#im loading up the queue as we speak :)))

[deflvwered-a]

Ok ik the last like 80 times I've said I'm gonna try to be here more I disappeared again but I swear this time it's true 😭

[fagdykemuppet]

ok i havent done it Yet but i plan on compiling a bunch of ben pics and loading them all in the queue to be a once a day thing. but until then id like to make a little introduction to our dear ben christo/the face behind our beloved ifrit ghoul! mainly because i already wrote something up somewhere else and i'd figure it'd be easy to just translate it all to one big tumblr post instead of doing school work. (update: it was fucking not) note: i have not listened to everything that he's ever done (and actually not a lot of this stuff) and i will miss some stuff but it's a start. if anyone wants to give stuff to put on this post i'd be more than happy to include it + i may update it as i learn more. ok cut incoming. warning for talk about unmasked ghouls if that's not your thing i guess. but also why are you here if its not.

okay so as we all know, ben christo is the face behind our beloved ifrit ghoul! but for those that don't: he played the touring lead guitarist for the band ghost in 2017! but this is all fairly surface level stuff, and i will not be going into much detail, if you want to look into it more just look at ritual footage from 2017. and if you're somehow not here from the ghost side of things hi. i'm sorry this is probably confusing, just ignore it. or dont and get into ghost bc ben played a ghoul in 2017. your choice

but with that out of the way, onto the real reason im making this post!

to get them out of the way, here are some links. (website, insta, twitter, facebook, linktree, youtube, spotify playlist, spotify profile, apple music)

so for some basic info that everyone that knows anything about ben will know: he is the guitarist for sisters of mercy. i don't personally listen to this band, but i do know that another one of the ghouls, the face behind aether, chris catalyst, was also a guitarist for the band. ben has been the guitarist since 2006, and also i think backing vocals. (links: spotify, facebook, twitter, website, (this thing is so fucking outdated but im putting it here for comprehensiveness), apple music, amazon music)

diamond black: this one is a band i do listen to, he is one of the founding members, the lead vocalist and guitarist! used to just be on guitar, but the lead singer (jaakko turunen) recently stepped down and now ben is fronting it. this band also includes another ghoul! jan-vincent velazco (aka vinnie) was the earth right before mountain/hayden scott, and is the drummer for diamond black! they've been around since 2017. and, fun fact, at the time of writing this post they're going on tour in a month with esprit d'air (which vinnie is also the touring drummer for. doing double time). go get tickets if youre in the uk area!! gogogo!!! theyre cheap, only ~£25!!! (links: spotify, website, insta, facebook, twitter, apple music, youtube, buy on amazon music)

speaking of esprit d'air: did you know ben did a collab with them? yep! dead zone off of oceans! (other links: lyric video, buy digitally, buy on bandcamp, buy on amazon music, listen on apple music)

next up is his work on raymond watt's PIG. from 2018-2019 he was a member of the band, going on tour (along side vinnie who was on drums) and even doing some riffs on the album risen (and the ep prey & obey). i haven't listened to these in particular, but i do like some of raymond's other work. (prey & obey: spotify bandcamp amazon apple, risen: spotify, buy it on bandcamp, buy it from metropolis records, buy on amazon, listen on apple music)

AKO (pronounced A-K-O. dont make the mistake i did and pronounce it as a word): i listen to this one. i don't know a lot about it, though. from what i've read it was formed in 1998 and disbanded 2005, reuniting briefly in 2010. (links: spotify, bandcamp, listen on apple music x, buy on amazon music x)

night by night: i know nothing about this band other than what i've read. it was founded by ben in 2008 and he plays lead guitar and does backing vocals! also i think vinnie mentioned being in the band at some point but i honestly cannot remember. (links: spotify, twitter, apple music, amazon, facebook, youtube. they used to have a website but i cannot for the life of me find if its still up bc all the links im finding are dead)

last thing ill be mentioning here is his work on lord of the lost's 2021 album judas. he contributed lyrics, guitar, music and vocals for argent (lyrics and co-wrote music) and still life to die for (lyrics, melody, vocals and guitar). (links: spotify x, amazon music, apple music, youtube x, bandcamp x)

there's obviously a lot more stuff he's been in, i just lost steam after working on this for a few days + even then i don't think i could cover everything he's been in i feel like im learning new things everyday. i'd suggest doing your own research + if theres anything you'd like me to add to this post just let me know!

[1-800-i-ship-it]

Do you think there's something between Khun and Baam?

I definitely see some chemistry and possible sexual tension 🤔 I definitely think there's more to their relationship.

I've read loads of comments recently about how their relationship is toxic. That Khun isn't there for him emotionally and doesn't really care about him. I don't think that at all.

I also find it weird that they focus so much on Khun and his feelings/actions towards Baam when Baam acts similarly to him! He even hugged him after reuniting at some point I'm sure!

hi anon!

okay absolutely YES yes the gay subtext? the homoerotic subtext??? it is there and i think khunbam is so real haha

FKAJDLF YES U GET IT THE CHEMISTRY AND TENSION- YEAH YEAH ASDHFKJWELF (fun fact my queue tag is a quote from khun to bam "so at least tell us when you go somewhere so i can chase anytime" aight yall if that aint gay idk what is)

oof :( i unfortunately cant speak much about recent chapters bc im actually not caught up yet rip i think im only one ep past the first hiatus but when i catch up i'll think about that; i find it a little difficult to believe that their relationship is toxic, i think it might be miscommunication or smth but overall they do care for each other very much so if there is some sort of issue, hopefully it gets resolved (and we got fics while we wait >:D)

AASDJFKL yes yes bams affection to khun! the way his smile lights up when he sees him! its so precious <3 YES THEY DID HUG AFTER REUNITING ALSO ALSO THE S3 EP 66 HUG (do i have this ep number memorized? yeah)

and the reunion hug!! not pictured but im def sure it happened, also love rak just chilling there xD

thanks for the ask! have a nice day~

[closedspeciesdrama]

I figure it's time I come on here and sort things out. Apparently none of you had ready my journal about the commission situation. I dont OWE a single comm older than almost a year. Ive just never had a clear queue in 2 years, meaning a constant work flow. This has caused strain on me, my relationship, and my actual life SO I decided it was time to stop drowning and start refunding. I had full intentions to finish every single commission and I have done a CRAP ton of comms so (Continued)

(Pt 2) it’s not like Im taking money and giving nothing. It’s just the sheer numbers I am working with make the fact I finish 3-4 things in a week makes it look like I do nothing. Yes my tablet was broken and I didn’t have it for 3 weeks. That is true. I had to get money to do that so I used a different broken tablet to fight to color those and put it out, but I still ended up having to borrow money. But thats besides the fact. The reason I hadnt been refunding till now is because (continued) 

(Pt 4) I have refunded 5 Commissions already with the ampha adopts I made, and Ive been noting more and more people. I plan to make 2 more sets of adopts to help this since my job apparently isnt quick enough. ALSO Id like to say when there is an issue I address, I update my queue journal with EVERYONE TAGGED, so you cant tell me I dont reach out. Just because I dont note 53 individual people, doesn’t mean there is 0 communication. Any people that reach out I give them in depth (continued)

(pt 5) accounts of whats going on, and I have no problem doing so. People ask me and I answer, its something that happens. Idk why you cant come ask me if it’s such a huge issue. You had enough nerve to commission me, why do you have no nerve to speak to me a 2nd time about your commission? I dont bite, even if youre rude to me. ALSO, about spending. 90% of my adopt money and comm money is food, gas, and dog stuff. I spend at most 70$ every 3-4 months for dainty stuff only. (continued)

(pt 6) I dont spend luxury money hardly ever because I have no money to spare. And when I do spend on dainties, it’s in sacrifice to some food. I have bough clothing recently for my job, food, and stuff for our dog. You dont know my living situation and my spending habbits so if youre going to bitch about my spending, do so correctly and stop lying about things you have no idea about. We dont even have use of washing machines or our kitchen sink here so…we have to spend loads of money. (Cont.)

(pt 7) SO in summary, I am refunding people, my oldest owed comm is almost a year old, I hardly leisure spend 90% of my earnings go to food, dog, clothing, and living, and I am under extreme stress with my mental health, relation ship, and life due to having a full plate of commissions for 2 years. (Its been full because I panic for money and take on 10 comms at a time, which I did out of desperation). Im tired of the false statements so now if you continue to rant, be correct at least. - Mizu

Didn’t get part 3Cleaned up Queue of Mizu stuff. -pet

[kakashi-hatake-lover]

It's funny how life plays out sometime. Every life motivated by the push and pull of events around them. Kakashi's life has always been a journey he had very little choice or control in. Ordered how to behave, how to fight, where to go. Even when he tried to carve out his own path the current of life pulled him back to a path filled with guilt and loss.

But life, like water continued on through the storms of enraged oceans and soft trickles of forgotten streams. Life, it was tiring sometimes but kakashi took each step forward, whatever life threw he had survived, grown, broken many times, but survived.

His goal in life ever changing now focused on trying to improve the well being of his shinobi. Give new generation a future of freedom and choice, and offer support to those that suffer.

Being Hokage however had changed his life as much as he privately disliked it. The weight of village was heavy indeed. Although, Shikamaru does allow him the few moments to slip away.

Paperwork is his life now. Kakashi finally understood why the review team would scold him for late submissions. God, he was getting old.

Today's mundane trauma was the report system had crashed. And, so kakashi was sat his computer diary was stuck in the cycle as it loaded and crashed because there were no documents coming through. No, thats a lie. One report in the last 3 hours was successfully logged. He had been assured that calls had been made to IT, but kakashi was never one to just sit and idly wait.

He spun in his chair, allowed it to return him to facing the desk. The computer still loading. With new found motivation he finally picked up him phone and shuffled his was closer into his desk. He didn't have to call, him calling wouldn't suddenly resolve the issue and every report would ping onto his computer, hell if he so wished he could call the director personally.  he knew that. But~ but he wanted to call. And Kakashi cherishes each small freedom he gets, with that in mind he finally dialled and silently hoped to hear the voice he wanted to hear on the other line.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise that he would be filed into a virtually queue with the distorted jingle far too loud for any comfort only to be interuppted by a robotic female telling him his number in the queue. 7 to be precise.

"Good afternoon IT support, Olivia speaking."

The soft trill of Olivia's voice pulled kakashi from his book. Phone minutes ago abandoned to enjoy the wait music alone was now back in Kakashi's hand, pressed firmly against his ear. Even though he was alone he tried to restrain the smile that blossomed from his heart. He found himself suddenly standing, talking was always better when upright and alert.

"Olivia, Hi. It's uh~" he hesitated.

"Mr Hatake!" The young woman sounded as joyous as always. One couldn't help but feel the warmth she effortlessly radiated. Kakashi knew she would be smiling. He could hear it in her voice, she always greeted that you were an old friend, and she held you dear to her heart. Perhaps even a little nieve to the trials the world relentlessly threw. Kakashi admired that~

"Mr Hatake? Hello? Can you hear me?"

"Hm, yes sorry. My mind was a bit distracted...how are you?"

"I'm doing adequately~" Olivia chuckled. "To has been bit of a stressful one. Had a small cry over my lunch. But its all settling now, just got a backlog of reports that need pushing through."

Kakashi perched on his desk and propped his phone between his shoulder and ear which allowed him to fold his arms over his chest. "What happened?"

On the other end he heard Olivia let out a heavy sigh. "No idea, but the servers have been restarted. So all I know is the issue is resolved now. There should be a correspondence coming out to the shinobi and an issue report made for the Hokage. I imagine he's fuming! How are you?'

"Well about that. You said the issue is resolved, but my computer is still not pulling through any reports." Kakashi turned to peer at his screen the rather patronising sad face was still very much visible. On the other end the muted sound of typing began.

"Oh, let's see. Which archive are you trying to access?" It was amusing to hear the switch from cheerful to professional.

"Well at the moment its A rank archive. I refresh the page it says its fetching data and then that sad face appears."

The typing grew faster and louder all the while Olivia mimicked kakashi's words under her breath. "Okay, unfortunately I don't have access to the A rank archive to check~ and my manger is not at his desk...hm. oh! Im just going to put you on mute, I know where I can check. Is it okay if I put you on mute? Or would you prefer the hold music."

"Anything but the hold music."

"Okay hold tight I'll be back before you know it!" With a genuine giggle the line went silent. And so kakashi waited. He wondered what kind of person this Olivia really was, to talk so casually and sound as if she gave a damn. She sounded young, well younger than himself. Was this her first job perhaps? Still fresh and fully of hope. What did she look like, her hobbies and interests?

"So!" The line blew back into life. However the heavy breathing and pained wheezing told a whole story. Kakashi felt a stab of concern.

"That was the first time I've ran in months. But I asked one of the jounin live testers just to check for me and the A archive is all fine now so you shouldn't be having any issues. So, my next question to you Mr Hatake auditor in the hokage building, have you checked your Internet connection?"

Of course he has checked his Internet connection. But, then  had he? Slowly kakashi turned to face his monitor. Surely it can't be his connection? Can it? He let his eyes drift to the bottom right corner, and there. As plain as day the Internet disconnected symbol.

"Oh, well would you look at that." He flushed, he could feel his stupidity arise with the embarrassment. But with all his training his voice remained impassive. That's all that mattered. She couldn't see him facepalm and slump back in his chair.

Laughed erupted between the pair, kakashi finally took his place in his seat once again and made quick work or reconnecting his Internet. He'll never get used to this new system hes sure of it~"

"If it makes you feel any better, I spent the best part of 2 weeks not having access to one of the support channels we use. It was because I was using the wrong email...are you back online."

Kakashi smiled, refreshed his webpage and within seconds the diary sprang to life. A days worth of work flooded every crevasse. "We are back up and running." He opened the first report and scanned the details, oh the joys of paperwork!

"I'm glad we got that fixed. This will be the last time we speak probably, Mr Hatake."

The blunt statement pulled Kakashi away from his work. That was very unexpected. "Why, where are you off to?"

"The company are making some changes. So I'll be moving to support the Hokage. I dont know if he has been made aware yet. But management found out he was calling this support line alot, which isn't right. Although I have no idea who he is has been speaking to. So they are setting up a private support within the Hokage office. I was offered the position! Ill be testing software too within the actual office environment too. Its all very exciting. Maybe if the Hokage isn't strick ill be able to help others in  the main building! But that is completely out of my hands."

"I have no doubt our paths will cross." Kakashi couldn't help the amusement that filled his heart. She still had not cottoned on. Perhaps it was time to tell Olivia before it was too late? But where would the fun in that be. "When do you transfer?"

"Hmm technically in a few weeks. But I go on annual leave from today, and I have been advised that once the Hokage is informed I may start sooner rather than later. Oh~"

Shuffling over the line pulled through the line. Olivia's voice became muffled, it seemed she was speaking to someone.

"I do apologise Mr Hatake, I need to let you go now." Her voice hushed, into a strained whisper. " my manager just told me off. But! I hope you have a lovely day and maybe I will see you soon? Bye!"

"Yes, I hope so too~" the line had already disconnected.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Heyo boo Ali: thanks for Rocky wrangling with me today, you're now also his fave so, add that to your tally Carly: its k i had fun Carly: hes a cutie & cool kid Ali: me too Ali: yeah, he's alright, but cocky enough so I ain't telling him Ali: dunno where he gets that from 😏 Carly: ha Carly: yea idk Carly: no clue Ali: i'm sorry Ro was being off btw, I'm working out why but trust it wasn't you, babe Ali: been neglecting her lately, everyone wants a piece of me Ali: hard life Carly: idc its me too Carly: nobody wants a piece but you Ali: I just told you that ain't true, and Rocky is ruthless, he called one of my customers a 'big bum witch' the other day Ali: no tip for me, thanks dickhead Ali: but I want all of you regardless Ali: willing to throw hands Carly: aw Carly: this town is full of big bum witches tho Carly: my ma back for one Carly: but are you willing to use those hands for good too or Ali: awks if that was your Ma, like hey gurl, I think you rock it Ali: your daughter ain't bad either Ali: you know it, IOU 'cos we couldn't make like we were in the backrow of the cinema Carly: unless she been lying about where she at i think youve avoided meeting the in laws again Carly: k cuz you kno i need to collect soon Carly: bored Carly: just back and zoned out so fast Ali: ain't even got exciting stories from their galavanting? fucking rude Ali: at least when we go AWOL we also go wild Ali: make things happen, lads Carly: my ma's good for nothing but hairspray and peroxide Carly: only use if i get beat up again Carly: my da's good for cash tho if you wanna get wild w me Ali: or you wanna single white female me Ali: which would be a disappointing outcome to say the least Ali: can't tonight babe, I've gotta have some sister time Ali: go hard for both of us Carly: k Carly: try not to miss me bad when shes talking about me Ali: oh babe, she will not, and if she does I'll set her straight Ali: gonna let the world know you're my 😇 Carly: whatever her issue shes gotta air it and youre her sister so you gotta hear it Carly: idc shes not gonna hurt me w it Carly: and setting peeps straight is the opposite of how you do, babe Ali: true Ali: idk what issue she could have though, you're a literal ray of sunshine Ali: true again 😏 Ali: ugh, imma miss you Ali: maybe i can sneak out when she's gone to bed, the 'rents too Carly: i miss you now Carly: cant hear my parents say shit Carly: i just wanna talk to you Carly: dont tell me maybe & keep me waiting tho Ali: i will Ali: promise Carly: i dont wanna make trouble for you Carly: w anyone Carly: you can stay w her if you need to stay Ali: You won't Ali: I can do both Ali: be back before first light Ali: even if I'll miss watching the sun rise on your face 😔 Ali: we've got the night, baby Carly: but you kno if ive got you for the whole night youre gonna fall asleep Carly: thats what im good at Carly: feel free to tell your sister thats why you like me ha Carly: fun & tiring its magic Ali: hmm, we'll see who wears who out first, babe Ali: and if I am that husband, then you'll just have to wake me up with morning sex like the good little wifey you are 😘😂 Carly: always bringing that confidence i like it Carly: k but if my parents wake up too you can explain its a duty thing yea i had to like Ali: i like you Ali: for so many reasons and imma show you all of 'em tonight Ali: fuck that Ali: stay out with me, its warm enough Ali: i'll trace all the constellations out with my tongue so you won't ever forget Ali: educational Carly: my ma is asking me what im blushing about Carly: i told her what you said but she's not a believer Carly: support my education bitch Carly: ha Ali: i mean, i'd offer to let her see the benefits for herself but Ali: not gonna win me any brownie points 'cos she won't take me up on it Carly: she dont kno what she's missing but i do Carly: wish you were here Ali: me too Ali: start the party without me babe, i don't mind Carly: too late if you do Carly: gotta get through this reunion some way Ali: they aren't making you watch a slideshow, are they? Ali: fate worse than death Ali: Maybe you could go to Ronan's? Lmao, he's been up in my pussy way too much since he found out about us...didn't think we were THAT loud but ok boy Carly: yea Carly: might do cuz same Carly: but what if i miss you he can really make a night of it when he wants Ali: Nah, I won't let you face that disappointment, babe Ali: my spidey senses will tingle like not on my watch, fuckboy Carly: aw Carly: you gonna come get me? Carly: thats no way to get him out your pussy babe fyi Ali: yeah Ali: I know but I like the idea of showing you off as mine Ali: but no sharing, he only gets to watch and be mad he fucked it up Carly: i like it too Carly: youre hot when youre oneupping fuckboys Carly: i thought i knew how to do it best but k youre flipping the script Ali: as long as i'm besting them i'm doing my job right Ali: gotta keep you on-board Carly: speak of the devil Carly: how he know i was alone & horny Carly: my parents have only gone to the shops its uncanny Ali: know your neighbours but bit stalkerish, pal Ali: i'll text him to fuck off, freak him out Ali: how does she know, ha, two can play this game fucko and I'm more committed Carly: ha Carly: you gotta Carly: hes smoking im gonna bum one see what line he tries to lay on before the text sends Ali: On it Ali: gotta let him know there's a queue to court the princess now and he's at the back, soz Carly: he likes hitting it from the back he wont be put off Carly: im gonna show him some of the hot pics i took of you tho Ali: when is he ever tbf? 🐶👅💦 Carly: true Carly: that fucking cute tho aren't i Ali: you know it babe Carly: hes talking to my da now Carly: kill me Ali: how fucking dare he Ali: knowing he has the upper hand with the man bants Ali: i know how to change a tire too! love me! Carly: if my ma invites him in for tea im out of here Carly: she will think hes hot under the collar for her & bitch thats my groundwork Ali: Run baby run Ali: what kinda moron is he tho Ali: coulda had a private show if you just waited, now its all saturday night telly and flat lager Carly: you kno i have nowhere to go if you dont want me babe Carly: facts Carly: he likes me now he cant have me what a fucking Carly: like i wouldve fucked you but im not getting w you Ali: i do, is this full sos crisis mode though? 'cos i need to be good for a lil while longer yet Ali: such a typical bloke move that Ali: bet he ain't the only boy in ur inbox, not a pun Ali: 'cos he ain't in mine like 🙄 Carly: its k your sister needs you Carly: i can keep walking Carly: loads of other lads on site as well as in my inbox Carly: & they arent trying to say hi to me before we get down to it nevermind my parents Ali: 😾 Carly: why so sad blue eyed boo Ali: i don't like how lads treat you Ali: i'm not jealous, like swear to god, even though i obviously want you all to myself, i get it Ali: but i'm not about how shit they are to you, even if you don't care, they should care to be decent humans Carly: thats not lads its everyone Carly: youre the only one treating me different Carly: they dont know how else to be Carly: made my bed babe Ali: nah Ali: you don't deserve half the shit you get, that's bullshit Ali: and even the rest, people just don't wanna try to understand or be good, heaven forfend they inconvineince themselves for one second, like Carly: if im a slag im a slag i dont get to put conditions on it Carly: if it was a film maybe Carly: but theres no romance coming my way from theres and i dont want it Ali: why can't you just be you? someone who likes fucking, among other things Ali: not romance just like...not being a cunt Ali: idk Ali: pisses me off Carly: cuz you don't run the world even tho you strut it like you do and i love it Ali: not yet, babe Ali: one day, and you can be my right hand woman Carly: yea? Carly: take me w you & ill take you to all your fave places k Ali: k Ali: we'll be fun forever, I promise you Carly: gotta be Ali: you know i like you even when you ain't tho Ali: don't tell Carly: who would i Carly: ronans got enough for his wank bank & nobody else is chatting to me rn Ali: exactly, ruins the illusion and fantasy when they realise i care about you Ali: so unsexy of me Carly: youre sexy to me Carly: idc what they think Ali: good Ali: me either Carly: i like you too you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i had my suspicions Carly: i dont have any subtlety sorry about it Ali: Don't be Ali: I love it Ali: not enough people say what they mean or want, ever Carly: waste Carly: k i wasnt shouting how bad i wanted to kiss you before i did but not cuz i was bothered about me Ali: agreed Ali: sometimes you can't know you want something until you've got it Ali: i get it Carly: you get me Carly: its weird Ali: 🔮 Carly: ha Carly: k what am i thinking now Ali: wouldn't be proper to say Ali: tut tut bad girl Ali: like how you think though Carly: fuck Carly: youre good Ali: 🤷 don't mean to brag but remember that phrase you'll be screaming it later Ali: such a Ronan line, I can't 😂 Carly: but true Carly: not like when he says it Ali: 😍 Carly: what you doing w your sister Carly: gotta live through that cuz bored Ali: Fixing my weave Ali: getting into a white girl dread territory over here Ali: then gonna do some 🔮 forreal Ali: get ready for me to be even more of a know it all baby Carly: cute Carly: tell me my future i got some shit from another neighbor & im waiting for it to kick Carly: hows it gonna treat me Carly: needing a good trip Ali: we'll see who gets the answer first Ali: you got anything for me? Carly: yea Carly: they mystery but i kno you arent scared Carly: & you got me doing a test run rn lying on here on the grass Ali: 🌌 be there before it fades away my space explorer Carly: if you find me at a bad end prob dont take it Ali: is one of the lads trip sitting you Carly: so he reckons but hes drinking so theres no trust Carly: & he gave me it Carly: his game could be me lights out idk Ali: keep texting me, okay babe? Ali: if shit gets too real, tell me and I'll come early Ali: my sis is cool now, she gets what we're doing, she was just confused Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Carly: you told her you like me Ali: 'course I did Ali: I ain't ashamed Ali: I'm proud Carly: youre gonna make me cry Ali: You're special, Carly Ali: You're gonna see Carly: I just wanna see you tho Ali: Me too Ali: I'm gonna make her some chamomile tea and then I'm coming, yeah? Carly: but thats not fair to her Carly: she's not gonna be a fan of me Ali: I've promised her more time tomorrow Ali: You need me rn Carly: but what if i want you to stay Carly: what are we gonna do then Ali: i'll stay until you're ready for me to go Carly: you mean that? Ali: yes Ali: promise, imma take care of you Carly: but theres nothing in it for you Carly: youve already got me you dont have to Ali: i wanna keep you Ali: and not just selfishly Ali: you gotta stick around, you're too cool to go anywhere, okay Carly: k Carly: im here & if you wanna be im not stopping you Ali: good Ali: i wanna be wherever you are Carly: i kept you pills back the lads didnt want me to but idc about them & you can follow me in now Ali: fuck them Ali: just me and you Carly: yea Carly: ill look after you too Ali: 😇 Ali: i know, i trust you Carly: idk if you should Carly: but i like it Ali: willing to take my chances Ali: you're worth it Carly: thats you Ali: i'm so glad i met you Carly: me too Carly: not that i met me thats weird Carly: you know what i mean Ali: i got you Ali: not high yet 😉 Carly: id seen you around before you guardian angel'd me that night Carly: thats weird too Carly: that i didnt see you how i do now Ali: it is Ali: you were always cute but Ali: idk, i can't claim to have seen this in my crystal ball Carly: thats cuz i wasnt cute i was a state Carly: & youd have more likely seen me sucking ronans dick Carly: look away babe you dont need to have that image in your mind Ali: don't need him reckoning he plays part in any of my fantasies, nah Ali: you can't not be cute, no matter how you try, soz babe Carly: you can't not be so sweet to me can you Ali: dunno Ali: not tried Carly: idk what id do if you did Carly: i got used to it Ali: got no plans to stop Ali: unless you ask me to, like Carly: thats not gonna be what i ask you to do Carly: trust me Ali: you can tell me all about it Ali: 5 minutes, tops Carly: okay

[nellsbeells]

starting wednesday im going to tag 'queued post' on all posts added to my queue (pretty self explanatory) because i'm going to Europe on sunday! it's a tour with my school and we'll be hitting spain, italy, and greece!! while i'm really excited, i won't be able to add more stuff to my queue while i'm over there so i'm loading it up as we speak. i'm going to try to keep it at six posts a day like it is right now but i might have to make it lower for the sake of time ^^;

[alwaysbesparkly]

07:30

I don’t think I ever experienced tiredness like this but oh well. We need to work in order to afford this crazy rollercoaster. 6 hours of work and then off to Amsterdam to meet Yael, who I never thought I would be meeting this soon because the distance Amsterdam – Israel isn’t the easiest one to break. But it’s actually happening after like what, 3 years of talking? But first, work. I will spare you the details of a work day with very little sleep and a lot of nerves. 

15:00

AMSTERDAM! I get out of the train on a very crowded Amsterdam Central Station. What’s new though? However, there are already a LOT of pink themed people for the Toppers in Pink (wow really?) concert that’s this weekend in the arena. I hop on a tram and make a pit stop to score the cheapest short dress at the H&M. It’s unusually hot in Amsterdam and I somehow thought putting on long jeans, long black thick Levi’s jeans, was a smart idea. With my newly bought dress I hop on another tram to the cat cafe. Is it weird to say that I am nervous? It has been ages since I met up with “internet” friends.

21:00

My cat-café date with Yael was genuinely lovely. What a sweet girl she is. Nerves weren’t necessary at all. Talking with her felt so natural and like we have been friends for years. And her purple hair – I am obsessed. I’m now in the hostel, waiting on Renske and Thomas to come back from grocery shopping because if you’re gonna queue all day you’re gonna need food. And drinks. And coffee. Loads of strong coffee. The metro ride to this hostel was quite a ride. We were surrounded by pink and drunk Topper fans. Nothing against them, but I don’t think I can see or hear the word pink anymore after this weekend. 

21:30

We are in the room and it isn’t even that bad. Renske and I claim the big bed, because… well because we are gonna meet Katy this weekend and we need a good night rest? Something like that. Anyway, Renske managed to arrange that we were all in the same room together and it actually worked out. We drop our stuff and go out to find something to eat. We end up at Domino’s, where the weirdest atmosphere is hanging. As soon as we have our pizza’s, we head back to the hostel where Patrick and Emma join us. The pizza was delicious by the way. 

22:00

Nervous. I am definitely nervous. And also exhausted. Dead exhausted. And we still have 6 shows to go. But I couldn’t be more hyped. 

06:00

Our alarm goes off a little bit later than in Antwerp, but you still can’t call it sleeping in. We jump in our outfits and head to the Ziggo Dome. I don’t think I’m lying when I’m saying that we are all a little bit nervous. Amsterdam is our hometown show and when you get up at a crazy time like this, you do wanna be the first. And we are the first. Number 1-2-3-4-5-6. I can finally breath a bit again and maybe sleep a bit again, because I am tired. 

08:00

“Why are we doing this again?” Is the little sentence that spooked around in my head this past two hours. Sleeping isn’t gonna happen anymore, so we kill the time with eating,  feeling sorry for ourselves, but most off all being very excited for tonight. After the Antwerp-drama, I make sure I feed myself every two hours because we don’t want that to happen ever again. 

12:00

On a bandage-mission I leave the queue to go to the hostel. I can’t deny that I’m not nervous leaving the queue, despite all my friends still being in it. I get on the metro, that’s again FULL of pink people. I’m actually scared of the color pink now. And disgusted by the beer smell. I get out at the stop, quickly change in the room and go downstairs to ask for a scissor to actually cut the bandages. The girl doesn’t speak Dutch so the conversation is partly English and partly hand gestures, but she eventually gets what I mean. 

15:00 

Two hours to go. The worst part I didn’t even tell you yet. We actually do not have our tickets yet. Our physical tickets that we NEED to get inside the arena. We still have to pick them up at the ticketbox, that won’t open until 4 PM. Originally it wouldn’t open until 5 PM, but I think after all the complain e-mails and tweets they received about that, they changed it to 4 PM. Thankfully it goes without too much stress. It’s now half an hour later and we actually have our tickets in our hand. Diamond Witness. Dropzone. Amsterdam. Ziggo Dome. 275 euro’s. The last time i’m just trying to forget. 

17:00

We are INSIDE. Well, not inside-inside yet, but we are in the hallway of the Ziggo Dome. Right across the merchandise AND close to the toilets, which is for me with the peanut-bladder, very nice. We have our blue-glittery wristbands on and have our VIP-bag with all the VIP-goodies. I’m already terrified of dropping that mug. 

19:00

A school class going somewhere. That’s how I would describe the queue. Arm in arm, two by two and in one long line we WALK (yes, actually WALK) the arena in and the dropzone in. We are actually the first to enter that dropzone. But still, I only have the feeling that I can breath again, when I touch the barrier. Mainstage barrier. Center Mainstage barrier. 

19:30

Tove! I had to get used to her music and style, but I start to really like her. And she’s so cute. 

21:00 – 23:00

“Hot ‘N Cold in dutch?” Im pretty sure I almost pushed my insides out while leaning so far over the barrier as soon as I realized she was asking it to me. Me. I didn’t know what was happening around me, I didn’t even see the big camera that was right in my face, I was just busy trying to make Katy understand what is “Hot ‘N Cold” in Dutch. Obviously the over emotional Cassandra broke down in tears after this. Bare with me. 

23:00 

My dear God. What a show. What. A. Show. I know that Katy likes, loves, Amsterdam and that she loves the legal weed and the coffee shops and what not, but I didn’t know she could be THIS happy during a show. And to not even mention all the laughs, smiles, interactions and.. weird hand gestures during California Gurls. I love her. 

00:00

With a huge ass smile Renske and I are laying in our EMTPY 6-PERSONS SHARED BEDROOM. Empty. Not one pink Topper fan to see. I don’t know how it happened the room is empty, but I’m not complaining at all. 

WITNESS THE TOUR: 25/26.05.2018 07:30 I don’t think I ever experienced tiredness like this but oh well. We need to work in order to afford this crazy rollercoaster.