#im not gonna go around and start harassing people because 1. it wont change a thing

[kupocoin]

hmm

[writeouttaluck]

A story about Racing, Police ignorance, and Love Ft. This Corny Ass Title.

((Wrote this over two days. little editing, lots of writing.))

The camera in my hand could hardly hold steady and I had a grin ear to ear on my face like a village idiot. From the passenger seat, I could see the excitement on Jessie’s face as she brought the car to a slow. It was 1:00 AM and she had somehow gone undefeated, back to back, in a series of drag races on the street. Five races, five wins, and a whole lot of promised money would probably make anybody grin ear to ear.

I turned the camera to her and without missing a beat, she turned and stuck her tongue out at me.

“Tell me, Jessie, How does it feel to win three grand without lifting a finger for work?” I asked in my best fake news anchor voice.

“Feels fucking good!” She shouted, slapping the steering wheel in joy.

I was caught on a laugh and it almost felt like that teeth chattering cold feeling running up my spine. Pure electricity. We were both having the time of our lives and I felt closer than ever to her.

“Woah, what the hell?” She murmured under her breath.

I must have held the camera on her longer than i thought because when i turned to look out the windshield, the crowd was dispersing fast. All the people that were once watching were now either running to cars, their friends with cars, or just plain running. They scattered like ants before us. I zoomed my camera in and followed two people as they ran and hopped a fence into someones backyard.

Thats when we both noticed the bright red and blue flashing lights up ahead. Fuck.

A portly man jogged through the crowd and towards our car, reaching to his hip. He stopped in our headlights and yelled something. To our suprise, he drew his gun and aimed at us through the windshield.

“STOP RIGHT THERE. STOP RIGHT THERE” He shouted at us.

I looked to Jessie who seemed to be weighing her options. She stared at the cop infront of us and chewed her lip, a nervous tic i've noticed over the years. Illuminated by the flashing lights, she grew a small smile.

“Put on your seatbelt” she said quietly.

“Its already on” I replied.

“Good”

She shifted the car into reverse and stuck her hand out of the window, raising her middle finger.

“FUCK YOU, PIG!”

I didnt even have time to laugh at her tenacity before I was thrown forward in my seat. She had hit the gas so hard that we spun the tires going backwards. She turned around in her seat to look out the back window and I raised the camera out the windsheild. The cop knew that pointing his gun was useless since he had no real reason to use it. He wasnt about to kill us over a drag race.

He started talking into his radio and I laughed. I laughed hard. One hand on the steering wheel and one on the top of my seat, Jessie watched the road behind her as she drove backwards at high speeds. I watched her through my camcorder. Her eyes said determination but her lips said fun. I looked at her skinny form admirably. Her dyed hair fluttered in the wind and her silver lip piercing caught the dashboard light just right. Watching her in her element like this was stunning. She did it all with such a natural grace. Her motions sharp and accurate like a blade under flesh.

She dropped back into the drivers seat and wrapped her hand around the e-brake. With one hand grabbing the ‘oh shit’ handle above me and another on my camera, I braced myself.

She yanked the handle back and spun the steering wheel, throwing our momentum to the left. As the car spun, She grabbed the shifter and threw it into first. She dropped her foot into the gas pedal and the car caught traction. I sank back into my seat as we took off again. The engine roared in a fury, drowning out all noise around us. A light flashed on the dash and she hit the clutch, shifting again. The car lurched and went faster.

She was grinning wide as the blue lights became distant behind us. She shifted again and gained more speed. The houses, trees, sidewalks, all became a blur as we blasted through the neighborhood.

All of a sudden a police car with the blues on pulled out infront of us and stopped, blocking the intersection ahead. Jessie laid the gas into the floor and shifted again. I looked over at her like she was crazy. She smiled and concentrated on the car ahead. We must have been going at least 80 at this point.

The car was getting closer when all of a sudden i felt our momentum swing again. Jessie had pulled the e-brake again and hit the gas, sending us swinging around to face where we came. I could smell the burning rubber around us. The smell got worse as Jessie put the car in first again and slammed the gas, taking off in the opposite direction of the cop car.

I looked behind us to watch as the cop car turned to follow. Of course, considering how Jessie was driving, I wasnt sure If it would be able to keep up. The car lurched as Jessie shifted. The mustang revved hard and kept pace, sending us down the street.

Two more cop cars showed up in the distance. I could see their blues before i could see their headlights. They were headed straight for us, side by side. No way around them.

I watched Jessie analyze it all. She was quick like this. She knew the curb was too high to climb without popping any tires. She also knew that these dumb ass cops werent backing down.

One cop car behind us, two infront of us.

She took her chances with the one behind us.

She slammed on the brakes, coming to a skidding stop in the middle of the street. The cop behind us, who had been picking up too much speed, had no choice but to either crash into us or swerve around us.

The cop car swung itself around our vehical and came a stop in the center of the intersection. This also blocked off the two cop cars ahead. Jessie threw the car in reverse once more and hit the gas, sending us backwards. She looked behind her for an opening and as soon as she found herself in a spot with no cars parked on the side of the road, she swung the mustang around again and put it in first, launching off for the final time tonight.

We peeled out and we were gone.

…

The street lights strobed through the windshield as the mustang flew down the street. Tunes poured from the radio and filled the car with good vibes. Every so often the car would lurch as Jessie shifted, but otherwise it was smooth sailing. Cops were long gone, probably trying to pull the fingers out of their ass so they could keep harassing people like us.

“Fuck the po” Jessie stated, turning down the radio a bit.

“They really are fucking worthless around here” I replied in earnest.

“You think theyre still stuck in that intersection trying to figure out how to get around one another?”

I laughed a bit at that.

“Probably” I said.

It was quiet for a bit with no other sounds save for the engine and the semi quiet radio. I stole glances at her from the passenger seat and I could tell she was thinking kinda hard about something. It made me wonder what the next step in the night would be.

“Tonight has been fun” she started, “but it kinda sucks that im gonna have to have my car painted again”

“Why is that again?” I asked

“Well, I cant exactly drive around freely in this thing when the police are on the look out for a red Ford Mustang. Kinda beats the point of running from the police”

“I get that...Still, you made a good chunk of change tonight. I imagine it wont run you too much to paint it, will it?”

“Nah” She replied, “but I dont know… I liked the red. I thought it looked nice…”

“Well I think you look better when youre not behind bars…” I said softly, almost wishing she didnt hear me at all.

“Yeah, its not exactly something I wanna see in the mirror every morning”

We sat in silence for another moment before i could scrape up the words to keep the conversation going.

“What color?” I asked.

“Hmm?”

“What color are you gonna paint it this time?”

The corner of her mouth twisted in contemplation.

“Well it was black, then that color got too hot...I liked red but this just isnt gonna do anymore…”

“How about pink?”

“Ew, no” she grimaced, “Talk about a big red flag saying ‘Im a female and i think its important above all that everyone should know that””

“I think thats a bit of a stereotype”

“Yeah? Well stereotypes exist for a reason.”

“Ok, ok, what about something fancy?”

“Like…?”

“Well, ive seen a few cars do a sort of sunburst color. Im not sure how expensive it would be to get that, but i think it could look nice. Besides, you could still use the red on your car for either the top or bottom depending how you do it.”

“Hmm...ya know, thats not a bad idea….”

“I also think it would be cool if you made the center black. Like a zero sun or something”

“Im gonna have to have someone sketch something but… I think i dig the idea of it…”

Jessie pulled the car to a slow and turned into her driveway. Hitting the button she had strapped to the visor, the garage door slowly rose open. She drove the car inside and hit the button again, closing it behind her.

With that, she turned the car off and opened the door, getting out. I followed suit.

As I stood from the car, the first thing Jessie did was pop the hood and walk over to the mini fridge in her garage. She leaned over and opened the door, grabbing two beers from the rack before shutting it. She brought one over and put it in my hands before cracking her own and taking a sip.

She sighed deep and walked over to her tool box, grabbing her socket wrench and bits, before standing over the engine bay.

“Timing is always a bit off with this thing…” she muttered as she went under the hood.

I cracked the top of my own beer before sitting down in the office chair she had lying around. I took a hearty drink from the bottle as I was quite parched. Moving fast and dodging cops really worked up a thirst, even though i was only filming it.

I watched Jessie tinker with the motor again. I don't think she will ever be satisfied with it even though it does the job just fine. Thats one part of her that really gets me. She loves her car a lot, Almost too much. She loves it to the point where I sometimes wonder if she really can really love another person beyond a one night stand. I can almost understand such a fondness for something inanimate, I mean, I love my camera to death and I use it almost as much as Jessie drives her car, but it almost makes me feel... Jealous. And even thinking that makes me cringe a bit. The idea that I would be jealous over the way someone treats an inaminate object over me is just silly. But god damn it if sometimes i dont get frustrated.

Ive had a crush on Jessie for nearly 2 years. She means the world to me and im not sure if she even knows that. I spend most of my free time with her. Ive loaned her cash many times either to put into her car or on tools. I mean she always pays me back and thats fine, but i just wish that I could say the thing that I wanna say without coming off as some weirdo. I dont even think she sees me in that way and it hurts.

It hurts really fucking bad.

I take another long drink from the bottle until its empty. I place the empty bottle on her work bench and grab another from the fridge, quickly popping the cap off.

Its not even her fault. Its not her fault at all. Its my fault for always being such a chickenshit anytime the moment arises. She even teases me about getting a girlfriend so she can steal her. (She is bi, but i dont think she would actually do that to me. Jessie is a good friend and if anything, she would probably act as my wingman. Shes cool like that.) It really blows that she pretty much sees me as a brother...or a lamp.

I dont wanna be a fucking lamp.

I watch as she cranks away at some form of machinery under the hood. Youd think after all this time spent around her, talking about cars and racing, that i would learn a few things. And i cant tell you that youd be wrong. I. Am. A. Dumbass. When it comes to cars.

Ask me about film or editing or what-have-you and i can pull answers out of my ass all day long. But anything beyond a standard oil change? No idea.

I watched as she went to take a sip from her own beer only to find it empty.

“Hey nerd boy, wanna grab me another beer?”

And like the whipped dog i am, I got right up and grabbed her another bottle.

I set it down on the car just a tad harder then i intended and winced when she took notice. It did not damage the car or anything, but there was a notable change in mood.

Fuck.

She set a hand on my shoulder before i could go sit back in my pity corner.

“Is something wrong, dude?” The way she looked at me pierced me. I was stuck. And if i didnt say something soon i was gonna look like a weirdo.

I sorta shook my shoulder, the one her hand was on, a bit to see if she would remove it. She didnt.

“Its nothing, really. Im just thinking about something shitty that youtube did, thats all.” I spoke quietly before looking away.

Her hand stayed on my shoulder, firmy clamped. Not enough to feel pain, but enough to know she was squeezing it in consolement.

My lonely ass practically shivered at the touch. Ive been starved of human contact for far too long.

“Yeah, im not buying that. Look at me” she said firmly.

When i didnt move my head from the side, she set the tool in her hand down on the car and grabbed my jawline, moving my head to face her.

She stared at me in something mixed with concern and...i guess something like motherly instinct?

“Why dont you tell me whats really going on? I know you too well to know that something small would bug you this much.”

I decided that I could probably get away with a half lie. Probably.

“I uh… Ive been having trouble with this girl…” I started sounding more unsure than id hoped. Motherfucker…

Her eyes lit up for a second. Shock? Suprise? Yeah I wouldnt believe me either.

“You actually found a girlfriend?” She asked quickly, somewhere between suprise and excitement.

“Well, I uh...No… Its more like I have a...crush…on this girl.” I spoke slowly trying to keep my tone even.

She then let go of me and speed walked over to grab both of the wheelie chairs and set them so they faced each other. All in one motion, she made sure we both had bottles in our hands and we were sitting down facing each other.

“So…” She started, “Tell me about this girl…”

I sat and thought about the most vauge things I could bring up so that I could wiggle out of this.

“Well, uh, shes got shorter hair. Not quite short, but about shoulder length. She has these beautiful eyes. Amazing, stunning, eyes…. Shes uh, a bit on the shorter side but i think thats adorable, really…”

“She sounds cute!” Jessie started, bouncing her legs in place excitedly. “Whats she like?”

“What do you mean?”

I knew what she mean.

“Ya know… like her personality or whatever…”

“Oh, yeah” i said rubbing the back of my neck nervously, “She uh...Shes real tom boyish, likes to play rough and have fun on the wild side of things...She also isnt afraid of anyone or anything and could probably take down people twice her size anyday of the week...She also has a really cool music taste...Shes one in a million, really”

I saw something flash real quick in her eyes before switching back. Oh fuck. She knows…

“Well she sounds like someone special” She said taking a sip of beer, “Have you thought of how youre gonna tell her?”

My heart started pounding. It was pounding harder than it was when the police were on our ass less than an hour ago.

“See now, thats the frustrating part. Im always trying to figure out how im gonna tell her...but im afraid she will be put off by me…”

“And whys that?” Jessie asked me.

“Because...uh...because…” I stammered trying to think of something to say.

Her eyes shined brightly and bored into my own. She concentrated on me like I was the only thing visible to man. I could feel my palms start to sweat.

“Because….me and her...got really close over the past two years...and i dont think she shares the same feelings...thats why its frustrating.”

Jessie leaned back in her office chair and drank down the rest of her beer before continuing.

“I see…” she started, “And would this girl happen to own a red ford mustang that she enjoys racing with and using to run from the police when the occasion arises?”

I looked down at my feet and nodded my head yes.

I heard the glass of her bottle clinking against the concrete floor before she rolled her chair closer to mine. I felt her hand around my jaw line again. This time it was more of a caress than a grab. She slowly lifted my chin up to meet her and my first expectation was to get laughed at for my burning red cheeks.

Once we were both staring at each other, I saw her move in closer to my face.

Her eyes drifted shut and before i knew it, her lips were against mine. It was a light kiss with hardly any movement. Timid and testing, like a deer investigating something new in the wild. I felt her head tilt more to the side and i did the same in the opposite direction.

I….I didnt really know how to feel. I was overwhelmed, trying too hard to read the situation at hand. My brain was going so fast i felt like my head was gonna explode.

And before i realized how amazing this moment truly was, she broke away from the kiss.

To my suprise, her breath was actually a bit laboured. And she stared at me with a big smile on her face.

“Ive been waiting....two long years for that, nerd boy.” she whispered so softly.

This time, I grabbed her chair and pulled her too me as I met her with my lips again. Our faces came together and this time it was all a lot messier. She moved her lips against mine, roughly, hungrilly even. I tried to mirror what she did but to be honest, my experience with kissing was minimal. Then I felt something poke between my lips and at my teeth.

I opened my mouth a bit more to accept her tongue. I could feel her reach behind my head and grab on, shoving us closer together. I ran my hands up her back, watching not to cross any boundies.

It was like a dance, really. She lead and i followed. And what a dance it was.

We broke apart for air and stared at each other. My hands had rested at her hips and she had a hand on each shoulder. We were both just about hanging off the edge of our chairs.

Out of breath she spoke quietly.

“Backseat?”

I nodded frantically, like my life depended on it.

“Backseat”

[despairfullies-blog]

Callout for garbageday

urls: pyukumu, choromaso, etc.

TW: abuse, rape threats, suicide threats, etc.

This was the last thing i wanted to do pertaining to this whole drama but yea ive never written a callout before so please bear with me through this ill do my best. Im also getting help with this from amazing friends so here we go:

First off im gonna start by debunking my callout he made by trying to go through each point gaster has made to the of my ability. If you dont know what callout that is just click here:

1. I dont remember this ever occurring?? If i did i a sincerely sorry for that. I do not mean to make anyone unomfortable on here, so if i did indeed do that i am completely sorry and ill do anything to earn forgiveness from the person in question

2. None of that dialouge was from me, i have never dated gaster nor broken up with him. The whole breakup thing was my system mate, Tsubaki. He isnt currently fronting or i would have him do something about all of that but he is the one that dated gaster in the past. I had no romantic/sexual relation to gaster in the slightest so all those screenshots are not of me. Tsubaki has abandonment issues and was very dependent on gaster so their breakup was a rocky one. I have no right to say much else unfortunately cause i am not tsubaki but if you want proof of them dating, Tsubaki has had many chatter between him and gaster on his old blog here

3. Im not gonna deal with the whole id thing. If i really must i will, but i have made myself clear many times. Some of those ids are for coping while some im just questioning. Im sorry me iding with those people make you uncomfortable and if they do you can block me, but because my mental state isnt that good rn i cant say much else about all of that. This will probably be the weakest point in my arguement cause that all is a drama on its own

4. All of ‘that’ was in reference to gaster being emotional manipulative to my system mate. My system mate broke down so in turn i acted out like that. I might have said some rude things but on most basis’ the things i said were true. He is abusive, manipulative, and at this point obsessive which ill get to later on. All in all i probably shouldnt have said such rude words to him, but i will not back down from saying he did have some of it coming

5 (All of the bonus content). I have never contacted gaster on Christmas eve. Im not sure if one of my system mates did?? But i can say for certain i never did in the slightest. I have never tried to do sexual contact with a minor. If i really have please show me proof cause i have never seen or heard of any of this?? I am a very flirtatious person, a any of my mutuals can agree on, but like i said i do not want to make anyone uncomfortable so if that really happened i am truly sorry. If i pressured you into sexting too i am sorry about that, i do admit i was very unstable before but im doing my best to change, make friends, etc. So i am sorry if you felt that way and i had done that. And the last one, i have never admitted i am a pedophile. Never in my life have i done that. Im sorry if you thought that but i am not a pedophile case closed.

Alright all of that is done now for the actual callout of this ,,,, individual:

Gaster is a manipulative, abusive, and once again obsessive individual. Lets start off with that fact he was emotional abusive to my system mate while they were dating. For instance he would make Tsubaki front practically days and weeks in a row even tough told many times that he is unstable and cant do that and when Tsubaki did not front he would harras whoever was in front till they would make Tsubaki front (Im cropping out his username on skype for safety for gaster)

He even told my system mate was fake after having accepted him and us as a system for around a year. He would try to blame this onto tsubaki and us as a whole whenever Tsubaki said/did something that would make gaster upset. Im all for helping your partner through something like this, but when its only to manuiplate him/her thats uncalled for. This isnt the first time he plays the ‘your existance is fake’ card but this was the first time he did

He also did alot more manipulative and abusive things towards my system mate but i wont talk further about this because this is someting my system mate should be saying, not me. Now as for the recent drama with gaster, between me and him, he has done many things including sending anon hate inculding rape threats, abuse threats, and suicide threats (i crop most of them cause of convince sake)

He has also sent my irl gore, but unfortunately i dont have any of that screenshoted cause i deleted the instant it was in my submission box. All i have as proof are the countless emails i was sent from tumblr telling me someone put something in my submission.

Last but not least he had the idea i had ‘told my followers to harass him’ which i never stated in my lifetime here on this tumblr. But he thought and proceeded to messege me

I do admit i was mean to Tsubaki. Me and him are working through all of that but thats a different talk all together.

Now one last thing before i wrap this up. One of my friends (who ill let remain anonymous due to everything) also got hurt by him. He showed how he was not only rude to my friend, but also the fact that he would manipulate my system mate Tsubaki once he lived him (which btw is another thing gaster did he tried to peer pressure my system mate into living with him)

Anyways long story short, gaster is manipulative, abusive, and down right obsessive at this rate. I admit im not a fantastic guy either, but i dont want to fight anymore. Im not gaster’s ex, i have no beef with him except for all of this. Ive just tipped the ice berg with everything gaster has done so if you need me to provide more evidence please let me know. Thank you everyone and i hope you have a nice day.