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sparklingpax · 4 years

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Rambles about TFP Megatron

This is opinionated, based on speculation (is that the right word??) and memories of episodes and moments in books. Please don’t be offended and get angry at me. I’m literally writing whatever comes to mind about this. Also sorry if none of it makes any real sesnes; again, these are my thoughts as they come so those tend to be incoherent and,,,,,unconnected?? Idk um

So scroll along if you’re not interested but here I go :’D

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I feel like I might get bashed for this (or not) but I really feel like Megatron in TFP is a tortured, misunderstood, haunted soul and I’m on his side as much as I am on the Autobots’ side.

Idk some people think he’s evil just because and has no redeeming factors but I really really beg to differ,,,, (no im not inviting debate because I get too scared of arguing with people I respect everyone’s opinions so I’m not trying to impose this one!)

He isn’t justified in the things he’s done, the many he has made to die, nor is he justified in any way for the physical and/or mental abuse of others, the top example being Starscream. However, I think we should point fingers at the initial corruption back on Cybertron, right after the whole “golden age.”

There’s really no one else to blame except the corrupt leaders who put the caste system into being. If it had not been so, Megatron would have never been born as D-16, an unknown and unimportant energon miner with no real future other than eventual, imminent death. He has a right to be as angry as he was, and as ready and willing to kill and overthrow that governmennt.

He took it too far, is all I have to say.

That’s also the difference that led to Orion and Megatronus falling out of friendship and “brotherhood,” as well as the whole ‘not being named a Prime but Orion was’ thing. Optimus felt the same way--though you have to acknowledge that even he could not understand fully and truly the anger Megatron had felt. Orion Pax had never known being worth absolutely nothing, and having no prospects or future. He was a scholar, gifted with knowledge and a job. He was not a higher-up, of course, so he was not exempt from feeling frustration at the limitations of his particular caste. But I think that’s also what gave Orion the ability to see the whole thing through a more level-headed gaze.

And that’s where it also isn’t fair to Megatron. How can you blame him for only having rage? He didn’t have a middlle-ground place like Orion did. He only had the “short end of the stick” his whole life.

So....um......I rambled and I’m not really sure where any of this was meant to go. I actually only inteded to write maybe one or two sentences but um now it’s all this. ^^’’’

Again, I’m not inviting debate because debating and arguing makes me really,,,,really nervous. I’m just having some thoughts..and I can totally understand the valid reasons people have to not feel that Megatron is a good character at all, and that he doesn’t have a real motive and is simply just “evil.” I respect that. I disagree, but I see your points ^//^

Just been thinking about this stuff lately, been watching episodes of TFP, reading the novels again....I really do feel bad for him, even though I am aware that what he did was wrong. I can’t help but feel like I should defend him, at least laying out the reasoning he had--though flawed in the end--and how he felt to give a little perspective.

And one final thing, if you wish to make a claim that his anger about being a slave is not real, and that he uses it as some sort of twisted “card to play” as a justification, just wanna bring this up. You’ve see the movie right? Regardless of whether you think it was a good or bad movie (I really enjoyed it but thats just me ^^’’) there’s a part at the end where Megatron says the Decepticon cause is finished, and that because he now knows the “true meaning of oppression” he no longer wants to inflict it on others. There are probably other ways to interpret this, but the way I see it is that he really may have lost himself a little when fighting the war. But being possessed and commanded by Unicron woke that up again. He’d been in command for so long, he himself forgot how much a leader could hurt their own troops, or what it felt like to be stepped over--to be hurt and insulted because you cannot do anything about it. When he tries to fight back against Unicron, it’s not because of the petty reasons of simply “wanting the power” or hating not being in charge, but I think he was enraged at being seen as a slave again. Something he’d fought a war for millenia to ensure never happened again--to him or anyone else.

And I think he also finally re-understood the last part of that statement.

That’s why when he was freed, he ended the war right then and there, and left--never to be heard from again.

I have no proof for these statements really, but I think it was purely guilt at having forgotten this war was not just about his own anger at injustice, but also to fight for the others who also felt as he did--his other, fellow Decepticons.

This is not really to say he is sorry for how he treated some of them, since he is a problematic dude and has his own reasons he’ll stick to if confronted about what he did to, say, Starscream or Starscream’s seekers when he tried to get Starscream to fear him. Or the many vehicons he didn’t care a single bit about. But I think the key is that he did change as a character--because he finally understood.

He now has more perspective, and I think that’s why he isn’t really “just an evil character” who “has no real cause,” but someone who suffered so much and then had nowhere to go or anyone to really look to for help or guidance when his rage was handed a sword and hundreds of followers. Given his background, what else could he have done but lead them all forward in a fight?

He really didn’t start the physical war himself, either. But he took it on as his responsibility and obligation to fight.

Even Optimus--or Orion, at the time--his first and only friend that he pushed away, could never understand. No one but his fellow decpticons, especially the ones from the lower ranks, would ever understand the true essance of the cause of being “Decepticons.”

Though he was bullshitting Optimus when he gave the reason for the name, I feel like at the same time, that was what he genuinely believed--that the cause of Decepticons and his fighting this war was branded as wrong and their beliefs were all lies. Megatron probably, deep in his spark, felt that if such things were branded as “lies” when they are really the truth, then he was proud to wear such a badge.

And when he ended the cause, I think what he meant was that he was ending his involvement in it, for he himself had failed to uphold what Decepticons really stood for through all the murder and oppression he caused, blinded by his emotions. Therefore, the only sensible, just thing to do was to leave. To go somewhere else. Whether he hoped someone else would lead them or not, we will truly never know and I have no intention to make any guess to that. Only Megatron himself could tell us that.

Both Megatron and the decepticons were not justifiied in the things they did, but if you can at least take in why they did those things, maybe you won’t dismiss them as simply “bad guys for the sake of being bad” and understand that they had a story too...

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delifreshvibez · 4 years

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yoooo it’s pris again! ( i also play @aimeesgao ) this time with the boi jay de leon, or just deli, bc he’s dumb n says it’s short for delicious. definitely a simp. if u wanna read more about this dumpster fire of a man that i’ve based off of all the pinoy boys i know slkfjds pls read below ! and as always, message me or like this post so we can plot and do all that fun stuff yee

( manny jacinto, cis male, he/him ) have you heard about JAY DE LEON? they’re a TWENTY EIGHT year old TEAM LEAD in the PHOTOGRAPHY team. i don’t know what their last job was, all i know is that they’re originally from LOS ANGELES, CA. carol in hr said that they’re kinda HEDONISTIC and MISCHIEVOUS but jessica in marketing insists that they are JOVIAL and CHARISMATIC. at the end of the day, no one is worthy of the instant hype here. i just hope they get achieve their dream of being A TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHER one day. According to the latest Vibez quiz, their Disney soulmate is Li Shang. ( pris, she/her, 23, pst )

BIO

deli is an la native all the way, literally grew up right in historic filipinotown and knows this city by heart

his family, which consisted of him, his two older bros, a little sis and a dog, were lower middle class, so they didn’t have a ton of free spending money but were able to get by. both his parents emigrated from the ph before he was born

school was never really his strong suit, at least when he was younger. he had other things he was interested in that didn’t involve studying and while his parents disciplined it was never really enough to change his behavior

what he does love? dance. while studying did indeed suck, he was able to at least keep his gpa up enough to stay on the dance team in high school

it was no question that he’d go to community college first to figure things out after graduating high school, because higher education was on the map..... it was just that he got sidetracked by other things

things took a turning point, however, toward the end of his senior year when his father lost his job during the recession. both he and his dad sought out minimum wage jobs after that, & deli juggled his two part time jobs with school

his goal then was to transfer to a 4 year university, which he eventually did 3 years later and entered ucla as a transfer student

there, he resumed his passion for dance in various teams and was active in cultural orgs. it was also when he really started becoming a raver and never looked back. he had always been into photography, then capturing events really helped him grow in his craft

as a result of his portfolio, he was invited to apply to vibez as intern for the summer after he graduated college

there was a part of him that was hesitant though, as his degree was unrelated (communications major, asian am minor) and he hoped to have a set job instead of an internship. but if you know deli, you know the guy is king of throwing caution to the wind

what started out as an internship to add some experience to his resume, soon became a permanent job on the photography team

he’s stayed put for the past 4 years, excited at actually being able to turn his passion into a career

besides that, the job was just fun. eventually, he worked his way up to lead and has been sitting in the position for nearly a year

a lot of people say he doesn’t take his job seriously, but deli would say that there’s nothing wrong with laughing and being a riot as long as you meet the deadlines

work hard, party harder amirite? soft fuckbois have rights. deli is ceo of the company

the change in leadership has kind of thrown deli off tbh -- he hates the faster turnaround and the idea of quantity over quality but who is he to say anything?

STATS

sexuality: pan / queer

sun sign: sagittarius

ascendant: gemini

moon: sagittarius

MBTI: enfp

moral alignment: chaotic good

enneagram: 7w6

hogwarts house: gryffindor

vibes: peter pan, lil papi evangelista, klaus hargreeves

WANTED CONNECTIONS

platonic

RIDE OR DIE: charli xcx / vroom vroom - pax.

PARTY BUDDIES: other ravers, drinkers, parties that are down to hang

BAD INFLUENCER: *enables u*- brady.

PLUG: his yelp reviews are 5 stars

PRANKSTERZ: the prank wars at vibez between them refuses to let up,,, it just gets more n more ridiculous,, pls stop them - sutton.

WORK WIFE/HUSBAND(S): it can be a poly work marriage he doesnt discriminate - hunter.

conflicts

HATER: for some reason, deli really grinds their gears so they can’t stand him - vanessa.

FRENEMIES: self explanatory

FORMER FRIEND: self explanatory

romantic ( open to m/f/enby )

FUCK BUDDIES: it’s just. fun. booty calls! are! valid!

FWB: we love to see it

RAVE BAE: u aint down

FLAMES: so it’s getting spicy spicy eh?

repeats the msg: if u made it all the way down here, ily ty! again, feel free to dm me or like this post and i will come bother u <333 also technically i’m at work rn oop so if i’m late to responding im so sorry lskfjls

#「 📸 ⋆ a wild pris appeared –– ◈ ooc 」#vibez:intros

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alicezan-ncgred · 5 years

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Bleeding Red

Preface: I’ve been bitching around the bush of this long enough. So, I’ve been really silent on a bunch of stuff that’s been eating me alive which has made me both inactive and unproductive. I’m going to get straight to the point, starting off with the TL:DR from my post on my main blog. Context: An anon asked me if I was alright because I hadn’t updated in a while.

TL:DR You probably didn’t ask this to hear about all the bad shit of my life so here’s the short of it. No, I’m not doing fine. I will try get next weeks post out on time and I’ll work on making up on the lost posts. Updates will return regularly, ‘ite.

Time for the thick and thin of it.

Insecurity and being shafted: I’m stoic, even at my worst I won’t say anything. I’ll push through regardless of my current condition and since I’ve gone years like this, it’s not hard for me to do. In my real life situation, I’m currently in a place of social isolation. This has lead to a somewhat near reliance on Tumblr to be my social outlet. This present many issues.

The main one is that I’m quite the isolationist. This has only been reinforced by many interactions throughout the entirely of my life. Because of this, I can’t say I’ve ever had anything really more than two friends at a time. While in a way this has helped me express myself so well through writing, it’s come at the cost of social skill. I don’t talk to anyone.

With this kind of issue you could easily imagine that the THREE PEOPLE (four now, but very limited) to ever directly talk ended up in a way shafting me. The first blocked and disconnected with me without warning or reason. At this point we’ve been talking to each for about a month and we hit it off very well and then one day, silence. Never heard from them again. That fucked me up hard when I finally realized what happened.

The second person left during the Tumblr P**n Purge. We were talking about how to contact each other on other platforms and then they stopped responding. I had already given contact to other platforms of which they pinged me in any way. Another person that I trusted massively on here just abandoned me and I’m still hurting from that. Wasn’t fair at all.

Then the third person was someone that I been following for a while. This person is actually the reason that I’ve been putting this off for so long. I don’t want them to see this post but they will. I got an ask from them that ultimately turned out to be misinformation. I said I wasn’t mad but I was. I was so fucking angry about it and I’m still kinda mad, but I didn’t want problems. I still don’t. I just didn’t want them to worry about it. This will come back later.

I try my best to be as inoffensive as possible. The problem with that is that much of the things I believe or enjoy are highly divisive. Hell, even my own identity can be seen as offence. I’m bisexual, non-binary (I’m currently still questioning this. I might actually be gender fluid but in the overall scheme, that’s worse than being non-binary), and nonreligious. I’m in a very religious area so you I’m still “in the closet” about much of this IRL. I though it would better online but with how much people are saying bisexuality doesn’t exist, or that non-binary isn’t a valid gender (or that being gender fluid make you insane and you should be locked up) and all the hate people who say they are this are getting, the very community that’s supposed to accept me, HATES me. I had a bi pride flag icon last year during Pride Month. I never doing that ever again. It was terrible.

I’m trying my best to come out of my shell like I said I would when I made this blog but it seems I’m just crawling further into it. People I think I can trust keep setting me up to fall, people I know in real life won’t ever accept my existence if they knew who I really was, and my own mental health problem and self loathing are eating me alive. But that isn’t the total of it.

Crumbling Pillar: I’ve always ended up in the position where things were thrown onto me. In which no one wanted to do, I was stuck with. Because of this not only do I have a severe distaste being around my family (beyond everything mentioned before hand) but I grew to have a negative out look on everything. This effect is still quite obvious in my writings, especially my poems. Out of the 14 poems on my poem blog @washed-soul, only one has a happy meaning.

The one happy poem was called dreams. Under a metaphor it talks about how a demon kept me trapped in a dark space. I start to get better and nearly break free before I have a negative relapse back to my old ways. The poems ends with the demon putting a end to itself leaving the nightmare in which it was keeping me in to slowly fade away, letting one crack of light peeking through to become a window to a door until one day I walk free. When writing this poem, I never thought I would find myself rebuilding the nightmare but that’s where I am.

I’m done with holding things together that other people have placed onto me. Because of this, issues have began showing in my private life. Issues that should’ve been solved decades ago are only now being addressed. This change in the status quo of my life has caused many issues in my productive and mood. Between everything else I’m too tired to do anything.

Is that a reason, is that an excuse. No it isn’t but it’s the best thing I got as a reason. I’m doing my damnedest to do the best I can but of course, when it comes to the thing that matter I just fall short. Big fucking whopha my intelligence and capability does me if I can’t use it for anything that means a damn.

Meaningless Triviality: I’m a very emotional person. I’m very strongly bound to my emotions and if everything above hasn’t given it away, my emotions are very negative prone. But it just doesn’t stop there, it goes back into my memories. I can only honestly place 3 happy memories for certain that aren’t either A) a dream or B) me escaping reality through my mind. Besides that, almost all my memories are negative.

People like to throw around the word Nihilist to describe themselves because today's culture is very, god while I hate to use this word, edgy. For those who don’t know a Nihilist is someone who views the world as being completely meaningless and reject all religious and moral principles. I very truly struggle with this outlook of life. It’s a daily for me to berate myself saying “just kill yourself” or “I want to die” or just shutting down and crumpling up while say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” over and over again. Hell, I did that while writing this.

I take things very hard, even the slightest transgression. I’m so used to trying to make things perfect and because people have the image that I’m the smart one, the mature one, the capable one, I’m left with the over hanging expectation of excellence. Almost no room for margin of error or being human. Since I’m the silent type, I put up no challenge and work to meet it. Only time I get any praise for anything too.

I guess as a little self promotion to my main blog, for those that have read the very first few updates of my main blog @the-truth-behind-redacted, or read Defiance’s character sheet, while The Machine and Defiance are separate character, they both share the name Machine. That in part is a reflect of said above expectation. How ravenous and inhuman it can be all under the guise of something human. Those characters are the two sides to the same coin.

Remember how I said I try to be un-problematical and how I try to avoid any potential conflict. In the first segment I told on how I lied about my feelings just so another person didn’t have to worry over something that honestly, in hindsight, wasn’t even really a big deal. But I also said how it consumed me in anger. I just don’t want to bother anyone over anything. It’s part of the reason why I am writing this post, as some way of a self enforced rehab program to get better.

This absolute consumption of negative emotion has pushed me into a non human state before. I hit a point of absolute mental exhaustion and in such a self enforced bubble of actual hatred I became completely apathetic. I felt numb to everything. I watched and heard of terrible things happening to people, and felt nothing. I watched people lives crumble before them leaving them nowhere to go and LAUGHED. “Just another worthless pathetic worm on this rotting carcass of a planet being hit with the hard reality that life doesn’t care for them. What whimsical pathetic bullshit they deluded themselves with to think otherwise.” This isn’t an exaggeration on how I thought, this is what I actually thought. Which brings me too.

The Mandatory Sob Story: Roll your eyes everyone and get the tiny violin. I guess in order for everyone to exactly understand the place I’m coming from when it comes to mental health I’ll have to detail my experiences. I have a long standing history with mental illness. I have professionally diagnosed OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, and visual and auditory hallucinations. I take 600 mg of Seroquel a day as well as Amitriptyline when needed. I’m also still currently in therapy to deal with said OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, the visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as Suicidal thoughts, and my Nihilism. There’s a reason to why I’m so god damn familiar with mental illness and treatment plans.

OCD and Bipolarism run in my family on my fathers side. My Father’s Father had them, my Sister has them, my brother most likely has them (however he refuses to see a doctor because he uses said possible mental illnesses as a get out of jail free card. He doesn’t want to be treated and he has FUCKING ADMITTED IT), my father has them, and I have them. I, however, have the misfortune of having it real bad. I said yes to well over half of all the total symptoms when I was being tested (I don’t remember exact numbers but I remember there being three pages worth of common symptoms) which was very worrying to the doctor. I was currently in an inpatient hospitalization program at the time for both suicidal thoughts and actions, and severe depression.

On that, my graze in with suicide. Before I went into my first inpatient program I was contemplating suicide. I was sat in front of a mirror with a bottle of over the counter medication. It was an unopened bottle of ibuprofen, 1000 200mg tables. What I planed to do was down the whole bottle with benadryl and die in my sleep. I had the small box of benadryl got from the Kroger pharmacy and a hand full of ibuprofen poured out looking directly into the mirror. My suicide note was sitting on the desk on my room with an online copy on my laptop open.

I sat there for an hour in the dead of midnight complicating my life. I had lost all hope in the world, filled with hatred, anger, pain, and despair. I had no god or after life to look forward too, part way hoping that a Hell existed for me to burn in. I hated myself that much. I was close to taking the first handful before before I caught a glimpse of my own eyes in the mirror. In what was in a weird sudden epiphany I realized that I truly did become what I hated but not for any reason I told myself. I became the very bastion of negativity I sought to fight and rid of in what little friends I did have. That was what set off my path to recovery in spite of the medical system. I guess if people care I’ll make a separate post on that.

Before I move on, I feel I should explain my history with the visual and auditory hallucinations. It should be no surprise that with everything else above, I also had extreme paranoia that led to me having very bad insomnia. Insomnia is, just like most other medical disorders like Depression, Self-harm, Anxiety, OCD, Bipolarism, is romanticized to hell. Insomnia isn’t having one nights bad sleep where you got 5 hours of sleep instead of 8.

You know what Insomnia is? insomnia is being physical incapable of sleeping despite not sleeping in 2 to 3 day while your body suffers massive agony brought on by this. Muscle spasms and seizing, difficulty breathing, your eyes feeling like fire ants are eating them, and of course visual and auditory hallucinations. Now I already had issues with visual and auditory hallucinations even when I could get sleep regularly but the combined effects of my OCD and Bipolarism made this perfect condition of Insomnia, Anxiety, Paranoia, with the already added in disposition to hallucinations and I felt like I was actually losing my mind.

My hallucinations presented themselves in three forms. Disassociation of reality, night terrors, or alterations of reality. Disassociation of reality often were complete black out moments. I would lose any perceived connect to reality and enter an episode of my mind. I can’t remember what they actually were but I do remember what it felt like. Cold sweats, anxiety to point where if I didn’t lock up I would vomit, actual physical pain, mind numbing fear, and intense fatigue.

The second were night terrors often in the form of horrific “things.” I do remember these and most of them were as best as I could describe, forms of things that were vaguely human and formations of industrial machinery. The most vivid one I remember was of a long lengthy apparition that was for the most part human but many locations of it’s impossible physiology were rebar beams and mechanical sockets. It began when I was about to fall asleep and it was next to my window. The thing was making week groaning and gasping sounds before it violently slammed against my window breaking it then letting out a horrific howl that I can’t describe as it tossed itself out followed shorty after with the sound of bones breaking against the dirt.

Now that might not seem so bad, exspecally with everything that is in horror movies or games now, but keep in mind that was fucking real to me. It was as real as the clicking of the keys of my keyboard as I’m writing this. As real as the chair I’m sitting in and as real as the wall in front of me. As far as my mind was concerned that thing, what ever it was, actually existed. It took me physical touching my window to make sure it wasn’t actually broken and checking outside to see if there wasn’t a body there. This isn’t the type of thing I talk about lightly.

Finally there is the alteration of reality. This is very simply but it’s something that fucked with me hard. For very little meaning or warning, I would have trouble interpreting the world around me. My hearing and sight would be warped and there wasn’t any real way to tell what I was hearing or seeing was real or not until the episode was over. The way I got through these was the ultimate fake it till you make it. Obviously, very often I failed and this created issue in my schooling.

Ending Message: I’ve been in a very bad state for a while now and as it is now, no signs of getting better. I also strongly believe my medications are being to fail me which I’ve been telling my doctor and therapist for over a year now but nothing’s been done. Mainly it’s my Depression but insomnia episodes are beginning and my own paranoia been on the rise. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even look at a creepy image or thumbnail without having a very bad episode.

I’ve managed to eat something today which was nice but my body is cramping hard. And to possible stave of a possible comment, I’m biologically male. Like I said I’m not in the best head space, or living for that matter. If this gets better, only time will tell.

#Long post #tw: suicide #TW: Depression #Trigger Warning #TW #OCD #Anxiety #Chronic Depression #Bipolar Disorder #Bipolar #Mental Health #My mental health

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blackrupee · 7 years

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Wow your life sounds complicated right now I'm sorry for that. So you aren't gonna have any managers what the fuck? And OH MY GOD I hate when people come in to eat so close to close!!!! ( I work @ zaxbys) if someone is acting passive aggressive I would act even more passive aggressive- make that bitch regret it- regarding the 2 guys: 2 guys is better than no guys:))) wish the first one didn't pressure you though. How did the 2nd one hurt you? - and I care so don't worry about boring me

hi hello would you like to read a novel on my life thanks i talk too much (tldrs at end)

nah like.. we had been managing with a general manager and 3 assistant managers even though we really need 4 so as not to overwork anyone. we recently hired a new one from a corporate arbys (we’re franchised) and two just quit. like i mentioned, theyre not coming back even though the original plan was that their new jobs would be only temporary (6 weeks). sooooo now we have a general manager who only works weekday day shifts, one assistant manager who is relatively new (she had been working at this place for a while but was promoted to manager 6ish months ago) and another who is brand new but still has some experience. they said theyre looking to promote from within initially, but they might have to hire outside people if no suitable potential manager is picked. id love to get manager pay and its not like managers do anything hard so id be WILLING to be a manager..like the whole reason why i got trained on backline was because we have such a big turnover rate with backline people since it fucking SUCKS and i was wanting to be helpful and flexible. so like. thats what i offerred. but one assistant manager was like “lmao all youd do is swear at the customers” and im like bitch when have i ever?? i talk shit about them all the time but ive only sworn IN FRONT OF a customer twice and neither time was it directed at them. but i mean im sitting on a small handful of customer complaints so its not like the gm would even consider me probably. idk dude. i can be nice if you pay me to be nice. but i get paid to do food and do it fast……….so

but yeah literallyyyyyyyyy i have no idea how people can be so??? inconsiderate???? and they dont??? care??? im learning that my contant frustration with people in my personal interactions is due to a disconnect between what i value in expectations and what actually happens. like. when i go somewhere i already KNOW what i want, so i say it quickly and competently. i preface a lot of my interactions with people im requesting food or services from with “i’m sorry but…”. i phrase things as “could i get” as opposed to “get me” or “i want” which sound HELLA rude tbh. id always have my money ready at the window or the register, im always trying to pay attention and not miss anything or just….be rude in any way bc i know fast food fucking sucks. i know some of the people i interact with probably hate their job as much as i do and i want to be the smallest burden i can be. and it seems like nearly no one else has these same values???? and i dont understand how people can just??? be? so? inconsiderate?

also yes bitch im the queen of passive aggression. literally the night before i was working a short shift and my friend was closing frontline and this bitch was closing drivethrough. i just got the okay to clock out and i was like “bye! have a beautiful night! just know that i love you so much and ive everything ive ever said has always been fake until this point! never meant anything ive ever said until now especially if your name starts with k or ends with ristin (drivethrough girl/the one whos being so difficult is named kristin) but just know that i love you!” and basically being really dramatic and extra as satire.

i guess for context the whole reason she decided to be mad at me was the other night when she was drunk and was like “do you even likeeeeeee meeee i feel like you hateeeee meeee wahh wahh wahhhh” even though im like…..yes bitch i enjoy your company? i joke/use hyperbole/satire/irony/whatever a lot but like occasionally id be like “ey yo you know its all jokes right u know i love u right” just to ensure that she knows but she fucking. ignores it all. i feel like she so desperately WANTS me to hate her and tbh i got fucking sick and tired of hearing her complain all the time about this shit! i fucking hate repeating myself! so sure. if you want me to hate you so fucking much there. i hate you. i fucking hate you so fucking much. like is that what you want to hear? is that validating? are you fucking happy?

its so fucking frustrating

but i will not be held accountable for her decision to be upset. because thats what it is. she wants to be upset, and she wants me to be responsible for it when its literally not my responsibility. i am absolutely not going to stand for this shit like i kind of want to say its emotional abuse lmaooo but im just so fucking sick of it.

everyone knows that i take chicken tenders and turnovers that would be thrown out at the end of the night and she was closing frontline yesterday and made a point to throw out the turnovers right next to me without asking if i wanted any/leaving any for me. i mean i completely expected her to be that petty of a bitch so it was kind of funny tbhonestly. also im p sure she unfollowed me here lmaoo

with regards to the guys and this paragraph could get a bit tmi/nsfw: yeah the first one kind of sucked but i feel like a little bit of the New Person Nerves have worn down so id do better if we were to hookup again. because like i totally would love to have fucked him but…..anxiety. he was hot tho. like 10/10 body and ass holy shit. plus he complimented me on my ass eating so (assuming that was genuine and not a vapid ego boost haha paranoia am i right) hopefully he comes back for seconds.

second guy ive had a longish history with. started talking to him at the beginning of last fall semester and we hooked up kinda regularly for about a month. things fell apart, we both understood that we wouldn’t be good dating wise but still enjoyed meaningless cuddles. whatever. it got to a point where he would only hit me up like once every month and a half or so and towards like january-ish he hits me up again. so im like nice cool lets chill. im getting ready for this but my phone is in the other room. while im doing this he drove by my place to pick me up (since he was on his way back from nashville), didnt get a response to an “im here” text (bc i was busy and tbh not expecting him to do that), and left. he lives within like walking distance tho so im like “?? sorry i was busy are you still out or should i walk over?“ and he texts me like “sorry hold up a thing just happened” and im like…….okay. so im just.. waiting around for him. periodically texting like “hey are we good for tonight and whats going on?” because like there was some drama with his friend? hes like.. apologizing and shit but this goes on for an hour. BUT. the ENTIRE time he’s dealing with this friend problem or whatever he’s literally on grindr. and at the end of this hour im like in full blown paranoia panic mode and i literally text him something mentioning this and he BLOCKS ME ON GRINDR so im like ??????!!!!??? and i text him (all while saying “not to be crazy or paranoid bc im probably coming off that way but like could i get an answer or something??”) AND HE LITERALLY SAYS HE DELETED HIS GRINDR. but thats a LIE because i have a secondary account to see like……if guys are still on grindr/if a thing with a guy might turn into something more like if i see he’s not on grindr as much?? thats prob incredibly stalkerish and probably really creepy but hey. thats me. so i KNOW he lied to me but i cant really say “hey ur a liar” without disclosing this weird creepy stalker part of me (funnily enough this isnt the first time a guy has lied to me and i caught it with my secondary account! so it proves to have some function use in the end. not totally crazy). so. yeah. that was the incident. after this i dont trust him at all, and i still dont, but i had it in my mind to like somehow get him to fall in love with me just so i could break his heart for doing this? never really worked out. so now im at the point where im like….eh he’s a piece of shit and i hate him but ill cuddle with him bc it feels good

back to nsfw/tmi: the sex was okay. he’s weird about people being near his like….dick and stuff because he was raped and i totally get it bc i was too but he was comfortable enough for me to finger him and my finger still hurts from where he clenched when he came lmaoooooo. was totally hot tho. and i got to east his ass so im like eyyyyyyyy. its been so long since ive eaten ass so having it two consecutive nights in a row has been cathartic.

tldr; we have 2 assisant managers and a gm rn. looking for more

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; he’s a liar

#also anon ilusm i love the attention and you god bless

2 notes · View notes

three-eyedraven · 7 years

Note

I want you to do all the numbers. I only reply so quickly because I get notifications when you post because I love you so much ❤❤ And I want to learn more about you

0: Height

5′2″

1: Virgin?

yes

2: Shoe size

anywhere from 7-8

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

I take CBD oil for my anxiety from time to time. I need to get better about taking it more regularly but I forget. (I don’t really consider it much of a drug really since there is no THC in it but it was recently classified as one so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

6: Age you get mistaken for

idk. a lot of the time like 18-20 but sometimes younger cuz im short and v quiet/my voice pitch goes up due to my social anxiety which i guess seems childish

7: Have tattoos?

not yet

8: Want any tattoos?

yep!

9: Got any piercings?

yep

10: Want any piercings?

don’t think there are anymore that I want so nah

11: Best friend?

Honestly, my girlfriend ( @lizzywaffles ). Also Rachel, Courtney, Mimi, Jordan, and Grace even though I don’t get to talk to her or see her a lot anymore.

12: Relationship status

In one ♡

13: Biggest turn ons

Idk probably light back scratching/rubbing, butt touching, lip biting, getting my hair played w, and idk that’s all I can think of rn. Just kissing is chill too.

14: Biggest turn offs

Rude, bigoted, not understanding or patient w me bc I take a lot of work, dishonest, loud, impulsive (like in a bad way [if that makes sense]), disloyal, and basically just basic things that most people don’t like.

15: Favorite movie

(in no order) Dope, Ponyo, Belle, Across the Universe, Lilo and Stitch, and I think that’s it

16: I’ll love you if

Are honest w me and respect me. Patient w me and kind to me. Funny and intelligent. Mostly if you are understanding and tbh I like clingy or don’t be super distant (unless you need it that’s okay) bc it’s always good to know you’re loved.

17: Someone you miss

My aunt, some of my friends cuz I haven’t seen a lot of people over break that I would’ve liked too which is bc I am trash and never initiate things. Also my girlfriend cuz I’m clingy yikes srry (but not really).

18: Most traumatic experience

Would rather not

19: A fact about your personality

I am v quiet. Like I just don’t really like to talk a lot plus I am v shy and suck at holding conversations so if I am ever really awkward and quiet around you or don’t reply it’s mostly bc Idk what to say so please do not take it personally, I’m v sorry.

20: What I hate most about myself

*queue Jean-Ralphio voice* everythiiinnnggg

But if I had to choose one thing personality wise it’d be my anxiety and physically my skin or maybe my weight

21: What I love most about myself

I like how artistic/creative I am

22: What I want to be when I get older

Makeup artist

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

It’s good, I guess

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

I love my mom a lot even though we fight sometimes and my dad I’m kinda neutral on tbh like I’m just v uncomfy around him and usually just get annoyed so meh.

25: My idea of a perfect date

Probably eat some good food whether we make it or go somewhere, then just chill out and maybe watch something, and then cuddle. Also I just like drives or walks especially at pretty places. Idk I am p simple tbh and I just love being around my s/o so really anything that doesn’t give me anxiety is gr8.

26: My biggest pet peeves

Chewing loudly, interrupting, and that’s all I can think of tbh.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

She is the most wonderful person ever and I adore her w every fiber of my being. She treats me v well and we always have a great time together. She makes me feel comfy and at home which is something that I never feel honestly so it is really nice. On the outside she is super swaggy but she is actually a huge dork once you get to know her and it is amazing. She also is really talented and she’s in a band called Generation Nomad so you should check em out on Spotify or whatever your preferred music streaming thingy is. Basically to sum it up she is the most incredible human to ever exist and I lover her so much. (sorry if this is too sappy but also im not bc i just love my girl so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Idk if there is someone I dislike the most honestly. I hate when people are rude, bigoted, and basically most of the things that were included in my “turn offs”.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

idk cuz I didn’t want to do something

30: What I hate the most about work/school

It is v time consuming and, if you are a baby like me, they cause a lot of anxiety. Also it just seems like people get stuck in it and can’t really enjoy life which sucks and is my fear.

31: What your last text message says

One is long and salty so Imma just do the second to last one which says “holy shit”

32: What words upset me the most

Slurs and that’s all I can think of rn tbh

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

Honestly just any nice words. Validation is always gr8

34: What I find attractive in women

I guess probably their sensitivity and I am just more comfortable around women. Also they’re just so pretty.

35: What I find attractive in men

Idk I guess their strength (I can’t really think of anything else so that’s what comes to mind). Guys are great tho but I just can’t think of specifics.

36: Where I would like to live

I’d either stay in CO or I’d like to live somewhere in the upper west coast. A different country would be cool but very hard.

37: One of my insecurities

I am v quiet and anxious so I worry that it comes off as me being a bitch. Also my anxiety keeps me from doing a lot of Cool Teen™ things so people probably think that I am really lame.

38: My childhood career choice

I wanted to be a singer and before that a hair stylist like my mom.

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

Chocolate, cookies n cream, or strawberry i guess.

40: Who wish I could be

idk tbh. I just wish I was a better, cooler, happier, prettier version of myself.

41: Where I want to be right now

Somewhere warm and maybe rainy. A beach would be nice for a bit. Or just w my girlfriend (cheesy i know). Also hangin w some good friends on the road or just somewhere new or something would be nice.

42: The last thing I ate

A cookie

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

My gf

44: A random fact about anything

Crocodiles have the strongest bite of any animal.

Thank you so much for the ask!! I love you too ♡

#ask #anon #Anonymous #sorry if any of this sounds stupid i am too tired to proof read #also i am stupid so #also sorry if anyone is offended by anything for some reason??

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classycollectorartisanposts-blog · 6 years

Text

Apison Tennessee Cheap car insurance quotes zip 37302

"Apison Tennessee Cheap car insurance quotes zip 37302

Apison Tennessee Cheap car insurance quotes zip 37302

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On the final quote page it said that my full annual quote would be 611.49. I just paid a 101.49 deposit via my debit card. It says that my direct debits will be taken each month, next month 54 and then 8 months of 57. My deposit and the direct debits add up to 611.49, exactly as the quote stated. So what is that box (with the red arrow pointing to it); http://img829.imageshack.us/f/screenshotdi.png/ Can they take more money without saying? Can someone please explain what that means?""

Who is the Blonde looking for better insurance rates in the progressive insurance commercial.?

She works alongside Stephanie Courtney in the progressive insurance company commercials.

How much would I pay for my yearly motorcycle insurance?

Thank you for your time. I am a 18 year old freshman university student living in Canada and I am really interested in buying a new motorcycle. I recently got my M1 and I will be going for my M2 next, so I am still kinda inexperienced. I looked at a few motorcycle websites and a couple of them read that motorcycle insurance is affected by age, experience, driving record, bike engine, etc. I figured that a medium sized engine probably wouldn't cost too much so I looked at a bike with 600cc. I am not worried about the initial cost of the bike since my scholarship money out-pays my tuition and housing by an excess of $4000. Also, I have had no history of accidents in cars or anything. I was wondering, based on my history and my status, what would be a good approximation of the yearly insurance I would have to pay given that I am a student and I am looking at a 600cc bike? Any input is appreciated.""

Will my insurance rates go up because of this?

I cancelled my Esurance policy and went to State Farm. I received a cancellation email afterward. My policy with Esurance is set to cancel completely on the 8th but I got an email today saying my policy had lapsed. Will my insurance rates with State Farm go up because of this?

Opposing insurance asking for information?

2 weeks ago I got into a car accident, I've already: -Plead guilty and paid ticket online -Submit claim for insurance company -Had car towed for auto shop And today I receive in the mail, forms from what I can see is the opposing insurance company asking for my name, age, address, SS#, license plate, insurance #, passengers during accident, and a diagram to draw how the accident happened. Am I require to fill this out? I thought the 2 insurance companies got this kind of information from each other""

Maternity Leave Insurance?

My husbands cousin told me about an insurance that covered her maternity leave. She got this insurance when she was 5 months pregnant and it covered her for 3 months of time off. My employer does not offer paid time off and I need an insurance that will cover my maternity leave even though Im pregnant right now. She doesnt remember what insurance it was.

Do I really need to buy the insurance?

Renting a car from Enterprise, I don't have a car or insurance but I do have a Drivers Lic.....Is the insurance a scam? Or should I get it? I am in California.""

Can I put my girlfriend on my health insurance if she lives with me? Or do we have to be married?

Can I still use my mom's health insurance?

My Mom has Anthem Blue Cross SISC III. I am married but 19 years old, and under the Affordable Care Act, children 26 and under are still supposed to be covered, married or unmarried, unless the adult child has another offer of employer-based coverage . My husband is a Marine, so I have the option to use Tricare, but I do not have my OWN employer-based coverage, so can I still use my mom's insurance? Her insurance plan is a lot better than Tricare.""

Got a speeding ticket. Will my insurance go up?

I am 28 years old. I have a clean driving record. I got a speeding ticket for 0-10 miles over. Seat belt on. Will my insurance company know I got this ticket and will they raise my rates. We have Geico. Should I take the defensive driving class and keep this ticket off my record? Or should I just pay it and go on?

I want to buy a car i am 15 and i want to know which car should i get and how much is the insurance gna b??

I LiVE IN FLORIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

""2nd speeding ticket in 13 months in the state of CA, how do i avoid insurance rates going up?""

So in california you can only go to traffic school once every 18months and if you take another traffic school (before 18 months is up) your insurance company can see that you took a traffic school. Although your record will be clean (they remove the point) if the insurance company sees that 2nd traffic school will they raise the insurance rates? also, this is my 2nd speeding ticket (1st one was in may last year, but cleared cause I went to traffic school) If I fight the ticket will it affect my insurance rates?""

Car Insurance and Driving Restrictions?

Hey! I pay car insurance under both of my parents vehicles but don't actually own one myself. The cars are not registered in my name or anything, I just want to specify that I AM on the insurance and that I PAY for it (I literally use my own money) myself. My question is: If I pay to be on the insurance, am I legally allowed to drive the vehicle without permission from the owner, since I pay for the insurance. Any response will be much appreciated. Thanks!""

Car insurance 17 year old?

I just passed my test afew days ago and have been looking at insurance. Most insurers won't give me a quote and if they do it's 19k. But i was looking into classic car insurance for a mini and got a quote from adrianflux for 3500 but i was i told i was to young for classic car insurance. I tryed a 1000cc yaris and they would not even quote me. I checked my details twice and there all right. I asked over the phone why there is such a change im price when they have the same size engine and he just said there cheaper to repair n that . and just so it's clear the minii quote was not classic car insurance. So any one know the logic behind this? + any other suggestions about insurance will help.

Will changing my Irish driving licence over to the UK greatly decrease my car insurance quotes?

I graduated from university last June and have since began working in England. I'm looking to get a car now but I'm finding that insurance quotes are quite high. I'm 26, male and have had my licence for 5 years, yet I'm being quoted in the range of 1,300-1,800 (for a Ford Mondeo 1.8 or a Peugeot 206 1.1). Any advice would be greatly appreciated.""

Motorcycle insurance question?

Will i receive anything in the mail if I get a motorcycle insurance quote online? I don't want them sending anything.....lol

""Im 18, and im bout to get my motorcycle license, and a bike, I want to find a cheap insurance. Does anyone?""

anyone know where I can find a cheap insurance in pa? I looked at all the big names, and it was 700-500 a month. I know ther are places that will work with the price i just need a little help finding them thank you.""

Apison Tennessee Cheap car insurance quotes zip 37302

Insurance for already pregnant women?

Currently 21 weeks with our first baby. My husband and I applied at out local DSS office for Medicaid but was denied. I am a high risk pregnancy and there is no way we can afford these bills... We live in North Carolina. Is there any insurance company that will cover me even though im already pregnant? Any help will be great. Thanks

""Dose my 400,000 SGLI military life insurance cover me off duty?""

i have been in 4 years and a spc in the colorado army national guard and i have 400,000 sgli life insurance. Someone told me on or off duty that life insurance covers me as long as i am in, is that true? I always thought it was on duty only life insurance so basically if one day off duty i get hit by a bus, that 400,000 dollars before taxes will be paid out to my beneficiaries the next couple of months after?? thanks.""

A question on fully comprehensive car insurance cover?

im 17 years old and am insured with quinn direct. I was just wondering if i would be able to drive other cars not insured under my name on third party? thanks for the help :)

Car insurance?

i am a first time driver, can anyone advise me on who is best for car insurance?""

Does anyone know in detail what no fault car insurance is?

I am having a problem understanding no fault car insurance. Can somebody explain how it works?

Where to get cheap motorcycle insurance in ontario?

Who do you contact if you know somebody commiting fraud on there car insurance?

given someone elses address for cheaper insurance

Young motorcylist trying to get car? Stupid insurance?

I want to swap my motorcycle for a car, as I need to drive to university one day a week and I want a car for the motorway (Safer during gusts & ICE). But..... the stupid insurance companies take no notice that I've been driving for two years, and want to charge me 3500!!!!! For an 800cc CAR!!! WTF?! For a 600cc bike, it'll cost me 450! Let's compare: 600cc BIKE (0-60 in 2.5 seconds, tops out at 130mph, worth 2000) 800cc CAR (0-60 in 17 seconds, tops out at 82mph, worth 850) Which one do YOU reckon should be cheaper?!!!!?? So, how do I get an insurer to actually realise that I've been on the road for two years, have a full motorcycle license, and that my insurance shouldn't be so STUPIDLY, RIDDICULOUSLY expensive?! Without fronting on my dad's policy :P BTW, adding parents as a named driver only reduces it by 300...""

Cheaper car for insurance?

I have a 98 eclipse spyder right now, and I'm paying about 700 every 6 months on insurance. Not only that but about 40 a week in gas and other various maintenance. I've put some custom things into it, just wondering with 115k miles on it, what would a good trade be for a reliable car with good MPG and lower insurance?""

Help please with health insurance?

I am new resident in usa and I am 25 y.old.I have valicocele problems and its already 7years that i still have it . It didnt heart before but now my pain increasing. I dont know where to go and what to do becouse I dont have any insurance yet and I dont know will insurance cover my sergery if need sergery. Please give some information what kind of insurance do I need . I also heard about colorado indigent care program(cicp) . And I dont know will it cover to go to doctor or to have sergery. I will really presuate if you can help me . Thanks

My insurance company doesnt want to pay!!?

I was struck by an uninsured driver on 02-10-11. Because the driver who struck me was uninsured I was forced to file a claim with my insurance company(Omni Insurance). The car was towed to CJ's collision at 6128 n beechwood Philadelphia, pa ,19138 on 02-11-11. Phone number 215-848-2836. On 02-14-11 Omni insurance sent out an appraiser to evaluate the vehicle. They then faxed an estimate on 02-15-11 totaling $5300 to CJ's collision shop. I went to the collision shop on 02-15-11 to sign paperwork giving them permission to work on my car. They then began the repairs. On 02-18-11 the insurance company then deemed my car a total loss. The vehicle is a 2005 Nissan Altima SL with 96,477 miles. The NADA value for the vehicle is 10,995. According to Omni insurance a car is deemed a total loss when the repairs reach 70% of the value of the vehicle. Omni insurance valued my car at 7,415. They then proposed a settlement offer of 5826.40. They deducted 975.00 in prior damages(which I disagree with) and 1000.00 my deductible. The settlement offer included 386.40 in sales tax. After negotiating on 02-28-11 they proposed an offer of 7835.30. The value they gave my car was 9255. Again 975.00 was deducted and my 1000.00 deductible. They including sales tax and tags/registration fee in the offer. I accepted the offer out of desperation because they also stopped paying for the rental car I was driving on 02-28-11. I work, attend school and have a child my schedule requires that I have a car so I paid out of pocket for a rental car until 03-07-11, expecting the payment to be issued to my lien holder by then so I could purchase another car. I contacted them on 03-07-11 inquiring about my payment and was informed they did not pick the vehicle up from the collision shop therefore they were not issuing a payment. The collision shop gave them a bill of 1750.00 for the repairs they did and the storage fees. The insurance company disagrees with this and refuses to pick the vehicle up and issue my payment. They have also stated this may come out of my settlement offer. The insurance company already has the title to the car and all the necessary paperwork to the vehicle but refuses to issue a payment. It has been a month since I filed my claim and I can no longer afford to pay for a rental especially since it seems I will have to purchase a new vehicle. The insurance company is low balling me and also forcing me to pay for repairs they approved then backed out of.""

Is falling asleep at the wheel covered by car insurance?

no other cars or persons were involved

How will the Affordable Care Act impact part-time and full-time employees?

So I get that employees working 30+ hours, and where there are 50+ employees, have to be offered health insurance, lest the company get a fine, but I'm not sure how that will work ...show more""

Trying to get cheaper auto insurance?

I live in NYC where auto insurance is extremely high. I wanted to know if mom and pop auto insurance companies are cheaper than top named auto insurance companies like Allstate, state farm, etc. The top auto insurance companies are giving me really high quotes. I see a lot of small business insurance companies in the neighborhood. I wonder if they will give me a lower quote and are they just as good as allstate or state farm, etc.? Thanks.""

How much would I pay for car insurance?

Im 19 and I was just wondering what would be a good estimate for how much I would pay for car insurance on like a normal sedan.

How can I find cheap car insurance?

I have a policy with RBC. They just jacked me up by 400 a year....

""How much is car insurance in Vancouver, BC Canada?""

Also, the auto plan premium if you are only using the vehicle for school (depending on how far the place is from home), work, shopping, and walking the dog (parks are too far)? I do not live in Vancouver as of yet, but soon will be. I need insurance for my car first.""

Car insurance for a classic triumph? Rough idea?

I've just turned 17 and am well on my way to getting a license I was wondering for a 17/18 year old male how much would insurance per month/per year for a 1960-1975 triumph spitfire I am desperate to have it as a first car and I can afford one at 3000-4000 at the moment I was just wondering how much the insurance on it would be it is such a beautiful car can't wait to get one. I tried getting quotes from compare the market but it was all very complex and I didn't really understand most of it. Any info would be much appreciated THANKS!!!

""How much is insurance for two adults, two small kids under 10, and two cars?""

I know for each company, it's different and varies, but how much do you guys pay personally for your company? Also, do you have to notify insurance after getting married. what happens if you forget? Do they call you personally or do you get fined?""

I got car insurance and it allows me to drive other peoples cars on my insurance?

if i were to buy another car, 2nd car will i be able to drive that without registering to any insruance company? i wont be selling my 1st car, it will still have the insruance, and the insruance it has allows me to drive other cars, but im not sure if the other cars also need insurance from a company""

Does anyone know what the cheapest insurance is?

i need insurance for a 2000 mercury cougar v6 2 door. any ideas?

Can I drive my friends car (with his permission) on my fully comprehensive insurance?

The car is registered in my friends name but his insurance has expired and he has not renewed it as he is away on holiday and not due back for a couple of months. Will I still be covered for Third Party as I insurance on my own car?

How much would motorcycle insurance for 600cc roughly cost for a 24 year old?

just need the rough estimate for 600cc sportsbikes. fireblade, gsxr, r6. please state the type of insurance too. thanks.""

What is average cost for insurance on a 2013 Kia optimum comp and collision?

Can you recommend a really inexpensive but still decent car insurance company?

I'm a student on a budget in difficult economic times. I'm Looking for affordable auto insurance in Chicago.

Apison Tennessee Cheap car insurance quotes zip 37302

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