#im not really barking so ill go ahead and actually bark

[the-creature230307]

[aonungyou-shit]

Ma Rotxo [Part 2]

DNI/BYF

Ma Rotxo Masterlist

Pairing: Roxto x Lo'ak Twin Sister! Reader

Synopsis: You are running a little sick. But all that gets overshadowed when you talk about feelings.

( So sorry for the Delay! )

You Had gone closer to the tree’s today. Truthfully you had been so bored of being near the water. Also you were running really cold today so you figured it would be okay to skip today's lessons. And you Let Tsireya know. 

You were covering yourself in the shawl that your grandmother had weaved for you when you were but a little younger. And in this moment it made you feel safe and warm. 

“Y/N?” 

You jolted! Turning around to see Rotxo who had a basket on his head and one at his side. 

“My bad i didnt mean to startle you!” 

“Rotxo? Oh do you need help with one of those?” 

Rotxo smiled. Letting out a small huff before nodding. “Yes please” 

Smiling you took the basket on his head and looked inside. Small Rocks, Tree Roots and some bark was there. “What are you collecting?” 

“Some Herbs for some quick medicine. Roots and Rocks to mix em and all. I also have to gather some fruit farther into the trees” 

“Want me to help with that? Im Good with Tree’s” 

He let out a shy smile towards you looking at his empty basket before nodding. “Yes please” 

“Let’s go then!” 

Silently you two walked. Before it was you who made conversation 

“How are your sisters” 

“Well. They actually really want to meet tuk soon” 

“That’s great! Tuk need a new bundle of friends to play with!” You spoke excited as you let him lead you away. 

“They seem to really like you too. Constantly asking me if you’d come over after lessons” 

You laughed a little before looking at him “what, you never brought a girl to your house?” 

You watched as he turned into himself. His shy demeanor didn't go unnoticed by you. “No… not really” 

“Oh! Sorry. I figured you may have” 

“Why?” 

“Well why not? Your very kind. Gentle on the eyes. And i think of you as a very mighty man” 

Rotxo rose a brow at this. Never had someone thought of him as such. “Really?” 

“Yes. Its a real shame if no one’s looked at you that way” 

Rotxo paused now watching as you got ahead of him before he asks “why?” 

“What do you mean why?” 

“I mean im sure someone as you had many mighty warriors seeking to court you, What makes me .. special?” 

You stopped. Now turning to look at him. 

“Yeah i had a few suitors. All of which were mighty warriors. Always hunting, always helping take out the sky people. But they aren’t my type at all” 

“Really? What is your type?” 

You purse your lips together. Bitting the inner cheek before turning to look at him head on “you” 

Eywa, you swore it may have been the cold or how loopy your mind felt. But you also weren’t a coward. You faced far scarier creatures, you’ve taken out the demons before and yet admitting to liking a boy was terrifying. 

“Me?” 

“Sure! You’re not only kind but you don’t Have an ego as most of them did. You’re very sweet and i saw the way you looked after your sisters. You’re an ideal man in my book” 

Rotxo had a sudden rush of excitement run up his spine. As he came up next to you looking at you eye to eye. “So im really worth looking at?” 

“Of course you are. You are strong, yes. You're Wonderful. I dont mind that you dont go out to hunt. But i find it so charming that you take care of your family when needed” You said smiling , stopping in front of a tree that he had guided you too. 

“I think i should like you too meet my family”  Rotxo asked. 

You are smiling. The dull ache of your head was still there but it subsided and it left you at ease while you were talking to him. 

“So you want me to get that fruit?” 

“Yes please!”

“Wait down here and stick the basket up. Ill bring down many” You said gripping down on the tree. Its unfamiliar bark prickling at your hands as you kept climbing up and on. 

You noticed that it wasn’t at its ripe stage. Its color is a clear indicator. No doubt this being the only fruit that was safe enough for a metkayina to reach. 

You decided to head up to the sky where the air was clear and you could see as far as your eyes could reach. You missed feeling the wind this high. But you wasted no time throwing fruit down as much as you could before taking some down with your tail and your available hand. 

Roxto looked at the basket as you dropped it. Questioning if you in fact came back with the right thing. But offering your already bitten fruit he had no doubt. It was sweet with a savory taste. 

It was good, Eywa how thankful was he for you

“Come Let us deliver this to your family! Id be happy to see it to meet your family” You said, taking the basket you had previously in your hands. Waited for him to lead you to his home.

======================

Taglist: 32/34

@azaleaniath / @alana69s

Perma Taglist: 13/15

@fanboyluvr / @oasis-balli

[penguin--person]

silly question but: does wolf alík look any different from a regular wolf? when she's fully transformed, is there anything that sets her apart, or does she just look like an average, straight up wolf?

ty for asking this actually!!! i think about this a bunch, like, what human traits alík keeps, if she can bark/howl, if a pack of wolves would accept her, etc !!! ill talk about this under cut bc its like . idk? im not sure if this is body horror ? like its not just her being a wolf , its her being a messed up wolf .. uncanny wolf up ahead!! + some blood but not that much.. also warning ur getting a much longer answer than you were probs asking for lol

so i made a little image getting into details about her mutation just now, But i do first want to show off this art that my friend blazy (@/mothssmeat - go check his art out its super swag!!!) made of her for artfight last year !! He Gets Her he gets her wolfness he gets it

check out the speedpaint !! blazy's sooo niceys for drawing such an awesome alík art ... its So good . do you see how her nose is turning into one of a wolf? but so painfully ?? so slowly that its just !! how shes tearing up, blood around her ?? god . like God. oh my goddd . and her fur !! how its growing in patches around her body, starting like wild from her head, her eyebrows combined, just like !! its growing around like mold and i find that really cool .. hehe sorry just had to fangirl about this art ofher . i dont get the chance oftne . anyway. in a more professional manner: god sorry i cant yet . oh my fucking goddd . oh my GOD !!!! just look at that . what is that thing!!! dear god!!! ok. im normal now (lying ).

look at her hands and feet. human joints should not be like that, and wolf paws do not look like that. her claws.. god just look at them. blazys art explains alíks messed up wolf situation far better than i ever could. her ears, too, are just... god, look at them!! i have to move on from this art or ill just keep saying "look at it!!" but, well. Look at it.

some of my own alík wolf art:) the first one is when shes fully transformed, but also the first ever art i did of her like that, so take it with a grain of salt, but still take it. the second is her like... in her metamorphisis era - my internet connection is kinda MEAN and EVIL right now so i can't add them rn .. ill either rb with them later or edit them into the post. for now i just put links to the images :( sorry! plus the mentioned image from before. now Onto serious business

something that alík always has, no matter form, is her human eyes - but they're not really human! their colouration is one of a wolf's, and her eyesight is also almost as good as that of one. this is messed up when she's in full wolf mode, because its really.. just, weird. can you imagine looking at a dog with human eyes? a cat? a cow? no!! because its weird!!!! shes a FREAK!! (affectionate)

another weirdo thing about her face is her teeth. hes got canine teeth, no doubt about it, but i do think she has a bit more teeth than she should have.. maybe three more... ? two more? i think the amount of teeth is not equivalent with neither the amount humans should have nor the amount wolves should have.. like 38 or smth. this doesn't change in her transformation, but her jaw and gums do! it hurts! Ouchies! it also shifts her teeth around.. tbh i wouldnt be surprised if she lost a tooth or two transforming sometime.

as you may have noticed, alík has most of her fur on her head! this is because of hair! she has a big ol' tuft of fur on her head when she's in wolf mode and it makes her look silly. depending on how far along in transition they are, their fur is like... its in blotches over their body. a tuft here, a tuft there, no fur at all someplace else... her spine gets covered in fur first. bc its like !! hair to tail:)

her limbs are weird, too. her arms are more humanoid than her legs - my friend mikey @/monstertsunami shows this wonderfully in his art of alík and their gf idk who she is i heard shes some kind of loser? ermmm what the freak🔥

oh wow it let me add an image that time Awesome!!! anyway, you can see how her feet are pretty pawsome, huh?? shes got pawpads - is that what its called for wolves? i cant find info :( - and her joints are more.. like, look at how she's standing! her ankles! everybody say thank you mikey... !!! this stays in her wolf form, in a way

in the 'mentioned image' from before, you can see - ifyou can read my handwriting lol - that there's text around her feet/paws (peets...) that says 'human hands - fucked up paws'. in the linked image 'first one' , you can see her fucked up wolf hands more clearly! thats something that ive kept. i think she could grab you, even as a wolf. she keeps her thumbs. even if they dont work as well. this makes running as a wolf difficult for her, because her fingers are very much in the way !! herr back feet are more wolf-like in her wolf mode, even twisting her hips to work better !! opposite goes for her hands, though - her arms, like.. theyre not good for wolves ! her elbow is forced into a shitty position, her shoulders are.. bad...

and, as mentioned, her nose is fucked up. the smell of blood is an intimate friend of hers 💥it like.. god, her face goes through So Much. her skull gets absolutely , like ... goddd shes definetely broken bones transforming before... her nose is like, stretched out ? idk how to explain it .. its like if you used the 'free transform' tool on it

in short, id say theres a few main things that set alík apart from a regular wolf:

human eyes

human hands (sometimes covered in fur)

teeth

body isn't always fully covered in fur (its not easy for his body to bust out ten thousand fur strands all over his body, ya know? needs resources for that to happen)

movement (can't run as well, vocal cords arent probs in the best state after her neck fucking... look at it)

smell. she smells weird. oyou dont care about that but wolves would i think

then there's like, little basic anatomy stuff, like she will Never have the proper body of a wolf . maybe if she was like, for a year as a wolf, or two, or maybe even fine her body would be like Ok were wolf now . and her bones would settle ... but this is a question of years and time she does not have. her lifespan is also all kinds of fucked up. if she wasnt being experimented on evey day of her life ever, she'd probs live until her 40s? maybe late 40s if she had a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE filled with JOY and WHIMSY!!!! but i think now she'll die like, in her pafl au, i dont think she'll make it to 35.. sad! ouppy gone

also im working on an alík thing .. + the other two .. but also alík

CANINE GIRL coming to YOUR THEATRES in SOON!!!! hehe... im not making a song thats like too much for me. i can only make music that soundgs good to me idk how to make music that others would find tolerable .. my blessing .. teehee .. ill make alík like, a page, like the tptm girls have .. nina and nastya too:) nastyas mockup page is done.. but im not showing!!! you get a sneakpeak of the text tho . ty for the ask ❤️im surprised its letting me add images now . wifis been weird all day .. u also get to see a wip of her display sona

idk what her name would be . superlative girl ? unrivalled ? irrelevant ? victorious ? precious ? vote in the comments down below!!!Ninas will be some shit like. unknown girl. apathy girl. etc ... i havent gotten to alíks display sona yet but you KNOW shes ouppy!!!!

okieee‼️‼️‼️thats it . hope ur ok with me sharing the tptm stuff .... ❤️❤️💥💥💥ty again for the ask !!!

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Sweets sweets sweets

Pt 2

Sugar Daddy Tendou

Wanna see more of this? Let me know!

@squeaky-ducky @knifeewifee @kingtamakimurder @thesimpsclub @galagcica

Nsfw-ish

“Three...three hundred…….” The money crinkled in your hands. You had never gotten such an insane tip before.. who was this guy?!? And who was that tall man with him? Quickly you shoved the cash into your apron along with the note . As soon as you did your boss came over to rush you to more tables.

“Y/n back to work!! Wheres the payment?”

“Here sir!!” You handed him the black book to watch him open it.

“No tip?” He pointed to the X .

“Oh uh!!! , he left me a candy so that counts right?” The little green wrapper shined between your fingers.

“Even better! More money for us.” He took his leave and you took the note out again reading it over and over.

“Shop.. chocolate shop im guessing..” you unwrapped the candy to see ‘sweets sweets sweets’ on the inside. “The.. shop i pass? The one that smells so good?!?”

It was a heart candy with very detailed designs sketched into it. You took a bite feeling your eyes roll into your head. It had melted fudge inside that made your heart stir all around. ..

Tendou was back in his usual spot making chocolate with a lazy happy smile on his face. The chocolate was falling off his spon every time he lifted it up . “Aah…” he pulled his chair over to sit and admire his shop.

“I hope she comes by, maybe Ushi Kun will want to go again tomorrow if she does not.” He leaned on his table with his arms extended out , his happy grin flatlining . “Should i go home tonight?” He pouted at the thought.

The bell on his door dinged alerting him to a customer. Tendo pulled himself up to see you clutching the note to your chest, you still had on your uniform and apron.

“Uh? I hope this is the right place.. “

“Y/n chan..” Tendo circled the table pulling his chef hat off . “You came..”

You jumped seeing him and quickly pulled the money from your apron. “I… Sir i cant accept…”

He looked down at the money as if it was foreign to him. His cat like eyes drooping and his smile coming back. “Y/N chan.. that is for you.”

“But Sir i…” he pressed a finger to your lips .

“Y/n chan. Seeing you run around like that today, no break, no water. Your boss barking at you. Is that everyday? Dont your feet hurt?”

He tasted like sweet chocolate , a very sweet chocolate with a hint of mint. His words sounded genuine too, sure your feet ached everyday but.. but.. but what…?

You lightly sucked on the tip of his finger as you talked. “They.. they do.. its been long shifts..”

“Ahh y/n chan. There's more where that came from. Im a lonely man i dont even go home some nights. All i want is some love, and someone to spend my money on.”

Were you really going to accept his offer? You would never have to work again.. “ what.. will i do then?” His finger hit your tongue and he had wrapped an arm around you.

“Whatever you want y/n chan. Want to sleep in? I've got the biggest, warmest bed. See something you want? Come here, I'll give you the cash.”

“I wanna.. spend the day with you..” lightly you gripped his wrist to kiss his knuckles after moving his hand away. “You deserve to sleep in a bed Sir..”

Tendou purred, picking you up and taking you to his table to lay you on it. “If your there y/n chan. Ill take that offer.”

You pulled his face down to kiss him and wrap a leg around him. Tendo was in such bliss, finally, someone to love and spend his money on . He could not wait to tell Ushi Kun.

Tendou was kissing down your neck and you were working on getting your apron off, fussing with the tie just for Tendo to stop you with a happy face. “Leave the apron on, its kinda my thing.”

*

Tendou had your clothes off you in a matter of minutes. He even put the apron back on you , it was bouncing along with your tits with each thrust. Tendou filled you up perfectly, you were soaking his table but he did not mind. You had chocolate drizzled on your face too which Tendo kissed and licked off of you.

Told you it was a special recipe he wanted to test out before he makes it into chocolate. You said he was silly for such a thing and he just pressed your knees to your chest fucking you harder.

“Sir!!! Wanna.. cum.. please..”

He kissed your cheek and pulled your apron off your chest. “Y/n chan. No need to ask me. Go ahead. “ he kissed all over squeezing each one feeling you tighten around him .

“ wanna .. scream your name Sir.. “ you pulled his face to you whining for his approval.

Tendou kissed your lips pushing all the way in you letting his release take over him. He purred his name into your ear, you cried it out finally cumming around his cock, Tendou looked up at the ceiling blinking slowly. “Im so happy... “ he told himself.

*

Tendou had brought you to his home, cleaned you up and dressed you in expensive silky pajamas before helping you into his bed. He kissed your head watching those pretty eyes flutter shut . A hefty stack of cash and some chocolates was set on his desk next to you once you drifted off. He was happy, content, and blissed. Maybe tomorrow he would actually call an employee in and take the day off.

[nokiawrites]

ʙᴜɴɴʏ ʙᴜɴᴄʜᴇꜱ(ɪᴢᴜᴋᴜ x reader)

(Boss-Intern/Hybrid AU)

Warnings: Smut, Cat Hybrid!Female!Reader, Bunny Hybrid!Izuku, (Everyone is pretty much hybrids) Im also rlly bad at warnings

Part2

Summary: Your new bunny Intern with the silvery voice has caught your attention once again, but who knows if this time you can get to him first.

    The quick pitter patter of my feet as I walk through the parking lot to the elevator are drowned out by my thoughts.  

         My every waking thoughts constantly running rampant of that that green haired ball of energy. So sickeningly sweet yet enticing. Our newest Intern, Izuku Midoriya. The bunny hybrid who held the whole world in their eyes. Just the same as the last time you saw him.

 You slowly enter the elevator and press the button for your floor number, tail swaying from side to side slowly. Standing there idly humming to yourself as the lift slowly rose to your floor. ‘PING’ the loud sound of the lift arriving snaps you out of your daze. The doors slowly open and you step out and begin making your way to your office. 

Besides the soft hums of conversations and typing it is rather peaceful in the cubicles. “Hey (y/n)!”. Well shit. You turn to where the voice came from and lo and behold the man whose been on your mind, standing there in all his glory. He smiles brightly at you, ears on the top of his head at full height. You look at him blank faced. 

“Please stop calling me by my first name during work hours, people will think we are friends.” You spit at him in a hushed tone. You turn away and begin walking away. He follows behind you closely, he begins giggles. “I mean of course were friends dummy.” He says to you in full confidence. “Well im sorry to burst your fucking bubble, were far from friends, you work for me and thats all.” 

You make it to your office and kicking your heels off. His ears drooped some. “Well its ok (l/n), No need to be a bitch about it.” He huffs at you also walking into your office closing the door and plopping down on the sofa. “Me?! A Bitch?!” Your head does a perfect 180 and you scowl at him.“Yea, you.” He plops a gummy bear into his mouth. “Where the hell did you get gummy bears from?! You know what, doesnt matter, stop eating in my office. I have work to do.” 

You shuffle over to your desk  and plop down in your seat, pulling out your papers and beginning to work. Your ears sit upright. You can hear loud Chewing. Ignoring it was not even an option. You can hear it over your on thoughts at this point. You look up with a huff and there izuku is. “You chewing to loud dipshit.” For a bunny hybrid he is loud as hell. 

Your becoming irritated. A knock on your door turns your attention away from the green haired male laying on your sofa. “Come in” you mumble. Your assistant Tsuyu walks in. “ Ms(l/n), Mr Todoroki wants to know if your meet for later today is still on?” She shuffles through papers in her hands. You take a minute to think, ‘do I really want to have to deal with Enji’s shit today? nah’. “ Tell him i would like to reschedule for next week, and Tsuyu, take a rest of the day off I got it today.” She nods her head and walks out quietly shutting the door behind her.

A couple of minutes goes past uneventfully. “You know you cant always be mad at me.” The human bunny hybrid speaks. You chuckle at him “Thats a good one.” You continue doing what you were doing. Izuku sits up from his lying down position. “Im serious, listen we both made mistakes. So we have to let go to help ourselves grow as people.” You sit your pen down and you look at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? We both made mistakes? You fucking cheated on me, and WE made mistakes? You must be out of your rabbit ass mind!”

 You jolt upwards, now standing making your way around the desk to the sofa. “Hey I said sorry, okay.” He says as you stalk closer to him. “ Do you think sorry is going to fix the fucking pain i felt?” Your ears are completely pined against your head as you his at him. “well what do want me to do?” You take the tights off of your legs and ball it up, throwing it. You begin to slide you panties off. griping them in your hand tightly. “If your really fucking sorry you’ll make mommy feel good.” Izuku turned pink. 

“You know I cant do that, you know im dating Ochaco.” You shake your head. “Do you really think I give a fuck about that home wrecking bitch, do what your told unless you want you darling little Ochaco to know that her boyfriends boss is his ex girlfriend and that you dick still gets hard to the thought of my cunt on your face?” He freezes. “Your probably fucking hard right now aren’t you. You sick fucking shit. Getting off of calling me mommy” Before he can react you stuff your underwear in his mouth. “go ahead, can you taste mommy on it?” He says something unintelligible and nods. 

“Good because that is the last time you will ever fucking taste it.” He reaches to take the panties out of his mouth. You slap him with force before he can. You can tell he’s gonna bruise later. His phone rings. its Ochaco. He looks up at your form questioningly. You nod. “Pick it up” He does just that. As he talks you begin to unzip his pant. His breath hitches. keep talking, you mouth to him. You pull out his hard length. He twitches in your hand. gracious amounts of precum falls onto your hand. His tip red with a purple hue. You flatten you tongue and run it from base to tip and stopping to suck on his mushroomed head. 

He chokes on his spit “uh yeah im fine Ochaco I just choked on my spit, but i have to go, yeah ill t-talk to you later bye.” He rushed to hang up his phone up. You stood back up, taking in the view of him. He looked so perverted with his dick out leaking and pulsing. But he looked so innocent with his flustered face. You wanted to corrupt him. He reaches out and cups your naked core. Massaging your folds. You lean into him, beginning to straddle him. He rubs his fingers against your wet entrance, slightly teasing you. He pushes his two fingers into you breaching your warm walls. You reach both of your hands around to his back. Your hand grabs his shoulder. The other one slowly going down his back. You grip his tail. 

“(y-y/n) you know my tail is sensitive.” He removes his fingers from you and grips your hips with both hands. You smirk against his neck. “I know.” You snatch his cotton ball of a tail with your hand. His hips thrust up into yours. His dick ruts against your wet core. The humping motion causing his dick to stimulate your clit. Your feeling hot, you can feel your heart beat in your pussy. “Come on baby, fuck mommys tight pussy. You have my permission. He whines out starting to rut harder against you. You lift yourself lining izuku’s meat rod to your dripping core. You begin to slowly go down, Not used to the feeling of him inside of you yet. Izuku grabs you hips and slams you down onto him before you could intervene. 

Izuku begins to get into position, he braces his feet on the floor and grips you with both arms, beginning to thrust up into you. You can barley keep your eyes open. His curved dick keeps beating at your walls. You reach down to you clit and begin to rub it trying to satisfy that building pressure in your abdomen. You gush out on him, he humps you through it all. You push off of him with a huff. “Mommy?” He whines out at the loss of your heated walls. walking over to your desk you sit on the edge and spread you legs giving him a good view of your box. “Come on baby, come get what you want.” He practically jumps out of his seat and rushes to you, lining back up with you and pushing straight back into your depths. you wrap your legs around him. He starts fucking into you like he was out for revenge. 

You throw your head back moaning out as his tip hits your g spot. Your tail raps around his leg. “Say you love me more than Ochaco.” You breath out. No answer. He keeps fucking into with the speed of a jack rabbit. You santch his hair pulling his head back. He moans out as he gets closer. You grab his face between your fingers and pushing your foot into his hips causing him to stop thrusting. "Tell me you love me more than her, fucking say it. your tail begins flicking the more agitated you get. Looking at you doe eyed he stumbles over his words "You know i cant say that, i love both you and Ochaco the same." You scoff looking away in disgust. "If that was fucking true you wouldnt be balls deep in me while your girlfriend is at home waiting for you." 

You look back at him in disgust for the second time today. Pushing him off of you. Causing his dick to fall out with a wet sound. He whimpered at the loss of your heat. "kneel" you bark at him. Ears pined to the top of your head. Midoriya drops to his knees his ears lifeless against his head. "Know show mommy that your sorry for being a shitty boyfriend who cant even keep his dick in his fucking pants." "m'sorry" he mumbled. 

" Stop being a little fucking bitch and actually apologize!!" You yell at him. He just stares up at you. Hissing you hop off of the desk pulling your skirt down and snatching him up by the collar of his shirt, " If you dont want to be here get the fuck out, go the fuck home. Why are you still here if your in love with her?" You begin to push im towards your office door, eyes filling with tears.  “ill have you transferred to another buliding." You begin putting yourself back together and getting dressed. "N-no, im sorry." He squeaks out after almost a eternity of silence. You wipe the tears out of your eyes, putting a stern face on. 

“well i have no other choice, your fired.”

[a4b2b0y69]

Is it fair for a girl to go for the balls in a fight with a guy? Have you ever kicked a guy there?

yeah actually now that you mention it, i have. i was going out for a smoothie one day, and decided to cut through the park. i got this uneasy feeling about 3 minutes in, only to find i was being shadowed by a mime. at first, i was like whatever, he probably is just practicing, no big deal. get to the smoothie stand, he’s still there. okay. he’s just committed i guess? so i go ahead and order like normal. he’s still there. so i decide that ill just take the long way home. tire him out, maybe then i can shake him off. i was wrong. it’s not working. suddenly, i feel my blood pressure rising. my ears beating. my Pineapple Paradise smoothie melting in the hot april sun. i walk faster. beads of sweat touch my brow, i squint a little harder, glance back, he’s still. there. now im out of smoothie. my mouth is dry. the sun is so bright. i can’t do it. i can’t do it. right then, i stop. all i see now is light. all i feel, is flesh. my foot comes down on his ballsack, i hear a yelp. fists sink into his body like memory foam. like it was made for me to pummel. “who’s the big dog now?” i bark, before sending one last kick into his crisp black slacks. the beret that once was so delicately balanced on his head is now on the floor, a trophy just for me. i put it on and go back home. to this day, i like to wear it whenever i feel a bit insecure. it really reminds me just how strong i am!

[marveling-chrisevans]

What If - Walk of shame

What If - Walk of Shame 

Chris Evans x OFC

Chapter six - 1932 words

Part One | Part Two | Part three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six 

Warnings: uh swearing maybe? 

Summary: What if. What if you out of the blue and on an impulse applied for a contest, and what if you won that. What if you met someone who didn’t know you existed, and what if you asked them for a drink after.  What if this impulse changed your entire life.  ** note I didn’t win so I don’t know how all this would go down but this would be how I would have loved it to happen.. the first chapter completely happened.. the texts might not be the same. But it happened**  

 Tag List: @smoothdogsgirl​ @torntaltos​ @patzammit​ – If you wanna be tagged just make a comment below and I am happy to do that or just DM me, whichever

This story is fully caught up and posted on AO3 and Wat pad. I am going to be combining chapters to catch Tumblr up. but if you would like to read everything right now then go ahead. Also please 

https://www.wattpad.com/story/184900452-what-if

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18506152/chapters/43856086

Faith woke up in a daze, she was laying on her side as she slowly opened her eyes to the sun streaming into the room. She saw the view of Hollywood from the hills, She was confused at where she was. The last thing that she remembers was that she was in a car on the way back to the hotel, then everything went kinda blurry. She looked around the room, and smelled food. She was extremely hung over and wanted some food.

She got up and wrapped the sheet around herself cause she didn’t have any clothes, and couldn’t find her dress, that she wore last night. She got up, walked toward the door that was closed and then walked out into the open lay out of the room. You could see the living room to the kitchen, seeing Chris was standing behind the island of the kitchen talking to what looked like his sister and his mother. She quickly backtracked into the room.

She didn’t escape unseen. Dodger jumped up and barked slightly as soon as she disappeared behind the door. She pushed it closed but didn’t get it all the way there as dodger pushed it all the way open. Faith Grabbed her phone and escaped onto the on suite bathroom and found her way into the tub..

Faith looked at her for the first time in most likely 12 hours, and saw that she had like 9 missed calls and texts from rose, and one from her brother. She slide into the tub as dodger jumped up to join her in there and started licking her face which made her laugh “hi puppy, can you stop?” She wondered as she called rose..

Rose answered the phone “Well fuck thank god your not dead, where the hell are you! Ive been worried sick!”

Faith laughed slightly “currently in a bathtub, with a dog, dodger actually in Chris’s Bathroom.. uh naked.. we had sex last night. Apprently, I mean I remember most of the night but then it gets fuzzy..”

Rose gasped on the other end of the phone “how was it, I want to know everything don’t leave out a single thing, oh my god.. I knew it.. MY SHIP IS ALIVE”

Faith pulled the phone from her head “hungover” she angry whispered in the phone “and I don’t remember much of it. Like I said fuzzy, but I can tell you it was the best sex I’ve ever had.. Oh god I hope he used a condom” she said back into the phone

“i did” Chris replied with a smile on his face. Faith looked up to where the voice came from “it was really good for me too”

“i gotta go rose I uh, gotta go uh ill be back in a little bit” Faith said and hung up the phone sliding further into the bathtub to hid which made dodger thing that it was okay to start kiss attacking her again.

“Dodger out” Chris said as dodger then stopped and put his head on the side of the tub looking at the owner “Glad to see you are awake.. I put your clothes on the bed, I washed them this morning. Also there is some coffee in there, I have to go do something with the avengers. I also put my number in your phone. Take as much time as you need, shower do whatever my family just left to go to the beach so you are the only one here” he replied to her

“and where is here so I can uh summon an taxi” She asked looking up at him trying not to make this all awkward more than it already was. Because its be honest it was really awkward for her “also just so you know I didn’t mean for this to happen.. I got way to drunk and I don’t do this, and oh my god did I say, ‘im feeling it now mr. Krabs?” She wondered looking at him

He nodded and laughed slightly “you did and Faith its alright, you are an amazing girl, and like I said last night id love to get to know you more.” He said “i gotta go but can I see you before you leave tomorrow?”

Faith answered her phone as it rang “yes this is Faith Young, Wait what? Are you serious yeah I can be there for an interview tomorrow morning” She smiled “yeah also that would be cool have always wanted to attend one, yeah two tickets. Thanks” she said back to the person and then looked at him and bite her lip as she pulled herself out of the tub making sure the towel was wrapped around herself “uh I guess not, I have an interview tomorrow, for my dream job non the less. So uh maybe? If its later today” you replied “but maybe not? I don’t know” She smiled “maybe we will just have to leave at it as what it is. A winners trip to Meet Chris Evans at the Premier of EndGame” Faith said back to him as he nodded

“I hope that isn’t the case, I have a feeling we will run into each other again” Chris replied as he walked over to her and kissed her one last time before he left the house

Faith closed her eyes when Chris kissed her and wished It would have lasted a little longer. The linger feeling of his pillow soft lips against hers. She stood there a while longer with her eyes closed wishing he never left. She heard the door close and dodger come back in and looked at her.

Faith got up from hiding in the tub, and went out and found her dress. Like he said it was laying on the bed. She wasn’t about wearing that home for the walk of shame. She went and showered in his shower, then raided his dresser and found a basic t shirt and just some smaller looking sized sweatpants.

She then called herself an Lyft. Headed back to the hotel she couldn’t believe that she just slept with her celebrity crush. The one guy who would have been on her exception list when she got married. She took a deep breath as she waited on the street for her ride. She had managed to get out of the house without running into his family. She thanked whoever was listening for that.

On the drive back to the hotel she made basic small talk talk with the driver. Once getting to the hotel she thanked the man and Gave him a cash tip as she had some from the night before, knowing that these drives prefer that over the tip in the app so they can use it right way.

Riding the elevator and going into the room felt so basic compared to her last 12 hours. She came in the room and flopped down on the bed next to Rose.

Rose sat up from where she was on her phone in her bed and looked at Faith “So are you going to spill the tea or are you just going to walk of shame?” She wondered looking at her friend “also are you in Chris’s clothes, because we could get serious money off of those

“Rose I swear if you keep yelling or talking loud or whatever I am going to punch you in the face. Also its not a walk of shame if you're not ashamed it happened?” She questioned back before she kept talking “Also we are not going home tonight, You know that job I told you applied for about a month ago for my jobs tv program, to be a project manager, well apparently I got accepted and They want me to go there for the keynote program tomorrow to show me off or something, give a presentation. I am not sure as I stopped listening when I heard I got the job.” she said back to her with putting her face into the bed sighing heavily ignoring the last comment about eBay comment.

“it can still be a walk of shame..” Rose countered back

Faith got up and walked over to her suitcase shaking her head, “remind me when we finally get home to look at my Lyft pick up history to send these back” She said to rose knowing she wouldn’t remember because she was going go from one project to another and just throw everything in the laundry

Rose smirked “ not gonna do that, but before we hop on another plane I do wanna go to this event at the Chinese theater I heard about, also the walk of fame is over there.” Rose replied knowing what she was asking and what was going on. Faith listened to her talk as she flung on some leggings and a flowing crop top that just showed a little of the top of her midriff. Running a brush through her hair. “okay fine let me take something for this headache and along s we stop at a coffee place I don’t care” Faith replied fixing her make up touching it up and throwing on a pair of sunglasses grabbing her bag “lets go”

The two walked out of the hotel stopping at the first coffee shop for Faith, then finished there walk to the walk of fame. Looking at the stars, stopping for the ones they loved posing and stopping at a few stars as they go. They were across the street from the Chinese theater as faith looked at it confused “what did you say was going on here?” Staring at the arch with the original six in it “Rose if this is an avengers event I don’t wanna be here, I embarrassed myself and then slept with one of the stars.. uh no”

The announcer started to announce the actors as they came out one by one and the producers. Faith of course started to try and hide behind the Camera people and taking a few steps back to be more blended into the crowd

Rose smirked “oh its not like he is going to see you standing in the crowd” she replied back as She went back to cheering as they came out. Faith kinda just tired to blend in and not bring attention to herself. Making sure her sunglasses were firmly in place. Faith hid the best she could till he looked out in the crowd. Even tho the both of them were wearing sunglasses, your eyes connected. You quickly turned your head to look at something else. She could feel his eyes linger at her.

Chris lingered his eye on her, it was the same girl he was with last night. He knew that hair and those lips anywhere. He felt it in his soul. Someone said his name which caught his attempting which made him loose her in the crowd. That could have been because she quickly went and hid behind the building.

Faith took a deep breath as it felt like her heart was in her throat she didn’t know what to do. She went and sat down on the bench that was near by and texted rose her location, and waited for her to come to her. After the ceremony, Rose Found faith and they did the rest of the things tourists do when they are in LA, before going back to the hotel getting their stuff and flying on the plane to the next location in California, this time for Faiths job.

[simplykpopaus]

Boyfriend!Kino

Requested: Yes! (may I request a boyfriend au with Kino?)

A/N: Okay so Kino is my bias. So I might have had a little fun with this. Thank you for requesting this! I hope you like it! -Lushie

How'd you meet 

let’s be real here

you met at a park 

you were there walking your dog 

with your brother and sister 

he was walking around 

with Yuto that night 

your sister needed to go to the bathroom 

you made sure your brother waited outside the bathroom doors

in case he needed to yell out for you

you could be there quickly 

you were helping your sister wash her hands 

when you heard laughing 

and barking 

getting a bit worried 

you hurried her up a bit 

walking out quickly as possible 

sister next to you 

holding your hand

you saw your brother 

lets name him 

jack...idk im not good with names sorry future children

ANYWAY

jack was standing holding the dogs leash 

as two guys were petting the dog 

one taller than the other 

your sister ran towards them quickly 

surprising the boys 

“Oh hi, you want to pet the puppy too?”

“He’s my puppy”

she had replied to the guy

“Lilly play nice!”

the both looked over at you 

“i’m sorry about her, she’s never lets anyone touch teddy here”

they nodded at you understating 

the shorter one looked back at your sister

“Not even if jack said we could touch teddy”

she looked at you 

asking you if it was okay

nodding at her she turned back to him and nodded 

“oh, i’m sorry let me introduce myself” 

he looked at you and back at lilly 

“I’m hyunggu but you can call me Kino! and my tall friend here is Yuto”

lilly looked up at him and he smiled at her and waved 

“he’s pretty”

you all giggled at her comment

“What about me”

she stared at kino for a second before nodding at him 

“you're pretty too”

you had talked for a while with them before they had to leave 

you stayed at the park a bit longer 

watching your brother and sister play in the playground 

sitting on the grass nearby with the dog right next to you 

taking a wonderful little nap

the dog not you 

on your way home 

kino had seen you from across the street 

yet you hadn't seen him or yuto 

you were too busy keeping your brother from trying to run ahead 

The next time you saw kino 

you were on a run 

getting your daily cardio

which you've never done before

it was your friend who said you couldn't go on a run everyday for a month 

wanting to prove them wrong you bet on it 

you had stopped to get a drink of water when he appeared next to you 

“Oh, kino hi!”

“hi...uh sorry i never got your name last time”

“Oh, yeah its y/n”

“Well y/n would it be weird if i said i wanted to ask for your number last time, but i didn’t want to do it in front of your brother or sister”

laughing you nodded at him

“It might be a bit weird, but at least you tried so sure ill give you my number”

smiling at each other he handed you his phone 

putting your number in it quickly 

you handed it back to him 

“Well there you go, now if you'll excuse me I have to finish my run for today”

“Bye y/n ill text you later”

nodding at him you turned and started running again 

he infect dd text you later that day 

you spent all afternoon replying to each other 

getting to know the other pretty well 

long story short this crap

that's basically how you met

he took you out on a couple dates

four to be exact 

once a week

the first date he took you to an arcade 

you played laser tag

some mini golf 

go karting 

some rock climbing as well 

the second date was more on the classic side

dinner and a movie 

he had asked you what your fav place to eat was

thats where he took you 

at the movie theatre you couldn't decide what to watch 

so you let a total stranger decide what you should watch 

and you weren't disappointed at all

the third date was more relaxing and chill

a coffee date 

you sat at a café 

for about an hour or two 

just enjoying each others presence 

the amazing coffee and cake

talking non stop 

telling cute little stories

The fourth date 

that was a picnic and walk through the park 

the one you met at 

thats when he finally officially asked you out 

from there on you brought him around your siblings again 

Lilly loved him but always asked for Yuto 

Jack liked him too 

he would go up to him and ask for help 

sometimes it was advice on dating 

which you would always say 

“don't ask him, he sucks at dating”

which would end up with you running around the house 

with kino hot on your trail

You’d have movie nights at your place

Lilly making sure that she got to cuddle kino instead of you

you didn't mind though 

you liked that he got along with your family

lots and lots of sleepovers

some camping 

in the backyard 

laying under the stars

as he sings to you 

be ready for a load ton of selfies

you'll get minimum 4 a day 

he will always take candid pictures of you 

lots of hand holding 

or an arm around you 

basically has to feel yo near him 

always sending you the cutest of messages 

or cheesy pick up lines

“you're smile lights up my worls”

five seconds later

“Life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless.”

that one made you laugh 

but then another one appeared 

“You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.”

you’d just laugh at each one that came in

“My doctor says I'm lacking vitamin U”

at some point you would just end up calling him 

he would answer right away

“good I can say this one instead of typing it out”

“oh you have more?”

“Juts this last one”

“Oh my, okay what is it?”

“If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?”

“Really?”

“yes now answer please its urgent”

“that was my answer”

"wait what”

“forget it, where are you taking me”

“oh, thats a surprise” 

and then he hangs up 

you sit there shocked for a second

“He didn’t even say bye”

your phone rings again

it was him again 

picking up you didnt even get a word in 

“be ready at 3, bye love”

looking at the time you freaked a bit 

“He only gives me 30 minutes to get ready”

thats how most of your dates happen 

unless he tells you an actual day in advance 

then but the ones that are planned 

are usually more formal dates

to dinner 

the unplanned ones 

are just you two running around town 

or a trip to the beach 

“to watch the sunset”

lots of kisses 

forehead kisses 

nose kisses

surprise kisses 

back of the hand kisses 

he just loves to kiss you 

likes to kiss you in front of the members 

you could be sitting in the living room 

one of the members sitting with you two

watching tv

and then he suddenly has his lips on yours 

making whoever was in the room leave

“what was that for”

“wanted to spend time alone with you”

cuddles are a must

holding you in his arms as a movie plays 

feeling you slowly fall asleep in his arms

he loves that 

how you slowly relax into him 

and get comfortable 

arguments are rare

going out less 

staying in more

cooking together 

all in all

he would be such a lovely boyfriend 

someone you could trust 

100%

super caring and thinks of you a lot 

[the-writerly-night-owl]

New Member of the Family

Book: Desire and Decorum

Pairing: MC x Ernest Sinclaire

Summary: A new member of the family comes quicker then most and delivered by a one Edmund Marlcaster.

Authors Note: Long post incoming! This clocks at 2,000 words which surprised me. I don’t know who to pair Edmund up with honestly with Miss Sutton out of the way. I prefer Briar and Mr. Woods (if anyone has those stories please send them to me!) but it could be whoever you want since I left it vague. Enjoy!

Tag List!  @flyawayboo @queen-among-writers   @cosigottahavefaith  @am-i-invisible777 @countrymusicandncis-blog @fluffy-cat-whisper @melodyofgraves @symonde 

It was an over cast day as the sky was a formidable shade of gray that threatened to burst, but never did. By the pondside at Edgewater Clara Sinclaire wrote in her journal as she checked on the baby next to her. He was sitting up looking curiously around as she tipped his chin so he could look at her.

“Yea, you’re so cute Andrew,” she said cooing at the infant as she turned him on his stomach encouraging him to crawl. “Mama loves you.”

He drooled as Clara used a handkerchief to wipe his face as her other son, Laurence, raced past her. Behind him quickly following was Ernie trying to tag him.

“Boys stay away from the edge of the water,” called Ernest as he chased after him. Vincent quickly gaining speed behind him. The boys were running away from someone but why they didn’t really scatter she wasn’t sure.

Clara just shook her head as she did a quick head check to keep track of her children. The boys were playing tag and the girls next to her playing with their dolls. Good, she thought, as she smiled at Mabel and Georgiana happily playing almost shouting at each other to be heard.

“I caught you,” called Vincent as he finally tagging someone. “You’re its Georgiana.”

The girls put down their dolls before joining in the game of tag as Clara shook her head. So much for them winding down for now as they had participated in the last two games of tag. She looked down at Andrew again as she made a face that made him giggle. He was going to be one soon enough as Clara was already thinking ahead of what to do for it.

“I’m out of this round I need rest,” said Ernest as he put a hand up. That seemed to upset the kids as they ran straight at him as they hugged his legs. “I’m going to sit with your mom and brother for now. Your cousins Katherine and Harry will be here soon though.”

Gently he pried off Mabel off his leg as she ran along following her brothers and elder sister. Edmund was going to be arriving soon with his two children. Ernest smiled as he took a spot next to Clara as she grinned at him. It was quiet as they watched the kids play as Ernest put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. Giggling Clara let her pages air out as she put the book aside and rested her head against his arm.

“Guess who’s crawling toward you,” she said as she saw Andrew pulled himself up next to him. “It’s hard to believe he’s going to be one soon.”

Ernest pulled up Andrew on his lap as he peered curiously at the buttons on his jacket before pulling at them. Ernest took his hands and played with them for a moment.

“It’s going to be time for us to try for baby number seven,” he teased as Clara giggled as she wrapped an arm around his waist. That didn’t actually sound too bad, she thought, grinning. He leaned in and kissed her as the back door to the estate opened. Clara turned to look to see her grandmother coming towards them with a rather pensive expression on her face.

“Clara, Ernest there you are,” said Dominique as she sat at the bench behind him. Reluctantly Ernest pulled away from Clara as he turned his attention to his son as he listened to what the women were saying. “Dinner will be ready when Edmund gets here. What is this?”

“My journal,” said Clara as she made sure the ink was for sure as she firmly shut the pages and put it in her bag she carried with the children’s needs in it.

“I didn’t know you wrote,” she said getting a good look at it before she cleared her throat. “Will Vincent be joining us for dinner?”

“Yes he is,” said Ernest as he squeezed Clara’s hand.

“I’ll help decide on dinner,” said Clara as she kissed her husband’s lips softly as Dominique only flushed. Despite having six children the open display of affection was rather unconventional. She took Andrew from his lap as they headed inside. He needed a nap before eating anyway. Behind them Ernest got up as well to round up the children to wash and have their downtime.

Together the two strode inside Edgewater hand in hand as they smiled at each other.

Ernest took Vincent and Ernie to the study, so they could work. Clara took the others to the parlor as Georgiana was to work on her sampler. Her sewing was really improving as she helped her. Laurence and Mabel playing quietly with their toys that they did have here.

Finally, after an hour had passed did the next carriage pull up that housed Edmund and his two children. He had married not too long after Ernie was born, and his children were Georgiana and Laurence’s age, which was five and seven.

“Hello aunt,” chorused both children as Harry bowed to her and Katharine curtsied. Both of them were smiling that it looked as their faces were going to burst.

“Hello Mrs. Sinclaire,” said Edmund as he followed in after them as he kissed her cheeks.

“We have a surprise for you and our cousins,” said Katharine as her brother shot her a look. “It’s for after dinner though.”

Clara looked at Edmund a bit surprised as he shook his head. “We mustn’t tell them what it is,” said Edmund sternly to his daughter who nodded shyly.  “Now run along and find your cousins. I’m sure they’re very hungry and eager to see you.”

“They’re in the nursery,” said Clara as she smiled at them to head up,

The two children headed up as they all started toward the dining room. It was still rather dull as her grandmother tried her best to keep Clara up on the gossip. The former Miss Bowman passed giving birth to her third child. Viscount Westonly’s widow had remarried again, she was on her third husband this time. King George was getting worse day by day.

It was long a long dinner as Clara could only smile as she saw Edmund talking with her son. She felt a pang of sadness run through her. They were going to have to send him off to boarding school in the fall as she took a breath. There was still five other children to care for. If they were back at Ledford the entire family would be eating together and not just the eldest.

“I’m going to go and check on Andrew,” said Clara whispering to her husband.

“Can you wait Clara?” asked Edmund. “The kids really want to give you all your surprise at the same time.”

“Alright, how about I get them together?” she asked as he nodded looking very happy.

Clara gave Edmund a long look before going upstairs to get the kids. Their dinner was just about over as well.

Not even knocking she entered the room to find the kids finishing up their food. Ernie telling his younger siblings some story or another. The nursemaid, Ellen, stood up and curtsied to her as Clara just smiled at her.

“I think it’s time for you to share your surprise,” said Clara to the children as Ellen followed after the children.

Just behind her was Katharine and Harry as they were excited. After them the others followed in tow ready for the surprise whatever it might be. The family had gathered in the living room with Dominique, Edmund, and Ernest already there talking amongst themselves. Mr. Marlcaster had a large box in front of him as Katharine and Harry raced toward him.

Clara and Ellen helped get the kids settled down on the carpet as Andrew tried to crawl over to the box. She made a face as she went to pick him up and sat next to Ernest.

“Do you know what it is?” asked Clara in a whisper to her husband.

“I do, and I think you’ll like it,” said Ernest as he pressed his lips to her temple and rubbed Thomas’s head affectionately.

“Alright here it is,” said Harry as the three of them pulled off the top of the box together.

Then there was nothing leaving everyone puzzled. Edmund put up a finger before he poked his hand inside as there was a small… bark?

The box tumbled over as a puppy tumbled out as it panted facing them as it yipped at them. It was adorable as it was black and white with tan spots around its eyes and cheeks. Clara glanced over at Edmund as she couldn’t help but grin. She once had a pug named Mr. Bingley before but it had passed shortly after Georgiana was born. They had yet to get a dog since.

“She’s yours,” said Katharine proudly.

“Doggie,” said Mabel as she went over to pet it. The dog sniffled at her before rubbing his head against her hand.

As quick as they were the kids surrounded the dog petting her fur and licking them as they played together. It was quite adorable as Clara watched them play with the dog. Next to her Lady Grandmother put a hand to her chest as she seemed happy for them too.

“Children what do we say to uncle and cousins?”  asked Ernest as the kids shot up.

“Thank you, uncle and cousins,” chorused the children all at once. Georgiana even went up to hug him as Edmund looked surprised before patting her head. She giggled before going off to play the puppy again.

“What are you going to name her?” asked Clara as Andrew gurgled in her lap.  

That seemed to be the worst question to ask as all of them had an idea. Ernest held his hand up to keep them from talking over each other. This had to be had done one at a time. “P… peh… Pip… a,” mumbled Andrew in her lap.

“Hey I think Andrew named her,” said Vincent as he heard him trying to talk. It seemed easier to let him name her rather than fight over it. “Pippa.”

“I like it,” said Georgiana as she giggled patting the dogs head. She barked back at her enjoying the rubbing. “Miss Pippa Sinclaire.”

“I wanted to name her Lady,” protested Laurence.

“Alright she’s Lady Pippa Sinclaire,” said Ernie as he rubbed Pippa’s tummy. “You’re a good girl.”

The kids clamored around her as they went to show her around the inside of Edgewater. At least where they could go as the puppy stuck close to Mabel. Next to her Lady Grandmother turned to talk to Ernest about something as Clara held her son and crossed the room to sit next to Edmund.

It was quiet between them as she listened for the kids as they were telling the dog where everything was.  

“I asked Ernest and he said it was alright. He wanted to keep it a surprise for you,” said Edmund as he smiled at her. “The kids were happy she went with someone they knew and liked.”

“Well thank you, that was a very sweet idea,” said Clara as she took his hand.

“It’s not a problem,” he said with a small wistful smile on his face.

It was quiet as Ernest kissed her head once Edmund and Lady Grandmother were talking with each other. “Did you like my surprise?” he asked as Clara giggled.

“Of course I did,” she said. “And now we have a new member of the family for right now.” Clara leaned in close to him as a sly grin on her face as she blinked up at him. “Who knows we may or may not have another.”

Ernest flushed as he whispered right back. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting to do that with you,” he said as Clara smiled kissing her sons head. Maybe they would have another baby sometime. 

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, 2018 (dir. Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)

Nominated for: Best Original Song, Best Costume Design, Best Adapted Screenplay

SPOILER ALERT THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD ME HEARTIES BE YE WARNED

wowee what a cool film!!  i went into this not knowing much about it except it was directed by the Coen brothers (directors of Fargo and The Big Lebowski) which set real high expectations for me.  these guys are real masters of storytelling and what immediately come to mind when i think of movies that know how to effectively use dark humor.  i also love the kinds of stories they tell in general, how they take subjects and settings that seem kinda mundane and just give them this little extra spark. 

so is this newest film just as good as their other work???  well id say yeah for sure!!!  it reminds me a lot of a film they did shortly after The Big Lebowski called O Brother, Where Art Thou?, because theyre both period pieces AND because they both feature a myriad of eclectic and interesting characters.  the one thing that makes The Ballad of Buster Scruggs really stand out from their other films however is the fact that this is actually an anthology made up of six different stories, all set during the same time period in The Wild West.  its also worth mentioning that this movie was made to premiere on Netflix, which is something ive started to see more and more as the streaming platform becomes the new go-to source of media content.  its very exciting to see such prolific directors go the Netflix route and have great success with it, because it means that the platform really is capable of creating high-quality movies and TV shows and working with big-name talent.  im sure the big hollywood production companies are all quaking in their lil booties cause this means big BIG changes are on the horizon

ok so ive reviewed anthology series before, notably Black Mirror, and with those reviews i ranked the short stories in order of least to most favorite.  so i guess in this case ill do the same, although its hard to really rank these cause i truly enjoyed all of them in different ways.  there was one however that didnt really tickle my fancy much, which was “Near Algodones”.  this one stars james franco as a bank robber who seems to have met his match in a fiery (probably crazy) bank teller.  he gets caught and hung from a tree by the town’s sheriff, but nearly manages to escape death when a Native American tribe swoops in and kills the sheriff and his crew.  james franco is saved by a cattle driver, only to be caught again by the next town’s sheriff for allegedly trying to hawk the cattle (which was not the case at all).  right before they kick the chair out from under him at the hanging, he sees a beautiful woman in blue, who at first smiles at him but then looks unnerved as he stares back at her. 

i think with this one the ending really didnt do much for me, i kinda didnt get it.  i did understand the whole irony behind surviving punishment for a crime he DID commit but getting hanged for a crime he never committed, and the bank teller was pretty hilarious, but everything else about the segment was just ok.  james franco didnt really blow me away (he never really does but thats besides the point), the rest of the performances were fine, and the story just kinda zipped on through.  maybe ill give this one another watch to see if the ending makes any more sense to me, or if theres any sense to be made from it at all

next up for me would be “The Gal Who Got Rattled”, and this segment i have mixed feelings over.  its about this brother and sister who set out on the Oregon trail so that the brother can get his sister to marry his business partner in Oregon.  the sister seems like a kind of wishy-washy, subdued character who just kinda goes along with whatever her brother says without giving much of her own opinion.  i gotta give credit to zoe kazan (who starred in The Big Sick) cause she does a great job with this character, totally spot-on performance.  ok so turns out the brother is a fucken HORRIBLE businessman who screws up all his business deals all the time, and he tragically dies like two days into being on the oregon trail.  he has this annoying-ass dog that barks all the time and everyone else on the caravan is sick of it, so when the brother dies the sister just lets one of the trail leaders put it down.  turns out the sister like did not like her brother at all but was always too afraid to say anything.  now getting back to the bad businessman thing, apparently he had promised the helper boy that is helping move their covered wagon a large sum of money, half of it halfway through the journey and the rest when they get to oregon.  problem is, the sister doesnt have the money, so it was either left in the brothers pocket when he was buried or there wasnt actually any money at all and he lied, y’know, like a bad businessman does.  the trail leader who put the annoying dog down offers to help her, and the two start to get close.  so now its like a pseudo love story thing.  except it ends pretty tragically (the sister dies its a long story and pretty ironic just watch it if u wanna know)

so uuuhhhhh this one was long as shit, like a lot longer than the other segments when it didnt really need to be???  like it just kept  going and going, and again the ending didnt really make up for how long it was.  i really liked zoe kazan in this, but otherwise nothing to write home about. 

number four on my list would have to go to “All Gold Canyon”, which basically just follows the story of a gold miner in the mountains trying to get that money honey.  this segment is the simplest one out of the bunch, but i gotta say its absolutely gorgeous.  what beautiful scenery and cinematography.  it provides a nice contrast to our disheveled, run-down gold miner who is just tearing up the beautiful grassy fields trying to get to this gold.  there seems to be a theme in this one of man’s relationship to nature, and how the gold miner does put in effort to respect it but still takes advantage of it for his own benefit.  and i guess theres a broader theme of greed, or the ruthless and endless pursuit of wealth which can drive people to do crazy and desperate things.  i definitely really enjoyed this one, especially the gold miner character played by tom waits.  but otherwise it didnt stand out as much to me as the other segments im gonna talk about

SPEAKING OF WHICH heres number three!!  “The Mortal Remains” is right up my alley, and has some more mythical elements to it than the other segments ive talked about so far.  so we have a wagon full of passengers all going to this hotel for various reasons, and its a really diverse cast of characters: we have the older wife of a prolific religious lecturer, a rich Frenchman, a trapper, a foppish Englishman, and a cheery laid-back Irishman, the last two seeming to be companions of some sort.  they all get on the topic of the true nature of mankind, and the three characters opposite of the strange pair all have something different to say.  the trapper believes that all people are inherently the same, with the same basic needs.  the older woman disagrees and insists that there are two kinds of people, upright and sinning.  and then the Frenchman says that both of them are wrong, that human existence is much more complicated and nuanced than that; no one persons life is exactly the same as another’s.  and then we have the Englishman and the Irishman, who turn out to be bounty hunters of some sort (is heavily alluded that they are grim reaper-type figures).  they explain their method of completing their kills, and talk about how they enjoy watching their victims “try to make sense of it all” in their death throes.  these two clearly have a much more cold and sinister idea of the nature of mankind, and the rest become very unsettled all the way to the hotel.  no one else even dares to step out of the carriage while the bounty hunters drag their latest victim through the front entrance and up the stairs.

oh man this segment was great!  i think the reason its third on my list is cause i really wish there was more to it, like if the Coen brothers spent more time on this one instead of “The Gal Who Got Rattled” it would be perfect.  Jonjo O’Neill and Brendan Gleeson as the bounty hunters were so enthralling, and i loved watching them play off of each other.  hell, i couldve had a whole movie featuring those two.  and the screenwriting really shines in this segment too.  this segment almost feels like a fable or something, which is really fitting for the time period.  makes me wonder if they had based it off of an actual fable.  but anyway yeah this ones awesome!

i had a hard time choosing between “The Mortal Remains” and this next segment for second place cause i liked them both equally, but in the end “Meal Ticket” gets #2 purely because of the utterly fantastic performance by Harry Melling, who plays a quadriplegic actor in a traveling show run by liam neesons character, an irish traveling entertainer.   the story itself is really simple, we just see this disabled actor be carted from one town to the next, doing the same stage show which is basically just him reciting famous prose throughout the ages.  meanwhile liam neeson is trying to get as much money as he can out of the audience members.  he doesnt interact much with harry melling outside of feeding him and helping him piss and get dressed.  u get the sense that he doesnt really see his disabled actor as an actual person, but more of an entertaining object or a pet.  and this becomes even more apparent when the irishman gets some competition from another traveling entertainer who has a chicken that can do math.  he sees this chicken getting more money than him, so he buys it off of the other guy and takes it with him.  and finally, the poor limbless actor is literally and figuratively tossed aside for the next best thing.

man oh man what a great segment!  harry melling blew me away with his performance, the fact that he was able to get such a nuanced range of emotion out of the few lines he was given (basically he had to recite the same shit over and over again) was so impressive to me.  and his non-verbal communication was really solid too.  liam neeson did really well in his role too.  and again the story itself is really great, simple but effective and really gets the point across without having to beat the audience over the head with its message. OH YEAH ITS REAL GOOD LOVE IT

and finally we have my #1 pick, which i think the directors knew this was the best one out of the bunch too cause its the first segment as well as the title of the whole movie.  “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” has that signature Coen brothers wit and dark humor that i love, it plays off of typical Western movie tropes and is very tongue-in-cheek and i ate that shit up.  tim blake nelson as the titular buster is just so fucken perfect for this role, he really shines in this and its kind of a shame that its one of the shorter segments cause it really is the best one and he knocks it out of the park.  we got some great music in this segment too, which is where that Best Original Song nom comes in.   this one also has some strong fable-y vibes to it, like this story could be amongst the likes of American folklore like Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed.  i wont get much into the plot of this one but i highly recommend watching it, even if you dont wanna see the rest of the segments. 

the segments fit together pretty well overall, although the tone of each of them differs slightly the fact that the setting and time period are the same is enough to firmly knit all these stories together.  its a really unique idea for a movie, and is so far the best attempt at an anthology movie that ive ever seen purely because the stories really all make sense together and play off of each other well.  in other anthology movies ive seen like The ABC’s of Death the segments usually dont have much at all to do with each other, except that they all fall in the same genre.  so overall id say give this a watch, especially if ur a Coen brothers fan, cause theres some real good stuff in here.

well thats all i got for now cowboys!!  i watched Roma the other day and CRIED REAL HARD so get ready for me to kiss that movies ass in a review that should be done in the next few days.  until then go uuhhhhhh lasso a cow or something.  chew some tobaccy.  fondle a barmaids titties.  die of dysentery.  y’know just old west things~

[squiddoodle]

@lezzyharpy.....you blocked me but i’m going to reply cause your apprently 26..... And I can’t not address this cause fuck my brain.

-good fucking g-d how the fuck do you take “you cant claime to defend us while simultaneously mocking our beliefs” as a challenge. how are you misreading shit this badly - um well that’s not all of what you said. Like i’ve never heard an atheist say religious beliefs are children’s stories but I have heard them say they are fiction, comforting stories, fairytales/ myths... but anyone who thinks all religous stories are kiddish....really lets their kids read some violent stuff. And you claim believing that makes us antisemitic. Your saying not agreeing with you and thinking what your doing is a waste of time so personally want none of it , and not just you but all religion but “you do you” is insulting and mocking you!? You’re claiming that is being antisemic. There’s a huge diffrance between “ fine soccer a boring, pointless waste of my time and I have no interest in it and this is why but I can see you enjoy it and get fafillment out of it so go ahead i’ll cheer for you and be happy for you” vs “I hate everyone who plays soccer I think their the devil and we should ban soccer and beat up soccer fans. I think soccer is a illness. I think they are disgusting and not like us/ i’m going to sit back and let other people say and do that to soccer and soccer fans.” Also your acting like we think we’re better than you because we don’t belive in it.....largely....no... we are just AWARE we have unprovable things we like to belive that make us feel better and we know we could be wrong about everything we think we know, we are open to being proven wrong on facts and scientific proof would prove us wrong ..... that is litrally the soul diffrances. I don’t judge all my religious friends just one ones who think they are better than everyone else and are “at war” with everyone not as ““Enlighten as them” because of that religion. Your mocking atheist for acting like “Ohwiseones” and yet when I was religious and not the most mockly self righteous people I’ve known have all been religious. You mock us for acting like the  “o wise one Knowing better” and yet that is the bases of every damn religion! “you are the chosen none dilousional ones god has taught better than silly unbelieving fools” ....and you are litrally talking to me like your all knowing and i’m dumb filth....

( for the record what was acturlly said v)

- if we ask that you not mock our beliefs that is not….. even remotely the same thing as saying you must have the same beliefs as us-

  right it shouldn’t be but your making out it is. because apprently unless we act like you know better than us or likely that myth is equal to fact or agree that spending endless hour of your time and most your thought process worshipping a god that no one can prove exist and belive that this one specific book is full of wisdom truth and sense and agree that his rules are good and he is good you know just cause “he” says so in his book , unless we agree that that sounds like a good use of anyone’s time, and is the healthiest way to deal with life and nothing bad ever comes from it and none of it is asking you to belive some really bizarre unproven things and think that there couldn’t possibly be another way, or we’re just not honest about it and never express our view point ever about anything religious, then we’re antisemites ......that’s how the logic your putting here comes across.

-how are you this fucking dense -   ... litrally insulting me...  but ok: Or maybe apprently you don’t know what you’re implying?

are you really gonna ask how you were insulting while you compared us to dogs? - 

.......ok first off you know that’s a well known saying/metaphor right? If I said “you’re look a gift horse in the mouth” you haven’t litrally done that ether and your gift is not litrally a horse or being compared to one. Second I “compared” us both to dogs...and i’m not a Jew....I was also a dog in that situation!  ....or at least that’s how I was picturing it: one dog barking up the tree the other laying in the grass chilling watching out....a metaphor is not me acturlly saying we are dogs🤦‍♀️.....do you not understand sayings? ok without the saying, what I was saying is: from where I am stood I think your using a lot of time on effort on somthing that’s not real and to me it seems a bit silly but i respect that it makes sense to you, so long as no one really gets hurt, I’m not going to judge you or stop you, i’m just going to mind my own business but be ready to go after anyone who does judge you or try to stop you......so yeah that really wasn’t a insult but apprently you want to stretch for them so...

 - and yea i brought up jews specifically cuz im jewish you dipshit, and as for your “oh woe is me how could i have possibly known”…

your reading comprehension is fucking pathetic- 

ok first off  again the only one throwing insults here is you, the only one calling an actual person names is again you. The only one not trying to understand the other persons point of view or why they said somthing is you. Second you listed “Jews, Muslims and minority faiths” and then use “our”..... grammatically that means yeah you’re likely at least one of those, but it doesn’t specify which. Also I wasn’t ...“woe is me”...ing... i really don’t know where you got that level of drama and victim playing from. I just didn’t want to assume, I had figured you probally where Jew but you could just be a Muslim who cared more about Jews them themselves, or another majority faith, 🤷‍♀️ Hell you could even be a troll pretending to be a Jew, I litrally don’t know you  so I have no idea who you really are and have to take your word on stuff just like you do me. And you didn’t fully clarify so I didn’t just assume. And all i’m saying is funny how quickly your dropped your “defence” of Muslims and other faiths and how your not answering my questions about how you view other faiths and beliefs.

-take a fucking step back, reread the original post, and consider what it is about a jew asking that people not mock our beliefs while claiming to support us that made you feel so fucking targeted, and while youre at it, question why you think a call to not mock our beliefs is a call that everyone must hold our beliefs. if you wanna talk about projection youve got some serious fucking introspection to do first- 

here’s the thing, it wasn’t that part, alone, as you are declaring it now.  Cause by the rest of what you said i’m pretty sure your not talking about things like insulting charactures and stereotyping of Jews right? Your not talking about someone crashing a religous ceremony or mocking it, or laughing at /ripping off your religious clothing ,or Phyically trashing your book ,or visiting your temple and violating the rules or yelling their own views and how stupid everything is during the sermon, or telling you Jews are demons (or somthing not human and insulting) ,or Acturlly picking on you for being a Jew or any stuff like that? Cause yeah ok those are mocking and insulting, gross and deeply disrespectful,. That would be a horrific way to treat you and I’m not defending any of that, I would want to punch anyone who did those or alike to you. Heck I would even defend you if someone outwardly called you dumb just for believing in the possibly of a god because who fucking knows, nothing in life is 100% certain other than we here and we’ll die.

 But that’s not on the lines of the exarmples you have, which to me seem very dramatised and exsadrated anyway. But by the rest of what you said i’m betting you’re talking about people saying stuff like “ i’m not gonna lie I think it’s kind of daft that you think snakes could litrally talk but if that’s what you want to do ok” or “ok I think it’s kind of silly to waste your life trying to please someone you don’t even really know is there but it’s your life” and “ you know there’s a good chance you only belive what you do cause you where brought up to” ...and those aren’t mocking you they’re disagreeing with you and expressing a diffrent point of view. They might be hard to hear but that doesn’t make them insults, it doesn’t mean that person thinks less of you! over all i, and i’m pretty sure most on the left, would never really mock you only express our own point of view of things, we might mock and insult you back if you first mock us or try to convert us and won’t take our no and reasoning for an answer, cause your being really fucking rude then. But if you say your going to the temple most of us we’ll say” ok have a nice time” and mean it!  if you say you need to pray about somthing we’ll say “ok cool go ahead” and mean it!( though some might Be uncomfortable depending on context Ei if your just going to pray away cancer and not get treated),  if you ask us if you can pray for us or somthing most of us will be cool with that but we’ll be honest about how we view religion too and we’re not going to agree that everything in your religion is wise, super healthy and sensible, we not going to lie and tell you we think any of it is true . We don’t think religions are true, at best to us it is a heavily myth based self written history you want to belive in, but if it brings you a sense of fulfilment then we won’t judge you we’ll support your right to belive and practise that because we all have our things like that; so please tell me what is insulting, mocking and wrong with that?! Religous people often belive i’m ether a demon tricked fool or some rebelling monster who wants to sin and deny god so I can wallow in my evilness.....now those are pretty insulting, but when religous people just think what I belive is dumb and wrong 🤷‍♀️ Cool we deeply disagree but ok. It’s not insulting, sure I might agrue why I have that view ,but they just don’t agree on my view of things. and if you find that insulting or mocking then logically you just have a problem with anyone who doesn’t 100% agree with you 

-but you can do that introspection on your own, im not in the mood to continuously coddle you assholes while you stumble fecklessly through learning basic decency, so learn that shit behind a block- again the only one throwing insults or being “undecent” to anyone is you. The only one belittling here is you. And blocking helps nothing but ok i’m still going to write this reply cause your sense of logic bugs the crap out of me. Have fun thinking anyone who dosen’t think religion is truthful and pumped with wisdom is antisemic .....I really hope you get my point some day though cause thinking that way can’t feel good. i have litrally 0 hate or hosititly towards you,or any Jews for being active Jews, or your faith or your right to practise it in any land, so on, and that goes for all religions. but you can keep being mad at me cause you think people who think organised religions are largely a scam,or the old books are more myth than fact,  hates you or thinks less of you and has a problem with you or your faith existing .....really don’t but 🤷‍♀️ i’ll still help you stand for your rights against those who acturlly do hate you and are hostile towards you and your right to faith. 

[border-to-insanity]

Barista Blush

~**Coffee shop AU because I’m fucking cliché alright?

‘I want to speak with the manager Coffee shop AU, but wait? You’re the owner?!’

Words: 1621 (Sfw, but just an asshole lady)

Enjoy**~

    Callow glanced down nervously and tugged at the hem of his shirt as he padded down the street to the corner coffee shop. The phone in his pocket buzzed and he pulled it out, quickly swiping the screen to read the message from his sister as he padded along.

    From Itchy: R u gunna finally ask her out?/??/???

    To Itchy: No Blinky, Im gonna to get ur dumb coffee an run.

    From Itchy: Aww :,( bro don’t be leik that

    Callow grumbled as his phone buzzed once more, he pocketed the device with a small scowl, not bothering to read her newest message. He drew in a deep breath, Callow could see the bright cheery flowerpots on the sidewalk outside of the coffee shop’s windows as he turned down the street. Callow may or may not have fallen for the cute barista that works there the one time he ran to get Glitch coffee because ‘Cal, It’s to die for. If I don’t have their coffee at least once a day, I swear to the gods I think I might keel over.’ So here he was, running to get the coffee this oh so wonderful early ass Sunday morning.

    He casually pulled back the doors to the shop and let the smell of baking pasties and creamer fill his nose, smiling as the bell chimed overhead and he joined the line. Sundays weren’t bad. People slept in, and today seemed to be proof as there were only two others ahead of him. He held the door open for someone as he entered, and they fell in line behind him.

    His phone buzzed consistently in his pocket and he let out a small frown before pulling it out to check his newer messages.

    From Itchy: CAL, DO U HAVE HER #???

    To Itchy:  No.

    From Itchy: GOOD

    To Itchy: Wtf Glitch.

    From Itchy: i changed my mind, if u don’t get her number and she rejects you horribly, ill lose u as my coffee bitch

    To Itchy: I don’t know if I should hate your or not right now.

    From Itchy: i just love free coffee

    Callow glanced up as the people in front of him stepped up to the register. His heart fluttered as he saw the familiar barista there, she smiled at her customer and grabbed a cup to write their order.

    The bell by the doors chimed as someone else stepped in but Callow was fixed on the cute barista. Her hair was cut short in a bob, which today was pinned back by a blue beret in her golden hair, her bangs had been streaked with blue and magenta. He put his phone back and was about to step forward as the couple stepped away but a looming figure stepped in front of him.

    “Hey!” Callow scoffed but the other person didn’t pay any attention to him, the woman didn’t even glance to him as she stepped up to the register where the barista was, and began to order. “I’d like a large, triple caramel roasted latte with an extra shot-”

    “Will the next customer please step up?” The barista paid no mind to the other customer and looked over to Callow, she grinned widely and Callow returned the smile, his cheeks flushing.

    “Hey! I was ordering!” The woman demanded, her foot tapping on the tile floor in frustration.

    “I can definitely take your order after these other two people” The barista kept her honey sweet smile, and big ol’ doe eyes on as she gestured to Callow and the person behind him.

    “No, no sweetie.” The woman fluttered her hands as if she was talking to a five-year-old. “I’m ordering my coffee, now. I’m running late for a meeting and need it, now.”

    “You can wait just behind these lovingly patient people too and I will be more than happy to make your coffee so you can be on your way.” The barista makes a small shoo movement but kept her smile plastered on.

     The woman sneered in disgusted, as if waiting was something she’s never done or heard of. “I could have had my coffee and been out the door by now! Honestly, what good are you? Where is your supervisor? I want to speak with your manager!” Her shrill voice rang out.

    The barista bowed her head, “Oh course, one moment please.” She turned and walked back behind the swinging doors.

    Callow shifted his weight uneasily, he looked over to the woman in front of him and the doors to the back room. They were still swinging as the barista caught them and added back through, this time a male following her, he was slightly taller and had his hair tied back in a bun. “This is her, Psi.” The barista said nodding from the woman to the man.

    Psi cranked out a fake smile and said “Thank you, Gamma.” Callow’s heart sunk as the barista turned and went back into the back room, he hoped that she was alright… Unfortunately, the woman’s shrill screeching caught his attention and he was dragged out of his thoughts and back into the now.

    “Your insulant barista refused to take my order and now I’m late for my very important meeting!”

    “I am so sorry about this, I am sure we can accommodate-”

    “Oh, yes you will!” The woman pointed a crooked finger at Psi “I want her fired and my coffee free now!” Callow’s mouth dropped.

    Psi raised both hands in mock surrender “I am sorry madam but I do not hold that kind of authority, if you would like I can get you the Owner and you may take it up with them.”

    She made a shooing motion, her face twisted up. “Yes yes! Go do that, right now!” She barked at him and Psi went into the back once more.

     Not even a moment later, Psi and Gamma returned through the doors.

    Gamma lifted a small hand in a half wave.

    “What is she still doing here? I thought I was going to talk to the store owner and have you fired!” The woman snarled.

    Psi shrugged as if he couldn’t care less what was happening or that the woman was practically foaming at the mouth in rage. “You told me to get the store owner, and so here she is.” He gestured to his adorable co-worker.

    Gamma’s face split into an ear to ear grin as she placed her palms on the counter and leaned onto it. “Hello again ma’am, I do believe we’ve spoken before. And I will be more than happy to take your order, after theirs.” She gave an indication to people in line and then called out “May I take the next customer please?”

The woman looked as if Gamma had just slapped her across the face, she took a step back, her teeth grit as she tore her gaze away from Gamma long enough to see Callow and the other patron in line. “Fine!” She spat out in disgust. “I’m never buying coffee here again!”

    Callow watched as Gamma tried to hide her amusement, Psi crossed his arms with a light-hearted shrug as the lady stormed out. “Gamma, why do you always do this to me?”

    He stepped to the other register as Gamma motioned Callow forward and Psi took the next customer.

    “Uh…” Callow froze up as he locked eyes with Gamma, a blush creeping up his face as he stood in front of her at the register.

    “It’s Callow, right?” Gamma said as she grabbed one of the cups by the register, he was about to open his mouth when she said. “You come in almost every single day and get the same two drinks.”

    “Oh, yeah. The medium tea and large coffee with milk.”

    Gamma hummed as she wrote the orders on the cups. She placed them down and looked back up at him as Callow handed her payment for the drinks. “Who’s the second for if you don’t mind me asking? You don't really strike me as a coffee drinker.”

    “My sister, she swears by it that without your coffee, she wouldn’t make it through the day.” Callow beamed as Gamma tilted her head to the side as she laughed.  

    “Wow! What an honor! If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you my number. I love meeting people who think so highly of my shop!”

    Callow grinned “Of course!” and graciously accepted the napkin that Gamma had written her number on, he pulled out a twenty and put it in the tip-jar.

    Gamma turned to make the coffee and Callow stepped away from the counter.

    He watched as Gamma and Psi effortlessly worked around each other as the two shifted places constantly in a synchronized dance behind the counter to grab the ingredients that they needed. Sooner than Callow wanted to admit he was tearing his gaze away and Gamma was sliding his two drinks into his reach.

“Ya know...” She mused with that cute small smile on her face. “I hear the Owner here is really nice”

    Callow grabbed the warm cups gratefully, he inhaled the scent of freshly brewed tea and chuckled. “Do you think they’d mind if I asked out one of the employees on a date? I’d just hate for them to get fired.”

    Gamma’s eyes gleamed brightly “Actually, I think the Owner gets off at 8pm? If you want to ask them yourself?”

    “I’ll be sure to swing by to pick them up” He grinned and she waved him goodbye as he turned and sauntered back out the door. The chime overhead sounded miles away and Callow began to imagine his date later tonight with the cute barista behind the counter with the big doe eyes.

[themothermary-blog1]

i sound too much like my brothers   and now it makes more sense

i remember when i usto tell my brothers dont talk like that   life aint like that Tommy be nice    he use to tell me to take my rose collored glasses back to the country store  that as soon as i get a grip that life is primaraly bull shit that he woul be  happer with me   that i need to get my head out of the cloud up there and look around here we are living hell on earth   aint no god gona save you dad aint never coming back  and you real dad is uncle jack    pull my head out of gods ass     mary  we got to get the hell out of cleveland   he ended up in parma and i ended up with  religous hillbillys in southern ohio   now i have been giving the same advice my brothers gave me      i think these hilbillys  used gorilla glew  when inserting there heads up gods ass     the people you should trust the most are the ones who show a rainbow that has black in it   never beleave anything thats too perfict  or anybody that is too nice   if sombody aint showing some copping vice  pertaining to life  than the vice thay   are using is so much worse than the standards   you know  food , coffie ,cigeretts, alcohol drugs being a all around ass hole being on psy meds   i guyes we got the praying folks but those i dont trust the most because thay will never admit it but there copping mechanisim is based  on faith (hope)  i hope for them there is a god up there and i hope for them he cares i hope for them that theres a heven and i hope for them that jesus opened the door  i hope for them that if god does exist that he change his mind because of some crap some preast does under his name see thay are going under the word crist who is sopoato be the one who opened the door  if adam and eve did exist lets face it    it dosent take much to get god pissed    we are soposto be taking care of eachother down here and even after he gave his only begotten son humans are a bunch of self centered creatures   think about all the crap that has happined just since jusus died now you tell me if you were god and you soposedly gave you only son thay got beat half to death had to carrie that cross and then nailed to it  finally stabed   if i was god i would be so ticked so pissed  i would move where heven is with where hell is and trick the selfrichus hippacrits    when it was the time for the judgement day to come to get the human sorting day done i would pull a fast one and have sainten posse as me and open the gate and let all of them is ever one of them   theres going to be a fue that actually stuck to what thay were actuall soposto do but i assure you its very fue  i think mother taresia  maby princess diana    then he will come to people like me and ask whats your excuse i will openly admit i looked at all the religons and  none of them were ohonestly doing the jesus thing it all seemed like a lye so  i chucked all of it and did my best to try to be nice to all not just a fue chosen people  but to be ohonest the cristians are just hard to love thay seemed so fake to me so two faced to me the shit just got on my human nerves i tried to do religon but it just seemed like i was putting on some kind of show i mean i really wanted to beleave and i would put my all in it but it would just fade after awile   god unfortunatly if you needed me to pick the right one you shouldnt have given me so meny to pick from thay ass clame thay know whats best  so i deciced to get my own religous and leave you out of it untill i got to know the real you   sometimes humans just make me so angry it drives me out of my mind i just can let people treat me how ever thay want to   i do turn the other cheak  i have 4 cheaks but then im week after that ive pretty much had it.  so if i let you down im sorry but im a human and my life was anything but easy down there i know nobody ever said life was going to be easy or fair but sereously god did you have to hit me with all that shit  or if sainten had a hand couldnt you have told him enough is enougy because im sorry there comes a time when you have been through so much and seen so much that you just cant beleave theres a god anymore  if you were going to let that happen you should have given me some extra god stuff to go on you know like some kinda  ball of light that comes to me in the middle of the night and says i know you dont understand the reason for all this but trust me there is one then some second of pure happyness like a glimps of heven then put me to sleep so i can put up with more

now  i get my self in truble for this down there i hope its not the same up her but what the hell thay all say im a fuck up so i wont be one bit surprised if you do thay represent you

now get out your my life  movie projector  and i want to do this in a manor that is educational  not  my life falashes befor me

of lest leave out the day to day stuff and get to the big events to me and the importan events to you 

when we hit something that matters to eathor on of us lets stop and discuss it 

now we will keep score  on  some things can we call it even and just cross it out on other things can we find a equal and cross elimanate   once we are done we will see who comes out on top

if i win you let me in 

if you win i have to turn around bend over and let you boot my ass down to hell oh dont worrie sainten aint getting off easy when i walk in the gates of hell im going to be bitching  and whether or not he likes it im going to be trying to help those poor soals like me who just couldnt beleave and there for  mearly existed or in my case tried to do some of that stuff jusus said pertaining to humans 

  for the most part this was  my polacy as long as long as my fellow man dont do nothing to me ill treat him nicely  and have empathy   ill    do somethin to help poor people not just money carring words       ill do a little more to try to help a fue  i usually will lend a ear help people get through hard stuff.    i love kids  i care but im not too great with old people or people with bad learning probablems i did things to better my self and other people   ill give you this if clendlyness is next to godlyness i openly admit most of the time im a half ass to poor house keeper so ill go ahead and give you that one

now jenerally even when somebody does me wrong as long as it dont go on and on i am fairly forgiven

i did clean up my life when i was really not doing right and attemped to appologise to people it may have affected

i care about nature

i want people to be ok

i ohonestly admit it would take a lot for me to forgive the zwicks thay are the some of the coldbloodedist people i have ever met

i truly try to be ohonest   sometimes my ohonest is to a fult

i have a tendency when ive been wronged to point out other peoples faults in a effort to make my self feel better

i try to let people be who thay are and even be understanding if thay dont like me or my way of doing things

ocasionally i lye but never to just hurt sombody  not unless thay have purpously hurt me and its only to show them how it feels   unfortunatly what i have found out is that others people dont get hurt like me or atleast thay sure dont show it

you know i did care about brian and i did want our marrage to work and i did not set out to hurt him in any way shape or form i guyes thats why i cant understand why thay continue to treat me in this way  thay dont even have to outrightly appologise to  me  i have attempted to explain my actions and appologise to brian even attempt to justify his action based on mine but im sorry there comes a time when someones action in retaliation far out weigh the original offence and when it comes to the zwicks i think that point has hit.

if i wash my hands of the current situation for my my sons and my ex husbands sanity i can say this i did all of it to help my son i truly to my heat feel the interaction up to this poin have been for ther good of my son  i do think my son will be used and that thay may be cruel to him possably in the near future i do feel his father is holding him back from life out of selfishness   having said that i now must reolize i am stuck with my ex raising him and if i were to cause his father to see him self for the weekness he is i may cause him to have a mental break down and  that would hurt my son because he loves his father and looks up to him and bursting that bubble  would do more damage than good time will show my son all he needs to know if i cause his father to  have a mental breakdown  my son at this tender age will blame me finding out sad truth bit buy bit is the way most people like it  only i like to be punched in the stomach and get it over with  and get on with my life  he has been told im crazy and he beleaves it if his dad breakes down   what does that leave him with a sense of emptyness  and turning to the wrong people   and none of us want that no matter how much we dont like each othor we all care about him i guyes in our own way  

 so for my sons benifit i will try to pretend his father aint there and that the person in the other room is some cop that was told a bunch of bad stuff about me hes been told im very manipulative dont even talk to me.  he has been told that these visatations only serve the purpous to make me look like a bad person so being rude to her helps  he has been instruted to treat me like garbage so that my son will see me that way and not want anything to do with me anymore that i am to treat brian as death blind and dumb  and that he has pit bull tendencys and if i rattle his cage he will bark me out of the house by his self or using my son  and thats what he wants my son to hurt me or hate me  so thay can finally get rid of me with out bransten getting hurt  so that can play farm disney ever after      i am not play into this i am strong enough to handle this i have handles so much more

i must reolize how vonerable brian and his family must feel that thay are so affraid of me spending one more minute with him  why wasent i that afraid of shannons father  because i knew she didnt want to live with him i knew she was happy with me  i knew he didnt want her that he just wanted to see her

why elts would thay be sceard  thay have delt with sereous mental illness drug issues or drinking and thay  are tarafied because of that persons actions

or thay are so backward that thay cant see that my son would be fine that lots of people have lots of problems and its just life  thay know i ask for help when i need it  thay know i dont hurt kids   thay know i dont put kids down  brian know i pose no danger to him  the danger i pose is to brian and his family    if thay thought life was so great over there and so shitty at my house thay would want him to go and see for him self atleast for a fue  thay might even have brian bring him over here just so he could see how lousey life would be. thay know i will feed him  i have neighbors thay know bransten is in no real danger  thay are afraid he will be happy with me or maby i will take off with him i am too old for that crap i aint going to prison/ live with him on the run thay cant think im that stupid  thay cant possably think i would hurt him  do thay reolize what i went threw just to bring him into this world what i go through emotionally just to see him  what i just paid out to have more time with him  what i am going to be put threw to try to improve our visataions and still may only slightly improve the situation for me   are these people kidding me if anything bad ever happened to him at my house or because of me i would go crazy     that leaves brian who has not put all that much effort in  he did at first but what now does he rilly offer bransten funny faces a farm