because of how my other hcs go, her natural ink colour is also light blue (unlike vin's, which is red)
wore her hair in a makeshift bun for a bit while she was growing it out between games
her music taste is pretty wide, but she does have her favourites. big into alternative stuff (that's basically canon tho)
goes salmon running with the intention to hear their music live (amongst other things) (stole this one from a fic by @lightredfox)
doesn't eat a lot/kind of a light eater (also stolen from @lightredfox, I love this hc a lot. I think it shines a light on the differences between her and vintage)
good cook, but she doesn't like doing it much because she grew up cooking a lot and is kinda tired of it. was the resident cook on the skull/vin/omega/avi team
aviators:
pansexual, greyromantic/arospec, demiguy, he/him (maybe sometimes they/them too???). about 3 months older than skull, making him 17 at debut and 20 at the current point in the manga
his eye colour, and by extension, his natural ink colour, is a honey gold colour, complete with a natural glittery shine. he got picked on a little because of it at school, and the insecurity has kinda stuck with him. that being said, the shininess also means his eyes often catch light and kinda reflect it back towards him and block his vision with little specs of white, hence the sunglasses
skull really likes his eyes though, thinks they're pretty. avi has a soft spot for skull's goofy smile (which HE'S self conscious about)
idk how to quite describe his skin tone, lighter than rider/npacer but not by a lot, kinda mid tone. skinny, but generally a little toned (more evenly than skull is because someone is a nightmare and lives off sweets). he's also just, kinda good looking, like, objectively. has a nice face EHDKDNDK
was skull's next door neighbor growing up, the two went to school together and met up all the time. also means he's been skull's little support system for a lot of his life (lord knows skull has Issues™)
actually these two in general would kill for each other they're very very close
has a part time job at a local makomart. he's worked there for a while now I could see him getting promoted a bit
good friends with diver, nozzlenose gang rise up
other misc hcs:
Anyone who's been following me for five minutes knows I'm a fan of aviskull and doublemega
funnily enough, I hc these two had a bit of a crush on each other for a bit when they were on the same team, but it never went anywhere
If I think of any more, I'll rb and add them. also, if you're the guy who sent the last hc ask, dw, I did see it. I just haven't thought about it a lot, and also have a fic lined up to explore this dynamic that I don't wanna spoiler. but lemme tell you it's dumb/dumber/brain cell haver that can't stop both of them
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loganhowlctt · 3 years
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i just hit 3k followers and i just want to say thank you all so much for following my silly little blog!!! im so happy i joined this community and made some amazing friends because of it 💖🥰 i cant thank ya'll enough, you all really helped my get through the past year <333 i've also noticed it's just good for me to have this creative outlet by gifmaking and it's so nice to see all the appreciation i get in return for it!!
I'm thinking about maybe doing a follower milestone event, if anyone is interested? please let me know!!
also, if anyone is interested, here's a little life update :)
luckily all my other colleagues were absolutely great people and fun to be with, and the work itself was alright too, eventhough i had different expectations from it. another fun thing about it is that i still get to go on a worktrip to SPAIN this weekend!! fortunately its just me and another colleague i like lol
I've basically just finished up my internship! honestly, i was kinda disappointed by it bc my boss (who was also my internship supervisor) turned out to be a dick and didn't have any of his shit together. no structure, very unclear tasks, EXTREMELY cheap, no overview of anything, doesn't deliver on promises, etc. he just doesn't know how to treat his employees and doesn't know how to run a company. if you can even call it a company, with him, two interns, a partimer, a freelancer and a permanent employee he hired way too late (A MONTH after his predecessor found another job and left. how can you put off finding a replacement for a month????). who also quit after 2 months, along with my fellow intern bc they found out just how bad it was lmao
i've kept my teacher up to date about all of this and fortunately she is aware of the circumstances and i'll still pass my internship, eventhough my boss gave me invalid negative feedback. so im glad at least schoolwise it all worked out, i just wish the work environment would've been better :/
so yeah im currently writing this from a hotel room (first hotel ive ever stayed at!! the bed is HUGE). i have an extremely early flight tomorrow, and get back very late sunday night. and then i have to be back at school at 10am the next day lmao rip me. but its worth it for a free trip to spain :)
i also moved out of the place i rented for my internship today, so this weekend has already been very stressfull lol. the place was alright to stay at for a few months, but very tiny and smelled like sewage every now and then so i'm happy to get out of there haha.
so yeah, busy weekend, lots of change again. i start my new semester on monday, i'm very excited to finally physically go to school again and see all my friends again! i'm also very excited to see what the minor i chose will be. basically i'm ready to start a new chapter and leave this one far behind (aside from my colleagues, I'd like to keep in contact with them!)
OH YEAH WAIT my tumblr account got suspended for a little while today too lol, because i was hoarding too many urls 😅 i had to delete them all to get it unsuspended, luckily i could save some of my favourites to my backup account. this really added on extra stress i really didn't need today, luckily i got it all sorted out lmao (i didn't realise i was hoarding about 40 urls 😬😬😬 so i guess it was bound to happen eventually 😅)
i have to wake up in like 6 hours so i'm going to sleep lol, i hope you found this little life update interesting haha <3
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kkgbutsane · 3 years
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The First Day of School
It was a dewy morning. Not too hot, not too cold, far too humid. It was the usual for Hyakkou High School, where students came to learn and excel in their studies while maintaining good social relationships. The school was usually filled with many different students. Any stereotype you could think of, Hyakkou had it. 
The students usually had fun. The Principal was quite lax when it came to certain things. All he asked of the students was to respect each other and respect the building. And to keep their grades up of course. They would be failing as a school if the students weren’t receiving the proper education!
And this is where their story begins.
“Ack. Hey! Mary!” Ryota called out from behind the blonde, who was currently looking down on her phone. The boy ran up to his best friend, hooking his arm around the back of her neck to bring her into a headlock. “Hey! Don’t mess up my hair you dork!” Mary growled, trying to wrestle her way out of Ryota’s lock.
The two continued their conundrum until they reached the gates of the school, where Mary finally got a good grip and threw her friend over her shoulder, thus leading to him falling on his backpack. “Ow…,” he muttered, smiling like an idiot.
Mary Saotome and Ryota Suzui had been friends since childhood. They were even neighbors, and she often came over to his house to play on his Wii with him. Their friendship had blossomed into a relationship.
Until they realized they were better off as best friends. In fact, after they had broken up and continued to be platonic, it seemed as though their friendship grew stronger.
“Hi guys!” The two heard a familiar voice, registering it as their other best friend, Yumeko Jabami. Yumeko had met them all in middle school, when she had moved here with her sister. The ravenette was one to take risks, and found pleasure in dangerous things. Of course, only in moderation. In reality, the only things she had taken much risk for was a move in a fighting game. Or a board game.
Her bubbly exterior was often in place of her mellow interior. She tended to keep to herself truly, unless with her friends.
“Yumeko!” Ryota yelled happily, jogging over and scooping the girl in a tight hug. Much to his delight, Yumeko returned the hug tenfold.
“ShiT, I can’t breaTHE-,” he barely managed, his face turning purple. He should have known, the girl was a strong hugger. “Oi, calm down you two, before I separate you guys for 10 minutes straight, and I know that will be a pain since you usually do homework together in the mornings,” Mary stated, crossing her arms. Yumeko finally relented, giving Ryota’s respiratory system some reprieve. Yumeko looked quite meek, but she could give hugs like no other.
“Mary!” Yumeko giggled, giving the blonde another one of her bone crushing hugs. “Sup, dumbass,” Mary replied, smiling softly at her friend’s gestures of affection. “Are you all ready for your first days of school!?” 
It was the start of junior year for the three, and boy were their classes packed. Ryota was taking a few classes on science and health, as well as a gym class to exercise and get fit. He wanted to be a firefighter, and such education was necessary to ensure he was a good candidate for the job.
“I have… Anatomy first period. Woohoo,” Mary sighed. She was actually quite excited, but decided not to show it in order to keep her cool exterior. The path she had chosen was Emergency Medical Services, and taking anatomy was the first step in her opinion.
“Oh? That’s so wonderful! I have Calculus for my first period. I wonder if Sayaka is going to be in that class!�� Yumeko said eagerly. Sayaka was one of the other kids attending this school. The girl mainly kept to herself, but she had recently started acquainting herself with the ravenette.
“Gah! Sorry I’m late guys! I kinda missed my bus…” A ginger voice panted, revealed to be none other than Itsuki Sumeragi. The strawberry blonde had met the three last year when she was a sophomore. After transferring from a private school to Hyakkou, the tight-knit group had taken her in, welcoming her as one of their own. “Hey! I heard there’s gonna be a pair of new students! I hear they’re seniors,” Itsuki gossiped, taking out her Nintendo Switch and turning it on.
“Ooh, Smash? Let’s do this!” Ryota declared, taking his controller and setting it to his button map.
“So what about these new students? Do they seem weird or anything?” Mary inquired, picking her character, King K. Rool, and setting her button map. “Oh come on, why do you ALWAYS play heavies!?” Ryota complained, picking Marth as his character. “Because heavies are fucking goated, why else?” the blonde snarked back, a sly smirk on her face.
“I don’t know. But I heard they’re twins!” Itsuki giggled, sitting down to watch them play.
“Heya guys,” a shrill voice came out of nowhere. “You playin’ Smash? I’ll join!” it giggled. Runa had seemingly appeared out of nowhere in her oversized jacket. “Oh no…,” The entire group groaned.
“Runa, you’re cool and all, but whenever we play with you, you find a way to resize our assholes every match in different ways. I really don’t want to get 0-to-deathed consecutively while you stay on three stocks. Seriously, how the fuck do you even do it!?” Mary spoke, seemingly for the entire group. “I dunno, just practice TBH,” was all Runa said, picking up a controller. “And fuck you, I’m playing anyway.” 
The sound of groans could be heard around the courtyard after that statement.
Sayaka Igarashi, resident Valedictorian-to-be, had come over to the table with Midari Ikishima, who was dragging along a seemingly sleepy senior. “C’mon Yuriko. I know you have senioritis but our friends are here!” Midari grumbled, literally dragging Yuriko. Yuriko Nishinotounin had gotten a severe case of Senioritis, especially since most of her classes were a breeze this year. 
“Would you both calm down please!? They’re playing a game, and I’m trying to read!” Sayaka chided, mentally swearing at the rebel. “Chill out, Sayaka, Yuriko is already falling asleep on me and it’s not even 7:30!” Midari grumbled.
“I can’t wait for senior year to be over,” Yuriko yawned, sitting on the table everyone was at basically falling asleep.
“What the fu- NO!” Mary yelled, distracted by Yuriko long enough for Runa to get a move on her, resulting in her virtual demise. “Fuuuuck!” she sighed, hitting her head against the wooden table. “FUCK!” she repeated, after feeling the pain that came along with it. Ryota had already fallen out of the competition.
Please nerf Lucas.
Yumeko hummed happily to herself, reading some random tabloid article on her phone. As the bell rang, they all dispersed into their classes.
“See you guys later!” Ryota called, jogging over to the weight room for his first period.
The three girls had made their way over to the Portables, then separating into their classrooms. 
Sayaka practically dragged her two friends to their classes and then her own, all while keeping to the schedule. Anatomy was her first period, and she sat next to Mary. 
It wouldn’t be too bad of a year. Mary was a good student and wasn’t too hard to talk to. She just mostly liked to keep to herself.
“Good morning class! Welcome to Anatomy! You guys are obviously gonna be learning about the body, it’s functions, what is where and what goes where and woop dee dah, all the good stuff! Hopefully I can make learning about how food passes through the body actually entertaining for y’all, but first we have two new students with us today! They’ve recently transferred over, so let’s give ‘em a warm welcome to Hyakkou!” The teacher, Mrs. Murray, announced. She looked a bit older, with a tall figure and ginger hair in her face. Her glasses looked odd, but it added to her look.
People like Mrs. Murray because she was actually a good teacher. She cared about her students and actually helped them if they needed it.
“Ladies, if you would please introduce yourselves!” 
The entire class looked at the two, and for a moment they thought they saw double.
“Hello. My name is Kirari Momobami. I’m a senior here, and it’s a pleasure to meet you all. I hope we can get along,” The girl, now known as Kirari, had stated.
It seemed her sister’s turn was up next.
“Er.. I’m Ririka Momobami. We’re twins. I hope we can… have a good time!” Ririka muttered, almost too quietly for the class to hear.
Mrs. Murray smiled and beckoned them to take their seats.
Their seats were in front of both Sayaka and Mary, who seemed to be in a state of both ‘gay’ and ‘panic’.
The two twins looked vastly different, with Kirari’s hair done in twin loop braids and dressed in a rather classy manner, while Ririka’s hair was free to fall.
Wait.
Did Ririka have a sweatshirt that had the Poggers Man on it?
Mary internally laughed at that. It was adorable.
When class had dispersed to work in groups, Mary and Sayaka had picked each other on instinct, then looking for two more partners to start their work on.
“Sayaka!” Mary whisper-yelled, a small blush on her face. She then gestured to her phone to text the girl.
Mary S: HOLY SHIT IM GAY
Sayaka I: I am too. Which one are you gay for?
Mary S: Ririka.
Sayaka I: Oh. I like her too.
Mary glared at Sayaka for a moment.
Mary S: The one with the adorable hair and clothing?
The blonde mentally facepalmed, of course Sayaka would think that. No matter the twin.
Sayaka I: Yes. I love how her hair is done. Plus her shirt looks nice.
Mary S: Oh. So the one with the weird braids?
Sayaka I: Don’t call them weird.
Mary S: ok but dont worry cause im crushing on the other twin. I swear her sweatshirt is adorable.
Sayaka I: .
Sayaka I: poggers
Mary S: LMAO HOLD UP IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS ONE
Sayaka I: Be my guest.
The two had reluctantly come up to the twins.
“Hello! I am Sayaka Igarashi, and this is Mary Saotome. It seems you both don’t have another pair, so if you’d like, we can work with you,” Sayaka stated, trying to sound as polite as possible. Nothing could hide the blush on her face though.
“Sure, I would love to work with you both,” Kirari replied, a small smirk forming on her face.
Ririka just nodded with a small smile.
It was going to be a long year.
39 notes · View notes
argumentl · 3 years
Text
The Freedom of Expression - Ep 50 Propheciser with psychic powers, Baba Vanga's predictions.
K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression.  Joe san, Tasai san, welcome....Uh, its nothing special, but..
J: Nothing special?
K:...We havn't really spoken about this mask...(*gestures to his mask*)
J: Oh, of course.
K: We made it as part of our merchandise.
J: Oh, by the way..hang on a sec (*Turns around to show his jacket*)
T: Ohh, the Dir en grey one from before, right?
K: Tasai wore that once before too.
T: Yeah, on the live broadcast.
K: So today..
J: ...I'm wearing it.
K: Thank you.
J: This is really warm...
K: Really?
J: Um, the normal types of these, what are they called? Coach jackets? This material is a bit different from them.
K: Really?
J: It has a nice crispiness to it.
T: Yeah, I wear it quite a lot. This mask, what does it say on it?
K: I don't know, what is written on it? haha.
J: Is it on sale now?
K: I think so, yeh.
J: Everyone, please have a look!
T: Can I also just show my T shirt?....Its a Tokyo Sports one.
K: Ahh! Seriously?? That looks great!
J: That is cool!
T: Its from the store Hardcore Chocolate in Higashinakano.
K, J: Ohh!
K: Like that other one I sometimes wear? With Fujikawa Kyuji?
T: Yes, yes, yes. We've done a collaboration with them.
K: How good is that?!
J: Ehhh?
T: Its been on sale since Jan 11th. I brought you one each.
K, J: Eh?!
K: Thank you!
T: Thats what I wanted to say today.
J: Thats it? Isn't that great?
K: Ok, well..
J: Shall we start?
K: Yes.
J: This is the news that I chose. So, 2021 has already begun, but what type of year will it turn into? 'Blind propheciser with psychic powers...Baba Vanga'...
K: Its a bit difficult to say, isn't it? Bava Vanga.
J: Yes, Baba Vanga, she has made some predictions. She predicted the simultaneous terror attacks on America, and that the UK would leave the EU. The blind propheciser from Bulgaria, Baba Vanga. She actually died in 1996 aged 85, but she had already made predictions about what would happen in 2021, and she has been correct with 85% of her predictions so far. First, a cure for cancer will be found! Humanity will probably be able to eradicate cancer at the start of the 21st century. Next, President Donald Trump will be struck down with a serious ailment. The 45th president will catch a disease of unknown origin, go deaf, and suffer brain injury. Next, Europe. The European economy will collapse, a domestic asassination attempt will be made on President Vladimir Putin, Islamic extremists  will attack Europe with chemical weapons. Next, worldwide. The world will undergo climate change and suffer great damage. Peoples' awareness will change, an era of distress will dawn, people will be divided. We will witness shocking events which will change the fate of humanity. Thats not all, it goes on....Oil production will stop, trains will fly using solar energy. If oil production stops, the world can rest. In 2021, a strong dragon will seize the earth. Further, three giants will unite, some people will get red money. She also saw the numbers 100 and 5 with lots of zeros. As for the meaning of the dragon, if it were a nation, it is easy to see it as China, the three giants would be Russia, India, and China, and as for the 100 and 5, this could refer to 100yuans and 5000 rubles, as both use red notes. And finally, the last prediction is alien life in space will be discovered, the origin of life on eath will be revealed, and people will be able to make contact will their supernatural siblings from another world. Those are Baba Vanga's predictions. What do you think?
T: She died in '96, and she was already able to predict what would happen in 2021?
J: 25 years later, yes, she predicted what would happen in this year 2021. Well, I mean, she didn't say the name Donald Trump, she just said the 45th president would suffer. But the scary ones are peoples' awareness changing, and shocking events that will change the face of humanity. Thats been going on constantly since last year.
K: By the way, what were her predictions for the year 2020?
J: I wonder what they were.
K: I mean, I like this kind of thing, but don't psychics always put out tonnes of predictions.
J: They do.
K: So something is likely to fit.
J: Yeah, in the widest sense, something like this might happen.
T: Yeah.
K: Something out of these is bound to happen, so we can sit here and say, 'Oh yes, this is right', but if you really tried you could make any of them fit. Psychics do this a lot.
J: Well, yeah, I mean, she was quite specific with the 45th president getting an unknown ailment.
T: And with the assassination attempt on Putin, that was very specific.
J: Yeh, that was. Well..???*1 I'm interested in these bits. But look, it also says alien life will be discovered. This is good for Tokyo Sports.
T: Yeah, for Tokyo Sports, this is great.
J: Humanity connecting with separate worlds..
T: Supernatural siblings.
J: What does Tokyo Sports think of all this? Will it come true?
T: We might be in trouble if it does.
K: Right?! The dragon..
T: Hahaha
K: That would be bad.
J: Certainly though, when you look at something like this, you do end up trying to make it fit.
K: Yeah, when there is a lot.
Kami: Uh...
J: Ah, Kami! Surely you are an expert on this kind of thing, Kami?
Kami: Uh, the name Baba Vanga is incredible, right?
J, T: Yeah.
Kami: As a god of the Sai baba generation, Im attracted to this name.
J: Ahh, Sai baba. Do you know a lot about him?
Kami: No, nothing. Only his name.
J: Haha.
K: Only his name?
Kamu: No, the names of psychics have impact.
J: Ah, of course.
T: Its true, psychics have these kind of plosive sounds in their names.
J: What does 'Baba' actually mean? Like in Sai Baba, or Baba Vanga?
T: Ah, maybe something like 'god'.
Kami: No, its more like babababa~mba~m!
T, J: Haha
J: Kami, what do you think of these predictions?
Kami: Oh, it happens a lot, some peole getting red money. But, it doesn't matter what colour, red, yellow...I want it.
K: You want it, right?
Kami: 100 and 5 with lots of zeros, I want as many zeros as possible added
T: Hmm, yeah.
Kami: I want them to give it out like bababa~m! Babababa!
K: He just wanted to say that, haha
J: Kami, are you drinking?
K, T: Haha
Kami: No, I'm not drinking.
J: You're not?
Kami: No. Joe, you're just paranoid.
J: Haha.
K: But actually, there was some news about the cure for cancer wasn't there?
T: Was there?
K: Yeah, recently.
T: Ehh? Well, maybe these predictions are on point. 85% of her predictions turn out correct...
J: Hm, yeah, if the nice ones are correct, that would be nice. Curing cancer and stuff. I don't want that one about climate change and great suffering to be correct.
K: Well, these things are definitely happening at least somewhere in the world.
T: Right, yeh. Oh, (*reading card*) in the year 4509, conversing with gods will become possible. She predicted that too apparently.
Kami: That has already come true, right? We're talking now.
J: Well, of course, we are doing that.
T: 2000 years early.
K: Yeh..2...2016 years early?
Kami: Sorry its with such a lousy god though.
J: Thats right.
K: Yeah, we are conversing, right?
J: We are so early!
T: Hahaha
Kami: This is one of the 85% correct predictions.
K: Its not, its wrong, we are conversing with gods 2016 years before she predicted it.
J: Yeah, Baba Vanga said it would be in the year 4059. Unless this god talking to us is a fake god?
K: Oh, theres that theory too?
Kami: Can you say that? A fake god?
J: Eh?
Kami? Can you say a god is fake?
J: I mean, if its a half-baked god..
Kami: Im obviously a god..
J: I can't see you though..
Kami: Well, yeah, you can't, haha.
T: Haha, its obvious?
K: We have no idea?
J: We can't see you.
T: But we do have the knowledge that Kami has quite a babyface.
Kami: Ahh, pachinko, yeh.
J: I think Kami should make some predictions about what will happen in 2021, to prove to us that he's a real god.
T: Yes, thats it.
K: Yeah.
J: Right? Kami's predictions!
T: One or two..or three.
Kami: I can't, I havn't thought about it!
J: Haha, no no, if you can descend...
T: Its Kami's predictions.
Kami: Most likely...I'll change jobs.
T: You will...?
K: ...Change jobs?
T: Eh?!
Kami: Yes.
K: Your night shift?
J: His part-time job will change?
T: haha
Kami: Yes, thats it.
J: You can't call that a prediction, haha. Whether or not you will change jobs has nothing to do with humanity!
Kami: Its a prediction.
K: Its not!
Kami: The big gods can say things like an earthquake will come and stuff, but Im a small god.
J: Ah, I see.
K: Even then, he could still do it, its only a statement.
J: If anything it sounds just like a regular action plan.
Kami: Hehehe
J, T, K: Hahahaha
K: You're laughing, Kami? This god is getting more interesting.
Kami: Yes.
T: Kami, can you tell us what will happen to Joe this year?
J: Ah, yes, tell me my fortune. He could tell us all our fortunes.
Kami: Oh Joe? Joe will get drunk and mess up.
J:Hm?
Kami: You'll get drunk and mess up.
J: Well, yeah, haha
T: Thats a fact.
J: Thats just an extension of whats happened up to now.
T: How about something like, 'Joe will get married suddenly' or something?
J: Ah, yes yes yes.
Kami: Ahh, no, you won't.
K: I agree with that *2
J: No?
K: He's not lying, haha.
J: Its because there's no sign of it coming from me currently.
T: But thats the thing! It would be really sudden if you got married in June or something.
J: He said no.
T: Like, the one for you might appear!
J: Yeah, how about that?
Kami: I can see woman trouble for you.
T: Woman trouble?
J: Ahh, it won't work. What about Tasai?
T: Yeah, how about me, Kami?
Kami: ...I can see woman trouble.
J, T: Haha
K: He's just going with the flow.
T: Im getting dragged in by Joe.
J: He has no idea what to say again. Ok, how about Kaoru?
Kami: I can see woman trouble
J: Haha.
T: Is this ???*3
J: Yeah
K: ???*4
Y: Yeah
K: Ok, I think we'll finish this week on that note.  Please subscribe. Thank you very much.
* 2 Not sure im right.
* 1, 3, 4 Couldn't make out.
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17 notes · View notes
kimvvantae · 5 years
Text
puzzle; 6 (m)
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➜  you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?
pairing: jungkook x (f) reader
genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au
warnings: lots of swearing, unprotected sex (use condoms y’all kids)
rating: 18+
word count: 13k wooohoooooo
A/N: i listened to the same 4 songs over and over again while writing and i think it kind of sets the mood for this chapter so hm if you guys like listening to music while reading here goes a small playlist:
Jungkook - If you (read the lyrics pls)
Whitesnake - Is This Love
BTS - Jamais Vu
Sam Smith - Lay Me Down
enjoy!
➜  Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!
« playlist »
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“You’re acting weird.”
You finally look up when you hear this, just to see Hoseok frowning at you.
“I’m not.” You’re quick to say, shrugging.
“You’re really acting weird. Is everything okay?” Hoseok insists, crossing his arms.
Hoseok is not what bothers you the most, though, but another pair of eyes watching you like a hawk.
Jimin knows why you’re acting weird. Since that day at Joy’s house, he has been staring at you like this constantly - half judging, half worried. 
It’s very annoying, to be honest.
“I’m just… a little bit stressed.” You admit, shrugging again. Fortunately, Hoseok isn’t as observant as Jimin, so he seems convinced.
“So, what did you guys want?” You ask, changing the topic. They came after you in the cafeteria while you have lunch after all.
“Ah! I almost forgot,” Hoseok starts. “You quit your job at the coffee shop, right?”
“Yes. It was way too stressful and my boss was a bitch.” You huff. 
“So you’ll be free this weekend?” He asks. You nod, but if he’s about to invite you to a party or something, you’re ready to say no. “The thing is, you know that me and Jimin have this job as waiters, right? There’s a wedding this weekend and they’re needing staff. So, if you’re interested, you can come with us on Saturday night. The payment is decent and it’s just easy stuff to do.”
Your mood lightens up at this. “Yeah, sure! I’ll go. I really need money right now.”
Hoseok smiles and claps his hands together. “Alright! I’ll send you all the information later. They’ll give you a uniform, so don’t worry about clothes. I have to go now. Bye!”
He leaves.
Jimin stays.
You just keep eating quietly, Jimin’s heavy gaze on you, until you finally get annoyed.
“Jimin, what do you want?” You cross your arms and glare back.
Jimin slowly quirks one eyebrow. “Won’t you ask me if Jungkook’s going?”
“Why would I ask if he’s going or not?”
“Because you guys aren’t talking anymore.”
“Thank you so much for reminding me of this, Jimin." 
He realised that he went a little too far just by seeing your clenched jaw and the anger in your eyes. Jimin sighs and shrugs. "Anyways, yes, Jungkook is going. But not to work as a waiter, he’ll take pictures instead.”
“So what?" 
Jimin swipes his hand over his face and shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. "I think you’re so stupid. Both of you. My fucking God.”
“You know what, Jimin? That’s none of your business.” You finally get up and take the tray rather roughly, walking away without looking back.
Maybe you were a little too rude with Jimin, but he’s being unbearable these days. 
It’s been one month since that day at Joy’s house - one month since you and Jungkook have been avoiding each other like the plague.
And maybe you were a little too rude with him because deep down, you know he’s right.
As usual.
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tae: wyd?? 👀👀
you: working
tae: ??? didn’t u quit ur job
you: yea
you: it’s one night thing
you: i need the 💸💸
tae: oh
tae: ok
tae: i’ll ask later then
you: wAIT
you: ask what??????
tae: later
tae: u should work first~
you: but im curious
you: i can’t work if im curious >:(
tae: 🙊
you: tae????
you: taeeeeeeee
you: TAEHYUNG
He doesn’t reply anymore.
You groan, shoving your phone on your back pocket again, and leave the restroom. The guests hadn’t arrived yet since the wedding ceremony is still ongoing, but the kitchen is already a mess: people yelling orders, the delicious scent of good food in the air, cooks cooking (duh) and waiters getting ready. The boss has already given you the last instructions, but it’s not as if working in an event like this is a difficult task: serve the guests, smile, be polite, walk around the hall, try not to break the crystal glasses that cost more than what you can pay.
The hotel is pretty fancy, actually. You were expecting a smaller wedding. Not that this is a problem, of course. The only problem here are the heels that all women are forced to use; it’s not too high, but walking around endlessly the whole night in these will be painful for sure. The rest of the uniform is that standard - black pants, white button shirt, black vest and bow tie, hair tied in a perfect high bun, simple makeup. 
You walk to the hall to make the last adjustments in the decoration. Pretty much everything is in place, so there isn’t much to do. The tables are organized, the floor is pristinely clean, the white flower bouquets are in place. A DJ will be in charge of music tonight.
You stand at the back of the hall, almost hidden, just to check your phone once more; no new texts. Now, you can’t stop thinking about what Taehyung wants to ask. He knows you’d get all curious. You and Taehyung have grown closer these days: late phone calls, endless texts, random memes at random times. You hadn’t gone on a proper date yet, though - and you don’t think you want to.
Taehyung is a nice guy and a good friend, but you don’t want to take things to the next level - even though this seems to be Taehyung’s intention since the beginning. He has been insisting in you for quite a long time now meanwhile all you do is keep a certain distance. You didn’t really give him any real hopes yet and you’re afraid that Taehyung might be reading your actions in the wrong way. Truth be told, it’ll be so shitty of you to keep his hopes high when you won’t go anywhere with this.
Your feelings are all messed up. 
Because you shouldn’t even be feeling anything in the first place.
Ironically, you’ve never been friends with benefits with anyone before. You did have some fuck buddies in the past, though - but you were never friends with any of them. You never got involved with any of your actual friends. Sure, there was that night when drunk-you and drunk-Jimin made out at a party (you don’t talk about it), but at that time, you had just joined college and neither you nor Jungkook were close to Jimin yet, so it doesn’t really count. Also, you and Jimin never had sex - you just kissed, nothing more.
But of course dumb you had to be friends with benefits with your best fucking friend. Of course you had to destroy your friendship like that. Everyone knows that sex is a friendship destroyer. Everyone!
One month without Jungkook felt like being in the desert without rain. You have good friends, but none of them are that special person that’s somehow able to read you mind and understand you even if you don’t say anything. None of them know the type of meme you’d laugh at, none of them sent you random snaps at random times of the day. Worst of all - you didn’t watch Endgame together, when you’ve been watching every Marvel film together ever since you both started obsessing over heroes years ago. Every. Single. Marvel. Film.
You didn’t get to see Jungkook crying during the last scenes of Endgame. Jimin didn’t say if he cried or not, but you know he cried.
That’s devastating.
Truth be told, you don’t even miss sex. Sure, you and Jungkook are the perfect match in bed, and you caught yourself masturbating at night wishing it were Jungkook’s fingers inside of you instead (touching yourself has never been so depressing), but what you actually miss to the point it hurts your chest are the small, familiar things. The comfortable silence. The funny banter. Going to Burger King together late at night after a party or when none of you want to cook. Showing each other funny videos or discussing about the latest chapter of the manga you’re both reading. Jungkook ignoring your texts for hours because he’s too focused on playing Overwatch. You even miss the way he never lets you eat the last slice of pizza, goddammit.
You simply miss him.
What leads you to another thought - something that has been growing stronger in your mind.
After days of self denial, you finally admitted that you were jealous of Jungkook and Joy.
There’s no other explanation for the way you acted that day at her house. You were mad that she was touching him and getting too close. That’s weird. You’ve never really been the jealous type. You never minded when people tried to flirt with Jungkook.
You’re not jealous of friends.
Even so, you had a jealousy attack and didn’t rest until Jungkook’s attention was yours again.
Being totally honest with yourself, you’ve been jealous of Joy ever since you found out she was interested in him.
…what the fuck?
Something inside of you have changed, and only now you’re brave enough to admit. Somewhere along the road, you stopped seeing Jungkook as just a friend. He’s currently in that blurry and confusing level - not only a friend, but at the same time, not more than a friend. You don’t know what the fuck he is anymore.
More importantly… do you want to be more than friends?
If you and Jungkook make up, will you be able to go back to what it was - just friends?
Or are you just being possessive? Did you start seeing him in a different way just because you realized you’re about to lose him?
You don’t know the answer to none of those questions. What you know at the moment is that being away from him fucking hurts. You have the same friends, go to the same places, study at the same university, but barely see each other anymore. What’s that thing people say? You just start valuing things after you lose them.
Jimin asked you not to play with Jungkook’s feelings. What he doesn’t know, though, is that you’re so confused about yours that you don’t have time to play with his feelings.
When you realize the guests are about to come, you force your brain to focus on your current task. You stand back with the rest of the waiters as, slowly, the elegant guests get into the hall, sitting at their respective tables, and soon the place is filled with conversation, laughter and music. 
After everyone took their places, the main couple finally come.
The lights change. The DJ plays a special song. Guests stand up and applaud when they enter the hall, smiling, and walk to the center to have their first dance as a married couple.
You could have noticed how the bride’s dress was beautiful. You could have noticed how her front teeth was dirty with lipstick and how the groom tried to discreetly tell her about this. You could have even noticed how one of the kids was starting to have a tantrum and his mother half-screamed, half-whispered, if you don’t be quiet you’ll be grounded for one month!
But you don’t notice any of that, because the photographer enters the hall right after the couple does.
Your heart flutters in a funny way.
Jungkook is wearing a suit (you don’t even remember the last time you saw him in a suit); black and simple, but it fits him so well. He isn’t much different from all the other man, except for his long hair - his black hair is so long he can probably tie it now - and his ear piercings. He holds his camera to eye level, capturing every moment he can from the couple’s first dance, a backpack with other tools hanging from his shoulder. 
Everyone else is focusing on the couple - but you can’t look at anything else but him.
He looks so handsome and focused and hot and-
Hey, you’re here to work!, you remind yourself angrily, shaking your head and walking back to the kitchen.
Drink after drink, tray after tray - you and the other waiters and waitresses walk around the hall to serve the guests. It’s not a difficult work, but still tiring nevertheless. It’s also hard to balance yourself and the trays with these high heels. Soon, you’re immersed in the work and momentarily forget about everything else, although (unconsciously) you try to avoid being seen by a specific someone.
Time passes by and the party goes on. Parents make heartfelt speeches, everyone cries. The DJ plays popular songs and soon the dancefloor is full. Alcohol already starts to get into their heads. Men are either speaking and laughing too loud or crying, hugging the groom. Women already forgot their high heels and their elegance, twerking shamelessly and screaming. Kids do the usual - run, yell, fall and cry - and they almost throw you on the ground twice. Someone spills champagne on the floor; you rush to clean it before someone ends up slipping. There’s the eventual noise of glass breaking. A certain dude has asked for your help far too much and you start to avoid him, noticing that he’s staring at your ass. Another guest pukes and is taken to the infirmary. As usual, you hear old women complaining about the food, how the decoration is ugly, how one waiter was rude, how the DJ doesn’t play the songs they want-
“The photographer is so hot! What’s his name?!” You hear someone giggling.
You gulp.
Jungkook is just doing his job, but that boy can’t go unnoticed, not even when he tries. You don’t know if he saw you yet, and honestly, you hope he didn’t.
Just do your job. Just do your job.
The night goes on. Your left foot hurts and you need to pee, but gladly most of the guests have already left - the groom and bride left first and the party went on without them -, the hall is almost empty, which means it’s almost ending. Now, you busy yourself with cleaning the hall.
“Man, I’m dead,” Hoseok groans, stretching his back. You nod, putting some empty glasses on a tray to take them back to the kitchen.
“Now imagine bearing it all in heels,” you say, not being able to keep your nice posture anymore. Not that there are many guests anyway - most are too drunk or sleeping on the tables. The DJ is still diligently playing, though. 
“The night was productive after all,” Jimin chirps happily, approaching you two with a smug  grin on his lips. You see he’s holding a small paper between his fingers… someone’s phone number.
“Son of a bitch,” you say under your breath. Jimin just shrugs and smirks. Much obviously, you apologized for your rudeness before you came. The fact that he forgave you so easily made everything worse, honestly. Jimin is a nice guy with his friends (way too nice for his own good sometimes) and it just shows how he doesn’t deserve to be treated in a rude way.
“I’m just taking the chances life gives me!” He chirps again, making you roll your eyes.
“Anyways, what’s wrong with Jungkook?” Hoseok wonders, crossing his arms and frowning. “He didn’t come over the entire night. Is he avoiding us?”
You gulp.
Instantly, your eyes travel to where he stands in the nearly-empty dance floor. He smiles politely to some women that stand around him. Everyone’s obviously too drunk and they’re probably talking nonsense.
He’s avoiding me, you realize sadly. 
“He’s working, Hoseok. His job won’t end if the guests keep asking for pictures.” Jimin is quick to say, what indeed makes sense, but Jimin also knows very well why he has been keeping his distance. Hoseok is the only one that doesn’t notice the strange tension in the air.
When you notice you’ve been staring for an embarrassing long time, you immediately shift your gaze to the dirty plates in front of you, organizing them in a pile to take them to the kitchen. You came here to work. That’s it. Focus-
An excited scream tears the air.
“I loooove this song!” One of the girls on the dance floor scream, the one that has been clinging on Jungkook ever since the crowd started to dissipate. Much obviously tipsy, her eyes were glued on him the entire night (not that you’ve been noticing the people checking him out. Of course not). “Jungkookie, dance with me!”
You almost gasp.
Jungkookie?!
That’s when you finally notice the face Jungkook is making - and you try your best not to laugh.
He has that look that means oh my fucking God someone please take me out of this situation.
The two boys by your side don’t try to hide the laughter as well as you, watching the desperate Jungkook try to turn her offer down - an awkward smile, eyes shifting from her, a muttered apology (I still have some work to do…) but the thirsty girl is surprisingly insistent (you can stop for a little bit, come on!).
“I feel sorry for him,” Hoseok almost chokes as he tries to stop his giggles. You kind of feel sorry, too. He can’t be rude to a customer, otherwise he’d be punched by her relatives - not that Jungkook would be rude anyway. He steps back, scratches the back of his neck. The girl is almost climbing him. He looks around desperately, trying to find a way to escape-
“Why don’t you help him, Y/N?” Jimin says sweetly.
You side eye the sugar-coated snake you call friend. “Jimin.” Is all you say in a warning manner.
Someone that doesn’t understand the situation wouldn’t think anything weird, because you’re actually used to save Jungkook from crazy girls. The thing is, sometimes he’s too nice to turn girls down - and yes, girls do chase him. When he’s not interested in them, you’d usually understand the situation and run on his rescue, most times pretending to be his girlfriend so the girls would stop bothering him. It’s something funny and you’d always laugh your asses off right after.
Not now.
You definitely don’t want to laugh now.
Jimin is being far from innocent. He just wants to push you two into each other. He may have good intentions, but he’s not considering the fact that you don’t feel ready to face Jungkook - not when your feelings are so messed up. This ain’t happening.
“Yeah, Y/N. Jungkook looks pretty desperate,” Hoseok remarks, again, oblivious to the tension lingering in the air.
“Jungkook can handle himself very well. He doesn’t need my help.” Even though Jimin feels your menacing glare and sees your jaw clench, this boy is very brave and insists:
“Come on, Y/N! It won’t hurt.” He says innocently.
Yes, it will hurt. It already hurts, dumbass.
“Did you guys forget that we’re here to work? I don’t want to be reprimanded.”
“The hall is near empty. There’s literally nothing to do anymore.” Hoseok doesn’t understand why you’re glaring at him now.
You’re trying to control your nerves, but it’s getting hard not to feel your stomach jump in a weird way and your fingertips tremble. Just the idea of approaching him makes you weak, and not in a good way. Why these people can’t just leave you alone?!
“Do you think that avoiding him forever will work?” Jimin hisses on your ear, low enough so only you can listen, finally showing how pissed he really is.
What he says gets you.
Avoiding each other isn’t working, you know this very well. You remember the way you used to deal with things in the past - talking. Sure, you won’t be able to really talk right now, but at least you’ll have a chance to approach him.
You don’t want to. You really don’t. But at the same time, you want to. You miss Jungkook. 
Besides, he can’t run away from you in this situation.
You take a deep breath and gulp, trying to ease the tension. Come on. I know Jungkook. He’s the same bastard I’ve known my whole life. Stop being a pussy. I’m not a pussy!
“Just to make clear,” you whisper back to Jimin. “I fucking hate you.”
“You love me.” You wish you could rip that triumphant smirk off his face.
You walk over to the dance floor.
The few couples dance slowly and intimately. Because of course it had to be a slow dance. Of course it had to be a romantic song. Haha. Of course. The Universe must be playing some trick on you. 
Jungkook managed to run away from the girl, trying to hide in the corner of the hall, and she’s searching for him like a hawk. You wonder if she’s this drunk or if she’s just stupid. A guy literally running away from you isn’t already a message enough?
You walk quickly to where he stands, and the moment Jungkook turns around and lays his eyes on you, shock covers his features.
“Y/N-?”
“Quick, dance with me,” you say hurriedly, placing his hands on your waist. “She’s coming.”
Instead of questioning, Jungkook immediately starts to play along as you place your own hands on his shoulders. You discreetly watch when the girl finally finds you.
She stops on her tracks.
“She saw us?” He asks without looking back.
“Yes.”
“And?”
You see fire in her eyes.
“If she had a gun, she’d probably shoot me.” The girl looks outraged that you stole her chance to grind on him. “Oh, she’s turning away.”
Jungkook sighs in relief. “Thanks God. She’s been bothering me all night!” You can’t help but giggle.
For a millisecond, it feels like nothing has changed.
But then you look at each other for the first time.
It might be dramatic, but you almost feel that the temperature drops around you.
Oh shit.
You avoid each other’s gazes at the same time. It feels so tremendously awkward to be in front of him again - especially when you’re slow dancing in the dim light of the hall, almost hidden. It feels uncomfortably intimate. Especially because you’re both keeping a distance that normal couples wouldn’t. You probably look like a weird couple at a prom party that were forced to dance together.
It feels foreign.
The way you touch each other doesn’t feel right. You have touched each other in the most intimate and obscene ways, yet the simple touch of his hands on your waist doesn’t feel right. Despite this, you feel your blood boiling with a strange type of excitement; you missed him so damn much. Even in this uncomfortable situation, you can’t help but feel a little bit happy. You didn’t know you’ve been craving for his touch so much up until now.
What’s weird is that you don’t even feel like this in a sexual way. You’re not aroused. Considering how your relationship became strictly sexual these past months, your lack of arousal to be around him is weird.
The butterflies in your stomach and the way your hands are shaking a little bit is also weird.
For some moments, you just sway from side to side in an overwhelming silence. You have no choice but to listen intently to the song being played. As if you already don’t feel fucked up enough, you’re forced to listen to a love song - an 80s love song on top of that. Of course it has to be Is This Love by Whitesnake. Of course. Haha.
“Uhm… thanks.” Jungkook finally breaks the silence. His voice lacks confidence. He probably never talked to you like this.
“Just helping out a friend,” you say and instant regret smashes you. You don’t know if he’s still your friend. 
Jungkook looks scarily annoyed for a second. “A friend. Sure.”
Is it inappropriate to notice how he looks handsome when he clenches his jaw?
Honestly, has Jungkook always been this handsome?
Sure, he has always been like this. Maybe not seeing him in a long time made you feel this way. His hair has grown a lot. He looks extra fine in this suit. Every man looks better in a suit, but Jungkook looks like a deity. 
The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy.
You did miss him a lot. 
The silence makes you pay attention to the song again.
Wasted days and sleepless nights
But I can’t wait to see you again…
Hah, I know how it feels, you think - what makes you widen your eyes, shocked with your own thoughts. No. You won’t suddenly relate to a cliche 80s love song. 
Right?
“H-How’s school going?” You stutter. Are you trying to do small talk? For real?
“It’s doing fine,” he simply says. Oh fuck. Not good. He sounds so uninterested in your weak attempt at engaging a conversation it hurts. You came here to try and talk about what really matters, but you don’t feel ready to do it yet. Can’t he understand it?!
It looks like your presence bothers him, honestly.
That’s new.
Wow. Your heart suddenly feels clenched.
Awkward.
Why am I feeling this way?
A heavy silence weighs on you again. This isn’t going as planned - not that you planned anything in the first place. You’re going through a lot of weird sensations now.
Why is that?
You look at Jungkook timidly (timid and Jungkook are two words that used to not make any sense together in the past), but he doesn’t look back. You avoid his gaze again.
Being hit by a truck would hurt less.
What’s happening?
Why are you so damn confused?
When the song hits its chorus, you start to think the Universe is definitely playing with you. The deep voice of the singer floats in the air:
Is this love 
That I’m feeling?
Is this the love
That I’ve been searching for?
Fuck you, Whitesnake. 
For real. 
Fuck. You.
“Did Taehyung ask you?”
This brings you back to reality in an instant.
“What?” You look at him, confused. Why is he talking about Taehyung of all people out of nowhere?
You’ve always been very good at reading Jungkook, but right now, he’s unreadable.
“So he didn’t.” He says blatantly, devoid of any emotion. “I thought he would have already.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He talked to me about a double date.” Jungkook replies, looking back at you for the first time - again, a blank face. “You and him, me and Joy.”
Your blood honestly feels like frost.
It’s like you lost the ability to move or talk for a moment. You blink and gulp, trying to keep composed.
“What? Why?”
“Because he said it’d be fun. And less awkward, since I’m not very close to Joy yet and you’re not very close to him.”
Again, you don’t say anything for long seconds.
“But we’d just be cockblocking each other during the whole date,” you say.
“I know. I think the idea of a double date sounds weird, too. It’s not as if we don’t know them.”
You remember what Taehyung texted you earlier today; he said he’d ask something later. Is he going to ask you out?
He thinks that, since you and Jungkook are best friends, you could ease the tension and even help each other out.
This is so fucked up.
The immediate answer that comes to your mind is no. You don’t want to go on a date with Taehyung when you’re not interested in him. It’d be cruel; you don’t want to keep his hopes high. 
But as you’re about to say it, you stop.
What if Jungkook wants to go?
All this time, you’ve only been considering your feelings. Your confusion, your wishes - it’s always about you. You don’t know if you want to be just Jungkook’s friend, but you don’t know if he wants to be more than a friend - or if he wants to be your friend at all. The fuck buddies thing started because you asked. Not even once did you think about him.
Is this what Jimin meant when he asked you to not play with Jungkook’s feelings?
How selfish you’ve been acting all this time?
What if he’s been developing feelings for Joy and now decided to try something? He’s probably feeling hurt because you’ve not been acting like a good friend. You’re always putting yourself first.
That’s why you hear yourself asking:
“Do you want to go?”
It’s scary how every tiny little piece of you wishes he’ll say no.
But Jungkook tilts his head and says:
“Yes. I know it sounds weird, but we can part ways as soon as we get there.”
And this is the moment you feel as cold as you’ve never felt in your life.
It’s as if your ears got obstructed for a moment, because you can’t hear anything but your heartbeat. You can’t even see properly for a second. Yet, you ignore all that, gulp and nod.
It’s time to be a good friend for once.
It’s time to put Jungkook’s wishes first - even though it crushes your heart.
“Okay.” You say quietly.
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You’re coming to the conclusion that you’re a walking disaster.
You’ve never been so nervous before a date in your life - but this is not the usual type of nervousness, when people are excited to meet their crush and impress them etc etc. You’re nervous because you don’t want to go. You thought of coming up with a thousand excuses (from the classical “I’m sick :(” to “Seulgi’s sick I gotta take care of her :(” to “my cat’s sick :(” but then you remembered you don’t have a cat to “I’m being chased by the police and I gotta leave the country :(”), but in the end, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.
Not when Taehyung sounded so painfully happy when you said you’d go.
That’s why you should have said no: Taehyung doesn’t deserve this. He’s a good person and he will certainly get hurt when you tell him you’re not interested. Who cares about Jungkook? That fucker can go on a date by himself, he’s not a kid anymore.
But…
There’s something very tiny and mean inside of you called jealousy that didn’t let you simply text an honest apology to Taehyung.
And now it’s too late, because he’s standing at your door.
Handsome as always, Taehyung wears casual clothes: it’s almost as if he didn’t put much thought on it, but he still looks drop dead gorgeous on his black baggy pants, white shirt and black beret (no other man in this planet can manage to not look stupid in a beret other than Taehyung). As usual, your brain malfunctions as it tries to process his beauty.
He has a small, beautiful smile on his lips.
Shit.
“You look beautiful,” he says, and he sounds like he means it. You did put some effort on your clothes, makeup and hair after all. Being complimented by him feels nice.
Shit.
“Thanks. You too, but that’s just your usual self,” you say thoughtlessly and instant regret slaps your face again. Yes, bitch. Flirt with him. Make things more difficult.
Taehyung looks shy for a moment. The sight is endearing.
S. H. I. T.
“You’re just being nice to me.” He tilts his head. “So, let’s go?" 
It’s too late to go back now, so you have no choice but to take his arm and show your most plastic smile. "Yeah.”
You’re definitely a walking disaster.
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You two arrive in the park first and, instead of just showing your tickets and getting in, you’re forced to wait for the bastard and his hot date.
An amusement park of all places.
Not that you hate amusement parks, it’s pretty much the opposite. It’s just that everything feels so wrong. Especially how Taehyung is making a lot of effort to keep the conversation alive while you wait. It’s not hard to talk to him, though, because he’s an interesting person, but seeing his efforts hurts.
What hurts more is the sight of Jungkook and Joy arriving with locked arms.
You hope Taehyung didn’t notice you holding your breath.
Joy looks hot as always, but you don’t even look at her (yes, it’s not nice to be mad at someone that didn’t do anything wrong), eyes glued on Jungkook instead. Just like Taehyung, it seems that he didn’t put much thought on his clothes, only their styles are completely different: Jungkook wears an oversized grey t-shirt, black pants and sneakers. It might seem simple, but he can manage to look good in anything. Joy surely didn’t mind his choice of clothes.
You lock gazes for one second and proceed to avoid it.
The four of you greet. It’s hard to act natural, but you try to; you don’t want the two others to notice the weird tension between you and the black-haired bastard. Joy looks happy, too.
Shit.
Soon, you get into the amusement park. As expected, it’s crowded with kids, families and couples. The weather feels nice this afternoon.
“It’s been a long time since I don’t come to an amusement park,” you confess. 
“Really? Then this was a good choice. I was worried if it’d be too cheesy…” he also confesses sheepishly.
“It’s not!” You reassure him. Joy agrees with you. Jungkook keeps silent. “I just have some traumatizing memories about amusement parks.”
Taehyung quirks one eyebrow. “What?”
You sigh.
You and Jungkook end up saying in unison:
“5th grade.”
You look at each other and avoid your gazes again.
“What? What happened on 5th grade?” Joy asks excitedly.
“Our school came to an amusement park that year,” Jungkook explains.
“Why was it traumatizing?” Taehyung still seems confused.
“Because… well…” you hesitate to say.
“Because she was so short back then that they didn’t let her go on the rollercoasters. And she cried the whole trip,” Jungkook suddenly says.
You glare at him.
He has a playful smirk on his lips.
“Oh, so what about you?” You can’t help but smile, too.
“What happened to him?” Joy asks.
“He laughed at me because I couldn’t ride, but he puked his lunch after he went on the coaster and spent half of the trip in the infirmary,” you reveal. 
“You’re still bitter that you stayed with me in the infirmary?” He inquires.
“Of course I am! Also, you puked on my shoes!”
“I already apologized. Besides, I paid you banana milk for two entire weeks. Isn’t it enough?”
“It isn’t!”
“Are you saying that banana milk isn’t enough?!” He gasps. “You psycho.”
You both giggle.
Again, for one moment, it feels that everything is back to normal. You feel comfortable having these old memories, as if you never stopped being best friends, as if you have the intimacy to play like this again.
But it’s only for one moment.
You avoid gazes. It feels so out of place. 
At least the sadness in Jungkook’s eyes shows that he feels the same about this all.
Before the tension between you two can become too strong, you change the topic and engage both Taehyung and Joy in the conversation - during that moment, you two forgot about them. As wrong as it is, Taehyung is your date for the night. He’s the one you should pay attention to.
So you try to completely ignore Jungkook’s existence for a while.
You only look at Taehyung and don’t even touch your phone. You answer his questions and ask things about him. It doesn’t feel like a punishment, though, because he is an interesting person and you genuinely enjoy his company.
But you can’t help but look at Jungkook from time to time.
You can’t help but notice his smiley-eyes as he looks at her.  You can’t help but see their closure.
You can’t help but feel your heart clenching.
And then, you see yourself locking your arm with Taehyung’s.
“What’s that?” You say excitedly. “I wanna see it!”
You drag Taehyung away from the other couple until they disappear in the crowd. Only then you remember how to breathe again.
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Considering all the odds, this going better than you expected.
You tried your best to completely erase Jungkook’s and Joy’s existence from your mind, and at some point it finally worked. Taehyung is a funny guy to be around. There’s something very particular and endearing about his personality that captivates you; he’s obviously trying to impress you, but he’s still being very honest. He has some type of innocence that makes you realize that this guy is seriously one of a kind. You can’t think of a single sign that he might be a bad person.
You’re genuinely enjoy this.
But not in the way Taehyung expects you to be enjoying it. 
As wrong as it is, you unconsciously end up comparing him to Jungkook. 
If Jungkook was your date, the first thing you’d both want to do is try all the rollercoasters and the wildest rides in this park. But Taehyung is scared of heights. You didn’t want to make the boy vomit his own stomach, so you ended up avoiding it - even though you really wanted to go on that orange coaster that looks high as fuck.
Taehyung didn’t really get your jokes. The fact that he still laughed politely is cute, but still - Jungkook and you have the same sense of humor. You two like the same stupid type of meme. It felt strange when you had to explain more than once a certain joke so Taehyung could understand. 
Taehyung didn’t know your favorite ice cream flavor or your favorite soda. He doesn’t know the kind of movie you like, nor your favorite series, nor your favorite singers. You know you’re being stupid - the whole point of going on a date is to get to know each other, but every now and then you end up remembering how Jungkook knows every dumb detail about you…
What makes you realize that, as much as Taehyung is an amazing guy, you are too different from each other. 
What also makes you realize that, maybe… you don’t really want to get to know anyone else.
And suddenly, an image starts to build in your mind - an image you try very hard to erase, but it’s already too strong to be forgotten.
Instead of Taehyung, you arm is locked with Jungkook’s. You’re both laughing and having fun, just like things used to be. Only now you’re not just friends. 
It’s the first time in all these years that you see yourself dating Jungkook clearly. Painfully clearly.
The cotton candy you’re eating suddenly tastes like iron on your tongue. You feel your throat tightening. All of this became painful. The fact that you’re trying so hard to forget Jungkook for a few minutes, yet he’s everything you can think of. The fact that he’s in the same park as you having a date with another girl - said girl that is a friend, by the way, someone you encouraged to be with Jungkook, and now you’re hating her existence even though she did nothing wrong, all because of jealousy. There’s also the fact that Jungkook is much obviously avoiding you.
And the most painful fact of all-
“Are you okay, YN?” Taehyung asks, the smile vanishing from his lips the moment he sees your expression. 
The fact that this incredible person likes you much more than you expected. It’s obvious now that you look at his eyes. He really likes you - a funny, smart and special guy, someone that didn’t check his phone not even once ever since this date started, someone that has been trying his hardest to make sure you’re having fun, a guy that is usually very confident, but at the moment looks very uneasy around you.
He’s the perfect guy. He wasn’t disrespectful, wasn’t trying to get into your pants, treated you very well. You went on dates that were far worse than this. There was nothing wrong with him. You’re also sure he’d be a loving and caring boyfriend.
But all you can think of is Jungkook. 
And even though you knew this date wouldn’t work, you still accepted to come anyway. You kept Taehyung’s hopes high. Just because you were jealous.
You’re definitely the worst person on this planet.
But this has to end before Taehyung gets more hurt.
“I’m not feeling very well,” you hear yourself saying. Worry covers Taehyung’s features. “What’s the problem? Was it something you ate? Do you want to go to the infirmary?”
Damn. It hurts to see him like this.
“No. Can you… can you just take me home, please?” You ask sheepishly. 
If Taehyung feels disappointed, he doesn’t let you see; he just nods instead. “Okay. Let’s go.”
And this is how you managed to destroy a perfectly fine night.
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You still try not to think of Jungkook and Joy on your way back home; you don’t want to know if they’re still in the park or if they went somewhere else. The idea of what they must be doing makes your stomach twirl in a bad way. It feels like a weight installed itself on your shoulders. Everything seems too oppressive and suffocating. You can’t wait to be alone and peaceful to process all of these feelings. Fortunately, Seulgi isn’t home - she went to sleep at a friend’s house to finish a project. 
For the first time, being with Taehyung feels awkward as you walk to the front door of your apartment. You can see he isn’t exactly glad. It makes everything worse.
You stop in front of the door and you turn around to face him. Everything you have to say must be said now.
“I’m so sorry, Taehyung.” You say in an embarrassed tone, scratching the back of your neck. “I ruined everything.”
“What? No!” He’s quick to reassure. God, his eyes are beautiful… “It’s not your fault. People feel ill, that’s normal.”
You gulp. Oh Gosh. He believed what you said. This is getting worse and worse… “I had a lot of fun today. Really.” You sigh and tilt your head tiredly. “Honestly, it was the most fun I had in a long time…”
“I had a lot of fun, too.” His smile is able to melt any frozen heart. “I noticed that you had a lot in mind, so I’m glad I was able to distract you at least a little.”
It gets you off guard. 
He’s way more observant than you expected.
“You noticed…?” You gulp, even more embarrassed. He nods. “I’m so sorry…”
“It’s fine. Everyone has a bad day every now and then. I just have to admit that I’m kind of worried about you.”
You stare at each other in silence for a while.
“Are you?” Why suddenly all you can do is make stupid questions?
Taehyung tilts his head. “Yes. You’re always such a bright person. Seeing you being quiet these days makes me sad.” First of all: did people start to realize that there’s something wrong with you? Are you acting this weird?
Second of all: that was adorable. He’s so honest about his feelings.
“To be honest, Taehyung… I’m not really a bright person,” you end up confessing in a quiet, weak voice. You don’t know why you’re saying this. You were supposed to push him away, not pull him closer. “I think I’m just used to pretend I am.”
“You don’t have to,” your eyes widen when you feel his fingertips brushing on your cheek as he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re not. To suppress this type of feeling… it hurts. Believe me, I know.” For a moment, you feel your breath hitch. The skin where  his fingers touched feels warm. He’s mesmerizing. His voice sounds like a sweet melody on your ears: deep, silky. “So, if you ever feel like opening up… I’m here, okay?” He widens his eyes for a second. “I-I mean- you can open up to Seulgi or Jungkook or Jimin, sure… anyone.”
This moment of shyness coming from him makes you giggle. “I don’t feel like opening up to anyone right now,” especially not to you, you think. “but thank you, Tae. It… it makes me really happy. I’m glad I went on this date with you.”
You shouldn’t have said that.
You shouldn’t have called him Tae.
Even though you’re saying the truth and there’s no second intentions hidden, Taehyung hears something else. 
His hand is still resting on your cheek.
And he says nothing.
He just… stares right into your eyes.
You can’t move.
You clearly see when his face starts coming closer and closer to yours, slowly but surely. You see his heavy-lidded eyes, his clouded gaze, his parted lips. You feel the thick tension in the air around you - the electricity. 
That’s when you should have pushed him away.
But you can’t.
Instead, you unconsciously close your eyes. You feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second - until his lips finally touch yours.
The kiss is suave - gentle and delicate. He doesn’t move his lips at first, merely pressing his against yours. Your body warms up in a way you haven’t felt in a long time; not because of arousal. It’s the pure excitement of being kissed.
Maybe that’s why you let him kiss you. You had forgotten how it feels like to be touched without any sexual intention. Kisses are too intimate, so you and Jungkook didn’t really kiss that often - and when you did kiss, it was always heated and obscene, tongues entangling wildly until both of you could barely breathe. It’s been a long time since someone kissed and held you like this: with gentleness and care. Taehyung isn’t treating you like a sex toy.
You melt.
Your lips part as he deepens the kiss; he is undemanding, careful and delicate. His lips taste like lip balm. No one is fighting for control, no one is desperate. It’s slow and synchronized. It’s sweet and innocent. Most importantly - it’s way different than you ever expected it to be. You never thought he’d kiss like this.
When Taehyung pulls away, the purest smile adorns his features.
“I’m sorry.” He says quietly, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “I should have asked permission.”
“It’s okay.” And it really is. You shouldn’t, but you liked it. 
“I'll… I’ll get going.” He says, the smile never disappearing. His eyes are also smiling. He stands there awkwardly in an adorable manner. “Can I text you later?”
“Sure.” You nod. “Good night. And thank you again.”
Taehyung grins. “Good night.”
Before leaving, he presses his lips on yours quickly one last time. 
You watch until he disappears inside the elevator, entering the apartment and standing there alone in the dark for a few seconds.
Then you unceremoniously slam your forehead against the wooden door.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You hiss between gritted teeth. “What have you done?!”
You were supposed to push him away. You should have told him the truth - that you don’t have feelings for him, that you’re confused and almost certainly in love with another guy. Instead, you just stood there and let him kiss you. You not only kept his hopes high, you increased them.
How will you get yourself out of this situation now?!
You throw yourself on the couch, grab a cushion and scream into it. I’m the worst of the worst. I’m a walking catastrophe. 
For a long time, you just lay there and torture yourself with bad thoughts. Taehyung is the nicest guy you’ve met in a really long time. If you gave him the opportunity months ago, you’re sure you’d be dating right now - and the idea isn’t even unpleasant. He’s hot and smart and funny and sweet. It’s even hard to believe that someone like him is interested in you.
But…
No. Don’t think about him.
You want to punch yourself and scream and eat tons of ice cream and cry - all at once. You’re the queen of taking bad decisions. You’re the heart crusher and friendship destroyer-
There’s someone knocking on the front door.
You sit up in a jump and frown. Is it Seulgi? Did she forget her keys?
You walk slowly around the living room, defeated as if you’ve just came home from war, your hair a mess and shoulders shrinking. You turn the doorknob and open it-
And gasp.
Because standing at your front door is the person you least expected to see.
Jungkook is casually leaning on the door frame as if his presence didn’t make you burst a lung. He looks down, eyes avoiding yours; although the hallway is considerably dark, you can see his expression well. You know him too well. You see sadness and guilt and fear in his eyes.
Your heart beats so fast that you’re afraid it’ll stop suddenly. Nervousness crawls over your skin and makes your stomach feel cold.
“J-Jungkook? What are you doing here?” You’re brave enough to stutter. You completely forgot that Jungkook used to come over so often that you gave him full permission to enter and leave the building whenever he wanted.
He doesn’t say anything.
Instead, he lifts his left hand and shows you what he’s carrying: a plastic bag full with a pack of…
Banana milk.
“I think we really need to talk.” He says quietly, his eyes meeting yours for the first time.
You inhale sharply.
He’s right. You need to talk.
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The cold night breeze makes you tighten your coat around your body. Yours and Jungkook’s hairs sway softly with the wind. You can hear the sounds of the city from up here, in the empty terrace - cars, sirens, voices. A glowing map of endless streets and buildings extends itself in front of your eyes.
You’re both leaning on the railing side by side. You’re hyper aware of the distance between you - both physical and… spiritual. You’ve been standing here in silence for quite some time now, quietly drinking the banana milk he brought, and none of you were able to engage a conversation. The tension is heavy. It overwhelms your whole being. Nervousness makes your nerves tense. You can’t even look at him.
Dozens of questions float around your mind; what is he doing here? Why did he decide to come in the first place? What happened to his date? It’s still very early, he could have stayed with her much longer…
You also can’t help but feel helplessly excited that he is here. With you. Not with Joy. He took the initiative to meet you. 
You can’t lose this opportunity.
“It’s kinda cold.” Is the first thing you say. It doesn’t even sound like you.
“Yeah.” He agrees, and he also doesn’t sound like him.
The awkwardness is almost solid right now. Things used to be so different… you can’t remember one moment in the past when such an uncomfortable feeling lingered between you. 
“Hm…” you cough. “What, hm… what about you and Joy?”
Why the fuck are you asking this?, you yell at yourself.
Jungkook looks down and shakes his head. “Let’s not talk about Joy or Taehyung right now, okay?”
You shrug. “I’m just trying to start a conversation.”
“That’s not how you do it.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to do it anymore.”
Jungkook goes silent with this, the quick aggressiveness disappearing as soon as it came. He gulps and looks down at the banana milk between his fingers again. 
More silence.
“Can I… can I ask you something?” Jungkook says after a long while. His voice is quiet, hesitant, almost being carried away with the wind.
“What?” You feel your body heating up in anticipation. 
He finally looks up to you, and in the moment your eyes meet, you have this weird feeling that everything except him looks blurred.
“Why did you start dating Mike?” He asks. “I warned you about him. I mean, you used to listen to me in the past.”
Oh.
Certainly not the type of question you were expecting.
What a mood killer, Jungkook.
You avoid his gaze again, trying to hide your disappointment. “Why are you asking me this now?”
“I just really want to know.” He takes one more sip of the banana milk.
A sigh escapes through your lips and you stare at the shiny city ahead. You didn’t think you’d have to bring up memories of Mike. It’s been a long time, but it still hurts to remember him.
“I… I just…” you start, trying to organize your thoughts. “You know that Mike had like a… bad relationship with his parents, right?” Jungkook nods. “Mike opened up about this to me. I saw how much it hurt him. He was lonely, broken. And I…” this is being way harder than you expected. You shrug, shake your head. “I don’t know. I was just being my stupid self. I thought I could… I wanted to fix him. I realized that I have this heroine complex, you know?” You side eye him sheepishly. “But there are a lot of things I can’t fix… I’m better at breaking things, not fixing them.”
“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help people.” The confidence in which Jungkook says this makes, yet again, an odd sensation set in your stomach. 
It is probably the first time Jungkook managed to make you blush in your entire life.
A little more silence.
“Did you actually like him?” You can barely hear his voice.
You have no idea why he’s making this questions. Why is he bringing up Mike after so long?
“Well… yes.” You can’t lie right now. “I did.” You make sure to reinforce the did. It’s in the past.
Jungkook nods and says nothing. He takes another banana milk from the plastic bag and opens it.
You inhale, building up your courage to ask something you’ve been wanting to know for a long time. He touched this subject anyway.
“You asked me something, now it’s my turn to ask you something.” Jungkook nods. You have the feeling that he already knows what’s coming. “Why did you break up with Yeri?”
“She broke up with me.”
Oh.
“Why?” You repeat. You can see that Jungkook gets clearly uncomfortable, but you’re not letting him go without an answer - and he already knows how stubborn you can be, too. He shifts, tilts his head, exhales heavily.
“It just didn’t work out.”
“But you liked her. And she liked you, too.” It was pretty obvious to anyone that saw them together. 
Jungkook takes a long while to speak again. “I did like her. A lot.” The way his voice sounds fragile surprises you. Seeing him like this is very rare. Jungkook isn’t one to get all emotional too often. It seems that confessing this to you is important to him, somehow.
It also scares you a tiny bit. What if Jungkook still likes her, just like you suspected in the past?
“I didn’t want things to end the way they did.” He continues. His eyes are far away, watching old memories. His shoulders seem tense. He fiddles with the small banana milk bottle between his fingers. “But… some things aren’t meant to be, it doesn’t matter how much you want them to.”
This answer sounds… way too vague. Not what you want to hear. You know there’s more behind their break up, but just by looking at Jungkook you see that he isn’t telling you anything else. Well, this is the most he ever said about his past relationship in almost one year. It’s better than nothing.
And back to silence.
You want to push this awkwardness away. But how? You don’t feel as close to Jungkook as you always were. It’s not as if you could simply say anything in this moment… especially because, somehow, you feel that Jungkook expects you to do something, even though he came all the way to your apartment just to talk.
Say something, goddamnit!
“I’m sorry.” you blurt out.
Jungkook looks at you, but you’re not strong enough to look back at him. You hold the tiny bottle so tightly that it might get smashed at any moment; that’s just how nervous you are.
“Sorry for what?” he asks quietly. You hear the expectation in his voice… almost as if he’s holding his breath.
You can’t help but gulp. I’m not good with this type of thing. 
“For everything.” you hate the way your voice sounds so damn fragile. Being sincere like this is somehow… painful. But that’s what Jungkook expects of you: sincerity. So you keep talking, although you don’t know the right words to express yourself. “I… I don’t know why things got like this between us…” you almost gasp. “I mean, I know why. We know why. And I feel very responsible.”
“You have this habit of taking the blame to yourself, isn’t it?” He murmurs. Jungkook shakes his head softly and passes his hand on his hair.
“But I was the one to propose it in the first place.”
“And I agreed.”
“Okay, but…” you have to stop for a moment to recover your breath. “I don’t know, I just feel sorry. I didn’t think of anyone except me all along. I’ve been an awful person to you… and awful friend. Also…” you need to stop again. Why is it so hard to speak? It feels as if there’s something obstructing your throat; the words hardly come out. “What I did that day at Joy’s house… it was wrong. I’m sorry that I made you upset that day.”
Jungkook sighs heavily. You’re still scared to look at him. 
“I’m sorry about that day, too. I was rude to you.” Is he apologizing for calling you a slut while you had sex in the bathroom? Well, you definitely didn’t care about that. “I feel sorry too, Y/N. The way we drifted apart from each other…” he gesticulates with his finger between you and him. “The fault is on us both. I already told you, you shouldn’t take all the responsibility to yourself. We were both stupid.”
“Very stupid.” you both chuckle. You feel your heart lightening up for a moment; that strong tension still hovers around you, but now it feels like a different type of tension. Seeing that tiny smile in Jungkook’s lips makes your heart race. 
You finally look at each other.
The shadows of the night paint Jungkook’s face. His hair sways with the wind softly. His dark eyes shine as much as diamonds. You never really understood the expression “to get lost in someone’s eyes…” 
Well… now you do.
The small moment you two share feels fragile… featherlight. You’re scared that if you say or do something wrong, it’ll break and disappear. You’re scared to break him. To break yourself. This makes you remember that, ever since you were kids, Jungkook has always been the most fragile of you two. He has always been the most sensitive, the one to get hurt easily. Jimin was right all along. How could you do this to him? Why did you let this happen between you two? 
“I missed you.” your voice is barely a whisper. Admitting this makes you feel exposed and relieved at the same time. Your throat feels even tighter.
“I missed you, too.” he confesses. 
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
You smile at each other.
That’s the moment you almost confess something more… your confused feelings for him. You feel the urge to say that you don’t see him as just a friend anymore; that you don’t want to be just a friend anymore.
But something holds you back.
This is maybe the moment when you’re finally being able to reconcile. You don’t know if Jungkook feels the same about you; you don’t want to push him away by throwing your feelings over him. This might destroy you friendship forever.
Then, you decide to keep it all to yourself. At least for now.
“So,” Jungkook says, sighing. “What about that group project?”
You quirk one eyebrow up. “I’m pretty sure you know about the group project.”
Jungkook giggles. “Jimin has been annoying you, too?” you nod. He shakes his head. “He’s a little shit, isn’t he?”
“Yes. He had good intentions, at least.” You shrug. 
“He could be a little more subtle, though.” You can’t help but agree. “Congratulations for getting the highest grade.”
“Thank you. Jimin also told me that you’ve been talking to some important people…”
Jungkook smiles beautifully with this. “Yes. It’s a director. He said that he likes my work and that I have talent. I think he’ll invite me to work with him as a trainee for a while.” Your eyes widen in a surprised expression.
“Really?! That’s great, Kook!” It feels so nice to call him Kook again after so long. Slowly, you feel that unbearable tension vanishing and all that’s left is you and him. Two people that know each other better than you know yourselves for most of your lives. In a matter of seconds, the distance that put you apart for months seems to disappear. 
Suddenly, you feel a cold drizzle start falling over your heads. Jungkook frowns. “I think we should get down there.”
“Yes.” Before you can think better, you blurt out: “You can sleep here if you want.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that, because Jungkook’s frown deepens as he stares at you with suspicion. A shiver of fear runs down your spine. “Hey, that’s not what I mean.” You’re quick to say, waving your hands. “Before this sex thing started there was just us, remember? I… I miss us.”
Jungkook thinks for some moments, his eyes never leaving yours. 
Then, a tiny smile makes its way to his lips - and you’re happy to see that the smile reaches his eyes, too. “Okay.”
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“Wait- so Irene and Jennie made up?” Jungkook asks from the kitchen, surprised.
“That’s what it looks like. I mean, they did post some photos together on Instagram.” you say while adjusting the pillows and blankets on the mattress you placed in the living room. Yours’ and Seulgi’s friends come to sleep over a lot, so you’re used to do it - you even bought some spare sheets and blankets for this occasion. 
“But you can’t be sure that they are together just because of some photos.”
“Yeah, but you know Seulgi. She jumped to conclusions. Being honest, they don’t look like a couple in these photos… but I don’t think there’s anything I can say that will change her mind at this point. I tried everything.”
“I don’t really think that they’ll make up this time.” Jungkook admits. You walk over to the kitchen and lean on the counter, opposite to him.
“I feel bad for her. Seulgi still loves Irene and she can’t get over it. I think it’s the first time she spends the night out in a long while… and it isn’t even to have fun. I’m worried.”
He pouts and shrugs, eyes focused in building up his sandwich. “Maybe we should just let her figure things out by herself.”
“But she’s doing nothing.”
Jungkook stops adding ketchup just to stare at you and quirk his eyebrows. “Y/N. I think I already said that you should stop trying to be a cupid, like… a million times.”
“I didn’t say I’d do something!” You do your best to sound offended. 
“I know you, woman. I’ve seen this face many times. You look like an evil gremlin.” 
“I don’t!” you cross your arms. You forgot how annoying it is that Jungkook knows you so well, because you did think of doing something to help her. You’re so tired of seeing you friend being sad all the time. All she does these days is watch Netflix and complain. She already started to look like a zombie at this point. No one can blame you for being concerned. “Besides, gremlins are cute.”
“You’re the only person on this planet that thinks this.” He shakes his head slightly, his hair waving in the process.
“Why did you let your hair grow so much?” You ask, resting your chin over your palm. 
“Because I look good with long hair.” Jungkook shrugs, a smug smirk on his face. 
“You cocky little shit.”
“Am I wrong for telling the truth?” He looks up at you again, playful. You can’t even tell he’s wrong: that long hair really matches his looks and personality. 
“Hey, are you still helping Namjoon and Yoongi?” you ask when Jungkook starts to make a fourth sandwich. Yes, you guys do eat a lot.
“Yeah. I haven’t been to the studio in a few days, but they still call me whenever they need me.” Jungkook presses his lips together and shifts a little: nervousness. “I… I kind of helped them write a song.”
“Really? But you said you were just ‘lending’ them your voice to record demos.” 
“Yeah, but I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.” He shifts his eyes to you then back to the sandwich very rapidly. “Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.”
“Aw, come on! I’ve been wanting to listen to your songs for so long!” you whine.
“I said maybe. When the right time comes.”
You don’t really get what he means with it.
For a while, you just sit there and watch Jungkook. He looks so carefree and relaxed; he moves around the kitchen as if it’s his own house. He knows where everything is in the cabinets. In a way, this really is his second house considering how often he comes… even when he used to come just to fuck during these past months. It feels so nice to see him not being all tensed up and uncomfortable around you anymore. He even starts to sing quietly, his voice as sweet and smooth as cotton candy filling up the entire house.  You’re one of the few people that Jungkook feels confident enough to sing around. It’s almost a privilege.
You have been staring at him unceremoniously for so long that Jungkook frowns and looks back at you, frowning. “What?”
“Nothing.” You shake your head. “It’s just that… Namjoon is right. You could’ve been famous with this voice.” Jungkook smiles shyly. “And this face.” He turns around to open the fridge. “And this ass.”
He frowns. “Seriously?”
“What? I’m being honest. And don’t act like you don’t stare at my ass all the time.”
Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head in that way that means I can’t stand you.
“Done.” He claps his hands together. Four giant sandwiches, coke, popcorn and m&ms (let’s say that you and Seulgi don’t have exactly the healthier type of food at home). 
“Okay. I’ll take these, get changed first if you want,” you say while taking the plates to the living room. Of course there would be some of his clothes at your place.
When Jungkook sees the clothes you chose, he stares at you with an outraged expression. “My grey hoodie!”
“…yes.”
“You said you didn’t know where it was!”
You stop and click your tongue. “…funny how I found it at the bottom of my drawer tonight, huh?”
He knows you’re lying. But you won’t tell him that slept wearing his hoodie some nights because it smelled like him. He doesn’t need to know this.
“Hoodie thief.” He says and taps your head jokingly, making his way to the bathroom. You’re wearing sleeping clothes as well - and you made sure to choose your ugliest and largest ones. You don’t want Jungkook to think you asked him to sleep here just to end up having sex. 
He comes back and throws himself on the mattress by your side. You’re very aware of the immense space between you; another person could fit in here. “What are we going to watch?”
“I think I’ve watched the entire Netflix catalogue at this point because of Seulgi.” you admit, shoving popcorn inside your mouth. Jungkook takes your phone and scrolls down the Netflix page. 
“There’s always something more to watch.”
You end up arguing about what movie to watch. Actually, you spend more time arguing and scrolling down through the Netflix endless catalogue than watching something. 
You don’t touch each other not even once. The physical distance almost feels like a living being.
You end up giving up on Netflix and watching Avengers Endgame for the hundredth time anyway.
And yes - Jungkook cries at the ending of the film.
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You wake up with the sunlight touching your face.
It’s awful. You close your eyes tightly and yawn, a little bit confused at first. What am I doing in the living room? You search for your phone to check the hour: it’s seven in the morning. Shit. Whenever you can sleep until late hours, you end up waking up early…
You turn your head to the side and freeze.
It’s Jungkook.
Now you remember everything. The TV is still on, which means both of you fell asleep while watching it. The empty plates and glasses are placed over the coffee table. 
You never slept together before.
There was only one time when it happened - the first and only, when you two got wasted and the whole story started. Other than that, you never slept together. First, because you had more interesting things to do other than sleep. Second, because sleeping together feels way too intimate. It didn’t matter how tired you were after fucking, when you finished cleaning up, you’d both put your clothes back on and walk back to your respective homes. You vehemently avoided doing anything that might feel too intimate - kissing, sleeping together… after a while, you even avoided looking at each other right in the eye while having sex. 
You’re not touching; there is still a great space between your bodies. Yet… just the thought that you slept with Jungkook makes your heart race.
You don’t move a single centimeter. You just lay there and… look at him.
His long hair is a mess. His face is adorably puffy, lips slightly parted. He looks peaceful. The way his chest moves up and down as he breathes is hypnotizing. 
He’s seriously so beautiful.
But now, you don’t think of it in a sexual way. Back then, you’d always admire how hot Jungkook is, his godlike physique, how lucky you were to be having sex with a guy like him… not now. You just feel mesmerized by his features. The long eyelashes touching his cheeks. The tiny moles on his face and neck. Some old acne scars. 
It’s odd, but right now, you realize just how much you’ve been missing him. It doesn’t make sense - Jungkook is right here, barely an arm apart from you. You made up last night and it seems that everything is back to normal. Still, you desperately miss him. 
Your chest fills up with something strange and unknown. It’s sweet and painful. It makes your heart feel tight, your nerves feel like burning and your eyes well up with tears. 
This is the face of the person that has been with you during most of your life. 
He’s a part of you.
The most important part of you.
In this moment, your feelings for him are so great that it seems that they can’t even fit inside of you anymore.
You watch him sleep for a long time, too scared to move and wake him up. But eventually, he sighs heavily and moves his head, indicating he’s about to wake up.
His eyes finally open and he yawns.
“Good morning.” He says when his eyes focus on you, smiling softly. Jungkook’s voice sounds deep and raspy. He stretches his arms over his head. “I mean… if it’s still morning.”
“It is,” you say softly.
He stares at the ceiling with heavy-lidded eyes. “I dreamed that babies came from eggs. Like ostrich eggs.” He chuckles. “And women gave birth to the eggs like chickens.”
You don’t say anything and just keep watching him instead.
Jungkook finally turns his head at you and frowns, still smiling softly. “What?”
“Nothing.” You say so quietly that he can barely hear.
He gazes back at you.
Slowly, the smile on his lips disappears.
You feel the tension building up around you - but this time it feels different. It’s not a bad tension like what you experienced last night at the terrace, nor is it dense like when you two were aroused and desperate to find a place and please yourselves. This time, it feels delicate but heavy nevertheless. It makes your blood boil and your heart race.
Jungkook’s eyes are serious, heavy and intense over you. All the playfulness is gone. None of you say a word. You don’t even know if you have the power to move considering how heavy the tension is.
He extends his arm and his fingertips touch your cheek. Your skin feels burning hot. Delicately, he puts a strand of hair behind your ear. It’s strange how he’s doing the exact same thing Taehyung did, but with Jungkook, this simple touch made you feel like exploding right there. 
Jungkook is the one to come closer. Closer and closer and closer. Your breathing is heavy. He caresses your cheek his his thumb. Soon, his face is right in front of yours - noses touching, eyes locked and burning with something you can’t quite name.
You stare at each other like this for a moment until his gaze finally drops to your mouth.
You both lean in for the kiss at the same time.
You have already tasted these lips multiple times before - but now, it’s different. The kiss is slow; you move your lips unhurriedly and sweetly. Yet, this kiss feels much more intense than any other you have shared before. None of those times when you kissed him desperately with luxury being the only thing on your mind comes even close to the intensity of this kiss.
It almost feels that this is the actual first time you kiss Jungkook.
Your breathing gets even heavier as the kiss deepens. His hand rests on your waist, while yours hold his neck. The sloppy sounds of your lips and tongues moving together are the only audible thing in the apartment. Your whole being screams in excitement and anticipation when Jungkook moves his body to hover over yours, not even once breaking the kiss. Your right hand grabs his smooth hair while the other travels up and down his back; your body is getting burning hot. Jungkook moans very softly. You start to feel the familiar wetness on your panties.
Jungkook leans away for a moment; his lips are red and swollen, his hair is even messier now, his dark eyes are clouded with want and something you can’t name - something so strong that he’s able to make you shiver with that look alone. He leans down again and starts to kiss and suck your neck very slowly, making soft moans escape through your lips. His hand sneaks under your baggy shirt and he squeezes your breast. Soon, his lips are on yours again and the kiss becomes much deeper. You can already feel sweat forming on your forehead. Jungkook starts to grind on you; you can clearly feel his clothed erection rub against your own core, what makes more and more strangled moans come from both of you.
This is the hottest make out session of your life. The entire atmosphere is not what you’re used to; it’s not playful, none of you say a word. No teasing, no dirty talk. All you do is try to touch each other the best you can, never once breaking the kiss. It’s as if, with this kiss, you’re having a conversation… you’re telling each other everything you’re not brave enough to say out loud.
Soon, the desperation becomes too big. There’s no time to play, you just want to have him inside of you and feel his warm skin against yours. Unceremoniously, you start to undress yourselves, kissing every spot you can find in the process - neck, chest, stomach. Your clothes are thrown around the living room. You lay on your back again and Jungkook hovers above you once more, your legs entangling around his hips as he positions his hard member on your entrance.
You always avoided this position because it is too intimate; you’re forced to look at each other like this. This time, though, it doesn’t matter. You want to look at him - and the sight of his face contorting in pure pleasure, lips parted and eyes closed tightly as he eases himself inside of you, is almost as good as the feeling of being stretched after a long time.
Jungkook doesn’t move at first. He knows he’ll hurt you if he goes too hard right from the beginning. Instead, he waits until you call his name quietly in a strangled moan - the sign he needs to start thrusting. He rests his head on your shoulder and grabs the pillow under your head tightly as he picks up his pace, slow and steady, soft groans coming from the back of his throat that make you feel goosebumps. You hold his back with both hands. You can’t shut the moans anymore.
Sweat makes your skin slippery as he thrusts faster. Jungkook licks and bites your ear, moaning right into it, and it feels that this alone could make you cum. He then leans away for a moment, creating some space between your bodies to have a better angle to keep smashing himself into you - faster and faster, stronger and stronger. The usual sound of skin hitting skin, heavy breathing and moans is all you can hear. 
You said that you didn’t ask him to sleep here just to have sex - and you weren’t lying.
But this doesn’t feel like just sex.
This isn’t fucking.
The pleasure is getting unsustainable and you both feel it. You close your legs around him even tighter and pull his face with both hands, sealing your lips in another intense, desperate kiss. It’s sloppy and unsynchronized. It’s raw and rough and so full of emotions you can’t comprehend that you feel your eyes tearing up again.
What you’re experiencing right now isn’t just two people finding pleasure in each other. It isn’t simply carnal instinct. 
It is the deepest and most sincere way to connect with another being - without any words, through touches only.
You never felt anything like this in your life - not with Mike or any of your past boyfriends and hook ups. This is beyond lust. This is beyond sex.
Jungkook breaks the kiss apart for a second  to look at you. Your gazes lock. God, he’s beautiful. Not only his appearance, but everything about him is beautiful.
And it is right now - stating deep into his eyes - that you come to a conclusion.
Jungkook has always been a part of you. But, in this exact moment, it feels like more.
It feels that you two became one.
He leans down and kisses you again. Your lips are tightly sealed when you both come at the same time.
Your trembling fingers still hold the strands of his damp hair tightly. You caress his face softly, putting some hair away from his eyes. Jungkook kisses you again. And again, and again, and again, and again.
You’re glad when he rests his head on your shoulder again, because like this, he can’t see the tears trickling down your temples.
It’s still hard to understand what just happened. Honestly, you think you’ll never fully understand.
But one thing you do understand, one thing that became as clear as the morning sky, is that your feelings for Jungkook are deeper and stronger than you ever imagined. He’s so much more than a friend.
Yet, you don’t know if he sees you the same way.
You don’t know if he felt the same things you did or if this was just one more time having sex with you. You don’t know if he still has feelings for Yeri or if he’s developing any for Joy.
You know nothing - and this fact makes your heart hurt as if it is being stabbed…
Because Jungkook, the best and most important part of you, might never be truly yours.
1K notes · View notes
fmdjace · 3 years
Text
◤you'll never know if left is right
❝ i'm more than just a debris
solo related to fmdbaseonline1.4 date: sometime early may song choice: astroboy word count: 1,108 notes: jihoon explains what his top 10 things he can’t live without
it was a weird thing to be asked, but jihoon didn’t say no to it. he didn’t have the option to. that was why he was currently sat in one of dimensions’s nicer rooms and ready to film. he brought a few things with him. afterall, the video was about what he couldn’t live without.
within a few more minutes, the camera’s were rolling and jihoon was tapping his fingers on the table top. “hello, you;re currently with jace from quantum and i will be telling you my 10 things i can’t live without.” he explains, already reaching over to one of the staff members that were passing his phone.
“i think it’s pretty obvious, my phone.“ he waves it back and forth a few times. “it’s a white, iphone 11 pro. with a very, very broken screen.“ he tries not to laugh when he turns it around, screen probably far beyond use, but he makes it work “i’ll probably soon be getting a new ones, but this one really just gets the job done, and its a bit sentimental.“ he explains, not that many people probably cared. “i also can’t live without headphone, earplugs? i really like the apple ones, i have way too many of them because they constantly go missing, my bank account isn’t the happiest about it.“ jihoon laughs, reaching to run his hand through his hair a tad nervously.
“i really, really like coffee, its the only drink i tend to have other than water, so i use a french press most of the time.“ the staff had one laying around, soon given to him. it wasn’t his own, his one was way bigger than this one, but it got the point across “i always wanted to buy a coffee machine, but its more fun this way. comes out just the way i like it.“ it wasn’t as fun as he thought it would be. jihoon was never the type to talk about himself, or be this open about what he liked or enjoyed, it was definitely out of his comfort zone.
“next on the list is a notebook and followed by a pen, i like to just... doodle really, keep track of tasks and stuff, so having one in literally every possible backpack is a must for me. its easier to see it, writing it down gives it a better feeling than if i had it on my phone. i like to journal quite a bit as well.“ he waves around a baby blue notebook with a black pen attacked to its cover as he speaks, there really wasn’t much to it when you thought about it. that was halfway down the lift, the singer had to eye over at the table with his belongings to figure out what was next.
“oh, this one is easy and very big.“ he says, patting some space on the table for a imac to be put on it. “so like, this plays two very big parts for me.“ jace explains, placing his hand on the computer, looking it up and down quickly “i use it to mainly play both video games. its really nice that companies started making video games for mac, because back in the day, it wasn’t so easy. so im really glad to see that things have been improving and this bad boy has been serving me well.“ as soon as he finishes, the tech is taken away, only to be replaced by his switch, another laugh leaving jihoon as he shakes his head.
“if you guys don’t have one, i recommend it so so much. worth every pence.“ he pats it a few times. “its great for single players, for parties, in the car- anywhere, its been my to go console since it came out.“ this one was a quick one, but he had already lost count of how many things he had said. yet, the materials didn’t stop coming.
his wallet is passed next “please make sure to blur out my cards, that won’t be a funny thing to post on the internet.” jihoon laughs, opening the leather wallet and going through it “it has the usual stuff, credit cards, driving license, id-” he pauses for a second, pulling out a golden card, smile pulling on his lips out of pure surprise “i have greggs card in here, from when i was back home a few years ago.” by a few years, jihoon means since he came to seoul, 2014. he shows the golden card, a bit chipped and what not “gets you free pastries at greggs. definitely worth it.”
“oh yes, yorkshire tea. did you take this out of my cupboard?“ this was probably the most exciting thing he was given so far. the birtish in him just had butterflies “this is the best black tea you will ever have. top notch. add the bag, pour the boiling hot water in, let it sit for a while, pull it up and sqeeuze it on the side, add you splash of milk, two spoons of sugar and you’re done. best drink ever, seriously. you’re missing out-“ he heard a few giggles from the staff, probably having to do with how excited he got from some tea. it wasn’t everyday someone went out of their way to do this, and even if they didn’t, jihoon was stealing this box with him. “i’m taking this with me when i leave, i can right?“ he smiles widely, eyes moving around the room, bouncing from staff to staff.
it took him a few seconds to go over the things he had gotten to talk about, figuring out this was the last one, and the idol really hoped he was right. he leaned back into his chair waiting for the final product to come in. when a small tube of hand cream was set in front of him, a wide grin pulled on his lips “you got me my favorite lime one?” jihoon asks, brows raised as he watches his manager from across the room, reaching over to take the cream and pop the lid off, putting some on his hand and smelling it. “best hand cream ever, really, smalls absolutely amazing and its not sticky. very hydrating, don’t need much of it.” he explains as he was already spreading the cream over his hands, taking a deep breath of the fresh lime that scented the air.
“this was a good list i made, i might do it again next year, see if my priorities have changed.” jihoon jokes, smile wide on his lips as he hears a few more chuckles from behind the camera.
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taegis-gf · 4 years
Text
Forbidden - Part 2
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Dealer!yoongi x Reader
Warnings ➜ smut, oral (m receiving), non-protected sex, tiny bit of angst
Summary ➜ You never meant to lock eyes with the beautiful stranger at Namjoon’s house party, you also didn’t mean to completely fall for him, knowing exactly how dangerous it was.
Word Count ➜ 7.6K
Part 1 here!
NB: if drug-taking in fics isn’t for you/or makes you uncomfortable, also reader is literally getting with a drug dealer so if any of this isn't for you  - please don’t read!
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The next morning you wake up with a killer headache and a dry mouth.
You turned to your right and saw a passed-out Taehyung lying next to you. Your eyes widened as you quickly tried to recall last night’s events.
After your phone call with Yoongi you had gone back downstairs and partied. Hard.
You remembered at about 5am you were too tired and Jin had announced you could sleep in any of the bedrooms, Taehyung had followed you to talk but you both had just ended up passing out.
You smiled, remembering Taehyung had been concerned with no ulterior motives, you two were just talking complete nonsense however for about an hour before you both had just fallen asleep.
You reached out to the bedside table, where you had left your phone and checked the time.
10AM it had read, only 4ish hours of sleep? Why the hell were you awake?
You saw you had a message from Yoongi, but you were pretty sure you needed a few more hours of sleep if you wanted to text back anything that made actual sense.
You did, however, make the valiant effort of plugging your phone into a charger before passing out again.
When you woke up again you didn’t know how much time had passed.
You reached out for your phone again to see it read 1PM, Taehyung was still miraculously passed out beside you. 
You took a minute to examine his features, how the fuck did anyone deserve to be that beautiful? Especially after a night of partying? Jackass, you thought before sticking an elbow into his side.
“Tae,” you called out in a singsong tone. “Tae wake up.”
You earned a small groan from him and knew you were getting somewhere.
“Taeeeeeeee,” You called again. 
You rolled over onto him, straddling his hips and leaning into him.
“Tae wake up!”
Semi awake - you knew this because he had consciously grabbed your hips to keep you in place – he groaned again, probably unaware of who you even were.
“Wake up you loser!” You said, cupping his cheeks and shaking his head side to side a little.
“M’awake.” He replied, his grip on your hips tightening when he finally realised who you were.
He smiled, his eyes still closed.
“Hm, I always have dreams of waking up with you on top of me like this.” He murmured.
“Never thought it would happen though.” He said as he slowly opened his eyes.
You were 100% sure you’ve probably never looked worse but Taehyung only smiled wider when he saw your face.
“I was just trying to wake you up…” You trailed off, suddenly very aware of how your crotch was literally sitting on his.
You rolled off him, leaving him to fully wake up, pulling your phone off the charger.
You remembered the message from Yoongi, unlocking your phone. A smile crossed your face as you remembered the events from last night.
9:39AM
Yoongi: hey, text me when ur awake 
You grinned even harder, typing your reply.
1:13PM
You: hey sorry my lazy ass is only awake now, i stayed in Jins, let me call you when im home and showered T_T
“God, you must have it bad.” Taehyung said from beside you.
You glared at him “I don’t know what you're talking about.” You replied.
“Well if how hard your smiling at your phone is anything to go by, you must clearly have it bad for somebody.” He said.
You rolled your eyes at him.
“I’m going back to my dorm.” You said, standing up, feeling a little dizzy.
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you.” He said, winking.
You mimicked gagging as you threw your shoes on and fled Jin’s house.
*
As you stepped out of the warmth of the shower and wrapped a towel around your hair, you threw on a long t-shirt and got settled into your bed.
You pulled out your phone and opened up your recents, hitting Yoongi’s name, you watched it as it began ringing.
You became a little nervous, your mind thinking back to everything that had gone on last night.
You put the phone up to ear listening to the sounds as you closed your eyes letting out a heavy sigh of exhaustion.
They sprung back open as soon as you heard the “Hello?” from the other side of the line.
“Hey.” Was all you could manage, your anxiety sky rocketing.
“Hey,” Yoongi replied. “So how bad is your hangover?” He asked.
You laughed and scoffed. “Leave me alone! I am currently dying and in serious need of unhealthy food.”
“Maybe I can help with that?” He asked, a hint of uncertainty in his voice like you were going to tell him no.
“What do you mean?” You asked, a smile on your face.
“I can pick up anything you want, bring it to you. We can talk.” He said.
“Oh yes please that sounds amazing!” You said, glee overwhelming you.
“Okay text me what you want and your address.” 
And with that the conversation ended, you quickly jumped up to dry your hair and put on a pair of shorts.
When there was a knock on the door you leapt up, heart about to beat right through your chest.
You opened it up with a smile and Yoongi smiled back holding up food in one hand. You grabbed his hand and pulled him in.
Your dorm room was small so you didn’t really have any other choice but to sit down on your bed and pat the space beside you.
“Here is the chicken strips your majesty ordered.” He said, sitting beside you.
“Thank you so much, you have no idea how hungry I am.” You opened up the bag getting stuck in like some depraved animal.
“I didn’t know you lived in a dorm,” He said, gazing around your room.
“Yeah,” you said, munching on fries, you swallowed and began again. “I’m in my 3rd year.” 
“Wow, I don’t know…I pictured you to live in some ridiculous mansion like the rest of them do.” He said with a shrug of his shoulders.
“No, believe it or not, I am in no way rich, far from it actually, I met them because my mom used to clean Namjoon’s house actually, she used to bring me along. That’s how we all met.”
You weren’t ashamed that you had significantly less money than your friends, far from it actually, your mom was a single mother who did her best for you.
“Oh really? That’s actually quite surprising.” Yoongi said, his eyes skimming over your face, meeting your eyes.
“I’m not ashamed! Those rich dicks help me a lot actually, they’ve definitely made sure I didn’t I go hungry or anything, they treat me well, I’m super thankful.” You said, taking another bite of your food, it was going down a treat.
“Thank you for the food, I have some money in my coat pocket-“ You made a move to stand.
“Please, it’s on me.” Yoongi said, putting a hand on your arm to stop you getting up.
You laughed. “I probably just made it sound like I’m some sort of charity case.”
Yoongi shook his head, “Not at all, I just wanted to do something nice.” 
You looked up at him again, his dark hair was falling into his eyes a little and you couldn't stop yourself thinking about how beautiful the man in front of you was, even if he did look a little serious at the moment.
“Listen,” he began, “about last night, I hope you don’t regret it.” He said, he wasn’t looking at you anymore.
You put the rest of your food to the side, wanting to move closer to him.
“Of course I don’t.” You reassured him. “Do you?” You asked.
Yoongi looked at you once again, “No.” 
“See? We both don’t regret anything. I’m glad.” You said, resting a hand on his thigh.
“I want to talk though,” He started, his eyes focused on where your hand was. “I know it’s no secret. What my job is.”
It was your turn to listen to his story and you did, you nodded, letting him continue.
“I know what I said to you the first night we met, and I won’t lie, I still feel like that a little, I’m a first-class scumbag, right? I mean what else kind of person deals drugs.”
He said, scoffing at himself.
He kept going, he clearly wanted to get everything out on the table.
“I never wanted this, my dad’s side of the family are all like this, my mom ran off, I guess she was afraid of him, but she didn’t take me with her. I grew up with this and I never wanted to do his dirty work for him. I tried to fight him on it but what can I do? He wouldn’t let me leave. I know I’m a bad person, I try so hard not to be, I only sell to people I can trust, no addicts, no one underage, just mainly rich kids who want to party, ya know? I know that doesn’t make it any better…”
You could tell he was struggling to get this out, but it needed to be done.
“My dad’s a hardass, he doesn’t even do any of the dirty work though, just sits on his throne all day keeping his hands clean. He threw me into this, his own son, said he wanted me to get a taste of what it was like out there, he said I won't have to do it for long but I needed some toughening up as he put it.”
You were listening intently, afraid to speak. Him saying this made it all so real.
You knew what he was doing was wrong, but the fact that he was basically being forced to do it made your heart ache, he didn’t ask to be born into that life and running away from home when your father was that kind of man…it wasn’t an option either you guessed.
“I’m not making excuses, really I’m not, I just... I like you a lot and there is no way I can take this any further without you knowing all this. I understand if you don’t want to see me again.” He said. 
You looked at him, he was still looking down unable to meet your eyes, was he really that ashamed?
A part of you wanted to tell him you didn’t want to see him again, to not let yourself get into this sort of situation, but something about him was so damn infatuating, you wanted to keep seeing him, get to know him, his hobbies, his hopes and dreams. You wanted all of him.
It had been a while since he spoke and you realised you hadn’t even replied to him, too caught up in your own thoughts.
“Look I get it, I’ll just go.” And as he made a move to stand you hastily grabbed at his wrist.
“No please don’t go Yoongi. Please. This was just a lot to process, I’m sorry. But I definitely don’t want you to walk away.” You said giving him a -what you hoped looked- reassuring smile.
Yoongi smiled back but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“I know it’s a lot, that’s why I don’t date, or get involved with girl’s at all for that matter. But then I saw you at Namjoon’s party…I couldn’t believe how beautiful you were, I’ve never felt like that before seeing someone for the first time.”
Your heart swelled.
“I thought the same about you, I mean I tried to flirt from the damn bathroom.” You said, laughing a little.
“I know,” Yoongi replied, laughing a little too as he recalled the memory. “I said that cheesy line as well, I felt like a damn moron for that.”
You laughed harder. “Don’t worry, I liked it.”
“You were drunk!” 
“I wasn’t that drunk…well actually…” You trailed off as you recalled.
You both were laughing hard now. 
You couldn’t believe how natural this all felt, being like this with him. 
And that’s how the rest of your afternoon with him went, just talking about anything and everything, you were getting to know each other and it felt amazing.
So when he announced he had to go you had pouted and he gave you a quick kiss on your pout and promised to call you.
*
You were sitting with Jungkook in your local coffee shop, both stressing about assignments, but avoiding them like the idiots you were.
“This has got to be the worst week of my life, I feel like I’ve been hungover for about 5 days and this essay is due in 2 days, how do they expect me to write five thousand words whilst trying to party? I go to college to party, not to work.” Jungkook was moaning, you weren’t really listening to him, you rolled your eyes.
“Jungkook you’re gonna flunk out if you don’t start doing some work.” You said sighing.
“They can’t flunk me,” he began with a cocky smirk, “When your dad’s on the board there are some perks, for example, doing the bare minimum and getting away with it.” 
You scoffed at him, hitting his shoulder.
“And where is that attitude going to take you in life? Hmm?” You were tired of dealing with his rich boy antics.
“I don’t know, hopefully surrounded by some good pussy and parties 24/7.” 
You were pretty sure if you rolled your eyes any harder they were going to fall out of your head.
“Well, unlike you, I have to actually put some effort in, I’m going to the library, it’s due on Monday.” As you got up Jungkook stood with you.
“I’ll walk you over.” He offered and you didn’t decline.
As you walked across the grass, Jungkook had his hands in his pockets.
“So does that mean you’re not going to the party tomorrow?” He asked.
You shook your head a firm no, that was the last thing on earth you needed to be doing.
“Awh no fun, I hate it when you’re not there.” He said and you gave him the side-eye.
“What are you talking about? We barely speak at parties, you're always too busy trying to get laid by the first brunette that walks through the door.” You stated.
“Oh come on! Not fair. Me and you know how to have a good time, you’re the only person I can count on to get as fucked up as me.” He said, smiling at you.
You hit his shoulder again. “Why are you so proud? Us embarrassing ourselves isn’t cute.”
“It is so.” He retorted.
You just shook your head, walking in silence until you were back on campus.
“Hey look… isn’t that Min Yoongi?” Jungkook asked, nodding his head in the direction he was in.
You shot your head up immediately, Jungkook was right, Yoongi was there. Standing in front of what you could only assume was his car, it was sleek, black and look like it cost more than a house. 
You looked away, turning to Jungkook. “How do you know who he is?”
“A lot of people on campus know who he is, he’s infamous, you know he used to go here? He dropped out, turned into… ya know…a drug dealer.” Jungkook said lowering his voice. 
“He refuses to sell to me. I’m pretty sure he’s Jin’s dealers though, I see him around sometimes.”
You widened your eyes in surprise, smacking Jungkook on the shoulder for what had to be the 15th time today.
“Ouch! What did I do now?” He said, faking hurt.
“You tried to buy from him? What are you, some sort of idiot?” You scolded.
“He’s a cool guy Y/N, I’ve heard the rumours about him selling to only a select few, but I thought I’d chance my arm anyway, see if he was down, he most definitely was not.” Jungkook said, laughing at the obviously funny memory.
“Jesus Christ Jungkook, you really are shameless.” You stated, distracted.
Yoongi had spotted you, he wasn’t making it obvious but he stole a few looks your way.
“Is he…looking at you Y/N?” Jungkook said, suddenly aware of the situation.
You immediately turned bright red.
“Oh my god, he is!” Jungkook half-shouted. 
“Jungkook oh my god, shut up!” You said back at him, suddenly irritated at his childishness, if anyone were to find out about you and Yoongi – well let’s just say Jungkook would’ve been dead last on your list.
“I can’t believe this…wait, how do you even know him?” He asked, he stopped walking and suddenly turned to you, going into full blown interrogation mode.
“I don’t! Well not really, I just talked to him at Namjoon’s party once, I didn’t even know who he was.” You said, it technically wasn’t a lie, you just couldn’t let Jungkook know it had went so much further than that.
“Jesus…” Jungkook breathed out, he was clearly in deep thought.
“Please stop making it sound like such a bad thing Jungkook, it isn’t that deep!”
“He’s a fucking dealer Y/N, do you know how dangerous that makes him!?” He shot back, clearly worried for you, it would be almost endearing if you hadn’t felt such a strong need to defend Yoongi.
“You know he doesn’t even want that life? His dad forced him into it, he didn’t have a choice in the matter…” You trailed off, hoping Jungkook would be reasonable.
“How well do you know him really? I’m sure that makes it seem like it’s all okay Y/N, but it doesn’t.” He wasn’t budging on his opinion.
You wanted to fight him on this, but honestly, how could you?
“You didn’t...get with him…did you?” Jungkook asked, seeing how worked up you were getting up over the situation.
“Jungkook, I swear to god, if you don’t stay out of my business, we won’t be friends anymore.” You shoved him out of your way and stormed on, you heard him call your name but you ignored him.
As you were walking it suddenly hit you, Yoongi had just witnessed your whole confrontation, he hadn’t been close enough to hear but anybody with two eyes could clearly see you and Jungkook had been arguing.
You didn’t look over at Yoongi, you put your head down and powerwalked all the way to your dorm.
As you closed your door you threw your bag on the floor in anger. Who the fuck did Jungkook think he was? He wasn’t in charge of your life you were a grown woman.
You began shedding clothes, suddenly feeling too hot, you were getting far too worked up, ready to burst into tears.
Your phone was buzzing incessantly in your back pocket and you finally took it out, looking to see who it was;
Notifications:
JK: iMessage(s) (8)
Yoongi: iMessage(s) (2)
You sighed and threw your phone on the bed, you couldn’t bring yourself to read any of them, your head was hurting and you just wanted to crawl into your bed.
So you did. 
It was only 2pm, but a nap couldn’t hurt, your problems would still be there when you woke up, but you could avoid them for a few hours.
*
When you woke up, it was due to the sound of your phone vibrating once again, you didn’t know how long it had been doing that exactly, but the fact it had been seeping into your dream, you figured it had been a while.
You picked it up from beside you and squinted at the bright light in your face.
Incoming call: JK
You hastily declined the call and when you did you saw the notifications on your home screen.
Notifications:
JK: iMessage(s) (14)
Missed calls (6)
Yoongi: iMessage(s) (5)
Missed Calls (2)
You groaned at the time, you’d been asleep for about 2 hours, but Jungkook obviously had a lot to say to you, you knew he had been saying everything to you out of his love for you, that he didn’t mean to be mean or hurtful. Heck, you knew what kind of situation you were in and damn you and Yoongi had beat that horse to death the first time he had came over to your dorm, you were taking it slow, unaware of where you two wanted to take this, but you both knew how badly you’d wanted to keep seeing each other.
You took a deep breath and unlocked your phone, staring at the messages Jungkook had left first.
2:07PM
JK: Y/N I’m sorry about how that went down, we need to talk
JK: Please don’t ignore me, I know I annoyed you
JK: I know I didn’t even take the time to really hear you out
JK: You know how much I care about you
JK: How could I stand by and let you just do something like that?
JK: Wht kind of friend would that make me?
JK: please please don’t shut me out
JK: I love you so much don’t be mad at me :(
3:13PM
JK: I promise I wont say anything to anyone
JK: I do think you should tell Jin though
3:56PM
JK: Y/N please pick up the phone
JK: Im going fucking crazy sitting here
JK: I just need to know you don’t hate me :(
JK: ik Im being a stalker here, but just one word to reassure me you’ll talk to me again is all I need :( ur my best friend
You sighed heavily as you scrolled through his texts, he was obviously annoyed at himself and clearly demented at the thought you may never speak to him again.
You put your anger aside to type one quick reply.
4:04PM
You: I don’t hate you, I just don’t know how to talk about this with you yet, give me time.
He typed a reply right away.
JK: okay !! I understand im so glad you replied i love u tho
You really needed to set things straight with Jungkook but you knew you both needed to speak to each other in person, you would in due time.
As you took another heavy sigh you clicked over to yours and Yoongi’s text conversation.
2:04PM
Yoongi: Hey is everything okay with you and your friend (jungkook I think, im not sure…) 
Yoongi: I wanted to come say hi but things look a little heated, do you wnt me to come over?
3:45PM
Yoongi: im sure youre busy I don’t want to be that person who worries over not getting a reply, but I really do hope ur ok…
Yoongi: ive tried calling u sorry if that’s annoying lol, let me know ur okay?
Yoongi obviously didn’t realise your argument with Jungkook had been over him, so how could he know you couldn’t even tell him what you two had been arguing about, you didn’t want to lie to him he clearly seemed to care, but you thought the truth would be more damaging than good as you began to type back.
4:07PM
You: hey im sorry! Ur not annoying i just accidentally fell asleep, sorry if i left you to worry about me although it is very cute tho,,,, me and jungkook were just talking about one of my close girlfriends, he said something about wanting to fuck her and i got angry…it’s the norm with me and him, nothing to worry abt 😙
You read over what you typed about 5 times, hoping it was believable, you pressed send. 
You lay in your bed waiting for ten minutes before you got a reply.
4:19PM
Yoongi: it didn’t look like nothing,,,my offer to come and see u still stands ya know… im still about campus 
Your heart felt heavy. 
You thought about how much you wanted to see him, and you knew that even though Jungkook was right he was also so very wrong.
4:21PM
You: yeah i would actually really like that…you remember where i am don’t u?
After about 10 minutes you heard a knock on your door and you bounced up from your bed, you probably looked a hot mess but you didn’t care, you just felt giddy at the thought of seeing Yoongi.
You pulled open the door and were practically beaming at him.
“Hi.” You said.
“Hi yourself.” He replied as he walked in, you took a step back still watching him as he closed the door behind him.
You were still awe of how effortlessy beautiful he was, the dainty silver chain around his neck, his hair was getting a little too long but the way it was falling into his eyes made him even more beautiful.
“What is it?” He asked a small laugh escaping him, clearly confused by your staring.
“Nothing really…I just think you’re cute.” Your eyes widened after you finished speaking, that sounded a whole lot better in your head.
Yoongi let out an amused scoff.
“You think I’m cute?” He retorted.
He took a step towards you and you felt your heart rate began to go a lot faster.
“Well…I d-,” He was getting closer. “I don’t know – it just slipped out.” You said.
“It just slipped out?” He repeated.
You had never felt more flustered in your life and it only got worse as he finally got close enough to rest his hands on your hips and pull you close to him.
“Do you…wanna watch a movie or something?” You asked, god he really was fucking you up.
“No.” Was all Yoongi said before he leaned in and kissed you.
You welcomed his kiss immediately, leaning into his touch and wrapping your hands around his neck, teasing the ends of his hair with the tips of your fingers.
You slowly began incoporating your tongue into the kiss and let out a pleased moan when Yoongi began lightly sucking on it.
“You make the prettiest noises…” He said breathily between your kisses.
“Hmmm.” Was all you responded.
“Even better hearing them in person rather than over the phone.” He stated.
You froze a little feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment at the memory of Yoongi talking you through your orgasm over the phone.
“I must’ve jerked off to the memory of that about a million times, god it was so fucking hot,” You were staring wide eyes at him, you could feel the familiar heat growing between your legs.
“R-really?” Was all you could mutter as Yoongi began kissing your neck his hands reaching round to grab at your ass.
“Are you kidding me? Of course, you sounded amazing baby, you did so well for me.”
Fuck.
You could feel yourself getting more flustered by the second, all you could think to do was to kiss him again.
As you both grew more heated you let Yoongi guide over to your bed and your stomach was doing flips in anticipation.
You let him lie down and crawled over on top of him straddling his hips.
You pulled off your top leaving you in your bra and Yoongi just stared at your chest.
His hands reaching up he moved round to unhook your bra.
You shuddered at his touch and slender fingers getting to work and when he finally let your bra slide off your shoulders his hands reached up to palm at your breasts and you let out a small moan when he teased your nipple with his fingers.
“You’re beautiful.” He murmured.
You could feel him under you, growing hard and heavy.
You began grinding down allowing you both to have some friction.
“Fuck, I could come like this.” You moaned, grinding down on him harder.
Yoongi was smirking, “Yeah why don’t you try?” He challenged.
You smiled back at him, closing your eyes and throwing your head back, you went to town.
“Fuck, I can feel how big you are Yoongi.”
You swore you felt his cock twitch at that.
“Want you so bad, so fucking bad.” You were talking yourself up now, getting yourself more and more worked up, you were so close.
“Yeah? Show me how bad you want me baby, fucking use me.” Yoongi said while he continued to tease your nipples, he sat up slightly, using his mouth to suck one into his mouth.
“Fuck!” Was all you managed before you came undone, riding yourself on Yoongi through your orgasm.
“You really weren’t lying.” Was all Yoongi could manage before you began moving your body down his.
You pulled his jeans down, revealing the outline of him through his boxers, your mouth watering.
You palmed over him, “You really are big, fuck.” You whispered, almost to yourself.
“You want to suck my dick baby?” He offered.
You nodded like a crazy woman, you wanted him so bad and him asking you something like that only spurred you on.
You pulled his briefs down letting his cock spring free.
“Jesus.” Was all you could say.
Yoongi laughed, clearly amused at your reaction to his dick.
“I mean it’s no Jesus but I appreciate the compliment.” He said.
You laughed, hard. You couldn’t believe you had his dick in your hand and he was making you laugh like an idiot.
“Okay stop or I won’t be able to do a damn thing.” You stated, trying to get your breath back.
“Hm okay sorry I’ll stop.” But his smile still remained as he watched you.
You just smiled as you lowered your head taking him slowly into your mouth.
You wrapped your hand around what you couldn’t put in your mouth, beginning to really get to work.
You heard Yoongi’s breath hitch and let out a small groan at your actions and mentally congratulated yourself.
“Fuck you’re good at that.” He said breathless.
“Hmmm.” You moaned around him.
“Ah fuck baby please.” He said an encouraging hand on your head willing you to take more of him in your mouth.
So you did just that, you took more of him, he hit the back of your throat and as you tried to suppress your gag reflex Yoongi clearly appreciated what you were doing.
He moaned and oh god it is such a sexy noise you wanted to just start touching yourself then and there, you were insatiable.
After a few more minutes your jaw was beginning to ache but you never faltered wanting to finish the job, it’s Yoongi who stops you.
“Babe stop, I don’t wanna come like this. Wanna be inside you.” He stated and you felt yourself suddenly become nervous, looking up at him you could see his fucked out expression and it only turned you on more, you pushed your nerves to the side; you trusted him, and you’d wanted him this way from the moment you set your eyes on him.
“Do you have a condom?” Yoongi asked as you sat up to remove your skirt and underwear.
You turned to him to see him taking his shirt off, only to pause when you remembered you couldn’t even remember the last time you purchased condoms.
“Shit…No actually, I don’t.” You said.
Yoongi looked at you laughing a little in disbelief.
“No it’s okay, I’m clean and I’m on the pill!” You said as you straddled him, you weren’t going to let this ruin your first time with Yoongi.
“I’m clean too, to be honest it’s actually been a while-“
“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” You interrupted him, “you still want to do this then?”
You saw his cock twitch at your teasing and you laughed a little only to gasp in shock as he grabbed you by the hips and all of a sudden you were underneath him.
“Of course I want to do this.” He said into your ear.
“Then do it, fuck me Yoongi, please.” You could hear the neediness in your voice but you didn’t care.
“Should I use my fingers first babe, I can stretch you out first-”
You didn’t even let him finish, too eager. “No, I’ll be okay I think I’m wet enough from already cumming. Please just hurry.”
Yoongi laughed and buried his head into the crook of your neck and let out a groan of frustration before pulling away and looking at you, he gave you a small kiss before muttering something that sounded something like what are you doing to me? But you weren’t sure.
Yoongi lined up at your entrance and you were already so wet the tip slid in with ease.
You let out a small whine as the initial feeling, you couldn’t believe this was finally happening.
“Baby jesus chirst…you are so wet…so tight…fuck you feel amazing.” He said.
You merely nodded in agreement, you didn’t trust yourself to speak, he was all in the way in you now and you had to bite your lip to hold back a scream.
“Please…move…Yoongi.” You managed.
And with that Yoongi started thrusting into you, hard.
You were moaning loudly completely lost in the pleasure.
“Baby you sound so pretty, keep moaning like that, you want me to fuck you harder?” he asked.
He was breathing heavily but when you gave him a small yes he complied, fucking into you at an unbelievable pace, your body started moving a little up the bed but Yoongi grabbed you by the hips to keep you in place.
“Yoongi just like that oh my god just like that.” You moaned.
Yoongi reached his hand down to rub at your clit and you jerked at the bolt of pleasure, it was almost too much. Almost.
“Couldn’t stop thinking about you like this…” Yoongi murmured, “underneath me moaning like this.”
You smiled “Really? Did you get off to the thought of this a lot?” You asked teasingly.
“Fuck more than I care to admit.” He breathed out.
You lifted your arms to wrap them around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.
He was hitting you deeper now and his relentless attack on your clit was only causing you to reach your end quicker, you put your face in the crook of his neck and let out a loud whine.
“Baby, are you close already?” 
Yoongi had slowed now but he was rubbing your clit faster and you could feel your orgasm about to wash over you.
“Yes – fuck – I’m gonna come.” You said.
Yoongi was panting heavy, picking up his pace again, he could feel you clenching around him and you knew he was just as close as you.
“Come for me please baby.” And with a few final strokes of your clit, your orgasm hit you like a train.
You were lost in yourself, lost in your orgasm you took a moment to come back down to earth you put your hands on Yoongi’s shoulders and wrapped your legs around his waist encouraging him to come.
“Baby please come, please fill me up.” You said in your fucked out moan.
And he did, spilling inside you the feeling of him filling you up was so blissful you moaned again.
“Oh fuck,” Yoongi whispered you almost didn’t hear him,  but the way he said those words just confirmed he had enjoyed himself just as much as you had.
When he pulled out of you you were both still breathing heavily, the both of you so fucked out you couldn’t even speak yet, Yoongi rolled over to lay beside you.
After a minute of silence Yoongi finally spoke.
“That was-“
“Amazing.” You finished.
Yoongi laughed, leaning over to kiss you, a small affectionate peck that left you smiling like an idiot.
“Let me get you a cloth.” Yoongi offered, getting off the bed he pulled back on his underwear and walked into your small en-suite.
You could feel Yoongi’s cum seeping out of you and as gross as it was it only caused you to smile knowing what had just happened.
“Here.” Yoongi said, as he walked back out handing you the cloth, it was hot and you appreciated the fact he had taken the time to do that for you, it was sweet.
“Thank you.” You said sitting up to clean yourself.
You climbed off your bed aswell, throwing on Yoongi’s shirt to cover yourself up.
“Looks good on you.” Yoongi said.
You scoffed, “I’m gonna shower I’m sure I look like a mess…give me a minute?”
“Yeah no problem –” Yoongi was muttering as he reached for his phone to check it, after a second he was bouncing up.
“Actually I’m sorry I have to go – god I really don’t want to be that guy that just leaves right after…” He trailed off, his eyes wandering over your body until you realised he was looking at his own shirt on your body.
You nodded trying not to show your upset at the events that were unfolding in front of you.
You hastily reached for your dressing gown to cover up your naked form as you pulled his shirt up over your head.
“Y/N please don’t get quiet on me like that, you do know I care about you and I would not be leaving unless this wasn’t an emergency, right?” He said as he pulled on his shoes and stood up.
He made his way back over to you and took both your hands in his, encouraging you to look up at him.
“I’m sorry, I really am, please don’t be upset, please tell me you understand.”
It took everything in you to nod and give him a small smile.
“I’m fine Yoongi, go, I understand.” You lied.
He took another 10 seconds to further examine your face to make sure you weren’t upset, you were definitely giving him a convincing enough expression.
He gave you a small nod before grabbing his keys and phone giving you a small peck on the lips and leaving out the door.
You let out a huge sigh, you felt tired again.
*
You woke up the next morning feeling groggy and confused, you couldn't even remembering falling asleep again, you took a deep breath as you remembered yesterdays events.
After Yoongi had left you had stood there for a minute before you let the shame wash over you, you felt like you had just been used for a quick fuck, you wanted to believe Yoongi wasn’t like that but it was hard not to when he was already out the door even as his cum was still freshly inside you.
You had showered for a long time, trying to rid yourself of the negative thoughts that were overwhelming you.
Yoongi wasn’t like that, he had shared himself with you, told you details of his private life and in turn, had listened to your story as well, but was this a regular occurrence with him? 
Was the time that you were able to spend together going to be far and few between?
You decided the best thing for you was to simply distract yourself so as you sat on your bed you opened up your laptop to get started on the assignment you had due, you decided to switch off your phone, you knew if you didn’t you would be checking it every 5 minutes waiting on a text from a certain someone.
A few hours passed as you really began getting into your work you figured you’d be able to get it finished by tomorrow, but a sharp knock on your door made you jump out of your skin.
“Y/N open up please.” You heard a muffled voice come from behind the door.
It was Jungkook.
You took a deep breath, you hadn’t been mentally ready to see him for a while, but here he was.
You stood up off your bed, walking to the door you hesitantly opened it just a crack as you peered out to him.
He looked good as usual, black jeans, black cap and that damn black leather jacket.
He immediately looked at you as you poked your head through the gap in the door.
“What do you want Jungkook?” You asked, you really weren’t in the mood to get lectured right now.
“What am I, some stranger? Let me in and we can talk.” He said moving closer to the door.
“Jungkook – I’m really not in the mood right now.” You said.
He pushed the door open anyway his strength no match for you.
“What are you deaf now? I don’t wanna talk Jungkook.” You stood back from him as he closed the door behind him, he really did look huge in your small dorm room.
“Please just let us talk this out, you know I hate fighting with you, the other guys… I will freeze their asses out when they’re mad at me I don’t care…but with you.” Jungkook looked at you with those bigs eyes and you let out a huge sigh, you had a soft spot for him.
“Okay, let’s talk.” You said with a heavy heart, you weren’t ready for the dose of reality Jungkook was going to hit you with.
He took a seat on your bed, your dorm room didn’t even have a desk so everything had to happen on your bed, you cringed a little when you realised you hadn’t even washed your sheets since you and Yoongi had had sex on them.
You took a seat beside him folding your legs up underneath yourself.
“You wanna tell me how this happened?” Jungkook said, you got the vibes he wanted everything out on the table.
“I wasn’t lying yesterday. I met him at Namjoon’s house party the other week. He was there because you all cried in Jin’s face about getting coke.” You said, you were definitely on the defence.
Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows a little, you know he could tell you were going to be snarky about this but he had the patience of a god when it came to you, lord knows you could be difficult.
“Okay…” Jungkook began slowly, “So you two just…what?”
You rolled your eyes. “Jungkook, I saw him at Namjoon’s party I flirted with him even after I found out who he was, I saw him at Jin’s again and he kissed me…he actually was here yesterday…” You didn’t know what else to say, how do you tell your best friend you were fucking a drug dealer, it wasn’t exactly something you just said, but you knew Jungkook was smart enough to already know what you were saying.
“What?! You mean you two have already…” He didn’t need to finish his sentence, he trailed off looking like he was deep in thought.
“Aren’t you moving a little to fast here Y/N? I mean if you only met him at Namjoon’s party then –“ You took second to blink at Jungkook before hitting his shoulder.
“Excuse me?! You fuck the first girl you see at any party within an hour of meeting her and you’re going to lecture me about whoring it out?!” You weren't really that angry more in shock that Jungkook had actually said something like that to you.
Jungkook laughed a little at your reaction “I didn’t mean it that way, I’m sorry I guess it’s just because of who he is…you have to know this is a bad idea right?” He was looking at you a lot more serious now.
You nodded solemnly, “I know Jungkook, fuck, believe me, we both know.”
“But…let me guess, he’s not entirely what I’m picturing? Cause I know damn well you wouldn’t let get this worked up over someone if you didn’t like them a lot.”
Sometimes you forgot how attentive Jungkook was, a lot of your relationship was joking around with each other so when shit got serious you were reminded of the fact that he actually cared about you a lot and that he actually knew you pretty well.
“Yeah, it’s new but…I like him a lot, although I’m not even sure if the feelings are one hundred per cent reciprocated. Maybe it’s just self-deprecation thinking that… I don’t know it’s been so long since I’ve wanted to see someone more than once. I forgot how hard this shit is.” You scoffed out a laugh, you were pretty sure you sounded stupid but you weren’t sure how to talk about this.
“Please, are you kidding me? If the feelings aren’t reciprocated then he is a total dumbass because any guy would be so lucky to have you.” Jungkook said.
You didn’t know where to look, Jungkook speaking like this to you felt foreign.
“I know that was cheesy,” Jungkook laughed a little. “But it’s true, I mean look at Taehyung, he embarrasses himself all the time trying to get you to go out with him.” 
You rolled your eyes.
“All Taehyung wants is a quick hump and dump.”
Jungkook scoffed “Are you kidding me? I’m pretty sure Tae’s been in love with you from the moment he set his eyes on you, remember when he gave you his favourite toy to play with and we all were in shock cause it was the first time we’d seen him share anything.”
You laughed at the memory, but Jungkook had no idea what he was talking about, Taehyung only saw you as a friend and possibly another notch on his belt.
“Listen what I’m trying to say is Y/N, at the end of the day this is your choice obviously but please be careful, please, I can look out for you but I don’t think I stand a chance against a drug lord’s crew if it came down to that.”
You looked at him in shock. “Jungkook don’t say shit like that oh my god! Nothing like that would happen!”
You shivered at the thought for a second, thinking about how you only saw Yoongi and not his world, it probably was as dangerous as Jungkook was imagining.
“I’m sorry okay, I’m just going to be worrying like crazy from now on, you know that right? Let me be the overbearing overprotective friend please.”
You let out a heavy sigh choosing to not say anything for a moment as you got lost in your own head.
“Y/N, I respect your choices always. But please be careful.” 
You nodded, “Thank you Jungkook, and you know I will.”
“Listen I gotta go but I’ll text you okay?” Jungkook said as he stood up.
You stood up with him following him to the door.
He leaned in and gave you a hug, it was warm and you felt safe in his arms for the short moment they were around you.
You really did have great friends you thought.
With a quick goodbye, Jungkook left you alone with your thoughts.
PART 3
133 notes · View notes
mrsbhandari · 4 years
Text
Shutter - pt 6
a/n: THIS SHIT TOOK SO DAMN LONG AND IM SORRY ive just been dealing with people moving and going out to do stuff and having little motivation to actually write so im VERY sorry that this took years. also, this chapter is way more nsfw than my other chaps so it is of course inspired by @lxdy-starfury‘s absolutely BEAUTIFUL nsfw art so plsssssss check that out because she’s incredible. also this is the last part of this main series, who knows, if people ask or I feel like it ill write more in this au for this pairing. well see!! for now im happy to completely finish it
also I know that my masterlist is fucky rn, im looking for the time to fix it, so if you want to see a specific fic or even all my fics for a specific pairing or book, don’t hesitate to message me or send me an ask!! im happy to point yall in the right direction, and when its not a request, I usually get to asks pretty quickly so yeah!!
words: 3.7k 
warnings: unwanted advances, nsfw at the endddd
tagging: @lxdy-starfury, @huntress1024, @anotherbeingsworld, @brightpinkpeppercorn, @chaotic-ramsay-queen, @brycemaloliver
#
Tyril was letting his PhD go to waste. He was letting it all go to waste because his brain was pouring out of his ears as his eyes took in the purely magnificent sight of Naexi in that skin tight purple dress, hugging every curve just right and accentuating her breasts with a low V neckline. The way the fabric moved with her every step was captivating, drawing his attention to every little piece of her body, tantalizingly revealed and taunting him. 
“You’re going to catch flies, Tyril.” She was fumbling with her clutch, checking to make sure that her phone fit inside and then turning around to grab something else. This new angle gave him a perfect view of her backside, filling out the dress as if it was made for her. In all honesty, his sharp  tuxedo had caught her eye as well, but the large field of crimson spread across his cheeks and nose was a reminder of how much better she was at holding her feelings about Tyril in. Tyril, however, could barely keep his hands to himself in her room, in the living room, in the kitchen, and on the drive over to the gala. 
“Of course you own a stupidly expensive car.” Naexi ran her hands over the smooth leather seats and the crisp finish of the wood on the dashboard. The car was clean, making her feel like if she continued to touch anything, her fingerprints would forever ruin the surfaces. 
“It’s a nice car.” His hand was on her thigh, covered by the fabric of the dress but no doubt covered in faded love bites meticulously placed by Tyril. She only hummed her response, briefly distracted by the way his thumb was rubbing circles on her inner thigh, spindly fingers inching toward her core as if it was magnetized. His inability to draw his hand away suggested that he was most definitely not thinking about the car. She only hummed, insistent on keeping any gratification he was giving her to herself; it only encouraged him to drag his fingers over the apex of her thighs, her core only separated from his fingertips by two flimsy pieces of fabric. 
“You better not crash it,” she teased, still stoic. Quickly, Tyril figured out that continuing his current path was only going to hurt him in the long run, so he ran a finger back down to her knee as they arrived at the large hall his father had booked for the gala. He knew that this night was already going to be one of schmoozing and torture, but he still barely looked forward to it since he knew Naexi would be at his side. 
“Hey, elf boy!” a voice called to his left as he gave his keys to the valet with a hefty tip. Naexi turned and was met with a man a few inches shorter than her with wavy brown hair and a smile that betrayed that he was up to no good. 
“I told you not to call me that, you rogue,” Tyril grumbled, begrudgingly clasping hands with the man and patting his back as he was pulled into a hug. 
“You can’t just say that people think you’re an elf in an interview and then expect not to be called elf boy,” he reasoned, sending a wink Naexi’s way. “I’m Mal Volari, and you’re gorgeous.” He gently took her hand in his and pressed his lips to the back of it, never breaking eye contact. 
“Mal…” Tyril cautioned, palm spreading protectively over his girlfriend’s side. 
“Don’t worry, Ty.” She tamely ran her fingers through the hair that fell so gracefully over his ears, hiding the blush that had started to touch the barely pointed tops of them. Mal smiled knowingly. “I’m Naexi, Tyril’s date.”
“I’ve heard much about you.” They began walking into the gala, all gold finishing and sparkling diamonds adorning the necks and hands of New York’s elite, and Naexi couldn’t help but feel completely out of place. Mal rambled on at her side, so she took advantage of his distraction to whisper to Tyril, who already looked bored. 
“This is weird.” 
“Indeed,” he murmured, his deep baritone accompanying the words quite nicely. Already, people were beginning to stare as they made the rounds, hopping from rich group to rich group. Mal had abandoned them to camp at the open bar.
“Why do people look at me like that?”
“I apologize, it’s my fault. I’ve not had a date to one of these things in quite some time.” They had sat at one of the tables, a glass of champagne in each of their hands as they took a break from socializing. 
“Ah, yes; the elusive bachelor Tyril Starfury.” She threw her hand out in the air to indicate a headline. He smiled. 
“I don’t know how I ever got through one of these things without you.”
“Mal never helped? Or Imtura?”
“Imtura always takes her job as security seriously and Mal enjoys the expensive champagne my father orders.” Tyril nodded his head at where his friend was gesturing wildly, no doubt telling a story of his travels to a handsome man with a starry look in his eyes. “As well as the company these events attract.”
“Will I get to meet your father?” The question threw Tyril off his balance, but he quickly recovered. 
“Well, he usually finds me along with my sister so--”
“Big brother!” Two pale arms wrapped around Tyril’s shoulders and squeezed, holding him close. His eyes lit up as the woman behind him kissed his cheek. “Staying as asocial as always, I see.”
“Can you blame me?”
“Not for your company, no.” The woman’s eyes flicked to Naexi’s, as piercing as her brother’s but leagues warmer. “You’re Naexi? I’ve seen your work. You’re very good.”
She smiled as she responded. “Really? That means so much, thank you. You must be Adrina.” She stuck her hand out, but exclaimed a small “oh!” when Adrina pulled her up from the chair to give her a hug. 
“Everyone’s here for my father, so I’m allowed to break stuffy old etiquette.” Her laugh was light and airy, like a sweet breeze on a summer day. A man with Tyril’s pale skin and dark hair appeared behind her, posture straight and face neutral. Tyril stood quickly, taking his place in front of his father and next to Naexi. 
“Hello, Father.”
“Tyril! I’m glad to see that you found a date in time.” His tone was one of pride that barely hid the small element of surprise.
“Yes, this is Naexi.” The feeling of Tyril’s warm grip on her waist was already enough to make her knees buckle, but she forced herself to stay upright to shake his father’s hand. 
“It’s nice to meet you. Your gala is truly beautiful.” 
“What else do we ever expect from the famed Valir Starfury?” a smooth voice sounded from her right, and her head quickly swiveled to see who it belonged to. The man’s smile was friendly and inviting, but upon closer inspection, the feeling never reached his eyes. His mop of curly hair was perfectly styled to make him look boyish, but with the way Tyril’s grip tightened ever-so-slightly, Naexi knew something was off. 
“Aerin.” 
“Tyril, is that how you greet an old friend?” Aerin laughed, sloshing his champagne in its glass. He turned a predatory gaze on her. “It’s been a while since you’ve had a date, Ty.” The man next to her stood completely still, his eyes narrowed. “Who was the last...Kaya?”
“And your point?” Tyril’s response was sharp enough to make Adrina take the smallest step toward him. Aerin continued to stare at Naexi while addressing Tyril.
“You sure know how to pick them, hm? You have a keen eye for beauty.” Aerin winked, but it made Naexi’s heart flutter and skin crawl. She shifted in her heels, ignoring the pain in her feet. There was palpable tension in the air between the five of them, suffocating and humid. Naexi racked her brain to find some way to cut it. 
“I have to use the restroom.” The statement came off far louder than she intended, but it still did the trick. Aerin blinked, taken aback by her exclamation, and Adrina surged forward to take hold of her wrist, pulling her away from her brother and through the crowd of high rollers. 
“I’ll take you!” Adrina said, hoping that the men would get the hint. As soon as they were out of earshot, she let out a sigh. “Thank goodness you got us out of that one. I’ve never been more grateful for girl code.” 
“Who was that? He was charming but…”
“Sleazy? Yeah, you’re not the only one. That’s Aerin Valleros, heir to WhiteTower Corporations. He acts like he’s the best thing since sliced bread, but he’s been in more scandals than I can count.” Adrina visibly shuddered. “He’s creepy.” 
“Didn’t he assault his brother or something?” Naexi asked, remembering the name popping up in one of the numerous headlines Nia sent her a while back. 
“Yup, they fought over who was going to take over the company. Beat him so bad that his brother stepped down.”
“Holy shit.” They had reached a wall next to the opening for the bathroom, so they stood outside and leaned against it to talk. “Everyone here is insane.”
“Yeah, I feel kind of bad for leaving Tyril with him.” 
“What’s their beef?” Adrina sent a wide-eyed glance to Naexi.
“People really say that?” She let out a delighted laugh. “I love that! Anyway, Tyril used to be engaged to this girl Kaya, but she cheated on him with Aerin and they planned to take over the Starfury company together.” She grabbed a glass of champagne off a passing tray and took a long sip. “But then her assistant leaked information to the press and she disappeared.”
“Do you guys live in a Lifetime movie?” 
“Pretty much,” Adrina sighed, seemingly searching for someone in the crowd in front of them.
“Did you come here with a date?” Adrina hummed her answer and Naexi gently nudged her bare arm. “Go find them. I’ll be fine here.” 
“You sure?” 
“Go on!” Naexi waved her hands to shoo her off and leaned back against the wall to sip her champagne. Just as she was about to go find Tyril, a sultry voice and a large hand on her forearm held her in place. 
“Hello.” Aerin was polite, but kept his hand on her. She felt goosebumps rise along the back of her neck and Adrina’s explanation of who he was repeated in her mind.
“Hi.” 
“I apologize for the uncomfortable situation earlier. I’m afraid Tyril and I aren’t on the best of terms.” He seemed genuinely concerned, and for the briefest second, Naexi felt her guard fall. 
“Should I be the one you’re apologizing to?” Her champagne barely stayed in her glass as he slammed his hand onto the wall behind her, bringing his face close to hers and smirking when she backed up to the hard surface. No one around her seemed to notice. 
“You’re quick. It’s attractive. Do you think I’m attractive?”
“Trapping a woman because you can’t get her to come to you isn’t attractive,” Naexi drawled, keeping her gaze locked on his. He was simmering and dangerous; one wrong move could make him boil over, but she figured that he had more to lose than a random photographer here as a plus-one. 
“What does Tyril have that I don’t?” At this, his breath cascaded over her face, and she didn’t know what he had been drinking all night, but it certainly wasn’t the expensive, barely alcoholic bubbles that were being passed around. 
“Better alcohol tolerance, for one.” She winced as he laughed. 
“Funny.”
“It wasn’t a joke.” Before she could speak again, Aerin gave a yelp as his tuxedo was yanked back, making him stumble into Tyril, who caught him easily. 
“It’s time for you to leave, Aerin.” People were finally beginning to stare as Tyril walked Aerin out, who was mumbling about his kingdom. Naexi followed, easily hailing a taxi and pushing the drunk man into the back seat with a purposeful shove. The night was cold, and she turned to walk back inside when she felt a tug on her wrist. Looking back, she saw Tyril with his cold, slender fingers against her skin. “I don’t want to go back in.” 
“Wanna head to your place?” 
“Desperately,” he breathed, pulling her close to him and handing his ticket and a tip to the valet. His hand was wrapped around her waist exactly how it had been for the entire night, but this time felt different. His hands were always cold, but his touch was burning with a promise, which he kept as soon as they shut the door to his apartment. 
His kisses were always encompassing, as if he captured every atom of her being between the seam of his lips, his teeth grazing every thought in her mind and his fingers brushing her soul. His movements were deliberate as he walked her backwards to his bedroom, slipping her dress off and letting it pool on the floor next to the sleek coffee table. She was more hurried, eagerly tugging his jacket off and tossing it in the hallway. Finally, they reached his room, vast and cold but slowly thawing. A well-placed kiss to his now-exposed collarbone had him gasping. 
“Please…” he breathed, falling back onto the bed by himself as she stayed standing above him. She looked down on him, studying the way his chest rose and fell so quickly and the way his lips were ever-so-slightly parted, caught in the guarantee of pleasure that was soon to come. He gazed at her as if she was the only person left for him in the world.
He made her believe it. 
“Tell me what you want, Tyril.” His words seemed to get caught in his throat as she, bare and only clad in a thin pair of black panties, got onto her knees on the bed and straddled him, already moving to unbutton his fancy shirt and pants. She could feel him hardening beneath her and gave an experimental grind, pulling out a low moan from his chest. His hands were loosely placed on her hips, but they traveled down to stroke her thighs. 
“Please,” he repeated, sitting up to shrug off his shirt and unintentionally hitting his forehead on her collarbone. 
“What, baby?” she asked, picking his head up and tilting his face to look up at her above him. His eyes were nearly shut and his lips were swollen, and she gave him a small simper. “Use your words.” 
“I…” he trailed off, struggling to voice it. “I want you to suck my cock, Naexi.” She pressed a kiss to his lips and climbed off him, pulling him up to stand and kneeling in front of him. His hands immediately found her hair, tangling in the long locks as she pulled his pants down and fished his cock out of his fancy boxers. He opened his mouth to say something, but all thought left his mind as she wrapped her lips around his head and sucked, flicking her tongue around the tip. “Ah!” he yelped, eyes rolling back as his hand tightened in her hair. She briefly took her mouth away and settled for just her lips against him, and he whined in displeasure. “P-please--ooh--don’t tease me…” She took him in deeper until he teased the back of her throat, and he risked a glance down at her. 
Naexi was looking directly into his eyes, studying his reaction and flicking her tongue accordingly. The sight of her green eyes brimming with tears as she took him was nearly enough to make him come, and she sensed it in the slight scratch of his fingernails against her scalp. 
“You take my cock so well, Naexi,” he breathed, and she moaned around him. Letting out a shaky breath, he tapped once against her head. “I’m so close.” Instead of pulling away, she pushed his cock further down her throat and ran her tongue along a prominent vein along the underside of his shaft, pushing him over the edge. He let out a long groan as she swallowed him down, running her hands up and down his sides to both soothe him and keep him from stumbling. She stood and gave him a bright smile, raising herself to her tiptoes (even though she didn’t need to) and pressing her lips to his. He eagerly returned the favor, pulling away only to allow his lips to burn a path down her throat. He reached her collarbone, but stopped suddenly with his eyebrows furrowed. 
“Everything okay?” Naexi asked, searching his face in concern.
“You--” Tyril started, but stopped, pursing his lips in disapproval. “You smell like him.” 
“Aerin?” Her head was cocked, but her eyes widened when his own darkened. 
His voice was low and made her heart race. “Don’t say his name.” 
“I’m sorry,” she apologized, casting her eyes downward and fiddling with her hands. Sighing, he nuzzled the crook of her neck, placing kisses and small bites on the flesh he found there. 
“No, it’s my fault. I should’ve been more careful with him. He sees a beautiful woman and loses all ability to think.” His hands flew to her hips to pull her closer to him when she gasped at his teeth on her skin. “The fact that you’re mine only made him crazier.” 
“Yours?” She reached under his chin to bring his face up to hers, glancing down at his lips and then back up at his eyes. 
“I’m--I meant you were my date, not mine, you’re not property--I just meant--” he stammered, taking a step back before realizing that the bed was close behind him. He lost his balance, falling back against the bed with a loud cry and frowning when Naexi snorted, barely containing her laughter at him. Instead of tugging him back up, she climbed on top of him again, letting her hair fall into his face as she looked down at how pretty his own locks were splayed out against the bed. 
“Don’t worry, Ty, I like it.”
“You do?” 
“I like being yours…” She pressed a kiss to the right side of his neck. “...and only yours…” She switched to his left. “No one else’s.” She placed a final kiss to his lips, one that he prolonged as he followed her when she tried to break it. “So greedy.”
“I can’t help it,” he breathed, giving a small squeeze to her hips. “I hated watching him put his hands on you.” 
“Then how about you put your hands on me?” He smirked as she yelped at his quick movement to flip them over, pinning her to the bed by her wrists. Tyril immediately released her and ran his fingertips down her arms and stopped at her breasts, electing to switch to his mouth. With his left hand, he kneaded her flesh in his palm and took her right nipple in between his lips, flicking his tongue to mirror her movements from when she deepthroated him. His right hand continued downward until his index finger was circling her clit and entering her easily with the help of her own arousal. “Yes!” she gasped, back arching to push her body even closer to his. His finger pumped in and out of her, curling every so often and making him smile as she moaned louder and louder the closer she got to climax. He rushed the process by adding his middle finger and curling, hitting her sweet spot inside while rubbing her clit with his thumb. 
“Come on, Naexi, let go for me.” She responded with a wail as she came, hands clutching the sheets and legs shaking. He continued to move his fingers even after she recovered, but leaned down to whisper softly in her ear. 
“Would you like more?”
“Fuck, Tyril, yes. Just fuck me,” she begged, eyes barely able to stay open to look at his grin. He raised to his knees on the bed and looked down at her for a brief moment before entering her, admiring the way her skin shone with sweat and the way her flesh was blemished with the marks he had placed there. Naexi, in all her glory, was his. 
“All mine,” he whispered before thrusting and gasping at how perfectly her heat enveloped him. He buried himself inside her, allowing her a few seconds to get used to his size. Finally, the legs she instinctively wrapped around him squeezed his waist, getting him to pull out of her again before slamming back in with a loud moan. 
“Tyril!” she screamed, thankful for the lack of neighbors in his penthouse apartment. “Faster, please!” she pleaded, green locking with blue as she met him thrust for thrust, clenching around his cock and grabbing the wrists that connected to the hands clutching her waist. He picked up his pace, moaning all the while, and felt his stomach already coiling, a tell-tale sign of how close he was. She let out a small cry as he hit her sensitive spot and brought his thumb down to rub around her clit, unexpectedly throwing her over the edge. “Don’t stop, Tyril!” He heeded her instruction, and at the feeling of her juices coating his cock, followed her to his own peak, releasing himself inside her. Her eyes blinked slowly, as if finally coming back to her senses minutes after he pulled out and retrieved a warm washcloth to clean her up. Sitting up, she followed him to the bathroom, rubbing at his shoulders as he began to draw a bath. 
“Did you...enjoy the gala?” he asked awkwardly, frowning when she laughed. 
“After that mind-blowing sex, that’s what you’re going to say.” She poked his cheek and then kissed the small, red spot. “You’re too adorable.”
“...It was mind-blowing?”
“You’re turning into Mal.” His eyes bulged and he exaggerated a shudder. 
“Oh no.” 
“But yes, it was mind-blowing.” Her lips found his easily, but she pulled away again when she felt a smile against them. “What are you smiling at?”
“I’m just happy that now I can have mind-blowing sex with you all the time now.”
“How romantic.”
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weekly log
monday: lazy day after a busy weekend especially since i was fasting. excessive sleeping and slothing, et cetera. spent a lot of time catching v up on weekend gossip, particularly from the bridal shower the day before. had a nice walk in the backyard. the very large deer that frequents the premises has grown extremely accustomed to human beings, and he watched me for quite some time as i walked back and forth, listening to office ladies and feeling generally immensely content with the world. when i paused at the bench for a moment to check my phone, in my peripheral vision i saw him turn on his heel and bound magnificently away.
i had delicious potato snacks for iftar and we got thai food for dinner and the basil fried rice tasted so good i almost wept.
tuesday: fasting again, less lazy of a day. i finally went to the learning store ive been wanting to go to since 2018 but now feel Allowed not that i have a job for september (!!!!!!!). i shopped for my classroom (!!!!!!!) and it was the TIME OF MY LIFE. i have never enjoyed being inside a store that much in my entire life. showing extreme restraint, i only purchased three things: a large wipe-off calendar, nametags for students’ desks, and (a splurge) star tags for the bulletin board outside. i had always pictured apples, but maybe next year. stars feel like the right move to start my classroom off on.
dinner was nthai leftovers.
wednesday: not fasting today. dentist in the morning (torturous, but necessary.) met v for lunch after and we spent the day together (dont tell her boss.) sisters were fasting, so they were mostly asleep. a lot of hammock time and generally lounging about for the remainder of the evening. also got a lot of writing done (lacrosse au.....) and talked to shirley for a while.
thursday: spent the entire day debating or not whether i should sign up for a yoga class. decided to sign up for a yoga class. went to yoga. it was the time of my life. gave nageen her present at midnight to me and imans great joy.
friday: tutored in the morning. tried valiantly not to let it put me in a bad mood, which it often does for much of the weekend. mostly just hung out with sisters all day since it was nageen’s birthday! we went shopping and got a margherita pizza from panera bread which turned out to be delicious. also had a lot of hammock time and read a lot of the raven king, which is slowly destroying me. i dont know what im going to do when the series ends. im glad that i abandoned the series in high school, because a) i dont think i really got it back then and b) it is the perfect book for the current moment i am in my life. magical forests and sad boys and healing from trauma, that’s me.
satuday: lounged, eid bazaar (boring), read, hammock, was relieved that some plans i had unwittingly agreed to on sunday were canceled and immediately made new ones with people i actually liked. made pizza and watched a lot of pretty little liars w/sisters. wrote the climax (i think?) of lacrosse au.
sunday: brunch with friends! (see: people i actually liked.) we went to a cute overpried place and got waffles. it was far more instagram than my life usually is. hung out until 5, napped (sort of), did yoga with nageen (surprising) and am now completely exhausted from what feels like a very long day. 
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yyxgin · 3 years
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no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3
admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.
thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?
also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.
im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!
also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.
gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨
ilyl ~ 🌻
thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you 
HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes
aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd
oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.
why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??
ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!! 
YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing
ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!! 
ily <333
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unikornu · 4 years
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Page 5, Regain
(re-written)
Gage pushed the door open, the bright and warm sun hanging above Nuka Town welcomed them as well as grumpy faces of the local raiders and curious ones of the traders, passing along the way, while they were heading to the Fizztop.
- Didn’t change much since last time, maybe just the audience is a bit more..unpleasant, for now. Lucy walked beside Gage looking straight forward and avoiding the judging eyes and whispers surrounding them. - Also it got a bit warmer too. She brushed her forehead sweeping away some sweat.
- So you have been here before, Boss? When? I don’t remember you when we raided this place. Gage looked at her, curiously.
- Oh...way before traders or whatever happened to this town after...She paused, realizing that what she will say might sound very strange to Porter ears.
- After what? Upon passing Parlor he noticed she doesn’t act like being in a new place indeed. She was observing and smiling softly almost like glad to revisit.
- Let’s save that talk for later, once i will be sure you still won’t gut me at the end of that walk. Also why do you call me Boss all the time? She looked up at him squinting her eye.
- Rules, Boss. Without them we would be the same fucking Commonwealth mess. Well..that one was my own rule, might as well not break it right away. He pushed the button, elevator slowly sliding down at the Fizztop.
- And you don’t break rules eh? Even your own? She smirked at him and whistled softly at the fact that raiders would think of an elevator and even build one, functional.  
- Oh i do break rules Boss, but only on special...occasions. He smirked back at her and pointed to the elevator as it arrived. As they were going up he looked at her face, blushed in the sunlight, revealing a scar and tattoos.
- Got yourself a nice souvenir from kind people of Commonwealth? She leaned on the barrier and pulled her knife out.
- Yes..the most kind type. But he left me this as a recompense. She spun it in her fingers and pointed towards him before putting it back.
- Disciple styled...so the fucker managed to escape after all, hah. Gage mumbled under his nose recognizing the blade structure that was well known in Nuka Town among the crooked ladies of Nisha’s gang.  
----
- Finally. Lucy released the sound of relief from her lungs at the elevator arrived to the patio. As she spotted the bed she started heading towards it right away, taking the parts of her armor on the way, ignoring Gage presence.
- Uhm..you need a sec Boss? We still need to talk about the plan. He turned to the side and sat at the bar that was just across the bed, wodden-made wall hiding her as she dropped on the mattress.
- Just talk while i rest for a moment. I can hear you just perfect. Lucy used the fact she was hidden and send the short report to the Institute from the pipboy, allowing her to continue her side-tasks and not be disturbed nor tracked while she figures out her current position.
- Okay, Boss. So there are three gangs in this town. Disciples, Operators and the Pack. And as u noticed raiders aren’t the sharing type much so Colter and i had idea to get the rest of the Nuka World to start expanding ourselves and let’s say...loosen the tension a bit. Gage started explaining but as he would rather have that talk face to face he started taking slow steps towards the bed.
- And Colter didn’t do it eh? Looking how he ended up. Lucy leaned on her arms and looked around, bringing back the memories of this place when it was a full functional restaurant.
- He got a bit...lazy and i’m a fucking patient man but at one point all of us had enough, of his comfy ass, sitting all days here, drinking beer after beer and fucking around. He approached her close enough just to see her head from above the wall.
- And..you want me to finish the job. She interrupted and looked at him, slowly standing up and siting at the edge of bed, ignoring the fact being dressed just in underwear and a top. - Can i ask you something, Gage? He nodded and looked away.
- Why didn’t you step up as the Overboss? You know this place and you seem smarter than you look about all this shit. I mean..look at me, im not a leader. She snatched a box of whatever food was nearby tearing the opening apart.
- Because i fucked up too much before, they hate me for it and i would rather keep my head where it is. You on the other hand have a clear....card. She looked at him uncertain, holding her head on the palm and chewing.
- Fuck, look i will help you, guide you around, throw some advices. I will come with you too if you don’t mind company. We just need to get the job done. Gage stepped up to her as she walked down to the bar.
- And what do i get out of it, and you? She leaned over the counter, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the shelf below.
- You get whatever the hell you want as long as it goes along with our..what they called them..principles and the plan of getting the rest of this place for us. Her face brightened a bit the sound of it. - And i get to keep my head where it is and get my share out of it. So...deal, Boss? He stretched the hand towards her.
- Get whatever i want...and do what i want with no consequences, hmm fine, deal, for now. She barely could get her hand around his to squeeze it in a manner of agreement as it almost disappeared in raider’s big palm. - I will still sleep with a knife under my pillow Gage, i don’t trust you just yet. All of it just sounds too good and easy.
- What if it actually is that good and easy, Boss? He grinned and turned around, slowly walking away towards the hallway. - Also when you rest you need to meet with the leaders, i left you directions on the desk.
- You want me to go alone out there, and meet the leaders? Me? Alone? She laughed but stopped shortly realizing he is not joking.
- Well, you have to get respect one way or another, Boss. That might prove them just fine that you ain’t just scared little pretty gal eh? He looked her up and down  and disappeared behind the door.
- Well...shit. She looked in the glass she poured herself whiskey and drank it all in one go. - Alright...i got this. Might also need some new clothes for this bloody warm place.
----
Its been a while since Lucy was stepping into the wolf’s caves with the mind sharp and confident but with each step she realized that even if 200 years passed for her it was much shorter, almost like stepping through a magical door just to find yourself on the other side of the nuclear land. Spinning the knife in its grip she decided to be done with her biggest worry first - disciples. Reading a face can say a lot about person’s intentions but in Nisha case that was impossible. Lucy had to remain calm and stoic against the leader disgust and lack of faith into her person as well as Gage choice of promoting her but nothing that a few promises wouldn’t shake away along with trashing Colter. She left, still facing them until she stepped out of their base. Savoy sharp look shining from behind his mask was sending a shiver down her spine that she shook away as she arrived near the market.
Next was the Pack. They were speaking simple but understandable language, their base looking like a colorful zoo more than the pre-war theatre. Mason outfit and overall look was blending quite well with the all the decorations placed behind his throne. - King of the fucking jungle himself. She whispered under her nose, approaching him and passing the dogs curiously watching her and sniffing behind.
- So you are the Overboss..hmpf..was expecting something..well better. Mason scanned her from his chair and slowly stood up.
- Or bigger...well i didn’t come here to make an impression. Just tell me what you want. She threw her hands to the side and stepped aside as Mason walked down, facing her.
- Straight to the point, Boss? Well, listen then because i don’t like to repeat myself like i did to Colter. We need more fucking space and action, anything to get this pack running again. If we cook up here any longer even i will lose my fuckin patience and piss on the rules and Porter himself. The more he was looking at her, down and her posture, the wider his smile was getting, that this woman is their so called leader from now on.
- Alright Mason. I know about Colter’s plan and i intend to actually get it moving. But tell me, why the fuck you guys didn’t kill him on a spot if he was so bad? And why one of you didn’t take charge if you all know what ya want? She looked up at him, questionable.
- First, it was all Porter’s plan, along with making Colter the Overboss and we just agreed to it. Look, Colter wasn’t bad at the start, a bit dumb if you ask me but tough as fuck. And now well, you came by, just as he lost our respect and Porter decided to “accidently” kill him in a fair fight. Mason leaned down towards her, his breath almost hitting her face. - But if you manage to fuck it up the same way i might actually take charge since you came up with the idea. Would be a shame tho....
- And if you don’t back off i will strangle you along with your dogs to that fucking chair. He grinned at her and straightened himself back up.
- Hah, you have some balls even for a small little sweet bird like you, tell ya what. I’m gonna be nice that first and one time, Boss and you will give us what we wanted all that time. He stepped up to his chair and pulled something from behind and threw it her way. A colorful rifle landed in her hands and surprise showed on her face. - Just try not to fuck it up or i will beat you myself to death with it. She nodded at him and left the theatre as Mason shooed her away with his massive arm. The last was Parlor and the twins.
- At last, something pleasant that isn’t splattered with blood all over or stinks. Operator at the door pointed her inside. - Mags and William were waiting for you, Boss. Don’t make them wait any longer.
The place was clean and barely changed except the aging furniture and dried flowers placed in a cracked vases. She liked it and realized that despite Mags being slightly proud and stiff they spoke the same language when it came to what the want in the end. Caps and more caps. They said before the war that money could not buy happiness but what if for both of them money itself became reason to be happy. She shook hands with Mags but William as well in a sign of respect for them both and showing some manners.
- It was my pleasure too to meet you, Boss. William took a few more seconds on a hand shake but Mags elbow suggested him to stop dreaming around.
- Also...who is she? Lucy asked seeing an operator woman passing and holding a bunch of grenades and other devices.
- That is Lizzie, our conspirator and...well lab-mad woman but we were friends since back then so she joined us too. She has a talent for explosives and other things. Mags sighted and allowed her to visit her in the lab, her face remaining stoic and emotionless as always.
Lucy knocked on the door frame before disturbing her. - So you are Lizzie,what are you doing there?
- Well, hello Boss. Just testing new type of grenades, you never know when you might need them with people like us. Especially that Colter only worsened the whole situation. Lizzie pulled her goggles on the forehead and turned towards her - At least we got that problem away. Hope you ain’t planning following in his steps and finally get us some caps.
- I like myself above the ground so ye.. Listen...i know this place  and i know they kept some...clothes around Parlor. Do you know where i might find them? Lizzie pointed towards the door in her lab, leading downstairs to a room filled with dusty boxed and racks covered in plastic foils.
- Mags didn’t throw them out yet and i kept what i found for myself here. For...science purpose, of course. Why, you need new clothes? Lizzie pulled a rope dangling above, lightening the bubble hanging in the center of the room.
- Something like that, yes. And i think you can help me make it a bit more than just clothes. She smiled at her and Lizzie couldn’t deny she liked her approach and idea. They agreed on helping each other as long as Lucy would also accept taking on few tests with her new weaponry inventions.
----
-Welcome back, Boss. Whoa, shit.....you look different. Gage was expecting her to come back in one piece with no issues but not in new gear as well as she stepped from the elevator inside his room, wearing a mix of something elegant and skimpier than before, almost hidden behind junks of metal armor.
- Take care of it, its from Mason. She threw him a rifle carrying all the rainbow shades, leaving the raider face half opened, almost dropping a cigareyte that was placed in his mouth.
- Mason gave you his rifle? Un-fuckin believable. He gave it a few spins and placed it on the table next to other guns.
- They all must be pretty desperate, letting us do all the job after all and even offering some gear, just like that. She dropped on the chair, throwing her legs on the table and snatching the pamphlet lying nearby.
- Us? So you already decided you want me to tag along, Boss? He couldn’t hide his smile on a thought that she actually agreed to take on a task and hell even include him in the action.
- It’s a job for two people and since we shook hands i guess we are partners from now on, eh? She looked at him and winked from behind the park map. - So, what do you say we do?
He stretched his neck and threw the finished cigarette to the side. - I say we prepare and go kill some shiet, Boss.
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