#im literally sobbing ao hard

[satorudoll]

MY SMOLL BABY BEAR, MY SMOLL POOKIE, MY SWEETS, MY SMOOL SMOLL BABY, APPLE OF MY EYE FR, UR MY BABYYY, U R MY BABY AND ILYSMMM

[ersrtni]

dya ever just *cries to light behind your eyes*

[fever-dreamxo]

Does anyone else with bpd get really negatively affected and like deeply offended when like. Your fucking pet is mean to you lol this is great

[babysizedfics]

Back at it again with a couple more HC prompts, which imma just dump in one, and you can pick which ones you want. Puddles with the kiddos, family baking sessions when both are regressed, Ro wanting attention whilst Logan is reading, so climbing all over his book, how their reactions to new stuffies differ, regressed versus non-regressed birthdays.... Etc... 👍

okokokokok buckle up everyone

Puddles:

this is the only one where i have to be like .. i don't think so :0 see virgil can get very nervous when it rains because he's so anxious about 'is it gonna storm? will there be thunder? will we be hit by lightning? will there be a flood? what if one of us slips and hurts our head??' that he just cannot relax enough to be able to jump around in puddles because 'WHAT IF I SLIP IM GONNA DIE' and the wetness on his skin sets off the wrong sensory feelings so jumping in muddy puddles is a no for him (as much as he loves peppa pig)

and roman is a fussy little thing, he may not care as much for his appearance when he's small but i think he will still be conscious enough to notice if he gets wet hair and muddy clothes - plus i feel like roman's mood is quite tied to the weather, on dark days he tends to fee a little more gloomy, ao again not sure about this especially if he wouldn't have his baby brother there with him

Baking:

OH BOY so roman is a great cook okay? like chef level he has honed his skills so that he can make romantic meals for handsome princes, but baking? nu uh, too technical, he ain't got time for that. Patton is the baker of the house and makes cookies and cupcakes way too often for Logan's liking (but secretly he loves them of course, he's just concerned for everybody's teeths) but both CGs will cook dinner when the boys are little

When the boys are regressed they're not allowed much in the kitchen anymore. after roman tried to make breakfast in bed for his CGs and started a very small but very real fire he has lost some kitchen rights (ficlet coming to you at some point perhaps) and is not allowed in the kitchen without at least one CG. even if he can switch so quickly between headspaces, he ends up either 1) too stubborn to come out of little space, or 2) a kittle bit clumsy when he comes out of it

but to make up for roman being upset by this slight loss of independence (he is a big kid after all) patton and he do weekly baking sessions! and there's always a theme. most recently they had animal crossing themed cupcakes, a little mermaid themed jello (not technically baking but roman wanted to but little fish gummies in the jelly), and... the next one is a secret because i might put it in chapter 7 (: in fact chapter 7 will feature the first instance of this tradition!!

virgil has pyrophobia (fear of fire) and so is never keen to be in the kitchen while there's food preparation going on (but he was allowed to help with the under the sea jello!!) so roman and pattons baking sessions are an excuse for mama and baby bonding time! the tradition didn't start until after virgil's separation anxiety from patton had eased up a little so luckily there's barely any tears

mama baby bonding time consists of but is not limited to: sitting on mama's lap, doing puzzles together, (vee trying to suck on a puzzle piece and crying when he's told not to), mama reading baby books to vee, vee touching all the textures and flaps in the baby books, snuggles

Ro wanting attention while Lo is reading:

this is 1000% canon!! later in the series logan will often be at work in his room and have the boys with him because patton is busy with something or another. they realise they really do need to keep working for thomas' sake but manage to integrate the boys' littlespaces into it. Eg. logan dangling baby plastic keys from one hand to amuse girgil while he's typing with the other

but when it's quiet time, when patton is in virgil's room because the baby is having a nap and papa wants to watch over him, when roman hasn't been little because he's been working or simply not in the mood earlier that day, when logan is just chilling, just reading a stephen hawking book in the living room, when he's literally just vibing, roman can and will launch himself into logan's lap sending the book flying and logan isn't allowed to tell him off because 'I'm little now! i want attention now!! hi mom!!!!'

New stuffies:

AHHHHHHHHH this this this is so so cute!!

roman never used to care much for soft toys before okay? before he was ever a little sure he appreciated disney action figures (he used them to block out scenes he wrote for theatre productions and screenplays and fanfiction) sure he always had a soft spot for Mrs Fluffybottom his childhood toy, but she always just sat on a shelf, he never fet the need to cuddle her or play with her

but when he realises he's little, when he starts playing with vee, when he sees how much vee cares about his soft animals, when patton and logan buy him a present to welcome him to the littlespace family and it's a golden teddy bear (soon to be named Aladdin) with big brown beady eyes and a satin crimson bow around its neck? yeah big kids love stuffies too

and now whenever roman is gifted a new toy (soft or otherwise) he essentially gets the zoomies!!! his brain is going a million miles a minute with all the game possibilities and with the excitement of NEW PRESENT!!! and with the happiness that his caregivers thought about him and he's been a good enough boy to deserve gifts?? yeah he's so so so excited he canNOT stand still he runs around the house for a whole hour flinging his new toy around (yeah he's a bit rough with them and there's been more than one torn limp or loose eye but he doesn't care it just shows how much they're loved!)

Now virgil: this boy is very very very emotionally attached to his stuffies. when he was a "dark side" he couldn't have much soft stuff because it just went against everything the household stood for and he couldn't risk the others finding out about how not-scary he really was, but he allowed himself a single stuffed rabbit that was easy to hide and that he loved with all of his being. it was his security blanket and his one item that could offer him comfort in a oanic attack and his only posession that he felt was true to him and not true to the scary facade he put up to scare thomas and the "light sides" into listening to him

without spoiling anything, that bunny was left in that house when he moved to the "light sides"

and in his new home virgil started collecting soft toys whenever he needed comfort. everytime he felt unwanted, every time he had an anxiety attack, everytime there was a thunderstorm predicted for the next week he would get himself a new soft toy because that was the only way he knew to comfort himself. needless to say he's got a pretty big collection now. you might think he became desensitized to new toys because of how many times he had gotten himself a new one, and you might be partly right.

that is until for the first time ever he is given a stuffie by someone else... when logan buys him a soft toy in apology for accidentally revealing his regression to everyone ((yes i am writing this fic!))

it wasn't really logan's fault, virgil should have been more aware he should have been more careful he should have hidden it all better but the logical side was guilt-ridden nonetheless. virgil hadn't expected much to be honest, the sincere apology was enough for him

but when logan blushed and shyly opened a box and handed him a black cat stuffie? virgil had to fight very very hard not to outright sob on the spot. he simply took it, thanked logan shakily, and prayed that logan didn't point out the fact that tears were falling onto the fluff of his new stuffed friend Jiji

now whenever he gets a new toy it's different than before - it's not because he's upset and needs comfort, it happens less often now but it's more special, it could be for a holiday or as a way of saying he's been very sweet or just because patton simply couldn't resist this one because look at its cute lil eyes! but each and everytime he knows when he is handed a new toy by one of his family members it really means 'i love you'

and he buries his face in its softness - it used to be to hide his tears, but now he just can't help but squeeze it tight and close and let the feeling of love wash over him

Birthdays:

yknow that episode of steven universe where steven wears a regal cape and a golden crown? yeah that's roman whether he's little or not

seriously this kid is very much the 'it's my birthweek!' type

lots of singing, lots of 'but i'm the birthday boy!!' to try to get thtings he really shouldn't be getting (like a third cookie) (and yes patton caves every single time) (patton is eventually banned from making decisions on romans behalf during his "birthweek")

there's not much difference at all between little romans birthday and big romans birthday, he's just an excitable boy whether he's a kiddo or not - this may or may not make the caregivers question whether maybe he actually was a little before virgil's regression was revealed

(irrelevant but patton definitely makes the pun 'you're a little? a little what? finish your sentences silly billy!')

virgil hates his birthday. hates it.

too much attention, too many things that could go wrong, too much pressure on it being a good day. what if his anxiety is bad that day? what if he doesn't want everyone watching him open presents? what if he's genuinely terrified that people think walking towards him with a big grin, singing at him, and carrying a cakeful of literal fire is a somehow a fun activity??

when he first moved into the house he made it very clear that he does not have a birthday so don't even try to throw him a party

naturally roman and patton were devastated, but after a failed attempt at getting virgil to enjoy his birthday they obeyed logan's request that they not try to push the idea on virgil any further

but the first birthday after they become a little family, it's a bit different

they don't push it, not at first, but virgil does wake up to patton already in his room and cooing at him adoringly , immediately sending him into his regressed headspace

then he's given a new soft toy. that wasn't so bad

then roman let him choose what disney film they watched. that wasnt bad either

then logan cuddled him for an hour and they might have fallen asleep together not noticing the smell of vanilla coming from the kitchen

then there was a new paci, a new rattle, another new soft toy, and cake cut up into tiny squares so he could nibble on it with his fingers

there was no loud singing no big surprises no bright lights or fire or anything else that he hated about birthdays

there was only love and toys and comfort. so virgil really didn't mind birthdays much after that

[emablckthrn]

YESSS

WAIT WE NEED NAMES Ivy, erm Vera?, and Tom Sawyer 🤠

Ok scenario one: Ivy is in a graveyard being depressed when Vera comes along and they hit it off instantly and they meet up at the grave yard forever and Ivy tells her about her pain and Vera embraces who she is wholly and everytime she sees *giggles* Tom Sawyer she can’t help think of Vera AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS CURSED BUT SO STABLE WITH THE STONE AND VERA’S IVY ok anyways it’s a spring wedding and as spring gets closer and the clovers starts to bloom in the graveyard Vera begs Ivy to run/Ivy begs Vera to run and once Tom finds out he threatens to ‘burn this house to the ground’ or ruin their relationship and he sets Vera’s house on fire the night a few minutes before they run away in the crescent moon and they both run away and live happily ever after and she jokingly says it’s all Vera’s fault, this fire, this war, and they both stop running and fall into the grass breathless laughing with adrenaline cause they’re finally free

Scenario two: Vera and Ivy ran away long ago and Tom thinks their both dead from the fire he set and eventually Vera dies of old age and Ivy burries her in the graveyard that they MET AND SHES THE OLD WIDOW WHO GOES TO THE STONE EVEYDAY AND SHES GRIEVING FOR THE LIVING BECAUSE SHE HAS TO LIVE WITHOUT VERA and she has dementia so she gets lost in flashbacks of the most defining moment of her life which was falling in love with Vera

ALSO BEFORE WE GO ON incandescent is so smart to use because it means passion? And also light so she brings out a passionate glow and a physical light in her soul that had been long lost

Scenario three: Vera and Ivy met in the graveyard that Ivy goes to because it’s a faith forgotten land that’s a perfect escape FROM the faithful land that got her stuck in this engagement. Vera takes all of Ivy’s pain and she accepts it and, once again, create this relationship of the sturdiness of the stone but the beauty of ivy wrapped around it so sturdy and every time she’s with her fiancé she can’t help but seeing that Opal—passionate loving hopeful—eyes and her heart of stone has already been taken by another, she has nothing to give to Tom. Clovers start to bloom around the graveyard and Ivy begs Vera to tell her to run and Vera tell her when the moon is crescent they’ll go together. Tom finds Vera and Ivy and starts a fire and it’s a war and Vera tells Ivy that she’d live and die for moments that they stole on what they KNEW would be begged and borrowed time because Tom corners Vera and Ivy is begging for her not to kill Vera but Tom does and she’s heartbroken and is forced to marry Tom and he eventually dies and we circle back to the first paragraph where she becomes the old widow visiting Vera’s headstone and Tom’s for appearances and in her last moments she goes to Vera’s gravestone so at last she’s finally covered in her again and that’s why Vera’s hand is freezing because even in death she’s the reason Ivy lives.

Scenario four: Vera and Ivy again meet at the grave yard and they’re relationship is incandescent and Ivy can’t even look at Tom and their unwanted engagement anymore and Tom notices but doesn’t say anything. Ivy and Vera plan to runaway before their spring wedding and Tom finds out and sets the house on fire so she can’t escape but Vera manages to drag Ivy out and Ivy is coughing out smoke. Tom and Vera fight the fight of her life but as Vera ducks and Ivy gets stabbed and dies and Tom breaks down and is in too much shock to move and Vera goes to Ivy and sobs and Ivy’s last words are that she’d live and die for moments that we stole because she really LIVED with Vera but she also died because of their love and she does covered in Vera and they both are consumers by the fire that’s a blaze in the dark

Also metaphorically and literally in the last two scenarios Tom burns down the actually house and their fIGURtIvE house, their relationship.

STOP I LAUGHED OUT LOUD WHEN YOU SAID TOM SAWYER 🤠AHAHHA

OKAY OKAY SCENARIO ONE WAS SO CUTE THE ENDING OF IT I LOVE THAT this is making me feeling lonely

SCENARIO TWO IS MAKING ME ACTUALLY SAD I MIGHT CRY BUT THAT WOULD BE AO BEAUTIFUL THE FLASHBACKS OF FALLING IN LOVE WITH VERA OH MY GOODNESS THIS MAKES ME SAD but I love that scenario as well 👏

Ah I didnt know that, that was beautiful thank you

scenario three TOM KILLS VERA AND IVY IS FORCED TO MARRY HIM THATS SO EVIL but I love that when he dies, and she goes to veras gravestone “veras hand is freezing because even in death she’s the reason Ivy lives” THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL PLEASE BECOME A POET THANK YOU

scenario four OKAY HOLD UP ANOTHER SAD ONE? WHEN IVY GETS STABBED AND VERA IS HOLDING HER AND SHE SAYS HER LASTS WORDS AHHH

Ah yes yes

ALSO OH MY GOODNESS YOURE SO CREATIVE IM IN LOVE WITH ALL THESE SCENARIOS AND YOU ALSO ADDED A FOURTH ONE LOVE THAT

Okay okay my favorite one which ones my favorite fuck this is hard. OKAY THE FIRST SCENARIO CAUSE ITS REALLY HAPPY AND I LOVE WHEN VERA IS HELPING IVY AND IDK ITS SO CUTE AND THEY RUN AWAY AND THEYRE FINALLY FREE

THE FIRST ONE MAKES ME FEEL SO LONELY CAUSE I WANT THAT AHAHA

Also Leah, you could write a story based on one of these wouldnt that be so cool AND PLUS (idk if you are a writer or not) YOUD MAKE IT SO GOOD TRUST ME AHHH

[jeonqqin]

hello i am on chapter 5 of man up and i’m literally sobbing it’s so good. i’ve never really read a college au that feels as realistic, raw, and original as this. i am so moved by the plot and the dynamic between all of the characters. i feel like i am living in the series and each chapter has left me wanting to know what happens next more and more. i’m cramming for finals right now so i’m not reading as much or as fast as i’d normally would, just i just wanted to send you an ask because you are a FANTASTIC author. fantastic is even a understatement. i can see how much your pour into your work and i admire the hard work and dedication. hope you are doing well!!! and thank you for giving me something really really good to read :-)))

IM SORRY I TOOK AO LONG TO REPLY TO THIS BUT I COULDNT PUT MY FEELINGS INTO WORDS WHEN I SAW THIS 😭

I try to keep it as realistic as possible (from my own experience as an American college student) but I know people have very different experiences so I’m also trying to keep it kinda vague w classes n stuff

BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE YOU REALLY PUT A BUG FAT SMILE ON MY FACE 😘

[spadesinglasses]

Agents of SHIELD (Series)

I finally finally finished the series. Figured a reaction post would be nice to air out all my sentimentality about the show.

Disclaimer btw, throughout this post, I would be writing shit that I hate. It might include character hate from specific situations to seasons. If you don’t want to read people hating on your fave characters, click away. If you want to change my mind about my hate, please just move on, we’ll just be wasting each other’s time.

Years ago I stopped watching AoS around season 5 episode 3.

Just this week I decided to pick it up again from the start. It was a roller coaster of emotion. From having to go through Season 1 again and how different they all are, dealing with Grant and the other arcs.

I’ve rewritten this post so many times now. One time I would be writing so much, even doing it per season only to delete it all and do it per arc, only to again delete it all and start over again.

I don’t know anymore how to write this down. But ya know what, I’ve never been that serious or technical with my reactions. So i might as well just whine about it lol.

So here ya go, a rant.

In my blog I gifed a total of 3 scenes for AoS.

The Spy’s Goodbye.

Hive and Lincoln’s death.

and Enoch’s death.

A lot of scenes made me sob like a fatherfucker but these three was too much.

The Spy’s goodbye scene was a bittersweet good bye. Not seeing Bobbi and Lance anymore was such a devastating reality, but it’s good to know that at least they do not die or sth tragic like what they did to Triplett.

Hive and Lincoln’s death was devastating in a way I wasn’t expecting. Daisy’s acting during that scene was fucking too much. THAT SHIT HURT. Lincoln’s sacrifice was something of an expected scene but god does it not have to be like that.

ALSO Hive just taking it all in, letting his death be is the most unexpected thing there. To him just saying that he just wanted connection, to make the world better was fucking sad. I understand what he said, Lincoln did too. 

Enoch’s death was fucking unappreciated.

His death was silent, he died without his best friend by his side, without Jemma, without even Deke. No, he was left with Daisy and Coulson who if I remember correctly, didn’t even have that much scene with him.

And how he just accepted it and understand that It was a necessary sacrifice was soo fucking bad.

HIS LINE ABOUT ANY OF THEM SACRIFICING THEIR LIFE FOR HIM? AND HIM JUST WAS SO SURE ABOUT IT? IT HURT BECAUSE ITS A LIE.

Y’all can tell me how the crew can do that sacrifice for Enoch, but it won’t change my mind. None of them barely even tried to understand Enoch in more ways than what was just presented in front of them.

Maybe its the curse of being a minor/side character, but that shit was sad. I wonder if that sentence was more for himself, to comfort himself in his death than him being confident about it.

Again, y’all can fight me about it, tell me off how wrong I am but nope nope nope.

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warning : Mackenzie Daisy Hate 

Now I can’t exactly remember what season or arc it was anymore. If it was during the lighthouse with the kree arc, or after or before, but damn Mackenzie really pissed me off.

His hypocritical holier than thou attitude pissed me so much. He’s a conflicting mess that adjusts his morality based on what’s in front of him. Everyone going against Elena was a fucking hard pill to take because she really was in a different sphere compare to where the others are.

I see her as doing her best to fit in with the group but unfortunately she didn’t just have that same experience with the others to be on the same wavelength as them.

Coulson agreeing with her was a small comfort. But Daisy and Mack and May? Dang that shit hurt.

There was a season where Daisy and Mackenzie annoyed the fuck out of me. I couldn’t stand a scene with them on it. I just can’t remember it much. I think it was after the framework scene.

Now that I finished the entire series, looking back to it, it’s not exactly OOC of them to act that way. But it sure was hell annoying and just ugh.

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warning : Fitz Hate

This portion would be ranting about how sucky Fitz became after his trauma. I’m not even technically talking about what Fitz did to Daisy with her limiter and his whole “Oh Dark Fitz is doing all this bad shit, oh no wait its me all along” schtick.

I’m talking about how he responded to Deke throughout the series.

He was shitty to him. I’m not sure if its because of his immature ass, his fucking issues with Nazi Fitz, or whatever. He was shitty.

Deke did his best to connect with Fitz in anyway possible, DEKE IS STUCK IN A GODDAMN WORLD HE DOESN’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT, A SIMPLE SOFT WORLD EVEN COMPARE TO HIS OWN WORLD, and for Fitz do be that shitty to him?

I don’t even think there was one scene where Deke and Fitz even did not butt heads off.

YES them bantering, sniping at one another can be funny but damn was it draining after Deke chose to stay behind.

Deke did his best, but let’s face it, only Jemma truly accepted him in the group.

Not fucking Coulson, not fucking Mackenzie or May, not even Daisy and Elena. SPECIALLY not fucking Fitz. I hate what he did to Deke, and I hate all of them for not reaching out more.

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive Fitz ever anymore.

I truly enjoyed his character but after framework, or it was just too much.

Yes, he was traumatized by his own actions in the framework, all of them are but goddamn.

I don’t even want to drag Sousa in this but we can all agree that they all embraced Sousa quicker, and much warmer than how they all did with Deke. 

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I think the arc I hated the most was the Lighthouse/Kree arc. The crew acted so fucking ignorant despite seeing what the circumstance is. They acted in ways that could’ve endangered the lives of the people who live in the Lighthouse, and yes sure if they solved the problem none of that would’ve happen in the first place but fucking hell they were all so ignorant.

Mackenzie’s shit with the guy with the baby was fucking unnecessary. I hated that scene so much.

Let’s talk about Season 7 which was fucking great.

After the seasons I felt meh about because of reasons written above, special mention to season 5 and it’s shitty ass, let’s finally talk about good stuff.

Let’s talk about young Malick first. Freddy opening that door was a fucking revelation. At this time I didn’t know he’s a big baddie, but goddamn was the actor so fineeeee. Like literally I was on my phone when the scene came up, and when I looked up, my jaw dropped.

ALSO LET’S TALK ABOUT THE COMICAL SEXISM AND RACISM IN THE SEASON. 

Time travel to the past has always been an iffy plot for me. Because I don’t really wanna deal with people being sexist and racist out in public, (pfft as if the 21st century was any better about it)

But they deal with it with a comical spin. Daisy and Mack threatening shitheads back was fucking awesome. THE SCENE WITH THE WHITE DEFENSE GENERAL WAS MAGNIFICENT EVEN. DEKE WAS SO FUCKING DONE WITH HIM. HAHAHA.

In season 7 the editors really had fun changing the title sequence to accomdate each time period. It was really great!

Let’s talk about Daniel Sousa, our cinnamon bun of a man who is the only one that will now hold the title “Man out of Time” now that Steve Rogers time traveled his ass back for some fake ass moving on shit.

UGH I THINK WE ALL FELL IN LOVE WITH DANIEL SOUSA IN THIS SEASON. His go to attitude and just so ready to be with Daisy was fucking great. I love Daisy and him together. After all the shit that Daisy went through, FUCKING FINALLY SHE FINALLY GETS THE HAPPY ENDING SHE DESERVESSSSS.

I want a Daniel Sousa myself. He seems to be like a traditional man who isn’t sexist and racist and homophobic ya know. (side eyeing some traditional male actors who I thought would not be shitty only to be proved wrong by them)

Anywho their kiss was fucking satisfying. And I hope that they will fucking have a great long life with Kora. 

OH I WANT TO MENTION AGENT PIPER AND AGENT DAVIS BEFORE I END THIS REACTION.

THIS TWO DUMBOS ARE FUCKING GREAT. Still not sure about reviving Agent Davis as an LMD but at least they didn’t keep it a secret that he isn’t a real person anymore.

OH SPEAKING OF AGENT DAVIS.

I shipped him one with Agent LT Koenig. I know Davis is already married and probably has a child based on his interaction with Elena but daaang.

ALSO ALSO I WANNA SAY THAT THE ENDING WHERE ELENA IS WITH DAVIS AND PIPER? THAT WAS FUCKING GOOD SHIT.

Earlier I wrote something about Elena trying to penetrate the Coulson group but not exactly being able to?

Honestly, it makes sense to me that Elena is closer to Piper and Davis than she is with any of the core 6. And I truly love the fact that Davis and Piper is Elena’s new squad. I wish they interacted more honestly.

Also I miss Agent Fox, he was a fucking cutie. Agent Keller was also damn hot lol.

I think I’m done. I can’t think of anything more to say. Oh wait maybe the bit where the guy who acted as young Garrett was actually the son of the actor of old Garrett. Lol I was shooked when I watched them have the same smile. It was eerie without knowing they are father and son lol.

Okay im done, I’m happy that I finally finished AoS. I miss the scenes where they still reference the MCU movies but it seemed like after the gravitonium arc, they didn’t do any of it anymore. Sad truly.