#im so pissed at a lot rn this isnt another thing i want

[ofcowardiceandkings]

when the possibility for art theft was like ... an entitled douche or a kid who doesnt get it , it was kind of bearable to risk sharing art online but fuuckk mannn

i dont want every powerdrunk tech bro to scrape the soul out of all my art without me knowing or consenting just to train their stupid robot brain to do art badly

where the fuck are we supposed to have creative communities now

[akgaereporter]

txt: soobin catching strays for *checks notes* watching an anime..

tldr: a pann article(?) was starting shit abt an anime soobin mentioned on a live from MONTHS AGO. the anime (made in abyss) has some disturbing/horror/gore themes. he said he thought it was boring and was hesitant to recomend it to moas in the live. but in another live he had with seungkwan, he said he watched it because woozi mentioned it and then said he recommended it to sk. moas started making it a real issue, saying "if u defend him for this block me" & implying he endorsed the themes in the anime. sigh..

when ur in a meat eating competition and ur opponents are soobin antis who call themselves moas😱😱😱😱😱 yall are annoying as fuck all shade.. leave him ALONE abeg

tonight soobins name is trending on twt dot com for something other than the seunghan live or pannchoa making shit up about him😓 apparently (because i couldnt find it) a REAL kr pann article, not flopchoa, was made resurfacing an old live of him talking about animes he's watched. one of them was made in abyss, a psychological horror anime that is meant to be disturbing.

in this live he says that its not something he wants to recommend to moas because of the themes in it. after the clip started making rounds on twt however, people brought up the fact that he'd mentioned it before and said he enjoyed it.

now lets not jump to conclusions like SOME lewsers and realize here that the anime version of made in abyss that's available in korea is highly censored. it reduced the s3xual/problematic scenes that were in the manga, and had a lot of stuff cut out of it that made it bad.

but even if this wasnt the case, its so silly to suggest that u endorse every piece of media u watch☠️ are u a vehicle if i watch cars 2?? are u a murderer if u watch true crime?? are u gay if u watch heartstopper? well yes but lets please use some critical thinking here friends

the first two screenshots from his live alone should be the end of this discussion because thats obviously how he really feels. but noooo user28247943 on twt.com always has to create some thinkpiece for other no brain having ass kpop stans to like and rt and make blockchains abt.. exhibit a:

like what the hell r these people yapping about. me when im trying SOOOO HARD im PISSING and CRAPPING MYSELF to make this grown man from south korea who has no idea i am look like a bad person☠️

yeonternet was the person who started all this bs tho. idk if theyre the one who brought the pann article to twt but their tweets abt it are so braindead lord.. this person had over 1k follows trying to police what an adult man watches & saying it makes her uncomfortable that he does.. girl dont watch what he watches then?? and after shitting out that steaming load of crap shawty deactivated without clarification cause she couldnt take the heat ! ikdr never come back

++apparently the author of made in abyss admitted that they used the show to portray their s3xual fantasies abt children but even hardcore watchers of the show didnt know that like..

also when he initially said all this in the live the response was fawking normal as it should be..

bc it isnt just gore and horror and nasty scenes, it has worldbuilding elements, characters, plot, etc that people enjoy it for. its rated highly and its so fucking ridiculous that people were genuinely throwing around the word PEDO for stupid shit like this. when actual pedos show up yall wont even be able to recognize them through the serious justice warrior twitter brainrot thats spreading rn..

but the bottom line here is that its pretty clear people are trying to start a smear campaign on soobin. the pann article itself was just nasty akgaes and antis adding onto the hate train hes been getting since the sh live thing. and it's just so nasty and horrible to see self proclaimed moas jumping on that the first chance they got like damn bitch ur just a LOSER who never liked sb in the first place. need all of these mfs ran off the app immediately like its concerning to see how many of them have large followings

uarmyeonjun went priv but she had almost 2.5K FOLLOWS before those twts. genuinely be careful who u call oomf like these people are real hybrids all it takes is an alt/priv and a dream for a normal person to turn into a complete FREAK ASS😓 hell is real and its called moaville

a story in 3 parts:

maybe 4

1.3k follows are we not SCARED?

here’s a link to a thread of the clowns in HD ! point and laugh❤️

https://x.com/beomjzns/status/1726102040848527854?s=61

anyways stay safe in these streets trust nobody stay strapped at all times. kpoptwt gets uglier everyday bye

[prisonguards]

@astronomical-bagel

I am. SO terribly sorry about how long this took to reply to, my brain wanted to sit down and write an Essay for u but Ive been. SO BUSY. But seriously Ive been treasuring and hoarding this ask :) its SOOOO so so nice that other people enjoy them as much as I do and Im so happy I could help collect us a little with the tag ^--^ we are all friends now <3 EDIT ALSO TUMBLR ATE THE FUCKING ASK???? I did have screenshot of ur ask thankfully, Im soooo pissed tho idk where it went

So Im gonna go into my history with them a bit cause I kinda got into them backwards ig augshsg. Or at least different from how most ppl in the tag/posting abt them rn are. I was primarily a Traffic and Emp S1 smallidarity guy for the longest time! Funnily enough I was a late adopter of Emp S2 smallidarity (enemies to lovers usually isnt my thing) but the way the community latched onto it and got everyone talking about them really, really got me invested (also getting kin feels helped /shot. Who said that.) I think the other funny thing is that smallidarity is a dynamic where I like the platonic version (almost) equally as much as the romantic—I push for the romantic just because its easiest to collect ppl with a shiptag (although I did intend Smallidarity to be both a platonic and a romantic tag, ftr. Post both! Any! All!) and because I enjoy Complicated dynamics that are easier caught/categorized under a “romantic” lens sometimes even if they arent Necessarily that. But I just love when theyre important to eachother in general.

I actually have Such delusions abt their Traffic dynamic. Im so insane abt it. I think theyre good friends with Joel having slowly building romantic feelings for Jimmy throughout the seasons, which Jimmy is… pretty much aware of and would reciprocate—if Joel would ever ask (he never will). The Last Life dynamic in particular is one that haunts me, because it. Feels like their most amicable Traffic dynamic, at least in my memory, and in no small part of that is Joel pledging to avenge Jimmy (and Mumbo but this is a Smallidarity post isnt it). That small comment profoundly impacts my Traffic Joel characterization and Im planning to incorporate little objects of remembrance for Jimmy into my late game Joel designs. Traffic smallidarity… like many Traffic dynamics that captivate me… its about the missed opportunities, its about the lack of time, its about Tragedy… I just have such bad Last Life brainrot on the mind rn so this has been whats living with me Daily rn.

I also think their 100 Hours is one of the most funny and most OBVIOUSLY flirty dynamics, though I may get into that a bit more with another ask that I got recently, and, well. My Sorry Sir compilation covers a lot of it.

Double Life is what actually converted me but I cannot think of what the Exact moment was. I went back to my messages from when the eps were coming out and.

They immediately got me.

Theres so many good Traffic moments. One day I will make that clip compilation. I swear.

EMPIRES S1……… theyre best friends… I think it would be funny if Joel is independently dating both him and Lizzie and Then they all find out Jimmy and Lizzie are siblings and Joel is like. Oh jesus Christ my type is Even More specific than I thought. Fishkisser boy. Joel making the joke romantic montage of Jimmy before declaring hes gonna be proposing to Lizzie made me. Drop dead. This dynamic is Everything I craved out of them, watching this directly after Double Life and during Emp S2, when theyre most antagonistic, made me fully insane. I LOVE when theyre nice to eachother. So much. Best friends who kiss. Little design headcanon for them is like. Joel is Fully embellished by pearls he gets from Jimmy and Lizzie. I should give Jimmy n Lizzie azaleas to wear in exchange too auughh..

Okay finally circling back to Where We Are Now. Emp S2. These fuckers.

So Im delusional and like it best when theyre Soft right? So even though S2 lends itself So well to toxicity (and dont get me wrong. Sometimes I Gotta indulge) I rlly like making it cutesy as fuck. Joels obsession and complete infatuation and cute aggression is everything. Hes so infatuated with this guy he doesnt know what to do with himself and just is Relentless. schoolyard “hes bullying you because he likes you” type beats. Hes my moron hes my annoying king. I cannot remember if Ive talked abt my design headcanons fully but Im big on the Jimmy Was Human but Joels god powers are Changing That. I think its subconscious, hes not doing it maliciously, reality just bends to his will too much.

Also. Found my decision moments… these are from July 3rd.

I think. Overall the most enthralling thing about them is the care that underlies everything. That despite the endless teasing and bullying, Joel really genuinely care about Jimmy in a way he struggles to express sometimes. I think its really special and charming and compelling. I just have illnesses about them

[single-malt-scotch]

ok so i am home from my vacation and i have only had time to watch bdubs' SL pov and hlf of cleo's rn. regardless wanted to ramble my thoughts on this session and fair warning it isnt gonna be super positive (the short: didnt really like it) so yeah.

reminder though i absolutely Love these people. i love how they play and theyre great and im watching first and foremost bc i like seeing them have fun. my issues lie in the series' mechanics, how it plays, the technical function, management etc.

the thing about watching one pov is i feel like it can also spell out other issues but i will get to that later

obviously the big thing. the "infection" task. listen.... the concept of a boogeyman infection by itself is cool! i like that! but.... not here?????? out of all series.

there is no regen, and this fact is conflicting to me because i feel like the boogey should be struggling against those theyre trying to infect, and minecraft's regen would be that struggle, like it has been for every past boogey chasing their targets.

you have to kill everyone not red? not red???? so like 90% of the server? insane.

this was an EASY TASK........... this pisses me more on what this season's rules have been implied to be. suddenly, they arent really making sense. i will go into this deeper.

this just doesnt seem like the right place to plant this task. it is hugely impactful and feels like it is happening for no reason. if they were going on like 10+ episodes and grian was formally like "well, secret keeper wants this wrapped up so lets see what task hes gonna give all of us!" and then boom, this is it. then cool. make up a proper excuse like wrapping up the season.

it was too much of a shocker, unprepared for, and with how intense it is by needing to kill everyone left it feeling very unfair to the people i was watching. Bdubs had just died previously and now lost all his hearts in one session because of the force of another task. as did many others. if there was to even be any slight alteration to more "fairness" it could have been "the one you killed is now boogey. hand them the book and make them kill someone by themself. you are no longer infected. you cannot kill the person who killed you." or something idk. every part of the server going after one person is way too much.

regarding rules and whatnot, i was already kind of annoyed by this previous session too. there are two tasks now that have me going "how tf is this "easy"?" Bdubs' task of chicken causing damage-- an amount that had to go as high as anyone could stand it-- seems way too harsh as an easy task. there were a few tasks where health could be lost, but none of it was deliberate "lose as much as possible". losing the same amount of health as another player (like grian and joel) is not the same as telling the player they basically need to lose as much as possible compared to someone else in order to win the challenge. grian and etho's hard tasks took a lot of damage (to others mostly lol) but it was a destructive hard task. bdubs' with the dragon was as well.

but gem's task especially... i mean, holy crap. that is a red life's task, or a hard task at most! even if i liked the whole thing i think id still be on the page of saying that is not an "easy" task. a red life getting this task would have been interesting too because it would put a ton of risk on them to survive and get it done. and sure, theyd get some allies in the infected but theyd still be a target in the fights. that would have been tense for them!

cancelling out all of the others' tasks when they were infected made sense but it totally changed the direction of people's videos. it forced them to be different to everyone. suddenly the first quarter or half of the video is just void and pointless. when the tasks basically direct their entire motive and how they act towards everyone, forcing them into big choices they cannot change, i think its bad. social tasks that pass off as kind normal are funny (etho's weeping angel, get scar to talk abt star wars, compliment ppl when they take damage etc), or outward and confusing but not character controlling ones (kill the dragon, connect your base to others, etc). ones that direct a player so strongly shouldnt ruin their interactions with everyone else either (playing tag-- took up a lot of time but players were "neutral" to everyone and carried on as normal).

some people were saying this task could be to speed up the series. im not really sure abt that. regardless i am sure they thought this would just be an interesting thing to do and thats why they did it. (i have seen martyn on here sometimes talking vaguely abt tasks being random and whatnot and no offense to him but it doesnt sound like at all he does have all the information to knowing this. i mean, why would he? hes a player. the admins are doing things he has no clue about. hes not even firmly stating anything. hes just saying what he knows, which i dont think is at all everything the admins are doing in front of them). i have seen this series play with many balance issues through its lifetime and i think this season esp shows a lot of that again. grian stated around one season how theres no play testing really. the admins might run some stuff i guess but theyre not testing much. and thats very obvious when limlife had that issue of deaths not showing in chat (and hey look, it happened again!) or boogey kills in LL and LimLife (along with normal kills in Lim) not being detected by means that were not direct (mechanically this just happens, you cant fix it. but they did not prepare to deal with this at all and it was chaotic to watch in Limlife and caused a lot of confusion on who got time).

i have repeating some of these things about SL already so i dont want to drone on again. i have been kinda neutral to SL because many eps were fine, i didnt love every task (personally didnt like etho getting so many "out of character" ones, like please give this man a break he is so socially awkward its hard to watch). but this session and last session have me not enjoying the task concept.

from the start i just wished this season was about not being able to regen hearts and thats it. i need something simple, dude. its getting convoluted. and its obvious with the amount of hall monitoring and the amount of talk the cc have in these videos telling hall monitors to stop, to explain successes or failures, etc etc. they should have to do that. limlife already had some ppl getting picky about who got time or not but this is even more subjective and confusing!! im sure theyre still having fun and i like seeing them having fun here but as a viewer im just seeing a concept that has too much going on, stuff that doesnt have a simple yes or no answer sometimes and i dont think thats good for a series like this, one that started out so incredibly simple and straight forward.

[submassed]

ok senpiss and osuke megapost right here rn guys im so sorry if i forget anything + if this doesnt make any sense: (im not sorry) (this is just gonna be like. Explaining lore and shit mostly idk idk i might add more as time goes on)

warning i talk and ramble a lot during this i am so sorry to everyone on the senpai fnf tag i will not stop preaching about my two idiots

OK so my brain is fucking massive and huge i have two seperate versions of their relationship because i love how complex the both of them can get (even though senpai is quite literally surface level for like everyone who doesnt know how insane i am about his character and how much ive tried to actually give him More Character)

edit: (i lied theres like three seperate versions but im not going to explain them all because its too much and i already feel bad for talking this much)

the first one is literally just typical, bros not in the game or whatever no game exists its just normal bro time ueah ueah (i call this one Normal) (actually i dont call it that) (idk what to call it) (its the one my brain presets to) (if i dont specify which one it is its most likely this one)

the second one is a little more closer to canon senpai where hes actually in the game & this one is More Upsetting to Me a LOT a lot (ill probably get into this more when i actually have a set idea on what i want this au-ish thing to be about) (whenever im talking about this specific thing ill specify this one)

a little sneak peak on the second one is essentially just. osuke collects games, comes across senpai, they both get attached, osuke realizes how bad its getting, tries to get rid of the cartridge because he wants to focus more on actual life shit, senpai somehow Manages to come back (i explained the whole plot im so mad)

the first one is where like. osuke constantly has to move schools due to his parents travelling for work a lot. eventually he just decides to settle in with his sister and just attend the last year at the hs senpai goes to or whatever.

osuke is A COMPLETE LONER!!!!!!! HES A FREAK!!!!!! and HATES MAKING FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!! and senpai is just like Holy fuck whats up dude hey whats Up hey and just gets Ignored by osuke entirely which Pisses him off because how dare you ignore the most popular guy in School?????

so senpai just. Continuously tries to bother him so they Can be atleast Friends. Wgich OSUKE he fucking hates it because hes like "waaahhh waaahhhh whats the whole point its not gonna last waaahh waaahhhh"

but he manages to soften up and get used to it which THEN causes their initial friendship or whatever.

senpai obvs isnt gonna let all that work go to waste as soon as he became close with him Because He Realized How fucking Annoying Osuke also Is but he doesnt Mind jt because at first they are #Besties

they kinda have some sort of like "lets make fun of people together" bond Becsude They Are both Pieces of shits except one of them is popular snd another one is just Bitter and A Loner

Im not too sure how they got together yet, i hsvent decided on it. I'm kinda leaning towards the side where senpai is conflicted with these sorta feelings and isnt sure How to actually say it to Him because. Wow! Being friends with a loner? Already Damaged your View on others! And then WANTING TO DATE HIM??? WOW!!!!!!!

plus with the fact that like they most def have some sort of complexity between eachother where osuke is hella fucking jealous about his social status at school whereas senpai is SUPER SUPER SUPER jealous about osukes just. way of not Caring about what people think of him (he foes care he just tries to not let it bother him too much) (it bothers him but he doesnt say it outwardly) (he has a lot of internal shit stuck in him)

its like????? kinda tense but also not????? like the frustration fuels them both in a way if that makes sense (like their love for eachother?????? i dont know)

id like to think there wasn't just a confession it was more so pf just a awkward like, "oh shit we're pretty close, oh fuck wait hold on youre doing this rn????? dude youre kisisng me whay the fuck????? dude??????? are we like a thing now what?????? hellow??????"

i know that senpai would Probably Want there to be a confession originally but osuke is actually too fucking dense to connect two and two together (mainly due to the previous factor of him not really having much friends + having to move on so quickly and Not really processing it fully)

i just really like intimacy between them i think its really sweet seeing it 🦭

thats all i can really think of rn so ill wrap it up enjoy this big ass thread about me talking about my stupid guys i apologize again

[blackfairy312]

What would their Mincraft houses look like? And what is their biggest fear? (Fnac3)

🔥answering more of theeeese heheeh

i actually had a minecraft house for Komi once but it's lost o an old computer that doesnt work anymore 😭 it was shaped after a Black Box from Evillious (her "heart") and had a few bedrooms upstairs for herself and her kids and a HUUUGE kitchen and a fancy bathroom and a greenhours and a nise backyard an then like, a secret evil basement . i wish i had pictures of it.

dawg if these assholes played Minecraft together it would probablt be a server Komi made and she only gave Antonio moderator permissions bc she doesnt trust the other two with that . Antonio woukd make a statue of Vinnie and set it on fire to piss Vincent off. Komi spends most of the time building and decorating things and organizing bc she likes being productive (or else she'll start doing crazy shit). like these assholes she works with would probably be too busy fucking around in the game to focus on what theyre doing so Komi would make one house for them all to live in and make rooms for them all . every time the guys come back to base they'll see Komi in the middle of putting a redstone contraption together and they'll drop styff off in chests and explore the base little bc there's new stuff Komi added and then they'll leave to fuck around again . AND SOMEHOW Komi will have full neatherite armor and shit . everyone like "DUDE how did you find the time for this?" meanwhile all Vincent Richard and Antonio have been doing have probably been like . Naming chickens "Bitch" and hangint them from trees to throw eggs at them and harassing villagers or hanging around the pillager mansion like idiots . every time they die they have to ask Antonio or Komi to /tp them to someone else so they can get their shit.

and biggest Fears ... i already said in another postbut Komi is afraid of getting attached to humans but like she always does that anyway. smeting about her immortality VS their mortality and how they're destined to die and she's destined to leave .i guess she copes with this by CLINGING onto the memories she makes with the humans she meets in the Multiverse . and taking some suveniors from each world. Actually she has the original Vinnie puppet ! she kept that .

Vincent's biggest fear is people finding out who he really is .. a Manipulator Mainsplainer Mansluaghter er . he doesnt want to lose everything he doesnt want to be a 'normal person' he WANTS TO BE SOMEBODY. his biggest fear is LOSING. thats probably why he cheats at hide & seek as Monster Vinnie in the final night.

Antonio's biggest fear is ending up like his dad . as he's been raising himself and his siblings and observing his parents he's made a mental note of his dad's behaviors and how he NEVER WANTS TO END UP LIKE HIM . you can think ofhis dad like Clay Puppington maybe ? idk i just saw a moral orel clip this morning and now im thinkin about that show again . NO SORRY I FORGOT ANTONIO IS A LOT LIKE KENNY MCCORMICK , his parents just arent crackheads they're alcholics . but Yeah Antonio is TRYING to get himself together but tbh Vincent being an awful boss is ADDING to Antonio's stress and its not good for his mental health at ALL. he was probably seeing a therapist and was going to AA meetings but then ONE DAY he got into a fight with Vincent backstage and he went home and spiraled again. undoing his progress. Ywah im projecting heavy.

Richard's biggest fear is probably something tamer than everyone elses . for now anyway he isnt really complex in my mind like the other Three are rn 😭😭😭😭 SERIOUSLY THE GAME GIVES ME NOTHING TO WORK WITH WHICH IS FINE B FNAC 3 HAS AMAZING STORY TELLING BUT IN THE CONTEXT OF ME TRYING TO EXPAND ON WHAT'S THERE I DONT HAVE MUCH FOR THE CAT ACTOR .

[forestryfae]

i dont. understand. when are they expecting us to be able to do laundry. i have an hour in the morning i guess but i physically cant get myself out of bed unless its absolutely the last minute and they dont wait for you to hang up your laundry, theyll just drive away from you.

theres also an hour right after i come home from work but generally i need it to change clothes or shower and to regain some of my energy.

after dinner theres like 2 hours but jesus christ i JUST got back from work and i share laundryday with another guy, i have no idea how much laundry hes gonna do

then theres a meeting every other monday and a dumb bullshit hike that takes like 2 hours then were back around 7:30 or 8 i think and generally after a long tiring hike where noone waits for you so you dont get even one break even tho your legs are burning there isnt much energy for laundry. and then theres that one meal we get afterwards as a reward or whatever for the hike and then at 9 they lock the laundryroom.

so theres like 1 and a half hours there too ig but who has the fucking energy. we need showers too. and to eat. so like yeah theres like a few hours here and there and one load of laundry takes half an hour with the big machine but thats still a very tight schedule. esp considering they REALLY want us to go on the hikes cus its An AcTiViTy ThAtS gOoD fOr YoU.

like. i have limited energy and i only have so much time in the day. i can only do so much in one day before i run out of energy and i need to be allowed to be tired and need to rest too. i dont function well on tuesday evenings specifically because im exhausted. its why i take wednesdays and fridays off. i need the extra rest and time. like. idk how to even explain it without sounding lazy and whiny and kinda pathetic for not being able to do a million things a day back to back. but i actually need time to decompress and shit. idk.

the point ismondays are a shit day to do laundry, i dont want to do it on wednesdays cus i like to have time off but im expected to clean my room the millisecond i wake up and im more often than not woken up with "good morning, what are you going to do today, i think you should do laundry and cleanyour room" like thanks now i cant get out of bed until 12 and i cant do anything i was planning to do cus yall wont stop fucking pestering me if i dont do whats expected of me every single minute im alive, and they never fucking check when i actually do clean and usually cleaning my room results in 'you missed a spot'. like why even botver. its so fucking stressfull and i dont know how to stop bekng stressed and when people try to help they make it worse and itpisses me off so much, i hate having people mess witvmy stuff and moving shit around and touching fucking dirty clothes then moving clean stuff.

like jesus christ im allowed to be tired. i need to be allowed to have hobbies and free time that doesnt result in my brain being occupied by being pissed cus someone told me what im Supposed to do instead of just allowing me to fucking do what i need or want to do. like can i get five fucking minutes where i dont feel guilty cus i dont shower fast enough or i dont mop the floor fast enough and i dont walk fast enough and im not strong enough to just do shit without ever getting tired or needing rest.

were not even doing real therapy rn, i wanted a psychologist and i still havent gotten one, i wanted to talk to the economics guy and i still havent been able to, i cant talk to anyone who isnt my primary contact and i have no idea how to even reach out to her plus shes not always working so i dont always see her, and like. a lot of the time i feel like whatever i say is just Too Emotional and its not actually worth the time but my guy my parents have been treating me like i dont deserve to exist in front of them since i was a fucking toddler and when i got bullied in school my parents thought that was my own fault for getting angry that i was being treated like shit. i didnt fucking grow up with people who cared about me unless it suited them, im fucking allowed to be upset and confused and terrified and worried about shit. it makes perfect sense that i dont understand any fucking thing and im struggling so fucking much. i should be getting help and getting rid of the shitty fucking house and getting diagnosed and maybe even medicated. i should be in fucking therapy and i should be talking to SOMEONE about shit instead of sitting in my room crying every weekend cus i dont know whats wrong with me and im starting to get worried that im just too fucked up to be fixable or atleast able to be liked by people

in other news the laundrymachine was taken and theres stuff hanging to dry cus the people working here did laundry today and now i have to wait until saturday and i have like 2 tshirts and 2 pants and one bra and one sweater thats clean and that will not last until monday

[maaaxx]

Whats the hecles thing? Is it atla or fandom related?

😈

Sorry I took a while to answer this I was trying to figure out what all I wanted to reveal about this.

No, Hecles isn't fandom related. But this book that im working on rn (cots not ihiap) is kind of inspired by it in a way.

This is probably going to be a longish post so the rest is under the cut

Hecles is a personal project im working on. I might turn it into an actual books one day but im not sure. Its a really neat story line and the characters are some of my favorite ocs ive created and yeah.

Okay so Im going to give what details i want to share and then talk about the actual characters. My thought process through this is going to be not at all organized.

Eris

History

Eris is a kingdom in this story thing that has a civil war going on. Its a the people vs the government type of thing. And inspired by both the American and French revolution.

The government and royal family is extremely corrupt, and took resources from the lower classes, but the lower classes have been able to survive for nearly a century with this war going on.

Its less of a war and more of the lower class people were revolting and causing a lot of problems and so the government started killing them.

Im calling it a war for a lack of better word. This part of the story is still extremely underdeveloped and is all over the place.

There is a magic system that again is extremely underdeveloped but the premise of it is the royal family is thought to be descended from one of the Universes secondary Gods.

There is a lot of biblical undertones in this but this part isnt it.

There is one 'primary' god, Rora.

And then there are 'secondary' gods.

One of which is Derisue. Eris is obviously part of the name. And this is the one that supposedly chose the royal family to rule by giving them magical abilities.

The reason Derisue decided to give these people magic was because this specific group of people were near extinct from another war that happened centuries ago. So this group of 50 ish people get these powers (there was a system to determine who got them) and were able to fight back and save their type of people and these people gets put in power.

A few more generations and their descendants start to be power hungry and all turn on eachother.

Theres this mini war battle thing and some die and some run away and the one that is left declares themself Queen.

Like I said, some run away and these ones all have kids too and so theres the royal family who have magic and then theres the ones who run away and they kind of introduce this magic into the general population. So theres a very small percentage of people who have magical abilities in this kingdom.

The royal family sees this as a threat and start hunting down these people. But then the rest of the population sees their nighbors and friends being executed and imprisoned and are like 'hey wtf' and get pissed off with the royal family. This leads to rebellions and the royal family punishes these people by taking resources and increases taxes and shit and thus starts the civil war thing.

Propaganda makes the nobility and royal family think theyre in the right naturally.

Something else to note about the magic system is that the further down the generations go the more diluted this becomes. Its kind of recessive too, so you might have someone who has very strong magic but then their sibling is really weak.

So then with all that context you get to where the story takes place.

Magnis and Titas are the princess and prince of Eris.

Titas is a prophet and has a lot of other more minor magic things that havent been established yet. He's like 10-12 years old during the story.

Magnis is the first person in the family to not have powers. Shes 15-16 ish.

The interesting thing about prophets is that they are extremely rare. Like there is only one other person known to have this power besides Titas and thats the son of the first Queen that i mentioned.

The one of the sons prophecies is of a person who is the child of Rora. (the primary god). Meaning this person has the strongest magic of anyone alive at the time because theyre a first generation and like i said everyone elses abilities is diluted.

Then the prophecy says this person will help end the war.

So naturally the family thinks this means in their favor and go to track her down. It takes decades but eventually they find Ourelia, or Oura.

Inspiration

Like previously mentioned this whole story has a lot of biblical undertones to it. But thats only the case when it comes to Oura.

Everything else, the clothes style, architecture, race, has Greek, Indian, Mesopotamian, and Arabic influences.

This changes based on class, mainly.

So the royal family lives in a 'palace' that closely resembles ancient greek temples. Think mount olympus.

The general clothing style for this class is still inspired by the greek, with hints of arabic influences.

There are 5 main classes.

High nobility and the royal family. Like I said, the royal families architecure is mostly greek but as you start to get down into nobility the arabian influences become more prevelant.

Lower nobility. Most lower nobility still has the arabian influences but it starts to drift more so into indian style.

Middle class. This is like people who live in the cities and stuff and get by well enough. The cities all try to copy the first and second class architecture so thats what it looks like.

Upper lower class. This is the modern equivilant of people who are just getting by. They have a house and food and stuff but no disposable income. Like their equivilant to a family living right on the poverty line. Theyre architecture isnt new, they just kind of live in whatever has always been there. And the structures used to be built how Mesopotamian people used to build so thats generally what their houses and shops look like.

Lower lower class. These are people who have nothing. Some are living on the streets in the cities and begging, some are living in ruins. But theyre generally really skinny and malnourished and have no income or anything like that.

The bottom two classes make up the vast majority of the population.

The lower you are the more looked down on you are by the upper class.

The bottom class is usually referred to as barbarians and such and are known for being unpredictable and dangerous.

The clothing generally follows that of the architecture. Oura is an exception well get to that later.

Hecles

Hecles is the poorest territory in the Kingdom. It's inspired by Appalachia and doesnt have a lot of resources so for the most part its abandoned.

It has a lot of mountains so unless you live there its hard to navigate. This makes it the perfect place to hide if your on the run.

The people there tend to be in groups. Or at most very small villages.

But the small villages are very few and far between. And at most like 50 people.

There is a lot of crime in this area so the villages are always on edge.

Children are treated horribly in this area. Theyre often killed or abandoned with the mindset of 'I cant take care of myself so how in the world am i supposed to take care of you. '

So its not uncommon for a toddler to be wandering around in the woods by themselves or for small children to almost form gangs.

This is one of the reasons this class is considered barbaric. If you see a 5 year old kid begging on the side of the road, dont approach him or else he might pull out a knife, stab you, and rob you.

The upper class likes to try to 'tame' these kids as like a vanity stunt. Like take them in and raise them and everything which is okay if they werent the way they were. They would often be abused or slaves or servants and not allowed out of the estate.

The Group thingy

Theres this one town in Hecles that was ransacked by bandits a couple years back and after that happened the entire population that was left alive moved.

Abandoning their children.

So theres these 5 kids.

Vita, Aticia (Atis), Birk, Nuave, and...

🥁*drum roll*🥁

Oura.

These kids grew up together along side others but after the ransack happened they were the ones left behind and not killed.

they were all between the ages of like 5-9 at the time.

So they stayed together and moved deeper into the forest and mountains and hunted and scavenged to survive.

They learned to fight off robbers and shit like that. And altogether this group is very strong and very good fighters and strategic and smart and stuff.

Atis and Vita are two of the people who still have magical abilities. With Atis its very subtle she is very manipulative. So she can influence peoples decisions and emotions in a way (??) its hard to explain. But shes not very strong strong but it came in handy when someone needed comfort.

Vita is moderately strong. Her powers revolve around life. Like she can control plant growth and even had a bit of healing powers.

And then obviously Oura.

Her powers are associated with the sun. Because Rora is the god of the sun and whatnot. So she can control heat. She doesnt know how to use her powers yet but the entire group knows Oura is very powerful.

She also has a lot of spiritual abilities.

I dont feel like explaining those right now.

something they did was watch for nobleman carriages on a path near where they camped out. the mountains are treachurous but they span through the entire kingdom and were smack dab in the middle so there was no way to get around them when you needed to go to the other side.

And so sometimes there would be a carriage with guards who get cocky and either look for kids to 'foster' or are just trying to get through the mountains. Theyre cocky but theyre also naive.

Birk is the youngest out of the group and is actually really sweet and like the baby of the group but they would make him stay on the side of the road and pretend hes hurt so the carriage will stop. And when they did stop the other kids would rob them.

One time there were a lot more guards than anticipated and they got caught and the guards were attacking because they were barbarious kids and Oura is their first line of defense. She used her powers to fuck with a cigar the dude had before they were getting robbed and one of their carriages goes up in flames.

They put two and two together and realzie she has powers and arrest her.

They ended up having to knock her out and she gets thrown into the back of the carriage that isnt on fire and bolt, leaving behind one of the guards.

That guard doesnt survive.

And they dont get Oura back.

Other stuff

Theres a test they can do to see if someone has powers by cutting them and observing their blood.

Normally when someone with the magic bleeds theres a silver shine to the blood.

But when they cut Oura its golden.

No ones ever seen that before.

They call up the royal family like 'hey i think we found that sun child yall are always riping about'

And so Oura is taken to the temple and is raised alongside Titas who is only a small toddler when oura gets there and Magnis who is like 5 or 6 at the time. Oura is 11 or 12 ish.

A decade later is when the actual story starts.

Thats all im giving you about that.

Characters

Magnis

Oura is the main character so i should probably start with her but Magnis is my favorite so oh well.

Magnis, like I said is the first person in the royal family to not have powers. A lot of people accuse her of being illegitimate but theres no way because her mom is the one who is Queen and connects her to the bloodline and yk moms cant give birth to children thats not biologically theirs. Atleast not in this universe, surrogacy isnt a thing here.

By rule, the oldest child is the heir, despite gender. But since Magnis doesnt have powers theres a lot of disagreements on whether or not she should be able to be Queen one day.

Especially when Titas, an extremely powerful profit, is right there.

Obviously this causes Magnis a lot of issues.

Shes the scapegoat of the family and will do anything to pleas her mother.

Think Zuko's impulsiveness and drive and obliviousness mixed with Azulas intelligence and you get Magnis.

Shes an extreme people pleaser and like I said, very smart. She aces all of her studies but she still isnt magic so this doesnt matter to her mom.

When word gets around of a rebellion group thats causing a lot of trouble in the 3rd and 4th class Magnis is the first to volunteer to wipe them out.

Her mom wants rid of her so she says sure and sends Magnis on her way at like 15.

Magnis is very self deprecating and also has the biggest ego in the world at the same time. Miss girl needs a therapist she aint doing well.

But shes fiercely loyal to Oura first and her mom second but Oura and her mom are on the same side so its the same thing right???

👀

But when her mom didnt praise her or pay attention to her or validate her, Oura did.

Oura is major oldest daughter vibes.

This isnt about Oura yet im getting off track.

Magnisses mom (i really need to figure out her name) knows how loyal her daughter is though, and shell exploit that sometimes. This becomes very important eventually but not in a way you guys are finding out today.

Magnis has a playlist and a pinterest board

Go check them out if you want.

Ouralia

Okay so from where we left off with her, Oura got taken to the temple to hang with the royal family.

Oura doesnt have a sense of family and how familys are supposed to operate but she does know what love is from the rest of the group and families love eachother right??? So why does the royal family treat eachother like this????

She all but looks at the Queen and tells her that she isn't allowed to raise her own kids anymore. Oura works with Titas and his powers and talks with Magnis and genuinely loves the kids like siblings. And makes it a point to build a connection with them.

(Or maybe its because Ouras alone for the first time in her life and she doesnt know what to do without a 'group', who knows)

She's very smart. She knows immediately that if she opposes what they try to teach her, nothing good will come out of it. So she 'learns' quickly about the history of Eris and how the magic people outside the royal family are all bad and need to be killed and jailed.

She memorizes what they want her to believe but she doesnt forget how hungry the village was before it was abandoned. And she will never forget the abundance of food they could get off of the carriages. Far more than what a few nobleman and some guards would ever need.

She would always remember the house she shared with her father before he left her alone and how there was a hole in the door allowing the cold to get in in the depths of winter and animals to come in and claw at her feet when she tried to kick them away.

And then there were more rooms in the palace than Oura could count. Some of which she was told were too sacred for someone to step foot in so the door has been shut for decades.

Remember the detail about the foster children? There was one that was a servent in the palace. He was from the 4th class and was about 5 years older than Oura. He had been taken when he was ten and put to work for the royal family. He and Oura bonded quick. He explained the rules to her and told her who she needed to look out for and what questions would get her slapped.

Oura woke up one day when she was 15 and he had disappeared. Oura was too scared to ask but there was a rumor about a banned book under his mattress.

Oura learned quickly that in order for the people she cared about to not get hurt, she needed to be in control. But in order for her to not get hurt, no one could know this.

She dug and found the Queens weaknesses and secrets and only stored them in her mind, less they would be found.

And she knew that there would be a moment when she would have to utilize those secrets to one up her.

I mentioned that Oura has a bunch of biblical undertones.

The child of a God, Saviour of a people, sound familiar?

Ouras pinterest thing Ouras playlist

Titas

Titas couldnt remember a time when Oura wasnt around. Magnis barely could, but Titas, not at all.

Titas was smart, but unlike Magnis, it wasnt clouded by the need for approval. He got the approval. He was the most powerful person in his family for generations and the only prophet for a century.

And he had Oura.

She learned to read and write with him and Magnis. She would tell stories about her friends when the sun set and they could finally talk without expectations of doing something else.

She told him about the value outside of magical powers and academic abilities. He wasnt just a prophet to Oura.

The rest of his family only saw him that way.

Titas decided long ago that he preferred Oura to his mother. And he knew how to read Oura in a way that Magnis didnt know to. He saw the split second glares as she lectured about political spiels.

And he was with her the night she went through his mothers office, digging for some dirt. Oura didnt think he was old enough to remember, but he was.

He knew Oura didnt like his mom. And he knew that when, not if, it came down to it. He would follow Oura.

[radkindoffeminist]

The whole misogynistic trope of shows making their female characters who don't want kids get pregnant is so true tho!

While not a medical show, jane the virgin has the same premise.

Jane (who's grandmother is a Catholic and scared jane into waiting until marriage bc jane's mother had her at 15) gets pregnant (from a medical mistake of her doctor) but decided to get an abortion but backs out bc the father (who is the doctors brother) had cancer and cannot have kids. So not only did they force Jane to carry this pregnancy but the kid isnt even her boyfriend's!

Like...im just tired of these shows lmao. She clearly didn't want kids rn bc she was still in college but ofc the show runners decided that god forbid the guy who gets drunk and angry doesn't have kids.

Ik that the storyline is bat shit insane and never would happen (being accidental inseminated) but still.

It takes over absolutely everything! I obviously see it a lot on medical shows, but it’s everywhere. Women risk their lives to have children that they don’t want and have been pressured into while men are like ‘let’s try and save you first and the baby later’. Why is it that the men, the ones who wanted these children and pressured these women into having children in many cases, are the ones putting the women first right now? Does it suddenly matter that their baby incubator is dying but they don’t care when they didn’t want children?

And then abortion. Let’s talk about that. Addison Montgomery in Grey’s and Private Practice pisses me off to no end in the way she talks about abortions and her own abortion. At one point she talks about how she would’ve had a six year old daughter if she didn’t get an abortion and I’m sure that women do question this stuff later down the line but can we not completely obsess over this fucking shit? Can we have women who have one is glad that they didn’t have that child or even just managed to move on with their lives because that’s actually what happens to most women who get abortions? Another point she talks about how having an abortion is the hardest choice a women has to make and I’m sure that’s a truly difficult choice for many women, but acting like it’s the hardest thing ever? Making it out like every woman who has an abortion spent days or weeks questioning it? It’s completely led into the idea that women put themselves through hell and get abortions because there’s basically no other choice for them. Why do you think that men are now getting pissy that women on TikTok are getting abortions that they don’t regret and that they haven’t killed themselves over getting when this is the media and representation around abortion which we’ve grown up with?

I could fill up a book with the examples of these misogynistic tropes surrounding women and pregnancies and why they’re fucking awful. Abortion is the hardest thing ever, making abortion to be the last resort/only giving it to the most vulnerable women, making women regret having had their abortions, women being pressured into having children, women putting themselves through hell in order to have children, men suddenly being more worried about their partner’s health than keeping a foetus alive. It kills me inside to see it so often.

[batrachois]

YELL ABOUT HOW SHIT THE WINX REBOOT IS!!! IT'S UGLY AND WE DESERVE TO CALL IT THAT!!! YELL YOUR BLASPHEMIES ABOUT HOW THEY RUINED OUR CHILDHOOD SHOW!!!

im always down to yell at things jksahdkjashdsghjfdkh

this is.... uh... Long.

let’s start from the context (for those who don’t know me/winx): winx is an italian show that aired in the early 2000s and was targeted towards 5 to 10 year olds (girls) so, being an italian born in 97, i obviously watched the entire show to the point that i still know every single song from it by heart (disclaimer: i know it aired in the rest of the world too around that same time period)

oKAY SO FIRST OF ALL i had a lukewarm reaction to hearing that a new winx show would be produced by netflix: it’s good that the story can be explored further/in different ways (this applies to the changed target audience too), but i do not trust live action reboots. i also have noticed that netflix tends to uhhh do those badly, if sabrina or wtv is anything to go by...  so i was skeptical but still... i was going to watch this new winx thing for sure (and if not the whole thing at least the first few episodes idk)

THEN THE TRAILER CAME OUT  and oh my fucking god not only is it fugly, it also lets us know just enough to know the serie will be a fucking shit show

so let’s start from THAT - why does it look like it’ll be BAD!! cause it’s.......... bad... the tone is all wrong. or well idk man i guess it’s the tone they wanted but it’s Wrong. first of all it completely ignores the reason why winx was so loved to begin with (by all ages btw, not only by 5yos): the playfulness winx was bright and fast paced and funny by all means, even if it was cringeworthy puns and jokes thrown there to make the slightly older audience giggle. this new trailer makes the show feel as if fate takes itself already way too seriously! - it spoils a few things already tho we all knew by now that bloom is a fairy and that she and sky end up together, BUT!! it does so in a shitty ass way (aside from the dreadful cgi): bloom and sky seem to be already deep into that whole teen drama thing that netflix and everyone else seems to think it’s entertaining (noah fence to riverdale fans, but.... do they not know how badly that exact strategy impacted riverdale as a whole??? it’s bad writing sweety) it doesnt set the universe up whatsoever!! like obviously it’s a lot to do with just a trailer, but it doesnt take much to show that there’s multiple worlds and stuff in this universe and this does nothing but make us squint to try and make up the dark figures on the screen

but let’s go into the VISUAL ASPECT of this whole aberration of a “show” - the tone is too dark!! i’ve had this problem with probably every single tv show that has come out since 2013 or smth, but WHY CANT I FUCKING SEE!!! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE NIGHT!!!!! WHY IS EVERYTHING POORLY LIT!!!!!!!!! WHY CANT YOU FUCKING USE A GOD FUCKING DAMNED BLUE LIGHT THAT YOU EDIT IN PP FOR NIGHT SCENES IF YOU LIKE NIGHT SCENES SO FUCKING MUCH, JESUS CHRIST ON THE CROSS HURIEFJDKLIFOHEUD hi im a film major and ive been taught how to film night scenes and while im not working in the film area (cause im taking another degree in the meantime) im pissed @ literally everyone in the entire film industry rn

- the CAST & costumes are something straight out of my deepest nightmares so let’s go in order like to start off with the fact that i dont want to hate any of the actresses cause theyre just doing their job: why the fuck are they like That > bloom isnt bad, but the expressinons she givs in the scenes from the trailer are all aloof-y and naive, it’s as if we’re seeing season 1 flora. bloom is a fiery, hot blooded character, where is that in her dead fish expressions???? why does she look confused as fuck??? blooms wardrobe is tragic. red on a redhead?? what is this, riverdale??? (again: nò fens) what was great about blooms OG wardrobe was that she was dressed in a contrasting palette!! light blue/red was DIVINE!! > stella is...... sad.... she’s literally the fanciest diva there could be and yall dress her up in some dumb ass palazzo pants??? like??? how?? when??? also BLACK????? on a fuCKING LIGHT FAIRY?????????? A *LIGHT* FAIRY!!! PRINCESS OF SOLARIA UHFJKDNJIJ shut up it’s as if they didnt even see the og show idk abut the actress shes in there for .2 seconds but im sure shes gonna play stella as a beauty guru vlogger influencer ig type and i hate it already, stella would be a campy fashion youtuber that does critiques, not a model. shes LOUD. > flora. my gay awakening. they whitewashed you. like i dont care that shes plus size or curvy or wtv, thats fine, that’s cool but WHY IS SHE...... NOT A LATINA..... LIKE SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!! she was inspired by JLo frejdknir porchasjdknmadonandhb i get that you want her to be curvier but there’s options to curvy that arent white 35 yo plus size women who get dressed in the clothes a middle school art teacher who got laid off would wear! WHERES MY CROP TOPS!! GIVE CROP TOPS TO MY PLUS SIZE QUEEN. i became what i am (gay) for her. gimme it. > aisha/layla. so first of all: shes called aisha, fuck that layla bullshit this aint start wars. what...... is.......... all that...  im happy, like really happy that they casted a darker actress, thats something the og show didnt do well (cause they kept making aisha whiter as the seasons went by). but........ the rest of That... is atrocious.......... again: where’s the palette???? are we really giving a FLUIDS FAIRY A BLUE PALETTE???? groundbreaking. her og palette was Green and Pink and it worked PERFECTLY. and it works especially well on dark skin too (like most bright colors imo) why did they give her tHAT GOD AWFUL PLAID SKIRT THAT ONLY A COLORBLIND GRANDMA WOULD WEAR!!!! what’s with that bright dark blue???? bad! ugly!!! get it off.!!! it’s redundant and UGLY. > now... MUSA... they whitewashed my baby. my love.  like okay, the og show was bad, i said it i’ll say it again, it wasnt good in any way, but it did give us representation during a time period when representation wasnt even remotely a requirement. there was aisha, black, flora, latina, and musa, asian (chinese to be specific cause it was like... explicitly said), and while it is a really basic 2000s take on diversity on screen, it still manages to be a more diverse cast than this fucking 2020 (TWENTY TWENTY) production manages to have??? how did this happen. so yeah im not even going to touch on musa’s disgusting costumes but just know that i despise them (shorts and a bomber jacket????? what mushrooms did they get themselves high with) > the specialists if theyre even called that in english all look like emo tiktok boys who do POV videos so im not.... not gonna say things... godspeed for getting the part and now something i am extremely angry about: WHERE THE FUCK IS TECNA where’s the women in stem rep? where’s the women with short hair rep? where’s the smart women who dont care about fashion rep???????? where’s the literally GNC WOMEN REPRESENTATION, NETFLIX??????????????? i could write a better rendition of winx club by hitting my keyboard with a hammer on beat with the og winx club opening song.

> the whole mood tho the whole mood is... disgusting... disheartening.... terrible who thought we as a generation needed more dark and edgy and gritty shows? cause theyre thousands of light years from where we fucking stand. winx club was campy and colorful and full of glitter and while im sure that wouldnt be anytingn but cringe today, im also asbolutely positive that THAT energy, that vibe, that colorful aesthetic that made you  squirm because of how bright everything was would work perfectly right now, and it would fit amazingly in the needs of this gen z age group these people keep thinking theyre appealing their shows to. and theyre not, these shows are at best sad renditions of what neo emo 13yos want to see on tv, this is the new twilight at its worst and it’s fucking ugly. take it back.

SO YEAH I THINK IM SPEAKING FOR EVERYBODY WHEN I SAY:  NETLFIX HIRE ME TO WRITE YOUR SHOWS OR PERISH

sorry for how long this was, peace out, anon

[kingjasnah]

actually. actually let’s talk about diversity in fantasy let’s give that a go. im mad and im gonna be that way for a while

don’t want to read all this? fair. tldr: fantasy writers who rely not only on the medieval europe model but also hide behind historical accuracy in 2020 (fuck it, from ‘95 onwards) are lazy and unimaginative and should be held accountable no matter how many white 20 year old dudes jerk off to whatever power fantasy is embedded in the plot. so lets chat about that lads. (slightly) drunk rant under the cut

now prelim shit: we know fantasy is used both as escapism and as a way to deal with various traumas via magical metaphor. staples of the genre. even if jk rowling busted out the laziest and at times offensive metaphor for ww2 and racism ive ever seen, she still adhered to time and true tropes. whatever.

so why have we, in this post game of thrones era, become insanely obsessed with realism? i can hear sixty 20-something year old men crying at me rn like oh ohh oh its based off the war of roses oh wahh all medieval fantasy fiction is based off england and the crusades anyway so women should get raped and people of color should be demonized its not racism its xenophobia and also gay people dont exist and disabled people are systematically killed off and if we stretch the magic fixes mental illness thing a LITTLE further we have straight up eugenics.

we all know where the england but myth thing came from. now the thing about tolkien is that while i will always absolutely love lotr, looking at the LAZY state of fantasy? damn i kinda wish he hadn’t revolutionized the genre. the bitch was still racist. he still didnt give a shit abt women (eowyn was just a vehicle to show how much he fucking hated macbeth anyone holding jrrt up as a feminist icon for that needs to sit the fuck down and explain to me why i can count the woman speaking roles in lotr, a story with a name and fleshed out backstory for every minor character, on one hand but thats! another post). he had something to say abt class with sam i’ll give him that but he is still 100% NOT what we need to hold our standards to in 2020. 

i dont want to talk about old school fantasy, like 80s early 90s cause theres literally no point. its sexist, racist, ableist for sure, this we know. david eddings (not even that old school tbh) can rise from the grave and explain himself to me personally and i still wont forgive him for ehlana. 

so let’s talk historical accuracy. quick question. who the FUCK gives a shit? WHO is this elusive got fan who’s out here like blehh actually??? this method of iron production is TOTALLY anachronistic of the time. ummm these vegetables in this fictional world were NOT native to english soil so how are they here? cause i know this is the classic argument but ive never actually met someone who cared about the lack of dysentery as much as they care abt the women getting raped on screen/page. 

god forbid you have to worldbuild for a second god forbid you can’t rely on the idea of fantasy readers already have in their head god forbid you have an original idea god forbid you spend more than two seconds thinking about ur setting (oh i should mention i dont....really blame GoT for its setting cause of how long ago it was og written but trust me i sure as hell blame grrm for writing a 13 yr old giving ‘consent’ to sex with a grown man within the first couple of chapters) 

If we accept the basic premise of fantasy as escapism, and i AM drunk so i will NOT be finding fuckin. quotes and shit for this but come on tolkien said it himself and as much as i’ll drag him he crafted the simplest and most powerful fantasy metaphors on the board rn. But if we know its escapism. If we know. then who is it escapism for? certainly not for me, the gay brown woman who busted through all of GoT in 10th grade. 

modern fantasy lit used as an excuse for that white male power fantasy is literally disgusting. calling historical accuracy is so fucking dumb ESPECIALLY cause we, as ppl in the 21st  century, KNOW women have been consistently written out of the story. poc ppl, gay and trans ppl, anyone with a god forbid disability has been WRITTEN out of history as we know it, INCLUDING the fucking war of the roses so HOW can we hold up testimony we know is flawed to support our FICTIONAL. STORY. just to??? support the white power fantasy?? literally noah fence but if you are a white guy who felt really empowered by every time jim butcher described a woman tell me: how do you think that’ll hold up in classic HisToRiCaL fantasy. you think thats a fucking noble pursuit? or are you grima wormtongue out here. 

(side note: jim butcher stop writing challenge i dont need to know abt every woman on page’s nipples. anyone who hides behind subgenre like that? ‘ohhh its a noir story thats why hes sexualizing everyone’ shut the fuck up an author isnt possessed by a fuckin muse and compelled to bust out 500k they have agency and they have choice and they MADE the choice to reserve said will for none of their female characters)

which brings me to point 2: target audience and BOY is the alcohol hitting me rn but WHO is this for? this isnt the fucking 80s we know poc and other marginalized folk read fantasy FOR the escapism. on god ive had a cosmere focused blog for nearly three years and. im just gonna say it im interacted with A LOT of yall and ive managed to talk to VERY few white straight ppl as compared to everyone else. 

like....who deserves to see the metaphor on homophobia or racism. joanne rowling? the bitch who literally tried to sell us happy slaves and the disgusting aids metaphor and the worst case of antisemitic stereotypes i ever saw in an nyt bestseller? yall think that was for US? or was it for the white guilt crowd. 

literally white people can find any book about them that they can relate to. but hmmm maybe theres a reason gay women care so much about stormlight archive’s jasnah kholin, a brown woman who’s heavily coded as wlw. or kaladin, the FIRST fantasy protag ive ever seen with clinical depression. hmm i wonder why a bunch of millennials are vibing all of a sudden. im not saying sanderson is perfect--but its the best ive seen from a white author tbh

maybe theres a reason a lot of poc vibe with a literary way to express trauma, and maybe thats why i specifically get so pissed when its not done well. theres a REASON books about outcasts pushing through and claiming their own lives are popular with people who arent white and straight and able bodied. Junot Diaz had a point. maybe lets STOP catering to those assholes who think theyre joseph campbell’s wet dream personified. ive lost respect SO many authors who are objectively talented. pat rothfuss can write so beautifully that ive cried to bits of name of the wind but literally i will never pick that series up again (not just because of the felurian. women in general tbh. mostly the felurian ngl) cause 1) i personally KNEW men whod jerk off to that shit and 2) there was no need for it there was no plot reason for ANY of that shit 

so like obviously thers an issue with authors of color specifically not getting recognized for fantasy and genre work but on god??????? im still mostly mad at the legions of white authors churning out the same medieval england chosen one books year after fucking year. have an original thought maybe. also im sorry that you as an author lack the basic empathy needed to examine the way that women? or any group of people that youre explicitly writing about see the world and would specifically see YOUR made up world. 

yes your fantasy should be diverse, but more than that it should be kind. if you as a writer cant respect groups of people who deserve it....what the hell are you doing in a genre that traditionally is about finding ways to express injustice through metaphor? tolkien’s hero was sam. fantasy was NEVER about the privileged. yall know who you are so stop acting so fucking entitled. peace out. 

[gayregis]

im at that stage of fatigue from the day where i’m so tired the fanfiction is writing itself in my mind theough dialogue but i’m too insanely tired to sit down and write it all out and i work a shift in the morning too so i dont even have time ... so ill forget everything come morning

[[MORE]]

psych, ima try to outline it rn

this is after a little sacrifice and also after season of storms and takes place in cidaris (im not clear on if kerack is the capital so season of storms dealt with the proper king of cidaris or if it was just a local kingship but im hcing that cidaris is also a capital city as well as the region/nation).

this is geralt and dandelion going to the grape festival mentioned in a little sacrifice btw

main goal for this is to basically give dandelion more depth and address his identity issues and backstory and just how his character is in general

valdo marx (as far as i am headcanoning in terms of appearance right now) is of course , also a twink and they have similar builds but valdo isnt as skinny as dandelion because he has access to three full meals every day. he has dark brown hair and green eyes, and i might give him the same hair and beard as dandelion from tw3 just to spite cdpr. he used to sport green/purple doublets as an independent artist, but now as the reaident troubadour of cidaris, he’s adopted their emblatic colors (blue and white) and wears a doublet with a sash of these colors. he doesn’t have poofy sleeves, instead he has these ruffs and like... bellbottom sleeves. also this method of embellishing clothes that i learned from a glamour video (it’s @ 4:30ish) called slashing is applicable to his outfits. i think he veers away from tights unlike dandelion, so he wears more breeches than anything. he doesn’t have detailed embroidery like dandelion, but rather patterned/quilted areas with silver and some small pearls added for decoration in these sections as well.

so geralt and valdo have to be placed together somehow in a conversation. basically he wants to #expose dandelion for being a fraud... but he’s not doing it out of Pure Evil, he’s (vaguely) kind of like the lodge of sorceresses in which it’s like, he is only wanting things to be done his way because really he thinks it’s the best way to do things. he’s really a victim of academia, he would be someone that supports the fact that instruments are like $1,000 each.

basically he and dandelion were classmates at oxenfurt and at first hit it off very well and shared notes and thoughts and sexual partners and all was splendid. but they got competitive and valdo HATES that dandelion does NOT come from a family known for music or any kind of art. basically dandelion is a novus homo, but in the world of music, and valdo comes from an established family which has been musically inclined for generations. he feels that ppl like dandelion just wanna go to oxenfurt for shits and giggles and dont take this opportunity seriously because theyre too blinded by their own arrogance to actually learn anything. and he may be right in regards to a lot of other children of wealthy noble families that attend oxenfurt. but dandelion’s case was different and this he does not like to admit. also he hates how dandelion is... inclined to... a life of debauchery... because he feels he perpetuates stereotypes of artists being good for nothing penniless drunkards and lechers, and makes it harder for Real Professionals from Actual Lineage to get a job. also he has a disdain for how dandelion really wanted to travel and admired the “musicians of the world” that never attended some fancy college, and again valdo sees this as him not appreciating the opportunity he was given, because all you ever need to interact with is this little 1 mile by 1 mile square of oxenfurt, and not even the whole city, just the college. also when valdo tells all this to geralt he goes give him a judgemental up and down look like... “julian loves meeting, writing about, and... ahem... fraternizing with... all kinds of ... people.” (he was gonna say “trash,” but geralt has swords and cats eyes, so valdo swallowed that last word). ALSO ALSO valdo thinks dandelion is further destroying the sanctity of academic places like oxenfurt by training good for nothings from other nobody families, like essi daven, who was actually from a noble family but one not too rich because it was kind of distant from the ruling family. and since she threw a fit they let her do her own thing instead of marrying her off.

also valdo is like “julian— ahem, ... ‘dandelion,’ as you know him... i don’t know why he uses that absurd little nickname,” because he just finds the idea of a pseudonym stupid (since hes from a famous musical family of course he wants to highlight his lineage). and again he dislikes how dandelion is Corrupting Others by not only mentoring essi at oxenfurt, but training her in an “unorthodox fashion,” ie they just duet and talk shit about random stuff and he advises her weird things like “get a cool fake name so all the girls have something to scream as you go on stage”

as they interact with each other, valdo and dandelion actually are kind of opposite of dandelion and essi. they dont throw ANY snide remarks and keep it all under wraps with just pleased smiles and then as soon as theyre out of earshot (a long way for bards) theyre like “i am going to take the replacement strings of my lute and choke the lights out of that tone-deaf idiot” ... geralt is like 😳 to see aggression in dandelion and hes a bit intimidated at first but then is like Bro Are you Fucking Okay ????? Because its so unnatural for dandelion to be Actually Upset about something and not be ok within half a day

scene where dandelion is staring at the mirror and geralt is like you have been staring at the mirror for a long time, even by your standards... dandelion is like “i have to change something... geralt, look at me. look at me. (says it again bc geralt didnt look up the first time). if you could change one thing about my face, what would it be?” and geralts obviously like “nothing.” and dandelions like dont be fucking difficult just tell me i need to know i need your opinion and geralt is like that IS my opinion i sincerely like your face the way it is. something something blah blah blah tenderness geralt says smth like dandelion you have a lot of loyal fans okay...... and hes trying to refer to himself but he doesnt wanna say it aloud

i think something about dandelion talking about who he was (basically referring to “julian” in the 3rd person) and just very uncharacteristically self-loathing but them he pops back into his little arrogant self ... basically he covers that everyone Fucking Laughed at him for wanting to sing but he did it and now he’s the best and also, sexy. in this whole scene (same scene as last bullet point) he is also saying that he needs to “prove himself” and geralt is just like What More Can You Do, You Are Literally Famous... but dandelion is just pensive about it

also he says something like “theres two versions of me... julian with a dream who nobody knows, and dandelion who’s famous and loved.” and geralts like “theres three.” “three?” “there’s also dandelion, the one i know, who, it doesn’t matter if he’s famous or what, because i just like him and enjoy his company.” BECAUSE i dont know how not to be blunt and not hit my readers over the head with what i wanted to get across. geralt is a blunt man however so i think its acceptable to do this

basically this fic is “dandelion can have little a OOCness for character development”

tbh its not too ooc (hopefully) bc hes not like downright depressed, hes just pensive, like he is when hes trying to think of a good title or rhymes and nothing is working. nothing is working! hes frustrated!!!

i have nooooo idea how to resolve this conflict ive introduced. i think valdo and dandelion have to sing a duet together and it is like skating on thin ice with sharks underneath . MAYBE valdo gets possessed by,, something? not a demon bc IVE HAD ENOUGH GOETIA AFTER SEASON OF STORMS but you know An Entity, and dandelion is like wow this is an improvement!! and geralts like no it isnt, now i have to exorcise this fucker

also throughout this i think that the king and queen of cidaris (maintaining that kerack isnt the capital and is just another kingship within the nation) looooveveeveveeee dandelion and his presence and are like oh dandelion you are always welcome in our court :) which also totally pisses valdo off because its like dandelion came into his work/home and fucked both of his bosses and is trying to steal their loyalty through Sexual Appeal. which. may ring true. but dandelion does stuff for fun and not for manipulation soooo valdo is a little wrong in thinking dandelion is manipulating them. and this also adds to valdos resentment of dandelion for being so promiscuous and also writing about his love affairs bc he feels it detracts from The Art...

basically this fic is also me telling academia and ppl who feel art should be limited to a certain crowd to go stuff it cause no one cares and creativity and learning is only human of anyone. also an excuse to give dandelion character depth and also an excuse to break how geralt is always the gloomy one and dandelion has to cheer him up, i think though they do have their strong personalities, relationships should ideally go both ways in terms of emotional support so it shows geralt has the capacity to support a dandelion with festering anger and personal identity problems. also a way for geralt to learn a little abt dandelions backstory without learning/spoiling the fact that hes a v*scount and actually noble and wealthy (they just refer to his family as being wealthy enough to pay for oxenfurt which is significant but not astounding)

[ravenofthefandoms]

Here are my thoughts on S8E2!

REAL QUICK THO AN ANGRY REMINDER

If you’re gonna post about an episode after watching the leak TAG UR SHIT I saw way too many spoilers and literally two hours before it aired. If you can’t tag ur shit then don’t post at all until it’s over. At least then most people have seen it. If you don’t tag ur shit then ur legally an asshole so be careful

ANYWAYS Thoughts from S8E2:

- Hi yeah did Dany kinda forget that her dad was the Mad King or is she just gonna act like she’s the only one with the right to want Jaime dead?

- Also I love how she’s like “your sister lied to me wut you gonna do about it”

- She needs to step oFF of Tyrion

- I hope Jaime really does slit Dany’s throat tbh how great would that be

- Bran is great fuckin hilarious

- YAS BRIENNE DEFEND YO MANZ

- God I love Sansa so freaking much 😭 she actually values her advisors opinions unlike another queen I know

- I love how Dany expects Jon to be like “yeah babe whatever you want” and then he’s like “nah Sansa’s right”

- Grey Worm I love you but you’re not intimidating buddy I’m sorry

- Jonno does a 10/10 walkout

- Tyrion you don’t deserve this work environment abuse go give your wisdom to someone else who deserves it

- Mmmmmmm Gendry what a man

- “It’s strong enough” what ur dick?

- “What do they smell like?” What kinda question is that wtf

- PSA: sharp objects handled by Arya Stark turn on Gendry pass it on

- Arya Stark, Queen of BDE

- Fuck yes I love this Bran and Jaime reunion

- Bran is like it’s chill tbh it’s like a good thing that you pushed me out the window and made me a cripple cuz now we’re here and I’m a magical motherfucker

- Bran is the most understanding person ever after he became the Three Eyed Raven

- “She’s your new queen too” mmm no

- Actually, contrary to popular belief Tyrion, it’s not hard to blame her

- Tyrion is both smart and a dumbass at the same time how the fuck

- Jaime’s like a dog who just heard a squirrel like “????brienne?????”

- Podrick isn’t a boy anymore HE IS MY MANZ AND HUSBAND AND HOLY FUCK HE GOT HOT SO FAST LIKE THE LIGHT FACIAL HAIR? WET. SWORD FIGHTING SKILLS? WET.

- Awww Brienne and Jaime are like the awkward high schoolers who have a thing for each other

- Why does Jorah still call her Khaleesi

- I’m glad Jorah isn’t a dumb bitch. Like he literally betrayed Dany to her brother’s killer and she still forgave him but Tyrion decides to trust his sister for once??? Nope he fucked up too bad not trustworthy

- Uhhh the position wasn’t Jorah’s to be stolen

- This scene is proof that Daensa will never happen and I am glad for it

- “I wish I could have that kind of faith in my advisors” uhh??? Maybe get some new advisors then??? You should trust them??? That’s why they’re your advisors????

- PREACH SANSA CLAPBACK ON THAT BITCH BEING A HYPOCRITE

- Uh no a) the northerners accept Sansa pretty well they actually like her and b) you’re not doing a damn good job of it dumb bitch

- Uh the family that destroyed Sansa was your family dumb bitch

- Is this bitch really making the excuse that she was manipulated?¿?

- This bitch big stupid

- This scene literally reminds me of high school like Dany literally reminds me of those fake ass bitches who were sickly sweet just to get what they want from me like wtf Dany is so obviously fake that it makes me cringe

- BREAKER OF CHAINS MY ASS THE NORTH BROKE THEIR OWN CHAINS AND NOW YOU WANNA PUT THEM BACK ON DUMB BITCH EHHA (read that ehha as Cardi B)

- THEOOOOOOON YAS

- I love how he just ignores Dany and is like SANSA I WANNA SERVE U BB

- Suddenly I ship Theonsa

- This Theonsa hug is all I have ever needed in life

- Isn’t that the thief from Merlin?

- I love that little Irish girl who’s like “imma fight give me a sword” like is this Arya 2.0??

- I heart Gilly

- “I’ll defend the crypt then” YES YOU WILL LIL HUNNY YOU’LL DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF IT TOO

- EDDAAAAAAAY AND TORMUND YAS MY FAVE BITCHES

- Tormund is like surprise bitch you getta hug me first

- Beric is basically that cool as fuck and chill as hell uncle

- “The big woman”

- We love a Jon Snow pep talk

- Bran is like “hi yeah I’d like to be uhhh bait”

- Damn Samwell you didn’t have to flex on us like that with that deep thinking aight

- YES THEON REDEMPTION ARC AS FUCK

- Noooooo let Tyrion fight you ain’t his boss bitch (I mean you are but)

- Need it for what? Taking over the north?

- “No one’s ever tried” hehe I’m in danger

- Stark fam looking badass as fuck

- Walkout #2 isn’t as smooth but still acceptable

- “It’s a long story” bitch I got time start talking

- I CACKLED when those girls walked away from Missandei like I felt bad but that was just such a “you can’t sit with us” moment

- CAN GREY WORM AND MISSANDEI JUST GO TO NARTH AND STAY THERE FOREVER AND GROW OLD TOGETHER PLEASE

- WE WILL PROTECT YOU IM CRYINGGGGG

- Ghost is that you homie????

- Awww the Nights Watch reunion made me tear up a lil

- Sam’s like “I AINT NO BITCH I KILLED A WHITE WALKER KILLED A THENN AND STOLE BOOKS FROM THE CITADEL IM THE BADDEST BITCH AROUND”

- I love this banter with my whole entire heart

- i miss grenn and pyp so much I’m crying grenn was my pre-Pod husband

- I love Lannister brother moments so much they are so pure

- Oprah is handing out redemption arcs left and right wOw

- PODRICK HE IS A MAN NOW HE IS MY HUSBAND HE IS JUST SO SEXY NOW

- CACKLINGGGGG “half a cup” pours in half the wine jug

- What a squad

- TORMUND MAKES ME LAUGH SO FUCKIN MUCH

- He’s the awkward kid who tells weird stories and then does weird shit

- “Kingslayer get it right” - Jaime on the inside

- Everyone just has a “wtf” look on their face and I’m dying

- I. AM. CACKLING. AT. TORMUND. SEND HELP

- I fucking love Sandor with my entire heart and soul

- “I fought for you didn’t I?” Touche you got her there

- *sandor doesn’t get to sit by himself* fINE WHY DOESNT THE WHOLE FUCKING NORTH COME SIT BY ME TOO HUH IF YOU ALL WANT TO. CROWD. ME HUH???

- “I’m not gonna sit with you old shits I’m gonna go fuck a bull I mean uhhhhh I gotta go ”

- Arya being lowkey jealous makes me cackle like a witch

- “Is that your first time?” “Well yeah Arya I don’t put leeches all over my dick every time I get home wtf”

- YES ARYA GET THAT DICK HUNTY YASS RIDE HIM TO STORMS END HUNTY YAAAAAAS

- ARYA IS DOM AND GENDRY IS SUB PASS IT ON

- Arya having her first time be CONSENSUAL and with someone she loves makes me happy as fUCK

- GENDRY IS THE PUREST MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR (only after Pod though)

- All I want at this point in my life is for Podrick to hold me in his big strong arms like I just wanna cuddle him fUCK

- “Not a Ser?? Why the fuck not get outta here with that bullshit”

- “I never wanted to be a knight” Podrick: I call bULLSHIT

- Tormund is supportive of Brienne even when she’s dating another guy he doesn’t even care

- WE WAITED SO LONG FOR BRIENNE AND JAIME TO HAVE A ROMANTIC AND INTIMATE MOMENT AND WE GOT AND BRIENNE EVEN GOT WHAT SHE DESERVES OUT OF IT

- Podrick is Brienne’s proud son I am living for it

- BRIENNE’S SMILE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PRECIOUS THING ON THIS WHOLE ENTIRE EARTH IT MUST BE PROTECTED

- Honestly Tormund just wants to see Brienne happy and successful and tbh I don’t think he would care if that meant that she was with Jaime

- I stg if anything happens to babygirl Lyanna i will throw fists she looks like such a little bad ass in her armor omg she’s adorable

- Yeah Jorah you don’t gotta wield it in Randals memory he was kind of an asshole

- Can Podrick sing me to sleep every night please holy fUCK

- Theonsa? Check. Gendrya? Check. Grey Worm and Missandei? Check. Podrick making my whole self thirsty for him? Check.

- Uhhh Daenerys are you not gonna be concerned that you were idk fuckin your nephew or maybe that you aren’t the last Targaryen???? Maybe something important like that not the Iron fucking Throne???

- This bitch really thinks that Bran and Sam were lying hAh she drank a lot of dumb bitch juice this episode

- Daenerys is like those anti-vaxxers or flat earthers who refuse to see the facts

- Fun fact: episode 3 is going to tear out my heart and soul, put them in a blender, and then fucken shook it until it exploded like a coke with a mento in it

- I read somewhere that said something to the effect of characters who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it and that sounds like Dany w/ the Mad King to me rn

- Honestly every time Dany talked in this episode I got pissed off so that’s not good

- People be like “aw this episode was so boring” like bITCH ARE YALL MISSING THESE GREAT DOMESTIC MOMENTS?? GAME OF THRONES ISNT ALL STABBY AND SHIT IT CAN BE NICE FOR ONCE

- This episode made my heart full and I’m going to cry

- Ummmmm in case y’all haven’t seen in Dan Portman (Podrick) posted on his Instagram and it may or may not be a spoiler and if it is then I’ll kill myself

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo

im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)” 

like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT 

and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”

and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea 

and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them 

or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class” 

and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up 

and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!! 

and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!

i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[newgirlinthecorner]

Some quick letters

This is to my friends, personalized, in case they find this blog.

Also for my exes cause im salty

I really hope ya'll don't find it tho cause this is my diary sooooo

But if you do, this is for you, circa Feb 16,'19

So if you don't find yourself I'm either not close enough with you or i just don't know you yet♡

Btw this is in the order that yall come to mind (except the second to last one, ive been thinking about you nonstop for WEEKS)

Order:

Chloe, Ahlim, Seonmin, Chongwoo, Baron, Ella, Dale, Hannah L., Olivia S., Liv L., Marit, Maddy X., John, Abigail, Caitlyn, Terry, Harry, Ava, Adrian, Sanjana, Eliza, Juri, Lily M., Braeden, Dean, Ryan N., Chris P., Tyler, Ties

Chloe

Hey, what's up

Nothing here is new for you so I don't have much to tell you. Thank you for your friendship through all these years♡

Ahlim

I miss you.

Also, I've been congratulating you on your birthday every year till 2018. Yet you haven't congratulated me once.

But I hope you are well.

Remember how we said we'd meet up at Harvard?

I fully intend on holding up my side of the deal.

Seonmin

I'm sorry for being such a catastrophe whilst we were close. I hope I'm living up to what you think I am now.

Say hi to harabeoji for me♡

Chongwoo

Dude im sorry for how i tried to get with you but you didnt have to be so rude yknow like damn ok

another mothafuckin scorpio

Baron

I liked you for a longass time

Remember my letter you threw out in 4th grade? That shit still haunts me to this day.

I heard you really went downhill.

Sucks to be you ig

Ella

I love you so much

We need to talk more

I know you're seeing this rn, so hmu cause i miss you but im too awkward to say so properly

Also, feel free to show people that you're friends with their respective sections in this post.

Dale

S Q U I S H

You deserve many love you adorable being and i love you very much

I miss you if it isnt obvious

Hannah L.

I really hope you're doing well. Are you still swimming? I bet your English is amazing now♡ I hope you get into an Ivy League like you've wanted to.

Olivia S.

How've you been? We need to talk.

I'm sorry I don't have much to say, we didn't spend all that much time together.

But I haven't forgotten you.

Liv L.

I'm still not really certain what I did the winter of '17 that cast us apart. However, I do know that I hurt you, so I'm sorry. I really did cherish the bond we had and I hope to rekindle that because I miss you.

If you see this, please tell me♡

Marit

You always kind of confused me, but in a good way. What I remember is your mother's lentil soup, the moose tracks ice cream, and our trip to Daiso.

I got a samsung phone so I can't use the case but I still have it in my memories drawer.

It's amazing how you didn't get sick of all the rambling about oowooppa that I did.

I miss you too♡

Maddy X.

I do genuinely want to see you again, so I'm sorry I couldn't come to Moraga in the summer of '18.

However, you hurt me pretty badly when we were in 8th grade.

I would support you, even abandoning all my plans to take you to the hill to rant and yell and sob, but I would get nothing back.

I spent 50 hours on your birthday presents that year and got nothing back.

I wouldn't expect you to do the same, but at least a liiiitle bit of efforr would have been nice.

I'm still hurt. Sorry. I wish you success with your family, volleyball, and academics♡

John

You already know this but boy we needa fuck asap

Anyways your friendship is great and even though we float apart a little, you're president here.

I love how you're so happy to help me in my amoral schemes

♡love you boo

Abigail

How the hell did you get here?!

I'm impressed.

Caitlyn

I'm sorry I've been neglecting our friendship but we have too divergent interests and I have other things to focus on

You're a sweet girl though and a great person

Plus I'm allergic to eyeshadow now so

Terry

OKAY LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

i will fucking murder you you hear me

You thought i wasnt pissed after you cheated on me?

You thought you got away with it?

I know everything, aidan.

Everything.

Don't try to hide from me.

I will always win.

Why?

Because almost everyone hates you, knows you're a liar, and much less people are antagonistic towards me.

Harry

Here's the truth:

I only dated you to sour the friendship with Terry. Why? Because he's a shithead. You deserve better than him.

I'm sorry, but I never actually liked you.

Ava

Your overly energetic moods annoy the hell out of me im sorry

Please shut up once in a while

Please remember what i tell you at least sometimes

Please talk about something aside from yourself

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Adrian

Surprise surprise, i wanna fuck

Hmu youre hot

Also funny so like

👍👌

Sanjana

Please learn to keep your mouth shut goddammit

you didnt have to tell everyone about my plot involving dean!

Eliza

You're gonna date a druggie in the near future.

But you know what, you're great.

Sorry i hit you that one time it was a joke

Juri

I'm almost certain you won't see this

I understand youre evangelical but please stop preaching to me

You're a really nice girl but youre kind of hollow and a prude

Not too horribly fun to be around, sorry

Lily M.

I love you so much oh my god

You always light up my mornings and its amazing

Keep doin you boo

Braeden

That one time, i wasnt just asking to hang

I was asking you out

Is your skull really that thick?

I liked you, you know.

Dean

You shouldn't even be on this list cause you're too insignificant

But like lowkey i wanna fuck

Your girlfriend can do much better than you but i on the other hand cannot so like

🙃

Ryan N.

Again, like with a lot of other people, I wanna fuck.

That is all.

Chris P.

Please stop whining

Otherwise youre a great guy

Tyler

Oh, you're the hard hitter here

Mothafucka ive been writing about you to shit on this blog

Get in me right now

Just take me

In more ways than one

Also sorry im so awkward when we kiss or you pick me up im just taken aback by you yknow

♡

Ties

I still intend on fucking with you.

I will haunt you for a longass time bitch

You made a fuckin mistake crossing me

The end

[super-lemon-sama]

Tag game! 

Tagged by the Speedmeme herself: @yarewagon

 Rules: Answer 30 questions. Tag 10 blogs you want to get to know better.

Nickname(s): Lemon and Marie. 

Like 90% of all my self inserts are named Marie (sometimes marina or mariana) so sometimes I forget that it isnt actually my real name  

Occasionally people will call me Preuss and it always make me feel so cool B’)

there’s also RiRi (RyeRye), but only my mom calls me that, so dont (ง •̀_•́)ง

 Gender: Female (But I’m down with any pronouns bc I’m pretty fluid 👍)

 Sign: Libra (Yeah I am was a dirty homestuck, fight me)

 Height: 5″4 (162 cm) 

((but I feel like I’m 2 ft bc my brother is 6″4, friggen titan lookin ass...)

 Current time: 2:02 PM

 Favourite band(s): 

(( I like a bajillion bands and 90% of them are super edgy, dont judge me  ;w;))

The edgy bands I usually listen to (mostly while drawing or animating): mother mother,  Perfect Circle, mindless self indulgence, glass animals, sickkick, mutemath, getscared, highly suspect, celldweller, creature feature, angelspit, In this moment,  Mac Demarco, Crywank, andrew jackson jihad, Yungblud,  arctic monkeys, twenty one pilots,  the neighborhood, weathers, nicole dollanganger

Sweeter bands:  Cavetown, gregory and the hawk, jukebox the ghost, fun

The bands that I've been a fan of for so long that I have listen to all their albums at least a billion time:  Paramore, Panic at the disco, the hoosiers, mumford and sons,  Perfect Circle, mindless self indulgence, creature feature

Also all the bands Yarewagon listed: Gorillaz, Franz Ferdinand, Studio Killers, Florence + The Machine, Daft Punk (these are 10/10, good choice op)

 Favourite solo artist(s): hhhhh my monkey brain is too simple for this tbh, if you make music you are a band, that’s just how it is. ;w;

 Song stuck in my head: 

I have at least five songs stuck in my head at all times  bc I’m constantly listening to music, singing and doing animations to music

Some In my head rn are: Cavetown- Lemon boy, Flyleaf- I’m so sick, Glass Animals- Pork soda

 Last movie I saw: Black panther (?)

 Last show I watched: JOJO 

 When did I create my blog: April 2013 HOLY SHIT

 What do I post: It’s changed A LOT the past few years but I’ve always tried to mainly post my art 

my first posts were like minecraft hetalia and mlp posts and rebloged a lot of “haha lel teh random” shit (￣︶￣;)

then it’s been back and forth with mlp, fallout, homestuck, and dont starve

but now im a JOJO blog  ☆*~ ⸂⸂⸜(രᴗര๑)⸝⸃⸃ ~*☆

(I might still post homestuck stuff occasionally tho hhh)

Last thing I googled: Emoticons ＼(・ω・)/

 Do I have any other blogs: Yes... a lot. actually

but the only ones I ever really use are-

@agreatbountyofshame which is my self insert blog 

and

@koji-motion-clone-commotion which is a blog that’s a total mess to explain but basically I revamped some super old characters of mine and decided to make it like an osomatsu-san boot-leg 

I also technically has a NSFW blog but It’s horrible and I almost never post there so ://///

I have like two mlp ask blogs but they’re dead, rest in piss you tiny anime horses.

Do I get asks: Ehhh, that depends on the blog.

I used to get asks for my dont starve blog occasionally, but I kinda lost interest and didnt answer them as often, My Koji-Motion blog gets some but they usually come from Deviant art,

my pony blogs were flooded, pony blogs get so much attention Y’all, I die.

I super love getting asks though! 

So if you have a spare second or two please send any random ask to either of my other blogs, (or even this one, though this isnt really an ask blog)

I’d love you forever, thanks

Why did I choose my URL: Bc I super vibe with Okuyasu and bein gay

(also I made a long list of jojo character names but fused with another word and I figgin loved this one)

 Following: 332

 Followed by: 366 and I love all of you thank you so much, you fill me with so much heart feel good energy.

 Average hours of sleep: Either 12, 4, or 0. sleep is wack Y’all

 Lucky number: 7 but I also like 5 and all even numbers. they’re reliable number

 Instruments: In order of most to least experience- Piano, recorder, and Guitar

 What am I wearing: “a t-shirt and shorts a true fashion icon” SAAAAAAME

Dream job: “Animator or a concept artist would be rad”  YASS QUEEN OH MY GOD, But I’d also kill to be a story board artist, jghsdkgfk

 Favourite food: hhhh all? all foods? I have a super sweet tooth tho so I guess baked foods and candy

 Nationality: American (The rest of my family is hella German tho so I’m exotic white bread ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  )

 Favourite song: n-no. I cant. Pwease (*T▽T*) there are to many

 Last book I read: Oh jesus who knows. I’m to busy listening to people read for me to ACTUALLY read, lmao.

 Top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: 

#1: JOJO, but only if I had a stand, otherwise what’s even the point ┐(￣ー￣)┌

#2: Homestuck but only if I was a player duh. who wouldnt want the chance to have an amazing adventure even at the risk of horrible death? ... Okay actually when I put it that way-

#3: uhhh Maybe the Oblivion/skyrim universe bc magic and adventure but also you can explore and just gather shit if you want. (not a big fan of the whole cival war thing tho, ghfdghdfg )

otherwise I guess the pokemon universeor an anime universe where I have any sort of powers ヽ/❀o ل͜ o\ﾉ

I’ll tag some of my “biggest fans” and some other wonderful people:

@chernobylfailureter @ask-treats-sweets @happyeffect @okuyasustolemyheart @gingerweed-man