#im so scared what if i dont get in im gonna have to be a dropout forever and like i know theres nothing wrong with that but its just the | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skunkes · 2 months

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#a doodley #i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash #anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago #im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up #and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad #like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to #quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen #and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be #and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die #and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago #and your brothers that passed away #recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7 #the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad #said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then #i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was #like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry #im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible #i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad

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miwtual · 1 year

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im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website

#kai.txt #negativity tw #(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them)#we make gifs and nobody reblogs them #when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds #'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op'#reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something #that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place #we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does #to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting #and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces #go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets #that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases #or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place #but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces #they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either #they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters #im just so fucking tired of the disrespect #and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site #we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.

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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months

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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

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wildglitch · 1 month

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Im 2 hours and a half away from debating infront of my class for 30 minutes. Im so fucked

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aibouart · 3 months

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compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......

chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon

#granted theres a glaring issue in one of them #i am not pointing it out lest you end up noticing it when you wouldnt normally~#my art #art q #digital painting #oc #mew #pokemon #purrloin #also i put in my request for availability change #apparently they can reject it...#i just cited second job as reason as to why i need mondays off now #my manager is gonna be super pissed tho cuz they always get mad at everyone who changes their availability #but like i mentally cant keep up with the randomised schedule #esp when i could find out the day before my day off that its my only day i can do comms #i dont have enough time to work my schedule for that w chores and having to go buy food or cat food etc etc #it will come into effect start of next month if they accept it #if they dont then ill just keep resubmitting until they write me upfor it lol idk #i was even nice and specifically asked other higher up staff what the best day to ask off was so it didnt hurt them too bad #but i ranted in stream the other day how like im not responsible for if the store gets fucked just cuz i took one day off my schedule yanno #its not my job to keep that from happening #also im part time and if i was full time id still have 2 guaranteed days off so like ??? idk #scared abt getting the cold shoulder and whatnot the next few weeks from the manager tho #also i stayed up till 4am by accident #and got up at 8am anyways #wish my ass luck

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moeblob · 3 months

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Amazing, take some of the side character demons from Evil Bound.

Vincie is a menace to Chuck and Chuck alone so in Hell, Chuck hexes his hand behind his back so that he isn't grabbed as much (and it's harder to pet him). Chuck is like the most irresponsible older sibling ever to demons though so Kelvin recruits him (as an older sibling vibe) to go help him get his ACTUAL older sibling from Earth. Chuck agrees. And then drags Vincie from Hell with them because no one else wants to babysit him and he refuses to unbind the hex just to re-hex when he returns to Hell.

In Hell, Kelvin actually doesn't appear much different than his human form! Like Kronos, the lines under his eyes are red in Hell but black on earth. Chuck however? In Hell he has wolf-ish ears and has a fur lining his neck (note the neck scars in human form). In addition to that he has four eyes in Hell (note the scars under his eyes in human form). Vincie just has horns in Hell. And! In Hell the hex doesn't have a silly looking "tied up" look, it's invisible unless Vincie strains it with movement and then its red text. But it shifts on earth to be visible.

Vincie's biggest agony for the entirety on earth is "dude it's colder here than in Hell I want a jacket to slip my arms into BUT I CANT BECAUSE IM BOUND".

#my characters #amazing show stopping rng wheel thanks #i have my oc plots on a wheel - thats 80 different options! wow! - and spun it #i spun twice and the first time it was the bodyguard plot that i drew a few days ago #the second time was evil bound #i genuinely think it new its a bad day and im not doing well so it took it easy on me with things id done recently #anyway ive never colored kelvin before which i realized today #i only have pencil art of him #also fun fact about their lil earth adventures #they fucking fail horrifically the first time they go and kronos doesnt go back #then they go back to try and get him to forcefully bring him back and theeeeen shit hits the fan #and so vincie is vibing with tolliver since hes basically useless without hands and then oops!#no more hex! and so he starts to get really super scared and tolliver is like uh isnt that a good thing your hands are free now #and vincie is horrified because the only way to break a hex from a distance is if the caster is near dead or dead #and if thats the case chuck is probably dead and that means what if kronos and kelvin are dead #how is he gonna get back to hell alone and is HE going to get punished for it #but then kronos and kelvin show up and take vincie back to hell with the not breathing chuck #but its fine in the end bc the succubi bring him back to ... life ? question mark? anyway hes revived #but vincie does have a part where hes just crying in tollivers apartment bc he thinks hes gonna be punished #for not helping the other demons and then they died #but chuck dying is basically why kronos goes back to hell - he feels responsible (hes at fault so good for him to own up)#vincie is one of the very few demons who doesnt have dark sclera #chuck vincie and kronos all have black sclera while the succubi have gray #i dont think there was ever a reason for it tbh i should make up a reason #time to go lie down and not exist the rest of the night if i can avoid it

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way2gosuperrstarr · 1 month

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watch my body disintegrate into a pile of ash like a cartoon character who just got struck by a lightning bolt (JOINT PAIN JOINT PAIN JOINT PAIN JOINT PAIN) (just got off work)

#salmon jibberish #god you horribly wipe out on your bike and injure yourself ONE TIME in middle school and suddenly youre inflicted with lifelong knee/joint a #d leg pain 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄#worm lore drop 🔥🔥🔥#can you really call it lore its nothing crazy #i was riding my bike w my friend and their mom and we were on a steep hill and i got scared and braked and flew off my bike and down #the hill #i got to miss like i think a week or two of gym because the scab on my knee was so big i literally couldnt bend it #it'd melt off every time i took a shower too #<- that was probably kinda gross sorry #scabs on both my knees #one was bigger and made my knee unable to bend #and one on the palm of one of my hands that made me unable to bend my thumb #we didnt go to the doctor or anything for it i just didnt do anything for like a week lol #afterward one of my other friends said my knees look weird 💀#<- not mad abt that i just think its funny #me when i yap in the tags #sorry gang #and of course i got myself a job that requires genuinely running around all day #my legs have given out twice at work and thats what finally pushed me to get a knee brace #just one for now bcs . expensive . i just gotta guess which leg o think is gonna give me the most trouble that day #idk i just tend to deny myself help . i dont think i deserve it . i really only got pushed for this bcs i didnt want to get obliterated by a #dog at work if my knee gave out 1) while walking a dog or 2) while in the daycare in a crowd of dogs #idk i dont like making my own life easier i dont think i deserve it . i dont think im suffering enough to need help but yk #ANYWAY #good news is we have ROTISSERIE CHICKEN FIR DINNER LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO #IM GONNA DRAW NOW 💥💥🔥🔥🔥

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wish-i-were-heather · 2 days

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im realizing i dont know where my headphones are and im panicking

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thatsgonnaleaveamark · 2 months

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booked a hotel and got the concert ticket aghhhh

#i talk #still gotta get the train ticket too but mannn i get way too worked up over this stuff #been procrastinating it for like a month now like i Want to go but there are so many unknown variables and that shit is scary #first time going to a concert in another country alone and i spent a lil more than i wouldve wanted but hopefully its gonna be worth it #and like im most likely completely overthinking this (as i do most things) and everythings gonna be completely fine #but ahh so many what if's so much uncertainty #but im also excited its like a tiny step outside of my comfort zone and you gotta start somewhere bc id love to travel alone more #(mostly bc i wanna travel but dont have anyone to go with but thats a whole other thing)#and ive been rly into this band for a few years now and i really want this chance to see them live bc theres prob not gonna be another one #(watch them come to my city next year lmaoo)#god im not made for this but do it scared!! do it alone!! i want to experience more things in life!!#ive literally talked to my therapist about this extensively and to several coworkers and everyones like do it! its a great first step!#went through every thing that could go wrong (but very likely will not) and alternatives for every situation

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sapphicsnzs · 5 months

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sometimes this kink makes me feel so guilty and i wish i didn’t have it

#snz blog #snz kink #snzblr #like i dont wanna talk about myself being sick cause im scared im gonna get judged #i try to be so careful about getting other people sick and i test every time i get sick but i just feel guilty #i don’t even know the point of this i just feel guilty and bad that i have this kink sometimes #i don’t know what this post even is probsvh my sleep deprived brain being dumb #i’m just worried people are judging me and coming to conclusions that i’m careless with other peoples health snd i swear im not #that’s it lol my brain is working overtime

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jrueships · 1 month

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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐

#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um #so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of #which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time #but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work #BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one #i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule #so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule #and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one #sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me #sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore #n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr #i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT #I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO #like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days #but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2 #BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there #bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a #trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION #im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like #we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up #i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING #i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid

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chiimeramanticore · 1 day

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#im not dead quit asking #I'm just really really really not doing well #sorry if i scared anyone. that wasnt my intent #things got. let's say worse. for me irl. more complicated for sure #i hate to publicize my breakdown I really do. but maybe i... need this? in a weird way?#i haven't really been adjusting well to having a platform online. that's not anyone's fault but mine ofc #i feel that my 'fans' (if ive earned the right to call them that) dont and frankly cant ever care for me as a person #i dont know you and you dont know me. you dont know all of me at least. just what i make public. what i allow others to see #i had it kinda bullied into me that i need to keep my mouth shut abt my own issues. and ive spent a lot of this year trying to unlearn that #maybe publicizing this is a bad idea anyway #I just know ive been more honest abt my emotions and my personal life with my friends and my partner #and not everyone enjoys it but i know I'm not like. traumadumping so i feel somewhat assured that anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt my life-#-probably wasnt all that interested in forming a close relationship w me to begin with. even if theyre friendly at first #everyone else; the people who I know care about me; have shown me that through their actions #my point is being honest abt how youre doing w other ppl is a good idea. revolutionary i know lol #and i still don't know a lot of you personally but #parasocial or not i got some very genuine sounding messages while I was gone. and i. feel really bad that i worried those people #I guess theres my proof that people would care if i disappeared suddenly. people would notice pretty quick it seems #im never gonna kms btw. even if i didnt have the support i have im simply too stubborn to die lol. to put it lightly #and to those who thought this was abt fandom drama: it's not. those who shall not be named are genuinely the least of my problems these days #I'm on a journey of self actualization. or something. im trying to get my shit together. im trying to stop being clinically depressed lol #but god keeps throwing wrenches in my plans and. i beat myself up about it too much #but that's just life. they say you make a plan and god laughs #im. trying to be okay with just riding the wave. im impatient but if i keep trying to somehow speed up time im just gonna exhaust myself #which I think is where im at now. burnt out #and on top of all that i still feel this need to like. perform for you guys #if i dont keep making content everyone will forget i exist. if i dont make another video essay this year can i even call myself a youtuber #etc etc. its the spiral its impostor syndrome we've all been there #im trying to end this on a positive note but idk. i dont have all the answers yet #hoping i figure it out soon. i hope you dont forget me in the meantime

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whiskingskin · 7 months

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Dudes will have millions of dollars and all the free time in the world and a cool car and their own company and endless free time and with all that power they will sit at their computer and bash 1/3rd of the very website they own

#predestrogen #hammercar #like how stupid do you have to be...#“Im gonna buy the transgender website. sure hope theres no transgenders 🫶”#how long until there is no more safe space online for trans women???#and from then? then what? there will be no space for them at all #fuck u matty-poo i hope you have a very inconvenient day and step in a puddle and your socks get wet #*gets banned for having an opinion the cishets dont agree with*#i also hope that a car covered in hammers that sometimes explodes and throws the hammers everywhere #is somewhat near you <3 #babes ur not winning this.... the silenced do not try to be heard with whispers. prepare for the screams lol #ik hes a wimp when one person writes out a vague threat n he gets so scared he nukes a third of the website #like #girl

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tamagotchikgs · 1 month

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my mom keeps listing off things i need to do and accusatorily asking why i never do anything like art anymore n i am just. so exhausted. ive never been more tired i just want to burrow myself in the earth n disappear in the cold dirt

#i dont have energy for art and i honestly never have #ive never been creative #drawing sucks everything out of me and it takes me hours what it does other people a few minutes #i wasnt built for it either maybe #everything about living is so difficult for me #i cant even b loose and doodle #it doesnt happen #how can i think i was made to live when i cant even make art #silly joyful moments everyone else can #nothing feels good to me #except being with my boyfriend #im scared im gonna ruin everything #if not already w the way i look #then with how useless n empty n just snapping at everything to go away i get when im lost those bad things #ive never felt safe with anyone before so maybe itll be different but still im Scared #& on my own . its always the same its always tainted w that ache that dirty stain on everything that hits like nails being driven into me #i cant go shopping #i cant listen to music #i cant feel the sun on me or listen to birds #i cant look at water #i cant go grocery shopping #i cant even hear the sound of metal cutlery #only 1 second and im gone #lost in the agony n dizziness #i want to think i can escape it i can get better #but i dont know if i can #or how much false hope i can keep forcing myself through #it always comes back to me #no matter how much i hide n avoid it all #because im the problem

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moeblob · 4 months

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Anyway they can change between being tiny and human sized. And when they're tinier they can only be seen by the other fae or their selected humans. So if you just passed Noll on the street while Shavuli was perched on his shoulder chatting away you wouldn't see or hear her.

#my characters #a lot of the fae who are trying to get noll to pick a human take turns joining him as he wanders if he opts to be human sized #if he opts to be small and fly around none of them can actually find him to follow bc he does it precisely to be alone #and makes careful to avoid all of them when he dips #which furthers their friendly obsession with him being their void like where is he we lost him we gotta go bring him back from the abyss!#and hes just off on his own being crippled by anxiety at being a disappointment bc what if he isnt fun enough #absolutely unaware that all his friends are like we gotta go find him hes too good at this #hes going to win the game we have clearly set up to involve humans before he even recruits a human #cause he is TOO GOOD at slipping away ITS NOT FAIR we love him what a weird fae thats our lil guy!#noll really is just out there impressing all of his friends and not knowing hes impressing them bc hes too scared of being abandoned #and i was telling rae but when he does find the human he wants as his for the game #hes like ok so im gonna be honest here i turn into a big sword and you are definitely not going to be strong enough to carry me #and the human just like ok then pick someone else?#and hes like no no i cant you dont get it youre resourceful and im resourceful THEREFORE! i have an idea! just for us!#and then proceeds to shatter himself into shards basically #so that the human can have many smaller easy to control swords rather than one too big sword #and when all of the other fae see it they are absolutely delighted bc they didnt know he could do that! thats so cool! wow! they love him s #and he doesnt tell them that it actually really flippin hurts and being broken is agonizing but he wants to win so badly #anyway hello appreciate the void fae noll and his lil buddy shavuli who can turn into a spear C:#in her human form though she loves to wear hoodies instead of just like .... a skin tight suit with draping fabrics #she does wear biker shorts bc leggy.... she likes to have legs free #but she likes hoodies a lot

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seariii · 6 months

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hmm...

#vent post #seari talks #i feel a little scared... just thinking about the stuff i need to do... and i got a message that i cant answer on my own and the person who #i need the answer from wasnt... helpful... i dont know what to say now... i should say i'll look into it or something... but...#sigh... the whole situation is difficult since i have to... *big sigh* fuck...#if this goes wrong... will they blame me? what will happen to me?... i did ask back in the day... i have the messages... so technically im #safe but... sigh... how stressful...#and i have to check all of this other stuff too...#... i dont like this... i so dont like this... but its okay its gonna be okay... its just the beginning that its scary but once we actually #start running everything will get easier and easier and more comfortable and.... sigh...#for now... lets do what we- fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck who sent me a message fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck #i dont wanna open the message #*checks* okay everything will be okay... everything will be okay.... yes... *sigh*#IM OKAY EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY!!!!#i just have to focus on the matters at hand. i reported this so its gonna get reviewed now. and what i need to do is this other thing...#and study i have to do that too... and read that too... okay thats not difficult ive got this

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