rana-pravin-solanki

[katvara]

https://x.com/hollywoodhandle/status/1746629235865747723?

[cursiveinkwords]

being so angry that you're about to explode, but also being so tired and sad and so done that instead of lashing out or swearing or being a bitch you just... lay down. you fall asleep. you go on, feeling all of the same feelings but you can't do anything. day after day as it worsens, the only thing you know you can truly manage is a smile.

"life goes on" you want to say, but you feel like an imposter as the words are spoken, you never truly believed that, you just wanted everyone else to. you slowly rot in a puddle of your own thoughts, soon turning into an ocean in a blink of an eye, or a teardrop from those eyes.

you start to drown, many hands reaching out to save you, but you don't trust any of them. you cant anymore. after all that's happened, how can they trust you either? you continue to rot. nothing feels real anymore. the feelings don't go away like they said they would. they linger over your decaying body that cannot move, cannot speak, cannot feel.

real people have feelings, you think to yourself. the only person you can count on is yourself. but that's a lie too- after this, you wonder if your trust doesn't even reside with your own mind.

day after day of your thoughts consuming you, the rot and decay the only thing you are at this point. there is no end, you think to yourself. reality is shifting. you don't feel connected to it, apart of it even. you are far from real. you are far from believing you are real.

it seems like this feeling goes on forever. at this point, hands have stopped reaching. they have given up, tired of waiting for you to take it, to have faith. at least, that's what you believe.

the illusion begins to waver. you see through the haze, seeing something reaching into the waters of thought you drown yourself in. you hesitate, but wonder what you have to loose. you take a peer closer, not knowing what to expect. you do not hope. you are numb.

a hand.

multiple, actually.

you do nothing except stand in shock. have they been there the whole time? you wonder to yourself. you have not moved, but the hands seem to move towards you.

shouts echo through the waters, tears fill your eyes. is this feeling? you wonder to yourself. you have not truly felt in months.

one of the hands is hovering above your head. this hand is special. it belongs to someone special. you feel as if you haven't seen their hand for years, but you know deep down it has always been there, extended. it has never left. none of them have. the only thing that has left is the trust in yourself to let them help you.

you hear a shout above the water, tears welling in your eyes as you look up.

please let me help you.

you blink away the melancholy, clinging onto this hope like life. it is life. you lift your hand, slowly, trembling, up to theirs, a splitting smile spreads across your face like a disease as you do.

they reach back.

they begin to lift- with all their might- but nothing happens. you are not lifted. you are stuck in the same ocean of thoughts.

you begin to slowly loose hope, your grip slipping. your problems burden you like chains, too heavy for one person to lift.

one person.

you feel another hand grab your arm.

please don't give up now.

another hand.

another.

four hands are grasping your arm, hauling you upwards. they heave and heave, and you begin to lift, slowly.

more shouts echo above the surface. you feel unanchored to the bottom of the endless sea, beginning to tether with reality again.

two more hands reach out, taking your other arm. heave, heave, heave, haul, haul, haul.

your head rises above the surface. you gasp in the air, you haven't felt this in forever. the oxygen fills your lungs all at once, feeling better then it ever did before, feeling needed, feeling.

you are brought to the surface fully, coughing up the choking, intoxicating water from your lungs. you stare down at the ocean.

it does not go on for miles. it is not neverending. it was you who thought of it that way. it wasn't your fault that you did. from the inside, it was forever.

you turn to everyone standing around you, staring at each and every one of them.

thank you, you sputter. the words come out in a choke.

a hand, the hand, the one who started it all, rests on your shoulder.

we would do it again.

tears trickle down your face, as you smile that same splitting smile again.

you did it. you are free.

[sleepipipi]

Is it weird if a girl records the audio of a date that we go on without letting me know?

[hallowwww]

i wanted to get 37 but i got 6 first pull eerrm?? Wth😭

[iqmmir]

It runs in the family

[stefisdoingthings]

wings

[linddzz]

Thinking about Weird Barbie and how she's the very obviously queer outsider of the Barbie world, she straddles the lines between Barbie and the Real World. She's the most aware of the performative nature of it all. She supports Barbie while also gently mocking her panic at losing the hyperfeminine perfection. Her weird house is also home to the discontinued reject weird Barbies, the outcasts (including very gay earring Ken) who never fell into either the original matriarchy or the Kentriarchy brainwashing.

The other more classically heteronormative and beautiful Barbies both pity and fear her, and at first the narrative pities her as well. She's the vessel of girls going weird and crazy and feral on their dolls and that's amazing. Weird Barbie is aware of who she is and how the world sees her and she loves it. She's Weird Barbie and She Owns It.

[clarkgriffon]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 7x05 | “Selfless” 

[amomorii]

night terrors

[drawcupidsbow]

finally finished this Augh. the main isat cast in my style with my personal hcs! and also theyre colored :3 closeups and greyscale under the cut

[swingstep]

...If that is what you say.

[westywallowing]

he's,,, a cat

adrientte fruits basket au ;)

[torchstelechos]

I love that Isabeau is the one to bring up the "what do we do if you die" conversation cause its a very good insight to his character at the very start of the game. Isabeau is practical, smart, and loves everyone dearly and wants to know how to help them when shit goes sideways. He's the one to ask about Bonnie too, which is a delightful read on how he thinks because everyone else shuts that down instantly as a "That wont happen and cant happen" but we see later in the game it can happen which is such a startling thing for a game to do but justifies the foreshadowing of Bonnie can die what do we do if that happens? Isabeau, despite everything, is also the one who gets to the heart of the matter even if its not something must people are willing to talk about. All without it being part of his friendquest, thats just him naturally. Which! Says so much about him and how he is! His character when its not about his relationship with Siffrin is a very intriguing thing because it feels like a very classic hard intellectual stance that's been softened after many years of learning to better communicate healthily with others. A reflection, if you will, of Odile but in a very drastic direction. I find him fascinating and I also want to scoop his brains out and study them under a microscope to see all his little brain thoughts.

[shiraoyagi]

hot take ??

the only reason people say that "mafuyu and tsukasa have nothing in common" when presented with mafukasa parallels is because they equate mafuyu and tsukasa being similar to "tsukasa has depression" because the fandom equates mafuyu's personality to being depressed and nothing else.

it doesn't help that people (primarily younger people in the fandom) who DO believe in mafukasa parallels end up making the mistake of portraying tsukasa as depressed because as of right now he is not (although it's possible he was in past because of his Very Unclear Middle School Backstory but that's irrelevant)

anyways, mafuyu and tsukasa are narrative foils because their core personalities are built off of the concept of wanting to make the people around them— especially their families— happy.

they both developed personalities at a young age based on someone they looked up to. for tsukasa, it was seiichi amami's performance that inspired him to be a star— a hero that could cheer anyone up. for mafuyu, it was her mother taking care of her that inspired her to be a nurse— and you can see the similarities from there.

for mafuyu, her identity would first come into conflict when her mother expressed her want for mafuyu to be a doctor— suddenly, "everyone's" happiness didn't match what she wanted to do, leaving her in a state of disorder and eventual depression.

for tsukasa, his identity was something he nearly forgot in its entirety at the start of the main story— becoming arrogant and fully absorbed in a hero persona, forgetting the kind person he truly is. furthermore, his current character arc seems to be foreshadowing that what "being a star" to him is going to be called into question— maybe it is something more than just being the main character that saves everyone.

their insecurities are incredibly similar.

in mafuyu's first mixed, mafuyu feels insecure towards ichika because unlike ichika, she feels as if her lyrics have no genuine meaning to be expressed to other people— despite them being her very real feelings. this is brought up again in her second mixed as well.

in tsukasa's third focus event, something similar happens. when watching seiichi's performance, he thinks that his acting is "real" and feels inferior towards him, which is ironic because tsukasa has been method acting this whole time. when tsukasa is acting out rio or bartlett or really anyone at this point in the story, it's not just those characters— it's a reflection of his traumas.

just like mafuyu, tsukasa undermines his passions he's poured his feelings into because someone else's work is more genuine in his eyes.

now, then, foils have many similarities and parallels (and i could honestly list a lot more), but how i define them is that they usually have some kind of major branching difference that MAKES them foils.

for mafuyu and tsukasa it's pretty straightforward.

mafuyu's people pleasing behavior comes from external expectations and pressures— her mother's demands.

tsukasa's people pleasing behavior comes internally, from himself— if he can't meet his own standards, if he can't be the perfect big brother or the perfect star, then he is nothing.

and even then, there's some overlap.

tsukasa's behavior was indirectly encouraged by his mother praising him for being a "good big brother" over the phone instead of asking him if he was okay while home alone.

mafuyu's terrified to be herself around other people because she doesn't want to worry or bother them— she doesn't want to be a burden— and projects her mother's expectations onto them, not realizing that they would prefer the real mafuyu if they knew the truth.

and the concept of mafukasa being foils is most perfectly and blatantly portrayed in these two cards.

mafuyu, the marionette, sitting limp on the floor— puppeteered by her mother's demands and donning a mask to hide her true self.

tsukasa, the jester, standing above everything else— puppeteering silenced plushies— his feelings. he's not being completely honest with himself, and he doesn't even realize it.

mafuyu has cut her strings and ripped her mask in half. she has acknowledged her true feelings and expressed them to her mother, even if she had to run away in the end.

tsukasa has not yet cut his.

[bamsara]

was anyone going to tell me there are fanlore pages about me and my works or did i have to find that out by myself when i tried searching for one of my tumblr posts in a google search bar

edit: i just read through the solar lunacy one and some of the details on there are just kind of....wrong. lmao

edit: there's one for my iz fics??

[koipalm]

Have you experienced anything since the last time we spoke?

fanart for L'appel du vide by Xov