#im losing sanity/silly i think

[volivolition]

✨ thinking of him thursdayyyy ✨ (<- said in a monotone deadpan with jazz hands)

[doomedpuppetyuri]

sorry for not posting art as much lately all i've been drawing are my shitty ocs. and they're not even of the fandom variety 💔

[petewentzisblack1312]

I was gonna ask you this anyway actually bc you know a lot of artists but I just kept forgetting bc adhd is kicking my ass rn but since you wanted asks: do you know of any cool online stores or artists selling stickers? im trying to decorate my new laptop and I bought a few on etsy but I wanna get more

made in a lab to answer this question bc all i do is look for artists that skew cool. i will also give artists that skew cute. some artists are in between these categories, that is, they have a cute artstyle with subject matter that at least at times skews cool. my metric for whats cool and whats cute is pretty much 'based on aesthetics if this were being sold at a basement show in the 90s to 00s would someone get called gay'. if the answer is yes, its cute. if the answer is no, its cool. i dont know if this makes sense but im gonna use this categorizing anyway. i will tag the artists who are on tumblr but otherwise im naming everyone by their instagram handle because thats where i look at art and im on my phone and cant link everyone without losing my sanity

coming back after writing this list i have GOT to put this under a cut

@cursedluver: cute/cool, mostly cool to me, very bright and colourful and his starpions are really fun

ummmheather: cute/cool, mostly cute but shes got some stuff thats silly in a more cool way if that makes sense.

strikegentlyco: cool, they only recently started making stickers so the selection is a bit limited but they do have lots of enamel pins

sheselle: i would say firmly on the cute side of things in aesthetics but i think her sense of humor can be interesting. new to me though. i think you will really love some of her stuff and not really be into others.

@sweatermuppet: cool, lots of queer political stuff

luluvanhoagland: cool but with a soft artstyle so it feels cute.

@sofftpunk: cute/cool, lots of lgbt stuff

thegraveyardrave: mostly cool, they do have a tumblr blog but its specifically for clownposting so i will not tag him

leestrawberrryshop: cute with a cool tilt, mostly white and pink with just lineart but its an interesting scribble/doodle style. memey at times

prettybadco: cool but lately this guys been doing so much i think you should leave fan merch and its not bad but i dont watch i think you should leave and its not what i followed for. the original stuff is pretty neat though

catcoven: medieval. giving this one its own category on the grounds that thats pretty self explanatory and more precise than cool/cute

interrupted by finding a bee in my bedroom while drinking slightly warm tea (house is closed and the windows in my room (also closed) have mosquito nets)

@verdant-succubus: cool but there is body horror and guts and stuff so tread lightly if youre sensitive to that sort of thing.

radhia rahman (knivesmeow): cute but i feel cool when i look at her art

abprallenuk: cool but the colour palletes are strictly pastel

svv.art: very cool

smdefelice: cool. mostly does screenprinting but i am pretty sure they do stickers also. however the shop is currently closed for con prep do i cannot confirm

lilboatboutique: cute/cool has a homesick at space camp sticker which is currently on my water bottle and which i own in 2 variants as an enamel pin.

kerin cunningham: cool. emo. the goat. what else is there to say.

@darbydraws: cool. quite like her stickers although her bread and butter is t shirts. also emo

xraeart: cool. alt streetwear brand so. yknow.

skullingway: cool. theyre one of my favourite artists hands down. not a lot of stickers tho

jordandebney: cool. this guy makes the coolest stickers but most of it is for his subscription box which is fine. theres 2 stickers not behind a paywall

elrosabel: cool stuff, cute style. she kinda like. soft closed. to do polymer clay sculptures. but she might have reopened? i know shes selling stuff under this project again

piratesarrrt: cool but in a soft style. similar subject matter to luluvanhoagland. which is to say weird girl heads.

seankeetonart: cool.

@moonlume: cute. the concepts are cool though

jimibiscuits: cool. this is one of my favourite artists i have. so many of his pins. he doesnt have a ton of stickers though iirc

@8pxl: i am going to invent a category called 'pretty'. i love pixel art and this is my favourite pixel artist ever.

i gotta fuckin stop

go forth and get some stickers

[limerental]

I recently got back into witcher brain rot but all the tags are filled with people saying how shit the show is and how Cavil leaving is the end times cause he was apprantly the only thing keeping together the entire story where he is present for like 30% of the time, And its legitimately making me question my sanity. Like im fine with being obsessed with media thats objectively shit, hell most of my favs are absolute trash, but like TWN isnt perfect by any means but its not that bad right? Has all my media literacy gone out the window? Am i wrong for thinking this show is objectively good to peak mid? I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Yeah, it's a little goofy silly that it seems like so many folks have forgot concepts like

a) enjoying questionably good sometimes bad sometimes good media mostly for the community that can build up around that media (see: spn)

and b) not posting constant hate within the tags of the thing you now hate

Personally, I came to the Witcher universe through the show and came to enjoy several show-only elements of the universe, even though I enjoyed and prefer the story of the books. I wouldn't prefer a book accurate Dandelion or Fringilla or even Yennefer. I've gotten attached to the ways that TWN expanded or changed several character choices I disliked from the books.

Because frankly. The books are great! They're also occasionally the worst. They're not some literary marvel of the ages. They're good books! Entertaining! Have some deeply interesting characters and commentary and are very, darkly funny and are my favorite books, but there are sure as hell things I would change if I were to adapt them.

That's not to say I would adapt them anything close to the way TWN chose to lol but it's just a little absurd and telling to me that so, so many people seem deeply invested in a book series (or at least in the idea of their fave meathead actor liking a book series) that they rarely seem to have anything to say about except in the context of bashing the show

Anyway sorry, tangent lol personally I loathe the witcher netflix and also, I enjoy it dearly. I'll be as grouchy as anybody when they do some questionable shit to my book blorbos and situations, but I'll still be having a good time because I choose to.

The only thing that's really ruined my enjoyment of the fandom has been people with constant bad faith takes, zero media literacy, and people slurping at hcav's boots

[questionablepastries]

large vent

tw: suicidal ideation

I need to type this out for my own sanity. But also the entire purpose is on the off chance that someone reads this and, in some way, relates to what I'm experiencing. Not the entirety of it, but a part of it, would be enough for me to justify sharing my experiences. Normally, I would have written this out in a diary but something tells me that by sharing it and letting people they are not alone would be more beneficial than keeping this to myself. To preface everything, these are first world problems. All of this spiraling - ok first off my behavior towards what is really the most minor of all triggers is annoyingly blown over. All that happened was that someone i thought i could have befriended more given time and more chats- just one day decided i wasnt worth being (and i hate typing this) mutuals with.

What made me laugh was the idea of describing my lil hissy fit emotional tantrum to my boomer absolutely not online coworkers and they would all most likely laugh about it. But the more i thought about losing this mutual, the question i kept going back to was why? why was i blowing this out of proportion? what even caused this big of a reaction in me? well first off, i was really riding on the hope to get to know them better. i really wanted to be friends with them. the great thing about online friendships is that it eliminates any barriers that would be present if someone tried to make friends with you in person. you dont worry about smelling bad, looking weird, stuttering, bad posture, etc. so truly i was thinking if our interests aligned enough and we cracked some jokes we had something, that could blossom into something cool. instead it didnt and they just dropped me entirely out of nowhere, and me being my silly self thinks somehow its my fault.

honestly though im sure they were going through something - like they would constantly post about wanting ppl to unfollow them and me going oh that cant be about me surely, nah it was most definitely about me. i cant nail down what it was though, did i not reach out enough? did i joke too much? was i too little was i too much. unfortunately, with the lack of a physical barrier im taking this as a personal fault that I Really messed something up. Something about me as a person is inherently undesirable and therefore not worth putting in the time or effort to talk to -- there must have been something off about me for this to have played out the way it did, right? I keep running scenarios in my head like oh what if i reached out more, or what if i responded in a different way that one time -- as if it can change the outcome of what has happened but. all of this. all of this emotional self inflicting stupid reaction im having stems from my own struggles in real life to make friends. this has been a running trend all my 28 years (yeah 28!) and.. to bring myself back to reality and to keep my emotions from spilling over. I came up with a good strategy.

I always ground myself by saying to myself in a silly voice as if one would calm down a pet "are you punishing yourself for having become the person you are today due to your shitty environment/upbringing that you had no control over" and "are you punishing yourself for factors out of your control Again? eye roll come on now" and thats literally how ive been grounding myself this entire time whenever i get really uncomfortable with how i am as a person in real life. and yeah honestly my upbringing sucks ass it sucks soooo much. i have no extended family and it has never been more obvious since i became conscious as a toddler to this day that my extended family on both sides absolutely does not give a shit about me nor my immediate family. my immediate family being my mom and my sister. my mom and my sister are my ONLY family. side note and i mean this semi-jokingly: if you have a family fuck you. when my coworkers talk about their uncles or their aunts or their grandparents or how they were raised by their grandparents or how they hung out with their cousins and how they went on vacations, or how they spent time with their dad. i feel this massive vacancy in my heart that is a placeholder of what i want so desperately to have happened. i feel like those scenarios they describe to me are just not possible, families only exist on tv shows, and christmas specials, thats not a real thing. it has never been a reality for me. unrelatable. all of it. and as a first generation child from immigrants (lets not even get into my dad we havent spoken to him in over a decade) my only memories are of food stamps, being smelly in school because my mom could literally not afford the time to take care of me or afford a baby sitter, my stuttering, my inability to join extracurricular activities due to money, all of it added up to my ostracization throughout the entirety of my school years.

& as a child on welfare it was very much drilled into me that the only escape from poverty is through education and i took that very seriously. im a fucking scientist now i passed the national exam to get where i am. where i failed socially didnt matter to me back then as long as i had good grades, grades were All that mattered to me. and i succeeded. but not without some draw backs. ive always been an awkward person. i have a couple of friends few and far between in person. its literally three people that i keep in contact with in real life and i am extremely grateful that they reach out to me but its also like. i gotta do better lol one of them forgot my birthday this year and the other one only texted me 'birth' on my birthday, the last one he's a keeper - we're basically brothers and he always checks in on me, but he doesnt live in the same state as me. so all of that is to say. When this person broke mutuals it kind of made me, or rather for my own sanity, seriously re-evaluate my relationship with how i spend my free time, and who and what exactly am i placing value in. this person absolutely does not care about me and i dont expect them to. and given what little we had in terms of an online friendship i guess i let my hope of a cool friendship with them blind me to the reality of what we actually had. time and time again i have placed more hope and love into online individuals that do not reciprocate - and usually they just drop the ball on me. which is like ok. im sure i was either too little or too much i can never accurately gauge how intense i am due to, you know, Lack of Real Life Experience. oh right the suicide thing, so like for the longest time i struggled with suicidal idealization - it only stopped until i graduated about two years ago. In my pre-teens to late teens i told myself that if i was in the same scenario where my mom and my sister are my only family but we were well off i would definitely have killed myself.

I decided as a pre-teen that my only worth was how high i could get into my academics in order to lift my mom out of poverty. that was the Singular Only driving factor that kept me alive. kinda. damn that sucks to write out lol but its true! that was my mantra back then and i would repeat it anytime something shitty happened to me or someone was mean to me. im not sure where im going with this. i just wanted to get it out there, that i was and still am very lonely in person, and whats funny is that im not even like ugly im just average, i hung out with my sister and dolled myself up a bit for my birthday and we went to the mall and three guys hit on me unprompted so its definitely not a looks thing - SPEAKING OF when i got into uni and moved into an apartment with four roomates i was like this is my YEAR, im gonna go out SO MUCH im gonna walk around campus im gonna go out late and do school clubs!! and then covid happened. the apartment lease was worthless. i stayed indoors exactly the same amount as i always did only this time it was justified, but it sucked because that was the time i had decided i was going to break my cycle of staying inside holy shit that fucking sucked. and then my senior year of college i didnt need to stay in an apartment anymore because i was required to be in a hospital four days out of the week for training so i ended up back at my moms. i think there is something wrong w me tho bc im not saying it was being poor that led to me being awkward. but it didnt help, and im gonna go ahead and blame my lack of a support group - family wise, my entire life, on how uh. i came out. lately im trying to reel back how blunt i am. which. uh. hmm. i actually have a large language barrier with my mom. somehow i picked up on understanding spanish but not speaking it perfectly, it improved, im way better at speaking it now.

but i could hardly communicate with my mom while growing up, and she never expressed interests in my hobbies or who i was as a person, to this day i am and will forever be a 7 year old toddler in her eyes. she still shows no interest in me as a person or who i am. which is fine with me, ive accepted that she wont change, because she grew up in a more messed up environment and this entire time only until Recently, she had been on breadwinner providing for my two daughters survival mode. um. so , like i mentioned. that person breaking mutuals just shone a light on how, broken i am as a person? you would think, without physical barriers the sky is the limit when it comes to befriending people but no i still struggle i cant do anything right i suppose. i just need to focus on improving my life outside of online spaces. people online will reach out of they want to and can so im trying to lessen my hopes in general. and um. idk im at a loss for words currently. i simply dont know where to begin when it comes to , anything? living? hmm. i only just escaped school so i feel like i can breath - air for once. im no longer under the scary pressure of - if i fail at school im better off dead- ohh i think i know what i can add - offline people are WEIRD. ive had a couple of hiccups with friends irl that i literally dont talk to anymore! one of them became a misogynist red pill guy, another guy kept trying to touch me every time we hung out! and the last guy kept telling me to fuck off when i asked how he was doing!! hmmm. yeah this is just circling back to my current mantra which is to not be overly mean to myself for how i am currently due to my , situations leading up to now. I DONT KNOW. here's hoping..!! something !! anything is nice to me!! ohhhh i remembered something else. recently my coworker exchanged numbers w me saying something about haning out with other coworkers in the future. i am so desperately trying not to get my hopes too high up. always happens tho!!!!!!!! i get my hopes up when it comes to making friends both offline and online!!!!!! and guess what keeps happening again and again!!! HAHA………..can i have hope this time??? do u know once i tried reaching out to a mutual i wanted to befriend and get closer to (we were calling each other friends by this point) on Three Separate Platforms i knew they were active on only for them to Not respond to Anything i sent? AND i didnt even reach out three times in a row I Spaced It Out like a Normal Person. Only for Them to Tell me how they were having Fun in Their Friend Group of Other Online People talking about our Mutual Interests. Do you know how fucking stupid i felt at that moment. Oh im sorry am i not cool enough to be invited to that. Am i too stupid what is it about me thats so repellent??

I know its common courtesy to not be straight to people and tell them whats wrong with them but damn i wish someone would be straight with me and Not leave me hanging UGH. I realized at that moment tho that I never wanted to BE that desperate EVER AGAIN. I felt like such a stupid asshole holy shit. I never want to be that desperate for some onlines person attention ever again oh my god,, i dont think ill ever forgive them for that. its all on me though!!!!!!!!! mY FAULT!!!!!!!, for placing Value and i guess getting my Hopes up that i could make friends again WHOOPSIES i forgot im fuckin uhhh Ultra stinko Stupid Bitch who cant maintain any sort of relationship!!! back to the ditch on the side of the road i go to drink my stupid pond water like the unlovable unwarranted piece of shit nobody wants to hang out with again!!!!!!!! MY BAD!!!!!!! SO SORRY TO BOTHER. well its whatever i got money now, i have a job. and as much as i would like to say well earning money is all that matters right? its not. im a greedy greedy jealous little sniveling BITCH and my heart will never stop yearning for what others take for Granted. SO YEAH LOL. this has felt great to type out!! if you relate to any of that...um... Im sorry!!!!! we all in this together. but maybe not really im just gonna be kept at arms length with literally anyone i try to befriend offline due to me bein a little weirdo who cant relate to anything haaa,,, i want to end this on a positive note but fuck that! This is where im currently at and this is my current predicament! Will it improve? sure if i put some effort into myself and spend less time online and stop putting rakes on the ground to step on. i literally set myself up for getting hurt everytime ill figure out a way to make the pain hurt less.

[aphrogeneias]

https://www.tumblr.com/aphrogeneias/744217512800075776/ive-been-feeling-sappy-for-months-but-no-one-to?source=share

i feel the exact same way as your tags. i dont even wanna admit to some of the things ive done in my loneliness 😂

I know it sounds fucked up but im glad someone else gets it

Not being able to love and be loved, I feel like im losing my sense of who i am, just rotting inside my own shell

Sappy fics help me keep some of my sanity, hopefully it helps you too

I can hardly think anymore to try and day dream any of my own its been so long x

i think that writing and putting some of my feeling down on page has been really for me, and obviously reading other people's as well, god knows how many times someone's fics have helped me cope with my own loneliness and i'm really grateful for that

but i'm not gonna lie to you and say that sometimes it doesn't keep me up at night thinking about how i've never been loved the way i crave to be and most likely i never will, it's made me cry more than i care to admite, because as much as i like saying that it's fine, you can live without romantic love, i have family and friends who love me too... it's just not the same, and i feel like there's something intrinsically wrong with me for never being seen this way, like i'm the problem

and i really hate when people say "but it's going to happen when you least expect it!" but i'm always fucking expecting it, i've craved it since i can remember? lmao

so anyway, yeah, you're not alone in this. i'm holding your hand through the phone, at least we got silly words on the internet to keep us company

[hiseternalmayfly]

5, 11, 13, and 14 for the gush post!!

5. Gush about the little things your f/o does when they’re thinking really hard about something!

Answered here!

11. Gush about your favorite chapter/book/episode/scene etc. your F/O is in!

THIS WAS SO HARD TO CHOOSE BUT IM GONNA GO WITH THE FIGHT IN "DIABLO" IN TRI98

THE FIRST TIME VASH SNAPS AND REALLY LETS HIS ANGER OUT AND FUCKING THAT LINE "Diablo! You finally reveal your true face at last" FUCK THAT LINE IS SO FUCKING GOOD-- GOD THIS EPISODE IS SO GOOD. THE WAY HES SO READY TO TAKE HIS LIFE BUT HESITATES BECAUSE IF HE KILLS HE LOSES THE LAST PART OF REM HE HAS LEFT. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AND THE WAY HE LOOKS -- F U C K

13. Gush about your F/O’s personality!

Vash and his personality are so complicated. The way he switches between trying to make everyone laugh to trying to hold himself together with what little mental sanity he has left. When hes silly goofy hes a pure ray of sunshine but when the weight of the world is on his shoulders I want to hold him and tell him its all okay...........

14. Gush about how your F/O treats you (Are they protective? Loving? Are you the only person who gets to see their soft side?)!

He's probably too overprotective but he is also much softer and freer. He's more willing to just be himself, not overly happy but down drowning in despair. I let him have a place where he can just be Vash with no strings attached.

[alephnol]

Heyo! Hopefully everyone is doing well recently!, or soon to get well!

Sigh… umm

I know i probably shouldn’t be… but i feel so responsible for the shit that happened yesterday… if i had just not fucking… added him into the conversation without Any context, we would have been fine, No one would be hurt, No one would self blame to the point of talking suicide.., and I wouldn’t feel like i hurt my friends…

Sincerely. I dont know if you three will Ever read this, but please know im so fucking sorry, and unfortunately I cannot make promises because mistakes happen, and this migh repeat… (hopefully not but still…) i get it you two care about me, but i cant stand people deteriorating their mental health just because of a silly idiotic game/ joke that went very out of context… im sorry for defending yall, but listen… im ot sure if it’s obvious or not, but im only one person… you are all possibly in the millions… you all are worth more than i, on a species wide And social level, even if you cant see it. You matter. You all do… i matter too, but i care more about the whole, the other individuals, who like me, have problems blaming themselves… you all shouldn’t have to blame yourselves for things that in truth are Not your fault. Because listen,

Over time, i know this sounds dumb… but those individual situations build up, and build up, until we panic, lose sanity, so on so forth…

As someone who got REALLYCLOSE to getting clinical, i dont want that for yall. Its not healthy, and you all deserve way better. So please believe me when i say you all matter more than me. Please take care of yourselves…

Love yall, have a great daaay!!

@ashley-hitch @xxgamer-gurl-drawzxx i think yall need a serious hug and break

And please, if you ever need to vent to me, or rant, or whatever, please chat through my dms, you can get through this, I promise,

[curedeity]

Shogun Steel Episode 4:

-its time to have to deal with kite. Pray for my sanity.

-i love marus excited pose

-zyro explicitly asking shinobu to come along on the training trip is an adorable scene they robbed us of

-"beyblade is fun" "youre kidding" in this show apparently

-shinobu has a deeper voice than benkei

-maru better have lied to them and switched the lap number once. You know she did.

-they both hate losing. Game nights with this gang must be fun

-maru push them off the cliff for daring to contradict her. She couldve. I wish

-okay these twos conversations are actually really stiff right now. I hope they get better because right now its honestly a bit tough to listen to them

-zyro stop insulting benkeis burgers!!!!! Thats illegal!!!!

-maru and eight should pit their older brothers against each other more often

-"kite unabara. They say hes really good but never looked at his outfit in a mirror. Kinda like you zyro"

-honestly maru is the one who humiliated eight and it would be way funnier if kite tried to battle maru only to be hit with the fact shes five and he thus has no idea what to do.

-i really want to know what sort of mathematics they think kite is doing. Are they linear, polynomial, matrix, probability?? And what probability model is he using? Do i actually care? No

-none of these characters have poker faces

-maru how did you not see it was a defense type earlier??? Maru whered your competence go

-honestly id love a mathematical character where theyre just spouting bullshit and they know it. Thatd be me.

-im trying to think of something lukewarm to say about kite but honestly his character is just annoying for me. He has zero maturity. Hes being pretty easy to ignore though, thankfully for me

-synchrome time!

-guys. Guys. Hear me out. Maru and zyro synchrome. I know what im doing when i finish this series now.

-efrit finally causes some property damage in this series!!!! I was waiting for shit to break!!!!

-summary: maru got to be silly this episode so obviously a 10/10 for me but zyros battle with kite was pretty uninteresting. Eight shined this episode though as annoying as he is at least he got small moments of character depth. The beginning of this episode is honestly something i remember as one of my favorite parts of this series and that hasnt changed.

[starleska]

i'm not even being patient, you simply respond to all of my asks more than quickly enough <3!! they're pretty long so again, take your time ^^!! therapy can be sooo exhausting so please remember to take care of yourself nd everything <33!

i was talking about a TOTALLY different old man HAHAHA i've been watching a lot of ducktales 2017 and grew fond of both scrooge n flintheart through it lmaoooo,, especially the latter has very few redeeming qualities and is supposed to be insufferable but like,, im in love with the blorbo version of him that lives in my brain, LMAO

ohhh you just know he would REFUSE to do the animation if anyone else was obviously watching the screen as well- it's just for you <33! i imagine he wouldn't do it either if you're recording it, because he wants it to be only for you haha,, you think very hard about the unlock conditions for the specific animation but it seems completely random! oh well. (totally self indulgent note here but i am silly in public for a living and would totally blow a kiss back @ the animation or smth LMAO) and!!! ill look forward to seeing it!!! id reblog it but i only rlly have writing blogs on tumblr ughhhh maybe i should just finally make a selfship ramble one lol

the true sadness is that king candy never showed up in the second movie man </3 the chaos he'd wreck on the internet would've been very much entertaining LMAO !!! i'm glad you enjoy the phone idea as well :D!! you just randomly find notes from him in your tumblr drafts or your notes app! he'd be constantly watching you through your front camera and if he's unhappy with someone he sees, your phone will just start vibrating VIOLENTLY nonstop lmao. also something silly i immediately thought of; i don't know if this is something you're familiar with but in some dating sim apps you'll have like this little minigame where you can like poke the love interest and they'll have these little responses? god. brainrot. i would just poke his bald little head man HAHAHHAHAH

my asks just get keeping longer thank u for reading all this and hearing me out TT i should just write a little fic about this guy already but man english is NOT my native language and he speaks in a pretty specific silly way sometimes that i do not know how to replicate well,, doesn't help that ive only watched the english version once vs. the many other times ive seen it haha

hello again you lovely individual!! once again i must apologise for my delayed response. i received some pretty big news this week that's left me not so well, and i wanted to come back and reply properly when in a better frame of mind. thank you for your patience 🥰

OHHH oh my god you are so damn valid for this, i always thought Scrooge was kinda fine 😳 capitalists just hit different! and Flintheart is a GILF i'm not gonna lie 😂😂 Ducktales 2017 just gets you by the throat!! i remember being so head over heels for Gyro Gearloose (basic bitch that i am)…kind of interested in rewatching to see if another bastard catches my attention…but for real, isn't it wonderful when you love a truly dreadful character? whatever version you have of him in your head, i'm sure he likes you very much 😉

ahhh i feel all special 😖💖 honestly going a little down the darker path i kind of vibe with Y/N questioning their reality the more time they spend noticing these special animations…wondering if they're losing touch with their sanity, and becoming gradually more obsessed with figuring out exactly what it is about this arcade cabinet and its enigmatic, unique character…also hell yes!! you should absolutely make the selfship ramble blog, it'll make you feel so happy 💖💖 i admire those of you who can separate your blogs out, i just pour out my silly loves into one place and all my poor followers have to deal with the blorbo of the week 😂

we'll never recover will we 💔💔 like for real Ralph Breaks the Internet makes me sad for its lost narrative potential…if not King Candy, then there were several perfectly good character candidates to be put into a fantastic antagonistic role!! to truly show the power (and horror) of the internet!! the vibrating phone idea is so cute dfgfds;;; perhaps he could even track into your friend's social media and send them fake messages/texts to get them to leave. oh YES i knew someone very into…was it Mystic Messenger? that had that mechanic and oh it's adorable :3c

thank YOU for sending these lovely asks in and gushing about our favourite sweet-themed hacker!! i'm so sorry for being a boring monolingual person - you could and should totally write him in your native language!! do you have any clips? i love seeing how characters have been portrayed in different ways, and i'm curious if Alan Tudyk's lisping mob boss vibe has been carried across 👀

[sparklingchim]

addicted; m | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 2.9k

genre: pwp, established relationship, college!au, richboy!jk

rating: 18+

warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, nipple play, dumbification 😵‍💫, praising, size kink, tummy bulging, dirty talk, hair pulling, oc has bratty tendencies 🤨, name calling; slut, kookie is so handsome, spit kink !! , breeding kink, creampie, choking, googie's chain dangling in oc's face 🤩, slight overstimulation, jewellery kink? if that exists, cum play

summary: your boyfie jungkook fucking you silly.

a/n: im ovulating. that's my excuse.

masterlist

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

"Kinda want you inside me right now."

You look up at Jungkook, who's totally caught up in the movie playing on the laptop between your bodies.

It's a quiet Tuesday evening. Jungkook had come to your dorm just an hour ago, after doing his workout in the gym.

You had been waiting for him all evening along. You're alone in your dorm, Nayeon, your roommate, is spending her day at her boyfriend's place. It's been a boring day honestly, you've been lounging around in nothing but a black t-shirt from Jungkook after classes.

"Yeah? Want some cockwarming?"

"No," you say, propping your chin on his chest. "More like, want you to rail me." That catches Jungkook's attention. You bat your eyelashes when he sets his gaze on you.

That's all you could think about the minute Jungkook set foot inside your room. He looks hot tonight, has the cuddly boyfriend look on that has your mouth drooling for him. Men should just not be allowed to wear grey sweatpants. They do absolutely no good for the world - except leaving you thirsty for cock. Jungkook's also wearing a black cap. You love his hair, you really do but seeing him with a cap on does some things to you.

Jungkook's not even surprised at your boldness. If he got a penny for every time you asked him to fuck you, he'd be rich - that is, course, if you don't consider that the two of you haven't been dating that long and that, well, Jungkook is already wealthy of money.

"My girl wants to fuck?"

"Uh-huh."

And with that, he spreads his legs and drags your smaller body between him. Your back is flush against his ripped chest. Jungkook's manhandling has made his t-shirt hike up your thighs and your pink panties are perfectly on display for his eyes.

"Could've just told me to get between your legs," you mutter. You'd never confess how much you love it when he manhandles you.

"If you're such a big girl who can handle doing shit on her own, then surely you can get off on your own, hm?"

Oh no. That's not what you wanted to achieve with your brattiness.

"Mh-mhm." You shake your head in a pout. You grab his wrist and draw his hand between your legs. "Please?" You turn to look at him and bat your eyelashes again. You love doing it and Jungkook's loves seeing you pliant for him.

"Why should I?" he asks despite already inching closer to where you're aching the most. The pad of fingers place themselves on the damped spot of your panties. "Too stupid to do it?"

Your breath hitches at his slightest movement. "You just do it better." Your words are barely a whisper.

Jungkook's tatted hand, along with his rings that adorn his knuckles, disappears into your panties. Your legs naturally spread wider for him.

First rule established in your relationship: jewellery stays on during sex.

Jungkook loves wearing jewellery. Is practical obsessed with it. And you, on the other hand, are obsessed with the way how hot they make him look like. Jungkook is a fine fucking man, but his jewellery? His rings, chains, bracelets, earrings, his Rolex ? They got your pussy leaking for him.

Jungkook's got all the expensive jewellery that only rich folks could ever afford - which, weirdly enough, adds to the fact that they make you lose you sanity.

The times Jungkook planted kisses down your body and unintentionally - or maybe intentional after all, you don't know - grazed your pussy with his pendant? An agonising tease, but it made everything much more exciting.

"You're so wet baby," he whispers as he drags the pad of his middle finger across your pussy. "Why haven't you told me sooner, hm? Would've taken care of my girl immediately."

"You looked exhausted when you came in."

"Babe," he chides in a dark, disapproving timbre. You swear it's unintentional but you feel more arousal gushing from your pussy at his low voice. "Y'know I'm never too exhausted to please my sweet girl." Oh. What a beautiful thing to have whispered in your ear. Your pussy likes it too.

"Well," you begin, voice already hoarse cause of your dry throat. "Then you'll have no problem fucking me dumb, right?"

Jungkook chuckles. "What kinda question is this?"

"Oh!" you squeak when Jungkook plunges two fingers inside you. A pathetic whine of Jungkook's name flees past your lips. Your hand bolts to his forearm, nails leaving crescent on his skin at the sudden stretch. 

"Silly girl." Jungkook crooks his fingers. "Asking me to fuck her and then acting so surprised." You such a gasp in when Jungkook starts moving his fingers. He drags them along your sweet spot, the tickled feeling makes your toes curl in ecstasy. 

Your head rolls to the side. Jungkook's heartbeat drums right into your ear. Despite of the obscene scene that plays out right in front of you, the soft beats of Jungkook's heart grant an almost romantic, intimate ambiance.

"Feels so good." You sigh and crane your neck to look up at him. Jungkook's eyes are dark. The second his stare meets yours, a devilish smirk curves his pink lips.

"Yeah?" he asks in feigned sympathy. "You like my fingers?"

"S-so much."

Jungkook nudges your elbow. "Let me see your tits, baby." You sit up a little, lift Jungkook's black t-shirt over your head and toss it on the floor.

He spits on one breast and watches it trickle down over curve of your boob before rubbing it over your pebbled nipple. Your thighs tremble at the added pleasure. With his hand so close you can read the time on his Rolex. It's shortly after 8 pm.

"I love playing with you like this." He rolls your nub between his digits. "My dumb girl lets me do anything to her, doesn't she?"

" 'm your toy," you moan, moving your hips along his rapid movement.

"That's right, baby," he praises. "Just mine." His hand is cupping your jaw now, thumbing over your swollen bottom lip. "So pretty," Jungkook mumbles in your ear. You part your lips and close your mouth around his thumb. An approving sound rumbles from Jungkook's throat. You mindlessly swirl your tongue around his digit as Jungkook's starts fucking you faster.

"You gonna cum for me?" Jungkook can feel your walls clenching around his fingers and adds another to it.

You squeal around Jungkook's thumb, eyebrows tightly furrowed with how much pleasure you're getting.

Jungkook withdraws his finger from your mouth and tilts your head towards him by your jaw. He wants to look at you when you cum.

Wet sounds of your pussy fill the room, alongside your desperate moans - and the movie still playing in the background but that was already long forgotten between the two of you.

"That's it. Cum for me, babe." Jungkook squeezes your tit with his other hand.

"Shit, I'm- I'm-

Your whole body tingles when the delight reaches its peak and finally spills over. Your nails claw at his thighs and you squeeze your eyes shut when the prickle overwhelms you.

"Good girl." You're barely able to hear his voice, your high taking over all your senses. You go limp in his arms, legs trembling. Jungkook sprinkles sweet kisses on your jaw, but his fingers remain inside you, slower but still moving.

You're writhing in his arms. "Jungkook."

"I love playing with your pussy," he teases. "Fuck, hear how wet it is? All for me?"

Yes, you definitely hear it. You're wetter than every fucking ocean in this world combined and the squelching sounds are so obscene you don't even wanna know how his fingers feel right now.

You seize his wrist. "Gukkie, please."

"Can't take anymore?" he taunts.

"Too much." You sigh relieved when he removes his sneaky hand from your throbbing pussy, though he can't withstand to land one last teasing smack on your clit. You shake in his arms a whine falling past your lips.

Jungkook holds his glistening fingers in front of your mouth. Without much to say you take them in your mouth and suck them clean. When you're done Jungkook puts them in his mouth, tasting both the remnants of your cum and your saliva.

"Kiss me," you say when he's done tasting you. You know his cap is gonna be in the way, so you pull it off his head.

"Is there any moment in life where you don't look good?" you complain. He's had that stupid cap on for God knows how long, and yet his hair looks perfect. "It's unfair."

Whether if it's his morning hair, his after shower hair, his i just ran through my hair ten times cos im stressed about my exams or his we started baking and it ended up in a flour flight in the kitchen and now i have flour poured all over me, his hair still manages to look like he could do a photoshoot for the front cover of Elle Korea.

"Of course there is, babe," he starts but before he can finish you shush him with your finger on his mouth.

"Keep your corny compliments for yourself. I'm not giving you head tonight."

Jungkook clicks his tongue. "Why do you think that's the only reason why I would give you compliments?"

"Cause you always think with your dick."

"C'mere," he just says, ignoring your words.

He tilts your head up by your chin and clashes his mouth on yours. The taste of your cum is still lingering on both your tongues. Your hand finds his throbbing cock and you stroke him through his sweatpants. You can't recall when he got hard, you were too absorbed in your own pleasure to notice.

"Lie on your back for me," Jungkook says after the kiss.

While you make yourself comfortable on your back, Jungkook carefully closes your laptop and puts it on your bedside table. Out of the corner of his eye he sees the soft pink fabric of your panties flying across the room. He then he removes all his clothing and crawls back onto the bed.

Jungkook positions himself between your spread legs. He jerks his cock a few times and has his dark, fiery eyes on you.

You look so small under him. So fragile and vulnerable. He wants to keep you in his pocket and protect you forever.

"Such a pretty pussy." He traces his head over your glistening cunt, smearing your wetness all over you. And because Jungkook can't get enough of seeing your pussy all wet for him, he pushes his cock out of the way and spits directly on it. You have to hand it to him, he aims better than any man you've ever met. Jungkook spreads the added lubrication over your folds. You whimper beneath him. He's just teasing you and your mind is already foggy from all the bliss.

"Please, Koo," you plead. "Please fuck me."

"Always so needy." But still, he gives you what you want. He aligns his head on your entrance and slowly pushes his cock inside until is deeply sheathed between your greedy walls.

He stays like this for a second, allows you a few seconds to come accustomed to his size.

"God, you're so big." You still welcome the stretch his dick gives your pussy every time.

"But your little pussy can take it, right?" Jungkook pulls back, until only the beginning of his tip is left inside. And with a strong thrust of his hips, he's back inside you again.

Your back arches off the back and Jungkook watches you through lidded eyes. "I love fucking you like this," he says, his hands on both your knees. "Look so fucking hot." His eyes trails down to your tits bouncing every time he thrusts into you.

"I love your cock," you respond because damn that's literally the only thing you can thing about right now. It's just feels so good.

"There's only cock in your mind, isn't? The only thing you always fucking think about?" Jungkook's pace increases and all your rational thoughts are chased away with it.

"There's nothing in there, is it?" Jungkook  rasps and grabs a fistful of your hair. The pain from your scalp hurtles through your whole body. "Just needy thoughts, huh?" His silver fleur-de-lis chain dangles in front of your face as he comes closer. He's careful not do smack you in the face with it.

"Thought of you all day long," you mewl, palming your breast.

"Yeah? Thought of me fucking your tiny pussy?"

"God, yes."

The moment Jungkook smooths his ringed hand over the expanse of your tummy and presses his palm to your lower tummy it's officially over for you.

Your head rolls to your side and breathy moans escape your plush lips. The pressure Jungkook puts on your tummy makes you feel woozy in the head.

"You like that?" he asks and you're barely able to find strength to nod. "I can feel my cock moving inside you." Jungkook switches his thrusts into a languid fashion. His eyes are attached to where his tatted hand is resting. He can see it - he can see the bulge of his cock in your tummy. "Oh, fuck." He could never get over how fucking hot it looks like. Seeing your tiny pussy taking his big cock will always make him want to nut inside you right then and there. Jungkook grabs your hand that isn't currently occupied with tweaking your nipple and situates it right where his hand had been. "You're feeling this, baby?" Jungkook covers his hand over yours and your hand completely vanishes beneath his. "You feel how my cock is stretching your little pussy open?"

"Uh-huh," you press out, dragging out the sound until it morphs into a moan as Jungkook starts picking up on his pace again.

"Lost your words?" Jungkook sneers. "What a brain dead slut you are for me."

You whimper in response, reaching for his chain to drag him closer. His hand finds your throat once again. It quickly embraces your neck and his fingers make it harder to breath. The watchstrap of his Rolex pokes your skin but you're already used to the chafing feeling. Jungkook is so close to you, you can feel his ragged breathing fanning on your face.

"You're my pathetic little slut, aren't you?"

"Y-yes."

"Open your mouth for me," he demands.

You do, with your tongue sticking out slightly. He lets a drop of saliva fall from his mouth and again it lands right where he wants it to, this time on your tongue. And you swallow, like the obedient little girl you are for him.

He feels your throat bobbing and hums satisfied. "Such a good girl."

Jungkook draws back again, grabbing both your ankles and throws your legs over his shoulders.

Your eyes roll at the back of your head. "Jungkook," you whine. You're so close to cumming again, you feel like you're gonna see stars.

"You're gonna cum, aren't you?"

"Yes - fuck - yes, I'm so close!"

Jungkook thrusts his cock inside just the way you like it.

You relish in the way he forces himself into your pussy, heady and intoxicating pleasure. You tip over the edge, panting a moan of Jungkook's name as you cum onto Jungkook’s rock-hard length. Mind-numbing satisfaction that spreads all over you, hot and melting into you. 

"That's my girl." Jungkook slows down, giving you kisses all over your neck as he rolls his hips into you.

He rides out your high. You're too fucked out to do anything for a moment and just enjoy Jungkook pampering you with kisses.

"Good job," he praises you once again and you feel your heart flutter. God, he's too good at this.

But you could to the same. "Cum inside me," you beg.

That sentence? Heaven in Jungkook's ears. You don't let him cum inside you that often but oh fuck, when you allow him to it drives him crazy.

Jungkook groans into the pillow next to you. "Yeah? Want me to knock you up?"

"Uh-huh. Want you to fill me up."

"Fuck," he moans and it sounds so fucking pretty you think you're falling in love with him all over again.

One of your hand moves to his chest and you softly flick your index against his nipple.

"I'm gonna cum." Jungkook throws his head back and goes sloppy in his movements. He spills all his seed into you until he shoves his cock deep inside you one last time.

Jungkook's head drops down in the crook of your neck and you thread your fingers through his hair. He stays like that for a while, his dick still inside.

When Jungkook starts peppering kisses over your neck and then chest and then face, you know he's come back to his senses. If you're honest, you still feel woolly in your head but Jungkook has always been better at handling the post nut clarity than you.

You poke Jungkook in the side with your feet. "Jungkook, let me pee."

"Let me love you, woman."

"You weigh a ton," you groan as you try to push him off you.

At that, he perks up and looks at you with narrowed eyes. "I take full offense to that. I've worked hard to build these muscles," he says. "But I get it. Someone like you-" He takes hold of your weak, undefined arm and looks at you pityingly. "Would never understand."

You giggle and playfully swat his chest.

"Just let me go and pee, you dummy."

[rew0nder]

omg revenge on vox. he's just been domming u so often acting all mighty and acting like as if you're just a pathetic little sub and you've had enough. for this one time, you switch it up a bit; vox was previously on top of you, now under you, widened eyes and stuttering. he finally gathered his words, telling you how silly you are, thinking that you can be in control. you harshly tie his hands together and position them above his head, starting to leave hickeys and leaving him startled with all the sudden change.

imagine just. putting a vibrator on his dick so that he finally knows his place. you start out slow, but as time flies, you gradually increase the intensity of the vibrator, making vox shake and stutter his hips, arching his back. and when he gets close, you stop. he tells you; "silly thing, do you think you could tip me over the edge that easily?" he says, underestimating you. "no," you say, "but i know how." you argued. "oh? show me then." vox says, underestimating you completely.

and then you edge him over and over again, slowly losing his sanity <3. "f-fUCK- aH! shit-- please, fuCK! im sorry! let me cum! please!" he pleaded under you. god, you love the sight of him. completely under your mercy.

he gets close again, thinking that you'll let him cum this time. "ahH... fuCK!! ah! y-yes! please! im so clOSE!-" he moans, then you stop. "no! please! i promise I'll be good!!" he swears

GOD he would look so cute

🧪

wow. just wow.

this is perfect already, i can't think of anything to add to this

everyone say thank you 🧪 anon

[inkdemonapologist]

SESSION TWELVE of the BatIM Call of Cthulhu game, aka Continuing to have a Great Time At The Masquerade! : )

Joey and Bendy destabilised early on, meaning Joey went through the ENTIRE masquerade UNABLE TO STOP SMILING

getting some mixed messages here, Joey

Sometimes u dress ur characters up as rabbits for fun but then you have a lot of emotions about them losing their minds and then u gotta draw them losing their minds while dressed as rabbits... anyway Jack being mind-controlled did NOT help Sammy hold onto his mental stability at this nightmare party in case you were wondering,

ANYWAY HAVE, MORE OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTES, UNDER THE CUT

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[GM] Joey, make a POW roll also... [Joey] Oh, boy, [GM] ...because Bendy was also told to enjoy this party, and you guys just passed a plate of food, and he wants to eat! [Jack] FEED YOUR SON! [Joey] No!!! [Henry] HES A HUNGRY BOY! [Sammy] A GROWING BOY!

[Henry] Henry will look back to see if Moonlight is trying to follow them! [GM] He will see that Moonlight has grabbed onto the railing of the stairs and is hobbling slowly down them. [Joey] *extremely evil-sounding cackling*

[Jack] All Cthulhu Official Dice actually come weighted, to make you fail.

[Henry] Gotta try harder than that, bitch! [Henry] ....that wasn't in character. [Jack] It's in character, but he's only thinking it. [Sammy] That's the golden text you see on the wall if you use the seeing tool

[Henry] My Luck is 68, I don't know what y'all are doing! [Jack] We're spending Luck so that we'll fail! [Sammy] BEING UNLUCKY! I've barely spent any Luck, I'm just NOT A LUCKY GUY

[Henry] Oh, Avedon's here, [GM] There's a gunshot, and he tries to shoot Fowler! [Joey] Um, well, uh, whoops!, rest in peace Fowler! [Sammy] Yeah, that'll sort itself out, let's go! [GM] Moonlight seems to reconsider from telling people to grab you guys, to grabbing Avedon instead. [Joey] Oh! THANKS AVEDON, your sacrifice will, not be thought about in the slightest!!!

[Sammy] Is... weird question, does this room look like it matches the architecture of the rest of the house? [GM] [GM] [GM] ...make a sanity check.

[Sammy] It would be a like, Come on Jack, do you know where you are, shake it off, snap out of it, kind of thing. [GM] Why don't you make a... a.... oh boy, [Sammy] One of my REALLY persuasive social skills?

[GM] This probably just registers to Jack as, Sammy griping about a party, which isn't that strange. [Jack] Yeahhhh, he wants to leave. He always does that. I wanna stay at least a little longer! [GM] That just means it's Jack's job to find them something fun and good to do. [Sammy] Oh boy, [GM] I don't think Jack is being compelled to be aggressive about this necessarily, he just feels like he's Jack at a party, doing the things Jack normally does, and trying to have a good time! [Sammy] Ah, and everyone else is being weird, [GM] Yeah! Everybody's being really weird! You're at this nice party, and now you're in this weird room? The party's back there somewhere! [Jack] I mean not that he's opposed to bein' dragged into side rooms at parties by cute boys, but,

[GM] The table looks like a table that Henry has in his house, actually. [Sammy] Have I ever been in Henry's house? These are questions I didn't expect to need to ask tonight.

[Sammy] Jack, this is weird! You see this is weird, right?! [Jack] Well yeah, it is kinda weird that we're in-- what are we doing here? [Joey] Joey is going to grab Jack's arm, and point to the next door, and go "Party is this way!"

[GM] Peter looks worried... [Sammy] Sammy looks worried too! Well, Sammy looks angry, but in a worried way.

[Joey] Joey is going to scream frustratedly. [Sammy] Is there ink in this room? [GM] There is not. [Jack] Is there a party in this room? [GM] Definitely no, only the party you bring with you.

[Joey] Joey is going to scream again. [Joey] He's also going to kick the door. He might stub his toe. [Sammy] Through all this, Joey is smiling. I just need us all to remember that. [Joey] YES. Also his tail is furiously going. [GM] Bendy is also upset! There is nothing to eat here.

[Joey] Joey is going to try to feed Bendy some ideas, [GM] He doesn't want ideas, he wants food!

[Joey] So.... what happens if you fumble a sanity roll?

[GM] See, here's the silly part. At this point, right? At this point, the best place to do the tasks you want to do, involve either getting the stone out of the room with the safe, or having the staff that Henry is currently holding. [Sammy] So you would arrive, by completely different means, to the same place that we are! [GM] Clearly Joey is inside the safe.

[Jack] Bad and naughty Joey Drews get put in the safe to atone for their sins!

[Henry] Henry is going to channel his inner Joey Drew and round the corner and say "No, sorry about him, we're just here on inspection, we need to check the safe." [Henry] Which is probably a Fast Talk, which I hope it isn't, because my Fast Talk is a 5. [GM] Unless you wanna try to turn that into a persuade somehow? [Henry] I'll do Persuade! [GM] What are you doing to persuade them, rather than just lying? [Henry] *rolls* I failed... I'm gonna push it... [Sammy] *uneasy noises* IF YOU PUSH IT AND IT GOES BAD, IT GOES WORSE [Henry] AH! HAHA! I ROLLED A SIX! [Sammy] THAT'S STILL NOT LESS THAN FIVE! [Henry] WELL IM DOING PERSUADE! [Sammy] That means you have to NOT LIE! [Henry] ....Fuck. [Henry] Okay, uh, there's an emergency, we need the contents of that safe. [Sammy] THATS STILL A LIE??? [Joey] NO actually, THAT'S TRUE! [Henry] It IS an emergency!!

[Sammy] Sammy cannot believe that this is working.

[GM] Bendy does wonder what his plan is for getting out of the safe. This does not seem like a fun party place. [Joey] Um, [Joey] Joey says it's a surprise.

[GM] Henry, the safe does indeed open! And there's a Joey! [GM] Bendy says "Oh wow!" [Henry] Henry tries his best to keep a straight face, like yes! this is exactly what he came here for! [Sammy] (Sammy is NOT keeping a straight face) [Jack] (Straight? In this party?)

[Jack] He's probably saying something like, "What are you doing, he's one of us!" [Jack] And that could go either way. That could mean "No, he's chill, I will persuade you to stop!" Or that could mean, "We are also criminals!"

[GM, as the guards] Then why does he look like the Yellow King's messenger? [Henry] *not missing a beat* We get that a lot.

[GM] Something falls from the sky and lands in front of him. And it's a person! [Joey] Is he alive? [GM] Very much not. [Sammy] How... how Illusion of Living canon-compliant is this Joey...?

[Jack] So... it would probably occur to Jack that this is weird for a party,

[Henry] Joey don't touch it! [Joey] Why not? [Henry] There's runes around it. I don't know if you can touch it. [Joey] Joey's gonna touch it. [Henry] *long-suffering sigh* If you get zapped, I'll tell you I told you so!

[Jack] Jack really wishes we were just back at the party right now, you guys... [Jack] Only bad things have happened. [Jack] Pete's traumatised, Joey's goopy, the Lurker ate all of the snacks,

[Sammy] Can I try to break free from Henry? Sammy's gonna try to run over there. [Henry] At this point, Sam can go, if he wants. [Sammy] Okay, cool. Then Sammy's gonna go and put ink in his mouth! [Henry] Goddammit. I was hoping you were going to check on Joey!

[Joey] You can’t take all of the sanity hits! You have to leave some for other people! [Jack] Says you! You got so many temps!! And an indefinite!!

[GM] Bendy probably is complaining loudly about WHY DID HE WALK THROUGH THE RUNES??? [Joey] Oh! I thought he was going to complain about the party, or lack thereof, [GM] That’s part of not having fun at the party, he’s not into that! [Joey] Well, [GM] This is not a fun party activity!!

[GM] But he doesn’t think it will destroy either of them, if you do it right! [Jack] That’s a nice, way to end that sentence,

[Sammy] Let us hurry! May I take the stone? [Joey] Joey shrugs. [Sammy] Sammy will, uh, attempt to reach inside of... whatever this is, and find the stone. [Henry] Reach INTO your LOCAL boss, and you will find A Friend And Boy,

[Sammy] Is there anything in this room that I can pick up, and then hit him in the head with? [GM] Henry has a stick... uh....there’s a projector.... [Sammy] Can I pick that up? [GM] No, you cannot. [Sammy] It would be REALLY funny if Sammy dropped a projector on someone else’s head. [Sammy] HOW THE TURNTABLES!!!

[GM] ...Can you impale with a rocking horse...???? [Sammy] I don’t want to impale, I want to knock him in the head so he passes out!!! Rest your head, it’s time for bed!!!

[Jack] I don’t think Jack has any plans after this! [Jack] I meant that in the sense that he doesn’t know what he’s doing next, but the way I phrased it, now it just sounds like he’s hitting on Fowler, like, he doesn’t have anything to do after this, are you free? That’s not canon.

[Joey] I don’t know how this will go, [Sammy] Good luck! [Joey] But Joey would like to-- [Sammy] Sammy believes in half of you! [GM] w-which Sammy? wHICH HALF?!

[Jack] I know you said “note.” But my brain at first processed that word as “milk.” [Henry] *laughing* “Did you get my milk, Fowler?” [Jack] He drank the last carton and he didn’t buy more! [Sammy] “I’m going to the store, want me to get anything? *jumps into the lake*”

[GM] Combat Jack! [Jack] *exasperated* He’s not a Combat Boy! Jack is soft and warm, like mashed potatoes!!!

[GM] Norman is wondering to Henry if he oughta be concerned about you all getting what you want out of this. [Henry] .....Maybe.

[crackcrocs]

DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #3

3. Transformation Central

the entities of my personalities would like to come together in one voice that speaks through me, we or I call this collection of words from the mustiest corners of my brain to this note page to voice something that might come close to what I feel underneath the skin I wear. In all my unorganised words- I might even go as far as to call this a poem, titled:

‘TRANSFORMATION CENTRAL’

sub characters in my head would appreciate if this could be visualised & understood through as deep a lens as humanly possible. even I confuse myself so if you can decode or relate to any of this, wonderful. If not, I’m locked in my own mind, swallowed the keys to my soul.

SIMILARITIES & INTERCONNECTEDNESS BETWEEN HUMAN & PLANT CONSCIOUSNESS EXIST! if you look closely at my nose freckles you’ll see the resemblance of the constellations above. if you look at the human veins & the layout of a tree, this is further proof.

{VISUALS THROUGH A SEPIA WINDOW STARING @ THE AUTUMN LEAFS; IMAGINING THE SEEDS UNDERNEATH, THROUGH NUMB ROOT VESSELS THAT PERMEATE THROUGH EVERY MEMBRANE OF MY EXTERNAL TO INTERNAL ENVIRONMENT}

~FEATURING THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF DEPRESSION & PERFECTIONISM.

here goes:

What is this part of my mind ?

If you want; delve inside-

I may look sweet like Alice,

but underneath it all

I deteste looking in the mirror

-cos I see the mad hatter.

my inner child needs a platter-

full of care not distortion & abuse pls.

less fibbin would’ve been a breeze.

now following the dead fish in the stream!

HOW on EARTH do I fit with the cod & the Haddock?

I’m the rainbow fish- beat & battered.

dim my own light cos I’m too afraid to shine.

alone.

thieves tried to steal my shiny scales.

I sat and watched them grow.

In the sea realm they were mean gargantuan selfish whales, with poisonous shark fangs & alligator tails. scorpion hands. (gremlins)

and still they make me feel like the alien-

I cant take it.

Make it make sense ?

I can’t.

controller in my hand-

Off balance stance.  

anxiously I move round like a wobbly jelly.

where’s the button to balance my chi & shut out the ego ?

the teLLIE telling lies to our vision!

change the channel aura terracotta orange- daily dosage of vitamin D & C.

catch me sun gazing by the sea

head buzzin like a bee.

speaking from a dusty box

stuck on top of a forbidden shelf

cos I dunno how else.

I’m tryna delve deep but forgot how to dive

How can i visualise? scenery foggy-

the establishment man with the glue gun got me xD

inner monk burning but at peace

Cos I refuse to believe

If the only way is the American dream

Interconnected; like the frog in science -let’s dissect it!

down to every floating atom spirit neighbouring your door

subcategories & divisions, it’s more!

than the rich and the poor -prism that’s been built

do we all feel like a performance monkey on stilts?

will my data be extracted & used to mould a robots personality some day?

well obviously not.

does the price of our lives all amount down to slave ways?

LABOUR YAY!

but morals & values it seems we’ve forgot.

sO If i don’t speak its cos I’m lost.

or maybe i’m enlightened-

Standing at the edge of the porch;

watching TRYING to understand how the flowers grow.

questioning eVERYTHING man made!

I’ve stepped out of the perfect picture frame

I can see the coal pollute the sky

I need to hop on the train-

but I’m comfortable

Sunset to sunrise statue standing still.

what’s the ingredients to life’s yucky pie?

I’ve exceeded mental lotteries.

Sanity n universal peace would be a trophy.

TIL then I’ll be crafting & shaping a solid pottery reality,

with a few pence, gum, and a bandana of belongings tied to stick.

thinking one day I’ll be laying the bricks

& building a kingdom of bliss.

guess for now I’ll use the intricate delicate materials in my tool box- that’s all I’ve got.

might have a long way- maybe worth a shot.

I observe, cruisin in the sky.

dunno why..

I jus look @ the hills.

Only time & history reveals.

no thanks mr men-

I don’t want your prescription pills.

there’s enough propaganda as it is.

I won’t jump on the merry go round-

til my core trusts & envisions we’ll actually feel safe!

I don’t want to take part in this faux fur, sweet nothings & a jack in a box punching blur, so called future.

oh and genuinely thanks quarantine-for once again, I can hear bird sounds!

guess this is me tryna speak out loud!!!...

it’s not thrilling

system  time killing everything-

mother nature’s oxygen

everything is nauseating

clock ticking, I better start creating.

they should write a book on how to be free when the system set us up to believe that we’re tied to the cut down trees that gives them a currency of greed that they breed.

If blindfolded, I don’t wanna eat what they feed.

Whilst they profit of us -tell us smile and the bandits don’t wanna see us happy.

they’re too busy robbing all our hoods.

In exchange for the silence, they’ve granted us with a 21’st century fashion garment of a slave muzzle! labelled conform.

More delusion to add to the already desensitised norm.

zootonic diseases, welcome covid 19 to your plastic kiddy tea party!- apologies for questioning your motive!

Been handed too many hot plates with a post it note saying HOLD THIS.

we’ll be okay just hush.

Same Shan message told to every generational seed.

If we don’t TRY overpower-

we’ll never succeed!

it’s getting even more scary.

Artificial intelligence.

Societal negligence..

my canvas isn’t clear-dunno am I schizo ?

finger painting, cos it makes more sense.

struggling to blend.

borderline conspiracist pretending to be fine;

moving the goal post, hovering above the race line.

who made the chalk? who set the lanes?

I wanna know it all, maybe¿ far past insane.

I can fit all I need in the palm of my hand,

Maybe even less! cut a finger off not sure it’ll even add stress.

hi from personality Peter, even sober- always away with the fairies.

Pass the pixie dust, I’m in a rush

Found shelter in the comfort of pan physicists timer, no not the one on your phone!

Ring ring, skeptical! is it my demon or my mommy on the phone?

I’m stuck in the airspace of an infinite glass filled with beach particles trying to form myself standing up still attempting not to slip through the hands of my very own discovery.

time is running out & ill go when I go.

I’m sitting inside the fly trap -

stardust, chakras can you feel the sensation colors like a starburst.

deep emotion is a curse.

still entrapped in the sand dune of nothingness-

flipping a domino monopoly of solidified thoughts as I sway with the wind.

I’m the trapped sandbox in the playground & the slipping sand in my own hands.

Inhale chronic but I wanna enter the quiet realm of white noise

-color of a wife beater vest, calmer than the ease in ignorance of a red neck.

sadomasochistic, messes.

but oblivion, seems like less stress.

Unfortunately I can see, with all eyes

empathetic paralysis, gets me vexed.

Punching truth into the core of your chest!

It’s not funny, neither is the one on the receiving end..

My limbs are numb

& im done playing octopus alchemy.

I want minimalism & life can be simple,

Evil entities have made it hard.

Maybe I’ve got stars above my head like an old cartoon character.

But I can’t make it make sense, are they out to get me. worse all of us? Or have I bottled myself tryna re mesh the broken shards,

I feel glued to the floor cos there’s a pretty price to pay if you want more.

I see life through a different lense, maybe born downside up, Benjamin button I came out the back door-

Outside looking in, digesting confusion.

Is to be a product of environment a sin?

rummage through my messy brain.

personalities sardine packed in this tin

I’m the wizard of my mania

Scaring & attracting the black crows-

they’re my friends.

Sometimes still a cowardly lion

Roaring pain & true riddles at the wrenching wicked witch posse of the west.

will my voice ever be loud enough to shed light wit my words and grate the sweet zest

In to the cake i’m baking?

Probably not.

Got more thoughts than the autumn leaves collected by the garden rake. alone.

gathering & storing the pains of yesterday.

sometimes I stay in line

Other times in my head Im on my hands juggling out of time.

but I really don’t mind if I lose or win.

we all have a pace

I jus don’t want the 1% to win the race.

It’s unfair!

Humanity does anyone care ??

Half lady

half fairy

Good  MOOrning-

from my anagrams.

no I’m not a cow.

twister fidget spinner brain in the flesh-

form of expression this time around lyrics.

feel I’m jus a silly rubix

& still mourning

I don’t like dairy

pass the oat milk.

Are you aware the industry are sabotaging our diets?

we want peace!

the powerful elite-

perceive & deceive

the scene they want us to be.

chuck the narcissistic psychopathic pie back in our face-

every time we almost found & addressed the Programme & Control man in the maze.

evil & extroverted- he said that the anarchists have to be the cause of riots.

working isn’t class. I said let’s switch roles- he said pass.

It’s piss! Who’s got the bomb & the guns?

Who got the land? off wit OUR heads 4 fun!

it’s pure scary.

Pharmaceutics handshake.

with the cooked up suppliers, also crooked wack liars.

I’d rather shot a gallon of bloody blubbery infused slaughter house milk

If it meant we didn’t use cocoons for silk.

why not add a drizzle of bleach to the concoction & maybe that’s a reach.

every time I guzzle fakeness, it taste peak.

I want real fruit, what next-

a seedless peach ???

what’s the difference between a weirdo & a freak?

layers & levels to the shit.

Magnifying tapping the window of society, I’ll be puffing green til I get to the land of Oz.

sponge soaked soaking up emotions

Suffocated by deduction of care in life

feel entrapped in this paradigm

what am I thinking ?

got the verbs & a cuppa tea

It’s mixed with torment & desire to be free.

I’d rather be awake than asleep

When I get too comfy I feel weak

Demons they reap

underneath

rip the seems as I bleed

Concrete

Solid

Emotions

Is all you’re getting

It’s all sad scenes in the imagery I’m setting

people need care we seem to be forgetting

why are we in debt wit

a posse of clowns

pay the price so we can get a frown

here’s some seratonin

quit ya moaning

life is all sound

aw yeh¿  if you’re not an over thinker!

product of environment- Sirius flickers

theyve done a ritual like it’s Wicca

now here’s your gold sticker..

for managing to co operate.

In this world fuelled off of evil n hate

waking ups a bloody disgrace

I am not amazed.

Man I love my fam n my friends

Just hate this part of my brain that feels the need to play pretend

sometimes I feel insane

but I’m calm

need to escape so I don’t do harm

Gold lioness in the sky by the sea

with puff the magic dragon

fire out my mouth, fuel helps me breathe

I will shine bright

Promise imma be alright

even tho I’m not sure why

I function like this

I wanna be myself

It’s just hard to find the comfortability

To feel happy and pretty

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Ring around sing about overdose emotions

Sorry dunno how to communicate

Heads in a constant debate

Should I go or should I stay

My head clashes

Burnin the next ciggy as my thoughts become ashes.

[meyhew]

hi hello 2019 is ending and many people have done these so i’m gonna hop in on it before i lose my chance 🤪 this year really tried us all (this DAY alone tried me bro a 15 hrs work shift is hell) but #we made it and im just gonna take a moment to appreciate some people i love 💗 (this post took 24+ hrs to make pls bear with me its very long. like Very long) 

mert: @tpwkjmn @onedirectionwho @bipetermj @icarusfals @girlalmightys. u all know how much u mean to me and how much i’ve relied on all of you. a lot of shit got thrown our way this year and we’ve had many many lows this year but we also had our good moments and i love u all for being who u are and sticking by me through it all. it’s only been two years but feels like i’ve known u much longer than that. 

@queereightiesheartthrob — i know ur not in the fandom anymore and all this is fake but honestly i can’t make one of these without you. half my sanity (aka whatever is left of it) depends on u and i’ve no idea what i’d do without u and i dont wanna know. i can’t WAIT to see you next year and see harry with you and go around nyc with you or crash at my friend’s place in boston or whatever the hell we wanna do. a city girl and a farm girl, its gonna be the most amazing time and i can’t wait for it 

@iconichalo — well. hello. i love u but it’s conditional... send me a glitter bomb and im taking back all the love i’ve given u and have stored for the future. thanks for staying up and keeping me company so so many nights i love those special calls 

@emohl — ma’am i adore you. u are so very intelligent and creative, whether it’s fandom related or something much bigger. contrary to what most people might think, you’re so funny and so silly, but you’re also an incredible friend and anyone would be lucky to have you. i’m very grateful for all the knowledge you’ve bestowed upon me so far.

@sunflowrsix — you so easily made a place for yourself in my heart. thank u for being lyab’s biggest fan and shaping her into what she is now (and will be when she’s finished). my words and characters and stories are all yours and there’s no one i’d rather share them with 

bve: @astrolouis @kissyhl @stangolden @velvetsau @cheerleaderharry. u guys are... one of the greatest joys in life. i’ve told yall stuff i’d never share here and i’ve never felt judged for it bc hey we’re all Intellectuals and we all agree. some of u have a tiktok addiction and i love it bc sometimes they make me laugh. i love the weird pointless hours long calls where sometimes i fall asleep and other times i stay silent and just do my work mwah love u all. merry christmas 

dnd: @emohl @tattooedlovers @sunflowrsix @kissyhl @emohl @ltyear @canyonemoon @onmeown @phoenixvinyl @louislegend @curlyhairedprince @queersue @tomlinsun @givemewalls @sunflowrlouis. this chat was made for the most bonkers reason - gio was tired of being the messenger between me and her friends who were scared of me (ahem. u know u who are) and im so glad she made it bc :’) i adore u lot and im so glad you’re in my life. truly some of the best people i’ve met in this fandom 

my lovely friends at @stylesupdated. @emohl @finelinee @ltyear @louislive @finelinebyhs @finelinee @tpwkjmn @curlyhairedprince despite all the bickering that goes on behind the scenes, we’re still the best team in the world and i’m proud of how far this blog has come in such a short amount of time. you’re all such talented and dedicated people, and such amazing friends, and i couldn’t be happier to be part of anything. love u all 

the hello gc — delicious. lovely. love u 

@roguecurls — thank u for being the sweetest person. all the luck you had this month was simply the result of your good deeds and your good karma. wish the world had more people like you bc we truly would do so much better off with even just one more person like you around. i’m so glad to have u in my life. 

@haznlou — boy we’ve had our ups and downs this year, havent we? this 2019 bitch realllyyy tried us but we’re still here babey. i’m really proud of u and what you’ve done for yourself this year, and i’ve told u all that before, but i still wanna say one more time bc its all true. it was one of the most difficult decisions to make and you did it and i love that for u and i love all the good things that have happened to u bc of it and u deserve all of it 

@kindofsharethat — legend. thank u for blessing us every time u decide to log in here and thank u for making me laugh. i fully believe you’re one of the reason this fandom hasn’t gone fully off the rails yet 

@caparius — my taurus twinny buddy.. i know half this fandom has something against you but i love talking to u and just immediately clicking and getting each other about pretty much everything. i love love love hearing u talk about the stars or photography or anything else ur sexie brain comes up with i truly truly love ur presence in the fandom and am so grateful for it in my life  

@cuddlerlouis @styleandsin @finelinee @hlsource @alinok @half-lightl @knightchanges @itsastorm @lordtomlinson @angelharry — thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u for some of the favorite content of my favorite people. i honestly truly appreciate all ur creativity so so much and my dash certainly would not be as fun as it is now if it weren’t for all of u 

and all my other friends: @heyangel @halosboat @dfferentstages @shinesobrightsometimes @prettygfharry @kindathoughtprovoking @goldbootsandvans @wrappeditmyslf @rosepetallarrie @rosegoldharreh @girasolvol6 @march-z5 @lovedangel @louisandthedagger @froggystyles @minthalo @adoreyouhalsey @nauticalleeds @ot4vinyl @chaoticsue @gremlinharry @twentybiqueen @actionlou @hohohoendthishit91 @wallsau @reindeerliam @lirry @liamlm @enbyliam @goldencerise @thepeacering @theparisinterview @babyy-honey @babyy-honey @wallstermelon @dystopianharry @nneiljostenn @oceaneyes @louissinginghome @stormtrooperharry @eightiesau @lovelylarrie @fireproofs @avocadolouie @avocadotommo @niallerer @chrrykissy @sandiazucar @wlwmermald @warmvinyl @jimmytfallon @louiswatermelonboy @styleandsin @psyeche @darkrainbowlouis

whether i’ve tagged you in this or whether i’ve managed to fuck it up and forgot — if you’ve crossed paths with me and it was a pleasant interaction (even if it was anonymously) — i really appreciate you. thank u everyone for everything. it’s nice to be nice 💗

[unravelling-the-world]

existance (rant/vent feel free to skip)

maybe the guilt i feel is just for existing. i feel guilty of being alive. the more i think of it, i haven´t really done anything wrong lately. i´ve been trying my best. i feel guilt just by existing. i feel like i have to justify my existance to others. i wish i wasn´t here. i feel like a dissappointment to everyone, and i still push away everyone whenever i can. i feel like im not needed. honestly,i think its true. what value do i have as a person? i rot all day. i only stay alive to spare my parent´s feelings. yet, being who i am, i still hurt them and dissapoint them, just by existing. and im lucky they dont straight up hate me, though. whenever i meet new people, im always forced to explain things. im tired. i just want to be at peace. im frustrated. i felt like i was progressing back then. im only inside of my own head now. i can feel my sanity grasping away. day by day, i lose a little piece of every little thing i´d built and preserved so carefully through the years. the only thing i can do is maintain my brain active all day by gaming or literally anything just so i wont be able to hear my own thoughts. i feel so guilty. before, i used to hate the image i saw in the mirror. i felt like it could change a lot to represent ´´me´´ better. but i still saw a part of myself in it. now, even when i´m wearing gender affirming clothes, or with my bleached hair, slowly, i have stopped recognizing the image in the mirror. it feels like im looking at a stranger. who is that looking back at me? oh silly, i know it´s me. but when i see it, it feels like looking at a stranger. it feels like a weird stranger is staring back at me. is this how others see me? who am i? what is ´´me´´? slowly, i become more and more disconnected from the world itself. it´s like i´m a ghost just possesing a body that does not belong to me. who am i? when asked this, i would always respond with the things i like. i once asked a friend to describe me. she said i was very passionate about my interests. i agreed. but if that´s all there is to me, then who am i when my interests change? it´s true. i don´t feel like the same person i was in 2018. it feels like a stranger. the rest of the time, i could still recognize myself in that person, even if the interests differed. if i take away my interests, then what´s left of me? i always have drawn myself with mint hair and round glasses. my glasses have broken a while ago. im using an old square pair, which actually looks very good, but when did it stop feeling like me in the mirror? my hair has big roots and it´s blonde by now. i like it, because it reminds me of Hide. yet, why does the image feel so distant? i don´t think it looks bad or desire to change it as i used to, because it doesn´t even feel ´´mine´´ to begin with. who am i to choose for that person? who am i, really?