#im sorry i keep roasting alex

[looking-for-orion]

rwrb movie text posts p2

[captainwans]

AM ERA PT. II (smau)

— ALEX TURNER

arabella series!

pairing: alex turner x fem! actress! reader

summary: the fans can’t get enough of their relationship and share their thoughts and feelings on the arabella mv, including a “new” discovery on y/n’s side from the comments.

timeline: 2014

note: layout / format by the beautiful @ithinkimokeei <3

masterlist!

Liked by zendaya, yourbestfriend and others

yourinstagram 🤍🖤

 ㅤ View all the comments

username babe yourinstagram just posted

username SHES A GODESS

username live love laugh y/n

breanahelders the woman you are 😩😍

yourinstagram you’re my woman 😙

matthelders didn’t know we shared her

breanahelders matthelders babe not now

username matt is so funny i love him

username oh no 🧎🏾‍♀️ what’s happening to me

mileskane looking beautiful love ❤️

yourinstagram ❤️😙

username i was waiting for miles to roast her

username no bc me too 😭😭

yourbestfriend holy mama i’m so gay 😳

officialelizabetholsen so real 😩

username the women in the comments ✨😌💅🏼

username alex doesn’t even have ig and if he had i know he be barking at how hot his gf is 😫

matthelders trust me he is barking

Liked by imsebastianstan, elsapataky and others

yourinstagram a little bts ✨ (📷: wife breana)

 ㅤ View all the comments

username my parents looks so hot

username i’m loving this new theme of hers!

username same!! i love how it matches the am

username the mv was so sexy idk if i wanted to look at alex or y/n

yourbestfriend nah i was looking at y/n the whole time who tf is alex?!! 🤨

username and you’re so iconic for that sis

username the content we’re getting lately is just immaculate keep going queen

username literally two of my worlds colliding

username y/n & arctic monkeys fans 🤝

username oh to be arabella

username *to be y/n

username what i also loved about the mv was that they put some clips from the arabella movie

username y/n am era > alex am era

matthelders who said she was YOUR wife?

yourinstagram me, myself & i 😌

breanahelders what she said 🤩 matthelders go get the divorce papers

username LMAO

username IM CACKLING THIS IS SO FUNNY

username this is so gold i love this trio

matthelders i’m telling alex 😡

username um hello is no one gonna talk about them KISSING in the mv??!

username i was literally waiting for that comment!!!

username their kiss is living in my head rent free ✨✨✨🤩🤩🤩🤩

username i still haven’t recovered from that

username forever jealous

username he was kissing me y’all

username sorry boo but that was me

username if alex had ig i would’ve asked him if her lips tasted like the galaxy’s edge

username and if he kissed the color of a constellation falling into place

username and asking him if his days end best when this sunset gets itself

mileskane username he’s sitting beside me and he confirmed that her lips did taste like the galaxy’s edge 😳 🌌

username gripping my hair, sliding against the wall, sobbing, crying, throwing fits—ALEX

username IM SCREAMING MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS 😭😭😭

username i love this comment section sm

Liked by officialelizabetholsen, madisonbeer and others

yourinstagram vogue ✨🤍

 ㅤ View all the comments

vogue: always a pleasure to have you 💋

username: y/n y/l/n is such an icon.

username: new era new y/n

breanahelders: those LEGS 😫

yourinstagram: open for you ;)

matthelders: can you two take this somewhere else pls 😒

mileskane: dang matthelders you just lost your girl

yourbestfriend: don’t blame him

matthelders: 💀💀 yourbestfriend

matthelders: just signed the divorce papers 😞 i can never win

breanahelders: matthelders babe don’t take this personally it’s not you

yourbestfriend: matthelders it is actually you

matthelders: yourbestfriend you can eat my foot

username: lmao y/bsf/n

username: i can’t with them

username: poor matt 😭😭

username: y/n’s comment section is a comedy show 😭😂

username: i love how breana and y/n are so gay for each other

username: i mean look at them i want them both

username: literally need her so bad 😫

username: HOW MANY LETTERS IN Y/N

username: ugh she’s everything

rosiehw: remind me why you’re not a model? 🤤

yourinstagram: i could never 😫

yourbestfriend: *you could i mean vs 👀

username: lmao yourbestfriend

username: no but seriously

username idk if i wanna be her or be with her

username: ok alex i get it now 😫

username: since no one has mentioned it is anyone else forgetting that i bet you look good on the dance floor was also about y/n

username: context pls

username: wait REALLY? EXPLAIN

username: that’s not true—is it??

username: he confirmed it during an interview years ago why are y’all so clueless

username: but he didn’t mention her name tho?? only that it was a “popular actress”

yourbestfriend: username put two and two together sis 😭

username: lmao do you think y/n knows

yourbestfriend: knowing her dumb ass i don’t think so

username: did y’all forget that y/n filmed a movie back in 2005 in sheffield 👀 yeah

username: there you have it

username: it all makes sense

username: i thought we all knew that 😭

username: in conclusion they were meant to be sorry i don’t make the rules

pinned comment 📌 yourinstagram: how come when i look for any information my only source is you guys (not that i’m complaining tho)

yourbestfriend: bc you’re so so fucking clueless that’s why babe

yourfriend: 😭😭😭

mileskane: how did we go from y/n’s legs to i bet you look good on the dance floor?

username: wtf is going on???

katiee_cook_: i’ve given up at this point

[kevinexyqueen]

An fanfic where Neil starded working for the Hatfords after his mom died but he is already dating Andrew and join the foxes anyway

so, andrew and neil meet in juvie when neil was like 14

he stayed there for 3 or 4months while his mother worked some things out

and there he bonded with andrew, told him some trues (he was 14 he was not thar good at keeping secrets yet) , they make a deal, a lot of drama etc etc

and then he has to break out from the place and andrew is like

" i'm going with you"

"no, you're not"

"yes, i am"

andrew can be fucking stubborn so yeah he goes with neil

(he already knows about aaron is a way to put more distance between them)

mary is pissed off, but andrew knows to much and she was not about to kill him

and she sees the way that andrew protect neil so in the end andrew stays with them

is not like someone will put real effort in looking for a foster kid

so she shows andrew how to use a knife (I think she didn't stop teaching neil, is a too valuable habilit)

and also a gun, and i have a headcanon that Andrew is just awful with it, and neil loves to make fun of him

anyway, they protect each other, kill some people, fall in love, learns russian, spar together, normal teenager stuffs

mary does not know, andrew doesn't like her but he doesn't kill her because he knows she is the only reason neil is still alive

they started dating after a year since they meet, so neil was 15 and andrew 16

idk neils/nathaniels age makes me confuse

also, andrew convinces neil to play exy without she knowing

(btw i forgot to mention neil was stefan when thet meet and alex when seattle happens)

and well like a just said Seattle happens

and after that neil can't just keep running, he won't be responsible for Andrew death as well

sooo, yep he calls stuart

Stuart tells them all the moriyamas bullshit, etc etc

they go to the FBI, neils is officially neil abraam josten, Andrew becames andrew minyard etc

after that andrew goes to live with aaron and Neil goes to england, it was safer that way for both of them

STUART KILLS NATHAN/LOLA YEAHH

continuing, they keep dating, long distance and all, andrew goes to england every month at least and do little jobs for neil's family

neil only do some translation works and he is pretty good at making deals (the irony) so he deals with a lot of other mobs family's and is like a lot people think he should become head of the family but that's a long history

anyway, all the canon shit with Andrew happens the same way, Tilda, Nicky, he turning down the ravens and he join the foxes

but he has some Hatford people watching over him so he doesn't beat all those man alone and doesn't take his meds (just needs to see a therapist for a couple of years)

even with all the Mafia shit neil still plays exy and he is better than he is in canon since he have been practicing with andrew for a few years (and also he spars with andrew so hr is a wayyyy better fighter and he also uses the knifes cause of andrew insistence and again all the mafia shit)

anyway, the Hatfords know about them but Andrew's family/the foxes (same thing, no?) doesn't

they come with a plan to take down the moriyamas and i have that in my head but don't know how to explain

but neils deals with a lot of mafia family's right? so like if the moriyamas kill him the Hatfords and idk the chinese as well will take revenge, and the moriyamas would loose since they are dealing with a war in japan and kengo is in hospital, nathan is dead etc etc

so, too much trouble to kill neil, so neil makes a peace offer with ichirou that while he is in the eau he won't kill him or the other foxes

so like, if rikos touches them he will be carving his own grave, and thats the whole point, cause Kevin's hand proven that riko's doesn't have any self control so the fucking plan is making riko angry

and we all know how good neil is at this, andrew is not happy

so yeah, neil needs to join some exy team and of course he will join the foxes because his bf right

NOW EVERYONE FINDING OUT ABOUT NEIL

because like, they are together for years, and not as much hurt as they are in canon, they didn't feel the need to tell anyone but they also doesn't care to hide and yes they hold hand in public and things like this

now neil only come on the same day the upperclassmen return cause there was no need for him to come early

so, like a hour before the reunion in the lounge andrew is like hey everybody in the car now or you're walking

and everyone is like ???? especially when andrew makes kevin go in the backseat

and he goes to the airport and nobody understands nothing, until neil comes

and he just completely ignores everyone im the backseat (yes even Kevin) and looks at andrew >that way< and andrew is a man in love, so he leans and gives neil a quick kiss and neil smiles at him and with a fucking soft voice says "hey baby"

andrew did not blush

anyway they started driving and andrew has his hand on neils leg and aaron, nicky and kevin are just fucking shook, they have no reaction at all, no words nothing because WTF

so when neils turns and says "hey guys, i'm neil" and is meet with three shocked faces staring at him he is trying so hard not to laugh and just goes "are you all okay"

nicky's is the first to recover and well... nicky... "ANDREW, WTF, YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, WHY DIDN'T U TOLD US, WHAT ABOUT REENE, WHAT"

andrew ignores him and turns on the radio, neil lights a cigarette and they start talking in russian

aaron doesn't say a word

anyway, neils fly was a little late so they're the last ones at the stadium

so when they enter the lounge and andrew is waking with some scary dude (because yeah neil can be pretty and scary) and when they sit in the sofa with thights to shoulders touching everyone is like what the fucking hell

aaron and nicky find some other place to sit, neil does some remark and they start talking in russian and yeah they don't know if they should ignore or no

until dan breaks the spell by asking since when andrew speaking russian and andrew just look at her completely bored until neil answers her

after that wymack (which as always is so fucking done) asks if they have some more languages to show off or if they could start

they both deadpan "yes there is" but are ignored

anyway during the reunion some try to ask questions but wymack stops them and neil and andrew just glare at the person and that's enough to make they shut up

until Aaron makes some shitty remark about both of them in german and neil goes to protective mood and roast aaron in the same language

nicky has to stop aaron from punching Neil (and andrew won the bet he made with Stuart about someone trying to punch neil before neil punches someone

and again wymack is so done

and then they break the news about the ravens coming south

which andrew and neil already know because Hatfords

andrew is still pissed off at kevin

and then neils says (on purpose) something about the moriyamas and everyone is staring at him like????

and the he just smile a little >that smile< and says "you really don't remember me kevin"

he wasn't wearing contacts or anything like that so Kevin's recognizes him

it's caos

but i'm to tired to keep writing sorry

[disaster-bay-leaf]

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

[captaindboss]

captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses

I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.

Montreal Canadians

Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)

Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)

Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)

Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”

“Everyone who has escaped”

“their ‘attitude problem’“

Boston Bruins

Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)

Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)

David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)

Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

[About Carlo] “He’s  a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”

“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]

“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]

Bonus, cause I’m weak:

“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]

“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]

Bl*ckh*wks

Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes) 

Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)

If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)

hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)

*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.

^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.

Write-ins

“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”

“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne” 

“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”

New York Rangers

Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)

Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)

Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)

Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.

Write-ins

“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]

“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]

“this is a hot team too bad they suck”

Toronto Maple Leafs

Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.

Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]

William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)

Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)

Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)

*= Freddie Andersen. 

Write-ins

“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]

“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]

“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]

Bonus, again, weak:

"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]

“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]

Detroit Red Wings

I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.

Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)

Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)

Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)

Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)

Write-Ins

“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD] 

“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]

“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]

Bonus

“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]

“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]

Los Angeles Kings

The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)

Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)

Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)

Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]

“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]

“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]

Philadelphia Flyers

Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)

Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes

Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes

Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)

*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.

Write-ins

“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”

“andrea helfrich” [ur right]

“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”

Bonus

“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]

“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]

Pittsburgh Penguins :(

Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)

Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)

Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes

*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.

Write-ins

“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]

“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]

“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]

St. Louis Blues

Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)

Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)

Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)

Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]

“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]

“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]

Buffalo Sabres

Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)

Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)

Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)

Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]

Write-ins

“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]

“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]

“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]

Bonus:

“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]

“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]

Vancouver Canucks

Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)

Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)

Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]

“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]

“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]

Bonus

“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]

“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]

New York Islanders

Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)

Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)

Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)

Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]

“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]

“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”

Calgary Flames

Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)

Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)

Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)

Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)

*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.

Write-ins

“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]

“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]

“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]

Washington Capitals

Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)

Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)

Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)

Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)

*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.

Write-ins

“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]

“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]

“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]

Colorado Avalanche

Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)

Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)

Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)

Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)

*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.

Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.

“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]

“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]

Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:

“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”

“erik "big horny" johnson”

“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”

“What that mouth do EJ?”

New Jersey Devils

Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)

Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)

Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)

Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)

*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).

Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.

“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]

“Gucciiiiiii”

“DSL GUCCI”

“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”

“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”

“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”

“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”

Dallas Stars

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!

Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)

Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)

Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)

Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)

*= Jamie Benn.

Write-ins

“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]

“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”

“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]

Edmonton Oilers

Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)

Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)

Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)

Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)

*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.

Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”

“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]

“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]

“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]

Drai Quotes

“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]

“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”

“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]

“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]

Winnipeg Jets

Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.

Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)

Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)

Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)

Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)

*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.

Write-ins

“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”

“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]

“I don't know who windy pegg is”

“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]

“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”

“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”

“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”

“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”

“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]

“Goatboi”

“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”

“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]

“laine looks like a goat”

“Laine’s Beard”

“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]

Arizona Coyotes

Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)

Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)

Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)

Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)

*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.

Write-ins

“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]

“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”

“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??” 

Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.

Carolina Hurricanes

Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)

Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)

Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)

Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)

*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]

Write-ins

“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]

“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]

“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]

San Jose Sharks

Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)

Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)

Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)

Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]

“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]

“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]

Ottawa Senators (lol)

Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)

The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)

Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)

Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)

Write-ins

“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]

“.... we're a team“ [i-]

“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”

Bonus:

“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]

“Just based on headshots I���m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”

Tampa Bay Lightning

Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)

Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)

Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)

Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....

 Write-ins

“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]

“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]

“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]

Florida Panthers

 Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)

Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)

Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]

“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]

“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]

Anaheim Ducks

Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)

No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)

John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....

“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]

“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]

“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]

Bonus

“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]

“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao] 

Nashville Predators

Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)

PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)

Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)

Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)

*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]

Write-ins 

“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”

“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]

“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]

Columbus Blue Jackets

Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)

Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)

Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)

Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]

Write-ins

“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]

“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]

“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]

Minnesota Wild

J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)

Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)

Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)

Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)

*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.

Write-ins

“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]

“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]

“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]

FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.

Vegas Golden Knights

William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)

Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)

Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]

“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]

“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]

Bonus/Honorable mentions:

The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo

Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Drag Race (S09E07) 9021-HO Airdate: May 5, 2017 Ratings: 0.694 Million :: 0.3 18-49 Demo Share Score: 9/10 **********SPOILERS BELOW********** Ever had a really terrible day where your whole world is ripped apart? That was my day yesterday... And even though I've already watched '9021H0' & 'Ru Paul's Roast' (and purposefully have avoided writing reviews), I thought it was Friday... Or was wishing it was... As was like Please, GOD, get me home so I can watch these Drag Race bitches so they can lift me up, because lorrrrrd... I'm falling apart. I'm a struggling writer with two degrees taking whatever work I can get freelance writing, working at well known South Florida Bar on the weekends (and that job along with the 5 hour total commute a day through the dredges of Miami is killing me)... But Spotlight Saga is my baby, every dollar I make in everything goes to making this existential media online mag dream come true, and it is not cheap. I hate to turn this all about, 'ME ME ME ME MEEEEE' as Valentina would croon, but I gotta have my Alexis Michelle moments too and I really need my place where I can just let everything out and connect with you all... Avid fans of the show, readers of everything Spotlight Saga, and all the people at 'World of Wonder' and the contestants of the show that will see what I will say next. For almost two weeks, I have everyone in Miami saying, 'I'M ON SPEED TOO!', 96% have no idea what they're referencing but lawd, Trinity girl... And really all the contestants who made this episode such a success really have gotten me through a tough time through dealing with 3 deaths in the past week... And a sudden realization that my fight for Nina's treatment on the show was a reflection was something I was feeling at work and in life. I identify with you, Nina, because just like you, I'm talented, deal with with depression, and am a little bit crazy, girl. All your struggles that we see stripped down to the bone, especially on WOW's 'Untucked' don't go unnoticed. And I'm always here with open arms if you need me. You are beautiful, you are talented, and are going to get you some acting classes! Again, Drag Race & Untucked is my last living connection to the 'Gay World', and even though some of you shits send me death threats after I critique this show, it really is one of the only positive experiences in Gay Culture I have left. I love that we start out '9021HO' with the girls going back to the workroom, Alexis finally celebrating a well deserved win, Nina admitting her issues with getting in the way of her success, Shea Couleé delivering the 'I'ma lift you up in church and put you on the cross and crucify your ass if you don't do you and stop this mental block you throw up that keeps you from succeeding (Not only does Nina need to hear that, so do I - You are a perfection Shea), and Trinity 'The Tuck' Taylor giving us that true Floridian 'Another one down, now the real bitch can prove it's her town' Florida 'Suit of Armor' bit. Start your engine, mother fuckers... Ru enters the workroom and announces that Jenny Garth & Tori Spelling will be the guest judges for the upcoming challenge... And that the contestants will be transporting back to 1993 putting on their version of '9021HO'... Notable, because Farrah Moan announces that was the year he was born... Alex's face is priceless, 'You were born in 93?' That was my reaction to finding out that the barback at my weekend job telling me he was born in 2000! Do you know the debauchery I was knee deep 'In the yeaaaaaar 2000000000!' Ru takes Alex's reaction up an even larger notch (cuz shhh, Ru is much older - not that Ru ages) 'Im gonna fucking fuck you up!' Peppermint won the lip sync, I'm sorry... BURNED THAT LIP SYNC DOWN TO THE MOTHER FUCKING GROUND, so Ru gives her the honor of leading the group an assigning the roles... An honor that's both a curse and a blessing. Peppermint takes the high ground and asks the contestants what roles they feel the most right for, and really tries to give everyone the role they not only want, but feel the comfortable in. Cant please everybody, especially when there's pressure to perform at your highest ability, Aja has a meltdown from hell after being cast as Grandrea... But Peppermint isn't having it. Bitch we love you, but if you don't know want the role and are going to bring that kind of attitude to the production, Shea will gladly take the role she doesn't really want and make it one of the best in the show... That's kind of what she does. And I know that Aja was regretting this one later. Those cameras are on you almost 24/7, so if you have a meltdown like that, not only are they going to feature it prominently on the show, they are going to throw it up in your face when it comes time to face the music. I have it paused on Aja's 'reaction face'... Baby, if we are to be wed, this isn't the face you should ever make again. Alex is quick to click, 'You're going to have to grow up and accept the challenge.' Queens, going forward, if Shea gladly accepts the role you don't want, worry, she will take it, make it, and easy fucking bake it... And you don't want that coming up on the runway. Garth & Spelling introduce themselves and get to work... Its a bit like Snatch Games some contestants are automatically killing it (Trinity Taylor, Valentina, Shea Coulee), some need a bit of direction but are able to take it like pros and turn it in to magic (Alexis Michelle takes notes and follows the lead of Garth & Spelling, and for the most part Farrah - she just takes a bit longer than others, but hey, that's part of her charm, and Sasha Velour who didn't do bad, but didn't do great either), and then there are the those that bombed (Aja, Nina, Peppermint).... And there's nothing worse than watching these Queens on Drag Race bomb. Despite the criticisms I get for reviewing this portion of the show (God, get me to Untucked), I grow attached to all these contestants and want everyone to succeed, sometimes despite themselves. We all get in our way sometimes, and rather than seeing everyone bomb I want to Ru Paul to be put in a position where she doesn't know who to put in the top, the bottom, or even make safe... I want to everyone to shine. Everything is taped, the editing begins, and the queens prepare for a sick runway... You know what that means... Your VH1 mandated Drag Race workroom therapy sessions (I'm sure WOW is like, can we just do things our way, PLEASE... Are the ratings really that much different from Logo's, especially on a Friday Night.) The Queens talk prom, Alex has a pic of he and his date at prom in full drag... Alexis Michelle haters, can you please give this bitch some credit... That's an act of a true pioneer, that takes balls, and if you don't have balls, it takes gumption. Valentine was prom king... Perfection isn't surprising with this one. Now I am already a huge Trinity Taylor fan, this is a Florida bitch... Its hot down here and we have to put up with craziest people in the world, and if they're not born here they migrate from literally all over the world to bring their crazy to one huge hodgepodge of sweltering, alligator 'rasslin, porta-potty lighting on fire and tippin' insanity. It takes a special kind of crazy to survive the Everglades, bitch. Hearing Trinity's story about quitting the last two years of high school to take care of his grandmother touched me, especially since my partner of 11+ years had to do the same after his mother died at age 7 and his 5 sisters abandoned him to live with and take care of his father who turned into a scared and lonely, verbally and emotionally abusive man who eventually was taken by cancer in his final hours as my partner was robbed of his high school experience. If there was one thing I could change in this world, it isn't to take that experience that ultimately made him stronger in life and one of the most loyal and amazing men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing... Not to mention a loving, dedicated caretaker and lover who sticks by me through all my bullshit, self-destructive behavior, depression, and dependence issues over the years... But to go back and just sit next to him while he has to endure it, just so that someone else was there. Trinity, the next time you are in Miami, we would like to offer you the full Prom experience. I'm not sure Ginger Cubs are your thing, but my partner is certainly not that... So you get the best of both worlds, and my offer is real. I live on Collins in Miami Beach so 'The Prom' experience is something we can definitely give you in full, the 305 'White Boys in a Cuban World' version anyway... Followed by a senior trip and the whole nine. And I totally agree with Alex, I also truly believe those we've lost are there, watching, carrying us, picking us up when we need to get the fuck up off the floor... Even if we can't see them, 'cause god knows we can feel them. Runway Time!!! Ru is ready with 90's pastel, looking mighty, like a Queen who owned the 90s... Oh she was? And the 80s? And the 00's and the 10's too... Oh, that's right! This outfit reminded me of that, silly me! The makeup is a bit, uhm, off... But we're going to act like the makeup and the wig are flawless... oh we're not? Ok. Category is... Big Hair, Everywhere! Valentina... What were you guys expecting? Anything less than perfection? Diana Ross was her inspiration and it reads, but I wanted some early, EARLY 90's touch to this runway, and this is reading 70's. Farrah Moan, Crushed it. When Farrah doesn't stand out in challenges, she's there on the runway making grown men weep. Trinity Taylor, I love her everything, she can do no wrong, and if there is wrong, I'm sure it was someone else. This look is sick, and Trinity's voiceovers just make every step on the runway that much more entertaining. Top 3 at the end or bust. Sasha Velour... Big hair is inspiring a life of 70's/80's looks and yes 'Sid ate Nancy' is perfect. Fuck it, this look is sick, no complaints and anyway punk is forever Brooklyn. Peppermint... Again with the 70's, but hey... No one said '90's twist' so I guess I should stfu. Peppermint looks ready for Studio 54, and she's jumping the line, baby. Nina... YASSSSSSS, see this is what I'm talking about. Even if Nina bombed the challenge look at this early 90's Club Kid inspired runway with a Banana Fana Fo'Fina twist, that paint, RAWR. Shea Couleé... OK. Did someone say milkshake earlier? This is one of my favorite looks. Alexis Michelle... Big Hair, Floating in the water... Oh my! Not only does Alexis give us Disney Villain realness, she also ties it in to the mirror character she played. This is a winning look. Period. Aja... I like it... This is one of her better looks and there is definitely a progression throughout the show in terms of growth in the runway. It's just hard to follow Alexis Michelle... But it's hard to deny that Aja didn't do exactly what the judges asked of her here and more. 9021-HO... Living for this intro. Nina & Peppermint open, neither one dazzle, but this is not Nina's challenge. They immediately introduce them to Shea's 'Grandrea' and it's lights out. The divide is widening, and I'm not talking about Michelle Visage 🙃. Valentina & Farrah rock, the edits are surprisingly strong for Farrah, but Valentina could outshine the sun. Sasha Velour looks like Alaska Thunderfuck & Sharon Needles had a baby and left it home by itself. If Sasha had turned the volume up, she could've been in the top, what stopped her from taking this to the next level?! Trinity, my God, this performance has gotten me through the roughest two weeks in my life as of late... And if you pause the show at any point in the prom, there is not a frame that doesn't include Trinity Taylor that won't have you on your knees, laughing until you cry. The lip sync... A classic. Let's be honest, CeCe Peniston's 'Finally' had a much larger reach than the gay community... It was an electronic music classic, it was gay club classic, and even remixed to perfection for rave and club scenes throughout the 90's and early 00's. YES, Aja has made incredible strides and growth throughout the season, but Nina took that lip sync down to the river. It is what it is. Cheers to one of the best episodes of Drag Race to originally air on VH1. Now, excuse me while I catch the fuck up!

[kinzelee94]

13 Reasons Why Reaction: Episode 8

TAPE 4 - SIDE B

“Everybody wants to talk. No one wants to do anything.”

Fucking Justin just shut the fuck up nobody likes you.

“One thing. If one thing had gone differently somewhere along the line… maybe none of this would have happened.”

“We’ve got a safe space. We keep secrets, and we have an all-you-can-eat cookie platter.” My kind of place.

“Just take a brochure. They have scholarships.” “I don’t need a brochure, don’t need your scholarship, and I don’t need four years of wasted time. I have skills.” “And a sweet Mustang.” “Thank you.”

Alex roasting Justin now. He fucking deserves it though.

Hannah’s face when Linda starts her poetry XD

“Is this your idea of some twisted version of wilderness therapy?” “Not a nature lover?” “I love nature, especially in pictures in books. What’s with the rope? No, seriously, this is getting messed up. So what, are you gonna tie me up to a tree and force me to listen to the rest of the tapes?” “No, we’re just going for a little walk.” “How little is little.” “Just up that hill.” “No freaking way.” It’s a fucking cliff XD

"Wow. You do a really convincing imitation of a thinking, feeling human." "Hannah... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed or humiliated. I know what that's like." "You do?" "I'm a skinny faggot who writes poems. I mean, please." "I don't think you're supposed to use that word." "Mmm. You're not. I'm allowed."

Fuck you, Mr. Porter. “Either you’re going to have to make some changes next year, or... maybe think smaller.”

“Did you have a sense of how she felt about your interaction?” “She didn’t say.” Oh you just wait Mr. Porter. She’ll say how she felt soon enough.

“I know this is not the subject of our meeting, but do you know where your son is right now?” “I assume he’s in class.” “He isn’t. He walked out of the school this morning and he hasn’t come back.” Seriously, FUCK YOU MR. PORTER.

“I may be crazy, but I am not that crazy.” “People free solo it all the time.” “People who climb things, people who climb rocks...”

“It’s chalk. Put it on your hands, like this. Or you’ll slip.” “What?” “Come on, are you a man or not?” “Not! Most definitely not. I grant you that, no question.”

“Good, that’s good. Now try and slow your breath down.” “How do I do that?” “By breathing slower.” “And what do I do about my heart, which is about to explode out of my chest?”

CLAY JUST GOT A ROCK TO HIS FUCKING FACE I S2G THIS KID

“I saw this YouTube video once where this guy in Spain was walking on this crane. He had to be at least 15 stories. He’s walking, walking, walking. And then he slips. He let’s out this loud scream. Seconds later, wham!” “Wham what?” “Well the camera went black, but I’m pretty sure he died.” “Shit, Clay.”

Can I just say who beautiful Hannah’s poem is.

Clay is seriously so slow on figuring out the obvious sometimes.

“You were there. You saw her.” My other baby Tony I just want to protect you.

Ryan you asshole, people’s private things are their PRIVATE THINGS.

“I should have talked to her. But... Look, I liked Hannah. She was a friend. But the girl was a lot. She was drama. And I was apparently the only guy at Liberty who didn’t grab her ass or stare at her tits. And so I always got to hear about it... And on that particular day, I didn’t want to deal, so I let her walk away.

“Clay, you know I’m gay, right?” “What? No, I didn’t know that. How was I supposed to know that?” “I thought everyone knew it.” “I don’t think everyone knows.” “I think a lot of people know it.” CLAY SERIOUSLY you’re so oblivious.

“My mom. I’ll text her. We do not need that particular hysterical phone call at this moment.” “Maybe if you didn’t keep all those secrets from her, you know, she-” “Oh, fuck you, with your secrets.”

“I knew sooner or later you’d want the tapes back.” “You knew?” “Yeah. You haven’t heard yours yet.” I feel like if I didn’t know what his tape was already from reading the book I’d be flipping shit as a viewer just like WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR TAPE ABOUT CLAY WHAT DID YOU DO YOU SEEM LIKE SUCH A NICE INNOCENT BEAN

Oh Clay gave Mrs. Baker the poem he’s such a beautiful soul :( That’s gotta be so hard for her to read knowing she was in such a bad place when writing it.

I TEARED UP TWICE THIS EPISODE, I KNOW IM GOING TO BE LEGITIMITELY CRYING SOON

[scenarios-on-ice]

WHy dO yOu HaVE tO sAY GOodByE

(well I guess he’s not referred to as a ghoul but he might as well be one now, considering that he’s framed out and can’t eat human food anymore…what’s the difference, really?

Saiko saved him from Donato but we’re still not sure how they’re going to work through it

I mean, nobody at the CCG is really going to appreciate this new development if they find out)

Peggy was actually pretty awesome…it’s still unknown if it’s true but there’s a story that a group of Tories and Native Americans once forced their way into the Schuyler mansion in Albany looking for Philip Schuyler (they were intending to capture him as a prisoner of war). Guests and family members, including Angelica and Eliza (who were both pregnant at the time) rushed upstairs to hide from the intruders, but then realize that they’d left the youngest Schuyler sister (Catharine, who wasn’t even a year old) downstairs. Peggy ran down to get her but was threatened by one of the raiders who demanded to know where her father was. Keeping a cool head, Peggy lied and said that he’d gone to get help and alarm the town, and this frightened the raiders enough that they decided to back off- but not before one of them threw a tomahawk at Peggy, who was running upstairs with the baby in her arms. She somehow managed to dodge it and the tomahawk left a dent in the banister (apparently the Schuylers kept it as a memento).

The way people view Erwin is also very similar to how people saw Hamilton- those who liked them liked them very well, but their behavior and choices also led to them gaining several enemies (Hamilton with his refusal to hold back or shut up, and Erwin with his manipulative, ruthless behavior that went against everything the government of the AoT world stood for). I also think the awe in Burr’s voice as he asks ‘How do you write like you’re running out of time? Are you running out of time?’ could apply to anyone watching Erwin becaus he really was non-stop in his own right.

(I could imagine Levi internally asking those questions about Erwin for the first few months after they met)

I like the idea of Jean-Eren Burr-Hamilton as an AU, because in different circumstances, I do think Jean and Eren’s relationship could have developed in a wrong, nasty way…

It’s either write or fight my way out in the AoT universe (for most of them, it’s fight- the only people who’d ‘write’ seem to be Erwin, Hange and Armin…possibly Bertolt, but he’s a warrior and still fights when push comes to shove)

For Schuyler Sisters, Mikasa is the best Angelica. For Satisfied and the cameo in Burn (‘you’ve married an Icarus…’) it’s Annie. And for Congratulations and her part in the Reynolds Pamphlet, it’s Ymir (I shiver at the thought of Ymir singing Congratulations. She’d roast Eren so badly).

I do think Ymir would technically make the best Angelica but Annie shares Angelica's more thoughtful streak; Ymir would probably be way more blunt during their first meeting but I can see Annie being cautious at first (‘I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, you forget yourself…’). Annie also strikes me as the type to get more emotional about whoever’s playing Eliza- ‘I love my sister more than anything in this life/I will choose her happiness over mine every time’ is Annie; ‘You could never be satisfied, god, I hope you’re satisfied’ is Ymir, in my opinion.

Ymir-Alex and Historia-Eliza sounds so awesome and fitting until you remember Say No To This.

btw, while we’re at it, why not make a TG Hamilton AU too? I’m not too sure yet but I do know I want Amon to play a major role (Amon-Hamilton and Shironeki-Burr, maybe?). And Yamori is James Reynolds.

(If it was a genderbend I could see Haise as Eliza and Arima as Angelica)

Aww, thank you! I have rhinitis so my voice usually sounds kinda nasal (even more so when I attempt high notes) but it sounds nice enough with quieter songs like Dear Theodosia

Conspiracy theory confirmed. Your shuffle is the lovechild of Furuta, Zeke and Moriarty (you’re welcome for the mental image that must have given you)

WE SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR FEELINGS QUEEN LUNA

(Also *inhales* this is so creepy…but your voice is really cute

Like, I’m jealous

And last note, sorry, but my presence here may be spotty for the next three weeks or so. I’m studying for an exam and you know that one song by Breaking Benjamin? DEAR AGOOOONNYYY)

IF I SAY GOODBYE, THE FANDOM LEARNS TO MOVE ON. IT OUTLIVES ME WHEN I’M GONE.

((This sounds like a huge setup for me saying ‘I’m abandoning the blog lol’ (suspicious squinting)))

Also, this is I have from you, messages wise ^^

Oh shit, that sounds bad o.o TELL ME MOAR, PLEASE. I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY PRECIOUS COOKIE

Oh wow, that’s pretty awesome! Peggy is a queen! Confirmed! However, how do you ‘forget’ a child?? Like, ‘oh look, the raiders are here! Better abandon this 1yo kid!’. I mean, I get that the panic is a factor in it, but still…  It’s a shame Peggy doesn’t have a big part in the musical ;-; She definitely deserves it. 

Erwin is definitely the best Hamilton in the whole AoT universe. He fits the personality of Hamilton perfectly, except for Write my way out. He would maybe do that, though, but only as a last resort. He’s more of the ‘I’ll manipulate my way out’ *maniacal laughter’ guy… Erwin would write 85 essays by himself if it meant reaching his goals and there’s no denying it. 

I’m so glad that Eren and Jean’s relationship developed the way it did. If their personalities were a bit different, I’d even ship them, because I’m a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope. 

You know what line fits Bert? And when push comes to shove, I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love. Because he acts all nice and then he’s like ‘whoopsy daisy, Im actually a bad guy fuck you all.’

Yeah, the different characters fit different songs. Man, Id pay to hear Ymir burn (huehue) Eren really badly. We’d be having Roasted Eren for dinner then. 

so, basically, Annie and Ymir’s lovechild make the best Angelica. Okay, that seems to make sense, since those two really are good Angelicas, yet lacking in some areas. 

OOOH YMIR-HISTORIA HAMILTON BEST HAMILTON.  What is that song? I don’t remember hearing it…

Dude, I’ve forgotten so much of TG I sat in front of my screen wondering ‘who tf is Shironeki’ for a while, until I realized it was ‘Shiro Kaneki’… I give up on life. 

AND YEEE HAISE ARIMA SCHUYLER SISTERS! Ft. Hide as Peggy.

Oh, we’re the opposites, then! I am much better with high pitch songs, which is why I usually stick to singing songs that involve the Schuyler sisters.

Yes, it is. I am beginning to doubt the existence of coincidence, y’know. It is downright evil. Seriously, sometimes, when I want to tell a story about my shuffle, I stop because it sounds like a lie.

*screech* thank yuu! My voice sounds quite quite childish, especially considering how old I am. But I’m glad you liked it ^^

Nope, I don’t know that song.

Also, you’ve seen how much I’ve been here, so yeee…