theuniversalwoman

[jk-unless]

I need Seasons 1-6 Spencer in a babyboy way,but Seasons 7 and beyond Spencer in a daddy way.

[zluty-spendlik]

WAKFU REDESIGN AND REWRITE SERIES – PART 1

Evangelyne

Evangelyne used to be my favorite character growing up, which kind of sucks since she’s one of the flattest characters considering how much screentime she has.

Even when I was a little kid and watched this show I found it annoying how she was constantly drooled over by the guys and these days its pretty obvious she’s a very stereotypical not-like-the-other-girls girl, created solely to be Percedal’s (the literal incarnation of the expected target audience) love interest.

SHE EVEN HAS THE WHOLE „I let my hair down and now am so much prettier“ ARC HAPPEN FRICKING TWICE IN THE SPAN OF. WHAT- 5 EPISODES???

Evangelyne is a misogynistic character on so many levels, the only Eva-centric episodes we get are either ones she needs saving in (like Vampyro or the pirate one), or when she has a love arc with Percedal (the whole Rubilaxia shtick, or the tree of Life episode).

Honestly the only bearable scenes where she shows up are those where she interacts with Amalia and even those get twisted into weird sexist tropes: Evangelyne critisizing Amalia for buying too much clothes, or overall cringing at Amalia’s „too girly“ behaviour.

Even when they have a touching conversation after freeing Amalia’s father from the Tree of Life, Amalia immediatelly brings up Percedal and fails the Bechdel test.

I won’t even touch the Cleophée (or Cleome in english) trainwreck  the writers pulled in season 2 or the whole pregnant-damsel-in-distress thing she had going on in season 3- I didn’t watch season 3 and 4 mostly because I got so mad after the misogyny happening in the first episode and I didnt want to ruin my already fragile excitement over the series.

But don’t get me wrong – Even tho Wakfu has a lot of potential for growth, I still love the series dearly, and would love to give the characters justice. It is important to note that I am not a professional writer and Im mostly doing this for my own indulgence, so please feel free to throw constructive critisism towards me.

Character rewrite

We don’t know much about Evangelyne’s backstory, or rather her story before she meets Amalia – And in my head as a kid, I always assumed she was an orphaned kid basically living on the street with Cleophée, until someone (presumably Armand, since he has a long-term crush on her and Amalia hated her at first) took pity on her and took her to the palace (once I figure out Cleophées design Ill explain what happens with her).

Fast forward a couple years, Eva is officially Amalia’s bodyguard, yadayadayada.

Important thing is, that this shapes Evangelyne’s personality and self-perception –

I have divided my potential Eva Arc into 3.5 Categories:

Self-protection and perservation

Eva knows how dangerous the world can be (streets) and how serious her job is, but she’s only seventeen. She takes her job way too seriously, in the sense that she doesnt trust anybody they meet (which is especially shown when they meet the Tofu gang). She doesn’t want anyone but Amalia close and deep down, she’s scared of other people.

She is horrible at teamwork, which only frustrates her and everyone around her. She fails to see the affection Amalia has for her, because her entire self is just a bodyguard.

She doesn’t know who she is without that.

Depression

Dally’s sacrifce absolutely traumatizes Eva, both in the canon and my version. It doesnt need to be seen as romantic tho (we’ll get to that). On top of that AMALIA BRIEFLY DIES AND COMES BACK. Can you HEAR Evangelyne’s entire purpose crumbling down?

In her head, two people just died because of her.

Besides, Percedal sacrifices himself because he cares for her. Not as a „coworker“ or a teammate, but as a friend and Evangelyne cannot fathom that sort of service and relationship.

And even though she failed, her friends are there to support her.  Eva learns compassion.

Self-destruction

However, she now feels she has to „make up“ for her lack of compassion and her failings as a bodyguard. Long story short, she completely flips to the other extreme, basically throwing herself in any sort of danger to protect her friends  (hence when she hears Dally, she immediatelly goes to Rubilaxia). In the show this is less extreme but portrayed as her real and true personality: more reckless and adventureous – but i think the writers just wanted Eva to finally have something in common with Dally (which, btw, uncool), but I’d like this to be portrayed as a bad thing.

Eva fails to see that she’s hurting herself and fails to recognize herself as a person rather than basically a human shield. This arc climaxes in the Cleophée episode and Eva learns that compassion is not transactional, or something to be earned.

Her true self

Evangelyne's final form! We dont know much about Eva's hobbies other than her job and fighting skills, HOWEVER Dally mentions Eva taught him tracking at one point and tbh Evangelyne being a ranger or just studying nature fits her pretty well imo! She is also canonically artistic (as confirmed by the journal she keeps).

I take issue with Evangelyne always being seen as the “mom of the group”. Yes, she's smart and responsible and caring, but that's her job, she's an older sister, less of a mother figure and more of an equal to the others in the gang.

Design

In s1, Id like her to wear a lot of armour with chainmail directly on her skin (haha get it because trust issues), and with a mostly green colour palette, cause, Sadida kingdom yk.

In her s2 look, she throws away most of her armour and self perservation instincts and since her personality completely flips, so does her colour palette - red! The first aid kit is gone and she wears an ascot now (a torn bit from Dally's cape lol).

And finally, i made her a furry I gave her some gadget shoes from Cleophée, helping her move faster, I put some of the armour back and made her hair longer. Her colour palette now consists not only green, but also the "Yugo blue", which i plan on incorporating in everyone's final design :D

AND FINALLY, AN ART DUMP

[habizuh-studios]

me gushing about tgcf for... idek-

Haha, don't ask why i'm making this post when I'm basically dead, BUT- TGCF is honestly was got me into the danmei fandom. Two of my friends were gushing about it so in order to not feel left out i watched the donghua and it was the BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE not only because the donghua was actually so beautifully animated and the story was so captivating, but also because i watched it in dub and got to see howard wang. Which was great, obviously. unfortunately, i spoiled a LOT. And i mean A LOT of stuff after finishing season 1. I spoiled the ghost city arc, the 800 year wait, and some of Xie Lian's trauma before even starting season 2. And i didn't even have to wait that long for it- some people were waiting over 2 years!! which is crazy to me. The character designs are so intricate and beautiful in all mediums, including the audio drama (which is actually my favorite art out of all of 'em), which HOW?!??!?!? ITS AN AUDIO DRAMA?!?!??! i ended up buying all the books, despite spoiling myself a TON. And i don't regret it at all- i even convinced myself (not really myself, but my dead bank account) to buy the special edition of TGCF!! The official art is gorgeous, the pop-up is gorgeous, the books\ mark is gorgeous, and- despite all the spoilers, after i got used to the writing style it was honestly A BLAST. I finished all the books in less than 2 weeks. I stayed up late reading them- and my favorite part was finishing a book so i could jump to the next one. And my greatest surprise was i didn't even spoil ALL of it to myself! The instigator of the war between xianle and yong'an (if ykyk, hint: family) was such a surprise to me i had to put the book down for a good second before reading it again! xie lians occasional sassiness was honestly really in character, but still a surprise. I have seen some who didnt like tgcf because of the character arcs and hualian- which is fine, but as long as you have the right expectations going into the book, you will not be disappointed. Xie Lian is honestly my favorite. Sue me for being basic, but i love him. Even before knowing all the trauma, i loved him. (Followed closely are Ruoye and Feng Xin, so i guess you can guess my type which i immediately attach to, haha) anyway, in case you weren't looking for my life story, then here: watch the donghua of tgcf, then read all the books, no spoilers. Trust me. Spoilers ruined some of the emotional moments for me yet i still felt empathy for all the characters, which is kind of hard to do. (it hurts, dream on, there is no banquet that does not come to an end). then consume the fan content. Literally all of it. We are the most blessed fandom in history. You may look up some things to expect for tgcf, because i believe the theme is actually quite different from mxtx's other works! I still love wwx tho ;) ----- PS: I also love the parallels. I'll talk about one since this post is so long already, but here- I absolutely love the quotes. A lot of times, popular quotes are remembered when Hua Cheng is saying them, but when you read the books, you realize he's just parroting what xie lian has said... im biased and this isnt for everyone, and obviously his tone and context are wayy different + he has great quotes on his own- but I think it shows his love for him. or maybe i just love Xie Lian, haha.

[rattotheimperialcheesegod]

I wanna rant about my opinions on certain characters and aphmaus own character (mainly the cast of the "smp") this may be garbled since im just going off whats on my mind rn

SMP and OG series talk

Now Im not the biggest fan of mystreet, but im not a hater, i think its og first three seasons are fine (third seasons plot was straight ass through) but after season 4 and all the multiverse and mcd and mystreet worlds are in the same timeline thing, kinda made things werid

(especially with season 4 oh my god wtf was that)

But now that i see how those characters are used now.....for fucking cocomau content...

...I can't really give mystreet shit cause its cast was sent right into kid sensory video hell or just hell since a lot of characters didn't end up in the cocomau smp unless it was highschool themed videos (RIP katelyn and travis, forever in highschool puragatory dimension)

But those who were spared from the waste bin were cursed with a experience worse than death

Character Regression and Character Assassination

The entire cast of the aphmau smp (and one video returning characters too) all have their worst traits put to eleven or are at their most basic traits of the trope of their character where they are competely soul-less or lose past development in their character as a whole

(or your pierce, and you get a competely different personality from the og series you were from)

Now the reason why everyone is like this is of course (kids channel now) and (everyones supposed to be in a server and are irl ppl now)

But...when i said characters have their worst traits put up to eleven, is for one reason

Its so aphmau and aarons actions look better in comparisson, since shes the all perfect main character that does no wrong and is so nice to everyone and...aaron is basically the mvp of the smp, best fighter, builder, and "hottest guy" on the server and is the mysterous loner or some shit.

(Fact I hate these two so fucking much)

littary aphmau is the most overdramatic marysue bitch ive ever seen when it comes to reasons why she has the right to go apeshit on her friends and i could bring up several videos, i really could, its not hard

noteablely, the many times she has decided to just kill her best friends or ruin her friends lives out of petty reasons and childish reasons none the less, and god this girl just loves getting pissy when someone does the exact thing she did to another, since only she can steal others stuff or blow up their house, or be overpowered to a point where shes just cheating.

But oh my god, jessica you know how to make me hate all the rest of your bitches too!

(besides noi, kim and pierce, they are perfect to me, noi is on thin ice tho)

KC, Zane, Ein and Aaron are on my list of bitches I wouldnt hesitate to fucking kill on sight if i saw their color coded asses spawn into a ACTUAL minecraft server. (ill get to that color coding thing too btw)

The Asshole and The Clown

Now fuck where do i begin with these four, like all of them over the past three to four years has become the most annoying and aggrevating characters

But, just so I don't pull someones nerve with the true "fan" favorites, Aaron, the jerrysue of the smp and basically her perfect half cause hes jusr her but as a man, he's a jackass that is never called out for his asshole behavior like every other male character is, hes always put as being smarter, better, stronger, and more attractive than any of the other guys too, basically being the best alpha male ever to exist....but not really, not even a single bit

I swear this is the worst verison of aaron ive ever seen in my life, the biggest try hard ive ever seen, all the girls wanna date him, always gloating when theres someone around he believes hes better than, and god he is not nice to others who arent good at building like him. Honestly, MAN ISNT NICE AT ALL!! like only time he is nice is of course to the purple stain that is his irl wife, like the times this guy was just violent for no reason, insulting or just aggrevated around anyone was just making me feel like...

aaron do you even like any of these people??, cause ive seen every way he talks to all of the cast and he sounds like he wants them all gone and dead so he can just be all cutesy and shy around aphmau, like dude if you think all of them are annoying, dont live near by them?????

(Now, ive mentioned both the channel mascot couple of the smp, but heres the thing, when i said the other characters make these two look like angels, i mean it)

Now we are actually really digging, and we didnt even need to go far, we've already struct gold!...but theres not much...

Ein, the worst villian and most pathetic man to ever live.

What a time, season 4 of mystreet! and we got the biggest clown with the biggest alpha complex to ever exist! and the evolution of a creep in werewolves as a whole....it was fucking werid

Anyway, now smp ein is a true irl villian, hes no longer just a anime incel, hes a fucking sexist gamer incel also!

Now, Ein really isnt too interesting (wow what a surprise) really hes one of the characters who has been put to his most basic traits making him extra annoying, extra obessed with power and, of course still be madly in love with aphmau but if it wasnt known, aphmau changed alittle bit of eins lore, making him no longer related to her (only in the smp cannon tho💀) which is a good thing! but its only a change that was made for horrible reasons, being that she still needs him to be aarons rival and as i said before, be aphmaus possible second "choice", which is...normal for aphmau honestly....

(Aphmau can't have a single man on this server just not be into her, even if the guy clearly has a love interest thats not her)

Strangely though she really likes to romantically pair Ein with everyone, even men, so at least we know she still has that problem with her ocs...

Hes like her little lab rat and i hate her so so much, but fuck its hard to feel bad for him since this women will than have this man be the worlds second most grossiest sexist incel you could ever come across

wait did I say second--

Zane ro'meave and his several counts of "GET A JOB, STAY AWAY FROM HER"

(mystreet zane is fine, mcd zane is the perfect kinda villain for what mcd was, and smp zane is hell on earth, the end)--

Zane in the aphmau smp is kinda...a jumpscare in a half since you never know when hes gonna switch, cause...he has the biggest habit of either, being the biggest smartass in the room or the scariest "my lady" ass incel you could ever fucking dream apon, just every bit of his charm from mystreet that made you kinda push aside the slight every now and than werid behavior he had, its just GONE

absolutely vanished! and yknow what

I hate zane, i hate him more than i hate anyone in this damn cast, im the biggest zane hater you will ever meet, and the reason for it is cause this verison of zane is the dark universe of if zane never grew from the FIRST season of mystreet, never got humbled or anything, and also if he still acted like a hormone filled highschooler whenever any women even looked his fucking way.

Hes a creep, hes a incel, hes still sexist and overprotective of his only female friend, but now even wants to date her just to have more control over who she can't and can speak to (code for, no guy friends allowed/no aaron, bo womp) and if he isnt doing that, hes drooling and creepily mumbling to himself about the pink cat girl he has a massive crush on.

Honestly worst part of it is that he acts like this outta nowhere, and even worse, recently theres been this obession with him NEEDING KC's diary, wanting to know every single little thing about her so he knows how to woe her and even see if she likes him, which is just...

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM???!!!??

APHMAU WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM BE LIKE THIS??!!??

(and hes not even punished for it, like maybe kc telling him that hes creepy or smth, nothing, just nothing, proubly cause recently they have been competely implied to be dating now)

but, its not like miss kc is perfect, oh boy, kc is...

The two sided bitch and her jealously and spite of her "perfect" best friend + shipping

Oh KC, when i first started watching all this cocomau trash, you were boring as hell, just a cute cat girl who likes to bake and be pretty, and just another yes man for that purple cunt, but ever since you started being a cunt yourself, you have only been a pain to watch and listen to, you have only made me hate you and your little lap dog of a boyfriend even more honey

So KC, our resident cute cat girl isnt really all that cute of recent, she slowly becoming more spiteful, having anger issues, being more whiney, bratty, jealous, and unloyal to her partner, creating the most toxic couple in the entire smp verse

(but this was something that was gonna happen at some point, aarmau has to stay as the perfect ship, couple goals yknow, so zane x kc has be anti-aarmau, toxic behavior all around)

Now KC is a unloyal and horrible partner for a few reasons, shes a massive hypocrite and sadly abusive.

1. She gets mad at Zane for even speaking to other girls, or even seemingly flirting with them, specifically any of the marry, date, kill videos with both of them in it can be a big example of this behavior.

But than when we look the other way to her, she gets to playfully talk, compliment and flirt with any guy she wants, and gets all angry when shes stopped from doing it, also she only does this with aaron btw, since shes jealous of aphmau having "the hottest, coolest, and sweetest guy in the server" for a boyfriend.

(aaron is littary none of those things and just pointing out more to how aaron is a jerrysue)

2. KC IS SO FUCKING VIOLENT WITH ZANE OH MY GOD, i guess aphmau still thinks when a women hits or beats up her male partner, its her being in the right or it being super duper funny and wacky!

(this entire short is an example of that)

But I will say though, it isnt just KC, their a toxic couple cause their both terrible partners, zane is equally just as hypocritical and unloyal, but hes a lot more oppessive and even more jealous prone,

(kim is usually a victim of being between the two but fr fr, kim genuinely hates zanes, aphmau just keeps making more drama for no reason and really wants ppl to also ship kim x zane, which....when it comes to everyones opinion of mystreet kim and ghost existing and everything with season 4....it is never gonna fucking happen you dumb purple cunt)

My Inner Demons-Character regression and personality switches (a short one)

Now that we are off those characters, lets end this off with our favorite little daemos!

Noi and Pierce!

Now, im a advid lover of my inner demons, its the last of aphmaus good content before the purge and its sadly the best of her writing, but the fact that she put them in the smp is a red flag, and i instantly noticed things...

...Pierce is a silly himbo goofball now that has a brain the size of a pea, and who loves sheep

and

Noi is the most basic sweet little good boy, does no wrong little guy, baking cooking and eating pizza

(now im not mad about this, since i got to know the smp verisons of them before their og selfelves)

but fuck i prefur when noi had depth and was genuinely mean and kinda rude on purpose.

im mixed with pierce tho cause i like both verisons of him, i think both verisons of him are neat, his va has good range, respect that

The End

Well thats all i gotta say, ratto out and about

[classicbarbie]

umbrella academy spoilers below lol bc i just finished the last season and i need to vent

Im so conflicted about ep 5, bc i get it, they were all alone for 7 years, it took them 6 years before they even did anything, and it's like, 'would i date you if we were the last two people left on earth'. And from that perspective, hypothetically, yes, I can see it, bc Lila and Five make such a good pair of partners. But that wasn't the case bc they weren't the only two people left, they were just stuck in the wrong place with Lila's very real and alive three kids and HUSBAND waiting-

And despite that the whole reason Lila and Five's dynamic was so, so good and fun was because they were purely partners in crime fighting and shenanigans (besties).

( Also as an aroace, @ the writers why would you take this perfectly platonic good platonic hetero platonic friendship from my hands and ruin it )

It could've been anyone else. It could've been literally ANYONE else. Lila would never cheat on Diego lets bffr (also the way they had both Lila and Five treat Diego like he's completely inept this season was FOUL. Okay. I didn't care until ep 5. But to leave him out and then get together?? :D ? Wild.)

But the thing is, I really liked that little plot for Five. The guy has been begging for retirement the last 3 seasons. At least everyone else got to settle down, have families and recuperate after the first apocalypse. Meanwhile Five was jumping from the end of one apocalypse to stopping the next one, okay. He deserves to sit down in a strawberry greenhouse and live a domestic life with a real person (sorry dolores). But why did it have to be Lila 😭

I don't get why he would hide the book from her, I don't think that Five has ever been that selfish. But I understand why he wouldn't want to leave, because what if the apocalypse has already happened and it's another barren wasteland and everyone's dead and he's all alone again. I understand him needing that security for himself and not wanting to go through it again.

(Also Lila couldn't handle the suburban life with Diego, how is a strawberry greenhouse life any better)

Side note, I thought the plot twist was going to be that Five always knew everything all along (no way he would've missed that his boss was a keeper) but that's a different topic.

[land-of-holly]

Rings of Power Season 2 Episode 8 Liveblog

hmm I thought the title would be more...striking? it's a nothing title

whar weird tortures is durin gonna do to his dad?

now thats the kinda kissing i like to see

bla bla balrog

more yelling? more threats?

wait i thought he was almost dead. what they came down here just to let him dig more?

im sure if i knew anything about caves this would be very annoying

durin jr isnt fooled

surprise me i beg u

i don't buy that this is what breaks King Durin free of the ring. Doesn't feel earned

balrog looks cool ig

and now it goes away for another few k years?

have we seen eye iconography before? not surprised that evil throne guy would yoink it

blue wizard reveal??

wow this guy is quick to trash talk his allies

'pity will not defeat sauron' okay it sounds heavy handed TO ME but I didn't say I hated it

this whole plotline feels like it's building to a climax it didn't earn

like we're just getting to know evil wizard guy and he feels very generic villain

the stranger finally has good power control tho

so they're gonna execute all those faithful guys yah? or this is an engagement announcement?

So he's maneuvering them to move against sauron now? YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST MADE TWO MORE EPISODES

do like the white tree imagery

where...are they? restaurant or sm I guess

girl u are gonna have to pick a side too

ANARION MENTION Did anyone not already in the know remember he exisited?

such a pretty dress

narsil!

so do the orcs have an ordered objective besides sack the city?

DON'T GIVE HIM MORE RINGS GIRL WTF

annatar no

HE'S STILL DOING IT STILL WITH THE LIES

the torture!

celebrimbor you're such an elf

NOT THE SHORES OF THE MORNING CELEBRIMBOR THE SHORES YOU WANT ARE IN THE OTHER FUCKING DIRECTION

torture extending life preservation tech confirmed

put that spear down or so help me

banner we've done it fam

the lord of the rings... okay, I CANNOT not let them have this

sauron's "...oopsie i killed him" face is fuckin hilarious

hi glug!

love that sauron never answers to 'sauron' it's always 'i hAVe MaNy NaMeS"

if this is all we get of the bannerage i'll be content but i'm getting the impression this is only the beginning

idk if we've gotten a wide shot of pelargir before i like the huts among ruins look

my boy theo

he is asking for help with his grief! progress!

did u hug arondir like that b4 he left??

nah man that's estrid

her whole deal can't be a romantic red herring

girl you have known him for like a few days stop this like i'm happy for you two but

y'all they tell stories about kings who marry low men they end badly

kemen what the fuck are you doing here

wow kemen's face went on an entire world tour there when he saw isildur

omg he is so bad at this slimy courtier stuff

everyone say yay berek!

isildur tell him

NOT THE HORSE KEMEN ARE YOU TRYING TO INCREASE YOUR DISAPPROVAL RATING TO 100%

the deforestation!

galadriel i stg how do you keep getting kidnapped.

..adar what happened to you

i cannot believe y'all who were predicting elf adar were correct. i hate this but not in a 'this was a bad writing decision' way ya feel?

adar is no one in particular confirmed?

why is he giving he the ring? does he really intent to treat in good faith?

galadriel is that true about your kill count

forgiveness again

i want normal adar back. i don't care if it makes sense

how often  do orcs tend their injured normally?

betrayal!

oh heck

its him

i think adar always wanted to die this way one day

damn girl maybe if the foley guys didnt make ur sword so noisy you coulda snuck up on him

crown of morgoth makes a hell of an offhand weapon

they can't even give gilgalad non boring lines

ARONDIR

nonzero chance sauron would want to keep all the lore of eregion but probably considers the destruction of eregion worth it

did not expect sauron to be the one going over that edge

OH NO HIS ULTIMATE WEAPON his pretty pretty face

spooky i like it

shapeshifer fight!

'the door is still open' obvious setup but i'll give it to them it was thematically appropriate

...i guess the difference is the fight for the 9 he was destined to win

DURIN!

narvi at least!

there'a no ocean there girl if you don't survive that fall he's just gonna go get it

she didn't even make it to khazad dum

damn glug pays the price of treachery

celeborn come get ya girl

oh hey arondir

totally believeable the crown of morgoth would do that to a wound. still don't like it. seems contrived.

get it elrond

damn nori looks so sad that her friends got their homes smashed

Mr. Burrows was wise. Sometimes acceptance is the only way to move forward

so is nori going with the stoors or home?

uah uah ya got yer stick

props overall to tom being a recurring caracter this season

thank you for explaining it all for us stick guy

shut up about his name

now you're just flexing with the singing

i can't fault durin having an unknown brother after the anarion business

the lighting in rivendell is very pretty

they didn't even say where they were, I admire their restraint.

Definitely bit of a hammock season, but a very good one overall. I felt like this should have been episode 9 and they DESPERATELY needed an episode before to bring everything up to finale time.  The final confrontation with sauron should have been maybe 50% less swordfightey and more mindfuckey. Overall a decent ending though!

[i-am-a-hog]

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#5

I'm sick so i might not get around to writing it but: Stede gently touching Ed's cluster of dozens of stab wounds, slightly horrified but also in awe, meanwhile Ed is dying bc 'he's touching me he's touching me he's touch-'

281 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 20. März 2022

#4

My god, I didn't realise, on my first watching of black sails, that after the storm, when it's a big plot point that Silver refuses his rations, there's the shot of Flint crying and then it pans over to the desk, showing his OWN Untouched Rations. The lengths this man goes to in order to achieve his ends, while at the same time beating himself up over it...

Silver realised that Flint was terrified of being a villain, but 1. He didn't think Flint would actually shoot two men point blank, and 2. Even though he knows it's eating Flint up that he's seen like that, Flint manages to fool even the one person that mostly sees through him into thinking he actually put himself into that part of the crew that gets and consumes rations.

But Flint and Silver are so much the same, they both refuse the rations, and while Silver's get saved and redistributed among the other rations, Flint's are On His Desk! Taken for the sake of appearances, yet entirely untouched because of Flint's unwavering fucking sense of righteousness.

He is letting those rations go to waste because to him, that is the lesser of two evils, where the greater evil would be indulging where others are suffering because that would put him on the same level as their oppressors. And while he's willing to appear that way, he would literally rather die than to actually Be like that.

379 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 2. Juni 2022

#3

Parallels that make me lose my goddamn mind:

Stede and his crew's arts and crafts project to make a flag and start their life as pirates.

Stede and his kids' arts and crafts project, tearing apart an outfit to end his life on land.

457 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 28. März 2022

#2

The thing that really gets me is that Stede is already doubting stuff way before Chauncey gives him that one final push. Throughout ep9, he asks if Ed is sure about this and he is noticeably distraught at Ed's clean shaven face.

It comes to a head during their whole conversation over folding socks, when Ed is so uncharacteristically (in Stede's eyes) domestic and gentle, and that results in Stede running away, and then the Kiss and Stede isn't just inexperienced and insecure, but also Plagued By "Fuck, did i ruin him? What have I done?" because Izzy had 'warned' him and these things make Stede believe it:

Stede believes he ruins every semblance of family he has, since he is plagued by guilt over abandoning his wife and kids throughout the season.

Stede got to know (and used to) Ed in his discontent and agitated state, that gradually settled, as Ed fell in love and started to like himself better: only Stede believes the former to be the 'real Blackbeard', as supported by Izzy.

Ed losing his beard, an attribute so heavily exploited in his general image, so mythologised and in turn so revered by Stede in his looking up to Ed, shocks Stede so much because to him it physically manifests his fears - that he ruined Blackbeard.

And then, Chauncey says those exact words to his face. Of course he didn't doubt them. He already believed them before.

1.607 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 11. April 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Boat media is about isolation and self imposed order, and all it takes to uphold that order. Boat media goes: what if there was a model of society On This Vessel, and there were Rituals to make sure it functions.

2.373 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 1. April 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[brittlebonesguy]

time for season 8

NOOOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! lex is BACK???????? what, to haunt me? i thought i wouldnever see him again. and fucking TOM>??sexist, pervert tom? this has ruined my day. at least i know thisis the season boston rob meets his wife (amber) so that'll be fun at least. but i have a feeling this season is a stinker. ohgod and that "i'll do anything for you just to look at me" rob from the amazon season. kill me. "no body trusts anybody" boston rob says with his soon to be wife standing 2 feet away. i'm really only rooting for rupert. maybe amber, we'll see. sue you're gonna get brain parasites please. alicia is so right though, its day two who made amber and rob be in charge, richard is obnoxious shii ann say it louder! i want a season long combat between shii ann and richard, that would be funny. colby's face dropping the moment he sees jerri lol. he knows shes gonna hit on him again come merge. bye tina! sad it was you and not ethan

colby.....what does him being gay have to do with it. oh big tom how i loathe you. i actually don't want rudy voted out thanks. damn. okay bye old man. now that shii ann isnt surrounded by the worst filth possible i am liking her more. richard is crazy what was that? biting a shark back? i don't even care if sue is annoying. an enemy of tom is a friend of mine. sue, you are the love of my life. never leave. amazon rob really is just so pathetic. ah yes the classic jerri fight where she says the other person is controlling while also being controlling. she makes points but girl please. yes shii ann colby and lex are incredibly sexist and honestly please never speak to them again.

jenna we're doing this again? why did you come back. this whole thing of her leaving is so dramatic. of course tom would think that amazon rob is smarter than alicia... come on......NO ONE wants tom out? be serious. anyway bye amazon rob

this is colby's worst nightmare: jerri getting put on the same tribe as him. richard being naked on the balance beam think was.....definitely something and definitely gross. fuck YES boston rob winning against the show off with colby. jokes on you robby, i never though colby was tough. i agree that richard should go, however i feel like colby's motivation is homophobic, so actually i think he should stay. yes jerri, reject that alliance/vote. i love this shii ann and kathy alliance. FUCK YES bring jerry in the mix. richard, shii ann, kathy, and jerri? never thought i'd say this but dream alliance right there. kathy.....kathy please....don't ruin this for me. BOOOOOOOOO!!!!! i still have to deal with COLBY????? fuck you guys for getting my hopes up

yeah obviously doing a blinsdside would result in upset feelings kathy but sometimes you need to do them anyway. annoying. who gives a FUCK about LEX???? i forgot about how bug boston rob's ego is. i want shii ann to have a villian arc, and her origin story was colby making a snide comment at her. for sue's sake im glad richards gone because it was really fucked up. the victim blaming that happens with this show is crazy. i'm glad alicia is on her side. yeah im sure you're not sitting back because you suck or anything, ethan. lex they girls already had no compulsion to keep ethan and colby around, please stop patting yourself on the back. everyone being too callous about the whole situation is crazy. i agee with jenna in the splitting of the food. i take back everything i said, fuck kathy. its just the amount of "oh i know the guy and he would NEVER" blah blah.... and im sorry if something violates and humiliates you that much, then sometimes emotions come out, kathy. and its not pretty because its not suppose to be.

idk the jerri hate isn't sitting right with me... oh yay kathy got chosen to be safe...joy🙄. ethan's "some of us are heros and some of us are goats...and i'm a goat" has a completely different meaning now. colby not be annoying challenge failed. the way every cell, fiber, sinew, ligament, joint, nerve, and bone in my body LOATHES tom...if i have to see one more quirky music scene of him acting like a fucking idiot im beating jeff probst with my bare hands. actually lex there was an opportunity to get colby out last tribal, but that was jerri's idea so obvi we'll pretend that didn't happen because a woman came up with the idea. i love how petty jerri is. and yeah shii ann really should set aside her hatred for jerri and get out colby, which she won't because why would she make a move ever. she always talks about doing it but in the end she's just a floater. ethan is so dramatic no one gives a shit. "im sorry jerri to speak for you" "yeah please don't" that...is so funny. THE EVIL IS DEFEATED!!! fuck off colby NEVER come back. thank you shii ann, i take back what i said before and i hope you kick ass the rest of the season. also in defense of jerri, i have actually come around on her. she was right about the jerky, she was right about getting colby out. shes just RIGHT, not the most likable and a little annoying, but men get away with that shit all the time. case in point: ethan.

the men on the other tribe being so mad every time they lose to boston rob is so funny. idk....people making fun of rupert makes me sad. rupert's opinions about boston rob are so correct. i agree. serves boston rob right to miss horribly at the challenge. jerri don't feel too bad no one would have made those shots anyway. sometimes ethan is just so serial killer, i can see why him and lex are friends. why do the women of survivor always do this. they just trust mean implicitly. it makes no sense. "i just trust him, i don't know how to explain it" 🙄 bye ethan!! dont come back. i'm really liking shii ann as well. she's setting aside her personal opinions and seeing the bigger picture, which a lot of players don't do.

the ghandia slide of that book thing......distasteful. and now lex wolf whistling about a woman he doesn't even know. okay i know amber wins this season so im interested to see how she makes it out of this. because no way lex is like oh for sure rob i'll save your gf for a MAYBE alliance. again with this jerri hate. why can't we just vote out lex? i'm also SO SICK of lex being "in charge" and then telling people that thye're being voted out instead of just doing a blind side like hes the godfather or smth. i'll miss you jerri. why on earth does everyone think boston rob will keep his word? he literally doesn't. .......i hate tom. it's always rupert and the girlies. he refuses to play survivor unless he's got two women by his side. i wish men weren't the way they are tho.

exactly lex of course rob was gonna go back on his word. kathy......wtf. don't do that idiot. HA. thanks kathyyyyy. THE OTHER EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED!!!! as much as i hate him, i think lex is gonna make a funny juror.

god YES please get out big tom. ......cool rob is safe...😒 that foot shot of alicia was FOUL like back the fuck up. danm kath, i wish that worked out. shii ann is definitely going next. pagonging in an all stars season is so weak. please stir it up shii ann. i hope she gets immunity because.....its getting less interesting. when its just a majority alliance taking over and then going cannibal. i hope this challenge is a wake up call for alicia. and also i relate to her. i too would be emotional. jenna.....is annoying me. oh what a shock you're gonan give shii ann the bowl of rice, as if i didn't call that. rob is also really getting on my nerves. oh? only shii ann is obnoxious jenna? just herno one else here? miss oh im soooooo sorry alicia let me hug you even though we aren't friends and you don't want to be touched or talked to. alicia.....please just betray rob. fuck YES! shii ann got her first immunity. serves the tribe right for ousting her the way they are. its so rude. and the fact that not a single person will talk to her about game play at all is strange and telling. even though straying away from rob and aligning with shii ann is the better option for literally everyone but amber. "don't get too cocky sweetheart." honestly all of you can go fuck yourselves. 👆🏻you've been telling shii ann for days that shes leaving the first chance you guys get and are shocked when she doesn't really like you guys and tries like hell to win immunity, which everyone said "i'd be SHOCKED if she won that" assholes. she was gloating, alicia, because you guys say that she can't win anything and also SHE WAS GOING HOME TONIGHT. like....use your fucking brain. wow very original getting rid of alicia. can rob just leave already.

rupert didn't care about you not catching to fish jenna, he's upset because no one helped him gut and clean them, which all 120lbs of you could have handled. i will miss you shii ann. truly. and the truck curse still prevails. i......do not know how amber wins. and rob wins again 🙄. this game play.. consider me....bored. YYYYYYEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!! the final evil has been defeated. go fuck yourself tom if you EVER come back im personally castrating jeff probst.

jenna saying that she's taking fate into her hands by voting out rupert so they don't go to rocks when her literal only two options are vote the way shes being told or go to rocks. ........ i dislike you. oh rupert i wish you had won that immunity 🫤. jenna acting like she's gonna go to rocks....like we all know you're gonna write ruperts name and go to final three (which is as far as you'll go btw). thanks for nothing jenna. no closer to a million than if you actually let it up to chance. and the final immunity goes to rob😐. this romance is so barf. kathy.....that was brutal. i hope rob feels awful after that. "since you're so interchangeable" jenna pleasekjadkjasnkjsbf. tom just sounds fucking drunk all the time. they were absolutely ruthless. rob and amber look SO upset about it too.

cbs is just letting their star host hang out of a helicopter with harness? bold. rob dominated jeff 🤨. okay then. congrats amber! i don't care for your husband. the "you suck" in the audience while lex was talking was me actually. the booing for jerri is a little much jesus. and yet colby gets nothing but cheers? i know sexism when i see it. no seriously lex is being the biggest hypocrite there is. assholes. all the booing made jerri leave. justice for my girl. JENNA AND ETHAN??? girl.....say sike. youre dating him??????? oh so they get to go on a cruise after being voted off huh? thats pretty nice. the audience voting for another winner and i think kathy saying "its rupert!" very true. colby is a contender? 😐that the fuck were some of those sexiest survivors? ROBB??? the man who just finally understood what empathy was? the fuck. AND TOM IS A CONTENDER FOR THE MONEY???? thankfully rupert won because i would have flipped if it was any of the others. all in all this season was kind of disappointing considering it was all stars. it had its juicy moments but it got bogged down by all the people i don't like so I'm gonna give it....5.8 out of 10

[enderwoah]

ORIGINS SMP HEADCANONS (because i love them): SEASON TWO EDITION BAYBEEE

(this is really long ENJOY :gun:)

tommy

he is phil's son smile

phil's most recent son at least

he's got like one more somewhere

he picked this one up off the dangerous streets a few years ago and he's been sticking with phil ever since

his wings are small- not too small to fly, but they're untrained to the point where it would take a lot or work to get him off the ground

but at first, he didn't really seem to want to learn all that much?

(he has three scars on his face- all from trying to learn how to fly when he was younger)

(he gave up after the third one)

("if at first you don't succeed; try, try again" is his motto, and he tried all three times)

but!! phil and wilbur are very persuasive :) and now that he knows he can fly, he's not going to rest until he does

he's a little manipulative to get what he wants sometimes, but can you blame someone that lived on the street for so long?

he had to do that to survive! it's not his fault.

(it's a great excuse.)

he laughs like a kookaburra amen

he squawks when he gets scared

he chirps. he tries not to because it makes phil go absolutely bird-brained but he does sometimes and he hates it.

tubbo

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A B[GUNSHOTS]

god he is. so fucking annoying (/rp)

he simply does not know when to stop

he ignores social cues to see when someone is annoyed

(see: he can read social cues. he does read social cues. when you get annoyed that's when he starts being more annoying, because you're more likely to give him what he wants to get him to shut the fuck up.)

he loves talking to (at) people, especially people he doesn't really know that well

so he's trying to be friends with ranboo, but the absolute prick keeps trying to avoid any actual conversations, so that's not working

he buzzes when he gets excited-happy

his fingertips are completely blackened and horrendously sharp, functioning as ten individual stingers

they don't do any actual damage but he's working on that

techno

wither hybrid (??)

how can you be a wither hybrid?? nobody got down and dirty with the wither

he's an experiment

the reason we haven't seen him yet? he's staying away from the main area of the smp

he doesn't want to ruin its natural beauty with his withering effect, so he keeps to himself on the outskirts of the smp

which sucks

withers get health from killing things

he's not fully a wither, so he gets energy from being around people and sort of draining their life force a little bit

he feels terrible when he's with just one person because they are Literally his life support and it makes the person feel like shit

when he's with a big group of people its great!! he only has to take a little bit from everyone and its barely noticable!!

but then there's the wither part. so he has to stay away.

he's always tired

always exhausted

he's a farmer, so taking it from animals works, but god does he miss people

but he can only visit a few times and for very short

(he's afraid that one of these days he'll get so bad that the next time he sees someone he'll accidentally kill them)

(it already happened once. he's blessed that he's been forgiven, even made friends with by the victims, but he doubts he'll be able to pull that off again with no consequences like last time)

wilbur

phantlings are dead elytrians, and given that wilbur was phil's son...he's a phantling

he died in the late 50s and was a librarian when he was alive, so he's very possessive (ha) over all of his things

you should never ask to "borrow" anything from him, he will hound you about it until you give it back

it's best to just say that you want something from him to keep

even if youre going to give it back

just for your own peace of mind

phantlings can feel fear and get a genuine feeling of elation from scaring people

of course, sometimes its unwelcome (feeling large amounts of fear from someone they care about in a bad way just makes them pissed)

but for the most part, wilbur loves appearing in the corner of people's visions just to jumpscare them a few minutes later

all in good fun, of course!! it's just hilarious :)

being the lighthearted, fun guy he is, he's not particularly secretive about his method of death

"how did i die? well, it all started -- ended -- on november 16th, 1958!"

"i walked out of the library late, since i took the shift for my wife since she was feeling sick and i worked there anyways,"

"the streets were dark and only lit up by gaslamps...and out of an alley...appeared..........."

techno.

he didn't mean it. wilbur isn't at all mad at him (anymore)

he was starving. he didn't know that one touch would be enough to fully revitalize him...

and murder wilbur where he stood.

sneeg

has details on everyone on the server

you Cannot Hide Shit From Sneeg

its impossible

if you find of his any shittly little mouse holes then you're doomed

you find one and there are twenty more

he's under your floorboards while you're having your important discussion about trapping the nether roof

sucks to suck ig??

he seems to be the favourite of many, which is weird since he rarely goes out of his way to actually talk to many people

he's the only person that tubbo doesn't actively try to annoy (or maybe he just doesn't find tubbo's antics all that annoying)

he's the only person that ranboo stays around (or maybe he stays around ranboo- he and Phil seem to be the only ones not off-put by his slightly sadistic and whiny demeanour (not counting tubbo, who annoys him anyways)

phil seems to be more protective of him than he thinks is normal (he lets sneeg ride on his shoulder while travelling, so he doesn't really complain)

niki is completely protective over him (again, not complaining)

contrary to popular believe, he does not get high from sugar

if anything he gets

high-per

(get it)

(high-per)

(hyper)

he's literally just a nine-year old getting a sugar rush leave him alone

phil

take the normal "bird-brain" headcanons and multiply it by like sixty-four

and you've got origins phil

he can't see glass- or, rather, he can, but it doesn't register that 'hey, this is a solid surface i am going to slam into'

its very funny for everyone else but he's pretty sure he has permanent brain damage from the blunt force trauma

if there is ANYONE on the server who dares to chirp, bird or no, they must understand that they are signing away their privacy and giving phil the right to go absolutely bonkers over them momma bird style

(shoutout to tommy, wilbur, ranboo, and fundy for having to suffer through this)

"oh??? you don't have wings?? you don't have feathers?? omg?? then what's this im preening?? what do you mean im just braiding your hair?? nono this is preening smile"

god help you if you dare to have wings

poor tommy, wilbur, sneeg, and tubbo

phil can't help himself alright

do you think he wants to be any sort of protective over sneegsnag?

no!! but he cant stop himself!! sneeg might damage his wings if he keeps flying those super long distances!!! nnnno! carry the bug man!!!

it's weird, he's always had that protective sense over ranboo, too

but ranboo very obviously doesn't have wings, so he doesn't get it...

ranboo

yes ur a peasant

yes ur poor

yes im cooler than u

what r u gonna do about it

the enderdragon's son! partially a dragon, partially enderman, partially human (don't ask, his other mom is a hybrid), all spoiled brat!

given that he has a ton of dragon genes, he's extremely possessive over his stuff and Yes He Does Do The Hoarding Thing

he has a pile of rings and gold chains and necklaces and most of his jewellery hidden underneath his bed

(if you ask him, no, he doesn't)

not to wear

just to Have

one time, fundy stole one (1) bracelet from the hoard and ranboo was sent into a panic for a good 24 hours

he wouldn't leave his cave and kept counting and recounting as if that'd make the missing piece reappear

(when fundy had to give it back because of the guilt, he expected to get his face bitten off)

(instead, he just watched as the prince was flooded with relief, telling him to get the hell out and nothing more)

it's weird, he has so much gold and even a crown, and yet here he is

living with all those people ^^^

truth be told, the enderdragon isn't a very nice dragon

nor is she a very kind queen

nor was the other queen

nor was her son

there was a mutiny in the end, leading to the dragon queen and her wife being killed brutally by the crowd of angered people

they went after their son next, who had ordered executions and worked servants to the bone just as much as they had

they cut off his wings in the middle of the square

he was sure he was going to die until a random person (a peasant) jumped up and yelled at them for publicly torturing a child

but ranboo didn't really catch all of it, given he was delirious from pain

he got to get some stuff quickly and escape with his life

this wasn't too long ago, either, so he's still trying to...adjust...to people talking rudely to him

(he's also trying to adjust to not having wings)

(hence why he hurls himself off the edges of cliffs and then has to teleport to the bottom instead of glide. he keeps forgetting.)

[vangoghmusings]

perfect surprise ｡･:*:･ﾟ

dad!atsumu x single mom!y/n

part one

“ok deep breaths y/n, don’t stress,” you said to yourself with a deep inhale.

buttoning up your top you eyed yourself in the mirror. you hadn’t dressed like this for a casual meeting in a long time. except it wasn’t a casual meeting really- it was facetiming a japanese olympic volleyball player who just happens to be your baby daddy. totally casual.

“you ready tama?” you asked your son, who was enthralled with his ducky plush.

you chuckled softly and picked him up, walking over to your computer and sitting him on his lap. you placed his ducky in his lap, his attention instantly back on it. pressing a firm kiss on his head, you turn on your computer and open facetime. checking the time, you see that it’s exactly 6pm for you, 8am tomorrow in toyko.

atsumu miya would like to facetime

blinking at the screen you take another deep inhale. it’s been over a year since you had seen atsumu.

“now or never right tama?”

your baby cooed and you quickly wiped the drool from his chin, turning to answer the call.

the screen lit up, atsumu sitting down with his knees at his chest, pressed against a coffee table, sitting on the floor with his back resting against a couch.

a wide grin creeped onto his face.

“y/n, oh my god!”

he lunged forward and grabbed his laptop closer to see you better.

“wow!” he beamed in shock. there you were, sitting shyly with a baby on your lap, a baby that was supposed to be his.

“hi atsumu-san, im sorry my japanese is a bit rusty.”

he shook his head, “don’t worry, my english has improved a lot from traveling.”

“oh oh. thats nice,” you nodded, awkwardness creeping in.

what could you even say? oh haha sorry! last time you saw me you were buying me breakfast after a night of banging me? yeah i’ve been great since then!

“so, his name is tama?” atsumu asked bringing you back to earth. at the mention of his name, tama looked up at the screen. blubbering a few short noise, he waved his short chubby hands at the screen, leaning forward a bit too much.

“woah careful,” you said pulling him back onto your lap. “yeah, tama ihyo.”

atsumu grinned, “perfect surprise right?”

“yeah,” you smiled softly, “japan was such a big part of my life, it seemed only fitting that his name be japanese, as well that-“

“that im japanese, right?”

“yeah…”

atsumu cleared his throat after a long pause.

“how- how old is he?”

“5 months.”

atsumu’s eyes widened, “wow he’s gonna be one soon. he’s so little…”

you looked down at tama who was beginning to squirm in your lap.

“shit he’s getting hungry,” you grumbled, unbuttoning your top.

atsumu stared.

“what- what are you doing?”

you froze- was he being serious?

“im going to feed tama?”

“yeah but why are you, you know, getting nakey…”

you laughed, atsumu clearly confused.

“oh my god, atsumu are you serious right now? tama is only 5 months i need to breast feed him.”

atsumu blinked.

“OH!” he said chuckling with embarrassment, his face bright red.

laughing you positioned tama and he began to drink.

“it’s ok, im sure you haven’t been around a baby in a long time.”

“yeah. i shouldn’t have though. why didn’t you tell me?”

you looked down, faced with your hungry son, eyes shut as he fed.

“i didn’t know how to tell you, i mean i was already back in america when i learned i was pregnant. and your season has just started and i know that volleyball is your life and i didn’t want to ruin that and your future-“

“y/n stop. please.”

you looked up at your screen, atsumu looking down at his knees.

“none-none of that matters y/n. yeah, volleyball has been my life for as long as i can remember but, tama, tama is in my life now and as a dad, his father, he’s my life now. you should’ve let me know that i had a son, so he knows that he has a father that loves him.”

“atsumu you haven’t even met him-“

“what does that matter? im looking at him with my own two eyes and i can see your nose and my cheeks in his face and i don’t need to meet him to love him. that’s my son of course im going to love him.”

you started at atsumu, tears standing his cheeks as he looked at you and tama with pain. you had unfairly cut him out from the life of his child, and he was so willing to be apart of it.

“i-im sorry atsumu i didn’t know.”

he sighed and wiped his eyes with the bottoms of his palms.

“it’s okay, i can’t imagine how hard being pregnant by yourself was.”

it was hard. your parents were enraged when you when told them. you come back from japan pregnant at 23 and unwilling to spill on who the baby daddy is. but as soon as your bump started showing, your family couldn’t contain their excitement at having a new baby scurrying around.

“uh it wasn’t too bad.”

tama finished feeding so you lifted him onto his shoulder to burp him, cooing softly.

atsumu smiled softly at the sight, although he was thirteen hours ahead, he never felt more present in his life. his son, cradled lovingly by the woman who’s feelings he had for her never really left.

“im gonna come to america. i want to meet my son. and i’ve been dying to see you again”

with a gentle tap, there goes tama, belching and spitting up onto your back, staining it with baby vomit.

“augh, tama why- wait what?!”

[blxetsi]

I was curious if you’d be up for headcanon of adopting Gabi Braun, or what it’s like being her older sibling?

If not maybe just Pieck relationship headcanons

Please and thank you

im so sorry im getting to this so late 😭🤚 ty for requesting ‼️

‼️CONTENT WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 AND CHAPTER 139‼️

adopting gabi braun headcanons (canonverse)

characters: gf!sasha braus x gn!reader, platonic!gabi braun x gn!reader, fatherly!levi ackerman x gn!reader, platonic!falco grice x gn!reader

warnings: death, angst, hatred for kids (fuck them kids‼️), peepaw levi 😁👍

- uhhhhhh,, your relationship w gabi had a very rocky start. Lol !

- it all started when your friend eren jaeger decided to run away to infiltrate marley causing the survey corps to go get him just as a war was declared between your countries, and then two kids snuck onto the airship you were using to escape and shot your girlfriend. and she died. Lol !

- you had a lot of hatred for gabi in the beginning, and it was understandable

- you blamed her for shooting sasha, but you also blamed yourself for not being able to save her.

- you were a trained medic, you were supposed to save people, and yet you couldnt even save the woman you loved. it was like a slap in the face, like god was playing some cruel joke on you

- you remember sitting against the wall with sasha's blood staining your hands. you could barely process what happened at the time, and then levi came

- he sat next to you, taking a handkerchief out of nowhere seemingly, and just wordlessly wiped your hands down.

- your relationship with the older man was never defined, even today, but you both cared for each other

- the next time you saw gabi, was in that restaurant, niccolo had attacked gabi and falco, injuring them both, and said she killed sasha

- your blood went cold, you felt so many things, the grief you had pushed down in favour of your job, anger, fear, among other things

- niccolo had said there needed to be justice, he said that gabi should die for what she did, he tried to get sasha's father to kill her, and all you did was stand there.

- your body went on autopilot, barely listening to mr. braus' speech, you watched as kaya pointed a knife at gabi, and you listened to her wails of agony as you blindly led mikasa, armin, and gabi to a different room

- you were scared of yourself, for what you were thinking. did you really want a kid to die ? she did kill your girlfriend, the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, the woman that shared her food with you, the woman that held you when you got scared at night, the woman that promised you that after the war you two would live on a farm together, and have a family of your own.

- but she was still a child. she didnt know any better. you were conflicted in your feelings, especially after hearing what niccolo had said, but it all just emphasized what was already known to you. she was a child

- your blood was pounding in your ears, and you could faintly hear gabi asking your comrades if they wanted to kill her. when armin reassured her they didnt, she looked to you and asked "what about them ?"

- you didnt answer her, and continued to lead them down where eren would be meeting you all. you were supposed to drop them off, but eren made you stay, and then a fight broke out

- you dont remember when you did it, but you held gabi in your arms, shielding her from the fight. you think you needed to be held more than she did

- things got more complicated after that, and slowly the hatred you had for sasha's killer went away, until all you had left was a hole in your chest from guilt and sadness.

- at fort salta, you thought you were going to die there, next to your friends. you thought you'd become a mindless titan, like connie's family

- but you didnt, well you did, but only for a short time, and when you turned back, you reunited with your friends

- looking around for gabi, you saw her tackle falco into a hug, which made you smile

- "y/n !" jean called, you remember looking behind you in confusion, he sounded distressed, but you understood why when you saw sasha saluting the three of you

- you felt your legs move on your own, and you ran closer to her, before stopping about a meter away. she was dead, you knew she was dead, but she was there, wearing that goofy smile on her face and looking at you as if you'd hung the stars in the sky

- she looked at you. "you did good." hearing her voice felt like a dream. your mouth felt dry, and your jaw opened and closed like a fish before you felt tears sting your eyes. "i love you."

- she nodded, before looking at the sky. "i know." she replied. sasha looked back at you before giving you a soft smile. "you know what to do now." before she disappeared in the debris

- you knew what to do, so you did it

- you found levi sitting against a rock, and when you leaned down next to him he muttered something. "i saw erwin again. and hange. all of them." you nodded. "i saw sasha." he looked at you, and gave you the closest thing to a smile. "i guess we're both at peace now."

*****

- three years later, you've become a school teacher in paradis, teaching young children how to read, to write, and basic math. you teach them about art and music, and nature. its nice being surrounded by children all day, kids are lovely.

- you live with gabi, falco and levi, in a small house inside wall sina. levi's legs have gotten weaker with time, causing him to use a wheelchair and crutches. he's given up on his dream of a tea shop, but is content with the life he has now.

- gabi and falco have gotten more rowdy with age, but they've both matured quite a bit. they make you proud

- you send letters to sasha's family. kaya is growing up, and has taken over archery just like her sister. niccolo is living with them now.

- you'll never be able to let go of sasha, or what happened to her, but the pain in your chest has dulled immensely. you think about her sometimes, when youre in bed alone, wanting to feel the warmth of her body in your arms, you know you should move on, you get teased about not having a new girlfriend, even levi has made comments about there being "plenty of fish in the sea"

it was a late night, on a friday. you were grading spelling tests at the dining room table, one lone candle being your source of light. your pen moves swiftly across the different pieces of paper, adding check marks or x marks when needed, adding a note at the bottom of each test, before adding a smiley face on all of your students' hard work. it was tedious, but it needed to be done, and you had to remember to bring them in on monday, you couldn't forget like last time.

you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. they were soft, and slow, and at first you thought it was levi but realized it couldn't be since you couldn't hear the soft tapping of his crutches on the stairs. they came down to the bottom and stood there, it was gabi, dressed in a light pink nightgown that came down to her knees, and her disheveled hair in the braid you did for her before bed.

you pushed your reading glasses to the top of your head. "what are you doing up ? it's late."

she shrugged, and walked over to sit across from you at the table. gabi grabbed the stack of papers that you already graded and shuffled through them, giggling when she found a misspelling.

you rolled her eyes. "don't laugh, they're six."

she shook her head. "i was spelling ten times better than this when i was their age."

"uh huh."

"are you calling my bluff ?"

you chuckled. "maybe. you should be in bed though."

"why ? it's not like we have school tomorrow."

you shrugged. "i was thinking we could go on a picnic outside the walls. it gets stuffy in here."

she nodded. "that would be fun."

the silence came back for a while, until you finished grading and set your papers aside.

"you know, i hear you sometimes." she whispered.

you looked at the brunette in confusion. "how do you mean ?"

"when your in bed, sometimes you cry."

you scoffed, and leaned back in your chair. "yeah well, i try to muffle it."

"i don't think ive ever apologized to you," she started. her eyes welled up with tears and her hands shook on the table. her cheeks and nose became pink as she held herself back from crying. "i know i feel bad, and i regret killing her but, i've never actually apologized to you for-"

"don't." you said. you kept your eyes on your lap, you felt your throat growing tight. "please gabi, don't say anything."

"i need to apologize-"

"you don't. you killed her. she's dead, the war is over. it's done. just let it go." you said, your voice wavering.

"have you let it go ?"

your head shot up to her. "i lost the woman i was going to spend the rest of my life with. she promised me a safe home, a farm, and a family. and she promised we'd grow old together. and that didn't happen. i grew up with her, i've known her since i was twelve, we started dating when i was sixteen. of course i haven't let it go, gabi."

gabi looked shocked by your outburst, but nodded. she understood how you felt, and she felt so guilty. "you don't forgive me do you ? i get it, i really do. i'm sorry."

you shook your head. "gabi no, i do. i do forgive you. i just, i can't forget it." you whimpered, tears started streaming down your face and you choked back a sob. "i loved her with all of my heart, i still do, but i don't hate you-"

gabi rolled her eyes, tears coming out uncontrollably now. "you should. i killed her, i ruined your chance of a happy life ! she was your family and i-"

"gabi no !" you exclaimed, cutting her off. at this point you both looked like a mess, and you were worried you woke up the boys. you grabbed her shaking hands in your own and held them to you. "you are my family. you are. so is falco, and so is levi. i forgive you, and i love you with all of my heart." you said, a sad smile on your face. her eyes widened at your words, before she started sobbing.

you got up from the table to come to her side, and held her in your arms as she cried. her arms wrapped around your shoulders while she dug her head into your neck, tickling you with her hair.

you rubbed her back and cradled her head while shushing her. she sobbed out a muffled "i love you so much y/n." that you chuckled at.

"i love you too so much." you whispered back.

it took a long time for gabi to calm down, but when she did you still held her, rocking her and yourself back and forth slightly. you two moved from the chairs down to the floor, funny enough.

you kissed the top of her head before talking, the only noise in the room being your whispers, her sniffles and the living room clock. "you know reiner's coming home soon. are you excited ?" she nodded against your skin and sniffled again, clearing her throat too.

"i hope he brings me a gift or something." she whispered back, her voice hoarse. it made you laugh, and you had to cover your mouth to keep quiet.

"they're going to shiganshina district for a couple of days, to visit mikasa and eren, and then mikasa will come with them to the capital."

"do you miss her ?" she asked.

"so much. i miss all of them, but mikasa is a close friend of mine, she holds a special place in my heart."

"do you think you and levi will go to the meetings between the marley ambassadors and the jaegerists ?" she asked.

"maybe, if they feel as though they really need us."

you sighed through your nose, which was a bit stuffy from crying. "after we turned back into humans, i saw sasha again."

gabi lifted her head up from where it was resting on your shoulder. "what ?"

"yeah, i saw her ghost i think." you looked down on her with a smile on your face. "she told me i knew what i needed to do, and then i went and got levi and you and falco." you paused for a moment, thinking about how you would word what you were thinking. "i did what i needed to do, i got my family together." gabi's eyes widened. "sasha promised me a family, and although this wasn't the family i had envisioned, it's still a family nonetheless. i believe her last gift to me was you, falco, and levi. and i am so grateful to have you all in my life."

gabi smiled before hugging you. she opened her mouth to say something-

"oi !" a deep voice came from the top of the stairs. "you two woke me up with all of your crying. go to bed." before your heard the creaking of the floorboards and the closing of a door.

you chuckled before standing up, pulling gabi with you. you walked her to her room, and even tucked her in, you both exchanged 'i love yous' and 'goodnights' before you retreated from her bedroom, closing the door behind you.

across the hall, levi stood leaned on his doorway with his arms crossed together. "that family speech, that was cute." he commented. you rolled your eyes at the older man. "were you listening in on a private conversation ?" you teased.

the ex-captain scoffed and looked away. "go to bed y/n. we have a picnic to go on tomorrow." before closing his door.

you chuckled to yourself, remembering how you brought up the idea to him that morning, and he only replied with a curt "we'll see" before sipping on his morning tea.

you went back to your own room, and got into your bed. you turned on your side, and looked at the space you always left open for sasha, and brushed your hand against the pillow.

"goodnight love."

uhhhhh doesnt feel like my best work but whatevs 😁👍 enjoy my comeback to tumblr 🤩🙏

requests open mfs ‼️

[eremiie]

i saw this post here and just wanted to dissect everything lmao

aot 139 spoilers 

“Eren admits that he literally killed 80% of the world’s population, he then says he only did it so it would look like eldians stopped a threat”

eren admit to killing 80% of the population bc he did... he’s admitting to what he did, and he says that he wanted to paint them to be the heroes— but not only did he do that, he ended the curse of ymir and gained freedom for his people. it wasn’t just to paint them as heroes

“He also did it so the rest of the world couldnt murder them”

he didn’t “also” do it for that reason, it was an effect, the rumbling ended up killing so many people that they can’t wage war on the eldians like eren says, it keeps them a little safe which they needed especially since some of humanity knows that paradis is what started the rumbling. it’s a cause and effect type thing. because eren killed 80% of the population that remaining population won’t be able to retaliate and try to kill the eldians since there are so little of them

the tybur family is treated like some of martyr and apparently pulling the strings which led to the deaths of millions of innocent eldians was actually a GOOD thing

this scene was interpreted wrong, armin says “...so you want us to be like the tyburs after the great titan war? we’re supposed to protect paradis from reprisal from humanity outside the walls?” he’s asking eren if that’s what they’re gonna do, he never says it’s a good thing. then that’s when eren explains that either way so much of humanity is destroyed that they wouldn’t be able to retaliate if they wanted to

Armin THANKS him for it

armin thanks eren for doing what he did to free them. not thanking eren for for mass murder period. it’s because of eren that the curse is lifted and that they are free and that’s what armin’s thanking eren for. mass murder is inexcusable, and eren knows that. that’s why after he panics and goes “but i dont want to die!” he comes to a realization that all the people he killed didn’t want to either, that the only way to atone for his sins is by dying himself. even if he didn’t die he would’ve probably been executed, or imprisoned for the rest of the life. just like in mikasa’s ova, “eren’s death is inevitable, no matter what reality you go to eren will always die because he carries death within himself.” 

in another translation of the chapter armin thanks eren for being the bad guy so that they could win. he knows what eren did was bad. he’s not excusing it, he just understands why eren had to do it and that eren had no choice if he wanted them to be free. 

from the get go freedom was one of the themes of eren’s character. if eren lived the whole entire world would be ruins and eren would’ve been even sadder than now, there would be nobody and it would’ve been worse than it is now. eren killing everyone was definitely not the ending to go. the ending we have could’ve been executed differently, sure, but in my eyes since i get the gist i think isa did an amazing job portraying what he had in mind. 

“Armin is more upset with Eren saying he doesnt know how he feels about Mikasa moving on than mass genocide”

once again, armin isn’t all that upset with eren because he understands that eren had a path laid out for him that he had no choice to follow. the point of eren committing mass genocide keeps getting brought up as if it’s not know that mass genocide is a terrible thing. it is and that’s why everyone was so angry about it from the get go, that’s why that one plan of blackmailing humanity with the rumbling and not actually go through with it was brought up once— because they knew how cruel it is. armin knew how cruel it is as i believe it was him who brought that up

he’s upset with eren about mikasa’s feelings in like a banter kind of way. it’s like “this whole entire time this is how you felt but you couldn’t tell her that and let her suffer???? don’t forget what you said to her, she went through hell!” kind of thing. they had already talked about the whole mass genocide thing, mikasa was the next topic of discussion

“Eren then finally shows some fucking emotion and cries abt how he doesn’t want mikasa to be with anyone but him”

in another post i say, "okay so first i think the issue is that a lot of people fail to realize that the way eren acted all throughout season 4 isn’t eren really, that is him putting his emotions at bay so that he can complete something that he laid out for himself for his friends.eren from season 1-3 still exists, and that’s lowkey the eren that was talking the whole time in chapter 139— you can see the how he cares for his friends, you can see the desperation again, the compassion, everything in between.” 

eren is still that s1-3 eren, season 4 eren just had to put his emotions aside so he could walk on the path that ymir put in front of him. 

him crying over mikasa was one of his selfish desires coming to light, and it was realistic. it’s finally dawning on him that he’s gonna die, he’s finally getting to sit down and ponder about mikasa, he’s getting desperate, he’s panicking, and that compassion that he’s always had for his friends is showing through again. this gives realism to his character— it makes his character all the more human. one second he’s complaining about how he doesn’t want to die and wants to be with his friends bc its crashing on him, and the very next second he’s trying to be at peace with himself, realising that the only way to atone for what he caused is by dying. one second he’s complaining about how he wants miksa to be with anyone but him, the next second he’s coming to terms with himself and that mikasa needs to move on, because he loves her and wants her to live a long and happy life even if it means without him. the selfishness that showed for that mere second makes his character realistic. it shows that he’s still whiny, that little whiny angry boy from s1-3. he was never heartless and he was never cold. he was and is still eren jaeger, and you get a glimpse of the eren we know in that scene.

The founder ymir was apparently in love with the king???? another women stupidly devoted to a man, great.

i’m not too in depth with ymirs story so im not gonna speak too much about this because i myself do wish that whole love thingy went more into depth. i get how mikasa and ymir parallel each other, but other than that i’m not too sure myself, and i’ll admit that. it could be a case of stockholm syndrome, it could be that bc ymir was infatuated with living and she was confined to such a familial role she wanted to live in that role again with the king bc he’s the only person who gave her that familial lifestyle. i’m not sure. but if anything mikasa was im pretty sure the only character “devoted” to a man in aot. and it was because of the role eren played in her life, she’s not a bad written character, she has her developement. which i explain here

apparently mikasa’s unhealthy devotion to eren is what took her out of it????? in fact the series overly romanticizes mikasa’s love for eren despite the two having no chemistry and eren being an ass to her

in a sense, but that’s a simple minded way of saying it. ymir’s devotion to king fritz was unhealthy, eren describes it as “agony of love” because it was pretty unhealthy obvi. like i said ymir and mikasa parallel each other, and seeing mikasa be able to let go and kill the one she loves was that realization for ymir that she was able to do the same thing— that’s how i interpret that scene personally.

and in mikasa doing so, killing eren lifts that curse of ymir and frees ymir regardless, so ymir was happy about that as well. thanks to mikasa for cutting eren’s head off. 

the series doesn’t necessarily over romanticize mikasa’s love for eren in my opinion. how i see it is that since eren is a big part of mikasa’s character he was necessary for her development as well, and her development was to let eren go because of how infatuated she was with him. this being said the series points out how unhealthy the way she loved him was especially in s1-3, and her love becomes more healthy when she gets her development in chap 139, finally being able to let eren go and move on. compare that to in the s1 when eren almost dies and she’s ready to die as well. thats development if you ask me. 

one of the themes of the show is sacrifice, and almost every character has made one, mikasa sacrifices eren— she kills him and she chooses to go through with that decision despite how much she loves him. 

eren was definitely mean to mikasa in s1-3 because she was overbearing, and thats one reason why i say the way she loved him was unhealthy at first. eren wasn’t able to reciprocate her love in the way that she loved him because it wasn’t healthy. eren also wasn’t able to reciprocate it because the last thing he was focused on was the concept of love. once again he had a path laid out for him that he had no choice but to follow, and mikasa didn’t have any play in this path until the very end, so the boy who keeps moving forward does just that and doesn’t pay her much mind, doesn’t get to sit down and think about his feelings for her, what she is to him.

(and i dont think i even need to explain the “mikasa i’ve always hated you seen, the chapter covers that enough)

they do have chemistry time to time, the eren v dina fritz scene, the scarf scene, “what am i to you”, little stuff like that goes into play and gives them these little sparks of chemistry. they couldn’t always grasp onto the full scope of the relationship they had and it was only some times they were able to do that with everything going on.

apparently the titans are just gone now….??? i cant even tell if its because Eren died or because Mikasa really made Ymir calm down

... eren controlling rumbling, eren dies rumbling stops, ymir finally lifts curse bc 1) eren died 2) shes able to come to realization that like mikasa lets eren go, she needs to let fritz go and the curse go. ymir lifts curse, eren’s goal is complete, if titan curse is lifted there are no more titans

Characters who murdered thousands and were the cause for AOT’s entire plot in the first place are now treated as heroes to the eldians… despite the shit that they did.

everyone in aot did some “shit” they all are murders, eren commited mass genocide, reiner commited mass murder, annie murdered so many people, reiner, armin destroyed thousands of people in one go, they all have killed somebody. they are seen as “heros” because they stopped the rumbling that was going to kill everyone else...... idk about you but if you just saved me from a horrid death, my racist opinion on you doesn’t really matter because you just saved my fucking life lmao, yes despite the shit that you did— because they have killed people too, and they were ready to kill the eldians still until armin told them that they killed eren, that they saved their lives and eliminated titans for good.... like whew???

the series went from “The military is cool” to “the military did a lot of fucked up shit” to “the military is SUPER cool”, and buffed it up

i’m not really sure where you got that tbh,, like the military wasn’t really a big thing up until the whole marleyan thing??? and they didn’t have much plot in the story besides it existing so like i’m not sure what to say ab this, i can’t really remember many times the military was even mentioned until now, but if anyone wants to elaborate on this for me that’d be nice

oh and they buffed up the military because since paradis had eren jaeger who started the rumbling, just in case, they had to be ready to fight again if the rest of humanity wanted to do something. after marley they updated all their technology, why can’t they update the military as well? it’s realistic, new weapons, new military, and all that

The military was buffed up bc the eldians are scared of the rest of the world retaliating, so Eren didn’t really fix shit except giving the Eldians an upper hand in the war

eren jaeger was the one who always screamed “i will kill all titans, we will get freedom” ya de ya de ya.... didn’t he do both of those things????? i thought those were some of his main goals as a character, he fixed those issues, the issues that have been issues since the start of the show

the rest of humanity don’t know the full scope like the eldians or marleyans, they’re probably just as scared and like in real life not all nations are at peace with one another. this is just another realistic factor— attack on titan is becoming a world closest to the real one we live in, there are militaries, there are still conflicts, there is still all these little aspects that bring the manga even more to life.

in my opinion it’d lowkey be weird if the rest of the world was just like “oh yeah those mfs that started the rumbling we love them haha” no... it killed 80% of the population like eren said... that’s not something to love.

Historia has a really disturbing speech about how the fight isnt going to end until either the Eldians or the rest of the world are exterminated, despite Gabi has an entire arc about her being deradicalized and learning to see the other side of things.

and yes i am not kidding, the heroic conclusion is that there’s still going to be a war, eldians are going to commit mass genocide (which was proposed by eren) and people straight up thank eren for the evil shit he did.

“this fight will not end until either eldia or the world dissapears. this is what eren said and he may be right.” she doesn’t say that it’s for sure gonna be a fight until one or the other is wiped out, she says there’s a possibility of this being the case because of the fact that these nations aren’t at complete peace yet. 

not everyone is gonna be able to see the other side of things, and this applies to the whole word— us as humans will never be able to agree on one thing, and that’s what this shows. no matter what the cycle of hatred will always continue, and this applies to real life and this manga. we are human beings and that’s what makes what historia says even more real. “this is the world we live in, a world without titans.” titans are no longer their conflict. now it’s only like the real word— humans against humans, and as far as humanity existed it’s always been humans against humans. historia’s speech shows that.

the heroic conclusion is that as a human race nothing will always be agreed upon, eldians are going to fight if they need to like our military fights when they need to. people are thanking eren for freeing them and ending the curse of titans that they suffered with for 2000 years. nobody’s thanking him for his actions of mass genocide, they are thanking him for the motive behind his actions, and thats what makes him so heroic.

that he endured and did something so terrible so that anybody who lives after him can be free, and humanity can continue existing as humanity should’ve existed from the beginning.

and that concludes this for me, thanks for reading<3.

[bbugyu]

can i kiss you yet? + hong joshua

a mutual friend always made a great excuse to see you, but he definitely wanted more.

wc.2.4k | joshua x gn!reader, fluff, first snow au, foreigners in korea squad up, josh is a tutor u are an ambiguous worker everything is vague shhh, there are really no warning this is just fluff, oh drinking, but only the once, miss park chaeyoung please text me back

haha..... i am....... im not........... im in my joshie feels ok do not talk to me about it im embarrassed. thanks @babiemingoo for ruining my life by saying joshua would fall in love with me, and i quote, "no cap."

~

you spent a lot of time with joshua. by proxy, mostly, but you enjoyed his company nonetheless. your best friend called him her brother - they weren't related by blood, but by circumstance, having separately moved to korea at an old enough age to take care of themselves but young enough to still need the support of someone going through something similar. they were neighbors, and rosie had no way of stopping him from barging through her front door at all hours of the day. she always yelled at him to let her have some privacy. he insisted that if she was doing something that required privacy, then she should tell him beforehand. you always just laughed from your spot on the couch.

joshua would smile and put up a hand when he pretended to notice you for the first time, as though you weren't the express reason he had made an excuse to show up. "hi, y/n."

you would smile back and wiggle your fingers at him. "hi, josh."

this happened almost every time you came over to rosie's apartment, and while you never intended to see him, you would be lying if you said it wasn't a lovely benefit.

she rolled her eyes. "don't you have a job?"

"that's the great thing about being an online tutor," joshua said, making himself comfortable on the opposite end of the couch from you. "flexible scheduling."

you realized you had never asked him about his work. "what do you tutor?"

he looked at you, and you thought you saw a flash of nervousness in his eyes before he grinned. "english. and korean. and algebra. and calculus, sometimes."

"that's, like," you paused, your head knocking to one side. "impressive?"

"is it?" he laughed. "i just voice chat with high school students in sweats."

you shrugged. "i'm bad at math and i'm pretty sure i'd be bad at teaching, so anything like that is impressive to me."

he nodded, the corner of his mouth quirked upwards. it was hard for him to believe that you could be bad at anything, but he figured math was an okay thing to be lacking in. "noted."

rosie coughed loudly, making you both direct your attention to where she was leaning against the kitchen counter. "if you guys are done, i would love someone's help deciding what kind of pizza to get."

when you left hours later, rosie asked joshua why he even came over, trying to imply that he was taking too long to admit he liked you.

he pouted out his lips and shook his head. "no reason. i just heard you talking to someone and wanted to make sure you're not inviting over weirdos."

she gave him a sideways glare, knowing that if that were the truth, he would have come over when mingyu showed up the day before. or wonwoo last week. or any of her other friends that frequented her studio apartment. but conveniently, he only ever barged in when it was you, and she had a suspicion that it was because he had learned to recognize your laugh through the thin walls.

the first time you ever met joshua, it was at a bar. you and some work friends had agreed to get drinks together, and when your coworker-turned-bestie got a call from her neighbor saying she got a package, you nudged her.

"is he your oppa, like, just a guy, or like a boyfriend?"

she squinted at you, registering your language switch "ew! oh my god, he's just a guy. he's like a brother."

you heard an indignant noise over the line at her exclamation, and you giggled as you guided the straw in your cocktail to your lips.

"am i lying, joshua?" rosie said, rolling her eyes. "are you not like my brother?"

"joshua?" your eyebrows quirked up, realizing he had an english name, and only processing after the fact that he also understood her. "is he like us?"

"foreign?" rosie asked, looking at you. "yeah, he's from la."

you looked at her expectantly. "well, is joshua free tonight?"

she laughed at you, but redirected the question over the phone anyways, then promptly invited him out to join you at the bar, and he said he could be there in 45 minutes. he arrived with 6 minutes to spare (not that you were watching the clock, but you totally were), and rosie waved him down to join your table, quickly introducing him to the coworkers you had deemed fun enough to hang out with.

"and this is y/n," she said, grabbing your arm. she leaned over to joshua, pretending to whisper. "the other foreigner."

you laughed and shook his hand, saying it was nice to meet him. he smiled back, warmly, and returned the sentiment. he was korean, you realized, despite being from america, and he was incredibly handsome. like, absurdly so, in a way that felt impossible in reality, yet here he was, gaze flickering over your face as you brought your (new) drink to your lips, and the liquid almost caught in your throat when you saw an entire galaxy twinkling in his eyes. you blinked when he went to get a drink, thinking you must be drunker than you thought to have mistaken the reflection of the fairy lights that littered the bar as galaxies, but for some reason, your initial impression seemed to suit him more.

months later, you went to rosie's apartment just to drop off some food - you were teaching yourself how to make korean side dishes, and she volunteered to be your auxiliary food tester if you made too much, which, big surprise, you absolutely did. she made fun of your cooler bag and your big puffy jacket, saying you reminded her of the grandma down the hall, and you laughed heartily as you made your way to her kitchen.

she had an essay to write, so you didn't stick around. shortly after you announced your leave and exited to the hall, the next door opened.

"oh," joshua said, hand still gripping the handle of his front door as he made surprised eye contact with you. "you're leaving already?"

you pursed your lips to hide a smile, wrapping your scarf around your neck. "already?"

"you usually, um," he paused, his hand going to the back of his neck, the other pushing into the pocket of his jeans. "you're usually around for a few hours."

you giggled. "i was just dropping off some food, rosie has an essay to write."

he puffed out a cheek and nodded slowly as he let it deflate. "i guess i shouldn't bother her, then."

you watched him avoid your gaze, then peeked slyly past him into his apartment. you had never been, but it looked neat. neutral. comforting. it seemed like him.

the jig was up, joshua thought, studying your eyes briefly. you clearly knew he only ever barged into his neighbor's apartment because you were there. he had obviously just given it away, but maybe you had always known, and you had just let him think he was convincing when he said he had no idea you were over. but maybe he was okay with that, because you never complained. and maybe that meant you liked seeing him, too.

"are you busy?" he asked suddenly. "i don't mean to keep you, but-"

you shook your head quickly. "i don't have plans."

"uh," he turned to his apartment before looking back at you briefly. "let me grab a jacket, i'll walk you home."

you couldn't help but smile. "okay."

joshua made sure he was quick to get his winter coat and a scarf, but instinctively adjusted his bangs in a mirror and checked his breath. he silently scolded himself for making this out to be something that it wasn't - he was walking you home, not taking you out. but he hoped he would work up the nerve to ask before the end of the walk.

"ready?" you asked, pushing off the wall you were leaning against as you waited.

he smiled at you, silently hoping he was. "yeah, let's go. it's gonna start getting dark soon."

when the two of you exited the apartment building, hands shoved into pockets, joshua commented that it felt like it was gonna snow.

"i think the forecast said tomorrow," you mused, looking up at the overcast sky.

he stared at you as you walked beside him, your lips curved upward in a vague smile as you thought about how much you liked the snow, and when you looked over and caught his gaze, he redirected his eyes just a little too late, then laughed at his own behavior. "sorry, you looked really cute just then."

you couldn't help but smile, nuzzling down into your scarf to hide it. "as opposed to normally, when i don't."

"not what i said," he defended immediately. "i think you always look cute."

you giggled into your scarf, hoping he couldn't see how flustered you felt. "thank you. i think you always look cute, too."

you caught a small smile sneak onto his face as he looked down at his shoes. "thanks."

joshua had never once seemed shy to you. a little hesitant, maybe, when you had first met him, but he exuded confidence. you got the impression that he knew himself better than anyone, and he was happy to express himself genuinely around people that accepted him. he was a bit of a smooth talker, you thought. he had a way of saying exactly what people wanted to hear, whether it was true or not. but today, now, he seemed genuinely reserved. quieter. like he wasn't quite sure what to say to you as you walked side by side on the sidewalk, headed to your apartment.

"what kind of food did you bring to roseanne?" he asked, trying to fill the quiet.

"standard fare," you said, smiling at how he used her full name. "kimchi, seasoned beansprouts, sweet potatoes, fishcakes."

"oh, korean?" he asked, looking at you. "i didn't know you cooked like that."

your lip quirked into a smile at the reaction. "i'm practicing. gotta please a korean husband if i wanna get a permanent visa, y'know."

"right," he said, nodding at your joking tone. "a korean husband."

you blinked, eyes focusing on something in the air, then looked up. "oh my god, is it snowing?"

joshua tore his gaze from you, looking around at the flakes that were gently falling from the sky. "i told you it was gonna snow."

"but the forecast said tomorrow!" you laughed, pulling a hand out of your pocket to try to catch some flakes. "has it snowed yet since new year?"

his heart fluttered lightly as he watched you shove your hand back into your pocket. "no, not yet."

you looked over at him and giggled at how much snow had gathered on his dark hair. "oh, jeez, it's starting to come down." you reached out to him, brushing some flakes off his bangs, and he hoped you thought his ears were just red from the cold. "if we don't hurry, you're not gonna be able to walk home."

that wouldn't be the end of the world, joshua thought. maybe if the snow fell heavy enough, you would tell him to sleep on your couch instead of trekking home. maybe the two of you could chat, alone, just enjoying company until too late in the night. and maybe your heating would go out again, like you often complained about, and maybe the two of you could wind up under the same blanket as you got sleepier.

"do you know that belief?" he asked, glancing at you as you walked. "what koreans say about first snow?"

you looked over to him. "no," you said shortly, switching to korean. "what is it?"

he laughed, but continued in english. "they say that if you're with someone during the first snow of the year, you'll stay together for a long time."

you stopped in your tracks, and he only made it two steps in front of you before he turned, looking at you questioningly. "together?"

he gave a short affirmation, blinking and looking away as he shifted his stance. "yeah, like-" he paused. "supposedly, if you confess during the first snow, it's good luck. or something like that."

you stared at him, studying his eyes as he avoided your gaze, a tiny smile creeping across your face. "josh."

he looked at you, eyebrows quirked. "w'sup?"

you giggled. "are you talking about us right now?"

"oh, are you confessing to me?" he asked, eyes wide and making you laugh as he slowly closed the short distance between you. "confessing during the first snow, wow. you must really like me. y'know, i always kind of thought you had a crush on me."

you rolled your eyes. "yet it took you four months to mention it?"

his nose scrunched up as he grimaced apologetically. "i'm sorry for making you wait," he said, quietly and in korean, close enough that you felt his breath on your skin. you just shook your head at him.

"i made you wait, too."

he looked between your eyes, and you couldn't help but feel like the snow was melting around you from his warm you felt. "can i kiss you yet?"

you let out a breathy giggle, enjoying the way his eyes creased as he smiled at you. "of course you can."

this moment, joshua realized, was one that he had imagined a million times in his head. in a million different scenarios throughout the last four months, he had imagined how incredible it would be to feel your lips against his. and when he finally found himself there, his fingers brushing against your cheek as he pulled you into him, the first snow of the year falling around you, he realized he had imagined it all wrong. because despite thinking that you definitely had the most beautiful lips that he could ever press his to, he had not accounted for the fact that you were smiling, and he was too, and that made them the sweetest. the most fun. the most exciting.

and he hoped you would let him keep kissing you for a long time.

[dionnaea]

Promises

pairing: kenny ackerman x reader (platonic), slight levi x reader

warnings: angst, character death, mild swearing

wc: 4.4k

a/n: so, so sorry this took so long!! i decided to combine these two requests and change them up a little, so i hope that’s okay! i’m really proud of this piece, so i hope you all enjoy it, too. xx

side note: technically this is a sequel to my other fic Pot Meet Kettle but it’s not entirely necessary to read that first.

requests:

Your writing’s so good I’m cryin’... Also, I’d LOVE to see what you have in mind for Kenny and Reader’s background! 👀 Were they both underground? was Reader already in the Corps when they met?? did she learn how to punch creeps from Kenny?? Plus I’m very curious about what he meant by her fixing broken hearts!

could you do a part 2 to the pot meet kettle levi fic? i really loved it and i think it would be cool if you could write a part 2 based off the kenny vs levi scene in season 3? like maybe kenny sees the reader and he's like good to see you again and levi is like mf what idk im not creative :(( sorry if this isn't enough

attack on titan masterlist | general masterlist

After Rod Reiss had been taken down, the scouts were sent to search the ruined fields for survivors. It was unlikely that any were left, but Erwin was adamant that no soldier would be left behind. You respected him for that, and went on your way to do your job. 

As you wandered, you ran into a returning scout, someone you didn’t know the name of but were sure had been paired with the Captain for this mission. His head was down as he walked, like there was something he had seen that he shouldn’t have, and your mind began to fill with worries for Levi. Had something happened? 

Making your steps slightly heavier in the grass so that he would notice you, the man finally looked up, quickly saluting to his superior. You brushed him off, instead getting down to business. 

“Where’s Captain Levi, cadet?” 

The man’s eyes darted away from your own before he answered. “Taking care of something, I think.”

You raised an eyebrow in suspicion at the soldier’s weary tone. “Oh? And what is he taking care of, might I ask?” Everything about this seemed peculiar, and you weren’t having it. 

“I don’t know. Something… personal.” When he finally met your gaze, he relented, sacrificing the Captain’s privacy for his own sake, too scared to see what your reaction would be if he kept playing coy. “He’s that way, by the big oak tree,” he stated, pointing in the direction he came. 

You squinted, making out the shadow of the tree in the setting sun. You dismissed the cadet, and quickly made your way towards Levi, his body becoming clearer as you approached. Once you were a reasonable distance away, you called out, but were met with silence. As your worry grew, you moved faster, only stopping when you realized what was going on. 

Levi was kneeling, his body covering the person in front of him. It didn’t matter, you’d recognize those spurs anywhere. 

“Kenny?” The name was uttered in disbelief, and as you stepped around Levi, your eyes grew wide with fear. “Kenny!” 

Immediately, you jumped into action, your scout training taking hold of your body as you knelt by your friend. Your hands hovered over his burnt and bloodied body, not knowing where to start but ignoring the possibility that it was too late. “How… How do I help you? I-I don’t know what to do.” Your eyes were tearing up, and your breathing was getting ragged as you struggled to find some solution. “Please, Kenny, tell me how to help!” 

“Kitten…” His voice was rough as he spoke, his usual tones of confidence and charisma gone. You met his half-closed eyes with your wet ones, begging for him to give you some answer, some, any sort of reassurance that things would be alright. 

“Please,” you pleaded. You had never sounded this pitiful in your life, but you didn’t care, and as his shaking hand grabbed your own, a sob wracked your body. “Kenny, please. Please stay.” You couldn’t help, you knew that, but you hoped for once in his life he would listen to you. 

His eyes began to shut, and his voice fell to a whisper as he said, “Stay safe, kitten.” With a barely there squeeze of your hand, his body went limp, his hand dropping from your grasp.  

You stared in silence, shock overtaking you for a moment. But then, all you felt was anger. “No. No! You promised!” You were yelling at this point, fist reaching out to bang on Kenny’s chest in retaliation. A strong grip on your wrist stopped you, but you weren’t done. As if he could read your mind, Levi wrapped his free arm around your waist, pulling you back from the now dead man. You were screeching obscenities at both Kenny and Levi as you struggled to break free. Soon, your screams turned into sobs, and as you fell limp into Levi’s arms, you let out one last whimper, a last cry for help. “You promised.”

Later that night, as you pulled a camisole over your head, a knock sounded on your quarters’ door. Truthfully, you had absolutely no desire to talk to anyone. You had had a long day, you had just changed into your pajamas, and you weren’t in the mood to join your fellow soldiers in celebration. Still, you pulled the door open a few inches, hoping it would be someone you could easily send away. To your surprise, Levi stood outside dressed in plain clothes and hair wet from what you presumed was a shower. Even more surprising was the newly formed bruise on his cheekbone. The reddish-purple mark stood out against his normally flawless skin, and you found yourself staring, only Levi’s sharp voice bringing you back to reality. 

“You did that, you know,” he commented with a blank face. 

“What?” You opened the door a bit more, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

His left eyebrow cocked up just barely. “When you went berserk earlier. Before I managed to snag both of your wrists,” he explained. He reached up a hand to brush against his cheek. “Damn, you hit hard.” 

You weren’t sure, but the tone in the man’s voice made you think that maybe, just maybe, he was trying to cheer you up. Against your will, the corners of your mouth turned up the slightest bit. “Did you expect anything less?” You quipped, wondering what his answer might be. 

“No.” He shrugged. “Just surprised it took you this long to punch me in the face.” 

At that, you let out a laugh. It was true, the man had managed to push every single one of your buttons during his time with the Scouting Regiment. The two of you were in constant conflict, arguments over the smallest things popping up out of nowhere. At some point, Erwin had decided that Mike would be the babysitter of you two, keeping you both in line during training and even more so during squad leader meetings. You started to smile at the memory, but when you remembered that Mike, like so many of the others you loved, was dead, your expression fell. 

Moving your eyes to stare down at the uneven floorboards, you spoke quietly, but sincerely, “I’m sorry.” 

Levi knew you weren’t just apologizing for hitting him but for everything, and as he studied your face, he made a decision. “Do you want some tea? I keep a special brand in my room.” It was the only thing he had to offer, and both you and him knew it. 

You froze as you tried to figure out the best course of action. Follow the Captain to his room or mope around alone until you cry yourself to sleep? In the end, it was an easy choice. Still, your heart stuttered in your chest while you gained your composure. You took a breath before responding, “Um, sure.” 

There was a beat of silence, as if the two of you were readying yourself to take on some new, mysterious foe. And in a way, you supposed, you were. About a month after Levi had joined the scouts, there had been an… incident of sorts. It wasn’t disastrous or anything like that, but Erwin had quickly ruled that the two of you weren’t allowed to be in the same room together without someone else present. A wise decision on his part, if you were being completely honest, and something that Levi nor you argued with in the slightest. But now, years later, it seemed both of you were ready to break that rule, Levi making the first move as he turned on his heel and waited to see if you would follow. 

Out of all of the scouts, you were known to be the most stealthy. Mike was usually the only one who could sense you were coming, claiming you had a distinctly pleasant smell that his nose had no problem picking up on. One time, he had even claimed that you were the best smelling person in the Survey Corps, and you couldn’t help but swell with pride. Hange had whispered to you later that evening that that was his way of flirting, but you never took her seriously. You weren’t interested in dating anyways. No one had ever really caught your eye minus one man, but you always said it was more of a fascination than a crush. 

Even your ODM gear seemed to be quieter than the rest, and you once managed to spook even the Commander when you landed on the same tree branch as him without him knowing. You naturally existed silently and sneakily so when Levi picked up on the sound of your sock-clad feet shuffling behind him, the pit of concern in his stomach grew. 

Reaching his quarters, he unlocked the door wordlessly, holding it open so that you could enter first. Your eyes widened as you took in the space. First of all, it was much bigger than your room. While you only had a bedroom and bathroom to yourself like the other squad leaders, Levi had a small living area with a couch, small coffee table, and even a desk. There were papers neatly stacked on top of it, and the rest of the area was just as orderly, his tea kettle sitting in the exact center of the coffee table. Only when you sat down on the couch did you see the small fireplace he had. It was just big enough to fit a tea kettle over it, and that’s what Levi proceeded to do. 

You let out a low whistle, capturing the man’s attention. “Wow. When did you get so important?” You asked, motioning lazily about the room with your hand. 

Levi scoffed and placed a hand casually on his hip. “Erwin gave it to me when he moved into the Commander’s quarters. Reward for the highest kill count or something like that.” His voice was so nonchalant that for a moment, you didn’t realize that he was insulting you. No, you thought, it was more of a tease than an insult. 

Now it was your turn to scoff, well aware that your fellow Captain was just trying to get a reaction out of you. Levi watched as you rolled your eyes playfully, firelight glinting off of your irises. Had they always been such a pretty color? 

The whistle of the kettle broke him out of his reverie, and he swiftly turned back to take it off of the heat. When he brought it back to the table, he was pleasantly surprised that you had already prepared the teacups, him only having to pour the water in and wait for it to steep. Hesitantly, he moved around the table to take a seat next to you, wondering when the two of you were ever this close. The events of the day popped into his head, and he did his best to ignore the fact that the thing he remembered the most about it was you being in his arms. Still, a question had been lingering in his mind, and he figured now was the best time to ask it. 

“Y/N,” he started, and you looked over with wide eyes at the use of your first name. You honestly weren’t aware that he even knew you had a first name. “Can I ask you a question?” You knew what was coming, but you forced yourself to nod anyways, giving him silent permission to know your secrets. “How do you know Kenny Ackerman?” 

It was a loaded question, and you let out a breath as you tried to figure out the best way to tell the story without getting either you or Kenny into trouble. Even the secrets of a dead man needed to be protected sometimes. Despite it all occurring years ago, the government’s threat towards you regarding the release of information hung heavily in your mind. Both you and Levi would be in danger if you revealed too much. He could swear himself to secrecy, and you would trust him, but the risk would never be worth the reward. You fiddled with your fingers in your lap, worrying your lip as you thought of how to start to explain. 

“Well,” you bit the inside of your cheek, gathering your nerves before continuing, “About a year and a half before you joined the scouts, I got myself into a bit of trouble.” He raised an eyebrow in surprise as you were widely thought to be the most well behaved and well intentioned scout there was. He thought he was the only person who could get you riled up, your scoldings from the other squad leaders and the Commander always leading back to him. You sent him a small grin. “I wasn’t always the goody two shoes I am now, Levi.” 

“Anyways, it became kind of a big deal in the Capital, and a lot of higher-ups were calling for my head.” You let out a light chuckle. “Imagine just turning 19 and having almost every MP looking for you. Scary stuff.”

“Wait.” Levi held up a hand to stop you before you could continue. The story had just started, but he was already having trouble believing that this was the truth. If not for the darkness that rested just behind your eyes, he would’ve called bullshit as soon as you said your first sentence. “What exactly did you do?” 

You looked away from the intensity of his gaze for a moment, an internal debate raging on inside your head. With a sigh, you relented. “I… I can’t tell you everything, but let’s just say it had to do with a certain Premier and confidential papers being stolen from his office.” Levi’s eyes grew wide, and you took that as a sign to continue. “No one knows except Commander Erwin, but I spent most of my teenage years in the Underground. I was born within Wall Sina, so I had papers to be up top, but I much preferred being below gro—”

“Why?” Levi was quick to cut you off, his expression hard and tone almost offended.

“My parents owned land in Wall Sina, and when they died, they left none of it to me, so folk got the idea in their head that I was a problem child. I wasn’t wanted there, so I left.” You shrugged, and Levi’s face softened. “I admit, the Underground wasn’t easy, but I was quick on my feet and smart for my age. I survived and I survived by myself. Help wasn’t something I wanted, but when you’re suddenly being chased by the royal government, it becomes something you need. That’s how I found Kenny, and it’s why I owe him my life.” 

It had been a week since you had completed your assignment, already turning in the materials to the man who had hired you and returning back to your comfortable life underground. All had seemed to go swimmingly, and your confidence had grown tenfold. The feeling of being unstoppable was addictive, and you craved the sensation of that feeling again. You let your thoughts drift to what you could accomplish next, but sudden screams quickly snapped you out of your daydream. Straightening in your chair, you peeked out of the window of the tavern you currently resided in. Fear grew in your chest at what you saw.

Standing right outside were five MP’s, fully equipped with ODM gear and holding up a wanted poster with a poorly drawn sketch of your face on it. It was clear that they were asking for your whereabouts, and you were thankful to see that every person was shaking their heads to say no, they had no idea. Even with the solidarity of your fellow Underground citizens, you knew you had to get out of there and away from the sharp swords that hung off of the men’s waists. Before you could move, though, two of the men entered the bar, their eyes sweeping over the patrons. 

Right before their eyes could meet your frightened ones, your world was encased in darkness, the only light you could see coming from below you. You blinked, trying to understand what exactly just happened, but soon realized that a large hat had been placed over your head. Carefully, you lifted the brim so that you could see, and were met with the piercing silver stare of a man a good amount of years older than you. Apparently your confusion showed on your face because he quickly pushed the hat back down so that it shaded your features. 

He spoke in a quiet voice, only letting you be privy to whatever information he was about to share. “I’d keep that on if I were you, kitten. Don’t want the MP’s seeing your face, now do we?” You didn’t dare speak, but quickly shook your head, showing him you were listening and following instructions. “Good,” he dragged out the vowel, and the table shook as he placed his leg onto the table. Were those cowboy boots and spurs? You were pretty sure people only wore those in stories. “Now,” he stated, “We’re just gonna have a nice, pleasant conversation. Lots of giggles, ya hear me?” You nodded, the hat moving up and down your forehead. 

As the man started spewing nonsense, you did your best to play along, laughing like he said to and keeping your face covered as best you could. You could hear the MP’s getting closer to your table over the man’s rowdy voice, and the hand gripping your drink began to shake in fear. Smoothly, the man took your hand in his, making some weird comment about how soft it was. You frowned. Your hands weren’t soft at all. What was with this guy? 

The realization of what his plan was smacked you in the face, and you let out light giggles in response, putting on your most fake voice as you thanked him for the compliment. The things you were saying to each other became sickly sweet, so much so that you almost laughed at one point. As the soldiers approached your table, the mysterious man leaned in close, his alcoholic breath fanning over your face. Calmly, he swept the hat off of your head and placed it so that it covered both of your faces from the men who were now only a couple of feet away. 

A swift kick from under the table spurred you into action, and you let out a girlish moan followed by an exaggerated giggle. He followed suit, making a comment about how nice your lips were. If it were any other situation, you would punch this man in the face, but for right now, you’d listen to every command he gave you. From behind the hat you heard one of the MP’s mumble about ‘couples these days’ with a gagging noise coming from the other. With one last lovesick comment from the man in front of you, the MP’s retreated, leaving the tavern with muttered curses leaving their lips. 

Your savior leaned back into his chair, a smirk adoring his features as he placed his hat back on his head. For a moment, you both just stared at each other, you in shock and him in some state of glee. You decided to speak first. 

“Who are you?” 

“The name’s Kenny.” He kicked his other leg up on the table with a thwack! as the spur hit the cracked wood. The silence grew again, but this time you were at a loss for words. Sure, his name was Kenny, but was that all he was going to say? Apparently not, but when he spoke up again, it was entirely unhelpful. “That was fun, wasn’t it?”

You frowned, unamused. “Maybe for you. I should punch you for some of the things you said. Strange men shouldn’t talk to unassuming ladies like that.” Your tone was laced with a bit of sarcasm, and he guffawed.

“I don’t think fugitives from the crown can be considered ladies,” he shot back, and you huffed. His face grew serious. “I’ve been watching you for a while, kitten.”

You raised your eyebrows at the nickname. “It’s Y/N, and, uh, what?” Once again, this man completely took you by surprise. 

He shrugged. “You may not know it yourself, kitten, but you’re well known down here in the Underground. A mysterious girl who arrives without a sound, stealing from the above-grounders and sharing the wealth with the rest of us? You’re practically a legend; some people don’t even believe you’re real, but those that do would protect you with their life.”

This was all news to you. Yes, those were things that you did, but people recognized you for it? You furrowed your eyebrows and blinked quickly as you tried to puzzle the situation out. “I…” You struggled for words.

Kenny held up a hand. “It’s true whether you believe it or not… But, it seems that you’ve bitten off a little more than you can chew this time, my friend. Stealing from the Premier? Tsk, tsk.” His tone was more playful than condescending, and you gave him a weary grin. 

You sighed and finally relaxed back into your own chair, studying the man’s face. It showed his experience rather than his age, and you wondered just exactly who he was. Taking a chance, you pried for more information. You hated being in the dark. “So, you didn’t answer my question. Who are you?” 

His smile grew at your curiosity, crooked teeth appearing under chapped lips. “Someone who can help you. If you want it, that is. It seems clear you like to work on your own.” There was a challenge laced into his words, and you wondered what the right decision was. On one hand, getting involved with someone else, someone else you knew nothing about at that, was a dangerous game. On the other, you were in trouble and you needed all the help you could get. 

Taking a chance, you slowly nodded. “Okay. What do you have in mind?” 

He explained his plan. The MP’s didn’t know your name, so it would be easy to get above ground using your old Wall Sina papers. After you expressed your concern and with a chuckle, he dismissed their drawing of you, stating that once you got above ground and cleaned up, you would be unrecognizable from your old self. Then, with his next words, you lost your confidence in his plan. 

“You want me… to join the Survey Corps?” You shook your head in disbelief. “Uh, no way. That’s right under the government’s noses!” 

He brushed you off. “Eh, not really. The government already dislikes the Corps. They’re not gonna care who’s in it; they figure you’ll all die soon enough.” At that, you gave him a very blank stare, and he just laughed, stealing a swig from your mug. “You’ll be fine. You don’t seem like the dying type.”

It was true, you had escaped the jaws of death on multiple occasions, but you weren’t in the business of actively riding towards your demise. That seemed plain idiotic to you, and you made that known. “This isn’t a joke. It’s my life on the line,” you countered.

With a swift movement, his legs were off of the table and his body was leaning in towards yours, the weight on his elbows making the table creak. His eyes turned dark, levelling your gaze. “It’s your life either way. Would you rather die by the hands of the Military Police after they’ve done God-knows-what to you? Or would you rather die on your own terms, possibly fighting for Humanity’s freedom?” 

It was a good question, a fair question, and one you immediately knew the answer to. You sucked in a breath as you resigned yourself to your new fate. “So, how do we do this?” 

With another grin, Kenny explained the rest of his plan. It really wasn’t a bad idea, and you were grateful for the help. But still uncertainty settled in your stomach.

The day you were to join the Corps, Kenny had told you he would meet you before you left. You hadn’t seen him in about a week, and in that time, you had completely changed yourself, moving up top, getting a haircut, and finally wearing clean, untorn clothes. It was weird and different, but a part of you enjoyed it. This was a new start, you had chosen to believe.

“Kitten!” You turned towards the easily recognizable voice with a roll of your eyes, but the playful smile that toyed with your lips gave away your true feelings. “Give me a spin!” He requested, and when you did, he let out a loud whistle. “Damn, you really look like you belong up here.”

You raised your eyebrows with a grin. “That’s the point, right?” 

“Precisely, my friend, precisely.” Slinging an arm over your shoulders, he began to walk with you towards where the ferry would pick you up. His pace was slow, obviously not in a rush to say goodbye, and you felt the same. Somehow, the two of you had grown close over the past month. Even with all of the secrets you both kept from each other, there was an air of freedom when you were in the other’s presence. No lies, no false personalities, just friendship. 

It was refreshing, to say the least.

For once, you both were quiet as you walked. The weight of the future hung over both of you, pressing your mouths shut. He managed to speak first, his voice cracking for the first time since you met him and giving away his true emotions. 

“Stay safe, kitten.” The words were serious, and something in him couldn’t stand to let that be the last thing he said. “You’ll kick those Titans’ asses.” 

Normally, you’d laugh, or at least smile, at his cheesy jokes. Instead, you stopped walking and turned until you both faced each other, looking up to meet his eyes. With a swallow, you asked something of him that you knew was unfair, was selfish, was wrong. Yet, you still asked, knowing Kenny wouldn’t hold it against you. 

“Promise me you won’t die before me.” 

His eyes softened in understanding, crinkles forming around their edges as he gave you the most gentle of smiles. He knew what you needed to hear, knew it would be a lie, knew you’d hate him for it. But, he said it anyway.

“I promise.”

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

there for you

summary: your best friend Bowen can’t help but draw some connections between you and your favorite show. 

word count: 2k

warnings: heavy spoilers for New Girl. like, its basically the premise of the fic

note from the writer: here’s a link to a tweet with the scene im talking about in this fic, its from the episode “Oregon” (season 4 ep 16). shoutout to @bqstqnbruin​ for finding it for me

Bowen had long since stopped asking to come over before showing up on your doorstep. Usually, he’d send a ‘are you home?’ text to make sure you were around, before heading to your apartment for whatever reason he had in mind.

The latest text had come in twenty minutes ago, so you knew he was going to show up soon.

Like clockwork, you heard a knock on your front door and Bowen greeting your roommates before your bedroom door opened. He was grinning, wide as ever, and you opened your arms for a hug from your position laying in bed, under the covers and in the middle of a New Girl marathon.

“Scoot over.” Bowen grins, barely giving you enough time to react before dropping on top of you, arms wrapped around your middle and his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck. You paused the show, not wanting to miss anything despite being on your third rewatch.

You wondered if he could feel how fast your heart was beating. If he knew just how much his touch affected you, how many feelings you were harboring from him.

“What’s up?” You asked, pushing away any thoughts about your massive crush on your best friend as you tried to get to the bottom of why he showed up out of the blue. It wasn’t the first time he had done so, but he always had a reason.

“I wanted to see you. Practice was rough.” He mumbled in the crook of your neck. Your heart skipped a beat at his words, how they fell past his lips so easily. Those words made you think that maybe your feelings weren’t so one sided, that there was a chance for you to be even happier than you already were with your best friend.

“You’re going to make me blush.” You teased, downplaying the fact that he really did manage to fluster you. Bowen snorted, squeezing you tightly once more instead of responding to your comment. An easy moment of silence passed, one that wasn’t stifling or awkward and it reminded you once more just how much you enjoyed being around Bowen. Subconsciously, one of your hands threaded through his hair. “I like it when your hair is longer like this.”

Your words were punctuated by a tug on his roots and though he didn’t say anything, he hummed contentedly. You worried that maybe he’d be able to hear the hammering of your heart or he’d know that the smile on your face wasn’t because of your platonic love for him. You feared that he would know—know how much you loved him and know that you had been hiding your feelings for so long. But you couldn’t let yourself think too much about that, you couldn’t let yourself overthink and ruin one of your closest friendships, so you tactfully changed the subject.

“Are we napping or watching my show?” You asked, though you had a pretty good idea what his answer would be.

“Nap, please.” He mumbled, and you could never deny him, especially when he was acting so sleepy and adorable, so you agreed easily. You both shifted your positions slightly, you trying to find the comfiest spot and him climbing under the covers with you, but eventually you both melted into your mattress, Bowen’s head still buried in the crook of your neck.

Bowen tried to stay awake a little longer; to tell you about his morning and the practice he had just come from that had drained his energy completely. But before long, his words were slurring together and when he stopped mid sentence, you knew he had fallen asleep with his arms wrapped around you and your fingers carding through his hair.

You tried to stay up too, to relish in the feeling of being in his arms. But you knew that pretending like it meant something more than it did was only going to break your heart more, so soon after he dozed off you closed your eyes and followed suit.

You were the first one to wake up, a combinatin of Bowen’s weight on you becoming slightly uncomfortable and the need to use the bathroom, so you did your best to climb out from underneath him without waking him. You thought you had made it out clear, but the moment your feet hit the floor Bowen was stirring from behind you.

“Where are you going?” He mumbled, causing you to halt your movements. It was far from the first time you had heard his gravelly voice just after he woke up, but it never failed to make your heart race. You swore you could listen to him talk forever, which was a good thing, since he never seemed to be able to stop talking.  

“Bathroom. I’ll be right back.” You told him, finally standing to your feet. When you turned back around, Bowen was already watching you with tired eyes that made your heart clench. God, you were so gone for him.

You slipped out of the room without saying anything more, not trusting yourself to not blurt out just exactly how his smile made you feel. When you returned, he was sitting up against your headboard, your laptop open on his lap as he queued up the episode you had been watching before he arrived.

“New Girl again?” Bowen teased when he spotted you enter the room. You playfully rolled your eyes at him, climbing back into your spot beside him on the bed. You mirrored his position, though you dropped your head against his shoulder.

“It’s a good show. Plus, Jess and Nick’s relationship is my favorite.” You told him decidedly, like you had a dozen times before. The relationship between Jess and Nick truly was somehting you strived for—friends that were always in love with each other, no matter the problems that arised and even when they were broken up they did their best to keep the other happy.

“Fair enough.” He chuckled, shifting slightly so that his arm was around you and he could hold you closer to his side. “What episode are we on?”

“Oregon.” You started, knowing you’d have to catch him up on more than just the episode name. “Jess, Cece, and the guys go to Portland because Jess’ dad is getting married. Jess’ boyfriend, Ryan, was supposed to show up but since he lives in England he said it wouldn’t make sense for him to be there. So, Nick’s trying to make Jess feel better because he secretly loves her and I just need them to get back together.”

“Don’t they end up together though?” Bowen asks, trying to recall as much about the show as he could. It might not have been one of his personal favorites, but he knew you loved it, so that was enough for him to try and follow along.

“Yeah, but they aren’t right now.” You confirm. Before Bowen could ask anymore questions, you pressed play on your laptop and continued where you left off. Jess and the group had just arrived at her childhood home, only to find her mom ready to greet Ryan, who wasn’t there. The scene played on, with Nick telling Jess the hard truth that Ryan bailing wasn’t okay.

You could feel Bowen’s eyes on you as the scene changed to Nick comforting Jess in her room. Giggling at the Jordan Catalano joke, you tried your best to focus on the screen and not the piercing blue eyed gaze that seemed to be studying your face. And, like you always did when you got to this scene, you bit your lip to supress a grin as Nick delivered his next line.

“The only thing that matters is that the guy is there for you when you need him. Otherwise, you’re dating a wall.”

“Are you even paying attention, Bow? That’s like, my favorite line. What I wouldn’t give to have someone love me the way Nick loves Jess.” You sighed, settling further against Bowen as the episode continued on. He didn’t say anything in response, other than a quiet hum, but for the rest of the episode you could practically hear the gears turning inside his head as he turned his attention to the screen.

Netflix automatically continued on to the next episode, but as soon as the intro started Bowen’s hand shot out and paused the show. You looked at him curiously; the two of you usually got through at least a couple of episodes whenever you hung out like you were then.

“You know…” Bowen started, trailing off before he finished his thought. He wasn’t meeting your gaze, and it was clear that what he wanted to say was on the tip of his tongue so you stayed silent while he found his words. “I’m always there for you.”

You felt your heart stop beating and skip three beats all at once. You weren’t sure where he was going with his train of thought, but if you had to guess you would be getting your hopes up. Because there was absolutely no way that he felt the same for you that Nick does for Jess.

“Yeah, you are…” You breathed, trying to get him to meet your gaze but instead he stayed focused on your comforter pulled over both of your laps. The hand that wasn’t around your shoulders was toying with the fabric, and in a bid to calm him down enough to get him to say what he needed you slipped your hand into his. Bowen drew in a steadying breath and finally met your gaze, a dozen and one emotions swirling behind his eyes.

“I love you, you know.” He said firmly, like there was no question about it in the slightest and not the very words you had been dying to hear from him for years. You nodded, unable to form words but not wanting to leave him hanging.

You supposed you did know that he loved you. He showed it in his blatant affection and the frequent texts about how his life was going. He cared for you, there was no doubt about it, but you had never let yourself believe that he meant anything more than friendship. And now he was offereing everything you’d ever wanted on a silver platter.

“Bowen,” You started, but you couldn’t find the words to tell him just how much you loved him back. Instead, you moved the hand that wasn’t wrapped up in his to rest on Bowen’s jaw, turning his head just slightly so that you could press your lips to yours in a long awaited kiss that stole your breath.

Kissing Bowen felt so much better than what you imagined. The angle was a little odd and your neck was craned to face him, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. You’d share a thousand more awkwardly positioned kisses if it meant you got to be with Bowen.

You were the first to pull away, but you didn’t move far, wide grins on both of your faces as you took in the events of the past few moments. Your friendship was definitely changed, and in place was a relationship that you had been hoping for.

“I love you, too.” You finally mumbled. You wanted to tell him how you had loved him from the moment you met, how he made you fall in love with him with each and every day, but for the moment all that mattered was he knew you loved him just the same as he loved you.

“I hope, or else this is going to be awkward.” He mumbled playfully, leaning in again to close the distance between the two of you. You couldn’t help but chuckle against him, your hand slipping from his jaw to curve around the back of his neck in order to deepen the kiss.

Bowen was the Nick to your Jess, and not a day went by that you weren’t greatful for him.

[jesslockwood]

rakes | chapter one

pairing: regency!Harrison Osterfield x regency!reader

words: 2.3k ish

warnings:  bridgerton s1 spoilers, swearing I think? little bit of smut

a/n: im so excited for this series. Like I'm obsessed with Bridgerton and have been reading the books so this is my take at a story like this :)

series masterlist

Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers

We have finally bestowed ourselves upon a new season's rush, which has every eligible lady hoping to have a suitor or a few lined up by the first night, at least enough to keep the vicious mama’s off their backs, and the many of suitors looking for a wife to bear their next of kin. Now that the diamond of the last season is formally wed, I ask dear reader, who else shall we look to for this season’s most eligible? Perhaps we should be looking to someone new in town, who has arrived as the formal company to the Duke, and now may I say Duchess of Hastings. It is said to have seen the late Earl of Beaumont’s daughter’s arrival. It is said she is an old family friend of the young duke’s late mother. She has apparently come all the way from France, and may I say reader, after her first tragic entrance into society we can only hope things go well, or you'll hear about it from myself. She carries on the last lineage to the family, as her estranged aunt had bore no children. It is said, however, the new Earl of Beaumont is no other than the bastard child of Lady Y/n’s uncle. Let us all hope the venom that was brought onto that family has not reached the young and upcoming Lady Y/n, nor the Earl of Beaumont.

However, dear reader, the recent Viscount Featherington has mysteriously passed, leaving his wife, Lady Feathrington, and three daughters, to fend the ton. Perhaps once they are presented this year, they shall have better luck at becoming the season’s most eligible as they will need that luck for our most eligible suitor.

As of note, reader, our most eligible suitor since the duke is now officially out of the game, I turn your eyes upon the new Viscount Holland. Since the passing of the Lord’s father, he is now the most worthy of the title of most eligible. With not only his charming looks, but he is also said to be. He now has the duty of finding a wife to carry on the Holland name. All I can say for sure is he is the one to look for at a soiree and without acting quick, perhaps Lady Y/n will catch the eye of the most eligible suitor now.

It is heard also dear reader the most infamous rake of the ton, Son of the late Viscount Osterfield, Lord Osterfield is to be back in town. Maybe he will be looking to catch the eye of some ladies of the ton, but beware dear reader, Lady’s and Mama’s as his reputation upholds itself, and may not change anytime soon.

“Thomas! Have you read this yet?!”

Patrick Holland, the youngest of the four Holland Brothers comes yelling, almost rushing into the Viscount’s study like a paperboy.

The Eldest of the four looks at the boy’s hand, to only read one gossip paper title.

“Paddy, I do not read rubbish such as Lady Whistledown.” Thomas sighs trying to get his late father’s affairs in order.

Dominic had only left the name of his successor as Tom, and no instructions of how to do anything other than making sure everything was in order. Although he was in such luck to not have sisters such as his friend, Viscount Anthony Bridgerton, and having to deal with finding worthy matches for them, he still had to keep his brothers in line, such as not mucking up a lady’s virtue, or getting caught in any sort of scandal for Lady Whistledown to sniff out like a bloodhound.

“But Tom! She writes about you!” Paddy mentions in haste.

“What is all this yelling about!?” Harold Holland, the eldest of the twin brothers slips into the study along with said twin brother, Samuel Holland

“Harry, Sam, Tell Tom to read the recent Lady Whistledown! She mentions the Earl of Beaumont’s daughter and Tom-“

“Really? Give it here!” Harry snatches the paper out of his hands, before reading it with Sam over his shoulder.

After reading it the room fell silent for a minute. The three youngest deep in thought.

“Isn’t Lady Y/n the only one to be debuted and be out of a season before its end?” Sam asks “It’s never been heard of but apparently she never got any proposals-“

“Do you think Osterfield will try and sweep her off her feet? He did write two days ago of his late arrival into the season.” Harry mentions.

“Yeah but not before he tries to get under her skirt Harry-“ Sam gently shoves his twin.

“What If she’s ugly? Sam? Harry? What will he do then?” Paddy quips back.

“You of the lot could try and get with her then!” Harry says and shoves Sam back. Soon enough the whole room is filled with lighthearted arguing from the brothers.

“ENOUGH!” Thomas yells over them rubbing his temples. “That is enough.”

They all mumble apologies.

Tom sighs, “I’m sorry myself. Father just left a lot for me, and you three need not get into trouble. Especially with the Lady with her popularity, and even more, not Lady Whistledown… Now let me see what the pompous lady wrote about me.”

“I cannot bear to leave you two, all to find a man to keep my family line going. How frivolous -”

“Oh come on Y/n! You do wish to lie to me when I know finding company of a husband is all you dreamed of since you were a girl.”

“Yes well Simon, if I only could make a wife as lovely as yours, then I would be worthwhile to have a husband and some children of my own such as your family.” You smile down in Daphne’s arms, where their son lies, “Yet you know how much I do despise not traveling the world, as far away from my aunt’s claws as possible.”

“Ah yes, your Aunt Beast-rice- I mean Beatrice.”

“Simon! Not funny! If she heard you from here she’d kill you with just one look at her beastly form!” you joke back.

After the laughter calms down you bid your goodbyes.

“I mustn’t keep the queen waiting, nor your gracious family Hosting me Daphne. I thank you dearly again for letting me stay after, well,-”

“It is no problem at all. Now make Haste, as I know my siblings and Mama have many questions for you already. Especially Eloise! She is excited to know about your travels!”

“And I shall answer them all! Goodbye, your Graces!”

“And to you, Lady Y/n!” Daphne replies.

Stepping up into your carriage you nod towards your old friend and wave to his wife, before settling into your seat for the journey ahead.

You had never in a million years thought Simon of all people would get married, nor that you, well, necessarily wouldn’t want to. After all that had happened in the past three years, your parents passing, and all the scandal and sabotage your family went through, well it seemed impossible for yourself to ever be back in London.

It had to be your duty now more than ever to find a husband so that the witch of your aunt couldn’t grasp her vicious claws and try to ruin you as well. After what your uncle did, it would be sacrilegious to do so, so the only fate for you was finding a worthy match to keep you in the comfort of knowing your family was safe.

Love was not on the table anymore, at least it is what you thought. Your parents had a rare love, and in one season, you knew you couldn’t find it that easily, as your fate was more like a business transaction rather than a place for finding the one for you.

At least you had faith in the new Earl to help you find a match. The two of you had been friends as children, of the ripe age of you at four and him at seven, the two of you had been inseparable, almost like you were siblings. As you got older, you were convinced that no matter his bloodline, you were his sister. Your father had instilled that family bond in the two of you. Even the staff would say “Y/n and William are an inseparable pair of siblings”.

That is until the actual wicked man, Willam’s father tried to get him to claim his rightful place as the next real Earl since he was your uncle's bastard child, and there were no other “strong options”. The man even tried to find a way to get himself to be the Earl of Beaumont years before. He had brought this upon William’s seventeenth birthday, interrupting the whole party after not seeing any of the family for six years. Uncle Hugh had never come after marrying his new wife, Aunt Beatrice.

You had never met the new woman your uncle married at that point, you could only remember your Aunt Anne Mysteriously passing suddenly before your uncle Hugh had married the beast. At the age of eight, you were convinced she had some sort of spell on your uncle, as you found weird herbs in her chambers when they got married. Your Mother brushed it off when you tattled and told you it was probably just to make some rouge or something with it. You were still convinced she was bewitching everyone.

When William refused to take ownership of the title, uncle Hugh was livid. Then he decided to take matters into his own hands.

You brush off the chills in your spine even thinking about your debut into society. It was the most wretched night of your life.

“We are here Lady Y/n.”

You shake off the memories, coming back into reality, stepping out into the inn Simon suggested you stay in, instead of riding in the night.

It was quaint and small, it was nice for a place like this, though you had stayed in worse places in your travels.

You stepped out of your carriage and headed into the inn.

You couldn’t sleep. It was two days before your debut back into society and you kept waking up sweating with nightmares, or hearing the pounding and a woman and a man yelling- or something of the sorts- through the walls. You had the urge almost to go knock on their door to tell them that they were being too loud, yet you didn’t.

How on earth were you supposed to get up at an unholy hour to ride half of the day only to be swept up into the chaos of being introduced back into society the moment you were to arrive. You had to get many dresses, shoes, rouge, and hair accessories, and plenty more to just begin your day. All with pushing past everything of what you even began to feel about it all.

Your parents were not going to be there. Never to see any of the firsts of you getting betrothed, or wedding to your betrothed, having children, or even possibly, by chance, the love you would share in your life. Your world had come crashing down when they died, so how could you possibly build it again without them there?

Harrison Osterfield was taking a promenade in this lady’s well- I think you’ll get the picture. As she laid on the bed moaning as he thrust into her, the bed in the inn halfway toward his home was shaking and banging on the paper-thin walls with his powerful movements. He was a known regular at the inn and in England, he was known as one of the most infamous rakes in town. Being so of his reputation, he kept it to a high standard. She was a performer of some sort- that he could not remember- traveling back with him on his journey for pleasure purposes. He had just finished round three, of intercourse, after a few rounds of, well other such naughty yet delightful actions that took place.

“AH!” she moaned orgasming, Katie? Was it? Or was it Kitty?. Harrison couldn’t remember or even care to.

He kept thrusting a few times more until he pulled out and came into a handkerchief.

After being all intercourse-d out she sleepily rolled over her naked form, grabbing her things. She knew this is where her stop was ending with him and was going back to her room, to travel with her relative who was also in the business the next day.

“Thanks for the ride m’lord.” she mocked slightly after getting dressed in her nightgown heading to her room, “until next time”

Harrison just smirked back.

Laying back onto the covers after the smell of sex, he thought how his stepfather James, had warned him of his current status of rakishness hindering him from finding a bride.

He’d prove he could woo any woman, and make her fall so deeply in love with him that she would want to marry him. And that was his plan this season. Last season’s diamond of the first water was married in a whirlwind, so he assumed he could do it quicker and get a new reputation among the ton, by marrying her.

Then at least his sister Charlotte wouldn’t be doomed when she was introduced to society in the next few years, that she could marry whomever her heart desired. And at least, he could help her from changing his reputation, by marrying. His rakish days of course would be over, but at least he could change their minds on the Osterfield Family.

@spideyspeaches @greenorangevioletgrass @take-me-to-ny