#im not being dramatic when i said i love my rats like a mother loves her children

[sar3nka]

Well fuck they can't remove the tumor in Bezi so it's pretty much a death sentence. The only hope is that her meds will stop the growth completely and she lives a month or 3 at best...

She's fine now, will talk to the vet a bit in like an hour and see what are the options. But the surgeon who called me to inform me abt all this told me not to get my expectations very high

[obwjam]

Hey just wanted to share some old hc’s/ideas i had left in my drafts. Ik time has flown by but, i still love the idea of Petra and all their potential. But i ofc totally understand if ur atsv phase has passed by now. Hope you can still enjoy ❤️

• When Petra gets their 1st crush Miguel pulls a Mother Gothel and basically gives them a “Mother Knows Best” speech. (Literally so dramatic; Love’s a distraction, they have a multiverse to protect, Petra needs to focus etc) ((i’ll leave this here))

(( LIKE I NEED THIS ANIMATEDDD))- Whole time Petra’s completely unamused at the threats/theatrics. The fact this could go a very silly goofy route, or an angsty one. >>> which ofc Miguel would never but, it’s an idea.

• (speaking of ^^) *foaming at the mouth* LOVE INTEREST LOVE INTEREST LOVE INTEREST LOVE INTEREST PLEASE. (Same size ??? 10/10 Bigger ?? 10/10)

• The Miles and Petra friendship is actually healing. He’d be such a great friend. vice versa.

• Frenemies vibes with with Peter B. >>> (Relationship with Mayday tho ??)

• Petra being a little gym rat >>>> (def gets it from Miguel)

• The spidergang ask to join Them for a workout session, to pick up some skills bc Petra’s cool.

After some deceptively lightweight stretching, the whole session turns into an I’ll Make a Man Out of You montage. Petra does NOT play games. (And is having the time of their lives being a hardass)

The 6 of them meditating and trying to balance on bamboo staffs in a Spider Dojo

• Pav’s said “They’re just a little guy” in Petra’s defense at least once.

•Angsty but.. Imagine Petra gets a major injury on the field. Miguel’s knelt down, cradling them. (The crying "My Baby " tiktok audio vibes/Blue diamond found out pink diamond just got "shattered" energy yk)

• Okay Okay hear me out- Petra’s pov of Miguel’s tweak out on Miles?? like HER SEEING SPIDER BYTE NOT HIT THE SHUT DOWN BUTTON AND NOT SAYING ANYTHIINGG?

(Child i’ve been thinking on this so be prepared. I’ll throw it in another Ask)

IM ACTUALLY SOBBING RIGHT NOW LIKE TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE THESE ARE ALL SO INCREDIBLE??? like this straight up has just re-inspired me to start writing petra again because i just want more content of everyone simply hanging out and being buds. like 2014 avengers tower fics type beat. even if it doesnt make sense to have miles just goofing off at HQ i dont care. pav, miles, gwen and petra would all joke in memes and references and it would piss off peter b and miguel SO MUCH but it's so funny. so much shoulder shit-talking. petra being able to do/say anything around miguel while nobody else is allowed to even look at him and theyre all so jealous. oh my god these ideas are all so fucking good i might need to steal all of them

[ketchup-monthly]

Sanders Sides D&D 1

imagine virgil just cursing janus while out of combat, and theres one time where they end up going into a combat scenario while hes still cursed

but the thing with the curse is that if the creature dies while cursed, the warlock gains temporary hit points

so if cursed janus were to die, virgil would gain temp hp

Patton: omg, we need to save Janus Virgil, who cursed him yesterday: how about we let him die, then resurrect him later, yeah?

(roman and remus) lol they would totally just run into each other and instantly just hate

everyone else (except maybe patton) would figure out that theyre brothers but they would just deny it until their father (who maybe they were looking for) spelled it out for them

concept: they're an aasimar and tiefling both on a quest to find their long lost brother, but their both expecting their sibling to be the same race as them. they don't get along for both personality reasons and because, you know, aasimar and tiefling, but they're both in the party anyway

I just realized that as a changeling Janus can just change his height at will

Like to make a point to the twins when theyre acting up, he can change to be like 7 foot (still a medium creature tho)

But like. Subtly adjusting his height so much that no one notices until hes suddenly as tall as patton

"Im a growing boy" (true but also false)

tricking people by slowly growing/shrinking on them but trying to convince them it's the other way around

"dude, weren't you shorter a few minutes ago?" "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. are you feeling alright?"

"Youre getting taller" "No youre just getting shorter"

he gets like a full six inches on whoever he's pranking before they start really panicking

Except Virgil, who panics immediately

virgil also really notices bc in normal form, janus is only an inch shorter than him

despite being smart, Logan usually doesnt notice at all until Janus has gotten at least 4 inches taller, and then he knows whats going on

Virgil, realizing his sight line for Janus is slightly off: narrows eyes

roman takes a while to notice and he panics as well. remus thinks its hilarious. patton notices once Janus is taller than him (after 4 or 5 inches)

oh! because of the type of tiefling he is, Remus knows the vicious mockery cantrip

the thing is though, he would end up using it on the rest of his party too (everyone takes psychic damage on a failed wis save)

he would purposefully use it on his party members

as if he were a bard. he would try to inspire them but would instead harm them

remus is a barbarian who thinks himself a bard

he is a harbinger of chaos, we stan

he'd make your dad jokes at roman lmaoooo

not knowing hes talking shit about his own dad

he'd keep making them after they find out their siblings, probably tho

Roman: we have the same dad! Remus: >:)

im thinking about making romans name actually romulus but he goes by roman

bc romulus and remus

and bc roman seems to tame for a noble

okay so their dad is named Mars or some derivative of Mars, and their moms are Rhea and Silvia. Remus was in part raised by a beasthide shifter (the wolf kind) named Lupe (bc i need feral child remus)

probably romans mom was an aasimar and remus's mom was a tiefling (and while their dad was human, they ended up being an aasimar and a tiefling, respectively, bc dominant genes)

also the boys have inverted hair and eye colors

remus has dark hair with a white streak and red eyes, roman has white hair with smaller dark streaks all around and green eyes

as a drow, Virgil has light purple skin, white and purple hair, and eyes that have black instead of white and purple irises

Remus: hey, man, i need a heal Roman: no. go bother Patton Remus: Pat's out of heals Roman: Remus: dude, pls Roman: you are covered in muck and i don't even like you. no. no way Remus: Roman: Remus: please, brother Roman: ..........fine

roman heals him for 1hp

Roman: take a nap

what would be funny is if remus called roman his brother long before they knew they had the same dad but he did it to annoy him bc he knew roman hated it when he did it

Remus: hello, brother Roman: we're not brothers Remus: we're brothers-in-arms, aren't we? Roman: that's not the same! Remus: eh, close enough

Roman at Remus is the line from trail to oregon thats like "why am i even trying to help you, i hate you"

roman also just straight up refuses to heal janus, even when pat is out of spell slots

yeeee i have Patton as a druid but its just because i want his wild shape to be a giant frog (also druids are healers and have access to both cure wounds and healing word)

well in the first one, roman and remus are looking for their dad/the brother their mothers said they have

janus wanted to fuck shit up (not really, he was bored and annoying virgil is fun. and remus needed a babysitter)

(logan maybe knew roman previously and was sent as his babysitter)

romans got no brain cells. hes a noble on a quest. of course someone smart would be sent to keep him from dying

logan might work with Jan

(Bro, big dramatic reveal x chapters in, Jan knew Remus and romans father)

janus (handshake emoji) logan tired of keeping the twins from dying

i was thinking he was chosen by romans mom originally as like a "logan you are the only smart one please keep him from doing something stupid"

as a courtier, Janus would have known Roman and by extension Logan

so if hes really the one orchestrating the reason the main party got together, then (eyes)

virgil was a street rat, thats his background, so he likely knew at least of roman, janus, and logan. pat and remus are both wanderers of sorts, so that may be Pats connection to the main 4

okay but i had remus as an outlander, so like. maybe he was but then his mom took him away?

i had him as like a wild man child whose mom was like "hey you have a brother" and remus was like "sweet imma find him"

they were completely separate. romans mom was the daughter of a noble, so he was raised as a noble. remus's mom was either the daughter of a tribal chief or the chief herself, so he was raised like that. they had no idea that they had a brother. the moms likely knew, or they were told somehow by the dad, but they were completely separate

Mom: remus you have a half brother Remus: okay Mom: thats it? you're not shocked? Remus: mom do you think he'd like my bug collection?

(the answer is no, Roman does not like the bug collection)

Patton also does not like the bug collection

virgil and logan love it, and janus is used to it

so changeling janus, right? if he orchestrated it all, then he could have been in different forms in the court and in the tribal village

so like he knew basically everyone (but Pat, who Remus met and then kept)

Remus, to patton: I like your funny words, magic man

Remus, upon meeting Pat: so you like frogs Patton: ....yes? Remus: cool i like them too. they taste slimy. Patton: ??????? Remus: Patton: are you okay? Remus: nope! Patton: ....okay... Remus: wanna see my bug collection?

Remus, setting himself on fire: ahhahaaha nothing can hurt me Janus, quick to douse him in water: resistance is not the same as immunity!!!

[mothpile]

OK IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT SMOKEWEED AND THEIR CHARACTER ARC AND STORY AND SHIT. ERINS WISH THEY WERE ME WITH MY FANTASTIC STORY TELLING.

smokeweed starts off as a rogue named smoke, who was kicked out of their home by their mom when they were around the apprentice age bcoz that’s just the way rogues seem to work. Anyhow, Smoke ends up finding the clans. They quickly become fascinated by the fact all these cats seem to work together so well, a contrast to the cruel “only help yourself” world their mother taught them.

One of their days of observing in thunderclan actually gets them caught by a patrol, where they are then brough back to the base to be questioned. A bit of talking happens here, and the clan offers to let Smoke join them as they seem curious and r also like. just an Apprentice this is a Three Year Old theyre not gonna kick them out and stuff. So Smoke becomes Smokepaw. Smoke views this as an example of how nice the clans are, and feel genuinely accepted among their ranks. 

Over the span of their months of training though, Smokepaw’s perfect view upon the clans begins to .... shatter. horribly. It begins a bit with their confusion over why the clans seem to want to guard their borders so much. Smokepaw thought that they all worked together, no? But the explanation for this they get is that “Everyone has an equal amount of land to hunt in, and it’s important to make sure no one tries to... break that boundary. If others start coming into our territory to hunt our stuff, we won’t have enough food for ourselves!” which to Smokepaw...makes enough sense to them. at the time. 

It’s when Smokepaw gets to go to their first Gathering, a real moment to interact with other clans. They immediately start getting friendly with other clan apprentices, specifically one from Shadowclan named Patchpaw. (Patchpaw is ... curious about Smokepaw’s friendliness, which gets her to think maybe Smokepaw’s trying to use her for information about her clan, but... quickly realizes Smokepaw is just being nice). Anyhow, smokepaw ends up leaving the gathering believing they have properly made friends with alll the other apprentices. 

They’re quickly taught this is not the case when they bring it up once to another thunderclan apprentice. The apprentice tells smokepaw that “no, you’re not really friends with them. you can never be! what if we go to battle against their clan? would you fight them then? how would you remain loyal to us if you think your enemies you’re supposed to be attacking are your friends?” . This sends Smokepaw into their first big dilemma spiral. They cant understand why the clans would fight each other. They cant understand what’s why having friends outside of their clan would be such a big deal. So, for the first time, Smokepaw finds themself questioning the way the clans are running everything.

It’s during a hunt they were on near the shadowclan border when smokepaw runs into Patchpaw again. They talk, and Smokepaw ends up asking if they really are friends. Patchpaw is caught a bit off guard by this, but. well. when she hesitantly says “i... dont know? im pretty sure youre not supposed to be that with other clans” . which gets smokepaw to ask Why. patchpaw gives the same answer (well. what if our clans Fight eachother). smokepaw asks Why would that happen. patchpaw goes . um. well. over prey i guess? and smokepaw asks again Why. why would there have to be bloodshed over that. there’s enough prey for everyone, isnt there? patchpaw replies “i mean. sometimes theres not? so maybe cats would go try and steal from other clans for food.” and smokepaw asks “wait but wouldnt it make sense to all work together at a time like that? why would you compete at a serious crisis like that. wouldn’t it be more logical to get everyone to work together to make sure every cat who needs food Gets it rather than fight over scraps??” and. This Is The First Time Patchpaw ends up questioning the code. Unsure of how to respond, Patchpaw finds herself Agreeing with what smokepaw has just said. The two agree to meet up again sometime, and , well, friendship. and gay rights. but we’ll get there a bit later i think

Time goes on, Smokepaw ends up nearing the day they become a full on warrior, but time and time again the clans have proved themselves to be dumb as all shit. Their enthusiasm and energy has drained away, leaving them tired and bitter. They still meet up with Patchpaw and stuff. At this point smokepaw rlly does love her. One day, while smokepaw’s hanging around other fellow thunderclan apprentices, one of them asks if smokepaw Likes anyone. yknow. just fun Banter. smokepaw, who doesnt Know at this point you’re not supposed to like cats from other clans that way, lets it slip that they like 1 of the apprentices in shadowclan. this. Does not go well. really it’s just home of phobia at its finest. Obviously the apprentices snitch to the higher ups, and Smokepaw receives a whole lecture about the ‘Importance of the warrior code’ and how ‘yeah you’re not a Real clan cat so of course you cant understand how IMPORTANT the code is’. this is something told to them by the LEADER. a scolding from the Big Boss. and this ends up bein the Final Straw for smokepaw. they fucking go ham and SNAP. yknow how ive gone off about the Issues w/ warrior cats? yeah they do That basically. 

So they have their mini-revolution moment, dragging out all of the clans faults in the form of speech. Obviously other cats end up hearing their rant, and are all...unsure about what to do about this. Smokepaw ends their rant by now rejecting the name the clan has given them, and swears that the clans will all tear themselves apart by their own claws. or smthing like that. smthing over the top and Dramatic along the lines of ‘ouroboros eating itself” and whatnot. 

Smoke quits the clan and runs away. Before leaving the territories though, they do try to find patchpaw. at this point, patchpaw has been promoted to patchpelt. Smoke tells patchpelt about everything that has happened, and how theyre leaving. They ask if patchpelt wants to run away with them. Patchpelt is too conflicted to answer this, and ends up saying she cant leave behind her life like that. Smoke is obviously a bit.... saddened. Devastated if you will by this. But they understand, and leave patchpelt behind.

Patchpelt, who was a warrior, quickly finds herself getting tired by the clans bs. She tries to switch her path to become a medicine cat to fix the problem, hoping now she wont have to tag along with the whole “fighting eachother over nothing” shit, but it doesnt work. She..... regrets not running away with smoke. practically everyday. 

Smoke, while away, goes on a series of journeys and what have you. to TL;DR it, they end up meeting Midnight and become a bit of an apprentice to her and learn. a LOT. smoke Super Woke now. They also find a kit/apprentince along their journey, a 3 legged bastard of a gremlin cat named Three, who they end up taking care of. There is also another kid Smoke adopts named Rattail, who. as her name implies, has a... rat tail. Rattail is a bit scarred all over so they have a lotta bare patches of skin and what have you. Somewhere down the line, smoke decides to name themself Smokeweed out of a funni ‘haha. like Weed the drug’ and in a bit of a spite move against the clans.

Some More Time down the road, Smokeweed actually comes back to the clans to see what’s going on. It happens to be they’ve stopped by at a time all the clans are at each others throats. They have a reuinting moment with Patchpelt, who now is like “oh god please for the love of god get me out of here” . so they run off together for Realizies now. 

This lil family ends up settlin down at the Church place in that. Tigerheart Superedition book. personally i like thts a Nice Place and think it’s a fitting and sweet end to let the 4 all get to.. settle down. be happy and safe away from the clans and all their bs. they just Vibe..... and life is good for them. thats the End. <3

[cinnamonrollstark]

Thoughts on Endgame

Sorry guys, again, in case you dont realise, THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS

If you havent seen the movie, scroll on. If you dont scroll, and dont have your tags blacklisted, dont come at me my bros.

This post will be very chaotic, wont lie.

Who puts mayo on a hotdog?

How about ketchup?

The dust in the wind, man, gave me chills

Tony and Nebula friendship! Yes motherfuckers!

Tony so looked on the verge of tears holy shit

First qualm: captain marvel saved them awful fast. Nothing to show how she knew they were there, maybe it was in some scene of captain marvel or something but ??? Like that was quick

I LOST THE KID OHMYFUCKING GOD

Tony looked so thin holyshit

YES MY MAN IN A CAN TELL THAT MOTHERFUCKER OFF

YOU FUCKING WARNED THEM

"You said we'd do that together, and YOU WERENT THERE."

Yes Tony jesus let all that anger out

Handing his metaphorical heart to Steve got me choked up

"Went for the head" fuck yeah you did

FIVE YEARS WTF

Okay Ant Man bringing Joy, as always. So glad to see you, my little buggy friend

Also thank you to that rat?

TONYS A DAD

MORGAN IS PRECIOUS

Not that it's a competition, but she loves me 3000

And so do we bud, and we always will

TONY FIGURING OUT THE TIME LOOP

"Shit!"

Okay I'm glad yall made up but it couldve gone better idk

I get that it was played for laughs, but there was a little too much emphasis on Thor's weight

The taco though

I get it was showing how much his character had changed

However, it felt body shamy idk

But he was still funny as hell

And with everything he was such a mood

Thor crying fucked me up though

Same for hawkeye

Like man, Thor and Hawkeye, and a little bit of Steve cry a whole lot in this movie

FRIGGA

LOKI

LOKI AND FRIGGA

"IM TOTALLY FROM THE FUTURE"

"Are you crying?" "What? No, absolutely not." *thor cries.* "okay yes fine I'm crying.

"Hail Hydra" okay but why was that hot, Steve, how did you make that hot

"I could do this all day." "Agh, yeah, I know."

I'm going inside you

Also this is reflecting back but I dont think I'll ever get the image if hulk dabbing out of my head

Loki disappearing with the tesseract was a mood

HE HAD A HIPPY BEARD

TONY AND HOWARD

Still doesnt make Howard good in my eyes, but I'm glad Tony got some closure

STEVE AND PEGGY

TONY oh my God that awkward hug was everything

Act 2

NEBULA I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

Clint and Nat being jokey in the jet

They have no idea

Red skull again!

"I want to kill myself!" "No me!"

"Let me go"

"No."

"Its okay."

The score jesus christ so many chills.

Clint waking up and sobbing with the soul stone okay fine just rip my heart out, then

Aaand Cap is crying

Hulk come on, stop acting so angry at Clint

He was there and you werent

He really tried

OH COME ON THANOS YOU PURPLE DICK FACE BASTARD WHY YOU GOTTA DO THAT

Making the infinity gauntlet holy shiiit

Tony's is so much sleeker than Thaddys

THE SNAP

THE PHONE CALL

CLINTS FACE

THE SHOT OF ANT MAN LOOKING UP AND SEEING THE SHIP BEFORE IT ALL GOES TO SHIT

Act 3

Oh wow I forgot for a hot minute that Rhodey doesnt walk the same

Awww Rocket you can get out of there I promise you little buddy!!

Where did that lead you... back to me

That whole sequence was just CINEMATICALLY brilliant

Also can we just talk about how Thor's hair styled itself with lightning?

Also if you dont still think thicc thor is hot you're a fake fan

But I get it if yourr not in it for the alcoholism

LIGHTNINNNG

OH MY FUCJING GOD

THE FUCKING HAMMER

HES WORTHY

"I KNEW IT"

Yes the fuck you did

And so did we

On your left!!!!

Oh my God the look on their faces was just amazing

WHEN ALL THE PORTALS OPENED UP

I LITERALLY STARTED TEARING UP

SPIIIIDEY

HES WORTH ANOTHER THOUGHT

PETER MOTHERFUCKING PARKER, JUST SWINGING ALONG

"You're never gonna believe- remember when we were in space? And we got all dusty?" "That yellow sparky thing he does a lot"

Irondad hug oh my FUCK

"Well this is nice."

GAUNTLET FOOTBALL

CAPTAIN MARVEL

SPIDEY IN INSTANT KILL MODE YESSS

PETER CLUTCHING YHE GAUNTLET WAS UNBEARABLY ADORABLE

"Hi Peter Parker."

"If I tell you it wont happen."

Tell him, Stephen, please, we cant lose him. But we will, and theres no way around that.

Strange holding up the '1' with his finger

After that I was a mess for the rest of the film

You sneaky amazing cinnimon roll, snatching up those stones

"I am Iron Man."

YES THE FUCK YOU ARE

DUSTY ASS THANOS

BYE BYE MOTHER FUCKER

I was sobbing at this point because I knew.

"Mr Stark? Mr. Stark, we won! You did it."

Oh lord I've never seen Peter cry like that and it ripped out my soul

"We'll be okay. You can rest now."

I was actually audibly weeping, and didnt give a shit.

Hawkeye family reunion!

Tony's goodbye message

I love you 3000 (pt. 2, the weepy remix)

The funeral.

The arc reactor at the lake

"Proof that Tony stark has a heart"

Peter baby I'm so sorry!

Harley!! Hey bud, it's been a while!

NED AND PETER REUNION I REPEAT

HANDSHAKE HANDSHAKE

DONT CRY NED YOU SWEET PRECIOUS BOY

We know where you're going, Steve. Dont be so dramatic (but we still love you)

Old! Steve!

Sir you do not age how I believe you would age but okay

Raisin Clint Eastwood hands Sam the sheild

Nothing against Sam, I just figured since he knew Bucky longer, it would go to him

But comic accurate, and it was still beautiful

The peggy dance and kiss

*EXCEPT TONY SHOULDNT HAVE DIED YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS*

[oh-woops]

That ghost can suck it because that ghost is a nobody

People are like missed matched socks

Roses are red

Emo elf likes the colour black

Jesus looked at me and turned his back

Honey melon sounds like a cute ship name owo

Im gonna start a fire i don't know where or when but i will

Never mind honey lemon sounds better tbh

Don't let the breeze blow

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty dumpty had a great fall (plot twist???)

Far from a cry

Welcome to the neighborhood

Try falling in love with taking care of yourself

That's ok if people don't like me

I like me lmao

Good times couldn't last forever

Old things we thought would never die

What a lovely way to lie

In a happy place there has to be that one sad thing to make your happy place feel human and that's you

To get rid of the bad apples you have to get rid of the tree

Another child left behind

Horrible + terrible = torrible

Can you get high off inhaler puffs???

Hopeless roadkills

Rosadusk ville

Are you satisfied with all the glowing eyes?

Would you like hearing the smoldering slience you made?

Will you ever say goodbye to all your lies?

Do you remember the pain of those helpless roadkills?

I'll hold you before the monster takes you

Holy strawberries

It's peaceful sometimes so i don't mind

Mother of filp flops

Fear dinner

Fear the dinner table and whats on the plates

Pass the point of no return

See an air ship

Beyond bucktooth cliff

Sa yo na ra (why must banana fish do this to me ; w ;)

The bottle of grief

What the rats seek

Maybe you wouldn't know

Paradise can't always be forever

We can keep warm while we burn the flowers

I am the physical embodiment of spilt milk

Am i allowed to be breathing

I am a fish drowning

What's the equivalent of living

Sleeping, i never thought i would have a hard time

But maybe that my fault

For taking 10 puff my inhaler

And I'm over dosed from the bottle of trying to get paler

Legends of the old timey experts

Kids with melting brains

I love to watch pain(t) dry

I saw the crash about to happen yet i couldn't prevent it

I guess the world really is full of assholes

The legend of the bucktooth massacre

Roadkill Riot

In someone's perspective I'm most probably a human stepping stone to them

For a place that never laughs

I think it pretty radiant

I like it here

Blithe

Linda Heart (character name???)

Blissful humiliation

Molotov cocktails

I really wanna be rebellious and badass but i also don't like cops or getting grounded

Suck a mango bitch

Are you looking after yourself?

Oh fuck off

From your description, you do not just want to be friends with everyone, you want everyone to be friends with you as well. The answer is that you can't. There will always be someone who is not goin0g to be your friend no matter what.

This isn't right. Im supposed to be the happy go lucky person in the family, the optimistic one who always likes to smile. If i can't even do that then why am i here? Why was i made if I'm just useless. Im not smart, im not athletic ,im not good at art or anykind of art, i suck at drawing, i suck at writing, i suck at acting, and i suck at music. If im not good at anything am even worth anything good?

Don't touch her im a doctor

Till we meet again, miss linda

For someone who's annoyingly happy go lucky all the time you're being very pessimistic right now

Homophoney

I am certain that i am certainly uncertain

Im just as retarded as a goldfish

Baby it's not me because maybe it's you

See u in hell

What makes you think this isn't your fault either. You made them like this, it was your fault from the beginning. We could've ended this peacefully. We could have liberated their poor souls. But now, now this can be over and we can finally be one again. See you in hell.

The cup is half empty. But that's not a bad thing, because even if it's empty you could still fill it up

People can be confusing... usually man is portrayed as strong and brave. But sometimes a single things can shatter them into a million pieces. A single word can send them into spiralling darkness. Which is why i dont do much, i dont speak much either, because i know that anything i do, anything i say will have consequences. (Que something dramatic). What did i do wrong? Why is this my fault? I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't do anything! "That's right, you didn't do anything", said a voice from the back of my head. It's all my fault.. i could've stopped them from falling.

You lied! You said that you would protect them! You saw how they looked, the fear in their eyes... they just wanted to be heard! And now look at what you've done... dont you ever speak their names again, hear their cries, you monster! You deserve to live with guilt. They were my friends... your friends... they were just here. And now they're gone...

I want to kermit suicide

I just want to do not living

I want to kermit not living

Just us kids

No amount of bandages can heal this now

Just like old times

There's always dinner waiting on the table, you know!

The girl as short can be then disappeared

"I just want to stop all the scars that grow, everytime that I go home

That's why I came up here instead"

That's what the girl in the yellow cardigan said

Taking off my yellow cardigan

Watching all my braids come undone

This petite girl, short as can be

Is gonna jump now

And be free

Yeah I dont think I can do this anymore

Nah we r disgusting creatures that kill innocent animals to feast and destroy our planet for our very own self satisfaction

I know communication for u is hard but if u keep stalling miscommunications can and will bite u in the ass sooner or later

It might be endless possibilities but in the end there is only one out come

Ya dingdong

Acting old doesnt make u mature, it just makes you boring

I just pulled the trigger

When the day after t omorrow comes

Will you shut up?! I'm monologueing here!

If the plane delays I'll swim all the way to ur doorstep and give u, ur tea leaves

DAMN TEA LEAVES

"Once we've reached our full potential we can finally put an end to this disgusting society and find an ending to this sad excuse of a story, once we've found the finale we can ascend... and soon... you will call us ascendant"

Shut the hell your mouth

Eff u

Is that an insult or a to do list

I hate sleeping because who knows when you'll wake up again

Everything you wished to be

Garbanzo

Garb n' anzo

(TV SHOWWW for le comic~ man I am a genius)

What once was your friend can become your enemy

Dont worry

You maybe her first love

But I'll be her last

Chemtrails

I just want to be your friend

Dont bleed on my floor

Fight me

Clairvoyance

The clairvoyant of the bucktooth massacre

Ethnic cleansing

The culprits

The victims

The witnesses

Even if u piss me off 24/7 I'd honestly do anything for u

Ethnic cleansing for the wayward unforgiving roadkills

[signal-lost]

Wednesday

I’d made the mistake

of somehow checking our old messages

and found a new one

a new message

a new pit of despair

a new knife through my

heart

throat

everything

it came last wednesday

but its been more than four hours

four

i went to class a wet mess

nobody asked

because i never let anyone see

nobody gets to see

Seven years

almost seven years

seven years of what

suffering?

Love?

Hate?

Against my better judgement

i read your messages

23 of them

again

Words and phrases jump out at me

“I just wanted you to be happy. I wanted us to be happy together.’”

HAPPY HAPPY?!

i didn’t realize happiness

involved yelling

and saying you were wasting your life

is that your way of saying you love me?

Is it??

I ask rhetorical questions

because i know you’ll never see these

so close, yet so far

do you really know how i feel?

Is it my fault?

Is it your fault?

Is it abuse?

Is it not abuse?

These are answeres I’ll never get

because i’ll always crawl on my belly back to you

appologizing for my behavior

i hate myself

i hate myself

fat

ugly

stupid

“How could I ever trust you again?”

You lost mine that day

“How could I believe you?”

Its all your fault

“Could I trust you to do something for me?”

I’d just disappoint you.

“Could I trust you to trust me?”

no why should i trust you you dont care if im happy or not you make me MISERABLE I WAS MISERABLE BECAUSE OF YOU i am still miserable because of you

i will never again tell you my secrets

i will never again tell you the things i love

i will never love you the same again

i will never truly trust you ever again

i want to be happy

i will never again be happy

i will never again be happy i will never again be happy

I WILL NEVER AGAIN BE HAPPY

and i blame you.

but thats not very fair, now is it.

i’ve clearly made you suffer

you didn’t even bother hiding you were ok

when your ex messaged me here

you’re suffering?

how

enlighten the FUCK out of me

is it your courses?

is it your psychology class?

is it me?

i bet its me

i bet you think i’ve been so horrible to you

ignoring you for days on end

how DARE i huh

how DARE I have a fucking emotional breakdown

clearly im being dramatic

how DARE i not talk to you for days

like i’m not clearly mad

how dare i lie to your face

because i’m afraid of you

and what you’ll say to me

how fucking dare i

Truth is

I dont know what the truth is anymore

because this happens every time

i think i have a reasonable reason to be mad

but in the end, you always make me think that its ME

that its ME at fault

and i dont know even trust myself anymore

is this what seven fucking years of contact does?

my roommate said our problem is communication

maybe it is

my other friends say you’re abusing me

maybe you are

but you know what

i dont know

i’m contemplating so many things

suicide

leaving you forever

dropping out of school

i’m a coward

so suicide isn’t an option

because as you know

i always change my mind

leaving you forever

its a possibility

because despite how much you say you love me

why am i always miserable?

dropping out of school

the most likely

why?

i’ll tell you my dear

Because I’m a waste of space

Because my grades are terrible

Because my parents and Nonno shouldn't have to waste money on me

Because i’ll never make it as an artist

thats your opinion up there!

aren’t you proud?

you should be

then i’ll finally get a job

be a cog in the machine of society

lose my individuality

be nothing but a rat

Because really

i am nothing but a lowly

vile

rat

and some day

there might be a future rat lover

who will pick me up and love me

and i’ll happily become his wife

and do nothing

but keep house

raise kids

and die unfulfilled

but really, what about you?

you’ll become a teacher

maybe in the future

you’ll teach my kids

and some day we’ll be forced to meet

at a conference

because my children will be as shitty as I was

and i’ll lie to you some more

about how im happy

about how i have everything

about how good my daughter is at art

because i wont do what my mother did

i wont do what society did

i wont do what YOU did

if she wants to become something

and she loves it

i will tell her to get it

and let no one get in her way

i will not let her lead my life

a life of being alone

a life of being “strong”

while being slowly killed by it

a life of being a doormat and a rug

But thats an unwritten future

if anythingi’ll remain alone

like you said

and you?

who knows.