#im not gonna respond to them so this blog is my vent space

[its-tortle]

i commented on an ig reel of someone trying to do a bad blood (hey stop version) during one o the gilette shows and literally what kind of weird fucking argument response did i just get

[airxn]

GETTING TO KNOW THE MUN!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: my name is luri and in the future i do plan on legally changing my middle name to lurianne ( because i respond to luri faster than my actual name oops oops!! )

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: she/her and i don't mind they/them either!

MUSE NAME: the mains are airin and xavier, but i also have the emperor from bg3, canon-divergent oaki from botw / totk, and ikuto from shugo chara!

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: i dont mind if we get each others vibes first in ims, but i do prefer discord because im always on there and will be faster to respond!

EXPERIENCE: i started rping on tumblr like, 11-12 years ago now? i haven't used other platforms and rarely use discord because haha... i forget...... replies all the time there...

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: i love the usual para, but also adore the "texting" style and short form because in my experience it really dishes out character dynamics way faster than para rps.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: the biggest deal breaker is not communicating when there's an issue that leads to toxic behaviors that affect other people, especially myself. other peeves are using your blog as your primary venting source AND using it to vague other people– be better folks and keep it private.

PLOTS OR MEMES: when it comes to plotting i prefer plotting the beginning of it and then letting it be by the seat of our pants until we need to discuss in depth again. i can not guarantee my muses will follow a plot and they will deviate depending on what's happening. as for memes, love them! especially when they're silly.

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: i absolutely struggle with novella. i will admit it. i hate writing fluff to fill in the space just so that it appears im also writing novella, but it doesn't mean i won't reply. you gotta give me.... 5-7 months to get back to you oops oops!! so i prefer like 3-5 paragraphs since that's way more manageable for me.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: mornings... when night hits, aka when everyone is active, is when i'd rather be gaming or watching something. the day is done! i must cocoon... but mornings is when i'll dish things out way faster and i don't use queue anymore. when im done writing, im gonna post it!

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: airin and xavier will always be little pieces of me. can't change that since airin was my first oc when i was around 5 years old, and xavier came around in my early middle school years. so in ways, yes! I'm definitely like them since you can't avoid that with ocs so old and important to your childhood, but they're very much their own individuals.

i wasn't tagged by anyone so you should... steal this, just like i did :]

[sttoru]

Girly idk how I wasn't following you still, tumblr isn't stupid, I'm sorry that you are feeling on the outskirts of the fandom as well. You are a wonderful person and writer, and I'm glad you’ve been growing as you have been. You deserve so much more love!! 💕

It does make me feel like there is something wrong with me or like in off putting when i see several big blogs talking to each other, boosting each other. But then I drop in, just say hi to be friendly, only to be ignored. When they are literally responding to various anons or other people.

It seems like they want to talk to everyone else but me. Which has me feeling like I'm in the wrong, I'm bothersome and unwanted in the fandom space. They don't have to talk to me, but my feelings are still gonna be hurt at being shunned by 90% of the blogs I try to interact with.

It does kill my motivation since I don't want to be seen as someone who just posts. I want to be seen as a friend and someone to talk to.

I understand that some people get along better than others. But damn so many people are having this problem it seems like. It's boiling down to popular blogs like other popular blogs, boost other popular blogs and they stay the main people in the fandom eyes whole everyone sits quietly in the side just wanting to be partly including

Feel free to rant right back if need be. Cause I get needing to get this shit off your chest, cause I sure as hell needed to

hiii feyyy !!! dwww, it’s all good :> thank u sm for ur nice words aaaaaaa u r as well, one of the writers on here that i respect 4 their hard work !

gonna vent a bit haha need to get some things off my chest too like u said;

i get ur first point!! it sucks rlly. especially when you are the first one reaching out (which takes a lot of courage, especially for someone socially awkward like me lol) and then it hurts DOUBLE because you get ignored. i get ittttt rlly. for me, i always try to reply ppl even if im a bit late because im either thinking of a proper response or am distracted or busy , but i never intentionally ignore anyone interacting with me. i know some ppl on here do bcs they don’t feel entitled to respond to comments or anons or whatev, which is like ? ok. but if it’s someone just being friendly and complimenting you / your work … it’s not hard to reply w a form of gratitude . some rlly think they’re celebrities on here and it needs to stop

and it’s understandable and totally valid to feel like you’re being shunned and unwanted by people you just want to befriend , only for them to ignore you / not interact with you but with everyone else :/ it sucks and ppl don’t seem to realise that it could hurt other’s feelings. i hope you know that you’re not unwanted tho! those people are just… idk, a bit weird (ofc im only talking abt people who INTENTIONALLY ignore others)

findjng a friend on tumblr with the same interest is like a chore. you either click instantly or you think you do, only for it to be fore 2 interactions max and then you go back to ignoring each other basically on dash

AND YOUR LAST POINTS!! so true. its that the more popular blogs just stick together and help each other out when ??? there are smaller blogs of writers / artists just sittng in the sidelines like ‘ok so what do i have to do to gain traction if the people with a bit of bigger platforms are totally ignoring me & my works’

it’s actually tiring. ofc, me having 3k followers — i am suuuuper grateful, not complaining much, but i also know how it feels. my notifications are super dry except for mainly likes, my dms are like a desert, inbox is 98% only of anons who drop requests and then leave without leaving anything else. no one to talk to, except for people who leave a comment every once in a while :/

like u may think bcs i have decent following i actually gain more interactions? not rlly. only likes & sometimes reblogs w tags. that’s all really, i don’t really have anyone on here who i consider a close online friend (as much as this sounds sad & cringy LMAOO) but its tiring to see everyone be so close to each other on dash while im on the side like ‘how nice it must be to get that much interaction’

& im sure there are people who r gonna say ‘just interact with them’ I DO and i either get left on read or they respond dryly / or i don’t get the same energy back. bcs sometimes im reluctant to reach out first because it always ends up w me taking the initiative & i end up looking desperate to get an interaction with a mutual LOL

anyways thinking abt this tumblr writing community makes my head ache bcs of all the things ive seen and experienced on here (also on my prev account which i had for 2 years)

[early20sfailingplenty]

Hi Erika!!!

I just wanted to say a few things. first of all:

thank you. thank you for being a writer that I look forward to seeing content from, thank you for being so genuine with the audience you've created, thank you for sharing as many thoughts as you may have on your account, thank you for forming a writer safe space for writers of every background and orientation, and thank you for even making this account in the first place. Im not sure if I can fully say you made me start writing again, but I want to. I want to say that because your work is so inspiring and you're such a sweet person who's been willing to learn and adapt to everyone you talk to and meet and you're so incredibly selfless and sweet for that.

Thank you for being a genuine person.

I want you to know I'm forever and always here for you no matter what it is. Even if I'm not online or awake at the time, I'll be there for you when I can and I don't want you to hesitate messaging me at a moments notice.

We love you, Erika. Me and the fellow Erika stans all do!

Hi, Tuna!!!!

Goodness, you sent this in in NOVEMBER😨 I've read this over and over and OVER and I can't thank you enough for such beautiful words omlllll ~

I'm honoured that you enjoy my content; I know I've slipped in not making as much as I used to and I absolutely HATE that I barely have the time to write anymore but I promise I'm still v much present and active in the fandom and I'm gonna set timers and such - anxiety induced productivity is basically the only way I function anyway, with how much I have to do each day.🤣😩

Thank YOU for offering me and others a safe space to go to for content, for kind words, for advice, and for being such a welcoming and sweet person. Your writing is amongst my favourites and I always get excited when I see you've posted something or when I go back and reread your other stuff! I'm glad that I can provide a safe space for anyone on my blog; that's very important to me. I could definitely make more effort in providing for specific genders and backgrounds so if anyone ever wants a fic which isn't gender neutral etc., please please don't be shy in asking!!! I want everyone to be able to find something on my masterlists which they can relate to and find what they're looking for in!🥺💖

Thank you for being so open and honest, Tuna! I appreciate this ask and YOU so much! I just have a whole lot of love for writing and for the Sinclairs (like anyone could ever doubt that bc I say it waaaay too often🤣) and I love chatting to people and learning about them and I'm so happy that it comes through on this blog! Thank YOU for being so genuine and for taking the time to send this to me, I've read it so many times🥺

Thank youuuuu ~ and please know it's the same for you! If you ever wanna vent or ask for a comfort blurb or something like that then please feel free and I'll respond when I'm able to! (Hint: if you say "emergency comfort" in the ask, I'll do it as close to that night as I can!!!!)

Sending much love your way!

[levis-hazelnut]

This is a vent.

You can do what you want with this post but please do read the part from where your name starts in bold and pink.

I have decided it's okay for me to type my thoughts out here In tumblr. Safer than my journal at least lol

So I'm doing okay but I also feel like shit for the past few days lol. To the point where I cried myself to sleep. Ever felt like crying badly but the tears won't come out but you can't even act frustrated? Yeah that too.

I'll be honest. I changed schools so now I have about 3 supportive friends but we haven't interacted much.

My friends from my previous school are really very cool and supportive and it is because of them, I had a thought of exploring me and thinking about my sexuality and everything.

I have a lot of friendship problems. Im kinda losing touch with My friends from the previous school and i saw it coming almost 1 years ago. But I still talk to them bc I like them. I have been betrayed and neglected and taken for granted by loads of people who were my friends. We're still in touch but there is a disconnection.

I really considered them my friends. I trusted them. I was looking for a special bond with them. But it never happened. Half of them betrayed and verbally bullied me. Some of them strayed away. Some were Influenced by other bullies. Some took me for granted.

I'm awkward at voicing out my true feelings. I wanted them to know through my actions how much they meant to me, how I bragged about how nice they were, how I loved it when we went on little adventures and screamed and laughed. But they just had to go away.

My one and only lovely best friend moved away and now we live about 2000 kms apart but we still talk and she supports me (and simple for me lol) and she is kinda like one of the top reasons I'm sane rn. I'm very grateful to have her.She sometimes visits my blog through Google and reads my fics.

I've been having depressive episodes since last year. It's definitely better than last year bc back then, I used to cry in secret like- every single day. Including my birthday. I've actually kinda mastered the art of masking my feelings.

On top of that I have family problems. My dad is not really emotionally present. I hate to say this but my mom kinda victimizes herself. Evertime they have fights, I hear and notice this. It pisses me off but the points they make about themselves make sense. Eventually they make up and they sat down and made me under stand that nothing is gonna happen but it mentally affects me a lot.

Believe me when I say that I love my parents. But I'm growing distant. On top of that there is some toxic advice and they are homophobic oof.

I know there are millions of people with more worse conditions than mine and when I think about this, I get sad and start to invalidate my feelings but with the help of some motivational people, I understand that my problems are valid and I'm allowed to feel sad. At this point I'm like my own supporter. I'm proud of it.

Every time I see jean, I relate to him a lot. Putting a strong front for others but your terrified inside. (Also thighs mm)

So Hazel. Listen to me

When I found out of tumblr and fanfics, I was overjoyed. I spend weeks reading comfort fics by many different authors including yours and it made me feel safe.

I finally decided to make an account and follow people. I mostly interacted with you. There are so many blogs and moots that I follow now, and now I'm not shy or scared to interact with them.

You know why? Because of you.

It is from your blog I first felt like I could feel safe. I never felt weird about going in your inbox more than once. Everytime you responded I felt butterflies. After that when you followed me back, I actually almost cried. Every single time I saw you in my dash, inbox or responding to me, or just interacting with your fellow moots, I felt happy.

And after that I met amber, izzy, and so many cool moots. If we ever met In real love I wouldn't hesitate to give you a big hug and thank you.

Hazel baby when I say I love you, I fucking mean it.

I love you. I love you so much

I love all of my moots, and people who I interact with every day. I found so many supportive people and people from the lgbtq and people who share the same thoughts here.

Thank you for being you.

I hope you never forget how much I admire you. I'm almost tearing up as I write this. All of you guys give me so much motivation to move forward in my life.

himani please the way you had me crying because of this i love you so so so much i cant stress it enough

(imma put a read more cos this got kinda long lol)

im so happy that you found a safe space and you feel comfortable enough to tell me all of this too. you have me on discord as well and i'd always be happy to listen to you if you need to talk or just to simply simp over 2d people lmao

and im so sorry that you've been feeling terrible, it honestly breaks my heart and i wish there was something i could do. i'd hold you and be there to fight everyone for you if i could. if those friends dont keep in touch with you, they'll be missing out and they'd be losing such a precious and amazing person. but once you lose something you always gain something - thats something i've realised so you will find the right people that will stick by you for a very long time ❤❤ i'm so glad you have your best friend there to support you and sticking by you because even when you feel like everything's just going to shit i know they'd be there for you and im happy about that

your feelings are completely valid and im glad you realised that. just know that im always going to be here too to support you and to just be there for you whenever you need it

bye the way you have my heart himani, it makes me so happy that you feel safe here and that you never felt weird about interacting with me. please you give me butterflies all the time, how could i not follow a beautiful person like you. honestly the same goes to you - i love seeing you on my dash and i love seeing you have a great time and interacting with people especially with my moots it makes me so happy i cant describe it 😭

if we ever meet im not letting you leave my side, you're gonna permanently be in my arms

i love you so much more i wish there was a way i could show just how much... im glad you found people you love and those that support you and that give you motivation. and im always going to be here to support you and for anything else you need

thank you for being comfortable enough to talk to me and to share this. you're an amazing person never doubt that 🥺🥰💖

[1eos]

Hi kendra from a capricorn to a virgo do you have any tips on how to stop being the Therapist FriendTM? this shit is tiring 😭 btw love your blog keep being the funniest person on here

i DO have tips 🚶‍♀️ the past few yrs have been me learning how to stop too

-firstly nd maybe most importantly just make everyone respect your time? i used to make myself available for my friends 24/7 nd that was a bad idea bc if i didnt answer a text abt how they were sad instantly they would get mad at me so what i learned to do was tell everyone that i put my phone on do not disturb at a certain time so if i dont respond im getting ready for bed OR if i was busy/not in the right head space i would text back nd tell them i see their messages but im busy so ill get back to u in a second

-stop giving advice all the time. as the mom(tm) friend u want to dive in nd give advice or fix stuff but we gotta stop trying to fix EVERYTHING! what i do is i ask my friends if they just want to vent or if they want advice. nd if i feel like something is way beyond me i say ‘im not comfortable trying to give advice on this may i suggest talking to x,y,z’. i feel like showing ppl that u dont have all the answers would help make them realize youre not a mom or a therapist you're just a FRIEND

-have a threshold of caring. this doesnt happen often but ik everyone has that one friend that complains nd complains nd doesn’t want to get better they just want to complain until someone else fixes their shit. well what i do is after it becomes clear that they don’t want to fix a situation i tell them straight up that im only gonna listen to them drag everyone down w their issues WE’VE ALREADY TALKED ABT 3 more times. i have a close friend nd he hates his job w his dad so much but he’s not even TRYING to look for a new job nd after a yr of complaining there’s nothing i can do but tell him straight up that he’s stagnating nd there’s no more advice or help i can offer. its on him. u dont need to rude abt it ofc just be very honest. tell them u there’s nothing anyone can say/do until THEYRE ready to change. if they get mad at you even if ure nice abt it that’s a sign that theyre not a good friend tbh

-nd lastly. this is something i JUST learned how to be honest enough to do but just tell ur friends how u feel! if u have friends that care abt u they’ll understand when u tell them that ure overwhelmed with your own feelings/life so that u can’t  always be there for every small thing going on in their lives nd that u might answer messages slowly/not be able to hang out to listen to them complain all the time/etc BC u need to worry abt u! nd again there’s a very sincere nd nice way to say this obvs lmao nd if ur friends have an issue w you taking time for yourself then again they aint shit!

-basically try to open up an honest conversation w your friends? i find that the main reason we get stuck as the therapist friend is that we’d rather keep our problems to ourselves nd ppl see that as a sign that we have everything together when we don’t nd then WE feed off of helping others bc it makes us feel accomplished nd wanted when u shouldnt have to bear the burdens of everyone else to be a part of a friendship. relationships should be mutual giving nd taking! learning to be more vulnerable should make others see u as human nd u deserve to be able to ask for help from others :) i hope this helped im on this journey w u too anon pls know ure not alone 💖

[son-of-skarmory]

((Alright, everyone’s been making posts about their mental health right now so I guess it’s my turn. This is just meant to be a general thing-I’m not targeting anyone (none of this is single-instance stuff), and my main goal is just to raise awareness of what it’s like on my end. I’ll go into minor detail about that in a bit.

Basically, I want to make a PSA about IMing me right now.

Details under the cut, and if you read I’d appreciate some notification (like a like or a message, or even an IM saying ‘read your thing’. But as usual, no pressure to do it. Do what you need to do for your mental health, too.

tl;dr is IMs are overwhelming so please don’t overdo them with me. You can send them but please give me time and space.

So, as some of you have heard before, chats and IMs can stress me out to no end. Even texting can do it, and group chats are the bane of my existence. I stress out over missing things, and it can tear my attention away from anything else because I don’t want the other person to be left hanging. So I don’t use tumblr’s chat rooms and I don’t use d.iscord.

‘But Wings!’ You say, potentially frustrated by my hypocrisy. ‘We IM all the time! You send me messages, so am I expected to not send you anything?!’

And, no, please hear me out. I can handle short bursts of messages if we’re in the middle of discussing something like and idea. I can also use chat features if there’s the mutual understanding that there’s zero rush to reply, or sometimes even to respond at all. But I can’t do constant, and I can’t do small talk.

Right now, amidst all this chaos, my mental health is really struggling. A quick summary (that you can skip if you want):

I’m constantly dealing with invasive and paranoid thoughts (the latter especially about Dad). I’m almost always overstimulated, and my brain feels like it’s been wrapped in tulle. I don’t ever feel like I’m not anxious and I’m crying nearly every day, which is scary because for me crying can trigger migraines. 

My dad, who I’m mostly stuck with, is a bigot with severe hearing loss, and even with his hearing aids in it’s too loud for me to be in the same room with him (which is where my computer happens to be). He barely helps me take care of Benny, who currently needs a lot of stimulation that I can’t give him. Dad is also at extremely high risk when it comes to C.OVID-19 (and please don’t make and comments or jokes about it maybe being a good thing if he dies).

Work is a complete mystery. If we can even run Summer Camps this year, we don’t have the same budget as most years since we had no Spring Break Camps, field trip groups, or Spring after school camps. So if we run camps in person, I have to change up my projects bc we’ll have a limited budget for special materials outside what the center already has. There’s also a possibility we’ll do Zoom classes from our houses, in which case I have to set up space, limit my materials even more (since we’ll be sending out a materials list for parents to buy, and they probably won’t want to purchase plaster or block printing ink), potentially even dropping some classes. And also I’ll have to look at my hideous body on camera since I have to make sure the kids can see what I’m doing (meaning I might need an overhead camera?). My retail job is...I have no idea.

Plus, as of May 1st I have no insurance, I have to find a new therapist and psychiatrist, and one of my meds costs over $250. And bonus if I do end up getting that tonsillectomy that was supposed to happen while I was on my parents’ insurance.

Between no work right now and whatever happens with Summer Camps, it’s gonna be a heavy blow to my finances. And since I’m trying to file for state insurance, I had to get kicked out of my savings accounts. I can ask Mom to send me some money from them if need be, but just the whole concept of having almost no access to that money in an emergency is terrifying, especially since I pay for Benny’s food and vet bills. I know that this one makes me sound like the entitled white girl I am but I’m scared, okay?

So...yeah. Everything is a bit much right now, but I really want to be here. I just want to lay down a few guidelines:

Please do not IM me just because I’m on. This is honestly one of the worst things. Sometimes it makes me avoid that account for the rest of the day.

Please do not expect me to hold small talk via IMs. You’re free to come to me with more focused topics, but don’t IM me for the sake of IMing me.

Understand that I might be very slow to reply, and in some cases I might not reply at all because I’m stressed by life stuff or have nothing to offer. If I don’t reply, it’s not because I’m ignoring you or don’t like you. I just need some time or space or both.

I’m not trying to say you can’t IM me. In fact, getting IMs can be a positive thing, because then I feel like I’m being thought about and am actually important to people (which is something I’m trying to deal with, I promise). Someone checking in can very super uplifting. I love talking about characters interacting. But just understand that chats and IMs and DMs can be very hard for me.

...Yeah. I’ll try to spread this around to the other blogs over some time. I’m sorry this kinda turned into a vent session, but I appreciate you taking the time to read it. Please make sure you’re taking care of yourself as well, and please know I love you very much <3 ))

[unsenttextsuggestion]

not a text but im looking at reblogs of some of my submissions and like. someone responded to one abt feeling bad being told "no" and wondering if i should stop asking. and like their response was that ppl shouldnt apologize for boundaries and their tag said that the post read as "woe is me bullshit" like holy fuck dude why do you think i said it here instead of telling the person directly? i dont want them to feel guilty for saying "no" but that isnt gonna stop me from just. being sad about it. i had just asked them if we could call,, okay sorry if this is like. rude i just felt like i had to acknowledge it - rc

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ i'll use this opportunity as a general note to say that viewers of this blog should be careful when responding to posts. it's meant to be something of a safe venting space, so just be mindful please :0 mod mercy